ATTACKED ON HALLOWEEN! -You Should Know Podcast-

Summary

Podcast Summary: You Should Know Podcast – "ATTACKED ON HALLOWEEN!"

Episode Details:

• Title: ATTACKED ON HALLOWEEN! - You Should Know Podcast
• Release Date: October 28, 2024
• Hosts: Peyton Hardin and Cameron Kennedy (Co-host)

Introduction In the "ATTACKED ON HALLOWEEN!" episode of the You Should Know Podcast, hosts Peyton Hardin and Cameron Kennedy dive into a night filled with spooky stories, hilarious Halloween mishaps, and interactive trivia. This special Halloween edition showcases their unique friendship, characterized by candid revelations and playful teasing.

---

1. Personal Halloween Experiences Peyton and Cameron kick off the episode by sharing their childhood Halloween experiences, highlighting awkward costumes and memorable party incidents.

• Cameron's Werewolf Costume Mishap ([10:18]):

  • Cameron: "I was staying outside the pool, sweating my dick off in a full burlap jumpsuit as a werewolf while other people were making out behind the house."
  • The duo laughs about Peyton’s over-the-top werewolf attire and how it didn’t match the party’s vibe.

• Trick-or-Treating Adventures ([12:04] - [15:04]):

  • Peyton: Describes his mother’s strict approach to Halloween candy, organizing it meticulously and discarding unsealed sweets.
  • Cameron: Recounts accompanying his mother trick-or-treating, dealing with limited candy and humorous family dynamics.

---

2. Fear and Phobias The hosts delve into their personal fears, adding a spooky twist to the conversation.

• Cameron's Fear of Ostriches ([43:16] - [44:34]):

  • Cameron: "They are fast as hell. 40 miles per hour, bro."
  • Discusses the terror he feels towards ostriches, imagining them as menacing creatures during Halloween.

• Peyton’s Unusual Injuries ([53:05] - [57:23]):

  • Peyton: Shares a story about his high school basketball coach being hit by a shot put, leading to severe injuries and his eventual passing.

---

3. Interactive Banter and Humor Peyton and Cameron engage in playful teasing and humorous exchanges throughout the episode.

• Tongue Scraper Incident ([59:23] - [63:17]):

  • Cameron: Admits to using Peyton’s tongue scraper, leading to a comical argument about hygiene and friendship boundaries.
  • Peyton: Jokes about the disrespect shown, emphasizing the importance of trust among friends.

• Moth Mystery ([38:00] - [38:58]):

  • Cameron: Notices a dead moth on Peyton’s bed frame, leading to a humorous yet exaggerated reaction about cleanliness and creepy sensations.

---

4. Halloween Trivia Challenge The hosts host a lively Halloween-themed trivia game, testing each other's knowledge on spooky traditions, movies, and myths.

• Trivia Questions ([74:16] - [87:00]):

  • Topics range from the origins of Halloween to mythical creatures like vampires and werewolves.
  • Notable Interaction:
    • Cameron: "I'm telling you, they're disgustingly fast."
    • Peyton: "Pepperoni pizza shows a pizza, shows what it's here for, and shows you're not here to play cheese pizza's ass."

• Trivia Highlights:

  • Question: "What is another name for a carved pumpkin?"
    • Answer: Jack O' Lantern.
  • Question: "In which country did Halloween originate?"
    • Answer: Ireland.
  • Question: "What supernatural creature is said to lose its powers if the coffin is filled with grains or seeds?"
    • Answer: Vampire.

---

5. Safety Tips and Closing Remarks As the episode wraps up, Peyton and Cameron share essential Halloween safety advice, blending humor with genuine concern.

• Candy Safety ([99:56] - [100:26]):

  • Peyton: "If you're drinking, enjoy the spirit of Halloween and be safe."
  • Emphasizes the importance of checking candy and avoiding unsafe practices like throwing rocks or eggs.

• Final Farewells ([100:26] - [101:17]):

  • Hosts encourage listeners to celebrate responsibly, enjoy festivities with family and friends, and stay vigilant throughout Halloween night.
  • Peyton: "Have a happy Halloween and we cannot wait to see you next week."
  • Cameron: "Don’t throw rocks at windows. Don't throw rocks. Just go enjoy the spirit of Halloween and be safe."

---

Conclusion The "ATTACKED ON HALLOWEEN!" episode of the You Should Know Podcast offers a blend of nostalgic storytelling, comedic exchanges, and interactive segments that capture the essence of Halloween. Peyton and Cameron's chemistry ensures an entertaining and engaging listening experience, making it a must-listen for fans and newcomers alike.

---

Notable Quotes:

1. Cameron on His Werewolf Costume:

   • “I was staying outside the pool, sweating my dick off in a full burlap jumpsuit as a werewolf while other people were making out behind the house.” ([10:18])

2. Peyton on Cleaning Halloween Candy:

   • “She made me dump it in the living room floor. And then I decided to, like, organize it. Like chocolate's here, candy's here. It was a bit much, but I'm a little strange.” ([13:08])

3. Cameron’s Fear of Ostriches:

   • “They are fast as hell. 40 miles per hour, bro.” ([43:16])

4. Humorous Banter About Tongue Scrapers:

   • Cameron: “I used your toothbrush.”
   • Peyton: “You son of a bitch. You didn't clean it before you used it.” ([59:23])

5. Halloween Trivia Interaction:

   • Cameron: “Pepperoni shows that it's pizza,”
   • Peyton: “Pepperoni pizza shows a pizza, shows what it's here for, and shows you're not here to play cheese pizza's ass.” ([85:35])

6. Safety Reminder:

   • “If you’re drinking, enjoy the spirit of Halloween and be safe.” ([99:56])

---

Final Thoughts This Halloween special episode effectively combines personal anecdotes with entertaining banter and trivia, all while delivering important safety messages. Peyton and Cameron’s dynamic interactions provide both laughs and relatable content, making "ATTACKED ON HALLOWEEN!" a standout episode in the You Should Know Podcast series.

Transcript

[A]

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Nosferatu we did R under 17 nanometer without parent only in theaters Christmas Day Special engagements in Dolby and Imax. The you Should Know Podcast hey everybody, welcome back to you Should Know podcast episode 136. The Halloween episode. Round of applause please. Hey everybody, welcome Back to the Isha Know podcast episode 136. If you are new here, or if you haven't already and you look below, you see that subscribe button isn't pressed, you're wrong. If you look even more below that and you see that comment section isn't fulfilled with your name, guess what? Even more wrong. Go ahead and fill that out. Get your good karma. This is the third installment of a YSK Halloween. We hope that you're all wearing costumes with us. If you're not, go ahead and get in your closet and put one on. We got editor C.J. as a baby. Look at that. We got Mama Liv as a cowboy, a pregnant cowboy. And we got little baby Woobie as a pumpkin. We love Halloween over here at ysk. And we have a merch drop coming for y'all on Black Friday. If you want a sneak peek at that whenever it comes, make sure you join the patreon. Make sure you're you're joining us on Facebook. A lot more content is coming up on there soon. Discord the Watch Party. If you want to have people to talk about the you should know podcast with the Discord is perfect for that. And then Twitch streams are coming back up. We're about to have a fun, rambunctious time here for the Halloween episode. We love y'all. We love y'all. We love y'all so much. And we're on the road to 1 million subscribers. So make sure you share this podcast with everybody you love. Now on to the rest of the episode. Hello everyone. This episode is brought to you by Manscaped, the global leader in men's Lifestyle and grooming. Every man knows the unbeatable feeling of a fresh barbershop shave. Now, what if I told you that you no longer have to wait weeks or even months between appointments to experience it?

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Manscape.Com now on to the rest of the episode, the you should know podcast. I'm Mermaid man, but I need my Barnacle Boy. We got co host Cam, AKA Barnacle Boy, back in the studio. You look.

[A]

You look a water bottle.

[B]

Mermaid man and Barnacle boy unite.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Wow, Cam.

[A]

I'm essentially wearing underwear.

[B]

I'm not gonna lie. I think in the time that you put this costume on, since we got in the studio, I've seen your lower region, your extremities and your sack of coins.

[A]

No. Yeah.

[B]

Four times.

[A]

No. Honest to God, I went to go pee in this. I almost got arrested. The security guard said, who are you? What are you doing? I said, hey, just trust me, man, at all. I'll be worth it. Give me about an hour and a half and I'll get back to being regular. He goes, if I see again, I'm putting you in cuffs. And I went, you know what? I can hold my piss. I'll hold it.

[B]

The thing about your costume, right, there's two things. There's two things. One, I am supremely and utterly surprised that that cap is still on your head.

[A]

No, I kind of wedged it down deep because it couldn't fit over my actual head. So I just kind of stuck it. It was like what I had to do with this one of my graduation caps. Oh, it's not going anywhere. It's not going anywhere. It is wedged into my flesh.

[B]

Second thing, you're looking you in the. Oh, in the eyes is terrifying. Look at the camera. Deadpan in the eyes. That is a scary sight.

[A]

Yeah. You know what's more scary? Let's talk about your skimpy little bra. And let's talk about your crooked ass star. Okay. Your scar is absolutely deformed. And I can't see your nose. And it makes me wonder if it's even there. Like, I know it's there, but it's hidden. And I see a lot of teeth, a lot of gums, so that's kind of frightening.

[B]

No, I have good gums.

[A]

Your velvet seashells that are covering your areolas, and your areolas only are so skimpy and small. It is unbelievable. And that m is huge.

[B]

Oh, you don't like my areolas?

[A]

Oh, I love your areolas. I hate them when they're covered by velvet seashells.

[B]

I'm not gonna lie. Okay. There was a girl in high school, right?

[A]

She had velvet.

[B]

No, no, no. She was talking about my nibs.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And she. I took my shirt off in front of her, right? We were at a pool party, which is very surprising for me.

[A]

You were at a party? They were in the pool. You were just like, I'm not gonna rub your feet either.

[B]

So I was. I was staying outside the pool, and much of us were. We're staying outside the pool while everybody else y'all were in the pool having fun, diving and drowning each other.

[A]

Like, ah, look at them.

[B]

Look at that.

[A]

This is so fun, right?

[B]

And so there's this girl that I was there. You know those vibes. Whenever you're trying to, like, court a girl and everything's exciting, she's never seen you shirtless. And so I tried to do the. Oh, my God. Ruby was drinking out of CJ's bottle talk. Oh, my God. So. So I was trying to do the movie esque thing of, like, slowly revealing my. My. My. My body, right? And she was, like, into it, okay? Up to, like, she. She was into it, into it, into it, into it until the shirt got above my nipples. And I cut the shirt over my head and I took it off and I flung it. I went like this and flung it. Her face, like, changed. Like, it's like everything sunk. And she goes, oh. And I said, oh, what?

[A]

Oh, what?

[B]

And she goes, you have really little nipples. Do you think I got little.

[A]

Do you have penny nipples? No, I think your nipples are great. They're like a small, little Abe Lincoln sitting on your chest.

[B]

You used to call them chocolate Chip Nips.

[A]

Yeah. I used to get ridiculed for about six years in my adolescence. And I was called Invisa Nips.

[B]

I don't think that was just adolescence, brother.

[A]

I'm still invisible.

[B]

In college, that's the first thing I noticed about you.

[A]

But I got them in adolescence. Not the nipples. I had those since birth. I got them making fun of.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

It was, I think, the same shit. We were at a pool one day and I was like, dude, I'm totally down to like, swim. You know? It's in my blood. It's in my DNA.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they went, what the. And I was like, what? They go, where's your nipples? I go, they're right here. And they go, no, no. Why are they translucent? And I was like, I don't know. So we both have strange nipples.

[B]

Apparently there's a guy in high school, he had one nipple right in the middle. Swear to you.

[A]

We had a guy that had three nipples. He had. Swear to OGs, and one right in the middle.

[B]

Do you think they could feel that?

[A]

I think his turned out to be some form of cancer, though. And it was like a. They thought it was an. Well, they. They thought it was a nipple.

[B]

My grandma had cancer.

[A]

It was. It was cancer. I think he got it chopped off. I think they think they took a real one and left in the middle.

[B]

Yeah. We're starting off high.

[A]

Oh, God. Speaking of starting off.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And this is very hot. Slash very. Not first off hot. I'm sweating like a son of a bitch.

[B]

Yeah. Your draw.

[A]

What the. Do that again. They didn't look that bit. You could fit. You and me in there. What the hell?

[B]

Like to.

[A]

We could try.

[B]

I would love that.

[A]

That. We'd have to go pole to pole or hold a hole.

[B]

Which would you prefer?

[A]

Pole to pole?

[B]

No, I wouldn't want to take your dignity like that.

[A]

You know, not all of us are blessed in that room. Back to the hot.

[B]

Or not.

[A]

And in the spirit of Halloween, first off, mermaid man. You're gorgeous. You look amazing, Barnacle boy. I'm trying my best.

[B]

You look like a crooked chef.

[A]

I look like. No, I look like an anime burglar. That's what I look like. I'm like, give me your cards. But we're fighting crime in Bikini Bottom.

[B]

Excuse me. Excuse me.

[A]

I'm so sorry. This takes me back to. So you've already heard my horror story where I went to the party and the parents for Halloween with your ex. No, no, no, no. This is like. This is like, okay, this is like seventh grade. And they were doing the skimpy games, and they played with the Ouija. And I said, I'm out of here.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Okay. The next year, same friend group. Okay. But this time he said, party's gonna be so different. It's just a real Halloween party. It is a costume party, right? I said, I'm game. Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hey, mom, can I use your card? I gotta go get an outfit. I show up to this party. This is eighth grade. Yeah, eighth grade Halloween. Everything's good. Of course. Boys like girls, Girls are liking boys.

[B]

That's the girls are liking girls.

[A]

Boys like boys.

[B]

Everybody likes everybody.

[A]

But I'm saying they're trying. They're trying for someone else, right?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I was trying for me, myself. And I. Okay. And I didn't get the cue.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Oh, if you can only guess, then yeah. So I go to Walmart, right? Let me get some of that fake blood. Let me get a hairy wolf mask. So let me buy some of those cargo pants. I go as a wolf. A werewolf. A man transformed a werewolf. I put brown marker on me to make dirt marks. I had dried blood all over my stuff. I fully committed. I show up. Guys are just shirtless. Talk about they're a lifeguard. Girls are in skimpy little cat outfits.

[B]

Yeah, they're bunnies.

[A]

Everyone's sexy. And I'm over here.

[B]

And everyone else.

[A]

Is just taking shots of fireball. I'm sipping out of a great value water bot, sweating my dick off in a full burlap jumpsuit as a werewolf while other people are making out by behind the house. Yo, that's so you. I was a girl repellent. I just didn't catch the cues.

[B]

What was your initial feeling when you walked into that party and you saw you weren't with the same dress code?

[A]

I was about to leave. I literally was like, this isn't for me.

[B]

Sad wolf.

[A]

They were like, who the is? And I was like, oh, it's me. I was like, it's Cam. I'm here, brother. Like, what the heck? I'm talking. Guys were lifeguards. Yeah, guys were construction workers. They had the vest.

[B]

No firemen.

[A]

Everyone's just showing off their adolescent six packs. Before any. I was just chubby and dressed as a wolf.

[B]

No nipples.

[A]

I smelled like ass. I had translucent nipples, and I literally had blood from head to toe. And I thought I was killing that.

[B]

So funny.

[A]

Other people left getting their first kiss, getting their first kiss with a new girl. I left trying a Candied apple for the first time. And that was the highlight of my life.

[B]

That's why people liked you, though.

[A]

I think it is, because you were so.

[B]

Yeah, you're so, like, green. Yeah. You just didn't care about anything. You weren't with the social norms at all. At all.

[A]

They're like, hey, bring something to the potluck. They're bringing liquor, little chasers. I'm like, here's a meatloaf. I'm like, y'all ready to party?

[B]

Lisa made it. It's great. I eat it every Wednesday. Oh, my God, bro, Do you have any, like, I have some weird Halloween stories too.

[A]

Oh, my God. Can you please tell them?

[B]

I've told them on previous Halloween episodes how my neighbor that got raided by the FBI, he was selling edibles to kids. Right. We're not selling them. He's generally just giving them away.

[A]

Oh, that's so bad. I've checked your kids candy.

[B]

Check your kids candy. Honestly, f the story. Did your mom let you eat the candy you trick or treated in?

[A]

She made me dump it in the living room floor.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I. My ocd. I decided to, like, organize it. Like, chocolate's here, candy's here. It was a bit much, but I'm a little strange. Yeah. But she would look at scan through it. She never let me eat the gold coins. Never once. I never got to eat a gold coin.

[B]

Why not the gold coins?

[A]

Because they always looked flimsy. Wrapper. And it could be something else. That could be inedible. It could be psyche laced.

[B]

I don't. Oh, it's too easy to infiltrate. Yeah, infiltrate.

[A]

She let me eat name brand chocolates that were clearly sealed. And then the gummies.

[B]

I barely got to trick or treat, dog. You're saying all these stories. I didn't get that experience.

[A]

Your mom didn't let you try.

[B]

I went like, once or twice. One time, I wore a yellow morph suit. I told you. And you saw my little cashew out. And I was trying to impress everybody because I thought I was packing something, and I was running around the park, and so that was that. But it was nighttime, so no one saw me. They're like, who's the yellow guy running across? But I remember my mom one year, she's like, you can go trick or treating. And I went, and she was with me, and she. She had it on her.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And so imagine I'm a kid, right? I'm trying to, like, enjoy Halloween.

[A]

I'm in the spirit. Trick or treat.

[B]

I've Never done this before. I'm 14.

[A]

You have a sophomore.

[B]

I have a chemistry test.

[A]

We get off fall break and.

[B]

No, I'm just saying, like, I was old. Like, I didn't get to. I didn't get to experience as a kid. My mom wasn't having that. And so she went with me. She was like, you can go. Trick or treat. I'm going with you. I said, all right. So my mom would hand in her purse like this as I'm going houses.

[A]

She's like. She's like, go knock on that door. You just hear that? You're like, mom, you ready? She's like, I've been ready, Pete. Knock on that door. See who's answering that door. Go ahead and give it a good ring. Give that bell a good old working. You're like, mom, put it down. The guy opens. She's like, get out of my son's face.

[B]

Oh. And then, dog dad. That's what we had to do is we would. We would. We'd get the candy. And then I wanted to go to the rich neighborhoods, but she was like, I ain't driving out there. And so I just had to stay here when there was, like, these fun sized little candies.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And so I remember I got a bunch of them, and then me and Preston had them, and we were so excited, we dumped them on the floor. And she was like, okay, look at them. And so we're just looking at the candy. She'll put it in the trash bag, and then she would take it to, like, a shelter, and she'd be like, somebody else ain't got no Halloween. I'm like, wait, so you're scared we can't eat it because it's lace, but you're giving it to the orphans? Like, the orphans can get this razor blade? Are you kidding me? I'm just kidding. My mom's gonna be so okay.

[A]

That reminded me. That reminded me one year. So, you know, first off, Rip Dusty, that was my. That was my, like, first pet in my family. My mom's like, baby, all that. He's gone now, but dead for every Halloween. He's dead? Yeah, he died. He's dead every Halloween. Dead dog. But every Halloween, he would be dressed up as something, and my mom would pass out the candy. And this was the point where I was old enough, where I didn't trick or treat anymore. It was still cool to go with friends in high school, but it was like, that first year, I was like, man, I'm not going right? So ringing the doorbell all Night we're going getting the candy and stuff and one time she opens the door, it's the little kids and Dusty just runs out and you know, Lisa doesn't play freak out. Lisa drops the bowl of candy, moves the kids clean out of the way. Our door, our front door's wide open. She knocks a four year old into our grass. She's like oh my God, get my dog. Get out of my way. Knocks a four year old over. Candy falls to the ground. Dusty, she's just like just running. She scoops him, she's like oh, oh. And the other parent's like what the woman? You knocked my kid over. And I'm just standing in the doorway.

[B]

Like okay, what's the appropriate age to trick or treat or. No, not the appropriate age. What's the appropriate type time to start trick or treating? Because I understand, right, there's these families and they got little babies, right?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And they dress them up as little princesses and some of your kids outfits are. Dude, let me say that. Like spend some money or don't dress them. I'm just kidding.

[A]

No, literally. Yeah, don't.

[B]

It's like take the paper bag off at Timmy's skull dog. That's not a good. You're embarrassing your son. Well, okay, I just remember I'm not.

[A]

Going to like those pictures.

[B]

Looking back, I remember that like at my neighborhood at like 4pm There'd be kids at my door.

[A]

That is excessive as shit.

[B]

Boy, my parents would be hot dog. They'd be like hey, we just got.

[A]

Off of work, I just got chewed out by my superiors and you want a Twix? You want me to give you a Reese's cup right now your ugly little kid. The sun's out, there's still cars coming in the neighborhood. Yeah, no, I would say if there was, if there had to be a universal time, the itty bitty's get to go first. That's clear, that's safe. I'd say like 5:30 hitting 6.

[B]

It's orange outside at least.

[A]

Orange, yeah. There's no way someone should be knocking doors for candy when it's yellow.

[B]

I see clouds. I shouldn't see clouds.

[A]

No shot. I'd say I'd even go up maybe 6 to 6:30 should be your itty bitties.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Slowly followed by your 8 to 9 year olds hitting about 7715 and just keeps going.

[B]

That's oddly specific.

[A]

730 to about 742, you got your 8th and 9th graders and then the rest of the nights for the Heathens.

[B]

Yeah, that's why they're.

[A]

They're going for a couple pieces of candy. They're getting their sugar high, then they're going in Johnny's apple tree.

[B]

Speaking of heathens, you know, I'm saying. I used to say. I told the story last year how we used to egg people on Halloween. We'd, like, freeze eggs and we'd.

[A]

We'd. You'd freeze them?

[B]

Yeah, and we just knock people, like.

[A]

Yeah, that hurt. Like.

[B]

And so I remember we were trying to be like, we were older kids, right? And we weren't the trick or treating, but we knew Halloween was the thug day, like, for the ld. Like this, where you just act out. Everybody's outside. You get, mmm, I forgot.

[A]

I forgot. I really did. Here. This outside. So all that's not making you get.

[B]

A visit and a pizza from Chris Hansen right there. That's how that happens. Goodness don't do that on Halloween. Please say that for Thanksgiving. At least everybody's inside me, huh? I remember one year, it was like, we're at the tail end of high school. We were like, juniors and seniors. And this is when I realized, like, I'm not about it.

[A]

No.

[B]

Like, I'm not about certain.

[A]

Good.

[B]

I drew the line of eggs. Like, we'd hit people in the legs, whatever. It was fun, cool. No one's really hurt.

[A]

Yeah, well.

[B]

But maybe how hard you throw. I remember this year, we were with this group. It was our group, right? And they were like, hey, this Halloween, it's our last Halloween before college. Like, we're never gonna have this hometown Halloween again.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And they're like, we're going all out. And I was like, more eggs, right?

[A]

We're buying them by the baker's duds and go get all the boxes.

[B]

These, they had rocks, dog. I remember they had a sack of rocks. Like a Walmart sack of rocks. And I remember I was like, okay, I don't know what's going on? And I was walking with them, right? We would drive, we'd park, and we'd walk a little bit to get away from the car. And they would find parking lots. I remember I got there, we pulled to the parking lot. I'm not sure what we're doing. I'm kind of playing the bag because I was like, I don't know what's going on. I see one dude go and throw it at a car window. Throw a rock at a car window, it shatters. It goes, happy Halloween, bitch. And I'm like, oh, God, no.

[A]

You go I am a. I am a victim right now. I was lied to.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I thought we were throwing poultry eggs.

[B]

Yeah. So I rem. And I went home. And then I ran home. Right. I literally ran. I was nervous. I'm running home and, you know, in. In, you know, in my yard, there's that little hole for, like, the electrical stuff.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And there's like a hole in the grass, but you can't see it. I'm running scared as hell. They throw a rock at a car. I step in the hole, my leg goes. And when I tell you, instantly there is a bruise like this size on my. On my leg. And imagine having to explain that to my mom.

[A]

Yeah. She's like, no. She's like, where are they? Who kicked you?

[B]

And so I could. I had to leave the part out where I saw somebody vandalize the vehicle. That's a felony.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I showed. Why are you running? And I was like, too many scary costumes.

[A]

Yeah. I was petrified. Went to a whole big bruise. Love your mom.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Holy shit.

[B]

Halloween was a special time.

[A]

Okay. I don't know why this trigger. I think this was around Halloween too. I went with my friends to me, Sanjin and another friend. They were kind of funny. Shout out, Sanjin. But the other friend had an older brother and his friends. And, you know, at that age, it was always cool. Was there need to grip that like it was your last drink. You haven't drank in two weeks. Oh, my God.

[B]

Yeah, it was almost there. Love Red Bull, though.

[A]

So love Red Bull. So we're hanging out with our friend and his older brother and his friends.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

This was. This had to. This was Halloween weekend because everyone was dressed up, but we didn't participate. We go. He goes, hey, we're gonna go poop dollar someone. I go, excuse me, what is that you said? Fecal matter. Poop dollar. He goes, yeah, you never poop dollar.

[B]

He's a currency of shit.

[A]

100%, literally. He had his beagle. He gave his beagle. He put milk in the water bowl, had the beagle drink milk, went outside, the dog pooped in the lawn. He scoops it with a ladle, puts it in a brown paper bag, takes it in his car. We are now listening to mid 2000s rap music on the way to a Walmart. We park in the Walmart, he puts on a latex glove, grabs said dog shit, wraps a $1 bill around it, sets it in front of Walmart, and we pull and park in the handicap parking spot. And he goes, now we wait and we're looking there. A man comes out, goes for the dollar, grabs it, realizes he's holding dog shit freaks out. My old. My friend's older brother peels out. You been poof$. Suck it. And we drive off. And I immediately said, I want to go home. I said, I don't belong here. This isn't cup of tea. I'm out.

[B]

Dude, the crate. Is it evil of me that I think that's a fantastic prank?

[A]

Oh, that's pretty.

[B]

Like, that's so damn good.

[A]

$1. You're wrapping it in, dog. I go, Ruby. Start getting the muscles working. Start getting that stomach.

[B]

She is knocked, bro, she's asleep.

[A]

Oh, she is asleep.

[B]

She's so cute.

[A]

Hey, Janet.

[B]

Okay, but I have a thing with you, right? I have a question with you.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And this is weird. And like I said, I do love women. I promise you. No, I know I said that already, but I swear, and I.

[A]

What are we doing?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

What are we doing? Okay, you should never have. Now you're rubbing your knees like you're nervous, talking to a therapist, telling your darkest secret.

[B]

It's not really a secret, but I.

[A]

Prefaced it with I do love women. Yeah, Stop touching yourself.

[B]

But okay, so I was. I was looking at your Instagram last night. No. Okay, wait a minute, my bro. It just knows when it's time. I was looking at your Instagram last night, right? And I was like, he's a good looking chap. I like your profile picture a lot because it looks like you got cheek injections.

[A]

What?

[B]

Your cheeks are so prominent. It's one of my favorite pictures of you.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I like this. And so I. I don't know what it was, but I kind of dozed off and another like, daydream kind of happened and I just. It was like me smooching this part of your cheek right here. This is my favorite part of you.

[A]

You had a daydream. This wasn't even nighttime.

[B]

It was nighttime, but I was like a drift off. I wasn't fully asleep.

[A]

So you stalked my page to find a good photograph, which then you sedated yourself to go to sleep so you could dream and smooch me.

[B]

No, it was just like you were asking for it, though. You went like, oh, no, I wasn't. No, you did. You went like this. And you prompted me with that party and you smiled. And when you smile, that part goes up. It's really nice.

[A]

I smell good. Did I let you.

[B]

Yeah, no, you literally gave you like your giddy.

[A]

Bro, relax.

[B]

You gave yourself Oh, I gave you literally like this.

[A]

Cuz you. That's what you wanted. You free.

[B]

Yeah, but you gave it to me.

[A]

Because you asked for it. You can ask for anything you want.

[B]

But I asked that question, like what? Cuz that to me, your cheek is the most kissable part of you. So what's like on me? Like what's your favorite? Like what could you kiss?

[A]

Are you dead ass serious asking me what I think your most kissable part is?

[B]

It's Halloween. We can be whoever we want to.

[A]

Does that mean it's Halloween?

[B]

We could be whoever we want to be.

[A]

Why didn't you ask me what my favorite candy is, you creep? Talking about where would you want kiss on me? I'd probably. I'd probably go your forehead. I'd probably go your forehead. I'd probably have to. It'd be your forehead or your neck. Where your neck meets.

[B]

I love my neck.

[A]

That was a bit much.

[B]

Why? Why my forehead? I've never got compliment on my forehead.

[A]

It's just nice. You can see. Don't do that with your eyes. I made it really un nice. It's. You don't have wrinkles. You're not old like me in the head. And you always have a nice line. Like a good. A good crisp line up there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like I might kiss where Brooks gives you enhancements. Get some of that black ink on me. Take it to go. I'd say that. Or your neck.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or your small nipples. She said dad, stop. You should know podcast. All right. In the spirit of Halloween.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So the other day I was going for a simple Google search. And this. This scares me. This honestly scares me. Okay.

[B]

I like spooky scares.

[A]

And I'm gonna break it down to you, but it kind of concerns me a bit.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm simply going to search. What does it mean if your car. Okay. What does it mean if your car audio doesn't work. Liv got a new car. I'm trying to look that up.

[B]

Right.

[A]

All I could get in the search bar was what does it mean? About 15 results pop up.

[B]

Oh God.

[A]

And when I tell you that we need to pray more for people out there, bro. The search results that pop up for when I simply say what does it mean? I just want you to listen.

[B]

Okay? So this is what pops up in Google when you type in what does it mean?

[A]

I'm sorry. What does it mean if my.

[B]

Okay. What does it mean if my. This is what pops up.

[A]

I was going for what does it mean if my car play isn't Sinking. Okay, I saw. What does it mean if my poop is green? Okay.

[B]

Oh, mine's always green.

[A]

That's disgusting. Get it checked. No, that's normal green poop.

[B]

That's healthy poop.

[A]

Healthy? What are you eating, grass?

[B]

No, it's.

[A]

I have some shades of green. I'm talking your. Your Spanx and your gloves.

[B]

Yeah, I got a corn fed.

[A]

You're shitting turquoise. We need to get you.

[B]

No, green, not turquoise.

[A]

Okay, next one. What if my poop. What does it mean if my poop is black?

[B]

Mmm. I haven't had tar.

[A]

Shit. I've never shat out rubber. Okay. What does it mean if my pee is cloudy?

[B]

What? What does that mean?

[A]

Your piss is cloudy?

[B]

That's if you do too many drugs.

[A]

That's gotta be.

[B]

Hold on. We gotta explore some of these. You can't just skip through these like this.

[A]

Oh, my God, there's so many. And a lot of them about poop. Okay, okay. What does it mean if my pee is cloudy? That has to be drug induced, right?

[B]

No, that has to be you. You are on narcotics 100%.

[A]

What does it mean if my glucose is high? That's an honest question.

[B]

Honestly, don't know what glucose is.

[A]

Okay, well, that's what's in corn syrup. Glucose is your sugar levels.

[B]

Yeah, glucose, corn syrup. I remember in science class, Ms. Wingate, she told us about glucose corn syrup, and she was like, you got to check if there's glucose. Corn syrup.

[A]

Glucose, corn syrup.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

What does it mean if my poop floats? Okay. You ever have floaters?

[B]

I don't look. That's the thing with me.

[A]

You don't look at your.

[B]

Never.

[A]

So what?

[B]

No, no, not long enough. Sometimes I'll ask.

[A]

You're bold enough to sit here and burn me at the stake for not looking at the white.

[B]

I'll look at the wipe.

[A]

But you don't look at the product.

[B]

No, that's too much. That's disgusting. Like, honestly, I know people, doctors and shit in the comments are gonna be like, you gotta see if you see if you got thorns in it or something. I don't know what the point is. Oh, sometimes it feels like there's thorough eating.

[A]

Wood chips. What do you mean thorns?

[B]

What the.

[A]

Or like.

[B]

Or like toys or metal or something. I don't know, whatever you eat. I'm just saying I can't. And just let me expose something real quick. It is with the people of the you should know podcast team. Right? This is an in house problem that I'm gonna address online.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

Cam, cj, Ryan, K, Rob Live. They send each other pictures of their number twos, and they literally compare it. They're like, this was a long one today.

[A]

This was a. This was a. This was a test.

[B]

That is just. Bro, that is so weird to me. Y'all have no home training, okay?

[A]

It means we have enough confidence and trust in the other person, you crooked star bastard. That's what it means. We're showing all. Yeah, fix your little bra. We're showing off our poop as an achievement, like an accolade.

[B]

That's not an achievement. That's disgusting. And then they'll literally be in group messages and on, like, whenever they had Snapchat, like, back in, like, college, they would be in group messages, and they would just send pictures of each other's fecals. And then they tried to put me into this game, and I said, hey, bro, I swear to God, I will never speak to any of y'all again if I receive a picture of.

[A]

See, that's heartless. That's bullshit. Why don't you just take one for the squad and do the game?

[B]

A picture of your poop is a test of loyalty.

[A]

Hey, I never really wanted to play among us. Right when it came out, ends up, it was a great time. I had to take that leap of faith.

[B]

What is your gain from looking at people's poo dog?

[A]

Then you look at yours and you go, hey, mine was better than his. Let me send it back.

[B]

I think that's a king.

[A]

It's like a pat on the back. Best poop to date. Kevin Howard. Those were monsters, bro.

[B]

He was dropping.

[A]

He was dropping off, like, loaves of bread.

[B]

See, that's not even. That's just. It's like, I'm not having fun, bro. It's gross.

[A]

Okay, I'm sorry.

[B]

That's disgusting.

[A]

What does it mean if my eye keeps twitching?

[B]

That you don't get enough sleep?

[A]

That's what that means.

[B]

Yes. Yeah, you don't get enough sleep because I used to have a twitchy eye problem.

[A]

We're on two different spectrums. You said not enough sleep. She said too much caffeine.

[B]

Well, you have too much caffeine, you're not gonna get enough sleep.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Bless you.

[A]

See it, Dr. Seuss.

[B]

I see your barnacle boy.

[A]

Last one. What does it mean if my period blood is brown?

[B]

I don't know if I want to. I don't know if we can or if we should get involved in that.

[A]

We have a woman on the fish. She said it means it's old.

[B]

You can have old. Mmm. Let me, let me not.

[A]

So when you go to look up at your car audio system, you see the problems of the world on Google. So be weary. What you're searching, you know.

[B]

You want to know a problem with the world that I have?

[A]

Let's hear it.

[B]

I was. I was kissing the other day. I was having a good smooch. And I haven't had a smooch in a long time.

[A]

Just call me.

[B]

No. Yeah. Like I said, whenever I dreamed of your kiss, it was aggressive and mean. It wasn't loving. Yeah, it wasn't loving. But I was having a good smooch. Right.

[A]

That's good.

[B]

And it was the first mooch I've had in a long time. And it was a good smooth, good. A lot of tongue. I love a good tongue. Like I want to know what you ate two days ago based off your taste buds.

[A]

Get in there molars. Let me go get your leftovers out of that molar. Let me get. Let me turn my tongue to a floss.

[B]

And I've said. And I. And I've said this before. Right. But I'm really gonna double down on this. Oh, I think it is stranger to keep your eyes closed during a kiss.

[A]

No.

[B]

Than to have them open.

[A]

No.

[B]

Dude, it is like, okay, how cuz.

[A]

You'Re Ted Bundy if you keep them open. Wait, well why?

[B]

I don't have a good imagination.

[A]

She's sitting here grabbing your frisky little jaw with all that rough hair. That's scruff. A couple sins from the backside. And she's just giving her. All right, she's loyal, she's intimate, she's vulnerable, she's in the moment. And if she ever just took a peek as she sees this. Okay, what are you, Connor McGregor? Relax.

[B]

But.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Do you kiss people that you're attracted to?

[A]

I kiss one.

[B]

Okay, yes. But would you. But would you ever kiss somebody you're not attracted to?

[A]

No.

[B]

Exactly. So if I'm attracted to you, I want to see what you look like with your tongue in my neck.

[A]

Hey. And her tongue's already down your mouth. Trying to get the little hole to work. Doing some rounds on that punching bag back there. You've already. You're close enough. You don't need to watch her do that.

[B]

Nobody. You look pretty while you're doing it. I want to look at you. And I'm not. But like I said, I'm not bug eyed staring at you, but I'm definitely peeking at you. And I want to See your jaw move up and down.

[A]

I'd say you see with your hands the forbidden fruits of the village. Who did I just turn into it? What the was that? I just became like a monk. What did I just say? I just spoke in tongues.

[B]

What is that? I really. I don't know, but it was kind of hot.

[A]

I told you. See?

[B]

See?

[A]

Learn a thing or two. There we go. Okay, teacher, so you close your eyes, but then your new. Your eyes become your fingertips. Okay? That's how you get around the course. That's how you get around.

[B]

I can't see what she looks like through my hands, but. No, but you're gonna feel when my Amelia Earhart. Oh, no, that's Helen Keller.

[A]

They're like your other left. No.

[B]

Kim, we can keep it if you want. Yeah, okay.

[A]

It's Halloween. Just you take your o hos, you put them in your fingies. Okay, so your debt, you're just closed, right? Come on, work with me.

[B]

No, no, work with me. Okay.

[A]

Come on, work with me.

[B]

What are we doing?

[A]

Lean in. You're gonna come smooch me. Not. Not real, though, because you got a lot of tongue. I don't know if I could man up to that. Okay, so right here, right, you're looking right. This isn't good. Now, if you closed. If you went there and you put on the backside, you feel. You go down the spine, grab some hair.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Feel a shoulder. Grab a ha.

[B]

No. Okay. I'm talking about just seeing their face. I'm attracted to faces. Like, I love faces.

[A]

Yeah, Faces are nice.

[B]

Yeah. Okay, so I want to see your face.

[A]

Let's call a spade a spade. Okay. What, are you gonna kiss your whole life?

[B]

Yes. Oh, genuinely, I enjoy kissing more than anything. That's my favorite. You're a good man. Okay, this is my debunking of your theory. Right.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

If it's weird to close it to keep your eyes open during kissing, why is it not weird to keep your eyes open during coitus?

[A]

Cuz. Are you kidding me, son?

[B]

Why do you keep your eyes open during coitus?

[A]

Then you're joking.

[B]

No, dead ass. I'd rather close my eyes during coitus. Maybe because I'm not proud of what I'm looking at.

[A]

If you close your eyes in coitus, you're going too hard. You're too in the moment. You. You're gonna miss something. I got a broken broomstick. You got a broken broomstick? I'm just kidding. You can miss.

[B]

No. Okay. No, no. Inside yourself a lot of room from the stick.

[A]

No.

[B]

That's an agre. I don't do aggressive. I'm. I'm. I'm 24 seconds and I'm slow. I'm a shot clock. A shot.

[A]

A shot.

[B]

That's nice.

[A]

Okay. That's. Come on. If you're close.

[B]

What?

[A]

I just sat there and thought about it. Bro. I can only imagine you. Okay, this might be a bit much. Tmi. Let's put it in layman terms so we know and it's not too explicit. What position are we in? Right. Let's just assume I stay in. Okay.

[B]

I'm good. How God created it. I'm not going outside of it.

[A]

You're a deliverer of the word. Okay. You're in. That a man. You're just sitting there, eyes closed.

[B]

I think it's weirder to keep your eyes open during coitus than it is to keep your eyes open while kissing.

[A]

See, But I feel like that might be the only applicable. The only applicable movement. The only applicable position for eyes closed.

[B]

No. I'm just saying I think it's. I think it is strange to keep your eyes.

[A]

Bro. Okay. Closed during closed is more intimate. 100 think about surprise.

[B]

Then why don't you keep your. But what's supposed to be more intimate? Kissing or coitus?

[A]

Coitus.

[B]

So why. So if it's more intimate. Close your eyes during co.

[A]

There's room for error.

[B]

Stop being a jackrabbit. Make some love dog.

[A]

I'm not a jack rabbit.

[B]

I'm saying.

[A]

Okay, I see your point on that. But kissing is not. That's not the end of the end.

[B]

All it is for me.

[A]

That's. That's just strange. It's just strange. What is that smell? What is that smell, bro?

[B]

It's. That. It is.

[A]

It's. Okay, see, I know what you're saying and I get it. For the final. The final step, home run, as some people say.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But you probably, like, wait in all these scenarios, are you in your bed? You're in your house.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's what it is. You don't want to see your room. That's why your eyes are closed. Your room's despicable.

[B]

No, it's not.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

But I keep them open during kisses.

[A]

No. You. Okay, you keep them open.

[B]

I really don't even have coitus. I just kiss.

[A]

Oh my God. That's what it is. You allow her to keep her eyes shut and you're like this.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

She can't see that you're looking around. Oh, my God. Peyton, FaceTime me the other night, there's a dead moth on your bed frame. You're sleeping with bugs. That's why you don't want her eyes open, dog. You're like, hey, just trust me. You go like this.

[B]

I sleep with moths.

[A]

Peyton sleeps with moss.

[B]

Okay. What happened was.

[A]

Is. Oh, there's no, there's. Oh.

[B]

What happened was Cam was FaceTiming me. Right. And.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was cleaning my room at this point. Yeah. And so on my bed frame, I saw like this little thing, like on top of my bed frame. And I was like, what is that? It's a creature, but it's just a dead mob and it's weak. And I said, bro, I am disgusting. I live in the jungle.

[A]

And the worst part is, I want you to think about this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That moth couldn't survive.

[B]

I didn't even kill it.

[A]

So either the fumes of the atmosphere, the lack of food, or the poison of Whataburger some a moth shouldn't eat literally killed it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It often.

[B]

And I found bug juice on my wall the other day because I killed one six months ago. But I think I was. I was doing my sleep time medicine and I don't remember really killing it, but then I looked up there and I saw like a. Like a. Like a cockroach spine on my wall. Holy use. Gooey and green.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my God. You definitely should have went with just some salsa verde. There's no way you should have told me I was a cockroach.

[B]

Yeah. And I could. I do have a question about bathrooms.

[A]

Oh, my God. Okay.

[B]

I have a question about bathrooms. You remember, you don't have. Because you have a really nice expensive house. But you remember whenever you used to have. You remember shower curtains.

[A]

Yes. So I definitely have shower curtains. Let's just. Let's just make that known. You have glasses in my bathroom.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Every other one has shower curtain. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Can't relate. Just kidding.

[A]

He's literally not kidding.

[B]

Okay, so you're right. So shower curtains, right? Yes. There's something that has always, like, not made sense to me. You know whenever you close your shower curtain and the water is going right.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Why does the shower curtain go in suck into?

[A]

You gotta hate it.

[B]

Someone bring me that science.

[A]

They said it's something with the vacuum of space and time when you're. Excuse me. Okay, I'm not trying to be Neil Degrasse Tyson here, but apparently if it's something to do with the hot water, it's drawing the Thing apparently they said you got to get the inside wet and it'll stick. I don't know, but I hate it cuz it feels like someone's touching me when I'm bathing. And often times when I bathe, shampoo gets in my eyes and have to close my eyes and I get quite scared.

[B]

Dude, okay, that's what happened to you? No, I'm gonna comment parlay into something okay with that. I have an irrational fear, and I still do as a 25 year old man, of closing my eyes for too long in the shower. I swear to God. And so I used to go six to seven months without washing my hair because I wouldn't like to have to do this. And I would hear a creak and then I would like try to get. It would be in my eyes and I'm burning and now and then nothing's there. And so I'm deceited by my own angst. Like I have a crippling fear of closing my eyes for too long in the shower.

[A]

You gotta let that shit go. You gotta let dog, you're grown, you're by yourself, you're in your house, the doors are locked, you're on the third floor, you'd hear the stair.

[B]

No. Some CJ got on me the other day because I was like bro, lock my balcony door on my third floor.

[A]

Your balcony door?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What is Catwoman coming after you lock your balcony door?

[B]

I have this theory. If people are want in and off, they're gonna find a way. You don't think ladders exist, bro.

[A]

Oh, okay, so you think burglars show up to the scene with a 26 foot stable double sided ladder.

[B]

You don't think they could.

[A]

Hey, let's, let's, let's siege his place.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

Let's get to the top and get him in.

[B]

Not everything is a brick and mortar. Like let's, let's like let's guerrilla marketing. This door in there's stealthy burglar, there's stealthy burgers, Stealthy burglars out there.

[A]

You think someone's gonna climb a ladder in broad daylight?

[B]

It's nighttime.

[A]

Oh, so they're gonna climb a 26 foot ladder?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Darkest shit outside to get to a balcony with wasp nests and weird stenches. And you think that's the more probable than kicking your front door in?

[B]

If they want me, if they've studied me and they found out the layout of my house and they're like, we know he's in there, we're gonna climb this floor. I Have though mute that. But I do. Oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, my God. You need to listen to me, okay? You need to stop watching films, okay? You're fine. Everything's gonna be fine. And it's all good, okay? You don't have enemies and villains aren't out to get you. Don't have a turf war with falcons. No birds are gonna come through. None of that. It's all good, okay?

[B]

Yeah, and we have shit fans, too. Let me say that. We have shit fans because that video, that episode where I talked about how my fear of ostriches.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You know how many damn ostriches videos I got sent that week?

[A]

Oh, I can only imagine.

[B]

And it was like. There was a viral ostrich video that you went viral that same week. I talked about it. Of the. A bunch of parents took their kids on a field trip and they were like, on the back of this trailer and there was like, ostriches behind this gate. The ostriches broke loose. The kids were like in the grass, like, in this pen, right? The officers broke loose and they were running around charging these little kids. And I literally watched these kids, right, get the same trauma and PTSD that I have. And I was like, I know what you're experiencing that's bad. That, like, defenseless fear of these seven.

[A]

Foot, huge winged creatures.

[B]

Seven foot hell birds that are coming after you and spitting on you, bro. It's not like. You know what I mean?

[A]

I don't. I seriously don't. I'm not gonna lie, though, when you put it like that, bro. An ostrich would be absolutely terrifying. Like, worst run from. Because they're fast as shit.

[B]

40 miles per hour, bro.

[A]

40. 40.

[B]

40 to 45. They're fast as hell.

[A]

40 miles an hour.

[B]

They are fast as hell. CJ. Google it if you think I'm lying. 40 and they're 6. 7. That's what I'm saying, dude. They can run as fast as Usain Bolton. They're our size, bro, and they faster than Usain. And they spit.

[A]

They can run like a RAV4.43. Wait, 43? You tell me the weight. How much do they weigh? That's like Derek Henry. Google another foot.

[B]

Google the fastest. Google the fastest ostrich of all time. Google the fastest ostrich of all time.

[A]

Find the goat ostrich. Find the greatest ostrich to ever live. Holy shit.

[B]

I'm telling you, they're disgustingly.

[A]

You might be converting me. I told you, I did not know that. I just thought they were big and ran. I Didn't know they're moving at 40.

[B]

Is Ruby have a pulse?

[A]

Dude, something reeks. It's on. It's over here with me.

[B]

You smell something bad?

[A]

What?

[B]

You stick. Hold on. Don't read that, bro.

[A]

Holy shit. Some. Oh, my God.

[B]

What?

[A]

Oh, my goodness. What is that? What? What is that?

[B]

I don't smell anything, bro.

[A]

You don't smell that?

[B]

No.

[A]

It smells horrible.

[B]

No.

[A]

Are you food?

[B]

Is there food behind your couch?

[A]

Food, my asshole. That is like awful.

[B]

Let me see. I'm gonna smell. I don't smell it, bro.

[A]

What the do you mean? I know that's coming.

[B]

Do not smell this.

[A]

No. What is.

[B]

Damn, bro. It's.

[A]

It's my. I think it's a mic.

[B]

No.

[A]

No. What is it?

[B]

I can't smell anything.

[A]

She's over there gagging too.

[B]

Kim, there's no stitch. None of us smell this.

[A]

How are you not smelling this?

[B]

I don't smell anything.

[A]

Your eyes are watering. Are you lying?

[B]

I'm laughing at you.

[A]

Am I having a stroke? What am I smelling? What am I smelling, bro?

[B]

I don't smell anything, bro. I don't smell it. Damn. What is this, bro?

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Cam.

[A]

Is that. I'm not even kidding. What is that? Cam?

[B]

Dead ass. Look at me.

[A]

How do you not smell?

[B]

I don't smell anything.

[A]

Your eyes are.

[B]

You're lying to me, bro. I don't smell. No.

[A]

If that's coming for you, you need to leave, bro. If that's. If that can even come from a human being. What is that.

[B]

Bro?

[A]

Did you put something rotten over here?

[B]

I was asking you the question.

[A]

I know. Did you shit your pants?

[B]

I don't think so.

[A]

I'm not even joking. This is awful, bro. What is that? Do you smell it? She's gagging. You're lying to me. She said.

[B]

Did you fart?

[A]

Oh, my. What? Dude, I'm not even kidding. What?

[B]

Damn. Check your thing. Check your costume. Jenna, check your costume. Sweating.

[A]

I'm sweating even worse.

[B]

I don't smell anything, bro.

[A]

Bro.

[B]

Dead ass. I don't smell it.

[A]

Now it's gone.

[B]

There is no smell this whole time, bro.

[A]

That's. You can't tell me what I was smelling? No, you cannot.

[B]

Come here. Smell over here. Don't come over your smell and see if you can smell it.

[A]

What the. It's back. What is that, bro? What is that? Wait, what is that? Peyton?

[B]

Cam, I'm sitting here.

[A]

It smells like someone took a tire and set it on fire, bro. It smells like. Like burnt rubber dog. How are you not smelling.

[B]

It's so funny because no one smells it, bro.

[A]

I think it's this.

[B]

It's a costume. Let me smell your costume.

[A]

It's not, though.

[B]

Let me see. No time. What is it?

[A]

Did you show me your hand right now? No. Pick it up. Did you just sp. Oh, my God. You are. You. You are a sinful man. You are a absolute.

[B]

It's the world's worst fart spray.

[A]

Oh, my goodness. No, stop. Stop spraying it. Stop spraying it. Stop spraying it.

[B]

Stop.

[A]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, please.

[B]

That.

[A]

Please, please quit it.

[B]

Happy Halloween.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

It'S just a little spooky spray. Oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Don't.

[A]

Don't, please.

[B]

God.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know how you were faking it for so long.

[B]

That is.

[A]

That is rancid. Oh.

[B]

Oh, my. Dude.

[A]

Oh, my. I dog. My. My stomach. My stomach's turning. My stomach.

[B]

Horrible.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

God.

[A]

It's short lived. How many times you spray that thing?

[B]

So many.

[A]

Was I looking?

[B]

I kept trying to advert you over there to CJ to tell you. Look at cj, bro.

[A]

And I didn't even hear it that last time. I literally heard it, bro.

[B]

I've been spraying it for like the past 20 minutes, but it wasn't working.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

You have to hold it upright. And I was trying to spray it like this, like on the low like this, but it wasn't working, dog.

[A]

I literally thought I was sweating so bad that it was a stench I've never smelled. I thought I was secreting a smell that I have never smelled in. It's still here.

[B]

Okay, Cap. Dead ass. What if I showed up to your wedding smelling like that?

[A]

What you tell you to leave? There's no doubt about it. You would not be out there like that. You would have to go home or just go. Wait. And. Dude, it's still here.

[B]

Okay, wait. What if whatever your son's born, he comes out smelling like that?

[A]

Put his ass back. Put him back and let him bathe in that goose some more. Or I tell Liv you're on a water diet for two days. Don't eat anything because he reeks.

[B]

Oh, dude, that. Take a break and air this bitch out.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

The you should know podcast. This episode is brought to you by one of my favorite partners of all time, Skims. I cannot describe the feeling I had when I first put on a pair of skims underwear cam.

[A]

Oh, my God, they're so soft. I'll one up you. I can't even tell you the excitement I had when I found out skims was launching menswear.

[B]

Oh my God. The Twitter streets went crazy. Everybody in my hometown, our group message went crazy. So as soon as we could get our hands on it, guess what we did immediately.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

I put them on and I was doing this in the mirror. I was wiggling those hips. I was feeling good. The confidence, the comfort, everything you need in skims. And we're big girls. They don't ride up on the thighs.

[A]

And they don't shrink.

[B]

I love skims. I can wear them out at a club. I can wear them when I'm working out. I can wear them when I'm at home all day. All comfort skims now has a lifelong user in Peyton Harden and I'm sure with Cameron Kim.

[A]

Oh, my God. Make that too.

[B]

And I want to make that with everybody in the you should know podcast family. Everybody needs to go get skims right now because we're telling you everything is perfect. So shop skims men'[e-mail], let them know that we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu. That follows will help us out a lot. And skims will know that the usual podcast family rides hard. Now on to the rest of the episode. Okay, we got the studio fumigated. I think the. The smell has cleared out fine. And well we got miss Ruby.

[A]

Ruby.

[B]

Oh, hi, Ruby.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

To the people.

[A]

I think you can make a natural outfit of those little ant alien things off men in black.

[B]

J. Ruby, you want to say something to the people? Tell me that you love Uncle P. And you. Why should you should know podcast.

[A]

Huh? Oh, oh, oh, she's on the microphone. Oh, she's. Oh, all right.

[B]

Be free.

[A]

Go see a girl. See you, chicken.

[B]

Oh, she's gonna hear. Okay. Alrighty. How are you feeling? How you doing? Is your nose okay?

[A]

My nose is fine. The studio's better. And that was unbelievable.

[B]

Yeah, that was bad.

[A]

The fact I did not see that for however many sprays you sprayed at the beginning. So many was utter non.

[B]

Yeah, it was so many spray Ruby. Janet.

[A]

Now she's gone forever. Walking straight through the wires. Okay, little dog. All right. I thought of something the other day that I you not it. It is. I have not thought of it for about five to 10 years.

[B]

That's a long time.

[A]

Have to share it.

[B]

Share it.

[A]

First off, did you ever have any spooky injuries?

[B]

Spooky injuries?

[A]

Any spooky injuries?

[B]

Broke all my fingers, my collarbone, my elbow. Hyperextended my knee, six concussions, broke my back. None of those were like, that's exciting.

[A]

Okay. We were talking the other day about sports and about just the fall in general and stuff like that. And I remembered a story about my high school basketball coach getting injured. When I say it's, it is. You gotta bear with me. It is so funny, though. It sucks that it happened to someone. So he was working a track meet, right? He was where? He was out in the field doing the field events, shot put and discus. So he's working out there. Someone throws the shot put, right? Are you familiar with shot put?

[B]

The big ball.

[A]

The big ball. Heavy. It's like a cannonball, literally.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

They chunk it. Okay, so his job, he was working the field. His job was to go clear it and then bring it off so the next guy can go.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

He walks out there, picks up a shot put, clears it. Whoever was working the front said, all right, next person up, you can go for it. So this next kid gets up there, throws a shot put. Peyton S. Harden. When I tell you, my basketball coach. Heavier set, man.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He grabs the thing. He's walking off a shot put, comes from the sky and drills him on the inside of the leg. He immediately falls to the ground in agony and pain.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

He shows he had to go to the hospital. Like, they took him on an ambulance straight to the er. He shows up, and this is on a Friday, so we didn't see him Saturday. Sunday, he shows up Monday, of course, for work, coaching, everything at basketball practice. This before we go out, he's talking to me. I'm like, coach, what is that on your leg? He then tells me the story. He goes, oh, take a look. He pulls his shorts. Peyton. It was a bruise about this. It looked like a black widow.

[B]

It was, oh, my God.

[A]

Big. He said he was pissing blood.

[B]

And I said, dog, no way he.

[A]

Got hit with a shot. I mean, that could literally. If that was shot out of a cannon, he. That could like, bro. I mean, that's like a literal cannonball, almost. It's just a lead ball. Hit him dead in the leg. Later in that. In that practice the same day, he's pain. He's walking around limping and stuff, right? We're doing a drill. He hits his classic. He would always hit this for whatever reason.

[B]

Okay, okay. Little weird, little squat, stand.

[A]

Squat. Squat, where he's, like, resting on his own legs and he's watching us play, right? We're doing a drills and stuff where we had to run around him. He's in that squat. There was blood on his ass.

[B]

No, I swear to God.

[A]

There was a blood stain on the back of his shorts, I think something seriously serious.

[B]

Is he still with us today?

[A]

He's dead now, but he's. He was a. He was. You know, he passed. They passed away. He was gone. But he did. This was a real injury. And this. No, he's gone.

[B]

Do you think the shot put anything to do with that?

[A]

No, it was cancer, but. So Halloween, the. So basketball coaches, Halloween shot put. It's all good. You know, I pissed myself once doing a neti pot.

[B]

What's a neti pot?

[A]

That thing gets your boogers out of your nose.

[B]

How so?

[A]

Then you fill it with a saline package with Luke.

[B]

Oh. It's literally like a teapot. And you turn sideways and you go through your ears.

[A]

This is about a week ago. I wasn't. This is literally about last week. I was not young.

[B]

You urinated on yourself. Yes.

[A]

No, it was not.

[B]

Finally. I'm not the only one pissing on themselves as an adult, bro.

[A]

The worst part was I didn't even know. I swear to God.

[B]

Excuse me.

[A]

No, I didn't know.

[B]

I woke up loose urethra.

[A]

I guess so. Or I was so overwhelmed by gagging on my own snot in. In loogies, I didn't even realize. I wake up, couldn't breathe, eyes are shut. From crustaceans. Right. My wife goes, hey, Afrin in your pills. They're not doing it. You're going to do the neti pot?

[B]

Yeah, like, all right.

[A]

So I get over the sink. I'm this fresh off the wake up, I'm in my boxers. I do it. I'm sitting there because I couldn't breathe through my nose, and you're. The shit's coming through my mouth and.

[B]

You'Re a little dramatic, a little drag, but I couldn't breathe.

[A]

There's boogers coming out of my throat. All sorts of.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So I finish, I go, oh, oh.

[B]

It'S a little better.

[A]

Okay. I walk back in the room. Liv literally goes, what the did you just do? And I go, what do you mean? She goes, you pissed yourself. I look down, there's a. I'm talking full blown pissing of myself in my underwear. And I was like, holy shit. I didn't even realize I did it. I full blown pissed myself.

[B]

That is insane.

[A]

A huge piss mark right there.

[B]

Okay, what was your initial feeling?

[A]

Bug.

[B]

Okay. But damn it, that kind of sucks. You didn't feel it?

[A]

Oh, I didn't feel It.

[B]

Because I wanted you to feel that first. Initial five seconds. Because it's so good.

[A]

See, that's so gross of you.

[B]

You send pictures of your fecal matter to your friends and your wife.

[A]

That's a competition. That's a competition. This was an accident. This was not something to be proud of. This was not something that is all right. This is not accepted by society.

[B]

Okay. That guy poop pictures is speaking of your bathroom.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. So you know the other day when we were going out, right. And I was at your house and we congregated at your house before we went out?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And I asked you, I said, hey, Cam, can I go borrow some of your cologne? Do you remember that?

[A]

What are you about to tell me? Because I'm already getting. I'm getting scared slash annoyed.

[B]

Well, no, no. Well, it's cool. So I went into your bathroom where you told me the cologne was. You have so much cologne.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you know me, I'm a little, like, curious. I'm a little curious guy.

[A]

What are we doing? You're mixing scents.

[B]

So I was pretty familiar of everything in your old bathroom, right? At your old place. I knew where everything was. I know what every drawer was for.

[A]

Concerning.

[B]

Well, it's who I am. It's who I am.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And so I started going through your drawers.

[A]

What are you doing? Now?

[B]

That's. Now I can understand some frustration, but you know my heart. You have some cool contraptions in there. I opened up one of your drawers, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And there is this, like, this little thing, like this little mechanism that I could only assume was a tongue scraper.

[A]

Oh, yeah, it is. It is.

[B]

And I've never tried a tongue scraper.

[A]

Before, you son of a bitch.

[B]

And I've heard good things about it.

[A]

You son of a bitch. You did not do it.

[B]

And so I ran the warm water for bacterial purposes. I washed off your tongue scraper. I opened up and I started tongue scraping.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But I don't get why you like that. Because I gagged on it. And a bunch of phlegm. Do you gag on your tongue scraper?

[A]

What do you mean you gagged on it?

[B]

It went too deep. I assume scraping your throat.

[A]

It's a tongue scraper.

[B]

I got a long tongue.

[A]

You. Okay, so not only you used my tongue. That's like saying, hey, I saw your toothbrush, and I had a piece of gum stuck. I had to get it out.

[B]

You know, I use your. I use your toothbrush in college. You know that.

[A]

See, and that's bullshit. And we had A deep discussion off camera about how that's not acceptable.

[B]

But I didn't go to my molars with this. I thought. I thought it would be more acceptable if I was just on my tongue. I got clean tongues like a dog.

[A]

You used my tongue scraper. And you used it deep enough to where you gagged yourself twice.

[B]

Gagged.

[A]

You're not gonna see heaven.

[B]

I put it back.

[A]

I hope. Yeah, I see it every morning.

[B]

Used it.

[A]

Did you clean it afterwards?

[B]

No, but I washed it off before I used it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I assume everybody washes it off before they use it. Why wouldn't you wash off your tongue scraper before you use it?

[A]

You wash it before and after. Cuz it's disgusting. It's your tongue. I use that since. I have used that since the night we went to casino. And you're telling me right now to my face you have not cleaned it. And you were sitting there gagging on it. You're gagging on my tongue scraper. And you didn't.

[B]

You're. Well, it's not my fault you didn't clean it before you used it.

[A]

I did clean it before I used it, but all your shit just sits there. And it got mildew on it and germs and nasty white ass tongue.

[B]

And I tried to drink a Gatorade after it. Gatorade tastes completely different. It's a good tongue scraper.

[A]

Oh my God. Oh, I've never. I have never been closer to striking you. And you're. You're so lucky we're dressed as a barnacle boy and mermaid. Barnacle boy and mermaid man. Because there's no way. There's no.

[B]

I just think you're being a bad friend.

[A]

Bad friend. A bad friend would say, hey, the bathrooms to the left and it's to the right. That's a joke. A bad friend. A really bad friend to go. Hey, I came in here and asked for cologne. Let me use this tongue scraper on my sick yuck mouth. That's a bad friend. Let me gag on it and then not washed after. That's a bad.

[B]

You're a piece of shit.

[A]

You're a piece of shit. Star boy Mermaid man. Fix your bra, huh?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You skimpy little witch.

[B]

You're.

[A]

You mean.

[B]

Okay, Cam, but. So you're saying if we're on a deserted island, you wouldn't let me use your mouth utensils?

[A]

If we had a deserted island and I had a mouth utensil, I probably use it on my ass to keep it clean. No diseases.

[B]

Would you let Me use it on mine?

[A]

No. What is this, ancient Rome?

[B]

That's what I'm saying. You're a bad friend. Sharing is caring, brother.

[A]

Sharing is caring.

[B]

Kim yelled at me for taking a shit in his bathroom in his new house.

[A]

When did that happen?

[B]

Remember? Cause CJ's a snitch. And I said, bro, something's not right. And you have 18 bathrooms in your house, but I chose to use yours in your bathroom.

[A]

That's where the problem lies.

[B]

It's the nicest one.

[A]

Don't even let me walk into your bathroom, let alone use. I don't even know what your toilet looks like in your bathroom.

[B]

The seats.

[A]

I've never seen it, cuz. You go, hey, no shot, bro. Get out.

[B]

You go. Two more.

[A]

Pick your poison.

[B]

Not this, okay? That's my house rules. You never laid your house rules?

[A]

Hey, courtesy rules and good friend rules, you scumbag.

[B]

What's.

[A]

Don't use mine.

[B]

That's fake.

[A]

You used my tongue. I'm not getting over this.

[B]

I use your tongue scraper. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my God. And you didn't.

[B]

You didn't smell anything on it?

[A]

Come to think of it, you gagged on. How is this not. How are you so fine with. With it? Just admitting this to me?

[B]

We share underwear. Yes or no?

[A]

No. You steal my underwear?

[B]

Yeah. How do I steal it?

[A]

Because you never give it back. I give it to you willingly, so.

[B]

That'S still sharing it.

[A]

I give it to you willingly.

[B]

Okay, but that's sharing it. Once you give it to me, that's sharing it.

[A]

Do you give it back?

[B]

It's still sharing it.

[A]

Do you give it back?

[B]

I have served.

[A]

You got a pair of mine right now. Trifecta, colors a little boy.

[B]

And once I give it back, that's still sharing it.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

So what's the difference between sharing draws and sharing tongue scrapers?

[A]

Because that's like you say, hey, I shared your drawers. I got active one night. There might be a stain in there. That's what you're saying? You gagged on it? Yeah. You gagged on it and you didn't clean.

[B]

Okay? So it's like saying, that's like wearing.

[A]

My underwear, going on a full date to the state fair, getting sweaty ass, swamp ass syndrome, and then handing them back to me smelling like Rufus.

[B]

Okay, this is gonna test your loyalty, right now. You know how much I hate the dentist.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, this is the option. Either I, Peyton Harden, gets a root canal, which is my biggest fear, because I hate the dentist.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Or I get to use A tongue scraper for a week.

[A]

Root canal you probably need.

[B]

That's so.

[A]

I'm kidding. If that. Okay, there's. It's always. I would have sterilized it with alcohol if you were like, dog, I really need a. Taste buds are shot. I need a. I need to get him back up to par. That's something. I can work with that. You asked for cologne and you gagged on my tongue scraper. How is this not making sense to you?

[B]

I know. I understand.

[A]

Hey, P, can I use your computer? By the way, I just wiped my asshole with your toothbrush. That sucks to hear.

[B]

Maybe we need to work on our communication. And that's the problem.

[A]

We. You said you creep through my drawers like Sherlock Holmes.

[B]

You never creep through my drawers.

[A]

I did it today, actually. I'm just kidding. No, I have enough respect.

[B]

Okay. But you know something that happened me. So me and CJ were driving, right?

[A]

Yeah. It was definitely.

[B]

You know, CJ has never driven a day in his life. I was driving and CJ's being my passenger princess. I was driving and one night, the moon was the biggest I've ever seen it. I've always had speculation, but now I am a hundred and ten percent sure. The moon. There's something behind it, dog. There's something. It can't be, bro. It literally looked like a projector and was taking up half the sky. I could have walked to that bitch.

[A]

No. No shot.

[B]

Why is the moon so big?

[A]

The moon's big in certain places at certain times.

[B]

Okay. And then I was walking outside today, charging my car. Daytime, noon.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Moon was there.

[A]

Moon doesn't leave, buddy.

[B]

Then why can I see it?

[A]

Because it doesn't leave. I just said it doesn't leave.

[B]

So you can see it every day, all day?

[A]

No.

[B]

Then why could I see it today?

[A]

Some days there's clear skies.

[B]

Good visibility, no clear skies. Say there's like eight. Say there's eight clear sky days. Say this. Say there's eight clear sky days.

[A]

Star is creeping me out, bro. I'm sorry. I haven't seen your nose in about an hour and I'm starting to think it's gone. It is creeping me out. It's so much. Just teeth and gone. I don't see your upper lip. Oh, my God. It's scary. Okay, it's there.

[B]

Say there's eight. There's eight clear sky days in a row, right? How many of those days do you think you'd see the moon?

[A]

Maybe three.

[B]

So where does it go?

[A]

The other day, it's still There.

[B]

But why can I see it on.

[A]

Certain days, brother, maybe certain times it's kind of hiding. But it's on a coffee date with Jupiter. I don't know. See, I'm not an astrolog. Anonymous.

[B]

All right, well, this conversation is over there, because I'll just be talking to myself. No, but I was just trying to inquire about.

[A]

What do you want me to say?

[B]

And I don't get emotions. I genuinely don't get emotions. Can we talk about that for a second? I don't get it. It's always good to talk about. I don't get that. I don't understand when something makes like, say somebody says a joke, why do I laugh?

[A]

Because it's funny.

[B]

No, but why is that my natural reaction to go, he, ha ha, what the. Are you kidding me? And like, and something makes me sad. Why does my face scrunch up and there's water out of my skull? Where's the water coming from?

[A]

70% of your body's water.

[B]

No, dead ass. Where does the water come from? 70% of your body, where does it come from?

[A]

Oh, you hook up to the hose. It's inside of you.

[B]

Yeah, but where is there like a tank of something in your whole body's water? So why do I. If I cut myself on like on a door, right, I'm walking past them, I cut myself. Why is there blood coming out, not water? Yeah.

[A]

Hey, you. You have too good of nights you think of. Amazing. Amazing.

[B]

Exactly. So why whenever I'm crying, why is there water coming out, not blood?

[A]

Because if you cried blood, I'd burn you at the stake. I'd get holy water, I'd turn to Revelations and I'd stab you through the heart with a wooden pitchfork. I would absolutely get rid of you.

[B]

Try to, try to answer that. I don't get it.

[A]

The emotions of the blood and water, Both of them, blood and water. That's. That's exactly.

[B]

So why when I cry, is there water coming out, not blood?

[A]

Maybe there's like a cool little tank right there.

[B]

Yeah. Do we have like a, like a tank in our skulls?

[A]

Because you know how sometimes when you cry and then you're still trying to cry if there's no more water left? Maybe you used it all. Do you cry long? No, I have long cries. They're bad.

[B]

That's seriously embarrassing.

[A]

They're embarrassing for a 26 year old.

[B]

Shouldn't be. But like, I'm being so serious.

[A]

No, I don't, I, I don't know.

[B]

Like emotions. If you think about it. We've just accepted emotions. That is the craziest thing in the world. Why when somebody makes a joke, do we illicitly go hehe haha. And our stomachs crunch up? Why? Or when we're sad, just tanks of water come out of us. Where's that coming from?

[A]

Dude, you're. This is genius.

[B]

Thank you. Like, it doesn't make sense. And so why is there not water coming out when you get a scrape on your knee? Why is it blood and not blood when you cry?

[A]

Guy, you might be on to some. You. I don't. I don't even know what to say.

[B]

Emotions. I think, honestly, now that I think about it, emotions aren't real, dog. They're not real. Like, how does that make sense?

[A]

Okay, you just expressed an emotion though, so that's very real.

[B]

No, but I'm choosing to. I think everything's a choice.

[A]

Okay, dead ass. You choose. You can inherently.

[B]

No, because I wake up sad as.

[A]

Oh bubba.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, but yeah, you can see if someone walked in. Don't do that. Don't do that. Stop looking at him. Fix your star. If they. If you woke up sad. So you didn't choose that?

[B]

No, I didn't.

[A]

That's just a bad morning for you. Sad day.

[B]

What's bad? It's every morning.

[A]

No, it's a great no.

[B]

But that's so no one no has an answer of why. And what the is a yawn? Are we kidding me?

[A]

No.

[B]

It's hard. I'm starting to get mad. Why? If somebody over here were to yawn right now? Why do I involuntari in my throat, bro? I close my throat. I want my throat closed. That should be my motto. Peyton's throat is closed.

[A]

We're aliens. We're aliens. You. You know, Yanni, what the.

[B]

See, if you even talk about it on somebody yawns. Oh my God, I'm magic dog. Like, no, we're all. We're emotions. Emotions. Blood and tears. Not real. Let me put that out there. It's. Nothing's real. Nothing's real.

[A]

Stick your hand up.

[B]

Okay. No, I'm saying like, say stick your hand. You know, when every. So say, like, you know in cop shows, right, or in movies when someone gets pop pop poopooed.

[A]

Pew pewdiepie, right? Somebody gets pew pew bang.

[B]

Why is there blood that comes out if we're 80% water, why is there so much blood?

[A]

Because we have blood too. There's a lot of blood in our body and we reproduce it.

[B]

If it's 80% water? How can you have 80% blood, too? That's 160% liquid in your body. What am I? Am I an aquarium? I'm a human being, dog. None of this makes sense. Who's the scientist that made this, huh? Who told us these facts? That's not in the Bible. That's not new. That's not in the new King James version. We just making all this up, bro.

[A]

You need to write a book.

[B]

I'm telling you. And no one knows.

[A]

I mean, people know. People go to school to study that stuff. But I don't know. And you're talking to me, so that's kind of. That's the brick wall we're at. But there is some people that know we need it. But that's what we need to do for you.

[B]

Where's my water tank?

[A]

I. It's like right there.

[B]

That's my heart.

[A]

It's probably somewhere near that. I would assume the heart gets thirsty at sometimes. Some hearts get thirsty for water, some gets thirsty for lust.

[B]

And why do you.

[A]

When you get.

[B]

Is it blood that goes to it and not water?

[A]

It is blood.

[B]

Why is it not water? If it's 80% water, it's blood.

[A]

But then when you get hard enough to where it's no longer something else.

[B]

So where does that come from?

[A]

Liquids.

[B]

So much in us.

[A]

Blood, water, earth, fire. And when semen.

[B]

Until the fire nation attack. I don't make. It doesn't make sense to me. I was thinking about that. I was.

[A]

Bro, you are. You are an absolute. Okay. God, my brain's all over the place. Adhd. Speaking of blood, this past weekend, we were building the nursery, and my dad hit his arm. You. You scream at my dad loud, he's gonna bleed. Thin skin. Thin skin syndrome. He just celebrated his 60th birthday.

[B]

Happy birthday, Big Mike. Shout out to that. Shout to you in that queso.

[A]

Happy birthday, Papa Mike. And Mike's famous queso. Here we go. Cuts his arm, right?

[B]

Yeah. He goes, ah, ah, ah.

[A]

I'm bleeding. I'm bleeding everywhere. He goes, go get something. Get something. I go, all right. He goes, you don't got band aids. I go, well, I gotta go look. I don't show him my pocket. He goes. He goes, you youngster. Pulls out his wallet. He goes, when you're young, you carry condoms in your wallet. When you old, you got bandaids. And he had a bandaid behind his debit card. And then in the other pocket, he pulls out a napkin, wipes the blood off, sticks the band, and goes, hand me that drill just gets right back to it. I'm like, who the hell are you?

[B]

That's the most old head shit ever to carry around bandages.

[A]

He literally said, when you're young, you carry condoms. When you're old, you carry bandits.

[B]

That's sick. Word.

[A]

And I said, you are a goblin amongst men.

[B]

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[A]

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[A]

Rip in the spirit of Halloween. This is a Halloween episode. It's spooky, it's sexy, and you got a cute little velvet bra on. But you already know what we're about to do. Actually, you don't. Here we go. We are doing Halloween trivia.

[B]

For all of our trivia, all of.

[A]

Our trivia lovers and everyone that loves to see you struggle. Here we go.

[B]

What is Halloween Trivia?

[A]

It's some simple trivia questions based around the beautiful holiday of Halloween Pumpkins. Okay. Probably one of them. First one. What is the most popular Halloween candy in the us?

[B]

Candy.

[A]

Candy.

[B]

Snickers.

[A]

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Oh, Reese's Peanut Butter cups are for.

[B]

Dude.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Little gremlins. If you eat Reese's Peanut Butter, let me know. They might throw a bag. So I might say that, but I don't. I've never had a Reese Peanut Butter Cup. I've never had a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.

[A]

The. How are you talking all this shit about it?

[B]

Cuz. Cuz they tried to market to me as a kid. They tried to market to me as a kid and I didn't. I understood. And I was like, that's a little wrong. They were like, reese's Puzzle.

[A]

Reese's Cup. Chocolate flavor.

[B]

Bravado.

[A]

In which country did Halloween originate?

[B]

Pakistan. No, we're somewhere. Somewhere medieval, like Great Britain.

[A]

Okay, that's not quite. But close.

[B]

Like somewhere gloomy and dark.

[A]

Okay, sweet. No, close, but keep going.

[B]

Austria. A lot of beer.

[A]

Ready? One, two, three.

[B]

Ireland originated Conor McGregor.

[A]

Here we go.

[B]

Here we go.

[A]

What is another name for a carved pumpkin? Use a Halloween lantern. A Jack O lantern. You forgot his government Jack O Lantern. Not just the lantern. Lantern is light. Jacks the pumpkin.

[B]

Why do we go Pumpkin jacks?

[A]

I'm not really sure. Here, we'll get you a guaranteed win.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What do people traditionally say when they go door to door on Halloween?

[B]

Trick or treat. Beautiful. My feet. Give me something good to eat.

[A]

You had jingles.

[B]

You didn't hear that? You didn't say that.

[A]

Trick or treat. Smell my feet. Give me something good to eat.

[B]

I don't care. I can tell. Your underwear. Something about.

[A]

What is this, a Salvation Army? Give me something good. They're giving you a candy.

[B]

Sounds good to eat.

[A]

You're asking for a meal. I've never heard that. I just said trick or treat.

[B]

Yeah, you're lazy. You're like. Like, I'm hungry.

[A]

Give me big back. Where's the Reese's? What mythical monster said to be repelled by silver bullets?

[B]

Frankenstein.

[A]

No, no mythical creature. Is that like the monster. A monster?

[B]

What's a mythical monster? Like Loch Ness?

[A]

No. They're repelled by silver bullet.

[B]

Bigfoot.

[A]

Repelled by silver bullet.

[B]

Iron Man. I don't know what the. I don't know what that is.

[A]

Take a guess.

[B]

I did.

[A]

It's not the Loch Ness monster, It's not Bigfoot and it's not a fuck. What'd you say? No. Frankenstein. Yeah, I'm sure you could mo Frankenstein down with an M16.

[B]

But it's not.

[A]

We're looking.

[B]

I don't. Are you recording me? No. I don't know werewolves. That's a mythical creature. Those are real. Aren't werewolves real for real?

[A]

Dead ass werewolves are real.

[B]

Yeah. No.

[A]

You know a guy named Steve? That's Harry. He's an accountant. And if a full moon strikes, he rips through his Levi's and he goes. At midnight.

[B]

No.

[A]

Are you kidding me? He's on a quest to find Van Helsing. What are you talking about? Who? You're not good with Halloween.

[B]

No, because I believe in Christ. No, but not the first part where there's a strange accountant. The actual wolf that howls at the moon, isn't that a werewolf?

[A]

That's a wolf.

[B]

What's the were part come from?

[A]

A human that turns into a due to a full moon strikes typically at midnight. They have to get find their quarter and.

[B]

No, but there's wolves that howl at the full moons.

[A]

That's a regular wolf.

[B]

What makes it were a werewolf?

[A]

A werewolf is a man or a woman that transforms into one. Read a book. Watch a movie.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Holy shit.

[B]

Well, I thought they made movies based off the actual ones.

[A]

You're the worst. You are the absolute worst. What did people originally use to make jack o? Lanterns. Not lanterns. What did people originally use to make jack o Lanterns? Before pumpkins became the norm.

[B]

So it's not pumpkins.

[A]

It's not pumpkins.

[B]

The cabbage.

[A]

Close.

[B]

Those fruit.

[A]

No, think Ireland again.

[B]

Beer.

[A]

What are they? Not beer.

[B]

They're like.

[A]

Look at that, Steve. No. Turnips and potatoes.

[B]

I don't even know what a turnip is. The Little John Turn Up. It's the only turnip I know.

[A]

Turned out for what? No. Turnips and potatoes.

[B]

What's a turnip?

[A]

A turnip.

[B]

What is that?

[A]

It's a veggie.

[B]

Not too keen on that.

[A]

Yeah. You're not.

[B]

You're not just figuring out what quinoa was the other day.

[A]

Which city in the US is known as the Halloween capital of the world?

[B]

Oh, Gotham, bro. Arkham. Take it. Halloween.

[A]

Halloween capital of the world in the US City where he won two, three.

[B]

South Central.

[A]

No.

[B]

I better get spooky out there in Halloween. Give me a bag. See? Here you go. Sorry we have to go to la.

[A]

One more guest. Ready? One, two, three.

[B]

New York. No, Keep going.

[A]

Ready? One, two, three.

[B]

Wisconsin.

[A]

Getting close, but not really. I kind of lied to you. Ready? 1, 2, 3.

[B]

Idaho. Nope.

[A]

1, 2, 3.

[B]

Florida.

[A]

No. 1, 2, 3.

[B]

Oklahoma.

[A]

Anonoka Minnesota.

[B]

Is that a real place? What's so spooky about Anonoka other than the name?

[A]

I do not know. The name sucks ass, though. All right, here we go. Next one. Now we're going to the spooky TV and movies. Here we go. In the movie Hocus Pocus, what are the. You just throw up. The hell was that? You just vomit. I said, in the movie Hocus Pocus. Ever heard of that? Hocus Pocus. Why is this triggering you? Your ass is hanging out. Oh, my God.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Those are huge, bro.

[B]

What's Hocus Pocus?

[A]

It's a movie.

[B]

What is Hocus Pocus?

[A]

In the movie Hocus Pocus. What are the Sanderson sisters first names? Close. S is one of them. Sandra, you're naming three. It's very close.

[B]

Sally.

[A]

Nah, you're getting further. Getting colder.

[B]

Sam.

[A]

You're getting colder.

[B]

Sam.

[A]

Sam, it's. No, you're getting cold. It's the same name. You said Sandra and I said close. It's like literally.

[B]

Sandra, you son of a bitch.

[A]

You're gonna change the name. You say it. It's super close.

[B]

Ready?

[A]

One, two, three.

[B]

I don't know any Sam.

[A]

It has an S. It has a. It has an R. It has a Sarah. There you go. Sarah's one of them. What are the other two?

[B]

Cj.

[A]

No.

[B]

Why'd you look at him?

[A]

I was looking at the camera.

[B]

Oh, Liv.

[A]

No. Cam Mary and Winfred.

[B]

He definitely owned people.

[A]

In what Moo. In what film does a group of friends accidentally release a curse by reading from the Book of the Dead?

[B]

Stranger Things?

[A]

No. The Evil Dead.

[B]

I don't know what that is. I don't know these.

[A]

You're. You're okay.

[B]

Don't ask me the movies. Ask me, like, two more of the not movie ones.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[B]

That's.

[A]

That's a deal. Here we go. What supernatural creature is said to lose its powers if the coffin is filled with grains or seeds?

[B]

I wasn't listening. What I did. What's it. That felt like I was in school again. I Dead ass. Did not hear a word you said. That was embarrassing. One more time. Something about seeds. I heard that. Pumpkin. Something about pumpkins. Right? I know. That was. Eyes are water. That's how good I am.

[A]

That's embarrassing. I feel bad for teachers. Holy shit.

[B]

I said boring.

[A]

As I said. What supernatural creature is said to lose its powers if the coffin is filled with grains or seeds? You look so lost.

[B]

Vampires.

[A]

There you go. A vampire.

[B]

Thought that was garlic.

[A]

No. You can kill him. With a garlic clove and a wooden pitchfork. Or a steak and a cross. With the holy word. He goes down back.

[B]

One more.

[A]

Last one. Oh, my God. Why are spiders considered lucky on Halloween?

[B]

Get eight wishes. Eight legs, eight wishes.

[A]

What are you d. Legging the arachnid. You get eight wishes.

[B]

Reckon it.

[A]

Arachnid.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why are spiders considered lucky on Halloween? Better guess. Ready? Go.

[B]

Their webs. Why are they considered?

[A]

What about their webs?

[B]

If you touch it, you get a wish.

[A]

We get a disease, you get a wish. From the er. Folklore and myth says that a spider seen on Halloween means that a spirit of a loved one is watching over you.

[B]

Oh, I don't want that.

[A]

Why?

[B]

I don't know. I don't want them watching me. I don't want Meemaw to see me.

[A]

No.

[B]

What?

[A]

No.

[B]

How long do you wait? Until after the funeral.

[A]

Oh, my God. Oh, man.

[B]

Oh, cuz, you know, she's still like, damn, I need to see him.

[A]

She's like, I need to check in, make sure my boys doing good.

[B]

You're over here.

[A]

The cow. You're hurting me. Ow. Oh, my God. Oh.

[B]

You'Re crooked.

[A]

What's like, heavy? And you're surprisingly.

[B]

In your opinion, in your opinion, what's like the default pizza?

[A]

The hell does that mean?

[B]

Like, default. Like if you're just imagining a pizza.

[A]

Pepperoni pizza. 10 times out of 10.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Pepperoni pizza. 10 times out Of 10. Default 100 pepperoni pizza.

[B]

Like if somebody from in space came down and they're like, what's pizza? What are you showing them?

[A]

100% a pepperoni pizza.

[B]

Why? So that.

[A]

That is the only right answer. Because if you just show them a cheese pizza. Circle with cheese.

[B]

That's. That's what a pizza is.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no.

[B]

That's OG pizza. That's. That's pizza that Jesus Christ made. That's what pizza was originally.

[A]

Price was giving out tilapia and bread. Fish bread. Making some water, some wine. Man, what a guy. All right.

[B]

Dead ass.

[A]

Dead ass. If you do pizza cheese pizza, default pizza pepperoni.

[B]

So when you're making a like a character online in the video game, they're not gonna have clothes on.

[A]

Holy shit.

[B]

Why would you put them in a Rick Owens outfit? That's not clothes, okay? That's not a default human pepperoni.

[A]

Equal waits to Rick Owens in your mind, then your taste buds are ass. You have the weirdest taste buds ever. You go, pepperoni, flared balencia. No. Pepperoni pizza dignifies and shows. It's a pizza no, that's a. Think about kids. Think about kids.

[B]

Think about kids.

[A]

You're talking about drawing and seeing pizza.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

If a kid drew a cheese pizza.

[B]

Yeah, it's a pizza.

[A]

It's gonna be a circle with another circle for the crust in line. Lines.

[B]

Yes, that's pizza.

[A]

If you do circle. Circle lines and throw red things on top, there's. You're never.

[B]

So if you're coloring it, you can still tell it's a cheese pizza.

[A]

Like cardboard.

[B]

No, it's not. Cam. Default pizza. Pepperoni pizza is a variation of pizza that's a variation of pizza. Cheese pizza is just pizza.

[A]

That, bro. No, that. No, no.

[B]

That's like saying margarita pizza.

[A]

No, margarita is cheese. That's a different form of cheese.

[B]

Margarita pizza is not cheese pizza. Just sauce.

[A]

Margarita pizza doesn't have cheese on it like little squares. Oh, so now it does have bastard.

[B]

No, pepperoni.

[A]

Pepperoni shows a pizza what it is.

[B]

So why wouldn't you show them an olive pizza? So if you.

[A]

If you pulled up, if you pulled up, say, matter of fact, what is the. Isn't the pizza emoji pepperoni?

[B]

I don't know, I'm. No, it's not. Is it, Is it.

[A]

Is it pepperoni? The pizza emoji Pepperoni. When you do pepperoni shops or pizza shops. Pepperoni. I'm losing my damn words. Pepperoni shows it being pizza that dignifies it. That may. That makes it something.

[B]

Pepperoni. Oh, it is.

[A]

It is.

[B]

Okay, but that's still wrong.

[A]

How the hell is that wrong?

[B]

Because just because Steve Jobs made it doesn't mean it's real.

[A]

It's still wrong youg're not hearing me. If pizza was just cheese, that's what circle of dough and bread, what was.

[B]

The first pizza ever created?

[A]

Probably pepperoni pizza.

[B]

Are you kidding me?

[A]

Okay, first pizza ever created was probably a cheese pizza.

[B]

So that's the OG Pizza you did.

[A]

That's fine. It can be OG that can be first. It doesn't mean it's the best.

[B]

I didn't say it's the best. I said what's the default default in.

[A]

If you had to show an alien pizza. Yes, you're showing him a pepperoni pizza.

[B]

So that means if somebody will show them an olive meat lovers pizza, you can't be mad at them.

[A]

That's fine. That's a bit. That's way more specific.

[B]

No, it's not.

[A]

Anytime you're at a party, what are your two options? If someone were to say, hey, we're getting pizza, do you want Blank or blank?

[B]

Cheese or pepperoni?

[A]

Okay, so those are the two.

[B]

Because greatest of all, the pepperoni is for people that are not satisfied with what Christ created.

[A]

You're back on this. On the. On this biblical time. I don't think he was eating pizza.

[B]

Well, he could have been.

[A]

No, I don't think so. I wasn't there. Pizza. You were not there, and neither was I. Pepperoni pizza shows that it's pizza, shows what it's here for, and shows you're not here to play cheese pizza's ass. You're either nine years old or you have bad taste buds.

[B]

Pizza always reminds me of, like. Like good times at a friend's house.

[A]

What. What the did that mean?

[B]

What was that pizza always reminds me of? You're staying up a little too late looking at things you shouldn't.

[A]

Oh, like you watch the door and you watch the window. I'll watch the screen. Wait, wait.

[B]

What the. What'd you do? You're.

[A]

Wait.

[B]

Friend hangouts. Wait, no, I wasn't looking at that.

[A]

Wait, what were you talking about?

[B]

It's like watching, like, rated R movies. Oh, you're watching rated X movie. Dude, that's creepy.

[A]

If you did 4K. Sorry, no. 100%.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

The first time I was ever introduced, my friend. Literally.

[B]

I don't need to know.

[A]

Yeah, that's the Internet. Probably shouldn't either.

[B]

Let's go into.

[A]

That's. That's bad.

[B]

Since it's Halloween.

[A]

That's bad.

[B]

A lot of people are gonna be upset that, you know, their. Their loved one is at a Halloween party, their crush is at a Halloween party, and they're not invited. Their crush is in that skimpy little dress. Boy, I'm gonna be hurt. Just kidding. I'm not. I'm covered.

[A]

Geico Insurance.

[B]

We're here, but I think it's time to bring back the world's best love, doctor.

[A]

And there's only one way to bring him in, especially on a Halloween episode.

[B]

Let's do it. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. All.

[A]

Right, doctor, we're here. Lord.

[B]

Hey, I got. I am Dr. P. And it's been a long time since I've been back on here, and I brought Secretary Ruby.

[A]

You brought another secretary? Do I still have my job?

[B]

Depending. I like her a lot more.

[A]

Okay. She's cute. And her eyes seem to be closing ever so slightly.

[B]

Look at her go. She's sleepy.

[A]

She's cute. She looks like. She looks like a Cornish hen.

[B]

You're a Cornish hand, Ruby.

[A]

All right, in the. In the. In the sake of it being Halloween in a very spooky episode. If you don't mind, we're gonna. We're gonna go with two different case studies, okay? Okay. First one simply reads. Me and this boy I like have been flirting a lot.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

And passing notes all throughout class. He says he has a girlfriend, but I don't really give a shit. What should I do?

[B]

Hey. First of all, you're a sick, sick woman. But let's put this out there, right? Think about the day and age we're in. Day of age. Day and age.

[A]

Day and age.

[B]

Day and age we're in, Right? All these people that are in school, right? You're not leaving, secretary. Come on. All these people, they have iPhones, they have smartphones. The fact that he's going out of his way to write a handwritten note instead of texting her in class. Ass. He likes her.

[A]

But that's also probably to a method of cya. Cover your ass.

[B]

Oh, my God. I didn't even think about that. He is so.

[A]

There is no evidence in the phone. Well, look.

[B]

Yeah, you have no loyalty to that girl. You have no loyalty to his girlfriend. If you like him, though, just know the same way you got him is the same way you lose them. He's going to be passing notes to somebody else while he's talking to you.

[A]

Hell, I'd venture the second he leaves fifth period, he's passing to some shorty in sixth period.

[B]

Oh, yeah. So as long as you're not naive and think. Thinking that you're the only one he's doing this with, enjoy your time. If you're just trying to ruffle some feathers, if you're just trying to get a couple smooches in, then you're. Then you're fine. But if you like this guy, you're in a. You're in a deep hell. You are. You are. You never.

[A]

Seventh layer.

[B]

You better. You better train for the Olympics because you're gonna go into deep waters with that one. And he's going to break your heart. And you're kind of a piece of. Let me say that you don't care that he has a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Fine. Don't expect him to care that you're his girlfriend whenever you make it. So there you go. But I like it. You know, Dr. P is all for toxicity, right, Secretary Rubes?

[A]

Oh, she agrees. I believe the secretary agrees. She looks quite tired. All right, second one. First one is. That was wicked, by the way, but a beautiful synopsis. Second one does, in fact, have to do with Halloween. Okay. Dear Dr. P, hello. This time of year always scares me due to Halloween parties. Uh, oh, and I have a quick story for you. Last year at Halloween, my girlfriend said she was going to a party with some of her girlfriends.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

And I said, perfect. Be safe, have fun.

[B]

Good boyfriend, secure man.

[A]

However, she told me that she was dressing as Willy Wonka to be funny. But I saw on one of her friends Snapchat stories at the party later that night. She was in a skimpy cat outfit with the pointy ears, wearing lace. This caused a very big argument and a fight, as you can only assume. So my question is, she asked me if she could go to a Halloween party again this year with the same group of friends. How do I avoid this becoming a big fight?

[B]

Let me put this out.

[A]

Good God.

[B]

Hey, brother. I hope you got some friends, dog. All your dogs need to just rally around you. I'm telling you, something got spooky that Halloween 4.

[A]

Oh, boy.

[B]

That cat found some milk, if you know what I'm talking about. That cat went to the litter box.

[A]

That cat had some cat name.

[B]

Golly. Listen, brother, we've all been there. I don't know if I have. I have, okay? Sucks.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You see that?

[A]

You've been there. My girl says one thing, you see some completely opposite.

[B]

I just see. I just. In Austin, I'm well connected. You can't lie to me. In Austin.

[A]

You got. You got eyes and ears.

[B]

I got eyes and ears everywhere.

[A]

Good man.

[B]

I found out you're not where you said you were. That's a different party. I know that apartment. I know exactly where that man lives. I know exactly who that man is. I know his Social Security and what? His parents. His parents. And I know his parents. And they left you. So let me put that out there. That's a personal story.

[A]

Yeah. That sounded a bit deep. That sounded like it came from, like, guttural.

[B]

But I'm saying this to say, look, bro, she's not yours. She is.

[A]

Ours is a community cat.

[B]

He is a stray cat. But look, bro, first of all, this guy has a lot of security.

[A]

A lot of security. I was going to give him his props.

[B]

The fact. And first of all, why is he not at this party?

[A]

Yeah, like, are you not getting invited, dog? That's what I was going to say. Is that a red flag in itself?

[B]

Let me tell you something. And I've been this. When I was getting cheated on, I was never invited to, like, parties or, like, stuff. But I was so in, deeply in love like, oh yeah, I'm the secure guy. Like you go have fun with your friends. But if your girl, like actually like I've known, cuz I've experienced girls, I actually like me after that. And they want to bring me everywhere. And I've learned if they don't want to bring you everywhere, they don't like you, then it's just like. And there is times where they just want to have girl time. That's fine. But if it's a thing like these Halloween, why am I not invited this Halloween party? Like I can dress up and why have I never met the guy or girl or whoever that's throwing this party?

[A]

Well, he didn't specify that. He didn't say that.

[B]

But I'm saying yeah. If I do know them and they're still not inviting me, that's weird.

[A]

That's very strange.

[B]

But if I don't know them, why am I. Do I not know them? How do you know them?

[A]

Oh my God. What if, what if he does know all the people? They did invite him, but they just hit the girls like, hey, you and. You and Evan should totally come. And she was like, bet. She was like, evan, I'm going to this party. You're gonna sit your ass there and play college football.

[B]

I saw a tick tock the other day and it was. I saw. No, I saw it this morning. It was this tick tock and I think it was a troll. And I, I pray it is because God bless this man. He was like, spend the night with me to clean my girlfriend's apartment while she's at a frat party. I can't go because I can't, like, I'm not, that I'm not allowed into. He kissed this girl. She was going over their girlfriends. He was in there cleaning her apartment, dog. And I'm like, no.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

We just like our brothers and arms, brother. We just gotta.

[A]

We got a band together.

[B]

We got a band together. It is, it is nasty out here.

[A]

Hey look bro, final synopsis, final guy.

[B]

If it were me, I would say you gotta grab your. You gotta grab what you own, what's left of it. Hold what you got and bite the bullet of being like, I'm leaving. No, no, no. Bite the bullet of you leaving this girl. I know it's gonna hurt and it's gonna suck and you're gonna have. And she, she, she's gonna pretend to be really sad, give it a week. She's out and she's not gonna feel any kind of shame at these parties. I know. For guys that have toxic girlfriends, the worst time of the year is summer. The first summer vacation, Halloween. And that first weekend of Christmas break when everybody comes back to their hometown.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And they go out to the bars. Oh, man, that's the worst time.

[A]

Yeah. How's your semester going? Oh, pretty good. What are your grades like? Oh, how are yours? Oh, God. Yeah, bro.

[B]

I'd say, you gotta leave, brother. Or I wouldn't say just up and leave and be like. Just sit down. And you gotta know the back. Your mind. She is. Her catnip is being eaten, okay? So you got to talk to her and just be like, look. Which is fine. She has the right to. She's wrong, but she has the right to. You'd be like, hey, babe, why am I not invited to these parties? Why can't I go to these parties?

[A]

Can you?

[B]

Like, but don't come over. Like, don't be, like. Don't be, like, aggressive with it. Just.

[A]

His question was, how does he bring it up without it starting a fight?

[B]

Hey, hey, can I come to these? Like, why am I not invited to these parties? Oh, you don't know them. Well, I think if we're together, I think it would be nice to introduce you to your friends. Like, we could all hang.

[A]

I don't really want to, Clarence.

[B]

And I'll be like, well, I don't really want to be with you.

[A]

Yeah. She goes, that's all right. Your week, and I'm out of here.

[B]

Well, mute the D word. But, yeah, that's. Hey, hey, hold on.

[A]

Oh. Oh, boy.

[B]

Let's all.

[A]

Oh, boy.

[B]

Brothers and live, sleep. But let's all brothers together just hold hands and have a moment of saying.

[A]

What was his name I just made up? Evan. I'm not gonna send it out there.

[B]

Evan. Us men here and us men at the youe Should Know podcast. Moment of silence for you, brother. We love you. And it wasn't ever just yours.

[A]

Stray cat.

[B]

You let that stray cat have a box to live in.

[A]

You'll find a better cat, Evan.

[B]

You'll find a cat at a shelter.

[A]

You'll find a cat that appreciates you and your litter box.

[B]

You'll find a cat that will eat your food and nobody else's.

[A]

There you go. Right now, that cat is. That cat is out there.

[B]

You just. For right now, you just leave some. You leave trash out. That cat will eat it.

[A]

That cat is feral. That is a straight. That is a neighborhood cat. That cat can. Boy, that cat can climb a fire escape.

[B]

You. You find that cat at 1am and you put your car light on, and it will run away.

[A]

That cat can get in and out like hell. That cat's sleeping on the tire. That cat's waiting for a ride. That cat is a master of Das.

[B]

That cat will run away, and we'll go 17 miles down the road, but it'll find its way home.

[A]

Hell, I bet that cat's spotless. I bet that cat's clean. That's a clean cat. Where'd your hand go? Where'd your hand go? That cat. That cat. Dad, that. That's a cat. That is a. That's a cat, man. Evan. That. Evan. That cats had a couple owners. Dog. That's. That cat gets out the back, gets out the old doggy door. The cat's got nine lives. That cat used one of them. Getting over the fence, got eight left. That cat goes to the next neighborhood. That cat's crawling down the street, getting in the backyard, brother.

[B]

Amen.

[A]

Amen. Amen. Yeah. Amen. Amen.

[B]

Amen. And that was God. Evan. Dr. B. Dr. B. Dr. B. Not to pee.

[A]

Yeah. All right, Halloween, episode 2024.

[B]

You come over here because I don't want to cut to your camera. And seriously, come over here for the announcement.

[A]

She's pregnant. Sorry.

[B]

No, it's okay. If you want to see more of baby cj, we're gonna shoot an extended episode with these costumes on how you survive. Right there. Just get close to him, Cam. Get us out of here.

[A]

All right, everybody. First off, Mermaid man and Barnacle Boy unite. And wham. You big baby. All right, everybody. We absolutely love y'all. Remember this Halloween, if you have kids, make sure you go with them. If you're old enough, do not be rude to the younger kids. And no matter your age, always check your candy. Be safe. Unfortunately, we got some evil people out there. Check that candy before you eat it.

[B]

Don't throw rocks at windows.

[A]

Don't throw rocks. You said don't throw rocks at windows. Don't throw rocks. Don't throw eggs. Just go enjoy the spirit of Halloween and be safe and get back to your house safe if you're drinking.

[B]

Going to Halloween party?

[A]

Uber, yes or later. Stay the night. Something like that. Have a dd. Make sure you're safe and responsible because we love y'all and we cannot wait to see you next week. So we need you back safe and men.

[B]

Don't be creeps at Halloween party.

[A]

Do not be creeps just because you are. We're gonna whoop up on you.

[B]

And I say just Because. Because if a woman's wearing a rather revealing and pretty outfit, that does that not mean yes?

[A]

That doesn't give you a damn right. That doesn't give you a right to do nothing. You sit there and you eat your Reese's and you drink your Miller Light. Anyway, we absolutely love y'all. Thank you for coming back to the Halloween special. We cannot wait to see you next week. Confuse the casuals and get your good karma with this week's secret code GCS gangsta Halloween section. What is glucose corn syrup?

[B]

Glucose corn syrup. Glucose corn syrup.

[A]

Glucose corn syrup. It's really going to confuse the people. We absolutely love y'all. Leave it in the TikTok. Leave it on Instagram, leave it on Facebook. Leave it here. Glucose corn syrup. Have a happy Halloween and we cannot wait to see you next week.

[B]

And remember, 1 out of 10 koala bears don't make it home to Christmas. And we will see you next time.

[A]

It's a big ass baby. Big baby.

[B]

A lot of special guests coming on the episode. RDC World. Kane Brown. See you soon.