DREAMING OF MY BEST FRIENDS BODY! -You Should Know Podcast

Summary

You Should Know Podcast: "DREAMING OF MY BEST FRIENDS BODY!" – Episode 152 Summary

Released on February 17, 2025 by Wood Elf Media

In Episode 152 of the You Should Know Podcast, hosts Peyton Hardin and Cameron Kennedy delve into personal reflections, friendship dynamics, fatherhood, and humorous anecdotes, all framed around Peyton's 26th birthday celebration. This detailed summary captures the essence of their candid conversation, highlighting key discussions, insightful moments, and memorable quotes.

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1. Celebrating Peyton's Birthday

The episode kicks off with Peyton announcing it’s his birthday, setting a festive and celebratory tone.

• Peyton [01:07]: "You Should Know podcast episode 152. My birthday episode. Round of applause please."
• Cameron [03:05]: "Happy birthday to you."

Peyton engages listeners, encouraging them to share the episode with friends as a birthday gift and promoting the podcast's Patreon community, the Koala Club.

2. Friendship and Life Changes

Peyton and Cameron discuss how their lives have evolved, particularly with Cameron becoming a father, which has subtly changed their friendship dynamics.

• Cameron [04:13]: "Week three of being a father. How are we feeling?"
• Peyton [08:20]: "Our relationship isn't the same anymore. I talk to you less. I kind of like you less. Unless you're a father."

They explore the challenges of maintaining close friendships amidst significant life changes, blending humor with genuine concern.

3. Fatherhood and Family Interactions

A substantial portion of the conversation revolves around Cameron’s experiences as a new father and how it affects his interactions with Peyton and his family.

• Cameron [04:13]: "Things are getting more sustainable, more routine-esque. And it's getting better."
• Peyton [07:14]: "He’s sleeping and dreaming."

They humorously speculate on scenarios involving Cameron’s son, Malachi, and the potential impacts on their friendship.

• Peyton [05:27]: "If CJ was with you at 16, he's still your roommate in a much bigger house."
• Cameron [15:17]: "I watched him dream. He has dreams, dude."

4. Balancing Personal Lives and Podcast Commitments

The hosts reflect on balancing their personal lives with their commitment to the podcast, sharing stories from recent gatherings and parties.

• Peyton [11:28]: "We had a Super Bowl party last week."
• Cameron [12:24]: "My alcohol intake is different now. I haven't drunk a lot since I had Junior, but it's fantastic."

They discuss the dynamics of hosting parties and the humorous mishaps that ensue, emphasizing the importance of maintaining their bond despite changes.

5. Anecdotes and Humorous Stories

Throughout the episode, Peyton and Cameron share a variety of funny and relatable stories, ranging from awkward social interactions to amusing observations about parenting and daily life.

• Peyton [16:24]: "We saw a kid posing for candids. He was ridiculously trying to get the perfect shot."
• Cameron [25:00]: "Montoya crashed out, going after his lover in the most dramatic way."

These anecdotes serve to entertain listeners while showcasing the hosts' chemistry and storytelling abilities.

6. Lighthearted Debates and Banter

The duo engages in playful debates on topics like dream interpretations, pet ownership, and personal habits, highlighting their ability to balance humor with meaningful dialogue.

• Peyton [37:38]: "Babies can't dream, bro."
• Cameron [38:14]: "My newborn son dreams. There's absolutely nothing you can say to prove that wrong."

Their banter extends to quirky topics like favorite candies and hypothetical situations, keeping the conversation lively and engaging.

7. Reflections on Personal Habits and Preferences

Peyton and Cameron explore their personal preferences and habits, offering listeners a glimpse into their everyday lives and personalities.

• Cameron [54:22]: "Someone had a burger, but I think..."
• Peyton [55:04]: "Fruit Roll Ups are not candy."

These segments are infused with humor, reinforcing the hosts' dynamic and relatable nature.

8. Closing Thoughts and Future Plans

As the episode wraps up, Peyton and Cameron reflect on their friendship's evolution and express gratitude towards their listeners.

• Cameron [89:31]: "Thank every single one of you for coming back to another week's episode."
• Peyton [90:26]: "Next time."

They hint at upcoming content on their Patreon platform, promising extended and exclusive episodes for their dedicated audience.

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Notable Quotes:

• Peyton [03:05]: "Happy birthday to you."
• Cameron [08:20]: "I talk to you less. I kind of like you less. Unless you're a father."
• Cameron [15:17]: "He has dreams, dude."
• Peyton [16:24]: "We saw a kid posing for candids. He was ridiculously trying to get the perfect shot."
• Cameron [37:38]: "My newborn son dreams. There's absolutely nothing you can say to prove that wrong."

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Conclusion

Episode 152 of the You Should Know Podcast offers a heartfelt and humorous exploration of friendship, fatherhood, and personal growth. Peyton and Cameron's authentic conversations and playful interactions provide both entertainment and relatable insights, making it a memorable installment for long-time listeners and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[A]

I can say to my new Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra, hey, find a keto friendly restaurant nearby and text it to Beth and Steve. And it does without me lifting a finger so I can get in more squats anywhere I can. 1, 2, 3 will that be cash or credit? Credit. 4 Galaxy S25 Ultra the AI companion that does the heavy lifting so you can do. You get [e-mail] compatible with select apps. Requires Google Gemini account Results may vary based on input. Check responses for accuracy Um, I think I just won my taxes. Yeah, I just switched to H and R Block in about one minute. All I had to do was drag and drop last year's return into H and R Block and bam. My information is automatically there so I don't have to go digging around for all my old papers to switch. Nope. Sounds like we just leveled up our tax game.

[B]

Switching to H and R Block is easy.

[A]

Just drag and drop your last return.

[B]

It's better with block the you Should Know Podcast hey everybody, welcome to the.

[A]

You Should Know podcast episode 152. My birthday episode. Round of applause please.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Thank you. Hey everybody, welcome back to the you should know podcast episode 152. The birthday episode. If you are new here or if you haven't already, you look below, you see subscribe button isn't pressed. You're wrong. If you leave even more below that you see the comment sections are fulfilled with your name. Guess what? Even more wrong. Go ahead and fill that out. I'm gonna make this intro all about me because it's my birthday. I'm 26. I'm a year closer to the end. We're almost. I'm just kidding. Thank you guys so much for coming back to you should Know podcast. I love you so much. All I'm asking for you. This intro is Dr. Something in the comment section. If you want to give me a birthday gift, all you got to do is Share this with 3 friends today Share this episode with 3 friends and if you want even bigger birthday present for me, head over to that koala club, the Patreon. Join any tier you would like. We have so much content over there and it is just growing and growing and growing. Actually this last week the whole team made a huge huge visit somewhere and it could really really boost the Patreon in the next coming months. So if you want to join the quality club, see everything that's going on over there. See the ad free and uncensored episodes as well as the new games, all the extended episodes. 10 Minute Talks with Mama live, the vlogs, everything. Early access to tour tickets. It will be over there at the Koala club. We love you so, so much. We're on the road to 1 million subscribers. I love you. Enjoy the rest of the episode. Not to the rest. Episode. The you should know podcast. We got co host Gam back in the studio.

[B]

It's your birthday. It's your birthday. It's your birthday.

[A]

I don't like how this has started.

[B]

It's your birthday.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you. Happy birthday to me.

[B]

Happy birthday to you. As of yesterday, today is no longer your birthday. Nothing is special about today. It's a regular day.

[A]

That's okay. Well, well, your day. Your birthday falls on tax day. So every time you celebrate a new year life, everybody's very disappointed.

[B]

Everyone is depressed and mad. But I have something to quickly point out. Your legs. Dry as. Okay, we're gonna get right into it. Pull those jeans up. My God, Peyton. And your sock is yellow. Get some new sock. You know what? No. Okay. I already gave you your gift. But we're gonna. Actually, I did.

[A]

You haven't yet. In real time, you have it. I have.

[B]

Not in real time.

[A]

But you should have brought it today.

[B]

I don't have it. I don't have it yet. It's still coming.

[A]

Oh, so you still haven't got me my gift?

[B]

No, it's coming in. It's just not. I had to get it via online. Can't really. Can't control the commerce world, buddy. I can just click buy and then I got to wait. What can I say? But I'm going to get you a lotion and some white socks. What do you say?

[A]

Why not black socks?

[B]

Because I like white socks better.

[A]

I bet you do.

[B]

I bet I do too. White socks for the end. For the win. Till the end.

[A]

How have you been? How was your week, Bubba? Week three of being a father. How are we feeling?

[B]

My God. It's good. It's slowly getting better. Things are becoming more. More sustainable, more routine esque. And it's getting better. I cannot complain.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How's your third week of being your uncle been?

[A]

It's great. I love it. Anytime you FaceTime me, I'm immediately like, show me Malachi.

[B]

You are.

[A]

And me and him. Me and Malachi have some kind of like, thing going on already. We have some kind of relationship. Because yesterday it was late night, like 10.

[B]

It was like 11:11.

[A]

Me and camera FaceTiming. He was holding Malachi. He was holding his son. And. And so Cam was trying to Put him down, like, go to sleep. And so Malachi was drifting, right? And Cam was really fighting for Malachi to just close his eyes. He would close his eyes, but every time Cam would put the phone on him to show me, Malachi would be.

[B]

Like, yeah, he did a gun one time. The other time, he said he was like. He was throwing up. Just gangsters.

[A]

Yeah, bro. So it would be, like, anytime, like, Cam would turn his head. Malachi and me had this little thing going on.

[B]

Y'all got a connection.

[A]

I'm telling you, we're. He isn't a pod.

[B]

Now, let's just go down that road real quick.

[A]

Let's go down the road. Is it gravel or is it granite?

[B]

It's rock. Yellow bridge, rocky road. I'm not talking ice cream. But let's say when he's 16.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he comes to you. Right? We've kind of done some of these before, but we're going to change it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He's 16 years old. He comes to you and he goes, I hate my parents. I want to live with you.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

What do you say?

[A]

Can't happen.

[B]

Why not?

[A]

Don't love you that much.

[B]

You're going to betray him?

[A]

That's not betrayal.

[B]

In his darkest hour, you're going to let my son down? He hates me. He hates my wife. You're his only source of light. You and Christ. But he's 16. He doesn't have a job yet. Maybe. Maybe he does. And he can't buy his own stuff, so he has to go live with someone that loves him.

[A]

Why would he hate y'all?

[B]

Devil's advocate. I don't know.

[A]

Well, for honest. You want the honest answer or the funny answer?

[B]

Let's go. Funny.

[A]

First, I'd be like, I hate him, too. I'd be like, no, I completely understand.

[B]

You go move it. I'll kick CJ out.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, CJ.

[B]

CJ's living with you when he's 16.

[A]

I've done something horribly wrong.

[B]

Failed.

[A]

Something has gone so wrong.

[B]

Oh, my God. Oh, no. But to hell with Malachi. Let's go down that road.

[A]

Why?

[B]

If CJ was with you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In 16 years. Still is your roommate in presumably a much bigger house.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Presumably more responsibilities in life. You'll probably be married with kids. He might be married with kids.

[A]

What is this? Full house and my God named John Stamos. What is happening?

[B]

Let's say. Let's say CJ fell off the wagon. Never found love. Okay, so he doesn't have love. Never experienced it. He's not in love.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He's very unloving creature.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But unlovable. But you found love, Have a wife.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You have two gorgeous children.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

Okay. All in your house, but that last bedroom down the hall.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

You hear? No, get down. He's coming behind you. He's coming behind you. Dudes, swap it out. I just bought the 80. The 80. 80. It shouldn't be lagging. You hear that at the end of the hallway, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What are your thoughts? Do you have. Do you have that dawning moment you just wake up and go, what did I do?

[A]

No. I would honestly live in misery. Like, every day. Every wake up, I go downstairs and I'd hear the lotion thing going. I'm like, what's happening? I'd be like, my water bill so high, he's washing his hands every four minutes. I'm like, damn it, dude.

[B]

But.

[A]

But he's washing his hair to go take pictures of me. Like, what's happening?

[B]

Making you late. But, yeah, your kids love him. Don't care so much.

[A]

Don't care.

[B]

And they take some stress off you because they take their problems, worries and concerns to Uncle.

[A]

No, I wouldn't want that. I would be like, please don't go to cj.

[B]

Don't go to CJ for advice. He'd sit there. Well, you think about it. You know, your dad kind of actually helped me with these problems. We were younger. Funny story, but I gotta go play that.

[A]

Yeah, no, it would be. That would be a bad thing. But that would be really bad. One thing I need to say, like, I'm adjusting. Like, our lives have changed, right? Like. Like our relationship isn't the same anymore. I talk to you less. I kind of like you less. Unless you're a father.

[B]

No, don't.

[A]

Don't say that.

[B]

Do not say that.

[A]

I do.

[B]

Do not say that. There's a lot of hurting my heart.

[A]

Well, see, that's kind of the thing. I'm getting into it.

[B]

I'm hurting your heart.

[A]

No. Since you became a father, you are so soft now.

[B]

I am. It's like.

[A]

It's like, you know, me and Cam, we've been friends for almost a decade, right? And we have this thing down, like how we make jokes to each other. I know what he finds funny. He knows what I find funny. And we'll just. Our thing is saying the wildest things to each other. We'll keep warning up until it's like, okay.

[B]

It's just like, all right, this has gone too far.

[A]

We'll Be at ground level, like, base level. I'll do level one. Insensitive joke. And Cam's like, come on, man. Like, that's a community, like you. Like, that's a marginalized group, man. And, you know their families don't like.

[B]

To be fighting for them. Not making jokes. Oh, my God, dude.

[A]

And it's like. Like, first of all, pick up the water bottle you brought in today, okay? You sassy.

[B]

What's wrong with my wallet? I've never seen you drink out of something like that. What's wrong with my walla? It's a fantastic bo.

[A]

Non.

[B]

Sponsored for multiple reasons. One clip right there. You can take it with you.

[A]

Two, Kim, we don't need succinct. You're giving them a lot of free promo right now.

[B]

And three, you can pour or sip. It's a fantastic.

[A]

I'm just saying, like, it is a multicolored water bottle, bro. Like, I literally. I went on a date the other day. I went on a date, right? First date. You know about it.

[B]

Yeah, it was fantastic.

[A]

Cam literally called me before the date. He goes, hey, please send me pictures, okay?

[B]

What?

[A]

No, no, no. You shut the hell up. You go. He goes, please send me pictures. And I was like. Of what? He goes, y'all having fun?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I said, cam, okay.

[B]

One. I asked for a picture, not multiple. I said, send me a picture of y'all. I want to smile. Is that too much to ask for? I am. I am deeply running out of sleep. My brain is swelling. And I love you and love the fact that you are loving your love affair right now, and I want to see you having fun. What the hell is wrong with that?

[A]

Straight. We. We've. I've been on hundreds of dates since I've known you.

[B]

Exact.

[A]

So you've never asked me for that. You never even really cared that much.

[B]

Now, that's not true. I. I knew some of them would just be like.

[A]

That'S not true. Don't put that on my.

[B]

That's not true. But I. A son might have done something to my soul, dude. It might have softened it. It's still the same, Cam. I'm still macho Man. It's not right.

[A]

No.

[B]

Right. I go, right? Please.

[A]

Yeah. It's just. It's just different.

[B]

It's not different. Name. Okay? Name one more thing, you jackass. I'm so sorry.

[A]

I've named two already. You can't joke the same way anymore.

[B]

Yes, I can.

[A]

You asked me to send pictures of.

[B]

Dates of you having fun.

[A]

Yeah. And I said, why? And you're like, you being happy makes me happy. And I said, you don't get that shit out of here.

[B]

Exactly. It's a. It's a brotherly love. You being. You being happy, you chasing this thing that you just haven't quite got that your soul is yearning for. It makes me. It fills my cup. All right? And I wanted to see your crooked smile in action. Sue me.

[A]

And then. So.

[B]

I love you so much. I wanted it to be documented.

[A]

And we had a Super bowl party this last week, right?

[B]

Yes, dude.

[A]

The super bowl started at what, 5, 35, 35, 30. Cam gets at the house, like, 4:45, right? He's there for 25 minutes. At 5:00, he goes, hey, man, I get sniped at 5, dog. He was like, I'm gonna go down for a nap. I said, we have liters of alcohol in here. We have a bartender in my garage right now, and you're talking about a goddamn nap?

[B]

Dude, it comes quick. It's like 5 o'clock every day. I don't know what it is. 5 o'clock is when I get absolutely. Just shot with a poison dart of sleepiness, dude. Four, 4:59. I'm like, this 5:00, I go. I start getting really loopy, and I'm like, oh, man, it must be five. Then I crack an energy drink, and hopefully I'm good from there. You drink or coffee? It's kind of wicked. I'm drinking at 5pm but it's all good.

[A]

Yeah. No, and your. Your alcohol intake is different now.

[B]

Like, I haven't drank a lot since I've had Junior, but it's fantastic.

[A]

I know, bro. But it's normally, like, you're my shot buddy. Like, let's go shots. Let's take shots. You're like. You're like, I'll take a small margarita. And I'm like, what?

[B]

Keep it skinny.

[A]

Yeah, like what, brother? You're different, okay?

[B]

The. The drinking companionship is. It could be seen from two different lenses. I might have not been drinking as much. I got to work my way back, and you might be so much drowning in alcohol that it's hard for anyone to be on par with you. So let's talk about that into the super bowl party at 445. The ball's not in the air for another hour. You're four shots in now. You're supposed to have fun.

[A]

It's my party.

[B]

It's your house. You don't got to drive nowhere. I love that for you. But when you can't even say my name without slurring it before kickoff happens, we might have problems.

[A]

I had a hundred dollar bet on the kickoff.

[B]

And you won.

[A]

And I won.

[B]

Did he pay you?

[A]

Yeah, 100%. Immediately? Yeah. I had a full bar downstairs and Cam went to it twice.

[B]

I did not go to it twice. I took three tequila shots. Three. And I had three. But I only finished like half of the last of the margaritas.

[A]

It sits okay.

[B]

Three margaritas, three tequila shots.

[A]

You're different.

[B]

That's decent. And about three Red Bulls. Like, just the Red Bulls. I really was tired and I had to stay awake. Fun party, though.

[A]

It was fun party. It was fun.

[B]

Very fun. Vlog coming out.

[A]

This, I don't know.

[B]

Vlogs coming out soon.

[A]

It's coming out. There's a vlog in Koala Club coming out soon. One thing also, last thing about you as a father. This is all things that have been just going through my mind these past couple weeks since you've been. No, it's more of a negative thought process. Well, I'm gonna take you off my emergency contact.

[B]

Why is that?

[A]

You do not answer the phone anymore.

[B]

Okay, I have explicit. Shut up here. So I have explicit instructions unless emergent. Now, now, that's. Now that's where the problem lies. Yes, if it's an emergency, I wouldn't know and I didn't answer. Now you're dead. But yes, if you didn't die and it's not an emergency. If I do not answer my phone, I am more than likely holding my son, either attempting to put him down or feeding him or just something to where my. My hand isn't free. That's typically what. Like, honestly, you have to think. He eats every two and a half to three hours. So he eats the whole process. Takes an hour. He goes down for an hour, and he's doing it again.

[A]

Do you see what I have to deal with? Like, where is the fun? Like, where is the. Where is the person I can look to now?

[B]

Me. I'm still here.

[A]

I can.

[B]

Yes, you can.

[A]

I can't. There used to be, like the biggest thing, the first thing, like, if anything happened in the world, first person I'd call. Cam. You can still do something happened in my life. I do. And you know what I get? Hold on real quick, bro. And then I get six hours later, a phone call. And I'm like, cam, I don't care to talk to you anymore.

[B]

And you know what? You're the only person in this world that I. Holding him. I'm like this. I see a phone. I go, hold on real quick. And instead of this, I go, all right, buddy, come on. Come on. Let's get. I gotta answer that phone. Get that burp out. He's like. He said they're burping his life away. And I go, oh, if you're tired.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Sweet dreams. What's up, bro? And I call you back with speed and efficiency.

[A]

Does it. Do you think. Right. Do you think there is improvements to make on our friendship?

[B]

Like, my God.

[A]

Like, do you think that?

[B]

Do I. Do I think that?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes. I'll say yes.

[A]

Are you gonna make that conscious effort.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

To please me?

[B]

Oh, my God. Can you make that conscious effort to love me? I don't know. I don't know. Yes, I will. I'm sorry. It's your birthday. That'll be. That's my second gift. I'll parlay that.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You're starting 26 years of age, and I'm gonna. I'm gonna make your 26 special. Your whole year.

[A]

Yeah. I am 26.

[B]

Verbally and orally. Mm. Yep. With words, words and words.

[A]

You could orally please me. College was a fun time.

[B]

Twisted. Oh, my God. Speak. Okay. This kid has nothing to do with college. But that reminded me, I saw a kid that might have been college age in. We were in some store. Oh, Kroger. Kroger. This kid. I kid you not. I watched someone demand their friend to take pictures of him in a Kroger.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

And he was purposely creating candids. Normally, that's. No, that's fine. Yeah. You don't do it on aisle eight. Okay. You've never took pictures next to tortillas. So this kid was genuinely like. He was like, bro, just wait, wait. I'm gonna turn my shoulder. And you gotta capture this. He's holding, like, bread, and he goes. He was, like, pausing, and I was like. And I. I sat there and I acted like I was on my phone. I was, like, leaning over the car, and I was on my phone. I was like this. Just stalking him. And he. I don't know what he was doing. It was probably the cringiest thing I've seen in a minute, though, because he was. It wasn't like when you and me do candids, it's like, all right, just fidget a little bit, and if something ends up looking good, it'll look good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This kid was posing for the candid.

[A]

Yeah. You can't pose for a candidate.

[B]

All right, bro, just wait. Go a little more to the left. He's like, all right. I was like, oh, it was awful.

[A]

Did it look good?

[B]

No. Did the kid look good?

[A]

No, the pictures.

[B]

He's handsome, but, like, a kid was sharp, but did the pictures look good?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What, did I steal his phone?

[A]

I don't know. You know what I don't like, though?

[B]

What?

[A]

Like, I hate when. And it's not on them. It's more of a me thing. I hate when strangers ask me to take pictures for them.

[B]

Now why?

[A]

I have shaky hand syndrome, and I'm six seven. Like, the angle is going to, like, going to be like. Like, they're like. It's normally when I'm out at a bar or like a. Like a festival or somewhere.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

In a group. Especially girls, because they're so specific about how they want their picture. Oh, my God. And do not give me instructions on how to take the picture with the aperture.

[B]

No.

[A]

Turn it a little bit.

[B]

I'm not hitting portrait. I'm not using your level and grid, and I'm damn sure not touching exposure. I'm clicking the middle.

[A]

Yeah. It's like, okay, you're posing, Bow. And what I do is I'll take it. I'll take like, 10. I go, Hey, I took 10 and I'm walking like, you even have a bad. You can't tell me we're retaking.

[B]

You're gone.

[A]

At some point, I'm gonna want compensation for what? I just like this.

[B]

I took 10. But you hold out both hands. One has her phone, one's empty. You go. You're like, that'd be fun, dude. Taking pictures. One time I took a picture of a couple, and they. They like, actually let me know that they didn't like the picture. And like, you just said it was like a worst nightmare. Yeah, like, I did not know what. How to go in that conversation. I took it and they're like, oh, that's just not good. I was like, I don't know, maybe someone else should take it. They're like, well, no, you can try again.

[A]

Yeah, they.

[B]

They told me I can try again.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I can also walk the away right now, is what I can do, Susie. So I tried again. They're like, yeah, that'll do. I. You picky little bastards, dude.

[A]

Yeah, so speaking of pictures, me and CJ went to our friend birthday party at Komodo in Dallas. And so at Komodo, there's like this outside balcony, right? There's this outside balcony, and you could see, like, it is blocked in by a hotel in an apartment. Right. So you Can. But it's like one of those hotels and apartments that. It's like floor to ceiling windows. You can see into people's rooms. I could see your bedroom set up. I could see your lamps and your carpet. Right.

[B]

I don't like that.

[A]

Now, I thought the. The scene was nice. It was very scenic. It was beautiful. I was like, this is. This is cool.

[B]

Sexy.

[A]

And the weather was so perfect this night right now. I didn't really go in there because there's too much hood rat activity going into the party, like in the actual club. So me and CJ spent most of the time outside on that balcony, right? So I was outside on the balcony. We were talking, doing our thing, making jokes, enjoying the weather. With who?

[B]

With who? Just each other.

[A]

Just me and him, right? No women in sight.

[B]

We're just doing, oh, oh, my God, I've been shot. Oh, my God.

[A]

So me and Siege are out there, right? And the photographer for the party. The photographer for the party was a fan of the podcast, right?

[B]

There we go.

[A]

Now, he was a cool, cool. Cool as hell. No, no, no, no, no, no. You were cool. I'm giving him a love sandwich. No, no, he was a cool dude, right? He's cool. Cool dude, right?

[B]

Oh, no, no. You won't even believe your own sentiment. You said, right? He's cool, right? No, no, no, he was cool. Oh, I can't wait for this.

[A]

No, he was cool.

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

It's nothing about him.

[B]

It's about his crap.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

Okay, okay.

[A]

So he had the camera. We're talking. He was telling me like, oh, I love the food challenges. I normally go whenever I watch them. I tried the food challenges after. I was like, that's cool.

[B]

That's sick.

[A]

Said he didn't like anything, so.

[B]

Me neither, brother.

[A]

So this is what makes me uncomfortable. If I'm not ready to take pictures.

[B]

Here we go.

[A]

I don't want to, right? Not like pictures. Like, hey, I'm a fan of the podcast. Let's take a picture. I'm always okay with that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He said, hey, let's get some shots of you on this balcony. Now I have to be in the right headspace.

[B]

Yeah. Gotta have at least a sipper, something.

[A]

So I'm leaning on the rail of this balcony, right? I'm tooting out. And C.J. was like, damn you tooting that thing. He's. He's. He takes items out of my hand. He's like, give me your phone. Like, he's like, like. I'm like, okay, whatever. Remember when I Said the setup of this balcony was at. Right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I could see past the camera at this window.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I'm taking pictures.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I'm taking pictures. But something back there in one of those windows kept moving. Oh, I said, I was. I was trying to make direct eye contact at the lens, but some up here was ferociously moving. I said, I kid you not. I was witnessing somebody going to goddamn pound.

[B]

It cannot be on top of this.

[A]

I look over at cj, he's looking out the window like this.

[B]

That's so crazy.

[A]

I said, cj's time to go in the party.

[B]

He said, wait, go to the bathroom first. Oh, could you imagine how you're taking pictures? You just look up and it's just no dead ass.

[A]

And. And I was talking to the general manager of the place. He goes, yeah, we see it all the time.

[B]

Oh, it's.

[A]

Oh, my God. No, it's just different rooms because it's a hotel. So I thought.

[B]

He says, hotel and apartment.

[A]

No, the hotel is this side apartment was over here. We were sandwiched in by. By residents. Yeah, dude. Yeah. It was so, so damn funny. Yeah. They just had the blinds open. Yeah.

[B]

That's how, you know. It was good, too.

[A]

What? Who? Really?

[B]

Yeah. If you're not trying to hide, nothing.

[A]

For the lights on, it was like a lamp. It was ambient.

[B]

No. Yeah. They were sexy. Yeah, they were.

[A]

There's two silhouettes.

[B]

They were having coitus.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Lights on. World can see.

[A]

Dude, they're on.

[B]

They're on public display. They're like, what are you going to say? Bad about my game?

[A]

You ever peeped over at the mirror?

[B]

Yeah, dude. It's never a good size.

[A]

I'm like, why does my hip look like it's popping out?

[B]

I'm like, I really have that much ass.

[A]

I'm like, why is my stance? I look like Jaylen Herz behind the center.

[B]

Oh, no, not good. A mirror. And it's. We're just. There's so much skin.

[A]

So much.

[B]

So long.

[A]

So. Yeah. And then, like, it depends how the lights hit me. If I'm getting backlit. You can see the fur off my butt. Like, it's. It's never. It's never ideal. It's never ideal. You know what I mean? It's. It's. It's never calling fur again. Yeah.

[B]

Holy cj, that was.

[A]

Oh, I felt like Montoya watching that. Watching that up there. Montoya port forward. I'm not gonna, like. I'm gonna. I'm gonna talk about Montoya.

[B]

Bring it.

[A]

Okay, so there's like this viral thing on Twitter.

[B]

Yeah. It's like what you haven't seen.

[A]

If you're on Twitter, you've seen this hundred. There's a guy. There's this like. Like a Spanish reality show. It's like a Love island type of thing. But you watch your significant other and make coyotes with somebody else.

[B]

Right now. Is that the premise?

[A]

I don't know. Yeah.

[B]

Because it's not like. No, no, no, no, no. I think if I had to assume. Because if we're. If we're being smart.

[A]

Right.

[B]

They probably went to this thing with. As a couple.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There was, like, options for them to explore. Maybe they had a little break in their. And then that just ended up happening.

[A]

Yes. So basically, there's this clip. Is this guy. It's like they're on this island, and he's with the host of the show, this lady. And there's a screen in the middle of this. Of the beach, literally. And there's a. Like a camera inside of a bedroom in Montoya. This man is watching his girlfriend, you know, have fun with another man. Montoya crashed out.

[B]

Wicked. Crash out.

[A]

He was screaming. He was ripping his shirt. He started.

[B]

He kicked the laptop, ripped his shirt off. The host is like, Montoya, please. He's literally like Usain Bolt sprinting through the sand to go, like, to the villa where his girl is having sex.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Nutty.

[A]

It's. It. Just look up Montoya on Twitter and then you'll see it.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I look at other things in that clip. Right.

[B]

I knew you would.

[A]

I started examining other things in that clip. Everybody's worried about Montoya chasing after his lover. Getting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Getting pleasure.

[B]

Yeah. Good morning.

[A]

But on one of the shots, you see Montoya running past everybody else on the outside villa. Did no one see the couple popping up out of the hot tub? Booty butt. No one saw that.

[B]

I did not.

[A]

They were.

[B]

Booty butt.

[A]

Booty butt. I'm like, everybody's worried about Montoya. What's happening in the hot tub?

[B]

No, they're freaks.

[A]

That is a sick.

[B]

How is it televised? How is that televised?

[A]

It's. Maybe it's different regulations over there.

[B]

Oh. Oh, yeah. It's not. It's not in English. It's not American.

[A]

And I've been keeping up with this storyline, apparently.

[B]

Of course you have.

[A]

Apparently Montoya was. He cheated first. That was her. Get back.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

And then there's another clip that happened like. Like a week later or a couple days later, because I guess how it's like how Love island is filmed. Like it's like the next day. Like they. They like are recording every day and then uploading it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So it happened again. Montoya watched it.

[B]

No way. No way.

[A]

Montoya. You need to leave this goddamn show.

[B]

Before you like somebody.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For real. No, I saw. I though I didn't see the booty butt in the hot tub, but I did see the dude playing bongo drums on Montoya's Girls.

[A]

Yeah, he literally was like, yeah, it's. That's a rough thing, brother.

[B]

That is. Could you imagine? What would you do?

[A]

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[B]

Oh, I know, brother. That's. That's just. It's okay. It's deep cuts, but at least on that island, you know, it might have been a little better. You did it in real life. That was a show. They probably knew some.

[A]

We don't have to get too much into it.

[B]

I know. But yeah, he went there thinking he was gonna see some but not see, not see another Man's snake.

[A]

Good morning.

[B]

Mmm. Okay. Speaking of snakes.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I thought about this the other day, and it genuinely concerns me now as an adult.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Do you remember back in elementary school.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When there'd be a guy that came in with, like, a safari hat in a briefcase and that your teachers would line you up in the gym, sometimes there'd be popcorn available and he's like, yeah, this is our friend Frederick. And all this stuff. He brings out a little hamster, all that shit. And in the end he's like, oh. And I got this. A boa constrictor. And it's a. It's a massive snake. And you're like 7 years old. You're like. You're terrified. What the hell is his problem?

[A]

No one ever came to my school with a snake.

[B]

That never happened to you?

[A]

No.

[B]

Did that happen to y'all?

[A]

No.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

The only thing that came to our school was literally a guy and he started singing a song about that was like the, like, dead ass. No, it's not a joke. Like, he came up and he had like. It was like ex convicts. They came up into my theater and they were like, like 240 pounds of man with tattoos, and they were like, singing about, like, scary.

[B]

That is scary snake.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I shit you not. We'd be lined up like, there's like 300 kids in a gym.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In this weird, quirky guy with a big ass suitcase and a hat. He would come in and he'd show you animals, and they progressively get scared.

[A]

Wait, what was the point of this exactly?

[B]

It wasn't like a trust exercise. It was just like a cool, like, here, we're gonna reward y'all for doing good in second grade. And bring snakes. We're gonna bring an anaconda. And I'm like, our principal needs to go to hell. Because just second grade, you're either. You're 7 years old, maybe turning 8. You can bet you can't even pick your own clothes out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And now this weird, random stranger is like, you want to touch my snake? And it's just. It is so. It's so unbelievable. I saw a clip about it, and it made me think back because I was always terrified.

[A]

Yeah. Of course.

[B]

There's always those weird kids that, like, just like, Harry Potter wanted to hold it, talk to the snake and shit. They're rubbing its head and I'm like, who are you?

[A]

Oh, my God. People that go, like, downtown on clubs, like, they go, like, clubbing at night, right? And there's always the guy on the street with a snake. And they always give me $5. Take a picture of my snake.

[B]

You and your snake. Shut that snake up, dumbass.

[A]

I'm not going. If you're doing that. You have. You have too much trust in things outside of your control.

[B]

That, and don't touch anyone else till you shower because you' you just had a snake wrapped around your torso. Now you're getting to go hug somebody and hit on a poor guy at a bar.

[A]

You're taking two tequila shots inside the club.

[B]

No chance in hell. You need to bathe.

[A]

You got scale remnants on your shoulder goo and slime. You're like, hey, how are you?

[B]

It's like, no. Hell, no. And what about the people that own these snakes? What went wrong in your life to where you're a snake. A snake is your primary pet, okay? Not a. Not a German shepherd. Not a cool little fat house cat. A snake.

[A]

Don't do that. Don't do that. My aunt Mole, she.

[B]

What did you say your aunt's name is?

[A]

Mole.

[B]

You have an aunt, her name is Mole. No disrespect, Auntie Mole, but Mole. Mole is her government.

[A]

Yeah. And then whenever.

[B]

Wrong with it. Continue. Nothing.

[A]

Well, no, no, no, no. Her government is a mole.

[B]

What's her government?

[A]

Carolyn.

[B]

O.

[A]

No, that's a different Carolyn, not aunt.

[B]

Two aunts. You have two aunts named Carolyn. You have two aunts named Carolyn.

[A]

You are.

[B]

You are.

[A]

Well, Mole's not my real aunt.

[B]

Then why are you calling her aunt?

[A]

Because, like, I'm, like, I'm.

[B]

Stumped. You on that one?

[A]

No, because you know how Malachi is going to call me?

[B]

Okay, yeah. Who's I close to?

[A]

My mom.

[B]

So your mom has a real sister named Carolyn, and then she picked a best friend named Carolyn. That's strange.

[A]

Named Mole.

[B]

That. It was a mole.

[A]

She has a mole. That's just how we. That's just.

[B]

How big is it and where is it at?

[A]

I don't remember. I haven't seen it some years. Like, that's a good size. It's a good size.

[B]

Italian.

[A]

I think she watches. I haven't talked to you in some years. I miss you, Mole. No, but I remember. I remember she had. She lived in an apartment, and she had a fat snake in that apartment. I remember that. No, and so I would never go to Mole's house because.

[B]

Were you.

[A]

Oh, I was like, seven.

[B]

Yeah. Seven and snakes. People think it's cool. Dude, you're traumatizing kids.

[A]

I think my mom picks people up off the street because Like, Mole got a snake. Allison had a ferret. Like, where are we getting all these exotic pets from? Dog.

[B]

Allison did have a ferret.

[A]

And used it as a.

[B]

Where do you purchase a ferret? Let's talk about that. Where do you.

[A]

You can buy ferrets at petsmart.

[B]

They have ferrets?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

At petsmart.

[A]

You've never gone to petsmart in the little glass thing that you'd see a bunch of ferrets running on a little ferret running. Bunch of ferrets.

[B]

The same place I trained my sweet girl Ruby.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They were selling ferrets.

[A]

Dude, you got scammed out of training Ruby.

[B]

I didn't get scammed. The earth got hit with a global pandemic, asshole. I didn't get scammed.

[A]

She doesn't.

[B]

She was top of her class. She graduated. She graduated first out of seven dogs.

[A]

She must have been there with a bunch of.

[B]

I swear to God. The instructor pulled us to the side to tell us, but still, she got first place out of seven.

[A]

And she was like, oh, I got rich clients.

[B]

He's doing well, do well, sign up again, I'll see you. But she graduated. She learned all of her cues, all the things. Boom. Covid. She didn't get to go to step two or three or honors. She didn't get to go to anything. She did not get her master's degree. She didn't get to do any post grad work. She kind of, like, did her first semester and then started drinking.

[A]

She put on the freshman 15 and dropped out.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

You know what? Ruby?

[B]

Dude, Ruby is. Ruby's strange.

[A]

Ruby.

[B]

Ruby's.

[A]

I've been telling you that for years.

[B]

No, no. Specifically now with Malachi.

[A]

Yeah, I haven't seen her since Malachi.

[B]

She's depressed.

[A]

I bet.

[B]

I saw her chewing her own leg. She was trying to make herself a dog amputee.

[A]

Stop it.

[B]

I'm not kidding. I literally walked in. She was gnawing on it like it was a bone.

[A]

That's so strange.

[B]

And I don't know if that's, like, a sign of, like, yeast.

[A]

No, she does have a yeast infection. She smells like Frito Lay.

[B]

Not a doctor. You're not a doctor.

[A]

I can promise you that.

[B]

No, no, you can't.

[A]

Yeah, she needs some antibiotics.

[B]

No shot.

[A]

She needs some multiple shots. She needs antibiotics.

[B]

She does. She needs some medicine. Yeah, but when. When, Matt. When Malachi dreams your son. Yes, when Malachi. What the hell? When he is dreaming, Ruby. Literally, it's like there's a HDMI cord.

[A]

Well, first of all when your son dreams.

[B]

When Malachi dreams. Is. That is exactly what I said and I didn't stutter. When Malachi, your son is all of.

[A]

16 days old, brother. He's not dreaming about shit. That dream.

[B]

Yes, he does.

[A]

Are you becoming one of those parents already? Like, my kid knows it's ABC is.

[B]

At 2 years old. Oh, no, those people are lying.

[A]

It's like my kids gonna be in the NFL. Meanwhile, you can barely grab some shit.

[B]

Baby's dream.

[A]

That's.

[B]

That's.

[A]

Babies do not dream.

[B]

Babies 100% dream.

[A]

Maybe like baby, like at 2 to 3 years old, maybe that's a toddler.

[B]

My newborn son dreams. There's absolutely nothing you can say. There is nothing you can say right now to prove that wrong.

[A]

Your son.

[B]

I have physically witnessed him.

[A]

Your son is great. I love your son. He's going to be a great person. Can't dream at 16 days old. What is he dreaming about, brother? He doesn't know what's going on.

[B]

I don't know what's on the inner workings of the mind, but that's. That cracks crooked smiles in the middle of his sleep, he goes, and he's dreaming.

[A]

What's he gonna.

[B]

He gets frightened. He startles himself. He is dreaming.

[A]

What's he dreaming about? The. Whenever he came into the world and he's like, ah, I saw my big head dad going like this for me.

[B]

Like, no, I. Again, I don't know what he's dreaming about.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Probably about maybe two big surgical gloves coming and they grab him out and he's like, he got pulled out. Maybe a lot of beeping in machines that goo on his eyes.

[A]

Let's be honest.

[B]

But he dreams.

[A]

Let's be honest. What do you dream about?

[B]

I dream about everything.

[A]

Like, name your last dream you remember. Say it. Say it. Oh, try. We can mute it.

[B]

Okay. My last dream was actually last night. And I had a dream that me and Liv got into a visceral argument because she told me my penis was small.

[A]

No, Kim, that's a self esteem thing, dog.

[B]

I swear to God too. But, but, but to clear the air, when I woke up and explained the dream to her, she simply said, oh, well, that's not true.

[A]

Oh, well, good wife.

[B]

But.

[A]

I'm saying. So you dream about things that are actually going on in your life.

[B]

Because I'm cognitive. Exactly.

[A]

He's not. Malachi's 16 days old.

[B]

How does he know when he's hungry?

[A]

It's. That is nature.

[B]

What?

[A]

That's nature. That's. That is nature. That's nature, instinct, like.

[B]

Exactly. So is shutting his eyes. So is dreaming.

[A]

That's not instinct.

[B]

Matter of fact, can you control whether or not you can dream as an adult?

[A]

Yes, I can.

[B]

Holy shit. You're not Spider man. You're not Dr. Strange. No, you don't.

[A]

Yes, I can.

[B]

No. Everyone dreams. Certain people remember, certain people don't. So by that sentiment of everyone dreams.

[A]

At a certain age.

[B]

When does it say that?

[A]

Whenever you have cognitive thinking. Cam, he doesn't even know he has hands yet, brother. He doesn't know it. His eyes are still a little loose.

[B]

They are. They cross eyed very often, but he is. Okay, I'm agreeing with everything you're saying. Yes, but you're not hearing me. I watch him dream. He has dreams, dude.

[A]

I'm telling you, Cam, you cannot have a dream if you can't have a thought.

[B]

Dude, it's because we. Thank you.

[A]

Who are you?

[B]

It's because we are cognitive now. You're trying to make it make sense. But back then we still dreamt. We still.

[A]

About what? About. What would you dream about?

[B]

About every. I don't remember it now.

[A]

You didn't dream then.

[B]

Oh, so it didn't happen? Yes, I remember up my back, but my mom has photos to prove.

[A]

Okay, but you're naming nature things and you're naming cognitive thinking things. You're trying to make them synonymous with each other. And that's the biggest sentence I've ever said on this podcast. God damn, that felt good. My just grew. Here we go. I'm saying you. You're trying to make those synonyms with each other and they can't be.

[B]

Yes, they can.

[A]

No, they.

[B]

You are not Isaac Newton. You are a man from Austin, Texas. You are a man from Austin. You're not a scientist. You're not an engineer. Yeah, okay, if it doesn't make sense to you, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Now me with my ohos, I watch him.

[A]

What do you watch him do that makes you think he's dreaming?

[B]

He's dead asleep. And I can check from his outlet. Dream Sock. So non sponsor. He has a sock that tells me he is asleep. Yeah, I watch him sleep. And then he goes. First off, rapid eye movement. Therehere we go. REM sleep. Rapid eye.

[A]

That's just REM sleep.

[B]

He's deep in sleep. He's dreaming.

[A]

That's not. You can be in REM sleep and not dream.

[B]

Dude, when did. When did you go to sleep school? When did you go to these studies? I'm saying we have Sleep books in your house like you. You have a hard enough time sleeping and now you're a professor about it. I am so confused right now. Oh, you just wave. Sleeping. You're dreaming.

[A]

Babies can't dream, bro.

[B]

Yes, they can.

[A]

No, they cannot. I'm telling you they can't.

[B]

Then it's fact. Then it's true. Yes, they can.

[A]

Okay, just tell me what he would do.

[B]

Pierce, just look up for me. Can babies dream? Search it. I. I can't tell you what he's dreaming about, so you can't say. I don't have X Men powers and I can't see his thoughts, so you don't know he's dreaming when he wakes up. He doesn't have teeth, so he can't communicate it. Some studies suggest that babies start dreaming as early as six months old.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Some studies keywords.

[A]

Others indicate that they may not begin.

[B]

Dreaming until later childhood.

[A]

Cam, you were wrong. Thank you. Thank you.

[B]

Damn. It looks like he's dreaming.

[A]

I felt good.

[B]

I'm going to go home and spank him for that.

[A]

That's out.

[B]

I'm kidding. Damn, that's crazy. Okay, well, hey, props to you.

[A]

Yeah. No, I'm telling you, your book. Where.

[B]

Where's the pubs through?

[A]

Oh, that's just a bunch of. That's a bunch of sleep trauma. I got. I haven't got a good night's sleep in like a couple years, bro.

[B]

Ditto. Oh, well, mine's like last couple weeks, but a couple. Couple years.

[A]

Years. I. I genuinely believe.

[B]

Nope. There was that one night. I do not believe that was I. No. Probably woke up. No. We got back from somewhere. I think it's when we got back from the Hamptons. We got back from the Hamptons. And we both vowed to each other.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Vouched.

[A]

Vowed.

[B]

Vowed to each other that we were gonna go home and sleep as long as we could.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I think he woke up at like 6pm and you said it was a fantastic. Granted, that's not a night of sleep.

[A]

That was a recovery sleep. That was.

[B]

That was good, though.

[A]

Oh, it was so nice. It was so nice. After a good diaper change. The you should know podcast this episode is brought to you by Bubbly Cleaning. Kim, we all know I am not known for being the cleanest guy. And everybody says when they step into my house, there's always a little bit of funk.

[B]

Always a little bit of stench, if you ask me.

[A]

A lot of trash all over the place.

[B]

A lot of dirt, grime, and dust.

[A]

But thank God I found Bubbly Cleaning. They gave me a house cleaning and when I walked into my house, it was so pristine. I literally had a party the next day to show everybody, hey, I got a clean house. Thanks to Bubbly Cleaning.

[B]

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[A]

Thank God that Bubbly is sponsoring the podcast because they gave me that free in home cleaning cam. I'm telling you, I went to Bubly and I'm never going back.

[B]

To schedule a cleaning, you simply go to Bubbly Cleaning's website to choose the day and time you're looking for and the duration of your cleaning to get matched with a cleaner.

[A]

Take home cleaning off your plate this year by using Bubbly cleaning. Head to bubblycleaning.com to get your first three hours of cleaning for only $19. Thank you, Bubbly Cleaning. Now, on to the rest of the episode. The you should know podcast. We touched a little bit on the super bowl earlier in the episode, right? We touched a lot, but we touched the Super Bowl.

[B]

We did, right?

[A]

We watched it. It was a horrible game.

[B]

It was awful. And it made it very unfun.

[A]

The super bowl was a bad watch.

[B]

It was.

[A]

But that made me have a false confidence in myself.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

There's this very famous hypothetical that's been going around the Internet for some time now, and a lot of NFL players get asked it, but I always bring things on to myself, and especially after watching the shitty Super Bowl, I answered it myself. The question is, do you think you can get 5 yards in a regulation NFL game? I genuinely do believe, and this is not me just trying to, like, bait you into being mad. But I think with the right play call and a good offensive line, I'm getting five yards. Especially after watching the Super Bowl.

[B]

How many attempts do you get?

[A]

I think. How many attempts? Give me one. One attempt. Give me one attempt. One. One.

[B]

One snap on a great play call and a good line.

[A]

I think I get it.

[B]

Bullshit.

[A]

Because all it takes is a good block. I need a good block. And I'm tall, Peyton.

[B]

And you're slow. Your bones ache and you don't stride well. Your strides are Small.

[A]

No, that is not true. Very accurate, Kim. If it's a. If it is a Moses opening, right? If they part the Red Sea for me and I just got to worry about this middle linebacker. I got to get 5 yards and I'll get cracked.

[B]

A middle linebacker is going to run through your head. He's going to go. He's literally going to put his helmet and you wouldn't be able to get low. You're not good at getting low. Your hips don't allow you to get that low. He'd be like, you get right here. He would put his helmet, the crown of his helmet directly in your elbow and you would scream and fumble. There's no. One attempt.

[A]

One attempt with a great call.

[B]

One attempt. Good play call. Good coach. Good O line.

[A]

I have superpowers with adrenaline again.

[B]

No, you don't.

[A]

I told you I could already lift up a car.

[B]

No, you think you can and you think you're getting this five yards. You're not. You're getting a quick visit to the er. No, you are going to get your shit cleaned.

[A]

How far do you think I would get?

[B]

You would get a yard past the line. Scrimmage. You get one three feet behind or in front of the line of scrimmage and you're getting mauled.

[A]

I could. I could break an arm tackle. What if I'm going through the line and alignment is like grabbing me? He's like grabbing my jersey. I can fight through it.

[B]

You hate when we do pull ups at the gym and you're talking about getting through a 6, 8, 350 lineman that goes. It just grabs your. He's like, ah, you just. Rag doll you.

[A]

Oh, you're further than you. No, I have a quicker first step stepped in you.

[B]

Okay, I'd give you this quicker first step. I stride better and I have good agility via eyes. I can do.

[A]

No, you can't.

[B]

He goes. He goes. And I'm going that way. That's all I would do. He goes and I'm gone.

[A]

Why are you running like a bad third grader?

[B]

He just jumps that way like this. I could see you making like a.

[A]

War cry when you ran.

[B]

Like. No, you literally go, ah. You're just running right down the middle. Oh, my God. If you had a hot mic, if. If you had a hot mic while you're running, you like, you're like fast breathing, like, scared.

[A]

You get cracked G. I would definitely do better than you in. In elementary school. I have more weight in that slower.

[B]

In ele.

[A]

In elementary school, you're athletic prime. Unfortunately, it was not. You used to race the girls.

[B]

I did.

[A]

Because you couldn't beat the guy and you needed a confidence.

[B]

I thought it was a good form of flirting. They would always ask me, so I'd race them.

[A]

You play tackle football?

[B]

Yeah. She was big, bro. She, like, the girls grow quicker than guys. Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like, she looked like I did in the sixth grade, but we were in the second grade.

[A]

Yes. Oh, wow.

[B]

So I was like, oh, my God. I was like, this is gonna hurt if she gets older.

[A]

Is that right, Lewis?

[B]

I said, my God. But it was fun. At that time. I didn't. I didn't differentiate. I shouldn't be playing with the girls. I should be playing with the boys. With the girls wanted to play. And I. I dropped a couple. I'm not gonna lie. It was tacky.

[A]

I could. I. I could have gone D1 in football. I could have. I genuinely could have.

[B]

You didn't even play football in high school.

[A]

Because I focused on basketball.

[B]

Okay. Because I could have been a rocket engineer. Didn't pick that path, though. What kind of. Kind of synopsis is that? D1 in football.

[A]

I could have.

[B]

You didn't even play it.

[A]

Yes, I did. I played it my whole childhood. I was good.

[B]

What position were you?

[A]

Quarterback, kicker, running back, receiver and safety.

[B]

Would you play three on three? You just covered the whole field.

[A]

I was Travis Hunter. No, I was Peyton Hunter.

[B]

Travis Hunter times three. In six positions.

[A]

Yes. I was bigger than everybody.

[B]

That doesn't even matter.

[A]

And I was more athletic.

[B]

First off, what position do you think you'd play right now in the NFL if you were in there?

[A]

Quarterback.

[B]

You'd be a quarterback?

[A]

Yeah. 100% bull. I can see over the line and I have a good arm.

[B]

You would trip over your own ankles. You do your jobs, coach, and then they drill you.

[A]

Cam, you were. You were a center.

[B]

I was a tight end that got moved to center because our center got hurt. Damn it. I was a blocking tight end that ran a mean six yard out route, but we never threw the ball. And I was good at blocking. Our center got hurt and they said, hey, tubby, you try it. And I went, all right. Right. Snap in is perfect.

[A]

Like, who eats the most?

[B]

Get. Get the. I was like. Would you say. I was like, oh, sure, dude. No, though. That was literally the origin story of how I went to a center.

[A]

Yeah, I believe it. We were at. They were like, big kid coming.

[B]

We were at practice. Our center gets hurt. I'm a tight end, legit running routes, even Though we never threw the. Like, it was. It was stupid.

[A]

How old were you?

[B]

This was seven. This was eighth grade. Seventh grade was regular. No, seventh grade was a center. One of the two.

[A]

Doesn't matter.

[B]

Doesn't matter. But seventh or eighth grade, I. You. Not. Our center gets hurt and they go, we need someone to snap. Yeah, Kennedy, try it. And I was just like, yes, man.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

As you should be in the seventh grade.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're like, coach. But I literally get down. Never done it before. Ever. Snapped it. Hit the quarterback right there. They go, you're the center. And I went, no, no, wait. That was a.

[A]

No.

[B]

I was joking. This is my real one. No, it was.

[A]

I hate that you don't believe in me like that. That. Then I couldn't do it.

[B]

Peyton. You. If I told you to run and touch your desk and come back, you'd be absolutely gassed.

[A]

You'd be. That's longer than five yards.

[B]

Exactly. But that's just. That's. There's no humans tackling you. There's no agility required. Just a simple run for 8.

[A]

I can run straight with an open hole.

[B]

Dude, how. Who's your line? Who's your line?

[A]

The Eagles.

[B]

The team. The Titans. The Teen Titans. They have superpowers like the Avengers.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You got Thanos as your snows guard. Like, what. What are you doing?

[A]

Dude, you. I'm six seven. I used to jump high and I used to run fast.

[B]

Yeah. So you don't run fast anymore. You don't jump high anymore. Your bones are aching. They are in pain. And you've never played football past Pop Warner. And you're going to go in there.

[A]

And get five yards with a good line. Yes.

[B]

There's. Bro. Derrick Henry. Derrick Henry does not average five yards of kick.

[A]

Doesn't have a good line.

[B]

He doesn't have a good. He is a. He is a literal toyo. He's a sequoia. He is a. He is a car of a human being.

[A]

Well, any NFL can't get any NFL teams. Let's set up, like, whenever it's time for scrimmaging, bring me out. I'll do it. I'll. Genie, put on pads and I'll do it.

[B]

Dude, you first off. You and pads look like Snoop Dogg in that commercial. You'd be skinny as shit long. Your shoulder pads would choke up. You'd be like this. I'm ready to play. They'd go, all right, snap. You'd be like, get cracked. There's no.

[A]

Let's try it. Let's Try it.

[B]

The only way I would say yes is if you bumped your attempts to like three. If you had three attempts to get five yards, I'd say yes.

[A]

The reason I said solely on the.

[B]

Faith of your line and coach.

[A]

The. The reason I said one is cuz I'm winded. I can't. It is after the first attempt, I am cooked.

[B]

I'm like, what happens if they ran like a trick. A little trick play. And it was really like a. Oh, fake there. Something. Boom. And it was just halfback dive. You right up the middle and you like. What would you do if you just had to run in a straight line and there was a guy right there? Matter. Yeah. What would you do? You had to go head on with an NFL linebacker. Say you don't get the five yards your family's done. Right. It's like, say it is. It is life or death out there. What would your brave maneuver be?

[A]

I would hurdle him because most likely I'm taller. Most likely I can jump higher. I would hurdle them.

[B]

I would bet all of my money that you cannot jump higher than a middle linebacker in the NFL right now.

[A]

100. It depends on who it is. What does that mean?

[B]

Not all of them. Not all linebackers, but still, there's no way they are an athletic prime peak. Yes, they are jumping higher than you.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And even first.

[A]

But I'm tall, so they're trying to go for my legs. That's whenever I jump.

[B]

You would jump and he would grab your shin and it would snap in half. Like this coach. This couch. He would literally go.

[A]

Go.

[B]

Boom. Your leg would go. And you would fall in agony. And now your family's gone.

[A]

Okay, well, we'll see you. See you in the next one.

[B]

Dude. There's no I love you.

[A]

Well, I just wanted to.

[B]

Coaching staff play call and line.

[A]

I just wanted. You don't have to keep piling. I just wanted to see what you thought about it.

[B]

I don't think so.

[A]

I think I could.

[B]

I don't think so, but I do love you. Okay. I see that can. And it makes me hungry. Now you can hold the jokes, right? I think after the wind blows and.

[A]

Kim's like, I'm really getting an appetite here.

[B]

Someone had a burger, but I think.

[A]

It'S like a German shepherd out of a window. Like when we pass by like. Like shopping centers. Cam's head's out the window. He's like, someone's baking rolls.

[B]

Yeah. I go, auntie Anne's today for sure. Yeah, but sorry to go back to the house life. I think after the kid, though, me and Liv's sweet tooths have switched. It always used to be she was like the actual candy, like gummies and stuff like that. And I was always like, chocolate candy. It's completely sweet. Switched. I have been smacking a candy. I want you to guess. Candy from my childhood. It's been around forever and it's so damn good, and I have not had it in years. And it's so simple. So simple. Think of concession stands.

[A]

Concession. Like Fruit Roll ups.

[B]

No. Good guess, though. I'd consider that more of a snack candy. That's not a candy. A Fruit Roll up is not a candy.

[A]

Cameron, don't even.

[B]

It's literally not a candy. Cameron, Fruit Roll up is not a candy.

[A]

What? What? We're not going to spend time on this. We've. We've gone at each other's necks a lot of this episode.

[B]

Dude, it's not a candy.

[A]

Okay, Cam, whenever you go to the grocery store, what aisle are the Fruit Roll Ups in? That's all I'm gonna say.

[B]

They're literally. I legit. Do not think they're on the candy aisle.

[A]

Oh, so you get it next to the marinara sauce.

[B]

No, you get it next to the Oreos and you get it next to all those things. A big, big, gorgeous snack aisle.

[A]

Okay, so when you're. Since you brought up concession stands. Whenever. If you're. You go to rich school. So it's different. But whenever I was growing up, it just said candy. Like $3. Right? Oh, and that. It was like hot dogs, water, candy. Like, that was the three things you get. If you said fruit Roll up, it would go to the price of the candy.

[B]

If you were paying $3 for a fruit Roll up, then you. Are you a bigger fish to fry, my guy.

[A]

100 is a candy.

[B]

It's not.

[A]

Yes, it is. Because it's sweet and it's. It's sticky.

[B]

It's sweet and sticky.

[A]

Yeah, like strawberries.

[B]

A candy. Strawberries, candy. Sweet and sticky.

[A]

No, you know what I mean. But it's sugary sweets. Why? A snack is like a chip and a popcorn and that pretzels, that kind of stuff.

[B]

So Pop Tart. Pop Tart is sweet and sticky candy.

[A]

No, but that's more of.

[B]

That's whole. Oh, my God.

[A]

That's whole. It's foodier. What here has bread?

[B]

Oreos. Oreos.

[A]

It's almost like a sandwich. I could. I could say that you're the worst.

[B]

Regardless, that is not a candy.

[A]

100.

[B]

But it's not stupid.

[A]

Idiot.

[B]

Airheads.

[A]

Oh, I haven't had an airhead in a minute.

[B]

Oh, my God. It is. It is. They are succulent and deep with flavor.

[A]

What's your favorite one?

[B]

Oh, my God, you're about to ask me. Mine is. For whatever reason, it's not. It's not popular. But the white one, the mystery one, because you never know what you're gonna get.

[A]

No, you do know what you're gonna get every time.

[B]

It's literally called the mystery flavor.

[A]

Okay, yeah, but why would they lie.

[B]

And say mystery flavor?

[A]

It's marketing.

[B]

No, it's not.

[A]

Yes, it is.

[B]

No, it is not.

[A]

Mystery flavor is a mystery flavor because it's not branded on the thing. It's just like, hey, it's a mystery flavor. But it's like, what is it? It's like a. It's a kidding. It's the same flavor every time you have one.

[B]

It literally is not.

[A]

You've never got. You. Okay. You've never had.

[B]

You're joking.

[A]

You've never had two sticks of that mystery flavor. And it's tasted different. You've never had it.

[B]

I have literally experienced what you just demonstrated when you.

[A]

So you bought two boxes of Airheads. They both had the mystery flavors. You bit one and you bit the other in there. Different.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

No, you have not. No, genuinely, you have not.

[B]

You're lying.

[A]

You're having, like, my Fruit Loops, like, epiphany right now. No, they're the same.

[B]

No, they're not. Okay.

[A]

Do you.

[B]

Okay, my God, I'm about to take your ass to school. Take me and spank on that pony. I'm spanking that ass. Here we go. Do you know where the mystery flavor comes from?

[A]

What does that mean?

[B]

Do you know what, like, why that is called the mystery flavor?

[A]

Because it's not branded as a flavor.

[B]

Dude, you're. You're this, like. You're this philosophical sorcerer, like, Illuminati guy. No, it's simply they. The mystery flavor comes from the leftovers of other flavors, and they combine it.

[A]

That sounds like. There's no way that they're in a lab every day and they're like, package that one up.

[B]

They make all the watermelons, they make all the grapes, they make all the oranges. Whatever is left over due to manufacturing error, they combine becomes white. They make it white so you can't tell. And they package it as the mis. That is actual. That's actual fact.

[A]

Okay, so if they're doing that every time, it's the same flavor every Time.

[B]

Now, how does that make sense?

[A]

You said they take the watermelon, the grape, and the orange. First of all, crazy trifecta to explain to me.

[B]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. What if. What if one day there was four pieces of watermelon extra and there was 600 pieces of orange? The orange conveyor belt messed up a lot. That's gonna be very situated.

[A]

Are you that naive to think that they have people in a factory with actual ingredients being like two drops of orange? It's made on a machine, on a conveyor belt. It's the same every time.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. There's always room for error. That's what I know. There's not a guy with goggles going.

[A]

Okay, so it would be an error if it tasted different. You're saying every time it is different.

[B]

Shut up and listen. Open your ears. The machine. Let's say, this is watermelon, this is cherry. This machine can mess up on Tuesday more than it should. That is why there's margins.

[A]

That'd be an error.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Which would be a rarity.

[B]

But it all. But it happens sometimes. But I'm not.

[A]

I'm not. You're saying you. You literally started this off by saying every time you get the mystery flavor, you don't know what you're gonna get.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yes, you do.

[B]

You said no. You know. You don't. You do not know. First off, if you know what you're gonna get that. What's the flavor if you know what you're gonna get? Asshole.

[A]

Hey, I'm not 12. I'm 26 years old. I'm not popping airheads anymore. I'm paying mortgages and rent and payroll.

[B]

I get that, but it is not. It could be very similar, and it can be different. It's mystery.

[A]

It can be.

[B]

Yes, exactly.

[A]

But you said it is.

[B]

Never know what you're gonna get because it can be different.

[A]

Yes, you do. Okay.

[B]

Just said it with me.

[A]

The lime one could be different every time because there's less lime in it.

[B]

This time you just said there's not a guy doing droppers. And it's a machine. When it's perfect, so are you. Henry, do you love the assembly line? If we're going, you an Illuminati.

[A]

Dude. Okay, we're gonna get off that real quick.

[B]

It's not the same. It is.

[A]

It is the exact same.

[B]

Leave it in the comments. Being stupid, he doesn't appreciate airheads, and he doesn't know Cam offered for a.

[A]

Patreon episode to go to the most racist town in America because he has family out there. There. Oh, let's put that out there. And I was not going to bring this.

[B]

Are you kidding me?

[A]

You know that video, like when it first went, bro, you're like, God, Jerry.

[B]

Ah, Jerry was a good kid in school. No, I do not have family out there. I don't want to go there. And that place, quite frankly, scares me.

[A]

Yeah. Cuz we're looking at new studios and Cam was like, like we're offering like different, like cities around here. Cam was like, let's pack up and move out there. I said, what?

[B]

Look for some real estate in Harrison, Arkansas.

[A]

That's why you pick CJ to work here.

[B]

Goblins.

[A]

That's how you pick CJ up to work here.

[B]

Slowly infiltrating them. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Hell no.

[A]

Speaking.

[B]

I would never go there. Even though I'm a white man, I would never go there.

[A]

Yeah, I would hope not. There's nothing out there for you.

[B]

No.

[A]

Well, there's actually a lot out.

[B]

There's not. Oh, no, there's not. There's none but evil, wicked people.

[A]

Yeah, that's sad.

[B]

It is broken.

[A]

Speaking of that kind of vibe, I'm not gonna lie. Let's not get political here. Yeah, but I was. We were. Me and CJ were out partying, right? We're out sitting there cracking jokes with.

[B]

Each other while he was rubbing his jeans.

[A]

C.J. was in the middle cleaning up his jeans. Right after he got done cleaning off his jeans, we went outside and we were like. We were bar hopping, right? We were at a different area. We were in downtown. Right.

[B]

Fun.

[A]

I saw something.

[B]

Oh God.

[A]

That didn't make sense to me. Now, I'm from Austin and I remember seeing this years ago, but I haven't seen in a long time. We were like downtown bar hopping and. And I saw a pack of cops on horses.

[B]

No, you did not.

[A]

I swear to God. They were down the street, Dallas, like, patrolling the street in full cop gar. Garments. Full cob garments on the biggest horse I've ever seen.

[B]

Clydesdale, sure.

[A]

Never met it, but it's. I didn't shake its goddamn hoove and say, hey, I'm Peyton. It's a Clydesdale. What the. Do you think I saw a 18 foot horse? I said, get the.

[B]

That's a brand of horse or a species.

[A]

It's a new drop. Yes, they just dropped the Clydesdale. So. But I, But I had a question. I said, how ass do you have to be to get pulled over by a horse.

[B]

What the. Where's your siren? The horse goes. He's going out like, no, you know, if I. Honest to God, if a. If a horse cop tried to pull me over, I'm hitting the dash. Yeah, I'm not respecting you or the law.

[A]

I'm making a couple right and left turns on tight alleys. Good luck, Clydesdale, I'd say.

[B]

Tell me how long your horse lasts after this. Exhaust the smoke screen on the horse.

[A]

He'S like, genuinely, what is the purpose of cop horses, dude?

[B]

What? Like, where are they stored, though? That's my thing. Where are we keeping these horse cops?

[A]

Is there until they're deployed. Is there like a barn pd? Yeah. Where?

[B]

And if you're in the middle of Dallas, it's a concrete jungle, you're not quite literally a farm anywhere.

[A]

It's like every day they have to drive three hours to pick up, drive.

[B]

Get their horses, bring them, deploy them for a four hour shift and drive them back.

[A]

It's like, are you a better or worse cop? If you get sanctioned to the horse.

[B]

You have to be lower, you have to be the lowest.

[A]

They don't trust you with the vehicles.

[B]

Yeah, they do not trust you with a. With a scat pack. And you're going on a horse. Your max is 30 miles.

[A]

But genuinely, it's like galloping. Imagine you're driving, you're like 10 over on the highway, right? And just out of your rear view, you just see a main, right? And you're like, is he pulling me over?

[B]

There's no way.

[A]

And like, okay, imagine you do get pulled over by the horse cop, right? You're pulled over on the side of the road. How does he park the goddamn horse? Like, how's that horse?

[B]

Hold on, hold on, girl. Hold on. Wait, wait now. All right, he gets off, he goes, put your hands where I can see him. He's tying him off on the tie up. All right, stay there, girl. Love you. Por Big as. He picks a carrot up, then he goes up to your window and you go, you. And you drive off, you let him tie it up and you go, you dumbass.

[A]

I just chill out and all, honestly. You know how when you get like pulled over they take your license and stuff?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where's he going? Back to the horse to ask him like, what the. Like, this guy got war.

[B]

He goes back to the horse, pulls out a kindle from like the book bag that's laid over the horse. He's like, all right, let's see. He's doing that. The horse Is sitting there playing in the wind. I would do the dash so quick.

[A]

Yeah. If you're. If you get pulled over by a horse cop, you're the worst criminal on earth. The you should Know podcast. This episode of the you should know podcast is brought to you by booking.com, booking.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Every time I'm looking for a place to stay in the United States, I go to booking.com because I know they have exactly what I am looking for.

[B]

They have a huge variety of options, from hotels to vacation rentals. And I know I can find exactly what I'm looking for. I found that booking.com has something for absolutely everyone.

[A]

That's exactly right. I am so excited because. Because I found the perfect hotel for my trip to New York on booking dot com.

[B]

Ooh.

[A]

It's walking distance to all my favorite theaters. You know, I'm a theater boy, so I can see a musical a day if I want to. And there's a gorgeous balcony where I can practice my scales, do rave.

[B]

Mi fa. So ti do.

[A]

Something like that.

[B]

No matter who you are, booking.com helps you find the stay. That is ridiculously right. Right.

[A]

For you Find exactly what you're booking for on booking dot com. Booking.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The you should know podcast.

[B]

Speak. Okay, weird thing.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And I want to. I want to make this known. I'm coming at you very partially and honest with this question.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Okay. Very honest.

[A]

This is a partial thing.

[B]

Very partial.

[A]

Hey, brother. You wanted to move to Harrison, Arkansas.

[B]

No, I did not. Never been there. Never want to go there. Home of the goblins.

[A]

I saw you get a postcard from there. You know somebody out there in Harrison? Listen, Isaac. So you just know something.

[B]

I outed myself.

[A]

No, Isaac.

[B]

No. Oh, you know Isaac Swagland. I'm tucked.

[A]

Oh, yeah, he's from there. He's there from there.

[B]

He's still playing to say me kidding again. Honest, impartial is how I'm approaching you with this.

[A]

And this does not reflect me or the, you know, podcast.

[B]

It's a genuine question. I want to. I kind of want to get the science behind.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Do you? Depending on the crowds you're around. Right. The crowds you're around.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Do you ever code switch? Now, what I mean by that, for those unfamiliar with the term, is there a. Is there a natural kind of like an audio effect, Like a work voice.

[A]

And an at home voice? There you go.

[B]

But not really working at home. Right. Let's say like Cam's Thanksgiving and like lives Thanksgiving. Do you sound the same?

[A]

I think so. I think so. I'm always myself. Yeah.

[B]

Really? Do you now? Sometimes. No, no coats. No, I don't mean to cut. That's what I'm saying. I need help. It's not, it's.

[A]

What are you code switching around.

[B]

Really? Only in the basketball space. And I figured that out because I started, I was speaking basketball on the phone and I was like, no, God, he didn't. And I went, who's? I was like, oh my God. And I don't. And I don't. No.

[A]

You.

[B]

His first chuckle the whole episode. No, but I was wondering if you do that, have you ever experienced it? What should I do?

[A]

Probably stop.

[B]

Yeah. It's not. But it's never, it's never.

[A]

Well, we know your heart.

[B]

Exactly. But it's just like, I don't know, maybe it's just basketball that brings. Yeah, like the, the slang of basketball.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I talk, I start talking quicker and whatnot. I get loose.

[A]

I don't know though, you know, I, I, I think you're not harming anybody.

[B]

There we go. Exactly. Never said anything that's harmful.

[A]

Now I was about to say. Are you dropping new words?

[B]

I'm not dropping nukes. I'm not dropping nukes. No nukes have been dropped.

[A]

I'm. One day maybe on Patreon, I'm gonna say my theory about y'all.

[B]

About us.

[A]

Yeah, one day I'm gonna say racist. Well, you know.

[B]

Yeah, you need to drop that for pitch out. What is the. Give us a sneak peek. You can't just leave.

[A]

Oh, it's about y'all in a car. I just know. Or maybe a good long shower when you're home alone.

[B]

Oh my God. So sorry to switch.

[A]

Go ahead.

[B]

Showers.

[A]

Love a good one.

[B]

Again, back to. There's a lot of new things happening in my life.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

My wife has disgusting night sweats now. She sweats like vicious sweat in the night. And she smells like a macchiato when she wakes up. She's it. Literally every night. Every morning I wake up like I had sex with a barista. Every single. Every single. I wake up like a Dunkin Donuts is in my kitchen having a pop up shop. She smells like coffee, like, like warm brewed espresso. And she gets up and goes straight to the shower and I don't.

[A]

Where's that coming?

[B]

Don't know what it is because she has one cup a day. It's not like she's down in it. I'm not, I'm literally not kidding. She wakes up smelling like Coffee.

[A]

She's like a goddamn latte cup of Folgers.

[B]

It is awful. Every second she's sticky, bro. Like, it is. It's. It is bad.

[A]

I'm not gonna lie, okay? I've worked out with live like a handful of times in my life.

[B]

I love you, babe, but damn.

[A]

Live sweat comes with a odor.

[B]

Oh. It comes with a ripe little, just pungent stench.

[A]

It is like. It is bad.

[B]

She claims she gets it from her father.

[A]

Oh, I believe.

[B]

Yeah, I believe it too. And apparently, see, Gabe, I don't know if he's. Just sweat so much. Gabe can get soaking wet, and I don't smell anything.

[A]

That's strange.

[B]

I don't smell anything. I don't know if it's from cutting weight. Like, he's been literally been sweating for, like, 20 years. Yeah, but I don't know. But live. God, I love that you're working hard, but, man, like, it's like.

[A]

How about we turn the air down in your room a little bit?

[B]

I need a candle in my car. Like, I need to light a lit candle in the floorboard whenever we're done.

[A]

Okay, let's explain, because we've all worked out with each other, right?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I genuinely don't know how I smell when I work out.

[B]

I don't think. I can't really remember. But I also genuinely don't think you go hard enough to. To exert a stench of, like, I'm really at maximum.

[A]

No, but you've known as a college athlete, and I. So. That's true.

[B]

That's true. I don't remember my smell buds from back then, though.

[A]

I know. Okay, so you. This is partial.

[B]

Go for it. I. I will co sign if it's accurate.

[A]

We're going to. This is. I'm going to explain it. Look at Cam's camera and look at the fourth camera. All a relative smell when y'all sweat, right? It's all kind of. It's all kind of golden doodle. All right. It's all kind of Labrador retriever at the park, huh? You spend four minutes in the sun, you come back inside. Who brought the dogs, huh? You know what I mean? And it's not a problem. You can't control it. But let's rank it here, Cam. Of course he's gonna have it. But it's light. It's on the walkway. Yeah, it's on the walkway. No, CJ.

[B]

Now.

[A]

CJ's been doing this thing where he'll go run, CJ will come back into the house. I'll be on the third floor of the house. And I. I won't even hear the door. I'll just be like, he's back.

[B]

And he's. I can smell. Hey, take a shower.

[A]

And the thing is, he wants to sit and talk after his run.

[B]

Nope.

[A]

You go bathe.

[B]

Unacceptable.

[A]

You go bathe.

[B]

Oh, my God. He got. He has sweat, juice, and sun all mixed in a jar of nastiness, dude. Oh, brother.

[A]

And Pierce smells like a werewolf. Yeah, Pierce smells like goddamn twilight. He's goddamn team Jacob when he walks here.

[B]

Pierce told me the other day he went to the gym, he had a personal trainer and he was lifting arms. First off, I said, why personal trainer? Was it like a promo? Like, they just gave it to you, like a free session? Oh, no. I was roped into it.

[A]

He just didn't know how to say no.

[B]

Yeah, he's like, here's a hundred dollars.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But he said, he went and he came back and said, I didn't know I had that many veins in my arms. Arm. And I said, what do you mean? He's like, I thought I only had two. He thought he had two veins in his arm. And I want. I. I almost struck him for saying that.

[A]

100.

[B]

Don't tell HR. But simply looking at your arm, I immediately see four. Yeah, I like, like, before even really like, looking for. For it. There's four.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What do you. What, what do you mean you only thought there was two? How does one even say that?

[A]

Well, it's so.

[B]

Okay, so the point of it was, like, my workout was not as intense as the personal trainer's workout. So she had more veins, like, opened up. Like when I was doing.

[A]

Yeah, he said, I. More veins opened up.

[B]

Always had them, bro. No, I know, but like, they've shown, like, they show. Show.

[A]

If you follow along on Patreon, right, All the quality club people, you watch the 10 minute talks last week we talked about our work environment here at. You should know. If you want to know what behind the scenes is like, go watch the Latest. It's episode 99 to 10 minute talks.

[B]

We did.

[A]

We interviewed Pierce.

[B]

We had gorgeous Pierce on.

[A]

And there was a lot of commentary in the comment section. Right? A lot of.

[B]

There was. There was, there was.

[A]

Right. And so I always say, I'm like, damn, I never got the corporate life. Yeah, he didn't either. He hasn't either. None of us are employees. You're the only one. And so I called my mom and she. That's what she's been doing her whole life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And she's retired now.

[B]

Retired queen. Good morning to you.

[A]

I still haven't paid her that full 10,000.

[B]

It's on layaway. Oh, my God.

[A]

Yo. And she's so sweet. She tries to bring it.

[B]

She goes. I'm just. You know, just. I was searching up words the other day, and it just randomly, the word gift came across. I don't. Does that mean anything to you? Gift?

[A]

Yeah. No, I gotta remind me, mom, I gotta pay that money.

[B]

Give it to her.

[A]

Getting her most of it. There's like a couple thousand left.

[B]

Give her all of it right now.

[A]

No. So I was calling her. I was like, mom, like, tell me about, like, corporate life. Cuz I'm thinking of, like, we're moving into a new studio. Hopefully soon. Soon. And I'm like, I want to make this, like a more like, actual work environment. Like, what are some of the things I can take from the corporate life into this life? Right. Because this is not a regular job. Yeah.

[B]

Nowhere near.

[A]

My mom brought up company potlucks, and I said, mom, potlucks might be the worst idea and the nastiest thing I have ever heard of. Of. I don't want to see Pierce's dishes. I don't want to see what tinfoil he brings into the office. I'm not gonna lie. Pil are gross, bro.

[B]

I. To hell with the dishes and the cutlery. I don't know what we would eat if y'all three had to cook. If you couldn't buy something and cater it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You physically had to make food. We would be. It would be the worst potluck ever. Go down the line right now. It's a lunch. It's a lunch in potluck. Lunchtime foods. What would you bring?

[A]

I would bring abundance of chips and snacks.

[B]

You would bring potato chips to a lunch for the work employees. You'd bring lays and you'd call it quits.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, my God. We're off to a great start. What do you think you'd bring, period, Pierce?

[A]

Either Mac and cheese or a green bean casserole. Oh, Pierce has the whitest Mac and cheese. I cannot imagine his Mac and cheese.

[B]

No crust. There's no crust on the broil setting on the other. Okay, pick which one. You gotta pick one. Hurry.

[A]

Oh, God damn.

[B]

All right, cj, what would you bring? It's not Thanksgiving, damn it. It's February. It's not. I don't need another casserole. All cj, what would you bring? Probably taco soup.

[A]

But if.

[B]

Son of a taco.

[A]

No, his Taco soup is good.

[B]

No, his taco soup is.

[A]

It makes me.

[B]

Yeah. So you're bringing. And then if I was actually making us, like, supper. It's not supper.

[A]

Supper. Are you 90?

[B]

This is little House on the Prairie. He's doing it again. It is dinner.

[A]

I would cook a Smash burgers. He has an okay smash burger. It's a pretty good smash.

[B]

But it's lunch. It's lunch. It's got to be something that you can kind of pre prep or something that.

[A]

Oh, my God, dude, we need a review. Okay, let's take it outside of ourselves, right? The idea of a potluck is disgusting.

[B]

And it's, it's, it's just bad, dude.

[A]

It's. It's like, okay, if I don't know. Especially working in corporate. We all know each other. I am not eating. Sandra from accounting, spaghetti do. Your kids are gross.

[B]

Oh, my God. I just remembered. We had a potluck when I was a teacher. And you saying that literally just unlocked that. It is.

[A]

You're.

[B]

You are describing it. You've never experienced it, but you would have thought you have. You just described it to the teeth.

[A]

It's disgusting.

[B]

Because you don't know these people.

[A]

I don't know how you clean. You are.

[B]

You don't know if they get butt, ass naked, roll on the floor, then go to bed. Yeah, you don't know what they.

[A]

And we just talked about these people's weird ass pets. Imagine they got a ferret at home. Ferret running around.

[B]

He's just like. He strokes the ferret and he's like, let's make these burgers. And he's. Oh. Oh, my God.

[A]

Corporate potluck. That should. That literally should be illegal.

[B]

The only way. The only way it gets a green check for me and I'm good to go with it is if it's themed. If it is themed. And you kind of like. Because listen, what does that change the.

[A]

Cleanliness of people's dishes.

[B]

You're so worried about the cleanliness.

[A]

Dog, I've seen the people's houses. Okay, first of all, if we're doing a corporate potluck, if I'm working at like H and R block and we're doing a corporate potluck, I'm stalking everybody on Instagram and I'm looking, looking at your kitchen and your bathroom.

[B]

So worried about the kitchen.

[A]

Because, bro, like, I don't. And I gotta see what your kids look like.

[B]

Do you clean your dishes?

[A]

I don't have dishes, dog. If your kid. You ever seen somebody's kids and you can tell what kind of environment their household is if you got a kid.

[B]

With a double front tooth missing. Oh, yeah. No, if both of their two front teeth are gone at the same time. You're. You're skipping some. You're skipping instructions at dinner.

[A]

No, but you can, you can just tell like, like your kids always got snotty nose. You're not wiping your kids nose.

[B]

You're not clean.

[A]

House ain't clean.

[B]

House ain't clean. Your dishes aren't.

[A]

I'm not going to lie. One of my favorite pastimes is stalking people's instagrams and looking at their bathroom.

[B]

You're a creep.

[A]

I know. I'm saying like, I can tell a lot from a person's bathroom.

[B]

You're a creep. Like what? Okay. Okay. I'm going to paint you a picture. Yeah, you got to tell me the person though. You got to tell me. Describe just the person. Male, female, age, stuff like that. Just like real quick, say like a.

[A]

30 year old man.

[B]

30 year old man. We'll call him a 30 year old. Kyle.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. You see a picture of Kyle's bathroom?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The rod is a little. It's a little catty wampus. What does that mean? What is that telling about him?

[A]

Oh, I see now. Now it's gonna get a little dangerous because I wouldn't even say about the Caddy. Wampus bag.

[B]

What?

[A]

That's all I gotta be careful.

[B]

Okay, there's only one. There's. He has white towels.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

There's only one hanging up on the towel holder.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's stained to hell.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

What does that tell you?

[A]

It's that he doesn't use that to dry off. Oh my God.

[B]

The commentary in the back is great.

[A]

First. Okay, keep going. Okay, first of all, he's got a problem.

[B]

Okay. He's 30.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But he has, let's say he has two empty beer cans on the corner of his shower.

[A]

He's stuck at his fraternity.

[B]

He misses college.

[A]

He misses college a lot. He misses college a lot. And we got to check his phone. That's the second.

[B]

Okay, take the rod down. He has a glass shower, but the glass door is incredibly stained, like very dirty. He does not clean it.

[A]

It describes what the towel is for. It's all coming together. Kyle.

[B]

Last but not least, Kyle, for whatever reason, he loves the scents and appreciates the women products, the feminine products for bath time.

[A]

Love it.

[B]

Say he has a woman's shampoo, a woman's condition, a woman's Body wash. Yeah. What does it tell you about Kyle?

[A]

I be. I'd be like, okay, Kyle, that's cool. I do. I know Kyle.

[B]

You know Kyle?

[A]

Have I smelled him before?

[B]

He smells like you're at mole, baby powder, snakes, Gold bond. Gold Bond.

[A]

One of the telltale signs for somebody's bathroom and it makes me creep them out. If there's too many electrical cords out, loose cords. Like if you have too many things that plug into your bathroom, something's going wrong.

[B]

Straightener, hair dryer, curtain, ipod, and all these things.

[A]

It's like most of the time I can't even tell what these cords are for. Like the actual product isn't shown in the picture. I'm just seeing cords. I'm like, what is happening in your goddamn bathroom? Also, if you have like Walmart or Target bags just around your bathroom, no, something's wrong here.

[B]

I agree on that one.

[A]

Also, if you have a to go cup in your bathroom, burn in hell.

[B]

That's you. You tried to sneak that in there, you little. That's so him. Yeah, that is so. It looks like you have five course meals in your bathroom.

[A]

Yeah, that's strange.

[B]

Your bathroom's massive. You have a huge bathroom. You have like a built in changing table.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Have you ever thought about that?

[A]

Yeah, I don't know.

[B]

What is that little corner for? I swear to God, I think it's a built in changing table.

[A]

I just use it.

[B]

I'm not kidding. It's perfect.

[A]

I sit on that. I sit on it for pictures.

[B]

You're kidding me. You sit on that thing?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Why? That's such an isolated, lonely.

[A]

Well, I'm an isolated, lonely man.

[B]

That's fitting. Touche. But yeah, I think I could eat my son's foot. I think I could put it in a sandwich and eat it.

[A]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna say something about you real quick.

[B]

Let's hear it. I'm ready for it. I think I could. I think I could take his foot. I could put some pickled onions in there, a little bit of sauce, some real pickles, a bit of a shredded lettuce, and a cheese of your pickles chicken. I down that in one clean bite, it'd be gone. His feet are so cute and they smell like. Oh, man. Now he's doing something.

[A]

Let's. Okay, let's be clear here.

[B]

Okay? Very clear.

[A]

Cuteness is an aggression.

[B]

Oh. Oh, my God. You thought I was aggressively cute with Ruby. Dude, I almost bit him the other day. No, I'm sorry. Now that is obviously half Joke. But, God, he's cute.

[A]

Now, now. Okay, so we're making it clear here. He doesn't actually want to eat his son's foot.

[B]

Not at all.

[A]

Cuteness is an aggression, and when you're like, you just want to fight on it. Yeah, I get it, but. Okay. As your son's getting older, though, I'm starting to lose it.

[B]

For what? At what?

[A]

She's starting to too much like you. I said it last week. It's too much you in there.

[B]

He's creepy.

[A]

It's like. I'm like, oh, I want to just. But I'm like, he's stupid.

[B]

You stupid idiot. Lose some weight.

[A]

Oh. All right, before we get out of here, let's get into people's favorite segment. You know what that is?

[B]

Pop culture paying a Kim. Pop culture paying in camp.

[A]

Now, this is probably one of the more inappropriate pop cultures.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

And it's the second thing I'm getting from Twitter this week. I brought up the Montoya thing earlier, right? I saw this thing on Twitter, and it was like this exotic body art guy. Have you seen this?

[B]

Oh, my God. Are you talking about the guy with the paint? Oh, dude.

[A]

Dude, yes. Okay, so if you don't know, there's this video going on on Twitter, and I don't know what the purpose of this art show was.

[B]

Freaks. Yes, These are freaks.

[A]

You just see some ladies in the back, they're like.

[B]

They're just openly like this.

[A]

So let me give some context, right, please. This is video, and it's like a crowd of, like, 13 people, right? Like a square regular room. And it's this big, muscular man, butt naked, no clothes on.

[B]

Butt, ass naked.

[A]

And he's fully painted in white paint.

[B]

He is drip. He's not. He is dripping in eggshell white.

[A]

It's like they dumped paint on his body. And you see him, and I'm saying everything's out, right? And he. He's gotten a little blood flow.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, it's not flaccid. We'll just say that.

[A]

And I'm not gonna lie. Impressive on the man. This guy is like a goddamn horse, brother. And he's painting the ground with. With his man meat, right? He's hitting splits. Brother is agile, acrobatic.

[B]

My God.

[A]

Right? Now, what's the purpose of this show?

[B]

What's the convention called there? I'm gonna call it 12 freaks in a Nude Guy. Because there's. There's not a single sign. There's not a tv. There's not an announcer. Literally not a Flyer. There's not a brand deal. It's literally a butt naked guy bricked up, dripping in pain, hitting the full blown splits, adjusting is Johnson on the floor. Floor painting with this. That's all it is. And then there's random people literally like this.

[A]

Okay. And that's the thing. When he walked out, no one was like, yeah, they knew what they were coming.

[B]

They knew they were getting naked. Painted white guys.

[A]

They were just like, oh, yep, there he is. Yep.

[B]

Here's Trevor. Here we go. Let's, let's. Let's give him a round of applause.

[A]

Oh, wow, look at that circle.

[B]

Okay, dude.

[A]

Then freaky. And this might be my freaking is coming out. I said, imagine Cam doing that art.

[B]

No. Why?

[A]

You know how low you have to get? You're like, not yet. Cam would have to damn near lay on his stomach to get some drawing.

[B]

And my chain's gone. Hey, that's not true. If I had whatever enhancements he had.

[A]

No, I think that. I think that's pure bread.

[B]

He definitely took something from a gas station.

[A]

Oh, he might have.

[B]

There's no. That was looking straight at you. There's no way. There's no way. He was like this. That is not.

[A]

It went like.

[B]

It is not. He was nats. Not natural.

[A]

Okay. I'm saying, what would you draw?

[B]

Oh, I don't know. It'd have to be something just short and concise. Like so something a small parameter that you just. You don't get too quick.

[A]

You're not making 3D art with that.

[B]

Oh, my God. And my hip would dislocate. By the time I got down to the. The ground, hip would pop out. I'd probably fall directly on my. My johnson and I'd be in a lot of pain.

[A]

Imagine. Okay.

[B]

That was a nimble giant.

[A]

He was thinking, dude, he was 10 out of 10 in every aspect. Creativity, art, body, skill.

[B]

Oh, my God. Presence.

[A]

Okay, now I want you to describe me.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

Doing this art from the walk out. I want you to give me the full show.

[B]

Okay. The first thing that would happen, you'd be painted. It's still gonna be the white paint, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But the first thing that would happen, your back would be to the audience. Okay. They'd play your theme song. And all you would do, you would start the show like this. They don't see anything. They see naked, long ass, body dripping in paint. And you would start the show like this. And you just look at her go. And you'd stare. And then you would open up and you'd Be like, you'd open up, bricked up. You'd start walking, right? And you'd just be walking up to the thing. And then you. You would definitely do something handsy. You do something handsy. I don't know. You'd be like.

[A]

Like, you.

[B]

You'd get in front of the crowd, you'd be like. And they'd go, oh. And then you're just sitting there and you go, it's time for the show. You start. You start popping fingers. Fingers and stuff. You're like. And then unfortunately, due to your dexterity, you couldn't get too low. It'd be a bad performance.

[A]

Wouldn't need to get too low, but.

[B]

Oh. Oh. Tripod jumps in the conversation.

[A]

But I make splatter paint.

[B]

You'd be like to go, oh, that'd be your skill. You'd literally be like that. You take your paint, you go, you go. And it's just like this. That's what you do. And you make a smiley face out of. Out of paint from your splatter. You literally go. It just keeps coming right back every time. That's what you would do. And then you would thank him with a bow. You'd literally go like this. You'd be like.

[A]

Imagine my gnarled footprint from the pain.

[B]

Oh, my God. That'd be the scariest part of the show. Your feet would be out. They'd literally be looking at you. They start. Your eyes, they'd go down there. They'd be like. And they'd be terrified. Your talons, dude. Your big toe. It literally looks like a cartoon big toe.

[A]

It is bad.

[B]

It looks like a regular big toe. And someone took a cartoon hammer and they went, whap. Went. It just got wide and swollen.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

Well, if I needed a warm up for the show, I'd call you. So here we go. All right. That was pop culture. Pop culture. Pay Nickam, get us out of here. Cam.

[B]

Thank every single one of you for coming back to another week's episode. This is episode 152. Most, most importantly, make sure you tell P on his Instagram here in the comments. Tell him happy birthday. A little happy birthday gift you can get him. Send this to your friend. Tell him to go wish him a happy birthday and just keep the train going.

[A]

I'm 26.

[B]

26. Birthday is a very special year for him.

[A]

It's not.

[B]

No, it is. It is, buddy. It is a lot of things coming for y'all. Everything you need to know is linked in the description below. And to confuse the casuals get your good karma. You already know. No, it's going to be hbdp.

[A]

Happy birthday. So maybe on the extended clip I'll get a gift. Thank you to all my lovely employees, my friends and my family for all the gifts this year.

[B]

Yep. All the gifts that you're gonna get on your birthday.

[A]

All right, guys, thank you so much for watching this episode of the, you know, podcast. Join that Patreon. This was a. It got a little explicit.

[B]

Oh, my God. It was great.

[A]

It's so. Just wait to see what happens on Patreon. Great for the extended episode. Remember, quality royalty gets a bonus episode every month and a live stream that's coming up. We love you so much. Remember, 1 out of 10 koala bears don't make it home to Christmas. And we'll see you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Next time.

[B]

No, just two gallons of the white paint.