Episode 802: Your "Narrator" is Lying: Stop Self-Sabotaging Your Business - Your Daily Real Estate Podcast with Tristan Ahumada

Summary4 min read

Episode Overview

Podcast: Your Daily Real Estate Podcast with Tristan Ahumada
Host: Tristan Ahumada
Episode: 802 – Your "Narrator" is Lying: Stop Self-Sabotaging Your Business
Date: February 9, 2026

In this episode, Tristan Ahumada shares a powerful mindset shift for real estate professionals: the internal “narrator” that shapes your self-perception and limits your business growth is often lying to you. Drawing on his decades of experience, Tristan outlines how repetitive self-doubt and negative self-talk reinforce limiting beliefs—and, more importantly, how to break free and write a new, empowering story for yourself and your business.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Internal Narrator and Self-Sabotage

Opening Reflection: Tristan asks listeners to notice their first thoughts in the morning, highlighting common self-defeating narratives such as, “I’m just not built for this,” or “I’m so behind.”
Personal Experience: Drawing from 22 years in real estate, Tristan asserts,

“The story you tell yourself—that’s the life you live every single day.” (00:29)
Origins of Limiting Narratives:
- Many negative beliefs are not self-authored; they start as comments or judgments from parents, colleagues, or brokers, repeated until they “feel like a truth.”

2. How Limiting Stories Reinforce Themselves

The Cycle of Self-Fulfilling Prophecy:
- If you believe, “I’m bad at prospecting,” you’ll avoid key actions, then use your lack of results as “evidence” to reinforce the story.
Tristan’s Insight:

“You built a ceiling for yourself and you can’t even see it because you’re the one who put it there.” (02:07)

3. Four Steps to Rewriting Your Narrative

Step 1 – Catch the Story in Action

Awareness Practice:
- Write down limiting self-talk; look for phrases like “I never get the listing,” or, most dangerously, “That’s just how I am.”

“That’s just how I am. That’s the most dangerous sentence in the English language because it closes the door on growth.” (03:02)

Step 2 – Question the Story

Critical Thinking:
- Ask: “Is this true, or is it just familiar?”
- Examine who benefits from you holding on to this limiting belief—it often serves to keep you “safe” from discomfort but also keeps you stuck.
- Example: Saying “I’m not good at video” protects from criticism, but limits growth.

Step 3 – Rewrite with Intention

Reframe Past & Present:
- Move old limitations to the past tense: “I used to struggle with consistency.”
- Speak your new self in the present:
  
  “I’m becoming someone who has hard conversations with confidence.” (05:05)
- You don’t have to be fully transformed:
  
  “You just have to be becoming. That’s it.” (05:32)

Step 4 – Stack Evidence for the New Story

Action-Based Proof:
- Every small step or aligned action is “a vote for the person you’re becoming.”
- Example: Making one call, recording one video, following up with one client.

“Tracking builds consistency and it compounds. Stack those wins.” (06:12)

Self-reflection practices: End each day asking, “How did I show up as the person I’m becoming?” Write it down or record it for added reinforcement.

4. The Power of Repetition

Repetition Created the Old Story:
- The host invites listeners to realize that repetition—not conscious design—created their current story, and so repetition can create the new narrative.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Your Internal Story:

“We all have this narrator in our head. And that narrator has been running the same script for years, maybe decades.” (01:05)
The Most Dangerous Belief:

“That’s just how I am. That’s the most dangerous sentence in the English language because it closes the door on growth.” (03:02)
On Growth:

“The story keeps you safe, but it also keeps you stuck. And I don’t want that for you.” (04:12)
Encouragement to Listeners:

“You’re not who you were yesterday. You’re not locked into some version of yourself that was written by someone completely out there, someone else years ago. You’re who you decide to be today, right now.” (07:01)

Important Timestamps

00:00 – 00:55: Morning self-talk and the hidden scripts we live by
01:05 – 01:50: Origins of internal narratives and their reinforcement
02:07 – 03:12: The self-fulfilling prophecy and building your own limits
03:12 – 04:30: Step 1: Catching and recording limiting beliefs
04:31 – 05:32: Step 2 & 3: Questioning and rewriting your story
05:33 – 06:45: Step 4: Stacking evidence and practical tips for consistency
07:01 – 07:38: Final mindset reframe and encouragement

Summary & Takeaways

Tristan Ahumada urges real estate professionals to become conscious of—and challenge—their self-defeating internal monologues. He provides a practical four-step process: catch the story, question it, rewrite with intention, and actively collect evidence for your new narrative. Throughout, Tristan emphasizes that true change is possible for anyone willing to challenge the “narrator” in their head and author a better, more empowering story for themselves and their business.

Closing Call to Action:

“I need you to tell a better story.” (07:35)

For agents, teams, and brokers alike, this episode is a concise, motivating masterclass in self-leadership and personal growth—offering simple, actionable steps to overcome self-imposed ceilings and accelerate business and personal success.

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[00:00]
A
Let me ask you something and I want you to really think about this. What's the first thing you say to yourself when you wake up in the morning? Is it here we go again? Or is it I'm so behind? Maybe it's I'm just not built for this. Here's what I've learned after 22 years in this business. Real estate, building a national brokerage, coaching thousands of agents, consulting with agencies across the country and in other countries. The story you tell yourself, that's the life you live every single day. I'm Tristan Elmada and this might be the most important thing I ever share with you. And it may not seem like it. That's the crazy thing. See, we all have this narrator in our head. And that narrator has been running the same script for years, maybe decades. I'm not good with technology. I'm terrible at follow up. I'm just not a natural SC salesperson. People like me don't build big businesses. Does that sound familiar? Here's the thing. That story, you didn't even write most of it. Someone else did. A parent, a broker, or worse, a colleague who made an offhand comment 10 years ago. And I know you can relate to that because I have some of those stories sitting in my mind as well. And you just kept repeating it until it felt like a truth. I know I can relate with it. But the thing is, it's not the truth, it's just familiar. Let me tell you how this plays out in real life. When you believe a story about yourself, you act in alignment with that story. Not your potential, the story. If you believe you're bad at prospecting, you'll avoid the phones, you'll find reasons not to call. And then when you don't get results, you'll say, see, I told you I'm bad at this. That's not evidence. That's a self fulfilling prophecy. You built a ceiling for yourself and you can't even see it because you're the one who put it there. So how do we change this? I'm going to give you four steps and they're simple. But simple doesn't mean easy. Step one, catch the story in action. Now I do this because I write things down and I can catch it. Now I. I write things down and I'm like, oh, there it is, let me write it down because I'm going to come back to it. And you start by paying attention to your own language. Listen for the phrases that lock you in place. I always forget to follow up. There it is. I Never get the listing. There's another one or the most popular one. That's just how I am. Or that's just how it is. That phrase right there, that's just how I am. That's the most dangerous sentence in the English language because it closes the door on growth. When you hear yourself say it, stop. That's your narrator talking. And your narrator is lying to you. Step two. Question the story. Ask yourself this. Is this true or is it just familiar? There's a big difference. Familiar feels like truth because you've been living with it for so long. But that doesn't make it real. Here's another question to ask. Who benefits from me believing this? Sometimes we hold on to limiting stories because they protect us, they make us feel safe, and we don't like to feel uncomfortable, Right? That's the thing. If I'm not good at video, if that's the thing that's revolving around your head when it comes to social media or just showing up on video, that means that you don't have to put yourself out there. You don't have to get that criticism. If. If I'm not a closer, I don't have to handle rejection. That's what it really means. That's it. Like, I don't feel comfortable with it. And the story keeps you safe, but it also keeps you stuck. And I don't want that for you. Step three. Rewrite with intention. This is where it gets better. Take that old story and put it into the past tense. I used to struggle with consistency. I used to avoid difficult conversations. I used to believe I wasn't cut out for this past tense because that was the old version of you. Now write the new story in the present tense. I'm becoming someone who shows up every day. I'm becoming someone who has hard conversations with confidence. In fact, that's the one I'm working on right now, right? I'm becoming someone who builds something meaningful. And you don't have to be there yet. In fact, most of us aren't. Most of us aren't where we want to be. And that's okay. This is how we practice. You just have to be becoming. That's it. Step four. Stack evidence for the new story. Your brain needs proof. That's how it works. So you give it proof. Every small action that aligns with your narrative is a vote for the person you're becoming. You made one call today. Well, guess what? That's evidence. You posted one video or even yet. No, you recorded one video and you didn't Even post it. That's a start. That's the evidence. You follow it up with one client, you see? That's the evidence. And this is why I love tracking. Because when you track, you're like, done, done. It builds consistency and it compounds. Stack those wins. And at the end of each day, ask yourself the question today. How did I show up as the person I'm becoming? And then write it down or talk to the recorder. And then as you have the transcription with ChatGPT or AI, reflect on it. And you let that sink in. Because repetition created the old story. I don't know that you realize that, but you were doing it without actually having a routine. You were just showing up and it felt comfortable and you kept going. And repetition will create the new one. Here's what I want you to walk away with. You're not who you were yesterday. You're not locked into some version of yourself that was written by someone completely out there, someone else years ago. You're who you decide to be today, right now. That decision, it happens in the story you choose to tell. I know I have to continually repeat it to myself for who I am, who I want to be, who I want to show up as. And there are days that I'm like, not today. And then I have to push myself. But I need you to tell a better story. I'm Tristan Amada. I'll see you on the next one.