Your Mom's House Ep. 828: "A Gender Traitor's Guide To Dating" w/ Jordan Jensen

Podcast: Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Date: September 17, 2025
Guest: Jordan Jensen
Main Theme:
The Mommies (Christina P. and Tom Segura) welcome comedian Jordan Jensen for a hilarious, raw, and insightful conversation about gender norms, dating, comedy, masculinity, femininity, and personal growth. The episode covers everything from code-switching and crazy internet dating profiles to lesbian parenting, breaking the cycle of toxic relationships, and why female comics are all a little "dykey." Together, they dissect modern relationships, comedic identity, coping with social change, and (of course) the timeless art of public farting.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Code-Switching, Cultures, and "Elite Whites"

• Code-switching isn't just about race; Tom explains it's about matching language and behavior to any social context—bank meetings, old people, business deals, etc.
  • “People always think in terms of just race. But you also code switch based on, like, people's age and the setting you're in.” (Tom, 05:03)
• How to talk to high-status (mostly white) men: Tom humorously breaks down how to become an “elite white” conversationalist—learn their hobbies, keep a relaxed attitude, and be logical in complaints.
  • “If you know what they love, that's the way to a super elite white guy.” (Tom, 11:22)
• Conflict management: Tom shares advice from his dad: If you need to complain, avoid emotion, seek the highest person available, and never leave an angry paper trail.
  • “If you're pissed about something, never email it.” (Tom, 13:36)

Gender, Dating, and "Gender Traitors"

• Female comics & masculinity: Christina and Jordan discuss how female comedians often develop "dykey" or more masculine traits as a way of surviving and thriving in stand-up’s male-dominated environment.
  • “Comedy is, like, masculine energy ... it's always like, 'Nice fudgeing shirt, dipshit.'” (Tom, 45:10)
  • “I also think that there's an inherently gay quality to all female comics—because we're going against the gender norm in the first place.” (Christina, 44:51)
• Jordan's upbringing with two moms and a "dad":
  • Jordan shares the reality of lesbian parenting—one mom becomes the "dad," the other gets labeled as "emotional.”
    • “Because one's a bulldike, right, and one's a man ... two dads, basically.” (Jordan, 61:05)
• Relationship patterns: Jordan opens up about her toxic on-again, off-again relationship cycles, identifying as “anxious” and explaining how she’s setting a goal to take a full year off from reconnecting.
  • “If I keep doing this, I will die ... If I do a year, there’ll be a prize.” (Jordan, 70:38)
• "Gender traitor":
  • The term is affectionately used for women who don’t conform to traditional gender roles—or for women who overdo "femininity" with cosmetic procedures or compete in male spaces.
    • “I view a gender traitor sometimes as people who are too feminine ... women who get giant lip fillers and fake tits, I'm like, gender traitors.” (Jordan, 51:49)
• Dating as a female comic: Jordan candidly explores her dating life, stating she's mostly into emotionally unavailable Irish Catholic men, struggles to be sexual post-breakup, and finds most options on Raya and Hinge insufferable.
  • “My vagina is pretty racist ... I love all people, but my vagina likes...Irish Catholic.” (Jordan, 60:35)
• Joy and masculinity:
  • “Any was saying that what makes a man gay is joy and being silly and joyful and enjoying things ... When a guy's too happy, you're like, this guy's gay.” (Christina & Tom, 49:47)

Public Farting, Discharge, and Other Bodily Realities

• The origin and celebration of the "Double Pipe Classic": Tom recounts the rare event of simultaneous burping and farting (at [24:19]), now performed as a couple for the first time.
• Cat dental hygiene & pet talk: Christina vents on modern vet advice (e.g., brushing cats' teeth) and the absurdities of keeping pets healthy.
• Napkin pants: Christina admits to using jeans as napkins, sparking a debate with Tom over dignity and the merits of towels versus napkin alternatives ([37:18]).
• Jordan on discharge and vaginal mishaps: Jensen references her special’s jokes about vaginal tearing and the difference between being able to handle penises vs. vaginas as a slightly masculine woman ([42:01]).

Absurd Dating Videos & Modern Romance

• The hosts and Jordan review a series of cringy, hilarious dating profiles—everything from men showing off thick pink penises to presidential candidates recruiting a First Lady.
  • “If that's a bit. He's my husband.” (Jordan, 59:58)
• Soft alpha vs. beta males: Christina and Jordan dissect Tom’s “soft alpha” energy—dominant but not a jerk.
• Why are men so gross online? Jordan remarks on the difference between types of men on various dating apps, and why men’s inner thoughts (e.g., wanting “titties on my face and on my willies”) can be repulsive and yet universal ([62:52]).

Women, Aging, and Cosmetic Enhancements

• Competing definitions of femininity:
  • Debate on fillers, procedures, lip flips, and the pressure for women to maintain youthful looks.
  • “You have to age. We have to age like Native American chiefs all together.” (Jordan, 52:00)
• Lizzo, Nelly Furtado, and body image:
  • Conversation addresses pop icons, weight, and whether anyone is truly happy “that large.”
  • “You can't be happy when you're that large. You just... it's not happy. I know it.” (Christina, 36:13)

TikTok, Outliers, and Internet Weirdos

• Christina’s algorithm: Instead of positive, aspirational TikToks, she curates a stream showcasing society’s outcasts and “underbelly.”
  • “I like to identify and highlight the marginalized communities...The outliers.” (Christina, 80:46)
• Classic YMH moments: Reviewing viral oddballs—farting legends, breakdancing taxpayers, and elderly Massachusetts racists.
  • “You want to hear this guy fart? Please say yes...It’s King Asper.” (Tom, 99:24)
• Accepting the "misfits" as the backbone of American internet content and humor.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On code-switching:
  • “You walk in, you speak to people differently. That's just a normal thing to do. I also think people just don't do it well, right? So when somebody does it well, they're like, what are you doing?” (Tom, 05:03)
• Defining “elite whites”:
  • “High-level whites really respect it.” (Tom, 10:52)
• Jordan on being a "gender traitor":
  • “You're a gender trader. That should be the name of your next special—Gender Trader.” (Christina, 51:04)
• On female comics:
  • “I also think that there's an inherently gay quality to all female comics—we are all a little dykey to some regard because we're going against the gender norm in the first place.” (Christina, 44:51)
• On unhealthy relationship cycles:
  • “If I keep doing this, I will die ... I need a year to just be Jordan.” (Jordan, 70:38/71:27)
• Dating preference honesty:
  • “My vagina is pretty racist...I love all people, but my vagina likes...Irish Catholic.” (Jordan, 60:35)
• On men’s inner monologues:
  • “Just a quiet old man going, I want nookie.” (Jordan, 62:48)
• Jordan reflecting on being raised by two “dads”:
  • “My mom is a dad and my dad is a dad, and you know what I mean? So it was two dads, basically...” (Jordan, 61:05)
• Tom on acceptance of men’s failings:
  • “Guys are, you know, we are what ruins life. Like, we're the provokers. We're violent.” (Tom, 77:48)
• On compartmentalizing friends:
  • “There’s guys that I’m friends with who I would never have at my house... but I’m still like, oh, that’s a good friend of mine.” (Tom, 79:07)
• Jordan on relationship prizes:
  • “What do I get if I stay single for a year? ... A crazy tool set?” (Jordan & Tom, 69:00)
• Tom on classic American conflict:
  • “You just feel like you're about to watch a beat down or something. [The guy says:] 'Just stay miserable, you fat.'” (Tom, 87:09)

Episode Structure & Timestamps

| Timestamp | Topic/Segment | |--------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:01–06:00 | Cold open, code-switching, "fully retarded" & cultural crossover| | 10:00–13:13 | Talking “elite whites”, communication strategies | | 16:26–21:50 | Absurd internet personalities & fart stories | | 24:06–25:33 | "Double Pipe Classic": couple’s first double pipe collaboration | | 31:01–36:41 | Modern marriage, kids, fat positivity, Nelly Furtado, Lizzo | | 39:17–44:51 | Jordan Jensen's background, philosophy, comedy identity | | 45:09–46:41 | Female comics & masculine energy | | 47:39–49:47 | Bro culture, cold plunge/sauna obsession & joy = "gay" men | | 51:03–52:23 | What it means to be a “Gender Traitor” | | 54:01–55:02 | Jordan's big movie role & actor lifestyle | | 56:12–68:08 | Relationship habits, self-sabotage, setting goals to stay single| | 71:19–73:33 | Menopause, shutting it down, and life post-romance | | 80:45–96:30 | Christina’s TikTok, the internet’s outliers, crowd-sourced oddities| | 99:00–101:10 | King Asper, "fart legend" tribute | | 101:46–end | Plugs for Jordan’s Netflix special, podcast, comedic sign-off |

Overall Tone & Takeaways

• The episode is blunt, silly, raunchy, deeply self-aware, and self-deprecating—characteristic of Your Mom’s House.
• Jordan Jensen’s presence lifts the episode into an honest exploration of gender, sexuality, emotional health, and why so many women (especially comics) default to masculine behaviors as armor.
• The group’s review of internet weirdos and cringe dating profiles mixes real disgust with affectionate fascination for humanity’s underbelly.
• Jordan’s determination to break her cycle of toxic on-off relationships, with group accountability and the promise of a “prize,” is both humorous and inspiring.
• The camaraderie & mutual roasting reflect the deepest bonds in comedy—a safe space to be totally real about what it means to exist in today’s culture.

Must-Listen Segments

• [05:03] Tom explains code-switching and "elite whites"
• [24:06] "Double Pipe Classic" as a couple
• [37:18] The philosophy of "napkin pants" (using jeans as napkins)
• [42:08] Jordan’s tales of vaginal mishaps and growing up with two moms and a “weird uncle dad”
• [51:04] Defining "gender traitor" and the evolution of feminine norms
• [62:52] The universal grossness of men’s thoughts captured in dating profiles
• [70:38] Jordan commits to a year without her toxic ex—if she holds out, Tom’s buying her a big prize
• [80:45] Christina’s alternative TikTok feed and discussion of online oddballs
• [99:24] The King Asper "fart legend" segment

For New Listeners:

If you haven't heard this episode, you'll get:

• A masterclass in irreverent, no-holds-barred comedy banter.
• Honest reflections on gender, dating, body image, and emotional growth.
• Jordan Jensen’s utterly unique blend of vulnerability and hilarious self-roasting.
• A window into the weirdest and most wonderful corners of the internet.

Check out Jordan’s new Netflix special "Take Me with Youh"; podcast Being Ian with Jordan; and follow her for more stand up and dating misadventures.

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