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The you should Know Podcast hey everybody, welcome back to the you should know podcast episode 148. Round of applause please. Hey everybody, welcome back to the you Know podcast episode 148. If you are new here or if you haven't already and look below you see the subscribe button isn't pressed, you're wrong. If you look even more below that, you see that comment section isn't fulfilled with your name, guess what? Even more wrong. This is 2025. We are on the road to 1 million subscribers. I say this every sing a week that y'all are the best community that a creator and creators can ask for. So we believe that with Yalls power, with yalls love we can do it. Share this podcast with your friends, your family and your foes. Let's get this thing to 1 million subscribers. Remember we have communities everywhere. We got you should know podcast on Instagram. I know Tik Tok is down. I know it's gone. This is a little pre recorded before the actual day so we're thinking that it's down. If you want us to see clips and be reminded of the funny parts of the episode, follow us on you should know podcast on Instagram. If you want bonus content where all the good stuff is the ad free and uncensored episodes go over to the Patreon. The link is in the description. If you want to see us go live on Wednesdays that's on Twitch Twitch.com Peyton Hardin and a new announcement. The Twitch has a YouTube channel. It's called Peyton Harden Twitch on YouTube you can watch all the streams completely all the way through if you missed them on Wednesdays on Twitch. So that will be in the description below I believe. We love you. We love you. We love you. Join that koala club. Join that discord. We love you so much. Now on to the rest of the episode. You should Know podcast. This episode is brought to you by friends at Manscaped. For some the new year is a clean slate. For others, it's a chance to leave leave the last year's scruff and chaos behind. Enter the Performance Package 5.0 Ultra by Manscaped. Your secret weapon to stepping into 2025 sharp, clean and confident. Don't be the guy who rolls into January looking like you just emerged from hibernation. Let The Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra and Weed Whacker 2.0 handle your overgrowth so you can focus on level it up. Start 2025 with precision because the only thing that should be growing this year, not just scriff. Head over to manscape.com and join the over 11 million men worldwide who trust Manscape. Just use code PSH for 20 off plus that free ship.
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B
We got co. Oh my God. Oh my God. He said. I like it though.
A
Back in the studio.
B
It'S a brisky evening on the cobblestone roads in the ban in the Boise.
A
Dude, you. You scare me.
B
You scare me. You could.
A
You know how like some people like during Christmas they dress up as Santa and they sit in pictures like take pictures with kids in the mall for a part time job. Yours would be the anti Santa. You would scare kids. Like you'd be great during Halloween.
B
Okay, let's, let's, let's rewind it two months let's say at Halloween, right? Not Christmas. You could dress up as a werewolf predator.
A
Why the second Word.
B
Now, let's just think about it, okay? We're talking about scaring the youth, right? I think you. I think you'd fit in very well with that job application. Well, if you really got a nice glam squad that, I mean, really made you a wolf.
A
Yeah.
B
You'd scare the piss out of kids.
A
See, I get like emails asking, hey, do you want to be on Squid Games? The challenge? You want to be on Love Island? Yours is like, hey, we hired you for To Catch a Predator. Like, you're gonna be on the new season, so you want to do that. What kind of pizza do you like?
B
There's a guy that looks exactly like you that is as very bad person. And you actually. Wait, where were you last Thursday? They start thinking it's me. That's crazy. You get. You get Love Island, I get To Catch a Predator. You get squid games, a challenge, I get cheaters. And now I'm. Did I just dry snitch? I'm kidding. I would never cheat.
A
How was your week?
B
My week was better than. Calm down.
A
Calm down.
B
It's that. It's that coffee.
A
I got a coffee and I got the extra shot.
B
You need to stick. You need to stick to Red Bull. I do. There's something about that coffee that. That cacao. That natural?
A
Yeah.
B
It just doesn't go right with your insides.
A
No, it's something. And one.
B
You shit a lot.
A
Oh, my God.
B
And I think that stench you were smelling, I genuinely was you.
A
No, no. That was natural. Much?
B
Let's put that to bed.
A
That was ball player.
B
I think that was your ball. Sacked, not ball player.
A
Oh, God, no. I used ball deodorant today.
B
Really? Did you shower this morning?
A
No, I don't shower in the morning. What kind of person are you?
B
Do you shower in the morning?
A
Oh, God, no. Yeah, shower at night.
B
If I'm nasty, I shower at night. If I'm clean, I shower in the morning.
A
When are you not nasty? At night. You have all day on you.
B
All day. But define all day.
A
What do you do all day?
B
If I. Yesterday I showered in the evening about.
A
4:00. Who takes a 4:00 shower?
B
Well, I got back from the gym, I was sweating. Nasty. Gross.
A
Okay. I'm saying. Okay.
B
And then from four to going to sleep, I was literally in my house in a feeder with my dog and my wife.
A
Tank top.
B
Golly.
A
2025.
B
It's ridiculous.
A
Okay. I genuinely believe showering in the morning is disgusting. If you don't shower at night, you are a creep.
B
You're kidding me? You don't. First off, you don't believe that. 100% not real.
A
100%? Yeah.
B
How is showering in the morning nasty?
A
Because you're not showering at night. You're up for 12 hours of the day, and you're just like, yeah, I'm a little sticky. I'm going to bed.
B
Okay, okay. If I'm stinky, I bathe.
A
You're always stinky. If you got all day on your brother.
B
That's personal. But I'm not always stinky.
A
Cam, you've had that same sweat suit on for four days straight, and you're going to bed in it.
B
That's not true. This has been on for two. These are fresh today. Showering at night is very appropriate if you stink. Example. I showered yesterday at 4pm don't know.
A
Stop bringing up your specific scenarios. If you're just all day, say you go by your shower schedule. I'm not gonna shower at night. I'm gonna shower in the morning. You're sitting down. You got grass on you. You got car on you.
B
You got your kid. What am I, vbs? Am I building something in the yard? Why do I have grass on me?
A
What is your daily schedule?
B
I get up, go to my office, do some things in there, call you six times, figure out what we're doing, go to bed.
A
That's all you do. You don't walk your dog.
B
I walk my dog.
A
You don't go outside for a little bit.
B
What?
A
Dude, you go out.
B
What is he talking about? You go on strolls. You just go out. Just have fun outside.
A
You don't sweat in your own home.
B
Now, that's a problem. I already told you, you don't cook. I'm getting the surgery. Cook smells good. I don't mind a little garlic.
A
So you want to go to bed with seasoning, Parmesan and steam from your crock pot.
B
Parmesan. Little bit of dog in the garage area, and a beautiful wife next to you.
A
You don't feel up your wife in the middle of the day. You get a little bit of blood flow and sweat.
B
I do. I do get a little blood sweat.
A
And you're going to bed with that on your sheets?
B
Brother, the sheets are nasty for a reason. First off, your sheets are gross. Don't you dare say anything about my sheets. Your sheets have stains, wallops, Just dead spots. Your sheets are nasty.
A
My sheets are cleaner than yours. If I. If I'm showering before bed.
B
No, they're not.
A
You go to bed and you don't go to bed naked. You go to, you lay down.
B
Exactly.
A
You lay down in your all day clothes, brother.
B
No, no, no. It's only my underwear. You sweat. You sweat alley. You sweat alley. I sweat here. I sweat armpits. You sweat in the ass balls. That's where you sweat. You sweat ass balls. So you getting naked is wicked. You are taking the literal only line of defense away from your nasty crotch in your bed.
A
You're meaning to say we're recording in this studio probably five hours.
B
I shower on recording days.
A
No, no, no. You're gonna go, you're gonna shout, you're gonna record here for five hours. You're gonna sweat, you're gonna move around. The only thing you're taking off is your outer realm of clothes. And you're gonna lay down in bed with your pregnant wife, go to sleep and feel okay about yourself.
B
I shower on recording days. But you know what's even better and not nasty? Showering in the morning.
A
How fresh in the morning.
B
You sweat in your sleep.
A
No, I don't, dude. Yes, I'm dry in my sleep. Unless I have a nightmare.
B
And you freak out often. You have a lot of nightmares. You sweat in your sleep. So when you wake up, you get all the nasty thoughts, all the bad nightmares, all the sweat, microorganisms, bed bugs. You get it all off and you start the day. Also a dopamine release.
A
You wouldn't have organisms and bedbugs in your bed if you showered at night. That's the cause.
B
That's not true. That's not true, Cam.
A
How is that at all cleaner? All you're doing is rinsing off your body for it to go get dirty again. You're going outside, you might as well wake up, maybe have a little bit of sweat on you. All you got to do is maybe even take a little bird bath. Turn on the faucet, sprinkle a little bit on the johnson, get a little bit of that dial soap, rub the crevices, wipe it off, Go start your day.
B
First off, are we not arguing the same thing? Different points? We're both saying we're taking one shower in a 24 hour circular calendar. Correct. It's happening at different points for you to shower, then go to sleep. You go to sleep, sweat nasty, creepy, crazy thoughts for eight hours, then you wake up and do a full day. That's why you stink in the middle of the day. And then you shower at night. I go to sleep. Sweaty, nasty, dirty, creepy, scary thoughts. But then I shower and clean myself for the day. It's the same thing. It's. It's same shit, different toilet.
A
No, I'm just saying it is just disgusting to me that you can lay in your sanctuary with your wife, first off, and have her.
B
I don't hold my bed to that high of standards.
A
That's a problem.
B
That is not my.
A
That's biblical.
B
I like my couch more than my bed.
A
You gotta get a better bed, brother.
B
I do. No, I know it's got lumps in it. I don't know what it is.
A
Showering at night is 100% better than showering in the morning. No, it's not 100%.
B
No. It's because. Okay, you then. That's selfish. That's selfish. How we're gonna say that? I.
A
In.
B
In my sanctuary.
A
That's selfish.
B
In my sanctuary, I don't mind going to sleep without a shower, but if I know I'm going to see other humans that don't share my DNA. What did I just say? If I'm going to see other humans, I bathe myself before presenting. You show up stinky, sweaty, no deodorant, wrinkled T shirt. Now that was personal.
A
That's so mean. That's so mean.
B
Is that not selfish?
A
How are you? Tell me I'm wrong. How are you at all gonna say I'm selfish? Who do you care about most in your life? Your wife or random people in the world?
B
Myself. I'm just kidding. My wife.
A
Okay, so is it more selfish for the person you care about the most to lay beside them with your booty butt sweat cracked draws to go to.
B
Bed with her first off.
A
And your earwax. Clean your ears. Your wife hates it. She can't even. She can't even look at you from the side.
B
She hates eating dinner next to me. That's why I have to sit across from her. If she's next to me, she literally goes, dude, again. And I'm just like, damn it. But no, that would be selfish if my wife audibly complained. She doesn't mind the fumes. So we get in the bed together. First off. First off, love her to death. Through this pregnancy, her belly button's been stinking. Yeah, you've been saying stinks. It's deep. My finger got hooked on it the other day. I was going to rub my son, I swear to God. My pinky went like this. I was like, hey, bubba. I went, oh. Oh. It popped right out. I was like, how deep is that thing? It's a fishing hole. I was like, hey, buddy. Had to pull it out. We don't mind the fumes because they're not that strong. You have to shower at night because you have gone a whole day of not showering. I cleanse in the morning. If I have a very productive day, a recording day, I go to the gym, I shower. It's not right before I hit the bed, but I shower. I put on a tank top in some short shorts to feel good about my quads. I walk around the house and I go to bed. That's not dirty. Would you be confident rubbing your undercarriage and sniffing it right off the wake up?
A
Yes, I'm dry. Wow. It's when the moisture hits.
B
Oh, my God.
A
It's when the moisture strikes, when I get a little bit of adrenaline in my soul. That's whenever I need to start worrying about the odor. You know what I mean? And I went through a stint this week where I was just like. I would shower five minutes after the shower. I'm catching weaves. And so I looked at my. My. My body wash expired three months ago, and I was wondering why. I was putting it on my hand. I was getting a tang, and I was like, that's not right.
B
Wait a second. Body wash has an expiration date.
A
Everything has an expiration date.
B
Okay, well, that's just not a true sentiment, but body wash expires. Everything does not have an expiration.
A
Cameron, everything has an expiration date.
B
Okay, first off, do you want to say everything? Everything has an expiration date?
A
Yes.
B
Okay, when does that couch expire? Choose your words carefully.
A
No. Okay, everything that. Everything that is, like, edible or, like, put on your body.
B
Like FDA honey. Honey.
A
Honey definitely has an unlimited shelf life. No, it does not.
B
The quality of the honey might decay. Unlimited shelf life.
A
Cam, grab a honey bottle, not your honey packs that you use. Malachi's gonna be a strong one. He came out firing.
B
You said. Nah, nah.
A
Sorry, Liv. Sorry. Boy, it was like when you put the sprinkler on high.
B
I was just like, whoa.
A
You ever deflate a balloon animal? Everything honey has an expiration date.
B
Swear to God, it does not.
A
So if you grab a honey bottle, you flip, it says Best Buy, it might be 30 years down the line. It has an expiration date.
B
They have to put that on there.
A
Because why?
B
Because they have to.
A
Because it has an expiration regulation.
B
No, no, honey. If I. If we. If we went to our grandparents house and grabbed honey, they just magically still had some money.
A
Yes.
B
Very much edible. Very much.
A
If you ate your grandparents honey, you turn into your ancestors. Cam. You would be like, get out, you so. You shouldn't do that. That's got potions and smells.
B
Never happened. That would never happen. You said that has horse hair and demon juice.
A
And you would look at living. Be like, how'd you get in?
B
Oh, you're so wrong. You're so wrong. That would not happen. My grandma's a lovely woman.
A
We gotta look back at some of those pictures, see if she was in the crowd.
B
Golly.
A
Like Jerry Jones.
B
Oh, no. Arkansas's finest.
A
He would have definitely been at the rail.
B
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
A
Okay. No dead ass, bro. It's not. Listen, listen. It's not the actual honey that may not expire.
B
What the. What. What are we arguing for?
A
It's the container. If it's in a container, it expires.
B
I'm. I'm about to punch.
A
No, Dennis. The container expires because there's chemicals in. There's chemicals in the plastic. There's chemicals in everything. The wrapper, everything. So that's why it will expire.
B
Then that's probably the. The dates on it for the container.
A
So everything has an expiration date.
B
Containers can drastically change. The containers can drastically change variables for expiration date.
A
That's why everything has an expiration date.
B
My statement was honey doesn't expire. Yes, it does, and that is a absolute fact.
A
No, it does because of the container it's in. Dude, 100%. No. It has to be in a container. Doesn't it? You can't just have honey.
B
Okay, so if someone on a farm takes honey from their hive, they're beehive. They take natural honey, put it in.
A
A glass, Mason jar, expiration date. The chemicals of the glass will get in there.
B
Chemicals of the glass?
A
Yes.
B
Talk to me on that one.
A
Glass doesn't have chemicals.
B
It's glass. It's not melting slowly over time, like plastic is.
A
Okay, so if you melted glass down, you could drink it. What if there's no chemicals in it? It's just purest thing in the world, right? That's Christ. That's Christ glass. That's Christ's window.
B
That's Jesus window.
A
That's our Lord and Savior's window. Right? Melt it down and drink it. See how that goes for you.
B
You're telling me to drink glass?
A
You're saying it's the most pure thing on earth. It can't expire something.
B
If you melt the glass, then, yeah, the honey's ruined. So the glass by itself is not gonna.
A
Where would you put the glass? Where you put the glass Honey, where would you put the glass, honey?
B
On a shelf, okay? In the pantry. What? Is the shelf gonna spook the glass? It gets scared. It crawls up and shrinks and destroys the honey.
A
You have a light in your. In your. In your. Do you have a light in your pantry?
B
Dude, Is he Ned's declassified? Who are you? Who are you?
A
No, I didn't know how to survive school.
B
Yeah, I dropped that. Oh, clearly.
A
No. Is there. Is there a light in your pantry? Dude, is there a light in your pantry?
B
Yes, there's a light in the pantry.
A
So the. The light is going to affect the glass? No, it will affect the honey, bro. Yes, it is.
B
No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't. Does your. Are your grandma's windows still intact?
A
Haven't been there in a while. I don't know. Couldn't tell you. I have to check Zillow. I don't know. Put that one up for sale. You want me to call her and ask? Is that what you want? Grandma? Mimaw. Memaw. No answer. Next question. You want.
B
Huh?
A
You want me to ask her? You want me to talk to a little pig hanging up in her memories?
B
Piano pig. Windows. There's buildings in this world that are very old. Yes, and their windows are still fine. They might do some renovations around the wood, creaking and cracking. Winter, summer, they're clear as day, right?
A
They're just clear as day. There's not a little crack. There's not a little dust on them. There's not a little decay, a little fungus on them.
B
They might be a little dirty.
A
That's not good then. Cam, you don't want to put your honey in it, right?
B
First off, what we said. What we said. You said everything expires.
A
Everything does.
B
Okay? Your statement is that a container expires. That's what you're saying. Don't you change it now.
A
That's not what I said. The container can affect the expiration of the contents in it. Okay? It can expire the contents in it. And that is a fact, Cam. That is just a fact. And you're arguing because you're. You're. No. You're a bigot. I read your journal.
B
My manifesto.
A
You got the refund on the. On the.
B
Why'd you send me that playlist? No honey. Just.
A
Okay, you can close it out. Go ahead. Yeah.
B
Just be with me and be honest.
A
Never with you.
B
Be with me and be honest. Okay, honey. Right does not expire. It has.
A
It has to. Technically, it has To. Okay, sure. We'll go with that.
B
Magical. Let's say it's just sitting there, perfect, in an orbit.
A
Yeah.
B
That orb of honey will never expire.
A
Yes.
B
So if you place the unexpirable orb of honey.
A
Go ahead and close my tabs.
B
Into a. Into a set container. Oh, my God.
A
They were looking at me. Sorry. I'm a Google it.
B
What? No. Oh, you be very specific. What do you. Oh, yeah. You don't like the answer? You see, it probably says something along the lines of pure honey does not expire, but the quality could deteriorate.
A
Did you just read this?
B
No. This? Yeah. Pure honey doesn't. It doesn't expire. I'm telling.
A
Yeah, but no one has pure honey.
B
Dude, this.
A
That's like saying Pablo Escobar had pure cocaine. He didn't. He might have said he did. But the container, he had to put it in plastic.
B
Nyu, Stanford, Yale, Brown, Harvard, the College of Ohio, and Akron. That ucla. Give me the best law programs. You're the new professor. You can't be beat. You can't lose. Honey doesn't expire.
A
Period.
B
End of story. Your magical glass that melts in the window. And the lights from the pantry with the bad, creaky wooden shelves.
A
Maybe I would say we were both right, dude. The you should know podcast this episode is brought to you by PDS Debt.
B
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Big old umbrella.
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Make this the year you take control of your debt. Get a free debt analysis right now@pdsdeb.com it only takes 30 seconds. That's pdsdebt.com y-k PDS debt.com ysk now, on to the rest of the episode. You should know podcast. You know what I've figured out that's not okay to do?
B
What?
A
We went grocery shopping the other day, me and cj, right? First time ever.
B
Congratulations.
A
And I was, I was. I was looking for, like, seasonings, and I was in the pots and pan section. I was like, I don't know what the layout is here.
B
Yeah, I've always seen this store, and.
A
I always found myself in the alcohol. How do I just get over here?
B
You go. Should I get a case of spirit? Well, let's go look at the eggs. No, back to this beer. You keep looking at wine.
A
And then one of the things C.J. got, he got some fruits, he got some apples, and then he got bananas. Now I am. I'm a snacky kind of guy. Anything that can, I could just grab open, eat. That's my bag. I don't like the preparation. I don't like the cleanup. That's where I live is in the snack Era fair. I've been trying to. I've been trying to be more health, right? I've been trying to take care of myself because I wake up and I regret life. And so I saw the bananas sitting on our count. I saw the bananas sitting on our counter, and I was like, easy snack, easy health. Potassium health is wellness. At this time, it was 11:30 at night. I like to snack before bed. There were sun chips or there was the banana. I went and got the banana.
B
Oh, wow.
A
I take it up to my room.
B
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Why'd you do that? You did. You did very much East West Movement. You did very much gallop through a jungle. That's what you just did. You did it, not me. You know what you're doing very much.
A
So I went and I took it upstairs. I got on my co. No, no, no, no. I'm trying to protect you. So I, I. It's 11:30 at night. I'm tired, right? I'm not gonna shower this night. I get naked, I'm opening the banana, and now I'm laying in my bed, right? Spider.
B
For the hundredth time. Oh, it's such a good movie. Such a great, Such a great ending.
A
So I'm watching Spider man, right? I mean, my banana Booty butt.
B
Oh, my God.
A
And I'm eating it. All right. I finished the whole banana. I downed the banana. Time to go to naps. I take a sleeps, right? The most wicked dreams I've ever had.
B
At least fruit.
A
Dude, no. And then I. I googled it. I'm like. Because it was one of those dreams. You wake up and I'm crying. Like, it was like. Like I saw Malcolm, my mom. Like, it was bad. Like, it was horrible. And then you were, like, still a part of my life. And I was like, no.
B
Just take him. Why? My dog and mom.
A
And so I googled it. Bananas. You're not supposed to eat them before you go to bed because it releases something in your brain and it makes you have the most wild dreams ever.
B
Holy shit, dude.
A
Yes.
B
Are you being serious?
A
I swear to God, I googled it. And so now if I'm ever trying to, like.
B
You go, I see you going to the store later, right? Go ahead and grab a couple bundles of bananas. You go, just keep one in the pants. Just throw one upstairs. We go into his room. He literally has a banana tree in the corner. It's like, in a soil pot. And he's just like. Every night he's like. He locks the door with your belt and you go, like. I say.
A
Yeah. So if you want the most wicked dreams you've ever had, down some bananas before you go to bed.
B
See? Okay. Exactly what I just said before we started recording, how I could not sleep last night. I swear to God, I had a banana.
A
I'm telling you, I swear to God.
B
I had a banana. At 11:30?
A
Yes.
B
So when you said that, I thought you infiltrated my house because you were saying my exact scenario. Really? I did not share this to you. I literally had rice cake, peanut butter banana at 11:30.
A
Yeah.
B
And then I could not fall asleep to, like, 3.
A
How deep can you go on a banana? If you were to guess. Like, if you were to just try.
B
It for an experiment, say, 80%.
A
Nice.
B
Dude, 80.
A
Why'd you struggle so much at one time then?
B
Oh, my God. Something that'll. You'll agree. And you. You won't like it, but.
A
Talk to me.
B
Ruby.
A
What about her?
B
Ruby. At night, the noises she makes.
A
What noises does she make? My niece.
B
She does that thing with her yeast in her hand.
A
Yeah. You got to go get her some. Like, I woke up. Pills.
B
I woke up last night.
A
Yeah.
B
And it literally sounded like there was a orc.
A
Yeah.
B
In the corner of a room. Like a toothless orc. Like, eating, like, stew.
A
Yeah.
B
It was like. Like, what the. And then I look at the ground and she's out of our bed.
A
Yeah.
B
She's out of her bed. She's just sitting in the middle of the carpet. She's like this, like, looking like she's sitting and doing that. She normally lays down, like, really enjoys it. Like a creep.
A
Yeah. She eats her yeast.
B
She's sitting upright, and she's like, yeah, just getting a snack. The noises, they gotta stop.
A
Something is up with that. Something is up with your dog.
B
I think so, too. I think she senses the baby's coming. She's about to get a boot to the back seat.
A
Yeah.
B
Or it might be her time.
A
Okay. Oh, God. Finally you're accepting it. Something's not right internally with that dog.
B
She's turned into cannibalism. She's chewing on herself.
A
She eats other things.
B
She eats a lot. She eats her own fluids. No, let's not. Let's keep it safe. I know you're probably eating some food.
A
Your dog, honestly, has been acting different.
B
Yeah, strange. Very strange.
A
Me and cj. So it was your wife's birthday the other day, right? And I told this on Twitch, if you want to be a part of the Twitch family, get these a little early. So me and See, you. You. You. You use. Your wife's birthday.
B
Yes.
A
You took her out for, like, this day date, right? You took her out all day. All day.
B
All day, all day.
A
And then you were like, hey, I'm. I forgot to get her anything.
B
Okay? No, no, no, no. I said no.
A
No.
B
The way this. Oh, yes. Yes. The way this is going, I cannot abandon her. I won't have time to go do the final presentation that I originally planned for.
A
Okay.
B
And then insert Brother of Amazing Grace and Open Arms and you help me.
A
Yes. So Cam was like, hey, I forgot to do anything for her. Can you go to the store? I want you to get her just a bunch of stuff. Take it to my house. It's 40 minutes away. Set it up, and then go back home. And you're not there when we get there, so I can pretend I did it.
B
Oh, my God.
A
Okay. Bet I can do that for you. I can cover up the crime scene.
B
That's not what.
A
So I. Me and cj, we go out, we get a bunch of flowers. So expensive. The flowers he told me to get.
B
Okay.
A
Didn't have any vases at the house. We had to get a bunch of vases. He did. He wanted crystal vases. I said, cameron, Cameron, Crystal. And then I was like. He's like, also get a balloon. I get a balloon. I send him pictures. Not a good enough balloon.
B
Oh, my God.
A
I was like, come on, brother. He made me get a 54 balloon.
B
Oh, my God.
A
I'm like, brother, this is gonna be gone in a week. You know what? I'm my brother's keeper. So I get all this stuff. I'm halfway to his house, 40 minute drive. He goes, he called.
B
He calls me.
A
Let me land. Let me land. He calls me, and he's like, hey, bro, did you get all this stuff? And I'm like, yeah, I got it, bro. It's all in the car right now. I'm on my way. And he goes, did you get a card? I said, brother, did you do anything? It's your wife's birthday. I didn't even know it was her birthday till today. Like, who do you mean? What's going on? He goes, get a card. And I was like, bro, are you. I'm already halfway to your house. He goes, come on, man. Like, I need. I need a card. Set it up right there in the presentation. And I go, all right, what kind of card do you want? Like, can I pick the card at least? And he goes, nah, I want something nice. Yes, brother.
B
It's her birthday.
A
I stop at this Kroger that's by his house. First of all, nothing out there but some cows, some wilderness, and white people. Okay? That's all that's out there. I stop in this Kroger, they got this card section. I'm looking at the cards, right? For wife, wife's birthday, dog's birthday. I'm like, where's just, like, a sentimental wife's birthday? I find one, there's one left. And it is a damn novel.
B
It is a nice card.
A
It was a novel of a card. And it's got. It's got plastic on the outside. I had to unwrap the goddamn thing. It was so expensive. $20 on the card.
B
Oh, my God, Cam.
A
I get to the house. I get to the house. I'm about to open the door. Cam calls me again. He goes, peyton, write something in the card. I go, brother, we don't have the same handwriting. And he goes, it's Liv. She'll never know.
B
Oh.
A
And I go, oh, my God. And then I go, what do you want me to say? He was like, say something about how I love to caress that back part of her neck. And I go, brother, I can't freestyle that. I was like, I can't. I don't know how to.
B
First off, you felt Liv's neck. Great neck. It's a. Now, see, we all need to go to church. We need to go to church. She Has a great back of the neck skin feel.
A
She has a really soft back of the neck. That's me. How I know.
B
Thank you.
A
Actually, how I know is Cam. In college, this is when Cam the started muted. He used to go to all the basketball players.
B
You take that back.
A
Tell me you didn't. Tell me you didn't, you crazy looking bastard.
B
No.
A
Shot all the players, all our friend.
B
Players to our inner circle, which is like eight. No, it was like four.
A
We got our starting five in some of the bands.
B
No. And I said. I said, bro, Liv's neck is extraordinarily soft. I've never felt anything like it. Get you a feel. Get you a little correct.
A
You'd be like, go get a feel. Go get a feel. And I'd be like, all right, bro. It's weird. He'd be like, no, that part right there. Don't grip it, grip it.
B
Go a little lower. Go a little lower. And so I'm like, someone bust in my room. I'm looking at neck grabbing videos. I'm like, oh.
A
And so I was outside of his door writing this note about his wife's neck. And I'm like, bro, this is so strange. This is where the story comes in about your dog. Me and TJ Walk into the house. First of all, you need a better guard dog. You need some kind of protection.
B
0. 0 protection.
A
She had no. I had glasses on and a beanie. That's not my normal attire when I see her. She didn't know it was me.
B
She's dumb.
A
House was dark. She literally was on a couch looking at me, going like, shaking. And I was like. And she, like, was shaking. And I went to. I said. I was like, ruby, it's me. It's Uncle P. I'm trying to touch her, give her some love and let her know it's me. Sniff me. You know, my sniff. She wasn't having it. And I was like, this is making me sad. She ran away to the other side of the house in a corner and was like, scared. And then I was like, I have to connect with this dog. I've been here since your second day. You should love me. So I start hitting her with the Janet, Janiece, Henry, Harold, Ruby. I'm sitting there with all that. You can see. She's trying to figure it out.
B
She said, I know those names. I know those names.
A
And then I'm like, ruby, let's go party. She wouldn't know. I know what that is. Now. She should. She's backpedaling to the Back door, looking at me, and I'm like, harold, you creep. I let her out the pee. I'm starting to put up all the decorations, the million dollars I spent.
B
Beautiful, but beautiful, though.
A
I'm looking at all this stuff I'm figuring out. I'm like, shit, Janet's outside. I go to get Janet outside. She's literally digging under the fence, trying to get out. And I say, harold, she, like, jumps and runs back in the house.
B
She was not with you to end this story.
A
I was like, I know there's one thing me and Janet have that no one else has too much of. I know my niece loves some goddamn food.
B
She does.
A
I'm like, ruby, you want to eat? She gets a little happy. I'm like, ruby, I know where your food is. I go, grab the food. She's like, what the. How did you know?
B
I knew. I knew you. I knew it.
A
You said to put one scoop. I put two and a half. I was like, ruby, she was thick, dude.
B
I got home and I was. What the hell did she eat? She was huge.
A
And so she's eating. She's eating right. Looking back at me, she's like, thank you, Savior.
B
She's like, thank you, thank you, thank you, sire. I knew you were my uncle. I was just a little scared.
A
And then to tip, to make sure that she knew I was Uncle P. I know her treats at. Normally, you, like, give her one little treat for going outside. I gave her four, and I don't hand her one at a time. She knows an uncle pee sandwich. I get them, and I squish them all together so she gets a good fix. Fix that tree. That's strange. And it hurt my heart.
B
Okay. No, no, you lied maybe seven times. A million dollars.
A
Obviously not a million.
B
Oh, I know.
A
Nowhere near about 250.
B
Oh, my God, this mother.
A
D.J. was it not 250?
B
This man goes, oh. This man goes. I go, hey, just tell me how much I owe you. I really appreciate it, bro. Thank you. I got you. He goes, oh, no problem. 160. You got 10% interest every day it's not paid back. I go, all right. Bastard. We go to his house, couple days later, little team bonding, right? We go there, I whip out a buck 60, cold, hard cash in your hand, takes it, scoops it immediately to the pocket. Thanks for doing business. And he goes, now, wait a second. Let me check my account real quick. I go, what for? He goes, I want to make sure it wasn't more than 260. I did a good job. I Go. I mean, all right, bro, like, I'll pay you for it. He checks his account, $76. And you took 200% of that. You wanted double of that 40 minute car ride. Try 26 minutes.
A
Not true.
B
Oh my God.
A
5:00 traffic.
B
Oh, that's just your fault. That is absolutely your fault.
A
Your fault for not getting your wife a gift.
B
I got her a gift. I got her a gift. I didn't get her a presentation and I couldn't ditch her because she was with me.
A
Okay?
B
So light on the limit. And you doubled the money and accepted it, you sick creep. But I still love you. And you helped out.
A
And I had to charge my car too, so you paid for that.
B
I paid for your. I paid your electricity. I paid for the drive, I paid for the materials. And then a $40 tip.
A
Yeah, and I don't know why I asked CJ for like confirmation on it. Can I admit that he is the worst friend to have around? Let me expose this little bastard. I was gonna save this for Patreon, but since we're on the exposing tip, brother. We went out to a club, right? We went out to a club. I had this jacket that I bought in Vegas on tour, right? That was a blue bomber jacket, an expensive jacket.
B
Very nice.
A
I didn't know if I actually liked it, so I kept the big. There's a tag on the back of it. No, there's a hanging tag on the neckline that goes inside the jacket. But you. It can easily pop out. It's literally like this big, bro.
B
It's like a postcard.
A
And I kept it on it cuz I was like, I might resell this for double the value because it's one of those kind of jackets. So I didn't take it off. I worked at the club, right? I'm in the club. We're starting to drink, right? I'm in the club. CJ's over there. There's too many women. So. So I'm in there, right? I'm in there. I'm taking pictures with people, right? People are coming up, taking pictures. Oh, you want to drink? Whatever. I'm like, oh, cool. Bet, bet, bet. Something back here is not right. I feel a little more free in the back normally. I feel that tag back there.
B
Oh, no.
A
At this point, I'm in full Peyton mode, right? In this club.
B
You're in that, man.
A
I'm in here. I'm in the club, feeling myself, right? This lovely woman, right? She walks to the back of me and I start feeling somebody Start pulling on my shit. And I'm like, hey. And she goes, come here, baby. I'm just fixing your tag. It's popping out. And she's like, I'm not trying to put your business out there like that, but we can see you still got the tag on.
B
She goes, we know you're going back tomorrow. It's okay.
A
And then I go, are you kidding? She was like, yeah, I've been watching you for like 30 minutes. This has been flying back there. And I said. I said. I looked at cj. I was like, are you kidding me? And then I look at her, I'm like, oh, I'm so sorry. Like, thank you for. Thank you for helping me.
B
Thank you for noticing and being there for me.
A
She goes, by the way, love the videos. It makes sense now.
B
I said, no. And then you turn. If it was like a show, you just pant. You slowly pan to cj. He's just like this.
A
Yeah, that's exactly. I was like, bro, you didn't see that? And he goes, I wasn't looking at your neck. I'm six seven.
B
You have no choice but to see my neck.
A
Yeah, that's an update on my week, by the way. That's been absolutely insane. What happened at the casino? What happened at the casino? Oh, no, we'll say that for Patreon. We'll say that for Patreon. His smirk. Let's say that, man.
B
Gotta love Bubby.
A
Gotta love. Do we?
B
Oh, I love him to death. I'm not gonna lie. It's getting that point of the year. I'm starting to shed.
A
Shed.
B
I'm starting to shed.
A
What do you mean?
B
Layer of skin removing from my body.
A
Oh, you're like extra.
B
Like full blown shedding, like chameleon stuff.
A
It's the worst. But it's kind of like bringing you to a new.
B
It kind of like is coming out of your cocoon. Yeah, but I don't. I like my cocoon. I like what I have going.
A
You should.
B
I don't want to shed.
A
You should probably shed it. It'll take some percentage off too. You'll step on that scale in the morning and be like, wow, am I really fat?
B
Can we break this down?
A
No, you're not.
B
You're thick.
A
You big boned.
B
Is it a good. You go. Whatever you want to say it. Whatever helps you sleep.
A
All inclusive air is. Is.
B
Is it. Is it like a concern? Have you seen. Have you seen residuals lap over month to month?
A
No, not now.
B
Here, pound there.
A
No, not now. There was A time. A couple months ago, I was like. But then you started. You got back, so I never brought it up. You fought back.
B
I fought the good fight. I fought the good fight. No, dude. That whole time period around, like, moving in.
A
Yeah.
B
I didn't go to the gym. Probably like two months.
A
Oh, I could tell. No, you don't have to tell me. I haven't been to the gym in some months either. Can't tell you.
B
Go. It's actually interesting. When I don't go to the gym, I look better. I really get snatched when you don't go to the gym. You look like a young kid hungry for a can of cinnamon rolls. Busted. Okay, well, it's okay. I'm glad to know that you're honest with me. That's a positive honesty.
A
Always honest with you.
B
So I thought. I have an idea.
A
Okay.
B
Let's just be honest with the people and let's immediately do a little quiz. All right.
A
Okay.
B
We always like quizzes. You're always good. We're just gonna keep it a buck.
A
Let's do it.
B
Okay. It's just some random questions.
A
Okay.
B
That are pretty. You know, I'd say maybe. Are you smarter than a fifth grader type?
A
Yeah.
B
Saw some of these questions. Want to ask them to you.
A
Some of these fifth graders are on roids. Let's put that out there.
B
After I read these fifth graders don't have friends. They don't, but here we go.
A
Okay.
B
I'm simply going to title this Just Quiz because this is. It's.
A
What's it about?
B
It's. They're just questions. There are just standard questions.
A
Let's do it.
B
As an American, you should be able to answer them.
A
You don't know where I'm from.
B
You ready?
A
Yep.
B
Here we go. What is the northernmost point in the United States?
A
Canada. Well, no. Well, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, I was thinking about the continent. No, no, no. Dead ass. I know. North Dakota.
B
Okay, so wrong. Still. So your first answer was out of our country. Let's think. Let's let that sink in. Your first answer was not even a part of our country. The most northern point of the US Is not North Dakota.
A
What's right under Canada? North Dakota's right under Canada, dude. New York.
B
You're getting closer. But wrong.
A
Maine.
B
Wrong.
A
Delaware.
B
That's below it. Right? You really did that. Delaware. He said Maine or said New York. Maine. Delaware.
A
No, it's to the east.
B
No.
A
Oregon.
B
Oh, close.
A
Washington.
B
Dude.
A
State.
B
Dude, Dude. Alaska. It's. Alaska is the most northern part.
A
I Thought you meant the things that are touching. We're not touching that country. We just bought that.
B
They are. They are our.
A
Oh, never mind.
B
All right, what is the most western point of the United States? America.
A
Why Alaska? I. I assume so.
B
Okay, now you're gonna lock in.
A
That's west.
B
That is what I said.
A
There's no we. No west. No west. No. Northwest.
B
That is west.
A
Kim Kardashian.
B
Northwest. Good morning. What is the eastern. Now get back to that. Translate. What is the easternmost point of the United States?
A
New York.
B
No.
A
Florida. No, I was gonna say Australia, but that doesn't make sense. That would be wrong. Dude, you.
B
Eastern most eastern point.
A
North Carolina. Because there's that little divot. They go out there a little bit. If you look at the map there, it's a catty corner. It's a little catty wampus. The little cattywampus. You wanna know the answer? Yeah.
B
Alaska. It's so far west, it crosses the line.
A
It bends.
B
It's. What? What did you just say? It bends. It bends.
A
No. So, like, there's a map, and if it's on Northwest. You wrap that john around. That's easy.
B
It's so. First off, stop saying northwest. We understand. It's northwest.
A
North.
B
We're talking about east and west. It is so far west, it crosses the center line. It is now east.
A
It's like a Russia situation.
B
There you go. It's like Moscow. Downtown Moscow. Okay, I have faith in this one because.
A
Stop asking me. Geography. You said it wasn't about one thing. Always a geography.
B
There's other ones. There's. I have faith in this one. We're gonna finish out the court and.
A
The map isn't real.
B
We're good.
A
So none of this is really valid. You've never been. I've never been. We don't know. It's what they tell us.
B
What is the Southern.
A
Dude.
B
What is the southernmost point in the United States?
A
Florida.
B
Correct. There you go. There you go. What part of Florida? For extra points.
A
Dude, I don't know. Tallahassee.
B
No. The Keys.
A
South Beach.
B
The Keys. He goes. South Beach. The Keys. How many outs are in a single inning of baseball?
A
Seven. Seventh inning stretch. How many outs? Three. Six.
B
There you go. There you go. Okay. During a leap year, Four. What?
A
Four years. In a leap year, it's always confused me.
B
I want you to say.
A
I told you about that one, kid.
B
I want you to say that again, slowly.
A
Four years. Whoa.
B
Four years. In a leap year.
A
No, but you.
B
Like we in the tesseract. Are we seeing? Are we seeing time and gravity?
A
Okay. No. Okay. Ask it again. Finish it this time.
B
Yeah, thanks. During a leap year, which month or months have 29 days?
A
During a leap year, February has 28. So. Not that that doesn't count. None. All of them.
B
There you go.
A
It took me some time to get there, but we figured it out. You just gotta let me work. You just gotta let them little engines go.
B
All right? This is just personality.
A
Okay.
B
I just want to see.
A
Okay.
B
Ah, no, it's easy, cuz you switch it. It's been there for a minute. Okay, I was gonna say without looking right now. What is your wallpaper on your phone? Oh my God. It doesn't know. I know what your wallpaper is.
A
What is it?
B
I'm not gonna tell you.
A
Figure it out. That's a quote.
B
It is a quote. Need more than that?
A
Some. I need more than that. Let your faith. Some faith out. Work your fear.
B
Something like that. There you go.
A
There you go.
B
Check it.
A
Please, God, let your faith be bigger than your fear.
B
There you go. How many letters in the Alphabet? If you take out T and V.
A
24.
B
There you go. Okay. Good job. Good job, bubba. You need to work on geography. Now, I fused that in there because you're really not good with space in location, and we know that, but I fused a couple in to kind of give you some of confidence.
A
I'm saying. But geography isn't real, dude. We have no sense of how big anything actually is. It's just a diagram. Not a diagram.
B
What would you say to science?
A
Science.
B
What would you say to science?
A
Geography wouldn't be two different classes if it was the same thing.
B
Geography is the location. I'm saying, sizes of things, depths of things, they've been studied. Okay?
A
Yeah, but if you think about it, it's all make believe. Says there's no actual line on a state. There's a sign. We don't know how straight that thing is. You know what I mean?
B
It could be a little curve.
A
You know what I mean?
B
No.
A
So you're saying like on a map, right? If you look at a map, all the lines for the states are straight. Little jagged, whatever. Straight. But most of them are straight, right? It's like this is the line.
B
Are you kidding me?
A
We're putting that. That welcome to Oklahoma sign right? When I'm going to casino and I.
B
Gotta go 90 miles in a straight line like that?
A
Yeah. I don't think that's correct.
B
It is. Is.
A
Why?
B
Because they say so. Yeah, people said it is.
A
But you, you know that the United States map on the world map is not accurate.
B
See, I don't know. I researched that when you told me, and I don't know.
A
No, it's a fact that we made like, the U. S. Version of the world map. The United States is bigger to make us seem more powerful. We're not that big.
B
We are that big.
A
Not as big as we put on the map. Comparative to other sides, other continents.
B
First off, what is a USA Map?
A
Like, what is the map of us?
B
But I'm saying, like, what is where? Like, how is that different? If I was. If I was a Chinese student in China and I searched map of United States. I'm saying if you're seeing different results as of me, if I search.
A
Yeah, they don't have free Internet like we do. So it's different. Like they have. They have a controlled Internet, right?
B
China doesn't have Google.
A
No, they do, but it's like a controlled Internet, right? They don't because they're not in a democracy.
B
I think you're thinking about Korea, brother.
A
Different.
B
Very different. Very different.
A
Okay, no offense.
B
Yeah, let's take a back step. I think they can.
A
No, I'm saying, but like the map.
B
Hella good, kids in Apex legends from China.
A
I swear, the maps that are. Are printed in the US and like our textbooks in the world maps, the United States is made bigger than what it actually is.
B
You can ears and eyes up.
A
You can Google, listen, you can google. You can google the actual world map in the US Version of the world map. You can Google it right now and you can see.
B
But is that not the same foot that you stepped forward with in the previous conversation? Someone just said that.
A
Yeah, that's why I said I started this whole thing off with geography isn't real. He said, yes, it is, because the white said so. That's what you just said.
B
That is not what I said at all. You're saying that the maps are different because someone said so.
A
All of it's not real. I don't believe anything. I don't believe anything.
B
Who are you, dude? I don't believe shit you got, dude. But people like you, they rub me the wrong way. You rubbed me. You rub me some right ways, some good ways, but you rubbed me the wrong way with that. You gotta. If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything.
A
All right, Is he like spitting out quotes like, bro, you even like saying words.
B
You stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything, okay? If you don't.
A
What are you saying? Bro, he's like saying quotes today. Like what is going.
B
What other quotes have I said?
A
Just everything.
B
No, no, I'm saying if you don't believe in anything.
A
I believe in something.
B
You. Dude, what the. Is he. Is he all right?
A
I believe in God.
B
No, okay, of course. But I'm saying 30 seconds ago you said I don't believe in anything. You said I don't. Those kids, those words.
A
I said geography.
B
You said I don't believe in anything that they say.
A
Like if it's man made, I don't believe it. Like if you're making me. If you're making me knowledge off of a man made thing, I don't believe it. Like Matt, like this. Well, I believe this guy can see it. I could touch it. The man made. I could touch this. I'm saying like math isn't real.
B
Do you believe gravity is real?
A
I'm still not quite sure what that is and how it works. I know the moon and the waves affect it. That's all I know. That's all I know. Let's move on to something else.
B
Let's do it.
A
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B
I saw something, realized it, and I think you and only you, you're the only person on this earth that can help me understand this.
A
That's a. That. I've never been told that in my life.
B
Oh, and just wait.
A
I've never been told that.
B
This has to go with doctors, right? I'm not getting it.
A
Oh, we.
B
We love.
A
We appreciate it.
B
There we go. But I'm not getting into a spooky good.
A
Scam, scam, scam, scam.
B
Money, money, money, Vic Farma. But I have a bone to pick. You go to doctor's room, right? Let's say for a colonoscopy. Why did I choose that? You'll see.
A
I want one. Stick it in. Go. Don't something go. Doesn't something go in?
B
Stick it in.
A
Yeah. Oh, that's a prostate.
B
That's a colonoscopy, too.
A
How often can I go in for that?
B
No, you go, I'm back from my quarterly colonoscopy. He goes, sir, we need you to leave. We need you to get out of here.
A
I go into the doctor, I'm already down like this. Like, Peyton, you're here for a flu shot.
B
Your ass out. You're like, where's Jenny? I lost. I really like Nurse Jenny. You're like, sir, we're here to take your blood.
A
I'm like, well, take something else.
B
But doctors, right? For these very intimate. These very intimate things. It could be a pap smear. We know what that is now, right?
A
Like a Diet Coke.
B
Nothing to do with beverages. Pap smear. Colonoscopy could be whatever.
A
Yes.
B
Why do they give you. Now? I semi understand it, but if we. If we take it for face value, doctors would be like, you know, I'll leave the room, give you privacy to change.
A
Right?
B
And then they come in, and they're looking all up in your haunch.
A
Yeah.
B
They got fingers in caboose. They are in your most intimate parts. But they'll let you just change your T shirt. They'll let you drop your pants without looking, but then they will literally press your anus and stick a probe in there and be. Be eye to eye with your toothless. They will be eye to eye with your butthole.
A
Okay.
B
Talking about some. I'm a gama. Step out. Give you a second.
A
Because.
B
Are you kidding me?
A
Because it's for people like me.
B
How did this become people like you?
A
Because I'm not good. I'm not. Nothing's right on the initial takedown.
B
I agree. I got I agree.
A
Come on. Come on. And then. And then. Oh, man. And then. A lot of doctors offices have mirrors in there. So if I know they're going down the back door. If they're not, if they're open up the back gate, I'll take a little bend and bend and peek. And I got to take out some berries. I gotta take out some. Some leftovers.
B
Some dingleberries you just gotta clean up. You have to take out dingleberries from your butt?
A
Not every time.
B
You have crusted poop. No, in your butt hair. Charlotte's Web. You have crusted poop.
A
Not every time.
B
Could you imagine with the poor, poor ass doctor that has to give you your first colonoscopy?
A
At least obese.
B
He'll be like, dude, dude, dude, dude. You just said something about a mirror. What if you went in to, like, a colonoscopy specialist and they had a mirror on the ceiling?
A
Oh, my God.
B
This. You're like, oh, go a little left, Doc. Go little. That. You're like, okay, check. That would be some sick dude.
A
My dad, whenever he got his prostate exam, he came back home, he was wearing a blanket.
B
He was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, dude.
A
He was like. He was like, you know, Peyton. He said, peyton, you know, one day it's gonna be you. You got to do it.
B
And I said, when you said, how early, Pops?
A
You promise?
B
He's sitting there, he's like, oh, no, no, no, son. Dude, speaking of prostates.
A
Yeah.
B
My old basketball coach, he's dead now, but when he was alive, when we were in high school, he came back one day and one of his pre game, like, prep talks was about his prostate exam. He was talking about how he has our back no matter what because he was sick, right? He had cancer, but I'm saying. So he went in and got checked, right? And his weird, strange approach to this conversation, he was talking about how he's got our back. And he was like, even when I'm in my lowest of lows, I'm still here on game day. He said, I went earlier today, 3:30pm that's why I was late to the freshman game. I'll apologize to him later. 3:30, he said, this cute nurse, she had to lube up a glove and she had to go inside of me, boys. And all I was thinking about is how we're gonna break their press. He said, I just want y'all to know that I got your back. And damn it, if I could wear a jersey, I would. And we were like, what? The bro, it's like. It's like 10 minutes before Leia blinds. He's talking about how he had someone in his butt. And he's like, if I. I was just thinking about Brett Break. He said if I could be in a jersey, I'd give him my all. And I'm like, dude, I don't want to play anymore. I'm like, I. I'll literally sit this one out. You got it?
A
That's the craziest.
B
Like, he. A strange world, man.
A
That is so weird.
B
Bad, bro.
A
Dude, that. That gets me thinking about our barber, because he's strange too, bro. Brooks or barber, if you're on Patreon. You've seen him before.
B
Oh, my God.
A
Dude, wait, wait, wait.
B
Where are you going with this?
A
I'm not going. Cause you like things that don't make sense for your job, right? Like. Like your coach, he said something that doesn't make sense for his job at all. I think. I think our barber is Captain America on the side, bro. Like, I swear to God, this dude can't figure it out, brother. Like, I love him to death. Figure it out.
B
It's just. Just a creature of motivation.
A
And, bro, he gives beautiful blends.
B
Yes.
A
Amazing fades. Great barber.
B
Yes.
A
He does tattoos.
B
He flies planes.
A
He's. He's. He's joining the Air Force, right. One day, so we get a cut right. The next day he goes, yeah, I just got my license to tattoo skulls, Right. I can tattoo skulls, give people hairlines. I said, oh, congrats. Next time we go in, he goes, yeah, man. Thinking about joining the Air Force. What? And he goes, yeah, I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be overseas for a little bit. So I got some recommendations for y'all.
B
Yeah, it's not. It wasn't like a one off sentence.
A
No.
B
Like, he gave us a, like, two hour talk about.
A
Yeah, like, what he's gonna do with his wife, his daughter.
B
It's beneficial to his family tree.
A
I said, okay. I was like, congrats, Brooks. Yeah. Next day, he comes in, he's like, peyton, tell me how to work that dslr. Like, how content wise. Like, how do you really make that focus shift?
B
I'm thinking about getting a white matte paint from my back room. I'll turn into a studio. What?
A
I said, okay. I gave him the knowledge on that. Then I'm on Instagram this week. I'm looking at my stories. This brother is doing taxes for people. He's saying, hey, I got the. This guy. Was he owed $3,000? I brought down to 1500. Do your taxes with me. No, Turbo, I said what?
B
He's like, you need a local cpa. I got you covered. I'm like, so you mean to tell me you can take me in a stealth bomber? We land, you cut my hair, give me a tattoo, you shoot professional photos, and then at the end of that, you write my taxes for me?
A
What?
B
He is Steve Rogers dude. Yeah, that is perfect. He is Captain America dude.
A
He's a strange guy. Love him to death.
B
Love Brooks. He's a great guy. And now he's a father too. Now he's a father. There's another. There's another car.
A
And an architect. He built a gym. Brother, like, let's settle down. Let's take some more naps during the day, huh? You're tired. You have to figure it out.
B
I'm not gonna lie. Last time I went to get my cut, when y'all weren't there, his lunch was a chicken salad.
A
Mm.
B
With strawberries on it. Drinking a green matcha tea.
A
Yeah.
B
Ate half the salad, then down, like, poured some special sauce over it.
A
Yeah.
B
Two bites with the sauce. Closed it up, threw it away. Cut my hair as I'm walking out, whips out like a Belveda and I'm like, what are we doing?
A
Hey, I think I'm gonna fire him. And I think I'm gonna move on. Nah, cuz he's really starting to creep me out. I think he's done.
B
Hey, can we talk about.
A
Hold on.
B
I think we spoke on this a little bit. Peyton. Peyton loves Brooks. Good, great guy. Been cutting his hair for a long time. Peyton put all of us on to Brooks. So shout out Peyton. But Peyton does not speak to this man when he gets his haircut.
A
No, I don't.
B
I am. I have always thought that just on your phone. It's not disrespectful or anything, but me going to great clips and super cuts majority of my life.
A
Yeah.
B
One, didn't have a phone. Two, I was just like this.
A
Yeah.
B
And it was like a woman talking about, oh, you ready for the season? Stuff like that.
A
Yeah.
B
So now it's Brooks. It's better conversation. I'm never on my phone. It's just full blown hour of talking. And I think Brooks gets annoyed at it.
A
Yes, he does. He's all me.
B
He gets annoyed at me yapping.
A
Yeah.
B
But then when I see the counter, the counter of me, which is you, I'm like, peyton just got a haircut for an hour.
A
Yeah.
B
And he said 13 words. Exactly how do you do that?
A
I don't want to talk.
B
But how. You know Brooks?
A
Yeah.
B
You're friendly with Brooks.
A
Love him.
B
How do you not talk to him?
A
Don't want to. Just like that. Hey, I read comments because we've had the debate before. Have you talked during appointments? Yeah, I was reading the comments and a lot of people were saying, hey, I'm a hairstylist. Hey, I'm a nail tech. Hey, I'm a business. And they're like, we appreciate clients like Peyton.
B
Yeah, they sided with you.
A
I'm like, because we talk all day, every day, like. And so it's nice to have that one appointment where we can just be silent and do a work and get out. I'm like, that's what I'm for.
B
You go, I'm here. I am the token one point.
A
But something did happen to me. I have so much happened to me this week. Now. I need to know where you lie on this situation.
B
I'm gonna get. I'm getting scared.
A
I need to know your point of view. So I get a lot of emails in my personal email. A lot of emails. Right. And I have a lot of money coming out of my account. Like, I just don't know where it really goes. That's why I have an account. I just don't know where it's going. So I'm not really keeping track of what's going on.
B
You should change that.
A
I should.
B
You should definitely change it.
A
And I saw it's on my phone. I was doom scrolling, doing my thing. I get an email that popped up an alert box, and it was from a church, and it said, peyton Hardin, thank you so much for your $2,000 donation. And I said. And it said, this is helping the kids ministry and the kids that are, like, terminal illnesses. Let me put that out there. Let me just say that that's the email I got, and I am not joking. Never heard of this church before. For I've never donated to one and especially not two grand. Now, at first I said, who the is scamming me? Who. Who took my credit card and gave it to that ministry? Oh, but then I'm starting to wage a war in my brain. Do I. Do I take my two grand back away from the sick kids.
B
Or do.
A
I let this scammer get away with the two grand?
B
Oh, my God. All right, let's break it down.
A
Let's break it down.
B
The principal, right? You need your money back.
A
I did not give that money.
B
I did not authorize $2,000. But the morality yeah. You don't want to take it from these sick, beautiful children or the church. Or the church or, Or Jesus. Good morning to you, God. But the principle, that's my. I, I, I say, oh, my God.
A
I've been bro. Every day, I'm like, you, like you're feeding.
B
You just bite something and hit something.
A
And then I'll see a commercial, and it's with the arms of the angel and there's kids shaking you.
B
No, no, I didn't. No, no, no. He said kids. No, I thought the arms of the angels for pets. No, he did it to me. No, we can't stand for this. No, no, but I. The arms and angels is pets. It's pets. That's why I did it. It's pets.
A
Even the sick pets. Yeah. You don't.
B
They're not sick. They're just homeless. They're not, they're not sick. They're very healthy. They just. They don't have a home. That's all it is. No, I'm just saying, okay. You see charitable donation commercials, and it ignites a fire within you.
A
Yeah.
B
Because you're like, man, I'm here for the cause.
A
I got one.
B
Hell, that is my money, and I did not authorize.
A
It's like, if you were to let me, if you, if you were to let me make that decision, I'll make it. If I knew that this was happening, maybe I help. So you've, so you never heard of this church? It wasn't in Texas, Cameron. Oh, it was like, in one of those states that don't exist. Idaho, one of those.
B
Now that right there. That right there pushed the needle for me.
A
Yeah.
B
That swayed me. Get your money back.
A
There's sick kids outside of Texas.
B
Get your money back. I know that. But if you, if the scammer doesn't even have the decency to live in the same. In a zip code in the same state.
A
I don't know how he got that and how that money got approved.
B
I know you. First, you need to. You need to check your car. Let's do that.
A
You need to check your cards.
B
You need to check your roommate. Because I'm thinking, dude, I'm thinking if we, if we're having to draw circles, make an FBI board, that first yarn goes. Who the hell else is in the house? That guy.
A
And who has my personal email logged in on their desktop.
B
Damning evidence? He's in the house with you. He's oftentimes a woman wake past you.
A
Yeah.
B
And he has your personal email. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That means he saw the email too, and he never brought it to your attention. Dude.
A
Oh, my God. Two weeks left.
B
It's him.
A
What.
B
What business do you have in Idaho?
A
Nothing.
B
No, nothing. No, no.
A
I didn't even see the email.
B
Oh, that's easy to say, dude.
A
He was. He was going through. I ran into his room one day. He jumped whenever I opened his room. I thought he was beating it. He wasn't fully clothed. He was looking at my prescriptions.
B
I had to make sure he was taking this stuff.
A
That's illegal, dude.
B
That is a violation of hipaa and you need to go to jail. You. Let's, let's, let's, let's. Let's jury this out real quick. Yes or no questions, you're on the stand. Do you have his personal email on your device? Yes. Have you checked it before? Nope. Yes or no questions? There's no maybe. So you have. So now we have the understanding he has access to your email. He has looked at it before. So is it wrong to assume that matter of fact, is there a possibility you could have seen this donation email? Is there a possibility?
A
Yes.
B
Okay, so if there's a possibility you could have seen this and you said no words about this to him, do you think that raises a red flag to Mr. Hart, my client? No, it's yes or no questions.
A
He saw that. I saw it.
B
Is. Oh, my. You burying yourself, brother?
A
Now, Is that a fireable offense?
B
That is a. That is a prisonable offense. You are scamming him in the name of the Latter Day Saints. You're sending my. I love your heart in this case, but I don't at the same time, dude.
A
Okay, okay, we'll fire him later. But yeah, that. It's been literally a waging war in my brain because it's like taking away from the kids in Christ is hard for me.
B
That's. That's tough.
A
I didn't give that money.
B
You go. But it's not taking away. If I never gave it. Yeah, dude.
A
It's one of the toughest situations I've ever been in.
B
Better man than me.
A
Oh, no. I know.
B
You'd be like, give me my neck right now. I did not. That was not me. If I want to do it, it's a great caught. Matter of fact, give it back, and I'll give it back. Then once they gave that two, I'd send one. I go, there's principle behind this. I still. I still support the cause, but someone stole from me.
A
Yeah.
B
Oh, my God. That is. Have you took any action on it?
A
No, I think I've just kind of let it go. I think it was Jesus telling me to give that money.
B
Round of applause for P. Round of applause for P. Good.
A
Yeah.
B
Good God.
A
The you should know podcast this episode is brought to you by friends of Rocket Money.
B
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B
Okay. Pierce said something to me the other day. Oh, it struck a thought. Don't do it again. It struck a thought. You remember school lunches when we were children?
A
Loved them. Until Michelle. She came through. She came through in healthiness.
B
That was an inappropriate dad.
A
I love Michelle. One of my first crushes, Michelle Obama. For real. She was. Oh my God, dude, I had something for her. I was like Barack, you lucky bastard. Dude, I loved her. She changed school lunches.
B
You had a. You had a thing for Michelle.
A
Oh, my God. What? You had a thing with Queen Latifah. One. I win.
B
Oh, no. Michelle versus Queen.
A
You're not kidding me. They're both beautiful.
B
They're both. You're nuts. You're nuts.
A
No.
B
Anyway, you just.
A
Cuz that one scene in that movie. Dude, I'm sure if Michelle had that scene, we'd be changing the convo. Anyway, keep going.
B
Anyway, school. They were fantastic, right?
A
So good. The squared pizzas.
B
Oh my God. The Bosco sticks.
A
Oh my God. What's that?
B
Did y'all have that little snowball thing? A little pink Kirby looking. You've had that breakfast. They had like a pink sugar bowl.
A
Not a breakfast guy. I never had breakfast at the school.
B
Yeah.
A
Except for the breakfast pizza, which would just be the lunch pizza. Just cold.
B
Earlier. They did it earlier. Made it a little bit smaller.
A
Same pizza, little less heat on it.
B
Little less heat, little smaller. But do you think in hindsight, now that we've grown up, especially you, the shepherd of the wokeness.
A
Yeah.
B
Do you think those were experimental hours? Do you think the government was really breaking out? Test. Test for school lunches.
A
Testing what?
B
Like, statistics? Like, if we feed these kids cardboard pizza.
A
Yeah.
B
And put them in these classes, are they gonna go work for our company?
A
Oh, you got me. You're about to get me on the thing, but then we gotta get on Patreon. No, but the school system is a. Is a pipeline. Oh, for the cue course. Yeah.
B
I'm talking specifically Michelle's experiments in our lunches. And when it quickly became not fun to eat at the school anymore, I started packing my lunch. I gained 12 pounds in a month. They were keeping it scarce in that line.
A
Damn. I'm sorry for the jokes. You've been had a problem.
B
Dude. Dude, I had. You had to pay $3 for an extra entree. But all I got was pizza, applesauce, and milk.
A
You. Oh, you're on free reduced. Not a problem if you are. I'm just not on free reduced. I'm just asking. I'm saying. Because they didn't have prices.
B
What?
A
He was like, you just put it like, you get like a fund and it would pay for the meal, but you were like an extra item was $3. I never grabbed from the chips in.
B
The bag, you know, But I grabbed the extras. I was hungry. I was hungry. I have always been hungry. Okay. I think I have trauma from the youth. I'm hungry. You got a worm. I am hungry, but overpriced.
A
Yeah.
B
Not good nutrients. And they swore they were not good nutrients. The very. The very thing you say is getting banned by our country. Uncrustables was the deluxe item of school lunches when we were in there. That was the cream of the crop. The holy grail.
A
Yeah.
B
Was a PB and J. It was 200 calories. Now it's getting banned.
A
Did you ever do the walk of shame whenever you, like, ran out of lunch money and they would give you the little cold cheese?
B
Give me two pieces of bread with cheese in the middle in a milk wrapped in plastic. And I have to walk past all my friends who going, oh, cheese sandwich boy. And I was like, hey.
A
But I would take that 100% of the time over the kids. I would go to the microwave in the cafeteria. If you're heating up. If you're heating up your school lunch in front of everybody, go to hell.
B
If you use the public microwave to punch in a minute 45 through your frozen lasagna, you're a joke. You're a joke. Oh, God forbid you bring a thermos. God forbid you bring a thermos. God forbid. If you bring a thermos with pasta, you deserve to be expelled. There's no getting around it.
A
A thermos with some SpaghettiOs.
B
That is. Yo. Really? That is horrific work, CJ. Yes or no? You're still on the stand. Yes or no? Yes or no? Did you bring a thermos to an indoor public school for some pasta?
A
Yes, I had a thermos with SpaghettiOs and it had a spoon that folded in half.
B
Oh, my God. You had foldable utensils. Wait, 33 in the sixth grade? No, I didn't have a note. Oh, God. Dude, I was in the eighth grade. Oh, my God. Did you make your own lunches or did your mom make it? Dude, it's just getting better, man.
A
Oh, man.
B
Hey, holy mad respect for Mr. Man, though. Mad respect, CJ.
A
Dude, not really, though, right?
B
Oh, dude, my. My. My lunches, when I brought them, were criminal. Both my. Both my parents were gone by the time I left school. I literally would bring two turkey, cheese, lettuce sandwiches, two bags of chips. I would grab about nine Oreos, put them in a plastic bag, peanut butter crackers, small Gatorade, big thing of water, fruit roll up, and a Nature Valley bar. And I down that bitch at nine minutes. I clean all of it. Vacuum clean that hoe do.
A
Yeah.
B
You don't know what. People knew not to talk to me during. During school lunch. Like, they. They're like, just give him 10 minutes. Like, I literally was like, it's like.
A
It's like when you give, like, a big dog a bone, you go try to pet him.
B
Yeah. They're like. I'm like, get away.
A
Get.
B
Oh, there's a ghost. There's a spirit.
A
Scared the out of me.
B
Oh, my gosh.
A
Okay.
B
Holy shit, dude.
A
I've got real dry. I got a real drug. The other weekend, like, we were partying, having a good time, right? And you know where we go for the clubs. And this is a quick story. It's not even like. It's just. It was embarrassing. It goes again to how CJ is A shit friend. So we were going. We were like, where? We go to club at. It's just like one street. You don't have to drive. Yeah. You just walk bar to bar to bar, club to club.
B
Several different spots.
A
So we were bouncing around hidden places. And we go there so often, we're like, everybody knows us.
B
Yeah, you're known. They go, double again. I gotcha. Tabs still open from yesterday. You go. You go, hey, bro.
A
No, somebody said that. Oh, we went to the. We went to the casino in a different state. I walk up to the bar with everybody, and the bartender goes, you're back again. Everybody at the bar, there's like 80 people. They're like, yikes.
B
You literally turned to me. You said, now why would she say that?
A
And I tip her so well too. Oh, man. Anyway.
B
Oh, God.
A
We're walking, right? We're walking to the. To the bar. And I don't know why they still do this. They still ID me. You know me, brother.
B
Yeah.
A
And I look 30.
B
Yeah.
A
I think it's cuz I'm with that little kid. And so we're walking, right? And at this point, it's one of those where you're kind of just. You're floating. No, you just living life. I'm having fun. Right.
B
Vibing. There's no music. There's no music.
A
Yeah. We walk into this bar and I'm talking to cj, right? So I'm not really paying attention to the bouncer that I'm giving the cartoon card to. And they're like, id. I'm reaching for my id, right? And I pull out. I don't even know where it's at. I think I threw it away after that. I pull out a main event game card. I pull out a main event game card and I'm handing it to her like this. And like, I'm. Wait. I'm like this. Hold my hand out, waiting to get it back as I'm talking to CJ. And then CJ's looking at me. Look at her. And I'm like, yeah. And she goes, I don't think this is gonna work. And I said, oh. And there's like a line of eight behind us. And I'm like, they might not let me in here, but it. Jenny wasn't me being like, inebriated. It was just me not focusing. It was quite embarrassing.
B
CJ was arm's length away. Didn't stop you?
A
No. Honestly, he has an expiration date. He's not gonna be here much longer.
B
Bring it to your attention.
A
Yeah, he's elementary.
B
Okay. Bone to pick with you. Something that happened today.
A
Second time you brought something with bone to pick.
B
Bone to pick with you. I think after something I saw today, that if you and me were in a life or death scenario, I'd save you that. That was revolving around diffusing an explosive. Okay.
A
Okay.
B
And for whatever reason, maybe I'm a double amputee. Maybe they have me. Maybe they have me bound. My hands are bound. But it's up to you. I bet everything that we die that you would not get the job done. The pure distraught and chaos of you trying to remove a battery from a remote this morning and put it back in gives me all the information. Hand me that remote. I'm gonna show y'all exact. This man goes, first off, he's trying to touch the screen. He's like, it's not working. He starts doing upside down the sensors toward him. He's like, like. And I go, bro, just slide the back off, pop a battery out, and re. Put it back in. He goes, drops it, grabs the battery.
A
He goes.
B
He goes, what is the plus 1? Battery in his hand. He still tries it for the hell of it. He's like. He goes, like, as it can work on half power. He goes, got. Finally gets it back in. He goes. And it works. And then he just looks at me with a crooked smile. He just goes. He goes. Good call. Good call. It took his six minutes to pause the screen. Six minutes. Okay, what if we had 30 seconds? You had to pick between wires and you never. You have never held bolt cutters in your life ever.
A
That's one thing. It's different in real life than it is in the movies. If there's an explosive and we have to. We have to, like, make sure it doesn't detonate. I don't understand why we wouldn't just pick it up and take it somewhere else. Why do we have to sit next to it and just go, cut this, Cut this rewire. I'm not a mechanic. I don't even know how to change a tire yet.
B
Okay, that's awful. You are absolutely out of your mind. And you have to be joking.
A
Why.
B
Why don't we pick up the bomb and move it?
A
Yeah.
B
Let's start with the first thing. Probably significant weight. Okay, let's. Let's assume it's. It's quite hefty.
A
How to get in there. Then what is it?
B
Is this a. What do you think? I'm thinking it's a huge thing at the base of a tower. Like In Gotham.
A
Why are we there?
B
I don't know why we're in Gotham, but that's where my mind.
A
How did it get in there?
B
It was placed.
A
If it could get pl. If they're forklifted in a goddamn explosive.
B
Hey, what if it's in a crate? It looks like a cute little. Like a canister from Amazon. You open it up, big bomb.
A
Why are we playing with crates?
B
I'm just saying, what if. We have to do it right? Just humor me. We have to save this building. And more importantly, ourselves. Okay.
A
There's a PA System. Hey. Get out.
B
Oh. Everyone else, they can't. Comms are down. No comms. Comms are down.
A
Yeah.
B
But regardless, Wait and stability. Have you ever watched a movie? I know you said it's different, but if you just start shaking an explosive, you think it's a bop it. You sit there and play it. Play with it, tug on it.
A
Well, if I can cut wires and play. And play. What's it called? Hospital man. What's the one where he's laying down? You got to pull the operator.
B
What is it? Operation.
A
Operation.
B
Operation.
A
If I got to sit there and play operation on the goddamn explosive, we're done.
B
You don't have to do anything. There's wires exposed like that.
A
Yes.
B
And you have to either go.
A
Yes.
B
Okay. Just for the sake of this. Let's just see. You're guessing one of these. One of these saves us the other two don't. Which one would you cut?
A
When in doubt, Pixie.
B
Which one, C. That one. I was gonna do the middle. That's clear as day. Look at it. Which one would you.
A
But that seems like the most important one.
B
Exactly. You cut it so it doesn't go off.
A
I thought that would make it go off, dude. Okay, first of all, if we're in a situation where we gotta defuse an explosive. Cam, if you're putting me in charge, that's everybody else's fault.
B
I said, there's a gag in my mouth, my hands are bound, and I'm just like you.
A
You. You.
B
You somehow got me out of the room.
A
Yeah.
B
But now I'm like you go, dude, shut up. Like, give me a second. You're sitting there trying to cut.
A
Why wouldn't I just unbound you?
B
We have 30 seconds.
A
I could cut you in four.
B
You can get me open in four seconds.
A
He gets you open in one. I know what you like.
B
Yeah, you do. Oh, my God.
A
Okay.
B
Oh, yeah. No dexterity.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
That'd be funny, though. No, I think. I think Honestly, hostage situation, we're both in it, hands bound, tied to a chair. But we can speak. I think we'd do good. I think you would lock in quick. Not too many outsiders have seen your serious, like, it's survival time. Time.
A
I'm great.
B
He's like a. He's like a. Like a solid. Like an 8 year old basset hound. Like you hit when you get nervous. You hear a lot of things. Like you, you're.
A
You're like. My sense is like, magnify.
B
Like you can hear from around corners.
A
Yeah.
B
Wall hacks. Yeah, but you, but you would be sitting there and I'd be like, dude, this is really bad. And you're like, they're four floors above us. According to that, we have 25. Like, you turn into like Tom Cruise.
A
That is a fact. Whenever we're in like public situations, I know something like, like there's danger imminent. I can hear something like, well, I'll be like, we'll be at a. We'll be at a nightclub, bro. Loud ass music, strobe lights, smoke. And I'll be like, there's a fight happening. There's about to be a fight. I can hear a shuffle of a foot. And no, that's not a regular step. I'm like, there's about to be a fight over there.
B
That is an advancement on an enemy. You just see a bottle, dude, no. One time when we were at the club. Okay, same club, not gonna say whatever. We were at the very back by like almost outside.
A
Yeah.
B
And he literally. We're sitting there dancing one night, he goes, goes, hey, bro, this bad guy's about to come out of the bathroom. I said, what? He said, just watch. Goes back to dancing. I turn, this dude comes out. He's like bulky and shit. Like he just beat someone up. I'm like, how the hell did you know that? He's like, hey, have fun, bro. Be in the moment. Like, what? Like, what are you talking about? He's like, hey, you want another one? Right?
A
I'm telling you.
B
Oh, my God.
A
Huh?
B
Oh my God.
A
What?
B
It's either nerves or liquor. No one of them turned you to an agent. I don't know which is which.
A
It's anxiety. Well, I use anxiety to fuel me. I could do anything off anxiety. That's my Adderall. I can, I can literally get anything done. When I'm having a panic attack, that's.
B
Look like a power.
A
When I feel like I'm drowning, when I feel like I'm underwater and I can't breathe. Dude, I'll figure the world out, brother. I'll save tick tock. I can do anything, brother. I'm like, that plane's going down. I'm having a panic attack. I'll fly it. I can. No, I can. 100.
B
You'd go in there, you'd be like, dude, I think I just pull up, right? If an engines burning, we have half power. No shit. How do you pull something down? Let's discuss that one. That's a push. Okay, let's pull down.
A
You genuinely don't believe if a plane was going down, I could say that.
B
No shot in hell.
A
You. You just said I'm good whenever I'm under attack, brother.
B
That you're great. Under attack?
A
Yes.
B
Boots on ground. We're in the sky in an aircraft. The only part I lost consciousness behind the wheel. My Kia K5. You wouldn't be able to drive it. You've been on electric for so long. No, I say that all the time.
A
I don't know.
B
I don't know how to drive a gas car anymore.
A
I don't.
B
You think you could get a Boeing on the ground?
A
The only hard part was be. It would be me walking for the first time on a plane in the air. I've never done it, so once I get my footing down, I'm saving everybody. Don't worry.
B
You're like, oh, I got us. You just trip and fall. You go.
A
And they're like, oh. I'm like, what?
B
He was like, you're like, as soon as I get there, people, we're just crawling. You go, are you done with that? The little shooters.
A
I'm like Denzel in that one movie when he was drunk on the plane. He was a pilot.
B
I thought that was Samuel.
A
No, that's racist.
B
A lot of L's.
A
That's misleading.
B
On a plane.
A
Why do you think every black guy in a plane movie is Samuel And Snakes on a Plane?
B
That's the only black guy in a air movie outside of Soul Plane that I've seen. What's wrong with that?
A
That is a.
B
That is a great film. So kill my dog 406 in park. That's a great movie. You should know, Podcast.
A
This episode is brought to you by Unbound Marino.
B
Are you packing for a trip this holiday season?
A
I am.
B
You're tired of paying for all those hefty check bag fees because you're bringing multiple suitcases to fit all your gear.
A
Yes.
B
Well, we recently discovered Unbound Merino, a travel clothing company that is perfect for every traveler in your life.
A
Unbound Marino offers timeless, versatile clothing that will have you looking great in any situation. Their clothing is made of merino wool, which is temper regulating, moisture wicking and most importantly, super comfortable. Unbound makes it simple to pack for short or long trips since their clothes can be worn for weeks without needing a wash. That's my favorite part.
B
With Unbound's versatile pieces, you can go from a plane to outdoor adventures to a swanky dinner without the headache of over packing or needing to change outfits. I'm not gonna lie to you. I have our hoodie on right now, but under it you best believe I'm wearing their amazing simple crewneck shirt. My God, it's soft.
A
Unbounced clothing allows travelers to pack lighters, save on checked baggage fees and spend more time focusing on creating travel memories. Head over to their website unboundmarino.com where new customers can use our code YSK for 15% off their order. Now on to the rest of the episode the you should know podcast. A lot of people have been asking for this guy.
B
Oh boy, oh boy, they have.
A
The YSK family in 2025 has been going through some relationship problems.
B
Tons of them.
A
So if you don't know already, on the Koala club on Patreon, on the Koala prime and Koala royalty tier, we have full uncensored like 35, 45 minute Doct P episodes. Dr. P has his own show and it is absolutely crazy. The secretary over there has lost his mind.
B
Stupid pupils.
A
So what we're gonna do right now is give you one case study from the newest Dr. P episode over on the Patreon. If you want to see the full version of that, which like 35, 40 minutes and completely, and I mean completely uncensored, go over to the Koala Club. Enjoy that. Now let's. Let's give these people some love advice.
B
We should sire the you should know podcast. Pupil one, yes. Are you ready?
A
I am.
B
Speed and efficiency. Pupil two, are you ready?
A
Yes.
B
Speed and efficiency, sire. Your highness always ready.
A
Don't even ask me.
B
That's correct. No, sire. Siren.
A
I watched the goddamn film.
B
Right.
A
I saw what you did that last episode.
B
Yes, sir.
A
I saw you making those goddamn faces.
B
Yes, sir.
A
You wonder where your dog went?
B
I'm so. Where'd she go? I miss my dog. She keeps me sane. I miss my dog.
A
She's on a bus to Guadalajara right now.
B
I need her back.
A
Look, Lord, you make those faces again.
B
Yes, sir.
A
She's not the only thing going to go out of Lahara.
B
Okay, I'm Sorry, Lord. That's my couch. A lot of creeks.
A
Now I want you to read this next one with both eyes closed.
B
Yes.
A
Close them.
B
Can I get that? Can I get. Can I get that? Fast. S. Can I get that? I didn't do a face. Oh, are you yelling?
A
Oh my God.
B
I'm sorry.
A
Don't have to do that again.
B
I'm so. I'm so. I'm tasting blood.
A
Both eyes closed. Both eyes closed. And close one ear. The left one.
B
Okay. Permission. Can I get a quick scout to where I can try like a two second read. Quick.
A
Yep. I'm a counter. 1, 1000, 2, 1000. Close left ear closed.
B
People. 1 and 2. Ready?
A
Yes.
B
Speed and efficiency. Speed and efficiency. Pupils.
A
Close them harder.
B
Set. Starting to get a headache. Dear Dr. P. Hello. Me, me and my husband. Oh, me, me and my boyfriend, we've been dating for three years.
A
Nice.
B
And I, we've been. We've talked about. I've got it. Here we go. I've got it. Me and my boyfriend. I've got it. Here we go. Dear Dr. P. Me and. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for three years.
A
Nice.
B
We. We. Oh, we've talked about marriage before.
A
Yes.
B
Every time we see I seem to bring up marriage, he gets quiet and angry.
A
Nice.
B
Now, I've seen on his social medias and in real life he constantly checks out other women, other girls.
A
Hide.
B
See now the question was you may.
A
Open one eye for the question.
B
The question was constantly. I want to marry him, but he keeps pushing it back. What should I do?
A
Stay like that.
B
Yes, sir. Pupil one. Speed and efficiency.
A
May I speak? Yes.
B
Spoke.
A
You don't grant permission?
B
Yep. Sorry, sir, sire, Sorry, Lord. We'll try that again.
A
May I speak?
B
Did you just. Will try.
A
You will try. You sit there and do what we say. What I say. I tell him what he you. He says stupid.
B
Go.
A
We could put it in short terms that that's not your boyfriend anymore. We're going to be honest with you. I mean, checking out other girls, avoiding marriage, you know, there could be a reason behind it. Maybe just not ready for it. But if he's checking out other girls. That ain't. That's not. That's not.
B
No.
A
That ain't your. That ain't your boyfriend. I think it's time to start searching for somebody new. And the synopsis people too.
B
May I speak?
A
Good. Yes. Okay.
B
So in this situation, he clearly is not into you anymore. He may have been the first three years. And you keep asking about marriage and he says no. So he's not ready to. To get serious.
A
Right.
B
He never will be.
A
Yeah.
B
Because three years is a long time depend. And so I would say bring it up one more time. And if he says no again?
A
Deuces. Deuces. How do you feel about deuces?
B
What does one mean by deuces? Does you think Deuces stands in the court of law? Deuces. What is the name of tattoo shop? What the. Deuces.
A
I had a friend named Deuce incarcerated.
B
I had a stupid blind dog named Deuce.
A
Did you?
B
No.
A
Can you explain to Dr. P and Secretary Cam your lingo? What does deuces mean?
B
Deuces.
A
You know, you said that as in leave, get out.
B
Bye, bye, Sayonara.
A
You're about to get a Deuces.
B
My face feels like it ran a marathon.
A
You can switch ears now. Synopsis.
B
Dude, I need to switch eyes. This eye is getting quite tense, sire. It's. I mean, my face is cramping. Lord. My face is hurting. Okay. Oh, God.
A
Hey, hey. Sit on that other hand.
B
God.
A
So, people 1. I like your synopsis. Right. A little too long.
B
I'm going through it. Lord. I'm going through it. I think the new eye has something stuck in it and I can't open it. I think it's something. A small shop. I can't open my eye.
A
Permission to open.
B
Much better. Gracious one.
A
You can keep your.
B
Oh, I'm about to blow up.
A
You can keep your eyes open and your ears open. You must sit on both hands.
B
Deal.
A
It's not really a deal. It's more of a demand.
B
Correct.
A
So, people one. Good synopsis. Right? Good synopsis. Not correct, though. That is still her boyfriend. That is still her boyfriend. I feel like you were in the right ballpark. You just didn't hit the ball.
B
Wrong ticket.
A
I like that. You went to a different game.
B
Yeah.
A
Wrong game.
B
Yeah. When you went to Wednesday. You're supposed to be a Friday.
A
Yeah. Yeah. You kind of teetered off there at the end. A lot of. You know what? You like the light.
B
Yeah.
A
Precise. Right. What do you like to say?
B
Don't do it. Speed and efficiency.
A
Efficiency. That's not efficiency.
B
It's not speed neither.
A
Since you're all right, I'm gonna give that a 5 flat.
B
That's a great school.
A
People too.
B
Horrible. Sorry, Lord.
A
People too. This is a top of the world office, right? For love. Right? Everybody wants to be here. Everybody loves it here. Everybody wants to be in your position.
B
Why the is he laughing?
A
He's looking at you. You're doing something behind my back.
B
I've done absolutely nothing. Did you just speak out of turn?
A
You're out of turn. This belt. This belt is bisexual.
B
Wasn't speak. He was not speaking to you, so shut up. Are your hands numb? No. So be gracious for it. Use them to cover your stupid mouth. If it's that hard to be quiet.
A
I like that people, too. I don't like your lingo. I don't like where you just went with this. Right.
B
I am not making a face, Sire Lord. I do not. Are you thinking you're talking to.
A
He's lying, sir. You speak again, you're gonna have to sit under that chair. It's gonna rest on your body. Don't like the Deuces. I don't like the Deuces. I don't like. What else did he say? He said something about, oh, three years is a long time. It's all subjective. Way too definite. You don't know their situation. Hell, you don't know their situation. You're being way too definite with their situation. Ended with the deuces. 3.1. Now, my synopsis. This is why I'm the best love doctor. I say things people wouldn't even think about. How do I look?
B
Get it, girl. You look good. You look good.
A
Now your boyfriend's liking IG pics of other girls. Your boyfriend is getting angry when you bring up marriage. Pushing it back, pushing it back, pushing it back. How is he pushing it back? Figure out a way to put those back on your face.
B
I still don't have permission to use my hands. I don't think I can bend like that, sire. Maybe I can. Up in the eye. Him in the sky. Catch him with my skull. Oh, no. Head start. Wait, wait. Oh, wait. It's. I'm gonna have a real hard time.
A
You can put them all after my synopsis.
B
Brilliant.
A
Your boyfriend's liking other girls. IG pictures. Your boyfriend is pushing back marriage. He doesn't like it. He doesn't want it. Right. He's making you feel bad. And instead, look at that curtain. Go look at the curtain. And if you turn your head over here, and instead of being sad and in your feelings and worried about, is he ever going to love me? You know what you do? You do the same thing ten times worse. You don't just like other Instagram pictures. You comment on them. You leave some diamonds. Something inconspicuous. It's a big word for Dr. P. And then you know what you do? You hit up one of his friends. You start Texting one of the old friends and as soon as he brings that up, be like, oh, no, no. Oh, no, no. It's the same thing as your Instagram liking thing. You one up it. See how he likes it after that. I bet he'll want to marry you when he. When you, when he sees you. I bet he want to marry you. I bet he. I bet he wants to marry you. Is there a problem? I bet he wants to marry you when he sees you. A little spoon with the, with the, with your, with your trainer at the gym. When he. When there's 245 of silverback gorilla on your back end watching the Notebook. I bet I want to put a ring on it then. That's my synopsis. You may put your glasses back on. Oh, my goodness. I said you can look this way.
B
Okay. First off, people wanted to join me collectively. Beautiful synopsis, beautiful synopsis.
A
Thank you. Thank you.
B
Brilliant Lord.
A
Thank you. You should know podcast, I told y'all, it is absolutely wild over there on the Quality Club.
B
Unhinged.
A
If you want the full version of that uncensored, go over to the Quality Club. I'm telling you, it's one of the Quality Club's favorite pieces of content we put out. There we go. I mean, he's in it, so that's why I would say that. But that was a fantastic, fantastic episode.
B
Fantastic, Bubba.
A
Free thugger. He is free. He's free.
B
No, I was just reading, though. Okay, so you're not allowed to wear that anymore.
A
Yeah, it was a get us out of here cam.
B
Thank you so, so, so, so, so, so, so much. Coming back to another fantastic week of the you should know podcast. You already know. We absolutely love you. Like the amazing and beautiful and sexy and wilderness looking. Like uncle P said Dr. P. So many other things and so much more to come is right here. First link in the description. At the Koala Club, it's been going crazy. We told you. There's so many new things in 2025. There's a whole new structure. Everyone is loving it so far. So right here, first link in the description. Join the Koala Club. There's three tiers for you to pick from with all sorts of stuff. Everything else is linked as well. We got the Twitch, the Facebook, the Discord, the Instagram. Everything you need to know is in the description. Leave a comment like subscribe. Send it to your mom, your best friend, your old school teacher, and your worst enemy. Send it to everybody. We are in 2025. We are on the road to hitting a million very, very soon. And we want you to be there when it happens. But until the meantime, confuse the casuals. Get your good karma with this week's secret code. Mvn. Take a guess.
A
Must vacuum everything.
B
What? Mvn.
A
Oh. Must vacuum nothing.
B
You're getting close. Morning versus night. When do you shower? When is it acceptable morning versus night? If we pull the crowd, they go neither. Neither?
A
We swim.
B
And we swam here.
A
Careful. Okay, till next time. We love you. Subscribe. Make your friends subscribe. And make your grandma subscribe. We love you. Remember, one out of ten koala bears don't make it home to Christmas. And we will see you next time.
B
No, I will shower tonight. I've sweat.
A
He needs to. I've seen that butt crack.
You Should Know Podcast Episode Summary: "MY FREAKIEST DOCTOR VISIT!"
Podcast Information:
In Episode 148 of the You Should Know Podcast, hosts Peyton Hardin and Cameron Kennedy dive into the hilariously uncomfortable experiences they've had during doctor visits. True to their style, the duo seamlessly blends personal anecdotes with spirited banter, offering listeners both laughter and relatable moments.
One of the standout segments of the episode revolves around a heated debate about the best time to shower—morning versus night. This discussion serves as a metaphor for deeper personal habits and preferences, highlighting the playful tension between Peyton and Cameron.
Cameron counters Peyton's stance by defending his nighttime shower routine, emphasizing practicality and personal hygiene:
The debate escalates with both hosts making light-hearted jabs at each other's hygiene habits, showcasing their chemistry and ability to engage in friendly conflict.
Throughout the episode, Peyton and Cameron share various personal stories that contribute to the overarching theme of "freakiest doctor visits."
A significant portion of their conversation touches on unusual behaviors exhibited by their dog, Ruby, hinting at underlying family dynamics and personal challenges.
Their discussions about Ruby's antics provide comedic relief while subtly addressing concerns about changes in their household.
Peyton recounts a troubling experience involving a suspicious email requesting a $2,000 donation to a church he doesn't recognize.
This segment delves into themes of trust, financial security, and the importance of vigilance against scams, all wrapped in their signature humorous delivery.
In a creative twist, Peyton and Cameron engage in a mock roleplay session acting as Dr. P, providing relationship advice to fictional listeners. This interactive segment allows them to explore relationship dynamics humorously.
Through exaggerated scenarios, they offer tongue-in-cheek solutions to common relationship problems, reinforcing the episode's theme through entertainment.
Throughout the episode, several memorable quotes highlight the hosts' comedic timing and rapport:
These quotes encapsulate the humor and candidness that define the podcast.
Episode 148 of the You Should Know Podcast masterfully blends personal anecdotes, humorous debates, and creative roleplays to explore the theme of "freakiest doctor visits." Peyton and Cameron's dynamic interplay not only entertains but also offers listeners relatable insights into everyday life challenges. Their ability to maintain a balance between humor and sincerity makes this episode a standout in their series.
Key Takeaways:
For those seeking an entertaining and genuine podcast experience, Episode 148 of the You Should Know Podcast is a must-listen, offering laughter, camaraderie, and a glimpse into the hosts' personal lives.