We Made It Weird #257

Summary

Podcast Summary: We Made It Weird #257 with Pete Holmes & Valerie

Date: June 26, 2026
Host(s): Pete Holmes, Valerie
Podcast: You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes
Episode Theme: Exploring hidden "weirdness," honest reflections on personal growth, therapy, and generational change, seasoned with signature playful banter and comedic insight.

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Episode Overview

This episode of "We Made It Weird" is a classic Friday catch-up between Pete Holmes and his wife/co-host, Valerie. They seamlessly blend silly humor and heartfelt vulnerability, moving from playful discussions about sound effects and generational quirks to deep reflections on therapy, family wounds, and healing. The second half is particularly rich in personal insights and therapeutic wisdom, making it highly valuable for listeners interested in self-exploration and emotional growth.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Duality of Podcast Tone

• Lighthearted Open — "Grab-ass" and Sound Effects (00:32–14:20)
  • Pete and Valerie joke that the episode starts silly but has an especially therapeutic second half.
  • They riff on the awkwardness of phrases like "dear listener," NPR stylings, and Malcolm Gladwell’s mannerisms.
  • Long riff on the generational skills of making sound effects, with Pete teaching Valerie and riffing on how boys and girls practiced differently growing up.
  • Memorable Quote:
    Pete (03:17):
    “Apple did you know Apple’s actually working on the wireless fetus? The mom feeds it through Bluetooth. So Blue boob.”

2. Generational Musings & Identity

• Generational Stereotypes and the Passing of Power (16:10–23:53)
  • The hosts discuss their places in the generational spectrum: Gen X vs. Millennial.
  • Valerie breaks down how millennials are perceived ("helicopter-parented, no grit") but also highlights the resilience shaped by crises like 9/11, the 2008 recession, and parenting during the pandemic.
  • The disappearing role of Gen X in power transitions—Amy Poehler’s “forgotten generation” theory.
  • Memorable Quote:
    Valerie (21:24):
    "...when we are reactive or dysregulated...it's so often because we are identified with our child self. Our limbic brain doesn't know time."

3. The Power of Empathy & Personal Story

• Shared Humanity and Shifting Perspectives (06:23–07:38)
  • Discussion of studies showing how knowing someone with a different life experience (e.g., abortion, coming out) often changes hard-held beliefs.
  • Emotional story of Fortune Feimster’s mom becoming a huge ally after Fortune came out.
  • Quote:
    Valerie (07:05):
    “This is one of the things that really makes me sob... when... parents just become huge allies. I just love it.”

4. Sound Effects, Gender, and Nostalgia

• Silly Skills and Cultural Norms (12:08–16:13)
  • Valerie laments, jokingly, that boys are better at sound effects due to “practice” and unpacks how societal norms shaped harmless childhood behaviors.
  • Pete investigates why the term “heteronormative” feels awkward, suggesting “Lacroix” as a tongue-in-cheek alternative, and reflects on aging out of pop-culture relevance.
  • Quote:
    Pete (16:13):
    “Would you like a Lacroix with that Lacroix?... It just sounds preachy: heteronormative.”

5. Questions of Progress & Naming the Zeitgeist

• From Pickleball Noise to Billionaire Impact (04:42–25:58)
  • Hot takes on Ojai’s “pickeball wars” and how petty local controversies serve as a microcosm for larger societal shifts.
  • The strange phenomena of simple business ideas (like Chipotle or McDonald's) ballooning into billion-dollar empires, and how some founders changed the world while others just “make burritos.”
  • Quote:
    Pete (24:58):
    “One guy’s like, would you like guacamole? That’s fucking nuts.”

6. Savoring Others' Joy & Universal Satisfaction

• Finding Satisfaction in Others' Wins (34:44–36:07)
  • Pete wonders why we’re so disconnected from enjoying the small victories of strangers (like mailing a package) and muses on the collective joy that permeates daily life.
  • Quote:
    Pete (35:01):
    “There’s so much life that you have nothing to do with and it’s working out just fine.”

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Therapy, Healing, and Internal Family Systems

[Therapeutic Deep Dive: 45:05–64:35]

7. Childhood Wounds and Inner Parenting

• Therapeutic Visualization and Healing
  • Pete shares a moving story about feeling unseen in childhood and finding healing in therapy via inner dialogue and visualization.
  • He uses AI to create an image of adult Pete driving his child self in a Winnebago, embodying his role as "inner parent."
  • Valerie tears up seeing the image—a symbolic act of self-love and protection.
  • Memorable Exchange:
    Pete (49:25):
    "I talked to that part…and was like…let me drive the Winnebago. It just came out like this really authentic (thing)..."
    Valerie (50:44):
    “Bear it. It's so sweet, you guys.”

8. Relationship with Parents, Memory, and Compassion

• Balancing Pain and Gratitude
  • Discussion about how honoring childhood disappointments allows for unlocked gratitude and deeper appreciation for positive memories.
  • The metaphor of feeding a stray cat: tending to wounds with patience, and only then receiving the richer, positive memories (e.g., Pete’s father dressed as a clown).
  • Quote:
    Pete (62:36):
    “The more I give bowls of cream to these cats, the more they’ll go, 'okay, we can remember that dad dressed up as a clown…'"
  • The futility of toxic positivity—how jumping straight to gratitude bypasses genuine healing.

9. Living with Full Emotional Range

• Freedom through Acceptance
  • The necessity of feeling both joy and pain; you cannot lock out the bad without imprisoning the good.
  • Acceptance of fear and flaws as essential to a vibrant life.
  • Quote:
    Valerie (65:14):
    “If you are exiling anything, you're exiling all of it.”
  • Practicing gratitude even for fear itself (Rupert Spira’s “thank you for everything”).
  • Freedom comes from facing wounds and surviving—a new relationship with fear and even death.
  • Quote:
    Pete (67:50):
    “I love that we got really into the filet of the conversation right here in the end.”

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On “Blue Boob”:
  Pete, riffing dumb tech jokes (03:17)
• On doing sound effects:
  Valerie: “Boys are so much better at sound effects.” (15:12)
• Generations & hardship:
  Valerie: “We have had a lot of hardships in this generation, and…we’re cycle breakers.” (22:22)
• Therapy & Healing:
  Pete: “I uploaded a picture of me when I was about nine and a picture of me now. And I said, can you make a picture of me driving this kid in a Winnebago…” (50:22)
• On embracing all feelings:
  Valerie: “If you want the intense joy of…summer…then you have to also be willing to feel fully the depths of your despair.” (65:14)
• On gratitude for everything:
  Pete: “Rupert Spira says, 'Thank you for everything'…there's areas in my life I haven't been applying that to…” (65:33)
• The banquet table metaphor:
  Pete (70:20):
  "Sometimes it'll be my turn to carry the light while you're down...and their pain gives me an opportunity to hold them."

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Memorable/Bantery Moments

• Pete and Valerie doing and critiquing sound effects (09:32–15:31); “I taught you that one—shaving a head.”
• Extended digressions about what defines a burrito vs. a wrap, and food as cultural code (26:33–27:11).
• “The bald diplomat” as a band name (11:44).
• Valerie on the joy of friends making small mistakes, like typing “sandwich” instead of “sandbox” on Zoom (41:46–42:46).
• Pete: “I'm a beach. Call me a beach.” (45:19)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:32–14:20: Banter about sound effects, cultural/gender norms.
• 16:10–23:53: Generational analysis, millennial/Gen X stereotypes.
• 34:44–36:07: Satisfaction in others' wins.
• 45:05–64:35: In-depth therapeutic discussion and personal healing stories.
• 65:14–70:38: Accepting joy/pain, ultimate gratitude, and communal support.

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Conclusion

This episode transitions seamlessly from goofball fun into some of the deepest, most practical explorations of emotional healing and self-understanding on the podcast. Pete and Valerie model vulnerability, humor, and genuine curiosity about their own “weirdness,” making the episode both entertaining and deeply useful. The discussion of therapy, inner child work, and generational identity is rich, relatable, and delivered in the duo’s warm, irreverent tone—a must-listen for fans old and new.

Final words:
Valerie (71:48): “All right, everyone. Well, until next time, keep it crispy.”

Transcript

[Pete Holmes]

Lemonade. You made it weird with Pete Holmes.

[Valerie]

What's happening, weirdos?

[Pete Holmes]

Hi, everybody. Hi. I'm so glad you're here. This is the summer series. We made it.

[Valerie]

Weird summer series.

[Pete Holmes]

Although this one was not a sleep sleepy summer series.

[Valerie]

No, no, no. We got into it.

[Pete Holmes]

We got the AC on Really great therapy stuff in the second half of this episode. So if you don't love the grab ass of the first episode, the grab

[Valerie]

ass wasn't even too grabassy.

[Pete Holmes]

No, it wasn't. I think this is a great episode through and through. I know I always say that.

[Valerie]

Soup to nuts.

[Pete Holmes]

But the second half in particular had some very, very useful stuff. Tip to tail, tip to tail, tits to teeth. I don't know what that means. We're glad you're here. Thank you for being here. These, if you're new to the show, this is the Friday episodes where Valerie and I catch up. They're my favorites. And this, this episode will show you why. Only a couple things to plug. I have two specials on YouTube right now. One's called Silly Silly Fun Boy. That's the newest one. And then I have one called I am not for Everyone that used to be on Netflix, but now it's faux free on YouTube and spells to cast on your parents. Is my kids book which is coming out in September. Please pre order it if you think you might be getting it for yourself or for somebody you know with kids. Who cares? Maybe just read it. Maybe just read it.

[Valerie]

You can read it.

[Pete Holmes]

You can read it. Kids books are for everybody.

[Valerie]

Reading level.

[Pete Holmes]

It's for everybody. Everybody can handle the reading in this book.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And. And I have tour dates. We're going to be in North South Carolina, Although that's when this comes out. If you hear this the day it comes out, we're in North Carolina and it's okay. Hope hopefully sold out. But if it's not, hey, squeak on in.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Thank you everybody for coming out on the road. Petehomes.com for the tour dates and thanks for being here today.

[Valerie]

All right, everybody, get into it.

[Pete Holmes]

This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new.

[Valerie]

It can help you with practically anything

[Pete Holmes]

on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50 page restoration block. Or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini in Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense.

[Valerie]

There's no place like Chrome.

[Pete Holmes]

Check responses.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

Setup required.

[Pete Holmes]

Compatibility and availability.

[Valerie]

Various 18 morning decisions. How about a creamy mocha frappuccino drink or sweet vanilla smooth caramel, maybe? Or white chocolate mocha. Whichever you choose, delicious coffee awaits. Find Starbucks Frappuccino drinks wherever you buy your groceries.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna jump in.

[Valerie]

Oh, you're jumping in? Did you're. You're.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm jumping in.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

Oh, all right.

[Valerie]

We're jumping in.

[Pete Holmes]

You know why?

[Valerie]

I'm still untangling my wood.

[Pete Holmes]

That's just modern life, isn't it?

[Valerie]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

Chords.

[Valerie]

It's a metaphor for everything somehow.

[Pete Holmes]

And nothing's gonna grow up in a world with no chords. She's got babies are going to be cordless soon. Wow, that's such a dumb joke. Do you get it?

[Valerie]

Like fetuses.

[Pete Holmes]

Here, let me do it again. Fetuses are going to be. You know, Apple is working on the Bluetooth fetus that is fed through Bluetooth. Okay, let me fix it. Apple did you know Apple's actually working on the wireless fetus? The mom feeds it through Bluetooth. So Blue boob.

[Valerie]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

This sucks.

[Valerie]

It got worse.

[Pete Holmes]

This is like Christian comedy. With all respect.

[Valerie]

With all respect. All respect to the many Christian comedians,

[Pete Holmes]

to the robust ccc, the Christian comedy community. I wanted to say, and I thought this would light you up, and for once, listeners, don't you hate when people go, dear listener.

[Valerie]

Oh, no, I don't want you to ever say that again.

[Pete Holmes]

It's the worst. Still in the mix. Like, it's an npr.

[Valerie]

It is an npr.

[Pete Holmes]

Is it npr? Well, it's almost like people trying to be npr, but NPR wouldn't do it. It's like what people think. Npr.

[Valerie]

Yeah, it's.

[Pete Holmes]

And the truth is, dear listener, and

[Valerie]

the listeners of this podcast will know it's. It's also like screaming Malcolm Gladwell to me. And you know how I feel about that.

[Pete Holmes]

And you know, I love Melky Glad, but he really showed my goad sometimes.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

What did I say? I listened to an episode of his recently, and I was like, you wouldn't believe it. He's just very enthusiastic about everything.

[Valerie]

I mean, and this is. This is. We've covered this point of it is that it's something that he likes. He was in.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, that's what it is. He was going. He had a whole episode called Yimby.

[Valerie]

Oh, And.

[Pete Holmes]

And. And he kept. Yimby is. Yes. In my backyard.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And he kept going, I am Yimby. Well, hear me roar.

[Valerie]

It's a time. And then.

[Pete Holmes]

And he said it once.

[Valerie]

He made up, because it's based on nimby, which is not in my backyard.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't think he made it up. Oh, I like that you think he made it up, and maybe he did, but I think I'm sort of famously, like, I can be crusty. Like, when they were like, let's build pickleball courts. Like, people were getting mad in Ojai about, like, pickleball courts. And I. And some poor. From my perspective, some poor family was like, it's. It's a. It's a noise nuisance. Like, they built this court, and we. It wasn't there when we moved in, and I have an elderly dad, and all we hear are bros playing pickleball.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I. Look, I know this is a hot take, but there's a lot bigger things going on in the world, so let's just enjoy that. I have a hot take on this. I'm like, I side with the people that are like, it's disrupting our lives. I don't side with the guys that are like, but we want to get our pickle, especially because there are other places to play pickleball. Yeah, there's other places.

[Valerie]

It was like, yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And they were like, well, they're always full. I'm like, okay, wait six months for this trend to end.

[Valerie]

It actually was very exciting time in Ohio. This was a very small.

[Pete Holmes]

People hate me right now.

[Valerie]

Very big deal.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

And it. It had layers. Like, it was like, but there's another court. And they're like, but there's no shade in that court. And then it's like, the elderly people are being disturbed. And they're like, the elderly people are the ones playing pick pickleball that need this exercise. And you're like, ah. It was. I was so back and forth about it.

[Pete Holmes]

Like a pickleball.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I. Look, it's not that I. My. It's just sound trauma.

[Valerie]

Yeah. It's sound drama.

[Pete Holmes]

So you understand, by the way, you know, there was that study. It was a really interesting study. And. And they used abortion as the issue. Everybody, relax. We're gonna keep a pickleball light. I'm just saying they went door to door surveying people about whether or not they were pro choice or pro life.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And every. It was like, in a part of the world where everybody was pro life. And then they did this study where they had the person before they would say, I'm pro life. And then they would share their story of. Of, I believe, getting an abortion and, like, where they came from and what it was. And it was staggering how many people, once they could, like, relate to if

[Valerie]

you know one person.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Valerie]

That's.

[Pete Holmes]

That's like.

[Valerie]

This is one of the things that really makes me, like, SOB is any story. And there's so many stories of, like, gay people coming out as gay in, like, the south with, like, their Christian parents, and it's generally the mothers. But, like, if it's a father too, I'll. I'll just, like, lose it.

[Pete Holmes]

But that sides with them and that

[Valerie]

just, like, become huge allies and, like, start, like, fortune. Feenster's mom is one of these, like, where she's like, a huge, like, gay fortune. And, like. Yeah. And it's. It.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I love it.

[Valerie]

I just love it. Like, that's exactly what happens. Like, I feel it's so hard, you know, it's hard for the kid. I think being raised in the south or in a conservative community.

[Pete Holmes]

Not all parts of the South.

[Valerie]

Yes, the conservative community. But it's sort of like the best thing that could happen to people like that is that they get a kid.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, and I. Obviously, I don't categorize these things in the same

[Valerie]

oh, God.

[Pete Holmes]

Categories. The worst, when you're walking down the hallway of a sentence and there's no door at the end. Obviously, I don't categorize these the same in the same. I could just say the same. But it's like, sometimes people have an illness and they become the biggest advocates of that illness, and it, like, really. Whatever. Just one of the kind of sleeper beauties in the world.

[Valerie]

Okay. All right. What were you saying?

[Pete Holmes]

Go. Oh, I don't. What was I saying?

[Valerie]

Something that was gonna light me up. Did you.

[Pete Holmes]

At the beginning?

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

At the beginning.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Can I also just say I rewatched Superman. Oh, can we drop a couple of these now? I'm not recommending the new Superman, although I thought it was wonderful. What is it? Common side effects.

[Valerie]

Common side effects. We're enjoying.

[Pete Holmes]

I just do think one of the. It's, like, in the bottom of the top 10 reasons you might listen to this podcast or, like, what to watch. And I do think we're asleeper.

[Valerie]

You can't do it this soon. You can't do it this soon after, by the way.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't even think people know what that is.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

There was a line producer on Crashing who was Russian, and then there was a guy. Well, I won't say who it was, but he was kind of a meek writer, and he was, like, always going on dates. Like, he just had, like, a certain charm. And you just. I saw it. But Often the world doesn't favor these sweethearted, kind, quiet guys. And I believe this line producer Rushen went sleep our game, and it became

[Valerie]

like a staple in our lives.

[Pete Holmes]

It was actually this. He got an apartment and the line producer went bachelor pad and everyone died. And then that cadence got applied to sleep for good. Oh, it did.

[Valerie]

He never said.

[Pete Holmes]

He never said sleeper game.

[Valerie]

Oh, wow.

[Pete Holmes]

He said bachelor pad and we loved it. And then that became sleep for game.

[Valerie]

Sleeper game.

[Pete Holmes]

So sleeper. Anyway, so we are a sleeper podcast for telling people what to watch. Like Valley Heat. Valley. That was the worst. Valley Heat. Valley Heat.

[Valerie]

Valley Heat. Valley.

[Pete Holmes]

I know, but. Valley Heat.

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

English teacher.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then I'm going to say I'm fucking blown away by common side effects.

[Valerie]

We're loving it.

[Pete Holmes]

We turned it on.

[Valerie]

We were already.

[Pete Holmes]

We were gonna turn it off. My finger was on the. No, I was ready. It was kind of late and. It's a cartoon. It's animated.

[Valerie]

It's animated.

[Pete Holmes]

Let's not call it a cartoon. They don't like that.

[Valerie]

They don't.

[Pete Holmes]

Cartoons don't like being called. They like animated shows.

[Valerie]

It's an animated series.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm just kidding. They don't have consciousness. But we were so ready to be like, we can't watch a cartoon.

[Valerie]

Yeah. We can't watch it.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's so fucking good.

[Valerie]

I was such a.

[Pete Holmes]

No, Dave King is the voice. Dave King was a writer. Dave King probably knows a spatula pad, although he didn't. He might not have been there at that point, but Dave King is publishing is amazing. He's the boy. Yeah. He's the. Yeah. My interpreter. It's like, we're the un.

[Valerie]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I am the bald Diplomat. I'm like a bald, heavy Eastern year and diplomat. And you are my gorgeous blonde. Everyone's in love with you. Oh, my God, that's us. But I have a small country called Petlandia or something. And I'm like, I love major exports. Or poop jokes. And you're like, he's saying hello.

[Valerie]

That's a cultural thing. He's. That's how he says hello. It's actually the highest honor.

[Pete Holmes]

Jesus.

[Valerie]

Bald Diplomat is a great band name.

[Pete Holmes]

We are Bald Diplomat.

[Valerie]

It's like electronica.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

It turns out I can't do electronica sounds. And this is me finding that out in real time. This is what you turn into. I can't do side effects. I suck. I can't do sound effects.

[Pete Holmes]

And no girls can I try to teach Leela sound effects because I was like, no daughter of mine's gonna go. You gotta go. It's not that hard.

[Valerie]

It's so good. That's so good. How do you do it? Okay. I'm gonna do my best.

[Pete Holmes]

Let's talk about it first. It's a loose mouth, like a. Think of an old man who took his dentures out so it's all floppy. And now you're gonna roll. Can you roll your tongue? You're gonna do that right at the back of your top row. Teeth. And then. Yes, let the flap of your lips a little bit lower down. Good. Now I need more wind in you because you're not. You're. It's like you're doing a burst shot. And I want more of a.

[Valerie]

Excited. I'm getting too excited. Okay, okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Wait, you're shooting at a helicopter. We do that one all the time.

[Valerie]

You taught me that.

[Pete Holmes]

How about a silenced.

[Valerie]

I'm literally saying cute.

[Pete Holmes]

Are you on the list? No, I'm not.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

Whoa.

[Pete Holmes]

How about night vision goggles? You could probably do that better because you don't have the. Your vocal cords aren't dragged down by your nuts.

[Valerie]

That's just Meagle doing sound effects.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

I mean, our boys. Boys are better. I'm realizing this one's my favorite one. This is my favorite one.

[Pete Holmes]

Shaving a head.

[Valerie]

That is my favorite one.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, how is it so good?

[Valerie]

It's so good.

[Pete Holmes]

It's dire strides. Oh, my God.

[Valerie]

Can you do the sound effect of people hitting 15 seconds forward around the

[Pete Holmes]

world and jokes on them? They jump to the ads element.

[Valerie]

Honestly, I'll take this.

[Pete Holmes]

I prefer this.

[Valerie]

I really.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, you can do Tigs opening the curtains in a hotel. It's just exhaling out your nose.

[Valerie]

That is so good. Tig does that. I love that.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

Now that you can.

[Pete Holmes]

That was good. This is the pod.

[Valerie]

I. I have felt. I mean, we've talked about this before, just in our relationship, that boys are so much better at sound effects. But I'm realizing, as you just went on that tear, I'm like, that's because you guys were always doing it like you practiced. Girls were never, like, in their car, being like.

[Pete Holmes]

Right. It would be, like, alarming in the 80s if you're. I. I don't stand by this.

[Valerie]

No, this is all heteronorma.

[Pete Holmes]

Gender normative is not a good term.

[Valerie]

What do you mean?

[Pete Holmes]

I'm not saying it's a good term. It's a useful term. I'm just saying I wish it didn't sound the way it sounds like it

[Valerie]

sounds like A rolled off the tongue better.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. What if it was like, it's a little Lacroix. It's a little. I know. This is a little Lacroix of me. Like, it just sounds preachy. Heteronormative.

[Valerie]

I mean.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, Lacroix.

[Valerie]

Lacroix.

[Pete Holmes]

Would you like a Lacroix with that Lacroix? Like, now we're having jokes and people are like, what does that mean?

[Valerie]

It means you want your thing to sound better. Like, you want the thing that you are to be more complimentary.

[Pete Holmes]

I think we talked about this. I now that. Well, this actually kind of plays into it. Like, the fact that you and I love Mac Miller. We are the white dorky parents that are like, we love Mac.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, we roll up to pick up our daughter and we're playing Mac Miller. Like, we're embarrassing.

[Valerie]

Yeah. Like, it's happening and she doesn't even, you know, she's like, annoyed by Mac Miller.

[Pete Holmes]

Sure.

[Valerie]

And then I also picked up another kid from school and had Mac Miller playing and she was like, oh, my dad loves this song. Yeah, we're. We're.

[Pete Holmes]

That's what I'm saying. That's the Eagles. He's the Eagles.

[Valerie]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

And also my act. I was talking to Matt about this, who I tour with. I was like, oh, my God. Like, so much of my act is from this very specific and it is lacroixian perspective. I'm already trying to get it going.

[Valerie]

It's stupid. I don't.

[Pete Holmes]

It's very Lacroix. But, like, there's a lot of references to, like. And I mean this with full respect. Like, there's. I have a joke about how sex makes babies. And that is from that, you know, Lacroix. Lacroix perspective. And sometimes I'll change it to, like, a person gets pregnant, but then I'm talking about feeding with your boobs. Like, it's very Lacroix.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then I'm really like. I don't know. It just sneaks up on you is what I'm saying. There was a time when I was wearing acid washed jeans. I had a toothpick. I had little sunglasses, like little circle sun. I was George Michael. I'm just kidding. I was in the mix and I was like on that edge of, like, pushing it. And the old people were like, shaking their fists and. And now we are. We have a Volvo, we drive a Volvo and we ride around listening to Mac Miller. And they're like, more like whack Miller.

[Valerie]

Oh, that's what the kids are saying.

[Pete Holmes]

And how dare they? He's so fun. He's just having fun with it.

[Valerie]

He's so.

[Pete Holmes]

Which is what a dork dad would say.

[Valerie]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

He's just having fun with it.

[Valerie]

I know. Well, there's. You know, it's so interesting just having fun with it. You. Did you know that you're sort of on the cusp between Gen X and Millennial?

[Pete Holmes]

I am.

[Valerie]

We looked up Ryan Atsuko's husband, and I looked up the, like, exact brackets of the generations, and gen X is 1965. What, to 1981. So you're two years from being. And millennial is 19, or. No, no, I think it's 1980. And then millennial is 1981.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm one year off from being a millennial.

[Valerie]

An elder Millennial.

[Pete Holmes]

Right. I'm this close to being Eliza Schlesinger.

[Valerie]

Yes, exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

I. That's sort of heartbreaking for me. I thought. I thought I was. I thought I was the quintessential.

[Valerie]

I thought you were, too. I thought you were, too.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'm like, I'm embarrassed by this, Val. You know, I don't. What the fuck is wrong with me? I was just gonna say, I don't love labels. Like, I don't go around telling you who my sports team is, what my town is like, but I do go around being like, I'm Gen X. Like, I love.

[Valerie]

And I think you can, because I think you are.

[Pete Holmes]

I think, no, I'll lose it.

[Valerie]

No, I think you are more than you are Millennial.

[Pete Holmes]

What's Millennial mean, though?

[Valerie]

Millennials?

[Pete Holmes]

Are you a millennial?

[Valerie]

Yes. And I'm like, you can't be the same generation in the middle. So it's 1981 to 1996, and I'm 89. So I'm like, great year. Right in the middle of.

[Pete Holmes]

And what. What is. What do you get?

[Valerie]

So we got. For being entitled, being helicopter parented. So, like, we didn't get.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm scoffing off Mike.

[Valerie]

Yeah. Having, you know, no grit because we were protected. But then that's. That was what it used to be like. I remember when I was in. When I was teaching middle school, I was 22, and I. We taught, like, it was part of the curriculum to teach this article about millennials so that they could, like, we could be teaching them about their generation. And the whole thing was, like, millennials and helicopter parenting. And it was this argument that, like, because we were helicopter parented, we don't have grit and resilience. And, like, we have to like, work hard. We have to reverse our entitlement. So that's kind of what I thought we were associated with, but now it's like, not. It's not that at all, because we lit. And I don't know if this had happened. I guess it had. But, like, we graduated high school, like, right around 2008. And, like, that's that recession. So a lot of us graduated, like. Like college and high school. And, like, so we were buying houses during that. That was one thing. Oh, we were like, 9, 11 happening.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, you were the guys getting ripped by that crisis.

[Valerie]

We were getting ripped by that. There's like, a. Like, a list of things. We were having kids during the pandemic.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, I feel bad.

[Valerie]

We were like. We've had the, like, hardest.

[Pete Holmes]

That sucks.

[Valerie]

There's a whole list I've seen, but I haven't.

[Pete Holmes]

You're gonna be. Once the boomies, with respect, are all gone. They're like the greatest generation, right, Walter?

[Valerie]

They're no. Their. I think that generation is called the greatest generation.

[Pete Holmes]

That's hard.

[Valerie]

I know. And stupid, too.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. But, like, I'm trying to make. Well, yeah. You know where I'm going. I'm like, once we thin the herd a little bit.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You guys will get your day in the sun. You'll be like, look at what we. The housing crash. And then you had kids during the pandemic.

[Valerie]

Yes. And there's like. There's other things that I just am not remembering, but it's like, we've had a lot of hardships in this generation, and we're like the generation. Although this spills over into Gen X for sure. But, like, where we're like, we have more resources and we know more about trauma, so we're, like, healing our trauma while we're also parenting. And it's like this. We're like cycle breakers. It's.

[Pete Holmes]

It.

[Valerie]

It's very.

[Pete Holmes]

Cycle breakers.

[Valerie]

But here's. So here's what's interesting.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know why I put a lisp on that. I didn't like it.

[Valerie]

So Amy Poehler is Gen X, and she's always talking about how you guys are the reflection for the forgotten generation because it's. Boomers are still in power, and they really shouldn't be. They, like, millennials should be in power now.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh. Because we don't hand it over anymore.

[Valerie]

And. Yeah. And, like, Gen X is just getting sort of leapfrogged where they're like. Like, you'll never really likely have. It's gonna go from Donald Trump to, like, aoc. You know, like the millennials that are like, oh, right. Like, Jen's. Gen X will never have a chance to be in power there. And Ryan was. Last night, he was like that because he's Gen X. He's like, that's actually also the most Gen X thing, is just, like, you guys do it. I'm not gonna do it. Like, you guys just. Just skip over us. It's fine.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, Elon Musk is Gen X. Look, I don't like Elon Musk. I'm just saying that's a. That's a powerful person.

[Valerie]

Yeah, that's true. And probably Jeff Bezos, maybe, for sure. Yeah, Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't even have to Google that. Like, that's. That those are Gen X. He's going like, I'll mail you a dvd. Yeah, that is the most true. Or is that Sarandos? I confused them.

[Valerie]

I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

Sarandos is Netflix.

[Valerie]

Yeah, Sarandos is Netflix.

[Pete Holmes]

And you said Jesus is Amazon. Amazon. That's also. That seems like a very Gen X thing. It's like, we love video games. I'll send you one.

[Valerie]

Yeah, yeah, I guess that's true. That is true. So you guys are having power right now.

[Pete Holmes]

A lot of it. But that was. That was like, three really powerful people. The bit that I'll never do where I go, isn't it funny that, like, there's like, I don't know. I don't know how many billionaires there are, but let's say there's 10. Please don't get mad. Don't get mad at my pickleball take. Don't get mad that I don't know exactly how many billionaires there are, but for ease, let's say there are 10. It's like Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Sarando, I guess. And then the founder of Chipotle. Did we already laugh about this? So, like, some of these guys are like, I'll overnight you any product. I'll replace every store. Okay, you're a billionaire. Yeah, I'm gonna make rockets that go to. Look, I have issues with Elon Musk, too. I'm just saying, like, that's a pretty impressive business. Yeah, it's pretty, pretty. Like, it's literally like we hear a crack and a pop, and I see a rocket going up, and I'm like, elon Musk. It's like fucking Lex Luthor shit. Yeah, that's a billionaire. And then one guy's like, would you like guacamole? That's Fucking nuts.

[Valerie]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

If you. There's gotta be a business. There certainly is a business term for like a simple idea scaled. Yeah, it's McDonald's. We'll make you a hamburger. And he's like, I'll make you a burrito. Like, it's. I'm so middle aged that I would like to know how he did that.

[Valerie]

It is.

[Pete Holmes]

That's how middle aged I am.

[Valerie]

But it is insane that it's. That it's not just everywhere. Like, it's. It's crazy that Chipotle is the only one that did that. Because you're like.

[Pete Holmes]

That's what I'm saying. Like, street meat is who wasn't trying to expand.

[Valerie]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Who. What popular burrito shop in Brooklyn wasn't buying another one.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Across town. They were all doing it. Why did Chipotle work? I know, but it's not because it's good. I mean, it is shots fired. I do like it. I like it. But it's not. Like, is it. What is it? It's consistent.

[Valerie]

It's consistent.

[Pete Holmes]

It hit a zeitgeist. Just two idiots guessing.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But it did hit a zeitgeist where we wanted. They caught slop. Like, we love slop bowls now.

[Valerie]

Oh.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, it hit the. The health trend of, like, protein.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And like brown rice.

[Valerie]

And it is, you know, it's different.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like you can get a little nasty with it. It's like, can you put some sour cream on there like it's your birthday.

[Valerie]

Yeah. You can specialize. Yeah. Yeah. But like, I mean, and it makes perfect sense because Mexican food. And this is my favorite type of food.

[Pete Holmes]

I love Mexican food.

[Valerie]

I love Mexican food more than anything. But it is sort of like all the same ingredients in different forms.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a Jim Gavkin bit.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

What's a quesadilla? He goes, it's a. It's a tortilla, cheese and meat. What's a taco? It's a tortilla, cheese and meat. And he goes, just say a Spanish word and I'll bring you something.

[Valerie]

Yes, I remember.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, it's a great bit.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

But.

[Pete Holmes]

And my old roommate, Chris Burns, shout out to my old roommate who is now a manager. He had a bit where he goes, I forget how he set it up, but he's like, sometimes they call it a burrito, sometimes they call it a wrap. It depends on the ethnicity of the person making it.

[Valerie]

That's so funny.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like if it's a Mexican person, it's a Burrito. But if it's a white lady, it's like, oh, it's a Caesar wrap. Like it could have beans and rice. Like, I got a wrap.

[Valerie]

That's funny.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like fucking racist food. A racial food.

[Valerie]

Racial food.

[Pete Holmes]

Racial.

[Valerie]

That's not really true, but it is funny.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a funny observation. Shout out to Chris Burton.

[Valerie]

I. Oh, yeah.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

So.

[Valerie]

But the one thing I want to. Going back to the generations, the one thing I do want to get out there because it's so self serving, is that Amy Poehler thinks that the millennials will save us.

[Pete Holmes]

I like that. I was thinking about it today, really. I was literally trying to, to look around, you know, just look around, looking around for a good feeling. And I was like, I think I'm just one of those old people now that's like, I think the young people might. I see a lot of good trends.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

With the youngs, I see a lot of the Internet's giving us so much information, so much connectivity. It's also giving us, you know, death on a platter for sure. But like, I see some good resistance, some smarts.

[Valerie]

Well, Gen Z, I think too will be.

[Pete Holmes]

That's what I'm. Yeah, them for sure.

[Valerie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

They're principled, they're anti AI. I love everything about you little fuckers. I'm just saying, like, yeah, good.

[Valerie]

I do. I've made this observation before, but I, and I don't know if I've done it on the podcast, but like, yeah, I think we have. We've talked about how like whenever the new generation is emerging, they're really, really starting to emerge once they get into the workforce. So that's like their early 20s. And we always seem to be like, this generation is entitled and they don't work hard and they're slackers because they

[Pete Holmes]

have that we didn't have.

[Valerie]

And also we're like, it's because you're assessing them when they're in their twenties. That's how everyone is when they're in their twenties.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Valerie]

Like, you can't be held to how you are.

[Pete Holmes]

I also think it's, sorry, baby.

[Valerie]

Well, no, no, that's just like, that's what happened with millennials. It was like, you guys are entitled and you don't. And then, and then we're like, bitch, we've been going through way more shit than your boomer ass ever did. For real.

[Pete Holmes]

It's, it's a crazy thing that the technology is made by the previous generation. Even if they're basic technologies are then the reason why they blame the younger generation because they benefit from their innovations.

[Valerie]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

So even as simple as like in my day we had to go to the Nickelodeon. What's behind me?

[Valerie]

I'm. Well, I thought I saw the house cleaners.

[Pete Holmes]

It's the construction people.

[Valerie]

Hang on.

[Pete Holmes]

It's the construction. Our neighbors are doing construction. Which leads to a pretty interesting story.

[Valerie]

But yes, it does. I I let me just double check that they. Because I saw them pull up, but they're not here, the house cleaners. But I don't see them now and I won and I don't have the.

[Pete Holmes]

You're worried about them? Go ahead. You've probably seen me all over the Internet talking about Magic Mind because I'm absolutely obsessed and I drink it every single day and before every single episode of this podcast. Magic Mind is a functional blend of magical ingredients that help you feel dialed in, focused and energized. And I absolutely love it. They also have something that you might not know about though, which is called Magic Mind Sleep. I just updated my Magic Mind subscription to ship me a 30 day supply of magic mind every month and a 30 day supply of magic Mind Sleep because it helps me so much. It helps me fall asleep faster, stay asleep longer, and wake up feeling refreshed. And the ingredients are incredible. L Theanine. I used to just take L Theanine supplements.

[Valerie]

Kava.

[Pete Holmes]

I used to take a kava supplement 5 HTP. Okay. I used to take supplements for all of these. I had all these pills on my, like my countertop to fall asleep and now they're all in one place. Ashwagandha, lemon balm, lavender, magnesium glycinate, which is the right magnesium for sleep. Valerian it is Gaba. I mean, go get Magic Mind in your life to dial in and focus and also now to fall asleep at night. Right now, Magic Mind is hooking up weirdos with 20% off your first order. Get the original Magic Mind or maybe the free or maybe the max, depending on how much caffeine you like in your life. And get Magic Mind Sleep. Just go to magicmind.com weird and use promo code weird at checkout. You know how some clothes just quietly become your favorites? You don't really plan it, you just keep reaching for them. That's been my experience with quints. They make really great, well made essentials that somehow end up just being the things you wear all of the time. Like I got one of their Mongolian cashmere sweaters. Val insists I wear it on date nights. She always comments on it and it feels great. It's soft and comfortable and fits with basically everything, works with everything. And that for summer, Quint has a hundred percent European linen shirts and pants starting at just 34 bucks, which is a great deal. They're breathable, easy to wear and perfect for when it's hot out. And their tees are super soft and their lightweight cotton sweaters are ideal when the temperature drops a little at night night like it does here in California. What I also love is that Quint's is priced really great. It's like 80%, sometimes 50 to 80% less than similar brands by working directly with ethical factories that cut out the middlemen. So you are paying for exceptional quality, not brand markup. And it's not just clothing. They do home goods, travel essentials and everyday stuff that feels a little elevated without being ridiculously expensive. So make your summer wardrobe easier and better. Go to quince.com weirdo for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U-I-N-C-E.com weirdo for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com weirdo we talk a lot about the meaning of life on this podcast, but the truth is if I get a terrible night's sleep, I'm not just saying this. I'm like maybe, maybe it means nothing. Sleep is so important. This podcast is sponsored by our friends at Casper. We've slept on a Casper mattress for years, long before they sponsored the podcast, so this is an easy one for me. In fact, Casper pillows have recently come into our lives and also upgraded our sleep game. Yeah, I'll say that Val and I love it and we're huge fans of everything they do. They make reliable high quality mattresses designed to deliver consistent comfortable sleep night after night. Their mattresses are highly rated by Consumer Reports and out of 99 mattresses Consumer Reports named Casper's the 1 Mattress, their top rated all foam mattress of 2026. What I like is they make mattresses for all kinds of sleepers. If you like firm, soft or somewhere in between, they've got options. They are also built to last so you're not replacing your mattress every few years. It's also fun to open a box with a mattress and watch it expand. It's like an 80s foam toy, it just unfolds in front of your eyes. And Casper offers a hundred night risk free trial so you can try it out for yourself. Although with more than 110,000 five star reviews. I'm pretty sure you're gonna love it like we do, so. Plus, they just launched a brand new kids mattress, so even the youngest sleepers in your family can get the same comfort and quality right now. Save up to 30% on mattresses and up to 35% off on everything else. When you go to Casper.com, try the pillows. 35% off on the best pillows in the world. Casper.com one last time. That's C-P-E-R.com and save up to 30% on the mattress. You deserve

[Valerie]

it. Sort of smells like breath in here. Like morning breath.

[Pete Holmes]

I hate that this is my area.

[Valerie]

Oh, all right.

[Pete Holmes]

We're gonna come back. Because I was like, that's a fine place for the mid roll. So that was the break.

[Valerie]

Oh, great.

[Pete Holmes]

And now we're gonna come back.

[Valerie]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

All right. So that does. We're back. Val, unlock the door. The cleaners are going to come in. Don't worry about it.

[Valerie]

Don't worry.

[Pete Holmes]

Don't think.

[Valerie]

It all got results.

[Pete Holmes]

In fact, isn't it nice? There's so much life that you have nothing to do with and it's working out just fine.

[Valerie]

Yeah, totally.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, you have some stuff you have to do today. It's not my stuff. You're gonna do it. Yeah, that's nice to think about.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You get set like you. You go and do your little to do list. You're not little. I'm just saying you do the stuff you have to do. I'm gonna take a moment to feel the satisfaction that you're doing what you need to do.

[Valerie]

Are you talking about to me?

[Pete Holmes]

No, no, no. The people listening.

[Valerie]

Oh, y.

[Pete Holmes]

Some guy named Scott. He's got to go to the post office today. You know that good feeling you get? You did it.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Registered mail. Got the insurance, mailed it off. Then he gets the good feeling. Why can't I have some of that good feeling? He did it. That package had to be somewhere. I don't know the details, but can't I just be like, great. And there's a hundred million things like that happening every second. There's somebody that was really hungry and got a falafel. That's great.

[Valerie]

I don't get to feel that satisfaction.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't. I'm not welcome to that.

[Valerie]

I am.

[Pete Holmes]

If I think about it, he was so hungry, he was on the subway and it got stuck under the river. And now he got out and he went to Mamoons. No line. This is great.

[Valerie]

I Don't get the joy.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't get anything. That's the funniest part, because you have great comedy stinks.

[Valerie]

Thank you. That's short for instincts. That's right. Wait, what was the thing that you were gonna say that was gonna light me up?

[Pete Holmes]

I wanna be like, oh, it's summer and I'm fucking done. I'm fucking done. Get the fuck out of my face, dude. I'm summer now. People keep emailing me like, it's not the summer. People text me like, it's not the summer. Like, hey, I was following up on that. Yeah, keep following up till September 1st because it's fucking summer.

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And I feel it in. I hate when people say every cell. I do a lot of breath work and meditations and they always go, relax every cell of your body. I'm like, bitch, I don't have control over your cell. I don't have that. I can't think of control of the cells. You think every cell. How about my jaw? Yeah, that's a good one.

[Valerie]

Give me something I can actually do every cell.

[Pete Holmes]

There's one breath work that I do. Where he runs, he's doing. It's like a guided meditation. And let me see if I can make you understand this. I really love it. It's on other ship. It's called High Frequency Energy. It's led by a great guy named. Great guy. Great guy named Kyle. But there's a part where he's leading this breath work and he's running out of air. He can't quite. No, it's not. I don't think anyone would think it's funny. But he goes, feel the energy going all up, all up your spinal cord. And he kind of runs out all up your back, all up your spinal cord. It reminds me somehow of when you were young and you tried to do things like that. Like you tried to lead, like asleep, but there's something goes wrong and you weren't ready.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And he goes, it goes all up, all up your spinal card. You can't quite get it out.

[Valerie]

You shouldn't be doing the breath the of work while he's instructing, bro.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, he's not.

[Valerie]

Okay. But there's this runs out of breath.

[Pete Holmes]

It also just reminds me of like. Like blood rushing down. Like when. When you're young and you do all those like, ASMR adjacent.

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

But there always be like a moment where there's like, oh, you're having a hard time doing this.

[Valerie]

Yes. You know what it is?

[Pete Holmes]

I can't believe you understand what I'm trying to say?

[Valerie]

No, I know what you mean, but it. 100%.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I do believe. I can't believe it.

[Valerie]

It's the equivalent of. And this is a Mulaney bit, but the equivalent of running out of room.

[Pete Holmes]

Big ass B.

[Valerie]

To go down.

[Pete Holmes]

Big ass B.

[Valerie]

Yes. Big ass B. Exactly. This is the equivalent.

[Pete Holmes]

It gives me this incredibly unique sensation that is like realizing you don't have any class today. Like, it's Tuesday. Yeah, it's summer, but it's like you forgot and you thought you had class. And, like, what?

[Valerie]

You.

[Pete Holmes]

You, like, introduce a bubble of relief, and it's just so wonderful. And I wish everybody could find. And I hope that you can and will. Look, people are getting falafels out there.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You can find your right person. I just tried to explain that. A breathwork foible. I didn't even explain it well. And you're absolutely right. It is exactly like making a happy birthday sign and running out of room.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's exactly like making a happy birthday sign and running out of. At a room.

[Valerie]

Yeah. It's very endearing, too.

[Pete Holmes]

It's sweet. I don't laugh at him, but I'm like, this makes me feel like junior high. All up your spine. Up. All up your spinal cord.

[Valerie]

It's so hard that you, like, you can't do it intentionally. But we've all done it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's also in. It's sold in the same store as a nerdy person or dorky person. I don't know why whale dick is better than just saying they're kind of nerdy. Let's just say nerdy. A nerdy person trying to flirt. And it. Like he's trying to put his elbow on the bar table and it slips off.

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

It's just like you're trying to be slick. You're trying to have ownership over my relaxation, and you can't even. Your voice is fucked up.

[Valerie]

And literally your breath.

[Pete Holmes]

Your literal breath.

[Valerie]

And you run out of.

[Pete Holmes]

And you run out. There's a lot of mistakes.

[Valerie]

So funny.

[Pete Holmes]

I think some of the other ship breathworks are from live recordings because they sometimes make mistakes.

[Valerie]

Yeah. Yeah, totally.

[Pete Holmes]

It makes me laugh.

[Valerie]

I love mistakes like that. I mean, I. It's. And the. The more people are trying to be professional, the funnier the mistake is.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

Thank.

[Pete Holmes]

That's also it. He's in a place of quiet authority. Like leading a prayer.

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Or leading a meditation. Like a breath work. And he up. That's so funny.

[Valerie]

We've Told the thing about my brother's story about the sand. Sandbox thing when he typed the wrong word.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know.

[Valerie]

I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

I think maybe you have. But I love it every time.

[Valerie]

It's the perfect example of this. Because my.

[Pete Holmes]

Because he's in authority.

[Valerie]

Yes. And then, you know, we have the added layer of, like, the closer you are to the person, the funnier it is when they make mistakes. I don't know if everybody has that, but I have it where you love them, but. But I love it more if I'm very close to the person. I don't know what that is. Is. I don't know why, but it's like,

[Pete Holmes]

it's safe, I guess.

[Valerie]

There's, like, intimacy, and it's sort of like I know their whole. Their, like, range. Like, if somebody that you don't know makes a mistake like, that, you're like, I don't know. I don't know if you're like that and if you're always. But like, I know this person.

[Pete Holmes]

It's the same with watching someone trip or. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. Do they have vertigo?

[Valerie]

Yeah, it's.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm not trying to be. It's like, literally, like, is this, like, a big issue? Is most of their day just tripping? Like, if my mom falls, she's old lady. It's sad.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

If I fall, pretty funny.

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

But.

[Valerie]

But my people, for whatever reason, some, like, a reason unbeknownst to me, people that I'm close with, making a mistake is the. Is the quickest way to get me to die laughing. And my brother was leading a training at his job on Zoom to all these professors. He used to have a job where he, like, trained professors in the. Like, he worked at the. In a. In the tech department of a college. And so it's like all these professors, and he's trying to train them how to use this software. And so they. He's shared his screen on Zoom, and he types in the search box. He's like, so I'm just gonna go to the search box here, and I'm gonna type the. The thing that they were looking for was called Sandbox. He's like, and I'm going to type sandbox. And he's, like, typing it as he. He's saying the word sandbox. But what he types is sandwich.

[Pete Holmes]

It's.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

It.

[Valerie]

It's so simple.

[Pete Holmes]

It's so simple.

[Valerie]

And that's the funniest thing.

[Pete Holmes]

And then he goes, oh, I must be Hungry.

[Valerie]

Yeah. It must be getting close to lunchtime. Like, trying to save it because people

[Pete Holmes]

that are in charge are just some person.

[Valerie]

Exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

That's what's funny about that. I told you about when I used to do the offertory prayer. So we would sing Praise God from whom all blessings flow. I tried to. No, I was doing it for you.

[Valerie]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Praise him. We won't do it. It'll give people douche chills.

[Valerie]

Okay. Does it?

[Pete Holmes]

I actually like that song.

[Valerie]

Well, I just mean, like. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Praise him all creatures here below Praise him above the heavenly hosts now we're getting into some serious duality. Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Sure.

[Valerie]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. Yes.

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Valerie]

I mean, I actually like it. Singing it being like, yes, the. Let these words seep into every cell of your body.

[Pete Holmes]

Every cell of your body. Relax every cell. It's also like, he's kind of being sexy. He's like, relax your jaw. Like, it's like there's a little sexy breath work is a little sex.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like filling you up. Up. Holding it, squeezing it. It's like. That's what they say.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm just realizing, like, am I a straight woman? Because I want to be filled and squeeze it.

[Valerie]

Squeeze what, though?

[Pete Holmes]

The dick.

[Valerie]

You squeeze the dick?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. A little grip on it. Put a little minge on it. It's from. That's from extras. Because. Come on, love. Put a little minge on it.

[Valerie]

I hate that.

[Pete Holmes]

It's supposed to be awful. Yeah, of course it's supposed to be awful.

[Valerie]

Terrible.

[Pete Holmes]

She's on a date with a extra is a great show, too. She's on a date with a really great seeming guy. And then when they have sex, that's the only thing he says. It's fucking awful.

[Valerie]

Like, wait, he says it over and over.

[Pete Holmes]

No, he just says it once. Like, it's just like he's complaining about the tightness or something. Or like that she's not giving enough. This is gross.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

I hate those. But that's one of the things that show's great at. It's like, surely someone in the writers room. That was their story.

[Valerie]

Yeah, totally.

[Pete Holmes]

And then they got to alchemize it and turn into a really funny thing.

[Valerie]

Any who's horrify us all and horrify us all. Yeah. Breath work. Sexy. There's something. Who can. Who can remember?

[Pete Holmes]

They just rang the bell. But they're just going to come in.

[Valerie]

Yeah, they'll just come in.

[Pete Holmes]

It's summer.

[Valerie]

It's summer, babies.

[Pete Holmes]

It's summer. Give me a Coke on ice. Give me a hot dog. I want roller skates. I'm not going to do any of this, but, like, that's. I want a beach towel. I don't want a regular towel. Beach towel.

[Valerie]

Beach towel.

[Pete Holmes]

Huge. Or as I call them, towels. Oh, they're the right size for me. I like a beach. I'm a beach. Call me a beach.

[Valerie]

A beach. I'm really. I. I love living in where we live during the summer. It makes so much sense. It feels like a summer camp. It's like we go to the river, we go to the beach. We're like, yeah, it's. It's like, you know, a great place for the Fourth of July. We have friends over in sw. Like, I'm just so excited about summer. And we're about to do our. Our east coast. Our east coast trip. We're going to.

[Pete Holmes]

In fact, when this comes out, we'll be doing that.

[Valerie]

Yeah, we'll be. We'll be on it. And we're coming for you North.

[Pete Holmes]

Share that.

[Valerie]

Oh, yeah, share that.

[Pete Holmes]

What do you got?

[Valerie]

No, that's fine.

[Pete Holmes]

I had a really beautiful therapy session. Why am I doing it this way?

[Valerie]

I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

Just trying. I'm trying to think of how to begin it, and I'm making sure for real. I didn't interrupt you.

[Valerie]

No, no.

[Pete Holmes]

It's just like, as a child, I was often looking for. And again, I do want to say I love my parents. They did a great job. And I remember, like, just yearning for a deeper, sometimes deeper reciprocity sometimes with my father, who, again, did an amazing job. But I remember I'm a talker. I'm like, what we're doing right now, I love it, like, jamming and vibing. And that's why I typically had a lot of girlfriends, lady friends, and why I was very close with my mom. And again, my dad did better than his previous generation. Everybody's moving the ball forward. That's. That's all I'm gonna say to just let it done. Yeah, but it's real. It's let everybody off the hook. Everybody's stone cold innocent. Yeah, But I remember sitting in the Winnebago, we. We had this Winnebago. I think we owned it. I don't know. And we would drive and go on these family trips, and sometimes I would sit in the pilot seat, like, the shotgun seat, and it just, like, quietly meant a lot to me that my dad was always driving, and I would sit shotgun. And I remember there was this part of the lining of The. There was this piece in between us that would get hot from the engine and my feet would get cold and I would put my feet on the little hot thing. I would just sit there. And it was when I feel like I'm John Updike right now. I'm just saying, like, I would get. Not that I'm being that eloquent, but like, it's this memory of. That was how my dad would sort of open up to me because it was these long drives. It was mostly just like he would listen to Bob Seeger and I would see him cry or like, get emotional. Not cry, but get emotional and talk about how Bob Seeger's dad was a poet. And, like, it was like as kind of close as I got to, like, a real glimpse because he was. I'm not saying he was road hypnotized, but, you know, letting go. And I was just kind of sitting there. It wasn't ping pong and back and forth, but it was this connection. Him letting you in a little bit. Yeah. And my dad, again, one more disclaimer did let me in in the ways that he let me in. And thank you, Dad. I love you. Anyway, I'm just saying.

[Valerie]

What's a podcast? PETA.

[Pete Holmes]

I was on my ass.

[Valerie]

It's the radio, isn't it?

[Pete Holmes]

I accidentally clicked on. You made it weird. And I picked. We made it weird. Number two for whatever it is. I listened for the first 42 minutes and then he started talking about me being like, no, it's a great.

[Valerie]

It just would never happen. Yeah, dear listener, that would never happen.

[Pete Holmes]

And trust me, dear listener, that will never happen. But even if it did, I've been pretty clear anyway, what I work in, in so much of my therapy, and I hope this is valuable, and trust that it is to some of you is like just going to those parts that were so desperate and so, like, equated their safety with, like, being folded into something that might not have been easy to be folded into to. Like, you just kind of maybe felt on the outside or maybe a little invisible or whatever it might have been.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And that is the word. It was like I was kind of like, am I here? Like, am I. Am I in this group? Am I being folded in? And what I did was I talked to that part and was like that. That inner child, you could say. And I was just like, I let me drive the Winnebago. It just came out like this really authentic. Sometimes we're doing, like I told the story of when I said, it's Exhausting. Thinking so little of people every once in a while, like this really true. Like your unconscious is speaking. And in this moment, I was speaking to my unconscious and I was like, I know that that might have felt a little weird and you might have wanted more. You might have wanted more depth, connection, witnessing, holding. And I was like, and this is all the therapy is. This is all internal family systems is going to let me drive. I'll drive you around and we can honor that. That might not have been what you wanted. You know, it might be a little disappointing.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But I went on and again, I know AI complicated, but like, I went on ChatGPT, I uploaded a picture of me when I was about nine and a picture of me now. And I said, can you make a picture of me driving this kid in a Winnebago with his sock feet up on the dash? And I showed it to Valerie and she just started crying. It's up on my wall.

[Valerie]

Bear it. It's so sweet, you guys.

[Pete Holmes]

And this, it's incredibly sweet. Go ahead, please.

[Valerie]

Well, I. This picture of you as a kid, it's just. Oh, I can't even really look at it and talk about it at the same time. It's just so. It's the picture that you. Isn't it the picture you see quota.

[Pete Holmes]

It's the production card for crashing. Yeah.

[Valerie]

Because it just is this like pure childhood joy. And then like they made the picture of you. Well, I guess you made that. Sure. The grown up picture is just so. It's, it's the same.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like, well, I found a picture where our smiles are similar.

[Valerie]

The picture, the smile is similar. But there is this like, knowing, like, you know, it's just.

[Pete Holmes]

No, he looks like a dad.

[Valerie]

He looks like a dad. And he's like. It's the same smile, but without the, like the childhood naivete, I guess.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes, it's the same smile that's been

[Valerie]

seasoned and deepened and it's just.

[Pete Holmes]

Look, it's too much. Both hands are on the wheel. I'm looking forward. The kid's got his feet on the dash. And I'm just like, that's. That's therapy. That is therapy. It's going to your wounds and saying, I have you now. Yeah, like, and even going like, I know maybe I'm not the person you were hoping, but this is what it is and it's great.

[Valerie]

And that is a big part of

[Pete Holmes]

it, speaking to the unconscious in the ways that it understands, which is images. So I've made that the wallpaper on my right here on the computer.

[Valerie]

Aw, it's so sweet. I can't handle it.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

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[Pete Holmes]

Study and play come together on a Windows 11 PC and for a limited time, college students get the best of both worlds. Get the unreal college deal Everything you need to study and play with select Windows 11 PCs. Eligible students get a year of Microsoft 365 Premium and a year of Xbox Game Pass ultimate with a custom color Xbox wireless controller. Learn [e-mail] student offer while supplies last ends June 30 [e-mail] we gather here

[Valerie]

tonight to bring women back to their rightful place. The Testaments a new Hulu Original series from the executive producers of the Handmaid's Tale. It's easier to accept a story than

[Pete Holmes]

believe that the people around you are monsters.

[Valerie]

The battle isn't over. There comes a time when you have to take action, when you have to choose your own destiny.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

Never

[Valerie]

watch the new Hulu Original series the Testaments, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers. Terms apply. And it's so Sweet.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, and I feel it massaging that point in. It's like, it's okay, I'll drive it. Like, look at. We talk about this all the time, but look at the resources, look at the family, look at the love, look at the honesty, look at the sharing. And every generation is doing a little bit better. We don't have to. To have malice or bitterness. It's just like, this is what it is. But please trust me, I'm driving us now. And I said this to him. I was like, we have a lot of the same interests. Like, we can go to fun spot in Vermont, which is an arcade. I want to go too.

[Valerie]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, I will not be rushed. Like, we can spend the whole day there.

[Valerie]

Totally. Well, I mean, it really is therapy. I think that's the whole point is, you know, when we are reactive or dysregulated, it's. It's so often is because we are identified with our child self. And our limbic brain doesn't know time. And it. So it thinks that we are still relying on other adults for our. Our, you know, our salvation and our survival.

[Pete Holmes]

So. Right.

[Valerie]

And the whole thing is as just,

[Pete Holmes]

I'm an adult you.

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

You saying as your adult self to your child self, I've got you. I've got you. Until your child self believes that. And then. And even the act of saying like, I got you. And I remember doing this in the early days of therapy and just being like, she doesn't believe me.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, we have to push through that too.

[Valerie]

She doesn't believe me. And it's like, okay, that's fine. My therapist is so great. Jennifer Murdoch. I love her so much. And her just being like, yeah, it's fine. We'll just keep showing up for her. Like, we'll just prove it by, yeah,

[Pete Holmes]

sometimes showing up numb or there's like a static or a song will start playing in my head and. And my therapist will be like, oh, it sounds like there's a protector that's trying to stop you from talking to this part.

[Valerie]

Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

And she's like, can we just. And then, you know, we just go like, I'm not trying to hurt or take anything away. I. I just want you to experience less pain. I want to make your life easier. I'm not here to change or stop anything. And like, can you. You say to like, the numbness, Will you just sit next to me? Like, you can stay, but will you just sit next to me while I talk to this part? And then again, I always like to joke. This is $10,000 worth of free therapy. Yeah, but it is just saying, finding the wound, the sadness, the fear, and going like, look at me now, please. Just look at me now.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's just. I'm like, Well, I am 47. I'm nine. I'm about the age. I think. I'm not here to do math, but I'm about the age that my father was probably. And it's like, you and I can have. I know what you need. Yes, I understand you.

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Let me witness you. Let me see you. And then, like, fun spot or the arcade is just a metaphor for like. Like, we can be safe and we can be free and we can hold each other and see each other. I know maybe this sounds very west coast and new agey, but it's. It's very. I have a friend who does internal family systems. I think you need a therapist. That would be my number one recommendation. Yeah, I think they do see a therapist, but they also do it on their own. And they just. It's just you. You start. Start feeling your body, feeling inside your body, finding a feeling like a sensation and being like, what it. What are you trying to say? Who are you? What are you? How old are you? Yeah, and it's. And I don't do. Make them ups. If I don't see it, I don't say it. I don't perform or anything. And I'm shocked at how much these things show up. And it'll show you a flash of something, like, just an image of your past, and you're like. Like, oh, my God. And you can talk about it for three hours. Like, it's like the wisdom of your unconscious. If you give it the stage.

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And then it can be tricky for it to see you. You start by seeing it and being like, I see that. I understand that, and I understand why we are the way we are and how that's been useful to us. And it takes a lot of that. I sometimes feel like it's like feeding a. A stray cat. Like, you put out the. The cream, but it doesn't trust you. And you go, you know, whatever you need to do, or you back away, you sit down, and you sit really still.

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And then the cat comes and drinks, and you don't pounce. Like, I'm so glad you're here.

[Valerie]

You.

[Pete Holmes]

You have to be like, yeah, it's okay. Just drink some cream. And then, like, slowly the cat goes, who gave me this cream? Who gave me this understanding? Who gave me this space? And then you can go, like. Can you. Can you see how old I am? Can you see how I'm sort of grateful that I am a big person? Because I'm like, do you see how big I am? It's not about physical size. It's just kind of like, look, I'm a grownup, and there are parts that don't believe it.

[Valerie]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I can't. It's such a weird thing. But I'm like, you don't know. Just look at my. It's funny, the outfits I pick. I often dress up a little bit. Like, I'll be wearing something that's casual. But, like, look, I'm a man. I'm a grown man. Like, I'm not going in my PJs to meet my inner children. I'm going in, like, something I would wear on Kimmel.

[Valerie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something tasteful but casual to get custody of these kids.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Valerie]

And you're like, this matter. Or it's like, Leila just got her.

[Pete Holmes]

You're exactly going in front of the judge, which is the protector. The kid is on the stand, and you're dressed in. In a way that's casual but together to say, I can take this child. He can come with me.

[Valerie]

And this is, like, official, and there's safety in it. It also makes me think of Leela just got her yellow belt in kung fu. And our friend Sifu John, the teacher of the. Of kung Fu, him and the other instructor wore a special shirt just for the testing.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

And, like, she was the only one that was testing. So I was, like, so moved. Like, I was like, these men put on their special shirt just for her.

[Pete Holmes]

I know.

[Valerie]

To test. And it's like this beautiful, like, mutual respect. And it's saying, like, you earned this because you showed up for this class, and so we're gonna show up for you. And it's like. It's like, I could totally cry. It's like such a sweet adult child relationship. Yeah. You know, like this. It's like, that's what reciprocity looks like.

[Pete Holmes]

Yep. In fact. And I'm not forcing this. And I know we're out. We're out of time here, but, like, we have no time in the summer.

[Valerie]

Like, now. We hate the summer. Like, we just can't.

[Pete Holmes]

There's a memory. I went to Cambridge friend school, which is actually closing. It's a great school. And they had something called Mayfair. It's kind of like the Maypole thing. And I remember my father in the 80s dressed up as a clown.

[Valerie]

Really?

[Pete Holmes]

Put on a red Afro.

[Valerie]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

The full classic clown makeup. And there's. I wish I could find this picture. I bet I could. There's this picture of him smiling huge, like. Like the kid in that picture. And, like, how much it meant to me that my dad would. And this is my point, by the way.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

The more I give bowls of cream to these cats.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

The more they'll go, okay, we can remember that dad dressed up as a clown and how much that meant for me. Meant to me.

[Valerie]

That's right.

[Pete Holmes]

And, like, I don't make the rules. It would be great to just jump over the disappointments or the hurts or whatever and just go to. Straight to gratitude. But I'm saying for me, and I think millions of other people, that's not how it works.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I think you have to honor their fear and their sadness first. And then it's like. It's like the cat brings you. The metaphor sort of falls apart, but it brings you a memory.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It goes like, now that you've seen me, I'll let us see this. Because otherwise, it's just old child programming of forcing yourself to only go.

[Valerie]

That's right.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I cried when I had no shoes Till I met the man with no feet. What are you gonna do? It is what it is. Other people had it worse. And then it's like, no, that's not how your feelings work.

[Valerie]

Yeah, that's you. You.

[Pete Holmes]

You look at this first, and then I'll give you this.

[Valerie]

That's toxic positivity. That's exactly what toxic positivity is. Is like, just go straight to the positive. And it's like, there's no. There's. It's not real. It's. It's pretend. If I can't. If I can't also look at the pain.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like a shirt made out of masking tape.

[Valerie]

Yeah, right.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a shirt. Like, it's sticking to you and see through. That's a shirt.

[Valerie]

It's like, why don't we just sit down and sew this thing?

[Pete Holmes]

And I don't like that. It's a West coast hippie cliche that you would, like, process and feel your feelings. I'm from Boston, for fuck's sake. Like, the move. But, you know, there are people in your family that do the same thing. Don't open that can of worms. Don't look at it. It'll kill you. That's. I mean, that's in internal family systems language. That's a protector. That's going this will kill us. And then you go, can we just look at a little bit of it?

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And the rewards of that.

[Valerie]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

Aren't just a full 3D awareness of your trauma. It's a full 3D awareness of what you're grateful for.

[Valerie]

It's everything.

[Pete Holmes]

It's. Dad is a clown.

[Valerie]

It also.

[Pete Holmes]

I haven't thought about that in years.

[Valerie]

Yeah. I've never heard you say that. I didn't know that.

[Pete Holmes]

It's probably been 10 years since I've thought about that. Because they were like, no, it's like locked levels in a video game. You have to do the first island in GTA before the bridge opens up.

[Valerie]

Well. And not to be, you know, even more west coast hippie about it, but this is like the truest thing that I found, and this is a perfect example of that, is you can't actually lock out exile the bad and keep the good. If you are exiling anything, you're exiling all of it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

So if you want to experience the, you know, intense joy of being like, it's summer, and you get to, like, feel that fully, then you have to also be willing to feel fully the depths of your despair.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Valerie]

Like, that's. They just. It's a package deal. This is. This is how this reality works.

[Pete Holmes]

And that helped me sleep last night, remember? So we drove home from Largo last night, and we usually have these, like, good late night conversations where they have to be interesting enough to keep us awake.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And we came back to thank you for everything. I know. I say, yes, thank you. Rupert Spira says, thank you for everything is. If you had that as a practice, it would be enough. And I was like, oh, there's areas in my life that I haven't been applying that to. And one of them is fear. Like, I'll be afraid of something. And you're not saying thank you for the thing you're afraid of to happen. Like, it hasn't happened. You just go, thank you for this fear. It's like. Like that. That broke my brain and it helped me sleep. I would wake up and I'm obviously replaying things I said at the show, like, why did I say that? Why did I do that? Or that could have been funnier. That was too much of a share, like, what's wrong with me? Or whatever. And I just go, oh, beautiful.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Thank you. Thank you for all of this. It's so alive.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So alive. And that's the same thing with this, with these traumas and these fears. And these un. Inconvenient inside parts, they're not inconvenient, but we're afraid of them.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You go into them and you're like this. This really is sensation. This is life. This is the opposite of being gray.

[Valerie]

And yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Falling asleep and looking out the window like you're really digging. Like, I don't know, I feel really resourced and happy right now, but I'm like, everything. Even bad feelings can be, like, held. And even you can even be grateful for them.

[Valerie]

Well, that is the ultimate freedom that's on the other side is when you are telling yourself, I will die if I look at this. And then you actually do look at it and you don't die.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. So you must not be who you thought you were. That's what Ramda said.

[Valerie]

And you just go like, oh, I actually am not. I'm. I'm not fragile. I'm resilient. And that's freedom. Then I don't have anything to fear. And usually what comes from even on the other side of it is sort of less of a fear of death too, where you're like, all right, so death is just another thing that I think I can't face, right? But I know that I have been here before where I think I can't face something and I do it right? So that's just. Just add that to the list of things that I think I can't face and I will do.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Valerie]

You know?

[Pete Holmes]

Well, that's my, my, we're gonna wrap up here. But like, I love that we got really into the filet of the conversation right here in the end. But like, I still have old churchy feelings of like, God's gonna get me, he's gonna hurt me, he's mad at me. And it's been really interesting to be like, thank you for this. Thank you for everything. I'm a human being who had these parents, who had this church, who had this experience, who's an art, like making art. It gets messy, it gets weird, I get scared. I have big flare ups of hyper white hot confidence and certainty. And then I have little child boy feelings of like, but God hates me, right? And it's like, yep, yep. It's like reading a book. It's like reading a character in a book. And you're like, this character is rich. I relate to this character. I understand this character. Instead of just going like, why can't I be happy all the time or whatever, or why can't I be certain all the time? It's like that's that's not a good book, actually. No, it's a bad book.

[Valerie]

Yeah. Yeah, it's a bad book.

[Pete Holmes]

That's a bad book, baby.

[Valerie]

It's very. Yes, it's. We want the rich. The richness of this human life.

[Pete Holmes]

And luckily, I live with the living reminder of that. You're constantly just going, like, you can't just always be. You don't say perfect, but just, like, standing. And maybe you do say perfect.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Everything's fine. I'm wonderful. I have all the answers.

[Valerie]

We don't want that. It's just one color.

[Pete Holmes]

But I'm. It's so helpful to go. Thank you for everything. And I know some people because I feel this way, too. It's like, everything. There's these wars, all this, like. Like, slow down. Please slow down. I. I love that compassion. I have that. Those feelings, too. Let's just look at our own fear. Let's just start small.

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, locally, we don't have to go around and go like, I'm. This. This is good. This is good. All of that. I'm not talking about social action or protest or.

[Valerie]

No, we're not saying everything is you meant to be. Exactly the way that middle of the night. Don't do anything about it. But it's like, even that. It's like, okay, there's suffering and we. In. Part of it is that we need each other and that we alleviate each other's suffering. Like, thank you for that. Thank you. You know, like, thank you for the things that I don't see the full picture of even.

[Pete Holmes]

Right. And that pain as we always draws me into the arms of other people.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, it gives people an opportunity to hold me. Their pain gives me an opportunity to hold them. It's like Jack Kornfield. Cornfield said about living in a commune. It's like, sometimes it'll be my turn to carry the light while you're down. Sometimes it'll be your turn to carry the light for me when I'm. When I'm down.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And there's something like, I'm definitely guilty of that. Like, I just want to live in my Rapunzel castle and just be set and Ra Bell. A lot of references coming up today. But, like, he's like, the kingdom of heaven or whatever you want to call it is like more like a banquet table. And. And it's that brokenness that brings us. Literally hunger.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Brings you to the table.

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And then you're. Now you're sharing this meal.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

If we were all good that's sort of the perils of modern life. Postmating all your meals, watching every movie. Like, that's that isolation that people are talking about, and that's that nostalgia we have to going to Hollywood video and seeing a friend, and then you actually watch the movie together.

[Valerie]

Yeah, like, that's.

[Pete Holmes]

Again, going back to the optimism. I think we're finding more ways to do that.

[Valerie]

Yeah, absolutely. All right, everybody. There you go.

[Pete Holmes]

One final thing. Just kidding.

[Valerie]

We have to go pick up our kid and.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God, I have no time. Time.

[Valerie]

No, it's. I know. We.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, we just did the podcast.

[Valerie]

That's all we did. Yeah, I know. I was feeling this earlier.

[Pete Holmes]

Well. And at least it was a great podcast.

[Valerie]

Yeah, absolutely. All right, everyone. Well, until next time, keep it crispy.

[Pete Holmes]

It's mushrooms with me, Matty Mathison. You know what's better than thinking about dinner too hard? Not stop that and just choose mushrooms. Five minutes. Done. Dinner's that easy and you feel like a genius. It's not magic, it's mushrooms. Stop [e-mail] Starting a business can seem

[Valerie]

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