Ari Matti Is An International Problem | Your Mom's House Ep. 853

Summary

Your Mom's House Ep. 853

Guest: Ari Matti
Hosts: Tom Segura (Christina P. is on a girls trip)
Release Date: April 1, 2026
Theme: Ari Matti’s international comedy journey, language, culture shock, standup in Estonia and beyond, crazy road stories, and the classic YMH mix of raunch, absurdity, and dark humor.

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Episode Overview

This episode features Estonian-Finnish comedian Ari Matti sitting down with Tom Segura while Christina is out. They dive into the world of international standup, language barriers, adapting to new cultures, the realities and delusions of chasing comedy, wild road experiences, and the peculiarities of growing up and performing in Estonia. Interspersed with classic YMH video reactions, discussions of physical injury, the oddities of social media, and some trademark NSFW storytelling, the conversation paints a vivid picture of what it means to be an “international problem” in the comedy world.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Comedy in a Second Language, and the Global Journey

(Starts ~01:01)

• Tom expresses awe at performing standup in a non-native tongue and the added cultural hurdles:

  "You have to learn the language...but also understand culturally who you're talking to." (01:40)

• Ari discusses the linguistic and cultural realities of being from Estonia—a tiny, multilingual country hugely influenced by Western media:

  "If you speak only Estonian in Estonia, you ain't going nowhere...you gotta speak Russian, or Finnish, or English." (03:39)

• Both compare their experiences doing comedy in other languages, noting how outsider or partial-insider status affects stage presence and audience perception.
• Ari's initial comedy attempts in Estonia (performed by printing flyers and staging shows without knowing how standup really works) resulted in "panic attack, nervous breakdown." (07:45)
• Discovery of the American standup style and the importance of “sets” comes from listening to US podcasts (Rogan, YMH, Bill Burr) in Melbourne, Australia.

2. Building Confidence and Craft as an Outsider

(10:46, 11:37)

• Ari returns to Estonia during a comedy boom after the Soviet collapse—open mics have 400-500 people and he quickly rises due to “American-style” tight punchlines.
• Realizes the “outsider” view is actually an asset:

  "About five years ago...I realized I might have an advantage because I am an outsider. So then I started less trying to fit in and more trying to be like, what’s my thing?" (11:52)

• The importance of taking action and moving on when a scene stalls, rather than getting bitter or complacent. Tom summarizes:

  "People who take action ultimately...you have to have some combination of the two." (12:57)

3. Delusion, Failure & The Will to Continue

(15:47, 16:54, 17:46)

• Tom and Ari discuss the “right degree” of delusion in pursuing standup and MMA:

  "You have to have the right degree of it...too much is not good, none isn't helpful." (15:53 — Tom)

• For Ari, letting go of the “dream” in MMA made him better:

  "You let go of expectations and you focus on just doing it." (18:47)

• The obsession must be with the work, not the glory.

4. Wild NSFW Road & Youth Stories

(20:50, 21:43, 55:06)

• Ari describes a filthy American hippie girlfriend from his backpacking days—stealing, disability fraud, “eating ass” in hostels, and unexpected “pebble” incidents:

  "She shat over my hand, like two little pebbles, it looked like this squeak." (21:49 — Ari)

• Tom and Ari riff on how male vs. female audiences respond differently to comedy, noting how women can let comedians get away with repeating the same joke.
• Ari’s formative Estonian summer camp story—unfiltered sauna nights, nudity taboos, and a disturbing, darkly humorous account highlighting rural/urban cultural gaps:

  "Estonians and balls, pussy, everything out...the secret of life is definitely here." (55:06 — Ari)

5. Culture Shock: Medical Practices, Social Norms, and Social Media

(23:35, 27:00, 59:00)

• Segue into sketchy chiropractors and their “Latvia diplomas,” massage confusion, and one weirdly “holistic” chiropractor working Ari’s scrotum and talking about “lots of tension.”
• Ari exposes Estonia’s still-prevalent practice of blackface on national TV—explaining the show where even backup singers are painted:

  "We still rock it, baby...even the background singers are in blackface, we go hard." (29:37 — Ari)

• Differences in societal limits and political correctness, juxtaposed with Eurovision pride and Estonia’s single Black pop star.
• Disaffected take on the overstimulation and exhibitionism of the internet and social media:

  “I think something’s coming...we gotta be like, this shouldn’t be public.” (58:57 — Ari)

6. Physical Injury and Violence: Stories from MMA and Video Reactions

(48:09, 50:09)

• The dangers of fighting—devastating injuries observed in the ring and the cautionary tale of a sweet “hillbilly” MMA-trained friend who, after one drunken night out, accidentally killed a man with a head kick:

  "It's manslaughter...six years." (50:30 — Ari)

• Realism about the consequences and unpredictability of physical altercations.

7. Iconic Podcasting Moments & The Power of YMH

(39:35, 41:03)

• Both reminisce about the “Robert Paul Champagne” era, how tracking down such oddballs marked a shift to what’s possible with podcasting:

  "That marked, like, a new era of podcasting for me. I realized, oh, now that’s what’s possible." (39:58 — Ari)

• “No network...would have ever happened.” (40:10 — Tom)

8. Pop Culture, Fame, and The Comedy Scene

(34:03, 36:02, 62:01, 65:12)

• Chatter about Austin’s weird celebrity residents—Alex Jones, “Liver King,” the absurdity of their behavior.
• The outlandishness of modern fame, media reach—Joe Rogan as a “global media figure” with a strange life, and Ari’s path leading him to the Mothership and Kill Tony in Austin.
• Final notes on body image, aging, and the unattainable—Brad Pitt at 62 compared to Tom’s own body journey, and the inevitability of “maybe going back to fat.”

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On being an outsider in comedy

  "I always felt like, God, I wish I was American. ... But, about five years ago, it clicked—I realized I might have an advantage because I am an outsider.” (11:37)

• The reality of chasing stand-up

  "You gotta be obsessed with the work to get success in something.” (17:22 — Tom)

• On letting go:

  "When I let go of the dream, I got actually pretty good...you let go of expectations and you focus on just doing it.” (18:47 — Ari)

• On social media overload:

  “There’s just too much of it...I’m definitely envious of people who don’t have accounts. It’s definitely more healthy than watching this for four hours a day.” (59:27, 60:11 — Ari and Tom)

• On physical injury:

  "I'd rather lose my legs [than have a brain injury]." (48:36 — Ari)

• On wild gigs and sketchy promoters:

  “He wouldn’t let me go to his address...and he had a little plastic bag. Don’t worry about it, he says.” (54:23 — Tom)

• On the “YMH effect” in podcasting:

  "You found this insane lunatic somewhere in New York…and you made a whole thing about it. That marked a new era of podcasting for me.” (39:58 — Ari)

• On Estonian TV’s approach to blackface:

  “Even the background singers do blackface, we go hard.” (30:10 — Ari)

• On delusions of fitness:

  "Every day I'm like, in my 50s, I am Arnold, right?...It has to happen." (63:49 — Ari)
  "If it hasn't happened by now, it's not happening." (64:13 — Tom)

• On the cycle of body image:

  "[Ron White says], '...with you, you were just fat. No one ever expected anything.'" (67:22 — Tom)

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Funniest/Most Memorable Moments

• Ari’s first foray into standup: “I never saw a white guy do it, so I thought I had to be Black to do standup.” (06:46)
• Ari’s “pebble” story about fingering a girl’s ass in a Cambodian hostel. (21:49)
• The horrifying Estonian sauna camp anecdote about kids, nudity, and not realizing a girl was mentally challenged. (55:06–57:38)
• The running gag about “plastic bags” as a universal red flag for oddballs. (52:07–54:49)
• Extremely candid reflections on violence, MMA, and accidental tragedy involving a friend. (50:09–51:08)
• Tom revealing Ron White’s utterly savage “no one ever expected anything” comment on Tom’s weight loss transformation. (67:22)
• The deadpan banter about Estonia’s blackface and the Eurovision singer “killing it” for Estonia just by virtue of being the only Black man in the country. (31:47)

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Key Timestamps

• 01:01 — Discussion starts, Ari’s background and language/culture in Estonia
• 07:45 — Ari’s first disastrous standup attempt
• 11:37 — Finding your voice as an outsider
• 15:47 — The helpfulness (and dangers) of delusion in standup and MMA
• 21:49 — The infamous “pebble” ass-eating story
• 29:37 — Blackface on Estonian TV
• 34:03–36:02 — Austin’s odd celebrity encounters (Alex Jones, Liver King, Rogan)
• 39:35 — The “Robert Paul Champagne” YMH podcasting milestone
• 48:09 — Injuries, brain trauma, cautionary tales
• 55:06 — Sauna camp story / Youth sexual misadventures in Estonia
• 59:00–60:30 — Social media overstimulation, jealousy of social media abstainers
• 65:12 — Comedy Works, Denver is “bad for you” but amazing
• 67:22 — Ron White’s roast of Tom’s weight loss glow-up

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Final Thoughts

Ari Matti’s raw honesty, wild stories, and outsider perspective fuel an episode that’s both bluntly hilarious and quietly insightful about migration, comedy, masculinity, and the modern world. For fans of YMH’s blend of gross-out humor, sociological curiosity, and the behind-the-scenes grind of comedy, it’s a must-listen (with some parts not for the faint-hearted). Ari’s path shows the sacrifices, delusions, and revelations that go into building an international comedy career, all wrapped in the uncensored YMH package.

Transcript

[A]

Well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. These are good cameras.

[B]

Hell, yeah, dude.

[A]

These are, like, good cameras, dude.

[B]

Look at those triceps. Oh, you see, it's all natural.

[A]

You see horn missing a. You see a horse missing a shoe. It's right here, dude.

[B]

All right, welcome. Welcome to an episode of your mom's house. Christina's out on a girls trip. That sounds fun.

[A]

Where?

[B]

She went out west, I think, to crochet and. And whitewater rat, whatever chicks do. I don't know.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I'm jealous. But this is good to be here, man.

[A]

Yeah, to be here. Yeah. I love it.

[B]

You stay up late when. When no one's home, you know, thank God I don't have any rules. I just stay up late.

[A]

But you got kids, though.

[B]

I know. So I tell them. I'm like, all right, we're all going to bed, and then I don't.

[A]

And you stay. Hang out at the east wing of the house.

[B]

Then I. I just stay up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Dude, I'm so excited. I mean, I've obviously run into you in the. At the club a bunch of times, but I never got to spend that much time with you. I think, first of all, I have to tell you, I think, personally, I've always thought it's remarkable that somebody does stand up in. Not their native tongue in another country. I think it's really crazy. I really think it's crazy. I remember. I'll tell you, I remember this. Like, this would have been. Jesus Christ. It's like 15, 16 years ago. I was. I was writing on a pilot for Comedy Central when they were a thing, and Kumail Nanjiani was one of the other writers. And I was like, wait, so, like, you grew up in Pakistan? And he was like, yeah. And I'm like, And you do stand up here? Yeah, it's like, yeah. I'm like, I.

[A]

How did he also do stand up in Pakistan?

[B]

I don't think so.

[A]

It's a bit different.

[B]

He started here.

[A]

It's a bit different then because you have one point of perspective, the outsider perspective, I guess.

[B]

Yeah, you're right. But what I'm saying is, like, I get, you know, a. You have to learn the language. You have to master your. A second language. But also you have to kind of start to really understand culturally who you're talking to. Right.

[A]

And who. Like, how you're coming off.

[B]

Yes, it's.

[A]

You know, they always say in therapy that's, like, a common thing they say, like, if you're really in a rut in Your life, you should learn a new language because you discover, because you. You can kind of become a new person.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

You know, it's like when you move to a new place. Remember when you were a kid and you, like, switch schools?

[B]

Sure. All.

[A]

All the fact shit that all the other guys knew from you about you,

[B]

and it's all gone.

[A]

So it's a new slate. But then it starts to slip. Yeah.

[B]

Like, oh, you do suck.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do suck.

[B]

Yeah. But, like, I see I have a perspective in that I've done full show in Spanish. But I realize, though, it's not the same as what you've done, because I grew up, first of all, in a house where they were speaking Spanish, and I have cultural insight. So when I perform, even though they're like, you're not 100% US, they get. They're like, oh, yeah, you get what we are. You're partially us.

[A]

The lucky thing about Estonia is such a tiny country. It's that establishment is its own language. But we're super influenced by Western media.

[B]

That's what I keep hearing by everybody. Everyone super influenced. It's like, I grew up.

[A]

I grew up on Chapala.

[B]

Really? Shows, movies. Yeah.

[A]

So it's like. It's like. Like, Americans like to use the term, you know, bilingual.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Like, it's an achievement in Estonia, we just say, not. If you speak only Estonian in Estonia, you ain't going.

[B]

No, you're going nowhere because you got

[A]

to speak Russian or Finnish or English.

[B]

You speak all those.

[A]

I speak a little Russian. I mean, Russian is like Spanish. In Texas, if you want to get

[B]

shit done, you have to know it.

[A]

It's like, yeah.

[B]

How close are Estonian and Russian?

[A]

I mean, different Alphabet. Totally, totally different. We're like, Finnish, Hungarian, more.

[B]

Okay. And so you speak Finnish as well?

[A]

Finnish as well. Yeah, I'm half Finnish.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That seems like a very, like.

[A]

Oh, it's all fucked up.

[B]

When I do. When I do European tours, I always do that thing because I've always liked languages where I'll be like, you know, I want to. I like to be a good guest and be like, hey, how do I say please? How do I say thank you? You know, little things. Right. And then you just try to say. And you can tell that people are like, oh, that's very nice of you to. As a guest.

[A]

Oh, dude, when. When Estonian. When you say, when an American says something in Estonian, they just this rock hard.

[B]

I love it. I was in Copenhagen and I was like, how do I say whatever. And the lady was like, don't worry about it. And I go, well, I mean, I want to try. And she's like, you really don't have to. And then I go, I mean, could you just tell me. And then she goes, okay. And then she says. And I go like this. And she was like, you just stick to English. I was like, okay, thanks.

[A]

That's so funny.

[B]

But that was like, don't even worry about it here. I don't feel. I feel like Finnish. And it's going to probably be the same, right? It'd be like, don't even try.

[A]

Don't even.

[B]

Yeah, well, how do you say like, please in Estonian? That's not too hard. Yeah, that's reasonable.

[A]

That's not too bad.

[B]

Thank you. Yeah, okay.

[A]

Yeah, we got those. We got those in there.

[B]

And. But you did stand up in Estonia.

[A]

Well, interestingly enough, there wasn't like. That was one of you, like we talked about before the show. I used to do a little bit of mixed martial arts and I. Bananas. Getting kicked in the. Dude, dude. Getting kicked in the head because you're a big dude. So I'm getting kicked by big dudes.

[B]

They're like, I need to practice on a big guy.

[A]

I could take a woman. Yeah. I can kick and I've kicked women in the head. It feels. It feels like something.

[B]

It's a relief. I get it. It feels like this is what I've. Yeah, yeah. This is everything.

[A]

It feels very correct.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

To kick a woman in the head makes total sense.

[B]

Yeah. Have you fought with men in the ring?

[A]

Yeah, sparring dude. And they always go, go, you know, Cuz it's disrespectful to be like a pussy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They take it as a disresign of disrespect.

[B]

I could see that.

[A]

So I'll kick the shit out of you.

[B]

Yeah. And then they're like, hey, easy, bro.

[A]

Yeah. But I won't. But then. Yeah. So anyway, I was like traveling. I did some backpacking and then I moved to Melbourne, Australia, which inherently has a great comedy scene, which I was unaware of at the time.

[B]

But this. After you start. You already started doing stand up or.

[A]

No, I tried it in a. I didn't know what it is. So I watch Eddie Murphy. I'm. I watch Dave Chappelle. I'm like, I guess I gotta be black, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I never saw a white guy do it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Then I remember I saw Louis CK do it and I was like, oh, fat slob of shit. Can Do. Because when you watch black.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because when you watch a black guy do stand up, it seems like there's, like, cool. Because. And it looks like it's, like, pouring out of them. But Louis CK Is kind of like. He presents it. He also kind of presents it in a way that he's, like, making it up, but not really.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Present. There's a callbacks. There's. There's all this. I mean, Eddie just sings and dances.

[B]

Yeah. Yes.

[A]

It's like a package. I don't got.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So then I saw. Okay. Ginger Slo of does it. Maybe. Maybe, maybe.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So then I just did. I. I printed out flyers, and I did an. I did three shows of an hour without ever touching a microphone.

[B]

This is. That's for your first time.

[A]

Yeah. Cause I didn't even. I thought. I thought you just go. I thought you just go. First crowd was. Let me, like, 60 people on my friends, and I had, like, you know, a panic attack, nervous breakdown, of course, because I've never even talked to them. Like, even the way it sounded was so insane. So by the third show, there was maybe 12 people left. And then in the third show, I remember halfway, about 20 minutes, and I go, you know, let's just go home, because nothing's happening.

[B]

Yeah. I don't.

[A]

I don't have a narrative. Yeah. I'm just saying stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But it looks so easy.

[B]

Right?

[A]

So then I, like, abandoned that idea, kind of. So then I moved to Melbourne. They have a comics lounge there. They got workshops, open mics. I started listening to podcasts. You were on Rogan. I remember because Rogan commented on the ufc. That's how I even found out. He has a podcast.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I was like, oh, the commentator has a podcast. And I remember you, Joey Diaz, Bill Burr, and you start talking about sets. I was like, a set. Really. Opener. Closer. Yeah. And then it. It starts, like. Then I started realizing. Oh, it's like a whole practice thing. You can't just charisma your way out of it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, so then I started doing. Yeah. Open mics in English. That's when I kind of started. Toured around Asia a little bit for, like, two years, you know, featuring. Doing stuff like that.

[B]

Fucking A, dude. Really.

[A]

And then I moved back to Estonia, where the time I was away, local scenes had started. So then I go to Estonia, I go to an open mic, because it's such a new art form that, you know, the floodgates are open. After the Soviet Union collapsed, the. Culturally, how Estonia started, like, developing Was so rapid rap and braves and Western media and stand up. It's all like. It's all ramping up. So open mics would have like four or five hundred people.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And are people performing in both Estonian and English?

[A]

Only Estonian? Actually, there was a couple of English guys there too, but I would say the local guys were mostly Estonian.

[B]

But you come back with like, tons of confidence, I bet, right?

[A]

Yeah. But I did it in English, which, if we speak the same language and I put on a different language now, there's a filter.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Between us. And it's kind of bullshit. So then I started doing it in Estonian. And within maybe like two or three years, I moved to theaters because it was like, there's nobody there doing American style stand up. Local guys were still storytellers and all that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I just had the reps. I had the reps because in Estonia, the open mic would happen every two weeks. I did 20 sets in Melbourne.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

So I had that mindset of like. And those Estonians, because they started there. They were also. They knew sets and all. They already were educated much more than I was. But there's still kind of like flubbering around of, what is this? They're very indulgent in stage time because you get to 20 minutes. There's only four guys. Yeah. You could. 20 minutes. So there. But I'm hitting like, punch lines after punchlines, like, American style.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So then I did that, but I still. I felt like I need something more. And it was kind of you lacking. It's like. It's like being stuck in a small town doing stand up. Yeah. Who are you following? You know, who are you? So it started being a circle jerk with the other guys there. I love them. They're my best friends. But still, we needed something new. So then I moved to Canada. Vancouver. I moved to London. I did a stint in New York just to expand myself a little bit.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And that was during the. It was about five years ago when I started realizing that I always felt like, God, when I looked at American stand up, I was always like, man, I wish I was American. You know, I wish I could fit in. I wish I could, like. I wish I could be one of the guys. If you watch, like, Bill Burr, he's such an American man.

[B]

So, yeah.

[A]

All the references to sports, I remember. I listened to your album. Thrilled. Great album. Great fucking album. It's a killer. But it's so American. You talk about black people, you talk about the culture, so I always felt left out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But about five years ago, it kind of clicked for me that I realized I actually might have an advantage because I am an outsider. So then I started pressing more. I started less trying to fit in and more trying to be like, what's my thing?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How do I look at.

[B]

It took you all that to kind of figure that out for sure.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So when you. After those stints, Vancouver, New York, is that was the next stop, Austin after all that?

[A]

Well, then, no, then I was kind of in a rut. I went back to Estonia for another two years. I just ran out of, like. Yeah, what did. Where do I. I don't know if you know what's happening out there right now in comedy, if you're at open mics. No one.

[B]

Nothing's happening really.

[A]

You know, nothing's really. There's no ladders. You know, of course, there's now the mothership. There's the Comedy Store, which you did. You know, there was a. There's industry around, but you know how it is. There's a lot of people ing Seattle who are murderers, but you just don't get that opportunity. And you just got to move. You got to. And I was looking for my spot. I just couldn't find it. I was also a little offensive, so sometimes I would get in trouble with local scenes.

[B]

Yeah. But the big thing, like, the big thing is that when you are in those places where you're like, it's not happening. It's the people who take action. Right. That's like the big. Like, when I look back on, like, where I started and like, those group of guys, a lot of times we sit around, like, people that I started with, and you go like, remember so and so and so and so and so and so. And you're like, that guy was so funny. He was so funny. And that. The thing is, they just, at one point were like, well, I guess that's it. You know? I mean, they didn't go, like, I gotta find the next thing. And the reason other people did succeed is because they were like, well, I'm either moving or, you know what? I'm gonna. Oh, is that the person I need to talk to to get the thing? I'm gonna go talk to them for sure. Like, those people who take action, ultimately, you have to have some combination of the two.

[A]

Welcome to the End, everybody. It's a storytelling show.

[B]

Me and my comedian friends, we're all

[A]

telling true and really terrible stories into a toddler's face. Wild face. Sometime regretful. Every std. Horrible. I'm gonna fuck you up. And amazing stories.

[B]

We just got started.

[A]

I'm gonna stop the terrorists.

[B]

You're in trouble, Mr. Comedy.

[A]

Huh? It's gonna be a good night. It's gonna kill us all. Come on. About to be fucked.

[B]

You should be in jail.

[A]

Hey, man, are you okay? I actually do well, you don't fucking

[B]

talk to me, okay?

[A]

I'm a disciple of the Lord. Not in business part.

[B]

How did I get here?

[A]

How did this happen? That's a good question. You guys ready to start the show?

[B]

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[A]

I think I always had a little bit of delusion in me too.

[B]

That helps.

[A]

That's with MMA and all of it.

[B]

That helps.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You have to have the right degree of it.

[A]

Right degree of it, yeah.

[B]

Too much is not good, but none is actually not helpful either.

[A]

And bitterness is.

[B]

Is like.

[A]

It's like a big thing.

[B]

That motherfucker.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

[B]

You, when you were doing this MMA shit, which is so insane, and I'm getting throttled by these, like, massive, whatever, crazy fighters, you must have racked up some serious concussions too, right?

[A]

I never was clean out, never clean out, but I definitely had headaches, falling asleep.

[B]

Bell rung. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a crazy thing to do, man,

[A]

but an interesting thing. Very similar to in standup or whatever you do in life. It's like I was very, like, I was very driven, but I always looked for the shortcut. That was my thing. Like with mma, I was always. I knew I was in trouble. When I was in the middle of class, I remember my teacher was talking about arm bar defense, and I'm, like, daydreaming about my entrance song. You know, I'm thinking of the accolades, right. Not of the actual work.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You meet a lot of people in stand up, too. They want to be the fame. They want to be the cool guy who got it. Yeah, bitches, you know?

[B]

Yeah. That's not.

[A]

But they're not actually thinking about the emotion behind the set that they're doing that night.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They're thinking about the accolades. That was me in mma.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Whereas in comedy, I love the work, I love sets, I love jokes, so I can focus on that. But in mma, I was like, man, I just want to get these badges.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I just want to get.

[B]

I mean, that's the per. Like, you summarized it perfectly. You got to be obsessed with the work.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To get success in something.

[A]

Absolutely. So I was looking for, like, short but interesting how confidence sometimes works is when I kind of started letting go of that dream. You know, you start meeting, like, fighters who are, like, living in their car. They're like, seven and four, and the brain is starting to get mushy.

[B]

Mushy? Yeah.

[A]

You know, you're like, oh, I see, like, the CT setting in. You know, I would meet people like that in Thailand especially. They're, like, on their last leg, so they're doing all these, like, Thai fights, you know, they're like, somewhere in a bar, you get a 500. You know, you live in the gym.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And that's a life I couldn't do.

[B]

No.

[A]

So that's. I realized that's a bridge I cannot cross, you know? Whereas in comedy, dude, if I was still in hostels, if I'm. If I get a feature spot, I mean. Yeah. If I get to riff 20 minutes, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm in. And I realized in mma, that's a bridge that I'm not willing to cross. And then, interestingly, how confidence sometimes works is when I let go of the dream. I got actually pretty good, like, the last year when I was already dabbling in comedy. But also, I went down to Sparrow still, because I still love the sport. That's when I remember my coach was like, now you should start, because I already had those losses. And.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It was all.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He said, now you should start, because something clicked in your head.

[B]

So interesting.

[A]

You let go of expectations and you focus on just doing it.

[B]

Yeah. And you weren't in your head as much about it either. Right.

[A]

Absolutely. Oh, absolutely.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was loose.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I wasn't worried about what's the new day bringing. I was just enjoying the moment.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it really taught me a lesson of like. Of like sometimes. Yeah. If you. If you become present and enjoy the work of what you're doing, then you can really like, succeed, you know? Yeah. That's amazing.

[B]

That's amazing. Dude, I forgot to play our opening clip. We always play an opening clip. So I'll play it for you here and then we'll go into it. You do not eat ass.

[A]

I don't eat no ass. Why become that? Who was Randy?

[B]

Don't bring anyone mother into this.

[A]

Your mom in the well. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura and Christina P. G. Welcome. Ghost Trip with the host. Ghost Trip with the host. Ghost Trip with the host.

[B]

Sam. There it is.

[A]

He was drinking out of a bucky skull.

[B]

Of course he eats ass. He's like, I'll eat it. You'd ask 100. Yeah. It.

[A]

My tongue needs to go in your. At all times.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just to establish, like, what type of things this will be.

[B]

This is going to be. Yeah. This is the relationship.

[A]

When I was in. I was backpacking in Cambodia. I had a sweet American angel. She was a filthy. And she was like a hippie. It was like my first hippie girlfriend. Yeah, she stole, you know, she didn't give a. Yeah, she didn't steal from a corner store. She. She stole like from Whole Foods. You know, she's like the system. She's got disability. But she didn't really have a disability. But that was the fraud.

[B]

Sure. She's a criminal. Yeah.

[A]

Filthy American girl from like San Diego. The government.

[B]

Fuck you. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I remember. I was like, like, I was like. We were like up at the hostel, you know, on a bunk bed when there's a guy along for the ride, you know, I'm like banging her, eating her ass. And I'm like fingering her ass. I'm fingering but going to ass. Which later, you know, we found out that's not a good combination.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so I remember she like shadowed over my hand like two little pebbles. It looked like this squeak.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I just put him under the pillow, kept banging.

[B]

That's cool.

[A]

I don't give a. Yeah, it is what it is.

[B]

Yeah. But you also definitely want to establish I am this type of guy.

[A]

Yeah. Getting ass is fun.

[B]

I mean, I. Yeah, I don't think I've tasted.

[A]

Maybe. I probably tasted, but.

[B]

But not known.

[A]

But It's a girl.

[B]

It's different.

[A]

It's. It's beautiful.

[B]

And also it's like the taste and the smell are different, you know?

[A]

Yeah. Oh, this smell is. Yeah.

[B]

You know, the smell lets, you know something's there. Something's. There's an issue here.

[A]

I remember even when. When I found those pebbles, we could both smell it and we had a moment where we, like, looked at each other and then I just kept going. And I remember she was like, I guess this that sort of dude. This is that sort of dude.

[B]

Did that love end in Cambodia?

[A]

No. No, we went to Australia.

[B]

Oh, you guys were. You guys. Oh, yeah.

[A]

We kept rocking this. My sweet angel.

[B]

Yeah. And then faded out there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. You have a girlfriend now?

[A]

No.

[B]

No. Single out there on the road. Arimaddy.com for tickets.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Meet him, go out there.

[A]

Luckily, well, or unluckily, it's all men in the audience. Yeah, all men. All men.

[B]

My whole career, man, it's always dudes.

[A]

All dudes. You ever see a Mad Rice show, though?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, it's. I know. So I know.

[A]

You can do the. You. You can do the same joke three times in a row. Women just love it.

[B]

I went to a venue the week after him, and the guy at the venue was like, you know, it's crazy. I go, what? He goes, I forgot we had men in this city. And I go, what are you talking about? He goes, matt was here last week. He goes, it was like 85 women. He goes, and we. I didn't know we had hot women here. Yeah. He was like, it was unbelievable.

[A]

Crazy.

[B]

Yeah, really crazy.

[A]

Shout out to my right. Bringing out the.

[B]

Is Estonia. Like, so I've been obsessed with like these foreign chiropractors because, like, we have our own standards here in the U.S. right? And if you live here, you're like, that's the way things are done. And then you realize other parts of the world are doing shit like this. Like, this guy's getting his ankle adjusted. I don't know what kind of medieval contraption that is, but look at this guy's face when he does this. The guy on the. On the bed,

[A]

Also that phone number.

[B]

He sits and he's like. I mean, that's. He's. He's scared. He's like, you just did something to me.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

Would that be in Estonia? You know what I mean?

[A]

Nah, this is some Middle Eastern shit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Big ass fan in the back too. Holy shit.

[B]

Industrial fan.

[A]

People are sweating their ass off. Nah, I've never Had a chiropractor.

[B]

Never.

[A]

Actually, one time I did have, like, some back adjustment or something, and I had, like, infection in my back or, like, inflammation. Inflammation? No, I had, like, inflammations. And I go to a doctor that. My friend said he's like, a cool doctor. And chiropractors always have those diplomas on the wall and you read them. It's like one week course in Latvia.

[B]

I know. It's like, dude, I went to a chiropractor in LA who was highly recommended, and they were like, this guy's. He's great. And I go there and I mean, I made the appointment. I want to be there. He's like, like. You know, a lot of people talk about chiropractors, and he's like, it's. And this is like, before we start. And I'm like, yeah, no, I mean, like, I made an appointment. He's like, yeah, I mean, I'm a. I did this much school. I did all this. People make their jokes. And he's like, I'm a real deal. And I go, yeah, I mean, okay, I know. I want you to do this. And the whole time he was, like, telling me how qualified he is. And what. Sometimes when the. If you go to a chiropractor, they will, like, smooth out an area before they adjust it, I guess.

[A]

Yeah. Warm it up.

[B]

Yeah. He's like. He has, like, some cream and he's like, putting it on. I was like. I made a comment. I was like, oh, yeah. I go, this massage feel great. He stopped. He goes, I'm not giving you a fucking massage. And I go, jesus, just. Whatever you're doing feels good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He's like, yeah, I'm prepping it to make the adjustment. I'm like, hey, man, you're the most aggressive motherfucker I've ever met.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

But he was great. I mean, he was great at his work. Yeah, but, like, they. A lot of them feel like. Because people. Chiropractors will get the title doctor, right? And so people are like, yeah, but you're not an md.

[A]

Yeah, I get that.

[B]

They get. They get sensitive about it.

[A]

Yeah, I get that. And also, does it really work?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, me neither.

[B]

I don't know. I know that I felt better that day.

[A]

I mean, this guy hurt the. On my back. And then I. When I was leaving, he was talking to me about my sexual life. He was like, really? Yeah. He was like. He was like.

[B]

He was. You eat ass. He was. Yeah, a little bit.

[A]

He was like. He was like an Overall, like, holistic chiropractic guy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I remember he kept, like, squeezing. I'm like, my back is starting. He kept squeezing, like a part near my scrotum. He was like, squeezing. He was squeezing. He goes, lots of tension. I go, am I getting hard or like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He goes, lots of tension. Sexual energy pent up. You need to figure it out.

[B]

You need to figure it out. I was like, are we going to figure it out here together?

[A]

I'm like, yeah, this is a different type of doctor.

[B]

This is like. This is a third world bachelor. She doesn't look better, by the way.

[A]

Never does she?

[B]

He's like, yep, I'm gonna get us from us.

[A]

Wow. Thank you. She does look compressed. She looks like she's in the wrong resolution.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You know when a TV is like 16 and 9?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's a 4 and 3.

[B]

I don't know that she's gonna walk out of there being like, that was worth it.

[A]

Have you seen a video where there's a guy with like a. And it like. Like the machine.

[B]

Yes. And then they lower them down and they're like, yeah, those. I love those. I watch those for hours.

[A]

I watch for those hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Because you realize these are just like made up contraptions.

[A]

Totally made up.

[B]

That ankle thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There's no way, like a doctor be like, that's a good idea. Put your.

[A]

I saw that one video of a guy being in, like a barber shop and he gets like. You know, sometimes barbers will also do like a little thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the guy gets paralyzed. He like snaps the neck and the guy's on the check in the video. It's in the video. Yeah, because he goes and. Yeah. And then. And then like an article comes up. He got paralyzed.

[B]

Holy fuck.

[A]

Yeah, he had like a. It's like there's some sort of a vein that you have here that. That, like, can get hit by a ligament or something. And if you snap it, it, like cuts it off and you're done. If I got a haircut and I come back paralyzed, dude, I'm pissed.

[B]

I'm pissed. And you know, like, the settlement's going to be like four grand. Oh, yeah.

[A]

That's the best part about these chiropractors in America. Listen, if I hurt you, this is bad. Bad in Bakalakashan or whatever the fuck this is with those diplomas, dude.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That office ain't even there tomorrow.

[B]

No. He'll be like, yeah, sorry, I'll give you a free one. Bad. Yeah, it's Over. It's fucking over, dude. Yeah, there's a burger place. Have you seen this burger place in Argentina? It's all over social media.

[A]

What I'm here at what people say is Argentina's best burger. Burgers. The burger has been quiet.

[B]

Let's give it a taste test.

[A]

Time to put this big, black, juicy burger in my mouth. Oh, that is succulent. That is good. That is black. Who's the chef, though?

[B]

I mean, I feel like people are like, do they know what they're doing? Of course they know what they're doing.

[A]

Of course they know what they're doing.

[B]

Of course they know what they're doing. They're getting people to go like, I want to go to big burgers.

[A]

I want to get big burgers.

[B]

Yeah, this is.

[A]

You know, Estonia does blackface and all that still.

[B]

They do.

[A]

We still rock it, baby.

[B]

That's awesome.

[A]

And a crazy black face, too.

[B]

Really? I get shows and everything.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Live television. National television.

[B]

No way.

[A]

Because we have that thing, like, where you, like, what's a TV show where you impersonate, like, famous singers? Do you have, like, one of those

[B]

where you impersonate famous singers? I'm trying to think if that's a thing. I don't know.

[A]

So in Estonia, there's this show, and it's like. It's like James Brown.

[B]

Oh. And someone will be like, I'm gonna do the.

[A]

Even the background singers of blackface, we go hard.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

See if you can find that. That sounds really.

[A]

Yeah, Just go, Estonia blackface and Babush will come up.

[B]

Holy.

[A]

Oh, yeah. And we see. Well, okay, go. Estonian TV show. Holy. This is. This is like.

[B]

Oh, it looks like that one right there probably is from it, right?

[A]

Yeah, that's exactly that show.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Look at it. Look at it, look at it. Look at him.

[B]

Madis Auto.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He loves it. Yeah, that's the TV show.

[B]

Because no one there is like. They're like, yeah, this is. This is great. He looks like the guy now.

[A]

Yeah, it's like, spot on.

[B]

Yeah, they're like, what are you talking about?

[A]

Yeah, we have a.

[B]

If he didn't put it on, he wouldn't look like James Brown.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

It's like.

[A]

That doesn't make no sense.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it's great. That is great. That's the guy.

[A]

Oh, that's so funny. He's gonna be so pissed that I did this. He's gonna be so.

[B]

Hey, he looks just like James.

[A]

You know what I do love? They did the black face, but not like the weight or nothing. They're like. No, no, no, no.

[B]

Just the face.

[A]

Like, do I need a fat suit? No, no, no, no, no. We just need the face.

[B]

Just the face. And real black.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not like spray tan. Like, black is coal.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. That's unbelievable.

[A]

Yeah, we don't give a. Wow.

[B]

That is really. Yeah, that's something else, man.

[A]

Yeah, it's not like a thing, you know?

[B]

And that would. Would that be, like, airing today even?

[A]

Oh, this was, like, last year. We love it.

[B]

How.

[A]

And we have three black people. We have three.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, we have three.

[B]

Are any in comedy?

[A]

They should be.

[B]

Yeah, they should.

[A]

We got one guy, he's from Aruba.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He moved there in the 90s to Estonia and then took part of our, you know, Eurovision, you know. Yeah, that's our thing.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Eurovision.

[A]

Yeah. So he represented Estonia and the. Eurovision. Won the damn thing.

[B]

He won it.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Because he's black, dude. He's like, these can't do.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

He killed it.

[B]

Eurovision is massive.

[A]

Massive. We love it, we need it, we want it.

[B]

Do you look forward to it every year? I don't, but have you gone to it? Like, you actually gone? Nah. They hosted in a different place every year.

[A]

Or who wins?

[B]

That's who gets to host in their home country.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

So they went to Estonia, you know,

[A]

it's funny, you know, like, two years ago, they gave it to Ukraine, all because it's like a political thing. But then even Ukraine was like, you know, maybe we do it in Baku or something.

[B]

Yeah, let's move it. Yeah, Yeah. A dude. Did you see a local guy? But speaking of people we know, Alex Jones announced that he's like, the show is shutting down. Did you see it?

[A]

His show?

[B]

I think so, yeah. This is what it says here.

[A]

We're getting. Oh, we're getting shut down. We have. We beat so many attacks and. But finally we're shutting down, like, the middle of next month.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Insane. What happens, people, you know? Yeah. So this is the fake auctions. All of it's happening right now.

[B]

So what are you gonna do?

[A]

You're launching a new thing or what are you doing? Fine. All right, well.

[B]

Are you leaving?

[A]

Is that why you're saying all this? Yeah. Okay. I am exhausted. How do you know Alex? 52.

[B]

52.

[A]

Bless you. You want water? He's got water. You good?

[B]

You're right.

[A]

I'm tired. Yeah.

[B]

No, we're winning. So we're winning. Well, so there'll be a new thing, maybe.

[A]

Wow. Is she like, drunk or. Probably.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Probably.

[B]

Probably.

[A]

Like, does he talk like that normal?

[B]

I mean, he talks kind of like that normal kind of like that.

[A]

I know that. He said, I'm tired.

[B]

And then he goes, we're winning. Okay, sure, man. Yeah, there's a. There'll be a new.

[A]

Doesn't he live in Austin? He did, yeah.

[B]

I don't know if he still does. He did. I've never seen him in town or anything, but. Yeah, people have said he lives here.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

Yeah, it's been a roller coaster for that guy.

[A]

400. Yeah. Texas is like the place where a lot of lunatics move, you know? Yeah, yeah. I saw the Liver King at downtown one time. I saw him when he was looking for Big Man. We was looking for Joe Daddy when he was looking, you know, like he put. Did you see any of those videos? Yeah, you know, he was like putting, bro. He was at the Four Seasons in Austin for like two weeks.

[B]

Staying there.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Apparently there was like a report of the cleaner after. It was like shit everywhere, you know, Cuz he does like, crazy whatever, like enema coffees and all that.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And those are videos of him like doing like, starting a fire on the balcony of Four Seasons. Yeah, yeah. He had like a. His own, like, sticks and shit and he would like dance around the fire on Instagram Live as a Four Seasons customer. If I'm on the next balcony with my wife, this is my special weekend. And my wife and I look over the balcony and I see the wolf hat and I see this guy around. Yeah, get him.

[B]

Yeah. No, you gotta go.

[A]

He stayed there for the whole time.

[B]

It's refund time for sure.

[A]

You gotta go. And they didn't kick him out.

[B]

That's what I remember when this guy was like, I'm all natty. And you're like, yeah, for sure.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. 100% a man. Yeah. It's like crazy.

[B]

Yeah. He was making those videos like, I'm. I want to find you.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to fight Joe Rogan. Yeah. What the hell, dude?

[B]

So he was arrested. Oh, at the Forces.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Holy.

[A]

Yeah. And he posted the whole thing, like on video.

[B]

So was the arrest for the threat? Yeah. Really?

[A]

But the threats were weird. He was like, I'm gonna, like, I'm gonna consume you. I'm gonna make love to you. I'm gonna kiss you. We're gonna become one, man.

[B]

It's so weird. I've told him this before, but it's so weird. To know Joe as long as I've known him and, like, I just knew him as another comedian and go on the road and do shows and that. He's like this global media figure. It's so strange.

[A]

Not even global media figure. He can decide what's happening to Iran.

[B]

That's fucking crazy. That's what I mean, like, the amount of influence the guy has. And then he's just like, you know, hey, man, you want to try this. This coffee I just got? And you're like, yeah. It's fucking weird, though.

[A]

I know, it's crazy. Yeah. He's got the Navy SEALs, he's got security. Yeah, it's crazy.

[B]

It's very strange.

[A]

But he doesn't stress at all.

[B]

I. I think he has a really good perspective on things.

[A]

Really? Yeah. It's surprising.

[B]

People don't know, like, what we see and how the guy navigates it all, but he's just always just pretty even keeled about stuff.

[A]

Because I remember when that guy got. Who was that guy who got shot in the neck?

[B]

Oh, Charlie. Charlie Kirk. Yeah.

[A]

That day I go to the Mothership. Joe's back there riffing, and I'm like, yo, you gotta. You gotta hide.

[B]

I know, I know.

[A]

They're coming.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He doesn't care. He's like, ah.

[B]

And he says. And I kind of believe he's like, I don't read anything.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I don't see what people say. I'm like, it's probably best.

[A]

Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah. Probably best as a podcaster to reach that height.

[B]

That's nuts. Yeah. And then the people that come on that. You're like, who's on this? Fucking presidents. And, you know, I mean, like, it's like, it's such a strange world.

[A]

It's like when you do Rogan, it's like, yeah, let's do the 2 o' clock one at 12. I got prime Minister of India.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We're going to solve the energy crisis.

[B]

Unbelievable. It's a weird. It's got to be weird, right? That you've found your way here and that this is like what you navigate now.

[A]

Yeah, for sure. It is weird.

[B]

Yeah. Wait, what? So was here after Melbourne?

[A]

No, this was like when I went back to Estonia. Then I did a stint in London, I couldn't get no traction. And then my good friend Sam. Talent.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Good buddy of mine, he came to Estonia to do some gigs. That's how we met. And he was like, just come to Austin, Check it out. I came here for like two weeks. And then I auditioned for Adam. He get at the mothership. You know, you do the audition. I got passed. I was like, this is the only thing I got going on for me. And then next week, I did kill Tony, and then Tony off at the regular ship.

[B]

And then it just went from there.

[A]

Yeah, it was awesome. Thank insha Allah.

[B]

How's the road been treating you?

[A]

Oh, my God. Club is so much fun.

[B]

It's fun.

[A]

Holy shit. It's fun. Yeah, it's great. I love being on the road.

[B]

That's amazing.

[A]

I love it. Yeah. It's so funny, dude. Yeah. And you know what? Your mom's house. I remember when I was like. I was like, drinking stolen coffee the way I would. I used to steal coffee.

[B]

Is this from. Because of the hippie girl?

[A]

She kind of taught me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She taught me the ropes. She kept telling me, no one's gonna run. Like, if you steal something, no one's gonna run. Yeah, no security is gonna run after you.

[B]

You know, it's amazing.

[A]

So I go to Seven Eleven, and you put the. In Melbourne, they had a $1 coffee. Right. But you put three of those motherfuckers in the Slurpee cup with ice. You make a really nice. For $1, you get pa, pa, pa. Yeah. And then you just walk out and they look at you. Of course the cashier knows what you're doing. I've been there for 45 minutes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I remember I was drinking one of those coffees and I listened to your mom's house, like, sporadically. But I remember it was that episode where Robert the champagne.

[B]

Robert Paul Champagne. Yes.

[A]

You finally got in contact with him.

[B]

Yes. Dude.

[A]

And I remember that episode. For me, I realized in my head what podcasting is going to do now, because although Joe was already big and politics was getting involved and, like, big stuff was happening in politics, like. Like money was coming into podcast.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That connection that you found this insane lunatic somewhere in New York.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you made a whole thing about it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That marked, like, a new era of podcasting for me. I was like, oh, now that's what's possible.

[B]

Fascinating, because that's, I think, in our lure of this show. I mean, that's got to be the hall of fame. Yeah, for sure.

[A]

Because there's no, like, no network. Like, before podcasting. That would have never happened.

[B]

No, never. Never.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No.

[A]

12 meetings in a row where you try to tell about this guy who keeps wanting to get black men to suck him off.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And get beaten up by. And you're like, we're gonna. We're gonna fly him out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We're gonna talk to him. I'm going to explore this world.

[B]

Yeah. And it's been a crazy relationship.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And now you have so many, like, big figures. Of course.

[B]

Well, in the show. Yes. But crazy people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's our specialty.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

Is finding lunatics. But he was the most. He was our golden goose, I would say, for sure.

[A]

Yeah. Like, I remember in the park drinking my stolen coffee and listening, and when he picked up the phone, I remember I was like, oh, my God, this is a new era. This is a new era.

[B]

I felt like that was a surreal thing. It's funny because I forget about that, but when I think about it, I was like, I don't think I. I had. I haven't had that level of excitement.

[A]

You know, it was like, Mark Merrill and Obama. Robert Paul Champagne are two of the biggest things to happen in the podcast.

[B]

That's so true. Yeah.

[A]

The two total opposites. The sitting president and Robert Porsche.

[B]

Who would love the sitting president.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

He would have been like, huge. Obama.

[A]

Beat me. Beat me.

[B]

Yes. Beat me. Piss on me. Yes. I have a couple of these that we always watch, which is. You get to watch them and you tell me whether it's horrible or hilarious. You decide.

[A]

It's like somebody, like, getting hurt.

[B]

I mean, it could be. I haven't. I haven't seen them, so I don't know. We're going to watch. They pull them and then you decide.

[A]

Oh, dear.

[B]

Okay. There's a guy walking out of a stadium. He just yelled at people.

[A]

Somebody help me.

[B]

Both knees.

[A]

Those acl mcl. It's all torn. It's blown up. Yeah. He's never walking again.

[B]

Holy. And it's the. The fury with which he's walking that led to that, you know, like, if he was.

[A]

You got to stretch.

[B]

He was so angry. I feel like. Cuz look at when they buckle here.

[A]

Yeah. Both full extension B. That's where you got to stretch. You know what always blows my mind when I see these, like, altercations in America when there's like, someone's freaking out the rest of the people who don't move is insane.

[B]

It's. Is it? You think it's different?

[A]

I don't know. Maybe. Maybe it's just my thing. I have an acute sense of, like, whenever I walk into a bar or whatever. You know who has no idea of that? Women. Women have every video of World Star, there's a woman like in the middle of that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Just getting knocked the out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I have an acute. As soon as I walk into a

[B]

bar, Acute sense scanning the room and everything.

[A]

Yeah, this. This guy.

[B]

I can see potential threat.

[A]

I can see that. Yeah, yeah, I can see. You know when you see this guy and he doesn't have friends. Oh, here we go.

[B]

You just got to know where he's at. Yeah.

[A]

And it's. There's like a lady in front of him, like, just sitting there, like, oh, I hope nothing. I know I'm getting away as soon as possible.

[B]

Oh, for sure.

[A]

Yeah, we.

[B]

You're right. That is a male thing. You have to develop a sense for. Like, this is believe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I also love that lady recording goes. Immediately she sees this, she goes, somebody help him. Somebody please help her. First thing is just like, oh, somebody help. Oh, somebody help.

[A]

Also, he fucked up. Like, if he was a nice guy

[B]

and that happened, people be running over now.

[A]

You're kind of on your own.

[B]

It's the worst scenario. He got loud, was like, fuck you and fuck you. And then both of his knees go out.

[A]

And there is something funny about being like, fuck, Fuck you. Fuck you. Click. Please help me, someone.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, he's done. Dude, that guy is fucking done. Okay, here's another one. Oh, it's. Propane tanks are good to sit next

[A]

to whenever you see dirt and propane tanks.

[B]

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. This poor old guy. That was just a rogue bull. I was totally expecting a propane tank to explode for sure.

[A]

That's like very India or some shit. It's like a propane tank and then a bull.

[B]

I just want to sit and enjoy the afternoon.

[A]

Hey, that's a delight. Holy shit. Oh, yeah, man.

[B]

Really? By the way, guys, great choice on the music.

[A]

Did you guys do that? The music. That's crazy. That's a rough day.

[B]

I feel bad for the old guy, though.

[A]

Nah, no, I don't want you to feel bad for me if that happens.

[B]

Another good music choice. A guy walking on the end of a barge. Oh, God.

[A]

Oh. Oh. Did he get his head?

[B]

Oh, no, he got on there.

[A]

Oh, my.

[B]

Okay. Funny. He escaped. It was funny. It was close. Close calls are always funny.

[A]

That's funny. There's like a cultural thing happening here.

[B]

It also feels like whoever's driving that boat is like this guy. Because that's like. It doesn't feel like that. Accidental dams. Full on. Too full on, bro. Like, look how close this is. I mean, that would have been just a collapsed skull completely.

[A]

Yeah. Complete Absolute. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

What's the gnarliest you saw in your fight? Injury wise.

[A]

Injury wise.

[B]

Like, did you ever see something just devastating?

[A]

I've seen the Debu effect snap. You know, this goes half and it just hangs off the. Like, you see the. It just hangs. I've seen those. I've seen two of those.

[B]

I was at the.

[A]

Conorman. Conorman.

[B]

Or I was at the.

[A]

Oh, the corner one.

[B]

I was at Connor and I. And then I saw. And I saw it because I was so close. I saw it before the. The crowd reaction, you know, Like, I. I saw it and I was like. And then, like, it was like, beat, Beat. Like, people see. It was gnarly, man. Yeah, gnarly.

[A]

But in. I would see gnarliest thing outside of mma. I've seen, like, accidents. I remember one time when I was living in Thailand, I was, like, driving around my scooter. You know, that's how you drive around. And they drive around, too. You know, they have, like, a family of seven on one scooter, you know, that's another thing, by the way, if you're experiencing new things, like, have you ever done, like, bungee jumping? You know, people always go to Thailand and they do, like, bungee jumping.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I always want to tell those people, like, their restaurants are on scooters.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How far you think the. Checking the bungee rope.

[B]

Not a lot of regulations here.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, there's a lot of I wouldn't do. And I remember in Thailand, I even started getting oblivious because, you know, they don't have traffic lights. They don't do nothing. They just go. There's no left. Right. You just go. Yeah. I remember thinking, like, oh, this is like a beautiful thing. That I started thinking, like, why do we even need traffic lights? Look at this. This is like a beautiful. And then, like, five minutes later, I go, I see a truck pulled over. I see baby shoes, blood. Baby shoes, blood. Family of five exploded heads. There was like, a hand, like, in the bush. And then, like a guy. Listen. And then, like, a guy in the middle of the road, like, some. I don't know if it was an officer or some guy, some parking lot guy, and he's like. He's like, sweeping the blood and the

[B]

body parts with his shoe. We gotta go.

[A]

We gotta go. So then I go home and I Google. Yeah. Number one place in the world where, like, people die in accidents is Thailand and India, of course. Every day, all day.

[B]

And it's just like everyone explodes. Keep going, keep going. Yeah.

[A]

And it was like yeah, Baby shoes and, like, body parts and a tiny arm in the bush. And then the scooter under the truck. And then the truck.

[B]

All right, let's watch this next clip. Oh, this is gonna be Narciss.

[A]

Yeah, I did.

[B]

That's out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I like when someone goes, yo, it's not too bad. Yeah, he got up. Dude.

[A]

I would say brain injury. Always the scariest.

[B]

Scariest.

[A]

I'd rather lose my legs.

[B]

Yeah. Than a brain injury. Yeah. Yeah. 100. The craziest. Because, you know, on Instagram, you scroll, you'll just see, like, oh, here's a confrontation on the street. And. And it's always the. It's the crack to the cement that makes you go, like, oh, my God.

[A]

I knew a guy back in my day when I used to do mixed martial arts. He was a sweet guy. He was, like, from hillbilly Estonia. Spoke one language. So he's, like a nice, sweet, hillbilly guy. He never go to clubs or nothing. And then me and the guys were always like, you got to do something, you know, you can't just. You got to let loose. And then I didn't see him for a few months, and I asked our mutual friend, I go, have you seen Sim? You know, and he's like, oh, yeah, he went to a nightclub. First time ever in a nightclub. Bitches, bitches, bitches. And he's smoking cigarettes, he's doing shots. And he's a big guy. He's a big guy. He's doing shots, smoking cigarettes. First time getting all the stimulus. Remember the first time you would be in a nightclub and you see tits and shit and you're drunk, and you're like, wow, this is the world. Wow. And he's in the cigarette room talking to a girl. The girl's boyfriend shows up. He goes, you want to go outside? And. Because men only fight when there's women around. Yeah. That's the rule. You know, whenever you see men fight, it's because there's around. Yeah, the. Is what they're fighting. So. So he's, like, amped up. He's like, sure, let's go. That's because he's an MMA guy.

[B]

He is.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, let's go outside. So they go outside, the guy throws a punch and he head kicks him.

[B]

Sim, my friend, kicks the other guy.

[A]

Yeah. But out of panic. He's not a bad. He's a hillbilly. Nice, sweetie patootie. He's not a bad guy, but he was drunk. Probably stimulus the bitches. It was a bad environment. So he head kicks the guy and the guy hits the head on the pavement. Six years. He died. Yeah, he died. The guy died.

[B]

He killed the guy.

[A]

Yeah. It's manslaughter. Yeah. Six years. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

So he's like, I'm never going out again.

[A]

I don't know. He's probably out now, but I don't know, he's probably somewhere stroking a dog somewhere.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Not in civilization.

[B]

And that was like his one time he.

[A]

One time in the city. One time under the city lights. And then. Have you ever known anybody who's got a traumatic brain injury and they're different?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Scares the living.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I had a friend who jumped off, like, of around. Around. So he had to jump off a bridge into a water because there's around. If it was all guys, we'd be like, hey, we don't know what's under the water.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So he jumps off the bridge and he. Of course, if you're on a bridge, right? Yeah. You would think the deepest part is in the middle. That's how puddles and stuff works, is it not? So he goes to the middle. But sometimes if it's an active river with boats, they put a separator, a pavement, you know, so the boats don't cross. So the middle part has this thing, and it's like so deep. So he jumps off the bridge, papa hits his head. And I didn't see him for a few years, and I saw him at, like, I saw him before going on stage one time. I see him outside. He's got like a little plastic bag. You know when you got a plastic bag with one thing in it?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You want to be like, hey, there's a pocket.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But you don't know about the pocket. So he's got the little thing. And I go, hey. But I heard that something happened, you know. Hey. And it's like. It's like a dog looking at you. Yeah.

[B]

Hey, like that.

[A]

I go on stage, a bomb. Because, you know, I'm like, it's in your head.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That scares the living. I'd rather see you. Like, no arms, no legs.

[B]

Yeah, I can still riff. Yeah. Yeah. The plastic bags. Always the tell, too. I had a comedy promoter one time. This is obviously in the early days. And this guy's like, you want to do a gig? And I go, yeah. He's like, all right, go to this. He's going to go pick up this guy. I go pick him up. He's like, yeah. So the guy just, like, is like, yeah, go to Melrose. And, like, Wilcox, just pull over on the side of the road. I'm like, all right. And then I just see this guy. He's wearing shorts and, you know, like, an old shirt. He's got a plastic bag. And I'm like, are you. He's like, yeah. He's like, you're gonna. You're gonna drive to the gig? I go, okay. Whole way to the gig, he's telling me how the gig work. I'm like, I know how the gig works. He's like, I want you to go up there. You say this, you say this. You say the next show's coming up. Because when I give you the light, you need to extend your finger to acknowledge that you saw the light. I don't want you to head nod. You have to extend. Like, he has all these weird rules. And then I do the gig.

[A]

How did you pay? In chocolate coins.

[B]

I mean, I was expecting it. He gave me the money. And then he goes, how much did you spend on gas, like, to go to the gig and back? Because it was, like, out of town. And I go. I mean, I didn't calculate. You know what I mean? Like, you're like, I just drove to the gig and back. He's like, I think I. I'll give you ten bucks for the gas. And I go, okay. He gives me 10 bucks. And then I go, all right. Where do you mean to drop you off? He goes, just over there on the side of the road. I go, I can pull up to your place. And he goes, just pull over to the side of the road. I go, okay. And I go, hey, what's in the bag? And he's like, what? I go, you got a plastic bag with you? What's in the bag? He goes, don't worry about it. I go, okay.

[A]

That's his little plastic bag.

[B]

It was his little plastic bag, which had God knows what in it. And then he's like, I guess I can throw you some gigs in the future maybe. But you got to clean it up. You've been cursing too much up there. And I go, okay.

[A]

He knows about curses. Yeah, but he doesn't know about pockets.

[B]

And he did. And he wouldn't let me go to his address. Like, he wouldn't let me.

[A]

So funny. So there's like a. Yeah, he wanted to keep it like a system. It's like a system.

[B]

Spooky guy.

[A]

Damn spooky. Yeah.

[B]

And there's. He's probably still there. I'm sure he's still. He was. This was, like, in 2009. And he was like. He looked like he was about like in his 60s.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, And I feel like he's probably still running these rooms.

[A]

A little plastic bag.

[B]

His little bag in his shorts, his sandals and being like, point when you see the light.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

Okay, man.

[A]

Damn. Spooky. I used to go to summer camp and there was this. All my friends would be like, hey, you know we have sauna night every Friday at summer camp. We have sauna night.

[B]

Sauna night.

[A]

Yeah, we do mixed, you know. Yeah. Estonians and balls pussy everything out, you know? Mm. Oh, yeah. We don't like do that whole oh

[B]

my God cover up thing.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And how old are you?

[A]

I'm like a kid. I'm like maybe 14 or something.

[B]

And everyone's dicking balls are out, dude.

[A]

I would be like 12 and my mom's friends would be like bush out in the sauna. And I would lie that, you know, in the sauna there's levels.

[B]

Yeah, you know. Sure.

[A]

Up is more hotter. And I would lie that I'm too hot. Then I would sit right in front of the.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Of my mom's friends. Like, the legs are here and I look behind. Like I'm like, I can.

[B]

That close.

[A]

I can almost feel the heat. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

On the back of my neck.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you're like 12, so you don't actually know that. I want to like pound this puss.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But the secret of life is definitely here. And I want to be here as long as possible. Yeah. So I saw all kinds of. So we're at the summer Friday, it's like sauna night. And I didn't go because I went to the sauna at the gym. But the guys are like, nah, you really, you really gotta come. There's this crazy chick, she's. She's like fingering at the sauna. You can, you can her in the mouth and all that. But these are like. This is like countryside summer camp where the city kids and the country kids collide. And the country kids are telling me, you can fuck this girl in her mouth. You know, she's like fingering and you can do whatever you want. She's like an animal. She's at the sauna. We all take turns, you know, I'm like, oh, I'll check it out. So I go there and in the wardrobe I see she's full on mentally retarded.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

They're just. They're like putting ice cream on their cock. I don't know how they're making her do it, but like giving her a little lollipop with the gum in the middle, you know, they're like, so the word of, you know, I'm like, I'm good, you know, and then, and then later I go, you know, she's kind of like. Did you guys notice that she's a little. She didn't have the face. Yeah, but she would all over.

[B]

Yeah. And they're like, she's an animal.

[A]

No, she don't even know what is. You know, she don't know what her's for. So I tell, I tell them, you know, they go, yeah, yeah, she's fun. You know that. She's always been like that.

[B]

They didn't even know that that that was a thing.

[A]

Yeah, that was the thing. They just thought she's a fun girl that just wants to get banged out.

[B]

She's like, this is a lot of attention. I get a lot of attention.

[A]

I get a lot of attention and good snacks later.

[B]

So. Yeah. Holy. So you passed on it, though?

[A]

I passed on.

[B]

Good for you, man.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like a good man.

[B]

Maybe she'll run for president.

[A]

I'm ready to run for president. 2028 as a moderate Democrat. He looks like a door guy from the mothership. And we need to make America more retarded again. Oh, so he's like cracking jokes.

[B]

Yeah. He has the self awareness, but not

[A]

enough to point the camera in the middle. You know how the camera is like teetering off and what are you looking at?

[B]

Maybe his script.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know.

[A]

See, this is what I've always thought about what's happening with the Internet. You know how like, like there's rules what you can do in public space. You can't be. No jacking off anymore.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But for sure there had to be a time where everyone was doing crazy shit in public spaces until our culture and civilization evolved to a point where we go, hey, put the cock away where the kids are at.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So then that was accepted with the Internet. I think something's coming at some point where we gotta be like, this shouldn't be public.

[B]

Right. You know, this should be a private thing. Yeah, yeah, I agree.

[A]

Because something's coming. Because this is getting like crazy.

[B]

Well, we're overstimulated now with, with this kind of shit. It's just, it's. Remember like when you discovered like porn is on the Internet and then you're like, oh, there's like a site you can go to. And then all of a sudden it's like, now there's 18.7 million videos.

[A]

It's all porn.

[B]

It's all porn. And then it's just. It's like. It's over. It's overdone. And then, like, craziness is now. It's overdone.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There's too much of it.

[A]

Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

[B]

Like, at a certain point. I think I'm very jealous now of the people who are like, oh, yeah, I don't have. I don't have social media. I don't have accounts. I don't see what you're talking about, to be honest.

[A]

If you're outside. If you're not a. If you're a. You gotta have social media. The only fans. I get it. You're a. Yeah, but if you're like a guy who works at, like, a regular desk job.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why you post it? It's weird to me.

[B]

Just. You mean just look for entertainment then, but don't post? Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Like, if you're not entertained, like, if

[B]

I didn't have to, would you? No, I don't think I would.

[A]

Dude. What? Post what? Like, what. What is happening? You know?

[B]

I agree.

[A]

Yeah. It's like, definitely. I. I'm definitely envious of those people.

[B]

I really. I. I have friends who obviously, they're not in entertainment. And I'll be like, oh, I put it on my Instagram and they're like, I don't have that. I'm like, you don't have that? Like, I don't have an account.

[A]

Yeah, I have friends who literally hit me up. They're like, update your email. I'm like, email. But it's definitely more healthier than watching this for four hours a day.

[B]

This can totally melt our brains. Totally melt our brains. I don't wanna. What is this?

[A]

What do you got?

[B]

I'm there giving. There's all kinds of crazy shit in here. Let's see. This guy's interesting. He posts. He used to post, like, inspiring things. Like, he would go. He would do things like, you know,

[A]

three signs that you are a psychopath. If these three signs describe you, you should probably go find a psychologist.

[B]

Now. He's clearly reading, but he's also just trying to, like, share, you know, some type of information.

[A]

You know, you have a lack of empathy. Empathy is a normal human emotion. And if you're a psychopath, you don't have the ability to feel pain for other people's suffering.

[B]

Now, the point is, I'm trying to show you. Is that he's just trying to like, spread awareness. Awareness about a message. The message in this case is just, there are psychopaths out there. Here's how to spot one, right? So you're like, okay, that's a. That's your lane. I'm trying to teach. And then all of a sudden, you just started posting shit like this.

[A]

I want to give you kisses all the way down your stomach. My lips meet yours. Incredible body. Then keep kissing you through the aftershocks until you pushing my head away and pulling it back at the same time.

[B]

So it's like.

[A]

Also, look at the last video. You know what I noticed immediately?

[B]

The shitty front porch thing.

[A]

When you see the blinds.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they. There's, you know, the one, like, the sides are up.2. You see? Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A lot of peeking.

[B]

A lot of peeking.

[A]

A lot of.

[B]

Oh, that's a really good observation.

[A]

It's a lot.

[B]

He's always like, yeah, and those are eye level, for sure.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. You can see one is level. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

That's a really good observation. Yeah.

[A]

This is bad.

[B]

I mean, those pants. What are those? Knockoff Versace? This is just weird. Everything's weird about him.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

He's a strange dude.

[A]

Damn. Life is crazy.

[B]

Life is crazy.

[A]

And he shredded and oiled up.

[B]

All oiled up. And letting you know, when I see

[A]

a body like that, I'm always like, bro, I've been going to the gym for 16 years and nothing's going on. I know. And you're just like.

[B]

And this guy is just like, I want to kiss your. And look at me. Yeah.

[A]

An absolute God.

[B]

I feel like this guy. I don't think he trains never.

[A]

He don't count sets. He don't count reps. One of the crazy. I'm doing, like, a Dorian Yates schedule, and nothing's happening.

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

Nothing.

[B]

The craziest body I've ever seen on a dude. One of them. And I was at a pickup basketball game, and I was like, so what are you. Like, how often are you in there training? He was like, I don't lift. And it was just like Adonis. Like, just. Ah, Yeah. I was like, what?

[A]

I see homeless people in Austin.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Incredible Greek gods.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just next to the highway. Never even counted a rep. Never got up early. Just a fucking.

[B]

But does some part of your brain. Some part of your brain, like, still hold on to hope? Like, it'll get there one day?

[A]

Of course. Every day I'm like, in my. In my 50s. I am Arnold, right?

[B]

You're like, it's just gonna happen.

[A]

Then it has to Happen? Yeah, it has to fucking happen.

[B]

I feel like I go through the cycle of, like. Like, what do I even do this for? And then there's certain days you're like, one day it's gonna be awesome.

[A]

It's gonna be giant. I'm gonna show up like the Avengers, and it's just.

[B]

It's delusions.

[A]

Full on delusion. Like, if it hasn't happened by now, it's not happening.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not happening. All right, go see ari on tour, arimaddy.com for tickets. Where the. Where you cut. Where. What's coming up? Where cities are you going to? You don't know.

[A]

Arimadi.com.

[B]

all right? You guys figure it out. You get tickets there.

[A]

Oh, I'm doing San Diego.

[B]

San Diego, okay.

[A]

La Jolla, Comedy Store.

[B]

Great, Great. You're gonna have so much fun in San Diego. Maybe you'll run into your hippie chick. That's where she's from.

[A]

Here she is. She also. She fell off of a camel, so she's got a little.

[B]

I mean, it's two of the things we talked about.

[A]

She's a little.

[B]

A little out there now. More.

[A]

You know when you see the Facebook posts.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And when you click Read more. A separate tab. You know when face.

[B]

That's her now.

[A]

You know when Facebook is. You, like, this is a lot.

[B]

Dude, you're working the fucking best club in the country.

[A]

What?

[B]

Comedy Works downtown.

[A]

I love comedy works.

[B]

Yeah. Have you done the downtown? I have done it. The fucking greatest.

[A]

It's great. It's very. It's. It's actually bad for you.

[B]

It is bad for you. If you. If you were like, I'm starting stand up. If you'd move from, like, Estonia to Denver and just been like, this is the only place I work, I'd be like, that's gonna fuck you up.

[A]

First time I did Denver, the weekend I got back to the Mothership to do gigs, I showed up with a leather suit because I think I'm delirious.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Because I'm like, I got it, I got it, I got it. I didn't even have a set.

[B]

You're like, everyone who goes in. Finally an audience that gets it.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's the best.

[B]

It's a trick.

[A]

Crazy.

[B]

It's a trick. These are great places. You're doing great clubs, dude.

[A]

Thank God.

[B]

Congratulations on all your success.

[A]

Thank you. Are you going back to Phat soon? Like, ever? You think it's gonna slip because it's in your bones?

[B]

No, it's in my, it's in my bones, it's in my heart, it's in everything.

[A]

Yeah, it's crazy that.

[B]

I mean, I opened a bakery, so we'll see.

[A]

Chicha Bomba.

[B]

Yeah, it opened. The big place opens in a month.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

So if I'm there a lot, I don't think there's any way around it because.

[A]

Because it is crazy that you did like the reverse of what, like guys usually do when, like, women marry their husbands, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because you were like, tub of ass.

[B]

Do you know what, do you know what?

[A]

When I, when I used to watch ymh, you were a big boy.

[B]

Ron White said to me the other day, it's pretty funny. It sounds like a humble brag, but it's just so funny the way he said it. I walk into the, to the green room, he goes, he's like, oh, look at, he goes, look at James Bond over here, right? And I go, hey, man. He goes, he goes, you look, you look good, man. Handsome. And I go, thanks, buddy. Like, just like a nice compliment, right? And he just, he's just looking at me. He goes, you know, the thing's different about you. He goes, you look back at my old stuff, when I was fat, you could tell there was a handsome guy under there. He goes, but with you, you were just fat. He goes, no one ever expected anything. And I go, is that the end of the sentence? And he goes, yeah. He goes, it's just a surprise. He goes, anyway, you look good, man. I go, thanks, man. He goes, you were just fat.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know who looks great? I watch F1 with Brad Pitt.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How does he look like that?

[B]

He's 60.

[A]

He's 60.

[B]

62.

[A]

Absolutely shredded. Yeah. And a beautiful man.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And not look. Is it. How is this 60?

[B]

It's amazing.

[A]

When I was growing up, 60 was with. When you're 60, was. You had a special chair, a rocking chair, and your kids would like put the.

[B]

It's a new world, dude. It's a new world also. I mean, this guy, let's just be honest, some people are just blessed also.

[A]

So blessed.

[B]

Like, just blessed.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Your jeans, your face. I mean, he's also, I'm sure had great maintenance these last 40 years.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, but yeah, no, he's not a. That's not a regular 62 year old guy for sure.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, he looks, he looks.

[A]

And he was never fat.

[B]

Never fat. Not like me. No. No. And maybe I'll be very fat again soon.

[A]

We'll find out at some point, it's gotta. The. The brakes are gonna fall off.

[B]

Well, also, it's just, like, it's in you. It's in me. And maybe I'll be, like, super into it, too, and be like, this is really what I'm supposed to be. Super gross. All right. Thank you, bro.

[A]

Thank you so much for having me.

[B]

We'll see you guys next.

[A]

You guys, Bye. Just glass. Look at the metal. Just glassing, just glassing, Just glassing, just glassing. Flip it along,

[B]

Flip it along, Flip

[A]

it along, flip it along Just glass.