WE LISTEN AND WE DON'T JUDGE! -You Should Know Podcast-

Summary

You Should Know Podcast – Episode 142: "WE LISTEN AND WE DON'T JUDGE!"

Host: Peyton Hardin
Co-Host: Cameron Kennedy
Release Date: December 9, 2024
Description: Peyton and Cam, best friends and co-hosts, dive into their most revealing secrets while playfully teasing each other, creating an engaging and intimate listening experience.

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1. Episode Kickoff and Community Updates

The episode begins with Peyton enthusiastically welcoming listeners back to episode 142. He emphasizes the growth of the podcast community over 2024 and encourages listeners to subscribe, comment, and join their Discord server for a more interactive experience. Peyton announces exciting changes coming to their Patreon Koala Club, including new tiers, uncensored and ad-free episodes, bonus content, and exclusive segments starting January 1st, 2025.

Notable Quote:

• Peyton [00:32]: "We've had one heck of a year here at the You Should Know Podcast, and there's so much more we want to keep doing."

2. The Sticky Powerade Incident

Shortly after the introductions, Cam returns to the studio visibly distressed over a spilled bottle of Powerade, which Peyton humorously claims was intentionally placed there. The duo engages in a lighthearted exchange about the mess, reflecting their close friendship and comfort in joking about each other’s mishaps.

Notable Quotes:

• Cam [03:03]: "I can't even sit down. Sticky Powerade."
• Peyton [03:12]: "I intentionally missed your seat."

3. Cam's Bold Haircut Announcement

Peyton drops a surprising announcement: Cam is getting a significant haircut, marking his last episode with his current hairstyle. This revelation sparks a humorous debate about Cam’s appearance post-haircut, with both hosts speculating wildly about the outcome. They discuss the potential reactions from friends and family, showcasing their playful dynamic.

Notable Quotes:

• Peyton [08:27]: "This special announcement has to come true."
• Cam [09:00]: "If I do this, my head will become larger or smaller."

4. Future Family Plans and Humorous Speculations

The conversation shifts to Peyton’s contemplation of having a child, leading to a comedic exchange about what Cam’s reactions might be upon meeting Peyton’s future son. They joke about the child’s appearance and the exaggerated scenarios that might unfold, adding a layer of personal insight into their lives.

Notable Quotes:

• Cam [09:18]: "If I’m not missing something, you’re going to have to go get a tan after that."
• Peyton [12:37]: "Do you think I'm gonna look better with the cut or worse with the cut?"

5. "We Listen and We Don't Judge" Game

Embracing the episode's theme, Peyton and Cam engage in the "We Listen and We Don't Judge" game, where they disclose personal secrets that have impacted each other. This segment deepens the listeners' connection to the hosts by revealing behind-the-scenes moments and mishaps they've kept under wraps.

Notable Quotes:

• Cam [36:07]: "Whenever you had your old dog that misbehaved... it was really me and my keys."
• Peyton [37:00]: "One time, when all of our family came over, I intentionally farted at the bottom of your stairs."

6. Pop Culture Segment: The $10 Million Disney Ticket

Transitioning to their popular pop culture segment, "Pop Culture Pay an Incam," the hosts discuss Disney’s exorbitant $10 million ticket offer. Peyton and Cam dissect the absurdity of the deal, debating its value and the practicality of such an exclusive offer. Their banter highlights their critical perspectives on extravagant marketing strategies.

Notable Quotes:

• Cam [56:35]: "You can't own a part of Epcot. Kennedy, Man."
• Peyton [59:05]: "That is nonsense. I'm not paying $10 million for that golden ticket."

7. Satisfaction Blind Ranking Game

In a fun and interactive segment, Peyton introduces the "Satisfaction Blind Ranking" game. Cam ranks various satisfying experiences without knowing the subsequent items, leading to amusing surprises and honest reflections on what truly brings them joy. This activity not only entertains but also offers listeners relatable moments of self-discovery.

Notable Quotes:

• Peyton [71:31]: "We listen and we don't judge. ... It's going to give you a little back scratch."
• Cam [73:47]: "Petting your dog when you're intoxicated is a top-tier feeling."

8. Closing Remarks and Upcoming Content

As the episode wraps up, Peyton and Cam reiterate their appreciation for listeners, encourage sharing the podcast, and remind everyone to check out their Patreon for exclusive content. They tease future episodes and segments, ensuring listeners stay engaged and look forward to what's next.

Notable Quotes:

• Peyton [80:31]: "We absolutely love and adore each and every one of you."
• Cam [82:11]: "Please share this podcast with your friends. We love this community."

---

Conclusion

Episode 142 of the You Should Know Podcast offers a blend of personal anecdotes, playful teasing, and interactive segments that highlight Peyton and Cam’s strong friendship and dynamic chemistry. From unexpected announcements to humorous games, the episode provides an engaging and entertaining experience for both long-time listeners and newcomers.

Key Takeaways:

• Community Engagement: The hosts emphasize building a strong community through subscriptions and Patreon support.
• Personal Growth: Cam’s upcoming haircut symbolizes change and the willingness to embrace new looks.
• Humorous Transparency: The "We Listen and We Don't Judge" game fosters openness and laughter over past mistakes.
• Critical Pop Culture Analysis: The discussion on Disney’s $10 million ticket showcases their ability to critique and analyze extravagant trends.
• Interactive Fun: The Satisfaction Blind Ranking game adds an element of surprise and personal insight, enhancing listener connection.

Whether you’re a regular follower or new to the podcast, Episode 142 delivers laughter, heartfelt moments, and relatable content that underscores why the You Should Know Podcast remains a beloved show in its niche.

Transcript

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Hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like you know to check the date of the big game first before you accidentally buy tickets on your 20th wedding anniversary and have to spend the next 20 years of your marriage making up for it. Yeah, checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate Savings. Vary terms apply. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliate Elliott's Northbrook, Illinois the you Should Know Podcast hey everybody, welcome back to the you Should Know podcast episode 142. Round of applause please everybody. Welcome back to you Should Know podcast episode 142. If you're new here or if you haven't already, look below. You see the subscribe button. Is it pressed? You're wrong. Even more below that and you see that comment section isn't fulfilled with your name. Guess what? Even more on Go and fill that out. Get your good karma. We are almost to 2025. In 2024 we have had one heck of a year here at the you should Know podcast. But there's so many things we want to keep doing. So be sure to share this podcast with your friends, family, loved one, your group messages and have a community to talk with. And in that community you can have one on the Discord. The link to that is in the description below. Patreon Koala Club. You know as soon as January 1st hits there is going to be changes for the better to the Koala Club. We're going to have three different tiers, uncensored and ad free. Full length episodes will be available on the Patreon with a bonus episode for your head tops as well as new shows, segments and a bunch of crazy stuff you can only get on the Koala Club. So be sure to click that link in the description. Join the Koala Club Facebook Join it Twitch Join it and thank thank you to everybody that got the new merch that should be to you before Christmas. We love you so much. Again, again, again. Please share this podcast with your friends, families, and loved ones. We love every single one of you and we appreciate you more than you ever know. Here's a kiss. Give me one back. Send a picture of you giving me one back. Here you go. All right, now on to the rest of the episode, the you should know podcast. We got co host Cam back in the studio. Oh, Cam.

[A]

O.

[B]

What's wrong?

[A]

I can't even sit down. Sticky Powerade. I'm wearing gray sweatpants, and that's Mountain Berry Blast. It's blue as hell and I can't sit on it.

[B]

Cam, it's. I intentionally missed your seat.

[A]

No, you intentionally got my square when you poured water and defecated on it. It's always been over here. This week. That is a line exactly where my left outer thigh will be.

[B]

I forgot your wide hip, your wide body.

[A]

Yes, I'm a wide, big bearing load and that is going to be on my thigh.

[B]

And that's.

[A]

Honestly. That is so upsetting. I literally. My fingers are sticky. I just touched it. My fingers stick.

[B]

You know, fun fact, that Powerade was there before the break.

[A]

Oh, I know. I remember you drinking it.

[B]

So that is. That is age like wine Powerade.

[A]

That is now fermented Powerade. Sitting in here, doing but growing Here, I'll.

[B]

I'll clean it.

[A]

Your break. Your snack seat.

[B]

Dude, I'm so indigested.

[A]

Come on, Cam.

[B]

It's clean now. Take a seat. We got co host Cam.

[A]

We got co host Cam coming to you live from the dry cleaners. Fixing his pants. They're blue stains, sticky and wet.

[B]

Go on, sit down. You're good. That's fine. Cam, I feel like we started this episode off on the wrong foot.

[A]

Really? Really? You don't say. You started it on a revving up like a power terrain scooter foot. And I'm starting it hugging the arm of my couch.

[B]

You look.

[A]

Sit like this, away from it.

[B]

You don't look right when you do that, though. You don't look good.

[A]

I look small. I look like a small man.

[B]

Can we. Can we announce something?

[A]

Both of our mustaches are too long.

[B]

Too long. So gross.

[A]

They're both too long.

[B]

We need hair here. Wolverines. We're a Wilf. Wilf. It's like Wolverines.

[A]

I.

[B]

It's like man and men. Wilf Wolf is man. Wilf is men.

[A]

I thought you were going like Wolverines. I'd like to.

[B]

Go Taylor Lautner. Is a wolf.

[A]

Taylor Lautner is a wolf. I always team Jacob, dude.

[B]

I was. I was definitely team Jake.

[A]

It gave more masculine. I was like the other guy, he's white as snow. Yeah, he's got to go outside a little bit. Doesn't care if he's a vampire.

[B]

Gotta get some spray on.

[A]

Gotta get some tan. Like just go to a planet tan.

[B]

Have you, have you ever been honest about that?

[A]

About what?

[B]

Remember that one summer you would go get spray tans?

[A]

I know. I did not go get tail.

[B]

I know. Jesus Christ. You never.

[A]

Jesus Christ. I've never got a spray tan in my life. I went to tanning beds.

[B]

No, I sort of got.

[A]

Never received a spray tank.

[B]

Either you lied to me then or you're lying to me now.

[A]

I lied to you then I guess I've never received you. Ryan and Sanjin a membership planet tan that I would go to after 24 Hour Fitness. I'd get a pump and then I'd go get dark. That's what I did. Because I said I'm tired of being the scrawny white guy when his nipples blind the other, the other patrons on the beach. I said, I want to go and be tan and muscular. I remember, never spray those.

[B]

Because I remember you would. You, we would hang out that summer, you would come over, I'd be like, dude, you just look darker. And I saw you six hours ago. What happened? You're like, dude, me and Ryan and Sandra go get spray tans. And I remember you put that in.

[A]

Your own figment of your imagination.

[B]

No, I remember y'all took a picture on the hood of a car and you're all like this. And you're all tan and glistening.

[A]

Yeah. And that was because of a tanning bed.

[B]

No, cuz I remember you're like, I.

[A]

Can'T put on sun.

[B]

You're like, I can't lay on my sheets right now.

[A]

Okay, I never said that. Probably cuz I smell like ass. That's probably why I couldn't lay on my dude. A combination of sweating at the gym and then going and tanning was rough.

[B]

I've never gotten a tan. And then one day I have natural melanin that God graces me with.

[A]

Yeah, that must be nice. And that is a luxury that we all don't have. Cuz if I don't tan or if I don't choose to go burned by the all giving sun, then I will be white and gross. So you should thank the Lord and your parents for that.

[B]

I don't really understand that.

[A]

I'M white and gross.

[B]

No.

[A]

Bit pudgy. I'm like a sourdough starter. If I don't tan, I'm just like a moldable goo that's white.

[B]

No, I don't understand tanning. Like, how are we. Not we. How are you? Like, how is your.

[A]

Yeah. How is y'all? How do y'all do that?

[B]

Isn't it crazy that we can just. As human beings.

[A]

Urban.

[B]

We can just go outside, lay down, and burn and burn, and then we look different.

[A]

Yeah. You know, you can. You know, you can still. Like, you can tan technically, in the. In the winter.

[B]

Yeah. Because there's UVs.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, 100%.

[A]

I thought it was an only summer thing.

[B]

I didn't know about UVS until you told me that this.

[A]

This year, it doesn't have to be hot. A lot of people think it's the heat. It's the UV index.

[B]

No, no, it's an insane. Though.

[A]

Yeah. No, it's. It's B.S.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's actually more upsetting that you can go and you're out in the sun and. Oh. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Throw.

[A]

Throw me another. Throw me another brew. Oh, this song's so good. Oh, I look amazing and beautiful, and I don't hurt at all. And I'm like, ouch. I'm burning alive. Yeah, that. That's the part that I hate the most.

[B]

Yeah. But you get pulled. You get pulled over without a panic attack, so that's fun, isn't it? You want to see who wins this one?

[A]

Oh, okay. You. You want to go. No, no, no, no. I would be so far under. No, no, I'm kidding.

[B]

But you have a special announcement.

[A]

Do I?

[B]

You do.

[A]

Do I?

[B]

And I'm gonna put him on blast right now.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

So that this special announcement has to come true.

[A]

Oh, my God, I'm so nervous.

[B]

This is Cam's last episode. Oh, God.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Why? You're a rat bastard.

[B]

This is Cam's last episode with a full head of hair.

[A]

Baby, let's go.

[B]

He's getting it buzzed off, baby.

[A]

If y'all do want to see the aftermath of what has been. What it.

[B]

No.

[A]

If you want to see the aftermath of what has felt like a year of hyping myself up, trying to get the courage to do it. Next episode, episode 143, you will see co host Cam in a different light. And it'll probably be a different light. It's gonna be a big ass, white bald head. No. If I.

[B]

If I You're gonna have to go get tan after that.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I'm gonna have to go to the tan. Get some just for men too. Caus man. But, yeah, cats out the bag because of this rat bastard. Basically, him and Olivia have been telling me that I would look good with this, that I should do this, because I did say it. They never pressured me. I said, I want to do this. But now I was kind of been a chicken for the last, I don't know, calendar year, and they're making me do it. So.

[B]

Okay. We have been pressuring you, but then this week, we spent a week away from each other. We intentionally, like, let's take our time. Relationship counseling. We spent a week in your room.

[A]

I'll be in fire.

[B]

We spent the week away from each other. And absence makes the heart grow fond.

[A]

It does. I missed you a lot until I.

[B]

Started thinking about your future haircut.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And I said, maybe it's not a good idea.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So basically, my fear. I have a large nugget you see there? I'll give you a profile, both sides. All right, so my fear is one of two things happens. I get this haircut, and my head becomes larger or my head shrinks. Now, my entire life, I've been on the side of. I think my head will become larger.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Because there's no hair to hide my head.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But now the barber that will be doing this, Brooks, my wife, my closest of friends and brothers, they say that they think my head will look smaller because the hair's adding poofiness. Maybe I'll look. Maybe I'll have a normal head after this.

[B]

What you'll have to do is you'll.

[A]

Never have a normal head. I got a hook.

[B]

Yeah. No, you need to ice it. But what. What needs to happen is I figured out the science of it. You need to trim the beard down with the haircut. You can't have.

[A]

What if I got my hair cut and I was like. Like a cold compress? I tried to like. Or a really hot one.

[B]

I'm, like, moldy.

[A]

Push it in.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, man.

[A]

No, the beard will come down a little bit. It'll have to.

[B]

I was just thinking, like, you could look horrible. You ever stop saying you could?

[A]

But why? But this is my whole. This is my fear. Why are you saying this? You're not helping the case.

[B]

But I'm being honest. You can never say I'm not honest.

[A]

Exactly. But sometimes honesty is not the best policy. You need to hype me up and say you're going to look great. You look sexy once it's done. If I look bad, then you can say that. Because I can't. Hey, glue it back on. It's gone, it's done.

[B]

You ever seen Kim Possible? You remember Rufus?

[A]

If I come out looking like Roof first off, I'd be like, brooks, did you shave my body? I said, why? Why am I glistening if I came out looking like Rufus? Yeah, I would. You would not. The only time any of y'all would see me every week is the podcast. I would be glued in a dungeon in my house.

[B]

But you know what we'll be. You know what you don't need to do? Because you ran past the idea of getting an eyebrow slit, and you don't need to do that.

[A]

No, I did not. No, I did not. I'm not getting the eyebrows slit. I'm not getting the design right there. What if I did? What if I came back, I got an extra piercing on each ear, put more studs. Didn't even add a different earring. It was just two studs, each ear, eyebrow slit, and a sick ass design.

[B]

Yeah. And you got a tooth gym.

[A]

And I got a tooth gym. Yeah. And then I just went like that. Oh, man.

[B]

I would be like. I'd be like, it's a midlife. Midlife crisis at 26.

[A]

Yeah, that's bad. That is a very young midlife crisis.

[B]

But it could be really good.

[A]

I think it will, I hope. Okay, this is. This is your first thing I gotta. You gotta let me know in the comments. Do you think I'm gonna look better? And I want honesty. You think I'm gonna look better with the cut or worse with the cut? You think my head's gonna look larger or head's gonna be smaller? Please let me know.

[B]

And the first people that get to see it is obviously the quality. Patreon gets it first.

[A]

Patreon always gets any and everything first. You already know that. Koala Club members. I'm really counting on y'all to give me confidence because this could be a very dark time in my life.

[B]

And I just thought of a good idea. We. I go with you and we vlog the whole thing.

[A]

Oh, I already. Oh, 100%.

[B]

And koala clubs gets to actually see my first reaction and all of our first reactions to this buzz cut. Honestly, you remind me of my dog when he got bit by a bumblebee in the mouth.

[A]

What are we doing?

[B]

He ate a bumblebee. He got bit by it, and I didn't want to pet him. I was like, Malcolm, until that swell goes down, you're not my dog.

[A]

So you're gonna want to stop making love to me. If this haircut comes out, well, it.

[B]

Would more be like, hey, no eye contact. Like. Like, you know what I mean? Ball cap. Ball caps and beanies only.

[A]

Okay. I get to wear a bonnet, and then I have to turn around.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And I also was thinking about you.

[A]

And, oh, my God, I'm starting to sweat. It's cold in here and I'm starting to sweat. Just think about.

[B]

Your son is coming up here in a little bit. He's making his rookie debut.

[A]

He is his rookie season. We're gonna see what numbers he can put up in his rookie season.

[B]

And I was also thinking genuinely, like, I was just. I was going around shopping, doing a lot of things. I was going to ikea, a lot of family places. I was seeing a lot of babies, and 98% of the babies. I saw.

[A]

You watch your tongue.

[B]

I said, yuck. Okay. Like, wow. Like that. You can't be proud taking that out in public.

[A]

Okay. Good God almighty. Babies need a minute. They're new to the world. They're new to all the pollen flying around. A lot of their faces have little baby acne, and they don't have kneecaps yet. And their toes are creepy.

[B]

No, it's not even like that. It's just like, hey, if you were to tell me that thing came from space, I'd believe you. Like, a lot of them look like little aliens.

[A]

Put it. Put it. You better say this and clear the air. You will say this right now or you will not be his uncle. His loving uncle.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Your nephew will fall in that 2%.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

There we go.

[B]

But let me say this.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

If he doesn't, I will have to be honest with you.

[A]

I appreciate honesty.

[B]

Like, I will be there. I'll be in the waiting room when Liv gives birth. Correct. Am I going to be there? Am I allowed to be there?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

This is news?

[A]

No. Assume so. Yes. But live waiting room. Yes, you should be.

[B]

That's what I said.

[A]

Yes. Sorry. I'm so.

[B]

I will say, Peyton, 100%.

[A]

I cannot speak if my wife's not here. You never know with Liv. You never know with Liv.

[B]

I can't come.

[A]

No, you. You one. I'm saying Liv's not here.

[B]

We.

[A]

Should. We call Liv.

[B]

No. No, no, no.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You fight for my honor right now.

[A]

Yeah. I. Yes. You will be in the waiting room. You'll be. I can't promise you that you will see in that. Go in the actual room.

[B]

I don't want to be in there. It's gonna smell like rank tuna fish in.

[A]

No, get him. There's no seafood. There's no oysters, there's no tuna, there's no salmon. There's gonna be a woman and a baby and a big ass white umbilical cord I got to cut with a pair of shears. That's what's gonna be in this. And then only the placenta looks like a liver in a bag.

[B]

And we're still not eating that.

[A]

Oh, we're never eating that. I'm never touching it. I'm not doing anything with it.

[B]

Let me put it in a mason jar.

[A]

Put in a maze. It an urn.

[B]

No, but when he graduates. When he graduates high school, be like.

[A]

Here'S the thing that fed you. That'd be the creepiest get. You'd be on a list. If you get. Imagine graduating high school and your uncle goes, here's your placenta. Are you shitting me? That'd be the strangest, creepiest gift someone could receive.

[B]

All I'm saying is I brought this up to say if your kid comes out and I am not like, wow.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, my God, that's so cute.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'm going to be honest. I'd be like, cam, don't let that thing touch me.

[A]

Okay, now that's fair. But you have to understand this, though. Most babies, right when they come out, they're not good to look at.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's like cottage cheese falling off of them. One eye's open, one's closed. A little bit of blood on the stomach. Like, it is a rough scene. Rough sc. Their belly button is going to be protruding 2 inches for about a month. Yeah. It gets hard like plastic and falls off.

[B]

I don't think that's just a baby thing. I've met some people. I remember I went to a pool party, elementary school. Somebody still had that. Is that not okay to say?

[A]

The fact you were at pool parties in elementary school tells me everything I need to know about you to this exact day, though, you're.

[B]

It was part of our, like, our end of the year thing. Like our end of the year party.

[A]

Bathing suits.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

With girls.

[B]

Yes. Where?

[A]

At the school? You know, at a pool school at a big ass.

[B]

There is a community pool because there's a. There's like a neighborhood on the other side of the street, and they had a community pool. We would have, like, end of the year, fifth grade party there.

[A]

And you didn't live there.

[B]

No. That's when I made out with the girl with the hunchback. Remember?

[A]

I said, made out with Quasimodo in a community pool for a neighborhood you invaded and you took over and you made out with the Hunchback of Notre Dame. That's what you're talking.

[B]

I got a hunch. And I do have a hunch.

[A]

No, there's no thinking, brother. You are like a. Like a lowercase. See, if, you know, if you stand right, your shit is. I bet. I bet if someone cracked you right in your back, it would, like, fix you. It would hurt, but it fixed. You go. You'd get taller. You'd be six, nine. Immediately you go, and you just suit up and rock it up.

[B]

Okay. We could close this baby thing out.

[A]

Yeah. Get off my.

[B]

Closing it out.

[A]

You're going to love him regardless.

[B]

By pro. No. By promising. No. No.

[A]

You'd say yes. You're going to love him regardless.

[B]

What if he's a bad person?

[A]

No, you're going to love him if.

[B]

He'S a bad person. I won't.

[A]

If he's a bad parent person that. I failed his parents.

[B]

You fail.

[A]

Failed his uncle.

[B]

I have no response.

[A]

You're gonna love him regardless. Say it.

[B]

I love it. I love him.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I say okay. You have to promise me, as a friend, if your kid comes out and you know, it will creep me out, like, the way he looks is not up to par for my standards. You come out of that hospital room. You go to the waiting room. I'm excited. With balloons. You go, Payton, not now.

[A]

Yeah. I'm like, we'll see you Thursday. I go take a look.

[B]

Just get.

[A]

Get out of here. You know, what if. What if I literally. He had a swaddle on him, and I was like, look, here. Here's my son. And you went, oh, my God. I'm so ready. I removed it. He was, like, covered. I'm like. I'm like, meet your nephew. He's like, he just looks crazy. What would you do?

[B]

I would be. I'd.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Don't you dare say it.

[B]

I'd run.

[A]

No, there you go. There you go.

[B]

I'd run. And then you would take a month off, and we'd have CJ Pierce right here, and I don't even want to look at you. I'd be like, that's what you're making, huh? We took nine months for that.

[A]

That's all. That's all I could do. This kid's.

[B]

We're all crooked. We're joking. That none of that's gonna happen.

[A]

My son's gonna be beautiful. I mean, I hope I don't. Okay, here's the one thing I really. I don't know. Sometimes when two beautiful people have a.

[B]

Kid, right, the kid is just. Yeah, but y'all, you don't. So don't worry about that. You're holding your end of the bargain of not being. You're making sure that ratio, you know, that kid's gonna be fine.

[A]

God's honest truth from a woman's perspective. Put your eyes put.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You can't really say you were a woman.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Not right now. Because I am grit. Stop it. I am grizzly and nasty. Need a haircut. Gonna have a haircut. What would you rate me? 1 out of 10. 1 out of 10. What would you rate me? Honestly?

[B]

Not.

[A]

Look at my clothes. I saw that. So. That's so mean. You look. The first thing you did was you looked me up and down at my fit. That's so rude.

[B]

Okay. Me knowing you or just like I just see you on the street?

[A]

Just see me where? We're at a. We're at a dive bar watching the cowboy.

[B]

Are you walking?

[A]

What the hell does that mean?

[B]

The way you walk is creepy.

[A]

I have a bad walk.

[B]

Dude, you walk like out.

[A]

Well, that's just. I'm bow legged. I can't help that.

[B]

It takes a rating.

[A]

You see me, you're not looking at my feet. I have an appropriate. I have like a maybe a 7.5 out of 10 fit on like, I didn't get iced out. But I'm not like bumming.

[B]

Got a haircut.

[A]

Have a haircut and go.

[B]

I'm watching you're. Oh, you're walking.

[A]

I'm walking towards you.

[B]

Well, you're walking towards me towards you. Oh, I hate when you walk towards me. You go, oh.

[A]

Yes. Dude.

[B]

You always look like you're on a mission and you want something.

[A]

No.

[B]

Like it's not. You never. You don't have a warm embrace.

[A]

Yes. I feel like I'm the most. I'm the warmest person when you speak.

[B]

And we get to know you. Yes. But when you're initially coming up, I'll be like, I don't have food.

[A]

I'm never going to be able to come back from these allegations.

[B]

Okay. Dead ass. Rating you though.

[A]

One out of ten. What am I. Stop looking at my. I Look your eye. You literally go, okay. Rating you every time. Just look at me. But don't imagine the mustache trimmed. The beard is trimmed. My hair is thick.

[B]

8.7.

[A]

See, that's all right. See, I'll take it.

[B]

And then when you get to know you, it goes up.

[A]

Oh, so even more so.

[B]

8.8.

[A]

0.1. When you get all of me. All of what I have to offer is 0.1.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You're a 10.

[B]

Oh, thanks.

[A]

You're a drop dead 10.

[B]

I don't think so.

[A]

No, you are a 10. And then when you know you, you're like a six. I'm kidding. I'm kidd. I'm kidding.

[B]

Why?

[A]

No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

[B]

Cuz how I live.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, you're a 10. You are a 10. Outsider looking in. You're a 10. Inside looking in.

[B]

Yeah. Me and your wife have a strange relationship.

[A]

Yeah. You don't hug and it makes me mad.

[B]

No, not that. It's almost. We're too close.

[A]

Yeah. You know, literally, like brother and sister.

[B]

I don't know if you know this, but I'm going to tell you something.

[A]

What's going on today? Are you here to piss me off? Here to frighten me?

[B]

Remember back in college?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

We were all drinking.

[A]

My heart is literally thumping right now. I was about to say, what are you telling?

[B]

No, but your wife did send me a video of you in the shower while she was peeing.

[A]

You've seen my Ghibli bits. You've seen me naked? Butt naked. Wet.

[B]

She sent it like on a Wednesday.

[A]

At 9am Was I at least facing away? I oftentimes face away from the door. Okay, good. So you saw my ass.

[B]

You did look so here. You look like you're hiding.

[A]

I looked like I was hiding. Where's this video?

[B]

I didn't save it.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

Now CJ knows about it. And CJ's.

[A]

I saw it too, you creep.

[B]

Yeah. And he goes, save it.

[A]

Oh, you little freak.

[B]

And I said, no, I don't want that. Live genuinely. I don't talk to live. Like, unless we're in person. Yeah. Like we're not just texting or we will, but like about something. Like there is an objective substance to our conversation.

[A]

Dude.

[B]

I get a random video from Liv at like noon on a Wednesday. And I said, why is Liv sending me a video in invisible ink? And I said, is this supposed to go to me? And so I go, yeah. I scrub it out and I see a white figure with glass around it. And I said, is that kale? And I play it and I was charging my car so it connected to the ox.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

And I hear Liv tinkling It's like a low water pressure hose.

[A]

Oh, yeah. That is a raunchy video. My wife's pissing. I'm big and gooey, just naked and white. I'm like, I look like that.

[B]

You were like, tuck it. No, no, no, no. I was.

[A]

Don't say I was tucking.

[B]

I'm over here. Yeah, but, like, there was no movement of, like, cleanliness. You're literally back to her, facing the wall of the shower. Just small, head down. I said, bro, bathe yourself. Stand up.

[A]

So you never have times in the shower. First off, it was cold in the house, you know, just now turn on the heater so it's cold the second I just got back from the gym. You never have times where you just let the water hit.

[B]

Yeah, but I'm out. I'm open. Like, hit me. I'm not.

[A]

I just. I probably just went, oh, this feels so good. I was like, give myself a hug.

[B]

And you're. You're, like, stuck. Like your head was down. You're just like this.

[A]

Maybe I was, like, seizing or something.

[B]

So you.

[A]

You saw my ass?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bare ass. Yeah.

[A]

It's my hips.

[B]

It's not the first. That's the first time I've seen everything at once. Normally, I just see.

[A]

Look. All right, bad views, bad views, bad view.

[B]

No, it's like, where is that when the clothes are.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

I said, that's not there. Not, like, big, just, like, a lot.

[A]

No, no, I'm Bill bad. No, no.

[B]

I love you, though.

[A]

I love you, too.

[B]

You.

[A]

I mean, I want. Okay, that was gonna sound cr. What just happened?

[B]

I just heard, like, a horn.

[A]

A horse. A horn.

[B]

A horn.

[A]

It's probably outside.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

If you. Okay. If this same video recreated were to be you naked, because you would literally. Okay, here's the difference. I'm gonna show y'all. Me showering versus Peyton.

[B]

This is me showering, just standing still.

[A]

According to him. This is me.

[B]

It's exactly what it was. It was exactly that just Booty bust.

[A]

This would be Peyton. If that's. If that's the door of the shower, something. This would be Peyton.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

That would be. You know, that video could be sold for millions.

[B]

Yeah, no. Things go south. I'm starting that. That. That website.

[A]

Oh, yeah, no, you have. You have a. You have free bags for life. If you want to. All you gotta do is say morals.

[B]

Gone.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

And now you just show myself.

[A]

Oh, my God, dude. My heart. No way. Why did she send that?

[B]

First off, dude, that's my question. I Don't know. She was having a day of like, spontaneity. She was just feeling a little like she wanted to share you. But they don't share you with me.

[A]

Yeah. And she will. If she's gonna share me with anyone, I'd want it to be you.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And it is. Thank you.

[B]

Thank you. What a break. I'm sorry.

[A]

No, it's fine. It's fine. It is absolutely fine. Oh, my God. That's just wild. I can't even be naked in my own home.

[B]

Yeah, no, you have no like sanctuary. You should know podcast. This episode is brought to you by our friends at Harry's. Fun gifts are entertaining, but sometimes you just need a solid no brainer gift. Like a shaving set for someone who forgot no shave. November is over.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Christmas, get 50% off Harry's Holiday craf custom green gift box and free handle engraving when you go to harry's.com ysk that's harry's.com ysk for 50% off Harry's holiday craft set.

[B]

Now on to the rest of the episode.

[A]

Oh my God. I completely forgot to tell you about this story. Last week when we were in Oklahoma for Thanksgiving.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So we're all sitting there talking, our family and everything and we started talking about Christmas list.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And someone. You know, I'm like, I say the name though, but they had like a thousand dollar pair of shoes on their list. No, it was ridiculous.

[B]

No, you don't, you don't do that.

[A]

You're not getting that. You've done nothing to earn that. You're not good enough to get that. Yeah, so that was the consensus. But then everyone was, you're not good enough to get. You're not getting that. No, you're Absolutely. You don't deserve that. You have not proven to me that you deserve four figure shoes. You're not getting it, but here we go. So that was on their list.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then the. The older people, lives, dad, stepmom, everyone's like, what the hell kind of shoot, like, why would you spend thousand on shoes?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They start talking about names and they can't think of it. And I shit you not. Liv's father literally says this. So they're like, oh, it's some shoes. It's like a thousand dollars. And he walks in the room, he goes, thousand dollar shoes. What are they? Kendrick Lamar's. Oh, yeah. Literally. I was like, what did you just say? He said that Kendrick Lamar shoes. I said, are you kidding me?

[B]

I don't think that's the right industry.

[A]

Ever been a thing. I said, he dropped an album of clothing line, like thousand dollar pair of Kendrick Lamar shoes. And then. Oh my God. My mind just went all. I was like, what would those even look like? And I was like, are you like. Do you know what you're saying before you say it was.

[B]

I'm not gonna lie. If Kendrick Lamar would probably drop a fire shoe, it probably.

[A]

It'd be like a weird one, but.

[B]

Because he's into fashion.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

PG Lang and all them, they're into fashion.

[A]

Those big. That big belt buckle is so nice.

[B]

So. But you just reminded me of something.

[A]

What? Talk to you?

[B]

Well, it didn't remind me of anything actually, but it made me want to ask you a question.

[A]

So you're a liar.

[B]

I have a thing about Christmas gifts. Christmas is God bless you.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

Christmas is around the corner.

[A]

It is.

[B]

I feel like there should be a rule with Christmas gifts.

[A]

As in, what rule?

[B]

I live by this rule.

[A]

If I God, it's going to be scary. Than if it's Christmas, you can't bathe until after. And then four days after that. It's a natural stench for Christmas. Like, that's my rule. You really want to bring Christmas? You want Grinch there? Don't bathe. Like, that's your rule.

[B]

No, my rule is if I can't afford the gift I'm asking for, I'm not gonna ask somebody else for it.

[A]

Okay. That's absolutely terrifying. That's terrifying from you?

[B]

Why?

[A]

So if you can't afford it, you can ask for it.

[B]

No, you take me out of it this year.

[A]

I want a cyber truck. I go, what are you.

[B]

No, I'm talking. I've always been this way. Oh, I'm talking about, like, take Me out of the equation. I'm saying you shouldn't ask for a gift that you can't afford yourself.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

Unless you're a kid because obviously you can't afford anything.

[A]

You have no money.

[B]

You have no money.

[A]

No money.

[B]

But if you're like an adult that has a steady job. Right. You get, you make a good honest living. Right. You shouldn't ask for a truck. You shouldn't ask for a thousand dollar pair. A thousand dollar pair of Kendrick Lamar's. You shouldn't ask for a thousand dollar pair of shoes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is that fair?

[A]

I, to an extent, yes. I would 95% agree. I would say if, you know, if you have like that, you know, whatever, that very well off uncle aunt that absolutely loves you, doesn't have kids of their own. You know, they go crazy each Christmas and they prompt you for crazy gifts. Like you got to tell them what you want like, and it, you know, it like it's been a repetition.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That'd be the only thing.

[B]

You are bad at gift giving.

[A]

No, I'm not.

[B]

You are. I can't remember a single gift you've ever gotten me.

[A]

Now that literally made me want to jump on your couch and absolutely kick you in your. That made me want to sweet chin music the living hell out of you. And I don't want you to touch me right now because that's often. That is. That is off limp. That is so rude. Okay, I'm not so rude.

[B]

I'm not saying they weren't good, but if I can't remember them, that's so.

[A]

That's. That is you doom scrolling and not me being a bad gift.

[B]

I get name last Christmas gift. What'd you give me?

[A]

The thing you use every single day in your bathroom.

[B]

No, I lost the. I lost the plug in for it.

[A]

I know you did.

[B]

I haven't used it. I just put my phone outside my shower. The home pod that's such bullshit knows I don't use the Homebot.

[A]

You really lost the cord?

[B]

Yes, well, the cord's attached but the, the little dongle to go into the wall. I don't have an extra one.

[A]

Are you kidding me? You don't use that every day? You don't use that?

[B]

No, no.

[A]

When were you going to tell me that?

[B]

Now that hurts.

[A]

That hurts.

[B]

Who's a better gift giver, me or you?

[A]

I'd say you. That doesn't make automatically make me bad. That just means you're one, I'm two.

[B]

Okay, name another. Give.

[A]

You give me cool shirts and Stuff that you like. See, you're an. And I don't. That's.

[B]

I'm not saying I don't appreciate it.

[A]

So mean.

[B]

I appreciate you doing things for me.

[A]

And I. And I have a very thought driven gift this year and now I want to take it back because you're pissing me off.

[B]

Is it though?

[A]

My blood is boiling.

[B]

Okay. But I'm not gonna lie. You do shoot yourself in the foot with gift giving because for two to three months you'll be in my ear. Oh my God, Peyton, I really want to tell you this gift, it is so good. This gift I'm about to give you is so fire.

[A]

He's an. How is this. Is this not making. I mean, it's boiling my blood.

[B]

I. Oh my God, you're getting it confused with not a I. It means the world to me.

[A]

Doesn't sound like it at all.

[B]

No, genuinely, it really sounds like you got that shirt.

[A]

You mean. Hey. Oh, that's cool. Thanks, Cam.

[B]

No, but it goes in the closet to a place I can't ever find it.

[A]

See, now is that my. So what? So you need a closet organizer instead of more clothes. Clothes. What do you need? I'm gonna buy you a year membership to a maid and she can't. That'd be a hell of a gift for you.

[B]

That would be a great gift.

[A]

That'd be a great gift. That might. I might do that. Okay.

[B]

I genuinely just said that to piss you off. You're a good gift.

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh, no. I swear to God.

[A]

Now, you little giver. No, you can't take it back now that. Now that might. Now that might. Now that might came out wrong. That might have not came out. It's gonna get muted.

[B]

Stop saying it because it's not staying.

[A]

But it's called. That's what it's called.

[B]

It's gonna get cut.

[A]

It's when you. Okay, but can I explain it?

[B]

Don't say it again. But what does it mean?

[A]

Peers in the jury.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you give a gift and then you give it back. So I used it like if you get a gift.

[B]

A regifter.

[A]

Exactly. But say that. That's the term. Okay, now I'm not sure why. So go ahead and mute that one. But. Yeah, that's bullshit. No, people are gonna meant that in your heart of hearts.

[B]

People are going to kill me.

[A]

You are Crumpus. I am Santa and you are Crumbs. Crumpus. It's his demonic brother.

[B]

I don't believe in demons. I'm a follower of Jesus Christ.

[A]

Well, then you should, because they're real. But he.

[B]

No, I mean, like, I don't. I don't. I don't associate with them.

[A]

He created the Naughty List and Sant. Santa didn't like it because too many people ended up getting on it. So then Santa kicked him out of the North Pole.

[B]

Okay, now I. Now I do feel bad. I do feel bad for saying that. Yeah, you should, because it was a joke and I did it to boil your blood.

[A]

And I'm literally sweating over here and.

[B]

I wanted to intentionally boil your blood just now because now we have to be vulnerable with each other. What?

[A]

Are you gonna kiss me? What's going on?

[B]

There's a viral trend going around called we listen and we don't judge. Have you seen this? So the premise of this game for people that don't know is it's common in, like, marriages. In relationships, we're married, so it's fine. Basically, the two parties say, we listen and we don't judge. And we reveal something about ourselves that directly affects your partner. And your partner can't judge. They can't yell, they can't get mad. But you have to say something that your partner doesn't know. And I intentionally just did that to boil your blood. So now we're going to get into this is okay. And we don't judge. Okay?

[A]

You know I'm a soft guy, right? You know I'm a soft hearted, big time lover. Jesus Christ. You wrote him down? You got a notepad of them? How many things are you that pisses you off? Okay, this isn't a good look already, but I need. I need a shaking of hands that when this is over, we love each other like always.

[B]

And. No, it literally has nothing to do with you. I'm just going to tell you things that you don't know that do directly.

[A]

Affect you, that you piss off. That pisses me off.

[B]

No. Oh, that will piss you off?

[A]

Yeah. Okay. Okay, you're going first.

[B]

All right. We gotta say at the same time, okay. Are you ready? Cam, I love you.

[A]

I love you too. Jesus.

[B]

And hey, I swear to God, these are true.

[A]

That's. That's so disheartening. Oh, my God.

[B]

And I've never told you this.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Ready? We listen and we don't judge. Whenever you had your old dog that misbehaved, right? And you had me watch him while you were at work. One time I accidentally had my keys in my pocket and I scratched your couch. And when you got back, you thought it was him. And I just Let him take the fall for it all these years, but it was 100. Me and my keys.

[A]

Okay. Okay. I see where this is going.

[B]

Hugh and Liv were so mad at that dog.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I felt so bad.

[A]

Okay, here we go.

[B]

Ready? Yep.

[A]

Okay. Sit.

[B]

We listen, and we don't judge.

[A]

One time, when all of our family, all of like my family, came over to your house, I intentionally, intentionally farted at the bottom of your stairs to where? Right when my parents would walk in, they thought your. They stink. And I didn't say anything. And I did it to just add to the lore, to the mythical stench of your home. Okay, I'm sorry. Okay. I'm sorry.

[B]

That makes sense now. I'm sorry because the first time your parents came over, my mom thought that they hated her.

[A]

No, no, no, no.

[B]

And you did that? She said. She said, I don't think Cam's parents like me.

[A]

Oh, I piss myself. Oh, my God. Almost peed. Okay.

[B]

Okay. You ready? Yeah. Please, Cam, don't.

[A]

Don't go for it.

[B]

Ready? One, two, three. We listen and we don't judge. One time, when you were working your old job and you had me watch Ruby, I took her outside without a collar on, and she ran away. And I lost her for 10 minutes.

[A]

What?

[B]

And I. I found her, though.

[A]

Are you kidding me? We don't talk. That's my prized jewel. I love that dog. I couldn't find her. I was so scared. I swear to God. I swear to God. Okay. All right. You ready?

[B]

She was in, like, the woods.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

You know that high grass that was behind? Oh, my God.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

She blended.

[A]

Oh, my God. Poor booby.

[B]

She had things all on. I said, you better not.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

No, you're good. You're good.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

You ready? All right. We listen and we don't judge.

[A]

One night, we were going. Me and Liv were going to some picture or something, and I asked to borrow those black pants. I asked borrow the black pants. I found a hundred dollar bill at the. And I lied to myself so much that I believed it was my money. And I kept it and never gave it back. I'm so sorry.

[B]

I'm so sorry.

[A]

I said, oh, that's for me. I said. I. No, I didn't bring my wallet. That had to be mine, right? And I just kept it. I'm sorry.

[B]

Hey. Hey.

[A]

We don't judge. We don't judge.

[B]

We don't judge.

[A]

Oh, we don't judge. My money.

[B]

We don't judge.

[A]

Oh, you stolen money from me, too. That same thing's happened.

[B]

Well, that goes into this.

[A]

We don't judge.

[B]

We listen and we don't judge. When you made used to make a big deal about me always taking your clothes and never giving them back. Like, for a month, every time I went to your house, I would take one thing from your house.

[A]

What?

[B]

Just out of spite, I would leave with one thing that belonged to you.

[A]

What is wrong? That explains so much. I'm like, these shirts don't have arms. How are they leaving me? They can't get up and crawl out.

[B]

Okay, don't.

[A]

I'm not.

[B]

I'm not.

[A]

I'm keeping it in.

[B]

I have one more of you over.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Ready? Yeah. Kim, don't make me hit you.

[A]

Okay. You ready?

[B]

Yeah. Oh. We listen and we don't judge.

[A]

Do you remember when we filmed the car wash vlog a long time ago? Like two years ago on Patreon?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When we were cleaning out your car. We were cleaning out the back of your car. You went to the front to get trash, and I grabbed this heavy pole you had and it snapped your jeep and broke a piece off. And I blamed it on you. Yeah, it was 100% me. I grabbed the pole and it went and it ripped this piece of plastic. And I just let. You thought it was your own car. I just let you think it was you. I'm sorry. Hey, hey. Sit down. We don't judge. We don't judge. I figured, hey, he's dirty enough. He probably won't notice. Dude, it was. It was like. I think it was a. Like a tripod or something. And I literally went to pull it and it was stuck on something. I went. A plastic piece went right off the side. Mmm. I'm sorry.

[B]

It is crazy how aligned our brains are for what I'm about to say.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Oh, no, no.

[A]

Oh, no. Come on.

[B]

Let's say we listen and we don't judge. One time in college, you let me take your car at night. Oh. And I couldn't see on the back roads. And I've never been good at reversing either. So there's a dead end and I had to reverse out of it, but there was a railing right there. And it like the. Your wheel was scraping the side of it and your whole rim just got, like, scratched. And then when I brought it back, I left your headlights on. I swear to God. But I did remember, and I came down and turned them off. Like three, four hours later, the battery was still dead.

[A]

And this whole time, I thought that was ante. I thought it was Ante that left the lights on. It was you.

[B]

You never noticed that scratch, though, on that rim? Man.

[A]

Okay, last one.

[B]

We listen and we don't judge.

[A]

Often times when I show up to your place, if you're downstairs or on the second level, I don't know why, but I'll go upstairs to your room, and I look at your bathroom just to see if you're still dirty. And then it gives me a sense of, like, I'm doing all right. And then I just walk out. I literally walk up there with no agenda, and I look around and I go. And then I come back downstairs.

[B]

I notice you're always.

[A]

You're like, what are you doing? I'm like, ah, I left something. And I go up there. I just go, God damn. And I just go right back down. Okay.

[B]

Oh, I love you, buddy.

[A]

Love you, too.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

Yeah. You scrap. Where would you even have to reverse back then? Why are you in.

[B]

I just remember there was a dead. Like, a dead end, you know, I just drive. And I took your car because I said I needed, like, food or. I don't remember what. I left your car.

[A]

Where was Patty? Just didn't want to drive her. You're like, I feel like I'm a wreck today. Cam, can I get your keys? And just took mine.

[B]

You literally took the resale value of my Jeep down.

[A]

Okay, but.

[B]

But I was wondering why the back of that shit was broken.

[A]

Pure accidental, though. Genuine accident. Like, I. It was lodged, but there was so much shit on top, I couldn't see what it was lodged on. And I started pulling. It wouldn't come, and I yanked it and went.

[B]

So you owe me a hundred dollars?

[A]

Yeah, a couple thousand. It was a plastic cover inside the Jeep.

[B]

No, that's crazy, bro.

[A]

No, and I only. I really only, only. Oh, I really only owe you, like, 25 because you've stolen 75 of my dogs.

[B]

75? Your dollars?

[A]

Yeah, Same thing, huh? You asked to borrow my clothes. There's my money in it. And you said, lucky day.

[B]

No, you. I was washing your clothes, trying to be a good person to bring it back to you. But if I was. That was paying for my services, no.

[A]

Yes, sir. I lended you my clothing. You've stolen my clothing. We're.

[B]

I've never stolen your clothes.

[A]

Blue shorts. They're still yours. The white little. The white and brown little chrome hearts. You still have them.

[B]

I do have those.

[A]

Socks. Still have them. My tricolored underwear.

[B]

Still have them.

[A]

You probably have my All Saints shirt. You probably have that shirt. No, I don't if we're being 100, CJ, if we're keeping a buck.

[B]

Ideally, don't have that.

[A]

Because after we talked about that, like two weeks ago, I went home and went through every piece of article. I was looking at my black shirts, knowing the shirt's white. I said, maybe I'm just seeing wrong. I went through every single shirt I owned, my entire closet, and the dirty clothes, and it's not there. It's probably in your house.

[B]

I've done nasty things in your shorts, too. Yeah, those blue shorts are my go to for nasty ties.

[A]

See, now that's.

[B]

You don't want those.

[A]

That is wicked.

[B]

You don't smell them? No.

[A]

Oh, God, no. They're yours forever. They're yours. Those used to be a good pair of gym shorts for me. You know, those were gone for so long and they were my only pair of navy blue shorts. I literally went out and purchased a different pair of navy blue shorts.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because now I couldn't rock my navy fits to the gym.

[B]

That.

[A]

And you had them this whole time, those shorts?

[B]

I was talking to a girl for like six months, and every time I put those shorts on at night, she knew it was go time. Those were my red panties.

[A]

Those. That was your red panty night. My blue Nike Elite shorts. You're like, come here, girl. It's go time.

[B]

Oh, man, that was really funny.

[A]

We need to do that, like, quarterly.

[B]

Yeah, that's our.

[A]

That's our, like, therapy. That was good.

[B]

I have so much more that I just won't say too. I have so much like, like, bad things.

[A]

That's crazy. We're. We have to run that back like later down the line. That is. Holy hell.

[B]

We will do it again. You should know Podcast this episode is brought to you by our friends at Ship Station. A lot has changed over the last year. If you have a growing e commerce business, you can relate. Whether you're looking for better efficiency during the hectic holiday season, or your business has outgrown your old shipping solutions, you need Ship Station to help you scale your business.

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[A]

Okay.

[B]

Have you.

[A]

I don't know what. I'm just. I'm kind of a cynic sometimes.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I just. There's certain things I see I don't like and I'm going to say it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's this guy on Tik Tok. I do not know if your timeline, your for you page has been blessed by it yet, but mine has. And I went down a rabbit hole. There's this man, grown ass man that sprays dog medicine on his hands to make them more romantic rough. And he holds a block of wood and he's. I have seen this guy sanding wood with his hands.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Knuckles. And he tries to light a match with his knuckles.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What are you doing?

[B]

Yeah. No, there's some people. I think we've.

[A]

Have we just ran out of hobbies?

[B]

No, I think we've reverted. We've reverted a little bit in our evolution.

[A]

We are digressing bad.

[B]

I do think there should be consequences. Like certain people shouldn't be in. Like, like if you're doing that, like you should have your phone tapped. We should hear your conversation.

[A]

We need to know what else is going on.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're spraying dog medicine to make your hands hard and rough for punching power and utility. Hey, put a glove on and do whatever you need to do.

[B]

Like that's what you feel comfortable doing on the open air.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now imagine what he does when he locks that door.

[A]

Oh, yeah. When the door's locked. His garage is down. He's already eating dinner.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He's probably chopping someone up. Dude, like there. Yeah, that might be a lot. But we don't know what this guy's doing. And I wouldn't trust him. I wouldn't trust that gu in the same room as me.

[B]

And I noticed my dad had rougher hands. My, my dad has. Like I've, I, I could literally, I've touched my dad's hand so many times in my life. If you were to give me a blindfold and give me a hundred hands, I could feel my dad's. You go mark that's Mark's hand. He. We were hanging out for Thanksgiving, like two weeks ago. We were hanging out for Thanksgiving when I. We never just hug. It's like a dap hug. Like we're bros, but you know what I mean, we're men. You know what I mean? Dap hug. But in the dap, I heard hurt. I hurt myself. And I said, and I said, that's strange. That's not my dad's hand.

[A]

That's not you.

[B]

And then got a little comfortable. We're talking, catching up. A little bit of drink. A little bit of drink. My dad goes, you trying to go outside and do some pull ups? No, I love. I said, if anybody. All my friends know Mark loves a good pull up.

[A]

Oh, he loves a pull up.

[B]

He will do a pull up.

[A]

You would think. Think he's been in cars.

[B]

You'd think he did a bid for 25 and the only workout he could have done was pull ups. And I said, oh, maybe they got like a workout thing in the backyard still. Strange. Do you got like a pull up bar out there?

[A]

Yeah. Why are you doing that? You're, you're, you're up there in h.

[B]

And I said, damn.

[A]

No, I'm saying like, for. So like, he like for you to buy your own pull up bar and put it in the backyard. He is, he looks fantastic.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he's a set.

[B]

And so I said, no, I'm not gonna do that.

[A]

It's 10:30 and we're sitting here with our drinks. Yeah.

[B]

And then I said, no, I'm not doing pull ups. Like, I don't want to work out right now. I'm a little tipsy. And he goes, all right, I'm gonna go out there. And so I said, okay. He goes out there. Doesn't turn the porch light on. He's out there in complete darkness.

[A]

Did he have shoes on?

[B]

No, of course not. Oh, my God. No shirt either. And so, so. And then I'm like, okay. He was gone for a little bit. And I was like, let me go check on this old man.

[A]

Yo, freaky ass Thanksgiving. Your dad's of your shirtless, bald, sockless, shoeless. And he's like, let me drink and do some pull ups.

[B]

And so I, I lower the blinds to check the porch to see if he's out there doing pull ups. I didn't see my dad. And I said, did he get taken? Did he run away?

[A]

Is he lying?

[B]

Yeah. And we've got to put a silver alert out on him. He's old. They get Lost. They run off. They're like p. And so I go out deeper in the backyard, we have a big tree. My mom planted this tree years ago. My dad is on a tree branch.

[A]

No, he's not doing pull ups.

[B]

And he goes, that's good shit right there. You don't got to pay for that. And I said, dad, do we need to talk?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He said, I'm at 100 right now. He did a hundred pull ups on a tree outside 10:30. Little drug.

[A]

Your dad is a criminal and he's doing it on your family house tree.

[B]

And if you think I'm lying. I think he's trying to impress me. Like, to like, prove he's not old. Mark, you're old as shit, dog. You're about to start.

[A]

You have a video. You videoed him?

[B]

I videoed him the day I was leaving. Right. The day I was leaving home. No.

[A]

What?

[B]

Look, I sort of. Okay. The day I left my home to come back here.

[A]

There's no way.

[B]

My dad, he's trying to prove something to me. He's like trying to show.

[A]

He's like, I could still take you.

[B]

Look, my dad dead ass is doing pulls. We'll put this on screen.

[A]

That's Preston.

[B]

He's doing pull ups in a tree. Y'all think I'm lying? This man is repping, repping them.

[A]

And Mally Malcolm chewing a basketball.

[B]

He just. He just gets up there and he's. He's like trying, like he wants a reward for it. He's a sick man.

[A]

That's good. You see that? That's. That's. That's oak. He's never going to turn on you.

[B]

He's a sick man.

[A]

Holy.

[B]

And then my mom was doing interpretive dancing to like, Lauren Hill. And I said, I gotta get these people some medicine. Like, they're. They have lost it. Like, can you please show me what.

[A]

House she was dancing? Please give your best, your best representation.

[B]

She was in a flannel suit, right? What, like a flat? Like, her pants are flannel. Her jacket was flannel.

[A]

She had a mattress.

[B]

Yes. And had a tank top on. And she was literally like this.

[A]

Like. Yes, yes.

[B]

And my dad's doing pull ups in a tree. Malcolm is two seconds away from death.

[A]

Malcolm's scream, screaming, but none's coming out. And he's chewing a basketball. Preston's drinking a 40 ounce Coors pacing.

[B]

President's pacing with his eyes closed. It's like, y'all can never. Yeah. I was literally scanning my backyard and I said, dude, these People like these people need medicine dog.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

So.

[A]

Oh, my.

[B]

Y'all can never question where I get my crazy from.

[A]

Oh, my God. But that's why you're you.

[B]

Yeah. 100.

[A]

Holy. That's. I would have if. If you imagine just getting a video like panning video and all that's happening in one, that'd be the greatest video ever.

[B]

If that would have happened when I was under 18, I'd have called CPS. Like, I would. I would have.

[A]

Hey, I don't want to be here anymore. You got to give me. I'm packing my bags right now. Sit in the car two hours. I'll have my stuff downstairs.

[B]

Oh, shit.

[A]

Holy shit. Okay, you're scratching your douche and your belly button hair is so long and wet that one curl is wet right above your belly button. Oh, you're making him breathe. Stop.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Give you bells and a nice little silk dress. You can get some tips. Oh, man.

[B]

This episode is brought to you by our friends, Rosetta Stone. This Christmas gift. The gift that truly keeps on giving. A lifetime membership to Rosetta Stone. It's perfect for anyone looking to learn or improve their language skills. I got that from Rosetta Stone.

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[B]

Now on to the rest of the episode. I think it's time for people's favorite segment. You know what that is? Pop culture pay an incam. Pop culture paying in camp. Okay, I saw this and I want to know what you think about it.

[A]

Let's hear it.

[B]

Disney, right? Disney resorts like Disneyland and Disney World released. Oh God. Disney World, Disneyland. The Disney resorts, they released a $10 million ticket.

[A]

What?

[B]

Have you seen this?

[A]

No, not at all. There's immediately pissed off.

[B]

There's a ticket available for $10 million and these are the perks of it. Yeah.

[A]

Please.

[B]

And you can tell me if you think it's worth it or not.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You and three guests can go to any park. Park any day. For free. Right? Is that.

[A]

It's not for free. It's for $10 million. Let's start there. It's $10 million. So don't you dare say for free.

[B]

You don't think that's. That's a cool perk?

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Off the bat.

[A]

$10 million. I want ownership. I want a part of Epcot to say Kennedy. Kennedy, Man.

[B]

You can't own. You can't own a ride.

[A]

Kennedy's Pretzel Hut. That. That should be the first thing we. We're gonna name something after your family and we're gonna keep it a namesake.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

10 M's.

[B]

10 M's. You get you and three. That's four people at any day. We go right now to Disney forever. Yes. For the rest of your life.

[A]

Okay. Go.

[B]

You can stay at any hotel on the resort as long as there's availability.

[A]

Yeah, we're already. As long as it's not booked up from all the other millions of people that want to go. Even though you have a 10 million dollar ticket. We're not gonna boot Sally and John to the curb for you. You kidding me?

[B]

But you could stay there. I don't know. If they give you the penthouse.

[A]

Yeah. What am I in a two queen room? I'm in a regular ass room. There's no. I better have a butler in the penthouse. I better be able to get food from my pretzel stand whenever I want. El ride better have my face.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And then. Last one. Last.

[A]

There's three perks. Three perks.

[B]

You start to buy the food and stuff at the resort. You have to pay for that. The last one is you have access to all Club 33 locations.

[A]

What is Club 33?

[B]

I don't know. But it has something to do with Michael Jackson.

[A]

Yeah, I'm not going to that.

[B]

It's like. Like a little house on the. On like the. On the park that you can go into that only, like Club 33 people can get into. It's like a little club inside of Disney world.

[A]

So for $10 million. I'm gonna say that again. $10 million million dollars. Money that people don't touch in their lifetime. Ever. I get to go whenever I want. Stay as long as there's room.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I get a Club 33 membership. That is. Disney should literally be ashamed. They should be ashamed for Making that available. I'm not even kidding. That is awful.

[B]

I think.

[A]

What is awful, Peyton, what I read.

[B]

Was the equivalent is a family of four going every day for 22 years.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

You would get your money back.

[A]

Exactly. You would be.

[B]

You'd be getting your money's worth.

[A]

Yeah. You'd be in the profit every day for 22 years. Yes. That is. That is. That is nonsense. I'm not.

[B]

If I had $2 million, I'd do it.

[A]

No, you. I would.

[B]

If I just. $10 million to blow.

[A]

Literally wouldn't let you.

[B]

Like, if I was a billionaire.

[A]

Exactly. That's the only people that that's even made for.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which. If that's your target audience, that's cool.

[B]

And I'm not gonna lie. That's dumb because billionaires, and not even billionaires, just multi. Multi millionaires, they just rent the park out.

[A]

Yeah. They're not going to. They're not. Every day for 22 years.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I haven't even took a. Every day for 26 years. So I have a better chance of pooping every day for 22 years straight than I do to get my money's worth of the $10 million golden ticket.

[B]

Okay, but say whenever we. We all, like, make it big, right? All of us. All of us were weird. Loaded. All of us.

[A]

You Want to go 2.5 M's on this?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

No shot in hell. No way.

[B]

Have you? Okay, I'm gonna say this, cuz. You've never experienced the magic of Disney.

[A]

Not that magical. Can't be. Can't be worth 10 M's, dude.

[B]

It's like you're in a dip.

[A]

So not.

[B]

Nope.

[A]

Can't be. Kid.

[B]

Kid.

[A]

Literally can't.

[B]

It's like you're in a different world, though, bro.

[A]

Okay, so let me. Let's. Let's do the scenario. We go on Wednesday. We have a black.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

We stay in their cool little two queen bedroom. Right. Oh, here's room for four. There's enough room. We wake up Thursday, have a blast.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Let's even stretch it to a third. A third day in a row at the same park where we're buying food and drinks after spending $10 million three days in a row at the same place. We've covered every ride. We've took every picture, we've seen every prop. Okay. We go home. Let's. Next. Huh? We going back when? Next week.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To do what? The same again? And then we're going back when? The. The next day.

[B]

No. You have extended family. You bring four people.

[A]

Four More.

[B]

Three more people.

[A]

Oh. So I have to keep going. I. That would turn into hell. That would turn into a nightmare. That's like a 10. You're buying a $10 million sentence. Like a dare.

[B]

No, but I'm saying, like, their friends. Their friends.

[A]

Could you imagine. Could you even. Could you even imagine going to Six Flags once a month for every month? As soon as it hit March, we'd be like, hey, I'm tired of this. How many times can I ride the Titan? The juggernaut still hurts. And this isn't fun. And the funnel cakes are old. Why are we here? But hypothetically, Peyton, every day for 22 years, that's like. Think about this. That's like buying three, maybe two pets, having a pet its whole lifespan, and then redoing it every day. But instead of a pet, you're at a Disney World.

[B]

That is okay, but hypothetically, right, if the rooms weren't booked, you could live there.

[A]

I was thinking that'd be the only way you could literally live at Disney. But then you're so out of money. You're so out of money. Hey, I want some food. Oh, there's a $42 peach bellini. I'm sure one drink.

[B]

No, I'm sure If you have $10 million to throw around, you're not worried about the price of the Peach Bellini.

[A]

See, but that's your problem. I'm not. There's no. No one. It's only for the elite.

[B]

The 0.00100.

[A]

There's those. The only people that Disney should shut up. Disney should be ashamed. Genuinely.

[B]

Okay, but say let's.

[A]

Let's build our own Disney ticket right now. What would actually be cool for a family? I don't know how much it takes. I don't know how much it costs, but let's say Disney does a $10,010,000 ticket.

[B]

Do it.

[A]

A $10,000 ticket, same perks. You get to go. I don't know how much. I don't know how much that equates to. For Disney. I don't know how much.

[B]

I would say once every three months.

[A]

I was gonna say that too. Like, you get to go quarterly or you get to go three times a year.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You three others stay. And foods include. You stay to a certain extent food.

[B]

And you get like a food. Like.

[A]

Yeah. Like you get this much on like a stipend and then you can.

[B]

You get the front of every line.

[A]

Yeah. The fact there's not even a fast pass in that. I bought a ten million dollar Ticket. And I'm waiting behind a shitty, snotty nosed kid that's picking his ass and waiting to get on the same ride as me. $10 million and I have to wait behind that little shit. You're. You are kidding me. I better be able to walk up to a worker and be like, turn it on. There's no. Dude, I don't think we're. I don't. I, I really don't think we're comprehending. $10 million. Better give million dollars worth. $10 million worth of money going to Disney for a ticket.

[B]

No, they better give me a Disney movie.

[A]

I better have a Disney shirt on. They better. People better ask me about the park and ask me, hey, can I go there? Not today. I want that for my family. You can't go on that ride. This rides off limits except for my blood.

[B]

Today it's like I'm gonna ride this ride for 12 hours straight. Yeah.

[A]

And no one's allowed to get on. Can I sit by you, please, sir? It's my first. Get the hell away. You didn't. You didn't get the $10 million golden ticket. You're not Willy Wonka. They didn't even have a fast pass. That's magnificent. That is. That is actually. That's insane.

[B]

Yeah, no, it's crazy.

[A]

Okay, here's what we're going to do real quick. Imagine the same thing. $10 million. All three of those rules apply. We're going to add things on until as a consensus we think it's worth. Okay. Okay, first thing. You can eat and drink whatever the you want. I don't. That is the first thing. $10 million. You can eat seven. You can order seven pretzels for your little kid. That's only going to eat half of one. And they're going to serve it to you with a smile. That's the first thing. You can eat whatever the hell you want. You can drink whatever the hell you want, alcohol included. That's first. There's no stipend. There's no limit. You can get whatever the hell you want. That is first. Second, I'm not staying in a one king. In a pull out. There's going to be a penthouse that is literally labeled 10M. And if another $10 million ticket holder isn't there that day, that's mine. And that's going to be locked in low. There's going to be big ass TVs, Disney movies on all snacks and drink no weighted scale. If you pick it up, you buy it. No. Yeah, everything there better Be a robe, all that stuff. So immediately. Penthouse at any park location. And any food and drink. Any food and drink. Then fast pass. But on drugs. There's no. You go to the fast pass line. No, I'm on the next ride.

[B]

No, no. If that ride's in the middle of it. Go backwards.

[A]

Turn it off. Bring him down. I want that kid's seat. I want to sit where that kid's sitting. He's gonna get off and wait. I'm sitting there right now. That's 10 million, if we're being honest. 10 million. What else? Unlimited food and drink. Fast pass. That is instantaneous.

[B]

I get a part of some movie. Yeah. I'm a part of some Disney original.

[A]

Some like. Like I'm going to be Stan Lee in the. In the.

[B]

I get a cameo in every movie.

[A]

I'm like that in the movie. Like, it's like it's inside out. 3. The emotions are going. And then one of the kids thing is like, they're watching our podcast or something. Like, we're on there somehow. There's no way I'm paying 10 that, like, I am.

[B]

I am.

[A]

Literally. I just gave you the payroll for an A list actor for the next film. $10 million.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's no shot getting a cameo. Food and drinks, fast pass. Penthouse. And there's something like I'm getting.

[B]

There's no scheduling of my stay. Like, I can't. I don't have to wait around for something like that if it's reserved. Bullshit.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

I get a golf cart around the whole.

[A]

You're right. It's reserved for me. Take that family and relocate them. That is my room. It says Tim in on it. I spent 10 in my own parking spot. Oh, my God.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

Matter of fact, we're not driving.

[B]

You're gonna come.

[A]

I'm getting picked up from the airport. I'm getting picked up. I'll buy my flights now. That has nothing to do with you. Because if someone wants to buy it in Texas, they know there's not one in Texas. We got to get there. That's on us. Hell, we got 10 M's to spend on pass. I can get on a plane.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But when I land, there's gonna be a. There's gonna be the mystery van picking me up, taking me straight to my pit.

[B]

Mickey himself is driving me.

[A]

Yeah. And I'm gonna be like, hey, what's up, Mickey? That's how that's gonna go. And the last thing, I better receive a monthly. I'm not even kidding. Maybe quarterly Monthly or quarterly. Like merch package 100. My kids will have Disney. And not like some basic. Like a hoodie with Disney.

[B]

No, their name is cool.

[A]

With their name on it that no one else has. Every single month. Or quarterly at least.

[B]

God damn. That might have been my favorite pop culture, bro.

[A]

And that's still pushing the line. Like, if we're being okay.

[B]

The thing.

[A]

The thing about that is it, like, that is such a sucker's buy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No one literally imagine just staying at a Disney park for three days straight.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Let alone going three times.

[B]

And you're like, I would love it.

[A]

That'd be fun, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But then you wouldn't want to go back.

[B]

You. But you can't say that.

[A]

But I'm saying you wouldn't want to go back anytime remotely soon to where you're checking off.

[B]

It's not true.

[A]

Every day for 22 years.

[B]

No, that's crazy. 22 years is crazy. I'm just saying I would go every day for, like, probably a couple months, bro. It's so fun.

[A]

And then what? You would know everyone by name?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You know everything. And then you're gonna go home and be like, damn, I really don't want to ride the twisted teacups again. I don't want to go back.

[B]

My dad pass the storm.

[A]

That stormtrooper's name is Phil. I've seen him out of the side of his mask.

[B]

My dad passed out on the twisted teacup.

[A]

No, he didn't.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

He got off that playset.

[B]

Oh, that's so funny, bro.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Oh, I still out. Still.

[A]

There's no shot. And that was pop culture pay, Nick.

[B]

Pop culture pay.

[A]

And they can.

[B]

This episode is brought to you by friends at Shopify Cam. Do you remember the old days of the old merch drops? You remember those?

[A]

Oh, good Lord, yes.

[B]

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[A]

Cha Ching.

[B]

Now on to the rest of the episode. This episode is brought to you by Unbound Marino.

[A]

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[A]

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[A]

I have a game for you. I think it's gonna be fun.

[B]

Will I be embarrassed?

[A]

You will not be embarrassed.

[B]

Thank God.

[A]

I think it'll be very fun. It's gonna. It's gonna give you a little back scratch on that old. On that old stroke and bone. Now that sounded wicked.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But before even telling you what it is, I'm gonna arm you with what you need.

[B]

I get a whiteboard and I'm not. No, no, no, no. Cuz my aunt. My. My aunt Carolyn called me. She. She called me. She said, you need to stop doing public math.

[A]

She said. She said, boy, we raised you better than that. You can't stop doing that, Peyton. Yeah, so it's not math. I promise it's not math, everybody. But I do need you to number one to ten. Like in a straight line. Like one straight line. That would. That would have been the worst line the world's ever seen. 1, 2, 3. Give them dots or dashes. You're so backwards. Just everything you do.

[B]

Okay, I numbered one through ten.

[A]

Brilliant. Okay, show the people. I did number one through ten.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So what you're doing, you are simply going to go through a blind ranking.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

Blind ranking. You have no clue what's coming next. And these are things that are satisfying satisfaction for Peyton. Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So we're going to hope, we're going to see how well you know yourself because you have no clue what's coming next.

[B]

Like what satisfies me.

[A]

Yeah, I'm going to name 10,000.

[B]

Don't. Don't say her name.

[A]

No, no. Oh, there's something on there, but I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't.

[B]

Patreon in 2025.

[A]

Okay. So basically we're doing a satisfaction blind ranking, 1 through 10. You have no clue what's coming next. And we're going to see how accurate the list is when you're all done.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Then you're going to tell us what you would move.

[B]

Okay. So I've never done a blind ranking before and I see them on TikTok and I'm always like, I would be so bad at this.

[A]

Okay, here we go. Ready?

[B]

Yeah, sure.

[A]

Laying down in fresh and warm, brand new out the dryer. Bed sheets.

[B]

Oh my God. That's a top tier feeling. And it's so rare for me because I never.

[A]

Bed sheets wherever you want.

[B]

It's so rare for me because I never wash my sheets.

[A]

You say you never do this, so it's. It's probably mythical.

[B]

Magic, bro. I'll put that at. Let me put it in the middle. Five bed sheets is five.

[A]

Bed sheets at five.

[B]

So I'll rank that one five.

[A]

Okay, here we go. Petting Ruby while intoxicated.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

No, that's. That is magical. That's damn near better than a lot of things this world can offer.

[B]

She. She's so warm.

[A]

Warm and small.

[B]

I'll put petting your dog when I'm intoxicated at. At seven. What? Yes.

[A]

What? Laying in fresh bed sheets is better than petting a Ruby when you're drunk.

[B]

That's tough for the second pick though, cuz I don't know what's coming next.

[A]

Wow. Okay, we're going to see. Yeah. This is crazy. Okay. Listening to your favorite music on a peaceful nighttime drive with the window down.

[B]

Oh my God. I'll put that at six.

[A]

You're saying all these. Okay. You. You have high hopes for.

[B]

I do. I buy hope.

[A]

We'll see. We'll see.

[B]

Music.

[A]

Okay. Music drive. Music drive.

[B]

Music drive. My music drives at six.

[A]

Okay. Waking up in the middle of the night and taking a sip of a room temp. Flat Diet Coke.

[B]

Oh, my. Oh, dude. I just. I might have just needed to change my pants. I'm not going to lie. I did that at home, bro. I chugged a liter. Here we go.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

It was like a. Like a half a liter.

[A]

So flat. Room temp DC at 3am oh, man.

[B]

I'll put that at 4. I'll put the Diet Coke in the middle of the night at 4.

[A]

Okay. Peeling off plastic from any brand new electronic 10. He hated that. He hated that. He hated that.

[B]

Does nothing for me.

[A]

Okay. Winning and hitting a parlay. When it came down to the last minute of the game.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

So the thrill is there. You're. You're so angry. Angst. Your.

[B]

Your.

[A]

Your blood is hot. Heartbeat going crazy, but you end up hitting the parlay.

[B]

I don't want to take up the 1, 2, and 3 spot, but I'll take.

[A]

You know, you don't know you.

[B]

I'll put. I'll put. I'll put that at three. I'll put the parlay three.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That isn't a. A feeling. I feel like I can conquer the world.

[A]

Okay, next one's a bit different, but here we go. A woman taking her clothes off in front of you.

[B]

Did I asked her to. Because sometimes that hap. Sometimes on tour, I would see it in the crowd and I said, God, I'm. I'm working.

[A]

No. Yes. A. A much, much asked. And yes, verbal. Yes. Woman removing her clothes.

[B]

I'll put that at 8. I got Twitter.

[A]

As of right now. A fresh bed. She spits in a naked woman.

[B]

There's got to be questions.

[A]

Oh, my God. All right, there's three left.

[B]

My 1, 2, and 9 are still available.

[A]

Okay. Holy. Here we go. Watching something hilarious happen to one of your close friends. Friends. Like a fumbling of the bag, stumbling on words in front of a female. Or maybe tripping and falling.

[B]

Oh, that's two. Oh. Anytime I can make fun of my loved ones, I am the happiest. I've made a career off of it.

[A]

You go. I literally capitalize.

[B]

Okay, I'll put that at number two. So I have one in nine available. God, this is not a good.

[A]

Such a. Such a thing. And you have no clue what's next. Okay. Whataburger. Eating hot, fresh water burger in your bed with your favorite show on after a night out on the town.

[B]

Oh, my God. Do I also have somebody on FaceTime?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, my God. We'll make it off if I can make ignoring somebody on FaceTime while I'm eating and watching a show. Yeah, I just want you to be there. Listen to me.

[A]

I just don't want to be a hundred percent.

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay. So ignoring someone on FaceTime time while biting into a hot, sweet and spicy with some Diet Coke. Favorite show on the TV after a night out.

[B]

I'll put that at nine, I'm confident. Putting that at nine. I'm confident because I don't know what number one is. You're.

[A]

You're like afraid of greatness. You're afraid of number one.

[B]

What is it? What a. Okay, okay.

[A]

And the last one.

[B]

This is my number one. I got to go with it.

[A]

The last one is the first sip of a perfectly smoked old Fashioned.

[B]

I'll take that at number one. That's old fashioned is number one.

[A]

Is that actually number one? Okay. No, exactly. So now, now that's your list first read it real quick.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Then change how you'd want.

[B]

This is my blind.

[A]

Blind ranking.

[B]

This is my blind ranking. It was old fashioned friend messing up parlay. Diet Coke in the middle of the night. Bed sheets, music on a drive. Ruby when you're inebriated, crazy. A naked woman. What a night with. If somebody ignored on FaceTime and opening plastic. I am confident. Plastic being thin.

[A]

Okay, so what would you change my number one? Yeah, let's. Now that you see everything and it's no longer blind, what is your number one most satisfying thing on this list? All the blindness is gone. You see it all in front of you. What's the number one most satisfying thing on that list?

[B]

My friend messing up.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, friend mess out at one.

[A]

Just write a one. Buy it. You're going to rerank. Write a one there. Write a ten at the bottom.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Or I guess it's still ten.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Number two.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

Number best thing after a friend messing up in front of you.

[B]

A diet. A Diet Coke in the middle of the night, A flat room temp Diet Coke. That's the second. Third would probably be Ruby when you're inebriated.

[A]

So so far, for, for all of our listeners and our viewers, we had have flat room temp, Diet coke, a fat dog when you're inebriated. And your friend messing up is all better debating than a naked woman in front of him. I love this. All right, what's four? Oh, man.

[B]

For would be an oldfashioned.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Five would be a parlay. Let's see here. What at night is good? Oh, I'm trying to see like what my body feels like.

[A]

Think. Oh, yeah. What is your body? Your body. You just said it. Best be honest.

[B]

Whataburger at night. No, no, I swear to you. Bed sheets. It's seven.

[A]

Oh my God. Is the woman staying at eight?

[B]

Music on a drive at eight helps with my anxiety. I swear to you. And that nine would be a woman. What's she gonna do for me? Just look at you know what I mean? Okay, that's my new list.

[A]

That's the final list right there. Oh, my God. Give it up for P. Blind ranking of satisfaction.

[B]

I'm not helping the allegations. I'm not helping the allegations.

[A]

Holy shit. That was funny. I appreciate you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

For following along.

[B]

Okay, Cam, get us out of here.

[A]

All right, everybody. Thank you for coming Back to episode 142 of the you should know podcast. We absolutely love and adore each and every one of you. We tell you every single week. But we really, really mean it. Love you mean it.

[B]

We do.

[A]

Anything you need is in the description below. Patreon is getting a whole new look. It's getting a whole new rewired. And it's going to be fantastic. And it is made to blow yalls minds. Starting this January, there's going to be different tiers, there's going to be different segments, there's going to be different games, there's going to be more episodes. Extra episodes. What's the word I'm looking for?

[B]

Uncensored and ad free.

[A]

Uncensored and ad free episodes. There's going to be so much more on Patreon that is linked in the description below. So is the Facebook, the Twitch, discord. Everything. Everything you need to know is right below. Go ahead and like the video comment. Leave it. Share it with your biggest hater, your friend, your aunt and your grandpa.

[B]

I'll give you a secret to what's coming on Patreon. For a Patreon only episode, we're gonna do a lot of those. Patreon only episode parents are coming on.

[A]

That is gonna be spicy. But until then, make sure you come back next week. Episode 143. Same spot, same time. Confuse the casuals. Get your good karma with this week's secret code.

[B]

And a Dr. P is already out. Episode two. I know y'all love that.

[A]

Yes, that is out on Patreon right now. Came out last Friday. Friday. Go over to the Patreon. Watch that. Confused casuals get your good karma this week. Secret code TMD.

[B]

Too much Disney?

[A]

Nope. 10 million Disney. Utter nonsense. If you buy it, I'd slap you, but we still love you.

[B]

All right, guys, we love you so much. Please share this podcast with your friends. We love this community. Let's build this community. Let's grow it. Let's have more people in it, because we all take care of each other and we love each other. So remember, remember, one out of ten koala bears don't make it home to Christmas. And we'll see you.

[A]

Hello?

[B]

Next time.

[A]

No. Yeah. There's not a $10 million ticket.

[B]

I think it's worth it. No. Shot in hell I saw a High School Musical parade.

[A]

You better give me a corn dog.