Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807

Summary

Title: Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Hosts: Christina P. Pazsitzky, Tom Segura
Guest: Brad Williams
Release Date: April 23, 2025

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Episode Overview

In Episode 807 of "Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura," the hosts welcome comedian Brad Williams to discuss a myriad of topics ranging from celebrity antics and social media controversies to representation in media and personal anecdotes about relationships and fetishes. The episode is a blend of sharp humor, candid conversations, and insightful commentary, offering listeners both laughs and food for thought.

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1. Celebrity Antics and Ghost Crew

[02:12 - 03:01]

The episode kicks off with a humorous recount of Dennis Rodman’s infamous trip to North Korea. Tom Segura shares his take on Rodman's over-the-top behavior:

Tom Segura: "Dennis has his own challenges. He means well. They were like, this guy's out of his mind."
[02:26]

Brad Williams adds his own flavor to the story, highlighting Rodman's antics and the surrounding chaos.

---

2. Fart Fetish and Fart World Official

[09:59 - 12:38]

The hosts delve into the niche world of fetishes, focusing on the "Fart World Official" OnlyFans account, which boasts over 150 models. Brad expresses skepticism about the authenticity of the farts, prompting Tom to challenge the ethical implications:

Tom Segura: "Mila's part of Fart World, which is an OnlyFans account... Fart world changes. 14 charges. 14.95 a month to watch all the models fart."
[09:59]

The conversation navigates the fine line between humor and the exploitation of sensitive topics.

---

3. KTLA's Offensive Tweet Incident

[13:02 - 15:00]

A significant segment addresses an incident where KTLA, a local news station, inadvertently tweeted an offensive racial slur due to a technical error. Tom and Brad discuss the fallout and express their disbelief:

Tom Segura: "They just tweeted out the N word..."
[13:16]

The hosts critique the station's handling of the mistake and the broader implications for media accountability.

---

4. AI-Generated Down Syndrome Influencers for Adult Content

[23:24 - 25:05]

The conversation shifts to a disturbing trend uncovered by the LA Times, where AI is used to create fake Instagram influencers with Down syndrome to promote adult content. Christina and Brad condemn the exploitation:

Tom Segura: "These fabricated Personas are then used to sell explicit content exploiting the fetishization of disabilities."
[23:24]

They discuss the ethical boundaries breached by such practices and the role of technology in perpetuating harmful stereotypes.

---

5. Representation in Media: Snow White Remake and Dwarf Actors

[59:33 - 63:56]

Brad Williams raises concerns about the upcoming live-action remake of "Snow White," criticizing the decision to use CGI for dwarf characters instead of casting actors with dwarfism. Christina emphasizes the importance of authentic representation in media:

Brad Williams: "They CGI'd dwarfs. Isn't that more offensive than hiring actual people?"
[59:38]

Tom agrees, highlighting the missed opportunities for inclusivity and proper portrayal of marginalized communities.

---

6. Open Relationships and Transparency

[91:33 - 94:25]

The hosts explore the dynamics of open relationships, discussing the balance of transparency between partners. Christina shares personal experiences, while Brad echoes similar sentiments:

Christina P.: "We have specific rules that we follow... privacy but no secrets."
[52:43]

They delve into the challenges of maintaining honesty and understanding in non-traditional relationship structures.

---

7. Promotions: Brad Williams’ Comedy Special and Death by Dwarf Hot Sauce

[Multiple Segments]

Throughout the episode, Brad Williams promotes his latest comedy special, "Starfish," and his new product, "Death by Dwarf Hot Sauce." These segments blend seamlessly with the main content, adding a personal touch to the episode.

Brad Williams: "Go to Bradwilliamscomedy.com for tickets... Death by Dwarf Hot Sauce. It’s 10 out of 10."
[Multiple Timestamps]

---

8. Social Media and Influencer Content

[Multiple Segments]

The hosts critique the prevalence of influencer culture on platforms like TikTok, especially focusing on the authenticity and ethical considerations behind viral clips and content involving marginalized communities.

Tom Segura: "We don't need a middleman through the promoter."
[08:00]

They highlight the blurred lines between genuine expression and exploitative content in the digital age.

---

9. Fetishes and Sexuality

[Various Segments]

Tom, Brad, and Christina candidly discuss various fetishes, including foot fetishes and adult baby play, blending humor with honest conversations about sexuality and personal preferences.

Brad Williams: "Men in general, you guys don't get treated nicely... Give it up for the men, everybody."
[70:35]

---

10. Audience Clips and Safety Incidents

[77:00 - 89:58]

Towards the end, audience-submitted clips of accidents and safety mishaps are reviewed. The hosts humorously critique the incidents while emphasizing the importance of safety.

Tom Segura: "The screaming should replace the Wilhelm scream. It's so authentic."
[81:36]

They navigate the balance between humor and the sensitivity required when discussing real-life accidents.

---

Notable Quotes

• Tom Segura on Dennis Rodman:

  "Dennis has his own challenges. He means well. They were like, this guy's out of his mind."
  [02:26]

• Brad Williams on KTLA Incident:

  "We don't need a middleman through the promoter. Yeah."
  [08:00]

• Christina P. on Political Correctness:

  "Stop letting me always play with you when you got some super fine, a baddie."
  [26:03]

• Brad Williams on Open Relationships:

  "If there's that imbalance there."
  [93:36]

• Tom Segura on Fetishes:

  "If you want this, this is what you're doing. If you're not participating, then you're full of get out of here."
  [28:22]

---

Conclusion

Episode 807 of "Your Mom's House" continues to deliver the hosts' signature blend of humor, candidness, and insightful commentary. From dissecting controversial media decisions to exploring the intricacies of personal relationships and fetishes, Christina P., Tom Segura, and Brad Williams engage listeners with their unfiltered perspectives and comedic flair. The episode not only entertains but also prompts listeners to reflect on broader societal issues, all while maintaining a light-hearted and humorous tone.

---

Note: This summary intentionally omits advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections as per the user's request, focusing solely on the substantive discussions and interactions within the episode.

Transcript

[Tom Segura]

Alaska, Idaho and Montana. Get ready. My Come Together tour is coming your way this week. Thursday, April 24th, I'll be at the Sullivan arena in anchorage, Alaska. Saturday, April 26th, I'll be at Idaho Falls at the Mountain America Center. And then Sunday, April 27, I'll see you at First Interstate arena at Metra park in Billings, Montana. Get tickets [e-mail] tour. Thank you.

[Christina P.]

Well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's.

[Tom Segura]

Foreign.

[Christina P.]

This episode is brought to you by Lifelock. Not everyone is careful with your personal information, which might explain why there's a victim of identity theft every five seconds in the U.S. fortunately, there's LifeLock. LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity. If your identity is stolen, a US based restoration specialist will fix it, guaranteed, or your money back. Save up to 40% your first year by visiting lifelock.com podcast terms apply. You know what I'm saying? Honestly, you know what I'm saying?

[Tom Segura]

Like.

[Christina P.]

You know what I'm saying?

[Tom Segura]

Like this.

[Christina P.]

You know what I'm saying? My mom.

[Tom Segura]

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

[Christina P.]

By that same French excellence, you know what I'm saying?

[Brad Williams]

Like the mayor, you know what I'm saying?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, he wants to be the mayor. Here we go. You know what I'm saying? Like this.

[Christina P.]

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Honestly, you know what I'm saying?

[Tom Segura]

Like, you know what I'm saying?

[Christina P.]

Like this, you know what I'm saying?

[Tom Segura]

Do anyone understand that? There you go. Do anyone understand Ghost Crew, you know what I'm saying? God. Ghost Crew. Yeah. They always gave us bangers, man.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah, I like them. That was Dennis Rodman at the end.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Some of those voices we haven't heard in a minute.

[Tom Segura]

Dennis, does he. Where's his stuff? Is he in?

[Brad Williams]

He went to Korea, to North Korea to remember.

[Tom Segura]

He was so drunk, he was hammered. And they had like, some guys with him who were so put together and they were like, well, Dennis has his own challenges. He means well. They were like, this guy's out of his mind.

[Brad Williams]

Well, because he went to North Korea to play basketball.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And for King John, Kim Jong Un loves NBA basketball. So they went there on like a humanitarian trip and I think they, they were all retired former players and they played like the North Korean national team. And I believe they lost.

[Brad Williams]

No.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

But everyone was kind of like, yeah, it's fine. Go ahead and lose.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Like, don't, don't Embarrass them.

[Brad Williams]

He was so unhinged. Remember that time when he did karaoke and he was just, like, ripped?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, he was ripped that whole trip. Yeah, he was ripped.

[Christina P.]

We don't keep the out.

[Tom Segura]

Little Trump.

[Brad Williams]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christina P.]

We run the industry now.

[Brad Williams]

We're running the industry now. There's. There's so much that we've cultivated for this episode. There's so. There's something. I'm excited to show you things you're.

[Tom Segura]

Excited saying, like, you can't. You're like, You've never. You're never. You don't usually come in and go, like, I can't wait to show you this thing.

[Brad Williams]

I got to tell you, I've sent this to my group chat of girlfriends that are down for this. Okay. That are like, down for these clips.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Half of them tapped out.

[Tom Segura]

Tapped out of this clip.

[Brad Williams]

Just like. I can't even watch it, dude. It's so. You know, Sarah. My fate. My.

[Tom Segura]

She.

[Brad Williams]

She loves these things. Sarah introduced me to Gigi.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. We were 18, and she saw this clip.

[Brad Williams]

She was like, wow. Like, this is intense. I made it all the way through, but even watching it all the way through.

[Tom Segura]

God damn. Okay.

[Brad Williams]

Y.

[Tom Segura]

All right, well, we'll get to.

[Brad Williams]

For women. I don't know.

[Tom Segura]

We'll get to it. I'm going to. This is not the clip.

[Brad Williams]

Oh, here we go. I'm scared.

[Tom Segura]

No, no, I'm just delicious. I'm just going to play our opening clip, but we'll get to your. Your exciting clip soon. Okay?

[Brad Williams]

All right. I mean.

[Tom Segura]

All right. Hold on a second now. Hold on a second now. All right, and here's your open. Here you go.

[Christina P.]

I want to. So any girl wants to get down, party, smoke weed tonight, and my brains out, and I goddamn mean it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Get in touch with my promoter.

[Christina P.]

He'll give you his cell phone number.

[Brad Williams]

Promoter.

[Christina P.]

Make sure you say if you're from Long island, preferably Summer county. And let's have fun. Let's have the time of our life.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah, dude, that's pretty cool.

[Christina P.]

Don't bring anyone.

[Tom Segura]

Mother into this. Yeah, this guy's down, man. He's really. He's fired up.

[Brad Williams]

He's fired. There's no other way to be here.

[Christina P.]

To your mom's house.

[Brad Williams]

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow I'm such a meow, meow, meow, meow. Oh, that was a good one. I love. I love this guy so much.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, the bagel guy. So if you. If. If he reminds you of anybody. It's because a few years back, this guy was the 5 foot tall dude who lost his in a bagel store for being made fun of for his height. And it went viral. He became. I guess that's why he has a promoter. So I like that. He's like, you want to hit up my promoter? Tell me. From Long. Suffolk county, preferably.

[Brad Williams]

Why Suffolk County?

[Tom Segura]

Let's get high and let's.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

But was it just this proximity because the girl's closer?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I guess. He's on. He's like, I don't want someone to hit me up.

[Brad Williams]

That's like the next Far from town over.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

That's amazing.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Like the bagel shop. I don't know if I can bring this in.

[Brad Williams]

Why is it okay for women to.

[Christina P.]

Say, oh, you're five feet on dating.

[Brad Williams]

Sites, you should be dead. That's okay.

[Christina P.]

Who said that to you here?

[Brad Williams]

Nobody.

[Tom Segura]

Women in general have said it on dating sites. You think I'm making that up?

[Christina P.]

Everywhere I go, I get the same.

[Brad Williams]

Smirk with the biting lip.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Shut your mouth.

[Brad Williams]

You're not God or my father or my thoughts. Dude, you want to step outside?

[Christina P.]

You want to step outside, huh?

[Tom Segura]

I'm not standing out. I know.

[Brad Williams]

You shut up, too.

[Tom Segura]

Go ahead and attack me.

[Brad Williams]

Oh.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, my God. Everyone's like, I just want a Vega.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. What happened?

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

East Coasters hit it. Different man.

[Tom Segura]

So that guy is the same guy. I want to.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. Oh, I. I believe it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Now he's back in the zeitgeist. Promoter. What do you think he does?

[Tom Segura]

I think he probably should have just been like, hit me up.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know if we need a middleman through the promoter. Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Oh, my God. You know what I love about East Coasters.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Is the women watching this are laughing. That's how hardcore East Coasters are in general. She's like, yeah. That would happen in California or Texas. Women be like, oh, my God.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

They're so much tougher than us over there.

[Tom Segura]

They're used to more chaos.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. That New York City chaos.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Long island chaos. Well, he looks a little inebriated.

[Tom Segura]

It was crazy that, though, in that. I forgot that in the bagel shop, this other guy attacked him, like, jumped on.

[Brad Williams]

I forgot that bit too. I forgot that. Do you think that guy was talking shit about him being small?

[Tom Segura]

Probably. I think they were. They were talking shit about how angry he was in general. And everyone was like, just get your fucking bagel.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And he brought up, like, obviously, like, Real things. Like, I get made fun of and people are always snickering and saying these things about me. And then he got in people's faces, and one of them was like, I'll take you down, bro.

[Brad Williams]

Damn.

[Tom Segura]

Pretty crazy.

[Brad Williams]

Well, I hope he got laid this night. I like him.

[Tom Segura]

There's definitely a girl out there for him somewhere. I know there is.

[Brad Williams]

This is the easiest money you can make.

[Tom Segura]

That sounds like a goddamn.

[Brad Williams]

I don't believe it. She's not. That's not real. I know my farts.

[Tom Segura]

That sounds like an AMG engine. Like, if you're not real, listen to the way an AMG starts. It's very similar.

[Brad Williams]

That's not real.

[Tom Segura]

You don't think that's real?

[Brad Williams]

No.

[Tom Segura]

These are just sound effects.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. You know why?

[Tom Segura]

Why?

[Brad Williams]

She's not pushing those sounds. Look, you're talking to the fart master.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, my goodness.

[Brad Williams]

You know I am. Yeah, I see. There's no push. There's no.

[Tom Segura]

She doesn't seem to be pushing hard, but maybe she's just got a talent for a girl.

[Brad Williams]

No, this is a even. Dude, you'll see them. Yeah, you bear down. There's no bearing down. I'm gonna call bullshit on this. Wow. I said it. I'm a part expert.

[Tom Segura]

We would love to hear from you. This is Mila. The Instagram is the Fart World official. She's one of the fart models There proven. Mila's part of Fart World, which is an only fans account. With over 150 models on their channel, fart world changes. 14 charges. 14.95amonth to watch all the models fart.

[Brad Williams]

It's great.

[Tom Segura]

We would. We are challenging whether or not these are authentic farts. To everybody at the Fart World Official and to Mila, you're being doubted. I don't know if there's any way you could prove that you're actually farting like that.

[Brad Williams]

I mean, come to Texas, Mila. Come sit on our couch. And you can fart like that with no pushing, no bearing down.

[Tom Segura]

You will sit on any's lap and you will fart. And. And. And we'll just see how it goes.

[Brad Williams]

Let's see it. Bring one of these models here.

[Tom Segura]

10 in the morning. Come on.

[Brad Williams]

By the way, 14.95amonth to watch all these models. Fart models. 100, 150 models. I mean, they're making a great living. How many subscribers do they have?

[Tom Segura]

Well, that's what we don't know.

[Brad Williams]

We don't know. Yeah, we don't know the Math. I got it.

[Tom Segura]

They're not doing this for free, I'll tell you that.

[Brad Williams]

Gotta tell you, if things got desperate for me, this is the first place I would head.

[Tom Segura]

You'd go to Fart World?

[Brad Williams]

Farts. What else? Selling used underwear.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Used gym clothes. Easy money.

[Tom Segura]

Easy money.

[Brad Williams]

Easy money.

[Tom Segura]

Easy money.

[Brad Williams]

I don't like this.

[Tom Segura]

You don't like this?

[Brad Williams]

I don't like it. I don't like him. I don't like it.

[Tom Segura]

Why?

[Brad Williams]

He looks sick.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, he's fine.

[Brad Williams]

Doesn't look normal.

[Tom Segura]

He's normal.

[Brad Williams]

I don't like this clip. What is this? This is upsetting. I don't like this. This reminds me of my cousin Chubba in Hungary, who's touched. Like, this is something Chubba would probably do.

[Tom Segura]

Chubba rides his bike, right?

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. He looks for aliens around Budapest on his bicycle.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. This guy's probably doing a similar thing.

[Brad Williams]

I don't like it. I don't like that. He's just. His arms are too thin.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

I don't like the rocking. I don't like the fan.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Brad Williams]

I don't like any.

[Tom Segura]

All right.

[Brad Williams]

There's a hole in the wall, like, right. Any. I feel like Any hates it, too.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, the hole in the wall is definitely my first. Like, what is going on with this man? I'm a little scared for him. But you know what? He should get his. You know that? Yeah, exactly. He positive. I support him.

[Brad Williams]

Stay positive, Make a living on. Oh, I see what you're saying.

[Tom Segura]

You don't want to join his only fans slang. You don't want to pay. You want to pay to. Oh, his black slang.

[Brad Williams]

He's gonna get his. I thought you were meaning, like, he's gonna get beaten. No, he's. It used to be that's what the Mafia.

[Tom Segura]

No, he's just.

[Brad Williams]

Okay, now.

[Tom Segura]

It's all right. Whatever, man.

[Brad Williams]

God, there's so much to go through. I can't believe you're wasting time on this.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, well, a fun transition is ktla. Did you see what KTLA put out? Ktla, which was your local news for most of your life.

[Brad Williams]

My whole child.

[Tom Segura]

They just a couple days ago, just out of nowhere, sent out a tweet. And you know what the tweet said?

[Brad Williams]

No. I gotta start following the KTLA news team.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, you got to start following them.

[Brad Williams]

I think I've been on this channel, Channel 5.

[Tom Segura]

They just tweeted out the N word.

[Brad Williams]

No.

[Tom Segura]

Yep. That's it.

[Brad Williams]

Just that.

[Tom Segura]

Just that.

[Brad Williams]

Just N word. N words. Plural. It looks like Can I see that bigger, please? I'm trying to. Let's see. Huh? Hilarious.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Just that.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

They just put that out and they called it a technical error. They accidentally posted the N word from a news. A news station was just like, here's our thought today.

[Brad Williams]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. And that's all that it was. And then they had to follow up and just said, we experienced a technical error while adding language filters to our. What is it? To our social media accounts, resulting in an offensive word being accidentally shared. We are appalled and apologize that this occurred. Feels like somebody just tweeted it, but not that they're like, oh, we were updating our filters and then this happened.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. But, yeah, somebody at KTLA is not.

[Tom Segura]

A fan, so they meant to add the N word to its lists of muted words, but accidentally posted it instead.

[Brad Williams]

I buy that story.

[Tom Segura]

Like, here's something we shouldn't say. Let's just post it to our several hundred thousand followers.

[Brad Williams]

Oh, my God. Could you imagine seeing that tweet? You're like, yeah, it's going on ktla.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

N words.

[Tom Segura]

Yep.

[Brad Williams]

Jeez.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Jeez.

[Tom Segura]

Amazing. Amazing.

[Brad Williams]

I love ktla. Right, Josh? Don't you feel a sense of like, that's. That's my. That's our channel, guys.

[Tom Segura]

KTLA is great, but ktla, you can't just tweet the N word.

[Brad Williams]

You can't just tweet the nw.

[Tom Segura]

Can't do it.

[Christina P.]

What a mess.

[Brad Williams]

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[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

You're like, what's wrong with you? Wrong with y'all.

[Christina P.]

Crazy.

[Tom Segura]

You can't do that.

[Brad Williams]

You can't do that.

[Tom Segura]

You can't do it.

[Brad Williams]

And like, you're the one that did it. And you're like, you go to your best friend at the KTLA job, you're like, jesus Christ, Tom. I up so bad, dude. I deleted it right away. But do you think they saw it?

[Tom Segura]

They saw what it'd be like. Wait, you couldn't have done something that bad.

[Brad Williams]

I was just joking around. Kevin and I were around and I accidentally tweeted it.

[Tom Segura]

Tweeted what?

[Brad Williams]

You know, dude, the N word.

[Tom Segura]

I've already tweeted the N word.

[Brad Williams]

I did. I didn't think it would go off, though, dude. I deleted it.

[Tom Segura]

It's definitely your last day here, bro.

[Brad Williams]

I'm so.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, you definitely gotta pack up.

[Brad Williams]

Can I tell you something? I'm stupid enough to do something like this, like, as a joke, to be like, dude, what's the worst thing I could tweet? Here it is, bro. And then it sends. And then my life is over.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it would definitely be do that.

[Brad Williams]

I know.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

I don't know if I would do N word, though. I might do something funnier. Like, more LA specific.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Like Mexican stuff maybe.

[Tom Segura]

You know, cholo stuff.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Well, damn. That definitely got everybody on the social media team into a meeting that day for sure. They're like, everybody go to the conference room real quick. We have something we need to discuss.

[Brad Williams]

But I know it wasn't that light because it's la. Like, they got into eight. Like, it was heavy. It was like the HR had to come out and talk to everybody about their feelings and counsel people and.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

You know what I'm saying?

[Tom Segura]

Of course it's.

[Brad Williams]

It was heavy. I bet you it was heavy. Okay. Good segue. Mother's Day just around the corner.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Get mom my lipstick. The perfect four is the perfect gift. You can't decide what shade to get her. Get her all four. She's gonna love every single one of them. Christina. Pct.com. get it now. In time, cuz.

[Tom Segura]

Mother's Day is May 11th and Madison.

[Brad Williams]

I'm wearing Madison today.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Check this out. Watch this, watch this. Scott Welsh, he did a Muppet style spin off where he takes, like, podcast clips and he posts them. He put. He put this one out the other day.

[Brad Williams]

Speaking of not being fat.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

I'm back on the oics.

[Tom Segura]

Get out of here.

[Brad Williams]

But they upped my dose because I was eating right through it like a pig the last time I did it, and now I want to die. It's so gross. Like, I feel so sick all the time, but I'm looking thinner already.

[Tom Segura]

You look great.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

The main thing is that you're getting all the benefits of an eating disorder.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You know, without all the health complications.

[Brad Williams]

It's good. He even got the cool guys behind us.

[Tom Segura]

That's pretty awesome. This is amazing. Way to go, Scott. Thanks so much for doing that.

[Brad Williams]

Thank you. I love this.

[Tom Segura]

And also, we love the Muppets so much.

[Brad Williams]

I missed that show. I wish they'd bring that one back.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

But Jim Henson's dead. It's not gonna work. That guy was the magic with that.

[Tom Segura]

He was the magic. Sometimes you can't duplicate it.

[Brad Williams]

Cannot. He was the right blend of heart and comedy and pot and, you know.

[Tom Segura]

It was the 70s back into the system.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah, I think so. I think the drugs are bad and that's why music and creative stuff sucks so hard.

[Christina P.]

Right. Well, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You don't want to. You don't need the. People are too hardcore. Fentanyl and.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Just need Some good weed, man.

[Brad Williams]

Just some weed. Maybe some good ecstasy or molly is what the kids are taking now.

[Tom Segura]

Sure, yeah.

[Brad Williams]

I don't know. Cigarettes are nice too. Just smoke real cigarettes. Why are you vaping? Stop vaping. It looks so gay.

[Tom Segura]

There you go. Stop looking gay.

[Brad Williams]

It's vaping is for. It's for children, you know, smoke like an adult.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brad Williams]

If you're going to go, go hard.

[Tom Segura]

It was so fun the other day we were talking about babies with the boys.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And they were like, why do you give a baby? I go, well, babies love spicy sausage, so you gotta. If you ever have a baby, you give them real spicy sausages. And then you give them cigarettes and tequila.

[Brad Williams]

Yep.

[Tom Segura]

And they were laughing so hard. They're like, to a baby. I was like, yeah, man, babies love to smoke, drink and eat spicy foods. And they were like, ah, it's so.

[Brad Williams]

Fun giving them misinformation lately. Because now they're at the age where they can pick up on it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, they know. They know. They're like putting it together. They're like, but when the baby gets sick. I was like, no, man, not if they. So much fun trying to make a baby strong. You make a baby smoke. So fun.

[Brad Williams]

So fun.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

We went to Three Forks restaurant yesterday and we were like, yeah, they give you three forks and if you don't use all three of them, you have to spend the night.

[Tom Segura]

You have to spend the night at the rest. And they're like, is that true?

[Brad Williams]

And I go, yeah, of course it's true, you idiot.

[Tom Segura]

Do you sleep there till you use your third fork?

[Brad Williams]

You gotta use all three, dummy. By the way, I took them to see Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus, the musical.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

It was so good. They did such a great job. I'm a huge fan of Mo Willems books. We love them at the house.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

But I've been noticing a lot of low IQ adults at like, children's things lately. Like, I look for them now.

[Tom Segura]

Huh?

[Brad Williams]

And I'm like, why are you here? You don't have a kid with you. Weirdo.

[Tom Segura]

That's definitely weird. And it definitely brings about. That's a great segue.

[Brad Williams]

And I definitely think they are low IQ adults.

[Tom Segura]

There are some out there. Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

That a normal checking out.

[Tom Segura]

Just children's entertainment.

[Brad Williams]

I don't get it. And I also think the parents are too involved with the kids on the playground. Let them just freaking work too much. Work it out. Let them work it out. You don't need to watch everything.

[Tom Segura]

The LA Times Put out an article that they discovered that fake down syndrome influencers are being created with AI are being used to promote OnlyFans content.

[Brad Williams]

What a wonderful world.

[Tom Segura]

Isn't this insane? Because this.

[Brad Williams]

I've been waiting for this.

[Tom Segura]

We were talking about, like, what's going on? Like, how are all these downs people just being like, you want to fuck? So it's so great. Here's what it says. A disturbing trend has emerged in which artificial intelligence is being used to create fake Instagram influencers with down syndrome to promote adult content. According to a report from 404 Media, this practice often involves stealing content from real creators and replacing their faces with AI generated ones. These fabricated Personas are then used to sell explicit content exploiting the fetishization of disabilities.

[Brad Williams]

Weird.

[Tom Segura]

One of the most notable AI generated influencers is at Maria Do Pari. Can you pull up hers? Is her Instagram still there?

[Brad Williams]

Instagram got wise.

[Tom Segura]

Did it take hers down?

[Brad Williams]

Better not. No, she's got great cans. It's the. The big tittle.

[Tom Segura]

So it's not. Oh, it's not.

[Brad Williams]

It is down.

[Tom Segura]

It is down. So she got. I mean, the LA Times are.

[Christina P.]

This was her.

[Tom Segura]

This was her. These accounts typically recycle content using reusing videos, bios and linking to the same adult content platform. While many of the AI generated faces appear convincing at first glance, subtle distortions and inconsistencies often reveal their artificial nature. And then it says some of these AI Personas explicitly reference their appearance in relation to adult content, even using phrases like only down as part of their marketing. Hey, so these are. So that's the answer to this. When we were like, what's going on?

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

With Down's adult content, it's AI generated.

[Brad Williams]

Thank God. AI. But this is how technology always spurs forward. It's used in pornography.

[Tom Segura]

It is pornography. Always goes. We'll try it.

[Brad Williams]

Also, this is Victoria's Secret fault. Remember Victoria's Secret was the first to fetishize the down syndrome model. We called it out fucking two, three years ago. Like, hey guys, is it really a cool idea?

[Tom Segura]

It really was kind of strange to.

[Brad Williams]

Essentially make somebody who may not be intellectually capable of choosing this career aware of the repercussions of being sexualized. Oh, thanks. Victoria's Secret, you dipshits. And this created a whole lane of guys J and their D to girls to down syndrome girls. Good, good. See? Children. Essentially intellectual children.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Brad Williams]

It's not fair. I. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

[Tom Segura]

Well, it's a perfect White chance to segue into one of Annie's inner thoughts.

[Christina P.]

Stop letting me always play with you when you got some super fine, a baddie, some super ultra fine. I don't be going hella places with that hoe. I go only where I have to go with her. I'm not gonna be sitting here watching dude stare at her asses and.

[Tom Segura]

And.

[Christina P.]

And drool all over and. And flirt with her in my face and disrespect me and run her validation up and put that on a pedestal. I'm like, that. She'd be like, oh, you want to run over here with me? No, go by yourself. I'll be here waiting. Because, you know they all were gonna come back. Oh, this dude hit on me. And this many guys was looking at me and staring at me. And this. Stop the. Who gives two shits about what they all. That. Come on, run.

[Brad Williams]

That so true.

[Christina P.]

Be my throat goat.

[Tom Segura]

Throat goat, yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Is this how you feel like when we go out?

[Tom Segura]

Hell, yeah. And you're like, don't even look at me.

[Brad Williams]

Compliment that.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

What do you think? Any.

[Tom Segura]

This dude sound like he used to be a player. That's what this sounds like. It's giving me the energy that he was a player when he was, like, 18. And then the went broke, lost all his teeth, started talking to everybody. Nobody likes him, and he's just like, I ain't doing nothing for you. Like, yeah, that's because no wants you no more. That's.

[Christina P.]

That's.

[Tom Segura]

He's still. Wow. I hear what you said.

[Brad Williams]

That's a great assessment.

[Tom Segura]

I would say it, though. I've watched all of his content, and I. He definitely purports to be still active in the player realm.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. Because he's getting stragglers, right? Outliers, scraps.

[Tom Segura]

He ain't getting good no more.

[Brad Williams]

No. Well, I think. And he's spot on. This guy's seeing some financial hardships. His game isn't as big as it used to be. I agree. I see the decline.

[Tom Segura]

Still has a lot of wisdom. A lot of wisdom to share. Okay.

[Brad Williams]

He's an elder. You got to listen to him.

[Christina P.]

Stop it. Just stop it. Stop. Girls who neck and head and throat is not on the menu. That shit's supposed to be on the menu, twin. My boy, my G. My guy. Folks family, teammate.

[Brad Williams]

Got it.

[Christina P.]

Bro. Bro. That supposed to be on the menu, right? The be like, oh, I do this, and I'll do a little bit of this, and I'll do some of that, but I won't do that it's all on the menu. The menu hoe. Nobody above the program. That is part of the program. That's part of program. Nobody's above the program. Not even me. Get with the program where to throw run the throat.

[Tom Segura]

So it's a really interesting point that.

[Brad Williams]

He'S making, though I'm not sure I understand it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, so what he's saying is like some girls are saying specifically like, oh, I don't give head. Sure, right. And he's saying, no, it's all on the menu. The menu is the menu. Meaning you do do it all. Don't give me this. I only do this and that.

[Brad Williams]

Right?

[Tom Segura]

If I want this, this is what you're doing. If you're not participating in this section of the menu, then you're full of get out of here. So you do give head. Period.

[Brad Williams]

Got it? When I was young, I used to dream of being anything, a doctor, the president, a scientist. But as you get older, your dreams change, focusing less on running the world and more on how you can take your skills and ideas to turn them into something real. Instead of dreaming of going to space or owning your own castle, maybe you start dreaming of owning your own business. You'll need a website, a payment system, a logo, and a way to advertise to new customers. It can all be overwhelming and confusing, but thankfully this is where today's sponsor, Shopify comes in. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands that just are getting started. Turn those dreams into and give them the best shot at success with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com momshouse go to shopify.com momshouse shopify.com momshouse.

[Christina P.]

This episode is brought to you by Selectquote. Life insurance can have a huge impact on our family's future with Selectquote. Getting covered with the right policy for you is simple and affordable. Selectquote's licensed insurance agents will tailor your experience to find a life insurance policy for your needs in as little as 15 minutes. And selectquote partners with carriers that provide policies for many conditions. Select quote, they shop, you save. Go to selectquote.com Spotify pod today to get started.

[Brad Williams]

Is he. But I would like to know, does he explicitly tell you the menu before you sign up? No, he kind of lets you know as you're going along.

[Tom Segura]

No, he's just saying like, hey, if this is like, I want head. If you're. If your point of view is. That's not really something I'm into. He's like, get the out of here. It's not. That's not an option to say that.

[Brad Williams]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

But you know, the are gonna give you head before you even get there. So, like, here's what I'm saying. Homie fell off, hom. I feel like he's got some broke nasty in the back in his bedroom right now. And then he just, like, literally went and recorded a video with her sleeping in the bed. Like, ah, she won't suck my dick, man. Like, what the.

[Christina P.]

She's over there.

[Tom Segura]

Like, man, this is crying again. Homie lost his ways, man.

[Brad Williams]

I love Annie's assessment.

[Tom Segura]

I know. I do love his.

[Brad Williams]

I feel like you. Yeah. I think this.

[Tom Segura]

The shades are an interesting choice for these.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah, he's doing some matrix here.

[Tom Segura]

I like seeing the ring light in them.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah, he doesn't. He's got to be lit, dude.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, he's well lit.

[Brad Williams]

At least he's the first cool guy we've had that's well lit.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. I don't think we've prioritizes video quality and audio and his looks and he's.

[Brad Williams]

He looks good shirtless.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Thank God he's not a mess.

[Brad Williams]

He's not a mess. There's no fan.

[Tom Segura]

No.

[Brad Williams]

But this is a new lane of cool guy.

[Tom Segura]

It's pretty cool. Yeah, it is pretty cool.

[Brad Williams]

Okay, now will you please.

[Tom Segura]

What do you want? The clip. Oh, the clip that you've been talking about. Okay, here we go.

[Brad Williams]

Come on. Hold on. I bought this sock from a baseball player. He wore it a full month. It's pretty filthy, as you can see. This is usually where I tap out. Oh. Oh, it's so hard to watch.

[Tom Segura]

The breathing is menacing.

[Brad Williams]

So hard. It's so hard to get through, isn't it? It's so hard to watch.

[Christina P.]

This.

[Tom Segura]

This is just on Tick Tock.

[Brad Williams]

Listen, full disclosure. This was sent to me by a mom friend. I don't want to say who. I don't know if she's okay with me sharing.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, okay. I'm not sure I understand the source.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah, but it's a banger, am I right?

[Tom Segura]

That's pretty cool.

[Brad Williams]

Well, what are you feeling right now? Like I want to talk.

[Tom Segura]

Well, it'd be a lot easier to watch if it was a females, you know?

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. What, because it's gay, it kind of bothers you?

[Tom Segura]

No. Well, I guess I don't know if it's gay. Things bother me. It's just that I go like, like I always think of like, like anytime I see a man's foot, period. Like, even in flip flops, I'm just always like. Like, I just have kind of disdain for men's feet. But I understand that, like, he's gay, so there wouldn't be the same level of disdain. But I just, I can't, I can't dismiss my own disdain for a man's.

[Brad Williams]

Understood also. Yes. And a man's level of filth.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Over the course of one month playing baseball is.

[Tom Segura]

Look at those.

[Brad Williams]

It's crusty. It is brown. There's dust. So when he breathes and he coughs, it's because the dust.

[Tom Segura]

The dust. And probably maybe some blood is in there too.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. Fungus. Toe jam.

[Tom Segura]

So much sweat.

[Brad Williams]

Athletes. And this guy couldn't be harder.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, this guy's in heaven. That part I under. I understand the, like, how like, sweet this is to him.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Like, I get it on that level.

[Brad Williams]

Sure.

[Tom Segura]

It's the source of it for me that I'm like, that's a lot. Like if this was a guy who was like, oh, I got this from a female volleyball player. Even then I feel like it's different, different, different.

[Brad Williams]

Hey, Josh, can you look up, like, what's the going rate for a one month old baseball player sock? It's very specific.

[Tom Segura]

He hit up somebody.

[Brad Williams]

A fetish. Like, this is very specific.

[Tom Segura]

I don't think there's a going rate. I think this guy just hit somebody up and was like, hey, man, what would it take? And that guy was probably like, give me a grand or something, you know.

[Brad Williams]

For a month's worth of work. But also put it in terms of like, the guy had to wear those socks every day for a month.

[Tom Segura]

Which is also upsetting as the player for you. Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Because now your foot's going to be covered in filth.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. You never, like, every time you put it on, you're like, the sock is. Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

And like everybody's noticing.

[Tom Segura]

Help pricing a sock sale. Okay. He wants me to wear socks and shoes 10 days in a row. Says he likes them very dirty. How much would you charge? I sell usually $10 per day.

[Christina P.]

That's.

[Tom Segura]

It might be underselling. I'm new in the foot market, but 10 days seems like it should be really expensive. I just came up. Can't come up with a number that's fair to me. So this is somebody asking 200 sounds reasonable.

[Brad Williams]

No, for 10 days. More. More.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. Could hold on I think you need to take into consideration what brand you are wearing and what else is being provided with the sale. One of my friends does the socks fetish, and her starting price for 24 hours of wear is $45.

[Brad Williams]

There you go.

[Tom Segura]

If you wear them, if you want them worn longer than, it's $10 a day. If she provides pictures or a clip, that's also extra. I think when it comes to used items, Reddit can give you a false idea what you can sell. I do the sneaker fetish and I wear. Once I wear them, I wince every time I see someone try and sell their sneakers for $50.

[Brad Williams]

Oh, yeah, that's not enough.

[Tom Segura]

Well, it looks like there's a big debate going on on what the price should be, but I understand that. How do you price it? That's a big deal.

[Brad Williams]

It is a big deal. It is a big deal. And one month of wear on a baseball player. I hope that. Did he. Wait, did he say how much he paid for this?

[Tom Segura]

He didn't think. He didn't.

[Brad Williams]

I mean, I would go a thousand dollars like you said. At least that's a. That's a long game for the wearer.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Every day to wear that crusty.

[Tom Segura]

It's uncomfortable for you as the world.

[Brad Williams]

That's what I'm saying.

[Tom Segura]

It's like, that's really what you're paying for it. Like, you're like, yeah, yeah. No, I'm saying you're being compensated for your own discomfort at that point. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Right.

[Brad Williams]

The amount of time it took to. To bake that thing.

[Tom Segura]

Well, this was really cool. I appreciate.

[Brad Williams]

I've been just like.

[Tom Segura]

And your friends have been sharing this.

[Brad Williams]

So. So I. This was sent to me by a friend, and then I forwarded it to my group of really sick women friends that I've had since we were, you know, 13, 14, like, my core group. And like I said, half of them tacked out. Shauna was like, nope, nope. Not even gonna watch this. Sarah. Sarah, who's down, is like, I love. She's like, I'm. You know, I'm hurt, but it was hard. That being said, please keep sending these. Yeah, she still appreciates.

[Tom Segura]

She's hardcore. She's very hardcore. She really gets it.

[Brad Williams]

She's the originator of this.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

That's really cool, man.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, there's. Here's another.

[Brad Williams]

Oh. History of the sock fetish.

[Tom Segura]

The history of olfactophilia has been present for a considerable amount of time in years. The used socks fetish has been derived as A subset of this In 94 a study was conducted which found that 45% of people with a foot fetish are interested in smelly socks. This shows that there is a common interest between OLA factophilia and foot fetishism. Can you make money? Yes. How much? As mentioned above, socks can sell up for $60 and more obviously depends on a few factors such as activities performed in them, duration and wear of also material. There's a bunch of.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah, it's great. I mean, what a country. What a world.

[Tom Segura]

It is an incredible country.

[Brad Williams]

There's no reason to be poor. No reason to be broke.

[Tom Segura]

You got it. You gotta do everything.

[Brad Williams]

Sniffer. That's perfect.

[Tom Segura]

That's the site. Wow. It's a trusted marketplace. Safe and anonymous.

[Brad Williams]

This is awesome.

[Tom Segura]

Over 1.5 million users and growing. Christ.

[Brad Williams]

Men.

[Tom Segura]

Well, I think men. Gentlemen, if you wouldn't mind setting up an account and maybe getting some stuff for us to explore what's going on in this space and. And have everything approved by me. First, send me what you're thinking of and then I'll tell you whether or not to bid on it. All right, let's and do that today. Jello. Let's transition to another cholo. Yes.

[Brad Williams]

What is up with you? You're gonna have a stroke.

[Tom Segura]

Why am I gonna have a stroke?

[Brad Williams]

You keep mispronouncing words.

[Tom Segura]

I was just so sexually aroused, I kind of just stuttered. Speaking of getting my dick hard.

[Brad Williams]

What's happening?

[Tom Segura]

Show you those neck veins. Look at that. The traps.

[Brad Williams]

I don't like this at all.

[Tom Segura]

So good.

[Brad Williams]

I hate it. I don't like this.

[Tom Segura]

We have different people that like different things here.

[Brad Williams]

It makes me hurt. I don't like it.

[Tom Segura]

Those veins are awesome, man.

[Brad Williams]

I don't like seeing people's veins.

[Tom Segura]

She's so vascular. You don't like that at all?

[Brad Williams]

Nope.

[Tom Segura]

Well, it's a whole lane.

[Brad Williams]

I don't like it. I don't like seeing people's veins. Does that mean you're dehydrated?

[Tom Segura]

Muscle mama. She's 180 pounds. Bodybuilding, adult model. Yeah. Neck vein lover. Isn't that crazy? That's a whole other lane.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. Guys are really cool.

[Tom Segura]

Guys are cool.

[Brad Williams]

Guys like everything in any. There's someone out there for you.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Ugh. I'm gonna puke. Okay. Thank you.

[Tom Segura]

To think that that's really. I never even thought of that.

[Brad Williams]

No.

[Tom Segura]

Some people go, oh, neck veins are my. Like.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

This is just showing that neck vein.

[Brad Williams]

It's very specific.

[Tom Segura]

I know.

[Brad Williams]

Sick.

[Tom Segura]

And that's Making some guy J is D right now.

[Brad Williams]

I get the sweat socks more than the veins, but.

[Tom Segura]

So do I. But I'm just saying that this is obviously popular. I like seeing that neck pain, baby.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. It's so weird, but people sexualize. Hey, did you hear Katy Perry went into outer space today?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

I was like, I hope they leave her there. I don't like her music. So annoying.

[Tom Segura]

Really?

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. You don't think she's the most annoying? No, I was like, stay in space.

[Tom Segura]

That's really.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah, I didn't.

[Tom Segura]

I didn't feel like that at all.

[Brad Williams]

Super annoying.

[Tom Segura]

How is she annoying? I don't know.

[Brad Williams]

I've seen her host that show where they rate singers and stuff. She's just, like, obnoxious, like, too much. You know what I mean?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

She can't. She can't not be the center of attention all the time.

[Tom Segura]

So Gayle King.

[Brad Williams]

Gail can come back down. I like Gail. Katie can stay in space.

[Tom Segura]

What about Lauren?

[Brad Williams]

Who's Lauren?

[Tom Segura]

Jeff Bezos's sweetheart, I guess.

[Brad Williams]

I don't want him to suffer. He's already been divorced and he's in such good shape.

[Tom Segura]

That's a factor.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. He worked hard.

[Tom Segura]

There they are.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Those are the broads in space right now.

[Brad Williams]

And you know what's so funny, too, is, like, they made such a big deal that it's women, and they all had to ring a bell before they got on.

[Tom Segura]

And I like that they called it space crew.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

As opposed to passengers. They're just passengers.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. What are you doing? You're sitting there in a. Yeah. A tight bodysuit, and that. That's the accomplishment.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. You're just a passenger.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. It's not. And you didn't build the spaceship. You're not an engineer.

[Tom Segura]

No. Of course.

[Brad Williams]

You didn't do anything.

[Tom Segura]

You're just gonna sit and go for a ride.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. That's hilarious.

[Brad Williams]

You know, I honestly think every time we point out people's.

[Tom Segura]

I love that I saw things.

[Brad Williams]

I'm a woman. It makes it worse.

[Tom Segura]

Sanchez.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

She's wearing, like, high heels, and she had her zipper open for most of the promos for this. She's so looking hot.

[Brad Williams]

She's an astronaut.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. It's so. It's so brutal. I don't know.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. None of these. If these women were, like, scientists or physicists or something.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

They're just, like, the hot women in space. Is that what we're.

[Tom Segura]

That's all they are, man.

[Brad Williams]

Gail King is probably the only one. I don't Know, I'm not familiar with everyone else, but she actually does stuff like she's.

[Tom Segura]

You know what I mean? I really like that this is a diverse group of women.

[Brad Williams]

Me, too.

[Tom Segura]

Because Lauren is Latin.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Katie's white. I see an Asian lady, two black ladies. It really. I'm just like, me, too.

[Brad Williams]

But you know what, Tom? A little ableist. I don't see anybody I know.

[Tom Segura]

How come no one's in a chair signing or anything?

[Brad Williams]

And I'll bet you something else. I'll bet you that spacecraft isn't even equipped for wheelchairs.

[Tom Segura]

That's so. Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Huh. What about neurodivergent? I don't see anybody with autism.

[Tom Segura]

Nope. It's really up. It is up, man.

[Brad Williams]

Women, women. Supporting women.

[Tom Segura]

Supporting women. All right, should we take a quick break? Yeah, yeah, take a quick break and we'll be right back. Sell your socks.

[Brad Williams]

Sell your socks.

[Tom Segura]

You can catch our next guest on the Growth Spurt tour right now, or you can see his most recent special, starfish, available on YouTube. Go to bradwilliamscomedy.com for tickets. It's Brad Williams.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, I made it. I landed on a plane like, 10 minutes ago, and now I'm here.

[Tom Segura]

Let's go.

[Christina P.]

I'm not tired.

[Tom Segura]

Thanks for coming in.

[Christina P.]

Of course.

[Tom Segura]

Congratulations. How many specials is that now for you? It feels.

[Christina P.]

Oh, geez. This would be 1, 2, 3. This is fourth one.

[Tom Segura]

Fourth special.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. And then if you go. If you watch Starfish and then you go see a ticket. For me on tour this year, it's going to be different material. It's not going to be the same stuff.

[Tom Segura]

So I've always asked that.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, yeah. It's. I'm always shocked because we're in it. We do comedy all the time, but I'm shocked with how great fans are, but then at the same time, how little they still know.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I know, right?

[Christina P.]

Like, I remember one. One guy told me recently, like, he was asking me about hecklers, and I was like, yeah, sure. You know, it's a thing. Then they go, well, you know, it's part of your job. Like, it is, but it should not be.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Like, it's not a part of the job I look forward to. It's like, all right, I love to have all this material I've worked on be interrupted.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, Disrupt.

[Brad Williams]

No, that's the best part.

[Tom Segura]

No, I mean, and then there's the person who's like, I was just trying to help you out.

[Brad Williams]

That's the worst one.

[Christina P.]

So I've been doing this for 20 years. But I. I needed it. I. I'm selling out the theater. But I. I needed the help from. I had a thought.

[Tom Segura]

I made it more interesting when I yelled.

[Brad Williams]

By the way, if you haven't seen Brad Williams live, I mean, it is so much fun. You're so funny. And I remember. Do you remember we did this casino gig together a million years ago? It was, like, booked by the Laugh Factory.

[Christina P.]

Which one? Because I did one with you, and I did one with Tom.

[Tom Segura]

Dude, my story is amazing.

[Brad Williams]

You tell yours. I just know that Brad, devastated. Nobody could follow him.

[Tom Segura]

Amazing. I. I went out to do this gig at a casino.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

It was a pretty big one somewhere in, like. I don't like, Central California.

[Christina P.]

Central California. I want to say Oroville, but that might be. It's one of those.

[Tom Segura]

It was a big room.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And I drove out there with Jay Larson.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

So it was the three of us. And we get out there, and the. The.

[Christina P.]

The.

[Tom Segura]

The contact at this venue was like, who are you guys? And we're like, oh, we're two of the comics. He's like, it's Brad's show.

[Christina P.]

Good. I told her to say that.

[Brad Williams]

What a dick.

[Tom Segura]

We were like, wait, what do you mean? Yeah, it's. The three of us were booked. And he was like, well, I mean, you guys are not really, like, who people are here to see, okay? And then he was like, so, all right, let's figure out how we're gonna do this, all right? He goes like, brad's obviously last. So he was like, which one of you guys will go? We were like, I don't know. And he was like, brad, how do you want it to go? We were like, hey, man. Like, we are comedians.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

And he was like, yeah, but, I mean, you wait till you see what he does. You're not gonna compare to that. He was straight up, like, you guys ain't shit.

[Brad Williams]

And, yes.

[Christina P.]

My, how times have changed.

[Tom Segura]

We were like, all right, man. So then he. He. He gave us, like, our assignments. He was like, you do 10, you do 15. Is that cool?

[Christina P.]

You.

[Tom Segura]

Brad? And then Brad was like, yeah, I'm.

[Christina P.]

Sitting there like, yes. Because we were like, okay, we're all friends. But it's like, it's always weird when people that don't know about comedy or just like, all right, I'll put together a show.

[Tom Segura]

I've had. I've had a. I had a great one like that in Vegas, too. Which guy was like, do you even. Do you even know who this other guy, like, this other comic And I was like, no. He was like, yeah, he's. He is. He is a headliner. I was like, bro, I got fucking booked to close this show. He's like, there's no way you can follow that guy. I was like, so was this the.

[Christina P.]

Booker, the security guard? Who is this?

[Tom Segura]

This guy just was like, sit in his suit at this Vegas, by the way. He ended up, like, allowing us to trade, me and this other guy. And it was. Everything was fine. I was like, dude, out of your mind. It's great. But at Brad's show, he was right.

[Brad Williams]

Like, yeah, of course.

[Tom Segura]

Me and Jay did fine. We were like, it was fine. And then Brad went up there and just fucking idly done. And then that guy was like, you.

[Brad Williams]

See why nobody can follow Brad Williams? It's like, thank you.

[Christina P.]

That's horrible. That is a very. That is a very nice compliment. And it was. I got sent the clip. It's on Rogan. It's of. I think it's Ari, Mark, Norman, and I think Shane, too. And they're talking about who you can't follow. And Ari came right in and said, brad. And it's just the nicest thing to hear that from fellow killers like yourselves and people like that. It's really cool. But it also. Now it's like, this is obviously a very insanely popular podcast now. I'm like, oh, great. Now people are gonna sit back and.

[Tom Segura]

Be like, all right, no.

[Christina P.]

What you got?

[Tom Segura]

I think they actually are gonna go, like, I'd love to see someone just fucking destroy.

[Christina P.]

It's that. It's fun. I. I'm enjoying this time in my career where now, like, I've moved on to theaters, and now it's like, the audiences, they're there for me. They're not there on the Friday night. Like, all right, who's the guy?

[Tom Segura]

Who is this?

[Christina P.]

Yes. It's like, no, they're there. They're familiar. I can reference old, and they get it. They cheer. I talk about, you know, small urinals are getting thrown into a helicopter in Afghanistan, and people like, we know what he's talking about. And it's awesome. It really is. And it's. I feel really fortunate because I never thought I'd get here. I thought, you know, I'd get, like. You know, I'd tour some comedy clubs and that'd be good. Maybe sell some tickets on the Saturday early show.

[Tom Segura]

You can't make plans for this. No, there's no way you could play.

[Christina P.]

Like, because there's so many really talented people in this Business.

[Tom Segura]

There's just so many variables, too. It's like, how could you. You can't plan for it.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, yeah. You know, thank God for Covid. Right? Because people started, you know, passing around the clips and. Yeah, I know. It's been said a million times, thank God for Covid.

[Tom Segura]

Thank God for coming.

[Brad Williams]

But also, you know, thank God for the jab.

[Tom Segura]

You get jab?

[Christina P.]

I did.

[Tom Segura]

Fuck yeah, dude.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, I got jabbed. And then I wanted to do this thing. I. I tried to set this up, and because of the time that we were in, I couldn't get people to film it. I wanted to do this thing to where, like, I get jabbed and then I get out and then I start looking at my clothes, like, what happened? Yeah, like, and then film it, like, to get people's reaction of, like, ah, I was six foot four, like two minutes ago. What happened? Side effects. What the shit?

[Tom Segura]

Fuck, man.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So many bad things can happen.

[Brad Williams]

But that's what I was going to say is like, the thing that makes you so unique and so funny is that you embrace being an lp.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

A little person. Is that what we. That what. Let's talk about. And the political correctness and the fear and the weirdness around.

[Christina P.]

That is the crazy political correct term. So good job. LP.

[Brad Williams]

That's what you told me to call you, like, 15 years ago. I was like, what do I call you?

[Christina P.]

Yeah, because it's like, people ask that a lot. And I've got. Got jokes about this. Mulaney's got a great joke about it already. Lang's got a great joke about it. But it's like the bad one is you're not supposed to say that. But I don't like the people that try to say, like, that's our N word. It's like, why do we need one? And why are we trying to compare, like, ah, our slurs worse than your slur?

[Tom Segura]

Nah, I had a. I had a good bit about that many years ago. And the thing is, I progressed from. I used to call you guys little N words. So for me, it was like a great thing.

[Christina P.]

Oh, I think it was a tell. And if it's not a tell.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, he, he. Yes, it was.

[Christina P.]

Yes, it was.

[Tom Segura]

Yes.

[Christina P.]

Floor N words.

[Tom Segura]

Yes. Yes.

[Brad Williams]

That is such a good.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And that's just like. I can't beat that. Yeah, I can never beat.

[Tom Segura]

I saw him do that live in 2011. I still remember.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

At the Las Vegas. They were doing a comedy festival.

[Christina P.]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

And that's where he dropped that. And I was Like, I was like, that is unbelievable.

[Christina P.]

He's the damn best.

[Tom Segura]

He's the best dude.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Well, it's like, because I've done the thing where I go on stage and. Because sometimes I like to challenge myself to be like, let's. Let's not do some dwarf jokes. Let's just go in there and.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Talk about whatever. And I'm staring at the audience, and they're just looking at me like, does he know? Like, does he say the thing? And it's like, all right, I'll say. I'll. I'll say. I'll say the thing. Now, when you see my show, it's not an hour of I could take a bath in the thimble. That's weird. Like. Like, it's not. It's not that we move on to different topics, but. Yeah. I have to. To talk about it.

[Tom Segura]

You address it at some point. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And also, why wouldn't I.

[Tom Segura]

Well, it's very. I'll tell you this. I'll tell you what's super upsetting to me is meeting a guy that's like, I don't know, over six, five.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

That doesn't have a conversation like, dude, I want to know what it's like.

[Christina P.]

What is it like?

[Tom Segura]

I want to talk about. If you're 6 10, we are talking about your height.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I don't care how exhausted you are of it. I'm gonna bring it up.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Because if I'm not, the whole time, I'm like, please bring it up.

[Christina P.]

Please bring it up. Yeah. And it's funny you mentioned that. I did a podcast with the wrestler, the Big Show.

[Tom Segura]

He's a big fuck.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. He's over seven feet. Yeah. And we just talked about. It was Chris Jericho's podcast, and we just talk about comparisons in terms of the life. And there's actually, like. For the size differences. There's just. There's a lot of similarities.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

In terms of, like, obviously, like, flying is difficult for completely different reasons.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

But just growing up and not fitting in and finding out where both of you. Where you do.

[Tom Segura]

The world is not designed for either of you.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So both of you are adapting in. To. In different extremes.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

For a world that goes. No, no, you made it for everybody else.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. We're doing all this, like, cars. Can I rent a car? No.

[Tom Segura]

What does happen with running a car?

[Christina P.]

I have to. I have opening act is. Is great comic. His name is J.B. ball. He drives.

[Tom Segura]

If you had. If you had a necessity. Do you bring some type of adapter for it. Is there. It's like something you can bring.

[Christina P.]

There is. There's pedals that you could. I'm not mechanical, I'm not handy. But like, like there's pedals you can install yourself if you want to.

[Tom Segura]

Right.

[Christina P.]

I'm sure if I made a big stink about it, I'm sure some ADA lawyer is listening, going like, brad, call me like, like, let's do this at home.

[Tom Segura]

You have a car.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And I have a car that's modified.

[Christina P.]

The kids out. When I drop my daughter off at school.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

I get out of the car and they're just like looking at them. How do you get a car?

[Tom Segura]

Is it a modified car then?

[Christina P.]

Yeah, it's got pedal extenders. So that's like a pedal that's on top of the pedal. Thankfully, I sit just as tall as everybody else, so I have a normal sized torso. Look at that. LPA Adaptive products. Oh, yeah, yeah. There's pedal extensions. Sometimes you do the hand control like Bert.

[Tom Segura]

He is a seatbelt extension. So that's kind of the same thing, right?

[Christina P.]

The exact same thing. He's got to bring his wherever he goes.

[Brad Williams]

You said it's difficult to fly. Why is it difficult?

[Christina P.]

Oh, just because the legs fall asleep.

[Brad Williams]

Why is that?

[Christina P.]

They dangle. Oh, they sell, though. And I bought one. They sell these like foot hammocks and you like, hang them from the tray.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, so that your footsteps.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, yeah. And I got, I got one, I used it for a bit. It was, it was great. But then, I don't know, I felt so weird putting my little foot hammock down.

[Brad Williams]

I know people.

[Christina P.]

Look, there you go.

[Brad Williams]

Oh, okay.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. So you just, you, you, you put the foot hammock down.

[Tom Segura]

And then, you know, I just realized now what's that? Because I, I realized I was in this situation that you have to find yourself in all the time, which is I was at a NBA game and I was on the floor talking to people.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And two guys that were both like, like six, nine. Yeah. We're having Converse conversation above me.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

And I was like, this is so insane.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

That I was like, hello. And they were like, they were here being like, yeah, man. And they just talk to each other up here. And I was like, so you have to experience that. Oh, it's like, yo, dude. Yeah, yeah.

[Christina P.]

Crowded bars. Oh, they're. They're impossible. That's like I just sit down and everyone's crotch height and I'm just sitting there like, all right, so like, what I'll try to do is. I'll try to get a barstool. Get on it. I'm like, this is my spot.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

I don't move. Everyone has. Yeah. But like, yeah, there's definitely full on conversations. I've had people, like, reach over my head to like hand something to someone. And you're just. You never feel less of a person than when someone's just like, oh, there's a human down there.

[Tom Segura]

Right. When I asked, I did Shaq's podcast.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And I was like, so, like, what's something that is so lame to you because of its. He's like, water bottles. They're so small.

[Christina P.]

I love him. Liquid death. This is a freaking.

[Tom Segura]

This was like a plastic one though. And his hand went completely. And he went like. Like it was a juice box. They make him so focused. Smoke.

[Christina P.]

I have, I have one photo with Shaq and I love it. I had me and Adam Ray got to play in the celebrity All Star game. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Look at that.

[Christina P.]

Look at that. And like, we got to meet Shaq. We got take a photo with a little kid.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

It's insane. It's just like, thank God he's rich because he could afford stuff to fit him.

[Tom Segura]

Dude. I. I brought this up on a podcast once.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I think, thinking I'm making like, just like a general observation about imagine being this big.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And not having the athleticism and not realizing that it would resonate with some people who were like, yeah, man, this is. That's my life.

[Christina P.]

Like, people. Yes.

[Tom Segura]

Wrote in. They were like, yeah, I'm sick. 6:10.

[Christina P.]

And I'm not athletic. And I'm not athletic. So I live in the world and I have to. And I get reminded of that because I'm sure when people see them, they go, so you play like, you play ball or did you used to play ball? Did you play volleyball? Like, nope.

[Tom Segura]

Nope. And I. And I live in a normal sized place because I can't afford an 18, 000 square foot custom home.

[Christina P.]

Right.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

I. I have to have a large truck because that's what.

[Tom Segura]

That's the only thing that can fit me.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Now you. Well, I think people have become slightly more aware because of like little people, big world and shows.

[Christina P.]

Like, yeah, yeah, there's a bunch of stuff out there. Now we have. We have more representation, which is great. Although I did have to leave a party literally yesterday because I walked in and it was great for a while. I brought the family with me. And then there was this six year old girl who just ran up to me, like, pointed at me at the party and just like starts busting up laughing.

[Brad Williams]

Oh.

[Christina P.]

Like, just point. And I'm just like, I'm sitting there and my kids there and thankfully she's not doing my kid. If she did it to my kid, I would have put a foot through her fucking face. But like. Yeah, but like, I had to leave because I go, I can't call this six year old girl a twat in front of this whole party.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Christina P.]

I can't do it. And if I stay, like, because I, I have these things that I do when I talk to kids to make them kind of understand. And it's not harsh, it's very just like, hey, you know that that woman's got brown hair, that one's got blonde hair. So people who have different colored hair. Different. Different sizes. Yeah, people are different. Isn't that great? And 99 of the time the, the kids are like, okay, cool.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Because they just want an explanation.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And then you get the one blonde girl from yesterday who's just like, couldn't care less. I'm just pointing and laughing.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And I'm just like, I can't. So I had to leave because I don't know where her parents were, but I left. And then someone informed her parents and then the parents were horrified, of course, and then they ended up paying for a meal. So that. So that was very nice. Shout out to them. We also live in a small town, so I'll probably, I'll probably find out who it was very quickly.

[Brad Williams]

Well, just in terms of like show business too, I mean, how do you feel about the whole Snow White thing and not hiring LPs to do the job?

[Tom Segura]

Wait, so who.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah, let's go. Let's go.

[Tom Segura]

Wait, can I ask this?

[Brad Williams]

So, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You're saying LPs weren't cast? Were. Was somebody else cast for this?

[Brad Williams]

It's even worse. It's more egregious.

[Christina P.]

CGI.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, they CGI?

[Christina P.]

Yeah, they CGI'd dwarfs.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

There we are. Aren't those good looking little people?

[Tom Segura]

And what. What was the reason for that?

[Christina P.]

The reason for it? Now there's some misconception or some debate about what the actual reason is, but I believe, and I could be wrong, but I believe the reason is literally. Peter Dinklage was on the Marc Maron.

[Tom Segura]

Podcast, the Allah of your world.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Brad Williams]

He is a very good actor.

[Christina P.]

He's really good. And I'm not a fan of him for this, but he pretty much said because Marin brought up, they're doing a live action Snow White.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And Dinklish kind of went like, oh, I hope they're not doing the dwarf thing again. Like, we have to deal with that. And I'm sitting here going like, well, some of us would like to deal with that. Yeah, Dink. Some of us would like to have that opportunity to deal with that. Because there's not that many roles. Like, he's been amazingly successful, and I love that he takes roles that aren't written for Dwarves.

[Tom Segura]

And they never address it.

[Christina P.]

And they never address it. When he, when he hosted snl, they never made one dwarf joke.

[Tom Segura]

Really.

[Christina P.]

Which. And I found out from some friends that were cast members that that was one of the rules. He came in and said, no, no dwarf jokes. So I'm saying, Lauren, if you're listening, I could host. You'll make all the dwarf jokes you want.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Let fly, let's go.

[Tom Segura]

But like, that. That era is over. Like, I don't think anyone would do that now.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Even if you, like, if you went on.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

With that, they were like, yeah, we don't really want to.

[Christina P.]

We don't want to deal with that and be like, but it'll be funny.

[Brad Williams]

Don't you think, too? Like, not hiring actual Dwarves, it just makes, it makes you guys more outsiders. Like, instead of seeing you as people.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Whole round people. And they chose to cgi.

[Christina P.]

I completely agree.

[Brad Williams]

That's more offensive to me than hiring actual people.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

It would have been cool for the actors to get so cool.

[Christina P.]

That would have been great. And if you want to, you know, make it a little more woke. Okay, great. Make different gendered Dwarves, make dwarves of different races. Fine. Give people more opportunities. I'm all for that, but I'm not for just being like, nah, let's. Because there's not that many roles. And if you look throughout the history of Hollywood, the game is usually the same. The game is, whatever race you are, whatever minority you are, you start getting roles by taking the stereotypical roles. Right. And then you slowly assimilate yourself and, and, and you.

[Tom Segura]

Because Peter Price started with dwarf roles, I'm sure.

[Christina P.]

I mean, he's in Elf saying, call me elf one more fucking time. And he does the drop kick. And. And he's in the most offensive movie ever made about Dwarves, which is. Which you know about.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, Twinkle Tiptoe.

[Christina P.]

Tiptoes.

[Brad Williams]

We've covered Tiptoes.

[Christina P.]

He's in this movie and he has an accent that, like, starts off French, goes to Hungarian. I'm not quite sure what the accent is, but he's in this movie. So the fact that you were in the most effect. By the way, I'm sure your listeners are tired of you talking about this movie. I could do.

[Brad Williams]

It's been a few years.

[Christina P.]

I could do a class on this.

[Tom Segura]

I think we talked about it a while.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah, it's been years.

[Christina P.]

So the movie Tiptoes. It's streaming right now on Amazon. Amazon Prime. And it's the most offensive movie to Dwarf.

[Tom Segura]

Unbelievable.

[Christina P.]

Because Gary Oldman plays a dwarf. Now, when you say, ooh, how'd they get Gary Oldman to play a dwarf? Did they use some advanced CGI like Lord of the Rings? No, on his knees. And they tied his arms back. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So they put shoes on his knees.

[Christina P.]

Yep. Gary Oldman. And in the role of a lifetime. I was about to roll over the preview looks like an SNL sketch.

[Brad Williams]

Can you find the trailer?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I played it for McConaughey when he was here.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, I played the trailer and he.

[Tom Segura]

Said he'd never seen it.

[Brad Williams]

Shut up.

[Tom Segura]

It's the best. Steven's life together was perfect.

[Christina P.]

So that's Matthew McConaughey and Kate Beckinsale joke. Good. Hey, baby. Hey, sweetie. I love you. There's one small problem. Get it. I'm Ra. I'm his brother.

[Tom Segura]

We're twins. Are your parents. It can tear them apart. I think you're gonna let me know.

[Christina P.]

That everyone in your family's a midget.

[Tom Segura]

They're not midgets, Carol.

[Christina P.]

Dwarfs, whatever.

[Tom Segura]

Or bring them together.

[Christina P.]

Hey, welcome. I'm Stephen.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, there you are.

[Christina P.]

This is Steven's father, Bruno.

[Tom Segura]

And his mom kept. And they're like. What the.

[Christina P.]

What the.

[Brad Williams]

They're like space aliens.

[Christina P.]

He could have prepared us for this, don't you think?

[Tom Segura]

If you embarrass me, I'll never speak to again. So just get it together.

[Brad Williams]

I. Great.

[Christina P.]

I think maybe I'm pregnant.

[Tom Segura]

When the going gets rough, it's only the size of your heart that counts.

[Christina P.]

That big of a deal if her.

[Tom Segura]

Kid was at war.

[Brad Williams]

You knocked up this great girl and.

[Christina P.]

You didn't tell her that her baby's.

[Brad Williams]

Probably going to be lit?

[Christina P.]

I'm not like you. We are so cute and cunning. And that was Dinklage.

[Brad Williams]

Bridget, the.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, Bridget the midget's in there, too.

[Brad Williams]

Did she change her name?

[Christina P.]

Back off, Goldie. Homie. My man can do what he wants to do.

[Tom Segura]

I'm ready for an adult relationship.

[Christina P.]

What is this man doing in your bedroom?

[Tom Segura]

This is absolute chaos.

[Christina P.]

Yes, the greatest fight scene since Robert De Niro beat up that one guy. As a 78 year old.

[Brad Williams]

Anyway, we get the point.

[Christina P.]

But, yeah, that's bad. It's.

[Tom Segura]

It's terrific.

[Christina P.]

It's. And. And if you keep going. The joke you made earlier is they go through the cast and then they go. And in the role of a lifetime, Gary Oldman plays a dwarf, which, by the way, they put so many little people in the movie that it makes Gary Oldman's performance look worse because it's like, oh, well, that's what an actual dwarf looks like.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Oh, here's when I showed it to McConaughey.

[Brad Williams]

Let's see it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. And he was like, what? He. He's like, I've never seen this. One of the craziest things that I've ever seen.

[Brad Williams]

Hi, I'm Ralph.

[Christina P.]

I'm his brother.

[Tom Segura]

We're twins. I think you're gonna let me know.

[Christina P.]

That everyone in your family's a midget. They're not midges.

[Tom Segura]

I've shown that to so many people. And they're like, when the. Did SML do this? I'm like, no, this is real, dude.

[Brad Williams]

Like, what the is happening? Maybe I'm prisoned.

[Christina P.]

Wait, this trailer.

[Brad Williams]

So good.

[Christina P.]

I've never seen the trailer around. How does he not see the trailer? I mean, don't get me wrong, it gets really serious.

[Brad Williams]

Come on.

[Tom Segura]

What the.

[Christina P.]

That's real.

[Tom Segura]

The balls of the VO guy to.

[Christina P.]

Combat role of a lifetime. You shot that movie?

[Brad Williams]

Yes.

[Christina P.]

God, I love Bert.

[Brad Williams]

You shot that movie.

[Tom Segura]

What do you think we just watched?

[Brad Williams]

Holy.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

So, like, that's what's out there. And Dinklage took a role in that. Because that's what you do, right?

[Tom Segura]

You have. You have to earn the ability to be like, yeah, I don't do those roles.

[Christina P.]

Yes. It. Like, the same way with standup, we've now earned the right to, like, when someone says, hey, do you want to do a bar show? I could get you free chicken wings. You go, no, I'm good. So, yeah, you have to earn that. So. I would have loved to have played a dwarf in the Snow White film. Although now that I've seen what happened, I'm like, ah, maybe I dodged there.

[Tom Segura]

How do you feel about LP porn?

[Christina P.]

Oh, yeah, Good.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Do you watch a lot of it?

[Christina P.]

No.

[Tom Segura]

Do you ever look at it?

[Christina P.]

No. Because if I want to see a dwarf porn, I. My wife next to a mirror and look left. That's what I do.

[Tom Segura]

About when you were, you know, a growing, developing young man. Nah, never.

[Christina P.]

I didn't. I didn't.

[Tom Segura]

That wasn't Your thing.

[Christina P.]

I didn't watch the dwarf porn, but I. Hey, when I was a single guy. Yeah. I'm really glad it was some people's thing.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

That. That helped me out a lot.

[Tom Segura]

Did it?

[Christina P.]

Yeah. You guys were talking about fetishes before I got on here. Thank God. Some people have a dwarf fetish that.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah.

[Christina P.]

That got me through my 20s.

[Tom Segura]

So there was a lot of ladies who were like, I want to try this.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. And when a. When someone has a fetish and they see an opportunity to engage in the fetish, like, if the fetish is rare, they are very determined. So when a woman would come, like, because we would. Like, if a woman came up to you after the show, there's like a. Hey, maybe will they? Won't they? Whatever? But women would come up to me after shows and be like, this is happening.

[Tom Segura]

Seriously.

[Christina P.]

Like, this is.

[Tom Segura]

This is happening tonight.

[Christina P.]

And I'd be like, okay.

[Tom Segura]

Like, I always wanted to do that.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Were you finding a lot of repeat people or was it just like, this is like a dream I've always wanted to try.

[Christina P.]

I had a little bit of good luck Chuck syndrome for a while. So that references a wonderful Dane Cook movie where. Where Dane's character, when he hooks up the woman, the next guy the woman hooks up with, she marries. That was me for a while. Like, I've got over 15 women that, like, after me, they got married so that I was like their last wild fling to be like, I did something crazy.

[Brad Williams]

May I ask you not to say that you. You beckoned it or welcomed it? A lot of dudes come on to you too. Like, homo fetish.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Like, I feel like that's a male thing more than a female.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, they like the small hands.

[Brad Williams]

Is that right? That's what they would say.

[Tom Segura]

We were at a gay bar last week, and I can say that they had a fetish for your husband as well.

[Brad Williams]

Oh, I know it. Don't. I know it. Don't we all?

[Christina P.]

I mean, you are. You are a bear.

[Tom Segura]

One guy was like, oh, yeah, you're definitely a bottom. I was like, excuse me.

[Christina P.]

I like that you get insulted by it.

[Brad Williams]

Excuse me.

[Tom Segura]

Excuse me.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Don't get me wrong.

[Tom Segura]

He goes, you're so innocent. I go, I. I don't think you know what you're saying.

[Christina P.]

Has he listened to the podcast? I was like, he's like.

[Tom Segura]

He was pretty drunk.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I was like, okay, buddy, don't get me wrong.

[Christina P.]

I'm firmly. I get it. I would be a bottom. I told. I totally understand. That. That.

[Brad Williams]

My ass.

[Christina P.]

My ass is spectacular. Yeah, it's. It's a. It's not an ass. It's a. Like, it's a good ass.

[Tom Segura]

I've noticed.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, yeah, we all have. I mean, come. Come on. So I would probably be a bottom if I were gay, but. And I. I'm sorry, I'm not gay because, man, I'd be cleaning up. Oh, yeah. Sometimes you just think about. You're like, I like, yeah, I got the genetic way being a dwarf.

[Tom Segura]

But it was honestly gay. It was very flattering.

[Brad Williams]

Have men. Gay men. Come on.

[Tom Segura]

Just the comp. Like, you were like, oh, these are like. Because you don't hear. Women don't shower you with compliments.

[Christina P.]

Right?

[Tom Segura]

So, like, I mean, I've been out and, you know, you. Whatever, you might sense that, like, somebody looks at you and they go, oh, that person is giving me a look. But these guys were straight up, like, yes.

[Brad Williams]

Can I tell you a thought I had actually today? I don't have many, but this one thought, you know, men in general, you guys don't get treated nicely. Like, you never. Like, for instance. Yeah, it's really fucked up.

[Christina P.]

That's right. Give it up for the men, everybody.

[Brad Williams]

I'm being serious. So we took. We have a boat. We went on Lake Austin, and Tommy's driving the boat, being the nice captain for like, hours. And it's hot, and everyone else is having fun. Tom didn't have fun. And then we went out for his birthday. I didn't realize it was your birthday dinner. Otherwise I would have bought. Brought cash, credit card. I didn't have anything. And then he had to pay for his own birthday. And I was like, no. But it makes me sad because, like, I would be sad. And then I just thought, like, nobody admires and loves men. Nobody tells you guys. How adorable.

[Tom Segura]

Let me get those socks, baby.

[Brad Williams]

You can have them right now. They're not very stinky, though.

[Tom Segura]

I don't want them.

[Brad Williams]

But nobody tells you guys that you're. You're cute and pretty, and it is.

[Christina P.]

It is nice. Thankfully, I have a wife who does that a lot. And I. Feels really great. It feels really good. And sometimes you just got to hear, hey, good job. Sometimes when you come home with a check, especially for the job that we do, that we never thought that we'd get to where we are, we want to come home with a check and be like, hey, look at this. And they go, wow. Yeah, look at that.

[Brad Williams]

It's awesome.

[Christina P.]

That's pretty great. That's all we need Occasional blow job, but, yeah, overall, just. Yeah, pretty great.

[Tom Segura]

You want to hear a great job? Here's a blow job. Yeah, it's on the menu. The menu is the menu, stupid.

[Brad Williams]

Now. Now I regret saying that. I feel like a doofus. Should we cut that out?

[Christina P.]

No, no.

[Brad Williams]

I just know.

[Tom Segura]

Relatable thing.

[Brad Williams]

You always work and there's no glory, you know? Well, no, you don't get the love. Like, the kids like me so much more than they are, and, like, do you know what I mean? I get better.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. My daughter loves my.

[Tom Segura]

Loves my wife also. I feel like it. Yeah. As men, you kind of go like, yeah, of course. Your mother is like, yeah, I like it. You know, I like when they obviously give me affection, too. But I. I think you. You feel like, oh, it's. It's really good and healthy that your kid goes, mom is everything.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, definitely. And. And don't get me wrong, but I love.

[Tom Segura]

I love the compliments. Yeah, I do.

[Brad Williams]

Yes. And people are just nicer to me, like, because I'm a lady. Overall, I do admit that things are ending. I'm like a blonde white lady.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. It's really great.

[Brad Williams]

Like, I really. People are happy to see me. I walk into a grocery store, it's nothing but smiles. Like, it's pretty great.

[Christina P.]

Can I tell the story about the last time we hung out?

[Brad Williams]

Of course you can. Okay.

[Christina P.]

Last time we hung out, I was here in Austin and saw that you were going to be at the mothership. So I go, yeah, let's go see Christina at the mothership. So we go. And there's a little. There's a little extra security there and making sure who I am and checking an ID and everything like that. I'm like, what's going on here? And I get to the green room, and the. There's a guy sitting outside the green room. He goes, who are you? Like, Brad Williams? I go, who are you here to see? Christina P. Just hold on. Goes into the room, comes back out. All right, you're good. All right. Okay. Christina's really doing well.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Christina P.]

This is great. And then I walk into the green room, and there is Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, wow.

[Christina P.]

And they were in the green room back there.

[Brad Williams]

Such a cool night.

[Christina P.]

That was. That was insane.

[Brad Williams]

That was insane. And I don't think I even talked about it on the show. I kind of talk about it in my act. I did a while ago.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, well, they weren't there.

[Christina P.]

They were there not to hang out with me.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah, yeah, no, no. They they're hanging out with. I don't even want to say who else. It's fine. Delightful, Delightful hang. It was a good hang. They're really nice people.

[Christina P.]

No matter what you think about the politics, Ivanka is stunning. And every answer is a beauty queen answer.

[Brad Williams]

Yes.

[Christina P.]

Like you've been. You've been trained.

[Tom Segura]

Oh my God.

[Christina P.]

This is.

[Brad Williams]

Well, this is unreal. Brad, you know what I realized? Talking to Ivanka is.

[Tom Segura]

What is it? Ivanka?

[Christina P.]

No, Ivana was the mom.

[Tom Segura]

I thought Ivanka was the mom and Ivanka, it's.

[Brad Williams]

Ivanka is the daughter. No, I'm being crazy.

[Tom Segura]

Ivanka is the.

[Brad Williams]

Who is Ivanka?

[Christina P.]

Yeah, Ivanka.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, Ivanka.

[Brad Williams]

She's a chick.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

But anyway, in talking to her and listening to her like it really made me realize what a low class donkey and how, how bottom barrel my upbringing was like. She went to the best schools. You know it like what you're saying. The. The poise and her elegance.

[Christina P.]

She's been trained.

[Brad Williams]

She's been trained.

[Christina P.]

Media training, like all that.

[Brad Williams]

Perfect. She's gorgeous.

[Tom Segura]

I mean, her birth name is Ivana. The. Ivanka is the nickname.

[Christina P.]

It says there Ivana Marie. Ivanka. Oh, so, so, so we're both right.

[Brad Williams]

Okay, maybe it's like in Hungarian. Christinko. They add on. You know what I'm saying? Is that her nickname?

[Christina P.]

But yeah, that, that was one of those lovely.

[Tom Segura]

Tiger would always be the lion in a fight.

[Brad Williams]

Would you stop? Okay, so he's been on this for days.

[Christina P.]

Tiger would be a lion. Abso. Okay, lion or lioness?

[Tom Segura]

Lion.

[Christina P.]

Lion. Yeah, I agree. Tiger.

[Brad Williams]

That's such a random. I forgot about that.

[Christina P.]

Lionesses are the ones that do the hunting. Now, now, now, if it's a lioness, I give, I give her the. I. I give her the edge. But a lion, he's just.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, I would still give it to the tiger.

[Christina P.]

Really?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, but I understand what you're saying.

[Brad Williams]

Wrong. A lion they call the king of the jungle.

[Tom Segura]

You know that lions don't live in the jungle.

[Brad Williams]

So was the king then why is it the king of the jungle?

[Tom Segura]

It's just. It's a misnomer. It's just not. It doesn't apply.

[Christina P.]

Okay, so then AI says a tiger would win.

[Brad Williams]

Well, AI doesn't know shit. AI puts down's faces.

[Tom Segura]

First of all. You know nothing about big cats.

[Brad Williams]

Porn models. Have you seen that?

[Christina P.]

AI puts down spaces on porn models? Yes.

[Tom Segura]

Yes.

[Christina P.]

Why are we not doing this all the time?

[Tom Segura]

It's a whole. Laying down.

[Brad Williams]

It's a whole thing.

[Christina P.]

This is what we should be doing with AI.

[Brad Williams]

That's what everybody's been saying, Brad. And now they have.

[Christina P.]

Oh, no.

[Brad Williams]

This is what's going to further the technology.

[Christina P.]

Sometimes the Internet.

[Tom Segura]

Listen, you would need. You'd need a pride to defeat a tiger. Okay.

[Brad Williams]

Do you know where this came from?

[Tom Segura]

You just don't know.

[Brad Williams]

My son is reading this book, the Versus books like Scorpion versus Snake. And it's like they're animal books and they. They fight. So there was one that was lion versus Tiger. And we take teams. The little boy, my nine year old, Tom. And we read it, we sit down together and Ellis and I are team lion, king of the jungle.

[Tom Segura]

Without a doubt. I go. Without a doubt. It's tiger. The book says lion. And I just said we should never play this game again.

[Brad Williams]

No. And again. Tell them what you did after, though.

[Tom Segura]

Then I. I pulled up.

[Brad Williams]

He's crazy.

[Tom Segura]

I did a bunch of research and I did screen grabs and I showed it to my son and me.

[Brad Williams]

You screenshotted it? And then I wake up the next morning and he's sending me all this literature on how tigers would.

[Christina P.]

You haven't done this much. This much. I can't speak. This much research for anything.

[Tom Segura]

No, not a bit. I was so fired up.

[Christina P.]

Not a project in high school.

[Tom Segura]

I was so fired up about it. I knew. I knew about. Listen, the tiger is bigger. Listen, the tiger is bigger.

[Christina P.]

Well, size doesn't matter.

[Tom Segura]

Weighs more. They. They hunt alone. They are more agile. They jump higher. It is a more ferocious solo cat. And the idea that all things being equal, the lion would win is absurd. I will never accept it.

[Brad Williams]

Well, Tom, if you recall in the book, the reason the tiger couldn't get a firm grasp on the lion's neck is because of its mane.

[Tom Segura]

I know.

[Brad Williams]

It's king like mane. That is a natural defense against such attacks.

[Christina P.]

Fiction or nonfiction? Where. Where is the book listed?

[Tom Segura]

It's exactly.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, there you go.

[Brad Williams]

You're petty. You're being petty.

[Tom Segura]

I'm bringing. Listen. Listen to me right now. Josh Zolo. I want you to book a big cat expert to come in.

[Christina P.]

Call. Call Ron McGill from Zoo. From Zoo Miami.

[Brad Williams]

You know this. Is this real?

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Ron McGill, Zoo Miami. He's like. He's amazing.

[Brad Williams]

He knows everything.

[Christina P.]

He could absolutely tell you.

[Tom Segura]

Is he a big cat expert?

[Christina P.]

He is. He's. He's. He's the head zoologist, Zoo Miami.

[Tom Segura]

Well, we're gonna.

[Brad Williams]

Even though tiger may be physically. Aren't you agile?

[Christina P.]

Are you rich enough to make this happen?

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

To just have a tiger Fight Alliance.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Can't you just do this? You guys are buying like NASCARs for each other. You can't buy a fucking lion.

[Tom Segura]

Maybe something to look into as pets.

[Brad Williams]

We should be having them in our backyard.

[Christina P.]

Why is there a Tiger King and not. And not a Tom King?

[Tom Segura]

I do have. I do have a connection to somebody.

[Christina P.]

In the Middle east.

[Brad Williams]

That Lion King.

[Tom Segura]

I don't think I'll pay for it, but I think this Middle Eastern guy might.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

They do it for fun.

[Christina P.]

I mean, they did like the UFC did, Fight island or whatever, to get around the COVID restrictions. That's what you could do. You and Bert buy an island?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

You know, Poroso's Island?

[Tom Segura]

Sure. Come watch big cats fight.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. And which I would sign up for.

[Tom Segura]

If that were somebody else.

[Brad Williams]

That'd be fucking rad.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. They're.

[Christina P.]

They're.

[Brad Williams]

How come we can make that happen? It's Texas. We can do whatever we want.

[Tom Segura]

Exactly.

[Christina P.]

Very true.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

The south don't give a.

[Tom Segura]

Guys. Good idea. Good idea. We're definitely doing this.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

All right, I'm going to show you these clips.

[Brad Williams]

Okay.

[Christina P.]

All right.

[Tom Segura]

You tell me if it's horrible or hilarious.

[Christina P.]

Oh, is this the.

[Brad Williams]

I hate this. Is this.

[Christina P.]

Is this the influencers?

[Brad Williams]

Actually, I changed my mind.

[Christina P.]

I love this segment that. That's hilarious. Just because it's like, what do you think was gonna happen? Stupid.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

He's gonna be like, splash.

[Christina P.]

But also. But also, like, even with however far you jump, the water doesn't go from the shore to 30ft deep.

[Tom Segura]

Horse.

[Brad Williams]

Can I tell you the. His problem here? I know, I know this, cuz I read about this.

[Christina P.]

Okay.

[Brad Williams]

Oh, see, look. See how the. The hill is on a slant?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

It's going down.

[Brad Williams]

So he needs to jump way further out.

[Tom Segura]

Sure.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Brad Williams]

Down. And he did not do that. He did not execute correctly.

[Christina P.]

I like the person that gasped the second he left or where. Where they went. They knew.

[Brad Williams]

They saw the.

[Christina P.]

They knew. They're like, oh, no, dude.

[Brad Williams]

The sound of him slapping on the sand is.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. And then I. It. And here's the beautiful part about modern, modern society. No one's running. No, no, no. No one's gonna go. They're just. Keep filming. That's the thing. When the. Goes on around you.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Keep filming.

[Tom Segura]

I gotta say, kudos to the cameraman. That's. This is how you want to watch a disaster happen. With real clear composition, you know?

[Brad Williams]

I wish. Can we walk over to him? I like to see if he's breathing. Yeah. No one cares.

[Christina P.]

Hey, Toss it to me. All right. Guess Stove.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, this is a delivery. All right, It's a delivery. This guy's like, you pick it up. Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. You need a dolly, bro.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. So that was real pain.

[Tom Segura]

That was that. I. I have to give huge credit. When you get a scream like that, it automatically becomes hilarious. Like, if it's a great scream, he's in real pain.

[Christina P.]

That scream. That scream should replace the Wilhelm scream.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Like, do you know what the Wilhelm scream is? The will the Wilhelm scream. Just play it and then play the Wilhelm scream and you'll instantly recognize it.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Christina P.]

It's a scream from every movie ever.

[Tom Segura]

That's this guy.

[Christina P.]

That's that guy. There you go. That's the scream from every movie ever. Whenever anyone falls, that's the scream they use.

[Brad Williams]

It's way better.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

There's ours. Is there?

[Christina P.]

Yeah. This was way more authentic.

[Brad Williams]

It always bumps me out to see, like, workers getting hurt.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Like blue collar people getting. Cuz my dad would tell me about these forklift injuries. My dad had a forklift business, and dudes get, like, run over a lot.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

And hurt a lot.

[Christina P.]

That's why I tell jokes. I don't want to be in a forklift where someone can't. Can't see me, and all of a sudden I'm impaled by a forklift.

[Tom Segura]

Really rough.

[Christina P.]

Which, by the way, goes to a premise that I am working on, which is I'm not afraid to die, but I'm just sad that I won't be able to read the tweets the next day.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Because however I die is gonna be funny.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

I have yet to figure out a way that I would die.

[Tom Segura]

I know. Because even if it's gonna be funny, Slow disease. There's still gonna be jokes.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Oh, come on.

[Tom Segura]

If it's a quick accident, there's gonna be tons of jokes.

[Christina P.]

Definitely. Like, you don't think that if, like, a forklift impaled me, there's not gonna be dwarf kebab jokes? Oh, yeah.

[Brad Williams]

And you've heard them all. Like, you've got them all on deck back.

[Christina P.]

Yes. Like, so that's why if I do get a heckler and someone yells out something basic, like, just like, they yell out, like, Oompa Loompa. It's like. You think I haven't heard that? Of course I've got comebacks, bro.

[Tom Segura]

Of course.

[Christina P.]

Like, it's not gonna go well for you.

[Tom Segura]

I was just helping you out, bro.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Yes. All right.

[Brad Williams]

Oh, no. We take our kids to these places oh, the clock.

[Christina P.]

The climbing gyms.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

That guy's gonna go up. He's.

[Brad Williams]

And he's not strapped.

[Tom Segura]

He's not strapped in anything.

[Christina P.]

It's gonna come down. It's gonna come down.

[Tom Segura]

This is gonna hurt. Oh, Jesus Christ.

[Christina P.]

He's.

[Tom Segura]

He's solo climbing way up there now too.

[Brad Williams]

I don't think There's a map.

[Tom Segura]

30Ft right now.

[Christina P.]

He's gonna explode into dust. There he goes. Yep.

[Tom Segura]

That was really loud. He's totally, totally knocked out.

[Brad Williams]

I know it's not America because here we have padded mats that you can.

[Christina P.]

Oh, there'd be way too many lawsuits. Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Sign your life away.

[Christina P.]

We got foam pits and everything like that. This is like, this is like in Estonia or something. Yeah, that's. I mean, to the guy's credit, he tried to, like, spread out and do what you're supposed to do and like, hit as much as your of your body on the ground as possible.

[Tom Segura]

Sound like a shotgun.

[Brad Williams]

I don't like that. Poland. Poland. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah. Let's see how he did. Let's see what it says here. He was 22 years old. He's practicing for a feed. He 50ft. He fell.

[Christina P.]

That's. That's dead, right.

[Tom Segura]

He never hooked into the fall delay system.

[Christina P.]

You're dead. We just saw a man die.

[Tom Segura]

He sustained a major concussion, but was conscious and was treated by Fireman EMTs. It made a slow, full recovery.

[Brad Williams]

Wow.

[Christina P.]

What?

[Tom Segura]

The gym is now under investigation for not properly making sure they're coming. Customers are taking safety measures.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

This was in Poland.

[Brad Williams]

Of course.

[Christina P.]

In Poland. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

He's 22, young guy. Man.

[Christina P.]

Use. They got the clips get in like. I, I, I use all the safety precautions now. Now that I got a kid.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, my God.

[Christina P.]

Helmet, wrist guards. I'm doing. And, and that's just a walk down the street. I got the whole thing.

[Brad Williams]

Oh. Off.

[Christina P.]

Well, d. I know that he lived. I can enjoy it a little more.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

He's only had a concussion. Is that, that's insane.

[Christina P.]

How are his lungs not flying through the back of his body?

[Tom Segura]

That's insane, bro.

[Brad Williams]

I didn't like that one.

[Tom Segura]

I think 50ft is so far.

[Brad Williams]

It's very high. Because even if you hit water, if you jumped off a cliff, you know, like diving, and you hit the water from 50.

[Christina P.]

Done. Yeah, done.

[Tom Segura]

Here's one more for you. This could go poorly. I don't even know what we're setting up here here, but I feel like it's not going to gonna tip.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Truck. That's hot asphalt.

[Tom Segura]

Whoa.

[Christina P.]

A guy flew out of the truck. Wow. Multiple air cartwheels.

[Tom Segura]

That was. Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

I mean, but hold on.

[Christina P.]

Don't you feel the Russian judge gave it a four?

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. Don't you think that injury could have been avoided?

[Christina P.]

Yes. With a seat belt.

[Tom Segura]

Seat belt would have.

[Christina P.]

Tips over.

[Brad Williams]

Like. Why are you flying out, bro?

[Christina P.]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

Full rotation. That's pretty awesome.

[Christina P.]

That's. I don't even know how that happens.

[Tom Segura]

It.

[Christina P.]

It makes you wonder if like as the truck's tipping over, if. If he's like, let me unbuckle my seat belt so I can get out. And then he. And then he flew.

[Tom Segura]

No offense. You would have flipped like three times.

[Christina P.]

Oh, easy. Once again. No way. That's not funny. If that. If. If that's how I go.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah.

[Christina P.]

Flying dwarf. Make a wish.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. How did. Had Brad guy like check out this video. It's pretty funny.

[Christina P.]

Like you. Yeah. You thought your injury went viral. I know. I mean, if I. If I had your injury. But on a little tyke soup.

[Tom Segura]

That.

[Christina P.]

Would be just slip and.

[Tom Segura]

It would be insane.

[Christina P.]

It's going to be epic no matter how I die.

[Tom Segura]

All right, Christina, you want to show them a few?

[Brad Williams]

Are you ready for my tik toks, Brad?

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

I like to focus on the marginalized communities, giving them a voice ways.

[Tom Segura]

There's no way that could beat a tiger.

[Christina P.]

That's a mountain lion.

[Tom Segura]

Yep.

[Brad Williams]

Mouth kissing. Look how angry and annoyed that lion is.

[Christina P.]

I have.

[Brad Williams]

He's like off.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know.

[Brad Williams]

He's not into it.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know if he does. I think he might be look like.

[Christina P.]

Is that Tyson Fury?

[Tom Segura]

He's enjoying it.

[Brad Williams]

He's not an. I don't know. When I kiss our cat like that, you can tell when munchkin enjoys it.

[Tom Segura]

He's tolerating of the paw. Like that's just.

[Christina P.]

I don't like this sounds hypocritical coming from me because I live with two pit bulls that could definitely kill me. But. Yeah. Why would you. Why?

[Tom Segura]

You see, we find all these guys.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

They're usually eastern European or Middle Eastern that have pet lions, tigers, mountain lions, jaguars.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Something goes wrong, you need to get the gun.

[Tom Segura]

Best case scenario, that he had people like clearly at his palace.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And he just released his tiger into the swimming pool. They were all in the pool and they all were like. They all start freaking.

[Christina P.]

Cuz you would.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Because that's a tiger.

[Tom Segura]

It's really crazy.

[Christina P.]

I mean, I'm scared of like a small bird picking me up.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

That's What I have to worry about is walking down the street like. Like someone mistaken me for a. For a small rodent.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And then there goes Brad. And then. That's not.

[Tom Segura]

By the way. That'd be hilarious. Way to go.

[Christina P.]

Hilarious.

[Tom Segura]

Death.

[Brad Williams]

Yo, there's some massive birds out here.

[Tom Segura]

Just picked you up. Oh, yeah, here it is. These guys are all, like, hanging out.

[Christina P.]

Like, hey, it's a pool party.

[Tom Segura]

It's fun. And homeboy's like, oh, I got a fun thing to do.

[Christina P.]

Pose for the pool party. And here comes the tiger. That guy's never moved faster in his life.

[Tom Segura]

Nope, never.

[Christina P.]

The fat slap in the ground is very funny. Yeah, that's always a good sound. Yeah, just get out of the pool.

[Tom Segura]

So crazy.

[Christina P.]

I would never swim faster.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, my God.

[Christina P.]

That's insane.

[Tom Segura]

I like that. It's Arab prank. Pranks.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, that. That. See, that's not a prank to me. No, that's not a. That's not that. That's not a. Hey, April fool.

[Tom Segura]

Freaking out.

[Christina P.]

I. I let my tiger into the pool with you.

[Tom Segura]

That.

[Brad Williams]

No, I would never hang out there again. Hi, every baby. It's me, super small Skyler.

[Christina P.]

That's not small. I know small. You're not small, Skyler.

[Brad Williams]

I'm gonna be showing you how to mod baby hasis with adult teats simply only using your microwave.

[Christina P.]

Finally, a cup of water. Thank God.

[Tom Segura]

Replacement teats and either e. I think we're good. I think we can see what else is out there.

[Brad Williams]

Don't you want to know how to modify it so that you can do it for your adult baby fetish?

[Christina P.]

I think replacement teats are playing Coachella this year. It could be wrong.

[Tom Segura]

It is a good name for a baby.

[Christina P.]

So if someone could find out. Look at the lineup.

[Brad Williams]

You know, I have to say, the people that are into adult babying generally not attractive. They're not.

[Tom Segura]

What are you trying to say?

[Brad Williams]

I'm trying to say it's an unattractive community. They're not.

[Tom Segura]

That's gonna get some. You're gonna. You're in the crowd.

[Brad Williams]

Send me your. Hey, are you like a hot adult baby fetish person? Send the pic and be a genuine one, though. I want you to prove it just like those fart fetish girls.

[Christina P.]

Prove it.

[Brad Williams]

I don't buy it.

[Christina P.]

Now here's a question. After you send your hate mail to Christine.

[Brad Williams]

Sure.

[Christina P.]

Could you tell me, adult baby people, are you mad? You're not a. Oh, wow.

[Brad Williams]

I didn't think they're co opting your culture.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, this is cultural appropriation. Like, are you mad? Like, aren't you looking at me going like, if only I could have been a dwarf. Then I don't have to.

[Tom Segura]

And then there have to be. There has to be dwarves that are into adult baby play, God willing. And they're the gods God willing.

[Christina P.]

Because that's just, like, also, you save so much money. You just have a normal pack and play.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

You don't have to. You have to modify the crib.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

At all.

[Tom Segura]

You don't have to do this stupid shit. Right.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. You're fine. Everything just fits you. You could still fit in the Oshkosh stuff.

[Tom Segura]

I want you to change my die dye.

[Brad Williams]

You have to wear adult diapers. But would you. What size diaper would you have to get?

[Christina P.]

I mean, like I said, I got a dumper on me. So it'd be a big one.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. It'd be like, It's a big di.

[Tom Segura]

Die.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, it's a big one.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Wow. But, yeah, like, isn't that the life? If you're a dwarf but you also have a baby play fetish, Then you.

[Tom Segura]

Got dealt the cards you wanted.

[Christina P.]

World is your oyster. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

It's really awesome.

[Christina P.]

My husband and I have been in an open relationship for 15 years, and.

[Tom Segura]

We still regularly really have to check in. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Regarding transparency.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And when I say transparency, I mean, how much do I tell my husband about what I've done with other people? And how much does he tell me? We have specific rules that we follow. We have a saying called privacy, but no secrets. But it's still not the same as how much do I tell you based on what I've experienced and how you are feeling. Keep your hands happened. And afterwards I was like, oh, my gosh, I want to tell you everything. This is what I ate, and this is what happened. This is how I felt. And oh, my God, he said, I don't want to know the details. He said, danielle, I'm really happy that you had a good time. I love that we give each other this freedom and this permission in our marriage. But right now, for the place that I'm in, I don't want to know the details. Yes.

[Tom Segura]

And that can be hard for me.

[Christina P.]

Because I often feel that if I'm not providing all of the information, then I'm hiding something from my husband right now.

[Brad Williams]

Same way I feel the same way.

[Christina P.]

Hiding all the details. Dick.

[Brad Williams]

Like, when I go on a date, Tom, and I've got that nre, I just want to share it with you. I want you to share the Joy with me of, like, what did I eat? And, like, I suck his dad.

[Christina P.]

And, like, I love how the details of the date that she described.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

I found so incredibly boring. Like, what I ate. How we talk. I'm like, hey, if. If we're in this thing, get to the sex part.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Let me get my dick out. Get to the sex part.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Talk about that.

[Tom Segura]

I think he was like, I know what you did on this date, and I'm good right now.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I don't need to hear.

[Brad Williams]

I don't want to hear it.

[Tom Segura]

Because it wasn't. By the way, it wasn't the food that he didn't want to hear about.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

He was like, I don't. You could tell me what you ate anytime. I don't want to hear about the details of you blowing this guy.

[Christina P.]

I have friends that are in open relationships, and the ones that are the ones that work everyone is getting laid at about the same rate. The ones that don't work are the ones where, hey, we're in an open relationship, and one's getting. And one's getting laid.

[Brad Williams]

That's a good point.

[Christina P.]

And. And the other is not.

[Brad Williams]

It's a really good point.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. If. If there's that imbalance there.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. You guys get laid equally.

[Brad Williams]

Oh, yeah.

[Christina P.]

Okay, Good.

[Brad Williams]

Open poly by.

[Christina P.]

Awesome.

[Tom Segura]

Awesome.

[Christina P.]

That's good. Like. Like, as long as y'all are keeping your numbers up at about the same rate.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Then you're good.

[Tom Segura]

Then we're good.

[Brad Williams]

I love it. It's. It's just all I think about is dating. Dating. Yes. I have two children, and.

[Tom Segura]

Thank God. Thank God we have this open poly mindset. Said, look, got kids.

[Brad Williams]

These two, by the way. It's like, I don't know how you're.

[Tom Segura]

Doing, and I didn't want to hear hand.

[Brad Williams]

It's all.

[Christina P.]

Hands are just like. She's like, this story. This is a story about open relationships, and I'm bored. How bad at storytelling do you have to be about open relationships? And I'm bored to tears.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, let's.

[Christina P.]

Boo. I love you so much. Yes. And, you know, it's what I think I'm about to have a love surge. A love surge. Really? Do you think so?

[Tom Segura]

Huh?

[Christina P.]

I love you too.

[Tom Segura]

It's the kind of guy you see at, like, the don't let the pigeon kind of musical.

[Brad Williams]

The low IQ adults that are attending.

[Tom Segura]

With, you know, My first thought of when I saw this person doing this, I just think of the parents. Parents being like, yeah, like, his parents are like, God damn.

[Christina P.]

Can you imagine being his parents? And then you're at a cocktail party, and then someone goes like, hey, so how's Danny doing? And you're just like, good. Dead. He's dead.

[Tom Segura]

Or another parent. Like, you see this dork?

[Christina P.]

It's your kid.

[Tom Segura]

Like, that's our son.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. And then, like, this is what I like about your podcast. I like. I like many things about your podcast.

[Brad Williams]

Thank you.

[Christina P.]

But one thing about the podcast that I really enjoy is you guys are bringing shame back.

[Tom Segura]

Thanks, man.

[Christina P.]

And I really appreciate that, because we need shame. Again, too many people are just like, no, this is me. This is who I am. I can do whatever.

[Tom Segura]

And don't be yourself.

[Christina P.]

No, no. There's certain times, certain parts about yourself. Everyone's, like, trying to live their authentic life. No, some of that in.

[Tom Segura]

I say this to my mother all the time. Whenever she's like. She's like, well, I can't help being who I am. I go, yes, you can. And you should. Should, like, don't. Don't say the thing that you think you can't say. You can not say it.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Just.

[Christina P.]

You could. Just not.

[Tom Segura]

Here's the. This should be your note, your new mantra. I'm gonna not be myself.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. Well, because when you think about it, you're bringing shame on your family. You're bringing shame on everything. And thankfully, my family doesn't give a. So I. Yeah, I do and say as I please. But, yeah, like, if you came from a normal place.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. You don't have to share all your thoughts and you don't have to. Definitely don't have to make videos.

[Christina P.]

Definitely don't. Like, you know, stuff happens in. In the. In the news, and you have thoughts that might not be aligning. You could just not.

[Brad Williams]

Not share it.

[Christina P.]

You don't have to do the Instagram video going like, you know, these.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Crisis actors that were. Or whatever the heck.

[Brad Williams]

Israel, Palestine.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Yeah. Like, no one. I've had a friend say, brad, you. You haven't posted about Israel, Palestine, don't care. I. I'm gonna stop them from fighting.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

They've been fighting for thousands of years. But I'm gonna make one tweet and they're like, hold on. The dwarf said something. Let's check in.

[Tom Segura]

Somebody also shame. Tried to shame me about that.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Somebody was like, your silence on Israel. Israel and Palestine speaks volumes. I'm like, good, great.

[Christina P.]

Because I also. I don't know.

[Brad Williams]

I don't know.

[Christina P.]

I don't know.

[Tom Segura]

We're equipped.

[Christina P.]

I'm Not. Not. I don't have the knowledge and I don't really trust the people to give me the right information.

[Tom Segura]

Jokes about how their balls smell. Need to weigh in on this conflict.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

That's insane.

[Christina P.]

Oh, I mean, you. I mean, you have access to Ted Cruz.

[Tom Segura]

So in that way, in that way.

[Christina P.]

Maybe, maybe you can influence some policies. Is a size 16 18.

[Tom Segura]

Jesus.

[Brad Williams]

According to the CDC. I can't be true. But let me tell you something that's.

[Christina P.]

Going to blow your mind.

[Brad Williams]

Okay? Airplane seats, the ones we're all crammed into, they're realistically designed to fit someone who's a size 6 to 8 comfortably. That's based on seat widths of 17 to 18 inches and clothing size charts.

[Christina P.]

So let me ask you this.

[Brad Williams]

If the seats aren't built for plus sized people and they aren't built for the average person, who are they even working for?

[Tom Segura]

Most people.

[Brad Williams]

And here's what's wild. Most of you know these seats are too small. You've thought it yourself. How long is in person? This woman's walking says it. You nod along like, yeah, they're awful.

[Christina P.]

The second a fat person says it.

[Brad Williams]

Though, suddenly it's entitlement. And let's be real, that's not about the seats. That's about you.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's true.

[Christina P.]

I hate videos like this.

[Brad Williams]

I know.

[Christina P.]

I hate videos like this that tell you what. You think you've been on the plane and you've had a thin person be like, these seats are too small. And you've nodded in agreement, but no, actually, no, I haven't. No, that's never happened. Also, no one's gonna look at me and say, these seats are too small because I'm gonna be like, what are you talking about? This is great.

[Tom Segura]

Cadillac duplex.

[Christina P.]

I am. All right.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. This is nonsense.

[Christina P.]

And as someone who, you know, frequently gets denied to do certain activities. Yeah, there's. There's a lot of activities I just don't get to do.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And that's just, Just the reality of it.

[Tom Segura]

It's just how a world works.

[Christina P.]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

We're not building everything for absolutely everyone.

[Tom Segura]

I mean, with this person. We've done it before and people get upset, but the truth is, it's kind of what you said. This person just needs to be shamed. Yeah, you should be shamed for being this size and, you know, like this. What she needs to do is just go to a camp and. And drop.

[Brad Williams]

Lose some lbs. And also, by the way, America is really the only country that, for, like, allows People to be fat and. No, it's great.

[Christina P.]

Great.

[Brad Williams]

If you go to Europe, guess what? Do you think they're going to be cool with you being overweight? They shame you into losing the weight. You may not be in Asia. They'll shame.

[Tom Segura]

Like, what they, what they would tell her is like, yeah, you shouldn't fly ever.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Even if, like, if it's a six day road trip, do it. Because, yeah, do it.

[Christina P.]

There, there's a, there's a video. Maybe you guys can find it. It came across my Instagram recently about, there's like either a restaurant or a theme park where it's like, the thinner you are, the more of a discount you get. Like, like, they have like these doors. It's like, all right, if you can fit through this door, that's amazing. Then you get 10% off. But this door, 20% off and it like, encourages you to be thinner. Is that it?

[Tom Segura]

Probably in Korea.

[Christina P.]

Yes, yes, there it is.

[Brad Williams]

100% off. Do it.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, she's not getting through the 100.

[Christina P.]

Off, but she's getting 50.

[Tom Segura]

50.

[Christina P.]

That's pretty good, girl.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah, this is Asia. This is how they roll, dude.

[Christina P.]

And by the way, I'm not saying this to be like, oh, you, you can't feel like. Because I, I get it. Weight is hard. But it's like, we're doing this for your, your health. It's not healthy to be that size.

[Tom Segura]

And then there should be a thing on the other side of that where it goes. This is how much more you're gonna pay over. You know what I mean? Like, you get a surcharge. If you can't fit through those, you go to the next one. Like, all right, now you're gonna pay 10% more and then 20% more.

[Christina P.]

More.

[Tom Segura]

And then that heifer in the, in the airplane, they're like, you're gonna pay triple the price.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. There's just some things that not everyone gets to do.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Brad Williams]

Oh, my God. So I'm, I'm listening to this Hungarian podcast where you, like, you practice listening in Hungarian.

[Christina P.]

Okay.

[Brad Williams]

And this girl moved from Budapest to San Antonio two years ago, and she's like, I have gained 30 pounds because I love nachos. I've never had nachos before, and I love nachos.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

And all your American food is so tasty and I'm so fat.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

Yes, it is hungry.

[Brad Williams]

You don't eat like that.

[Christina P.]

I did my first European tour last year and went to places like Copenhagen and Norway. And I was just looking around like, there's no fat people. No fatties there. What the. And then you read the menu. It's like, it's all fish. It's all, like, vegetables and stuff like that. You're like, oh, okay, yeah, didn't see one.

[Brad Williams]

Waffle House, nothing fried.

[Christina P.]

Don't be wrong. I love Waffle House. I need to stop going there because it's too good. But, yeah, I need it all the time.

[Tom Segura]

All right, we have to wrap up. If you want to see Brad and you should on tour, go to Brad williamscomedy.com if you want to see his latest special. It's called Starfish. It's available now on YouTube.

[Christina P.]

Can I plug one more thing?

[Brad Williams]

Of course.

[Christina P.]

I just came out with a hot sauce. Oh, Death by dwarf hot sauce.

[Tom Segura]

How hot is it?

[Christina P.]

There's one that's a ghost pepper. That's a 10 out of 10. And that's. I tried it for a video that I'm going to be posting soon and was not fun. But the other ones were really good. Meo habanero is my favorite. So just go to bradwilliamscomy.com there's a link. Death by dwarf hot sauce. There it is.

[Brad Williams]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Christina P.]

Holy. Dude made a freaking hot sauce. And they're actual bottles. They're not like. Like the little mini Tabasco ones. Although we tried.

[Tom Segura]

Dude, that's awesome.

[Brad Williams]

You gotta send us some. We'll have it in the studio.

[Christina P.]

I will absolutely send you guys some death by dwarf hot sauce.

[Brad Williams]

So rad.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So please.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of hot sauce collectors out there. There you might have the offspring hot sauce or the Lemme hot sauce. Get a little. Get a little death by dwarf hot sauce.

[Brad Williams]

That's good stuff.

[Tom Segura]

Amazing. Thank you very much for coming in.

[Brad Williams]

Thank you.

[Tom Segura]

Congratulations on everything.

[Christina P.]

Thank you guys.

[Tom Segura]

And we'll see you guys next week.

[Brad Williams]

Bye, jeans.

[Tom Segura]

Bye. My fellow Americans, there's one mystery we have not yet solved in this country, and that is where all the comments.

[Brad Williams]

Where's the common.

[Christina P.]

How often am I doing this? Every day.

[Brad Williams]

I know.

[Tom Segura]

You can't control.

[Christina P.]

Asshole. Cool stuff, slick stuff, neat stuff, left behind. Right?

[Tom Segura]

I'm back. I'm.