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Battle Creek, Michigan. I am coming to the Firekeepers Casino on Friday, May 9th. The pre sale goes live tomorrow, Thursday, February 6th at 10:00am Eastern with the code word Tommy. Well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.
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If you like the words food, football and 40% off, then Instacart has the perfect big game deal for you right now. On the Instacart app, you can get $10 off a $25 order of eligible game day essentials like chips, dips, sips and chicken strips. So what are you waiting for? Free snacks with your order? Because yeah, Instacart has those too. Fees, taxes and terms apply. Eligible items only while supplies Last expires on February 9th.
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Me in my ass by that same French excellent saying.
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Like.
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You know what I'm saying. Do anyone understand? Man, that Ghost crew, I missed that. I missed that Ghost cruise, the show.
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That was like a trip down. All my favorites. Homeless man gets by gay Ghost. It's probably one of the top clips on the Internet ever, ever.
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Me in my eyes, man.
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Feels good. Feels good when you're me.
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Yeah.
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And he really gets into it.
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Even have that.
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Oh, for sure. And then. Feels good.
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Yeah.
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Feels good when you.
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Ah. Yeah. Yeah, it's. It's pretty great. It is really great.
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For those of you don't know, it's a homeless guy who thinks he's being anally sexed and he's in an alleyway on his back and he's got his legs in the dye and he's my ass man.
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He's talking to nobody.
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He's talking to nobody.
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But that's why it's called Gay Ghost.
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This should be easy. But what always gets me about Homeless Guy Gets by Gay Ghost is his level of passion.
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Oh, he's so into it. Yeah. No, I would say to most people you've never had a real person react that way.
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It's enviable.
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It shows you that the imagination is stronger than anything.
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Sex is in the mind.
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It's in the mind.
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That's what I've heard.
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Yeah.
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How are you doing?
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I'm good. How are you?
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I'm great. I just want to make a little announcement before we go forward. That Valentine's Day is fast approaching and gentlemen.
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Yeah.
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You should definitely get your lady the perfect four. You get all four of my lipsticks in one one parcel. Go to christinap.com and buy it now. Right before Valentine's Day. Perfect timing.
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Absolutely. Don't compliment that. Just buy her a gift.
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You know I miss that. Oh, there's my ads. I'm so excited. There's all kinds of new photos up on my website. You're going to see for this lipstick company. It's just too exciting.
A
Also, I would consider these, but also, I just have to give a plug. Fancy Chef is offering incredible Valentine's Day packages. I've seen it on his page. Yeah, he's doing strawberries. Oh, Panties and diamonds.
B
What? Yeah, Panties and diamonds.
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Yeah. Yeah, he's got multiple. Yep. I've seen him plug them. So if you're considering, you know.
B
Oh, wow.
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Yeah. Doing that. Yeah. He's got a Super bowl package also. But Valentine's he's really been into.
B
That's really exciting. But unfortunately, I mean, I don't know if he's changed his booking policy, but last time, if he doesn't have a mansion, he wasn't going to do house.
A
Mansions, yachts, castles, millionaires. Oh, there's. I bet you those strawberries right there in the middle of that plate, I bet you that's Valentine's. Valentine's Day.
B
Yeah.
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Yeah.
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They look really good.
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He's like, let's check that out. You can get that for about, like.
B
Yeah.
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3, 400. He sends you those.
B
Yeah.
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Good deal.
B
Look, I couldn't think of something like that. Yeah, three strawberries positioned so beautifully. Yeah, it looks good.
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It spells Valentine's Day, Chef. Well, he's never said Valentine's Day, so I don't know why you're. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty. It's pretty, guys. Yeah, he's got. I've seen him. If you scroll down, I think. Oh, right there on the car. I bet you that's a Valentine's Day post.
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Oh.
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Oh. Valentine's Day. I got my diamond special and I got my platinum special.
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Sure.
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350 for the platinum and up.
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Wow.
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500 for the diamond. Strawberries, alcohol, Moet, Chardonnay. Book me and book me now. Right this sh. Look how beautiful ladies put on your face. Yeah, right, ladies, write me fancy chef. 100gmail.com. Place your order. Listen to me good. February 10th is the deadline. You want my strawberries? The ranch. I've been asking for strawberries.
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Me, now.
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All right. New York City, New Jersey, Connecticut. Book me now. You want this on your face. You want your baby boy to rub it down on you? Book me, baby.
B
You get it?
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Wow. Secrets in the packages I got. You want the big boat.
B
Yep.
A
Yeah. All right, guys. Nice.
B
He's so good at marketing, so fantastic. And if you haven't tried his strawberries with ranch, do yourself a Favor and get on that now.
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I would love to hear of somebody ordering this just to see what the unboxing is like. So I hope one of you lets us know that you got the three or five hundred dollars special with cream, strawberries, ranch panties, diamonds. It's got to be just.
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Yeah.
A
I wonder what the margin is on that. I wonder.
B
What he cost is candies and diamonds.
A
I mean, he's probably losing money for sure.
B
Yeah, but that's the artist. He is.
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Yeah, he's giving. He's giving you something.
B
Yeah.
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That's very exciting, guys.
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We have so many good things on this episode.
A
It's so great. Okay, are you ready for the show to start?
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I'm ready.
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Let's do it.
B
Hello.
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I mean, this woman's was beautiful, and I buried my face in it for an hour and a half, and I am not ashamed. Yeah.
B
Who is?
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Randy.
B
Welcome.
A
Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura and Christina P.
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Welcome to your mom's house. Oh, feel that. Meow, meow, meow, meow.
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I mean, this woman's was beautiful.
B
Oh, stop.
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Well, stop it, Howard. Honestly, I really don't understand. How does this not arouse you? Seriously?
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You know what? Yes. I'm aroused.
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Okay.
B
Thank you, Obvi.
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Okay.
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I mean, it just makes you really understand the deep need. The sexual needs that men have.
A
Yeah, they are deep. And I also feel like this is a wonderful message that this man said. I think that your natural recoil that I witnessed is simply due to the packaging. In other words, if this were a different man, you'd be like, okay, all.
B
Right, I'll go with you on this journey.
A
Okay.
B
Which man?
A
Well, you all hold on.
B
And also, terrible. Thank you. And also, it's delivery. The way he says it is very desperate. I was in this woman's.
A
He's confessing.
B
Yeah, but it's not hot. If it's a. If it's a dude who's like. If he says it with more confidence.
A
Yeah, I get you. Well, maybe he's just trying to work up to that confidence.
B
Do you think Henry Cavill would even say these words? Well, he wouldn't say that. Not my Henry.
A
I think he might in a different setting. He's not going to say it in a press junket, but I think if you were. If we were sitting around, we're smoking cigars, talking about our life's work.
B
Yeah.
A
And I. And then I was, you know, talking about his travels. He was like, oh, man.
B
That's what I. Yeah, that's different.
A
I Was in the south of France.
B
Yeah.
A
And this woman's was just beautiful, man.
B
That's different.
A
Right? It's different. So I'm saying the message is the same. It's right. The packaging and the delivery.
B
But you know, with everything, Tom. Sure, with everything.
A
But let's watch this guy again.
B
No, it's okay. I got it.
A
I mean, this woman's was beautiful and I buried my face in it for an hour and a half. And I am not ashamed. I'll tell you something though.
B
No one's shaming him.
A
But here's the thing. He is ashamed. Like the way he's saying it, right. He's like, I'm not ashamed.
B
Yeah.
A
That's like a shame.
B
Right?
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He feels.
B
Well, you think somebody shamed him for that?
A
Well, I'm saying his. His body language and the way he's saying it, you. It infers shame.
B
You think he's like. Like raised evangelical Christian or something weird.
A
Maybe he still has guilt about that kind of thing. What I also find interesting is that he's. You know, is this just. Is someone asking him a question or is he just like. I got to get this out there.
B
That's always. It's a really good point because that's a. That's a different video.
A
Can you fucking stop?
B
That's a different post. I think I have a little cold or something. Kids.
A
So gross. But he wants to fucking hear that just for that.
B
Anyway.
A
Play it again. I mean, this woman's was beautiful.
B
I mean. Yeah, I guess he's got. Yeah. Is it. Is it like a support group for men that are ashamed of enjoying women's vagines? Is it.
A
I don't think it's a support group. I really feel like he. He hasn't been able to share this and he's. And it's been inside of him for so long.
B
Deep shame about love.
A
Because that's an old story. I don't think it's something that happened last week.
B
Okay. You know what I'm. I just realized. Btw, what tangent. Why do you say it was?
A
Just because you're so gross with. You're clearing your throat. When am I supposed to turn away from the mic?
B
I'm a broadcaster. I gotta. Clearing the instrument before turn away. But then how will you hear it?
A
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For additional terms gaming resources, see DKNG Co Audio. Valentine's Day is coming up, and for me, there's only one place I trust. 1-800flowers.com Every year I order stunning, high quality bouquets from 1-800-flowers that my wife absolutely loves.
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So true.
A
Isn't that true? And this year, I'm partnering with 1-800-FLOWERS to make sure you're a Valentine's hero with an exclusive offer for our listeners. Double the roses for free. When you buy one dozen, they'll double your bouquet to two dozen roses. It's the perfect way to say I love you without breaking the bank. Trust me, 1-800-FLowers always delivers.
B
Jean, I loved the black roses that you got me for this Valentine's Day. You really know me.
A
Flowers, man. You can't lose when you get flowers. No, all roses from 100 Flowers are picked at their peak, cared for every step of the way, and shipped fresh to ensure lasting beauty. Think ahead. This year when you order one dozen, they'll double the rose bouquet for free. A great value. Bouquets are selling fast, so lock in your order today. Win their hearts this Valentine's with 1-800-flowers.com to claim your double your roses offer, go to 1-800flowers.com YMH that's 1-800-flowers. Com YMH. Go ahead. What?
B
I know I'm forgetting my point. Okay, listen, listen, listen. What I'm trying to say, your honor, is that I severe and I this. I have to thank Dr. Drew Pinsky.
A
Yeah.
B
Number one, he really alerted me to the fact of how sexually motivated men are. And I really didn't understand this. I was so naive to it my entire life up until about five years ago, I really did not understand. And in fact, I saw like a TikTok or something where this guy was like, Men and women talk to each other for different reasons. Okay. So, for instance, men think that when a woman talks to them, it's because they're interested in them sexually. Okay. But women, from our point of view, I'll talk to anybody most of the time when I'm in a good mood. I wouldn't say that. But like, I, I, I talk to men, and I don't even to men, I would think, disgusting, vile. I'm never going to have sex with you. There's nothing sexual. But I didn't realize that, that every time I was talking to a dude, they're like, this girl wants me. Like, why else is she paying attention to me? She wants to bang me, obviously. I mean, I guess, like in the past, you would always be like, oh, you think he's hot? You flirted with him? I'm like, no, I just, you know what I mean? I just like, I, I like people. I don't think of it, I don't.
A
Think of you as a people person.
B
I think, this is not now. I used to be. I think, I think the older I get, the, the I'm tired, I'm weary. I only want to hang out with types of folks I really gel with.
A
Yeah.
B
Like, if we're not on the same frequency and you're a normie or you're, you know what I mean? You're, you're low vibe. I can't, I can't.
A
Yeah.
B
I can't explain myself to you.
A
Yeah. I mean, you know, I think. Well, but some of this is like the context of a conversation. So, like, if a man approaches a woman, right. A lot of times, like, in other words, you're sitting there, someone just walks over and talks to you. That's usually a sign of interest from them. Man.
B
For sure.
A
Yeah.
B
But this guy on Tik Tok was like, I just assumed that when a woman talks to me that she likes, she must like, like me. Like, have an interest in me. Otherwise, because men are the way, like, men don't Talk to women? Yeah, unless they're interested. Right. Like, do you just talk to random broads?
A
I mean, I don't. I definitely don't think that a woman who says something to me is interested in me. I think that's a crazy thought of that guy. But I also think that there's different. Like, there are guys who are. Usually. They're off when they think like that.
B
Oh, so maybe this guy was off. I can't imagine anybody on TikTok is off.
A
Yeah, I think. I think a guy is definitely. He's not used to being around women. If his first thought when a woman talks to him is, like, this woman likes me.
B
Yeah, because he was saying, I don't talk to a woman unless I'm interested.
A
All my audio just cut out. I don't have any audio.
B
Do you hear that? Oh, my God. Did you hear that?
A
I didn't. So there's only one good. Happy birthday, governor. That came in this week, but it's a good one.
B
All right, I'm so. I love these. I wish. I want to see more and more and more.
A
Please send them in. It's a British accent. And you say, happy birthday and you get your coffee.
B
Welcome to Starbucks. I was writing anything to eat for you?
A
No, thank you, love. Could I get a venti hot pistachio latte, please? Wow.
B
Yeah.
A
Could you make that with moose soup?
B
With what?
A
I'm sorry. How do you say in English? Oat milk.
B
Okay, in English.
A
What else? Cheese Danish is talking to me now. You know, I'm trying not to eat carbs when I see it, though.
B
No carbs in that. Oh, I know.
A
When I see it, I think, just let me eat you one time.
B
I better not, love.
A
Let's just stick with the latte, please.
B
Anything else?
A
That's it.
B
Okay, hop on out.
A
Thank you. Happy birthday. What's.
B
Everybody.
A
How are you?
B
Oh, F, A, R, T. Let me grab.
A
Okay, sniff that one. Oh, you know what? Here you go, love.
B
Sniff.
A
Birthday.
B
Thank you. You want to tap for me? Oh, it didn't tap.
A
Let me try again.
B
Thank you.
A
Thank you.
B
Happy birthday.
A
Wow, that was great, man. Thanks, Landon.
B
Wow.
A
He. He. He pulled out the hits. Yeah, sniff that one.
B
Moose soup. That's a deep cut, right?
A
So let me eat you one time. That's great.
B
Thank you so much. That really was outstanding.
A
Really great. So follow Landon's lead. As British as you can get. The stronger the cockney accent, the better.
B
And you have to. You have to get Happy birthday.
A
Happy birthday in there. He got in way more Than that.
B
I mean, look, incredible. If you guys are afraid to do the accent, we understand. Maybe can we open it up to any accent of your choice?
A
Sure, sure. That's good. Yeah.
B
Because he did kind of descend into Australian.
A
Yeah, he. He.
B
He was all over the place.
A
She was definitely like, this guy's insane. She kept a smile on her face. Like, yeah, she knew there's a crazy person. But sure, yeah, go ahead and do different accents. That's fine.
B
You just have to get a happy birthday.
A
Yeah, but just don't do an American accent. No, do some accent, you know?
B
Yeah, you can do Canadian. Eh? It's super easy.
A
Yeah, do it.
B
Or you can do. You do it as a Laria Baldwin. How do you say.
A
How do you say. He said in English. How do you say in English? He goes. How do you say in English, oat milk? What the. That's insane.
B
How do you say oat leche?
A
My God.
B
In my country, we order. We say happy birthday.
A
Okay, now is a good time. Yeah, but no, what you were saying is, though, you were right, though, is that there is a. A constant hum that exists in men. That is a sexual drive that I think women's is, like, can be turned on and off depending on their connection to somebody. But a man's just. Just like, just stays there.
B
Static. Well, also, it's contingent on our moon cycles as well. You know what I'm saying?
A
Yeah.
B
You know what I mean?
A
But here's a perfect example of how a man is always feeling it.
B
My. What? What did he just say?
A
He was.
B
What did he even say?
A
Well, Nicki Minaj. But it sounded like something else.
B
Yeah, Nicki Minaj, how you doing, baby?
A
Well, shake it in my face. Shake that puss in my face.
B
Yeah, straight up. God.
A
Shake that in my face.
B
Yeah, I got it.
A
Make me happy. And look, check this out, y'all. Oh, God, that girl I seen to the store.
B
What?
A
Yeah, yeah. I like them little draws. She wearing them little bikini. This man's message has not changed in a decade. He's in his 60s, by the way, you know. Yeah. Put your bikini in your booty. In your ass. In my face, girl. I'mma pass my tongue in your ass like a pit bull, straight up.
B
Got it. Oh, yeah.
A
I'mma pass my tongue in your ass and I'mma get me that taco.
B
I got it.
A
Put it in your ass and I'mma eat it.
B
He's going to put my taco in my ass.
A
Yeah. And then eat it. That's my baby girl now. But Here's a perfect example though. This guy. This is what I was trying to tell you earlier. This guy.
B
Yeah.
A
If a woman was like, I'm sorry, where's the Shell station? He'd be like, she's trying to. Yeah, I mean, so that's what I'm saying. Guys who are like, if any question is asked, they go, well, you like me. Yeah, that's. This is an example.
B
Yeah. You know, but I do feel my younger in my twenties. He loves us. Can I ask anything stupid? I think you're gonna have a stroke. You better.
A
It's Nicki Minaj.
B
But is he saying it deliberately? The wrong.
A
No, I don't think so. You think he's doing Baby think so.
B
Wait, play it again, I want to hear it. Is it Nword Minaj or is it.
A
That's what came on.
B
This could be our whole new thing of what is he saying?
A
He knows it's Nicki Minaj. He does know that. There's no way. He was like, I'll just call her that. That's so crazy, right? Yeah, yeah. You know, to add that to my drop folder, I think.
B
Definitely.
A
Yeah.
B
Oh, one more, once more.
A
Okay, ready?
B
Hold on, hold on. I really want to hear it.
A
Okay, here we go.
B
Yeah, he's definitely dropping.
A
Do you think she hear that? Be like, oh, that's interesting. Nice way to be called out. Thank you for saying that to me. We all take supplements or at least we know we should. But why are so many supplement companies charging outrageous prices for products that aren't even that impressive? It's frustrating and honestly, unacceptable. That's why I want to introduce you to Livegood, a brand that's shaking up the supplement industry. Livegood believes everyone deserves high quality supplements without the crazy markups they offer. Premium products made by top natural health experts, cutting out the middleman for the lowest prices. From organic super greens to protein powder and skincare, all their products are top quality and affordable. No wonder they're the fastest growing supplement brand with over 1.5 million customers. Ready to make the switch and start saving. We'll make it even easier for you. Use our link and you can save an additional 10% off your first order on top of the already lowest prices. Just go to livegood.com ymh to save 10% off your first order. That's livegood.com ymh. Don't miss out out on this opportunity to invest in your health without overspending.
B
Gene. I have Shopify the app on my phone all weekend long. I could see when I was selling my lipsticks. It's so cool.
A
Your lipsticks are on fire and Shopify is telling you that it. It's really working. Nobody does selling better than Shopify. It's home to the number one checkout in the world and the not so secret secret shop pay, which boosts conversions by up to 50%, meaning fewer abandoned carts and more sales. If you're serious about growing your business, your commerce platform needs to be ready to sell wherever your customers are. On the web, in your store, in the feed, and everywhere in between. Businesses that sell more sell on Shopify. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout Alo and Skims use. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period@shopify.com momshouse all lowercase. It's the same thing that Jeans use to sell us her lipstick. Go to shopify.com momshouse to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.comm o m S H O U S E that's wild. So Trump's been in office now not long. I thought that was a good segue. He might call her that. Who's that singer? The one with the big ass that's been singing I like her. So he's been in office signing executive orders every day.
B
He's on fire.
A
On fire. Deporting people.
B
Yeah.
A
Free and pardoning people. Changing. You know, militaries get. Getting the transgenders out. Just a lot of. She's just like.
B
And there's. But there's only two genders now, which is so boring. I know we gotta change our bathroom.
A
But this is what I love about how art reacts to political climate or big things that happen in the world. That's what artists do. They react, right?
B
Yes.
A
There's war or there's, you know, somebody in power, and then you get, you know, an artist maybe paints something incredible or a movie comes out that touches on this subject. And in this case, a song that speaks, I think, to so many people. I've just been. This has been on repeat in my car. So gorgeous.
B
Black and indigenous people of color. Black and indigenous people of color. Lesbian, gay, bi, transgender and queer. Lesbian, gay, bi, transgender and queer. Asian American, Pacific Islander. Asian American, Pacific Islander.
A
Latino, Hispanic, Romani, Creole. Latino, Hispanic, Romanian, Creole.
B
We all have a place in this world. We all have a place in this world. Wow.
A
So that woman, though, wow, what a beautiful song that is.
B
Yeah. Who is that?
A
Molly Goller.
B
Thank you.
A
She posts videos of her and her family band, the Gawler Family, playing instruments. This is a. A video where she composed about black, indigenous, and people of color. She only has 85 subscribers on YouTube, so hopefully that number goes up and this video has amassed over 2000 views. I think it's really resonated with people.
B
Well, I liked she brought up the Romani people, which I know that's the one.
A
That's why I lost half the people that like the song. But.
B
But then she lumped in the Romany with the Creoles, which I thought are Creole people. Are they discriminated against?
A
Oh, maybe. I mean, they realize they're marginalized.
B
Are they marginalized, the Creoles? I really didn't think of them as.
A
It feels like a question for Nicki Minaj. But I feel like the thing that is really nice about this is that, you know, it just. It taps into every group.
B
Yes.
A
And.
B
But. But I don't know. And I worry because I worry that she has left out some people and, you know, like, how do you cover all your. Your. Your bases here?
A
I don't know.
B
I'm upset. I don't know. I'm sure the comments are like, you forgot. Oh, you forgot somebody Hawaiian.
A
Can you imagine how exhausting she is in real life, this woman? That's what I thought about as she was singing. I was like, man, if you. If you made me spend time with this person, how quickly I would unravel.
B
Hold on, let me go there with you, because I agree. Wait, what's worser? This broad. Yeah, because let's round out her personality. It's. You think she's just super lefty and super duper. Like, I'm vegan. I don't eat gluten.
A
It's everything, dude.
B
I'm. I'm support. And she's got the flags on her lawn. Oh, that part really gets me. Playing the chest as an instrument. Hold on, Isn't that appropriation? That's like a Native American.
A
Well, she needed some rhythm.
B
Yeah, you can't say anything remotely offensive.
A
She turned the comments off on this video.
B
Oh, boy.
A
I cannot imagine.
B
But hold on. Is it her or, like, born again Christian who's always talking about Jesus?
A
I would rather be with a born again Christian. Wow.
B
Wow.
A
Maybe because I have a specific person to compare them to, and this is a broad description. Yeah, but you'd have to show me the specific born again Christian.
B
What if it's the Denver Airport guy and everything?
A
I would love to be with that guy. Are you kidding me?
B
Okay. Really? Yeah, but he's talking about conspiracies, and the Denver Airport looks like a phallic symbol and we have him here in Obama and the three things on the flag.
A
Is he. Is he on my thing?
B
Yeah, he is the videos tab.
A
Okay, hold on.
B
I wish we could get the two of them together.
A
Oh, my God, he is the greatest. Oh, yeah.
B
Vote for Donald. Remember, he was. Oh, yeah.
A
He's got to be so happy right now. This or the other one, right?
B
Yeah, but they're both musicians. Vote for the Donald Trump is the man.
A
Let's put our nation into his hands. Okay? Just. Mike Pence and Donald make a great team. Just songwriting alone. This is a way better song.
B
I disagree, Tom. I. I disagree. I like. Can I tell you why? Here's why. This is a lot of accoutrement, okay. It's kind of like a stand up comic that needs props. Like, he needs the background with Donald. He needs this little keyboard. That woman was out in the snow with nothing but snow in her chest.
A
Yeah. But the song, the lyrics. Lyrics spitting bars compared to that. I mean, this is a cipher. He wins.
B
I think sophistication, the woman, the indigenous people rap also. I think she's more sophisticated. Sorry, that's.
A
That's insane. Also, do you not like insight? I mean, this is just a brief commentary on a new flag created for the Obama campaign.
B
Yeah.
A
Now up here on the left, we have the official logo of the Obama campaign. And big O, which of course stands for him. And below that there are several stripes. Yes. Which indicate the homosexual movement.
B
Yes.
A
First of all, I like learning.
B
Yeah.
A
And below Obama's logo, we have two stripes and three stripes, which look much more like streaks of blood. Some people don't like this kind of perversion of the American flag because it is very satanic. Mm. Yeah. Welcome to Revelation Unraveled. I'm your host, William Tapley, also known as the third eagle of the Apocalypse and the prophet of the end times. On this program, I want to talk about contraception.
B
Oh.
A
And how using that will prevent you from being raptured.
B
Oh, shit.
A
Last week, the Pope made news headlines by saying that you cannot prevent AIDS through the use of condoms. And of course, he was correct.
B
I mean, you want to have dinner with this fuck?
A
Yes.
B
Will you please pass the maple syrup? I mean, you can't with.
A
I would be enamored.
B
Nonsense.
A
I would never stop asking questions. A husband and a wife. Let me ask you this. How the. Have we never contacted this man?
B
Have we been trying.
A
You've been trying for years. Yeah.
B
He will not respond.
A
He won't respond.
B
No.
A
God damn it.
B
You know who we should check in.
A
On Revolution Digital market Income fed smoker. Let's see. I pray our dear leader picks the honorable RPC Dream Replace rpg.
B
RPC rbj.
A
I'm not sure how RPC would be. I read the names over yesterday. Ones that were appointed. Right. Forgot now.
B
What?
A
Their initials all. Yeah, sure. I mean, if. If we can't get William Tapley, the third eagle of the Apocalypse on the show. What the are we even doing? Incredible.
B
You know, we should check in on too. Is a pig with tits.
A
Oh, Norm Summertime.
B
Yeah, Norm. I wonder what he's into these days. Will you look into him, Josh? I'm so curious. Yeah, for sure. Oh, I would hang out with Norm Summerton over the third eagle of the Apocalypse. Yeah. He's a good time. He's such a good time.
A
Those are crazy tips he's got. I know I do.
B
Yeah. Is that just from those suction cups?
A
I mean, a lot. You do them all the time.
B
That's so crazy. I didn't realize you could just do that. Dude, he just straight up made those tits.
A
Yeah.
B
Or is he taking hormones too?
A
I don't think so.
B
It's just the.
A
He had some. Probably some, you know, natural skin and meat there. And then he just puts those hiccups in and he works them six, seven hours at a time. Yeah, but that actually is a really great example of how, like, commitment and discipline is how you get results. You can't just wish.
B
You need a strong base. Like, I feel like Bert. Bert Kirschner would be an ideal candidate for tit cups. Don't you feel like he's got a good base? Coat of tit meat, probably.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
And then it would just take six or eight hours. Like you said, he's got D cups.
A
Now that you said that, I have to show you this.
B
Sure. I did a couple of dates with Burt Kersher.
A
You ever know Burt? Yeah.
B
And let me tell you, it was a dude played the drums, the guitar and the keyboard. And the thing was. He was good. Yeah, okay.
A
He was good. They laughing at me. Burt Kershaw. Well, you know, you know, you know, you know what I'm talking about. You know what I'm talking about right now when I say that.
B
Yeah.
A
My.
B
Nice. Wow. You really like that one.
A
It's the best thing I've ever heard in my life. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
Okay. All right. Vote for the Donald.
A
He is the man. See, we're singing that one.
B
I know. Hold on. Indigenous people Gypsy suck. But everybody else is welcome.
A
No, no.
B
I know.
A
It is funny. How the Romani are actually loathed by all of society.
B
Most.
A
Yeah, most.
B
Well, because they, they are thieving con artists. Well, they teach their kids to steal.
A
Yeah.
B
And. And rob and be scumbags.
A
It's a horrible culture. Horrible culture.
B
Yeah, it's a horrible culture. It truly is.
A
Yeah.
B
I've seen the show about them, the, the gypsies. Was that. Remember my big gypsy wedding?
A
Yeah. Those, those are like, it's terrible. Travelers in, in the States though, that's like West Virginia Romany shale. Yeah. See the real Romani people of like Europe, they're the worst, man. They're just pariahs.
B
They are. But the Romani shells here are. Okay. Let me just tell you why I got a little problem with them is they, they, they do teenage brides.
A
Remember those girls get married at like 14. Like guys I clean, it's real important to clean. He's.
B
Yeah.
A
Comes home to a clean trailer.
B
Yeah. Yeah. That's the highest aspiration a woman can have, is to clean the trailer and get married at 14.
A
Yeah. And then we're gonna have the biggest wedding you've ever seen.
B
Yeah. And her dress is going to be bling blinked. Remember that? That was like the big thing is that it's shiny dress. That's so sad. Like, that's the highlight of your life.
A
Look what he's wearing with the hat sideways at his wedding.
B
I know somebody one time put our faces on that one.
A
That's pretty funny.
B
Yes, a good one. Yeah, I'm. I'm Romany Shale and they're always fighting and drinking.
A
Look at his vest. Sleeveless vest.
B
Trash. Trash. Yeah, yeah. Come on.
A
I'm 20, I got six kids. That's cool. It's good.
B
I'm a princess. I'm a blinged out. Yeah. Cuz you're like 12 years old and you still have this fantasy of being a. But I don't know if the, the. Your eastern blocker gypsies, the, the. They don't do this kind of shit.
A
No, that's what I'm saying. This is like an American version.
B
No, the.
A
When I went to Budapest the first time I did this small theater and I was like, it's great to be here. And I, you know, and they were so receptive. The audience was so great. And I was like, I've been learning some, some Hungarian and I just go like rochat. And they were like, wow. They cheered like. Which is rotten gypsy.
B
Yeah. Rotten gypsies.
A
And then I also said it to my driver and he goes, whoa, whoa. He goes Be careful. Say that outside they kill you.
B
Yeah, well, and also we were in Italy and I think to our driver, I was like, oh, what do you call gypsies? And he was like, whoa, whoa. You're not allowed to say gypsy anymore. And I can't even say gypsy. What are they?
A
No, no, no.
B
They're like Romany, Right, The Romani people. Blah, blah.
A
Like, that's a very. And but then he was like, you know, the Jews have kind of taken over this neighborhood. Well, better if you go over across the bridge. Yeah. To that place over there. There's not so many of them here. We're like, oh, interesting.
B
Well, you know, everybody. What? We covered it on this show that Hungary was the first to really ban the study of multi genderism and transgenderism and all this stuff. Looks like our country followed suit. There's only two genders officially now.
A
Well, he's a big fan of Victor Orban. Trump is. He's. He's been like, that guy gets it.
B
Yeah.
A
It was like. Cuz. Orban also was like, you're not welcome here. That was one of his messages. He's like, if you're looking for a place to go, do not come to Hungary. He's like, we do not want you. We have fences and we will shoot you if you jump over them.
B
Well, looks like we're going that way.
A
And also we speak Hungarian. And if you want to be here, learn it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
Well, we're doing it too. Yeah, that's cool. There he is. There's the homie.
A
Yeah.
B
Get out of my country, you pig. Gypsy pig.
A
Yeah.
B
This is great.
A
That's the kind of guy I'd like to have a beer with, by the way.
B
Oh, are you kidding me?
A
I would love to just hear him be like, yeah, there's no one around. What's up? Yeah, These gypsies.
B
He would say.
A
Yeah. He would say Nicki Minaj for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the thing when you do that is, like, when someone's like that, you go, yeah, yeah, man. What else?
B
Yeah, very cool, Tom. Very cool. Vote for the Donald now. It's in my head. You're right, you're right. The Vote for the Donald song is real banger.
A
It is a banger, dude. It's a really good one. Yeah, it's a really good one.
B
Can I tell you what I. Well, you do know what I've been doing and.
A
Okay, yeah, tell me.
B
All right, are you ready? Yeah. Well, tell the audience. So, you know, when you go through a traumatic event, like I did with cancer. I don't know. My shrink told me, like, you go back and you look at your. Your traumas, like your past stuff, and you re. You reprocess things, right?
A
Yeah.
B
So I. It is puke season, right? This is norovirus time. We're in it. And I was starting to get real phobic again of puking of vomit, like, to the point, like around Christmas, I was getting real nervous, like the emetophobia was bad. Like I was fixating on it, like, are the kids gonna puke? Is this gonna. Is this gonna happen? So I've been in treatment for my phobia of vomiting, and it's been like a three week to a month long.
A
It's a real thing. I should say too, because I know there's people who are like, what the. And it's like, who has witnessed this? It is a real, like, it's a real phobia that is.
B
Yeah.
A
Deep seated and genuine.
B
Well, I'll explain. Usually what happens with people when you have a phobia, it's an irrational fear of something that at some time, your wires got crossed at some point in your life and you made a causal relationship between vomiting and like, the worst thing happening in your life. Right. So around the time when I was a little kid, lots of going on, I puke. And in my childlike brain, I conflate the two things. Vomiting and like the worst thing happening in real life.
A
It's like when somebody gargles pee and then they jizz.
B
Exactly, exactly.
A
Yeah.
B
So, like, okay, so I've been working with this new therapist, and I think I've turned a corner because I was watching a movie the other night and I watched somebody puke knows the witch show, the Mayfair Witches, and the dude puked. And I was like, tom, I just watched that person puke.
A
You did?
B
And I didn't feel a thing. And so I'm ready to be put to the test. I'm ready. And as you guys know, for many years, I've been very afraid of watching puke.
A
Every time there's been puke on this show, you throw your headphones off and you go, I don't want to see it. I don't want to hear it. And you scream at me.
B
So hold on, let me just get, like, let me get my mantra, because I'm programmed to think certain things. Okay.
A
Okay.
B
I'm supposed to be indifferent to puke. You said you say I'm indifferent. I don't hate it. I don't love it. It's The.
A
It's like kind of a neutral.
B
That's the word. It's. I'm indifferent.
A
That's unpleasant.
B
That's unpleasant. And that's what I say to myself. That's unpleasant.
A
Are you ready to be put.
B
It's like any other body function. Okay, hold on. Yeah, I'm ready. I'm okay. Here we go.
A
Let's go.
B
Let's. What's that movie? The guy's eyes are open with the toothpicks. Clockwork Orange. Yeah.
A
Okay, here we go.
B
I'm ready. Okay. Is she pregnant? I did it. I'm indifferent. I'm indifferent.
A
No, the kids in the back.
B
That sucks that they're kids. All right. That's so much. Okay, now I'm. I'm getting a little uncomfortable.
A
Okay. Okay. All right.
B
I just. The repeatedness of it. That was funny.
A
Kind of funny, right?
B
I think the repeatedness of the first one spooked me. That was, like, silly.
A
Try.
B
Oh, my God.
A
That was easy.
B
What. What did he throw in?
A
Egg. He threw an egg.
B
That's not cool. Okay, so that doesn' oh, my God. I'm actually laughing for the first time in my life, guys. This is huge. That's an unpleasant thing.
A
Yeah.
B
That's like a body function. Like anything else. It's unpleasant.
A
His laughing was very contagious, though. That was fun, right? The way you laughed?
B
I liked her sound, actually. I was laughing at her going, okay.
A
He was laughing so hard. Hey, can you keep going?
B
Can you keep going?
A
You're doing great.
B
I'm not even sweaty. Feel the palm.
A
Feel it.
B
I'm. Usually I'm cold because it's freezing in here, but I'm not.
A
Can you keep the.
B
Hold on. Can I just talk about why I didn't like the first one?
A
Yeah.
B
Because it was like. It happened. It happened. And I think, like, her kid being there, and then I could see her, and then I. I sympathized with it because I was like, oh, God, now I feel like puking watching her puke.
A
Yeah.
B
So I don't know. It was so much a fear.
A
Yeah.
B
As oh, God, now I feel like puking. Is that. But that's what normal people get, right?
A
Yeah. If you see, like, if someone pukes around you in real life, a lot of people, I get triggered by that. Someone vomited. I feel like.
B
Like you. Because I started to feel my stomach lurch because I was sympathizing.
A
Yeah. Yeah. That could happen for sure.
B
But, Tom, I'm really.
A
I'm impressed. This is a.
B
This is just so you guys know, like, weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks of therapy and therapy and therapy, and every night I have to, like, listen to this.
A
Yeah.
B
I listen to the programming and I've.
A
Been like, okay, you ready for another one?
B
Yes.
A
Okay. Here we go.
B
Okay.
A
Oh, sorry, sorry. Okay, hold on a. My bad. That was the wrong one.
B
I've heard that when you open the.
A
Can, it can squirt.
B
I do quite like a bit of squirting. Yeah, squirting. Oh, no. I don't like watching him feel it. I don't like this. Shake a little bit out. That's like octopus jizz, the build up. I don't like this. I don't like this.
A
No, no. Okay.
B
I don't. Because I. I'm so. I'm sympathizing because I start to feel it.
A
I understand.
B
But I'm not afraid of it. I just start to feel sick myself.
A
Yourself? Yeah.
B
But it's a distinction, because in the past, it was just terror.
A
Yes.
B
Yeah.
A
Play it or move to the next one.
B
No, I can go on to the next.
A
Oh, okay.
B
I don't want to. Well, hold on. Let's just do it. I'm gonna Clockwork Orange. It. It's all right.
A
Remember?
B
Yeah. Oh, I'm in.
A
This is unpleasant.
B
This isn't just an unpleasant body function. I'm in different. I feel neutral. What is it that he's eating?
A
It's like canned fish.
B
Yeah. Oh, I don't like that. Oh, I don't like that. Okay. I don't know. I don't know. I don't like the lead up.
A
Let's go the next one.
B
Yeah. Oh, Jesus. He's already puked.
A
Yeah. He's at a game, just sitting in the stands.
B
Oh, my God. I'm laughing. I've never laughed.
A
Can you imagine him leaving this thing?
B
It's so much too, like how he.
A
Walks out of there. Look at the cameras behind him. People are like.
B
And he's trying to be discreet. He's like, hold on, I'm coughing. What would you do, though, if you had to puke this much in public?
A
You just do that, I guess. Yeah. Although I wouldn't want it all over myself. I would turn to the aisle.
B
He just drunk. Is he too drunk?
A
He's absolutely hammered. Yeah. He's probably had 40 beers.
B
Yeah, it looks like beer.
A
He started at 9am and this is like an 8pm game.
B
Yeah, because I'm not seeing a lot of food. I'm just seeing, like.
A
It looks like eats, too, believe me. But.
B
We don't want. I don't want kids stuff.
A
Quickest, easiest way.
B
You don't let them know about it. You just go, oh, all good. That one's for Tommy. That was for you, bro. Oh, don't do that. Don't do that.
A
Oh, that was horrible. You guys can eat.
B
That was disgusting, though, that he sucked it out of the kids. That's just gross.
A
Anyway, I have one more bonus one for you.
B
Oh, God.
A
So here's what happened.
B
Yeah.
A
So yesterday, I'm indifferent.
B
It's just a body function.
A
I'm gonna. I'm gonna set this up.
B
Hold on. It's fine. Let me just do my program. Okay? It's just a body function. It's fine. It's like anything else. Okay, let's go.
A
Yesterday I was in the gym, and we did this, like, kind of cardio circuit, high intensity thing. Yesterday, yesterday, yesterday. And it. It kicked my ass. And then, Yeah, I think my conditioning is trash, so I'm trying to get better at it. So then today I didn't sleep very well, you know, so I was pretty tired. I got up early. I went back to the gym. I didn't. I had just a little. Had a little peanut butter, a little fruit, and we lifted. And I thought we were just doing that because typically if you go, like, high intensity cardio one day.
B
Yeah.
A
You know, the next day you'll do maybe like, steady state, like, lower intensity before, you know, so. But we did it. We did a different one again. And the thing was, you run 500 meters and then you get on the ergo skier. 20 calories. You just. You do it at, like, a high clip, right? And then you. One minute recovery, you do it again. So I did the first round, and I. I pushed it. I probably should have, like, done it at a. At a steadier pace, but I did it hard. So on the second round, I do it again a little slower because I'm starting to get fatigued. And I'm like. And then I do the. I do the minute recovery. Then I'm about to get on for round three, and I was like, man, like, I just, like, my heart rate is spiking. I feel weird. And then I sent this to Zolo.
B
Okay, here we go. Okay, that actually makes me laugh. Look, he's making funny. Oh, my God. Yeah, enough already. How much you gonna go, Tom? Are you listening to Nicki Minaj?
A
Yeah.
B
Yeah. And you're too hot. You're over here. He did more. You're gonna go back for seconds. Jesus. Yeah, your. Your head Is red beat red?
A
It was just water that came out.
B
Yeah, I know. I got it.
A
Fluid.
B
I'm watching.
A
I know.
B
My eyes are open. I'm not freaking out. Hey, I'm not freaking out. I don't like it. It's unpleasant. He's such a bird.
A
Yeah.
B
Hey, you know what? I did it, dude.
A
Pretty cool, right?
B
Right? Yeah, No, I did it. Hello. Can you guys clap for me? I conquered my phobia. That was huge. 48 years of severe emetophobia. Yeah, I just watched clips.
A
Yeah, you watched me throw. I threw up into a trash can.
B
It was unpleasant. Yeah, but I. The world didn't end. I didn't feel like climbing out of my skin.
A
Keep your foot on the gas.
B
Okay.
A
With what you're doing?
B
Oh, I thought you said there's more to watch.
A
No, I meant, like, don't go. This is the end of the road.
B
Are you doing that? Are you kidding me? This is just the beginning. Like, I mean, I don't. Like, again, I don't feel terrified like I did in the past. It's unpleasant to watch. Like, Nana. Was it how Nana felt preparing the clips? Like, is she a metaphobic too, or just. I think it just kind of grossed her out. Right. Like, you just feel like, oh, if I watch this long enough, I will puke too. Yeah, that's so weird.
A
Let's just do something funny, though.
B
Oh, no, no.
A
To balance out of this.
B
You swear?
A
Yeah.
B
You're gonna play more puke? Oh, a forklift. Good. Definitely not America.
A
Nope.
B
Homie, you got up, bro.
A
Whoa.
B
Can I tell you what went. What went wrong here? Yeah, I think the object is too.
A
The.
B
The object is too tall to be on a forklift palette.
A
There is no palette, by the way, this speed with which that hit him.
B
Can we see it again?
A
So that is for people listening or even if you're watching this, what appears to happen is that this structure is. Is like. It's like a metal structure that is. It's in the ground, probably cemented into the ground. Oh, you know what I mean?
B
Is it?
A
Yeah.
B
Okay. And they're trying to, like, use.
A
And they're trying to rip. Yeah, well, look where we are.
B
They're just like, you know, not a good idea, boys.
A
Just drive the forklift into it.
B
This looks like Kyrgyzstan.
A
Pull it out.
B
This is definitely a stand. Yeah, yeah. And everybody's standing around.
A
Yeah, well, he's standing in a real bad spot, obviously. Yeah. It was welded to the ground. And then it's a really cool aftermath explanation in here. I'M not even gonna read it.
B
No, it's okay. I don't need to hear it.
A
Okay, here we go. Let's go to the next one.
B
Yeah. Oh, I hate these, dude. I hate the. I. I hate.
A
Well, if you're squeamish, look away now. And it's not even.
B
The kick is.
A
He's lost his. I've seen that in person, by the way.
B
Of course. That's what. That's what happens at.
A
I went to one and I saw it happen in person.
B
It's like MMA or this Muay Thai.
A
This is kickboxing. Yeah, I think. Yeah, kickbox. But I saw. I saw it at a UC fight.
B
Hold on. Can I brush my hair? I just feel like brushing. It's, like, too crunchy.
A
Sure.
B
It's bothering me.
A
Okay. Hair looks better, right?
B
Yeah, it's like softer looking.
A
And it's a good haircut.
B
Just a good color too. Alan Martinez, Shout Out. Always.
A
Always.
B
Same guy I've been going to for 30 years. He's my homie.
A
Yeah.
B
What?
A
Nothing. I just was thinking about how horrific these last two were. Hopefully this next one has a little humor to it. Here we go.
B
Oh, no, I like these.
A
He's not good. There's no way he's okay.
B
Was that an E bike? It sounded like.
A
Crew claims he is still in one piece and went back to try the jumps again to complete them. What the.
B
What the. Idiot.
A
That looked so rough. That looked really rough, man. Yeah, these are. All three have been horrible, by the way, so far.
B
Yeah. Oh, falling out of the tree.
A
Oh, how far is that?
B
Oh.
A
Oh. At least there's water down there.
B
Yeah, but everything broke before he hit it.
A
Yeah. Yeah. The.
B
Okay. Is it just that this guy is like a tree, A tree climbing a tree, you know?
A
I don't know. Let's see what his injuries were. Here we go. See? 60ft, he fell. He was trying to jump from the tree, but slipped after he broke his arm.
B
Okay, that's it.
A
That's it. Not too bad. Probably the rocks did that, but yeah, that was a nice one to wrap that up on. Jesus Christ, guys.
B
That gave me the chills. Yeah, that sucks. But he thought he was gonna jump from a tree 60ft until, like, river water. That's just inherently not a good idea.
A
He didn't think it was coming down. He was just like, I'm gonna jump from the one tree to the next.
B
Oh, he wanted to jump to another tree. Did he want to jump into the water?
A
I think he was trying to jump to a Tree.
B
Well, he like squirrels. He's not a. You can't just do that. People don't do that.
A
Okay, let me show you one that is funny because I have one that I sent in.
B
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
A
Upper back pain removal. That's what this says.
B
Yeah.
A
Removal with a bomb going off. Yeah. There's no way this is a proven thing in medicine.
B
No.
A
If you have back pain, take a hammer and just club the out of somebody in that spot.
B
She probably has like a hunch, like a hump. A hump, right. Isn't that usually a fat pad or like.
A
I don't know.
B
I don't know.
A
Yeah. Pretty cool, right?
B
Yeah, dog. That's ill, bro.
A
By the way, when you were in the hospital, would you have liked to have seen this as you were recovering?
B
This nurse is flossing on her patient and then just wiped her mouth on the patient's hand. Flossing over this patient. Ah.
A
It's insane.
B
Well, what's crazy is who's filming her. Is it?
A
Yeah. How does she not notice that?
B
Right, and you're doing this in front of the visitor and the patient.
A
The patient's friend recorded her flossing. Yeah.
B
You're animal, dude.
A
This is in Ottomwa, Iowa, at the Ottoman Regional Health Center. He was. He was being treated for congenital heart disease.
B
Oh, my God, this poor man.
A
And yeah, she was fired. Yeah.
B
Yeah. No kidding. Because I even feel uncomfortable flossing near you in public.
A
Flossing's gross. That's a private thing, I think.
B
You know, but even when you and I do it near each other, I'm kind of like, I don't really want you to see me doing this.
A
It's gross.
B
So private.
A
Yeah.
B
But I have flossed. I have flossed with the strings from my socks. Remember when an emergency situation on planes when I was traveling.
A
This is the most brazen thing.
B
No, this is this. And there's a camera, dummy. You don't.
A
And the visitor, like, she turns at the end. Like, I guess I'll turn away.
B
Can I tell you what my mother used to do all the time when we were. After we were done eating in a restaurant? She would take a toothpick or the card or whatever and then. Yeah. Cover her mouth and then do this. Like, just. We still know what you're doing.
A
Yeah, Just go somewhere else.
B
Yeah. It was so disgusting.
A
Why couldn't she go somewhere else?
B
I don't know. I don't know. Maybe it's a foreigner thing. Is this lady a foreigner?
A
No, No.
B
I don't know, dude.
A
No.
B
Okay, so up. Well, I can't believe I did not freak out with all the pukings.
A
It was pretty great.
B
I'm still pretty stoked. I'm proud of myself.
A
We got a. The president of YMH Studios. Yes. We should point that out. New Christine. Yeah. Also known as Emma Hicks. She won her first AVN for best POV anal scene.
B
All right. Congratulations, Emma.
A
It's Emma Hicks. POV anal. Jules Jordan. Oh, that's pretty great.
B
That is great.
A
POV anal. That's awesome.
B
What does that mean exactly?
A
I guess you're. You get. You're the guy. The camera is the guy. So you get to like, you're.
B
You're there. You're the one.
A
You're the one.
B
Oh, here we go.
A
It's his pov.
B
Oh, that's nice.
A
So you get to be like, oh, I'm doing this, you know.
B
She looks great. That's a big one for the butt.
A
That's awesome.
B
She looks fantastic.
A
She looks great.
B
And I have to say I congratulate her on makeup and her hair looking fantastic. Even though she's taking it in the A. And I see why this scene is an award winner. Wow. That was a wide hole.
A
It's called gaping.
B
Yeah. Yes. Yes.
A
Yeah.
B
That was an award winning scene. I felt it. I felt her passion. I thought she looked incredible.
A
Make sure you send that link out to everybody in the company. Congratulations, Emma.
B
Yeah. President. Yeah, President.
A
And your. For your award. That's incredible.
B
That's amazing. It's hard to win those.
A
Here you go. Some of your talks of the week.
B
Oh, my God.
A
In the old days, we used to always leave space between the plates so the plates would jingle. So the plates would make noise.
B
When you came up from the squat.
A
And you drove and completed the rep and go the deep throated, deep throated roar. That was like music. Music. Every rep you wanted to hear that sound again and you wanted to complete.
B
That rep with as much force as you possibly could.
A
That would break.
B
Yeah. That feeling like you had to do it. Yeah, dude. And see, this is why the guys in my bro gym make the noises. Now I understand.
A
Look at this. And completely rep. Go with a deep throat. And deep throat so the plates would jingle. This depth that this guy gets to with these and how close his legs are together, it's really. Look at that. It's crazy.
B
It's amazing.
A
Yeah, that's nuts.
B
That is nuts. That's why. But that. But I like his theory. Then you should get credit for doing something like that. That's a. That's a powerful lift.
A
Yeah.
B
You should be like. Yeah, ding a ling. Like an alarm should go off.
A
Sirens for you doing the lift.
B
I get it.
A
Yeah.
B
But I'm saying, like, if some boys in my gym, they make a lot of noise and they're not doing stuff like that.
A
Oh, you want it to be more impressive.
B
Yeah, he's right. Like, if it's this caliber, like, you better. I want the credit, bro. Yeah, but come on now. I don't know what's happening.
A
It's some woman's dream, too, you know, somebody. Somebody's like, I love when he does this. Yeah. That was pretty hot.
B
Yeah.
A
Did you like that?
B
I like that more than the opening clip.
A
Really?
B
Yeah. I'd rather watch that than.
A
Because there's just more dynamics to his performance.
B
I like it. Yeah. It's interesting. I don't know where it's gonna go. I don't know why he's doing it. There's some more questions.
A
Yep.
B
Yeah.
A
You're just laughing at bullying.
B
That's the best part. It's basically like just bullying's back.
A
Yeah.
B
No, but here's also why I like it. I feel like, and correct me if I'm wrong, Angelinos, that. That laugh is a specifically Mexican LA dude laugh. Right.
A
That's a car full of cholo.
B
That's what's up. Yeah. That's why I was like, dude, I heard this directed at me quite a few times growing up in the 818. Yeah, those are cholos, dude. That's why it's so priceless. I know. Those are cholos. Lighten that guy up.
A
The purest form of bullying is just laughing at somebody. You know, you don't say anything. You don't say anything.
B
Can we see one more time?
A
And that person knows. They're like.
B
Yeah. They didn't have to say. Did they technically bully. They just laughed.
A
Yeah, they bullied.
B
That's cholo laughing.
A
But that's not la.
B
No, these are Latin guys laughing.
A
But isn't that like Europe or something? Look at the signage and everything.
B
I don't. Maybe, but I'm telling you, dude, that Right, Angelenos. That's a car full of.
A
Look at that. Look at that.
B
Homies. It sounds like. I know.
A
That's. That's European. That's European.
B
Maybe they're on a European vacation essay. You don't know.
A
The cholos are on the.
B
Hey, maybe. Maybe they like to travel. You don't think they go to Amsterdam that might be Amsterdam.
A
He's just got his furry ears on.
B
Yeah, he's walking down the street with the.
A
By the way, guys. Minding his own business. Just. It's the best way, bro. Definitely got the tail in right now too.
B
Yeah, you know, of course he does.
A
That shit's crazy.
B
Yeah, I. I hate the self esteem people have these days.
A
Just going about his life. It's good.
B
It's pretty good. I don't know. Go with it, guys.
A
What the.
B
Yeah, this guy. So.
A
Yes, indeed, indeed, baby.
B
It's an alligator wrapped in bacon.
A
I don't believe that grill is big enough for this, Sir.
B
Thanks to Mr. Audie and Ms. Renee.
A
We out here cooking alligator in a Kentucky hood, baby. We get ready for the lsu.
B
It's not big enough. You're right. It's gonna take him hours to smoke that. Oh yeah, hours. How long to smoke a full size alligator wrapped in.
A
No, that's a. Like, this is like a 24 hour process for sure.
B
Yeah, and not only that. Look, I've tried alligator right. In Florida. It's good. It's good meat. But I think if you wrap anything in bacon, it's going to taste good.
A
Yeah, it's going to be delicious. Also though, but wasn't that gator not skinned? I think that's the.
B
You're supposed to skin them.
A
Yeah, I would skin that before I smoked it.
B
Cuz you don't eat gator skin, right? No, I don't think it cooks up.
A
You want to eat leather? No.
B
Oh, that's not true. Yeah, it's like eating. Yeah, it's like eating like kiwi skin or something.
A
I don't know. But something tells me this guy knows what he's doing.
B
So maybe I should shut the up. My dog in the bed and I laid in it. Let me know your opinion. My dog in the bed and I laid in it and it smeared everywhere and my mom won't let me have dairy products and won't let me have ice cream. Yeah, it's all related. Everywhere and I. Oliver's toilet. Yeah. Let me know your opinion on what. Thank you. Rock on. She wants to know your thank you.
A
And rock on is the sign off.
B
Well, let's have an opinion. The dog shut in the bed and she slept in it and then her mom won't let her have ice cream because then she shits in the bed.
A
She shits everywhere. She all over the seat. Yeah. My opinion is your mom might have a good point here. Also. Another opinion is change your sheets and. Yeah, don't let the dog back in the bed, maybe.
B
Yeah.
A
Those are my opinions on this.
B
Yeah. I'd wake up if I smelled the dog's poo in the bed.
A
And also, rock on.
B
Rock on.
A
Yeah.
B
Rock on.
A
That's insane.
B
This is so funny.
A
Come on. How can you not love the Irish?
B
Yeah. Well.
A
So there's 5,000 people that are Irish outside a Victoria's Secret in Denmark. And as women leave with their bag, they're cheering for her.
B
But do you know why?
A
No.
B
Because Denmark, I believe, if I'm not mistaken, is one of those equal, equal societies. Right. Like, remember when we were in Amsterdam and everything? So 50. 50. I don't think women really buy lingerie anymore. They even dress alike. They're more asexual, the men and the women, you know? So maybe I'm thinking this has something to do with that.
A
I don't think that has anything to do with that.
B
You don't think so? No. And Google in Denmark.
A
But that's not why these.
B
The women are asexual in Denmark.
A
These guys are not there because of that.
B
They're there, but I'm saying because they're in Denmark, and they're like. All the chicks here look like dudes. Why is that? And they're probably celebrating the ones that are being like chicks.
A
No, women in Denmark are not inherently.
B
These are just drunk soccer hooligans.
A
Yeah, of course. They're just like. Chicks are buying bras and they're just singing. Yeah.
B
I would love it if there's a group of Irish football fans cheering for me.
A
Oh, yeah. When you bought panties. Yeah, dude.
B
That'd be so much fun. I just love it so much. Your Nicki Minaj is my guy making these noises. I really like this.
A
This guy's not. He's definitely not alive, but that's. Yeah, he's probably done that for 60. You know how many people hate him? Leonard doing his goddamn noises again.
B
The pride flag that we're hanging at our house this year has a couple new additions.
A
Let's talk about them.
B
Of course, we've got the original six colors of the rainbow. The black and brown stripes to represent people of color. The blue, pink, and white to represent trans folks. And a new addition to this flag, the yellow triangle with the purple circle to represent folks that are intersex. And the other new addition to our flag is the two feathers in the circle which represent indigenous folks that identify as Two Spirit. One feather represents feminine identity, one feather represents male identity. And the circle that holds them together represents the unification of Both identities. My partner and I are always trying to be inclusive as possible. That's why we chose to fly this flag this year. The Moreno Shooting Star.
A
Fantastic.
B
My partner and I love watching this. Can I tell you, you don't think they should put maybe handicap people or differently able people on the flag? Why isn't that. Isn't that not. Is there a flag for that? People that are differently abled.
A
There's a placard.
B
Oh, there you go. But he didn't even do the disability. You think that he would start with the. It's so hard to choose between the disability.
A
Looks like there's some of those colors. I mean, he's got a lot of colors in there already, you know.
B
Well, wait, the disability flag is. Yeah, it's similar to the gay stuff.
A
Yeah. But there, see, some of the colors are already represented there. But yeah, it could be more inclusive.
B
I know. I feel like he. There's leaving. They're leaving people out.
A
It's definitely important. I'm glad he did this and I. I'm glad I learned something. That was good also.
B
Yeah.
A
He just. He's got. He's. He's got a lot going on.
B
Yeah.
A
All right. My friend Jackson died from vaping and I miss him. I don't give a. I don't give a rat's ass. That's cool.
B
And I miss him.
A
I thought he was starting that with, like, talking about his friend. My friend Jackson died from vaping and I miss him. I don't give a. Cool. Cool. It's really nice, man.
B
Three. One win against us. Not only teams who win the first three games. He's right. Come mate bell to that. You know what? That was Scousers, that performance.
A
Absolutely. How are you feeling? That is insane.
B
That was English.
A
That's insane.
B
Can we. Can we hear it again?
A
I'm gonna try. That guy should order Starbucks and say Happy birthday.
B
Hey, maybe we could ask you.
A
I thought we were watching Polish for the first few seconds.
B
That's not only team to win the first three games.
A
It's like I pull out words. I'm like, oh, yeah. Like, yeah, beat Arsenal. Only three. Like, I'm like, that's insane. And that's going to be a doctor one day. Isn't that wild?
B
Yeah.
A
Amen.
B
Happy birthday, Governor.
A
Happy birthday.
B
How are you feeling? How are you feeling? What?
A
It's insane.
B
Happy birthday.
A
Happy birthday, Governor.
B
That's the guy.
A
That's the guy.
B
Yeah. Anytime men don't have pants on. Women had knee pads always on their legs. So they can be ready anytime. Well, he's a cool guy. You like cool guys.
A
I know. It's a good point. Look at his little smirk.
B
Yeah, he thinks he's really inventing some new.
A
Well, he just knows he said something naughty. Yeah, he's like, you know why women should have knee pads on when a guy doesn't have pants on? Yeah. I'm gonna eat your ass.
B
It's not that far.
A
Pretty cool.
B
Yeah, he's a cool guy.
A
This was fantastic. I had so much fun today.
B
So did I.
A
And congratulations. You really are defeating your puke phobia.
B
Thanks, buddy. Yeah, I'm still working on it. It's going to get better and better.
A
Don't forget, Valentine's right around the corner.
B
Oh, yeah. Buy my lipsticks.
A
Order your lipsticks. Order strawberries and ranch.
B
Diamonds and panties.
A
Panties and. Yeah, let's see here. I will.
B
Diamonds in the crevice of your pussy.
A
All right, we're gonna go out on this song. We'll see you next week.
B
Hello, governor.
A
Bye.
B
The are you doing, man? Come over on the side of the dumpster and take a. I got diarrhea, Diarrhea I got diarrhea Diarrhea I got.
A
Diarrhea Diarrhea I got diarrhea, Diarrhea Burning.
B
This stuff in the dumpster.
A
Burning this stuff in the dumpster and we'll pick it up Also burning the stuff in.
B
The dumpster I got diarrhea Diarrhea I got diarrhea, Diarrhea.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Episode: Christina Faces Her Deepest Fears (It's Puke)
Release Date: February 5, 2025
Timestamp: [00:00 - 06:18]
The episode kicks off with Christina and Tom briefly mentioning an upcoming event at the Firekeepers Casino before diving into their main discussions. They immediately engage the audience with their characteristic humor, setting the stage for an episode filled with laughter and candid conversations.
Timestamp: [00:57 - 10:19]
Tom introduces a viral clip titled "Homeless Man Gets by Gay Ghost," prompting a deep dive into its content and significance.
Understanding the Clip:
Tom describes the clip as featuring a homeless man who believes he's being assaulted by a ghost, highlighting the man's intense imagination and passion.
Quote [02:10 - 02:23, B]: "It's enviable. It shows you that the imagination is stronger than anything."
Emotional Depth:
Christina appreciates the man's genuine reaction, emphasizing how his imagination drives his emotions more than reality.
Quote [02:35 - 02:38, A]: "Sex is in the mind. That's what I've heard."
Psychological Insights:
They discuss how such vivid imagination reflects deeper psychological states, with Christina noting the man's possible underlying shame.
Quote [09:20 - 09:23, A]: "He feels... it infers shame."
Timestamp: [02:41 - 06:18]
Christina and Tom shift gears to talk about Valentine's Day, offering listeners various creative gift ideas.
Christina's Lipstick Bundle:
Christina promotes her lipstick collection, encouraging listeners to purchase them as the perfect Valentine’s gift.
Quote [02:51 - 03:03, B]: "You should definitely get your lady the perfect four. ... Right before Valentine's Day. Perfect timing."
Fancy Chef's Valentine's Packages:
Tom highlights Fancy Chef's unique Valentine's packages, including strawberries, ranch, panties, and diamonds, while humorously questioning the practicality of such luxurious offerings.
Quote [04:03 - 04:11, A]: "Book me and book me now. ... Look how beautiful ladies put on your face."
Encouraging Listener Engagement:
They invite listeners to share their unboxing experiences with these premium packages, blending promotion with audience interaction.
Timestamp: [71:55 - 73:36]
The hosts delve into a discussion about the Moreno Shooting Star flag, emphasizing inclusivity and representation.
Flag Components Explained:
Christina breaks down the flag's elements, explaining each symbol's significance in representing various communities.
Quote [71:59 - 73:22, B]: "We all have a place in this world... Two feathers in the circle which represent indigenous folks that identify as Two Spirit."
Inclusivity Debate:
Tom raises a point about the flag not including symbols for differently-abled individuals, sparking a conversation about comprehensive representation.
Quote [72:49 - 73:19, B & A]: "Why isn't that included? ... It could be more inclusive."
Importance of Representation:
They agree on the necessity of evolving symbols like the pride flag to encompass all marginalized groups, highlighting the ongoing journey toward true inclusivity.
Timestamp: [41:54 - 53:57]
A significant portion of the episode focuses on Tom's personal struggle with emetophobia and his therapeutic journey to overcome it.
Personal Admission:
Tom opens up about his severe fear of vomiting, sharing how it affected him intensely around Christmas and his daily life.
Quote [41:54 - 42:11, B]: "I've been in treatment for my phobia of vomiting, and it's been like a three-week to a month-long process."
Therapeutic Process:
He discusses the methods he's employed, such as reprocessing traumatic events related to vomiting and gradual exposure to trigger scenarios.
Quote [42:12 - 43:24, B & A]: "I conflate the two things. Vomiting and like the worst thing happening in real life."
Watching Puke in Media:
Tom attempts to desensitize himself by watching scenes of vomiting in movies, narrating his reactions and progress.
Quote [44:47 - 46:50, B & A]: "I'm ready to be put to the test... It was pretty great."
Humorous Yet Honest Reflections:
Throughout this segment, Christina and Tom maintain their comedic flair, balancing serious discussions with humor to keep the conversation engaging.
Quote [45:29 - 45:55, B & A]: "That was... I'm actually laughing for the first time in my life, guys. This is huge."
Progress and Encouragement:
By the episode's end, Tom expresses pride in his progress, acknowledging that while he's still working on his phobia, he feels significantly better.
Quote [53:07 - 53:17, B & A]: "I conquered my phobia. ... I'm still working on it. It's going to get better and better."
Timestamp: [56:00 - 70:00]
Interspersed with the main discussions are various humorous anecdotes, commentary on viral videos, and light-hearted banter between Christina and Tom.
Viral Video Reactions:
They react to and analyze bizarre and humorous viral clips, often infusing their unique comedic perspectives.
Quote [75:05 - 75:09, A & B]: "You really are defeating your puke phobia. ... Diarrhea Burns All over the dumpster."
Comedic Skits:
The hosts engage in playful skits, mimicking accents and exaggerated reactions to add variety and entertainment to the episode.
Celebrating Achievements:
They take a moment to congratulate Emma Hicks from YMH Studios on winning an AVN award, blending genuine praise with their signature humor.
Quote [61:10 - 62:56, A & B]: "Congratulations, Emma. ... She looks fantastic."
Timestamp: [75:20 - End]
As the episode wraps up, Christina and Tom reiterate their Valentine's Day promotions, reminding listeners to take advantage of the exclusive offers they've discussed.
Final Promotions:
They humorously recap the Valentine's Day gift ideas, encouraging listeners to purchase lipsticks, strawberries with ranch, diamonds, and panties.
Quote [76:13 - 76:35, B & A]: "Buy my lipsticks. ... Diamonds in the crevice of your pussy."
Sign-Off:
The episode concludes with their trademark humor and camaraderie, leaving listeners entertained and engaged.
Quote [77:03 - End, B & A]: "This stuff in the dumpster. ... Burning this stuff in the dumpster."
In this episode of Your Mom's House, Christina and Tom blend heartfelt personal stories with their trademark humor, offering listeners both relatable content and plenty of laughs. From dissecting viral clips and discussing inclusivity to Tom's courageous journey overcoming emetophobia, the episode is a testament to their ability to balance serious topics with lighthearted banter. Whether you're tuning in for the laughs or the genuine conversations, this episode delivers a comprehensive and engaging experience.