WE WALKED IN ON A CRIME SCENE! -You Should Know Podcast-

Summary

You Should Know Podcast - Episode 135: "WE WALKED IN ON A CRIME SCENE!"

Hosted by Peyton Hardin and Cammon Kennedy from Wood Elf Media, Episode 135 of the "You Should Know Podcast" dives into a mix of hilarious personal anecdotes, heated debates, and intriguing stories that keep listeners entertained and engaged. Released on October 21, 2024, this episode promises a delightful blend of humor and candid conversations between best friends.

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1. Introduction and Setting the Tone

The episode kicks off with Peyton Hardin welcoming listeners back to the podcast, teasing upcoming spooky season content and a special Halloween episode. The hosts share their excitement about new setups, including a fourth camera and a surprise guest slated for the next episode.

2. The Upholstery Incident and Wrestling Debates

Early in the episode (04:06), Peyton and Cammon engage in playful banter about Cammon accidentally damaging Peyton's couch with a screwdriver. This leads to a humorous yet detailed discussion about the differences between a half nelson and a full nelson, showcasing their dynamic friendship and knack for turning mishaps into comedic exchanges.

Notable Quote:

Cammon ([04:24]): "If you bring any tools, power tools, weapons of mass destruction or anything in the slice, don't have those. And you use it on my couch again, you will be put in a half nelson on camera in front of the audience."

3. Clarifying Canceling vs. Rescheduling

A significant portion of the episode revolves around a spirited debate between the hosts about the nuances of canceling versus rescheduling appointments (07:29). Their back-and-forth highlights Peyton's analytical approach and Cammon's more laid-back perspective, illustrating how they navigate disagreements with humor and respect.

Notable Quote:

Peyton ([11:05]): "Canceling is saying, hey, I'm not going to this appointment. And I have no further means of saying when the next one is."

Cammon ([12:27]): "But she canceled her original appointment."

4. CJ's Quirky Bathroom Habits

One of the standout segments features Peyton recounting their roommate CJ's bizarre bathroom behavior (15:20). From open bathroom doors to producing "nuclear power" in his butthole, the story is delivered with vivid descriptions and lots of laughter, painting a clear picture of CJ's eccentricities.

Notable Quote:

Peyton ([18:16]): "Cj, your ass produces nuclear power. You could break the second if you drop a shit from a plane."

5. Navigating Healthy Eating – A Target Run Gone Awry

Peyton shares a relatable and amusing story about attempting to switch to a healthier diet by following the choices of athletic individuals in a Target store (56:19). The misadventures of selecting plant-based nuggets and sweet glazed carrots culminate in Cammon laughing at Peyton's unconventional meal choices.

Notable Quote:

Cammon ([56:36]): "He goes, are you just gonna put your chipotle in that bowl? He goes, oh, no, no, no."

6. Robot Revolutions and Technological Fears

The conversation takes a speculative turn as the hosts delve into the potential threats posed by advancing robotics and AI (81:35). Peyton envisions creating a robot army named Thornton, while Cammon expresses genuine concern about robots gaining autonomy and posing dangers reminiscent of sci-fi scenarios.

Notable Quote:

Cammon ([87:18]): "I'm telling you, this shit's gonna get real close to Will Smith's hit movie."

Peyton ([89:05]): "Why can't they be loving and accepting? Because you're the race of robots. You're like, they're angry."

7. Pop Culture Analysis – Outer Banks and Stranger Things

In the "Pop Culture" segment towards the end (90:40), Peyton and Cammon critique their favorite TV shows, focusing on continuity errors and plot developments. Peyton praises "Outer Banks" for its adventurous spirit but criticizes its unrealistic elements, while Cammon laments the delays in "Stranger Things" season releases due to high production demands.

Notable Quote:

Peyton ([91:08]): "If you sign the lease to a murder apartment, I'm saying."

Cammon ([93:00]): "How does no one see that?"

8. Closing Remarks and Upcoming Teasers

As the episode wraps up, Peyton and Cammon tease upcoming content, including a Halloween special and a conspiracy theory episode available on Patreon. They encourage listeners to engage with them on various platforms and express their excitement for future episodes.

Notable Quote:

Cammon ([99:12]): "Appreciate you coming back to episode 135, and we cannot wait to see you next week for the very spooky, very special Halloween special edition episode 136."

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Conclusion: Episode 135 of the "You Should Know Podcast" is a testament to Peyton Hardin and Cammon Kennedy's chemistry and ability to transform everyday stories into engaging and humorous narratives. From quirky roommate tales to debates on modern technology, the hosts provide a relatable and entertaining experience for their audience. Whether you're a long-time listener or new to the podcast, this episode offers a rich blend of laughter, insightful discussions, and memorable moments that highlight why Peyton and Cammon have become beloved voices in the podcasting world.

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For those interested in more behind-the-scenes content, exclusive episodes, and interactive segments, consider supporting the podcast on Patreon and joining their vibrant community across Facebook, Twitch, and Discord.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

The you should know podcast. Hey everybody, welcome back to the you should Know podcast episode 135. Round of applause please. Hey everybody, welcome back to the you should Know podcast episode 135. If you're new here, if you haven't already, you look below, you see the subscribe button. Is it pressed? You're wrong. If you look even more below that and you see the conversations are fulfilled with your name, guess what? Even more wrong. Go and fill that out. If you're an audio listener, you can't see this right now, but the set is in spooky season. It's fourth camera. We got it back there, we got it behind us. And next week is the Halloween episode. So you know, co host Cam and I will be in our spooky season costumes. And now that we have a fourth camera, the fourth camera will be in their spooky season. And we have a special guest for the Halloween episode. And you will be able to see this beautiful, beautiful thing, this beautiful surprise we have for you next week. But it is a new week here, so be sure to hit the subscribe button, hit the bell button. The live show that we toured is still available. It'll be available for the rest of the time of the whole world that we are still here. It's going to be the top of the link in the description as well as Patreon, Facebook, Twitch, Discord, Shout out to the watch party and we have a merch drop coming on Black Friday. We love you so much. Get into that spooky damn season. We love you. And now on to the rest of the episode. This episode is brought to you by Manscaped, the global leader in men's lifestyle and grooming. Every man knows the unbeatable feeling of a fresh barbershop shave. Now what if I told you that you no longer have to wait weeks or even months between appointments to experience it.

[B]

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[A]

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[A]

Rest of the episode, the you should know podcast. We got co host Cam back in the studio.

[B]

Okay, you're doing. No, no, no, no. Silence it now. If you ever do that again. If you ever stab my upholstery again.

[A]

Your what with that?

[B]

Upholstery.

[A]

Upholstery.

[B]

The.

[A]

Like a chicken poultry upholstery. So one chicken upholstery.

[B]

Couches, linen fabrics. Is that a real saying for someone that thinks they're a wizard in English, It's a very real saying. Regardless, if you bring any tools, power tools, weapons of mass destruction or anything in the slice, don't have those. And you use it on my couch again, you will be put in a half nelson on camera in front of the audience.

[A]

Now tell me the difference between a half and a full.

[B]

You do halfway. It's a heads a half grab Nelson, you choke him out.

[A]

But is there one less or more painful?

[B]

More painful.

[A]

Which one?

[B]

Half nelson's easier to get into. Full nelson's more painful. Oh, jv. Like a great value.

[A]

CJ played JV basketball till his senior year.

[B]

No, he did not. No, he did not. Hey, if there was a bro, if you're a senior playing any jv.

[A]

Stop. No, don't do that.

[B]

No. I love you to death.

[A]

No, stop. But that's not even that bad what I did to your couch. It's not that bad.

[B]

You literally murdered.

[A]

You can just pull it. Pull it out. Okay.

[B]

Are we doomed? It can no one ever sit. Oh, my God.

[A]

Someone sits on there, they're getting a screw up there.

[B]

Bottom or not a lobotomy.

[A]

That's in the. My grandpa got one of those. He did It's a fact. He did because he wrote left handed. It's. It's back when we didn't have too many rights, if you know what I mean.

[B]

They said, oh, you got a headach. My grandpa doesn't know your grandpa, though. But let's talk about this.

[A]

Yeah. We're down a screwdriver, first off.

[B]

Faulty screwdriver, down screwdriver. If you're gonna stab something, you're gonna leave evidence. Make it sturdy. What the. What is this? What is. This is a knob.

[A]

You're lucky.

[B]

Pleasure.

[A]

Something. I went on the Internet. Normally that's where you get things, where.

[B]

Everyone goes to get anything.

[A]

And so I went on the Internet. I was trying to get one of those Elon Musk flamethrowers and I was going to do like that and like slow roast your couch, but then it took too long to ship. They're not really readily available to get, and we might have gotten evicted from here.

[B]

Bingo. So let's see. To hell with the shipping, to hell with the quantity of what's in inventory. You wanted to set my couch on fire in a corporate building in downtown Dallas. You wanted to start an open flame. Yeah, an open. We have wires, we have XLR cables, we have mics. We have a lot of electronics.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And you. You thought it'd be a. Just a brilliant idea to go and just toast.

[A]

Would it not be athletic? Aesthetically athletic? Would it not be aesthetically pleasing to see it ablaze?

[B]

One, it'd be hot as shit, hotter than it already is. Two, I wouldn't have a couch. What would I sit on? We're going to be partners.

[A]

No. One day we're going to get to the point where you're sitting on the ground while we're recording.

[B]

I am telling all this now. I'm never shooting an episode while my ass is on concrete, is on a. On a sin and spit stained rug. I'm never sitting on it.

[A]

How was your. How's your week, bubba? How are you doing? How you feeling? You've done a lot this week, but I don't know if we were getting into that, but get into something fun that we care about.

[B]

Okay. Can I just start with a story? Can I just get straight into.

[A]

Well, I love your stories. You had a great story last week with the Starbucks.

[B]

Oh, my God, it was a hilarious story. So you were. You were there for that? You weren't here for this one?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I don't know if you've seen it yet. Long story short, we went to a OB appointment, went to a baby appointment and on the way back.

[A]

Ob.

[B]

OB gyn. Not sure. Lot. Hell of a.

[A]

That's where you get your. Not. That's where you get your cooter scraped. What's it called?

[B]

For lack of better terms. That's where scraping of cooters happened. For a lack of better terms. After they scraped some coochie.

[A]

Yeah. No, but my mom told me. My mom told me that.

[B]

Your mom told you she went to an OB GYN and got her cooters scraped?

[A]

No, she didn't say.

[B]

You sure you want that as your digital footprint? You sure you. You and your mom's story of this. This mutual understanding is where people go to get cooters.

[A]

No, she wasn't telling me about her cooter. She was saying just. Women's cooters and generals get scraped out of obgyn. They get their cells.

[B]

Keep going. Can they get their cells? What?

[A]

And I'm pretty. They scraped out. They scraped their cells out.

[B]

Shovel in there. What do you mean, scrape?

[A]

No.

[B]

You know an ice pick?

[A]

No. You know the little scraper tool they use the dentist when you get your plaque out? I thought it was that.

[B]

So we're stabbing vagina?

[A]

No, no, we're scraping it. Well, I'm not, but the OBGYN is.

[B]

Okay. That is where you go for your baby appointments. They put some gel.

[A]

You don't have to have a baby to go to eat ob gyn.

[B]

I. I believe that's true.

[A]

I don't know. I know that. No, I know.

[B]

I don't know. Actually, I don't know.

[A]

You are really uneducated in, like, a common world.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

You're. You are, like, in that matters. You're uneducated in.

[B]

You just said an OB GYN is where people go to get their cooters scraped.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All the women of the you should know podcast happens.

[A]

Maybe I said that in the wrong way, but. Yes or no? They put their legs up on the. On the right. They do. It's a science. Grow up.

[B]

What is it called?

[A]

They're the OB gyn. No.

[B]

What is that? That thing called? No, you said it before and you didn't know what it was.

[A]

Oh, yeah, no, I associated with the. With the taste of a Diet Coke. What is that called? Help me, because I keep want to Saying pap smear. That's where they get their pap smears done you, bro.

[B]

Oh, my God. I can't. Oh, my God.

[A]

So what happened at the.

[B]

At the cooter Scraper.

[A]

At the cooter scraper.

[B]

So we went to the cooter scraper. Everything was good. All as well. We go to leave, right? Yeah. So after that, we were supposed to go to her lash appointment next.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

During Liv's pregnancy, she's been canceling a lot of things. She's like, I'm too tired. Not going. I'm too. I don't feel good. Not going. Which I understand kind of. But it's like, be a woman of your word. If you're going to go to something, go to it. So we go to this last appointment. On the way to it, she calls, cancels. Right then and there she. Then she's like, hey, I'll come next Saturday.

[A]

Okay. So she rescheduled it?

[B]

I mean, yes, but she said she canceled her appointment.

[A]

No, cancel. She rescheduled it. There's a difference between canceling and rescheduling. You're trying to make your wife look bad, and I'm here to save her because she's not here.

[B]

I love my wife, and she always looks good. She canceled her original appointment.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

Then rescheduled.

[A]

There's two different things. That's why they're. Cam, we're not gonna do this. Your.

[B]

Your favorite saying of all times. Two things can be right at once. She canceled.

[A]

They can be.

[B]

This is one of them.

[A]

No, this isn't. That's why there's two different things. Canceling and rescheduling.

[B]

Okay, break down the science.

[A]

Canceling is. I'm not going to this appointment. And I have no further. Like, I have no further means of saying when the next one is. I. Rescheduling is saying, hey, this appointment that is originally here is not going to be here is going to be this day. That's a reschedule. And that's what she did. Yes or no?

[B]

She rescheduled after confirming her cancellation of the appointment.

[A]

No, that would be, hey, I'm going to cancel, and I'm not going to tell you when my next appointment is. Wait a couple of days, and then I'm going to reschedule. She. She rescheduled on the phone?

[B]

Yes, she said.

[A]

So she rescheduled it. She didn't cancel it.

[B]

She can't. If you have something at 10 o'clock and you don't show up, you say, hey, I'm not going to be able to make it, but I can come Wednesday.

[A]

That's rescheduling.

[B]

But you canceled.

[A]

No, it's not. Canceling.

[B]

Holy shit.

[A]

Canceling. That's. Why. Have you ever been on a booking website like when you book an appointment and it says. And it's. And you go to your appointment, it says cancel or reschedule. There's a difference. That's why they're on booking.

[B]

With rescheduling is your. It's in the words. You are rescheduled.

[A]

You're rescheduling. Yes, you are scheduled. You're rescheduling.

[B]

Scheduling once more.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

If you cancel, cancel. Why would you reschedule? That's almost like a secondary.

[A]

So say you're on your Netflix, right? Yes, say you're on your Netflix. There is a difference between canceling your Netflix, right? And then changing the tier of your Netflix. Instead of paying 1499 for the HD Premium plus, you just want to go to standard HD. That's changing it. That's not canceling it.

[B]

When did we start talking about movies and documentary?

[A]

Because I'm putting it into perspective for you, but that's.

[B]

That you just had change that appointment.

[A]

That is a changing of a point.

[B]

If you have a haircut at 10 o'clock on a Wednesday and I rescheduled to 11 and not. No, no, she rescheduled four days later.

[A]

That's a reschedule. Doesn't matter when it is scheduled.

[B]

But she canceled her o'clock.

[A]

No, she. No, she rescheduled it. No, she just plain out rescheduled it. Okay, tell me how it's not a reschedule and it's just a cancel.

[B]

I'm going to ask you questions first because I was going to speak, but you cut me off. If you have a haircut, right, at 10 and you don't go and you say, hey, I'm not coming, that's different.

[A]

Do I. Do I just not show up to my haircut or do I call ahead of time?

[B]

If you ahead of time by an hour on the same day, yes, it's rescheduling it. That sucks. And that's a cancel.

[A]

I didn't say. I didn't say it was. It was convenient.

[B]

Okay, so to reschedule, right? To reschedule. Do both appointments still stay alive?

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

So if she had an appointment at 10 and she gets another one at 10, three days later, are they both still active? Appointments for who?

[A]

For her.

[B]

Oh, don't you. Don't you. For her? Are they both selective?

[A]

No.

[B]

No. So what happened to this one?

[A]

She was rescheduled for her.

[B]

Holy shit.

[A]

You can't go to macro when we were talking about Liv.

[B]

The reschedule is the newer one.

[A]

She rescheduled is what I'M saying, so.

[B]

What happened to her OG appointment opened back up. Which means what?

[A]

It got rescheduled.

[B]

In terms of live, she rescheduled. Holy shit.

[A]

In terms of live, she rescheduled. Yes or no?

[B]

To reschedule something, you redo it. So what happens to the og? You did what to it? Is it just vacant?

[A]

No, you rescheduled.

[B]

There's another synonym for vacant in terms of an appointment.

[A]

If we have a meeting, right? And I say, hey, I'm feeling sick, let's reschedule the meeting. I'm not just going to say, hey, There's a difference between, hey, I just want to cancel this meeting. If you cancel something, there is no plan.

[B]

Where does it say that in Webster's. Where does it say that? That to cancel. You can't think about the saying.

[A]

If you cancel something, there is no plan of further action.

[B]

Doc, if you were sick, and that.

[A]

Is what canceling is.

[B]

And you. Holy shit. That's the definition of canceling.

[A]

There's no plans of further action. If you cancel something, where does it say that? That's just the definition. The street definition.

[B]

Oh, the streets. Oh, we're going by the hood Bible. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You said that. No, not me. You said that.

[A]

You're wrong.

[B]

I said from the.

[A]

In the comments, right now, the jump.

[B]

Two things can be right at the same time.

[A]

I said that in the comments. Put it out. Don't those. They'll say don't.

[B]

Oh, don't agree with you, Harvard. Harvard Little. I couldn't get anything.

[A]

If you're confident in this. If you're confident, let's make a wager and we both have to abide by it.

[B]

What's the wager?

[A]

Shake my hand before it is.

[B]

Hell no.

[A]

It'll be horrible. It'll be even.

[B]

It'll be even. No shot in Hill.

[A]

But you're not. I'm coming. You can literally just say, set your right foot on fire. I'll be okay, cuz I know I'm right.

[B]

See, but I still told you beforehand. I didn't say shake before. Yeah, tell me before.

[A]

It doesn't matter. I'm just saying it doesn't matter what it is.

[B]

Tell me before and I might shake.

[A]

Okay. Loser shaves her head.

[B]

Nope. No, I got a big head. I can't do that, dog. I can't. I cannot leave my skull.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, my God. You're waking up a pink eye. Oh, my go. Your mouth's open. Close your. Close your mouth. Close your mouth. You just shit and then you went.

[A]

You know what's weird? Can I put this out there that.

[B]

You shit and open your mouth after?

[A]

No, people that shit with the door.

[B]

Open do that often.

[A]

That's so weird, cuz. Cj. Yo, CJ lives with me, right? He's downstairs. And if you know cj, and we said it on Patreon, if you know cj, his butthole is toxic, bro.

[B]

Can clear an environment.

[A]

He can shit outside in a park and everybody will smell hundred percent.

[B]

The dogs will just keel over. Those go.

[A]

And so. And I've been wondering since my six months of living with that freak bag. I'm in the second floor. He's downstairs. I'm playing the game. He's. I know he's. I can smell it. And I'm like, dude, that's not good. With a closed door and event running, why can't I smell it? And I've brought this up to him before and he just like, laughs it off. But then the other day, CJ goes, I'm gonna go take a. And I'm like, okay. I'm upstairs playing the game. He goes, pee, pee. I said, what? He goes, man, I forgot. I said, forgot what?

[B]

What'd you forget?

[A]

He goes, man, I. I forgot toilet paper. So you throw me down some. I said, ah, all right. I go to the. I go, I go. I go to the pantry, I get the toilet paper.

[B]

Pantry.

[A]

Where do you keep your toilet paper?

[B]

A hall closet or a linen cloth?

[A]

You.

[B]

Your toilet paper's in your pantry?

[A]

Yeah, it's under the.

[B]

That is fascinating. You have Sun Chips and TP in the same building.

[A]

Where are you supposed to store your teepee?

[B]

It put in the laundry room before your pantry.

[A]

How is that more normal than the pantry?

[B]

It's not too weird. It's just a little strange. A little strange.

[A]

I think majority of people keep their toilet paper in the pantry.

[B]

I would argue the to differ. I would absolutely not agree with that statement. I would put money that that statement does not hold.

[A]

No. 100% no. Because I keep my paper towels and my toilet paper in there. It's all my towel papers. It's all my papers and towels.

[B]

You have a big vast pantry, then some people don't have that luxury.

[A]

Your house is big.

[B]

Some. My pantry is designed for Potter and Dob.

[A]

Strange.

[B]

Strange pantry, weird pantry. Back to it. You get your toilet paper, I go.

[A]

To the pantry, I go get the toilet paper. And I'm going downstairs and I see a. A light in the hallway. And I'm like, why is the Bathroom light so prominent with the door closed.

[B]

Is Christ in there helping him?

[A]

I look over, and CJ's big ass, calves, and forearm are just s. I'm like, why do I see him? I say, yo, see, you got the door open. He goes, yeah. Like I'm the idiot. He goes, yeah. And I go, why? It's weird. And he goes, you don't do it. He goes, everybody does. I'm just. This is a normal thing.

[B]

I've been like, no, I don't do it, cj.

[A]

Like, that is you.

[B]

Holy. The fan wasn't on, was it?

[A]

No.

[B]

You with the door open and fan off.

[A]

Are you scared of goblins?

[B]

That is invasive. Is.

[A]

Dude, that's wrong. And it's, like, a little rude.

[B]

That is. That is objectively wrong. That is objectively wrong.

[A]

Yeah. You are disrespectful in the third.

[B]

And that bitch travels.

[A]

Cj, you stink like hell, bro. Cj. Cj, your ass produces nuclear power. You could break the second if you drop a shit from a plane. You know what I mean, cj, you.

[B]

That is bullshit.

[A]

You. That's wrong.

[B]

Deserve consequences.

[A]

And reproductive eating. Chipotle on the second floor.

[B]

Oh, where?

[A]

The kitchen.

[B]

And he's shitting his chipotle out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Door open. Vent off, forearms.

[A]

Cj, you're wrong. And you belong in hell, dog. I'm not gonna lie. When you go up, when your time is done, when your calendar is expired on your coffin. No.

[B]

Oh, what?

[A]

And your spirit goes up to the heavenly father and you see those gates? You know what he's gonna do, CJ?

[B]

God does this.

[A]

CJ. First of all, I don't think CJ's is real. No one's name is CJ. Like, that stands, right? His name is Cornelius. It's something. Cornelius Jr. No. Son of Cornelius.

[B]

No, no, no. What, have we found out this whole time, names like Christian or something? Would we start calling him that?

[A]

100 punch him in the mouth. Yeah.

[B]

If you lied that long. No, his name is actually spelt cj. Never seen God bless you.

[A]

It's a cj.

[B]

Sick.

[A]

You don't see black, huh? Aren't you. What you got black in? You know.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

You should know. Podcast. This episode is brought to you by our friends at pds.

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[A]

On to the rest of the episode. Fun fact. We were driving past a homeless person one time, and it was like 110 degrees in Texas. Cam rolled down his window, goes, yeah, we're all hot, and kept driving.

[B]

I did not say that. I did not say that. I did not. I did drive past a homeless man whose sign literally read, I will take anything. Just hungry. Praise be to God or something. At the bottom right, I roll. This is going to the studio. Roll down my window. I hold out my snack of the day, a banana. The guy looks at me and goes, I said, you're not that hungry, pal. The banana's great. Potassium, good food, everything.

[A]

Speaking of potassium, I said potassium till I was 13. I didn't realize that's how you said that word, potassium. I said potassium. I was 13.

[B]

Did that ever even sound right to you?

[A]

Yeah, because.

[B]

Anyone in your household ever say potassium?

[A]

No, just me. But also, you know, my family, they were very open with my exploration and finding things out in life, so. So I said, potassium. Potassium. Potassium. I was like, give me that banana with that pot. It's good. Like, my mom would be. She would break things down like this. She'd be like, why are you putting on sunscreen, Peyton? I'll be like, so I don't get skin cancer. And then she'd be like, why are you eating this banana? The pot of.

[B]

See a minute.

[A]

And I was 13, dog. I had pubes.

[B]

Yeah. Why you talk. Yeah, you already. You stink like hell. You got pubes. You're probably fiddling down there a little bit.

[A]

That's crazy. But crazy.

[B]

That's a wild thing. That's natural. You were 13. You're past fiddling. 13. You're.

[A]

Well, I don't want to have this conversation. I don't. So strange.

[B]

You know, at 13, you weren't just Figuring out yourself. You were figuring out.

[A]

No, wasn't. What? What? Grader.

[B]

Holy shit.

[A]

What grade are you in? 13.

[B]

13. Freshman year of high school.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

You said you were swapping spit on the back of field trip buses in the fifth grade. No, brother, in the fifth grade, I was trading Bakugan.

[A]

We had different. We had.

[B]

We had a lot of different shit going.

[A]

Cars. So you bring up cars. And I had a car thing, right? Yeah. There's a lot of construction outside my house or building. Like, a bunch of stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And there's a bunch of cars that have been parked there since the beginning of this construction, and they haven't moved. And it's been months. Yesterday I saw a cop go by and put these big pink stickers on these cars saying, hey, if you don't.

[B]

Move your vehicle, we're taking it.

[A]

You're getting towed, impounded. It was a windy day outside, though, right? So I was driving past these cars with the stickers on them, and the stickers are going, like, about to fly off. Then my brain started going, right? I said, now, in a normal world, if you don't. If you see your parking ticket, you take it, and you don't pay that, you eventually get a warrant, you're going to jail. Right. My question is, if it's a windy day and the parking meter attendant person in slacks and a bright colored vest sticks a sticker of a notice of my inevitable impounding of my car, they put a ticket on my car and it flies away. And I never see that. And the next time I get pulled over, I'm going to Rikers.

[B]

You're going to jail.

[A]

How does that work?

[B]

That's. It's bs, but that's the system.

[A]

Is that a fact?

[B]

That is a fact. Because they're doing it in their system. So regardless of the wind took it. That's. That literally sucks.

[A]

There's no way that it can be legal.

[B]

New adhesive.

[A]

That can't be legal.

[B]

But it's just like Amazon delivery. You can't.

[A]

You know I don't trust Amazon.

[B]

Yeah, I know. That's why I'm saying it. You can't tell me I didn't deliver your package if I put it on your doorstep, in my system, clicked everything's good, and took a picture of it.

[A]

Okay, That's. The picture is the different thing.

[B]

But they probably took a picture of it.

[A]

But if. But that's different when it's a legality matter. Whenever I could go to prison. Like, that's not right.

[B]

So I don't think you're going to.

[A]

Prison if you don't pay your. You don't pay your tickets. You get a warrant for your arrest.

[B]

But that doesn't immediately go to prison.

[A]

But it's a warrant for an arrest.

[B]

Mean that's first off, that's tickets. If it's your first time offense. They're not going to put my first time offense.

[A]

I'm just saying in general, if you have a stack of tickets right. And you don't pay, pay them.

[B]

So now it's a stack. I'm saying it was a singular piece.

[A]

Can you have converse?

[B]

We, we are having discourse.

[A]

Can we say something? The Hoopers that hooped in Converse, they have like CTE of the legs.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

Like little Chamberlain.

[B]

They get like, like Kenny the Jet Smith. I'm sorry. That was so bad.

[A]

His.

[B]

Oh my God. I know. Their, their toes are probably numb.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

24 7.

[A]

It's disgusting. But, but I still with the parking tickets, I don't get that. I don't think that should be fair and legal.

[B]

It's unfortunate.

[A]

And I will, I will write a letter to the mayor.

[B]

Yeah. You're going to be paid away. Then you're going to. You're going to start a union for, for parking fine. For parking. What would this be? Come join my union of parking fine recipients due to bad weather inclination, unfairness group.

[A]

Exactly. That's what you're going to wtioness.

[B]

That shit is not going anywhere and you're going to lose funding.

[A]

And I'm just saying it just doesn't make sense. I don't think it's fair in the legal system.

[B]

It's not fair. There's a lot of shit that's not fair in the legal.

[A]

Oh, you tell me. How do you feel when you set the lights behind you? You're like, oh God.

[B]

I'm like, inconvenience. I go, really? Bastard. How do you feel? No, no, we can't.

[A]

We can't. Okay. What's up?

[B]

Oh, hey. Your brain is firing.

[A]

It's firing.

[B]

Oh my God. Okay. The other night in my house, days over. We're going to bed. How many square feet in my house days over. We're going to bed. Right, Right. You're a bastard. We're going to bed. I get. Stop it. I get in the bed. I get in my nice cozy deep pocket memory foam California. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I get in my regular ass king bed. It has a nice match top. I lay down. My wife goes, I gotta go pee.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

I Go. All right, but I'm scrolling through my phone.

[A]

Yeah, sorry.

[B]

To live. No, I didn't hear her. Really? I'm doom scrolling. You don't.

[A]

You don't listen to your wife.

[B]

You don't get my attention.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

At all. No attention.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm just going through take.

[A]

Big problem, your household.

[B]

She goes, I got a pee. She goes, okay. All of a sudden, I just hear.

[A]

What'S that?

[B]

That is my wife pissing. And it sounded like Rubik's cubes. It sounded like someone was about to fry some chicken dog. It sounded like cast. Like grease in a pan. It was like I said, who's making chicken? I said, who's chewing on gristle back there? It literally was like, okay. It has nothing to do with her skin. And it sounded exactly like frying some chicken wings with a couple sides of some collard greens. Mm.

[A]

Mm. I'm gonna let you rock out.

[B]

Stop it.

[A]

You.

[B]

Hey. You invite me to these dark places, and then you don't have my back. That's what happens.

[A]

Did you ever figure out why God. Oh. Did you ever figure why her piss was chicken?

[B]

Said she held it too long. And I said, that doesn't bring heat to your urine. But we're gonna wrap this all up.

[A]

I think I could pass a kidney stone quick. I don't want one.

[B]

You have a big urethra.

[A]

I think I have a wide body penis. Like, they put a wide body kit on my shit. Like, God. Was like, aftermarket penis.

[B]

It was the base model. Then there was upgrades on it.

[A]

You do you really have a big urethra? You ever seen. You ever seen a can of chicken noodle soup? Campbell's? You ever seen Chef Boyardee roll down the aisle?

[B]

That's how you're rolling in that bed at night?

[A]

No, just rolling in my pants. But tell me what you're gonna say.

[B]

I was gonna say to cap the night thing, right? She was peeing. I don't know. That was bad. To cap the night story. Going to sleep at night. She was peeing. And then she gets up, she does her whole skincare shit, right? I look in her spot, she's wearing. Or she has a moomoo seated there.

[A]

Okay. A moomoo, for those that don't know is a night.

[B]

It's like a big nightgown. Like a sleep shirt, right? Yes or no? Curiosity struck the cat.

[A]

Mm.

[B]

I put the mumu on. I was laying in bed.

[A]

You're really creepy.

[B]

Shirtless pantless. Just. Mike. My thong. My thong. My red panty Night thong. I put the mumu on. It is Peyton. It is unbelievably soft and it's the greatest.

[A]

It's like a dress, bro.

[B]

It is the greatest.

[A]

It's cheetah print.

[B]

No, it's so soft. Some of them have pockets. And I literally said, I'm going to go to bed in this. I went to sleep in it. I woke up the next day. Yeah, I liked it so much. Yeah, I wore it here today. I have it on under my check. It is so soft, dog. And the best part is it's so good and I love it so much. I got you one.

[A]

What the.

[B]

Put your moomoo on, dog. And we're gonna rock out in moo moos and God. I'll take my. Thank you later.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Oh, wait. Yeah, you could take your pants off. Be careful. You're going quick. Where's that old. Where's that old snake? Yeah, you got a rock out in the moomoo. They are so damn good, bro. You gotta take the shirt off. You might want to get off camera, please.

[A]

Just put a sensor. All righty. Yo, this is the softest piece of manufacture, bro.

[B]

You'll take. Oh. Oh, you Ghibli bits. Oh, you ghibli bits.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

That snake was coming up. That was coming to proud.

[A]

Yo. What is going on?

[B]

Oh, God, it's so. Oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

You look like the wolf when it's in the thing from that movie. What movie is that? Oh, my God, is this Shrek? When the wolf is always wearing a nightgown, like cooking. Oh, my God. Tell me that.

[A]

So soft. You. You sleep in these now?

[B]

Oh, my God, they're so good, bro. Oh, yeah. Attack. There you go.

[A]

Yo, this. Thank you for this gift. This is fantastic. I feel so vulnerable right now. Like, I feel like if I go like this.

[B]

Put a sensor bar your johnson here. You might want to tuck.

[A]

Yeah, this is. This is.

[B]

Oh, we could do that like a lady. Like a true lady.

[A]

I'm having so much hard. I'm having such a hard time finding love and this is not helping. I'm in a dress.

[B]

Hey, invite. Invite a beautiful young lady over and say, hey, I have a moomoo collection. Are you laughing at me?

[A]

You don't look right.

[B]

You look like. You look like a grandma.

[A]

You look like the guy from Split in one of his personalities. Like this. This is insane.

[B]

He is an amazing actor, though.

[A]

He's. Okay, okay.

[B]

The hell with that. Talk about it. Do you like your moomoo?

[A]

I feel like I could wake up and make the meanest breakfast my life.

[B]

Scrambled eggs, my cakes on the backside, just wiggling from a man.

[A]

Like, I feel like I'm gonna wake up in the morning, start cooking breakfast, and a grown man is gonna walk by me, just smack my grass while.

[B]

He'S filling up, like, his yeti of, like, coffee. Yeah.

[A]

Dude, this is. This is nice. I thank you for this gift.

[B]

You're welcome. You're welcome.

[A]

The fact that. Now let me. Let me investigate you for a little bit.

[B]

Yeah. Here's where it gets, dude.

[A]

So you were in your bed with your wife.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You saw her moomoo. You saw her nightgown.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Laying on the bed.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

And you in your mind said, I want that on my body willingly. Then you kept it on your body.

[B]

I went to bed in it.

[A]

Then you got to the point where saying, I enjoyed that so much, I want to see another 6, 7 grown man in it. And then I want to do that in front of thousands of people.

[B]

That's exactly how it went down. Exactly.

[A]

Hey, I thank you so much for this. This means a lot to me.

[B]

Hey, one time for the moomoos. For everybody that wears moomoos. C.J. pierce, you're next.

[A]

But I think about your household. Right? No, I can't take myself serious. What is my ass out. Oh, I have a. I have a. I have a thought process. We all do.

[B]

Yeah, we got them. Some days.

[A]

I have a thought, and I was thinking about your house. And one of the only things I like about you and your family is your dog.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I love your dog. I love Ruby.

[B]

You love her to death. If Ruby died, you would be hurt.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And I was thinking about dogs. Just dogs in general. Like, I want a dog. I love dogs. They're great creatures. They're the gift to the earth from God.

[B]

There we go. Now we're talking.

[A]

I think dogs might be aliens, though, if we think about it. Did you know that dogs can smell cancer?

[B]

Animals. It's crazy to me that we're still widely and vastly on top of the food chain like that. Yeah, we can't sniff cancer, but we got thumbs.

[A]

That's a fact. Okay, but what do you think it would take for a dog to beat us in the top of the food chain? Maybe a good thumb.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

If.

[B]

Doc. No, they don't. They don't have thumbs. They have dew claws. It's called a duke.

[A]

The thing on their. On their. On their. So what do you think would. What?

[B]

We think they have no Shot in hell?

[A]

No, not at all. Maybe they stood on two legs. They.

[B]

First off, they can't even follow their back with grace. They all go on their back and they go. And they try to freak out, get on the front there. They're not. They're not stable. They don't. They're honestly not that smart. Some dogs are very.

[A]

You can smell cancer. I can barely see. Like, whenever walking past an upgrade when I'm. When I'm walking past the cafeteria, I could barely tell what they're cooking in that bitch. You're saying this dog smelling a tumor.

[B]

But we can go and work. They can't. There is dogs. I take that back.

[A]

Dogs work. But we canine dogs. If you hit a canine like a police dog, you're going to jail. Same thing as a cop.

[B]

I don't agree with that.

[A]

Why not?

[B]

It's a dog, but it's.

[A]

It has a job. It gets a W9 at the end of the year.

[B]

No, it does not literally. Does it?

[A]

Holy.

[B]

Do.

[A]

Dogs don't get paid.

[B]

Do the. They're like, here's your bag of bones.

[A]

Charge.

[B]

You did good.

[A]

Do.

[B]

Does the owner and caretaker of the canine unit get a stipend?

[A]

What do you mean? No? You just need to take him home.

[B]

It's all you get, so you don't get a stipend for it.

[A]

Oh, I've never been a cop.

[B]

I didn't go to this money.

[A]

I didn't go to.

[B]

Now feed that dog. How's that dog? Give that dog stuff.

[A]

I think it's a choice, though. You keep. For you to be a canine unit, it's a choice, but there's no shot.

[B]

They beat us.

[A]

We had this argument, like, years ago in college, and I don't think you remember this, but I am under the. I've always said that dogs definitely speak different languages. Dogs know English, dogs know Spanish, and dogs know German.

[B]

No, they don't.

[A]

Yes, they do.

[B]

They don't know language. We have discussed this multiple.

[A]

Okay, but I'm saying. No, I'm not saying words. I'm saying they understand languages. They know the difference between English and German. They do.

[B]

No, they don't.

[A]

Okay, then why do police dogs. Why do they speak to them in German?

[B]

What?

[A]

They speak to police dogs in German.

[B]

Says who? They speak to in German.

[A]

Yes, they speak in German. Every call out is in German.

[B]

Okay, that's probably old tactics that started years and years ago. And they keep it going, going. That same reason why special. Special forces use special words for stuff. It's just how it's been.

[A]

Well, you're saying if they don't understand it, why does it matter?

[B]

Because. No, they don't understand the difference between skateboard and Windex. They don't understand.

[A]

So if I were.

[B]

They are trained on repetition and influx and voice.

[A]

Okay, we're not gonna get on soon because we had this. But I'm talking about language, because if I were to go to a. A canine unit dog and say zeitgeist, say that was one of the things. Zeit, like in German, maybe that's German. It sounds.

[B]

German sounds something, you know?

[A]

So if I were to say zeit and it goes and does something, and if I were to say sit and go do something, you wouldn't. They wouldn't do the same thing.

[B]

Because they were. Exactly.

[A]

Because it doesn't mean they understand. It's not an inflection. I said the inflection into exact same way. They know the language of. You switch the word dogs.

[B]

No, they're not. They are not. They are not. No. You could train Ruby to get a treat by going, ah, yes.

[A]

No, I'm saying. I'm talking about police dogs. So I'm talking about your little rat. I'm talking about police dog.

[B]

The Germans, why they call rain where.

[A]

They call German shepherds in.

[B]

Because they were bred in Germany and they speak German. That's such. So English bulldogs gonna be like, hello, sir. You gotta tip your hat to him.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

He goes, no. Whatever they were taught is what they know.

[A]

Cam.

[B]

Holy shit. If dogs were out in the wild by themselves with no people, what language are they understanding there were they born?

[A]

The German shepherds will understand German. You have to teach them just like you teach everything else. We're not having this obedient. You know the same thing you do. You teach everything.

[B]

Exactly. You can teach them in Spanish, in Italian, in German. Do you believe French.

[A]

Do you believe dogs can. Can detect cancer? Smell cancer? How do they smell that?

[B]

I don't know. That's unbelievable.

[A]

You should know. Podcast. This episode is brought to you by our friends at Zak. Doc, you know that party game. Would you rather we play that a lot here? Well, I recently saw a survey that asked men what they'd rather do instead of going to the doctor. Some said clean their entire house. Some said file their taxes. Change the tire.

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We use Zocdoc and you should too. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com PSH to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That is Z O C one more time. Zocdoc.com PSH now on to the rest of the episode. Okay, this is gonna sound strange, but I need you to bear with me, okay? I found one of my new favorite pastimes.

[A]

Oh God. You would. Knowing you, it's gonna be a sick place.

[B]

No, it's. It is it. You said something I didn't agree with. It's a sick place.

[A]

Yeah, it's gonna be a sick place.

[B]

I'm not going anywhere. Locations neutral. I found one of my favorite pastimes. Not locations.

[A]

A pastime has to be somewhere.

[B]

Holy shit. That is not true at all.

[A]

What do you, what do you call baseball?

[B]

A pastime?

[A]

What is called. What's baseball saying? America's favorite pastime where you could just be anywhere and watch baseball.

[B]

What is a pastime?

[A]

I can watch baseball right now.

[B]

What is a. Yes. Holy shit. Yes, you can watch baseball.

[A]

No, I have to go somewhere. I have to go in front of a screen.

[B]

Holy shit. What is it? It is something to pass.

[A]

You're tired. You have to go somewhere and pass time. You can.

[B]

Holy shit.

[A]

Think about it in the technical stance. You always have to be somewhere.

[B]

You want to be technical.

[A]

You have to be somewhere to pass time.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

I said where are you? That's why I said where I'm right. Oh, you're just trying to argue. Don't look at them. Hold on. Don't look at them.

[B]

Well, okay, you were. You said technical. What is the pastime? Something to what?

[A]

To pass time. And I said where?

[B]

You don't have to be at a specific place.

[A]

You have to be somewhere.

[B]

Though if my CJ's favorite pastime is probably playing video games, he has to be aware it's in his house.

[A]

So he has to be where his gaming setup is. Where is.

[B]

He can game in a hotel.

[A]

Exactly. Where is He. That's why I was just asking. Where are you?

[B]

What the. Does that matter? About the pastime.

[A]

I was just trying to inquire about your bullshit. So I want to ask questions.

[B]

No, you're wrong.

[A]

No, you do have to. You have to be.

[B]

We're here. We're too far deep.

[A]

You have.

[B]

Pastime is what you're doing.

[A]

It is.

[B]

It doesn't have to be a location.

[A]

I said, where are you? Two days. I'm not Harvard. Best. I said, where are you? I said, oh, where?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I said, oh, where?

[B]

Oh, you said that. What was next? Since you remember so well, what was next?

[A]

I don't remember.

[B]

What was next, you little lip puckering bastard. What was next?

[A]

I don't remember.

[B]

You said it has to be somewhere.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You have to go somewhere to pass time.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

No, a pastime is something.

[A]

You have to be somewhere. You have to be somewhere to pass time. Peyton.

[B]

You have to be somewhere to live, brother. Be somewhere to breathe, you numb skull.

[A]

Ding, ding, ding.

[B]

Someone said, hey, I had a hard breath. They didn't go where the was it they say? Why are you breathing hard? Some people, it's something you do to pass time.

[A]

Yeah, I understand. And you always have to be somewhere to pass the time.

[B]

Always have to be somewhere to do anything.

[A]

Thank you for agreeing with so.

[B]

Why would you say that?

[A]

Because that's true. Like you just said, you have to be somewhere.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Okay. Where were you?

[B]

Okay. What pair of shoes you have? All right, now. Sky's blue, isn't it? The sky gotta be blue. What colors the sky for your shoes? Pair.

[A]

That's not true. It's not accurate or fair. So what were you saying? What were you saying?

[B]

Oh, my God. If anyone, if any, law firm needs another lawyer, give him an amazing offer, he might take it for a side job.

[A]

You have to be somewhere to pass time. We're not gonna keep doing.

[B]

Why would you say that? Because obvious as obvious can get.

[A]

So I'm supposed to know where you're at?

[B]

It doesn't matter.

[A]

You. It helps me paint the story.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

So where were you?

[B]

I was in my living room. And my favorite pastime is cutting cardboard box. That's my new favorite pastime. And you didn't let me get that out. And I had a whole little journey with it. It's not even.

[A]

Just let me know where you were.

[B]

Living room. You deceitful bitch. I'm so sorry, cj.

[A]

Why are you so angry when I'm just trying to inquire?

[B]

I Am. I've had this on since I got to your house this morning. I am so hot, it's not even funny. Okay, long story short, we got the house. A lot of new things came in cardboard boxes. I had to cut it down to fit it in my. That was a lot of. To fit it in my trash can. And using a nice box cutter, a very well, sturdy box cutter. Cutting cardboard is pretty fun, and it's a good.

[A]

You need more friends. Like, I think you need time away from your house. I think you just need to go do some activities.

[B]

I.

[A]

It's.

[B]

That's. That's in the horizon, brother. I had to. I had to. You wanted to spot. To sit down. Had to build the seat. You wanted a table to eat on. Had to build. You want to. You want to use something? I did it.

[A]

Why is mine wet? That.

[B]

That'd be a You problem. That is a. Where is it wet at?

[A]

Right here. Like, actually, like, right here. Am I crotch sweat getting on it? Like, is your crotch in the shot?

[B]

Pull it over your knees or cross your legs like a proper lady?

[A]

I'm sorry.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

I'm gonna tell. I'm gonna tell a story about you talking about houses and cardboard boxes. I want. Whenever I was. I first moved here, I was looking for apartments. Dallas.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

When I was. When I was moving to. When I moved to Dallas, I was looking for different apartments, right?

[B]

Yes, you were. You almost got a crazy.

[A]

And that's a story about to tell. So there is a. Not that one. Not the cross. No, no. I almost moved into a homeless shelter, but I told you that already. This one, I was. I was with my dad, and it was in between my first and second apartment. I could upgrade my apartment a little bit. So my price range went up a little bit, right?

[B]

Ooh, bag went up.

[A]

And so my dad came to Dallas. He was helping me look, right? We went to this one apartment, and I was like, oh, it's loft style, so it's two stories. A two story apartment is sick. That would be great. Bachelor pad. I love it.

[B]

Business on the downstairs. Love making up.

[A]

No. And that's you again, talking about my sexual life. And it's so strange. I'm just saying, like, just to play video games and have fun.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

And watch movies. But so I was like, this apartment is sick. We drove there, right? We get into the parking lot, and there's trash everywhere in the parking lot. And I said, it doesn't bother me. There's gonna be trash in my apartment. That's the kind of guy I am. We go into the leasing office. Beautiful young lady. Like, she's about 25, 26. I was like, oh, my God. This is even. This is even better. Beautiful, like, little realtor, leasing office, can.

[B]

You give me the tour of my apartment?

[A]

And so she goes, yep, Peyton Harden, I'll take you to your unit. And I said, I love my unit.

[B]

Love the sound of that.

[A]

We're going in, right? And remember, this is two stories. She unlocks it. She's telling us about the unit as she's looking at us away from the door. She opens it up. It is like that's where the sun rests. Like, the amount of heat that hit my body. I said. And I said. My dad said, oh. And she goes, we keep the AC off whenever. People don't live here. Saves money. I said, makes sense. But do you turn the heat on?

[B]

Like, yeah, this isn't natural.

[A]

We get in there, and I tell you there was a single foldable lawn chair in the middle of the living room, right? There was wires coming out of the TV port. No TV wires coming out of TV port, no tv. There was dishes in the sink rusting, like, they're rusted white like dishes in the sink. And I said, I think someone's squatting here. Like this. Looks like somebody is taking up the time to live here. My dad is looking at me. I'm looking at my dad. I'm like, oh, but it's one of the biggest apartments I've ever seen, because I couldn't at the time. That's all. Like, this is new to me. We're looking around. I'm starting to get an odor.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

And it's not like an odor like.

[B]

Like farts.

[A]

It's not like an odor of must. It's an odor of decay. Like an odor of a life ended.

[B]

Here if there's something dead in there.

[A]

And so I'm starting to be like, ooh. And I'm not gonna say why my dad knows, but my dad knows what dead bodies smell like. And he goes. He's starting to get concerned.

[B]

He goes.

[A]

He's like, hey, something, right? He's telling me that. I'm like, nah, this is nice. It's got stairs.

[B]

It's got a lawn chair and cords.

[A]

And as we're. As my realtor, my leasing office lady is taking us around this apartment. I could see a look of concern start to amplify on her face, like she is not prepared of what is happening in here. We go upstairs. Even hotter, he rises. I'm sweating and I can't breathe. And I'm starting to get panicked because my dad's looking like the smell is getting worse. Yeah.

[B]

And you're smelling up here.

[A]

She shows me the bedroom. There is a single mattress. No sheets, no. No frame, nothing. And it's like somebody's, like, shit in this mattress. And it's like, just in the mattress, and it's just on the floor. And I said, something isn't right. You know what I mean? She takes us. Go ahead.

[B]

I thought you said it. We go over the room and there is a single man sitting. And I was like, oh, my God. No.

[A]

But it gets weirder. It gets weirder.

[B]

No way.

[A]

She takes us to the bathroom of upstairs. The only bathroom. This is the bathroom. We open it up, right? She, like, opens it up for us. Me and my dad walk in. I swear to God, it has a sink, a mirror, a toilet and a tub. The first thing I see is the mirror. It's like somebody threw something at. It's broken. A shattered mirror. I look down at the sink. There is a hammer in the sink, Cam. There's glass all around this hammer. I look more into the bathtub. The bathtub is stained red. I swear to God on Malcolm Jerome the Thalgart Esquire Harden the Third's life. It is stained, like, splattered red. And there is Polaroid pictures. On my mom's life dog. No, there's Polaroid images, like, three little white people. And they're like. Like ominous. Like this. And my dad goes off, no. And then. And then the lady goes, we gotta get out of here. She's like, this isn't right. Like, we shouldn't. I'm so sorry. My dad said me ain't living here. And then we left. And he's. We're never going in that motherfucker again. That's. That's the story. I swear to God.

[B]

Hell. So you walk. You walked into a potential murder scene.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Your DNA and evidence is now there, and you're going behind bars for 10 to 15.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. I didn't. I walked into.

[B]

But what if one of your little hairs fell out from your butt? Like, what if there's butt.

[A]

I think there's enough blood and DNA and shit mattresses to get somebody else's DNA.

[B]

But there's crooked cops.

[A]

There's another white man trying to put a black man in prison. Go ahead.

[B]

No. Oh, no. I was. I was doing that. I was doing Devil's Advocate. No, that's. That is insane. It Was a weirdest. Say you swear on the word of God.

[A]

On my. On my. I would call my dad right now. My dad's life, on my mom's life, I swear to God. It was, it was called.

[B]

It's not funny.

[A]

It was called the. It's. It's the. It's the apartments. Like right when you do, you know, whenever you're driving back towards home and they're to left on the toll up there.

[B]

Show me today, I'll show you.

[A]

Holy shame. I swear to God.

[B]

Yeah. It's so hot.

[A]

Why so hot?

[B]

First off, this might be a very weird detail, but my ADHD kind of took. There's only one bathroom and it was upstairs. Why is only one? Why they give you two floors but there's not a guest bath?

[A]

It's like a loft style. I don't know. It's like, it's technically a one bedroom.

[B]

I'm gonna say I'll be damned from watching the game downstairs. I'm like, I gotta go piss and I gotta go up the stairs. Holy shit.

[A]

Saying that is.

[B]

That is wicked. Yeah, like, what if you would have lived there, bro?

[A]

What are you talking about? I'm saying, okay, if I sign the lease to a murder apartment, I'm saying.

[B]

Just say, here, play with me. Play with me. Right? That sounds.

[A]

You put me play with you.

[B]

They were both in moomoos. Here we go. Play with the scenario. Okay, so you get there, you literally have to. You have to go to bed tonight. And you like through the phone, you already put your deposit in everything. Matter of fact, that you saw the tour online, but they showed you a done up one.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You get there, she hands you your keys. That's your apartment, right? Do you stay there like your parents are gone?

[A]

Answer that for me. Okay, Answer that for me. Am I staying in the murder apartment? Cam, I'll sleep under a bridge before I sleep. In a word, people got killed. Are you kidding? Are you kidding me?

[B]

That's true.

[A]

Like, I've never been.

[B]

You don't watch like a scary haunted house.

[A]

You think I'm living in one.

[B]

What would you do if you found out somebody was squatting in your house?

[A]

Kill them. Can you do that? Maybe we can.

[B]

I don't. But like, you feel like you come in one day and the guys just like running out of your front door with a backpack on?

[A]

Call the cops.

[B]

But then like, how do you feel? You feel eerie?

[A]

I feel. You've never got your house broken into?

[B]

No.

[A]

Oh, it's, it's, it's, it's such. Have you all gotten your houses broken into? It's one of the most invasive things ever.

[B]

Oh, I bet it's. Oh my God. Yeah, I would hate.

[A]

It's like even the day after you're looking around like somebody was in my home. Like, it's like.

[B]

That's why, bro, I hate in the movies when people get their shit broken into and stuff and they're just chilling there like normal.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, I gotta go to work. I would be sitting.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

With a sawed off on my couch waiting for something. Holy shit. Okay, I have.

[A]

Can I put my pants back on?

[B]

No, no, no, no. You have to stay in the spirit.

[A]

I feel like it keeps popping out the you should know podcast. This episode is brought to you by our friends at Shopify. Ching ching.

[B]

Pete. Do you remember when we used to do merch on our own and it was so annoying our fingers cramped. We had to fulfill every single order we. They bring it from this website to that website and it was just awesome.

[A]

It was the worst thing ever. But thank God we found Shopify. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout we use with Shopify. One of the things I love about Shopify is its user friendly interface. It's easy for us, the people that are selling the products. It's easy for the people that are buying the products. We used to have all these hiccups whenever we would try to do it on our own. But now, thanks to Shopify, everything is smooth, seamless, and some of your big favorite brands. They use Shopify.

[B]

They sure do. So upgrade your business and get the same checkout we use with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com ysk all lowercase.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Go to shopify.com ysk to upgrade your selling today.

[A]

What is it?

[B]

Shopify.com y s k cha ching.

[A]

Now on to the rest of the episode. You should know podcast.

[B]

Okay. I've been dying to ask you this.

[A]

I've been dying to answer it.

[B]

Last week, you don't even know what it is.

[A]

I don't.

[B]

Last week, me and Liv sitting on the couch, everything's normal, right? She's fantasizing about the baby coming. Watch it, guy. Watch it. Put those eyes down. Put those eyes down.

[A]

You're right, they're down.

[B]

But she's fantasizing about the baby coming. And she says something that does not sit well with me at all. And then she tried to die on the hill.

[A]

What'd she say?

[B]

I can't wait for Bubba to be Here. It's gonna be so cute. I can't wait to play peek a boo with him.

[A]

Play peekaboo with him.

[B]

I want you to. I want you to repeat that. I can't wait to play peekaboo with him.

[A]

Peek a boo. Yeah.

[B]

Think. Oh, no.

[A]

No.

[B]

Peekaboo.

[A]

Well, your wife is country.

[B]

She said, I can't wait. Play peekaboo. And I said, what the hell's a peekaboo?

[A]

Yeah, it's peekaboo.

[B]

She goes, no. Peekaboo.

[A]

Yeah. No, she's definitely wrong.

[B]

100% wrong. And I said, it's. Why do you even think that's accepted?

[A]

Well, she's country. She says most things. Wrong song.

[B]

It's not even her accent, brother. She thought there was a reasoning behind it.

[A]

Oh, she genuinely thought the game was called peekaboo.

[B]

She said, you hide your face, and you're picking what face to give. To give the boo. So it's peekaboo.

[A]

No. Yeah.

[B]

And I said, are you okay? Like, are you drunk? That's not right.

[A]

Is it weird that I used to play the game like this with my mom?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That's cute.

[A]

And I. And we would have, like, what age?

[B]

This is where I don't heavily matters. You go. I don't know, 17.

[A]

Middle. No, middle school. Like, middle school. Elementary school. And then we. And then she would, like, I would wake up on Sunday mornings, and she would be cleaning, and she would have Fantasia going or Keisha Cole. And I'd go in, and, like, I would pretend to help. I pick up, like, one or two socks. And then we should have a mirror in her. In her room. And we would dance and sing in that mirror that's lit.

[B]

Beautiful memories. I used to lay down with my mom and play with the back of her head to go to sleep.

[A]

Excuse me. Used to lay you'd spoon your mother.

[B]

No, no, no, no. I would lay in the bed with my mom. We were not cuddling. I was quite young, like six, seven.

[A]

Yeah, it's fine.

[B]

But my security blanket, my sensory thing, I would lay and watch her show with her, and I take my hand, I'd stick it right up in here in her hair, and I would just go right there. And it was my security thing, and I fell asleep.

[A]

Mm. I'm being very careful of what I say.

[B]

That's fine. I mean, Lisa will get your ass.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

But apparently, I think Gabe did that, too. To his mom. Mom.

[A]

Cool. Gave.

[B]

Say this to his mom. And then gate lives. No. Gabe also would stick his feet down Liv's pants. On the back side and say it's warmandale.

[A]

There's certain things that don't need to make the Internet. Right. I think we need to protect our friends and we need to protect our family.

[B]

It's all childhood innocence. And they were. They would cuddle. They're very close in age.

[A]

Okay. You never said what age this was. I didn't. Okay.

[B]

Like, Liv was probably five. He was like three.

[A]

Yeah. I shit in the bathtub with my brother all the time. He has a thing with corn now. I shit corn in the bathtub.

[B]

Oh, I remember.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He doesn't eat it no longer because of that memory.

[A]

Every time he'll. He sees it, he. It always reminds him of that.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

What?

[B]

You said corn. And I just remembered. Oh, my God almighty, give us grace and mercy right now for what I'm about to say.

[A]

No, it's not.

[B]

Oh, it's being said.

[A]

No, it's not bad, though. Y'all being bad friends.

[B]

No, the other night.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Peyton calls me up. Hey, what's up, bro? Hey. Just talking regular. I go, what's in the bag? Oh, I just went to Target. None of your business. Typical pain response. I go, no, no, show me what's in the bag.

[A]

Yeah, you're always in my business, bro.

[B]

Cuz it's like 10:39. He goes, I'm hungry. Like, all right, what'd you get? He goes, don't judge me though. All right, no problem. First I got a mega bowl. I said I didn't even know they made those. Or is that. What is that?

[A]

It was a family sized bowl.

[B]

Like, that was like a. That was like a fur. Like, entertaining.

[A]

Yeah. So that bowl is meant for, like, you put the stuff in the bowl and people take the shit out of that bowl.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And put into their individual place.

[B]

Shit could have been like a Halloween candy.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

It was huge.

[A]

A huge bowl.

[B]

So I got this for me to put my food into my bed because I'm trying to be a cleaner guy. I go, all right.

[A]

Yes. So that's. That's the number one thing. I'm trying to eat better. Because everybody says, eat better, but this.

[B]

Oh, no, it's not about eating. It's about being clean. You said you got the bowl so there's no more grease and blood.

[A]

No, it's not. I got the bowl so I could eat cleaner.

[B]

Holy shit. Oh, my God. You're going back on your word. You said you got the bowl.

[A]

Tell me what I said. And I never said, don't judge Me, I was excited to show you because I thought you were gonna be proud of me. You.

[B]

And I was proud.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

I was.

[A]

Tell the story and say, show me where the proudness.

[B]

You didn't originally say the bowl was so you can have it. Exactly.

[A]

No, it's not. But keep on. I don't.

[B]

You. He gets a big ass bowl so he can eat in his bed and eat healthier, eat cleaner. So I go, all right, cool, dope. What you get to eat? My first thing I said, are you just gonna put your chipotle in that bowl? He goes, oh, no, no, no. Let me show you what I got. Pulls out a bag. Steamed sweet corn. This is a, this is a family size bag for like a side dish for your family of four. It is literally a gallon size bag of steamed sweet corn, frozen.

[A]

I don't think bags are sized in gallons.

[B]

Oh, there's different sizes, buddy, because you didn't get the single serving. God knows.

[A]

No, no, it was a family size.

[B]

It was a family size bag. So I go, that's strange. But all right, I'm here. Next bag. Maple sweet glazed carrots. Same company, same size, family size bag. He could be. He could feed a Thanksgiving feast with two side dishes now. And I go, what the are you making? And he tops it all off with a very simple and healthy breaded chicken tenders.

[A]

Plant based.

[B]

Breaded plant based chicken tenders. A two pound bag of breaded plant based chicken tenders, also frozen. So I then simply go, oh, well, what else you put in there? He goes, that's it. I go, really? That's it?

[A]

He goes, yeah.

[B]

I go, you're not putting like mashed potatoes, maybe some seasoning, a sauce? He goes, no, bro, it's good. Sweet corn, sweet carrots and chicken.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So I need.

[A]

Where's the weird part?

[B]

All of it, how that whole story is strange.

[A]

How?

[B]

Hoop, it was 11:00 at night, okay?

[A]

Because my eating habits are at night. Whenever I go to bed, I get hungry in my bed. And normally what I do is I. Every night at like midnight 11:30, I'll go to Whataburger or McDonald's and I'll eat a big ass burger in my bed. And the other night I was sitting there and I was like, I literally feel myself dying. Like I don't feel good and like I was grossed out at my mere existence. Like, I was like, this isn't right. I was looking at my fingers, there was sauce on them. And then I heard all yalls, chirpy ass voices. In my head, be like, eat bad. Eat clean.

[B]

Clean porch.

[A]

We want you around. Come on, cook something.

[B]

Don't die early.

[A]

Hey. So my ass. I was like, okay, I'm gonna go to Target because it's elegant. I'm gonna go to Target and I'm gonna go and find some meals. And so what I did was I went into the Target and I couldn't. I. I was so damn confused because I was like, how do y'all eat healthy? Where is all the healthy? Like, what is this stuff? Like, I didn't understand anything that was in there. And then so I saw a fit guy. He had a cutoff shirt and he had muscles, and he looked like he ran a lot. And so I was like, I'm gonna follow him. I followed him through the store, and I was like, I'm just gonna get what he gets. He got a bag of trail mix. I said, you, you bird. I was like, I'm not eating that. I'm hungry. I'm a 6, 7, 210 man. I'm not eating that. And so then I saw two athletic women. One of them had the calves of cj. So I was like, she has to know what she's doing. She has to. And so I followed her.

[B]

Oh. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You just followed a woman.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That has the same physical features as your roommate around a target at 11pm.

[A]

Because I wanted to see what healthy people eat. She was a healthy woman. I went to her and she got these little crispy ass, little biscoff, little ass, nasty ass chips. And I said, who's eating that? I was like, that's for kids. Like, I'm not eating that. So then I was lost. And so I said. I said, I'm gonna go around and I want chicken. I know chuckin's gonna fill me up. So I went to the chuck and aisle, and all the chicken was nasty, was little dino nuggets. And I was like, that can't be good. I want to find something healthy. I found the plant based nuggets. Plant based, I've heard is good. It's what all you hippies eat. So I was like, I'm eat that. So I grabbed that and I was like, I need side. I need sides with this. I was like, where the sides at? I go to the frozen aisle with the sides. They had corn and I heard corn's good. I heard green potato. What the. What? I get carrots.

[B]

Sweet glazed carrots.

[A]

I heard the carrots were good. I looked at the packaging. I was like, I don't know what sodium is. So I just kept going. I put in the bag and I. I'm proud of myself. I got two big ass waters, too. A huge water. So proud of myself. And then I go home and CJ comes in laughing. He goes, what is this? He goes, are you making. Asked me if I was making funnel cake or something. The smell of it. And it's always like. He's like, are you making waffles? And I was like, no, I'm eating healthy. He laughs, and he's taking pictures of my bowl. I call you, and you and your wife are laughing at me. And so y'all can't have it both ways. Either I'm gonna eat unhealthy, or I'm gonna eat my healthy. Weird stuff.

[B]

I'll allow you.

[A]

I don't understand what I did wrong.

[B]

You didn't do anything wrong. It's just straight.

[A]

Why is it brought up?

[B]

It's because it's strange.

[A]

How? What's strange about it? What's the difference between what I'm doing and what you do?

[B]

Let's call a spade a spade. First off, you just something that I don't even. I didn't even realize in the moment. You didn't even eat real chicken. You didn't even eat real meat.

[A]

I know. It was healthier, though.

[B]

It was plant based chicken.

[A]

Yeah, but it was healthy.

[B]

What is that? Was it breaded? Cauliflower?

[A]

I don't know. I didn't. I didn't read it. It just said healthy.

[B]

Did it taste good?

[A]

It had a green leaf on it. It has to be healthy. Like, that's healthy. And I felt better when I woke up.

[B]

Hey, then. Honestly, no.

[A]

Piss on my grave and call me Suzanne.

[B]

I will.

[A]

No, I'm not dabbing you up.

[B]

Come on. There we go. But congrats.

[A]

One of the roles in your life, other than being a tyrant in mine, is whenever we were, like, coming up together, you know, in college and when I first met you, you've always been invited to the cookout. Everybody has told me, whenever I didn't know you and people were telling me about you, they're like, cam's witted. Like, Cam. Cam's invited to the cookout. Everybody loves you. From my culture. Right?

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

But I really want to test if you're invited to the cookout.

[B]

Yams. That's how we're talking. Like, what would I bring?

[A]

Do you think I like okra? If you were to just guess 100%.

[B]

You love fried okra. Oh, my God. You smack Fried okra.

[A]

I love okra.

[B]

Okay, so I'm not guessing foods.

[A]

No. So we're gonna do the black acronym test. This is a very popular trend on TikTok, and I want to test you to see if you're really invited to the cookouts dog.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

Okay. So basically, I'm gonna give you a scenario and then an acronym, and you have to say what the acronym stands for.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Blackronms.

[B]

Okay, I'm not repeating that one. Can I see the letters? It'll help me memory wise.

[A]

Okay, yes. Or you can write it down if that makes it easier. All right, Cam's got his whiteboard now, and are you ready? I'm ready for your blackronym test.

[B]

My blackroom test.

[A]

You said you weren't gonna say it, but.

[B]

Oh, my God, I did.

[A]

All right. Your mom would say this when you were hungry. W, G, F, A, T, H. It's easy. Your mom would say this when you were hungry. Oh, let me make it easier, because I. I think the white person made this. Your mom would say this when you were out and you were hungry.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

He's not gonna do well.

[B]

I might be pierced. I might be choking on the first one. I'm. I'm. I feel like I'm.

[A]

Okay, you're in the car.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You talk to your mom and you say, mom, I'm hungry. She would say, well, go. Oh, my God. Yeah, Kidding. Oh, the black culture is not acceptable.

[B]

Mom, I'm hungry.

[A]

Your mom would say this.

[B]

I am. I am stooped. Well. Well's not it. Tell me the first word.

[A]

We.

[B]

We. Oh, we got food in the house. There you go.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I think I was dead stuck on. Well, okay. You always got a stretch before you lift. Come on. Here we go. Okay, I'm locked in.

[A]

Now, your mom would say this when she was mad and you were crying. S, A, T, C, B, I, G, Y, S, T, C, A.

[B]

Stop all that crying before I give you something to cry. Stop all that crying before I give you something to cry. Whoa. Stop all that crying before I give you something to cry about. Okay, There we go. I told you, I'm locked in. You just need to warm up. I gotta warm up.

[A]

Your mom would say this before you went into a certain place. Wwgit sdtn. Your mom would say that you're going up somewhere. You park the car. And your mom would say this before y'all went in.

[B]

WW yes.

[A]

You and your mom just pulled up to this place.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You're about to go in. She Says this right before you go in.

[B]

When we get in the store, don't touch nothing.

[A]

There we go.

[B]

We get in the store, don't touch nothing. When we get in this. When we get in. That was the part that was throwing me.

[A]

Okay, we got a couple more.

[B]

I'm telling you, I'm at the cookout. Hell, I'm bringing dishes.

[A]

You don't get to tell. You don't get to say what. Your place is at the cookout.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Enjoy the music. Enjoy the music.

[B]

I'm in a tank top. There we go. Happy in there. It's.

[A]

You'd wear a tank top to the cookout?

[B]

Yeah. Show my skin.

[A]

So prove that you're not one of us. Your mom. Oh, my God. My mom said this all the time when I made her mad. Okay, all the time. Your mom would say this when you tried her. It's very vague.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

IBY I T W A I C T Y O I brought you in.

[B]

The world and I can take you out.

[A]

Boy.

[B]

I brought your ass in this world. I could take you out.

[A]

I've never got to stop. You gotta stop. And I've never seen CJ look so confused. CJ's like. They said that to you?

[B]

He's like, they're speaking in code.

[A]

That's one more.

[B]

Was that it? Is that last?

[A]

That was it. That was it. That was good.

[B]

That was fantastic.

[A]

I'm proud of you.

[B]

Am I worthy?

[A]

Should we do a white version?

[B]

Am I worthy? Can we do a white version? Can we find one? Hold on. Oh, this is gonna be bad. Wait, for me or you?

[A]

For you. Yeah.

[B]

All right, so I couldn't find a white acronym list, but I found this. Things Only White People Would Say.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Okay, so it's basically. It's like a. I give you the sentence and then you have to finish the answer.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay, here we go.

[A]

Do we need that whiteboard?

[B]

I don't think we need the whiteboard. There's no right.

[A]

It's such a big whiteboard.

[B]

Huge whiteboard. Now my Ghibli bits are exposed.

[A]

Good morning.

[B]

All right, here we go. Only white people are corny enough to say this joke after saying goodbye to someone on New Year's Eve. See you blank. Blank.

[A]

See you next year. See you next year.

[B]

It's like, dog, you're going to see me tomorrow. Just be normal.

[A]

I haven't taken a bath since last year.

[B]

Yeah, I. Oh, my.

[A]

That's the worst.

[B]

That makes my hair stay like that. Ruby when she gets that little predator mohawk spike.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. White people love to say this phrase when entering a crowded elevator. Whoa, it's a blank in here.

[A]

It's a party. It's a be like, just get in or stay out. Get in or stay out.

[B]

You go. Hey, Brian, it's pretty crowded. Just go ahead and stay out. All right. Why people love to say this when they hear a child crying? Well, someone's blank, blank.

[A]

Someone's having a bad day.

[B]

Close. I thought that, too. It's only two blanks. Blank, blank. Well, someone's blank, blank.

[A]

Oh, someone's not happy. Crazy dog. Well, someone's not happy.

[B]

All right, maybe just it's not your kid. All right, here we go. White people. White people love to use this phrase as a way of saying they will get there somewhere.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Can't read, can he?

[B]

White people love to use this phrase as a way of saying they will get somewhere as fast as they can. I'll be there in a blank.

[A]

I'll be there in a jiffy.

[B]

What the is a jiffy, dog? What is it?

[A]

I'll be right there in a jiffy.

[B]

I'll be there in a jiffy, bro.

[A]

That's hilarious. Is there any more?

[B]

Okay, here we go. White people love to say this in response to a server who is asking if they are all done with their food quote. Still blank, blank, blank. I'm still blank, blank.

[A]

So working on it. It's blank, blank, blank. You still give me the first.

[B]

I'll tell you. The two last blanks are small words.

[A]

Very small on it.

[B]

That's right. So what's the first blank?

[A]

Still eating on it.

[B]

No, close. Come on. Way more white version of that. Come on. I'm finishing my plate. She goes, you still can't take your plates? And I go, no, I'm still eating a small.

[A]

Eating. Snacking on that.

[B]

No. Come on. Come on. You know it.

[A]

You hundred percent know snacking. I don't know.

[B]

Smell like a creature.

[A]

Next level of white. I've never heard.

[B]

White people love saying this when a server asks them if they're done with their plates, and they respond, still nibbling on it. Nibbling.

[A]

I can see Lisa. Santa.

[B]

Oh, no, thanks. I'm still nibbling on it. Oh, my God. Hey, you did good.

[A]

I did good. I did good. Thank you. Thank.

[B]

Hey. You're welcome. To our unseasoned cookout.

[A]

All right. There you go.

[B]

You're welcome to our unseasoned cookout.

[A]

Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I appreciate y'all back there. Guys, the. You should know Podcast this episode is brought to you by our friends at Draft King Sports.

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[B]

I need.

[A]

I just.

[B]

It's a quiz. It's not. Oh, my God. I did that again. It's. It's not that big.

[A]

Okay. But I had a question.

[B]

Do you.

[A]

Oh, no. But I don't want to answer you anymore.

[B]

But ask.

[A]

No, it's okay. So you go. You say that. You seem more excited about mine.

[B]

Okay. Basically, the other morning, Liv was like, hey, I really want donuts. What the hell is that?

[A]

Farted.

[B]

Oh, it's just like, I really want donuts. Butts.

[A]

It's like a butt queef. It, like, whistled out. It's like someone lit a match. Let's just go, Dude, I would do anything to feel one queef out of my urethra. Anything. I just want to know what it feels like.

[B]

I feel like that would. It would feel like a Komodo dragon breathing fire.

[A]

I think it would be kind of.

[B]

Relieving if you queefed from your hole, I think. I'm sorry. Cj. But let's call a spade a spade, brother. If you queefed.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

From your penile hole.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That would probably hurt.

[A]

Would you rather burp through your johnson or fart through your mouth?

[B]

You're kidding me. I'd much rather burp through my johnson because I would. Wait, do you have to be. No, serious.

[A]

Gotta mute that word.

[B]

No, seriously.

[A]

No. You can do a flaccid burp.

[B]

That should be like a little trunk. You go, oh. You go, oh, I got some acid reflux.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You'd burp through johnson or you'd fart through your mouth. Farting through your mouth is just like a stinky burp.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Worse noises.

[A]

But my burps are almost. They're pretty. They're pretty common. I apologize every time I burp because I know it's not like I don't have a cute burp. Like, oh, excuse me. Mine's like. And it's like. Oh, it's like C.J. farts.

[B]

Yeah. When I burp, it sounds like I'm in the middle of, like, an exorcist.

[A]

Yeah. But go ahead, ask your question.

[B]

In very simply, wife goes and gets donuts. I said, surprise me. She comes back with sprinkled donuts. And I said, that's nice.

[A]

What kind. What kind of sprinkles?

[B]

What do you mean? What kind of sprinkles?

[A]

No, no, no. What kind of sprinkles did she get on it?

[B]

Sprinkles. There's regular sprinkles. Just a sprinkle donut.

[A]

Well, there's different kinds of sprinkles. There's not a universal spring. There's different kind of springs.

[B]

Okay. They weren't festival sprinkles. So they were the regular sprinkles.

[A]

No, but like. Like, what kind? There's different kinds of sprinkles.

[B]

Are you the. Are you the donut cop? Who are you? Sprinkle police.

[A]

Second time this episode. I'm trying to inquire and you're getting on me. Relax. What kind of sprinkles is she at?

[B]

What are you asking me right now? What are you actually saying?

[A]

Yes or nos are different kind of sprinkles.

[B]

There's sprinkles.

[A]

Yes, different kind. Do you know the different kinds of sprinkles?

[B]

Different kind. Am I taking a cooking class? There's sprinkles. The flavor is sprinkle.

[A]

You think your big back ass would know about the sprinkles?

[B]

Okay, there's, like, little Halloween ones. There's festivals.

[A]

There's festive sprinkles. And then.

[B]

Then there's no.

[A]

They got dot sprinkles, like the little circle dots. Long sprinkle, short sprinkle, dot sprinkle festival.

[B]

Long sprinkle, short sprinkle, dot sprinkle, festive sprinkles.

[A]

Which one did she get you?

[B]

Okay, take out festive?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Long and short. Never seen the difference. There's the stick once in the.

[A]

You've never had a thick sprinkle like the sprinkles? Like, I know I'm about to have these sprinkles.

[B]

I thought he didn't like sweets.

[A]

I don't, but I used to steal donuts from the local agb. Me and my dad would just take them out the bakery and eat them and then never pay for him. Sorry, Mark. This is a fact. So I know about my sprinkles, and I hated the dot ones. They reminded me of the dentist. It was a hurt.

[B]

Are you kidding me?

[A]

There's. Yes or no? There's different kinds of sprinkles, but the.

[B]

Okay. There's different shapes. If you're calling that. Sure, yeah.

[A]

There's different kinds. That's not the same sprinkle. A long sprinkle and a dot sprinkle is not the same kind of sprinkle. It's a longer dot sprinkle. That's a fact. It's like a red velvet cake and a vanilla cake. They're different. It's like a red velvet and a chocolate cake.

[B]

No, no, that's not what I'm arguing, though. That's different flavors.

[A]

So if I were to give you a red velvet cake, but it was just a chocolate cake, would you be upset with me? No, I would be upset with you.

[B]

Why? They're different red velvet. Just chocolate kind of. It's literally just chocolate with red color. Yeah, well, it's different, but it's chocolate cake.

[A]

It's different, though.

[B]

The names different, the appearance is different.

[A]

That's what. I would be upset.

[B]

Why does that matter, though?

[A]

Because I want a red cake. I want a red velvet cake.

[B]

Can you be real? Can you just be real for a second?

[A]

I just know what I like.

[B]

Is it. Am I hooked? Like a lie detector test.

[A]

I just know what I like. I was just asking you. You. So about her sprinkles, right?

[B]

She got me a donut. Hated it. All right, all right. She got me a sprinkle donut. What kind of donut? What kind of sprinkles? Sprinkles, dude.

[A]

Let's. What kind? Dead Ass. What kind of sprinkles?

[B]

Dude, the regular.

[A]

I'll just talk to Liv.

[B]

She has the regular sp. Not. Okay. Not the little ball ones.

[A]

Okay. I hate those.

[B]

The regular sprints.

[A]

The worst What's. Okay, what's the worst kind of donut? Oh, my. There's some horrible donuts.

[B]

Campfire donuts.

[A]

It's a campfire donut.

[B]

There's nothing on it. It's just dough. It's like a.

[A]

It's literally no glaze.

[B]

No, no glaze.

[A]

Round bread.

[B]

It's literally bread.

[A]

It's not a donut then. That's just round bread.

[B]

Blueberry donuts are unbelievably good. You stupid, sacrilegious idiot.

[A]

I've never had a blueberry donut.

[B]

Blueberry donuts would change your perspective on existence.

[A]

You know what? I hate the donuts. I hate the ones with the jam and jelly.

[B]

Oh, my God, I hate those. Oh, my God, I hate those.

[A]

Look at me. Like that. Oh, my God, it's the worst kind of donut.

[B]

Oh, my God, the jelly filled long johns. What am I eating? A salami sandwich? The wor.

[A]

No, not the ones that come like this. They're still rounded, but anything with jelly inside. If you're injecting my donut. Oh, I don't want that. I don't want feeling injected.

[B]

Your donut jelly. Oh, my God. Oh, you've been to a. You've been to a weird donut shop, have you?

[A]

No, I've been a lot like common donuts.

[B]

Your donut shop in your. In your. In your local neighborhood got shut down.

[A]

No, I had Round Rock donuts in my local neighborhood. You know, that's gas shots around rock.

[B]

Okay, what are the worst. Let's go. Top three worst donuts ever. Long John's.

[A]

They have have to be long johns.

[B]

It's the. It's the. It's the joint. Looks like a skateboard. You can put.

[A]

Those aren't donuts. Those are called something else.

[B]

That is a. It's a donut.

[A]

No, those are called something else. Like a quiche.

[B]

A quiche.

[A]

It's like a quiche.

[B]

A quiche is an egg based dish. Doesn't have to be egg based, but a quiche. Some. You bake at a breakfast?

[A]

No, but it's an Italian kind of thing. You're. Let me not put race on it. But there's like. There's a. There's a. Not to be partial here, but there's a long donut and it has an. A Long john.

[B]

What about a bear? Claw. You like a good bear claw?

[A]

I've never seen that before.

[B]

It's like a big brown one. Looks like a bear claw. They get.

[A]

I have seen that, but that's a little. It's subpar to me. I don't like. I just want a round donut. Glazed.

[B]

Glazed fritter.

[A]

Never had that. I'm not experimental with my donuts.

[B]

You need to be like, I don't.

[A]

I like when we used to go to college and y'all would get those cinnamon toast ones, and I was like, y'all are just big backs.

[B]

What about the 2021 special from Hertz Donuts? The cookie Monster one that came with the Oreo on top?

[A]

Too much? Too much. I don't like that. Just give me a plain Jane donut swirl. I don't like it. I like glaze. The best kind of donut, though. Best kind of donut, glazed donut. Best kind of donut. Donut hole, no shot. Powdered donut. Oh, my God. A powdered donut.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

C.J. knows.

[B]

H, speaking of the powder, didn't we. How does the powder stick to the powder donut?

[A]

It's a fantastic question.

[B]

How does it, like, it has to be like, like moist, moist dough.

[A]

I, I, I assume if timeout. No, no, no, no. I always assume how they were made. It would be basically, you get the bread and you just roll it in a ton of spring powder. Powder.

[B]

There we go. But how does it stick?

[A]

Like, the glider is sticky. The powder is sticky. Have you ever had flour? And you put your hand in some flour and you put your hand back up. You got flour hand.

[B]

Barely, though. And you can literally go like.

[A]

Well, I'm saying they roll it around in the, they have like, this, they take the, the ball of donut, right? And they have a container of powder and they, they, they swish that around a little bit. Yeah. And then you got powder donuts.

[B]

Okay. What donut factory did you work at? What documentary did you watch?

[A]

I didn't, but I went to the Blue Belt factory once. I'm on a field trip.

[B]

Did you really?

[A]

Mm.

[B]

Was it cold?

[A]

Did you take field trips to the grocery store?

[B]

Dude, you went to a strange ass independent school district. I'm gonna be honest, bro. You could probably get a lawsuit. There's gonna be something about Pflugerville isd there.

[A]

Was there?

[B]

Oh, there's gonna be more here in 20 years. Those commercials gonna be like, if you ever went to Pflugerville isd, you are entitled to compensation.

[A]

You have Mesopelia, you have mesophilia.

[B]

You are entitled. You and your loved ones are entitled.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I saw. We went to the grocery store and we got Buddy Bucks. Oh, you don't know the importance of Buddy Bucks? Oh, you didn't have Heb in Dallas.

[B]

We didn't have Heb's.

[A]

If you don't know, it's like the. It's like the godsend grocery store.

[B]

So good.

[A]

But they don't have this anymore. It's all pristine now. But they have Buddy Bucks. Basically, there's a man in a costume as a bag, a grocery bag. His name was Buddy. And he had bucks, like little dollar bills. And you could take the dollar bills. Well, you could take the dollar bills and go into a vending machine. And it had these little balls that had the caps on them. And you could get a toy. I had so many chains.

[B]

That's sick.

[A]

Yeah. And so I don't know why we took a grocery trip, like a grocery store trip for the Strange Hill. They're trying to teach us how to do groceries.

[B]

I think my coolest thing from grocery stores. We were young. They had the little game systems in the back plugged in with the tv.

[A]

The tv.

[B]

The controller was chewed to hell. I said, said what? Rabbit kid got mad enough at a test run demo of a video game that he chewed the analog stick off of a Game Boy controller. I said, whose kid is that? Why he's not on a leash. If he has. If he has the willing power to go and rip it off of an analog stick, he's a freak.

[A]

Or she Kids are freaks. But you know what else is freaker that's outside of humans? These robots that are coming around. Elon Musk and his robots. Spots.

[B]

Dude. Me and Liv had a conversation and we said we could see you buying one.

[A]

The $30,000.

[B]

We can see you buy one. I think I'm going to get one, bro. You would. So you would.

[A]

They have payment plans. I don't. I can't afford that straight out.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, they definitely have payment plans. Yeah, it's probably. You probably finance it like a car. But have you seen it, dude?

[A]

They talk, bro.

[B]

Talk to you? They help you with your tasks. Things can get strange, bro. Things can get real dirty real quick. I missed. Things get wicked in a household.

[A]

No, but imagine how. How productive I would be with this damn robot, bro.

[B]

What would what? Here we go. Role play. Just buy. And you just bought an Elon Musk.

[A]

Hyrule plays animals.

[B]

Is that Backyardigans? What is that? Moo.

[A]

That was a cow. That was a cow. Keep going.

[B]

What, am I supposed to milk you? What? I'm supposed to milk you. No. No.

[A]

Okay, come on.

[B]

God. You just bought an Elon musk robot.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You take them home, you plug them in, set him up, software update, he's good to go. I don't know, is it double a battery? What are you telling him to do? What's the first thing?

[A]

Clean the first.

[B]

Yeah, you go, help me. You go, God, can they cook?

[A]

If I. Okay, first of all, if I have a robot, if I have an Elon musk Tesla robot, first thing. He is my slave dog. He, I. He belongs to me. He. Anything I tell him to do, he must do. I know they can talk. If he back talks me, he's going in a bath, dog. He's going underwater.

[B]

You say that. I'm telling you, this shit's gonna get real close to Will Smith's hit movie.

[A]

But I don't believe that.

[B]

What if you went, that's not what I told you to do. And he was like, I tried my best. And you went, are you back talking me? He goes, yeah. And you went, all right. You went to strike him. And he went like this. What are you doing with the strike him? He was like.

[A]

I'm like, no, I, I don't fear robots. I don't think any robot. I don't think any robot. We, we could. We could shut down in a second. Any robot.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

We have the artillery. Is that not a word?

[B]

The artillery.

[A]

Artillery, Artillery, whatever. We have the artillery and we have water and I have the power of electricity. I can literally shut off the brain breaker, bro. Not charge them, throw them in a bathtub.

[B]

See, but that, but that's all.

[A]

Hit him with my car.

[B]

But that, that's. That is. You gotta think now. You need to think macro.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Think about when cars first came out. You could probably take out a model T with a hammer. You could literally probably just whack it a couple times. That is done.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's not driving nowhere.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now you got cyber trucks that can withstand bullets.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Bow and arrows. Yeah, Flames.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Okay, so imagine the evolution of robots.

[A]

Right?

[B]

It's going to get to a point. God knows the military has. Has already had these.

[A]

Yeah, they have robots already had them.

[B]

Working on them for years.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Imagine the. The next 15.

[A]

But why? I think it's a little racist. I think it's racist that y'all automatically put harm and danger on these beautiful creatures of robots. Why can't they be loving and accepting? Because you're the race of robots. You're like, they're angry. Angry. Don't put them in our schools.

[B]

But you're.

[A]

All right.

[B]

You're. Dude, you're the problem. You're already the problem.

[A]

These accepting.

[B]

No, you're calling them racist. You're calling us racist.

[A]

Okay, prejudice. You're being prejudiced.

[B]

There you go. But you said they. You said they.

[A]

Yes, they're their own entity.

[B]

Oh, my God. He's a part of the problem, bro.

[A]

How's that a problem?

[B]

You're already giving it, like, soulful characteristics. It is supposed be property. No different than a car. No one would ever be prejudiced to a car.

[A]

I. I talk to my cabinets. I go to the grocery store and talk to lettuce, bro. I'm like, you're not getting picked today. And I apologize.

[B]

And he goes. Turns back around. It's a head of lettuce. Like, yeah, Turns back around.

[A]

I think they. They have cognitive reasoning. They have thinking.

[B]

They do.

[A]

They can talk. They. They understand what's happening. So why would I not talk to them like a they? I am nice to everybody. I'm not a mean soul.

[B]

Nice to inanimate objects, too, until they screw me over. But that's scary, bro. That's a different.

[A]

So if I had a robot, you wouldn't let it? I dap his ass, and then I say, malik, your kid is born. Your kid is born. Right? I have my robot. We have a great rapport, me and my robot. I hope and I say, hey, me and I buy.

[B]

See? Are you gonna call him.

[A]

I buy.

[B]

You're gonna call him Randy. Like, give him a name.

[A]

I'll probably name him Thornton.

[B]

Thornton.

[A]

That's a good robot name. Yeah. So, hey, me and Thornton are coming over. He wants to say he wants to hang out with your son.

[B]

Oh, no, no.

[A]

See, that's wrong.

[B]

No shot.

[A]

Why?

[B]

He doesn't get access to my intimate life. But okay, he can hold my box. He. That sounds absolutely wild. I'm like, good morning, Thornton. He's just like this. No. He can lift things for me. He can paint. He can cook. You're not holding my kid.

[A]

Why?

[B]

That's my job. The robot's job is to aid your existence. Okay, but say, join your existence, or then we're in the revolution in the age of the technological warfare, and we will lose.

[A]

But say you're you. You've lost sleep. You're tired. You can't see straight. You're not functioning. You're so tired. Because your rat ass kid won't sleep. He won't eat. He just screams all day. You're tired. You need help. You and Liv need help. Right? Your household's in shambles. You need so much help.

[B]

That's what I call you.

[A]

Not th great me. You think I'm taking care of a kid that can't sleep. You think about. I'm gonna say, hey, I got Thor. Thorin's gonna come over and help. You can watch Thornton. Watch him? Watch your kid.

[B]

What sense does that make? I'll just watch the little bastard.

[A]

No, I'm saying watch him. Take care of him. Throw away the trash, change the diaper. Like that's good. Thornton's going to get my groceries. Thornton's gonna cook for me. I'm buying this damn robot. Now that I'm thinking about it.

[B]

Should. I think you should. That late and we can. We could. We could jailbreak them.

[A]

No.

[B]

That's probably. That's probably how they would revolt.

[A]

100 I think robots are cool.

[B]

No. I just think it's scary bro. I really think it's scary.

[A]

But I think they said no way about Teslas too. It's scary. They self drive. They're gonna kill you.

[B]

But did you see what Tesla just dropped?

[A]

What? Oh yeah. The self driving car. The fully self driving.

[B]

No one's in it.

[A]

Yeah bro. That's cool.

[B]

That is cool. But you have to think in the ancient era. I'm not being a pessimist and like a like in conspiracy theory. I'm just saying you.

[A]

You have.

[B]

You have to think about this. But what if that technology falls into the wrong hands?

[A]

Because anything.

[B]

Exactly. But this is. That's anything but. This is going to be something super streamlined and normal.

[A]

No, this is going to be way less acceptable than harmful things we have now.

[B]

But think about Teslas in itself. Like 2011, 2010 when it first came out. Maybe three of them in the world like on the road. I would never get in a car that could drive self that's fully battered.

[A]

No one said that. I didn't say that.

[B]

You go, you got your Tesla in 2023.

[A]

Yeah, but I never said that about Tesla when it first came out. Said that's so cool. I was just broke. I could afford one.

[B]

Exactly. But now they're everywhere.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So then another couple software updates. That's the thing. These people, they. They're never like. And that's the way of business and technology. But they're never satisfied. There's. It's always going to be said the.

[A]

Same thing about the Internet. When it first came around they said same same thing about.

[B]

And it's the Internet. Not scary now. The Internet first came out it was AOL dial up to send emails.

[A]

Scary. It's not scary.

[B]

Hire assassins. What do you mean it's not.

[A]

I didn't know you could do that.

[B]

That's the dark Web. Go to learn something guy.

[A]

Yes. Mute that.

[B]

Yeah, it's bro. It's all about the evolution of the initial phase. Never scares anyone. Think about.

[A]

Yep. Nope. That's already.

[B]

But you see what I'm saying? See what I'm saying, bro? It's.

[A]

I think I'm just scared of shit. I'm not scared.

[B]

But you gotta.

[A]

I think it's cool.

[B]

Think future.

[A]

It's cool now, but now this is the time you monopolize the robots. You get as many robots as you can. You create a little robot army. Yeah. I'm gonna take over your block dog.

[B]

Guess what? You create a robot army. Then you go downstairs one day and they're all looking at you like this.

[A]

What is that?

[B]

I don't know. Imagine some could come out of their finger. Get you, bro.

[A]

My robots will not betray me.

[B]

You can't control.

[A]

I control my robot.

[B]

You can't. That's the beauty of it. You can't. You cannot.

[A]

You can.

[B]

Tell him surface level. Shit. I need you to pick up this box. I need you to cook me. Yes, sir.

[A]

Sit down.

[B]

He has a chip youp're looking at.

[A]

You're looking at. You're looking at robots. Like pit bulls.

[B]

No.

[A]

The same way people look at pit bull. You should get them. They're gonna attack. They're gonna train your pit bull. Train your. Train your robot.

[B]

But your pit bull has a limitation this robot.

[A]

Let's don't get the update.

[B]

Limitless.

[A]

No, it's not.

[B]

It is limited.

[A]

If I have to charge you, you're like limited power.

[B]

This robot is. Bro.

[A]

If I have to charge you, I have the power.

[B]

You don't get it. All I'm gonna say is buy like a 20 like a 2012 Ford truck, a couple thousand gallons of gas and a lot of water. Let's go to.

[A]

All right, then don't ask my robot.

[B]

To do for you. I'm gonna dab them up. I'm play him. I'm just saying.

[A]

No, you're not. Not even talking about him like this.

[B]

I'm not talking about a bad.

[A]

Thornton has feelings.

[B]

I like Thornton. Thornton's my dog. I'm saying Thornton one day could make you his Dog. That's it. End of the debate. That's all I'm saying. Robots are scary, but we'll see how it goes.

[A]

That kind of leads us into people's favorite segment. You know what that is? Pop culture. Paying a camp. Pop culture. Paying a camp. Oh, pop culture.

[B]

We're in moomoos.

[A]

We are. We look disgusting.

[B]

My pop culture.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Oh, I didn't know you were going.

[A]

Oh, it's okay.

[B]

I thought you were introing it.

[A]

Go say yours. No, go ahead.

[B]

I would love to hear yours first.

[A]

I was gonna talk about Outer Banks. OBX4.

[B]

Go for it.

[A]

I love Outer Banks. It's one of. It's such a fun show. Season four, part one just dropped and this is where I'm kind of going into. Oh, oh, Netflix.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Needs to stop with every show. Like, I think they're forcing these shows to do part ones and part twos. I don't like.

[B]

I don't mind it.

[A]

I don't like having to wait a month or three weeks between the two things. Right. Like, it is. I know they're trying to limit the binging, right. So people don't get tired of something. And like, okay, we want the next season with the next season. I get it. But it's starting to take me out of the seasons. It's starting to take me out of the storyline.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

And it's hard for when I'm watching the part one to, like, really get invested. Annoying. And it's going to leave on a cliffhanger. I'm going to wait a month and I get brought back into it, and I have to guide myself back into it.

[B]

I. I don't agree on your first part. I still get extremely obsessed and, like, into it. But when that month takes place. We live life, bro. Like we. Everyone does their regular and then some random Wednesday night. I'm saying, like, we do things like, I'm not thinking about Outer Banks every day of my life. And we do. You go speak for yourself. We do our normal stuff. And then a month later, on a random Wednesday, it drops. Drops. My problem is sometimes I damn near forget what happened.

[A]

Exactly. That's what I'm saying.

[B]

Like, I love it. And then I go to. And I'm like, damn, now I gotta rewatch it. But obviously it's to limit the binging. And it's a. Build suspense, bro. Because there is some people, they're like, oh, my God. It says the other episodes drop in in 20 days.

[A]

Strictly business.

[B]

I can't wait.

[A]

100% business.

[B]

Strictly business.

[A]

But, and let me talk about Outer Banks. I think it's one of the. One of the greatest things Netflix has ever made. I do. If you. I like shows that are like dumb. Like, like, it's obviously like corny kind of. Yeah. I love a good cornball show. Outer Banks has always been on that cusp of like, okay, these are kids and they're finding the world's greatest treasure. Like, obviously that concept is crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The first couple seasons it was like, yes, they are doing that. But then there was like a family storyline. Like there's a lot of that could actually happen that is like, you know, whatever.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's something that happened in this part one of Outer Banks. And this isn't a spoiler alert dog. These kids, like these five kids, 17 year old, 19 year old, however they're old. They are. Built a house.

[B]

Yeah. No shot.

[A]

They built a house.

[B]

No shot in hell.

[A]

They literally found scraps and built a house and they live in it.

[B]

No shot. No chance in hell.

[A]

I was like that.

[B]

They have running water.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Electricity. No shit. No shot in hell. You got grown men that have given their life to be good at that.

[A]

And women.

[B]

This 18. And women, of course. This 18 year old kid just rocks up on the dock, finds a couple of trees. He's like, here's our home.

[A]

Yeah. And they like witness people just get blammed. And they're like, that sucks. And then they're all right. And then somebody saw this on Tick Tock. Somebody was like, you're literally watching people get murdered. And you're like, ah, damn, that sucks. But God forbid the kook say something to you. You're losing your mind. And I'm like, that's so true. But I love that show. I think they have one more season in them after this. And they're ending it.

[B]

Oh, my God. 10 seconds on Stranger Things. I am almost done with it. It's been too long, bro. That is the greatest Netflix original ever. Yeah, undoubtedly. But where is season five? Holy. Like, it's.

[A]

I think it's because, like they said, they're making movies. Each episode, like each movie has the budget of a full length film, bro. But they're putting everything into this. But it's a cgi. It's gonna be super cgi. Yeah.

[B]

Yes. And it's like, why is it taking so long?

[A]

It takes a long time to cgi.

[B]

Not three years, not three and a half years.

[A]

Well, you got to think part of that was contract negotiations. All these kids got way more famous. Millie. Bobby's the biggest face in there. They're like. She's probably like, run me that bag.

[B]

Now where I'm not touching is 12.

[A]

So you gotta do that for 8, 10 different cast members. Right? Contracts, all this. You know how it goes. Location crew. God.

[B]

I just. It's honestly the like it has. I have nothing against it. It's just the love for more. Stranger Things wants me to come out. Just wants to come out.

[A]

Did you know that the. The Paul From Stranger Things 11's like the guy that does she. Like, he ordained her wedding. Oh, it's sick. I think I saw that on Twitter.

[B]

That's sick. But I was gonna say for my. My original one was stupid. I don't even want to say anymore, but piggybacking off the Netflix. Do you. I know you do this because we. You've been editing for a long time. I edited for the podcast. And we like you taught me. You trained me very well. Like a good dog. Like a good boy.

[A]

Yeah. Like a good robot.

[B]

You taught. Like a good Thornton.

[A]

Thornton.

[B]

You taught me to find the. The very specific details. Things have to match up. Things have to line up. Like you gotta be really intricate.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Do you ever sit back and watch full blown movies, like box office movies with. That does not add up.

[A]

Like the continuity.

[B]

Continuity issues constantly.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Does that not bug you?

[A]

One of the things about Outer Banks, that's what bothers me. One thing about Outer Banks is they adr, if you don't know what ADR is, is basically you go back whenever they edit everything but say like there's too much wind in a shot or they didn't pick up your vocals. You'll go into like a sound booth and you'll watch it and you'll mouth yourself. Like you'll say the words. There is so much of that, especially in season three of Outer Banks when they'll literally be like this and they're saying something completely different. And I'm like, dude, I don't even remember the.

[B]

Oh, we were in Oklahoma. We watched a movie with her family is called something about an app that tells you're gonna die. Like Countdown or some shit like that. Weird. Very weird. Weird, strange movie. But regardless, there was so many continuity errors. Like my. The biggest cringy one to me ever is time. Okay, long story short, like super long story short, basically this girl has like two minutes till she dies, right? The app says she's got two minutes left. Her sister, they're fighting like at the end of the movie. It's like the climax scene, okay? Sisters in this room, there's two minutes on her clock. The other sister's over here hiding. She has like maybe 30 seconds on her clock till she has. Okay, she. It pans to her. She's in the room, she's hiding, and she's scared. Okay, it goes 30 seconds. Remember when I say this, it goes to the other sister. Sister. This sister fights a doctor through three different rooms. I'm talking like a. Bars hitting the doctor. They're falling over stuff. It pans back like real life time. Like us sitting on the couch. At minimum of a minute.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Minimum of a minute of them fighting. It pans back to the sister. She's got 20 seconds left on the clock.

[A]

You get all that.

[B]

How is this happening? And then in that same movie, she pours a glass of water from her sink. It is. It is like. It's this. It's like gray, nasty water.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Pans to the hallway, cuz she thinks she hears something. Pans back, she's got filtered water. It's crystal clear. And I'm like. I just. It's like the thing you were like, bro, when you finish something, you got to watch it back, make sure.

[A]

How the hell did they miss it?

[B]

And these are movies, bro. There's. There is 30, 40 people just behind the scenes on the cast. Minimum.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How does no one see that?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or they see it and they. They're like, we can't go back. Like, it's got to stay.

[A]

If you ever want to bust the myth of reality shows to see how, like, they're actually cut up and the conversations aren't real. Any reality show you watch, and it's a food scene. They're at dinner, look at the food the whole time. Don't look at their faces. Don't look at the scene around. Look at the food. And you'll see the. The start of the conversation. Like the first sentence, there would be both full meals. The second, the reply, no food.

[B]

Steak's gone.

[A]

No food. They reply to that. Half the food's there.

[B]

That's why love is bl. Line has the gold ch. Gold chalices. You can't. They can't. So they make. Dude, they're.

[A]

They're they're smart. The continuity of it is. It's fire. Yeah.

[B]

God.

[A]

Wait.

[B]

We'll make a show one day. We'll make a. We'll make a movie.

[A]

Let's do it or something.

[B]

Or we'll be in a movie.

[A]

Let's do it.

[B]

We'll be in a show.

[A]

All right. Get us up out of here.

[B]

Well, that was.

[A]

Oh, that was pop culture paying in camp. Pop culture pay. Nick him. Ow.

[B]

All right, everybody. Appreciate you coming Back to episode one 135, and we cannot wait to see you next week for the very spooky, very special Halloween special edition episode 136. Do not miss it. Turn on the bell if you don't have it on. You cannot miss next week. We have a ton and ton of stuff and surprises in store for you.

[A]

Yes, we do.

[B]

So without further ado, confuse the casuals. Get your good karma. This week's secret code C. Cvr. Close to cvs, but not cvs. Cvr.

[A]

Cvr. Cancelled versus rescheduled.

[B]

Cancel, cancel. Cancel versus Rescheduled. Please, God, let us know in the comments. Even if I'm wrong, I'll take it. I just got to read someone else. I can't argue with him all the time. We always do. And he fries my brain anyway.

[A]

I'm a good arguer.

[B]

Episode, you're a fantastic arguer. Your points are sand. They're not a good foundation, but your arguments are. Are like. They're like vibrating.

[A]

Because I'm right.

[B]

Oh, my God, no. Because your tongue has three more tongues that come off and they speak to each other. They tell you exactly what to say, how to manipulate me. Conspiracy episode, also on Patreon this week. You got 10 minute talks out right now. Wednesday, extendo's coming. We got something else cool for y'all on Friday. And if you didn't see it, the conspiracy episode dropped this past week. It is out. It's right at the good vibes of the spooky season. We're getting all dark, twisted, twisted and weird, talking about things that make a little too much sense. But go check all that out on Patreon. Link in the description. Go check out the Facebook, Twitch, discord, all of it. We absolutely love y'all and we cannot wait to see you on the spooky episode next week.

[A]

Dress up next week for the Halloween episode and dress up with us.

[B]

There we go.

[A]

We love you. And remember, 1 out of 10 koala bears don't make it home to Christmas and we will see you on Halloween.

[B]

There was a little breeze under my dress.

[A]

Yeah, I'm in my mood.

[B]

Next time.