THE TRAUMA CANDY CHALLENGE! -You Should Know Podcast-

Summary

You Should Know Podcast – Episode 217

Title: THE TRAUMA CANDY CHALLENGE!
Date: May 18, 2026
Hosts: Peyton Hardin & Cameron Kennedy (Wood Elf Media)

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Episode Overview

In their signature, off-the-rails, confessional style, Peyton and Cam tackle “The Trauma Candy Challenge,” a TikTok-inspired game where each person shares a childhood trauma along with their favorite (or most nostalgic) candy. Along the way, the best friends veer into hilarious, revealing side stories about airport mishaps, family quirks, Miami celebrity encounters, and childhood mishaps. As always, their banter is relentlessly honest, loaded with friendly insults, and peppered with the kind of wild tangents only two lifelong friends could pull off.

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Key Segments & Discussion Highlights

1. Name Debates, Mic Mayhem, and Mono (02:22–07:10)

• Peyton and Cam open with a repartee on mics: Peyton claims Cam breaks every mic stand (“14 zip ties keep it together”) while Cam protests his innocence.
• The duo then spiral into a joke about mono (“mono’s the kissing thing… mono is meningitis. That cannot be correct.” – Cam, 05:13), leading to a riff about weird nickname logic.
• Peyton tries to prove “Xavier goes by Alex,” drawing skepticism and laughter from Cam.

Notable quote (05:55):
Cam: “From now on, I’m cohost Tom. I’m cohost Tom.”

2. Couch Potatoes and Background Noise Shows (07:23–10:28)

• Peyton’s admitted comfort-watching Harvey Specter highlights from "Suits" leads to a discussion about “background noise shows.”
• Both confess to using “The Office,” “Parks and Rec,” and “Suits” as TV comfort food.
• Cam jokes about petting his dog Ruby during these sessions, while Peyton makes fun of Cam’s dog-parenting mishaps.

Timestamped moment (09:05):
Cam: “You can sit on your couch and be a little cute and sexy—that’s what I need: Harvey Specter highlights, background noise.”

3. Miami F1 Weekend – Awkward Recognitions (12:00–21:35)

• Peyton recounts his recent Miami Formula 1 trip with Gillette and Audi.
• He’s repeatedly recognized in the worst possible ways (“Didn’t recognize you—you used to be fat, man” – 20:35), often in front of brand reps and celebrities.
• Cam feeds Peyton’s embarrassment but admits Miami “has the sexiest people” he’s ever seen, including an especially attractive cop.

Standout quote (16:19):
Peyton: “There’s a cop that was at my lunch. If he pulled the belt buckle down, he would've got it. I mean, he was hot. Like a swole Bad Bunny.”

4. Bread & Butter vs. Chips & Salsa: The Great Appetizer Debate (24:04–31:00)

• Peyton interrupts Cam to pose an age-old foodie debate: which is better, complimentary bread & butter or chips & salsa at a restaurant?
• Cam is firmly Team Chips & Salsa; Peyton is staunchly Bread & Butter.
• The argument devolves into playful insults, accusations of lying, and a running joke about Cam’s eating habits.
• Both make hilarious, over-the-top defenses of their preferences, with tangent arguments about culinary “variability” and “kick technique” (32:21).

Funny moment (27:02):
Peyton: “There is more variations for greatness in a bread than in chips and salsa.”

Cam: “Variations of greatness … but that just goes to show—salsa can be crazy thick, crazy thin, hella spicy, perfect blend, heavy on the salt, heavy on the lime…”

5. Dog Stories: Walks, Doggy Jail, and Neighborhood Drama (36:03–44:52)

• Cam tells a story about getting shown up by a dog-walker with big dogs vs. his small dog, Ruby.
• Peyton recounts his old dog Malcolm’s run-in with a neighbor’s dog—leading to “doggy jail,” a canine holding facility for biting.
• The boys riff on the absurdity and backstory of “dog jail,” with Peyton explaining the real emotional toll.
• Cam reflects on the oddities of American animal law.

Notable quote (41:33):
Peyton: “Yeah, they put Malcolm in the back of a truck, like a van, and took him to this vet resort type of thing where he was locked up in a kennel for two weeks … It’s real, bro.”

6. The Invention Conspiracy – Staircases, Double Deckers, Banks, and Hiking (48:17–56:44)

• Peyton and Cam both launch into a “conspiracy theory” about who invented stairs, double-decker buses (“voodoo,” “from Satan”) and other everyday objects.
• Tangent: Their failed attempts to hike, with Peyton describing a disastrous LA date that led to a hike up Runyon rather than a lounge or drinks.
• Extended riff on the weirdness of sperm banks (“Imagine going to a specimen bank and then back to the lobby…” – 56:03)

Memorable line (55:24):
Peyton: “If we go hiking, you’re going to smell my scrotum from the top of the mountain to the bottom.”

7. Trauma Candy Challenge (78:38–94:33)

• The main game! The rules: Share a personal trauma along with your chosen “candy.”
• Peyton’s controversial first pick: Big Red gum, which sparks a technical, heated debate over whether gum counts as candy.
  • Trauma: “My mom gave me Big Red instead of normal candy.”
• Cam’s pick: Goobers (chocolate-covered peanuts).
  • Trauma: Dog bite leads to dental injury, making him eat chicken nuggets with a spoon as a child.
• Peyton’s next: Werther’s Originals (“grandma” candy).
  • Trauma: Dropped grandma’s shih-tzu trying to see if dogs land on their feet.
• Cam brings Haribo Gummy Bears.
  • Trauma: Thanksgiving overeating from pressure not to waste food, then throwing up on Black Friday at Walmart.
• Peyton: Watermelon hard candies (“church grandma” candy).
  • Trauma: Families above them in an apartment sacrificed a goat, blood dripping onto their balcony (“A little bit hit me in the forehead...”). Bonus: mom once stuck gum on his forehead in church for chewing during service.
• Cam: Mini Snickers.
  • Trauma: Childhood “flash baptism” at church—he failed to go through with it due to a fear of water.
• Banter devolves into generational candy differences, church trauma, and a hilarious comparison of “old people” candies vs. modern favorites.

Notable exchanges:

• Cam (84:18): “I got a dog bite and I messed my own grill up off of Chicken Nuggies.”
• Peyton (91:25): “The family above me…sacrificed a goat on the balcony…a little bit hit me in the forehead.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Cam, on airport woes (65:10): “American Airlines, bro. The worst airline ever. The delay if the sun’s too bright.”
• Peyton, on sketchy tickets (68:09): “Fort Lauderdale Airport is like a trap house ... it smells like Black & Mild in here.”
• Peyton, on his 'front row' seat (70:35): “The front wall had a peephole for the flight attendant—she would do this to check and see if everybody’s alive.”
• On baptism trauma (94:16):
  Cam: “On the spot baptism. A) I don’t have a change of clothes. B) I don’t know how to swim yet. … I said, I’m not ready for God yet because I was afraid of the water.”
• On trauma candy (89:43):
  Cam: “If you took you out of the mix and just looked at that couch—Werther’s Originals, the OG Strawberries, and Big Red…that is Uncle Calvin right there.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment/Story | |------------|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:22 | Mic stand drama, mono, nickname logic banter | | 07:23 | Couch comfort-watching, “background noise” TV | | 12:00 | Miami F1 trip, awkward recognitions, hottest people in Miami | | 24:04 | Bread vs chips + salsa debate, segue into “variability” debate | | 36:03 | Dog walking story, humiliations, “doggy jail” explained | | 48:17 | Invention “conspiracy”, stairs, double decker buses, hiking | | 56:01 | Sperm banks, specimen banks, awkward donation scenarios | | 78:38 | Trauma Candy Challenge game: sharing trauma + nostalgic/odd candies | | 91:25 | Goat sacrifice apartment trauma story | | 94:11 | Cam’s “baptism trauma” (flash baptism fear of water) |

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Overall Tone & Style

• Language/Tone: Wild, irreverent, tangential, affectionate ribbing with moments of unexpected depth. Much of the humor is based on the intimacy and shared history of the hosts, with frequent callbacks and in-jokes.
• Atmosphere: Lively, “anything goes,” with both heartfelt and utterly outlandish anecdotes.
• Takeaway: The episode’s strength is in transforming mundane and painful childhood memories (and minor recent mishaps) into a hilarious game among friends, encouraging listeners to laugh at their own traumas and appreciate the sweetness (and strangeness) of their upbringings.

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Summary for New Listeners

This episode is classic “You Should Know” — if you want a fast-moving, hilarious glimpse into the chaotic minds of Peyton and Cam, Episode 217 delivers it all. From Miami VIP embarrassment and airline nightmares to a TikTok therapy game exposing generational divides (and questionable candy choices), this is two best friends doing what they do best: making embarrassing stories relatable, and turning pain into punchlines.

Transcript

[Payton]

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[Cam]

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[Cam]

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[Payton]

Who you telling?

[Cam]

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[Payton]

Now on to the rest of the episode. My first candy is Big Red.

[Cam]

It's literally gum. That's not candy.

[Payton]

Maybe that's my first drama. My mom gave me Big Red as candy.

[Cam]

Yeah, you. When trick or treat said, no, I didn't get any cobalt mint. No wrigleys.

[Payton]

You kick weird. You kick with your feet.

[Cam]

What the hell am I supposed to kick with? My elbow? And something incredible about that is, not only is he wearing my underwear, they're inside out. He's wearing my underwear inside out.

[Payton]

The you should know podcast. Hey, everybody. Welcome Back to you SNL podcast, episode 217. We got co host Kev back in the studio. Is that a single leg takedown that we're working on?

[Cam]

That's a little faint. That's a faint. Just go in real nice and aggressive. A lot of foot slapping. It's like good old wwe.

[Payton]

Yeah, dude. Okay, so there's a problem with your microphone. It's been an outstanding problem for a while.

[Cam]

It has been for some would say too long.

[Payton]

If you're in the Patreon, you know that cam, like messes with his mic 247 and he breaks every single mic stand that he's ever had. So you can't see on the camera, but there is 14 zip ties that are like keeping this thing together. And I cut the edges off so they're super sharp. So if he tries to fidget, then

[Cam]

it's like the bird spikes they put on a light pole. It's like just a complete deterrent. I don't fidget with my mic. Over here, this mic stand, somehow someone messes it up, they go, oh, let's put it on. Okay, I'm spot. And then it's sitting there. I don't. I don't destroy mics. Okay. I don't destroy Mike. Okay.

[Payton]

I'm just saying, every mic stand that we've had to switch out has come from this side of the set.

[Cam]

Now there's one factual, factual thing. It was your mic and we switched over here.

[Payton]

Dude.

[Cam]

Oh, dude.

[Payton]

What?

[Cam]

Oh, you're gonna wrestle me butt naked with oil? What are you gonna do about it?

[Payton]

No, I would love to do that if we were happy. But right now we're not happy time. That's happy time things. But it was the old mic stands. Yes. That happened with the old mic. These are new. And that was in 2019. Cam grow up. We were boys.

[Cam]

I just said there was. I just said there was one factual time that happened. You really said. I kind of went up. I'm give it to you. And I went, all right.

[Payton]

Oh, no, 100%. But that's an outlying circumstance. That's like. If you're like. That's saying like, I got mono one time, but you're walking around giving everybody. That's different. Like, that's not the same, bro.

[Cam]

I'm just over here. You're just like, oh, wait, monos. You can't sleep.

[Payton]

No, mono's the kissing. Mono's the kissing thing. It's like an upper respiratory infection. I believe that's like a little more extreme.

[Cam]

But do they call it mono because it's just you. Why is it mono?

[Payton]

Mono is meningitis. That's what it's short for.

[Cam]

That cannot be correct.

[Payton]

I know, it's a bag.

[Cam]

Mono is not short for meningitis. Where the hell does mono come from? Meningitis. Mono.

[Payton]

It's like the short term form of it. It's like Xavier. It's like. No, it's like the same thing with Alex and Xavier. Because Xavier is the big name. You call an Xavier Alex.

[Cam]

You would go to a court of law and say, I, Peyton Steven Harden, know a man named Xavier and I call him Alex.

[Payton]

Yes, I've met an Xavier. And I said, what's your name, bro? And he goes, alex. Really? It's Xavier. And I go, what's up, Alex?

[Cam]

All right, from now on, I'm co host Tom. I'm co host Tom.

[Payton]

It's the same thing with Bob and William. No, they're completely. They sound completely different, but it's the short version. Like Richard and Dick.

[Cam]

Richard and Dick is a real one. Xavier and Alex.

[Payton]

William and Bob is a real one.

[Cam]

Xavier and Alex is as real as Willy Wonka's golden ticket. That has never happened.

[Payton]

They actually did sell the Willy Wonka's golden ticket.

[Cam]

Not from Willy Wonka. He's fictional. Just like this Alex guy you talk about. And Xavier would be do with me. Ready?

[Payton]

X.

[Cam]

You call the guy X. Xavier X. Alex. No, no, no.

[Payton]

Time out. Name a guy you've ever called X in real life X.

[Cam]

Or I don't know, you probably met in one. Xavier in my entire life. And he went by Xavier because that's his legal name.

[Payton]

Yeah, but. Okay, but you didn't matter if you

[Cam]

call him J. Hmm.

[Payton]

That's different.

[Cam]

Devin. You call people ad. Come here. That.

[Payton]

No, no, no, that's slang.

[Cam]

Xavier X.

[Payton]

That's slang.

[Cam]

I never go. The guy's name's Devin. I never go, hey, Charles.

[Payton]

That's. No. Okay, but you're. You're. Now you're just being fugazi and filling it up.

[Cam]

What was that? Filleting it up.

[Payton]

But I'm saying I'm using actual litigation, like things that are in the court of law.

[Cam]

No, it's. No, it's not. This is not litigation, bro. Oh, no, no, no. I'm getting on.

[Payton]

Richard and Dick is the same thing.

[Cam]

Richard and Dick. I already. I've conceived, so I'm saying.

[Payton]

So that's a real thing. William and Bob is a real thing. Xavier and Alex is a real thing.

[Cam]

I'm 50 on that. Bob and Will. I'm 50 on the Will and Bob.

[Payton]

It's a real thing. I'm not even. No pot. It's a real thing.

[Cam]

No, no. You know what it is? Honest to God. Can I tell you what it is?

[Payton]

What?

[Cam]

I walked into this man's house the other day. I showed up because we had a meeting about tour. When I walked in, no one. Was no one else in the house. C.J. was out doing something.

[Payton]

No, C.J. was in the house. He just didn't know.

[Cam]

Yeah, he was probably just in, like, a closet or something. Just, like, sitting up there, just, like, being himself. Good for you. Sarah was gone. Yeah. This man kicked up like this on his own. A massive couch, by the way, and he took up so little.

[Payton]

First of all, don't reveal my comfortable.

[Cam]

He literally was watching his own TV like this, on a couch that can sit 12. He was like this. He was taking up. He was taking up half a seat, a bag of. Of Quest chips.

[Payton]

Protein chips. Yeah. You can tell it in my physique.

[Cam]

Harvey Spectre highlights on YouTube. He's watching highlights of Harvey Specter from the series Suits. Yes, and now I understand why you use the word litigation. You're not a lawyer. Your name's not Harvey. Leave that to him. Who does that? Who does that? Lawyer. Highlights from a show.

[Payton]

And just to prove my point, Harvey. Another name you can use is Vinnie.

[Cam]

Don't. You don't.

[Payton]

Dario's over there.

[Cam]

Name a Vinnie. Harvey you've met. Name a Harvey.

[Payton]

Vinnie. Name of Vinnie.

[Cam]

You've met Vin Diesel. Vinnie.

[Payton]

You've met him.

[Cam]

No, no at all. He watched Harvey Specter Highlights.

[Payton]

Yeah, I love watching because. Okay, that's more of a commitment issue that.

[Cam]

No.

[Payton]

Cause sometimes, like, I, I. I want to watch suits for the vibe and, like, the good moments, but I don't Want to sit there for like the buildup like of the show, you know, Because I've already watched the show three times. I know what I like, I know what seasons I want to go like, you know what I mean? I' noise and vibes. So I'm gonna put on background noise.

[Cam]

My feet were tucked in your chest eating chips. No, no. Phone in your hand, which is a miracle. And you were watching RV Spectre.

[Payton]

I just turned it on like this. You caught me at a bad moment.

[Cam]

Like a 16 year old girl. Like she.

[Payton]

You look like you caught me at a bad moment. You definitely got me out of bad mind.

[Cam]

You enjoyed every second.

[Payton]

Oh, I loved it. But you got me at a bad moment. Normally I have a phone in my hand and I'm like doom scrolling or like going through emails. But it's a good vibe for that. Like if you're like going through emails and like you can sit on your couch and be a little cute and sexy, like that's what I' Harvey Specter highlights background noise.

[Cam]

Okay. Background. Accept background noise. Acceptable shows.

[Payton]

I want you to get through that one more time with that sound. Like I'm a stroke.

[Cam]

Background noise. Acceptable shows.

[Payton]

That was almost stroke. Here we go.

[Cam]

Background noise. Acceptable shows.

[Payton]

Yes.

[Cam]

Include the likes of suits. I'll give you that. The office, everything like that. But the term background noise or background

[Payton]

noise shows only good if they're like in an office environment or like a.

[Cam]

What's another one? Parks and Rec.

[Payton]

That's also an office.

[Cam]

What's another good background?

[Payton]

It takes place in Corporate America. Is the only place.

[Cam]

It's just so monotonous.

[Payton]

Yeah, it's like, it's like you're like whatever you hear a printer and a staple machine, you can get your locked in.

[Cam]

But they're made for background noise. Yeah, you turn it on when you got to do the dishes, you got to scratch the underbelly of the little pooch. That's.

[Payton]

That was insane. I've never scratched my dog like that.

[Cam]

I go, let's turn on episode three of the Office.

[Payton]

I'm not gonna say that I haven't seen you do that with your dog, but I'm not gonna say I haven't seen you do that.

[Cam]

I scratch, I give, I give. Ruby fantastic undercarriage.

[Payton]

Is Ruby still okay?

[Cam]

She's good. She's doing good. Didn't she just get found with something? Pancreatitis.

[Payton]

Yeah.

[Cam]

Oh, then she also ate a plastic macaroni noodle the other day. Macaroni, Macaroni noodle. Macaroni Noodle.

[Payton]

Spinarooni.

[Cam]

Spinarooni, Dude. Oh, dude, no.

[Payton]

Booger, dude.

[Cam]

WWE's too corporate.

[Payton]

Hey, don't. We're not gonna get into that right now. We're not gonna get into that right now.

[Cam]

I got some questions for you, but

[Payton]

I'm so sorry about Ruby. I mean, that's stage one.

[Cam]

I mean, stage one. Yeah, we're all breed. It's common in small breeds. We fed her too much human food in her developmental years, and now she's just such a tiny, minuscule pancreas. When she eats human food, it flares up and she poops blood.

[Payton]

Yeah, but I'm saying stage one. Okay, all right.

[Cam]

She doesn't.

[Payton]

I love camps.

[Cam]

Prescription food and treats now, though.

[Payton]

Yeah, prescription treats is insane.

[Cam]

I literally can't buy my dog treats unless I show her prescription ID card.

[Payton]

And you have the nerve to correct me when I said that's stage one of the dog?

[Cam]

That's not stage one. That's just her lie.

[Payton]

Yeah, you're.

[Cam]

You have to have a prescription to get your contacts. It's not me going, oh, stage one, you're losing your sight.

[Payton]

No, if I had to do, like, prescription desserts, then you'd be like, oh, something's going on with Peyton.

[Cam]

Oh, yeah, well, that's true. Yeah, that's a good point.

[Payton]

Okay. But speaking of Vin Diesel.

[Cam]

Speaking of Vin Diesel, we talked about it for two seconds.

[Payton]

Yeah, but I initially wanted to transition when you said it there.

[Cam]

Okay.

[Payton]

I went to Miami this last weekend or two weekends ago for whenever y' all are seeing this because we're pre recording his cam's about to have a kid. So I went to Miami this last weekend for Formula one. I was there with Gillette and Audi. So it was really good time. Thank you for having me.

[Cam]

Peep the hat. Peep the hat. Show that hat. Show them that little hat. Yeah. Yeah.

[Payton]

I had a fantastic time, man. Yeah. I was wondering if you're going to ask me anything because I haven't talked to you about anything.

[Cam]

I was going to, but then I realized, wait, I've called him three times on this trip and he didn't answer a single one. But then the part, the most of all evidence was we hung out with. With your girl one day, and all of a sudden, green ring. Green, green, green, green. Call from you to your girl. No, call back to your boy.

[Payton]

So, yeah.

[Cam]

Tell me about your trip. Oh, tell me. Tell me about your. Tell me about your trip that you were just. I mean, just slammed.

[Payton]

Slammed. I was slammed.

[Cam]

8am to 12am slammed. I can't even touch my phone. But I'm calling.

[Payton]

No, I can send you my itinerary. It was pretty busy.

[Cam]

I'm calling Sara.

[Payton]

No. Well, okay, because. So you call me like an idiot. Like, you always call me at the worst times ever.

[Cam]

Do I have your itinerary?

[Payton]

You should have.

[Cam]

Yeah, I should have, but I don't. How do I know it's the worst time to call you?

[Payton]

Because if I'm on a brand trip during Formula one and it's the Saturday of the race and the race starts at 1pm probably don't call me at 1:05. Right. That makes sense.

[Cam]

Hey, I don't know what time the race is. I want to be more considerate, maybe

[Payton]

give a little more effort. So don't get mad whenever I'm not answering you and I'm doing something that's besides the point. Let me talk about me for a second.

[Cam]

Okay, go.

[Payton]

And so whenever I got done with my day, I don't want to talk to Cam and learn about your insurance. I want to actually hear from my sexy, hot wife. Like, Cam called me yesterday. It was Monday Night Raw. Or I don't know when it was. The other day he called me and, oh, my God, he knows I watch Monday Night Raw every. What day?

[Cam]

Monday.

[Payton]

Monday Night raw starts at 7pm this calls me every Monday at 7:05. That every day I'm not answering.

[Cam]

That's bad. That is. I. I will concede to that. Okay, so don't know what it is. It's Monday nights. I get an itch to talk to you. It's always about 705, 7:15. Always dial, never get an answer. And I go, oh, that's right, Ross.

[Payton]

Yeah. So I, I, I hung up the call. But anyway, the brand trip, the. The F1. It was really fun.

[Cam]

It was fantastic. It looked, first off, look. Looked crazy. Incredible. It looked. I'm talking sexy. I looked so, bro. I was, like, trying to, like, not live through your stories, but, like, look at all the details.

[Payton]

That. That track, the Miami track, is insane.

[Cam]

Beautiful.

[Payton]

Beautiful.

[Cam]

I thought that was water.

[Payton]

Yeah, it looked like. I literally thought it was.

[Cam]

I was like, are you driving subs?

[Payton]

Yeah. So we're. If you don't know anything about Formula one, we're not going to bore you to death with any Formula one details. There's a fantastic race, though. Oh, my God, what a good race. But I was. They had us at turn one, which is like, prime time, like, prime spot for Formula one races. But I was in Miami for Four days. Anyway,

[Cam]

He's still going, so turning up another notch.

[Payton]

So I went. I was in Miami for four days. I landed there on a Thursday, right? And I returned on a Monday. On a Sunday, very late. Yeah, late.

[Cam]

I mean, Monday if you count AM Hours.

[Payton]

Yeah. Midnight. So Thursday, right. We had a plan to go to lunch and a dinner, right? So I land. I'm by myself and doing ever. It's time to go meet up for the lunch. It's my first time in Miami. First of all, Miami has the sexiest people I've ever seen. And I'm not joking. Like, just every look, the hottest people I have ever seen in my life. As soon as I like got out of the airport and into like the Uber, I was. I looked out, I was like, holy. This is my. This is my Explore page from 2020. Like, this is the hottest people I've ever. Like, the sexiest people. Like, everybody's guys too. Oh, yeah, there's. There's a cop that was at my lunch. I mean, I would. I mean, if he pulled the belt buckle down, he would have got it. Like. I mean, he was hot. Like, dude, like, he was like a swole bad bunny.

[Cam]

I mean, that's a. I would have switched sides for him off of that alone. I mean, that guy, he's. He's gorgeous.

[Payton]

Oh, my God. And he. And he had a toothpick in his mouth with a mustache. I was like, oh, you're Miami.

[Cam]

He's a prick. You know, you're a 10.

[Payton]

I was like, you break my heart.

[Cam]

Yeah, you ruined my day. Ruined my life.

[Payton]

So I'm at the lunch, right? And first time in Miami, it's a poolside lunch. Like, there's yachts going by, just women twerking, cargo ships.

[Cam]

Probably go to Miami.

[Payton]

It was great. And so I'm sitting there watching the view just like this. Yeah. I'm. I'm eating sushi on the ocean, like, looking at the view of the twerking and the music. And I was like, this is fantastic. And our waiter comes by. First of all, I got recognized in the worst ways in Miami. As I'm sitting at this lunch, the waiter comes by and I'm with everybody on the brand trip, right? Waiter comes by, goes, man, I know you from somewhere. I know you.

[Cam]

I always hate that too. In front of others.

[Payton]

And I go, ah, man, you know, I'm not. Cause it could be awkward where you think I'm somebody else. There's a lot of tall, sexy, light skinned guys out there. And I could just Be blending in. And so, yeah, with the likes of,

[Cam]

I don't know, Tatum. I don't know me. That's about it. Yeah.

[Payton]

It's like, oh no, I'm not Michael Porter Jr. So he goes, I know you from somewhere. I go, I don't know, man. I'm taking Leno.

[Cam]

Yeah.

[Payton]

The approach.

[Cam]

If you say it, I'll go with it. But I'm not, I'm not throwing out the line. I'm not saving the brand.

[Payton]

People are like, oh yeah, you should

[Cam]

have told me who you were.

[Payton]

And I'm like, no, man, it's whatever. He comes back after the launch. He goes, I know where I know you. You got the podcast. And I go, yeah, that's me. And he goes, I didn't recognize you because your voice sounds really weird in person. I said, really sorry.

[Cam]

Yeah, really?

[Payton]

He goes, my new acquaintances. And I go, oh yeah, just woke up.

[Cam]

Oh yeah, right. Sorry.

[Payton]

No, I go, oh yeah, I just woke up. He goes, no, it's not that. It's like, it's like wheel. Something's off.

[Cam]

I said, what the man you're getting prosecuted in front of your, your whole the brand trip. He's just going in on you.

[Payton]

Yeah. And he goes. And you were like really quiet here. You're normally like funny on the podcast. What the man. Fast forward a couple days later, we're in the Paddock Club. F1. This is basically like the backstage, right? I'm sitting there. I mean, Charles leclerc, everybody. Lewis Hamilton is like, is walking by. I'm eating right?

[Cam]

Lewis Hamilton sounds like a Confederate general. That's what Lewis Hamilton sounds. He sounds like he rode a horse into one of the Carolinas and committed a battle.

[Payton]

You know, his real name is Sir Lewis Hamilton.

[Cam]

He's a Confederate general. 100% sir Lewis Hamilton.

[Payton]

Here.

[Cam]

Charge. That's what he sounds like.

[Payton]

A billionaire, sexy, light skinned guy for Ferrari. Like he's dates Kim Kardashian.

[Cam]

Actually he's. Whoa. Yeah, two things, you caught me off guard there. Dates a Kardashian, let alone Kim light skin.

[Payton]

He's like, well, he's. He's not light skinned, but he's like. He's. He's a fair skinned gentleman, but yeah, black dude with braids.

[Cam]

Just hot.

[Payton]

I mean, he's hot. I bet billionaire too. Anyway, he's not actually a billionaire, but he's up there. Anyway, I was eating this dinner in the Paddock Club, right? This is exclusive area, right? So I mean there's absolutely famous people back here. Like name any Famous person. They're back here. Jimmy Fallon, DJ Khaled, like, everybody. Anybody you could possibly think of. Jack Black. Everybody's back here, right?

[Cam]

Brock Lesnar.

[Payton]

Shut up. And so I'm just normal Payton from the podcast. No one should talk to me, right? This guy comes to the table and he goes, man, I know you.

[Cam]

You go, I'm out for one. You better get to it.

[Payton]

He goes, I know you. And I go, man, it could be from a plethora of things. He goes, do you do videos or something? I have a pot. And I go, yeah, yeah, I have a podcast. I have a podcast.

[Cam]

You go, my voice. And my throat's a little scratchy, though.

[Payton]

And he goes. He goes, yeah, you do have the podcast. I do know you. And I was like, yeah, man, nice to meet you. He goes, but hey, I don't mean to sound offensive. You used to be fat.

[Cam]

P. P. You are lying.

[Payton]

Say you're lying right now on everything I love, man. You used to be fat, man.

[Cam]

Oh, boys, we lost him. I said, he's not having a cookie for another three months. We can't hang out with him.

[Payton]

I said, what? And he goes, you did. You lose, like, a ton of weight?

[Cam]

You're like, you were never that big. Oh, my God. He said, no. Like, bro, you should be like a fat, right? Like, you the fat.

[Payton]

Yeah. He's like, you know you lost a ton of weight, right? And I go, a ton is a lot now.

[Cam]

A ton. Really?

[Payton]

I go, yeah, I've been a little bit of a deficit.

[Cam]

I'm hitting abs. I'm eating clean.

[Payton]

Yeah. And so what the hell is wrong

[Cam]

with Miami, by the way?

[Payton]

I mean, I got recognized a couple more times outside of that, but, like, those are the times in front of, like, the important people that, you know, that's another thing.

[Cam]

These aren't like one on one, like mono Emano conversations.

[Payton]

No, this is in a group of a group setting.

[Cam]

Like you, bro, you used to be, like, large, right? Like, dude, you're fat. Lost a lot of weight. Congrats, bro.

[Payton]

It used to be, like, morbid.

[Cam]

Yeah.

[Payton]

Yeah. And so that was. That was the first story. I'll tell a story later about Miami and why. Return back is literally the craziest one of the crazy stories I have. But other than that, on a.

[Cam]

On a plane.

[Payton]

On a plane. It's another pain place. We are cursed.

[Cam]

I think you to a point. It's almost. Would it be karmic?

[Payton]

Who's that?

[Cam]

Like, karma, but, like, it's not a

[Payton]

karma because I Didn't do anything. It's just like.

[Cam]

Well, you've done some things.

[Payton]

No, no, no, no.

[Cam]

You basically, your pants on, Dominic Mysterio. You've done so.

[Payton]

Yeah, that was a problem.

[Cam]

I should have done it. And insert karma.

[Payton]

The you should know podcast.

[Cam]

This episode is brought to you by Manscaped, the men's grooming brand trusted by over 13 million men worldwide. Guys, Father's Day is coming up, and again, it's the same problem every single year. What do I give my dad? Does he need another drill? Do I just buy him, like, some tire wipes for his car? What about a little quarter vest? Stop with all that. You don't want to get your dad a gift that just ends up in another drawer, another cabinet, or in the back of his trunk and he never sees it again. If your dad has a beard or if you have a beard, the beard Hedger plus is a solid upgrade without breaking the bank on the beard. Hedger plus, you get 14 different length settings. That is a lot of length settings. You can go from a perfect little stubble all the way to a full James Harden or a lumberjack, if you know what I'm saying. The blade features a 33 millimeter stainless steel square blade with a tight gap, which means a more precise and clean shave. And as always, it's manscaped, so you already know that thing is waterproof. So this Father's Day, skip the boring gifts and get your dad something he'll actually use. In love. Head over to manscape.com use code YSK for 15% off plus free shipping. That is 15% off your entire order plus free shipping with our code ysk manscaped.com. or if you need it right now, you can also find Manscape at a store near you. Thank you, Manscape. And on to the rest of the

[Payton]

episode, the you should know podcast. Did you do anything this weekend?

[Cam]

Not nothing, nothing crazy nothing. Guinness Book of World Record esque. We went to eat, dude. Oh, my God. I'll tell you. Oh, shut up.

[Payton]

Speaking of, I had. Dude. Okay. Oh, I'm so sorry to interrupt you. I know. I love. I know. I lobbed you to bring up a

[Cam]

topic like an interrupt.

[Payton]

You screamed yes because it reminded me I was forgetting this, and I knew there was something that I wanted to bring to the podcast. And this is it. And it is about eating out.

[Cam]

I hope this is a dinger because you just screamed in my face.

[Payton]

So sorry. But it is about you because you're fat. But Chris, who works at the circuit, he brought this up on his social media and I thought it was the best, like debate ever. And it's about eating out. Okay.

[Cam]

Oh, God.

[Payton]

An appetizer for a restaurant. Which one is better? Oh, bread and butter or chips and salsa?

[Cam]

Chips and salsa, dude.

[Payton]

I knew you were going to say that. And this is why. It's.

[Cam]

Bread and butter is fantastic. There's no. No shame in the game. Don't hate the player. But that's like. That's a goat.

[Payton]

No chips. Bread and butter is 100% better than chips and salsa at a restaurant.

[Cam]

You're. You're simply out of your absolute light skinned mind. You are.

[Payton]

That is bringing race into it is crazy.

[Cam]

Why chips and salsa is. Chips and salsa is the pinnacle of a appetizer. It is on. It is unbelievable.

[Payton]

I dare say artichoke dip is better than the chips and salsa, but an

[Cam]

artichoke dip and any other dip is in the same family. If we don't serve.

[Payton]

No, we're just talking about chips and salsa. You can't take over the other ones.

[Cam]

Still chips and salsa. Chips, salsa. Go, go grab 13. Go grab 13 fresh organic things from the earth. Blend them up, put them in a bowl and give me a nice little tortilla.

[Payton]

I have never. My God, Watch this. Just based off this reaction, I have never once gone to a restaurant, had a chips and salsa and sat back in my chair like this. I've never done that.

[Cam]

Then you're not eating the right salsa guy.

[Payton]

No, you're insane. You've never sat back in your seat and I've been eating with you at restaurants for years.

[Cam]

I used to go on dates with my father to Chili's. We would order nothing. We just get chips and salsa in a beverage and leave.

[Payton]

That's not what I'm saying. Do not convolute what I'm saying. I'm saying you have never got a chips and salsa and gone. Oh, my God, that's so good. You've never done it.

[Cam]

I have no.

[Payton]

But There's a higher percent rate.

[Cam]

100%.

[Payton]

There's 100% rate. A hundred percent. You have done that. Sit back, motion more with a bread and butter. Oh, yes, you have.

[Cam]

You can. Okay. For me it's both hundred percent for the other person. What is that for the other person? I can't speak on them. I have 100% been. Holy. That's some good salsa.

[Payton]

I can't.

[Cam]

Maybe, maybe I don't lean back because it's not a handheld. I got to keep going back and forth. The sauce on the table. I'm not sitting there with a bib drinking it out of a cup.

[Payton]

But I'm saying which of I can go. But I'm saying which. Have you done more chips and sauce? No, you have not, and you don't. Okay, we can't have this talk if you're not going to be honest.

[Cam]

Chips. Okay. Here's another thing.

[Payton]

I have seen you almost, like, literally almost.

[Cam]

And you want to know why? You want to know why?

[Payton]

No, listen. I've seen you literally have, like, an almost O face over a bread and butter at a restaurant. I have never seen you do it with chips and salsa. What I've seen you do with chips and salsa is scarf it. Now, that is one thing I've seen you do.

[Cam]

And why am I scarfing it?

[Payton]

Because it's lighter than a bread.

[Cam]

Cause I'm addicted to greatness. P. I can't get it out of my hand.

[Payton]

You got. Okay.

[Cam]

I literally can't stop eating the salsa. I can't quit. I lose all discipline and all mental capacity.

[Payton]

Okay, let's stick more to the broad debate of it, not just your personal. The broad debate of it. There is more variations for greatness in a bread than in chips and salsa.

[Cam]

Variations of greatness. The reason I do a face is because. Oh, my God, this bread has something different. It's great, variable, but that just goes to show all the other is the. It's the same. Oh, So I would argue so wrong. A salsa can be crazy thick, crazy thin, hella spicy, perfect blend, heavy on the salt, heavy on the line. Salsa, 100% like bleeding. A jalapeno bread. It's typically.

[Payton]

Oh, that's a roll. That's a roll. That's a roll.

[Cam]

You're either gonna have some cinnamon butter, or you're gonna be at a really nice steakhouse that did some little.

[Payton]

Off of this. Just off of this, imagine a Texas Roadhouse roll right now. Close your eyes.

[Cam]

Yes. Good.

[Payton]

Come on.

[Cam]

Shut up.

[Payton]

I'm not done. And then imagine. Imagine you go to Cheesecake Factory. You get that?

[Cam]

Yeah, that's good bread.

[Payton]

Oh, my God.

[Cam]

Dude, that's two breads that will put

[Payton]

you in a coma right now.

[Cam]

That's a good bread.

[Payton]

Oh, my God. And there's not a chips and salsa on this earth that competes with the highest of highest breads.

[Cam]

That's just not happening. That is. I mean, that's so. That is. That's beyond false. First off. First off, you can start at a humble. You can start at the humble abode of Chili's, your favorite family restaurant. Community bar.

[Payton]

Just showing that your top tier chip is Chili's. You're losing the debate.

[Cam]

No, no, no. I said you can start there. You don't have to. Okay, finish me then. Finish me off. I'll finish you right now. Finish me off.

[Payton]

Where you gonna finish me off at?

[Cam]

Pants off. I'll finish you.

[Payton]

Tell me what restaurant you finish me off at. Tell me what you want.

[Cam]

We could go any. Okay, first off, the mom and pop Mexican spots that have whatever name, they're not chained. Always fantastic salsa. Great. That's nothing. You're not going you to get a. To get a immaculate piece of bread. You said Cheesecake Factory. You go with a family of 10, you're dropping a bag. I'm going to Maria's and I'm spending $38 to feed the whole crew and I leave happy. And the sauce is immac it for you. The peak. Here's another thing. Salsa. You can get peak salsa at a very maintainable and affordable place. Peak bread. Peak bread. You're going to like a four star steakhouse.

[Payton]

Everybody has bread. Texas Roadhouse.

[Cam]

Texas. That's the bro. That is a roll. Which is bread and it's cinnamon butter.

[Payton]

Like, which is butter. Bread and butter.

[Cam]

It's just a variation they had, but they had to do opposite. They had to do two different things. They had to do two different things.

[Payton]

What's the different things? It's bread and butter.

[Cam]

It's a beautiful roll.

[Payton]

Which is bread.

[Cam]

That's bread. Yes, but cinnamon butter, which is what?

[Payton]

Butter.

[Cam]

I said.

[Payton]

What are you talking about?

[Cam]

I said that in the beginning.

[Payton]

So you're okay adding spice and avocados and chops and you all that.

[Cam]

That's speaking to the variability. The only.

[Payton]

Like, that's a variability.

[Cam]

What the are you talking about?

[Payton]

You just.

[Cam]

But that's what I said. I said unless they have a cinnamon butter, then eight times out of 10, it's bread and butter.

[Payton]

Yeah. Which is still better.

[Cam]

No, it is not. No, it's not. No, it is not. First off, the. When you eat bread and butter, you get two flavors. You're getting two, maybe three flavors. You're getting bread. Guess what the second one is really hard. Really hard. Quiz. You're getting butter, bro.

[Payton]

You're wrong. There's so much more bread variations and chip variations. You're always getting a chip. You can get a different. You can have the same butter with 48 different breads. And it's going to be a different taste.

[Cam]

I want you to name three different breads right now.

[Payton]

Ezekiel, White wheat, whole roll. That's different breads. That's different breads. I just named you Five. Roll, Bread. Whatever it's called.

[Cam]

Bread.

[Payton]

But it's all different breads. Name eight different chips right now. Go.

[Cam]

Fuzzies. Chipotle.

[Payton]

No, no. You're naming no actual chips. Not the name of the restaurant, idiot. Chips. Not fuzzy chips.

[Cam]

Fuzzy chips are fantastic.

[Payton]

You can't go buy fuzzy chips. I'm saying yes, you can name and name the actual chip. Like the tortilla. That kind of thing.

[Cam]

Every tortilla chip's a tortilla.

[Payton]

Exactly. So there's one. So there's one type of chip. There's 58 different types of breads. I win, you lose.

[Cam]

First off, that's not even a win or lose. You're speaking on the variability. Don't err out.

[Payton]

And variability makes greatness. That's why. That's why Jamie Foxx is great. He could sing, he could dance, he could act. Variability makes you better. You can't make variability seem like a bad thing. LeBron could shoot, he could drive. He's a three level scorer. He can defend.

[Cam]

That's fine.

[Payton]

That makes you better.

[Cam]

Don't be afraid of the man that practices a thousand different moves. Be afraid of the man that practices the same kick a thousand times.

[Payton]

First of all, you kick weird. You kick with your feet.

[Cam]

What the hell? Supposed to. Am I supposed to kick with my elbow? What do you mean? I kick with my feet. Any kick ever performed in the history of humanity is with your feet. You kick with your feet. A kick is with the foot.

[Payton]

Okay, let's calm down. Let's calm down. You do not kick with your feet. You kick with your leg.

[Cam]

Are y'. All. Is anyone else smelling toast? Am I.

[Payton]

Which is also a bread.

[Cam]

Am I stroking out? Toast is not. First off, toast is not a bread. Toast is something that happens to a bread. True, you can.

[Payton]

But that's a very. But you can only toast with a bread.

[Cam]

You can toast a Pop Tart.

[Payton]

That's not toast, though. That's a Pop Tart. That's a toasted Pop Tart.

[Cam]

Yes.

[Payton]

If you say, I want toast, you

[Cam]

get what you get bread.

[Payton]

Okay, shut the up and let's go with the kick.

[Cam]

But that's toasting the kick. You kick. What is that right there?

[Payton]

You kick. What are you moving?

[Cam]

I'm moving my knee and I move my foot.

[Payton]

Which is your leg?

[Cam]

Yeah.

[Payton]

Okay, let's calm down.

[Cam]

Let's calm.

[Payton]

Let's calm down.

[Cam]

Okay. Yeah.

[Payton]

Let's.

[Cam]

Let's calm down.

[Payton]

You're right.

[Cam]

If I said, kick that rock on the side of the street, are you hitting your shin on it or your foot?

[Payton]

Yes. That's a kick. So you're saying in the mma, whenever they throw a kick, they can't hit you with their shin right here in the. In the temple.

[Cam]

They can. That's perfectly fine.

[Payton]

That's a kick. Right. But you're saying I can't kick something with just without my foot. Yeah, you can. So you're saying if, God forbid, I got my foot cut off. Right. I can't kick anymore. Yes or no? Just yes or no.

[Cam]

If you got your foot cut off, could you still do the act of kicking?

[Payton]

Just say yes or no.

[Cam]

I'm gonna say yes. Okay.

[Payton]

If I got my leg cut off, could I still kick?

[Cam]

No. And something incredible about that is not only is he wearing my underwear, they're inside out. He's wearing my underwear inside out. And that is an actual fact. He has on my panties inside out. Like you just left a one night stand. After I get down, you got my panties inside out. How does that work? No, you bodied me on that. I just have to take that on the chin. But you see.

[Payton]

Oh, man, I want to sit in that. That felt. Man, that felt. Man, that felt good.

[Cam]

But you know the sentiment.

[Payton]

I know. Hey, buddy, it's over.

[Cam]

Don't budge me. Hey.

[Payton]

Hey, sport.

[Cam]

Don't little guy me.

[Payton]

Hey, squirt.

[Cam]

Don't sport or bud me. No, no.

[Payton]

You asked me to squirt.

[Cam]

I said. I said I took it on the chin and I gave you your props. I had accountability.

[Payton]

You asked me to squirt you. You took it on the chin, too.

[Cam]

Hit it. His legs are shaking. You were trying to be on your feet.

[Payton]

You were like this. Yeah. Oh, man.

[Cam]

No, you kind of ate with that one. But you kick a rock with your foot, you kick a ball.

[Payton]

No, you can kick your foot. Do you.

[Cam]

I already took it.

[Payton]

I'm just saying. Yeah, shut up.

[Cam]

But.

[Payton]

Shut up. Just make it easier on yourself and shut up. How about that? You should know Podcast this episode is brought to you by Factor. Guys, think about it. Close your eyes. Hunger strikes and you're exhausted. There's something healthy in your fridge or pantry that you should be making, but you just don't have it in you. For me, eating healthy isn't a willpower thing. I have the willpower. It's a setup problem. Until I found out about factor. I've been using FACTOR for years. I mean, Years before I even had a podcast. And it is one of the main reasons I am fit right now, because I've been on a super big health journey. I absolutely love Factor. Cam, tell them what factor is.

[Cam]

Factor has ready to eat meals that are built around your goals, whether that's weight loss, overall nutrition, you want more protein. They even have GLP1 support. Every single meal is crafted with functional ingredients. Lean proteins, colorful veggies, whole foods, and healthy fats.

[Payton]

The thing I love about Factor is it is fresh and never frozen with over 100 rotating weekly meals. I mean. And you can try their newly launched ready to eat salads.

[Cam]

Come on now.

[Payton]

It's ready in two minutes. Factor shops, preps, cooks, and delivers straight to your door so you have more time for everything you love in the spring. Come on now.

[Cam]

Talk to me.

[Payton]

Head to factor meals.com YSK50OFF and use code YSK50OFF to get 50 off in free daily greens per box with a new subscription only while supplies last until September 27, 2026. See website for more details. Now on to the rest of the episode. The you should know podcast.

[Cam]

Speaking of feet.

[Payton]

Oh, God, we're getting to a weird territory.

[Cam]

No, not my toe. Not the infected. Not the.

[Payton]

Not the same foot talk.

[Cam]

No, it's. It's not.

[Payton]

It's not okay.

[Cam]

It's just. It's more of be swept off your feet. Think of it like that. Me and my wife and my son went on a walk. We walked to the mailbox.

[Payton]

Your son didn't walk.

[Cam]

We give Malachi 10 minutes of sunlight a day. He's a ficus. No, we get. We take him on a walk.

[Payton]

Oh, dude.

[Cam]

He got sunburned the other day, woke up the next day. He was a little olive tent.

[Payton]

You have a white kid, bro. Just give it up.

[Cam]

That's fine.

[Payton]

We're gonna work on it. But can't work on that genetic. We're gonna.

[Cam]

I bought some things. We're gonna buy some ointments and creams. Yeah, but we took him on a walk. We took him on a walk. We're going to the mailbox. And I'm walking Ruby as my wife is pushing Malachi. Right? This fit. This family on the other side of the street, two big dogs, like a husky. And I want to say, I don't know the name of that. It's kind of like. It's like the weird. It's like the other husky. I know that sounds weird. It's another brand. There you go. Probably two huge dogs. They see Ruby. Ruby sees Them. And Ruby's done little dogs in there. Oh, dude, Napoleon out.

[Payton]

Yeah, yeah.

[Cam]

And now they're cool. Because I go, ruby, you don't want no part of that battle. You'd be a chew toy. And the dad starts laughing. How's your day? I said, they just take the joking. Keep going. But I was like, good. You're good. So now Ruby, feeling frisky, lunges at the dog. She starts walking across the street. I'm like, ruby, you're gonna die. Like, I mean, I can snatch it, but if they get off. So this guy has the leash that's, like, legit. Just a rope. Not retractable.

[Payton]

Like, that's big dog energy.

[Cam]

Bd. Big dog energy. Now he has it wrapped around his wrist.

[Payton]

Yeah.

[Cam]

His dog is. I mean, quite literally £80, bare minimum.

[Payton]

Right.

[Cam]

It completely jumps at Ruby. This guy was getting ragdolled by his dog.

[Payton]

Oh, dude, that's the worst.

[Cam]

It was the.

[Payton]

So embarrassing.

[Cam]

My emotions. I was like, holy, Is this happening? And then every part of the other side of my brain was laughing at this guy. He literally p. I'm talking. He was like. He was getting flung.

[Payton]

Yeah.

[Cam]

To the point where I saw him, like, clinch his mandible. He went. Put two hands on the leash, pulling the dog back. He was like, sorry. He never does this. Sorry. Sorry, y'. All. And I was just like, oh, dude.

[Payton]

And he.

[Cam]

And God bless him. Smaller guy, right? Nothing wrong with it. That dog is working his right. So we passed him, and I hear him go to discipline his dog. This was some. Literally, like this. This should have been in Family Guy.

[Payton]

Yeah.

[Cam]

He goes to discipline his dog. He goes, sit down. Sit down. You do not do. The dog goes like. And you can hear the jaw. And he goes. He said. And I was like, bro, either just got this dog, but that's not his dog one. He just got it on Thursday.

[Payton]

Yeah.

[Cam]

Or like, are you the worst?

[Payton]

The dog.

[Cam]

Literally, that's the dog's house. You're going and staying in the dog's house.

[Payton]

Yeah, bro.

[Cam]

So then it's still. This is the last part. I see that. And I'm just like, holy. Like, this guy's gonna get his chewed up by his own dog. So we walk. We're going this way. They're going that way now. Didn't know they were on a family walk, too. We crossed paths again.

[Payton]

Oh, you made a roundabout.

[Cam]

We hit the mailbox. And then we keep going to come back to our house. They just kept going this way. And we crossed that time. When I tell you this man based off. And we're not like, I didn't deep dive into the ragdolling. He was getting tossed, bro. Yeah. Like 30 seconds. The second time we come around, he literally took the rope wrapped around his arm. Like some. Like you're about to pull hair or something. Wrapped it around. I mean, well, I didn't. I don't know. It just came to mind. And maybe that speaks to my character. But he wrapped it around. He got down on his knee and hugged his dog like it was a turret or something.

[Payton]

Getting in a three point stance to control your dog is crazy.

[Cam]

He literally wrapped it, put that arm on the back, got on a knee, grabbed the dog from like, like right here, like a seat belt. And he literally was like this. He literally said. He was like, y' all go now. Y' all go. You know, it's all right. He's okay. He's sitting there. I was like, dude, you need to get rid of that thing.

[Payton]

Law enforcement at that point, that's when Caesar has to get involved. You gotta call Caesar.

[Cam]

It was. It was the cr. Bro. That was. So I went home and God bless that guy. I made fun about half an hour in my own house.

[Payton]

There's a. There's a point of, like, if you're at that point with your dog where you're getting all the way down, you is like, limit his outside time or

[Cam]

public time or that's like you're.

[Payton]

You're.

[Cam]

You're coughing up aura like you are coughing up manhood points.

[Payton]

It's like there's a. There was a time with Malcolm. RP to Malcolm. Ones up in the sky for my dog. Love you, bud. RP to Malcolm. There was a time where we knew, right, because he. I mean, he absolutely tore up the neighbor's dog.

[Cam]

He had a. He had a peak prime.

[Payton]

I mean, he put the neighbor's dog in a wheelchair. And I'm not kidding. It was so fun. And it wasn't funny at the time, but.

[Cam]

But like Sid from Toy Story looking at that little wheelchair dog now laughing at him.

[Payton]

Well, the thing.

[Cam]

The.

[Payton]

The owner would, like, bring the dog over to Malcolm, like the fence and, like, tease Malcolm. And so Malcolm got loose one day and remembered that dog.

[Cam]

He said, well, saw that.

[Payton]

Yeah. So.

[Cam]

Yeah.

[Payton]

And so Malcolm put him in a wheelchair. Where was I going with this story? Oh, I really. And then Malcolm went to doggy jail for, like, two weeks. I was really sad. It's just a real thing.

[Cam]

No, no, no, no, no. What the hell is doggy jail?

[Payton]

Yeah, it's a real thing.

[Cam]

And what do you mean, it's a real thing? I need a backstory. What is doggy jail?

[Payton]

So Malcolm, basically, he up the other dog. Yeah. So Malcolm was getting teased by the neighbor dog. Cause the owner was, like, psychotic and was, like, liking when Malcolm would get riled up through the fence. Malcolm got loose one day, found the dog. I mean, rag dog, that dog. I mean, the fire department came. An ambulance came. No, the neighbor was a.

[Cam]

Like, he called.

[Payton]

He called law enforcement on a dog.

[Cam]

He called. First date.

[Payton]

Yeah. And so we brought Malcolm, say, a cop.

[Cam]

You said an ambulance and fire department. Yeah.

[Payton]

And so we brought Malcolm inside. He was happy. He's like, I did good. And I was like, hey, good job. But, you know, whatever. Oh, yeah, A couple fur, like a piece of the dog's collar, whatever. He worked.

[Cam]

Boy.

[Payton]

And so the neighbor was like, if that happens, you can, like, make a petition to get that dog put down. Like, if it bites a person or something, you can make a petition to put. Get that dog put down.

[Cam]

Down.

[Payton]

Yeah. 100. Like, if a dog were to come up and attack you on the street and it was like, somebody's dog, you can have that dog, like, euthanized, which is crazy. I'm sure there's, like, some kind of.

[Cam]

What?

[Payton]

There's some steps.

[Cam]

Okay. Petition. And, like, so it's not immediately.

[Payton]

I don't know how immediate it is, but I think it's pretty petition. If a dog, like, bites you and you have like. Like, you got to go to the hospital for stitches, I'm pretty sure you can get that dog put down like this. I'm speaking of Texas. I don't know about this nationally, but. Yeah, 100. But. So I was like. I was like, there's nothing in my mind at that time. I was like, they're not going to put my dog down. Yeah, because this is when he was, like, six. Like, young. You're not killing it. So they did a thing. Like, they came like, the dog FBI came. It was like a. Like a schnauzer and a Dalmatian. They came with a coat to the front door.

[Cam]

He put down his notepad. He was like the little detectives. Like,

[Payton]

yeah, so that's what happened. They came to the door a couple of days later, and they're like, hey, the neighbor press charges on your dog. We have to take him to doggy jail.

[Cam]

Do you have a social, by the way?

[Payton]

And so they cut. They came and grabbed Malcolm. They put him in the back of a truck, like a van, sort of thing. And they took him to this, like, vet resort type of thing where he, like, he had. He was locked up in a kennel for, like, two weeks. And so, like. And they take him through, like, like, rehabilitation.

[Cam]

And, y', all.

[Payton]

There's nothing we could do. It was either that or you can go get them put down. Was basically this thing.

[Cam]

That is absolutely insane. That's insane.

[Payton]

Yeah. I'm not going to tell you the full story, but just let you know that neighbor didn't live there after a week.

[Cam]

Oh, I know.

[Payton]

Or like a couple months or something. Yeah, he got. He got. I think he just found a better house.

[Cam]

Yeah, I mean, he moved. He was like, hey, my dog attacked. I gotta get out of here. Your mom was sitting there. She said,

[Payton]

no, but yeah, he got put in doggy jail and he came back.

[Cam]

That is what is like, they put

[Payton]

him in a kennel. You get a certain amount of time, recreation hours, like, outside to play. Like, they show you. They send you pictures of them, make sure you're still alive and good. Like, it's a real thing, bro.

[Cam]

You come back afterwards.

[Payton]

No, because it's like, he's like. I did think it, like, set his haunches up a little bad because he was, like, in his growth phase, like, running around. He was in a kennel for so long. And so, like. Yeah, I think was haunted a little.

[Cam]

Am I okay now? Hear me out.

[Payton]

I'm trying to make rip to my boy.

[Cam]

All right. One's up in the sky. Rip Malcolm.

[Payton]

Boy.

[Cam]

Ones up in the sky, Carol.

[Payton]

Ones up in the sky. Yes, sir. Appreciate it.

[Cam]

There we go. Appreciate that. I'm trying. That. I'm trying to make sense of that.

[Payton]

Doggy jail.

[Cam]

Not even doggy jail.

[Payton]

No. America's a stupid place.

[Cam]

And the. More, like, if my dog attacks you, bites you, really hurts you. Medical bills, right? You're suing me? You're suing me. I have the money. I'm a human. I have the job. You're not suing my dog. Well, the thing is, my dog going to jail because the dog is just an extension of me.

[Payton]

Not true. All the way. Not true always. Because dogs are animals. So they have their own choices to do whatever they want. Somebody can set them off, and you have no control over that. So they take them to these centers, and it's basically like, to test. Can we. Is this dog suitable to go back out? You know what I mean?

[Cam]

Is insane. Like, it makes sense like, that sense. But when I'm like.

[Payton]

But like, getting my. Get my dog recreational Hours is crazy.

[Cam]

That's what I'm saying. My mind always goes to, like, the ultimate just macro. And, like, for whatever reason, I put it on a timeline too. I, like, go back in time. I'm like, who was the first person to say this? Like, how can you just take. How can you make a law. Like, think about that.

[Payton]

Someone just.

[Cam]

Someone made it. Someone literally said, hey, dude, honestly, if a dog you up, let's put in jail.

[Payton]

Yeah.

[Cam]

Oh, you're gonna get murderers go to jail. Let's put that in a kennel. CV lacks it, huh? See if he comes out batting again. That's what I was thinking how we said a long time ago, the greatest inventions. Like, someone thought of everything.

[Payton]

Yeah.

[Cam]

Okay. Someone in their room was like, dude, let's make doggy prison.

[Payton]

Yeah, we're getting me in my conspiracy bag. And I know last time I did that, it didn't go well for me, but you should know.

[Cam]

Podcast this episode is sponsored by Better Help.

[Payton]

May is mental health awareness month. A reminder that whatever you're going through, you don't have to go through it alone. You don't have to. Cam. You know, life is a journey. Some days feel good and other feel overwhelming. You know, that's it's normal. Whatever's keeping you up at night, it's easy to feel like you have to figure it all out on your own. But the truth is, no one has all the answers. Do you have all the answers?

[Cam]

I do not.

[Payton]

Do I have all the answers?

[Cam]

You do not have all the answers.

[Payton]

And no journey should be alone. Having someone with you to listen to, understand, and support you can make all the difference.

[Cam]

Guys, I'm about to be a father of two right now, and you know that has some unanswered questions that has me up at night. I'm thinking about a crib. I'm thinking about sleep. I'm thinking about keeping him safe. All the things. And you just need to know that you do not have to be alone. No matter what it is that's keeping you up at night, that's giving you anxiety, that's making you think that makes you get cold sweats. You don't have to do it alone. Betterhelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct, and they are fully licensed in the US and with over 30,000 therapists, better help is the world's largest online therapy platform.

[Payton]

You don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10 off at betterhelp.com y-k that's better. H E L p.com ysk now on to the rest of the episode. I'm getting in my conspiracy bag here. And by the way, I'll stand on that. If you don't know. If you don't know. There was a Patreon episode that came out as a conspiracy theory episode and they were talking about Pizzagate and all that. I firmly stand on everything I said, by the way. Like, I don't retract anything. But some people. This other sheep didn't agree, so now it was a good time.

[Cam]

I love those.

[Payton]

But I definitely. That's like the one conspiracy I got. Like, I'm really passionate about is invention. Like, that's so crazy to me. Like how just like it's hard for me to believe that a human being came up with the idea of a staircase.

[Cam]

That's what I'm saying was like, bro, we need to get higher.

[Payton]

But that doesn't make sense to me. I put staircases and God making the ocean like in the same thing. Like, we, like, God made stairs. Like there wasn't a world we've ever lived in where stairs didn't exist. Like, he was like, oh, I'm gonna make rain shine sheep and stairs. Like, that's what God did. And I believe that because there's not a human that is that good that can just think of stairs, bro.

[Cam]

But it's. To me, it's so. But think about it. For stairs, someone had to think, hey man, I like this house. Let's do it again. Right on top of it.

[Payton]

This doesn't make sense.

[Cam]

That doesn't make sense.

[Payton]

No.

[Cam]

God had a Derek, especially back then.

[Payton]

Yeah.

[Cam]

Land everywhere. It was nothing but land. But someone said, dude, let double decker.

[Payton]

But wait.

[Cam]

A double decker bus is witchcraft. First of all, double decker bus is voodoo.

[Payton]

People that go on double decker buses, like, they're, they're. You're, you're a. You're a strange person.

[Cam]

Don't. You don't care about yourself.

[Payton]

No, you're a strange person.

[Cam]

What do you mean? You're a double decker bus might be the pinnacle of what we were talking about. It's a wheel, it's a car, it's a near an apartment, and it's a staircase.

[Payton]

I never. Yeah.

[Cam]

All in one object. A double decker bus is from Satan.

[Payton]

I've never, I've never respected a double decker bus.

[Cam]

I do that every time I think.

[Payton]

I just think.

[Cam]

I think A, I think British and B, I think Harry Potter.

[Payton]

Yeah.

[Cam]

Every time I see A double aunt.

[Payton]

Why? I never looked at her the same. She told me she went on one. I was like, you're selfish. Like, that's a weird thing to do. Like, that's honestly. That's honestly strange. I put hiking and double decker buses in the same thing. They're both strange activities.

[Cam]

Hike now I'm. Dude, I tried to get behind it when I was an older Arkansas natural state. There's lots of little.

[Payton]

Somebody tried to give me to go to. Yeah, go mountains.

[Cam]

You said,

[Payton]

oh, no, hiking is weird, dude. The first time. Go ahead. You're telling your like.

[Cam]

Like, like. So I had a couple teammates that they're from Arkansas. They're not like avid hikers.

[Payton]

They don't own whatever. The hiking story just crumbled. If they're from Arkansas, no validity.

[Cam]

No, they're from Arkansas. But they were like, bro, I haven't really hiked you, but like, let's go, let's go. Try it. I went one weekend.

[Payton]

Yeah.

[Cam]

Not even a mountain. It was just like a big hill. And I was like, what are we doing? Like, really hot. I was like, I'm hot. I have a sunburn. I'm. I've got bit nine times now. And I'm just going up to this peak. Yeah.

[Payton]

Okay. That's my question.

[Cam]

To look at everything that I would pass if I went on i40 to go to Blackwell to drink. It's like, what are we talking about?

[Payton]

That's my question. When does the hike end? Like, what point? You're like, I'm done.

[Cam]

Yeah.

[Payton]

Because not. You went to a small place where you get to the peak and you look and you stop. That's majority of not hikes where you get to a peak and you stop.

[Cam]

Yeah. Other people just.

[Payton]

Just go like Runyon. Like you. It's very few people that make Runyon. It's. It's in California. It's like the popular spot in California to hike. You hike, but like, it's. Very few people make it all the way to the top of that.

[Cam]

Yeah. I mean, like, dude, the hike stops when your body.

[Payton]

It's like when you. You make it like you've been going for an hour and you're like, I think I'm done.

[Cam]

Yeah.

[Payton]

Oh.

[Cam]

Oh, dude. And the people that say, I go on a hike for relaxation. No, you don't. You're wearing combat boots. SPF 60 and you had to pack food. You're not relaxing, dog. I've seen militant officers with those same shoes. Yeah. I've seen people at a beach with that same Sunscreen. You're in a forest.

[Payton]

Yeah.

[Cam]

And you are getting eaten alive by bugs and you have goggles on. Hiking.

[Payton]

Weird, bro.

[Cam]

Strange activity.

[Payton]

The first time I went to la, like, this is when we were first getting popular. And there's this girl from a TV show that I was kind of talking to at the time. Yeah. So we were in west. First time in West Hollywood. We met up with her for some drinks, right? And I was like, oh, this is that chicken.

[Cam]

Absolutely. No, seriously, that chicken deserves to die. Oh, my God, dude. That. I mean, you want to talk about. I mean, absolutely robbed. I mean, this chicken was like.

[Payton]

I took Robbie there.

[Cam]

It was like a hundred and forty dollars. And when I say it literally tasted like, I like I. I killed the me. I killed the chicken. They'd sit there for a week and then bit into it.

[Payton]

Why was every drink on fire?

[Cam]

Every drink came with an incense in it. Every single one. Every drink, you could order whole a beer and it came on fire.

[Payton]

No, nothing. Felt like I was gonna make it to the next day.

[Cam]

Oh, my God. And the whole restaurant, the Mac, the max, maximum Occupancy was like 200. There was like six tables.

[Payton]

Yeah.

[Cam]

Sitting on beanbags and crisscross like this some weird. Where are. Is this Star Wars?

[Payton]

But anyway, so we were at this restaurant with this girl that was on the TV show. And it was the first time like we were getting popular. And this is like. I was like, oh, I'm. I can like date like celebrities or whatever now. And so I was excited, right. And this was my first time in California and la. West Hollywood, to be exact. Yeah. So this is very like.

[Cam]

She brings out a fireball.

[Payton]

It's very, very like hippie, like celebrity, like, whatever. So we're sitting there.

[Cam]

Sit back and chill.

[Payton]

We're sitting there and I'm used to hitting on girls from like Texas and Oklahoma and Florida.

[Cam]

Yeah. So like, that's my.

[Payton]

That's my gauge, right. And I know what girls from down south like. So it's like, yeah, we can go to hookah. We can go drink. We can go, oh, something fun, like, cool outside, right? And then so I was like, I. We were talking, we took a couple shots for some reason.

[Cam]

You were there. Yeah. No, I was literally like this. The whole night. I literally was just like this. I was like, oh, dude. I. I literally. I'm like, I gotta call. I show the phone, there's nothing there. I'm like, I still commit to it. I'm like, hey, what's up, dude? She was.

[Payton]

She was Cool. Like, we were talking. We were talking about, like, her career, her TV show, and. And I was liking her. We're at the end of the night, and I wanted this to progress, but just me and her, not this weird sitting in the corner.

[Cam]

Hey, can I get the hotel key? Hey, can I get the key?

[Payton]

So I was like, hey, you free tomorrow night? And she was like, I don't know about tomorrow night. And I was like, never gone on a date during the day. And so I was like, okay. Like, she was like, I'm not sure, though. She's like, what are you thinking about doing? And I was like, we can go to a. Like a lounge or something. I don't really know this area, but I can find something, like, cool for us to do. And you can show me around, like, la. Like the cool spots.

[Cam]

And she goes, sexy voices.

[Payton]

I haven't hit this one, man. It feels good.

[Cam]

You can find something.

[Payton]

Y' all know. Y' all know.

[Cam]

Oh, I know. Yeah.

[Payton]

I said, oh, you're like. You're gonna put it where?

[Cam]

I said, my God, he's got a

[Payton]

lot to work with. And so I was in there, like, yeah, I don't. I don't know, but does that sound okay with you? She was like, no. I was like. She goes, interesting. She goes, you want to hike? And I said, what? And she was like, yeah, you meet me at 9am tomorrow at Runyon.

[Cam]

I said, no, no, I don't like onions. I said, no, no, I don't like onions. I'm a french fry guy.

[Payton]

I said, ma', am, if we go hiking, you're going to smell my scrotum from the top of the mountain to the bottom.

[Cam]

I would literally, if I went on a hike right now, I would smell like a. Like a. A literal, like, donation center, bro. I would smell. I would smell like a. Like a brick and mortar that accepts as their 9 to 5. I would literally smell like a.

[Payton]

Can I say banks might be the weirdest thing ever invented?

[Cam]

No, like, dude, the more we talk, I can't.

[Payton]

Dude, there's sometimes where I'm not. Like, I'm in the comfort of my home and I need some. Like. Like, I'm like, dude, I'm not confident. Like, I feel like. Like there's something. The vibes off the fans. It's like I can't get it going because there's external variables. I can't beat my. In a. In a doctor's office with a dude next door. And, like, there's a waiting room. I mean, it is Imagine going to a bank, doing. And I know it's like, I'm not trying to make sense. There's, like, positive benefits for them, but I can't imagine going to a donation bank. I'm gonna say that with your specimen. Okay. For monetization. I can't imagine going to a specimen bank. Right. Doing the deed and then going back to the lobby.

[Cam]

Yeah. Signing a little paper, waiting for your name to get called.

[Payton]

I can't talk to you like the lady at the front desk. I can't walk past the people and remember, I had that story. I almost did it. I went to the front door, but it was weird. There's holes in the wall, everything. It was strange. But I can't imagine doing that.

[Cam]

If you. If quite literally, if you need anything from me, you need a signature, you need payment, you need a photograph. If you. Whatever you need, it has to be done before I go back in there. When I'm done with that, I am leaving your establishment. Matter of fact, you're not seeing my face again. I'm literally walking out like this. You're not. There's no. There's no. There's no. Oh, I did that. Oh. Sit in the lobby. 20 minutes, sir.

[Payton]

We're gonna.

[Cam]

We're gonna run it, make sure it's good. What do you mean?

[Payton]

And my luck, dude. My luck. I would sit back in the waiting room and they. Before they call me back up, and they would go, Mr. Harden, we need more. I have nothing.

[Cam]

I gave you all I got.

[Payton]

I was like, I need a Jello and some Gatorade.

[Cam]

Got any Harvey Spectre highlights I could watch? You have a USB C charger?

[Payton]

Yeah, I heard they have iPads in there with, like, preloaded movies.

[Cam]

No, no. Oh, dude. Dude, the world's crumbly. No, dude, no, no.

[Payton]

Well, you got to get it out somehow. That's.

[Cam]

That is not.

[Payton]

What do you think happens in there? You just go off memory?

[Cam]

No, but, like, in Hollywood, it's always a magazine or something. We're in 2026, bro. IPads with pre downloaded Corn Cam.

[Payton]

You.

[Cam]

You're out of your mind. People apply to work. There. People apply to work. They go, dude, I'd love to have that job.

[Payton]

You're doctors and nurses. They're not just regular people, Cam.

[Cam]

Oh, dude, I don't know.

[Payton]

It's 2026. What do you think they like? Just regular. I'm not gonna lie.

[Cam]

Okay, this is gonna be a hot take. This is a little weird. We can cut it when you want,

[Payton]

but I should have got them started.

[Cam]

Have you ever seen, like, an OG magazine? Like an OG Playboy magazine?

[Payton]

Me and my grandma, when she was dying of cancer, she. We were looking through one together.

[Cam]

I remember you said that. Yes, bro.

[Payton]

I mean, that story tore my family apart.

[Cam]

They are. That's a perfect word. Yeah, they are interesting. Like, I always, like, us growing up.

[Payton]

Couldn't get to it.

[Cam]

No, now I. Now I agree. But I'm saying us growing up, you know, it's different whatnot. And like, we have. We were. You know, we've never been alive without technology, like, stuff like that. But I'm saying for back in the day, I could see that being a commodity.

[Payton]

Horn levels must have been through the roof. That was just easy getting it done.

[Cam]

Oh, my God. The specimen banks probably over full. We can't take any more today. We've reached. We reached the monthly quota this weekend. If you had a magazine waiting for free back then, and all you had to do is go donate.

[Payton]

Shout out to the people that donate, man. It's really.

[Cam]

I mean, honestly, Honestly, people that donate. You know, I actually. Okay, now this is. Oh, my God. This goes perfectly what I was gonna say. This is how naive I am. I did not know. I did not know if you have to. As a. As a couple or as a woman, if you have to take the route of a donor or a surrogate or something like that.

[Payton]

God bless you all.

[Cam]

Yeah. Oh, no. Perfectly. Nothing wrong with it. Fantastic. Hope everything goes great. I did not know that you, like, had. Say so when I was younger.

[Payton]

Say so what?

[Cam]

Of, like, the. The specimen that you would want to, like, create with or put. Yeah, yeah. They show you, like.

[Payton]

They show you, like, player stats?

[Cam]

Yeah, I thought it was.

[Payton]

Yeah, no, no, no. It's good.

[Cam]

It's good that you.

[Payton]

Roulette.

[Cam]

Yeah, it's good that I. What? It's good to get to pick. Like, you want to make sure.

[Payton]

Yeah, it's like, you know.

[Cam]

No, but, like, why did I ever think that? As. I literally thought you went in there, and it was kind of like a. Like a mystery box.

[Payton]

There's a time you also thought you're going to the NBA. I mean, that's.

[Cam]

No. Okay. Speaking of the naive, I was in a group text with. Not gonna say the names, but the group text with two. Two friends. And one of them just texted, hey, got off work. Do y' all want to play the game later? Like, two hours went by. This was this past weekend. No one me or. And the other guy did not respond. He texts back again, hey, Y' all there? No one responded. So another hour goes by and he sends, hey, do you think a ceiling fan can hold £200? Okay. So, yes, a joke at that. We don't have to go any further into that.

[Payton]

I don't even know. Okay, this is not a good joke.

[Cam]

No, no, not a good joke. But, like, he's getting to the point of, like. Like, y'.

[Payton]

All.

[Cam]

No one's responding to me. Yeah, Peyton, I sent a four part text breaking down the strength and stability of ceiling fans. That's how green I am. I literally said 200 pounds, bro. Well, depending on where you get it. I got mine from Lowe's and I kind of cheaped out. I went with the 79.90. I sent a picture of the fan I got.

[Payton]

Yeah, dude, I'm saying the things that used to make you great are your biggest downfall.

[Cam]

Like, it's like, you are happening, though. Why is that?

[Payton]

You just gotta get out more. You gotta do more. You're just.

[Cam]

Is that it?

[Payton]

Yeah. You're confined to your four. You ever seen, like, a guy that went to jail and, like, he was like, say he's like you, right?

[Cam]

Just a normal guy.

[Payton]

He goes to jail for, like, 15 years, comes out Muslim and believes in, like. You know what I mean? Like, which. Nothing wrong with that, but you're just different than what you came in as. And that's you. You know what I mean? Which. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm just saying. But that is a thing that happens sometime. Dariel knows. So you're just different. Not wrong. You're just different. Yeah, well, in your case, you got worse.

[Cam]

Yeah, that's.

[Payton]

You've lost a lot of greatness that you once had. That and that.

[Cam]

But that's not. That's not fun to hear, dude.

[Payton]

Like, there was a time I used to, like, be like, I can't wait for you to meet Cam. Like, dude, Cam's like, oh, dude, you

[Cam]

don't want people to meet me anymore.

[Payton]

No, I do, but I'm saying the way I talk about you is different.

[Cam]

That's from your part. It's true.

[Payton]

You want me to lie on you? I was like, oh, like, no, there's a time. Come on, somebody back me up. There's a time.

[Cam]

You have to back him up. You don't feel like it.

[Payton]

There's a time, like, when I'm like, you can't wait to be Cam. Like, he's. Dude, he's like, you're still great, but you had some different attributes about you. But those attributes are just different. Now be like, he's gonna get a little confused. He's gonna. He's gonna start yawning real early. Don't you know? You don't make these offensive jokes because he's got kid.

[Cam]

He'll.

[Payton]

They'll get real serious offensive jokes. If anything cute goes by, he'll be like, oh, my God.

[Cam]

Yeah, that's his father.

[Payton]

Different.

[Cam]

But I didn't. I didn't. I. I didn't. I didn't.

[Payton]

You're so great.

[Cam]

I didn't lose them. I. I traded them.

[Payton]

You should know Podcast this episode of the you should know podcast is brought to you by booking.com cam. I've got to say something. If you're looking to grow your vacation rental business, this is the place to be. Booking.com is one of the most downloaded. Did you know this?

[Cam]

Sure is.

[Payton]

Booking.com is one of the most downloaded travel apps. Guess where. Where the whole entire world. And for a good reason, bro. Since 2010, you were 12, I was 11. They've helped over 1.8 billion vacation rental guests find places to stay. And that's billion, not million, billion. And that's billion with a B.

[Cam]

But here's the thing. Most vacation rental hoes do not, not even realize that they can list their property on booking.com why don't they? And if you're not on the platform, your rental is basically invisible to millions of Booking.com customers around the world where they cannot book what they can't see.

[Payton]

That's basic thuganomics. But once you start listing on booking.com your property gets seen by a massive global audience of unique travelers. That means more visibility, more bookings, and more opportunity to accelerate the growth of your rental business. That's what we want. So if your vacation rental isn't listed on booking.com it could be invisible to millions, millions of travelers searching the platform. Don't miss out on consistent bookings and global reach. Head over to booking.com and start your listing today. Get seen, get booked on booking.com but before we get out of here, I want to bring up. I want to bring up this last story I have, and it's gonna be really quick about Miami. I had the worst flight leaving formula one this last weekend.

[Cam]

Oh, my goodness, dude.

[Payton]

American Airlines, bro. The worst airline ever. Really? Yeah. So on the last day of F1, it was on Sunday, was the main race and I. It got pushed back due to weather. Right. Because there's supposed to be a big storm in Miami. I knew when I saw that because I was supposed to fly out after the race. I knew when I saw that the. The American Airlines, they delay if the sun's too bright. Yeah.

[Cam]

So.

[Payton]

So I knew there was going to be a delay. Luckily, God has blessed me in a position where I bought a backup plane ticket to a different airline. So I bought. So lo and behold, the American Airlines flight got moved four hours ahead.

[Cam]

Oh, my God.

[Payton]

Like, behind. Oh, like, whatever.

[Cam]

Back.

[Payton]

Better. Four hours back. So I was like, I can't do that because I'll get home at, like, 3am I'm not doing that. I got this new ticket to a certain airline. I'm not going to say the name of it.

[Cam]

Oh, oh.

[Payton]

And I never heard of this airline.

[Cam]

Really? Oh.

[Payton]

I knew it was a thing, but I've never been on it. I didn't know anything about it. So I got this new plane ticket, bro.

[Cam]

Got a helicopter.

[Payton]

I got this. I got this new plane ticket. I went to Miami Airport. Now, I asked the Uber driver to drop me off at this specific gate, because there's different gates. You get dropped off. Yeah. He goes, yeah, fine. I got you. He drops me off of this gate with no branding on it.

[Cam]

And I was like, oh, dude, no. You got a black market ticket.

[Payton]

I was like, what the is this?

[Cam]

You bought. You bought your ticket with cryptocurrency.

[Payton]

I walk in, and I can't see the desk with the name on it. I'm seeing, like, American. I'm seeing Delta. I'm see it. I'm seeing, like, what's the spirit?

[Cam]

Get scraped down.

[Payton]

I'll get to that. And then, so I see a. Like, the Emirates Airlines. Like, there's like, all the. All the.

[Cam]

Everything. I've seen Emirates. Yeah. And I can't see this name.

[Payton]

I asked this guy who's wearing a vest, so he work. I said, hey, bro, can you point me to where this airline is? He goes, yeah, just walk down that hallway. You'll see it. You'll run right into it. I'm walking for 10 minutes. I don't see this airline.

[Cam]

You're not running into it.

[Payton]

I'm not running into this. I'm like, there's no way I should be walking this long. I see this lovely lady throwing bags at this airline. I've never, like. It wasn't in English. I've never heard of this.

[Cam]

You're employed?

[Payton]

Yeah. So I said, hey, can you point me to where this airline is? She goes, turns back and asks another guy, do we have this airline here? No, we don't. Have that airline here. I go, so three people lied to me. So what am I doing here? And I go, where is this? Where does this place fly out of? And they go, fort Lauderdale. I'm in Miami.

[Cam]

Me.

[Payton]

I go, holy. I go. They go, but we have a train that could take you from Miami to Fort Lauderdale. I said, how long is that going to take? She goes, I don't know. I go, it's set times, isn't it?

[Cam]

She goes.

[Payton]

So I was like, all right, whatever. I get up. I got an Uber.

[Cam]

I get an Uber.

[Payton]

45 minutes.

[Cam]

I was about to say, that's not

[Payton]

terribly far, not terrible. And I was there pretty early.

[Cam]

They go, that's. That fight's in Orlando.

[Payton]

I'm like, yeah, 45 minutes to Fort Lauderdale. I go to Fort Lauderdale. It's a big trap house. Like, Fort Lauderdale Airport is like a. It's literally trap house. I was like, holy, it smells like black and mild in here. And there's like. There's no functioning light bulbs. I was like, holy, this is bad. Get to Fort Lauderdale airport. I go through the tsa, walking through the.

[Cam]

The ambience, the background.

[Payton]

Just, first of all, that TSA was asking me to do things I've never done.

[Cam]

Wait, wait, like what?

[Payton]

Tucking your drawstrings. Why?

[Cam]

Oh, they've. They found some creative in that airport. Tuck them in normally.

[Payton]

Take them out so we can see them. They said, no, tuck them in. I said, what? Why? And they go. They go, take off your hat. I took off my hat. They unbuckled this part. They took the buckle out. And I said, who, though?

[Cam]

Did Osama come here?

[Payton]

Like, why am I doing all this

[Cam]

land in Fort Lauderdale?

[Payton]

Yeah. And so whatever. I get to the airport, I'm going to my terminal again. I've never heard of this airline. As you know, Spirit just got canceled. There's no more Spirit flights as of, like, the day before, cut off. So I'm going to this gate, and I see the name of this airline, but it looks like it's like a sticker over, like, where something else used to be. Somebody walks past the wall too hard where the sticker falls, and it's Spirit Airlines. Under the sticker, they just stuck up,

[Cam]

you got a JV ticket.

[Payton]

You know, it's like money Laundry. Like, Spirit Airlines is still around, but it's just money laundering.

[Cam]

Oh, my God.

[Payton]

They Money laundering do a different thing. Oh, my.

[Cam]

What the God. Declared the bankruptcy for the seventh time. Yeah, they took their losses on the chin, but they went under a different Front.

[Payton]

So I go into the plane right now. I'm not trying to sound elitist. I'm not.

[Cam]

Okay.

[Payton]

I'm really not. I'm not. I'm not.

[Cam]

But I sat down next to a peasant.

[Payton]

I sat next to a. He was actually a deaf guy. He was really cool. We, like. We're doing things with Yu Gi oh. I don't know what the. Correct. We're communicating about. Yu Gi oh. Not Yu Gi oh. Pokemon. He was, like, typing to me on his phone. Really cool. But before he got there, I get to my seat, right? There's no first class, which is fine.

[Cam]

Yeah, it's Spirit undercover, which is fine. Already debunked that.

[Payton]

But I bought a. I bought row 2A. So in my head, I was like, I'm gonna get first class. And I got there, I was oddly confused. There's three seats, and they were tight. So I'm on the aisle row. There's a middle seat that's empty that eventually got covered by the deaf guy, but. So there's empty.

[Cam]

You're in the front of the plane. There's still three people.

[Payton]

Yes. Oh, my God. I've never seen some like this. Never seen some shit like this. And the front wall had a peephole

[Cam]

for the flight attendant.

[Payton]

Like, she was going like this to check they didn't come down the.

[Cam]

Hey, I'm so thirsty.

[Payton]

No, Kim, I'm telling you that she didn't come down the road with the cart. She opened up the window and was, like, looking to see if everybody's alive. Yeah, I was.

[Cam]

Put the. Oh, no, you.

[Payton]

And then she set, like, a tablet out that showed, like, snacks with prices under them. Like, we're at a concession stand.

[Cam]

Like, hey, this isn't softball. We're in the sky.

[Payton]

But. So I'm sitting there.

[Cam]

You bought that xrp.

[Payton]

I'm sitting there. This guy comes in, and he has a. The biggest backpack I've ever seen. I'm like, I don't like that on a plane.

[Cam]

I don't know. First of all, that. Man, that's way too big.

[Payton]

That should have been checked.

[Cam]

That has to be checked. Duffel bag on his back.

[Payton]

He goes, hey, I'm right here. And I go, oh, my God. So I stand up. He goes to the window seat. We have a seat between us now. I've never seen this before. I've never seen this before. This guy with, like, you would have thought he was in tactical training to open up that backpack as quickly as he could. He throws the backpack down, and at speed of light, like, unbuckling. I thought he was like, like making a backpack.

[Cam]

Oh, yeah.

[Payton]

He was like, like, you know how, like, in the marines they have to, like, untangle, Take away the. Like, take apart the gun, put the gun back, everything.

[Cam]

And then.

[Payton]

Yeah, that's what he was doing. But then he takes out, like, this big folded thing. He unfolds it and stands up, and I go, what the is he doing? He throws this thing at the seat, and it pops open and it's an inflatable seat cover. I go, what the are you doing? I'm looking at him like, I jump. I'm like, what the? Then he puts on sunglasses that are like the men in black skinny sunglasses. And I'm not done. He then puts on fingerless gloves. And I'm not Cam. I swear to God, I'm not joking. He puts on fingerless gloves that have, like, skeleton bones coming out of them. And he's like this. And just sitting there at his seat. I go, what the is going on? I'm so scared. I'm just peeking at him, right like that. He's first, like, 6 inches off the seat because he's on the inflatable seat.

[Cam]

Yeah.

[Payton]

So I'm looking at him.

[Cam]

Yeah.

[Payton]

There's no way.

[Cam]

When he goes to the bench, he has that little booster.

[Payton]

I go, there's no way that.

[Cam]

That's loud, dude.

[Payton]

But the flight attendant couldn't see. Cause she could only see through the window. So then people are starting to file on the plane. A guy sits in front of me. This guy pulls out something out of his backpack too. It's basically inflatable thing, and it's a seat back thing to support his back. But he had to go behind the seat and buckle it to where his. That's in front of me, where my tray table is. Now I see that. I'm like, okay, this dude's inconsiderate, right? Because now I can't open up my tray table.

[Cam]

Oh, you're 10 times better man than me.

[Payton]

But I didn't say anything because I'm not confrontational. And I really. I just want to go home. Right? I don't care. I'm not going to use this. I'm going to. I'm going to just try to fall asleep. He's buckling. The guy with the fingerless gloves and tray table goes, hey, man, take that down. I go, holy. He goes, you can't do that. He goes, my man can't use his tray table. And I go, I'm not your man. First of All. And I think you are the last person to say anything about accessories.

[Cam]

You have gloves and men in black shades on for a flight, let alone your pool noodle inflatable.

[Payton]

And so the guy in front of me turns to me and, like, starts to slowly unbuckle, and it literally looks like he's about to cry. And I was like, bro, I really don't care. But he's like, I'm so sorry.

[Cam]

I'm so sorry.

[Payton]

And I go, I'm done with this. So I go, people are still loading on the plane, right? I'm like, I'm gonna go to sleep. I'm tired. I've taken my concoction, so I'm going

[Cam]

like, I'm taking my 2200 milligrams.

[Payton]

Yeah. So I'm going to sleep, right? And I. I'm starting to get a good snooze, right? But it's one of those snoozes where you can still are kind of aware because you're in public. As I'm sleeping for probably five minutes, people are walking past me. I hear the most angelic voice of all time. Somebody is singing coming down the aisle.

[Cam]

Hot take, don't care. That sounds good. That's got to be obnoxious.

[Payton]

So it's. But it's like a lullaby. But it's a beautiful song. And I was like, either I fell asleep when this plane is in the air, and I died, and this is what it's like going to heaven, or somebody is the most beautif singer of all time. I open my eyes, still alive. Yeah. I look. Jacques is walking right by me, singing to his son, getting on the plane, yet actual Jacques. I literally was like, what the. The most angelic voice.

[Cam]

Oh, I mean, I'm talking. Oh.

[Payton]

I mean, it was beautiful. And he is sexy in person.

[Cam]

10 out of 10. Oh, yeah.

[Payton]

Like, great teeth. The biggest chains on.

[Cam]

Oh, so many diamonds. 10 out of 10 voice, great father.

[Payton]

Because, I mean, he almost put me to sleep. That kid was knocked. I mean, he was strolling his kid around, slinging to him. He was like.

[Cam]

He's like, it's a bitsy spa. He's, like, just doing riffs.

[Payton]

Yeah. And so after that, I was like, man, I will never fly this airline again. I'm not gonna say the airline.

[Cam]

Oh, we don't even get the airline

[Payton]

and not tell y' all off camera.

[Cam]

Camera. Oh, my God. I gotta hear that.

[Payton]

I don't know.

[Cam]

To avoid him.

[Payton]

Yeah. It was. I mean, surreal experience. Did you.

[Cam]

Did you speak to Jacques?

[Payton]

No. He Was with his kid. And I. I don't. I don't want to do that. It's late at night. You're flying with a child.

[Cam]

It was late. It wasn't.

[Payton]

I don't want to do that, bro.

[Cam]

First off, shout out to him.

[Payton]

Great. A1 dad sounded like, dude, she needs

[Cam]

to go to sleep. Pops. Imagine jock, we see in your lullaby.

[Payton]

I was falling asleep. I almost fell back asleep after I saw that. I was like, oh, my God. Yeah, he was great.

[Cam]

Put you to trance, that is. Dude, I'm convinced at this point, as your friend, I'm convinced you've done something in an airport that is incredibly frowned upon or. Or possibly legal and you just haven't told us, which is fine. You don't need to disclose it. But there's no. There's no way.

[Payton]

Yeah.

[Cam]

There's no way you. You get a first class ticket that's not first class. Yeah. Then you sit next to pool, inflatable glove, men in black glasses. I'm gonna scream at you when it doesn't involve me, guy. There's no way you do that unless you did something up.

[Payton]

Yeah, no, I didn't. But it was a crazy flight experience, and I won't be flying that airline again. But we have a game that we want to get to.

[Cam]

Oh, my God.

[Payton]

So let's get to that. You should know podcast. This episode is brought to you by YSK's favorite. I mean, Fabletics.

[Cam]

Okay.

[Payton]

Now that it's finally spring, I've been outside a lot more, you know, bro, Walking more, making plans, traveling a bit, just doing more in general. And let me not even even go to what they have up here. I'm gonna speak from the heart. Fabletics is the best company in the entire world. Look, right now, me and Cam are wearing Fabletics.

[Cam]

Look at it.

[Payton]

Oh, my God. I'm wearing Fabletics shorts. He's wearing the pants. K. Rob off camera's wearing the shorts. YSK loves Fabletics is because we can literally wear anywhere like we're wearing on the podcast. I wear these to work out. I wear it to business meetings. I wear it to concerts. I wear it to dinners. I wear it literally everywhere, top to bottom. And they have literally so much versatility.

[Cam]

Oh, my God. It's. It's just. It really is so, so good. Y' all cannot just take our word for it. Go get you some Fabletics. The material, fantastic. The versatility, fantastic.

[Payton]

You're already repeating what I said, but when I signed up as a new VIP with Fabletics, I got 70 to 80% off of everything. Dude, Cam, 70 to 80% off. Oh, and you sign up as a VIP.

[Cam]

Oh I know.

[Payton]

70 to 80% off. That is crazy man. The quality is impeccable. Honestly, it just made me appreciate the membership even more. It's really a one stop shop man. You can get your everyday sets, your comfy pieces and even scrubs all in one place, which is pretty amazing. Shop [e-mail] ysk to get 70 to 80% off everything. When you sign up as a new VIP, take a quick style quiz and be sure to select YSK when prompted to unlock this offer. This is a limited time offer, so don't wait. Again this Fabletics.com YSK for 70 to 80% off of everything as a new VIP. We love you Fabletics. Genuinely. Now on to the rest of the episode.

[Cam]

Love you.

[Payton]

You should know podcast,

[Cam]

we're going to

[Payton]

be playing the trauma candy game. Now me and Cam fell in love with this game or this trend on TikTok. Basically, if you don't know what this is is, I, I don't know why candy's involved.

[Cam]

I don't. I think that's just the COVID to be honest.

[Payton]

Yeah. So we're going to play the trauma candy game. Basically what you do is you have a candy before you announce it or before you like present it, you have to say a trauma in your life. And the ones on TikTok, it's literally

[Cam]

to the point where you're like you probably should have kept that in or

[Payton]

you should go to law enforcement.

[Cam]

It is some, I mean some criminating. We're not giving you criminating trump. I'm not. Well actually no, I'm not giving you criminating, but we can give you some trump.

[Payton]

One of mine. I've said on the podcast before.

[Cam]

Okay.

[Payton]

But it's still traumatizing and like generally like I, I when I talk about on the podcast. Hehe. Haha. Imagine going through that as a kid. I'll tell you about whatever. Okay, all right, I'll go first.

[Cam]

Okay, go. You got it.

[Payton]

All right, you ready?

[Cam]

Yes sir. Yes sir, I'm ready.

[Payton]

All right. My first candy is Big Red.

[Cam]

What the. How are you already messing up? What do you mean Big Red? It's literally gum. It's not candy.

[Payton]

No Big Red. This is like a, like a spoof gum.

[Cam]

It's like a, it's a, I don't care what weird little adjective you put in front of it's gum. It's not kids gum.

[Payton]

As a kid, you didn't get Big Red as a treat.

[Cam]

I got Big Red as gum. It was gum. It's always been gum. It's not candy.

[Payton]

No, there's difference between gum and, like, candy gum. This is candy.

[Cam]

The only reason you're saying that's candy gum is because it's hot cinnamon. It's gum. You chew it. You don't swallow. You don't eat it. It and you spit it. It's gum.

[Payton]

I opened this pack up in the whole room illuminated with the odor.

[Cam]

No, it smell. It smells good.

[Payton]

That's a candy, bro. That's like a. That's a candy.

[Cam]

Something smells good.

[Payton]

It's candy now.

[Cam]

It's not. It's gum, bro.

[Payton]

This has, like. It's only two grams of sugar.

[Cam]

It's not candy. How do you mess up on the first.

[Payton]

No, as a kid, that's. My mom gave me this as can. I'm like, mommy, I want candy. She'll use a Big Red out of her purse, and it would always be loose.

[Cam]

That's because she. She just knew that you'd go with it when asked questions. No, that is, if I pulled out cobalt 5, can I say that's candy? It's gum. If I pulled out wintergreens.

[Payton]

No, no. That's different.

[Cam]

In orbit.

[Payton]

No, if it was spearmint. Spearmint's Gum, because that's made for breath freshening.

[Cam]

Dude, you're going off of flavor. You're going pure flavor.

[Payton]

Yes, you're going pure. This is candy gum.

[Cam]

It's Sour Patch Watermelon, which is fantastic. And there's butterscotch. Grandma Candy. Flavor might not hit the same. That's candy.

[Payton]

So you're saying the gum with the gooey middle is not candy?

[Cam]

I don't think anything. You don't swallow, like, name a candy you don't swallow.

[Payton]

Who doesn't swallow gum?

[Cam]

If you're swallowing gum. Dude, if you. First off, you think Big reds a candy, you're swallowing gum. Dude, you. You've covered the trauma already. You're fucked up. Like. I don't know. I don't know what else to say. Like, the game's over. Congrats. Like, that was fun. That was really good. You swallow gum, you think Big Red's candy. What? Oh, my God. Wait, Big Red.

[Payton]

I'm not.

[Cam]

No, Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Name four candies immediately that you would buy at a store.

[Payton]

Candy, Sour Patch Kid, Snickers, Twigs, Reese's Gummy Bears.

[Cam]

You know, candy.

[Payton]

That's Snickers is A chocolate bar, not a candy. Candy is like candy. Like candy taste candy.

[Cam]

Candy store candy is split into candy and gummies.

[Payton]

Candy, gummies.

[Cam]

That's gum. Not gummy. Gummy means soft. If you don't. First off, if you don't swallow it, it's. It cannot. It cannot.

[Payton]

You can swallow. I saw a gum. I saw a gum more than I spit it out.

[Cam]

My point doesn't even hold weight because you're. You're a Martian. You're not from here.

[Payton]

I always thought of, like, swallowing gum is like the same folktale as, like, swallowing a watermelon seed. Like, it's not actually bad for you. I'm not saying it's not, but that's where I grew up. And, like, I still do that because I don't want a litter.

[Cam]

You put it in the trash can.

[Payton]

Sometimes the trash can paper plate.

[Cam]

You put in the trash can, throw

[Payton]

it in your backyard when I'm driving. There's no trash cans in my car.

[Cam]

So you chew the gum till you get to the destination.

[Payton]

Oh, no, I want to drink my drink.

[Cam]

I mean, we actually said, hey, dude, let's do this candy trauma salad. And you brought gum.

[Payton]

Well, maybe that's my first strawberry. My mom gave me big red as candy.

[Cam]

Yeah, you went trick or treat, said, no, I didn't get any. Cobalt mint. No Wrigleys.

[Payton]

Oh, mama.

[Cam]

They didn't give me five this year. What the heck? The only thing that is remotely acceptable, the only gum that can even possibly make sense, is the double Bubble. And that's because they sell that in, like, the assorted candy mixes. Because that is.

[Payton]

This is the same thing as Hubble Bubble.

[Cam]

Dude, that's Wrigley's Big Red.

[Payton]

Like, I think got in my eyes.

[Cam]

That's so far.

[Payton]

You want a piece?

[Cam]

No, I'd love a piece, but that smell is incredible.

[Payton]

Dario, you had this growing up.

[Cam]

He said, oh, no.

[Payton]

I thought it was one of those scenes we were going to get together.

[Cam]

It wasn't you, dude.

[Payton]

You grew up different.

[Cam]

That's. That's the first trauma. Your mom said, here's some candy. She gave you a gum. If I could pee.

[Payton]

My first.

[Cam]

Your first song. Jesus. Okay, for my candy, I brought Goobers. I brought Goobers.

[Payton]

Never heard of a Goober. What's a Goober?

[Cam]

Oh, my God. It's. You never heard. It's milk. It's a. It's like a. It's just a chocolate covered peanut butter peanut.

[Payton]

So peanuts are candy, but gum's not.

[Cam]

The chocolate over the peanut makes It a candy.

[Payton]

Cinnamon makes it a candy.

[Cam]

It's gum. If I put cinnamon on a cucumber, it's not candy.

[Payton]

Who eats cinnamon? Cucumbers, though. Cucumbers and peanuts are basically in the same category though. Healthy snacks, that's a snack. But go ahead with your snack. Candy. What's your trauma?

[Cam]

When I was a child, I was at my friend's house and I was eating chicken nuggets with a fork. His dog bit me in the leg. And I went to look at the dog and went tore my two, my two front teeth. I separated them. So for three years after that I ate chicken nuggets with a spoon and everyone ridiculed me for it. I would have you up even in the lunchroom. I used a sport and I scooped him like it was soup for chicken nuggets.

[Payton]

That's my first instrument.

[Cam]

That is terrifying. I got a dog bite and I my own grill up off of ChickenUggies.

[Payton]

Okay. My second candy, I brought the Weather's Originals.

[Cam]

I mean like you're a grandmother. Weather's Original, that's candy, I'll give you that.

[Payton]

Yeah.

[Cam]

Are you 70? You're 27.

[Payton]

Weather's originals are top tier caramel treats.

[Cam]

Where's like skittles, like nerds, Gummy clusters. I don't know.

[Payton]

It's too much sugar.

[Cam]

I don't think you understand. If someone literally walked onto that couch and they saw a pack of Big Red and they saw Weather's Originals, they'd say oops, I think your grandma's purse spilled when she was here. That's. You're not giving 27 year old man candy. This is, I mean go trauma. Okay. I mean I'm getting heated.

[Payton]

My kid, he's a Weathers original.

[Cam]

You don't even sound confident.

[Payton]

Not anymore. And mine also, my trauma also has to do with the dog. So my grandma, she had a shih Tzu dog and it was my first time interacting with animals. And I remember watching cartoons and they said that cats would always land on their feet. So I was wondering if a dog would always land on its feet. And by the way, I was a really young kid. Yeah. And so I would like toss him up a little bit. And one time I tossed him up too much and he did land on his feet, but broke his leg. And then I left because my dad picked me up and we got a call from my grandma that the dog had a broken leg just in the middle of the living room. And it was the first time I heard her cry. And I brought Weather's original. It's my trauma. I think I'm starting to sweat.

[Cam]

No, no, I'm absolutely dripping. I'm beating and sweat. The craziest part about you, you just said I did the exact same thing to my sister's Chihuahua. His name was Braxton. I literally picked him up and I didn't even do it off of a scientist television thing. I just went and I would just drop him.

[Payton]

It's like a kid thing. Like you don't understand how the body works. Don't do that. I'm so sorry. Rip to Joey, by the way.

[Cam]

Yeah. He ended up having luck setting Patel's bad back porch on the guy. Because I just. I mean, it was probably 20 drops consecutively. And I just kept doing it. He tried to run away. I'd pick him up. I thought it was a game. I started playing cat and Matt mouse. Oh, my God.

[Payton]

Okay.

[Cam]

Haribo Gummy Bears.

[Payton]

That's haram.

[Cam]

That is not haram. This is candy.

[Payton]

Now it says, how is gummy bears candy? But gum is not. It's just a more chewy version of gum.

[Cam]

You are supposed to swallow this. The flavors are pineapple, lemon, raspberry, orange, and strawberry. You're supposed to ingest these. They're made to eat sweet treat candy. You buy it on the candy aisle.

[Payton]

You can buy gum on the candy aisle.

[Cam]

I know they do that for convenience. I knew you were gonna say that. Anyway, I brought the Haribo Gummy Bears or gold bears.

[Payton]

I thought those are always called Hasbro's.

[Cam]

I used to think that too. Hasbro's. The games, though, the cards.

[Payton]

All right.

[Cam]

I brought the gold bears. And my trauma is when I was young and growing up, my dad would always say, you're not allowed to get up until you clean your plate. It's really bad if you waste food.

[Payton]

Oh, this is a real one.

[Cam]

So then I got in a real conversation, like a really heated one one night, and he said, do not waste your food. So that. That November at Thanksgiving, I finished every single one of my family members plates when they were done with it. And they would try to put it in the trash can. And then we left for Black Friday shopping. And I threw up in the Walmart because I was absolutely filled with stuffing and rolls and green bean casserole. Lot of ham. The nasty parts on the ham too. I was eating gristle because I thought it was bad. I thought it was bad to win

[Payton]

waste like a pig using boats.

[Cam]

My Aunt Karen set it down. I was like, oh, yeah, go cowboys. We can't Waste the food. We can't waste the food. And I blew chunks inside of a Walmart. My mom was so embarrassed. We went Black Friday shopping, threw up all the Walmart.

[Payton]

And I think that still affects you a little bit.

[Cam]

I think I'm finally weaning off of it. I've been living with. Oh no. I'm be like you get, you're done. Whatever you want, boy. Yeah, that, that's my sort. I brought the Hasbro gold bears.

[Payton]

Okay, my last one, My last one. I brought the watermelon hard chew candies.

[Cam]

Oh, now you're taught. I mean, okay, now you're talking, but you're 80 years old. That is a purse. Oh, that's a.

[Payton]

You can't tell me these aren't top tier.

[Cam]

Those are. No, that's an elite, elite candy for Gladys. That's an elite candy for a, for a deacon at a church like that church. You, you are on wooden pews. That's what I'm telling you. You're not like, you're not in 2026. Like I'm almost convinced you didn't buy those in like a Walmart. Like you can't buy those at Walmart. You have old people candy. Think about it. You brought three things out. No one even gets on Halloween. Like no one gets those on Halloween.

[Payton]

I would love this on Halloween.

[Cam]

It'd be great. But you're knocking on 40 year olds doors. You're not knocking at the nursery.

[Payton]

But this is a candy.

[Cam]

Yes, it's an elite candy.

[Payton]

Yes.

[Cam]

So thank you dog. If you took you out of the mix and just looked at that couch Weather's originals. The, the OG strawberries and big Red. That is somebody's uncle. That is an uncle Calvin right there.

[Payton]

The candies I grew up on because I, I guess I wasn't allowed to have candy. But I didn't know. And that's just what they would give me is gum, caramel and watermelon. I grew up in the church.

[Cam]

Yeah, I do.

[Payton]

That is true. Because whenever I was. I mean that's a trauma too. I wasn't allowed to have gum in the church because I was eating candy in the church. So I was chewing gum one time in the church, which. Cause I was like, ooh, candy. It would make me focus. And my mom took the gum candy out of my mouth and put it on my forehead and I was meeting people, you know, it was like Ash Wednesday, how they do that. But mine was just a big red on there. But that's not what I was gonna say. For my trauma, I'll just add that. Bonus trauma.

[Cam]

Bonus trauma. Thanks for the sidebar.

[Payton]

But my. So I brought the watermelon Hard Candies Elite. I've talked about these before, but my trauma is when I moved into an apartment complex with my family. The family above me, directly above me. They were. There's a first time in America.

[Cam]

Yeah.

[Payton]

And I remember going, looking. We had a balcony at our apartment, right? And I remember looking out there, and there was just, like, a big puddle of red in the middle of our balcony. And we looked up, and there was just, like, red dropping from the balcony above us. Come to find out, they were severing like a. Some sort of goat on the balcony directly above us. They didn't understand that was not okay.

[Cam]

It was not culturally appropriate.

[Payton]

I looked up there, and there was just like a. Like a. Like a goat or something looking at me like that. And they had sliced it open, and it was just dripping blood onto our balcony. I was a young boy, and I think a little bit hit me in the forehead. They got evicted after that, but, yeah, they did. But as you can see, whenever I got my own apartment, you never saw me, not on the top floor. I was always scared of apartments above me after that.

[Cam]

So that's. And you brought the strawberry candies.

[Payton]

I brought the strawberry candies.

[Cam]

Goat sacrifice in the year 2000. It's crazy.

[Payton]

Oh, I don't know. They were cooking, I think.

[Cam]

Oh, you don't know.

[Payton]

I don't. I don't know what they're doing.

[Cam]

That was a Bethlehem special. I mean, they were ready for any plague coming.

[Payton]

Boy, God bless them.

[Cam]

All right, now. All right, my final candy now. I brought the mini stickers, but I did get a little hungry on the car.

[Payton]

Right? That looks awfully open.

[Cam]

Yeah, it came with five. We're down to two. They're quite small, but. Yeah, Here you go. Pretty good for your calories, too. It's only 80, so.

[Payton]

80 in this one thing, it is worth it.

[Cam]

Dude, it's a Snickers.

[Payton]

Oh, they say Snickers.

[Cam]

It's a Snickers.

[Payton]

All right. Trauma.

[Cam]

So it's crazy enough because mine has to do with church, too.

[Payton]

Oh, God, this is so bad.

[Cam]

Okay, so I brought the Snickers.

[Payton]

Careful.

[Cam]

When I was young, I was at a church. I went to a friend's church, actually, and they. It was a fantastic sermon. I was very moved. And they said, like, if you've never accepted Christ in your life, like, you know, raise your hand, whatever. And then. So I did that. It was Beautiful. It was a great moment. And then they took me out outside

[Payton]

the church to the front of the

[Cam]

back, took to the side, to the side, if we're being honest, partial to the side. And there was like maybe a group of 10 people that all raised their hand stuff. They said, we're doing flash baptisms right now.

[Payton]

And I was, you know, and on

[Cam]

the spot baptism and on the spot baptism. A, I don't have a change of clothes. B, I don't know how to swim yet. I was pretty young and I was absolutely. I mean, if I'm being honest, I was terrified of the water. Like I could not be in a pool without holding onto the rail.

[Payton]

And you hold your nose.

[Cam]

Yeah, I hold my nose. I wore. I wore an Under Armour compression in the pool and I held onto the side rails. So they said, we're doing flash baptisms. And I said, yeah, I'm not ready for God yet because I was afraid of the water. I said, you know, I can't do this. I'm going to go back inside now. They said, no, it's okay. No, I can't get in the water. I said, I can. I'll accept another day. And I went back inside and sat in the pew. Then I started crying because I was just unbelievable. I didn't have my compression shirt, didn't get baptized. I accepted the Lord. But then I said, I'm not ready because. Just because I'm afraid of water. And I brought the Snickers.

[Payton]

It's not your fault. It's not your fault. You shouldn't. It should be a scheduled day.

[Cam]

I mean, you can't. I mean, I mean, maybe a kiddie pool.

[Payton]

I would have said, yeah, let me know before I stand up, dude.

[Cam]

And when you see that, when you see that from the pews, I mean, that thing looks like it's a. It's a 12ft. It looks like you're jumping straight into the deep. It was terrible.

[Payton]

I'm not mad at you. That's not a bad thing.

[Cam]

I said, no, but it was.

[Payton]

You didn't do anything.

[Cam]

It was trauma filled. Best believe I learned how to swim that summer.

[Payton]

Well, yes or no? Do you want some of my weathers?

[Cam]

I would love a weather. Honestly, they're. Dude, weathers are just. No, they're weathers or Werther's.

[Payton]

Yeah. So I. I'm not gonna lie, K. Rob saw me bring this in and I've never seen him so excited.

[Cam]

You love a good weathers. I mean, they are. They are fantastic. Am I dragging it though. Or did he literally bring straight old people candy?

[Payton]

I gotta talk to my mom about that. I'm not a But, you know, I'm not a candy guy.

[Cam]

Yeah, you're.

[Payton]

This is my but this is my candy.

[Cam]

But that's like. I feel like if a alien touched down, like even a literal extraterrestrial touchdown. And you're like, hey, go get a candy. He'd be like, what's candy? And then if you showed him big red and you showed him sour patch, he'd be like, ooh, that one. And he'd get the sour patch every time.

[Payton]

That's why we look the way we look right now. All right. I grew up on gum. You grew up on.

[Cam]

I grew up on leftover trash can ham.

[Payton]

Yeah, but get us out of here, man. That was a great episode.

[Cam]

Appreciate you coming back to another. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

[Payton]

Extend. No clue.

[Cam]

Thank you so much. Coming back. Episode 217 that top link in the description you should knowstudios.com Tour tickets are available right now. They are selling. They're like hot cakes.

[Payton]

They fly in.

[Cam]

You need to reserve your seat and get your booty at that theater. The second link is the Patreon. The one and only the koala club. We don't care if you Cubs prime or royalty, just come and join the greatest community and family on the earth. And that third link right there, that is YSK unplugged, our second channel. Anything that goes on unplugged, if you want it completely uncensored, you want it completely ad free and you want it a week early or more. Or more. Go join the Koala Club. Patreon. Y' all already know you get everything before anybody else. That's never going to change. We absolutely love y'. All.

[Payton]

The Sarah and Payton Q and A. If it hasn't already come out. I promise it's coming soon because we are very busy. Yes, that's going to be on Patreon highly request. All questions are came from Patreon and Patreon gets to see it first.

[Cam]

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. We absolutely love y' all confuse casuals. Get your good karma with this week's secret code. And that is this is. This is true test. See if you stay to the end. See if you watch that. Trauma gum candy salad.

[Payton]

TCS tamales came Monday.

[Cam]

Trauma candy salad.

[Payton]

Remember, one out of two koala bears don't make it home to Christmas. And we'll see you next time.

[Cam]

Yeah. No, no. I can swim now and I'm saved.