Podcast Summary: Your Anxiety Toolkit – Ep. 436
Title: 6 Schedule Habits That Are Secretly Making Your Anxiety Worse
Host: Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT
Date: June 2, 2025
Episode Overview
In this episode, anxiety and OCD specialist Kimberley Quinlan explores six common scheduling habits that may unintentionally worsen anxiety. Blending personal experience with years of clinical expertise, Kimberley identifies both cultural and psychological roots of time-related stress and provides practical strategies to help listeners build schedules that support their mental health, productivity, and joy. The overall tone is compassionate and encouraging, offering concrete skills for anyone overwhelmed by daily demands, high expectations, and endless to-do lists.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Why Schedule and Time Anxiety is So Prevalent
[00:02–04:27]
- Modern life demands high productivity: “If you feel overwhelmed and anxious about that, you are not alone. I am so with you.” [00:53]
- Society rewards overproductivity: “People praise you for being overproductive, but it’s actually not that healthy for your mental health. In fact, […] it’s unhealthy to be so productive all the time.” [03:36]
- People with anxiety often value excellence and are high performers, which can drive perfectionism and pressure.
2. Six Scheduling Habits That Worsen Anxiety
Habit 1: Over-scheduling or Under-scheduling
[04:27–08:09]
- Overscheduling: Rigidly booking every minute, feeling intense pressure to never be late, with no room for flexibility, breeds anxiety when life inevitably disrupts plans.
- Underscheduling: Procrastinating or avoiding making any plans, which can reduce anxiety in the short term but increases it overall due to lack of structure.
- The “middle path” is essential. “These two spectrums are going to create a lot of discomfort, and we're going to try to meet you in the middle somewhere...” [07:29]
Habit 2: Failing to Schedule Pleasure and Rest
[08:09–12:54]
- Most time management advice overlooks the need to schedule sleep, pleasure, and hobbies as priorities.
- “We just assumed that pleasure should be the first thing to go. And that is completely not the case. We must schedule pleasure first.” [10:37]
- Not prioritizing rest “tends to make us more depressed, more anxious, and the whole joy of life goes out the window.” [11:15]
- Kimberley’s clients state that learning to schedule pleasure was “the most important” concept from her courses.
Memorable quote:
“One of the biggest antidotes to anxiety is having fun. Anxiety wants us to be serious all the time and take things so seriously...” [11:23]
Habit 3: Treating All Tasks as Equally Important & Serious
[12:54–16:29]
- Adrenalizing: Frantically treating all tasks as emergencies, leading to constant adrenaline and stress.
- “That act of moving fast and bang, bang, bang… without any mindfulness literally is creating adrenaline in your body... your body is going to assume there’s danger.” [14:33]
- Solution: Learn to differentiate between high-stakes and routine tasks, and slow down physical responses.
- Kimberley notes she personally needs to be “more intentional about slowing down” in the mornings. [16:09]
Habit 4: Avoiding Hard Tasks via Busywork
[16:29–17:26], [18:44–21:19]
- Procrastinating on important, difficult tasks by doing low-priority “busywork” may feel productive but increases anxiety.
- “I have spent the whole day feeling productive… but really I just spent the day doing the one or two level importance things and at the end of the day feeling anxious.” [19:43]
- For therapists, this often looks like finding any task to avoid writing clinical notes.
- Solution: Make lists ranking tasks by urgency and importance; structure the day around real priorities.
[Ad Break omitted]
Habit 5: Saying Yes Too Often — People Pleasing & Overcommitting
[18:44–22:10]
- Difficulty saying no is common due to fear of disappointing or being judged by others.
- “Saying yes to them is a saying no to me… My mental health matters, My rest matters, My sanity matters.” [19:37]
- Kimberley developed a personal flowchart: first ask, “Am I saying yes because I want to, or because I have to?”
- “If you’re putting something on your plate that you actually don’t have time for… it is an immediate onboarding of anxiety and stress.” [21:02]
- Practice saying, “I’m at capacity,” as a kind boundary.
Habit 6: Measuring Self-Worth by Productivity
[22:10–27:41]
- Many equate their worth with how much they accomplish. This creates fragile self-esteem and exhaustion.
- Personal story: “When I got sick in 2018, I had to wipe my schedule and it was the biggest hit to my self-esteem. And that is when I realized that all the busy work […] was so that I would feel good about myself.” [22:34]
- True self-care: “You are worthy whether you get the things done or not.” [23:20]
- Encourage a mindset where self-worth is not conditional on productivity.
- Examine if scheduling is used compulsively to control uncertainty (common in anxiety/OCD) or avoided as an escape.
Reference:
- Kimberley recommends the “Healthy Mind Platter” by Dan Siegel & David Rock, which includes seven vital daily factors (e.g., downtime, playtime, connection, sleep, focus) for brain health. [26:05]
Actionable Strategies & Takeaways
- Meet in the Middle: Find a “Goldilocks” zone between over-structuring and total avoidance.
- Prioritize Rest and Fun: Schedule sleep and pleasure first; don’t treat joy as an earned reward.
- Task Hierarchy: Not all tasks are created equal — reserve urgency for true priorities and let minor things be done more gently.
- Say No: Practice compassionately declining requests and opportunities that exceed your time or energy.
- Self-Worth Check: Affirm that you are valuable regardless of your achievements each day.
- Flexible, Compassionate Scheduling: The right balance is unique to each season and person — adapt your rest-to-productivity ratio as needed.
- Beware of Compulsions: Scheduling doesn’t cure anxiety if it becomes a rigid compulsion or a constant avoidance.
- Experiment: Try implementing one baby step or change at a time; return to add more once the first is established.
- Model Self-Compassion: End your day with kindness: “You did the best you could. None of these things determined your worth.” [24:30]
Notable Quotes
- “If you feel overwhelmed and anxious about [managing your schedule], you are not alone. I am so with you.” [00:53]
- “We must schedule pleasure first. And that is the core first step when we talk about time management.” [10:38]
- “Adrenalizing… is creating adrenaline in your body, and when you have adrenaline in your body, your brain and body is going to assume there’s danger.” [14:33]
- “Saying yes to them is a saying no to me. Saying yes to them might be saying no to me. And I have to not do that anymore.” [19:37]
- “You are worthy whether you get the things done or not.” [23:20]
- “At the end of the day, this must be a compassionate act that you do for yourself.” [27:08]
Key Timestamps
- 00:02 — Introduction: The prevalence and pressure of modern scheduling
- 04:27 — Habit 1: Over- or under-scheduling
- 08:09 — Habit 2: Not scheduling pleasure/rest
- 12:54 — Habit 3: Treating all tasks as urgent/important (adrenalizing)
- 16:29 — Habit 4: Avoiding priorities with busywork
- 18:44 — Habit 5: People pleasing/overcommitting
- 22:10 — Habit 6: Measuring worth by productivity
- 26:05 — The “Healthy Mind Platter” for balanced self-care
- 27:41 — Individual “rest to productivity ratio” and compassionate closing
Final Thoughts
Kimberley closes with encouragement for listeners to use their schedules compassionately and flexibly, as a tool to support both productivity and well-being, not as a measure of worth or a source of compulsion:
“Rest easy, my friend. I have to repeat that you are enough whether you got them done or not.” [24:30]
She reminds us that self-compassion and mental health should guide our approach to time, tasks, and to-do lists. Each person's path is unique, and a beautiful life is possible through thoughtful, balanced scheduling.
Resources Mentioned:
- cbtschool.com timemanagement (Kimberley’s course)
- “Healthy Mind Platter” model by Dan Siegel & David Rock
Disclaimer: The podcast does not replace professional mental health care. Seek support if needed.