INTRODUCING MY GIRLFRIEND! -You Should Know Podcast-

Summary

You Should Know Podcast Summary
Episode: INTRODUCING MY GIRLFRIEND!
Release Date: February 24, 2025
Hosts: Peyton Hardin & Cameron Kennedy
Produced by: Wood Elf Media

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I. Introduction

In episode 153 of the You Should Know Podcast, hosts Peyton Hardin and Cameron Kennedy dive into a blend of personal anecdotes, humorous exchanges, and role-playing scenarios that highlight their enduring friendship and individual quirks. The episode is peppered with their trademark banter, showcasing their ability to make light of even the most challenging situations.

---

II. Birthday Stories and the "Cursed Birthday"

Peyton opens the discussion by recounting Cameron's recent birthday and the series of unfortunate events that have come to be known as Cameron's "cursed birthdays."

• Cameron shares his history of cursed birthdays, starting from the tragic loss of his coach on his 15th birthday:
  "[07:57] B: Yeah, hell, he was working."
  "[08:50] A: No, no, no, no."

• Cameron narrates his 21st birthday mishap in Arkansas with friends attempting to celebrate at a casino, which ultimately fell through:
  "[12:01] A: They know you. They go, you're back again, dude."
  "[13:38] B: So, yeah, I ended up having a good birthday."

• The hosts discuss how despite past challenges, they strive to make each birthday enjoyable, demonstrating resilience and camaraderie.

---

III. The Challenge of Receiving Gifts

The conversation shifts to Cameron's difficulty in receiving gifts, highlighting his social awkwardness.

• Cameron admits:
  "[15:12] B: I don't know how to receive gifts."
  "[16:06] A: Yeah. I'm like, this isn't a show and tell."

• Peyton offers humorous yet practical advice on balancing honesty without overcomplicating gift exchanges:
  "[16:28] B: Hold on, we're gonna stay on that."
  "[17:40] A: You can be like, oh, like perfect example, the DJ controller."

• The discussion underscores the importance of genuine appreciation while navigating personal discomforts.

---

IV. The Awkward Introduction of a Girlfriend

A significant portion of the episode features a playful role-play where Cameron envisions introducing his girlfriend, Lisa, to Peyton and his family.

• Peyton expresses his apprehension:
  "[51:14] A: I get that, too, sir."
  "[54:25] B: ...I just don't know how to, like, talk to people for the first time."

• The mock scenario illustrates the tension and humor inherent in blending personal lives with close friendships:
  "[67:35] A: This a museum or is this my house? You're like, come on, baby."
  "[73:31] A: Because she's the woman of the hour."

• The role-play emphasizes their dynamic as friends who support each other through life's significant moments, albeit with plenty of jest.

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V. Fast Food Debates

The hosts engage in a spirited debate over their favorite fast-food chains, primarily focusing on McDonald's, Chick-fil-A, and Panda Express.

• Peyton defends Chick-fil-A's consistency and service quality:
  "[39:14] A: Chick fil a service is incredible."

• Cameron staunchly favors McDonald's, citing its global presence and classic offerings:
  "[40:11] A: They are number one."
  "[40:56] B: McDonald's is the best fast food ever."

• They humorously scrutinize each other's preferences, reflecting their differing tastes and the playful rivalry that enriches their friendship.

---

VI. Parental Interactions with Technology

The episode also touches on how their parents interact with modern technology, adding another layer of humor and relatability.

• Peyton jokes about his dad's interaction with Alexa:
  "[46:19] B: I think Mike needs a friend."
  "[46:30] A: A guy he works with."

• Cameron highlights the generational gap:
  "[48:32] B: I get it."
  "[49:04] B: I'm just saying it's the same thing."

• This segment underscores the challenges and funny moments that arise when older generations adapt to new technologies.

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VII. Conclusion and Advertisements

Throughout the episode, Peyton and Cameron seamlessly integrate advertisements for sponsors like SelectQuote, Shopify, and Booking.com, maintaining the show's lively and informal tone.

• SelectQuote Promotion:
  "[24:02] B: ...get [e-mail]..."
  "[24:31] A: It sure is, Uncle P."

• Shopify Promotion:
  "[36:00] B: No, I know you don't care either."
  "[37:48] A: Upgrade your business and get the same checkout..."

• Booking.com Promotion:
  "[50:05] A: ...something for absolutely everyone."
  "[50:51] A: Find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com."

These segments are cleverly woven into the conversation, ensuring they complement rather than disrupt the episode's flow.

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Notable Quotes

• Cameron on His Cursed Birthdays:
  "[05:59] B: Wait, honestly."

• Peyton on Receiving Gifts:
  "[16:12] A: You need to be honest."

• Cameron Expressing Awkwardness:
  "[18:24] A: If the camera..."

• Peyton Mocking Traditional Etiquette:
  "[60:39] B: Have you seen CJ's calves?"
  "[60:45] B: She."

• Cameron on Shower Routines:
  "[53:02] B: Yeah, It's a luxury not a lot of people get."

---

Final Thoughts

Episode 153 of the You Should Know Podcast delivers a rich tapestry of humor, candid conversations, and heartfelt moments that both entertain and resonate with listeners. Peyton and Cameron's dynamic interplay exemplifies the essence of close friendship, where teasing and support coexist harmoniously. Whether discussing the trials of celebrating birthdays, the nuances of receiving gifts, or the hilarity of introducing a significant other, this episode encapsulates the spirit of the show—informative, engaging, and thoroughly enjoyable.

For more insights, personal stories, and laughs, subscribe to the You Should Know Podcast and join Peyton and Cameron on their journey of shared experiences and unfiltered camaraderie.

Transcript

[A]

What you've just heard is one of the many deaths from the monkey, the new major motion picture from Osgood Perkins, Stephen King and James Wan. Experience it in theaters everywhere this Friday because everybody dies. And that's life. Let's have some fun.

[B]

I can say to my new Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra, hey, find a keto friendly restaurant nearby and text it to Beth and Steve.

[A]

And it does without me lifting a.

[B]

Finger so I can get in more squats anywhere I can. 1, 1, 2, 3. Will that be cash or credit? Credit. 4 Galaxy S25 Ultra the AI companion that does the heavy lifting. So you can do. You get [e-mail] compatible select apps requires Google Gemini account. Results may vary based on input. Check responses for accuracy. The you Should Know Podcast hey everybody, welcome back to the you Should Know podcast episode 153. Round of applause please. I love it. I love it. I love it. Hey everybody, welcome back to you Should Know podcast. If you're new here, if you're not really subscribe. What is it? Pressed ear wrong? If you even more below that you see the comment section fulfilled with your name, guess what? Even more wrong. Go ahead and fill that out. Get your good karma.

[A]

Yee yee yee yee yee yee.

[B]

That's it. That's it. Hey everybody, welcome back to youo Should Know podcast. Thank you everybody for coming back and thank you for all the birthday wishes last week and a lot of y'all fulfilled my birthday gift by joining the Koala Club. It is going crazy over there in the Koala Club. Remember we have three tiers, $5 tier, $10 tier, $15 tier and that $15 tiers where you can watch this exact episode and the episodes before completely uncensored and ad free. We're getting a little in trouble with the UNCE starting to see all the stuff that we say that we mute on here. But y'all are loving it and we love that y'all are loving it. Also, we have new shows coming to Patreon. If you're in the Quality Club and in Quality Royalty, y'all got a sneak peek of the new show that is coming to the Quality Club. So make sure you go over there to see all the new content. Remember to hit that subscribe button. Send this podcast to all your friends, your enemies, your loved ones and the people that you hate the most. We love you so much and it means the world that y'all are here. I love you. I love you. Now on to the rest of the episode. The you should know podcast. We got go host G back in the studio.

[A]

Oh, look at that mic.

[B]

Okay. Yep, yep, yep. Your son and your son's friends are going to watch that now.

[A]

That's. Now I got to start thinking that now with the things I do. Let's talk about your body.

[B]

Yeah, I got on a crop top. Everybody hide me up.

[A]

Let's get into. Get that crop top. Get that crop top on. Give him 360 on. Make him shake it. Shake it, shake it, shake it. Spin, spin, spin. Oh, oh, whoa, whoa, wait.

[B]

Oh, whoa, whoa, wait.

[A]

Hey, hey, hey, hey. My God.

[B]

It was there.

[A]

You could, if you. Okay, say. Say this fails, right? God forbid, say, our kingdom, it burns to the ground.

[B]

Probably Pierce's.

[A]

You would immediately have a. It probably would be on Pierce's hands. You would have two jobs lined up instantly.

[B]

Name the first one.

[A]

Second one.

[B]

Mute it.

[A]

Well, of whatever you want to say. That's your first. Second one. You'd be hired for bachelorette trips.

[B]

Dude. I think I would be the guy.

[A]

That would be like. She's like, no, I'm fine. That would be. That'd be your part time gig.

[B]

Have you seen me with baby oil?

[A]

People uncomfortable. What did you just say?

[B]

You seen me with baby oil? You ever seen me lathered?

[A]

I've never seen you with baby oil or Vaseline on your body.

[B]

You ever seen. You ever been to Krispy Kreme and you looked at that conveyor belt?

[A]

Fresh off the belt.

[B]

God, I'm a little warm.

[A]

Oh, my God. A little warm donut just glazed up.

[B]

I'm like a glazed donut that's been dropped.

[A]

I seen you with glaze.

[B]

I'm like a glazed donut that's been dropped on the floor a little bit because there's a little hair.

[A]

Hair and some dust and couple tags. Yeah, that's you. That's you.

[B]

I'm not going to lie.

[A]

That's you.

[B]

One of the things I love to do with CJ is go in his room while he's working and doing something important like. Like we pay him to do. And I just moon him.

[A]

No. The other day on his bed.

[B]

Oh, yeah. But I walked in there the other day and he was like, editing, and I just. I mooned him and I said, turn to your left. He looked. He goes, there's toilet paper. They're done.

[A]

No way, no way, no way. You are a barbarian toy. I don't even want to touch your head. Toilet paper in your.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How do you not feel that? That used to contact where you can't even feel tp.

[B]

Yeah, that's like a. Like a little winter forest back there. It keep you warm dog.

[A]

We are. We're family with manscaped at this point.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And you have a full blown forest.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Use your manscape.

[B]

You shave your butt. I have before I forgot. You and Liv get.

[A]

No. Oh no. Oh no, no, no. Pretty blame.

[B]

Pretty vanilla.

[A]

I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. He's mad because now you gotta work. Here we go. So I. You can ask me real quick. How was your way buddy? You? My week was all right. It was decent. Whatever. Regular week. A lot. A lot of sleep still out there in the. In the nether verse.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't get that.

[B]

Yeah, it's okay. You have no peace now.

[A]

You're weak.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Can we talk about that? I'm going to start this episode off. Last week was your birthday.

[B]

Happy birthday to me.

[A]

Happy, happy one week old birthday.

[B]

You're closer to the grave, am I right?

[A]

26 years of age.

[B]

Till I see the kingdom.

[A]

First episode as a 26 year old man, he comes in with his hanging out and his lower back just readily available.

[B]

Yes or no? Because you have seen my crack a couple times since we started recording.

[A]

I've seen more than.

[B]

It's nine in the morning, right? And so my shirt rides up a little bit. You saw the cheek from the front?

[A]

I saw it. I saw those from the front is wicked. The fact that I can see your ass from the front. You have jobs. You have job security.

[B]

I'm like oatmeal and peanut butter. I'm thick as hell.

[A]

You are. You are. You are golf ball through a garden hose. You are very. You're. You're class A. You're a big old glass of milk. Okay, chocolate milk, of course, but you're. You're a damn good.

[B]

I'm a chocolate milk with a little bit of creamer in it.

[A]

No, you're like skim milk and then they put like an off brand chocolate syrup in it to mix it. That's what you are.

[B]

You're not.

[A]

You're not Nesquik. You're not the good shit. You're like a nasty home created milk.

[B]

I'm not gonna lie.

[A]

If you hurt your tummy after you indulge in it.

[B]

At what age is it wrong for to drink chocolate milk before Chris Hansen comes?

[A]

13.

[B]

Yeah. You know, 13 is where you.

[A]

You're done. You're in high school. You don't need chocolate milk. Chocolate milk is for people that don't drink water, that they need their sugar somewhere. You're 13. No.

[B]

Yeah. I want. The first time I went grocery shopping with cj, he got excited to pick up the Yoo Hoo. And I said, hey, brother, that's not going to fly anymore.

[A]

He's. Can we. Okay, we're going to save you. But CJ's a little ass kid.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Back to you and your week.

[B]

My birthday week?

[A]

Your birthday week?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes or no? Is it fair, very fair. To say your birthdays are cursed.

[B]

I have a cursed birthday. Anybody that is close to me in life knows my birthdays are always cursed. I've not had a good birthday since I was a kid. That's different. I was working. So, yeah, hell, he was working.

[A]

I was working. That's ass. Your week, Your birthday weekend, to be specific, was so such a curveball after curveball after curveball.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We damn near got frostbite.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You had a cupcake.

[B]

I can break this down.

[A]

Go for it.

[B]

I can break it down. I'll skip a couple years first. What started the curse when I was like, I don't know, like, 15. My coach died on my birthday. So I was like, okay, this. Well, the signs were there. He was like 550, but he used a big dude. 6, 7, 5. 50 could only work. Yeah, that kind of big. We're only five.

[A]

He had a prescription to Crocs. £550.

[B]

Yeah. Recipes. Big Tim. We called him Big Tim, so.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Dude is large.

[A]

Oh, no. If your nickname has an adjective in it, then it is. It is well deserved.

[B]

Yeah. He was on my letterman.

[A]

Stinky Rob. He's. There's a cloud of gas behind him.

[B]

He's like, yeah, like Big Tim. And he would fall asleep everywhere. The signs were there. And he won a thousand dollars at my house, like, two nights before that, too. He took a thousand dollars from my crib and bounced.

[A]

No, he bounced for good. He bounced forever. It was an eternal bounce. He said, there's that thousand. I'll see you soon, maybe.

[B]

Yeah, well. Recipes, Big Tim. So he died. And then the next year, Texas had like, the worst snowstorm ever. And we lost power for, like, two weeks. So I had my birthday in the cold. No electricity, no Internet, no running water. You're cuddling with your family like this. Like in my living room like this. We're all trying to stay warm.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

The one year is my 21st birthday. I had no friends in Austin, right? So Cam was like, hey, just fly down to Arkansas, right? I flew down to Arkansas for my 21st birthday.

[A]

Wrong airport. Picked an airport 2 1/2 hours away from me.

[B]

Oh, I had a convict come drive me across Arkansas. Like, this is my first time meeting this. I love him. Now. That guy was a criminal.

[A]

He said. He said. He said, get in the car. Hey, you pee? Yeah. What's up, man? Get in the car.

[B]

Yeah, so we go in. Cam was in came and live were telling me. They're like, hey, there's this one club, like, by us. There's one club. We can go there for your 21st birthday. I was like, hell, yeah. I get dressed up. It's like, I'm in this, like, 300 square foot apartment. The and yalls carpet was crazy nasty.

[A]

Piss everywhere.

[B]

And so I remember, I was like, okay, 21st birthday. I'm lit. We drive to this club. It is black, that no one is in there. The parking lot is empty. I spent my 21st birthday in the back of Rhonda, like, drinking a beer. He came, tried to make it cool. He was like, lick your ID and put on your forehead. I was like, I want to go to bed.

[A]

We went through McDonald's drive for your birthday, dude.

[B]

Dude, I always had, like.

[A]

So you had a big chicken for your birthday dinner, dog.

[B]

We went to the bathroom, and I was standing up on the counter to celebrate.

[A]

There's videos of this dog. Oh, my God. You had someone. One of our friends had, like, like, a third leftover bottle of, like, vodka or something, and you were drinking it in the back of rock.

[B]

Oh, it's actually so sad.

[A]

God, that's sad. That's so Peyton.

[B]

Yeah. So I've never, like, had, like, a good birthday. So I was like, okay, this year I'm gonna have a good birthday. I want my friends to come. Like, you know, we have access to more things now. We have some funds, and we're all in the same city now. We could go do something. So we had. We had the idea of driving across state lines to Oklahoma, and we're gonna go to the casino. This is a place we all love to go. We've always had good times. I was like, there's gonna be like, eight or nine of us. So I want us to all be together. It's a Saturday night. I want us to all be together and not worry about, like, if we're gonna play together, I want to reserve a blackjack table in this casino, which is hard to do, very borderline impossible.

[A]

But brilliant idea, you know?

[B]

And so we have Pierce call this casino. Hey, I'm with the. You should know podcast. And they know us in there because every time we're in there, we take pictures.

[A]

They know you. They go, you're back again, dude. We went in, a bartender literally said, you're back. And I said, oh, you're in too deep.

[B]

You are in. She knew my order. I was like, she had another double.

[A]

He said, you're like.

[B]

So everything was set. Pierce called and was like, hey, with the you should know podcast, we want to deserve a blackjack table. They were so accommodating.

[A]

Above and beyond.

[B]

Above and more than we asked, they said, yes, we'll get you this blackjack table 9 or 8pm it's just for you and your friends. We'll have security there for you, and you can record if you want, which is leaf. Like, you can never hear that at a casino.

[A]

And, hey, we'll keep the table all night. If y'all want to go play slots, you want to go eat a dinner, you can come back. It's only for y'all.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I go, holy shit.

[B]

So that was the plan. We're all ready. We have K Rob coming down from Arkansas. Great time come to the day. We are supposed to go, like, hours. Yeah, three hours before we're supposed to go to the casino. I get a call from Pierce. He goes, hey, hey, bad news, P. And I'm like, are you kidding me? He goes, yeah, your voice, it. Does that not sound like this is so accurate? He was like, yeah, I don't know what's going on, man, but they're saying it's not happening anymore. They said, you can come at 5pm and we can just bring you to a table. And I was like, so how do we go from having our own blackjack table, having our own security and being able to film to them saying, we'll just walk you to a blackjack table.

[A]

What the hell?

[B]

So that's it. So it's Chalk Dog Casino. You basically. So how about that? I don't know if they have a website, but if there's reviews of the place, y'all could do what you want.

[A]

Leave a one star.

[B]

So, yeah, I ended up having a good birthday.

[A]

You did. And we. We. We went. So, okay. Once that failed, we quickly had to. We had to rally behind. Pierce was like, dude, I swear to God, I'm gonna ring some necks. Just give me the call. I said, that can't happen. Pierce, calm down. But let's figure out what we want to do. We ended up going to Topgolf 30 degree weather. We ended up going to top this is where we need. And we didn't loop in live in the conversation. That's where we needed a woman.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because the guys just like, oh, we can swing some balls, drink some beers, and we'll go somewhere afterwards.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Not one second did someone go, oh, it's a bit cold outside. We go to Topgolf. It was literally 37 degrees with the wind chill of 20.

[B]

Yeah. It was freezing cold.

[A]

20 degrees is what it felt like. And we're outside swinging clubs and none of us are even good at golf besides those two.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we're hands are bricked up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Beers are literally hurting my throat how cold they are. The heaters are on, but it's so windy you don't even feel them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But we still had a fun time.

[B]

And everybody knows about my birthday. Curse of the Fred. So everybody. I could tell people are miserable here, but they're like fun Pete.

[A]

They go, heavy birthday buddy.

[B]

But we ended up going to a club. They treated us very nice. Very nice. And then the next day, we had a dinner with the whole team. It was a great. A great time.

[A]

Beautiful.

[B]

But there's one thing, and I want to know if you have to deal with this too.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

I don't know how to receive gifts.

[A]

No, you are. You are strangely bad at that.

[B]

It is. It is so awkward. I don't know if it's an attention thing, but I'm an attention whore. Like, that's why I love tour. I'm like, there's 800 people cheering for me.

[A]

What if one mother gives you a bag? You are sweating and you don't know what to do. You go, oh, thanks. I really wanted that. Yeah, I do.

[B]

I'm so. I do not do that. I. He said. I go, oh, you do.

[A]

You go, oh, thanks. That's your thing. That's what you do. Oh.

[B]

But okay, genuinely, how do you go about receiving a gift? Because I just revert back to four year old Baden. Like, you know how, like, on Christmas you're sitting. I immediately want to sit on the ground. Crisscross applesauce.

[A]

You revert back to being four years old when you receive a gift.

[B]

Yeah. So, like, I pull everything out and, like, I have everybody looking at me, so I don't. I hold it up, like, showing people.

[A]

Yeah. I'm like, this isn't a show and tell. Receive. Okay, first thing starts with honesty.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

Okay. You need to be honest.

[B]

That's not true. You know what?

[A]

I'm. Next year, I'm gonna go out and find the Worst T shirt I can find. And I'ma buy it in your size. And if you go, oh, this is sick. Thanks. Look, everyone, I'm like, you coward. You coward. You're a liar. Wait, honestly.

[B]

Hold on, we're gonna stay on that. You're not supposed to be honest about gifts.

[A]

Yes, you are.

[B]

No, you are not.

[A]

Yes, you are.

[B]

You love everything.

[A]

You love everything. But okay, there's honesty and there's brutal honesty. You. You give like your own manifesto for every gift. You're like, dude, I. I literally needed a shirt that looked like this because three years ago on my cursed birthday, I lost one. I swear to God, I used to have this. This is the greatest gift. I'm like, it's a shirt, P. Relax. That's what you do. You just be like, bro, sick shirt. Thanks, love.

[B]

Okay, but if I did that, you'd be like, you're full of shit. You know you would.

[A]

Because no one can read you. No one can. In your mind, you're a four year old crisscross in front of your mom for us. You're a 26 year old man with a double crown of coke in front of you, a smoked old fashioned. You just finished. You're at a steakhouse and you're like, oh, it's like, what are you doing? Honesty.

[B]

I don't think you should be honest.

[A]

With gifts and enjoyment.

[B]

I do enjoy it. I. I love, I love.

[A]

There's levels. What do you mean you are over? Enjoyment is one to 100. You're like 206.

[B]

Okay. You all act like if I were not to give that maximum effort, y'all would call me an.

[A]

No, because there's. You can tell. You can tell the ebbs and the flows, right? If I get you something, that's a good gift.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You can be like, oh, like perfect example, the DJ controller.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Bro, this is sick. Oh, and then you went right into it. You were so enamored by the gift. You weren't putting on a performance, but the things before it. Dude, I swear to God, I almost bought those sweats the other day. I had those in my cart. Dude, you're the best, man. I'm like, calm down. Like, you are. You're literally lying to my face. No, those are the ones you got to just. Okay.

[B]

But the thing is, I'm trying to overcompensate. Not because I don't like it, it's because I'm awkward. And so I think my awkwardness is showing. And so I'm trying to. I'm trying to like, outplay the awkwardness. You know what I mean? I don't like eye contact. I don't like. Especially if people record me opening a gift. Dude, I'm shutting down like this. Look.

[A]

If the camera. Look, hold. Hold the fake camera. You do like this. Oh, dude, this is awesome. Thank you. You just keep like. Like, dude. Oh, my God. Like, where do you. Where do you even make. This is it. Officers, you're like, okay.

[B]

Receiving gifts is top three most awkward things.

[A]

No, it's not.

[B]

Happy birthday. Getting sung. Happy birthday. First of all, no one sang me Happy Birthday.

[A]

Well, we all told you in the club. It's kind of just mixed with the tunes. I was like, happy birthday. I was just feeling myself. It was fun.

[B]

It was really fun. But happy birthday. Opening gifts.

[A]

What are you gonna say, Nick, blowing out the candles? Are you just afraid of birthdays?

[B]

Is that your thing?

[A]

Are you just afraid of birthdays?

[B]

I have the birthday text script. There's so much trauma behind my birthdays, but that's okay.

[A]

First off, thank God I know where the curse came from.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Your coach died.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

On your birthday.

[B]

Yeah. £500.

[A]

Yeah. And about. Oh, man. Bless my soul. That was gonna be.

[B]

I love Tim and his kids.

[A]

I love Big Tim. Big Tim.

[B]

Big Tim.

[A]

Big Tim. Now he's. He's gone. But that happened to you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that is your trauma.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think if you can let go.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Let go of the spirit. Big Tim.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You just give it back to him. You'll have a blessed birthday.

[B]

Literally, a weight off my shoulder.

[A]

You go, Mr. Goat.

[B]

Have that back.

[A]

And you go. A big gasp of air.

[B]

I love Tim, bro. Tim was really close to me. I love. But you know the crazy part about that. We'll get off of this. The day it's, like, my birthday. Right. He died. I went to a UT basketball game, like, an hour after I found out. I was literally like this, watching basketball. H. Cooper was there. He's like, what's wrong with you?

[A]

You're like, big Tim.

[B]

No, I didn't tell him. And then I got home, and then my. And then Cooper's mom called. My mom was like, hey, what was wrong with Peyton? She's like, coach just.

[A]

Yeah, your mom. Coach decided, hold on. I got to get this out the oven. See you later. Wait. This is a true test.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Did you cry?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Okay. I was about to.

[B]

Back then. I would cry now.

[A]

Now you're callous.

[B]

Dude, I've run out of tears.

[A]

What are the odds if I die, he doesn't shed A tear. I say six out of 10. I say it's more. It is more than just a coin flip. If you even cried at my death.

[B]

No, you'd get about two hours of jokes. Like, two hours of, like, clowning you for dying. And then I would cry.

[A]

You would alone fun of me for dying. That's how I just said.

[B]

You know, that's how I cope.

[A]

Dead body. Not even. It's not even cold yet.

[B]

Oh, I'm looking at you.

[A]

I don't know how I died. Maybe I. Maybe I had. There was a vindictive.

[B]

Well, if you were in front of me and I'd be like, who's moving it? So we get the. For me.

[A]

I don't deadlift anymore. Guys get that forklift.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You would make jokes about me.

[B]

You would want me to.

[A]

Not when I'm. Let me get cold first. Let me get in the casket. Let him embalm me, put me in a nice suit. Sorry. You would make. Yeah, Peyton. I would cry for three weeks. Consecutive, I think it's. I would not have a bright day for a month.

[B]

That means a lot. Well, you should. It's me. I'm a shining star in your dim.

[A]

Oh, my God. Wizard. I'm a shining star you dim world.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I cannot. You would joke if I died.

[B]

You would want me to. That's what best friends do.

[A]

No, that's after. That's like at the funeral. You do like a little five minute stand up.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

That's money I'm talking about. Liv calls you. Cam's dead, and you'd be like, about time. Like, what? What do you mean? You go, what, he choke on too much food? Like, how'd he die? She's like, you asshole.

[B]

You're like, well, I wouldn't do it to Liv. Let CJ come around or something.

[A]

CJ would cry.

[B]

CJ would cry. By died 100%.

[A]

Pierce would be gone. Pierce would be out of there.

[B]

Yeah, I feel like Pierce. Do not talk like Pierce.

[A]

Actually, your work here is done. Like you were. Ties are severed. Get out. Oh, my God. But yes, your birthdays have been cursed. But you all. I want to give you a quick round of applause. You always make the best out of it.

[B]

Oh, thank you.

[A]

You get defeated. You get defeated and you get real moody. Really moody when you're. Oh, my God. When you're mad. Just puts a sour taste in everyone's mouth.

[B]

I get moody.

[A]

I go, it's not that bad. It's not that bad, boss. It'll be all right. Too much caffeine. I'm starting to scare myself. I don't think sides are turning on me.

[B]

Really? How so?

[A]

Caffeine.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't think I'm that moody, though.

[A]

You not being moody is like. It's like the water not being blue.

[B]

You think I'm moody?

[A]

Are you nuts?

[B]

How am I moody?

[A]

Because. Moody because you keep it in so much. When it finally does, when there's too much pressure, that bottle cap flies off. It's getting everyone soiled. How so? Cuz you're. You're very much. This. It's okay. Maybe I should have done. You know what? That's my fault. You know what? He up. But that's my fault. It's not Pierce's fault. It's on me. That's not CJ's fault. That's me. Oh, Cam could have done that. I should have done it first. And then you finally hit that point where you just go, you. I'm the one. You suck. You suck. I'll get rid of everybody. I built this and I'll do it again. That's you.

[B]

I have never said that.

[A]

Oh, you thought it. Oh, be honest. You go. I'll get a different host. I'll make sure he's not white. I'll get a different editor. I'll get everything I need to live a same happy life.

[B]

They're gonna think I'm an asshole.

[A]

No, he's not. He's a beautiful human being inside and out. Especially insides.

[B]

Yeah, you should know. Podcast this episode is brought to you by Select Quote. There are so many things in life we just never get around to taking up that hobby. Cleaning out, garage. You know, little things that don't really make huge differences in our life yet. There's one thing that most of us probably have been neglecting that can have a huge impact on our family's future. It's life insurance. And with Select Quote, getting covered with the right policy for you is easier and more affordable than you may think.

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[B]

That's SelectQuote.com YSK now, on to the rest of the episode. What are you doing for Black History Month?

[A]

See, now, okay, what do you want me to say to that?

[B]

What? You honestly did.

[A]

I just had a great month.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I hung out with my wife.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hey, that's gotta come for something. What do you want? What do you want me to say?

[B]

I just.

[A]

I was just wondering, how would you like me to celebrate?

[B]

I don't have any kind of like.

[A]

Okay, I had a fantastic month.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And I was.

[B]

Did you say thanks?

[A]

Did I say, like, did you wake up and pray to mlk? What do you mean? Did I say thanks? What do you mean? Who am I thanking?

[B]

You're just like, sorry.

[A]

Yes. But like, thanks, bro. I love rap music. The NBA is great.

[B]

I think that might be okay. No, but just like walking around with your civil apology.

[A]

Walking around with my civil apology and you're shit, dude. I just, I. All of February I'm hooded up like this. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. If I was there, I wouldn't have happened. I've always loved you.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

What am I supposed to see a guy in the street just walk up, be like, I appreciate you?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're kidding.

[B]

Maybe. Well, I wouldn't know. I don't know what it's like. Okay. Yeah, no, I'm just. I'm just teasing you. I like, I like to play on the date. You know what? People, like are starting to get on me in the comments about all the white jokes I make.

[A]

Thank God.

[B]

You know, I don't care either.

[A]

No, I know you don't care. And that's the duality of man. Yeah, you can let them rip. I say one. There's an FBI agent in my house.

[B]

Speaking of white man. Your son. Right.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

3/4 white man looks like an accountant.

[A]

1/4 black. He's 3/4 white and 1/4 black.

[B]

Oh, we're gonna. Our time is coming. Oh, no.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But speaking of them.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[B]

So I've FaceTimed your. Your son.

[A]

You do? Often.

[B]

I like to talk to him. And he's cross eyed and he did the Y. That's 90% of our FaceTime call. But I was with a lovely lady whenever I was FaceTime and she wanted to talk to him.

[A]

She did.

[B]

And she was. She was pretty.

[A]

She is.

[B]

Yeah. And so gorgeous woman. And then Malachi Your son. I noticed locked eyes.

[A]

It was a lot different attention, wasn't it? Yeah. He's like, oh, there's this hairy guy again. And then it was like, insert gorgeous girl. He was like, like, enamored by. Yeah.

[B]

And I was. I was thinking, like, if he grows up with her around, he's gonna end up like, having a crush on her. Which is crazy because that'd be like borderline. His aunt. Like, you'll probably be okay. Like, cuz you know, whenever you're seven, like, you're eight, like, and there was a. You like the cute aunt around you.

[A]

What are you saying to me right now? When you were seven or eight?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. You had the flutters for your aunt?

[B]

Well, I didn't know.

[A]

Shoot.

[B]

No, no, no, no. I was.

[A]

You crushed on blood? You crushed on blood?

[B]

No, no, not like Aunt Carolyn or mole.

[A]

If you crush on mole, you deserve hell. Hell is where you're going. You're going to hell.

[B]

No, but that's very normal.

[A]

No, that isn't.

[B]

Yes, it is.

[A]

No, no. If. If you and this gorgeous woman.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Or in each other's lives and whatever. Maybe it was just something happened. It was friends. He can have a crush.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Now if this is your woman and you're going to be around my son.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

His whole life. Yeah. That's going to be his aunt.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Or aunt. And he is not gonna have a crush on. That is absolutely strange.

[B]

But I'm saying. But if he naturally is just, like, attracted, he'll be like, oh, he's attracted, but he won't know. Like, he'll just be like, oh, she's pretty.

[A]

Like, that's it.

[B]

It's not like, like, that's. You know what I mean?

[A]

Of course he's not gonna bite down and go. Go on her leg like a Doberman.

[B]

Yeah. He'll get flutters.

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh, y'all making fun of me. CJ made out with his cousin. He's. He's so.

[A]

I like how he can always turn back on making a little Margaret.

[B]

It's free game.

[A]

I don't even know if you. You don't even have a female cousin, do you?

[B]

No, but I'm saying it is natural for like.

[A]

It's not. But that is weird.

[B]

No, it's not.

[A]

A young boy. A young boy Creep. A young boy to see a beautiful woman. That's normal. Yes.

[B]

And that's it.

[A]

To be like, oh, she's pretty. No, you said crush. You said finally crush. You were crushing on blood. No, I wasn't on Blood you. Van Helsing.

[B]

I wasn't. But, like, my babysitter at the time.

[A]

Like, see, that's not related to you. That's what I'm saying.

[B]

But I didn't know the difference. I didn't know what family was or not at that point. I was just young. Like four or five. I was like, she's pretty.

[A]

I like. You didn't know what family was. You just thought you were clocking into a house every day. Oh, I guess this is where I set up shop. Can't.

[B]

Literally, like, 10 episodes ago, I found out who, like, what cousins were. Like, I didn't. I don't know. It's just confusing. Dog. Like the bloodline. Roman Reigns. I'm trying to figure out who everybody is.

[A]

I'm gonna make this simple for you. If you and the woman.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Are married, you got years under your belt. She has been around him.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Majority of his youth. He's not gonna have a crush on her.

[B]

No, I'm not saying crush. I'm just saying, like, oh. He'd be like. Oh. It's like little flutters like we all had when we were kids.

[A]

See you. Now I need to. What did Aunt Carolyn look like 20 years ago? Because at this point, you're. I'm not. Because I. I just can't agree with you. We're gonna have to agree to disagree.

[B]

Not my family. Like babysitters.

[A]

And those aren't ants.

[B]

Yes, they are.

[A]

Arguing a non argument.

[B]

No.

[A]

So babysit is not your aunt. Your babysit is not your. Y'all, we're not that close. It could have her name.

[B]

I don't remember anymore. She's not dated Vince Young. What? I remember that. What? I was a stat.

[A]

That's a hell. That's her biggest flex.

[B]

Yeah, but. Okay, but you know like, how I'm Malachi's uncle. Yes, but I'm really not exactly. That's what I'm saying. Uncles like that.

[A]

But you're called uncle. From his birth.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

This was the girl that tucked you in when your parents wanted wine. That's all she was. She's not your aunt, so you can have a crush on her. That's liable. I'm saying he will not have a crush on his aunt. If he does. I'll go stop this weird cut.

[B]

I'm not saying. I'm not saying, like, crush. I'm just saying, like, the little flood. Like butterflies. You made it to something bigger.

[A]

No, I did not.

[B]

Yes, I think.

[A]

Okay. Do kids. Okay, let's deep dive.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What level does attraction set in? Let's just deep dive into that. Okay? When does attraction set in for me?

[B]

When I was a kid.

[A]

As a kid. When does the world start to see more colorful, if you know what I'm saying?

[B]

My first memory when I was like was like 3 or 4 years old. Like so 2002. 2003 is when I had my first like memory. Right?

[A]

Slow down, you little fast ass.

[B]

Oh, not as fast as hell.

[A]

You're liking things at three.

[B]

What?

[A]

At three what?

[B]

Teen Titans? Raven.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

She did something for me. She did look impossible.

[A]

Look, dude, let me stop. Kim Possible. I thought you liked Rufus. I did like Rufus. He looks so soft. I love Rufus. I just wanted to pet him all day. Yeah, but Kim possible, 100%. But I was not three. There's no way at three years old.

[B]

I'm saying no, that's when I first.

[A]

In memory was three years old is Daxon.

[B]

Yes, that's very normal. You think Dax. Daxon's definitely like, oh, you pretty.

[A]

Like what is it? What does he keep into himself? He's never sat around me. He goes to his room, takes a beef jerky stick. He's like. He's like, damn, she look good.

[B]

No, no, but I was like, what age are you in? Like kindergarten? Five?

[A]

Because that's what I was going to say.

[B]

Cuz that's what I was having makeout session sessions.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

I was making out with two girls at the same time. I swear to God. Fifth grade, dude.

[A]

I was drawing dragons with colored pencils and you were tongue punching another five year old. What is going on?

[B]

No, I don't know what is happening? I think so. I can't answer this because I was fast.

[A]

I don't remember. I did. I don't even think. I don't even think I looked at girls when I was five. Genuinely.

[B]

You're a sophomore college. You're like, wow, really?

[A]

This is what I've been missing out, man. No man.

[B]

Now live and lost your mind.

[A]

My explosion of now. That's weird.

[B]

I'm gonna let it go.

[A]

My embodiment of crushing on girls when it be at its peak. Okay, say your peak. When you were like obsessed with girls, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

On the count of three.

[B]

When I was like my. My most obsessed.

[A]

Most. Not. Not even like obsessed. Like you're like. But it's just like you were definitely, definitely looking at girls, trying to talk to girls. You're really trying to do all the like. You know, I'm saying, okay, tell me that age on the Count of three.

[B]

Okay, yeah.

[A]

One, two, three.

[B]

Seventeen.

[A]

Seventeen.

[B]

Like my most.

[A]

What?

[B]

Like when I was like, wow.

[A]

Talking about accolades, LeBron. I'm saying, when did it start? Like, when did you really like, like, you. You're like, oh, I like girls. That girl's cute. This girl's cute. It was way before 17.

[B]

Nah, not really.

[A]

Dude, dude, you were making out in kindergarten.

[B]

Yeah, but then I hit a wall and I was like Justin Bieber. I was like, supers. Yeah. So I like, I had a weird, like, wave of like.

[A]

You were like, holy shit, this is easy. Oh, my God, what happened? Give me it.

[B]

Yeah, so I had a weird, like, ebb and flow.

[A]

So not seventh grade. And you got real pimply and started to smell like onions.

[B]

No, no. Girls wanted to even look at me.

[A]

Oh, they didn't want to look at me either. I was creeping from a distance. But I'm saying that's when I enjoyed it.

[B]

No, my.

[A]

When I realized I was like, oh, this is sick. This is fun. Like the excitement, the raise in heart rate from texting this girl. I gotta go ask her for a number.

[B]

Like those things when I. No, I'm not gonna lie. Like sixth grade. I got kick messenger.

[A]

Oh, man. Dirty times. Nasty, nasty raunch.

[B]

God damn.

[A]

I found my cake.

[B]

Dude, I'm so. I found my old phone one time and I was reading old text.

[A]

I need to be in the Smithsonian.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I see.

[A]

I've never had a mouthpiece like you though.

[B]

Yeah, but it was like, it looked like a 12 year old girl was typing it. Like it wasn't like, smooth. I was like, that's a little lady right there. And it was me one time.

[A]

Okay, this is. I'm gonna be so vulnerable. So vulnerable. I'm not gonna say her name, but I love her to death. We haven't. We actually haven't talked in like seven years. But anyway, I was texting the girl that I liked, which, you know, I've told the story, everyone knows. Not gonna say her name. Her best friend, right? Yeah, this is. This is how green I was. This was like eighth grade. We're all texting and stuff. Just regular stuff at night. It's getting close to night. She hits me at the. Good night. Love you with the heart.

[B]

Right?

[A]

It meant so much to me. It meant the world to me. It meant everything to me that I was genuinely confused. And I went back and told my crush that her friend likes me. I said, hey, you really need to watch her. She told me she loves me last night and I felt it. I felt it through that. And the friend came up, said, dude, it's like a love. Ya, like love you hope you wake up. And I was like, oh you. You hope more. Oh my God almighty in heaven.

[B]

You're a loser, dog.

[A]

It was bad.

[B]

You're a loser.

[A]

I stayed awake for another hour and a half.

[B]

Yo, that gave you the rush of a lifetime.

[A]

Oh, I was just staring at the phone. I said, was that meant to be sent to me?

[B]

You had a dream about her.

[A]

I confused. Great dream.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. Not that I mean like you're dreaming about her.

[A]

Oh, well, yeah, good dream.

[B]

The you should know podcast this episode is brought to you by Shopify.

[A]

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[B]

Now on to the rest of the episode. We were talking about my birthday in McDonald's earlier, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so. And then I saw you and your. Your shape. So I was thinking about fast food on so on my Twitch stream, right?

[A]

Uh huh.

[B]

I was doing a fast food ranking.

[A]

You did?

[B]

And it's very controversial. But then I was thinking you're the biggest back of the bigs. I know. The biggest back of the whole back bigs.

[A]

I am the CEO of big.

[B]

You're king big back.

[A]

I am.

[B]

And we've never like talked about like our top fast food together. But I feel like I know you well enough. You got to get rid of one of these three fast food restaurants, right?

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

McDonald's, chick fil a or Panda Express. You one of them. You can Never have again.

[A]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. The Lord's chicken has to stay. Oh, Chick fil a head. That's controversial, but it has to stay.

[B]

Okay, so chickfila's a lot.

[A]

Never misses it's lock. Guaranteed. Never had a bad meal. Chick fil a service is incredible. Now it's either. Oh, man. My orange chicken, cream cheese rangoons, large Diet coke. Oh, God. He's all with a plate. Fried rice. Give me two fortune cookies. Oh, man. Well, you always get two as a backup. If one fortune's just like a stupid sentence, you need a backup.

[B]

Yeah, but that's like your eyes are great.

[A]

I'm like, shut up.

[B]

That's not a real fortune of you. Open a second one. So it's between McDonald's and Pan Express. Which one's got to go?

[A]

But McDonald's is the. The staple of America. Yeah, it's a global Mastermind. They have five dollar meals. Oh, McDonald's gotta go.

[B]

Are you nuts?

[A]

McDonald's has to go. I'm keeping Panda.

[B]

Cam.

[A]

McDonald's is the mega Chinese cuisine from the panda itself. The forbidden forest, the amazing cuisine which is. Panda will not be leaving.

[B]

McDonald's is the staple of fast food.

[A]

They are number one.

[B]

You can't. And you're getting rid of number one. Get them out of here for some microwave chicken.

[A]

Okay. Don't you dare. I watch them drop it in the oil. They do not microwave that shit. Frozen bag and they throw it in that oil.

[B]

That's a very your demographic type of thing. Y'all love some panda.

[A]

No, I'm not a. That's panda is. You love panda.

[B]

No, I don't. I could easily out of that. Panda can go quick as hell. Panda is nasty. Most of the time.

[A]

You're out of your mind. You don't believe that.

[B]

I swear to God, McDonald's is the best fast food ever. You can go anywhere in the country, anywhere in the world. And McDonald's is gonna hit regardless.

[A]

McDonald's had to put out a public service announcement. Hey, don't eat our onions. You might go to the er. Ever heard that from Panda?

[B]

Yes, probably.

[A]

No, you haven't.

[B]

Every, every, every place has had a recall.

[A]

Recalls on food.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Here. What you just did. Yeah, that should be. That should not be your Kia K5.

[B]

Use a recall every two months. Guess what? You still drive it. Shut the fuck up.

[A]

5 only has had one recall. It was a very quick fix. I think was something like a side flap and that was it. So my car is fantastic. Your Tesla died on the side of the highway and we were stranded till 2am and McDonald's has recalls on food.

[B]

I'm not gonna lie.

[A]

You're screwed.

[B]

I'm not gonna lie. I'd be willing to put up Chick Fil a to get out of there too. New Chick Fil a is nasty now. New Chick Fil a is. Does not hit the same after they change that chicken. They put. So they put extra shots in the chicken.

[A]

You are on crack.

[B]

You. You gotta know that that does not taste the same. Chick Fil a now does not taste the same as it did before.

[A]

It is still fantastic. No makes understand that they changed.

[B]

It makes my lips break.

[A]

They started giving us some HGH those chickens like. But regardless. Chick Fil a. Chick Fil a is more of a lock than McDonald's.

[B]

Oh, you're. You're absolutely nuts.

[A]

Chick Fil a cannot leave. Chick Fil a cannot leave.

[B]

The new Chick Fil a can if.

[A]

You'Re in a time crunch. Chick fil a. 100% McDonald's. You're late, Cam.

[B]

The pepperminto sandwich of the Chick Fil a drop. What is that?

[A]

Okay, a pimento sandwich is ass. But what's up, McRib? You're gonna eat a frozen rib?

[B]

Cam, the McRib is fire.

[A]

What are you, the undead?

[B]

Nothing. A frozen rib, nothing shifts the culture like a McRib.

[A]

When it comes back, nothing shifts my dog's insides like a McRib when I feed it to her. That shit's dog food. McDonald's best thing they have to offer. Spicy McChicken never had it. And. Okay, let's talk about another thing. All these celebrities get their own meal. Their celebrity meal.

[B]

I Want one, please.

[A]

McDonald's, their celebrity meal. It's the same shit. No, they're not accommodating anything.

[B]

That is not true. Cam.

[A]

It is literally.

[B]

You're saying the Travis Scott meal and the Angel Reese meal. The same. One of them had hella rebounds.

[A]

No.

[B]

And the Ice Spice meal.

[A]

I'm saying make it wedding. Go. I'm saying it's not the same meal. It's items they already offer. They don't do anything exclusive. Yes, they do. No, they. Dude, they added for the triple quarter pounder. And then they're like, how does Travis like it?

[B]

With bacon.

[A]

Exactly. That's a double quarter pounder with bacon.

[B]

So it's new.

[A]

Any American could go in, hey, let me get the Steve special. What is that? Still bacon on the double quarter pounder. Okay, cool bag on it.

[B]

That's something they normally don't Offer.

[A]

That's not what I'm saying. It's not a new item.

[B]

Yes, it is.

[A]

Panda Express gives you new shit.

[B]

Panda Express had the same food since 1943.

[A]

They have the same staples, but they bring in new exclusives. They brought in a honey sesame. That shit'll make you slap your cousin. Yeah. That shit is so good.

[B]

And the thing about Panda Express, I don't want to spend 15 minutes at the checkout because you want me to donate to every goddamn organization in the world.

[A]

They do. Oh, my God. They are soliciting and laundering money.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They are thieves. They are thieves. In the night I went to a Panda Express, I swear to God. It was the first robotic drive through I ever experienced. Not a single human.

[B]

That's hot.

[A]

And I literally was not believing it. And then I tried to talk faster to see if it'd mess up. It was like, take your order whenever you're ready.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I went human, please said, take your order. And I was like, I know someone's in there. I want to talk to him. And then they're like, we can take your order.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. So I said, let me get a plate fried rice, double orange chicken. And it literally made a typing noise. It was like. And then it popped up on the screen. I went, all right, you little bastard, let's see how good you are. And I go, plate chow mein. Scratch that. White rice, teriyaki chicken. Cut it. Extra orange on the side, more teriyaki sauce.

[B]

Got your ass up.

[A]

Everything was perfectly right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was like, that's hot. McDonald's doesn't have that.

[B]

McDonald's has. There were the first people.

[A]

That's a bait and switch.

[B]

McDonald's was the first people to have the kiosk inside the store where you can order so you don't have to have human interaction even though you're already in the store, which is strange, but you can do it.

[A]

Lazy. And McDonald's, that's stupid. A kiosk inside the store, stupid.

[B]

No.

[A]

A kiosk inside the store is stupid.

[B]

No, it's not. Because you know why? You can. You can pick if you want to stand in line and talk to the person that just got out of jail or you just talk to the robot. You can see if the person taking your order is having a bad day or not. I don't want to speak to them. I want to talk to this robot.

[A]

That's when you go to the drive through.

[B]

I want to get out the drive thru's too long.

[A]

That's how you Know that food is. You have three options to get the same thing.

[B]

You can do that anywhere. Mobile. Mobile order.

[A]

Oh, four options. So you got a mobile order, you got a kiosk inside the store, you got the line inside the store, and then you got a drive through.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

All for the same little frozen patty.

[B]

I'm not gonna lie. I gotta see what they say. But McDonald's is definitely the Mecca. Then it goes Chick Fil A and the Panic express can go.

[A]

McDonald's is just. It's notoriety and it's.

[B]

It's for a reason.

[A]

It's revelance. That's. They've been around for revelance. Revelin. Revelance. That's a word. Revelance.

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

Revelance. Revelant. Revelance.

[B]

Are you serious?

[A]

Am I saying it right?

[B]

Are you being dead?

[A]

I'm saying it's revelance.

[B]

Revel.

[A]

Rel. Relevance. Here we go. Oh, my God. I said revelance.

[B]

Relevance.

[A]

I'm dying. Relevant.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Holy shit. Yeah, relevant.

[B]

Well, I just want to see what you thought about that.

[A]

You're absolutely tripping. Do you. Okay, random question. Do your parents talk to electronics?

[B]

What do you mean, my dad?

[A]

My dad tells his Alexa good night, every night before he goes to bed.

[B]

I think Mike needs a friend. I think that's what that means. I think your dad needs a present.

[A]

His only friend that he texts, his name is Oko.

[B]

Who's Oko?

[A]

A guy he works with.

[B]

Oh, it's a human.

[A]

It's a human being. His name's Oko. I like, dad, you need. Come on, do something. He talks to his Alexa like, not like, hey, Alexa, what's the weather like?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He goes, alexa, have a good night. She goes, thank you. He goes, you're welcome. It's off the kitchen light, and goes to bed. And then he wakes up and goes, alexa, good morning. She goes, it is a good morning. Da, da, da, da, da, da. Like, he's. Like. He's investing in their relationship.

[B]

It's like that one movie where the dude married the little AI.

[A]

They made the Mega Fox robot.

[B]

No, not that. I understand that.

[A]

That. I get that, too, sir.

[B]

Thank you all for sending me the links.

[A]

I get that, too, sir. I. I'd cash out.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I'd buy two.

[B]

I'd sell my house.

[A]

I'd buy two. I'd send live to Oklahoma. Malachi, you gotta go through.

[B]

No, the only time my dad or my parents talk to electronics, when they're cussing them out.

[A]

See, now that's Understandable, dude. My dad, like, oh my God, I love him to death. He was on Snapchat.

[B]

Snapchat.

[A]

On Snapchat, bro. Yeah, he has Snapchat, but that was on Snapchat. Okay, we're talking about, we're talking about a frame. How I just did the, the stuff in my office. The pictures. Yes, we're talking about a frame. And he literally on Snapchat, like, doesn't hold his button, doesn't hit Siri. Snapchat one more time is open. He goes, look up dimensions of the new frame for a 38 by 20 being hung. And I go, what are you doing? And he goes, I'm asking Siri. I said, you're on Snapchat and you didn't touch a single button. He goes, that's all you gotta do. What are the dimensions of the new frame? Then I'm like, dad, you're not doing shit. Oh my God, it's. It's so do.

[B]

Isn't it crazy? We're gonna get there. One point with electronics.

[A]

No, we're not. I. Now that is a firm theory that I have. I don't think, I really don't. Because you have to think. Those people, our parents, they were born non electronics.

[B]

I get it.

[A]

And then electronics became a thing.

[B]

I get it.

[A]

Ever since we've been born, there's been technology.

[B]

But I can already kind of tell with you because as you get older, your priorities change. Your priorities have changed since you had your son.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

There's things in this world that I try to tell you about. And you're like, damn, what that happened? Like, what's going on?

[A]

I go, you mean to tell me that some flipped.

[B]

Dude? I'm saying, like, you are getting to the point where you're.

[A]

That's just pop culture.

[B]

I know, but that's where it starts. That's where it starts.

[A]

No, it's not.

[B]

And then you. One day I'm gonna get a new car and you're gonna be like, God damn, what's that button do? And I'll be like, why am I.

[A]

Like hick country and all? My damn boy.

[B]

And then my new.

[A]

Oh, it comes out. I didn't even mean that. February is a short month. Short lived month.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I go, come on, March.

[B]

Just like, I'm tired of these commercials.

[A]

I go, bro, I'm already out of college. How many?

[B]

Yes or no?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I just know one day these clip accounts on Tick Tock are just gonna put a little collage.

[A]

They can have fun with it. They can have fun.

[B]

I Don't think it's gonna be fun.

[A]

It my or my beggar.

[B]

You're gonna get a Kendrick Lamar bar.

[A]

No, that's. We're good. I love everyone. All of y'all.

[B]

The you should know podcast. This episode of the you should know podcast is brought to you by booking.com booking.

[A]

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[B]

You know that I'm going to New York soon, and I'm so excited because I found the perfect hotel for my trip to Brooklyn. On booking.com it's walking distance for all my favorite places, so I can see a musical a day if I wanted to.

[A]

Whoo.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com booking. Yeah.

[B]

Now on to the rest of the episode you should know podcast.

[A]

Honestly, I. I hate you. I really do.

[B]

For what reason?

[A]

I'm gonna expose you for something that is absolutely unexplainable, it should never happen, and it's completely just insane.

[B]

What part?

[A]

When I FaceTimed you on Wednesday this past week, do you remember? You remember that call?

[B]

No. You always annoy me with your calls.

[A]

Okay, so it simply started with, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, boom. Hello? You're not. You're not a shirt. You're not in a shirt.

[B]

I'm not a shirt.

[A]

You're not in a shirt. Why is your chest out? And you go, oh, more than my chest is out. You put your phone up and your entire body was naked.

[B]

Yeah, I was about to get in the shower.

[A]

See, but the problem with that statement is you were in your kitchen, you were by your fridge.

[B]

I have a weird shower routine.

[A]

You don't have a shower on your second floor.

[B]

I have weird shower routines, so let's.

[A]

Explain that to the world. Why were you naked near your pots and pans and not inside of the shower?

[B]

And CJ brings this up a lot. Whenever I'm about to get in the shower, he knows I'm about to shower. I. That's weird in itself because I can't. Like, I don't understand People that can turn on the shower and just get into it. I'm my most efficient. Whenever I'm about to get in the shower.

[A]

What? Okay, first off, people turning on shower, getting into it. 95% of people, you turn on the shower, you wait 10 seconds, that get a little lukewarm, you get in there, gets hot, and now you're at bliss.

[B]

I'm not gonna lie. It's starting to get to the point whenever I turn my shower water on, I'm. I let it run so long, a smell starts to happen. Like, my shower starts to smell different for how long that water is running, and it's dead ass. So, like, I'll. I'll get ready. It's showering.

[A]

It's dead ass. The shower's telling the truth. It's like, bro, stink fest. He's like, he's got us running. Boys get the heat.

[B]

No, deadass. So whenever I'm about to shower, and this is completely honest, like, and this is very vulnerable, and none of my friends know it, none of my family does. And I've been like this for a long time.

[A]

Starting to scare me and have it.

[B]

Once I started living alone because I didn't have to hide and live in fear anymore.

[A]

That is. That is a liberating.

[B]

Yeah, It's a luxury not a lot of people get. So when I'm about to shower, right? I get naked before the water runs. Like, I'm like, okay.

[A]

That in itself is crazy. You love your naked body way too much, dude.

[B]

I love looking at myself.

[A]

A little too freaky.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What are you doing a routine? You're like, oh, it's about to be that time.

[B]

It's more of a see you. I treat myself like a Jenny Craig commercial. I like the before and after. I want to see if that hair is gonna lay the same once I'm out. You know what I mean? So I'm peeking at crevices dry, right? But I don't like being naked with my socks off. I have to keep some kind of traction on my feet. You know what I mean? It might be a sensory thing. And so I'll get to my underwear, right? I'll turn on the shower, full heat. That's normal, right? Then I'll get on my phone, I'm tick tocks for a little bit. I'm tiktoks. And then I'll formulate a good playlist. I don't like to have, like, an existing playlist going. I like to have about 14 to 15 songs in a good. I'm so serious right now.

[A]

Showers should never be 14 song links ever. You are playing in that shower. You are absolutely enjoying your body. There's no way someone should ever. That is an album that is over an hour. Your artist, your favorite artist could drop an album. And that's one shower.

[B]

Sometimes I like to just listen to the first verse of this one, but it will match in the beginning of the next song. It doesn't matter. That's none of your business. Right? The shower's running. I'm in my drawers and socks, right? I'm bent over my counter. Like, I'm like this, like, just going through TikToks and formulating a playlist. Then I realized I have no clean towels. And so all CJ knows. So I'll go downstairs in my drawers and my socks, and I'll go into the dryer. I'll get in, I'll get a towel. I'll take that up and I'll throw it over my counter.

[A]

What?

[B]

Like, over the shower counter? Over the shower thing. And then I'm like, now this is the first time of my day where I'm feeling efficient. And so I'll get things done around the house.

[A]

Oh, first thing, get the shower, then get things done.

[B]

No, because when I'm clean, I don't want to sweat again. Hustling and bustling and cleaning things, right? I'll wipe down my counters. I'll set up all my lotions and my colognes. Then I'll go into my closet. Shoes all over the place. Clothes all over the place. I'll start doing a little laundry. I'll separate the hampers. I'll put up shoes. I'll file my closet. Like, I'll start color coding it. I'm dead ass.

[A]

And you're doing all this with your plantain just swinging freely?

[B]

No, I got some draws on you're. And that's when I bolt the door so C.J. doesn't come in. I'll close my door and put a shoe right there. Yeah. And then I get in the shower. That's the most efficient time of my day.

[A]

See? But the problem is now I believe you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I can tell when you're being vulnerable. I can tell when you're being vulnerable. But you answered the phone butt naked the other day.

[B]

Well, you called me during the playlist time.

[A]

Oh. But you skipped the step because you were by a fridge with no clothing on and you have a roommate. So that there's. There's multiple things that are extremely wrong with that. Oh, one, you should never Be butt naked on your second floor. That is your living room. No one should be butt naked in their living room.

[B]

Well, C.J. comes upstairs, he gets blessed.

[A]

Oh, no, no.

[B]

He doesn't see a little Loch Ness monster.

[A]

He doesn't need a blessing. He needs protection. And I'm about to call child protective Services. Second.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why the kitchen? What were you doing?

[B]

I don't remember at that specific time, but I was doing something efficient. Like maybe I left it, like, left some things on the counter I wanted to clean up. Maybe I needed to Lysol the counter. Something needed to happen in the Lysoling.

[A]

Butt naked, dude, you. You're gonna have infections or you're gonna be so clean, your penis is gonna be so clean, all the bacteria is dead. And you get some sort of kick out of it. You sitting there.

[B]

I wipe my ass with a Clorox before. See, you ran out of. It's either that or it's a paper. Towels, clogs. Anything can go up there. Anything that wipes, it's mine. If I'm out of toilet paper.

[A]

First off, I've told that. You have, but. Because that is unacceptable. Well, and second, why don't you do. Okay, I get the. You don't want to hustle and bustle, right? But just do all that clothed.

[B]

You're right.

[A]

It's like clothes is like your mind cap. You take your clothes off. Now you're like, oh, I can see again. If they're that fuming to where you are blinded by clothing, you need serious help.

[B]

You're making fun of me. You are a monster, too. We went to. We went to your house. I went to visit your son. We went to your house, right?

[A]

Took a shower. Naked. I got in, got out quick.

[B]

No, it's not even about showering. It is about their snack choice in their house. First of all, great snacks and the way you eat your snacks. First of all, they had Nature Valley bars. You would have thought they were made in 1980. They were stale as shit.

[A]

That was an old box.

[B]

I should have to jerky pool. A Nature Valley bar. That is shit. And first of all, they were in your bedroom. You had a stack in your bedroom.

[A]

It was for my wife's lactation bucket.

[B]

What?

[A]

Apparently the granola and the oatmeal that naturally occur in the Nature Valley bar helps her breast milk.

[B]

Y'all gotta get off. Tick tock, brother. Yeah, it's definitely a tick tock.

[A]

It was those. It was these little like multigrain apple pie bites.

[B]

Yeah, and he was trying to burp his son. And he was putting them in, like, in, like, the walls of Jericho. I'm like, malachi is not supposed to be bending like that, dog. And you're like, no, this nurse on TikTok really showed me. And I was like, bro, sody was.

[A]

And he's like. I'm like, you got it, buddy.

[B]

Like, I don't even know if it was a nurse. The lady had 32 followers and lived on, like, a barn. And I was like, kim, I don't know if you should trust her.

[A]

She's nursing calves, baby cows. I'm like, I'm like, it works with Malachi, but then walls of Jericho, bro. Oh, my God.

[B]

But then I was like, I was hungry because I go to his house to nap, shit, and leave.

[A]

Yeah. And that's bullshit in itself. You literally took a nap upstairs. You ate four different snacks, and you didn't finish a single one of them. You took a prime, you took three sips, and you were done with that. It is just. It is so disrespectful.

[B]

But then I was like. I was like, cam, I need some snacks. You're like, there's some good ones in the fridge. I should have known. Cam and Liv are bullshit on their snacks. I go into. I was like, fridge for snacks. I go in there. They had like a hundred pack of cheese sticks.

[A]

It's a beautiful snack.

[B]

Cam, cheese sticks are fine for, like, eight year olds, right? And field trips. That's the only time.

[A]

No, cheese stick is an incredible snack.

[B]

And then I was like, okay, I'm gonna have one of those. And I'm lactose, so I don't know why, but I was hungry. I grab a cheese stick. He goes, oh, can you throw me one too? I throw Cam a cheese stick. I swear to God, he just peels it and bites it. He peels open the cheese stick and just bites the cheese stick.

[A]

That's literally the best way and most efficient way to eat it.

[B]

That's no etiquette.

[A]

Don't you give me this. You gotta string it in cheese.

[B]

It's literally called string cheese. You literally string the thing. That's the whole beauty of it.

[A]

There's no beauty in it. It's string cheese. It's cheese. Whether you want to eat it slow, like a little.

[B]

You.

[A]

You're in the field trip bag. Whether you want to go like that and enjoy and go look at the playground.

[B]

It literally has preparations in it for the pool.

[A]

Does not have preparations. String cheese preparations do not have preparations.

[B]

Yes, it does.

[A]

Holy Shit. There's no dotted line on the top of string cheese to go.

[B]

Oh, there's little, like, micro folds in it.

[A]

Micro fold.

[B]

That's a preferation.

[A]

Goggles and a lab coat in your closet. Micro fold.

[B]

No, but I grew up, not in a shack. I grew up with etiquette. That's how you're supposed to eat those things.

[A]

Etiquette is saying, hey, you, I'mma sleep on your couch, dog. That's etiquette. A string, it's literally that big. It takes. It takes.

[B]

That's a lot. Depending on who you ask.

[A]

20 seconds. Stop it. To eat it, just bite it. Taste does not change, does not become more cool, is not more fun. And it's only slower. The way you eat.

[B]

What is the way you're supposed to eat it? Pull it or bite it? I go.

[A]

I go. Bite. Yes. See, you idiot.

[B]

Have you seen CJ's calves?

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Barbarian.

[A]

He's got calves of a king. You just bite it.

[B]

She.

[A]

Literally just bite it. You do not have to string it. I don't care if it's called string cheese. That's like saying if something's called circular pepperoni, what are you supposed to nod in a disc? Okay.

[B]

Off of that. That's like. Like ordering a pizza and just biting it like this. There's supposed to cut, there's preparations. You're supposed to pull pieces.

[A]

Your whole argument that there's not preparations.

[B]

In string cheese, then how can you pull it? Because how do you get an even pull every time?

[A]

That's the way you don't get an even pull.

[B]

Oh, you have gnarled fingers.

[A]

You don't get an even pool. You literally pull it. Sometimes it's small, sometimes it's big. And I said, hey, I'm not a child anymore. My nuts have fallen in my jeans. I'm just gonna eat this. It's 70 calories, 6 grams of protein. It's a fantastic snack. Give me three of them and that's it.

[B]

Okay, but you don't even get to enjoy the snack. It's gone in two bites.

[A]

I don't eat food for enjoyment. I eat it for fuel.

[B]

Look at your body.

[A]

That's a bit of a lie. I love food, but you just bite it. There's that. So. That is so overplayed. So young of you. Just. Just not. It's not, honest to say. Oh, I pull it every time. It's so fun. It makes me think of this. And I have great memories.

[B]

How do you eat the dreamsicles? You know, the orange? Is that what it's called the orange with the vanilla inside.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you bite around the orange and then eat the vanilla?

[A]

No, I suck it clean and then when it's small enough down to the stick, I bite it off and chew it.

[B]

Really?

[A]

I like a sensation in my molars.

[B]

Is it weird that I like, I bite around the orange?

[A]

You're biting a frozen popsicle without sucking it first?

[B]

Well, no, I suck it to warm it up, loosen it up a little bit. But then I'm biting around the orange and I'm sucking the vanilla.

[A]

That's very strange. And I think you're thinking about me when you do it. If you're biting off the orange and sucking the vanilla, you're definitely thinking no.

[B]

And, and, and, and the dip cone. Like a dip cone with the chocolate dip cone.

[A]

I take my two front teeth, go straight. Yes, same thing. Hemisphere.

[B]

God.

[A]

Now it's a brand new world. God, a whole new. And then you just eat it.

[B]

And then there's a little caramel surprise in the cone surprise.

[A]

Makes you want to slap somebody. Oh my God. I will kiss my dog.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just to enjoy that caramel surprise.

[B]

Okay, that's what I'm saying. No, it's the same thing.

[A]

No, it's not. But there's. But that's not the right way.

[B]

It's just.

[A]

Cuz you do it. Does it mean it's right? Well, the quicker you understand that, the quicker the world will be brighter to you.

[B]

I'm just saying it's the same thing. How you like to enjoy the dip cone. You bite around the chocolate. Enjoy the new world. The same thing with the string cheese. You pull it and you enjoy the experience. And it's an experience. Life is a maze in a movie.

[A]

Or a movie. Steven Spielberg. It's cheese. It's literally cheese. You eat it. I used to buy blocked cheese.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'd get a paring knife and I'd get little rectangles and I just slide it right down my throat. Wouldn't even chew it.

[B]

For what?

[A]

Slide it straight down. Like a treadmill.

[B]

For what? For food.

[A]

For enjoyment.

[B]

Any food. Yeah, you would cut up the. Say it again.

[A]

I'd go get at the grocery stores, they sell blocked cheese. It's like a little brick of cheese. Like a, like an eight ball of cheese. You buy that, you get a paring knife. You just get little rectangles. Put that bitch right on your tongue. Look up. You don't think about it and you.

[B]

Go look up and don't think about it.

[A]

Look up and don't think about it. You go.

[B]

That's how C.J. got the job.

[A]

Dude. Three weeks in a row.

[B]

Really?

[A]

He said.

[B]

We'Re banned from Komodo now.

[A]

They said, hey, we got a big light skin and a over there.

[B]

I got a text that, yeah, you can't come back.

[A]

I now I saw something.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And you. I never thought you were this type of person. And it honestly, it disappointed me. It was very disappointing. I saw something the other day.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I went to your house.

[B]

All right.

[A]

We did the koala royalty stream live stream.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And before we started, you did something that was very alarming to me. You changed your socks. So not only is that in itself not a part of your day to day.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That is not a 9 to 5 move for you.

[B]

New year, new me.

[A]

But what you did, though, is you changed into white socks.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But prior you had on black tube socks. Now that doesn't sit right with me.

[B]

There's nothing wrong with a black sock.

[A]

There is so many things wrong with a black tube sock. What if you're not wearing steel toed boots or you're sitting in a pew praising God, you should never have long black socks on it.

[B]

Sometimes it goes with the outfit. It. That's a personal thing.

[A]

You. So you just said you'd be willing to wear black socks with an outfit with your legs exposed, you'd wear black socks and shorts.

[B]

I've done it and I will do it again.

[A]

You.

[B]

There's nothing wrong with a black tube sock.

[A]

A black tube sock tells a lot about a person. If. If you're wearing black tube socks, you are different. You were always the kid that sat in the back corner of the class. You were always the kid that cheated. That is you.

[B]

That is me.

[A]

Exactly. Yeah, you. I never knew that as you, I felt betrayed. I felt like I got a different friend that night, Cam. That's why I was quiet.

[B]

You can't talk. You used to wear white shoes with black socks. You walked around like Michael Jackson.

[A]

Now that was not that. And I had a realization.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Isn't right. Yeah. And I quickly changed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You look 26 and you haven't changed. And that's a problem.

[B]

You're like, he's acting like that turtle. Have y'all seen that turtle on Tick Tock? Whenever the dude has the black tape on his shoe, it's like, that's like that's you right now.

[A]

Okay? Black socks, nothing to do with a black man, but black socks. That's what I'm saying, cuz you're mate. You're taking it to the turtle race. And I'm not. I'm not a racist turtle. I am not a racist turtle. I might be a turtle. I might have. I might have some gooey pinks, but I'm not racist. But a black tube sock is. Is. It's not right. It's just not right.

[B]

I think.

[A]

If you go to Nike store, how many black tube socks are available to be purchased? Purchased a lot. Maybe seven packs. And then there's a wall. There's a wall of white Nike.

[B]

I never knew that was a problem.

[A]

It is. Look it up. There's. There's some damning stories.

[B]

You make me not confident in myself. You tend to do that a lot.

[A]

I try to just humble you a little bit.

[B]

And you know what I was thinking about?

[A]

What?

[B]

I'm nervous when I get a girlfriend and I have to introduce her to y'all.

[A]

My God, let's pray for her now. Because that is a very.

[B]

I genuinely. It's been so long. I don't know how to do it. How?

[A]

I was just about to ask you, how would you even do it?

[B]

I don't know the picture.

[A]

Let's role play this.

[B]

So say I was, like, introduced. I came to your house.

[A]

Oh, my God. Let's do it. Okay.

[B]

I feel like I would act out. Like, I wouldn't, like, be myself.

[A]

Yeah. And I'd literally. Hey, I gotta show them this new thing. You need to pull it together. That girl is freaked out right now, and you're starting to stink.

[B]

I feel like, first of all, I dress different.

[A]

Oh, what? In what way?

[B]

Like, I would wear like a. Like a polo.

[A]

You own a polo?

[B]

No, but I'd get one.

[A]

You get a polo.

[B]

I'd go like TJ Maxx.

[A]

Introduce another 20 something year old girl to us. I'm gonna be wearing small shorts and a tank top.

[B]

Okay, let's. Let's see.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You.

[A]

You come to my door. Yes, my front door. You and the lovely lady, me, Liv, and my son. Answer the door.

[B]

First of all, I kiss your cheeks.

[A]

No, you don't. You bastard. I've been wanting to do that for years. No, no. I would literally say, oh, that's not right. You are cheating on me.

[B]

Don't.

[A]

Get off.

[B]

Like, I'm guiding her the small of her back. You answer the door, right?

[A]

This a museum or is this my house? You're like, come on, baby. Oh, how's it going?

[B]

Like, I knock on the door, right?

[A]

I'd be hot. That'd be hot.

[B]

I'm holding the Small of her back.

[A]

Why not? You're hostage. You're a girl. You're like, just. You're like, just keep it. Keep the pg. Don't say anything. And we'll be in and out.

[B]

I'm wearing a polo top button. Button, right.

[A]

Oh, my God. You get a Jerry curl.

[B]

You're sitting there, and so. And then I'd have a bottle of wine for you.

[A]

You're kidding me.

[B]

Yes. And y'all would open the door, and y'all be like, oh, what's up? Yeah. I'd be like, hey, Kim.

[A]

If you kissed me holding a bottle of wine, I would immediately bring you inside and have a good night and let her just leave. I'd be like, hey, he's mine now.

[B]

And I genuinely don't know what step two would be. The first thing I would think is give her a tour of your house.

[A]

No, give her a tour of my house. First off, I'm giving the tours. And why the hell. That's. Oh, nice to meet you. So right here's my office. Right as you keep going down. Guest bathroom. You can use it as long as you keep the lights off. You can go. No, you don't.

[B]

What would be the appropriate second step?

[A]

You go into the freaking kitchen in the living room and you talk a little.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Then I know her name. She doesn't get to see my closet. I don't even know her name. I don't know. She does.

[B]

Like. Okay, let's play. All right.

[A]

Okay. Knock, knock, knock.

[B]

Do you say hi first?

[A]

Yeah. I didn't know you. I knocked for you.

[B]

It's my house.

[A]

Why am I knocking? I got.

[B]

I got her like this, right? I'm holding the wine.

[A]

Okay, dude.

[B]

So I have to release one, and I knock, right?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Knock, knock, knock. Back on.

[A]

I'm back, baby. Okay. Hey, don't. Why are you kissing me? Don't kiss me. Then you go, oh, she goes. And I go. I'm so sorry. He's never done that before. He's acting out for you. But hi, nice to meet you.

[B]

Well, no, let me do that. Let me talk to you about her.

[A]

Okay. Start over.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Don't kiss me.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Do not kiss me.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. Knock on my door.

[B]

Knock, knock, knock.

[A]

Okay, I'm back, baby. Hey. You go green like.

[B]

No.

[A]

Who are you? Just say okay. Hey, what's up, y'all?

[B]

Okay, here we go. Sorry burrow this time.

[A]

Here we go.

[B]

Knock, knock. Knock, knock. I'm back, baby.

[A]

No kisses, no haze, no blowing kisses. Hey.

[B]

Hey, Cam, this is her hey, her.

[A]

What's her name? Pete.

[B]

This is Lisa.

[A]

Lisa. Hey, Lisa. It's so nice to meet you.

[B]

You have the same name as his mom.

[A]

That.

[B]

It.

[A]

That. That's a weird thing to say, but that is my mom's name. It's a beautiful name. She's a beautiful woman. So are you. Nice to meet you.

[B]

That's his wife. That's Liv.

[A]

That's. I can do that.

[B]

She's black.

[A]

This is my black wife. Live. You are already sweating. And this is a hypothetical. You need to calm down. You have not even took a step into my house yet, and you're tearing up. Relax. Ditch the bottle of wine. I don't want that hand to be a bottle of wine. Ditch the bottle of wine. That hand's in your pocket. That's on the solver bag. And you knock with your forehead, like, all right, let's do it.

[B]

I'm like, all right.

[A]

Okay, here we go.

[B]

All right. Here we go, B. I'm fine. I'm fine. This is Lisa.

[A]

Can we make it inside? You know, this is Lisa. Okay, here we go. Hey, what's up, guys?

[B]

What's up, Kim?

[A]

Hey, what's up, bro? Hey, nice to meet you.

[B]

This is Lisa.

[A]

Hey, Lisa. Thank you for coming. This. This is my. This is my little son. This is my wife, Liv. Oh, hey, Lisa. Okay. Y'all want to come inside?

[B]

We'd love to.

[A]

Okay. Come in. Come in. What's up, guys?

[B]

They just had that.

[A]

We did just have this thing. His name's Malachi.

[B]

Don't. Don't worry about his eyes. They'll straighten up suit.

[A]

He's 1/4 black. But, Lisa, here, you can take your shoes off if you'd like to. Your shoes look dirty as shit. I don't want that in my house. Take your raggedy ass sneaks off and we'll go into my living room real quick. Take those dusty ass sneakers off. Lisa.

[B]

Lisa.

[A]

Yeah, I'm just kidding. You can keep them on. Let's go in here.

[B]

Lisa.

[A]

Hey, Pete, you can stop touching her, bro. You can stop touching. She can walk. We got a decent walk space. Take your hands out of your pockets, creep. Let's just follow along. What do you say? Hey, we can go in here. Here's the living room. Step, step, step, step, boom. We're in the living room. What would you do?

[B]

How'd y'all meet? How? So me and Lisa.

[A]

Stop. Stop. I'm gonna make it better for you, Lisa. Can I get you something to drink? We got bottled water. We got some Coke Zero. She goes, I'll take some water.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Okay, perfect. Boom.

[B]

Well, I would get it for her.

[A]

No, I would.

[B]

Yeah. It's your house.

[A]

My water for your guests. My guests in my house, Right. I crack the water, I set it on the table, and I go, hey, we can go over here. Let me just pause the show real quick.

[B]

Oh, we love that show.

[A]

Oh, really? What's that character's name? Why are you lying in front of Lisa? Why you lying to Lisa? He doesn't watch this. Lisa, take your dirty ass shoes off. My house is clean. Okay, all right. Let me pause that. My big ass TV is so loud with my sound system. Lisa. So sorry. It's a. That's a big tv, huh, Lisa? It's nice, right? Yeah, it's hdr. Here we go.

[B]

Okay, so are we sitting on the couch now?

[A]

Lisa, would you like to be seated? Your freak date is standing up in my corner. Oh, sure.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Beautiful, amazing couch. Oh, thanks, Lisa.

[B]

I feel like I would be nervous because I would, like, sit on the edge of the couch. Like, it's like, you know, when you bring a girl over for the first time? They said at the edge of the bed.

[A]

Here we go. Right?

[B]

Okay, now we're sitting on the couch.

[A]

You ready?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, Lisa, first off, thank you for coming.

[B]

Talking her a lot. Awesome.

[A]

Because she's the woman of the hour.

[B]

Yeah. But I got to be involved in this somehow.

[A]

Oh, my God. All right, Lisa, thank you so much for coming. First off, I love the fit. That's fire. That's so tough.

[B]

So one of the reasons I like.

[A]

Her because her fashion.

[B]

She has great fashion.

[A]

She does have great fashion. Hey, y'all are twins.

[B]

Wins.

[A]

Because you know how to put that on, too. Yes.

[B]

Thank you. Appreciate that. Appreciate that.

[A]

So, like, what, you know, what are y'all doing? What are your plans for us today? Well.

[B]

Well, this our.

[A]

What do you plan on doing when you leave here? Because right now, it looks like you're gonna eat her.

[B]

Well, we're. Well, depending on how this goes, we're gonna stay here for a little bit and hang out with y'all.

[A]

Oh, well, we're actually gonna leave in about half an hour, so what are you gonna do next?

[B]

Well, I'm not good at planning dates, so I would like. This was it.

[A]

Lisa, you should run for the hills. You should get out of dodge.

[B]

Okay. But scratch. I would want. I would. I would want to. I would want to advance this conversation. Like, I would want to feel like I'm like, you lead the cuz. I know Both of y'all. Right.

[A]

You're the mender.

[B]

Lisa. Yes. I met Cam a long time ago.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, Cam. How do we meet?

[A]

Yeah, we met in college. We met in college. Is that pretty cool, Lisa? It was riveting. Hey, how'd you and Lisa meet? I'd like to know that.

[B]

She DM me.

[A]

She DM'd.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. So a little fast thing, huh, Lisa? I go, what are you, a little Jersey chaser? Lisa?

[B]

Yeah, I was telling Lisa sits, since you have the same mom's name.

[A]

Hey, come check this out in my office, bro. Come over here real quick. Lisa's so sorry. I. I just completely forgot I have to send this email. It'll take, like, two minutes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'll be right back, Lisa. Thank you. Hey, come here. Pete and I literally get in the office and I go, you need to pull yourself together. You are absolutely going to ruin this for you. And, Lisa, you need to come here. You better calm down. And you need to breathe. You're starting to stink. I can see the sweat on small your back. And Lisa's shoes need to be clean.

[B]

Do you see how I wouldn't know? Okay, so the next thing I would do, ideally, since your mom has the same name, I would want her to meet your mom.

[A]

What? You'd want her to meet my mom?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cuz, like, I don't know her last name. You haven't given me any information about her. She. I know that she met through a dm. I don't know where she's from. I don't know if she's local. I don't know what she does, and now she's sitting on my couch.

[B]

Okay, but that would be it. That would be a bad move.

[A]

That'd be arguably one of the worst next moves. Hey, it was great. I just really wanted y'all to meet. Can you call your mom, tell her we're on the way? Let's go to. Let's go over there back to little.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Are you out of your mind?

[B]

Okay, okay. Ideally, just bring out, like, the steps of how to introduce. Because I want talk.

[A]

Just breathe and talk. You just. It would be natural. You've got to say something. You got to lead this conversation. You're the leader of that relationship, so lead.

[B]

But, like, who do I talk more to? Her.

[A]

You? It's inclusive. You include everyone.

[B]

So bringing mom involved is not it.

[A]

Not my mother. The people that are in the room we live in.

[B]

Lisa, would it be okay to offer your son to hold.

[A]

No, she's not touching my Kid. He's there, but she has mangled hands, dirty shoes. She's not touching my kid. You would simply say something that includes all of us, like, oh, my God. Speaking of, the craziest thing happened to us on the way over here. Yeah. You get an icebreaker.

[B]

What if nothing happened?

[A]

Then you make it up. And then she looks at you. She goes, this guy's lying. But it. Oh, my God.

[B]

Okay, so now I know we can't do it.

[A]

No, we absolutely can't. You need to be like, I need to talk to Lisa for a cube.

[B]

My Lisa or your Lisa?

[A]

Your Lisa. I talked to my Lisa enough. I need to talk to your Lisa for at least three hours via phone.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Before she ever steps foot.

[B]

Normally I do that normally. I never. I don't like mean people in real life anymore.

[A]

Because you are anxious.

[B]

Yeah. It's a. It is a crippling thing in my life.

[A]

I think you would do good if no one else was there.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

You would do good if you had the strength. See, you. You bring in your brother and sister in Christ.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you get scared. Yeah, get scared. Caddy wampus. Real sweaty.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If Lisa pulled up. If Lisa shot. Her shot via DM in real life.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

She said, hey, hey, boo. What you doing? You just be like, no, if I.

[B]

Had alcohol in me, I can talk.

[A]

And that is a problem.

[B]

That is.

[A]

That is a problem. I just.

[B]

I just don't know how to, like, talk to people for the first time if it's not over the Internet. Because over the Internet, I could chat. GPT that whole shit. You wouldn't even know. Greetings and all.

[A]

She's like. She's like, what's one of your deepest, darkest. You're like, I hold animosity towards those. It's like, who the Am I talking to? Shakespeare, bro. No, you'd be good if there's no cameras, no other people. I have faith in you.

[B]

I think we should do that for Patreon.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Patreon. Let me know in the comments. Should we do, like. Like, a. Because we're gonna. We were Talking about the 20v1 with Pierce, and a lot of people said they want it with Pierce. Do I get involved in this look?

[A]

Appears a 20v1 for you.

[B]

Yeah, we bring in 20 people, and, like, I have to try to talk to them all, get through them all.

[A]

That'd be absolutely fantastic.

[B]

I know, but I was reading the comments on the extended episode where we talked about it, and a lot of people wanted to do it. And you know, I'll do it for the content 100%. So in the comments right now. Let me know if y'all want that to happen.

[A]

Oh, my God. A 20v1. Okay. We do Pierce's first.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Get the lay of the land.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And then the next episode is a 20v1. With pain.

[B]

I think so.

[A]

Oh, my God. Please put in the comments. Say yes. Yes. Yes. That'd be absolutely hilarious.

[B]

Yeah. All right. Get us out of here.

[A]

Thank you so, so, so, so, so, so, so much. And we love every single one of y'all. Thank you for coming back to another episode. As always, everything you need is in the description right below. We got the Patreon booming and it's amazing. We love all you little koalas, whether you're Cubs prime or royalty. We got the twitch, the Facebook, the IG's, the Discord. It is all there. And make sure to get your good karma. Confuse the casuals with this week's secret code.

[B]

What's secret code?

[A]

This week's secret code. Cbs.

[B]

There we go. What does that mean?

[A]

Guess it.

[B]

Curse birthday sucks.

[A]

Yes. Let's go. Curse birthdays suck. And he is no new one to that. He's had cursed birthdays every single year.

[B]

All right, relax. I remember when I took water. Don't make it home at Christmas. And we'll see you next time. Hello.