← Your Daily Real Estate Podcast with Tristan Ahumada
Your Daily Real Estate Podcast with Tristan Ahumada
Episode 784: Why Rejection Is Secretly Training You to Win
00:09:14
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You know what's wild? 71% of real estate agents didn't close a single transaction last year. Not one. And the stat everyone throws around, 87% of agents fail within their first five years. Now, here's what nobody wants to tell you, though. It's not the market. It's not your broker, it's not your lead gen. It's not even your competition. It's what's happening between your ears. I've been in this business for over two decades. I've watched agents with every advantage flame out in six months. And I've seen agents who started with nothing build empires. The difference? It's not talent. It's not luck. It's mindset. Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck spent decades researching why some people succeed while others, others with same abilities, fail. And what she found. Here's the key. What you found will change how you think about your career. I hope. She discovered two types of mindsets. The first is what she calls a fixed mindset. These are people who believe their abilities are set in stone. You're either good at sales or you're not. You either have what it takes or you don't. The second is a growth mindset. These are people who believe abilities can be developed through effort and learning these challenges. Or at least they see challenges as opportunities, not threats. Here's the thing. In her studies with students with a growth mindset, they consistently outperform those with a fixed mindset by 9 to 17%. And when researchers looked at brain scans, people with fixed mindsets showed 00 brain activity when reviewing their mistakes. None. Their brains literally shut down. But people with growth mindset, their brains lit up when they saw errors. They were processing, learning, adapting. So what does this mean for you? Think about the last time you got rejected. I don't have to think very long in real estate. I don't think a lot of us do if we're trying to get business. Someone said no to a listing appointment. A buyer ghosted you. An offer fell through. What did you tell yourself if you've got a fixed mindset? You probably said something like, I'm not going to offer this, or I knew I wasn't good enough. Or my personal favorite, maybe I should just go back to my old job. But here's what somebody or someone with a growth mindset says, that didn't work. What can I learn? What do I do differently next time you see same rejection, completely different outcome. Now, let me get real with you for a second or for a few seconds. I know what some of you are doing. You're avoiding the phones because you're scared of rejection. You're avoiding doing open houses because you're afraid of people saying no to you. You're afraid of calling your past clients because you're afraid you may have let them down. You're afraid of just doing things on social because you're like, man. Or what are people going to say? They're going to criticize me. Yeah, you know, I hear it all the time. You're not following up because you don't want to hear no. You're hiding behind your busy work of doing whatever you're doing instead of actually working on the things you know you should be doing. And every time you avoid it, you're just reinforcing that story. A story that says you can't handle it, that you're not good enough. Here's the truth. That story is a lie you're telling yourself. Research shows that 82% of successful people have felt like imposters at some point. Even Einstein said he felt like a fraud. So if you're feeling like you don't belong like everyone else has it figured out and you're just pretending, congratulations, you're normal. The difference is what you do next. You let that voice stop you or do you feel the fear and do it anyway? Here's what I want you to understand. In door to door sales, the conversion rate is 1 to 5%. That means for every hundred doors you knock, you might might get one to five yeses, 95 to 99 rejections for every few wins. And guess what? That also translates to online leads. That also translates to a lot of conversations out there. If you're taking those rejections personally, if you're letting each no chip away at your confidence, it's just not going to last. But if you understand that rejection is just part of the game, that each no brings you closer to yes, now you're thinking like a pro. So how do you actually shift your mindset? Well, first, catch yourself in the act when you hear that voice saying, I can't do this and I don't know that I'm cut out for this. Well, just add one word. Yet I can't do this. Yet I'm not good at listing presentations, yet I don't know how to handle objections yet. That one word changes a lot in your mind and it opens the door to growth. Second, stop worshipping talent. I see it all the time. And start celebrating effort. I see agents often who think that top producers are just naturally gifted. Wrong. They've put in thousands of hours of practice. I mean, we've been out there door knocking. We've been on the phones. We've been communicating with people for years. Hours. Thousands of hours, and we've made those calls. It's not so much talent as much as practice. We've heard no thousands of times. The agents who make it aren't the most talented. They're the ones who refused to quit. Third, reframe failure. Every rejection is data. Every lost deal is a lesson. Every mistake is training. The agents who succeed aren't the ones who never fail. They're the ones who fail forward. And you've heard that. Let me leave you with this. The battle for your real estate career isn't happening in the market. It's not happening with your competitors. It's not even happening with your clients. It's happening in your head. And every single day, you get to choose which voice wins. The voice that says you're not good enough or the voice that says you're becoming more. The fixed mindset that sees every rejection as proof you don't belong or the growth mindset that sees every challenge as a chance to level up. Here's my challenge to you. For the next 30 days, I want you to catch as many negative thoughts as you can. Every time that you hear the voice, your own voice, I. That's doubting. I want you to write it down or put it on your phone or text it to yourself. Then I want you to rewrite it. I can't. Becomes I'm learning. I failed. Becomes I discovered. I discovered what doesn't work. I'm not good enough. Becomes I'm getting better every day. Because the agents who win this game, if you want to call it a game, aren't the ones with the best market. They're not the ones with the best leads. Because we. We've heard that game often, right? All leads suck. Great. Let's start there. And agents with the best luck aren't the ones that are winning either. They're the ones who've mastered what's between their ears. First, your mindset. That's it. It's your greatest asset or your greatest liability. Which one is it going to be?