THEY CAUGHT US TOGETHER! -You Should Know Podcast-

Summary

You Should Know Podcast – Episode: THEY CAUGHT US TOGETHER! Release Date: January 27, 2025
Host: Peyton Hardin
Co-Host: Cameron Kennedy
Produced by: Wood Elf Media

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Introduction and Special Announcements

Peyton Hardin opens the episode with heartfelt updates regarding his co-host, Cameron Kennedy, who has recently become a father. Peyton shares the excitement surrounding Cam’s new role as a parent and discusses upcoming changes to the podcast schedule due to Cam’s paternity leave.

“Next week's episode is the episode with Kane Brown so you can see that also. So we'll have about 45 minutes before of just me and co-host Cam...”
[01:04] - Peyton Hardin

Peyton also introduces the extended, uncensored version of the episode available on Patreon, expressing gratitude toward their loyal listener base.

Welcoming Guests and New Family Dynamics

The studio welcomes several regulars, including Auntie Ashlyn, Ryan, C.J. Pierce, and Mama Liv. The conversation naturally shifts to the dynamics of welcoming a new family member, as Peyton and Cam prepare for the arrival of Cam’s baby.

“Mama Liv, because this is the week that our baby boy has finally joined us on this side of the womb.”
[102:30] - Peyton Hardin

Personal Anecdotes and Parenting Discussions

The hosts delve into humorous and relatable parenting topics, sharing personal experiences and fears about becoming parents. Cameron expresses his nervousness about attending the first few weeks at home with the newborn, fearing the overwhelming attention from family and the chaotic adjustments to daily life.

“I don't want to be there the first week.”
[17:10] - Cameron Kennedy

Peyton reassures Cam, emphasizing that these initial challenges are temporary and part of the new normal.

Navigating Time Zones and Daily Life

In a lighter segment, Peyton and Cameron discuss the peculiarities of time zones, sparked by a FaceTime conversation with friends in New York. They humorously debate the science behind time zones and express confusion over how global time synchronization works.

“What's the science behind a time zone?”
[53:27] - Cameron Kennedy

DMV Diaries and Social Interactions

Peyton shares an entertaining story about a chaotic visit to a large DMV, highlighting the absurdities and peculiar encounters one might face in such settings. The discussion touches on interactions with overly enthusiastic staff and the frustrations of waiting in long lines.

“There's a seven-year-old girl that had a briefcase that was by herself... It was confusing to see someone so young in a DMV.”
[34:12] - Peyton Hardin

Games and Listener Engagement

The podcast incorporates interactive games such as “Most Likely To,” where the hosts and guests predict which member of their group fits certain humorous scenarios. This segment fosters camaraderie and provides listeners with entertaining insights into the personalities of each host.

“Most likely to get us kicked out of a club.”
[79:28] - Cameron Kennedy

Through these games, the hosts reveal quirky traits and shared histories, enhancing the listener’s connection to their friendship and personal lives.

Humorous Parenting Predictions

The conversation evolves into playful predictions about how their new baby will perceive them as parents and relatives. The hosts joke about potential future interactions, emphasizing their strong bond and playful rivalry.

“He's gonna like me because Uncle P's bringing him toy Lamborghinis every time he sees him.”
[67:24] - Cameron Kennedy

Final Thoughts and Future Episodes

As the episode concludes, Peyton and Cameron reflect on their journey as friends and co-hosts, expressing gratitude for their listeners and teasing future content that will delve deeper into their personal lives and parenting adventures.

“Malachi’s going to scrape out here. Just kidding.”
[102:45] - Peyton Hardin

They invite listeners to join their Patreon for exclusive content and extended versions of the episodes, ensuring continued engagement and support from their audience.

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Notable Quotes

• Peyton Hardin [01:04]:
  “This episode is pre-recorded. If you are seeing this episode that means Mama Living co-host Cam had their baby.”

• Cameron Kennedy [17:10]:
  “I don't want to be there the first week.”

• Peyton Hardin [34:12]:
  “There's a seven-year-old girl that had a briefcase that was by herself... It was confusing to see someone so young in a DMV.”

• Cameron Kennedy [53:27]:
  “What's the science behind a time zone?”

• Peyton Hardin [79:28]:
  “Most likely to get us kicked out of a club.”

• Cameron Kennedy [67:24]:
  “He's gonna like me because Uncle P's bringing him toy Lamborghinis every time he sees him.”

• Peyton Hardin [102:45]:
  “He's here. He's been born. Leave live some love. She's gonna watch this episode with Malachi.”

---

Conclusion

In this engaging episode of the You Should Know Podcast, hosts Peyton Hardin and Cameron Kennedy blend humor, personal anecdotes, and interactive segments to provide listeners with an intimate glimpse into their lives. From welcoming a new family member to navigating everyday challenges, the episode encapsulates the essence of their friendship and dedication to entertaining their audience. With memorable quotes and relatable discussions, this episode is a must-listen for both long-time fans and newcomers eager to connect with the hosts’ authentic personalities.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[B]

Welcome back to the you should know podcast. Round of applause please. Oh hey everybody, welcome back to the you should know podcast. If you're a new hero, if you're not already below you see the subscribe button and pressed ear wrong. If you leave more below that you see the comment sections are fulfilled with your name. Guess what? Even more on go and fill that out. Let me be completely honest with you right now this episode is pre recorded. If you are seeing this episode that means Mama Living co host Cam had their baby. Cam has off the next this week and next week so the next two episodes are going to be pre recorded. Next week's episode is the episode with Kane Brown so you can see that also. So we'll have about 45 minutes before of just me and co host Cam and then the week after that. That's when Cam and Mama. I don't know if Mama Liv will come in but Cam will come in and he will talk about all things childhood and fatherhood and we're so excited. This is a very exciting time for us. We have everybody in the studio with us today. We got Auntie Ashlyn back in the studio, we got Ryan back in the studio and of course we got C.J. pierce and Mama we love you so much. This week's extended is going to be absolutely hilarious and the ad free and uncensored version will be available on Patreon. Y'all are loving it so far and we are so thankful for everybody that has joined the Koala Club. Whatever tier you are in, we love you, we love you, we love you. Everybody go wish Mama living. Co host Cam. Congratulations in the comments. Now on to the rest of the episode, the you should know podcast. Oh, we got co host. We got co host dude.

[A]

That's.

[B]

It's. You never get the proper dude.

[C]

You got a conga line.

[A]

We literally like, hey. Oh. And it was co host cam.

[B]

They go, hey, I'm gonna do it one more time because you are now a father.

[A]

I deserve it. Come on. I'm a pop up.

[B]

We got co host. Back in the studio, baby.

[A]

Oh, good job.

[B]

Oh, now I'm a little.

[A]

I'm glad to be here.

[B]

I got a little blood flow now.

[A]

I don't. I have a rash. Rash?

[B]

You have a rash?

[A]

It's on my rat. A rash on my.

[B]

How'd that get there?

[A]

From that friction.

[B]

Oh, a lot of movement now.

[A]

Pennies are loose.

[B]

I want to parlay from your panties in your. Your ass. Trash. You're a father now.

[A]

I'm a father? Well, no, no. At this exact moment. No, no. When y'all are seeing this. Yes.

[B]

Dude. Crazy wild. Well, he looks just like you.

[A]

So cute. Like.

[D]

Oh, no.

[A]

He's gooey and gross.

[B]

Yeah. That's what I am nervous about it.

[A]

Oh, they're gonna. He's gonna be a little gross.

[B]

I know. I've said that. I've said this before, and we've talked about your son. Right. I'm so excited for it. I love your son already.

[A]

Already?

[B]

Not sure. Optically.

[A]

Yeah, optically. Visually, picture form kid might not be the best right out the shoot.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But he's got develop. He's got. His bones got to come in a lot harder. He's very moldable right now.

[B]

Like a piece.

[A]

Like a big sack of Play doh.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Play doh. With a heart.

[B]

I used to eat. Play doh. Won't eat your son. Let's put that out there.

[A]

That's good. I'm very glad you won't eat my kid.

[B]

Yeah. You ate Play doh. No. No, not either.

[A]

I never. I ate fire ants, though, one time in the summer.

[B]

No. Yeah.

[A]

Now that's Caucasian. Now, the Play doh, I think, is for all races and people. Eating an ant is very, very Mountains of Caucasus.

[B]

Yeah. What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten other than the ant?

[A]

The weirdest thing I've ever eaten. I tried. I tried baby formula a couple days ago.

[B]

What's that?

[A]

The powder that you mix with warm distilled water to feed the child. I tried it.

[B]

How did that go?

[A]

Tasted like blood. It literally tasted like iron Like. Like it tastes. I went like. We put in a bottle and everything. I sucked to clean out the nipple. That part's nice.

[B]

Good morning.

[A]

Good morning.

[B]

Good for the oral fixation. Yeah.

[A]

You just sit there. Yeah.

[B]

Love that.

[A]

Had a lot of reps before I went to bottle. I'll send you a bottle. Had a lot of practice before I went to that bottle nipple, but. And the real ones are better. We'll just say that the real nipples are better. Nice and warm. They feel soft. There's no flat.

[B]

You ever get a hair?

[A]

No. Now, does my wife's nipples grow hair? Yes.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Does she remove it just as she does with her mustache? Yes.

[B]

One time. One time I was talking to a.

[A]

Girl, you sucked a nipple hair.

[B]

And there was one. Just one, like, thick, long one. I liked her a lot, so I just. It was a part of the experience.

[A]

You didn't stop her and say, ma'am, you have a dreadlock on your nipple. You didn't stop her and say, hey, that is something that would get a whole plate of spaghetti thrown away. You just. You just maneuvered around it and sucked.

[B]

I didn't maneuver around it. It was a part of the experience. It was like a double decker bus at that point.

[A]

You had a nipple hair and an areola.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In your mouth, sucking at once. You are a sick. You. Oh, you're a desperate man, you. That was. Desperate times call for desperate measures. No, but it tasted like. I bit my lips. It was like blood.

[B]

But that's not a bad thing because I. We've talked about weird, strange smells. We like a weird taste that I like is the taste of blood.

[A]

See, you're.

[B]

Well, not from foreigners, but like my blood.

[A]

You are a vampire?

[B]

No, like, because I have, I think, early stage of gingivitis. Like, enamel is ruined. You know what I mean?

[A]

I could. I could see that. I go, you know, I'm not going to say no. I could see where you're coming from.

[B]

If I push on my permanent retainer on the bottom.

[A]

But that's not.

[B]

It will ooze through the gaps in my bottom teeth. I'll just suck it up. Just.

[A]

Now, there. And there's women. There's women that. Their tongue.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

You know, cut to the chase.

[B]

A little bit of flavor.

[A]

There's tongues. Yeah, it's been in your mouth.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's not your tongue.

[B]

Foreign tongue.

[A]

And not only are they feeling train track downstairs, not only are they feeling.

[B]

A little bit of railroad.

[A]

A barbell, but they're getting some blood. So someone else's tongue is in your mouth, hitting the deadlift and bleeding.

[B]

It's like adding a little bit of.

[A]

Meal, and then they remove and they go, damn, that was good. And they go back.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is your blood sweet?

[B]

No. No, it's. It's blood.

[A]

Are you a wretched, cursed man? Do you. Do you have a curse, a spell over these women?

[B]

No, but I've stopped reading comments because, you know, when I laugh and I. I. And, like, throw my head back and my mouth's real open, very big. Some people have screenshot it and circled the holes in my teeth at the top. Let's put that out there. So I've had to stop looking at those. No, I do. I need to. I need. I need some kind of dental work.

[A]

Circle the. You have holes in your teeth.

[B]

Oh, it's like little black matter. It's like a real insecurity.

[A]

47. 6 with cavities.

[B]

No, I have bad enamel. That's not my fault. That's not my fault. No, no, no.

[A]

Whose fault is it?

[B]

I've always been subjective to cavities.

[A]

From what?

[B]

Weak enamel? It's a genetic thing. I swear to God. Thank you. Yeah.

[A]

Genetic in what way?

[B]

Now you're trying to go. You're trying to go to a different route.

[A]

Does your father have weak teeth, or is your mom.

[B]

Well, I never got that far into the family tree. I barely just met my uncle the other day, so I was like, that.

[A]

Man is not supposed to be in your Christmas picture. Who, man? He's not your family. Does Preston have bad teeth?

[B]

No, Preston has great teeth. Preston has great everything.

[A]

So it's not. So it's not genetic?

[B]

No. Well, yes. Well, from a different side. Well, genetics don't go from both sides all the time. Your brother and your sister are not gonna have the same problems just because y'all are related. You might get one thing from the other.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

You know what I mean? Like, what'd you get from your dad?

[A]

Stubbornness. Yeah, I got stubbornness for sure. And a mustache.

[B]

I think what I got from my dad is. I think because he's very competitive. Mark is very competitive, Ultra competitive. But there's a point, right? I just figured out the other day that my dad played 37U sports.

[A]

What?

[B]

He was in a 37U sports organization.

[A]

Like 37 years old.

[B]

Sports.

[A]

They wore jerseys and had a coach.

[B]

They had practices. Cam. No, they did not know. They watched no film.

[A]

No, they did not.

[B]

Cam. He took it so serious.

[A]

What? Okay. And this. This matters a lot.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What Sport flag football. Okay, okay.

[B]

What did you think?

[A]

If it would have been anything, if you would have said basketball, if you said there's a 37U basketball program that had a coach film and practices. When these men have pensions and they are practicing with another man coaching them for the grand prize of nothing, then I would say he's an idiot.

[B]

I don't think you're too far from it though. I think you're going to be that guy.

[A]

There's a difference between men's league, hey, I'm a drive myself this game, I'm a play the game and I'm a leave and then a whole organization.

[B]

That's the same thing.

[A]

With a coach in practice and film.

[B]

That's the same thing.

[A]

Oh, no, there's not.

[B]

How is it different?

[A]

Me, myself and I, I sign up, I drive, I play, I leave, you're dead. He signs up, he goes, gets coached, he goes watch film, he goes practices, he goes and scouts the other team.

[B]

That's an elite level of men's league.

[A]

Elite level of delusion. No, that is sickening.

[B]

You don't think you'll be that?

[A]

You were alive, you were here.

[B]

No, I was functioning.

[A]

Think about it. You were here and your dad said, I can't take you to the movies tonight. I got a big game. Tonight's the quarterfinals. Can't take you to Spider Man. How does it make you feel?

[B]

I appreciated it. I was like, he's working for something.

[A]

For what? Yeah, a participation trophy for 40 year olds.

[B]

Okay, you wouldn't do, you wouldn't do that with me when we're, when we're 40. Hopefully the podcast is over at that point. Let's hope we're not doing this.

[A]

We're back again. Episode 1472 we got we're bad guys.

[B]

You wouldn't do that with me.

[A]

I would. Yes, I would do, but there's a difference. You made it seem like this is a full blown. Like we have a coach, there's management, there's film.

[B]

Well, there's not management.

[A]

Our would be like, hey, we got a game Thursday. Let's show up five minutes early so we can stretch a little.

[B]

Yeah, but why? If you're gonna do something, do it to its fullest exact go all out.

[A]

No, you just hoop, you hoop, you leave.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Flag football would be fun though.

[B]

It would be fun.

[A]

Flag football would be fun, but I'm bad. I feel like you'd be good at football. I wouldn't be.

[B]

I think I'm gonna be chair bound by the time I'm 28, so I don't know. You know what I mean? I don't think I got much time on these two legs.

[A]

So you're the coach. You're the coach for sure. You're like, God, dip. You just start coming out. You said, why didn't you run the sled? You just hit a little chair. If we got to a point where Pierce.

[B]

Yeah, Pierce.

[A]

Is an active player on our team, and you're in a wheelchair. The world's. We've lost.

[B]

I genuinely am starting to get concerned for my health.

[A]

What do you mean? There's nothing wrong with your lower extremities.

[B]

Wake up in the morning, it's like. I'm like, Malcolm. Like, it takes me a little bit of grease and a lot of, like, motivation to get started. You know what I mean? It's like, you know, when you get inside of a car, you gotta, like, warm that up a little bit. I'm turning into that car.

[A]

Wake up. Like, from here up, you're fully functional. You can roll over, you can grab your flat Diet Coke, you can grab your phone, but your legs are just like. Like this. You're having to, like, drag yourself out of the bed.

[B]

I'm like Mr. Herbert's dog.

[A]

Oh, my. Okay. Yeah, that's.

[B]

And you're like, Mr. Herbert.

[A]

Whoever can take the most tithe on RPM wins.

[B]

Oh, shit.

[A]

Did you. Did you get to watch Family Guy?

[B]

I loved it. That's all I watched. Why do you think I'm the way I am now that in South Park.

[A]

I didn't get to watch Family Guy at all?

[B]

Oh, you were one of those households.

[A]

Yeah, my mom. My mom thought Harry Potter was sacrilegious.

[B]

Why does the smells. I'm kidding.

[A]

She didn't. My friends. My friend's parents literally said, you're not allowed to watch Harry Potter.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Being told in present form. Yeah, that's like. You can't watch. What's the biggest shit? When we were, like, kind of adult, like, you can't watch the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

[B]

Oh, no, that's. That's.

[A]

That's bad. That's a. That's jail. Like.

[B]

Yeah, bro.

[A]

My friend's parents said Harry Potter was sacrilegious.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you shouldn't watch it.

[B]

My friend's parents said no Powerpuff Girls. It was like. It was. It was more, I think, was the attire.

[A]

I think it's because they're there.

[B]

I think it was the. But, like, my. My.

[A]

How old are they before I want to retract My statement, how old are the Powerpuff Girls when they're in action now?

[B]

How old are they?

[A]

They need to retract.

[B]

They were definitely under a household of an adult. They were.

[A]

They were wearing.

[B]

They were young.

[A]

I need to take that back. Yeah, I need to take that statement back. Yeah.

[B]

100.

[A]

Their haunches were out. No, that's. No, that's bad. That's wicked. I need to remove that.

[B]

Look at their cart. Well, it doesn't make it better.

[A]

Nalo is. Oh, man.

[B]

Yeah. It's strange thing that you had it. Okay. But whenever I was a kid, it's very strange. You know, the household I grew up in, there was no filter. We wild things. That's how we got along. Loud stomps Preston's definitely walking you.

[A]

Oh, Preston's up. He's just like.

[B]

But like, we would as a family, we would watch south park, we would watch Family Guy, and we were like the worst jokes they made. We were like, this is hilarious. We love this.

[A]

That is something.

[B]

But I wasn't allowed to watch Johnny Bravo.

[A]

That's strange. Why?

[B]

My mom was like, I don't like the way he treats women. And I said, mom, there's a guy on south park named Token because he's the only black guy. We're talking about Johnny Bravo.

[A]

Johnny Cool shades. Bravo.

[B]

What?

[D]

Girls are a five year old kindergartner.

[B]

But we're going to. We're going to pretend like you didn't. You didn't know.

[A]

I did not.

[B]

You didn't know. How was your week, bubble? What have you been doing? Even though this is pre recorded, pre.

[A]

Recorded week is pretty regular, like, right. It was a normal week. It was fun. It was cool. When y'all see this, this week will be hell. It'll be heaven and hell. Heaven being. My son has joined us. Hell being. I'm probably currently running on two hours of sleep.

[B]

Yeah, it's gonna be rough.

[A]

That's why the gracious boss himself granted me two weeks off. I'm gonna try to get through it, be there for my wife, be the rock for our family and my son. Okay. Hopefully I'm looking him in his just little buggy eyes right now. Playing with his fat little gut.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Rubbing his little weird, weirdly soft armpits.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, excuse me.

[A]

Grabbing that little foot, changing that old diaper. I'm putting that little sucker a little swaddle. And I'm swaddling.

[B]

Dad, when do I get to. Okay, I know. Okay, we got to talk about. I'll be in the Waiting room for the birth. Right.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And so I'll probably. Whenever he's all showered up.

[A]

Oh, he has. He doesn't bathe at two hours old. They kind of take a rag and they wipe the goo off of him. They just kind of go.

[B]

But I'm. I'm going through this thing in my head. I don't know when I want to come over to the house.

[A]

So we are. We. We have been talking about it too, hopefully, because A, these waiting rooms not as big as we thought. B, lot of family coming down. So basically, we don't know. We don't know either, to be honest. Like, to the house. To that. Yeah. I mean, I'm saying because that's. That's you, too. Like, you might not want to live. Might not want to. The first day out of the hospital, you got eight people at your crib trying to see the kids.

[B]

Let me say this. Let me say this. I don't want to be there the first week.

[A]

That's no messed up.

[B]

Oh, no, it's not, bro.

[A]

You're gonna. Hey, the first time you see me, you're gonna knock on the door. I'm gonna answer it. Well, honest to God, what would you do if I was in, like, sweatpants? One was rolled up right here. I had two different slippers on.

[B]

I was like.

[A]

I was like, hey, bro. I was like, thank you for coming.

[B]

And I was just like. I was literally.

[A]

I'd be like, what if I had a. Like, five o'clock shadow? You're like, when did you shave? I was like, I didn't. They fell out. I was just like. I was just, like, miserable.

[B]

I would literally go home. I'd be like, I'm gonna try again in a month, bro. Like, I don't want. I don't want anything to do with that kind of environment.

[A]

We'll. We'll zoom record for next.

[B]

Dude, I'm. That's the thing I've been dealing with, brother.

[A]

What?

[B]

I'm scared.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because it's hectic?

[A]

It. No, I mean, it is, but it's. It's. But it'll become the new norm for us. That's all it is. Like, it for y'all?

[B]

Yeah. It's not gonna be the new norm for me.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

I keep getting those comments and on the street, Like, I'll meet fans. Like, we go out and we meet fans. Where's Cam at? I'll be like, oh, his wife's about to give birth, so he's in the house, and they'll Be like, oh, yeah. Like, oh, yeah. Like, are you ready? And I'll be like, well, I have no part. Like, I didn't.

[A]

No, that's his kid, not mine. No relation here.

[B]

And I tell them, and they're like, no, no, your life's going to change forever. And I said, no, it's not.

[A]

Is that not sick, though? You're welcome.

[B]

But is my life going to change?

[A]

No, you're welcome.

[B]

It's not going to.

[A]

I got you. But it will. How your life will change. How? You are now going to be an uncle forever.

[B]

My night. Well, not really. Yeah, if I. Like.

[A]

Yes, legally.

[B]

No, I'm not. Yeah, I get legal.

[A]

No, I don't know. I'm just saying. You are an uncle.

[B]

No, I'm saying. But if I choose one day, I want no part.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, you're out. But don't do that.

[B]

No, I won't. But I'm saying my life won't change. My. My wake up to my go to sleep is not different.

[A]

Yeah, that won't change. But you, like when you go through a target instead of. Right. Instead of just buying, like, whatever, like, water in frozen chicken, you're gonna be walking through. You get the water, you get the frozen chicken. On the way out, you go, ooh, that's a cool little thing for Malachi.

[B]

Like, you're.

[A]

I do that. Eyes are gonna be jaded.

[B]

I do that already. But I don't really understand what's appropriate for a baby yet. Like, because I. You told me when you gave me that quiz that toys aren't on the list.

[A]

Brother, he can't even see. You know, when he comes out, he won't be able to see more than eight inches in front of him. Eight inches?

[B]

That's a joke. I'm ready to go with.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. You Houston Rocket Man. You. No, no, no. Let me.

[B]

Come on. We can mute it. It's all right. Come on, now. Bob his head around.

[A]

Oh, great. Charles. Dude, dude. Beethoven. You know Beethoven. Let's just break into that. You know, Beethoven was supposedly deaf. The Beethoven. The music guy, the mother that can make. He can't hear that Beethoven. Can I, like. Can I play you a part of this real quick?

[B]

Yeah, play me a part of it, dog.

[A]

This was dead. Are you.

[B]

No way. Where are we reading this from, bro?

[A]

I swear to you, this. Oh, just wait. This. This is, like. Now there's two. This guy couldn't hear. This might be a. I don't know. You're lying, dude. There. Why do people there People lie, I.

[B]

Think, with our historical figures. Right?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

What's her name on Frank?

[A]

Amelia.

[B]

Amelia.

[A]

Amelia Earhart.

[B]

Yeah. They're saying she was.

[A]

She could see. She can see. Or the guy behind her could because.

[B]

They said she wrote a book. Helen Keller.

[A]

Wait. Oh, yeah. Damn it. We did.

[B]

We have learned nothing.

[A]

We did it again.

[B]

So Helen Keller. But I'm. They're saying. They're saying Helen Keller was writing books and flying planes.

[A]

See, but my. Like, like, honestly, the only way. And this is very possible, but we have to be honest. No, Helen Keller didn't fly the plane. We didn't know she did.

[B]

Yes. I'm telling you, they said she. She flew a plane. And under the thing.

[A]

No, that's it.

[B]

That's.

[A]

I'm telling you. This is like this carriage with her.

[C]

Parents at the picnic.

[A]

This.

[B]

She just. Is that Humpty Dumpty. What the did.

[A]

You're singing like Robin Hood.

[B]

Okay, so had the fever and she.

[C]

Was out with her pants.

[A]

How do you know her medical history? How do you know her medical history? Medical school. I.

[B]

The hell.

[D]

I thought it was black.

[A]

Of course she was.

[B]

The.

[A]

You should know podcast.

[B]

This episode is brought to you by our friends at Shopify. I know some people out there have a business idea that they are just waiting to get started. It's 2025, everybody, and a new year means new opportunities for a lot of you out there. I know you've been thinking about one thing over the holidays, and that is starting your own business. But I know you have so many questions. How do I get started? How do I come up with a brand? How do I sell stuff to the people? And what am I even going to sell? Just take a deep breath because Shopify's got you. How do I know? Because I've had the same questions whenever I started, and here's what I learned. The best time to start your new business is right now. And Shopify makes it simple to create your brand, open for business and get your first sale, get your store up and running easy with thousands of customizable, customizable templates. No coding or design skills required. Thank God, because I don't have those. All you need to do is drag and drop. What happens if you don't act now? Will you regret it? What if someone beats you to the idea? Just don't kick yourself when you hear this again in a year, because you didn't do anything right now. Established in 2025. Has a nice ring to it, don't it? Sign up for your $1 per month. Trial period at shopify.com/ysk all lowercase go to shopify.com ysk to start selling with Shopify today, shopify.com ysk Cha Ching. Now on to the rest of the episode.

[A]

Oh, my God. Okay, I did not tell you this the other day when I say this is the most. This is the most inappropriate answer to a question or statement I have ever heard ever in my life in terms of fast food.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

So me and Live, we were. We were coming back from our OB appointment. Again, we're at that point where they're weekly. Yeah. Right.

[B]

A lot of. A lot of hooks.

[A]

Mmm. Only there's only. It was two. And it wasn't a hook.

[B]

No.

[A]

What's it more of a straw bridge? Like a. Like a straight in there, straight in there, and straight out. All right. But, yeah, no. No hook in action. We're not hanging stockings, but. So on the way back from the OB appointment, we go through McDonald's. Best place on earth, Actually, I just lied. I drop her off, come back, I go get the McDonald's. She was tired. I go through. I swear on everything. I literally go, boom. I'm driving up, order my food. She goes, what do you want to drink? I go, do y'all have Powerade? Because our McDonald's is always out, so I go, do you have Powerade? She goes, no. We got Diet Coke, though.

[B]

Perfect.

[A]

What. In what mind space do you have to be in for me to go, do you have Powerade? No, but we have Diet Coke. You would think since. Does that make.

[B]

You would think the next order would be lemonade.

[A]

Lemonade. Hey, y'all got steak? No, we got mashed potatoes. What the. Like, what? That's. It's completely. And I. I literally was so caught off guard and immediately was just laughing in my head. I said, hell, I'll take that Coke. Yeah. Like, you know what? Sure.

[B]

Well, I would have been honored. I would have thought I was supposed to be there.

[A]

That's why I was like, I gotta tell him. He would. He's absolutely gonna love.

[B]

That's the strangest thing on earth.

[A]

That's. That's so inappropriate.

[B]

Also very inappropriate. And I'm kind of nervous saying this. I don't.

[A]

Now, this is two different types of inappropriate.

[B]

Yeah. I don't do coitus. Really. I don't have it often because the last time I did. Have you ever. Have you ever stuttered during dirty talk? Like, you ever been trying to get your shit on? And you be like. You're like. You.

[A]

Like.

[B]

You Go.

[A]

What's my name? Stuttering during sex.

[B]

No, you gotta, you gotta get out of there.

[A]

You have to go er and go. Get out of there. If you stutter during sex, you're like, yeah, you're naughty. She's just like, she's like, what? Oh, my Dead end.

[B]

Because I'm not a confident man as it is. Right. I'm not going in there 100%, like, proud of myself. And so when that happens, I'm at 20% at that point.

[A]

I'd literally, I'd go soft probably immediately. I'd immediately just be like, nah, I can't. Like, it's. Game's over, Contest is over. There's. There's no finish line. Yeah, I'm sorry, you've. You stuttered. What did you say?

[B]

Well, I'm not gonna reveal my bag.

[A]

Well, give us a died down version of the bag.

[B]

Like, like, my mom watches.

[A]

So you, you brought it up.

[B]

Yeah, but you're asking for the specific example now. You're getting into your bag. You're getting into that freaky shit.

[A]

No, I'm not. I'm just trying to see what you stuttered.

[B]

I.

[A]

Okay, at least say this.

[B]

I'm saying thank you.

[A]

Was it thanks? She's like, get the off. Okay, I was just trying to see was it more of a you, you were like, like dirty talk. You were hyping it up. You were talking to her.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or you were talking to yourself. Now that didn't come out.

[B]

Good job, Peyton. What? The talking myself. You do it great.

[A]

I'm sitting there, I'm like, damn. Yeah. Oh, you got it. Like, but I'm talking to me.

[B]

You're like. You're like.

[A]

I go, yeah, you like that? She's like, you're not doing anything. I go, you like that? That would be the curveball.

[B]

This Ruby's in the corner.

[A]

She's in there. She's licking my foot again, dude. Yeah, that's wicked. Sex time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Don't ever stutter during sex again.

[B]

No, I, I.

[A]

Okay, now this is not in that weird creep bag that you like to paint me. But what happened right afterwards?

[B]

I said sorry. Oh, sorry. Because I was in the ear read.

[A]

Let me get this, Let me get this straight. You might be inside of this woman.

[B]

It's normally how it happens, and you.

[A]

Stutter, then apologize for stuttering.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you mean to tell me, yeah, there was still sex afterwards?

[B]

Yeah, not much. I mean, the whole thing is a minute and a half regardless.

[A]

Respect, soldier. Respect, soldier. Okay. Okay. This has absolutely nothing to do with that. Yeah, this is gonna seem really weird. I had. Okay, I was talking with. Who was. It doesn't even matter. Yeah, it doesn't matter at all, actually. But I was talking with someone and we were talking about reoccurring nightmares. I know I brought this up. Not the one where I fell in, but I. This wasn't a reoccurring one, but I remembered a nightmare that I had as a kid and it was in my own house. And basically the nightmare was I walk out of my room. My like parents house now. I walk out of my room, I go in the living room and Rowdy Roddy Piper is in the room. He pops out of the corner, runs up the walls, grabs me into like a DDT, runs me up the wall with me, DDT's me on the ground. Then he left and Meemaw. That was the whole dream and it was absolutely terrifying. And I haven't thought about that in years. Wait, Rowdy Roddy piper. My grandma DDT'd me off a wall. That was. I swear to God, that was a nightmare I had.

[B]

Dude, I really want to get some of our dreams interpreted.

[A]

Dude, I would. I would. Wait, now that's. That's that voodoo shit. That's.

[B]

I don't think so. I think it's a psychic. Is it was a voodoo.

[A]

Would you do a psychic?

[B]

No, never.

[A]

I wouldn't either.

[B]

I think the biggest scam.

[A]

Would it cost you to do a psychic?

[B]

Oh, not much. Like, if they're readily available. Like if you brought one here, I would do it.

[A]

But jot that down.

[B]

You know the biggest scam in the world. This might be offensive to some people, and I'm not trying to. Who?

[A]

I said insurance.

[B]

I don't know much about it. I don't have it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, you do.

[B]

No, I do have one more year.

[A]

You're covered for a little bit longer.

[B]

I have one more year. But I think the biggest scam in the world, one of the biggest scam is palm readers. I don't understand how these lines and my little skin cancer mole on the palm is gonna tell me about who I'm gonna marry.

[A]

Wait, let me see yours. You have an extra line. Wait, let me see yours.

[B]

What's wrong with my line?

[A]

I think they said if you can make a M. Yeah, I got. No, you got like. You got like a M. M, M.

[B]

M. I got DNA on mine.

[A]

What the hell?

[B]

And I don't understand. I don't understand fingerprints.

[A]

No. Yeah. That is. Fingerprints are magnificent. Honestly, there's no. There Is no way. No one else out of 8 billion people has that.

[B]

Not a shot. And no, there's definitely reoccurring. There's definitely reoccurring fingerprints. There's. There's.

[A]

Apparently there's not though. Everyone.

[B]

There's. There's not that many line combinations in the world.

[A]

I think there is though.

[B]

And it's just circles. It's not even like I don't have like an obscure line, but it's like.

[A]

The breaking points, they're all different, bro. You got to believe in it. You really need to, though.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

You need to though.

[B]

And I heard you can bite them off. You can bite off your fingerprint.

[A]

I heard you can burn them off. Oh, maybe that criminals do after they commit crime. They remove their molars and they burn their fingertips to where their molars. Dental records. Oh, they remove their. And then they. Because these are here. It's like a. There's. It's just a tooth. That may be you, but. Yeah, that's him. Like they're like this talking to me.

[B]

No, they took my mullers out. They'd think it's like a Civil War vet. This is an old dude, like put.

[A]

It in shooting dice with it. Shooting dice.

[B]

What happened with it?

[A]

Oh my God. I just reminded myself. Okay, can I go into a story time?

[B]

Tell me.

[A]

Dude, we went to the dmv and I know we've talked about the dmv. I know the world knows the dmv. It's a freaky. It's a freaky place.

[B]

It's a nasty place.

[A]

This is first off the dmv. We went to the biggest DMV I've ever seen before just to see if I'm tweaking your local dmv. You and two growing up, how many people, if you walk in there, were.

[B]

There probably like a 50, 75.

[A]

Okay, then. This isn't the biggest one I've ever seen. The one I went to growing up, there was like 20 people in there.

[B]

Oh, you didn't grow up in the best places.

[A]

Like 20 to 20 to 40 people in the DV. Yeah, I walk in here, there's 200 people minimum. It was absolutely massive.

[B]

That's hell.

[A]

And I think, I don't know, maybe it was just cuz New Year. Like of course Liv gets her freaking appointment like freshly into a new year when all these other people, all these kids probably just turned whatever age, all sorts of shit. So we go in there and first off, I walk in. I told Liv, hey, I'm Drop you off and I'll go park because we were late. So she runs, in goes her appointment. I'm walking in with my Celsius and this woman puts her hand on my chest instead of speaking.

[B]

Yeah, Never touch.

[A]

Hey, I have ears, you have mouth. Let's use those.

[B]

I'm not Beethoven.

[A]

She goes, no drinks behind here. And I said, what the. I was like, who are you? And she was literally like 4 foot 11 with her, like, security vesting had like a. It looked like a TSA patch. It was a DMV patch. She goes, no drinks pass this point. And I was like, okay, do you need a cough drop? Your throat's very sore and you should probably drink some water, but okay. So I stepped back and in this step back period, I had the honor to just be in the front waiting. Part of this DMV to where every single person coming in. All these just cretins. Yeah, they're walking right past me. All right, so I'm about to list the different people that I saw in this dmv.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. First one, not being insensitive at all. There's no problem with it. I'm just saying, statistically, the odds. Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

200 people in this DMV. Three little people. Now, I don't know if that's the right term. And I'm not cracking a joke. I'm just saying what I saw. Second thing I saw, I look over at a line, right? Like there's. For whatever reason, there's a big waiting room and there's a line of people standing in that line. There's a seven year old girl that had a briefcase that was by herself. Now, I said, how. How do you know what you're doing? You are so small, you are so young. How are you in a dmv? What are you getting? Are you getting an ID card? Are you getting a license? Where's your parents? And she was. She was tapping her foot like she had places to be. She was like this. She was that far off the ground. I'm like, okay. Third thing, a family walked in and not only did they smell of marijuana.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

It smelled like they had marijuana in their hands and they were going like this. It was. It was a. It was. It was as loud as a rock band. It was so. I mean, they. They just smoked.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The clothes they wore, they smoked in yester. They smoked in the car, on the way home, on the way here. And then they had smoke in their pockets. It was weed. They were weak.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Last thing, we're walking in and this big. Okay. I love all of our fans.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

This. This guy that's working there, he kind of. He comes up to us. He gives me knuckles. Right? Love.

[B]

Good nug.

[A]

And I'm just waiting. This is still. When I'm. I can't even get in yet to sit with Liv. Gives me knuckles, and I'm like, what's up, man? He's like, oh, just. Y'all have the funniest shit ever, man. I just. I just really wanted to say I love your videos. Do you need anything? Like, can I do anything? He starts doing that. He goes, can I do anything to help you out? Can I do something for you? And I go, I mean, do I ask him, like, can we get in there earlier, dude? I was like, no, I'm just gonna be regular guy. I was like, no, we're just waiting on our appointment. He's like, if you want to, like, maybe skip a line or something, just let me know. And I go, all right. At this point, I'm not fully convinced he works here, because he's like, the shirt looks like it, but he has a big jacket that's kind of hiding the shirt.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think he's getting that from me. Like, he's sensing that I'm like, is this guy even real?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So he goes, all right, bro. I'm about to get back to it, and if you don't need anything, I'll just be right here. Just holler if you need me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I go, all right, bro. Nice to meet you. He takes two steps away. Remember I said there's 200 people in here?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Takes two steps away from me, goes like this. All right, bro. Appreciate it. Nice meeting you. Return on the clipboards to the front of the DME and screams as loud as you possibly have to for 200 people to hear. And I was like. I literally was like, all right, bro. You, too, retard. What the. He screams the loudest scream. Everyone was like, everyone's head is like, what the. And then every, like, 40 people stand up with clipboards, and they all go to tournament. I'm like, I'm not talking to you ever again. That's a dmv. That's your average DMV experience, bro.

[B]

The DMV sucks. It's like the Twilight Zone. Never anything good that happens in there.

[A]

Never. Never, bro.

[B]

Okay, so you said you don't like you.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Whenever we're places, a good amount of times, we do get offered a special privilege like that. Like you said.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The workers will Recognize us and like, hey, we'll help you out.

[A]

You said you didn't take it for this instance. Wasn't sure if the guy would really work there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Didn't know if he was employed by the state.

[B]

I'm not going to lie. I take that privilege. If you offer me some, I'm gonna take it. But the worst is when it doesn't work like the guy. You know what I mean?

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Like, the guy will say, hey, come on, I'll hook you up over here. He brings you to the hookup spot, and then his superior comes and starts questioning both of you. And I'm like, yeah, I'm just here because he told me. And they say, I don't care who this person is. And now you got to take the walk of shame.

[A]

Bad walk of shame. Walk of shame, Ego takes a hit. Yeah, that guy's gonna get fired and we don't get special. Special promise.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's a quadruple loot loss.

[B]

Dude. I have a wild story.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Go through. So this is filmed, like, right after New Year's, right?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So for New Year's, me and cj, we went out, right? Happy New Year's, the whole thing, right. We're at Kiss cj, Kiss someone. We might save that for the extended.

[A]

Definitely saving that for these.

[B]

No, we can't. We can't. We genuinely can't.

[A]

Y'all are tripping.

[B]

So you know the place we go to?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That's not the. The main club part, but that little. That bar, the Pre. The Pre spot. It's like a nice sports bar, right?

[A]

Very big.

[B]

The. The way that this bar's restaurant or restroom, the way this bars restroom is laid out is so strange. You walk in and the mirrors have gaps in them.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So you can see the women's side of the mirrors, right? You can see them washing their hands. They can see you washing their hands. There's a lot of commotion this night. People are reaching across, dapping women up. And I said, neither of y'all wash, right? So I'm walking past that. I'm hearing the girls from the other side recognizing me. Full bladder. I gotta go tankle. I've been drinking a little bit, right?

[A]

Yeah. Gotta drain that old sea monster. Gotta drain that old Kraken. Bring that Loch Ness back to the surface.

[B]

So I'm going to go pee where I'm using the urinals. But the urinal situation in this bar is even worse. The urinals are about 4 inches away from each other.

[A]

There's no wall, no walls, no curtain, nothing.

[B]

You're damn near bumping hips while you're trying to relieve yourself in the urinal. I'm peeing. I have no problem peeing next to somebody. I'm just going to turn a little bit, right?

[A]

Yep. Get that little defense.

[B]

So when I'm peeing, I'm peeing, right? There's no. I'm. I'm peeing, right.

[A]

Whipping that beluga out.

[B]

I'm peeing. There's nobody in the urinal next to me, so I'm kind of opened up, right? I'm opened up. But as I'm like, a third of the way through this piss, and it's a drunk piss, so, you know, it's taking a little longer than normal.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Forehead. Did your forehead hit the wall?

[B]

No, I wasn't there yet.

[A]

There yet.

[B]

I was sturdy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But the guy that filled that urinal up next to me, he was drunk. He came in, stumbling into the restroom, right? He immediately slaps his hand on the wall, and he's unbuckling wide, like he's hitting me with his elbow. Unbuckling, right? He takes a quick pee, right?

[A]

He's like.

[B]

It's like a little scored of a Windex.

[A]

Comes back on. He's like.

[B]

And so men, as we know, when we're done dribbling, we give a couple shakes. You wring that thing out right? Now, like I said, this guy was obliterated drunk.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

I can only see him through my peripheral at this point. He's at Shake McGee. It's time for him to shake yes or no. Did a little bit of the shake.

[A]

Oh, no. Oh, hell no.

[B]

Get on me.

[A]

Hell no.

[B]

It was close. It was cold outside, so it was closed. I'm wearing blue jeans. The right side of the knee part, there's a splatter on it right? Now, let's be honest. I don't like to fight, Right. My rule is if I have cologne on, I'm not fighting, right? I don't do it. Second, my johnson's still out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now, am I supposed to go into combat with this guy and, like, start jousting him? You go. I did get angry, though. I got angry. So I was gonna say something to him. I look, I'm six, seven cam. This guy, as soon as I turn, my eyes are at his nipples. I look up, it's like Shaquille O'Neal is next to me. No wonder that thing had a lot of recoil on the shake. I literally had to just take his Piss and walk out of the restroom. There's literally nothing I can say to this big man. He would kill me.

[A]

You go, hey, bro, watch your. He just grabs you by the neck.

[B]

I'm still out. You're still out.

[A]

He's still out. He's like, it's what's his name from Green Mile. He starts going. The bugs fly out of his mouth.

[B]

You. And you have to imagine the shame I have. He knows he dribbled on me. I'm washing my hands and he still picks his sink next to me. And I'm just having the. Yeah, so you're kidding me. Not why.

[A]

Okay, genuinely, if you had to guess, how tall was he?

[B]

Like, he's at least like 6:10, 6:11. He was a big dude and like 610, like 285. Oh, the guy was wide.

[A]

My thing is, what did he drink to be that drunk? He's like, give me the keg. He's like, give me the whole thing. He just like, he's like holding it.

[B]

But there's literally nothing I could have done in that situation.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Because two of my rules. Don't. Don't fight when you're pee pees out.

[A]

Pee pee was out. Clone was on. And if you would have went for combat, he would have choke slammed you on the.

[B]

With my pee pee out.

[A]

With your johnson out. You'd have been choke slammed on a bathroom floor with your johnson out. More than likely johnson loses. But blood flow, blood goes to head to protect self. So you would now have a small flaccid penis on a bathroom floor while you might be knocked out. And that would be death. You'd have to or move.

[B]

Now I'm gonna be a little vulnerable here. I'll be a little vulnerable here.

[A]

Oh, I'll give you pure vulnerable.

[B]

A lot of men say like they don't like peeing when they got blood flow. It's hard for them.

[A]

Now my first thing would be, why do you have a pocket rocket when you're going to pee off the wake up. Oh, yeah, that's fine. Yeah.

[B]

But some people like it's hard. And then there's like a bunch of memes where people like laying flat on the toilet until it can aim in there. Is that a real thing? Because I've never had an issue. It actually gives me more stability. It's like an aim lock on it.

[A]

You go. It's like, I really have like an ACOG scope. So you. So you're saying you. So you don't have a problem with a Morning wood. But you don't have. You don't have problem with pissing is what you're saying.

[B]

No, I'm saying I don't have problem pissing with a little blood flow with. With while I'm starting.

[A]

I oftentimes coordinate my shits with waking up, so I typically. I typically sit down when I. When I relieve myself.

[B]

Oh, so you're sitting down with the projectile? No, Sometimes.

[A]

No. It's definitely touching.

[B]

Yeah, no, no, I don't want to touch that. I don't want to touch.

[A]

But then I get a nice rag, and I'm sitting there cleaning them off. I get the. Dude wipe. I'm nasty.

[B]

That is. That is absolutely.

[A]

No, but pissing with. I. I standing up to go for. To give you some scientific research. Standing up pissing is. It's not been a problem for me. I kind of have to, like, dip it to the right a little bit.

[B]

If you got a hook in it.

[A]

Not.

[B]

Not.

[A]

No, not. I'm. I'm. I'm straight as an arrow, pretty much. No hook in my game. Never been fishing. I got a. I just got the rod. I don't have the bait. I don't got that hook part.

[B]

Have a bob on it.

[A]

They go, you want to go fishing? I'm like, I'll bring the pole and you got to bring the hooks because I'm just there. I am. I am right there. You could balance on it.

[B]

I just don't understand. I don't understand the difficulty of it.

[A]

Yeah, I don't. I mean, it's like, are you. Are they. It's like that. Like, mine's just. So we're good. We're in the same boat. But you do have a little.

[B]

How do you know?

[A]

A little shoehorn.

[B]

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[A]

You should know podcast I think it's time that we play a game.

[B]

God damn it. Okay.

[A]

What?

[B]

It's not. I don't know. It's not a prank, right?

[A]

No, it's not a prank this time.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Our friends are not involved on it. It's. It's not like that.

[B]

Yeah, it's a regular game. I love games. Okay, let's do it.

[A]

So this is simply. It's just a little quick one. I think it's gonna be some be cutesy. Okay.

[B]

I love cute.

[A]

So one of us is gonna closer. It's called. You make the face, I make the sound. Okay, that's. Now that just sounds like a sentence, right? This is sound like much fun. You make the face, I make the sound. Okay, so how this is gonna go is you're gonna close your eyes.

[B]

All right? You know, I don't like. But I'm not.

[A]

I'm not striking you. You're gonna close your eyes.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

So practice round. Close them. And then I'll go three, two. And then after one, you open and I'm gonna have a face, and I'll be doing something and you make the sound that coordinates with the face.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, I gotta go through a Rolodex of sounds here.

[A]

Yeah. And. But that the eyes closed is the speed because you're trying to get that sound off quick. Because if I just go, what does this sound like? And then you could sit there and think about it.

[B]

It's gonna be more natural. Noise is like very confused.

[A]

That's fine. It's gonna be more funn if you immediately you're like, three, two. You look, you see it. You got to make a noise.

[B]

Well, that's you making the face. I make the noise.

[A]

Whatever, dude. Okay, but we're going to switch. We're both doing. Oh.

[B]

Oh, perfect. Yeah. Oh, I like that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That was a lot of pressure on me at first.

[A]

No. Yeah, we're both doing it.

[B]

Thank God.

[A]

Okay, go first.

[B]

Okay, I'll. I'll do it. How we said it. I'll close my eyes first.

[A]

I'll make the face first.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So right after he finishes one, you open your eyes, you immediately make the sound that I'm. That you.

[B]

Okay. This is going to be my genuine first reaction when I see your face. Like, it might not even pertain to your face, but when I see it.

[A]

Okay, that's fine.

[B]

That's how I'm gonna feel. Three, two, one. Oh.

[A]

Make the. Make the noise. You have to make a noise. You're not doing it. I just did that face for 20 seconds for nothing. Dog, what are you doing?

[B]

It's more of a word I could think of. It was like, gross.

[A]

Gross. Do you understand the game?

[B]

I understand, but I'm sorry.

[A]

Okay, my turn. Go. Here we go. Give me a face.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Oi. I think that's what you're doing. You said oi. Oy.

[B]

Well, let me keep doing the faces.

[A]

Okay, Go.

[B]

Three, two, one.

[A]

See? Okay, you need to redeem yourself.

[B]

I can think of words I can't think of. Like, you got to think of noises.

[A]

You got to have a sound.

[B]

I don't have that many noises in my roller dance.

[A]

You do one more.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm giving you examples, and you're going to redeem yourself.

[B]

All right?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. You got a sneak peek of my face.

[A]

No, I didn't.

[B]

Okay. Three, two, one. You can't follow that up.

[A]

Yes, you can.

[B]

Come. I'm going to do a word.

[A]

You got it?

[B]

No, I would do changing the game.

[A]

You're not good at it. You got to grind. Here we go.

[B]

All right. Three, two, one. Oh, I didn't close my eyes. I'm sorry if I have a f. Hold on, hold on. I'm starting to sweat.

[A]

All right, you ready? Stop cheating.

[B]

You're right.

[A]

Stop cheating.

[B]

All right. Three, two, one. Boing.

[A]

Boing. Try again. That was close. That was good. That was good. Like a. Yeah. Okay, do another one.

[B]

I'm the face.

[A]

No, I'm the face. You're doing another one.

[B]

Three, two, one. Eep. Eee.

[A]

Eep. This is clear. Like a. You gotta get those. I'm good.

[B]

You're scaring me.

[A]

This. Sorry. Okay, you go. I want to try the noise.

[B]

Okay. All right. I gotta take a faces. Okay. All right. Two, one.

[A]

It was the cross that did it.

[B]

Okay, one more for me. You do the noise. Okay.

[A]

Three, two, one.

[B]

One more.

[A]

You do one more for me.

[B]

Okay, I'm. I'm genuinely having a panic attack. Dog. If you felt my heart.

[A]

Okay, I got to think of the.

[B]

Best this one yet. Oh, my eyes are closed. Okay, okay.

[A]

Okay. Okay. All right, I'm ready.

[B]

All right. Three, two, one.

[A]

Go.

[B]

Get it. It's like a bobblehead, dude. You are rough to look at.

[A]

I'm a little too good at this guy. Wait, do that. I'm hearing something crack, bro. I just heard something crack, like, three times, dude. Oh.

[B]

Oh, dude. Sometimes you scare me, dude. Oh, that was good, though, dude.

[A]

That was good. I appreciate that. Yeah, that's like a bonding. It was like a love.

[B]

Dude, I got a cramp in, like, my shoulder. Shoulder.

[A]

I think I tore something in my neck.

[B]

Okay, seriously, give me a question. Let's bring it back to reality here.

[A]

Let's bring it back.

[B]

Bring it back to reality. I. I was thinking this the other day. I was on FaceTime with our friends in New York. Right. Some friends we have in New York. I was on FaceTime with them, and I was so astounded by the fact that it was so bright here in Texas and it was so dark there in New York. Now, I get that. That time zones are a thing. Thing. I get it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

But what's the science behind a time zone?

[A]

Sun. It is the sun relative to these zones on the Earth. So imagine sun's here, Earth's here.

[B]

Right. Good morning.

[A]

There's zones, and they're like little rectangles, and they go straight down. They're not like. It's not east to west. I mean, the. When you change, it's from going east to west. But, like, say something here in Russia is up here. And, like, all the way down here in India. Even though they're super far.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If they're vertically aligned in that same rectangle, they're in the same time. Because it's east to west. Because when we rotate. When we wrote in less words.

[B]

Dude, I don't know what you're saying.

[A]

Okay. East to west. Your time zones change because. Right. World is rotating. Yes, it is.

[B]

It's not the same time in Canada right now that it is in Texas.

[A]

Directly above us. Yes.

[B]

No, it's not.

[A]

Bet money on it.

[B]

Bet money. What's directly above us in Canada?

[A]

We'd have to figure it out.

[B]

Figure it out.

[A]

Toronto. You're thinking Toronto.

[B]

And it's above us.

[A]

That's above us in way far east because that's above New York. Directly above us is going to be the same time zone. Why are we in the same time zone? Oklahoma's in the same time zone. Colorado's in the same time zone. Colorado's the left Colorado's a little to the left. I think they're off.

[B]

So that's what I'm saying.

[A]

But they're to the left. Straight up. Whatever's straight above us at the very top of our country. Was that North Dakota or something?

[B]

Yeah, it's North Dakota, South Dakota. Those are adjacent.

[A]

Yeah, Those are in the same time zone as us. They're central.

[B]

But why?

[A]

If you'd let me. So when we turn like this. We're not turning like this, we turn like this.

[B]

So they say.

[A]

So the sun's here. So we're turning.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, so it's east to west. It's. You're slowly getting further away from the sun. That's why it's different.

[B]

No, I guess that's how time moves.

[A]

What are you not picking?

[B]

I'm not understanding. Like, how did we set that?

[A]

Oh, who made it? Yeah.

[B]

That's all you're saying.

[A]

Con artist. I don't know.

[B]

I don't know who I'm saying. Like, so when did we all start the clock? At the same time. Like, I understand. Like in times always been strange to me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That we're. We're like, we're starting 12 right now. Everybody go. And we all press the button at the same time.

[A]

Go.

[B]

And I. That's what I don't understand. How is all time starting at the same time, but it all is at a different time? You know what I mean? We didn't all just start at one level time.

[A]

I don't know when that started. Wouldn't that be. Wouldn't that be a hell of a day to be at. We had a time machine to go back when they had the inaugural time launch.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When they were just like, now is time they started. They were like, go spread it. Like, go take time everywhere. They're just like, dude, it's. It's 2:30. Like, that's. Honestly, dude, you ask. I swear to God.

[B]

It's good questions.

[A]

You need to lay off the weed.

[B]

No. Have it in a long time. You ask questions that are good questions.

[A]

It's good questions.

[B]

It's genuinely like, how. How have we all started time at the same exact time with our started. We're like, okay, we're gonna start our at midnight, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

12 is our starting time. They're gonna start their at 3pm with.

[A]

Someone on the other side of the world. Just like, oh, this looks like 9:00 in the morning.

[B]

Exactly. And it doesn't run with it and it doesn't make sense. And how is the sun involved If Alaska never has nighttime.

[A]

Yeah, there's sometimes it never does. And isn't that some.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wait, is it Alaska or is it.

[B]

It's Alaska. It's Alaska. It's like they're. They. They're. It's always sunny.

[A]

I saw that, bro. That I don't believe. I don't know. I don't. There's a lot of going on in the snow. They don't tell us. There's a lot of secret in the snow.

[B]

The snow is a place for the.

[A]

Secret, secretive, snowy going on. I swear to. I swear to you, bro.

[B]

And you bringing up, like, the past and how they started stuff. I don't think I would have lasted that long in the Salem witch trials. Do you think they would have got me out of the equipment?

[A]

Yes, I think you would have been gone.

[B]

What are some characters like?

[A]

Oh, he doesn't smell normal. Like, he uses potions. Get him. Like, you would be gone.

[B]

Okay, what about me? Would they have, like, got me out for immediately height?

[A]

He's ginormous. Get him out.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Smell gone.

[B]

No, they all probably smelled back then.

[A]

But you, brother, you smell now. So your smell back then would be incredible. It would be. It would honestly be fascinating. Okay.

[B]

You'd probably be able to be like.

[A]

It's like, peel some skin off. You're like, okay, smell. Height.

[B]

Okay. Not that.

[A]

Okay, yeah, not that one, but maybe. And then your mouthpiece. Not your actual teeth and cavities, but, like, the way you can speak.

[B]

They wouldn't have.

[A]

They'd say, he's too good.

[B]

I'm too much of a poet.

[A]

Too much of a poet. They'd be like, he. He's. He reads. Reads. He reads scripture. Yeah, he studies that.

[B]

They would have. They would have got you out of there because they're like, he's growing life in his ears. Like, there's so much in there. How is all that falling out of them?

[A]

They're like, I run off. Who would be the better witch? 100? Me.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

100.

[B]

What makes a good witch?

[A]

You got to be able to curse people. You got to be able to read the dark arts. You got to be able to have a cauldron and make spells and potions.

[B]

You're too passive to be a good witch. No, you're not vindictive enough.

[A]

The best witches are passive.

[B]

No, I'd be like a siren.

[A]

No, exactly.

[B]

You'd be.

[A]

You'd be trying to get in the streets and with the shits. People would quickly realize you and they'd burn you at the stake, I'd be ducked off in some basement making the world's dangerous potion.

[B]

Dude. Yeah.

[A]

I'd come out one day for bread. Oh, I'm just a poor little lady. The whole city up in flames.

[B]

Yeah. Do you think this. Was that real or is that myth, the Salem trials?

[A]

No, there's still books. They're still. There's still paper and books from today. It was like, like the real, like now the validity. That's what you're asking. I don't know if people were literally witches, but, bro, I do, I do believe that. I do believe in Christ, which means I do believe in Satan. I don't know.

[B]

No, I'm just saying, not, not that part, but the part where they're like, oh, this lady's. She can't cook. She's a witch.

[A]

Let's kill her. Yeah, that's real.

[B]

That happened.

[A]

No, that happened.

[B]

That's tough.

[A]

And that's set. Is it? Have you ever thought about that back in the day, bro? I was thinking about this the other day. Fighting is absolutely essential.

[B]

Absolutely essential in today's time.

[A]

Hell no. Back in day. Oh, that's the only way you could survive today. If I, if we walked it. No, I'm talking about for life, though. Not for army, not for soldier. If you are a regular ass guy, regular ass woman. Because someone could literally be like, he's a witch, get him. And everyone be like, let's murder him. There's no. No, there's no cctv. There's no I find my iPhone. There's like today's world in legal systems. Evidence, evidence, Evidence, yes. Is that person where they said they were. And then court, they protect you and then they give their thing back. Then they'd be like, he just stole my mom's horse. And everyone's like, you horse. These horse things. Like, what the thing.

[B]

I mean, fighting would have helped more. But I think if the whole town is against you, like, you can fight off a couple, but they're going to get you.

[A]

You got to be able to get out of here though, though.

[B]

He scared me.

[A]

They were all looking at her. Oh, you have to be able to, like. Because, bro, if one person, imagine one person just roughed you up, right? Stiff jab, here's. Oh, Then they get you on the ground. They wait for the, the local police, whatever that time. Yeah, they come and grab you. You're behind bars for something you never did. Just cuz someone planted like.

[B]

Yeah, but what is fighting going to do to do that, to stop?

[A]

Because if you can fight and get your way out of that. One on one, you can flee the city.

[B]

Who are you?

[A]

You can get on a horse and go to the next.

[B]

Who are you?

[A]

What do you mean, who are you? I am Legolas. But for real, bro. Like I was thinking about that the other day. I have. I have Strange. And I was by myself too.

[B]

Do you need to spend more time around people?

[A]

By myself?

[B]

Yeah. It's strange. You should know. Podcast this episode is brought to you by Select Quote. There are so many things in life we just never get around to. Taking up that hobby, cleaning out the garage. You know, little things that don't really make huge differences in our life yet. There's one thing that most of us have probably been neglecting that can have a huge impact on our family's future. That's life insurance. And with Select Quote, getting covered with the right policy for you is easier and more affordable than you may think. Select Quote is one of America's leading insurance brokers with nearly 40 years of experience helping over 2 million customers find over $700 billion in coverage since 1985. If you have high blood pressure, no problem. If you have diabetes, that's fine too. Even if you have heart disease, Select Quote partners with carriers that can cover those conditions and others. Or if you don't have any major health issues, they work with carriers that can get you same day coverage with no medical exam required. Select Quote. They shop and you save. Get the right life insurance for you for less at select quote'.com ysk go to selectquote.com ysk today to get started. That's selectquote.com y-k now on to the rest of this episode, the you should know podcast. We got mama living, Auntie Ashley on the podcast.

[A]

Hey, that's crazy. You see how. You see how they get an applause?

[B]

Yeah. I'm not gonna lie.

[A]

They got clean.

[C]

Deserve. We deserve it. We deserve it. We deserve it. It's our day. Our day.

[A]

It's. It's Yalls day.

[B]

It's. Whose birthday is.

[A]

That's rich.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, okay, it's been a while since we had both of them on.

[A]

It has.

[B]

Or a singular one of them.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Their suspension is up.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Can we be honest about the reason why they haven't been on?

[A]

Yeah, go ahead, tell.

[B]

Their suspension. They've been on suspension. They've been on hiatus. We have.

[C]

The fans have been questioning me.

[B]

No, they've been questioning me too. They've been like. There's literally been like Questions in the comments. Like, DMS being like. Like, is. Are y'all and Auntie Ashton still friends? Like, is it.

[C]

Ask me if we're beefy.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I'm not gonna lie. We should have milked.

[A]

Yeah, we should have milked it more, but no.

[B]

Yeah, how. How has it been being away from us? How's everything been? Give them an update. We know what's been going on. We haven't been away in real life.

[A]

Ash, let's put the. Let's put the spotlight on you.

[C]

Okay, quick summary. Life is. I'm figuring out this new life of mine on my own, doing my own thing, figuring out what Ashton likes, what she doesn't like, and working a lot, saving a lot of money because I'm trying to move out, get a home.

[A]

There you go.

[C]

That's my goal.

[B]

Nice. So, okay, but we have to clear up that we have been hanging out on camera.

[C]

Yeah. Went to the baby shower, baby gender reveal. We've gone to dinner.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, we've gone out.

[B]

Yeah. We just haven't recorded in a long time because she's working 25A.

[C]

Yeah, I blame that one for not.

[B]

Yeah, I don't.

[A]

I get.

[B]

I get a lot of blame for this.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

I don't believe that either, because he'll.

[C]

Be like, you don't come to the studio. You didn't tell me. If you don't tell me, I can't come.

[B]

Well, that's not how the text initially starts. It's not me saying, you didn't come to the studio. It's like, yeah. Oh, you. You'll DM me and be like, oh, damn, nice invite. And I'll be like, I just assume you're working all the time.

[C]

Yeah, my location.

[B]

That's a. Well, it's not really.

[D]

I always check.

[B]

I'm like, I'm not.

[A]

Just like, we're trying to get dressed Tuesday.

[B]

Where's. Actually. But I'm glad you're here.

[C]

Yeah, me too.

[A]

I know. It's. It's always glad y'all like me. Yeah, we love you. We love you.

[B]

How are we all feeling about. Since y'all are having a baby, coming up here in a couple.

[A]

Don't jump at me. Don't joust at me.

[B]

You're having a baby in a couple weeks, and we're gonna be aunties and aunties.

[C]

Man, I. I need my own Auntie Day. Peyton cannot be.

[B]

Oh, please have your own.

[C]

No, it's not like Auntie and Uncle Day. It's Ashlyn. Oh, Something he could Drive.

[A]

He's a chauffeur.

[C]

Drop us off wherever we're gonna go.

[B]

Can we be honest real quick?

[A]

Let's hear it.

[B]

Who's Malachi gonna like more?

[D]

Auntie Ash. You don't know that.

[C]

Who's wiping his ass?

[B]

Well, it doesn't. He's not gonna be like, damn, thanks. He's gonna be like, my ass.

[A]

When these arms fully develop. I got you, big dog.

[B]

No, he's definitely gonna be like, that was cool.

[A]

That was cool. That was nice.

[B]

He's. He's gonna be like, where's Uncle P? Because I'm gonna put him in costumes every time I'm around him and he.

[A]

Gives me beef jerky and we watch.

[B]

Explicit things on tv like Buzz Lightyear.

[C]

So he's gonna go to school in his Buzz Lightyear costume.

[B]

Not. Probably not school, but we're gonna be staying with me on weekends. Or like, he's staying with me for a night on the weekends when they're doing adult things. Probably a little sexy time in a bathtub.

[A]

Look, are you gonna change? I can't fit in our bathtub.

[B]

Am I gonna change his diaper?

[C]

If you're taking care of him at night, who's changing?

[A]

Oh, oh, oh.

[B]

Let's be very clear here. I'm not taking care of him when I need to change his diaper.

[D]

So you're not gonna.

[A]

So you're not gonna see him for.

[C]

So that. That just means he's going to love me the most.

[A]

No.

[B]

No.

[C]

To see me.

[B]

Burying yourself. No, I'm not. Yeah, you are.

[A]

You are burying yourself.

[B]

No.

[C]

So you don't really love him. You don't.

[B]

No.

[A]

No.

[B]

I'll hang out with him.

[C]

You don't.

[B]

One of y'all are gonna be there until he's out of diapers when we.

[D]

Go off to do our. See, you can't do that. You can't have that. You can't half ass babysit.

[B]

Y'all are listening. Y'all aren't. Y'all aren't. Y'all are understanding what I'm saying. I'm saying I'll get my full babysitting on when he can go use the banyo.

[D]

That's what I'm saying. It'll be like when he's five.

[C]

So he's gonna already be accustomed to me and love Auntie Ash more than Uncle P because Uncle P wasn't around.

[B]

Yeah, but Uncle P's bringing him toy Lamborghinis every time he sees him. That's why he's gonna like me.

[A]

Pay Per views. He gets to watch WWE, WrestleMania, wet wipes and a fruity dog.

[C]

Okay, don't talk about jacks like that. Jax is not fruity. It's my son.

[B]

Nothing wrong with it. He just.

[A]

What's dog's a little different.

[C]

He likes everybody. He doesn't discriminate.

[B]

Yeah, God bless him. But I, I have a whole plan. Whenever Malachi is here, like whenever he can stand, his knees are here. Every time.

[A]

Yeah. Peyton doesn't know a clue about like human beings.

[C]

Kid in the car seat and it's gonna poop up its back. And he's not calling y'all. He's gonna leave it in the car.

[A]

You said. Something didn't sit too right with me though. You said our kid's not gonna be potty turned until he's five.

[B]

Yeah, that's a long time.

[D]

I'm saying like, like for him, Jackson's.

[A]

Essentially potty trained now. He's three.

[D]

Okay. He still wears pull ups at nine. You still have to kind of remind me to go to the bathroom.

[A]

He has deep dreams.

[C]

No, but boys pee on themselves till they're like 12.

[B]

I pee on myself at 25.

[C]

We know.

[D]

I'm saying he's saying that with Peyton at that age where he's still trying to figure out the toilet thing. Payton's not gonna, He's. Payne's gonna put him down and go to bed and be like, oh, did I tell Malachi's go to the bathroom. Then he's gonna have an accent in the middle of the night and then.

[A]

You'Re gonna have to wake up.

[D]

Didn't put a pool.

[B]

You know what I'm gonna do. Hey, Ms. Lisa. Get your grandbaby everywhere, dog.

[A]

His diaper's filled with piss. And I'm not doing that.

[B]

He on my duvet.

[A]

However, I did buy him Dunkin Donuts. I bought a Dunkin Donuts in a new Nerf gun. So he's kind of distracted now, but it's starting to really smell.

[D]

This is a thing that we've already talked about.

[B]

Oh, no, I get rules.

[D]

Yes, there is rules. I, I, I am that parent. Cameron's like, whatever, Whatever toys you buy him, they stay at that house.

[A]

That's not true. That is not fully true. That's not fully.

[B]

No, listen, stop, stop, stop, stop.

[D]

That shit ain't coming back to my house.

[C]

That's kind of, that's kind of.

[A]

Listen, toys for birthday, for Christmas, stuff like that. Like a, like a genuine, A good. I'm not saying the price matters. That's not what I'm saying at all, but toys like that, that obviously you're gifting it to him, they can stay at our house for him. She's saying if you go to Target and you're like, here's $3. Pick a little tray, like little day to day toys. She's saying, keep those at y'all.

[C]

So you do that. Go to the store, be like, oh, yeah, pick out what you want. Let me get it. Go home.

[D]

Bye.

[B]

No, it's like, when he leaves, next.

[A]

Time he comes back to Auntie Ash, you don't have to buy him another one.

[B]

I had to do that, too, whenever I was staying at other people's houses.

[D]

So we don't like, like, clutter up so many toys. Because honestly, I don't want all that. He's gonna look at it and be like, oh, fun. Because I seen that with my own niece's eyes. I bought Ivy this nice ass lover to death. She's a kid. She's placed for, for a little bit, then lets it go. Bought her a nice little head. Little. What do you do? The doll heads?

[A]

Yeah, the hairstyle.

[D]

She literally stopped playing with that, like, two hours later.

[B]

Dude, that's gonna suck.

[A]

Ivy was opening her stocking and she said, said, well, that's not what I asked for. Can we go to presents?

[B]

I was like, oh, my God, dude, that's gonna suck. Because I'm. I don't know what it is with me in small things having costumes on or, like, clothes.

[D]

That's fine.

[B]

Like, I love Ruby. Like, I always.

[A]

So honestly, I love that.

[D]

That he will have, like, like, yeah, so many costumes.

[A]

I was talking about costumes.

[B]

No, our costumes.

[C]

Like cosplay.

[A]

No, he's buying him, like, Mike Wazowski suit.

[B]

Okay. Because, like, Ruby hang those up and.

[D]

His playroom, and he can go and, like, put them on and, like, act like he's Buzz Lightyear.

[C]

Are you going to let him go to school?

[A]

No.

[D]

Hell no.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

What I tell. What I tell Cam, like, every time we leave the studio, I'm like, hey, can you send me a picture of Ruby? And then he'll go, yeah, bro, I got you. And I'm like, can you put her in clothes? Like, I don't know what it is.

[A]

You got a weird thing.

[B]

And so I have an idea. When Malachi is here. Well, he's here now, but whenever he can, when he can stand, dude, every time y'all come pick him up, we're going to be in matching costumes.

[A]

That's lit.

[B]

It's gonna be Sick.

[A]

That's lit. We'll take pictures, too.

[D]

And I caught, like, just like, clothes.

[B]

No, like Buzz Lightyear. One day we're gonna be dinosaurs. The next day, like, we're gonna be scream. It's gonna be sick.

[A]

He's just like, yes, bro. That's pretty cute.

[B]

That's gonna be sick. That's my dog.

[D]

That's pretty cool costume thing.

[B]

That's the problem now I don't have that much closet space.

[A]

Your closet could be rented out on Turbo. That's a car. That's for car.

[C]

You have in your closet, you have four pairs of clothes.

[D]

We already told you he had to have a room, Peyton.

[B]

For. For him. Yeah, bro. Sleeping on the couch.

[D]

Nope.

[B]

He's. He's bumming my couch.

[A]

Yeah, he's bumming the couch. He's a couch bummer.

[B]

I'll be like, hey, Malachi, here's a sheet.

[A]

Or he'll sleep in the trash corner in the office. He'll use garbage bags as his. As his match.

[B]

And I'll be moved by then I'll be in the other place that is.

[A]

Oh, yeah. He'll sleep in the secret, secret layer.

[B]

I go to the dungeon.

[A]

Hey, go to that bookshelf and pull the ninth book and just go in there.

[B]

Dude, I can't wait. What can I feed him?

[A]

There's gonna be certain things. Yeah. For the first milk. Yeah.

[B]

I am not holding your milk in my hand. I'll hold her.

[A]

I'll just hold it.

[C]

So live about this. There's this thing on Amazon. You can get it, and it's like a fake boob for the guys. And you can fill it up with the milk. So it's like you can have that bonding.

[B]

That's sick. Fake.

[A]

That's.

[B]

No, I'll get that. I'll be like.

[A]

And let my son suck milk from your fake. While he's giving you an eye to eye.

[B]

Well, I would literally be like this. I would literally be like this. I'd be like, hey, bro, close your eyes.

[A]

Close your eyes.

[D]

When the baby, like, when it's like, hungry. Like, I. I saw it with Murphy. Like, she literally was like. I was holding her and she was.

[B]

Like, oh, he's definitely gonna try to get my nips.

[D]

Literally.

[B]

Look.

[D]

Look for a boob. Like, it is crazy how they.

[B]

It is.

[A]

Who would like to look for a nice sack of warm, amazing. Just. It's a. It's a golden sack of love.

[D]

You were doing that with Lisa.

[A]

That's gross. What the hell would you say? That's so Strange.

[D]

Who wouldn't look for that?

[A]

You're sitting there like, that's so strange. That's the craziest thing.

[B]

Dude, it is crazy on her.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. No, we're moving on.

[B]

No, it's crazy thing our parents did breastfeed. So our parents were.

[C]

You were on the nip. It's okay.

[B]

Our parents were having sex. Dude.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Close your eyes and picture everybody go.

[D]

No, no, I would. Mine would like, burn like mine would.

[B]

Oh, man, I'm so glad I never walked in.

[C]

I did.

[B]

You walked in.

[A]

You walked in.

[B]

How was that?

[C]

So this is how I learned Santa wasn't real.

[B]

Is that a weird thing to ask? It's not my parents. What?

[A]

Oh, they were doing some freaky. She was being a ho. She's like, come here, Rudolph. Come here, Rudolph. He's like, I'm gonna drop down your chimney tonight.

[C]

My dad would be saying something way more vulgar than that than.

[A]

No. Oh, my God.

[C]

So I was five. This is.

[D]

This is.

[C]

This is when we lived in McKinney. I was five. My sister was like, just born. It was Christmas time. And there was like, how the old house was set up. There's this long hallway upstairs, so overlook the downstairs. So I saw. I was like, I'm gonna go wait up for Santa. So me and my brother, like, get our sleeping bags. We had sleeping bags. Get our sleeping bags.

[D]

No sleeping bags.

[B]

Sleep like a pow.

[A]

Your food and water's ration. But your dad's dressing up as a ho ho ho. He's going to town on Mrs. No.

[C]

You know, if you were just going to the couch or downstairs, you grab your little sleeping bag, you made like a pallet.

[A]

Yeah, sure.

[C]

That kind of. Anywho, me and my brother are over looking to the downstairs. We see. We start seeing, like, things moving around. We're like, what the is that? Well, you know, pg, but. And we see him and I see my dad and just his undies. I'm like, oh, my gosh. Like, where is he going? Like, what is he doing? So me and my brother creep downstairs, go down the stairs to, like, see where they're at. And the room is like, their room was like, hidden around the corner where the tree was. And I go in there. My mom is like, perched, like, purged.

[A]

Up, ready to go.

[C]

And I hear her, did you finish putting the presents out? And as he's grabbing all the presents from the floor to put him out because he's Santa. So I found out one, they do the deed and he's Santa Claus.

[D]

So she was waiting for him.

[B]

Why?

[D]

He went to go put the present.

[C]

She's perched up. She's ready.

[A]

Oh, just a. I mean, a wicked. That is. That's the most out of left field shit I have ever heard.

[B]

Five years old, sleeping in a car.

[A]

Yeah. Sleeping bag y'all didn't have. I think that's the worst part of the show.

[B]

Not in my own home, Ashton.

[A]

I. I used a sleeping bag. If I was in nature.

[C]

Well, I was in Girl Scout, so I just had mine all the time.

[B]

No, no, no. I didn't sleep in sleeping bags unless I was out in the wilderness, which I never was. Or at a friend's house.

[D]

No, it was like sleepover.

[C]

Like all the girls, when you'd have sleepover over with your girlfriends, everybody, they were pink. There was like, a bar.

[A]

That has to be a girl thing. I, I, I literally bought a sleeping bag. I bought a sleeping bag one time because we were going to the family reunion and it was, like, camping stuff, but it was still in a shelter. That's the only time I did a.

[C]

Shelter my entire life. A shelter?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What?

[C]

A shelter?

[A]

No, like a. It was like a refuge.

[B]

Like a, Like a homeless shelter? No, no, you just find out something about your childhood. You're like, I didn't have, like.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait. No, no. We. We went camping, like, at. Because it was at a state park.

[D]

Use the word cabin, you guys.

[B]

Cabin.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Okay. Not a shelter, brother.

[A]

Well, it's not. I mean, it's literally four walls, a door, locks, a cabinet.

[C]

A cabin.

[B]

A cabin, sure. Cat, you can't say a shelter. You either think the apocalypse is happening or you don't have a roof.

[A]

Okay?

[C]

That's how a lot of our Girl trips, Girls Scouts trip trips were. They were in cabins like that. And then we had the, like, luxury cabin.

[A]

You did Girl Scouts?

[C]

I was in Girl Scouts.

[B]

Don't get started.

[D]

She said this multiple times.

[B]

She said she can swim for three hours.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I was in Girl Scouts from, like, the age of four when I was a Brownie and I had my own troop.

[B]

They called you a what?

[A]

They called you a Brownie? Yeah, that's what. I'm surprised. Someone's mom gonna get her ass beat.

[C]

You're a Brownie and then you're a Girl Girl Scout?

[B]

That's what CJ calls me when he's on the phone with his family.

[D]

My grandma has a picture of me in a chocolate frame.

[A]

Mimi, that's just.

[B]

All right, let's get into the game before we get our Families cooked. Okay, so we have a game, right?

[A]

What is it?

[B]

Us four. We have been friends for a long time.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

We know pretty much everything. Too much about each other.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And so we've seen each other in almost every possible scenario we can.

[A]

I've seen you naked.

[B]

How was it? One out of ten?

[A]

A little underwhelming. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

[B]

No, genuinely, though.

[A]

No, it was decent.

[B]

Give it a number.

[A]

I haven't seen you butt ass naked.

[B]

Yes, you have.

[A]

No. No, I've not seen you fully.

[D]

Cameron, the photo that on your phone is buttass naked.

[A]

You're painting a weird picture.

[C]

He didn't have on shorts.

[A]

He had on shorts. They were just crinkled up into his ass. There was shorts on like this on your phone. Okay, my bad. My bad. I derailed. Continue.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So we've known each other. It was good. It was good.

[B]

So I want to say I want to play a game called Most Likely to.

[A]

Brilliant.

[B]

I'm going to give scenarios, and on the count of three, we will all say who we think would be most likely to do this thing.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

All right. We have to be honest about each other here.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All right.

[D]

Are these gonna be obvious, or are we gonna have to, like, think a little bit?

[B]

I think some of them can be obvious, but some of them. There's wiggle room for debate. No, no. So we're gonna. We're gonna. And then. So we're all gonna have different answers, and then we're gonna try to narrow it down to one person. All right, let's do it. Most likely to get us kicked out of a club.

[D]

Ashley.

[C]

Me.

[B]

So count of three got wet.

[A]

That's how we clearly see how women don't listen sometimes. I meant our women.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Most likely to get us kicked out of a club.

[B]

One, two, three.

[C]

Ashlyn and I will tell you why.

[B]

Oh, we know why.

[C]

I will want to. When I have a little drink, I like to stand on the table and sing songs.

[D]

Bro, that table go like this.

[B]

Yeah, she'll be like, if she'll put on sunglasses.

[A]

Like, no, everything.

[C]

Y'all don't wear sunglasses in the club.

[B]

Yeah, but I don't stand on the. Ashland is throwing up in a cup in a club. Let me put that. Let's put that out there.

[C]

I made it out.

[D]

Out.

[C]

Got the Uber called. Made it home just fine.

[B]

So Ashlin is gonna get clear victory. I'm not gonna lie. Second runner up, Cam Kennedy. But you are. You are a nuisance.

[A]

No, no.

[D]

Back in the day, Back in the.

[C]

Day, she would get into a fight versus kicked out.

[A]

But. And that would get you kicked out. No fight in the club.

[B]

That's true, that's true.

[A]

If you get in a fight, you get kicked out.

[D]

Don't bump me in the club.

[A]

Someone bumps her because someone else having a good time doesn't even see if she goes, watch out. Like that. It would be you, not me.

[B]

Okay, that's true, that's true. Then you're third and then I'm fourth. Yeah. I'm in. Such a good time in the club.

[C]

I'm a great time in the club.

[B]

I. I don't just stand there, I'll hear.

[A]

Yeah. I go. You have the least amount of options because you're in a corner creeping with a cnc. I go, look at him. You're like this corner by yourself, just like. No, you're not recording. You're a good time.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Clearly Ashlin for that one.

[C]

Don't get me wrong, I'm a great time out.

[B]

You're tapping. Sorry. Most likely to name their kids something that we will all make fun of. Three, two, one. Yeah, that's me.

[D]

You would name him, like, Wall or something.

[A]

No, he would name him like. Like.

[C]

Like how Elon Musk names his.

[B]

Like a code that far.

[A]

No, you would name him. Oh, my God. You name him like, you're like cpm, but that's like his initials. Charles.

[B]

No. For the longest time, if I had a daughter, I wanted to name her diamond now. Okay, that's what I heard.

[A]

Yeah. Now that immediately sounds like, if your.

[C]

Name'S diamond, that's great.

[A]

Dancer.

[B]

No, but if she wanted to be an exotic dancer, I'd be like, well, at least you got the name for it, sweetheart.

[A]

And what if she was like, I want to be a deacon in our local church.

[B]

I'd be like, you're a diamond in the rough. See, I think I have the best. I think I have the most.

[A]

What'd you name a son?

[B]

Pj.

[A]

Yeah. That just can't happen.

[B]

That's such a sick name.

[C]

No, it's not.

[B]

That is cute, but Peyton Jr. Psh. 9. Kid's a legend. Straight out the placenta.

[C]

Terrible.

[B]

Straight out the placenta. You come out that womb looking like me. And you know how to work that podcast, Mike boy. I'm not gonna lie. If Cam didn't have Liv, I feel like Cam would have some shit baby names.

[D]

He would.

[A]

It'd be like, Alec, Alex.

[B]

A cool name.

[A]

Cameron.

[D]

Cameron picked our babies.

[C]

Alec is better than Alex.

[A]

I wanted To I probably would have named my son either Achilles.

[B]

After a tendon.

[A]

Well, after the greatest warrior of all time. Achilles. Maybe Anubis. No, that's Cameron.

[D]

Stop talking about these ancient dreams.

[A]

Let it go, dude.

[D]

Yes. He watched Gladiator.

[C]

No, I was going to say Anubis. Anubis House or whatever it was. The house of Anubis.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Wait, what was your. If you have a dog, Big dog. What you want to name it? It's like some sick name.

[A]

Oh, yes. I mean, Anubis is one black. If I had a black. Well, like a black king.

[C]

Coro.

[A]

Koro.

[B]

Okay. Who is most likely to survive in the wild? 3, 2, 1. Peyton.

[A]

Self centered moron. Self centered moron. Thank you, babe.

[C]

I care for the sick. How is that self centered?

[B]

What the hell does that have to.

[A]

Do with you grabbing the right barrier?

[D]

How is that care for the sick?

[A]

You think you have a better chance of surviving in the wilderness?

[C]

You're scouts.

[B]

Okay, okay. No. Okay, so between me and her.

[C]

Me, Peyton. I was a Girl Scout for how many years?

[B]

You can tie a knot and sell some cookies. Good job. I'm making a fire and killing the zebra. Are you crazy?

[A]

What forest are we in? You're killing zebras.

[D]

I don't know, Peyton.

[A]

The African bush?

[C]

No, I could survive in the wilderness.

[D]

Peyton's definitely a little bit more high maintenance in Ashland.

[A]

So am I, though.

[C]

You wouldn't go shit in a hole.

[A]

Hey, Ashley would try. Ashlyn would try to find food. Peyton would try to find a cell tower. Yeah, for wi fi.

[B]

I'd be like, I can't lie.

[A]

He's like, guys, we're still out here, man. I don't know what I'm gonna do, but come back tomorrow for part two.

[B]

No, literally, Ashlyn would go up to the trees before she cut and be like, I'm so sorry. I don't know why you feel just.

[C]

Sorry. I care.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Well, tell me why you grew this way.

[D]

But what's sad is that she's like, I need this.

[A]

She's like, I need this fruit. But I just need you to understand why I'm taking your fruit.

[D]

What's that? Is that you put my name in the box? In the box?

[B]

Oh, no. Liv, you're cooked.

[A]

No, you're done.

[B]

Liv.

[A]

Liv, you should. Honestly, the second you find yourself stranded, you just curl up and die. If you were stranded, you shouldn't even fight. You shouldn't even put up a fight.

[B]

Make it go quick.

[A]

Literally, just go. Am I. Am I by myself? Guys, there's no answer. You should just go a. Just sit there and go like this.

[D]

Fine. Sadness off of what?

[A]

Literally?

[B]

I have more will to win than Ashlin. I think that's what I would agree.

[A]

I think that's the main setter apart. And his metabolism is already kind of slow with a slight frame, so he doesn't need to eat much on a daily.

[D]

Practical, though, Ashlyn. Probably. But I'm saying.

[A]

You say tactical.

[D]

Is that a word?

[C]

I agree.

[B]

Ashley's more tactical than you.

[A]

Yes. Explain Tactical, gi.

[B]

Yo, what's that mean?

[A]

What the hell are you talking? Tactical mission.

[D]

I really don't know what that means.

[A]

But the clear winner. Let's not get between this. Clear winner's me.

[B]

No. Okay, but the reason crowd.

[C]

The crowd said boo.

[B]

Okay. Cam is very 5050 on this, though. Cam. It's like, yes, if he does everything right, he will survive.

[C]

If he can't find berries, he's gonna be like this in a bush.

[B]

No, he's generally gonna be like, I think he might do too much. That will put him in trouble.

[A]

Like, I could have already been saved, but I am fully in.

[B]

Like, no, this is my life now.

[A]

There is is no turning back.

[D]

That would turn this into, like, good. Like, he would see the good in this.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Being out here is just great.

[A]

I say, honestly, dude, the fact that you open your eyes is another opportunity. Let's. Let's not put down on it, huh? We'll find back civilization sometime. Oh, let's just make the best what we got. Everyone else is crying, throwing up. I'm like, hey, pull yourself together.

[B]

Who is most likely to secretly be a spy? Three, two, one.

[A]

Ashlin. Oh, so you said live. You said live. You said yourself. Yeah, I said Ashley. She said you.

[B]

Okay, let's all make our cases for each other. Why do you say okay, who picked you? I picked you.

[A]

I guess I'm not a babe.

[C]

No, you chat too much.

[B]

Yeah, you're too much.

[C]

You chat.

[B]

Okay, so who'd you say?

[D]

Myself.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, I agree with you. So who'd you say? Me. Why'd you say me?

[C]

Because you're low key. You don't say.

[B]

I'm very low key.

[A]

See, I was going opposite approach for you.

[B]

You're.

[A]

You're low key. You have the low key part. But she has a very diverse network she could infiltrate. She's in the medical system, so she works for her.

[D]

Way too into this.

[A]

Don't get mad at the player. Yeah, she said, who could be a spy? She works for her, hires up. She literally has hipaa. She. She can access a database, find out.

[B]

That's okay. Okay. I'm talking about straight. Just personality.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Because I like games and scenarios. That's where my mind went.

[B]

I could literally show live half of someone's face. She knows her Instagram. Like, that's.

[C]

That's a girl.

[B]

I'm telling you.

[A]

Is true though.

[B]

I don't know. She's a free live is a scary.

[C]

Monster with this and easy that social media investigating thing. They should start hiring for it very much.

[A]

I think they do based very. Y'all are very good at it. She's on a different little.

[B]

No, it's. I was. I thought I was like, at the same level as her. And then she found somebody we're both looking for. And I was like, what the hell? C.J. knows.

[A]

She was like. I thought she was like, I found her through her uncle's friends Facebook post from 2014 that archived this location. I'm like, what?

[B]

But you know who it like somebody in my life who would act. I think is actually a spy. My mother.

[A]

Oh, your mom.

[B]

My mother will find your dental records. Like who. Your dad's sister was like, it is scary. Like, I was showing her house and she was like, I don't like the people who own that one. And I said, what? I'm telling you, she's crazy.

[A]

Now she has more trouble on her hands.

[B]

Yeah, all she does is color and walk.

[A]

You should employ her. No, she get her a license. She could be a PI.

[B]

No, she was just.

[A]

She's a sweet.

[D]

She ever tried to cheat on me?

[A]

Oh, God. Now who says that?

[B]

But you already know everything about me. Yeah, get it, Cuz we have boy tongue parties time.

[A]

It's like dedicated time.

[C]

Secrets are no fun unless you share with everyone.

[B]

Oh, it's not a secret.

[A]

Out.

[B]

Yeah, okay, we got. Let's do a couple more. Who is most likely to sneakily steal someone else's snacks? Three, two, one.

[A]

What? Sneakily.

[B]

I'll.

[A]

I'll walk right up to your plate. Say, get me it. You're not finishing it. He's the little creep bastard. Hey, bro, your dog barked downstairs. I go downstairs. He goes, it takes a little bit. It's him.

[B]

No. Okay, okay, Peyton, the sneaky part. It's him.

[A]

Dude, I'm not even that hungry. On, God.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

But you can go downstairs and grab that for me. Yeah, I'll go get your charger. He's like, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I don't think I've ever done that.

[A]

I will literally say, hey, you're not gonna finish your sandwich. And I'm still hungry. Give me your sandwich. That's my approach. I don't have to.

[B]

The only thing I sneak in Yalls house is giving Ruby a grotesque amount of treats.

[A]

Yeah. And that's. You sneak that you're downstairs. You go, bro, I'm not even that hungry. We don't.

[B]

I don't need.

[A]

I don't need the food. We're good. An hour later, he said four bags of Doritos. He's had two things of gummy worms or whatever.

[D]

It's like, you literally left cookies on my freaking stairwell and save them for later.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

That's, like, sneaky.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

My dad was like, whose cookies are these?

[B]

Okay. But the thing is, it's. The other sneaky part of the family is Mike. Mike snuck me those cookies, and then I snuck them somewhere.

[D]

Oh, God. That's a bad matchup.

[A]

Oh, no. My dad. Do. My dad. You'll be sitting there doing dishes, and then my dad will just appear behind your shoulder. Like, he'll literally get home from work, come through the door, walk right behind you, and there's not a single sound. And then you're. He's just standing there. He goes, what's up?

[C]

He had. Your dad has that, like. Don't take this the wrong way, but he could be a serial.

[B]

Yeah, 100%.

[C]

Like, he's like.

[A]

He's good at.

[C]

He just shows up not getting cut.

[A]

Huh? I know. That's where I get it from. We both got that. That. That edge to us.

[D]

Like last night when I was literally putting my laundry away, he was just standing in the little. Whatever that thing.

[A]

I was standing for about 25 seconds before she noticed me.

[B]

I'm like, that's terrifying.

[D]

Are you doing.

[B]

Yeah, it's terrifying. All right, last one.

[A]

Let's do it.

[B]

Who is most likely to get lost in their own city?

[A]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm torn.

[B]

I got one.

[A]

I am very torn.

[C]

Don't do that.

[B]

Ready?

[A]

Count it down.

[B]

Three, two, one. Live. Peyton.

[A]

Peyton or Ashlyn?

[B]

It's Lynn.

[A]

What?

[B]

Cam. She gets lost with a gps?

[A]

No, no. She just sucks at reading gps.

[C]

Peyton lived in Dallas for how long and still use gps?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And you got lost in Austin that one time. We were trying to. You were taking us to the mall. You're like, guys, you want to go to the mall?

[A]

That is true.

[D]

See, like, you.

[A]

I originally said Ashley because I feel like she's always the type. Like, she'll miss something, and then she'll be like, well, I. Like, this is my way of doing it, though. Like, this is how I get here.

[D]

That's not her getting lost.

[C]

That's not me.

[B]

That sounds like cj.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, then I retract that. Sorry.

[D]

Thank you. It's definitely not me. I can drive anywhere I could out of anybody in the friend group. I can get us from point A to point B.

[A]

And remember, she does remember the parking.

[C]

Spots and that stuff.

[B]

Yeah. Because she took the wrong exit 20 times. So you're going the same spot. You better remember it. I've been on this road 20 times. Time.

[D]

Okay. You're getting this information off the camera.

[B]

I've seen it. Whatever it says exit 300ft.

[A]

Yeah. Live goes to 80ft. It's not that one. Just keeps driving.

[D]

Okay. That's not. That's bad driving. That's not like not knowing. Take me. Take me to okc, and I know where I'm going.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okc is 30ft wide. Dude, I grew up in Austin.

[A]

He literally. He literally asked us for directions in his hometown.

[C]

I remember.

[A]

That's unacceptable. That is. That's him.

[B]

That's. Damn.

[D]

I'm like, this is our first time here, dog.

[A]

I said I could look it up. He goes, I. I think it's over here. Yeah, it's 100 you.

[B]

Yeah. It's a fact.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

He definitely won this game.

[A]

Hey, that was good, though.

[B]

That was a really good game. Really good game.

[A]

Some of y'all lying yalls ass off.

[B]

Cam, do you have something for us?

[A]

All right, I have a question for y'all, specifically, y'all, because I think me and Bubba Boo Bear over here, I think we're gonna agree. Oh, all right. Okay. So the question is simply, is face timing without a warning acceptable?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

But it depends. It depends.

[B]

No, hold on, hold on, hold on. It is absolutely not acceptable.

[A]

Absolutely not acceptable.

[D]

Why not?

[A]

Why?

[B]

You have to schedule an appointment.

[A]

You have to tell me. You have to.

[B]

Who the.

[C]

Are you? The President of the United States? Schedule an appointment.

[D]

If I can't, I can't hang up.

[A]

Is there.

[C]

Is there an open table reservation for me to schedule a FaceTime with you.

[D]

If I can't take. Are you kidding me? And just call my husband and not have a reservation?

[A]

That's some up sometimes I don't want. What if I don't want you to see what I'm doing?

[C]

Okay, then don't. Then don't answer.

[B]

Or. I'm just saying.

[D]

I'm busy.

[C]

Can't talk right now.

[A]

I hate.

[B]

Okay. FaceTime is so specific. When you say this.

[A]

I.

[B]

You don't. I have to be ready for me to see your face and you to see mine. Like, I. A lot of the time I'm in a vulnerable position and. And I don't look the best. My makeup's not on.

[D]

This isn't fair because you guys aren't normal humans. Like, you're. You're usually sitting at home, butt ass naked, doing weird.

[C]

So of course, no, I will say.

[D]

That people aren't gonna. You're gonna have to schedule a FaceTime. I'm never gonna not be ready to FaceTime. Like, I might be in my bonnet, in my movie, but you're gonna get this. But I'm gonna. You're gonna get a FaceTime from me. Cameron, I don't know why the you're saying no. He doesn't even answer the phone. He doesn't answer the phone.

[C]

And you don't even have your phone.

[D]

On you just because your. Your mind is over here.

[A]

Exactly.

[D]

I can see that with you. Because you need a plan. Like, you're like, same.

[C]

No. Okay, but when I FaceTime, Peyton, it's literally 25% of the time he'll answer. And the other half completely not. And he'll be like, oh, that's for everybody.

[B]

I never answer. Peers.

[A]

First off, first off, first off, she said 25% of the time he'll answer. And the other half, that he never does. The other quarter. As the other.

[D]

She said.

[A]

She's like, wait, it's the same. I didn't think I said it right, dude.

[B]

I just don't like surprise. FaceTimes. It's the worst thing ever.

[A]

It's very vulnerable.

[B]

So vulnerable and invasive.

[A]

It honestly immediately makes my heart race.

[C]

Or he'll say he'll call me back and then he never does.

[B]

Oh, that's my go to.

[D]

No, no, no. This is where I'm going to get y'all. It's because it's a specific person. Cuz you sure as hell be FaceTiming each other business partners.

[A]

Now that. Now that's.

[B]

No.

[A]

Now that. Now that is fine. I'll agree that anybody in this room, no matter the time I get FaceTimed, I will answer.

[C]

That is not true. I've called you many times and you have not answered.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

Yes, I do.

[B]

Both of y'all know Pierce has to. Oh, I know. I'm not answering.

[D]

Pierce has to call me.

[A]

I answered.

[D]

Wait, hold on, Cameron.

[B]

See? So wait, say that again. Again.

[D]

Pierce has to call me to get a hold of you.

[A]

He did that one time.

[B]

Many times.

[A]

He said the kid didn't want to drop off a turkey.

[B]

Oh.

[D]

Then he left the sweetest voicemail ever. And I was like, camera, pick up the phone and call that man.

[A]

And what was I doing?

[D]

Not sitting there stuffing your face at.

[A]

That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie.

[B]

Okay, sorry, dude. My. My go to is saying, if I'm not. Dude.

[A]

Like, like, okay, listen, if I'm doing something, it doesn't matter who you are. My mind not be there. It might not be there to answer the phone. I'm saying, if I'm just sitting there, anyone in this room calls me, I will answer it 100%.

[B]

Not me.

[A]

That's not Bro. Anyone. We know.

[C]

We know. We know, bro.

[A]

It's okay. It's not an excuse. I swear to God. You act like I'm thinking, oh, I need to call Pierce back. Ah, that. This. It's called crippling adhd. I will absolutely forget that you called.

[D]

Me over you using that. It is a crutch, but I'm over the adhd, bro.

[A]

It is a crush.

[B]

Okay? My. My go to. Okay. This is my sole reason.

[D]

Okay?

[B]

There's no need for you to do that. There's no need for you to FaceTime me because a majority of the times I answer a random facetime, it could just be a text.

[C]

But you.

[B]

No. And so I'm saying, why do I have to make sure of my surroundings, what I look like? What you look like when you could just text to me and I respond.

[C]

Why can't you just answer the phone?

[B]

Okay, no whoop. The whoop. And so I'm saying thing. I lie to y'all so much. Let me put that out there. I'm not on the phone with somebody else when you call me.

[A]

I'm not.

[B]

I'm not doing.

[A]

I know you're not.

[B]

I'm not doing something.

[C]

When you call me up, you said the other day, Peyton hit me with. I tried to face him. He's like, I'm on the phone with my mom. I'll call you.

[B]

Oh, I'm never on the phone with my mom.

[D]

When you say you are, but your.

[B]

Mom, I'm like, if it's not at.

[A]

Night time, if he says I'm on.

[C]

It was midday.

[A]

It's 3pm I know, I know, I know.

[B]

No, it's just because it. It's scary to me. Like, if you have an emergency, I feel like you'll. If you call me, like, three times in a row, first one, I'll ignore immediately. Second one, I'll be like, shit, should I. Third one, I'm like, okay, I have to answer.

[C]

Yeah, I'm no longer answering your never answer my FaceTime.

[B]

That's not true.

[D]

Like, when I was trying to buy Cameron that chain, I think I called your ass like 30 times. I was like, oh, I. Yeah, I.

[B]

Literally watched it ring. I was like, I love you live.

[A]

But I'm in the shower. See, that's the thing.

[D]

I still answer. Well, not me. When you're FaceTiming me. I. I don't answer when I'm in the shower. But I'm saying when Cameron's in the shower, I'll still answer it for him.

[A]

Yeah, or like if it's girlfriends.

[C]

Like if Liv called me and I was on my phone in the show, I would answer.

[D]

Just say that.

[A]

First off, I don't understand how y'all are on your phone in the shower.

[C]

Music. Picking the music for the shower.

[A]

You're watching Tick Tocks in the shower.

[B]

You're an iPad baby. Your own.

[A]

Your own.

[C]

When your hair mask is in your hair and you. You have to wait the 10 to.

[D]

15 minutes to rent it out.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Your own body doesn't even get enough self respect to not put the phone down.

[D]

Bullshit. You used to set your phone up in Arkansas on that crusty ass shower.

[A]

To do What?

[D]

And watch YouTube videos.

[A]

That's at least a whole video. TikTok requires scrolling. There's different things. I picked one video from the start, I put it in a corner because that was the first time in my life I had a shower that had a water free corner.

[B]

The only time I'm on my phone in the showers, if Cam's FaceTiming me and I'm showing them spots. Okay, well, Cam seen my spots.

[A]

It's like a Dalmatian.

[D]

Yeah, like, do you have Malaysia?

[B]

Wait, what? You just.

[A]

What she just say That's a country.

[B]

What?

[A]

What are you trying to say?

[D]

Like that thing I have on my back.

[A]

What? The.

[D]

Baby.

[A]

What?

[C]

I'm talking about Malaysia.

[A]

Babe.

[D]

You know what I'm talking about. That. That white spot on my back.

[A]

Yeah, what's that called? It's not Malaysia.

[B]

Vino.

[C]

Yeah, what Michael Jackson had.

[D]

Wait, I know what Michael Jackson is. Wait, no, it's not. It starts with the M. It's called Malaysia.

[B]

No, it's not. That's an airline. That's.

[D]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm looking it up.

[B]

You got Vitiligo Live.

[A]

No, it's not vitiligo. It's. It's like one little Malaysia skin condition. It's damn sure not malaria.

[D]

I'm kind of scared to click the images. Oh, that's not it. Yeah, it is. Yes, that is.

[B]

It's called Malaysia Melasma. See me, not melasma.

[A]

Yeah, Malaysia is. Is.

[B]

Is home to humans.

[D]

Like these dots. So when camera.

[A]

What the is that? What is that?

[D]

A forehead?

[A]

What in the hell?

[D]

Forehead. Remember that?

[A]

That looks like. That looks like a rhino's ass. It looks like a backside of a rhinoceros.

[D]

I thought unshelled turtle. Because you said you show him your spot.

[B]

I talk. I'm talking about my. My is what I show him. I show my dark trail.

[A]

He's talking about his mic.

[D]

You don't have melasma? Melasma?

[B]

No, I have no melasma.

[A]

No, no one. No one's got plasma. Malaysia Mino.

[D]

It is like, in our, like, melanin skin. It happens more with us.

[A]

Not me.

[B]

We don't have melanin.

[A]

I know.

[B]

All right, this is great. Thank you for coming. We're going to keep going on the Patreon. If you're on any tier Patreon, you get the extended version of this. We're going to have not miss this one. We got a full full house.

[A]

House.

[B]

It's gonna. And we're gonna have no filter here. So we're gonna talk about some.

[A]

We're gonna talk about any and everything.

[B]

We're gonna talk about the real reason Ashton has been gone. So make sure you head over to the koala club right now and go see that cam. Get us out of here.

[A]

All right? Absolutely love every single one of you. You already know that. Thank you for coming back to another episode. Ash, Pierce, Ryan, cj. Awesome love in the comments and especially Mama Liv, because this is the week that our baby boy has finally joined us on this side of the womb. He finally escaped that evil, evil, scary, dark place. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

[D]

All right?

[A]

I'm kidding. But he's here. He's been born. Leave live some love. She's gonna watch this episode with Malachi. This will be Malachi's first episode. He watches with his own eyes.

[D]

Stop, you're making me cry.

[A]

He said he can see, but he can hear it. He'll be able to hear it, but we absolutely love y'all. To confuse the casuals, this week's secret code and to get your good karma is M A K. M A K. Mac Malachi, Anthony Kennedy. He's finally here, Mac. Leave it in the comments everywhere. Patreon 2025, the new face, the new resurfaced Patreon is available right now. First link in the description. Check that out. We absolutely love you.

[B]

We love you so much. And remember, 1 out of 10 koala bears don't make it home to Christmas. Oh, and we'll see you next time.

[A]

Hey, Bubba boy.

[B]

Hey, Maliha.