THE EXTREME BEST FRIEND TEST! -You Should Know Podcast-

Summary

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You Should Know Podcast – THE EXTREME BEST FRIEND TEST!

Episode 226 | July 20, 2026 Hosts: Peyton Hardin & Cameron Kennedy

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Overview

In this raucous and personal episode, Peyton and Cam return from DreamCon, still nursing physical (and emotional) injuries from the event's charity basketball game. Between earnest, revealing, and at times hysterical conversations, the duo takes each other through the "Extreme Best Friend Test" by digging into embarrassing moments, personal secrets, and spontaneous quizzes. The episode is packed with their signature blend of chaotic story-sharing, affectionate ribbing, reflections on friendship, and some truly wild tangents—from locker room awkwardness to the nature of aphrodisiacs and the misinformation around water towers. All the while, they test just how well they really know (and can tolerate) each other.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. DreamCon Recap: Injury, Embarrassment & Locker Room Fumbles

• Physical Toll of DreamCon: Both hosts discuss being battered from the basketball charity game (02:22). Peyton jokes, "My whole left side of my body... it's not working at all."
• Peyton’s One-Point Game: Peyton brags about scoring his lone point, having predicted he’d score zero (06:40).
• On Not Being the Star: Both agree they’re “role players” and have never “needed to be the MVP” (07:02).

  "Neither one of us have ever needed to be the star." – Cam (07:03)

• Locker Room Social Anxiety (08:58–15:19): Peyton recounts being ignored 13 times trying to insert himself into streamer banter. His awkwardness even moves Ben's security guard to comfort him.

  "I counted how many times I tried to insert myself in a joke... Oh, it was 13. I got ignored 13 times in a row." – Peyton (11:39)

Memorable Quote

"The nicest way to call you a fat alcoholic." – Cam, recounting Mark Phillips' intervention at DreamCon (08:04)

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2. The Breakfast Encounter: Deepest Darkest Fears with a Stranger

• The duo run into an older woman at a Houston brunch spot who, after learning they're podcasters, immediately asks, “What’s your deepest, darkest fear?” (17:57)
• Cam tries to answer wholesomely, while Peyton completely “bails out” (18:47).

  "This woman’s third question to strangers: yeah, what’s going on in the city? Who are you? What’s your deepest, darkest fear?" – Peyton (18:25)

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3. Slap Fridays: A Chaotic Retrospective

• Peyton reminisces about middle school "Slap Fridays," initially believing it to be boys-only horseplay, only to find out it was more disturbing in hindsight (22:37–24:00).
• Cam confesses to slapping a crush’s butt for 75 consecutive days—permission unclear—offering a bizarre glimpse into puberty-era etiquette (24:31–26:18).

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4. Fourth of July Math Fail

• Peyton is confused by “America 250” math, mistakenly arguing the U.S. should be older based on independence and slavery timelines (27:14–29:13).
• Cam helps him through the arithmetic, resulting in mutual humiliation and laughter.

Memorable Moment

"1776 plus 250, sweetheart, would be right now. ... Welcome to Earth." – Cam (28:11–28:32)

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5. Aphrodisiac Quiz: The Ultimate Knowledge Gap

• Peyton, believing “aphrodisiac” means an ancient relic, is shocked to learn it denotes libido-boosting foods (40:03–41:48).
• Cam quizzes Peyton on actual aphrodisiacs; highlights include:
  • Oysters (Aphrodisiac)
  • Passion fruit (not)
  • Coffee (aphrodisiac)
  • Cinnamon (aphrodisiac)
  • White chocolate (not) (43:13–45:58)
• The rationale Peyton uses is consistently absurd, e.g., relating the cinnamon challenge to being choked.

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6. Unfiltered Friendship: Bodily TMI & the Essence of Bros

• The hosts spiral into a brutally honest discussion of their own body hair, navel comparisons, and “recreationally” being nude in shared hotel space—including exposing themselves (inadvertently) to the Houston skyline, thanks to Peyton opening Cam’s blinds (30:17–34:45).

  "I am butt naked, flaccid... and I turn around, and the city of Houston is outside my window." – Cam (32:50)

• Exchanges follow about sending each other (and partners) pictures of their butts, with declarations like:

  "I've sent some of the booty pics that you sent me to my girlfriend." – Peyton (34:45)

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7. Bizarre Tangents: Water Towers, Cereal, & Childhood

• Debate erupts on whether water towers serve a real purpose or are “propaganda” (52:00–54:56).

  “I've never fully understood a water tower. ... Water towers are not real. Oh, water towers are conspiracy.” – Cam & Peyton (54:52–55:22)

• Equally passionate, they argue if Cookie Crisp cereal changed the world (50:07–52:04).

  "Cookie Crisp is an elite cereal... took over a generation." – Peyton (50:25)

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8. Best Friend Test: Billionaires, Secrets, and What Would Break Them

• Would Cam forgive Peyton for secretly being a billionaire? Not if he kept it secret.
• Would Cam be more upset finding out Peyton had a kid he never mentioned, or being left out of his fortune? Shockingly, the child would be the bigger betrayal (69:11–71:21).

  "If you had a human being that came from your nuts right now, I would never talk to you again if you had a kid and I was not privy at all." – Cam (69:32)

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Notable Quotes & Moments With Timestamps

• On locker room isolation (11:39):
  • Peyton: "I counted how many times I tried to insert myself in a joke... Oh, it was 13. I got ignored 13 times in a row."
• On being called out for old 'chunkiness' (07:31):
  • Peyton: "He was a little harder for you to get up and down the court. I was like, oh, yeah... Nah, you were chunky."
• On aphrodisiacs (41:48):
  • Cam (reading): "An aphrodisiac is any substance, such as food, drink, or medication, that arouses and increases sexual desire, pleasure, or performance..."
• On Cam’s public nudity scare (32:50):
  • Cam: "I am butt naked, flaccid... and I turn around, and the city of Houston is outside my window."
• On betraying the best friend code (69:32):
  • Cam: "If you had a human being that came from your nuts right now, I would never talk to you again..."

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• [02:22] DreamCon injuries and recap begins
• [06:40] Peyton’s basketball performance
• [08:58–15:19] Locker room/streamer awkwardness and attempts at banter
• [17:57–18:53] Houston brunch and stranger’s “deepest fear” question
• [22:37–26:18] Slap Fridays and puberty-era misadventures
• [27:14–29:13] The 250th “math fail”
• [41:48–45:00] Aphrodisiac discovery and quiz
• [50:07–54:56] Water tower conspiracy tangent
• [69:11–71:21] Best friend test – billionaire/secret child scenarios

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Tone and Style

As always, the podcast’s energy is absolutely off the rails—irreverent, hilarious, crude, and imbued with genuine affection. Peyton and Cam riff in the way only true best friends can, mixing insults, confessions, and silly debates with the sort of unfiltered heart rarely found in public forums.

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In short:
This episode is a perfect entry point for new listeners seeking unvarnished bromance and laugh-out-loud stories, as well as a celebration of the comfort and chaos that comes from knowing someone long enough to mercilessly roast, embarrass, and forgive them—live on air.

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Transcript

[A]

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[A]

The YOU SHOULD Know podcast hey everybody. Welcome back to the you should know podcast. Episode 226 we got CU scam back in the studio.

[B]

Break the walls down and.

[A]

No, no, no. I can confirm that you have done that one before.

[B]

I can confirm I've done a little Y2K. Look at this, Jerry. Break the wall.

[A]

Good morning. How are we feeling?

[B]

You said break the wall.

[A]

Dude.

[B]

Squeak.

[A]

Hey, let's break the fourth wall.

[B]

Break the fourth wall. Down, down, down, down, down.

[A]

We just got off a plane from Dreamcon.

[B]

No. Yeah, 100%.

[A]

Me and Cam are injured.

[B]

Oh, my body's in agony. My body is in agony.

[A]

We've been. My whole left side of my body, it's not working at all. I'm not going to lie.

[B]

J J J Dub hurts people on the court.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's a strange thing.

[A]

Can I say J Dub is a sexy guy. Like, you know what? We're not doing that yet. But I'm just want to say we came back from DreamCon. We're in the DreamCon basketball charity game. We will talk about that. And normally on the Patreon exclusive that we put out every Wednesday, we talk about it more. But this Patreon that's coming out this Wednesday is finally. We're putting out the episode we did with Netflix comedian Nate Jackson.

[B]

Yeah, we are. We film that big Nate in the cut.

[A]

So funny.

[B]

Like, oh, my God.

[A]

3. We're not comedians, but like, we make jokes. He's actual comedians, but like us bouncing off of each other. It was so inappropriate.

[B]

High levels of inappropriateness. If you want to see that and you're not in the koala club, you know where to go. It's that second link click.

[A]

Can I tell? Okay, you haven't. This is the first time we've. Like, as soon as I walked in here, we started recording. So you haven't seen my outfit yet.

[B]

Yes, I know. I kind of like it. I like. I like the shirt.

[A]

Do you like this,

[B]

Peyton? What?

[A]

This is my new crop top.

[B]

Holy. Holy crop. Stand up again. That is a dip.

[A]

This is his arms down.

[B]

You're an old running back for the cowboys. That is. That's like practice jersey. That's a little Zeke vibe.

[A]

Like, I like how it's like a trail straight. Like it.

[B]

So much hair. Mind you. So much you. I've never met a man. I've never met a man. Crazy stance.

[A]

Wait, you got something. You got a hit. What happened?

[B]

Get a little bit of that. There was so like little in the top of your pant. Like, if this is your. You said get a little. That your pants went. It was like. It was like 4 inch gap. Said get a little. That so little.

[A]

That's. You know, during Dreamcon.

[B]

Lost some. You've lost some.

[A]

Dude, RDC world told me my got smaller. Dude. RDC world told me that my butt got little.

[B]

Meanwhile, I'm still rocking. I'm dragging a wagon. Shake that I'm sweaty, fat, and I'm in pain. Anyway, dude.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, your shirt sucks. No, I take it back.

[A]

No, it is a. It is. I love the super crop Tea and Sarah. Sarah, like, she's back there. And she came to the studio today.

[B]

She did. Hello, sir.

[A]

And as we were walking out, she goes, babe, I'm not comfortable watching you like that. And I hurt my feelings as a Man. But I told her I was like, there's gonna be women out there that are gonna swoon. Overseeing my navel.

[B]

Lot of swooning women. And can I just say, you brought up your navel, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Genuinely. And I mean this as your lover. I've never met another man that has equal hair on his navel that he does on the tuft.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Never seen that.

[A]

I'm rocking bush right now.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

I'm not gonna do. Sometimes I like to just get a good bush going.

[B]

You're hairy, isn't it?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

I'm just a hairy guy. I know it looks like if I'm naked. If I'm naked, it looks like I'm wearing pants.

[B]

So it's like it. You see me, it's like you have ants all over your body.

[A]

Because, like, it's. It's really weird. Like, here. I'm so sorry, but, like, right here.

[B]

So cropped. Like, that is so cropped.

[A]

Like, look right here.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's no hair up here.

[B]

There's not. I mean, it' hard end.

[A]

It starts right here, and it just, like, it takes over everything else. It's bad, bro. Like, I have a. Like, I'm like a. Like a caveman.

[B]

Oh. Oh, very much.

[A]

I would have survived in the bcs, man.

[B]

Oh, you would have thrived. You've been the leader. You'd have been the leader of the.

[A]

Careful. I'd have been the leader of the monkey truck.

[B]

That's not the monkeys. I didn't say. I said you would have been a leader. I didn't go. You would have been the leader. No, I said, you would have been the leader of the fire.

[A]

You see the resemblance there, don't you?

[B]

Now I understand. I understand the whole evolution thing.

[A]

Do we get a little bit of Dream Con recap? Since we're not gonna have one on the Patreon, I think. I think it's only right. The highlights. Okay, so we played in the. In the charity basketball game. My team won. Team mark. I'm undefeated in dreamcon.

[B]

I had one point.

[A]

I had one point. I told everybody I was gonna have zero. I had one point.

[B]

Overachiever. Always have been.

[A]

I've never been. Even in my highest of highs of basketball, I've never been in there to score. That's never been my thing. I don't look to score. I don't care to score. I don't want to score. I'm in there to make sure things go right. And that's what I did. I made sure to get that W.

[B]

And that's why we get picked up four years in a row.

[A]

100%.

[B]

Neither one of us have ever needed to be the star. No, I don't need to be the mvp. I'm gonna play my role.

[A]

No, but. So I was sitting on the bench, and Mark Phillips came up to me, bro. And Ippy. And they came up and if he's a part of rdc. And they were like, hey, man, Pete, how are you feeling, man? We're so glad that you can come back to the game. And I said, yeah, bro, I'm feeling good. And he goes, yeah, dude, last year was a little rough for you, wasn't it?

[B]

You go, hey, man, I'm never just really out here to score 30. I'm doing my best.

[A]

I go, what?

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

He was like. He was a little harder for you to get up and down the court. I was like, oh, yeah. I was like, no, he didn't. I was like, yeah. I mean, yeah, I put on some pounds last year. And he goes, nah, you were chunky.

[B]

I'm sorry. I'm not trying to lie. I'm not trying to laugh. I'm not agreeing. I'm not agreeing.

[A]

And then I was like, yeah, man, I was. I was drinking a lot. And he goes, yeah, man, so glad that you're staying healthy, bro. You needed it.

[B]

You needed it. You needed it. Like, the nicest way to call you

[A]

a fat alcoholic, that means to say, like, you, like, we were.

[B]

They were. That's crazy. The fact that they both have your literal cell phone number, apparently, for a year. Yeah, you were cooking. Oh, you need to be helped. I'm so glad you're here with us.

[A]

I've known Mark Phillips since I was,

[B]

like, 6 years old, and the fact

[A]

that he said that to me on a bench during a national broadcast, I went in there, and I was there, like, I was, like, sucking in my stomach, walking around. What are we doing? And that's not where the dreamcon embarrassment ends. You don't know this because we were on different teams.

[B]

Yes. So we were on different teams. So two years ago, we were on different teams. But. But it was a big, conjoined locker room. It was a big conjoined locker room. So, like, everybody was kind of vibing right now. Then the next year, we were on the same team, and now we're here. Different teams, different locker rooms, dude. I didn't see any of his pregame semantics any of that. I didn't see anything.

[A]

I was so embarrassed during the dreamcon

[B]

basketball game, dude, you got me. Just.

[A]

I never want to be on anybody's live stream ever again. So I don't know if you know, but I was on the team with Ben Dadon. Yeah, you're one of the. The funniest guys on the Internet. He's a huge streamer, right. I'm a fan of him. Right. And he's liked a couple of our. Our clips on Instagram. He's like the couple of our clips on Instagram. And I know he did, so I

[B]

know you know me.

[A]

I. I know you know me, bro. Yeah,

[B]

man.

[A]

And so I'm like, I. I don't do well when I'm away from Cam, but I know Cam would want me to really flourish in these kind of environments.

[B]

There we go.

[A]

Try to talk to people.

[B]

There we go.

[A]

So it's hard to just talk to these people because they're on stream. Like, Ben was on stream the whole time.

[B]

20,000 souls. Yeah. Hey, what's up, Ben? He goes, hey, fuck out of here.

[A]

Well, oh, no. Ben was a really nice guy.

[B]

He was right.

[A]

Everybody was really nice. So it was like, who else? Ty Leo. So Ty Leo, and Ben were on my team, and they're on a stream at the same time.

[B]

Tyll called you sexy.

[A]

Let's just put that he did call me hot. And then at the time, I didn't know because I was like, I'll kiss you in the mouth right now. I didn't know if I should take it further or reel back. See, I don't know how to perform if you're not around.

[B]

It's okay. It's okay. We're working.

[A]

So as I was alone in that locker room with these two live streaming men that I'm a fan of. Yes. I was thinking of you, and I was like, what would Cam want me to do? He would want me to fix my posture.

[B]

There we go. Big step one. I mean, you're always like this, like, sup, Ben? Hey, man, get ready. Gonna have a great ball game tonight, Ben. Great game tonight, Ben. Oh, what'd you say? Yeah, no problem, man. Let's do it. Let's f up, man.

[A]

Ken would be like, I want you to fix your posture, and I want you to talk to people.

[B]

Yes, sir.

[A]

So that was what I was going to do. And then Duke Dennis walks in.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

Third stream is going. So I got Duke, Bin the Don, and Ty Lil all streaming, and they're all sitting by me, so I can't avoid these cameras. But I'm like, okay, I got to talk. Cam would want me to talk.

[B]

So they. They start. I'm so afraid. I am so afraid. What leaves your mouth?

[A]

They start making jokes, right? They're bantering.

[B]

Oh, my God. I can see you trying to, like, fake laugh. They go. You're like. That's what happened in the fact that

[A]

y' all can pull up these streams right now. Cam, I counted in my head. I counted. You pull up these streams right now. I counted how many times I tried to insert myself in a joke.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Oh, it was 13. I got ignored 13 times in a row.

[B]

I thought you were gonna say, like, 6K.

[A]

There was a point in time I was like, am I muted?

[B]

Am I alive? You go, hey, Duke. You scream, do you see me?

[A]

So they were making jokes. I'm sitting right next to Ben, and Ben's funny as hell. So he was making jokes. And so somebody would come in the locker room, and he would make fun of their shoes. I'd be like, bro, those shoes are insane. No one would say anything. And I thought, okay, miss that one. Someone else would come. There was, like, this kid that looked like 4 years old, but apparently he's 17, walked into the thing, and they're like. And Ben said, man, who's this baby grown man? And I said, yeah, dude, he's so small,

[B]

They didn't even look at me. Bro, your luck. Your luck. Say that was, like, the 13th one. You tried to switch it up. And that same little guy walks in. You go. You, like, turn Rude. Yeah, who's this short? And they all turn. They go, bro, what's your deal?

[A]

That would have felt better, honestly. And then we came in at halftime, and I was like, try again. I'm already 7 in of getting ignored. They're coming in, and they're starting to talk about basketball, but they're funny. So they're making, like, jokes about. But, like, they're mixing in serious with jokes. I'm like, I'm trying to find my lane.

[B]

Wild, suppressive.

[A]

Yeah. I was playing hopscotch with the stream or double dutch? I was double dutch in the stream. I was like, all right, it's my time to jump into this joke.

[B]

Here we go.

[A]

So they're talking about strategy, and I know basketball, and I. And I thought I was funny.

[B]

Easy in.

[A]

So I said they were talking about some defensive scheme. And I was like, yeah, don't worry about Cam, though. His hips hurt. And they're. They're somebody, like, chat, chat. What are we doing? Chat, chat, chat, chat. What are we doing? Chat, chat. I may appreciate the 50 gifted. They were just calling out subs while I was trying to get myself in there, bro, it got so bad. I'm in this here because you can pull this. I'm not lying. You can pull this up. It got so bad. Ben's security guard behind the camera went like this to me.

[B]

I'm not doing all right. I'm not doing okay. I'm way too hot already. I'm way too hot.

[A]

This is the hottest the studio's ever been.

[B]

Way too hot. 10 minutes in. Oh, Peyton. First off, if y' all don't understand, security guards don't. They don't speak.

[A]

They don't speak.

[B]

They do. It's like. It's like they hire mutes.

[A]

The meanest people.

[B]

For a security guard to look at another creator that's in the same event as his creator and go, hey, bro, you're all right, man. Hey, Next time. That is. That is absolutely insane.

[A]

And I get. Ben could have seen a couple clips and not known me and, like, doesn't know how to bounce off me. Oh, I've known Duke for years, Mark, for my whole life. The fact that no one saved me from drowning water.

[B]

Oh, my God, dude.

[A]

Yeah, no, it was bad. It was really.

[B]

Oh, my God, dude. I would. I would physically real life pay money to go back and watch that, like, fly on the wall.

[A]

You can go to the. There's three ways to watch it. There's three lives.

[B]

Been to Dawn, Duke, Tyler.

[A]

It's all in there. It's all in there.

[B]

Can someone please clip those?

[A]

No. There's going to be a compilation on Tick Tock right now of all the. The miss jokes from Peyton Harden. It's. It's.

[B]

Don't worry about Kevin's hips hurt.

[A]

Chat.

[B]

What are we doing? Chat, chat. Where we at? No, they go like this, too. They go, chat, chat.

[A]

Where we at? That's what Ben did. His phone was locked. He was looking at his lock screen, which was him

[B]

as it should be King, Dude. No.

[A]

I said, oh, is that the ovo? Hey, I stuffed my chains.

[B]

Awesome. Ben, your chains are awesome. You go, I'm gonna go out to the court.

[A]

You just dipped at one point, I was in the locker like, oh, man.

[B]

Oh, my God. I feel so bad, but I love you for that.

[A]

Oh, my God. That's a drink. We'll talk. We have more housing. You have a Houston story, right?

[B]

Oh, my God. No, I. I have to. I have to tell two. At least two moments from Houston. I'll make them quick.

[A]

Was I there?

[B]

The breakfast, breakfast. The breakfast conversation.

[A]

You got to remind me what happened.

[B]

We go to breakfast. This is the day of the game. We're like, okay, we need to just chill till the game. Let's go hit a little brunch spot. We go, first off, 20 minute wait. Okay, no problem. During this 20 minute wait, we walk around the little. The little table and we're just sitting like a couch. We're literally just sitting, talking, dooming with each other. And this woman, probably. You remember what I'm talking about, right?

[A]

I'm still lost. I don't know who we're talking about.

[B]

Woman at breakfast with the craziest conversation.

[A]

Oh, yes, the one that asked me that question.

[B]

Oh, my God. So this woman, she's probably, what, 50s?

[A]

50s? Yeah, but she was also, you know.

[B]

Yeah. Anyway, she's in her 50s and she's sitting there, right? And me and P. Were just vibing and a couple fans come up, ask for a picture. So of course, let's do it. We take it. We sit back down. So now this woman feels every right. Oh, excuse me, sir, excuse me. Two things. Who are you and what's going on in the city? What's going on in the city?

[A]

Why are there so many blacks running around in animation costumes?

[B]

Yeah, that type of woman if you pick up what we're putting down. So we explained to her, right? We go, oh, well, first off, the city is just flooded because there's this thing called dreamcon. It's this huge event. It's sick.

[A]

It's awesome, right?

[B]

She goes, okay, cool, Cool. A lot of black people now. What do y' all do? We go, oh, we have a podcast. Oh, is it about, like, sports or what is it? Oh, no, I mean, we're in it. We're just a bunch of idiots. Like, you know, we just, you know, riff with each other, debate, tell stories. Very lighthearted.

[A]

I was like. I was like, yeah, we just like to get people's mind off things. Just really try to bring the light hearted to the world.

[B]

Hour, hour and a half a week to just laugh. She goes, oh, oh, that's incredible. What's your deepest darkest fear? And I'm not, I am not kidding.

[A]

Not knowing the slightest, no exaggeration at all. Literally, off of that was the whole conversation.

[B]

This woman's third question to strangers. Yeah, what's going on in the city? Who are you? What's your deepest, darkest fear?

[A]

You would never have heard a harder swallow for me in my life.

[B]

Peyton was literally in the middle of a drink. He said, what And I said, what was that? She goes, yeah. Your deepest, darkest fear. What keeps you up at night? We literally looked at each other, probably, mind you, we're 10ft away from this woman. We did not give her the time of day until we understood, like, is this actually happening? We literally were like.

[A]

And, Cam, I hate to say it, in those moments, I completely. I bail out. I know it's fully on you now. You should know that I'm out at that situation.

[B]

So then I gave a somewhat wholesome. I wanted to kind of, like, pull her leg, but I was like, I'll go wholesome. I'm like, man, I don't know. Just state of the world for my kids maybe in 20, 25 years. Just, you know, fear the unknown. She goes, oh, man. Wow. Isn't that beautiful? Now, what can you do to get him out of that dark time? And I said, who are like, what the. Is it? What's happening right now?

[A]

I'm over eggs Benedict right now.

[B]

I'm waiting to get a table for brunch. What are you doing? And then you could tell she's with, presumably, her son, and her son's like this.

[A]

No way. No way. That was a. That was a business partner. Absolutely.

[B]

Her son.

[A]

No, absolutely. That was a Latino man.

[B]

She.

[A]

That's a white woman.

[B]

If you. If you were at brunch with your father, they'd say, oh, I can't be a son.

[A]

I look like my dad.

[B]

He's what? We know them for six minutes. We didn't study their structure. The hell?

[A]

You don't do that. What? You don't play that game with strangers. Are they or family?

[B]

You don't do that. I've never played are they or family ever in my life. It's a pretty. It's a pretty quick radar for me. I go, oh, that's. Or, oh, that's blood. It's that quick. I don't go, ah, well.

[A]

Well, the people at the breakfast. I was our family. And that's more than family.

[B]

The deepest, darkest question is more than family.

[A]

Yes. That's a business trip. They. They get to it.

[B]

He was, like, 26.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. No, he wasn't.

[B]

No, he was older. I'd have been older.

[A]

But, yeah, you don't play that game.

[B]

Your family?

[A]

Yes, family everywhere. I go with, like, two adults. I'm like, oh, they're family. If you. If not like everybody. Because that's weird with everybody. But, like, people like, you know, in those. In situations, you're like, who are they? Like, what are they? Am I Out of myself.

[B]

Weird. It's, like, clear. It's like. It's like clearly siblings. Like, all right. Her family, they look a lot alike, man. Almost twins. I. I seem like. What?

[A]

Oh, I'm gonna expose myself some more. Sorry, you. I didn't want to go. I don't want to cut you off, but just.

[B]

Craziest question.

[A]

No, it was the weirdest ever.

[B]

Weirdest ever.

[A]

Do you remember? It's been popping up on Tick Tock a lot. Do you remember Slap Fridays? You should know.

[B]

Podcast. This episode is brought to you by Factor. Boom. All of a sudden, hunger strikes. You go to that fridge. What's in there? Absolutely nothing. What are you? Exhausted and hungry. But guess what? That is where Factor comes in to play. For me, eating healthy is not a willpower problem. I have the willpower. I can do it. It's a setup problem. It's a cleaning problem. It's a getting all the ingredients problem. It's all that. I can't do that part. And that is why Factor has our backs. Factor has meals built around your goals, whether that's weight loss, overall health, more protein, and even GLP1 support. Support. Every meal is crafted with functional ingredients. Lean proteins, colorful veggies, whole foods, and healthy fats. Factor is fresh and never frozen. With over a hundred rotating weekly meals, you will never get tired of eating Factor. And they have even introduced the globally inspired flavors. So don't just trust me. Don't just trust p. Trust Factor and give them a try. Head to Factor Meals.com YSK50OFF and use code YSK50OFF to get 50% off and free daily greens per box with new subscription only while supplies last until September 27, 2026. See website for more details. Now on to the rest of the episode.

[A]

You should know podcast.

[B]

What the hell? Oh, dude.

[A]

You didn't have Slap Fridays at your school.

[B]

This is in the public education system.

[A]

Oh, this is going different than I thought it would go. I thought you had. No, no, no. Slap Friday was basically. Sarah, did y' all Slap Friday?

[B]

No, no. We have morals in North Texas.

[A]

No, no, no, no. I did, too. Slap Friday was this thing that happened like middle school where on Fridays you would slap somebody's. Right? You just. It's go up and slap somebody. It wasn't until people are talking about it now on TikTok. I didn't know guys were slapping girls. My whole middle school career, I was hitting all the boys. I didn't know. I didn't know y' all were grabbing women. I didn't so that was. That's the realization I've come to in the past 48 hours.

[B]

Okay, that's an incredible game. Would have loved to compete in that.

[A]

But no, no, it's creepy. Looking back on it. It's creepy because I didn't know that Cyber Friday was for the opposite sex. I was doing it to my boys, Brandon.

[B]

He said, yeah, Friday. Oh, yeah.

[A]

I was Tik tok. And they were like, can we talk about how the people we grew up with need to go to jail because of Slap Fridays? And I was like, I'm going to jail. And they're like, isn't it crazy that we would just walk up to random chicks and slap their. And I go. I was like, oh, y' all were slapping girls.

[B]

Like, I was tapping Marquis's from the back for two years straight. Okay. You said, hey, yo, what up, D? Oh, boy.

[A]

Happy Friday month.

[B]

He said, hell, yeah. You hit that PR and squats, boy. This, now, this.

[A]

I'll leave it up to you.

[B]

Starting about right now. You. If any of this has to go, I might incriminate myself. I have a. I have a take on the Slap riders.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Yeah. I'm going to go for it. I'm going to go for it.

[A]

Go for it, cj. Be ready.

[B]

I'm glad y' all had, like, a sanctioned game. Look, Slap Friday, there was about a two to two and a half month period where I was. I was talking to this girl, I believe, in the eighth grade. Every single day at the end of fifth period, I slept.

[A]

Wait, what? What tour?

[B]

We'd line up at the door, wait for the bell to ring. It would ring. The kid at the front would open the door, and while we would split our separate ways before we left the classroom. Every day for about 75 days consecutively. And she had a dumper. She had an absolute hitch. Trailer.

[A]

This is your girlfriend?

[B]

No. Never dated, man. Never dated.

[A]

Never talked to her.

[B]

I go, didn't know her name. I'm kidding. This is a comedy podcast. No, it did happen, but I didn't know her name. No. Okay, so did she? No, we were talking.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no.

[B]

Hold on.

[A]

Shut the up.

[B]

Looking back, it was a little weird.

[A]

Did she know you were gonna do it? Yeah. Was she cool with it?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you asked her for permission?

[B]

Just wasn't a lot of dialect. Like, wasn't a lot of discourse involved. But it wasn't like, oh, have a good day, sweetie.

[A]

Smack.

[B]

It was kind of like trying to

[A]

gauge if this is staying or not. Did you okay.

[B]

Did she know it's happening? Yes.

[A]

The first time.

[B]

Allow it.

[A]

The first time?

[B]

First time might have been a move. Might have been a move on my part. Like a. Like a. Let's spice some things up. Like, oh, I. I'm cool with the good morning and emoji. I was like, what's that for? And then.

[A]

How old are you?

[B]

Eighth grade.

[A]

That's too old, man.

[B]

Eighth grade, that's too too old.

[A]

You're like 15, first off.

[B]

I didn't get held back. Moron. If you're 50, if you get your perm in the 8th grade, you suck. You absolutely suck. If this guy has a permit in the eighth grade. You are a Neanderthal and you are menace to society. Oh, dude, we had a kid that was 17 in eighth grade.

[A]

Yeah, I remember.

[B]

You just talked about him like a four minute mile.

[A]

Yeah, he's like, ruined your life.

[B]

No, it was incredible. He had everything. He had money, cars, all of it. In the meantime, I mean, I had no friends playing Black Ops 2. It was unbelievable.

[A]

Do you know it's crazy.

[B]

Tell me.

[A]

I have a question.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

About like the 4th of July happened a couple weeks ago.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

A while ago. It's like probably over a month. I'm so bad with time, bro. I'm so bad. It was like. I don't care, honestly.

[B]

I mean, me neither. It was like two weeks ago.

[A]

Okay, but I was in the airport the other day and they were selling America 250 merch. Right?

[B]

Yeah. Yes, sir.

[A]

And like this last Fourth of July, everything was 250. America 200 and fifty.

[B]

Yeah. Pretty obvious.

[A]

I don't get that though. I don't understand it. Because. Oh, God, America's older than 250 years.

[B]

Incorrect.

[A]

No, no, no, because there was 400 years of slavery.

[B]

All right?

[A]

And, and so they're saying, right, that the Declaration was signed in 17. 17.

[B]

1776.

[A]

1776.

[B]

Sure was.

[A]

Now, if I do my math correct, 50, that 1776 plus 250 would be around 18. And we're in 2026.

[B]

What in the just came out of your mouth?

[A]

1776 plus 250 would be around eighteen something. I don't know the math.

[B]

1776 plus 250, sweetheart, would be right now. Right now. 1776 plus 250 is 2026.

[A]

Hence the 2503026 minus 250 is. Wow. Yeah.

[B]

Welcome to Earth.

[A]

Why was I having such a hard time with that?

[B]

I don't know. You might have been diced.

[A]

1770. I was taking like the 200 plus 70. Hold on. 776 plus 200, right? Is 976.

[B]

Why does it any of that matter?

[A]

So I thought that'd be like 1958 or something like that.

[B]

You just said 776 plus 200 is 976. Yeah, 776. You're missing a thousand. You're missing a millennia.

[A]

I drowned you out after the third.

[B]

What was that? What was that? You drove Yao. That's what I heard. I drive yao. I drive the out.

[A]

Okay, now it makes sense. Now back.

[B]

Back to you real quick. I'm not done with you. I'm not done with you. That's an incredible, incredibly bad moment.

[A]

Yeah, that was embarrassing, but we solved it quick. See, I didn't debate you or anything.

[B]

And that's growth. Yeah, honestly, that's growth. But no, I'm not done with you. Cuz you. You quite literally were about a smidge away from being the reason that I leave the country and delete all of my social media. Me, you, Peyton Harden.

[A]

For what?

[B]

We're in Houston for DreamCon, right? The game ends, It's a late night, we're both in pain, and we're both drenched in sweat. What did we do? We go up to the room to shower, right?

[A]

Yes, we did. Quickly.

[B]

So I immediately. Butt naked. Boom. Butt naked. Absolute crab. Just butt naked, sitting on the toilet. And I'm on the phone with my wife. And now it's a long conversation. I haven't spoke to her in some hours. Oh, I love you so much. I can't wait to see you tomorrow morning. Can't wait to hug the boys, all the good stuff right? Now I have finished using the pot. I mean, I've wiped and flushed and all. Now I started just kind of walking around butt naked, right? And I'm thinking nothing of talking to my wife. Love you too. Butt naked. I hit a little kneel at one point and I stand up now.

[A]

Wait, what?

[B]

I was on my knees.

[A]

You need you kneeled naked.

[B]

I was butt naked on both of my knees.

[A]

If you kneel naked, you're trying to get something taken or given that's the only thing you could do.

[B]

I was in the room by myself. So that declines it. Oh, there's that decline.

[A]

You can.

[B]

All right. Anyway, I'm on my knees. I stand back up now toward the very tail end of this conversation, I kind of start playing with it now. I don't know why.

[A]

What?

[B]

Not like a full blown, like, not

[A]

like you're slapping Johnny.

[B]

It was more like a pick. I was, like, picking at it.

[A]

What?

[B]

I think my nuts were real sweaty. Sweaty. Show me. Like, just. I was kind of like, just like. Like do it on your pants.

[A]

Like on the end of your pants.

[B]

Like, Like Shaft was still stuck to. Stop.

[A]

Okay, just show us what you're doing.

[B]

Look at that.

[A]

You're unpeeling.

[B]

Like a Three Finger Monte situation. Just going like a.

[A]

Like, oh, so you're spider web and you're getting off. There we go.

[B]

Yes. Gwen Stacy pulling it off. I'm here and now.

[A]

I love that, dude. I love the sound it makes.

[B]

Oh, yeah. It's like a little peel. It's like a. Like a sticky note. Oh, my God. Oh, you have a sweaty scrotum and you pull off the shaft like a nice. Like a firmly pressed sticky note. Can I be honest?

[A]

I don't know what my shaft is. I don't know what that is. Like when you keep saying that. I don't know if that's the pubes or what. I don't know what the shaft is.

[B]

Literally, it's the shit. This is the shaft?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's your head.

[A]

My rod.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, I have a shaft. He has a rod. I have a revolver. He has a 12 gauge.

[A]

Ooh.

[B]

Off I get it. We're not all blessed. Anyway. I'm sitting there and I start to pick strange. Just trying to get the. Get off the phone, get in the shower so I can go have a drink. Yeah, Right now I turn around in the middle of my hotel room. My windows. Oh, I did do that. Are wide open all the way to the side. And I never, ever do that in my hotel room. The morning of the game, he came in there. Hey, bro, you got that undershirt, man, I don't know how you live like this. And opened up first off my face room. Don't do that. My room. Don't do it. I would never do that in your room. And if I did, you'd shut it down immediately. If I tried to close it, you go, oh, hell no. He goes, dude, I don't know. I mean, this is like great sleeping editions, but grow up, Count Dracula. And he opens up and I never. In the history of my 28 years of existence, I've never done that. So I'm not thinking they're open. I am butt naked, flaccid as a picking my sweaty small crotch. And I turn around, and the city of Houston is outside of my window.

[A]

No, there's 10,000 people out of that window.

[B]

When I tell you. When I tell you two things. My immediate reaction.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And you wonder why. My knee. I. I dropped to my knees. My immediate reaction. I literally dropped to my knees.

[A]

Both of them.

[B]

Both my knee at the same time. I pulled the Lisa Kennedy. I literally said. I went, oh, I dropped down to my knee. I said, there's. Because there's another skyscraper hotel directly across from us.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And I'm at a decent vantage point. I'm on the eighth floor. Eighth floor. You can see from street level, and you can sure see from the penthouse. So I'm. I'm highly visible. And then after I army crawl to my windows butt naked, I'm. I'm literally going, this mother Peyton, butt naked. Who didn't at all? And I get there and I go, I have to make sure no one. I peek up on the windowsill. There was three rooms that were fully lit that had human beings mobile moving, phones in hand. Kickbacks in these hotel rooms right across the street. So I'm. I'm just going to say it now. If somehow that footage airs, I'm sorry. And this was a. It was a fantastic run. I would not. I would not spend the last five years of my life doing anything else. You go, but it is over. You go.

[A]

I promise I'm a grower.

[B]

Oh, no. I promise. I'm a grower. You can ask my wife. You can ask. You can ask my wife. I'm a grower.

[A]

Okay, first of all, I am sorry. Unbelievable. That is actually the funniest thing ever.

[B]

Unbelievable. I love.

[A]

So good.

[B]

I fell to my knees as a six, seven, man. I literally went like this.

[A]

That's a lot of knee dropping in.

[B]

That story hurts.

[A]

The fact that you were just recreationally on your knees at the beginning on

[B]

the phone, but naked like this. I was like, yeah.

[A]

No way. It was breathing.

[B]

Oh, yeah. And I said. I said, you know I'm naked, right? She said what? I said. And then live word for it, she goes, oh, you have a cute butt.

[A]

Yeah, dude. I love when Sarah says that. Hey, you, fun fact. Is it crazy? I've sent some of the booty pics that you've sent me to my girlfriend. You should know podcast

[B]

this episode is brought to you by Cash App. Guys, Malachi's starting to get a little old on me, right? He's a little cute. He's starting to understand stuff. And I showed him a dollar the other day, and it had my mind spiraling. I need to teach this boy about money. But I thought, what Would his debit card look like if he could have one? Probably have Spider man on it. Maybe a little. Couple dinosaurs here and there, maybe some little critters. But thanks to Cash App that is not too far away. Cash App now offers managed accounts for kids ages 6 to 12 that grow them all the way to adulthood, all with no subscription fees. Because building money habits shouldn't cost extra, let me tell you about it. You can set spending limits so you know exactly how much they can. You can lock and unlock their Cash App Visa card at any given time. You can automate their allowance through the app, which makes it very easy for you. It's because, you know, as parents, we're forgetful. We got a lot of stuff to do. And the best part is your kids can start building real saving habits by earning interest on their savings. If you're ready to start teaching money habits without adding more stress to your play, download Cash App and set up a managed account for your child today. For limited time, new Cash App customers who are parents can use our exclusive referral code Family10. To earn $10, download Cash App, enter the referral code in your profile, send $5 to a friend within 14 days and you will receive the $10 terms apply.

[A]

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[B]

I mean, that's our level of love, but I just. I didn't know that was happening.

[A]

There's one of you Sarah's seen.

[B]

Yeah, My white stallion.

[A]

Multiple angles, laying down, standing up from the side.

[B]

Oh, that laying down one's mint. Yeah, no, that laying down one's tear, but. Oh, my God, dude, put that on a dating.

[A]

What messes it up is you have like a mouse bitmoji over your face. So it's like kind of too scandalous. Oh, like, it's not funny. It's like, who is that little white stallion? Who's that? Is that. Yes, Jules.

[B]

Oh. Oh, dude. Hairless

[A]

monkey. You have a spotless Monkey.

[B]

Spotless little back porch.

[A]

Oh, dude, no.

[B]

You gotta.

[A]

You gotta mow my head just to get to mine. You got to get some landscaping work.

[B]

Oh, you're. I've never seen anything darker than your crack. Like, quite literally, I have never seen anything darker than yours.

[A]

Like the bridge to Terabithia. It's, like, magical, but you might die on the way.

[B]

It's Chronicles of Narnia.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Wardrobe to either hell or a beautiful wonderland.

[A]

Yeah. Dude, you know what also bothers me about our friendship?

[B]

What?

[A]

I've never seen it.

[B]

That is weird. I don't know how you haven't seen it. It's in your. Multiple times.

[A]

I've seen mine a lot.

[B]

I see it multiple times.

[A]

Yeah. You never just presented it to me.

[B]

We just whip out Johnson.

[A]

I've seen your seen. I've seen the.

[B]

You've seen the scro.

[A]

Yeah, I've seen. Is that what scrote is?

[B]

Scrote.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Are you, like. I mean, I know you're 15. The eighth grade, but what are we doing? Did you skip health? Maybe skip a physical checkup with the

[A]

fact I don't like your nuts?

[B]

Why?

[A]

They're weird.

[B]

Like, really pink. No, they're not. They're really pink.

[A]

They're like little mouse nuts.

[B]

Little rat nuts. No, my nuts are good Hugh. Good hugh.

[A]

No, it's too much.

[B]

It's like a. It's like a dark salmon. My nuts.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Hey, guess what. Your. Your balls look like asphalt. Okay. Your balls are darkish, dude.

[A]

I don't know why. I don't know why. Everything down there so dark. It's like a dozen. It's aftermarket. Everything on me is aftermarket.

[B]

You have a third party?

[A]

Yeah, it's been VC on my. On my lower half. I don't know where that came from.

[B]

There's. Okay. No.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We have to segue. We have to segue first. Okay, Wrap it up. Houston was great.

[A]

His city's always Dream Con, baby.

[B]

Good. Dreamcon's good, bro. You know, I was thinking, though, just going to the convention and whatnot, and, like, just seeing, like, just marvels of production and all those. All those LED screens.

[A]

First off, I mean, you have a thing for led.

[B]

The back of an LED screen causes blood flow.

[A]

You will say that you stood. You spent more time behind the screen than in front of it because you were just admiring the wiring. I was, like, a bit.

[B]

Little fly, addicted to the light. But I say all that to say I'm. I'm almost, like, in need for our new studio to Be done.

[A]

I'm super excited for it.

[B]

I'm wanted to be done. I'm excited, too.

[A]

So we're almost at the end of the run of waiting for a new studio. We. I think we finally are getting ac. They should be putting it in pretty soon, but I'm throwing, like, a party.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, you did say that. You mentioned it.

[A]

Yeah. I'm gonna throw a party for a new studio, and for you, I'm bringing a bunch of aphrodisiacs. What?

[B]

I got bubbly. What in the hell did you just say?

[A]

Aphrodisiacs.

[B]

Now, beg the pardon out of me. I'm simply. I'm almost guaranteed you don't know what you just said.

[A]

Aphrodisiacs.

[B]

No, I know you can say it. You have no clue what that means.

[A]

Like relics. Like old realms and relics of ancient Greek Rome times. Because I know that's what you like. Am I.

[B]

No, No, I love that. And that is what I like right now. Just one more time to your camera. Define aphrodisiac for me.

[A]

And aphrodisiac is like an old ancient, like. Like a ancient, like, thing. Like a mummy. Like tombs and mummies and knights and wizards. Like, that stuff. Right.

[B]

I did it for, you know, the thoughts there. The vocab's not.

[A]

What's an aphrodisiac, brother.

[B]

An aphrodisiac is something that, like, induces, like, pheromones, hormones, like, get you ready to go.

[A]

I'm talking about dildos.

[B]

Like. Like. Like certain foods. So that literally, like, hormonal balance. Get you ready to, like, mate.

[A]

Like a honey pack.

[B]

Yeah. Honey pack. Aphrodisiac.

[A]

You just don't deserve that name.

[B]

You just said you're throwing a party, and for me, you bought aphrodisiacs. That is. That's what came out of your mouth. So forgive me that I almost choked on my drink. You said, bro, we got the new studio. Honestly, I'm so excited. And to celebrate, I'm ready to. Like, that's what you just said.

[A]

In. In no way, shape, or form did I know that there was, like, prerequisite foods to sexy time.

[B]

Oh. Oh, oh, do you. Oh, you don't know anything about this.

[A]

Now I'm kind of having a panic attack because so many times in, like, a formal setting, I've said aphrodisiac so many times over dinner or, like, trying to sound smart.

[B]

Meetings.

[A]

Yes. Like, I've tried to bond over the movie, Troy. So many time. And I brought up average Aphrodisiacs.

[B]

Can I read you this? Can I read you the definition?

[A]

You're teaching me so I like. I'm not trolling at all.

[B]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm about to quiz. I'm about to. I'm going to give you, like, list. Food. An aphrodisiac is any substance, such as food, drink, or medication, that arouses and increases sexual desire, pleasure, or performance. That's an aphrodisiac. You just told me you were giving me a rhino pill. For our new studio.

[A]

Can we do an aphrodisiac quiz? And you quiz me on what's an aphrodisiac or what's not. And I'm gonna have a stroke if I say that one more time.

[B]

I love that. I love that.

[A]

So just compile a list of, like, different fruits or foods or substances. And some of them may not be aphrodisiac. Some of them may be aphrodisiacs, and I can tell you which ones are which.

[B]

Perfect. Okay.

[A]

The aphrodisiac quiz.

[B]

All right, I've compiled the list of actual aphrodisiacs and then some non aphrodisiacs. We're going to see if you can tell the difference.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, I am sweating. Are you looking at my shirt?

[A]

Yeah, you look gross, but you don't look good.

[B]

I'm dripping sweat. This is ridiculous.

[A]

Okay, so, the aphrodisiac quiz. Does this make you get in the mood or does it not? I just learned what an aphrodisiac is.

[B]

Yeah. That's unbelievable. Read a book.

[A]

You can't tell me that's not, like, ancient Greece, like relics and like, antiquity, like memorabilia from. From the Roman Empire.

[B]

Antiquity. It's close, though. Antiquity. Aphrodite. First off.

[A]

Aphrodisiac.

[B]

Shorten the word Shorten.

[A]

The word aphrodisiac sounds way more like Roman time than antiquity.

[B]

I think it stems from back then, giggity and giggity. Whoever drinks, whoever takes the most Tylenol PM wins. Here we go. Aphrodisiac quiz. First one up. Oysters.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Oysters are an Afro dish.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Because you get that.

[A]

Get in that thing. Harry Jowsey taught me. He almost got me home that night. Boy. Oh, my God. Who's marrying Harry? I'm about to.

[B]

He ain't that good. He said, you just take it. You just got all this.

[A]

Yeah. And he got in there, and I cut my lip after. I was like, oh, I'm okay.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Next one. Passion fruit.

[A]

Passionate, from miles away. Passive, with the things come says, passing up on Cam's old way. I can't come with. No come win, Cameron. All right, what is it?

[B]

Passion fruit.

[A]

That sounds passionate.

[B]

Yeah, it sounds passionate. Not an aphrodisiac.

[A]

Okay. All right, now I'm learning. Why not?

[B]

I need a why. Because it's not. But that. That was a trick one. Okay, despite the name.

[A]

The name, I was. Okay, now I'm learning. I'm learning, I'm learning.

[B]

Here we go. Coffee.

[A]

Coffee. No, I think coffee causes ed. If you do too much creatine or caffeine. Too much caffeine causes ed.

[B]

Is that a fact?

[A]

No, but I think for you, for your person, because your blood's going everywhere else and you can't. You know what I mean?

[B]

Oh, my God. You should start a research.

[A]

Come on. Now.

[B]

Also, that is an aphrodisiac. Coffee is an aphrodite. I go. Now I know why you're touching me every morning.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Oh, my God. Wait. Wow. Wait. I was joking. That. Actually. No, no, you're. You're freak show in the morning.

[A]

I am.

[B]

We show up for early recordings. You go, hey, what's up, man? You sleep good?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. When I hug you and you feel something stabbing your belly button. Yeah, that's. That's all. That's that coffee.

[B]

It's stabbed in the gun. A long finger.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Okay, next one. Cinnamon.

[A]

Like, raw cinnamon.

[B]

Raw cinnamon.

[A]

I'm not gonna lie. You ever done the cinnamon challenge? Kind of like being choked? Kind of like that feeling, being choked. So, yeah. Yeah, why not?

[B]

It is. It is an aper. Your, like, rationale to get to. Your answer is incredible. You said Sitman challenge. Choking. I like being choked. Yes. Okay, here we go. White chocolate. You talk to me. You know, it's not. It's not at all.

[A]

Oh, my God. Sarah just gave me some white chocolate chocolate covered strawberries. Oh. Almost kicked her out of the car.

[B]

Wait, why?

[A]

Nastiest thing ever. They had sprinkles on it.

[B]

No, no. Okay, time the hell out on the quiz.

[A]

Why you.

[B]

White chocolate is not nasty.

[A]

White chocolate's the worst chocolate. The you should know podcast. This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Shopify is where you go to start your business. Let me tell you, if you've been sitting on a business idea, think about it. Shopify makes it easy to make it happen. Everything you need to start selling is included and ready. From day one, we use Shopify. I've Used Shopify before. I freaking love me some Shopify. It is simple, it is effective, and it saves so, so much time and energy, and it really helps scale the business, especially for early startups. Shopify checkout helps customers finish more of their purchases, and when they come back, their details are already saved. One tap and they're done. That is so, so important to keep business going, to keep customers coming back. And because Shopify handles the setup and checkout, you have more time to focus on growing your business and the tools to do it. You don't want to spend all your time doing stuff that Shopify is just going to take care for you. Shopify powers millions of businesses worldwide. From household names like Mattel and Gymshark. The small business is just getting started. Start your free [e-mail] ysk start your free trial is shopify.com ysk now on to the rest of the episode, the you should know podcast.

[B]

Okay, first off, phones down. And I'm ready to. I'm ready for war.

[A]

Okay. I know that means something to you because they called you that. Growing up, all your black friends, you felt included.

[B]

Yeah, they called me white chocolate and something else. Can't say that one.

[A]

How'd that feel when your black friend said that?

[B]

I mean, empowering, like, on it. Like, it's like, I got plus four. Cool. Like, they said it. I was like, golly, I'm good.

[A]

You called your mom. You're like, guess what? Tyrese called me today.

[B]

I go, dude, mom, it's been a great day. She's like, why? I was like, oh, I failed my quiz. But Darian said this.

[A]

So white chocolate.

[B]

White chocolate is.

[A]

White chocolate's a substitute. It's the last option.

[B]

No, you. White chocolate is. Name a candy bar. We're gonna stick to candy bars. Real quick. I know you don't like your sweets. Yeah, you snatched. But listen, white chocolate on any candy bar, that is normally milk. Yeah, the white chocolate version is superior. Now, this is not getting political or racial. I'm simply talking about sweets.

[A]

Cam, I get white chocolate, white chocolate,

[B]

Snickers crack, white chocolate, Reese's crack, white chocolate.

[A]

Why? Why? Because it's sweeter.

[B]

Cookies and cream. Hershey's bar. Cookies and creams. The job over that. I got fired for that. Candy bar.

[A]

Cookies and cream isn't white chocolate.

[B]

It's white chocolate with cookie crumbs in it.

[A]

Are you belligerent Cookies?

[B]

It's a. It's a chocolate bar. It's a.

[A]

Cookies and cream is not white chocolate. Okay, White chocolate's his own thing. Cookies and cream is literally cookies and cream.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So a Hershey's. Cookies and cream, right? Hershey's. Hershey's.

[A]

Are we talking about the bar? Are we talking about the bar?

[B]

Yeah, the bar. So I've never had that company.

[A]

I've never had that.

[B]

That makes chocolate bars. And the whole is white and the only black stuff is little crumbs.

[A]

You need to watch your mouth.

[B]

Cookie. Yeah, the little black stuff is crumbs of cookie.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You're meaning to tell me that it's not white chocolate?

[A]

I'm not talking about that.

[B]

Cream is for the street cred dub. It's white chocolate with crumbs of cookie.

[A]

So take it to ice cream. Cookies and cream. Ice cream is vanilla and Cookie Crisp.

[B]

First off. No, the it's not. And Jesus Christ, if you were eating Cookie Crisp, that explains. That's one of the worst cereals. What?

[A]

Cookie Crisp is one of the worst cereals ever.

[B]

Hey, next time, wake up the next morning, just get cotton candy, why don't you?

[A]

What?

[B]

Cookie Crisp.

[A]

You like cotton candy?

[B]

Cotton candy's great. I'm saying Cookie Crisp has zero nutritional value.

[A]

It was pure cereal has nutritional value.

[B]

I ate honey bunches of oats.

[A]

Those don't have nutritional value.

[B]

Honey bunches of oats have way more fiber and they have actual natural ingredients as opposed to mini chocolate chip cookies.

[A]

Okay, but put it in the kids cereal type of formation here, right? Take it to like Cookie Chris is the same thing as Fruit Loops. What's the Lucky Charms, Fruity Pebbles, Lucky Charms, all that. Cookie Crisp is an elite cereal and it's a top five cereal of all time. Cookie Crisp. Cookie Crisp took over a generation.

[B]

You. Yeah, they changed generation. A generation of fatties that you scared. Cookie. Cookie Crisp is. That is. I would argue that is one of like, objectively, we pull a hundred humans, maybe three people say, how old are they?

[A]

Oh, how old are they?

[B]

Across the spectrum?

[A]

No, no, all across the spectrum. No, no, all across. Kids nowadays are lost. They're lost.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

They don't have that anymore.

[B]

I'm talking about my point. No, no, you're proving my point better.

[A]

No, it's not.

[B]

You're saying that's proving my point better. You're saying only people that are roughly our age with Cookie Chris.

[A]

No, Cookie Chris is equivalent to Frank Ocean.

[B]

Oh, what?

[A]

First off, because kids nowadays won't appreciate the greatness of Frank Ocean. Frank Ocean had a hell of a run. He changed music.

[B]

He changed everything.

[A]

He took a generation by storm, but now in the disappeared. So kids that are coming up now, listening to music, 13 year olds, 14 year olds now, they're not gonna appreciate Frank Ocean. They're not gonna appreciate Cookie Chris. Cookie Chris came in at a time where cereal needed us most. Not only did they change the cereal game, they changed the milk industry because they were the first cereal that could change the milk

[B]

first off. What does that mean? What do you mean they changed the milk?

[A]

I just said it.

[B]

Yeah, you said it with no comp. What does that mean? It changed the milk because they were

[A]

the first cereal that it turned your milk brown. You drink it after.

[B]

Do you want to be disproven at the speed of light?

[A]

Disprove me.

[B]

Cocoa Puffs. Cocoa Puffs.

[A]

Never had a Cocoa Puff, so I can't.

[B]

Oh, dude.

[A]

Dude, I never had that. I didn't actually eat chocolate cereal except for cookie crisps. If we're being completely honest, the fact

[B]

your parents let you eat cereal, they did not have your best intentions at heart.

[A]

What the. My parents let me eat cereal. What am I supposed to eat as a kid? Belgium waffles?

[B]

Nothing wrong with a good waffle from the other side of the world. And you're lactose. You.

[A]

That's how I figured it out. Are lactose was like chronic acne and stomach pain. You want to breathe.

[B]

You're like, oh, God. I don't know what it is, but the cereal is good.

[A]

Oh, I just had a thought.

[B]

What?

[A]

I had it driving because we're on tour right now. Yes, we drive to venues when we're out and about in other states. You know what I never see?

[B]

What?

[A]

Water towers. I've never been to another state and seen a water tower. I've never been to a state outside of Texas and seen a water tower, ever. I'll give you a million dollars. I'll give you a million dollars cash to go to California. Go to California right now. I don't have a million dollars cash.

[B]

Oh, don't backtrack now, you prick.

[A]

Go to Los Angeles, California, right now. Drive. Go do it. Give him 405.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

See you. Tell me if you see a water tower. You've never seen one.

[B]

Hey, guess what? Albert Einstein. You don't see him in the downtown metropolis.

[A]

You.

[B]

Can I be honest? Hey, go to. Go to 10 million population city where it's a concrete jungle in the skyscrapers and in six sports arenas, a couple massive bridges, and tell me if you see an old rusty water.

[A]

Okay, that kind of proves my point. What's the point? Of water towers. What's the point? I don't understand it. Because if you go to a downtown area in a city, you won't see a single water tower. That. What? The city doesn't get water now?

[B]

They have so much superior.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Systems. They don't need a tower. I live another for their townsmen.

[A]

There's over 1.2 million people that live in my city. It's not a downtown area. It's a suburban area. Over 1.2. We have multiple water towers.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Because we are all downtown city. I haven't seen one.

[B]

Yeah, there's not.

[A]

Explain that to me.

[B]

I think I. First off. First off, don't have a degree in this, so let's start there.

[A]

In irrigation.

[B]

Yeah, in irrigation. I think that when you are more suppressed and away from the city, you use a tower for your functionality. I think.

[A]

I think it's propaganda for the city. I think it's all branding and labeling because. I'm serious. When is one time you've ever seen a water tower get filled?

[B]

No. No. Okay. No. I'm actually starting to. I'm gonna kind of level with you.

[A]

You can agree with me.

[B]

I've never fully understood a water tower.

[A]

They don't make sense.

[B]

Never understood it.

[A]

Think about how it's the size of.

[B]

When I do my sink to brush my teeth. It's not coming from that.

[A]

Oh, think about the size of a water tower that's filling up, what, four houses?

[B]

Probably a little more than that.

[A]

No, because. Shower.

[B]

No.

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Wash their dishes.

[B]

But I have always said that too. People got pools like you just said. Hundreds of thousands of human beings in these towers. Yeah. It's a marvelous big, little, nice little tower. Yeah. That's not even clearing a block of houses.

[A]

Water towers are. Are not real. Oh, water towers are conspiracy.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

It's mon.

[B]

Us. Oh, my God. What's inside of it?

[A]

Cameras.

[B]

Has to be.

[A]

Or aliens.

[B]

There's like three guys, like, bad mustaches. They clock in. They just go every day.

[A]

Name one time you've ever seen a water tower get filled.

[B]

I'm.

[A]

I've.

[B]

Okay. The filling. It has to be underground. What? In your. In your mind, how did you think they were getting filled? Fire truck was pulling up. Going via a big cup.

[A]

No, via helicopter. I was thinking it's a tall building.

[B]

It's.

[A]

I kind of put that in with the rooftop pools.

[B]

Okay. So for my. Just for myself, what's the point of

[A]

it being a tower?

[B]

So for my sanity. Yeah, A concrete. A concrete.

[A]

Water towers aren't Concrete.

[B]

They're heavy.

[A]

Heavy plastics.

[B]

Plastics.

[A]

Heavy plastics.

[B]

Plastic.

[A]

They're not metal.

[B]

No one said metal. And I've seen metal before. I've never seen a plastic. Was Legoland.

[A]

No, like heavy plastics. Like work plastic.

[B]

Who the are you? Fix it, Felix. A water tower is concrete.

[A]

No, it's not. With the paint on it that says your city on it.

[B]

My God almighty.

[A]

I climbed water towers in high school.

[B]

Oh, dude, shut your stranger things.

[A]

That was the kissing spot. The UT football field you were getting

[B]

on the top of water mouth. Did you really?

[A]

What?

[B]

You climbed a water tower?

[A]

No, I got too scared. I watched from below.

[B]

You should there. He said. Just. Just imagine I'm up there with you. I'm sorry. I'm a little kind of afraid of heights. I. Go get her.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

She doesn't like that. She doesn't like that. There you go.

[A]

No, water towers are.

[B]

They have to be.

[A]

No, there's no point of a water tower.

[B]

And there's not. This is like. There's. First off, there's not just water sitting in there getting pumped.

[A]

And it's disgusting because the sun's gonna hit it in the plastics. It's gonna melt into the water.

[B]

Shut the. Sarah, can you please say with me? Ready?

[A]

3, 2, 1.

[B]

Shut the up about the plastic. She did not join my team. She did not join. That's a loyal woman. That's okay.

[A]

Except for earlier. Yeah, that's the you should know podcast. This episode is brought to you by. A personal favorite and a favorite here over at ysk the Goat. The greatest of all time, the best brand I've ever put on my body. Fabletics. Close the laptop. Don't need the read. Let me tell you something. Fabletics runs my closet. It runs my household now. My girlfriend is wearing Fabletics. Cam wears Fabletics. Robbie wears Fabletics. Everybody on the whole team wears Fabletics. And when I. I'm not just saying this because, like, we're working together. I'm saying it because it's true. I wear Fabletics at, like, really nice dinners. I wear it out just leisurely. And if you can see, during the DreamCon basketball game that we just played in, me and Cam were wearing Fabletics undershirts. Like, we were wearing, like, athletic, like, undershirts during the basketball game because that's how much we love it. They didn't tell us to do it. It's just the best brand ever. For summer, for winter, for traveling, for business, for dinners. It's the best thing. You can wear it to a funeral if you want shop [e-mail] ysk to get 70 to 80% off everything when you sign up as new VIP. Come on now take a quick style quiz and be sure to select YSK when prompted to unlock this offer. This is a limited time offer, so do not wait again, that's fabletics.com YSK for 70 to 80% off of everything as a new VIP. We love you, Fabletics. Fabletics. We know they love you too. Now on to the rest of the episode you should know podcast.

[B]

Oh, you remember last week I brought up the whole Chris Brown thing. Yeah.

[A]

So please don't. No, no, no.

[B]

We're not talking about back shots on stage. Yeah, yeah, but I am another just a current event kind of flowing around in the air, right?

[A]

What's happening?

[B]

Malik be's right.

[A]

Oh yeah, he's dumb. Dumb guy.

[B]

Not absolutely insane.

[A]

Yeah, it sucks. Okay.

[B]

For our, for our non basketball, non sports people, Malik Beasley was an NBA player who was actively betting on himself in, in games he plays in the NBA. He's putting parlays on his own numbers and he got indicted for. They finally caught onto it. But then it's beautiful when they reverse engineer it and you see the.

[A]

Yeah. So basically you'd be. He would bet like, I'm going to get less than three rebounds. I'm going to get more than four points. Points or something like that, just for simple terms. And you would see games where like he had to get under three rebounds.

[B]

He was sprinting away from the ball.

[A]

He was. It was like. The ball was. It was dynamite. Yeah.

[B]

It was like it was a nuke. And I don't understand.

[A]

Okay, I understand addiction's a real thing and I think that's what it boils down to is gambling addiction. But like, if you have like, let's take it out of him. Let's take it off of Malik Beasley. If you have $500 million. Right.

[B]

Malik never hit that.

[A]

But that's what I'm saying.

[B]

Like never hit that.

[A]

But like, like why are you betting on like thousand dollar bets, $100,000 bets? Like, you know what I mean?

[B]

I mean money's money. Like that's what people. They're probably there. It's probably just one more.

[A]

If you have $500 million, losing a million dollars is just pennies to you. Oh, like, like losing that, like that's like us losing $10.

[B]

Oh, it's. Pipe down a bit. That's. I'm. No.

[A]

Are you nuts?

[B]

Paying a million dollars? A million dollars. I don't Care if you have 500 of it. A million. A million dollars. Losing a million dollars. The loses a million dollars. That's not. No, that's.

[A]

No, no, it's different. If you lose a million dollars.

[B]

I don't even have a million dollars to lose. I'd be in debt. Okay, If I lost a million dollars, I'm in the red. I literally have to sell my body. I have to go have on Harry Hines. If I lose a million dollars. If I lose a million dollars, I'm prostitute. I have to be.

[A]

Oh, I'd be a good pimp for you. I know how to sell you.

[B]

Well, you know, who wants to ride on the white south? I mean, he gets nasty and they show me.

[A]

I'm like, I got some aphrodisiacs for him.

[B]

Give me some of that cinnamon and coffee.

[A]

But no, if you. You can lose a million dollars like this.

[B]

You can. Incorrect.

[A]

If you have. If you're.

[B]

If you.

[A]

If you're a billionaire paid.

[B]

Let's say you're a billionaire, okay, then double the five. If you're a billionaire and you lose $10 million. That stings.

[A]

No, it does not.

[B]

That stings.

[A]

If you was 5 million. Does it say if we're back to

[B]

5, 5 it, bro. I. I get your premise.

[A]

You have Patrick Mahomes right now. He has like, he got a 500 million dollar contract. He could literally take $2 million right now and set it on fire and not even worry about it.

[B]

If you think Patrick Rose is set. Is setting Ablaze to $2 million, you

[A]

can, you literally can. And it won't affect your daily life at all. If you were to burn you. Let's bring it back to you. What do you have like $2,000?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I go. Yeah, I do.

[A]

Let's take it to you.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

If you burn 200. If you have $200 right now. If you burn it, your life is not going to change at all. Take your pride and your morals away, Peyton. If your life will not change at all if you burn $200 right now.

[B]

If I burn $200 right now, someone better be on the phone with me when I'm crossing over the bridge on my drive home.

[A]

Cam, you're insane. You're lying. You're lying for the camera. You're lying for the camera.

[B]

Okay? Your whole premise is a lot of money equals, I could say off a lot of money.

[A]

That's how money works.

[B]

No, that's not.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

You're talking. Oh my God, you're talking about ratios I'm saying from a human standpoint, it doesn't matter if you have 500 million.

[A]

Okay, no, no, no. I'm not talking about morals and morality. I'm not talking about that in human sample. I'm talking about strictly numbers, Cam. That's why. That's why.

[B]

If you had 500 grubby.

[A]

I hate your nail beds.

[B]

If you. Yeah, your nails are huge. If you had 500 million and you woke up. Let's just play the game. You have $500 million, Peyton Harden? Yes.

[A]

I spend a million dollars in 24 hours.

[B]

You're not Patrick Mahomes. That's fine. You'd probably do it on your.

[A]

And I would never think about it again.

[B]

Such a good tongue roll. If you had 500 million and you woke up and K. Rob calls you

[A]

and goes, I would never answer K. Rob's calls. If I had $500 million, K. Rob would not have my phone number. I would put that out right now. Like, it literally my girlfriend, you, and my parents. That's it. There's only people that have my phone number. If I have $500 million, I'm a ghost to you. Are you crazy? K. Rob.

[B]

You literally go, oh, no, 500 million.

[A]

I'm talking to somebody from Arkansas.

[B]

Okay, you have $500 million. I call you in the morning.

[A]

Still a tough answer.

[B]

I call you and I go, hey, bro, I don't know if you saw last night you lost a million dollars. If you. Peyton Stephen Harden, look me in my eyes right now after I tell you you lost seven digits.

[A]

Doing what, though?

[B]

It doesn't matter. According to you. That's the money point. It doesn't matter. Oh, no. Oh, doing what?

[A]

That's where the human aspect comes in.

[B]

Oh, but I thought we just said no human.

[A]

You got to let me speak or I'm a punch you in the face.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Let me speak, because I'm saying this. If I didn't control it, leaving, that's different. I can burn it. If you said, peyton, you got too drunk and you burned a million dollars

[B]

last night, you'd be pissed.

[A]

No, I would not. If I had 500 million, I wouldn't care. I'd be like, oh, I'd be upset because I could have given that to somebody.

[B]

You are potting.

[A]

Potting.

[B]

I'm not potting. Your. Your thing is 500 to 1. My thing is a million. Is a million. A million dollars. We're not talking about losing ten grand. One grand.

[A]

It's the same thing.

[B]

If you lose a million Dollars. That stings.

[A]

You're the same guy that said you wouldn't take $20 million just so you could have coitus.

[B]

Yeah, I love my wife. I'll get my rocks off.

[A]

I still need to take it from you. Like I told you, I need to

[B]

feel it if you lose. NBA players get pissed when they get fined.

[A]

No, they don't.

[B]

$50,000.

[A]

That's ego. That's pride. Because somebody else is forcing them to take it. That's what it is. If they're ch. They spit. I. I know people. I've been in a room. I've been in a room with a billionaire and I've seen him spend a million dollars.

[B]

Yes. In like two hours. Yes.

[A]

And he walked away from that table and had fun.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I said I almost threw up. He doesn't matter. Money's not the same. Like, if you were to go spend. You spent. Oh, oh, oh, wow. You spent a thousand dollars on Pokemon cards. You haven't even thought about it. You haven't even thought about it. You spent a thousand dollars on Pokemon cards two days ago. You haven't thought about it.

[B]

Yes, but. That is a But.

[A]

Do you have somebody else that's in a lesson.

[B]

I'm going for a master set.

[A]

But if you. But if you have to. Somebody else that's in a less fortunate situation than you. That's crazy. Ideals. Right? But you haven't even fathomed that way of living of 500 million for a million would be nothing. It's the same thing. You see how that works?

[B]

That's not the same thing. Because guess what, dumb. I spent a thousand. And not to sound like that, but I have savings accounts, stuff like that. And I haven't spent money on myself in a long time. So I wanted to.

[A]

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

[B]

If I. What's the. What's the equivalent to that?

[A]

If I had 50,000.

[B]

No, if I had $500,000, it's, well, okay, well, but a millions of million. A millions of million. And hey, I want you to lean in real quick. Hey, you know that little story about the billionaire? You know that old talk, right? Hey, you can't fathom that because we're not even close.

[A]

Who isn't?

[B]

If you're close to. If you right now are close to a billion dollars in your name. That pretty little face. You are very handsome, by the way. We don't do this often. We don't do this enough if you're close.

[A]

If I open My mouth. I'll lose a little equity if you

[B]

are close to a billion dollars. I quit right now.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You'd expect if I had a billion dollars. Dude, right? Getting this guy. I got canceled last time.

[B]

Peyton, if you had a billion dollars,

[A]

the fact that you expect something from me is crazy.

[B]

I didn't say that. I didn't say that.

[A]

Why would you quit? Because your life's not changing.

[B]

I said if you had a billion and I didn't know that you had a billion. Yeah, I quit.

[A]

You'd quit the podcast if you found out I was a billionaire?

[B]

Oh, I'd quit, Peyton. I'd quit you. I'd quit you.

[A]

Is that not messed up?

[B]

Is it not more messed up that you are a billionaire and I don't

[A]

know what I eat does not make you.

[B]

That's fine. That's food. I'm talking about financials.

[A]

What does that change? What does that change?

[B]

Pain.

[A]

When we have. At what point does it matter?

[B]

What?

[A]

What does that mean? Like your friend. Like I've treated you the same.

[B]

That should be more of equity genitalia.

[A]

And that's worth more than a billion.

[B]

I've had a head rub from your aunt. I know everything about your family. And if you've kept that, you're a bill. We can't fathom it. A billionaire. A billionaire.

[A]

You sound moochie.

[B]

I'm not asking for a dime now.

[A]

Why are you leaving me then?

[B]

Because that's an incredible secret to. To absolutely keep for me.

[A]

Because I wanted to test if you were actually my friend. It's the friendship test.

[B]

The friendship test. That's fine. I'm passing the test.

[A]

No, you're not. You're not passing the test. If you're going to leave me. If you found out that I'm doing better than you in life already. More better. Way more better than I already am doing better.

[B]

Ears look really good, but you don't use them well. Right? I said if you were a billionaire. I'm not mad that I don't have a billion. I'm not mad that you don't. Bless me. None of that. That's fine.

[A]

Right?

[B]

I'm saying I'd be mad that I didn't know that you have trusted me with very deep secrets. As so I have to you. Yeah, that wasn't English. Yeah, that is the premise. I'm coming from. I don't need your money. I'd love to figure out what you did to get there.

[A]

It's none of your business.

[B]

And that's fine too. That's.

[A]

But the way you're doing this is very colonial and, like, in, like, your people. Like, I need to. It's my duty.

[B]

It's.

[A]

I have to find out. I get involved in that. It's not your. Just be happy for me. You loved me before the money.

[B]

I loved you before the money. I loved you when you were a creep. I go, I loved you when you were nasty.

[A]

Okay, question you. We don't have to make this long. Okay. Would you be more upset at me? Would you more. Hey, hey there.

[B]

Hey, hey, hey. You're there and I'm here.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

Hey, we're here together.

[A]

Would you be more upset at me if you found out I was a billionaire right now?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Or if you found out that I had a child and I didn't tell you about either one? Which one? If you didn't know out of the

[B]

dark, I want this to live on the Internet forever.

[A]

Yeah. Which one you'd be more upset about

[B]

if you had a child right now?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You had a human being that came from your nuts right now. I would never talk to you again if you had a kid. And I was not privy at all in the slightest. God forbid. What's the age of this kid? If the kid can walk. If this kid can walk. What if. What if you said, oh, here's my son. Bring him in.

[A]

What if I.

[B]

Walks to me.

[A]

Okay. What if I had him in high school before we met each other, and then, like, the mom took off? I used to. By the way, that was a pickup line I used to use on girls. It's so true. I used to, like, test girls and be like, I have a. I got a girl pregnant in high school.

[B]

Oh, my God. You.

[A]

I Did you remember that?

[B]

I've heard that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. No, I got a kid back. I mean, she, you know, kind of rocky end.

[A]

Yeah. Mom took off. She blocked me on everything. She's like, I haven't. I missed the kid. I love him. I just. And I would pull up light skin baby pictures on Google and send it to the thing. It worked. It would test out who really liked me or not.

[B]

You want to talk about a weird bag?

[A]

Yeah. No, it was weird.

[B]

God. Yeah. Even if you had him in high school now, this for you and the kids.

[A]

Not in my life. Like, the mom took off.

[B]

Now this is the. This is your only out. If you. I'm talking, like, birth happened. Both gone. And she blocks you. Like, there's, like, you can't. No matter how much you want, you cannot be involved in that life. That's your only.

[A]

So if I'm involved at all, you'd be mad at me?

[B]

Absolutely. That's so weird to me.

[A]

Why? It's none of your business.

[B]

You were ready to fight me because I told a random man in the Niemen that my sister lived in Germany. You were mad that you didn't know my sister lived in Germany.

[A]

That was crazy.

[B]

If you had a seed. If you had offspring on the. On earth. You don't think I deserve to be mad?

[A]

See, that's so different. If I found out you were.

[B]

If you had a dog that I didn't know about, I'd be fucking livid. Like, what do you mean you had Dexter? What do you mean? Where's. Where's this coming from?

[A]

See, we're completely opposite how our minds work.

[B]

Because I love you more than you love me. If I.

[A]

If I found out. I wouldn't give a. About a child. If I found out you're a billionaire and you didn't break me off about half a mil at least by now. I would never. I would kill you.

[B]

Oh, exactly. Okay.

[A]

I would take insurance out on your life cam.

[B]

Oh, but if I have a billion. You're not touching me. You're not. I'd have snipers everywhere. No, if I had a billion, first off, I would bless you heavily. Now, honestly, I don't think you would do this.

[A]

I would set you up. I would set you up for something.

[B]

Like. What does that mean?

[A]

You have to work for it? I'd get you. I'd get you. Look, what'd you want? Like a card shop or something? Yeah, I'd open. You have a car wash or something

[B]

I'd like go get on your car wash.

[A]

It's my money.

[B]

Yeah, like you don't I just have to break you off cold cash? I would expect that you would expect.

[A]

I've already put in the equity. I've already put in the sweat equity enough.

[B]

Have I done.

[A]

You've fallen off on it. It's changed. For sure. For sure, for sure. It's. When them kids came along, bro, you started treating me different.

[B]

You used to this.

[A]

You ask your kids now and like, check on him is what you used to do to me. And it's. It's honestly been bothering me. First it was that girl, right? And then it was those two kids.

[B]

This is incredible. It. No.

[A]

And I'm not upset. Cuz I get it. And I'm a grown man and I get it.

[B]

As you should.

[A]

Right? But I have emotions. I'm emotional.

[B]

That's fine.

[A]

And, like, you'll ask Malachi, you go, oh, bubba, you do this. And I say, dude, that took me back to freshman year, Seminole State College. Like. And I was like, dude, I remember you used to ask me that. Anyway, let's get us out of here, man.

[B]

That is unbelievable. But we absolutely love each and every single one of you if you are watching this right now. We just got back from four banger shows. Boston, Chicago, Columbus, and Orlando. Thank you so much. Y' all are fan fantastic. And we have one city left domestically at the time of this. Right now, there's a couple tickets. But when y' all are watching this, I don't know, it could be sold out. But hit that second link. The first. Sorry, first link in the bio. Dallas. I mean, I'm. I'm like, I'm stroking out. I'm stroking out. What?

[A]

I was just. I was making.

[B]

Oh, oh, okay. Dallas, Texas, July 25th. That is our last show domestically. Then we're going across the pond. We're going to the uk. Hey, we're having Aussies.

[A]

We're having an after party. Well, I don't know. We got. We should. We should have been set up already. But we're having a party. After party. We're more.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

We're having Dallas.

[B]

It's gonna be crazy. I don't know where fun. So make sure you get your ticket to that. But also, if you're not in the Koala Club, you're absolutely tripping. Literally. Ask any Koala Club member and they will say it is worth it. And it's an amazing community over there. And we put so much. There's on there.

[A]

There's some people that. In the Patreon I love, they go. I forgot they have a YouTube channel.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like, there's so much just live on the Patreon. It's basically a Netflix over there. Just. Why imagine Netflix? But all the shows are wise.

[B]

Yeah, there's a. So you have an entire other episode every week. You have sometimes. Yeah, sometimes two. You have exclusive.

[A]

If you're royalty, you have an exclusive

[B]

live stream every single month. You have an exclusive episode just for you every single month. You have Dr. P's, you have conspiracies, you have TMTs, you have food feuds, you have games, you have challenges, you have vlogs. I mean, it's a lot. It's a lot. Go check it out for yourself. We love you. Confuse the casuals. Get the karma. This week's secret karma code.

[A]

Oh, do we do something about be nice to Payton during live streams. How was this episode?

[B]

Pls, please, pls. Peyton, livestream.

[A]

Payton livestream.

[B]

Peyton, livestream. Please, Pls.

[A]

One out of two clobbers. I'm out of Christmas and we'll see you.

[B]

Yeah, I was butt naked. Dropped to my knees next time.

[A]

That's why I have the bruise. That's so funny.

[B]

So I have the bruise.