Hollywood Horror Stories w/ Jim Breuer | Your Mom's House Ep. 849

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Your Mom's House Ep. 849

Episode Title: Hollywood Horror Stories w/ Jim Breuer
Hosts: Christina Pazsitzky (Christina P.), Tom Segura (absent for this episode)
Guest: Jim Breuer
Release Date: March 4, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Christina P. welcomes legendary comedian and former SNL cast member Jim Breuer to “Your Mom’s House.” With Tom Segura away filming, the conversation dives into old-school parenting, personal histories of growing up in blue-collar, immigrant families, the chaos of raising kids, the surrealness of modern life and showbiz, and hilarious riffs on today’s internet and Hollywood culture. The discussion moves between heartfelt stories, sharp social commentary, and their signature offbeat humor, providing both deep insights and plenty of laughs.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Childhood, Family, and Upbringing

[01:26 - 06:58]

• Jim reflects on being overweight as a child due to classic Italian overfeeding stereotypes, recounting being 82 pounds in kindergarten and the shame and camaraderie of being one of the “fat kids.”
  • “It was me, Sally Ann Costello, and Noel Garzon, three of the fattest kids in kindergarten...” (Jim Breuer, 01:48)
• Both host and guest bond over being raised by older parents from tough immigrant backgrounds and the generational differences in parenting.
• Christina shares about encouraging her two young boys to be properly wild, outdoorsy, and resilient, rejecting overprotection:
  • “I don’t want crybaby pussies to grow up and be soft men.” (Christina P, 07:32)

Parenting Styles and Gender

[06:43 - 08:46]

• Jim and Christina discuss the ongoing war between old-school “let them get hurt” parenting and fearful, modern overprotection, agreeing that especially boys need to be challenged, get outside, and wrestle with the world.

Ethnic Roots, Names, and Identities

[08:00 - 09:06]

• Jim talks about his German heritage and the family name’s origins, mixing in comic impressions and the confusion over tracing family roots.

Hollywood & Modern “Woke” Culture

[13:50 - 17:16]

• The pair vent about how much American cultural norms have shifted—particularly on gender identity, inclusivity, and political correctness.
  • Jim lampoons how even pet identities have become overcomplicated, joking, “He’s a nonbinary dog. We don’t let him pick his gender, because it’s his right.” (Jim Breuer, 10:44)
  • “People try to convince me I’m the nut!” (Jim Breuer, 14:00)
• Christina and Jim touch on their discomfort with “letting kids pick their gender at three” and riff on the extremes of contemporary identity politics.

Hollywood’s Dark Side

[14:51 - 17:16, 17:47 - 19:56]

• Jim freely dives into Hollywood’s notorious history of scandal, grooming, and abuse, referencing Woody Allen’s relationships and other open secrets of the industry.
  • “That’s why I left the business a long time ago. I didn’t see nothing.” (Jim Breuer, 15:26)
• They discuss the Epstein saga, institutional coverups, and the surreal normalcy of talking about such scandals.
  • “I was looking at [Epstein]...I knew already from SNL and stuff like that. Things were weird.” (Jim Breuer, 17:47)
  • He recounts seeing a “young male hooker” looking for Kevin Spacey’s room at SNL. (18:18 - 18:53)

Loyalty, Marriage, and Broken Homes

[23:09 - 30:12]

• Both share their long-term marriages, surviving fame without blowing up their lives, and the trauma they've witnessed from family divorces.
  • “I’m very loyal. So before even SNL, she [my wife] would go on this journey with me everywhere.” (Jim Breuer, 23:32)
  • “I would never do this to my kids.” (Jim Breuer, 30:07)
• Christina jokes, “I tell Tom Segura all the time...You’re mine. I will not divorce.”

Raising Teens & Gender Dynamics at Home

[31:11 - 32:19]

• They talk about how teen girls often become “politicians” in the home, turning parents against each other, and predict similar dynamics as their kids grow.
  • “Their next plan is divide and conquer. They basically become politicians.” (Jim Breuer, 22:32)

Absurd Modern Relationships & Internet Culture

[32:25 - 41:23]

• The duo watch and roast viral videos about poly relationships, “daddies” controlling women, gender identity, and internet stunts—equal parts shocked and amused.
  • “This is a copy of the contract that they all have with me.” (video subject, 36:53)
• Jim jokes about brainwashing, “This is like Israel and America! We control everything!” (Jim Breuer, 37:03)
• Christina: “Doesn’t this sound like a nightmare as a man to deal with three broads and control them all the time?” (Christina P, 37:18)

The Effects of Pornography, Masculinity, and Pop Culture

[41:24 - 43:21]

• They critique porn’s influence on young men and how sexual content dominates pop culture, contrasting with old, innocent TV shows.
  • “I’m not gonna brag about sucking Ds and stuff. We’re uptight, how are we comedians?” (Christina P, 43:08)
• Jim remarks on how everything is “sold through sex,” compared to “just musicians singing” in the ‘60s.

Lowbrow Humor & Clip Commentary

[43:30 - 51:15]

• Christina and Jim riff on wild internet clips: men at work using bro language, “fart orgy” requests, and embarrassing moments from their own youth involving pornography.
  • “Where is your life...the thing that excites you most is to find a white guy to fart near your face.” (Jim Breuer, 45:46)
• Both reflect on their own naïveté and the innocence—or lack thereof—of their upbringings.

Dangerous Trends, Substance Abuse, and Hazing

[51:04 - 57:23]

• Christina describes the prevalence of “huffing,” robo-tripping, and wild behavior from high school, questioning where kids learn these things.
  • “Did you ever do whippets? Come on.” (Christina P, 52:06)
  • Jim avoids it, joking, “Anything where I see someone’s eyes go like [glazed], I’m out.”

Frat Boy Image, Real Personality, and Comedy Roots

[53:05 - 55:03]

• Jim clears up that he was never actually a frat boy, though his SNL persona, “Goat Boy,” resonated with that demographic.
  • “I was the furthest thing from it [frat boy].” (Jim Breuer, 54:29)
• Both reflect on their early start in stand-up and how their real personalities defy the stereotypes.

Touring, YouTube & The New Comedy World

[57:32 - 60:33]

• Jim talks about his current stand-up tour (“Find the Funny”), working with young videographers, and leaning into independent content on YouTube, Rumble, etc.
  • “It’s so empowering. You don’t need the establishment anymore.” (Christina P, 59:08)
• Both bash TikTok for censorship and tech “dorks” misunderstanding comedy.

Rapid-Fire Internet Clips & Wrap-Up

[60:45 - End]

• The podcast closes with a lightning round of more wild internet/TikTok clips about ex-girlfriend rankings, odd physical quirks, and a recurring “fatso” bit that ends the show on a full-circle, callback note.
  • “Doesn’t matter what your credentials, you can try me, fatso.” (Jim Breuer, 62:43)
• Jim busts out his classic Joe Pesci impression for Christina’s delight. (62:48 - 63:53)
• Ends on a warm note with plans for Jim to return on a future episode.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Outdated Parenting:
  “Let him climb, let him fall. Lose his breath. Of course you lost your breath. Okay. It’s a lesson.”
  (Jim Breuer, 07:17)

• On Hollywood:
  “I just couldn’t believe how the public had no clue about so many...It’s the great—It’s really...”
  (Jim Breuer, 19:03)

• On Marriage:
  “I just don’t have the desire to destroy my life.”
  (Jim Breuer, 28:46)

• On Internet Ridiculousness:
  “Is there really anyone at home, bored, going ‘No, no, wait a minute. This is the show I’ve been waiting for?’”
  (Jim Breuer, 35:54)

• On Aging & Not Caring:
  “That’s where I’m at. That’s just why I walk in and farting at the same time.”
  (Jim Breuer, 65:29)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:26 – 06:58: Jim’s childhood, immigrant family, being a “fat kid”
• 13:50 – 17:16: Old-school vs. modern culture; gender identity
• 17:47 – 19:56: SNL and Hollywood secrets; Epstein and Spacey
• 23:09 – 32:19: Loyalty, long-term marriage, family trauma
• 32:25 – 41:23: Viral polyamory and internet weirdness
• 41:24 – 43:21: Pornography’s influence & cultural innocence lost
• 51:04 – 57:23: Drug trends (“huffing”, robo-tripping, whippets); fraternity stories
• 57:32 – 60:33: Touring & the new independent comedy world
• 62:48 – 63:53: Joe Pesci impressions & callback to “fatso”
• 65:52 – End: Last internet clip commentary/closing banter

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Episode Tone & Style

This episode is classic “Your Mom’s House”: a rapid mix of raunchy, irreverent humor, authentic life stories, big social commentary, and inside references. Christina and Jim’s chemistry is snappy and honest, swinging from sarcasm to sincerity and back again, with a heavy dose of outsider skepticism toward modern trends. Jim is as animated and thoughtful as ever, with his signature cartoonish delivery and sharp observations.

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For Listeners New & Old

Whether you love wild internet clips, old-school stand-up, or genuinely open conversations about how the world’s gotten weird, this episode delivers. You’ll hear everything from inside Hollywood dirt to goofy parenting tips, and a lot of “try me, fatso” energy along the way.

Find tickets for Jim Breuer’s ‘Find the Funny’ tour at jimbreuer.com. All Christina tour dates at christinap.com.

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Transcript

[Christina P]

Mommies. I am doing Stand Up, a very limited run. I will be in Irving, Texas, April 24th and 25th, May 14th through 16th in Denver, Colorado at Comedy Vox. And then Chicago, Illinois, September 18th through 19th at the Den Theater. Christinap.com for tickets.

[Jim Brewer]

Well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.

[Christina P]

Get in the game with the college branded Venmo debit card. Ref your team with every tap and earn up to 5% cash back with Venmo Stash, a new rewards program from Venmo. No monthly fee, no minimum balance, just school pride and spending power. Get in the game and sign up for the Venmo debit [e-mail] collegecard the Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. select schools available. Venmo Stash terms and exclusions apply at venmo.me stash terms max. $100 cash back per month. Hello, mommies. It is me, Christina P. Tim Segura is in California filming bad thoughts 2. But with me is fucking. I'm so pumped, guys. Put your hands together for the Gym Brewer. The Gym Brewer. How cool are you? You're so funny. And I'm like. I'm a little starstruck, you know? Really? Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

Wow. Okay. Cool of you.

[Christina P]

I love you.

[Jim Brewer]

Thank you.

[Christina P]

I love. I love your silly face. You've got, like, the best silly eyes.

[Jim Brewer]

And, like, I think it's from. I think it's just from watching too many cartoons as a kid. It's just imitating everything I watched, that's all.

[Christina P]

Is that it? Is that. Was that your inspiration for comedy cartoons?

[Jim Brewer]

No, I think it was being a fat kid.

[Christina P]

You're fat.

[Jim Brewer]

I was fat. I was 82 pounds in kindergarten. And the only reason I remember that is because I had to go to the nurse and they would. It was me, Sally Ann Costello, and Noel Garzon, three of the fattest kids in kindergarten. And the nurse would come and ask for all three of us. And then I got on the scale, it was £82. And I remember being in front of my. My nanny's house, and this older kid was on his bike. He's like, oh, my God, how fat are you? How much you weigh? I didn't know. I was like, 5, 82 pounds. He had to tell someone, but there was no one in the street. That's why I remember it was £82.

[Christina P]

He looked for somebody. Some evidence to confirm the reality.

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christina P]

Why were you so fat?

[Jim Brewer]

I think, honestly, because I had an Italian. So my parents were really blue collar. My mom was. My dad was gone at 6 a5 5am he's gone.

[Christina P]

What did he do?

[Jim Brewer]

Sanitation. Oh, wow. Yeah, they were World War II era parents. People think grandparents. No, my parents were super late in having me. My mom would always, like in her 40s when she had me, she'd have martinis and tell me like, we were supposed to abort. You what? Because people, they don't have children in their 40s. There's something come out. They said something's going wrong with him, and we didn't. I didn't know if they had you or not, but I did. I had you. And thank God. Besides your eyes, there's nothing wrong with you. Thank you, Mom. So good. No, but. So they would drop me off in the morning. Yeah. And the lady, all I can guess is she was Italian. Mary. She was like my second mom. I still, I still think of her. And I think, because I was just a wild, animated, high energy kid, she was just like, oh my God, this kid not. Shut up. You know, here you have. Eat a cake, eat a burger, eat fresh foam. This kitty don't stop. Yeah. And. And I would get. So I'd go to school, come home from school around 3, she's like, you gotta be hungry.

[Christina P]

She'd make.

[Jim Brewer]

She'd make burgers three, four days a week. She'd make meatballs, she'd make cake. Then I'd get dessert. Well, now when I go home, I know I'm gonna get another dessert.

[Christina P]

And another dinner.

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah, and another dinner. So my mom, like, you hungry? Like, yeah, I didn't eat. As each week goes by, my cheeks get bigger, my breasts are getting bigger. Like, I don't know what's going on.

[Christina P]

Me.

[Jim Brewer]

I don't know. So. Yeah.

[Christina P]

So cute.

[Jim Brewer]

So that's. That's how it.

[Christina P]

Did you have siblings?

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah, but they were much older.

[Christina P]

Oh, okay. So you were, you were the late.

[Jim Brewer]

So all my nieces, like, for instance, on this tour, my niece, who I've had out on tour, every time I go on tour, it's like the therapy tour. Yeah, I bring, I bring like, okay, you. You have issues with some toxic things. Why don't you come with Uncle Jimmy and we try to straighten the center. You sell merchandise, something. Then I had like a nephew. Oh, you're out of prison. Let's try to win you back in the line. Here's another one. Okay. Let's try to help this. So I was super close with all my nieces and nephew because they're all within. Yeah. Two years of me. So the niece that I have meeting me and la, she's a couple years younger and I used to bring her and they'd be like, yeah, your niece? She's my niece. It's my sister's kid who's like 70.

[Christina P]

Yeah. Wow. Does it work? Did it straighten them out, bringing them on the road?

[Jim Brewer]

Nephews worked very well. The niece did well. She's doing well now. They go through. They go through.

[Christina P]

God damn. Don't tell me you have kids. Yeah. Yeah. You have kids?

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah. What do you have?

[Christina P]

I have two boys. They're seven and 10. And what you're talking about is right, like if you don't put a. Bro, bro. I know 7 and 10.

[Jim Brewer]

Put your feet up because that's. This is where you're at right now.

[Christina P]

No, really, this is a sweet spot.

[Jim Brewer]

Let's just enjoy this. There's 7 and 10. Yeah, you're in a great spot.

[Christina P]

I'm having fun with them, actually. I throw them in the car every weekend. We go on adventures. I travel with them. We laugh. No, it. They're fucking crazy though. And if I don't give them activity, the little one will just stuff his face to a. Snacks and so on. The older one, candy, candy, food, food.

[Jim Brewer]

Well, boys too. They need non stop, non stop outdoor entertainment. Climbing.

[Christina P]

Yes.

[Jim Brewer]

Fighting.

[Christina P]

Yes.

[Jim Brewer]

Eating things they shouldn't eat all day. Break things they just want to break.

[Christina P]

We just.

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

You know what we did this weekend? We just threw rocks, found the lake and we just threw rocks and I was like, just throw rocks. And I sit there. We fed squirrels. Like my little. My little guy can actually feed squirrels with his hands. Yes. In the part, like, just go. Just get bitten. I don't care.

[Jim Brewer]

That's what you got to do with boys.

[Christina P]

I know wild dogs, size of trees.

[Jim Brewer]

Get this tree. And moms are often like, don't let him climb, let him climb, let him fall. Lose his breath. Of course you lost your breath. Okay. It's a lesson. It's all good.

[Christina P]

Well, I'm Eastern European mom, so I do encourage them to be boys because I don't want crybaby pussies to grow up and be soft men. I don't like this. So I do encourage them to be fighting and pushing and playing, kicking. I love it. I like that.

[Jim Brewer]

There comes Climanch at sea and on, you know, stick rock and toss rock.

[Christina P]

You're German? You're br.

[Jim Brewer]

German. I'm Brier.

[Christina P]

Brier. Breuer. Bre Bro.

[Jim Brewer]

See, in song you are a brewer, but un is O. So you Are bro you come from? So you are broyer. I left that place going. I am Breuer. I'm no longer brewery. You will call me Breya.

[Christina P]

Yeah. You went to Germany?

[Jim Brewer]

Many times. I love it there.

[Christina P]

Where are you guys from? What part?

[Jim Brewer]

I don't know. I still haven't figured that out. I've been looking at my dad's death certificate and his dad stuff like, where are we from? No, but according to them, I'm somewhere in north Germany.

[Christina P]

Okay, north of Germany or.

[Jim Brewer]

No, northern German Germany.

[Christina P]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can see that. Because you have such pretty blue eyes.

[Jim Brewer]

Thank you. If it's okay. No disrespect, once I blush. No disrespect to Mr. Well, you're from

[Christina P]

a good European family. Let's start the show. We haven't even started the show. Really? Because we've been chatting. I have so much fun with you. You're just like. You're just.

[Jim Brewer]

We haven't even hit record yet.

[Christina P]

Oh, we've hit record.

[Jim Brewer]

Okay. We have to do it.

[Christina P]

We have to do our opening clip. Are you ready? So just like I said, I'm sure your cool parents would have liked this. So here you go. Hi.

[Jim Brewer]

Can you tell me about your dog?

[Christina P]

This is Honey. He is a gay, gender fluid golden retriever. Afghan hound mix.

[Jim Brewer]

Yes. How did you know that he was gay?

[Christina P]

We have another dog named Charlie. He's about seven years older than Honey and they are completely inseparable.

[Jim Brewer]

Well, hi, Happy pie. Okay, well, that's the gossip. This. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone mother into this. Your mom in the stand.

[Christina P]

Welcome, welcome.

[Jim Brewer]

With Tom Segura,

[Christina P]

man.

[Jim Brewer]

Welcome to your mom's house. How'd you know he was gay? Because he went, oh, woof, woof. We noticed. We noticed. He really decorated his area very well. He was so clean with his sticks.

[Christina P]

Could you imagine this stupid. Is your mom this dumb fuck in her stupid shorts? This is your owner and you're like, I'm just happy not to be on the street.

[Jim Brewer]

He's a non binary dog. We don't let him pick his gender because it's his. Right. That's what it is. And we think this dog is gay because you should see how he decorates his little sitting area. It's incredible. We're pretty convinced it's gay. And he tries to always, you know, take on the other dog.

[Christina P]

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[Jim Brewer]

Oh, way different. We're like way different. And what's scarier is how people try to then certain people try to convince me I'm the nut.

[Christina P]

Yeah, you're an asshole.

[Jim Brewer]

The nut.

[Christina P]

You're insensitive. You're not inclusive because you think that

[Jim Brewer]

this is fucked up for the, for the hundreds of thousands of years of like the male bug with the female bug, a male tree with the female tree. And this now we're like, no, it's non binary. And I'm not gonna determine what my child sex is. I'll let them pick it at 3. I'm pretty sure my 3 year old's gay because when I stick my pinky in there, he kind of likes it. That's how I clean it and he puts a face. Oh, my God. Oh, you're anti baby lover. What?

[Christina P]

A baby lover?

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Yeah, that's pretty wild.

[Jim Brewer]

Well, it's also one of these two. Wow. We won't go there.

[Christina P]

No go there, but I'll see.

[Jim Brewer]

You can go there. I'm Mr. Rabbit Hole. I'm always like, let's go. And I'll come back up like, okay. So you notice how everyone in Hollywood's transgender. Is it their kids or they adopt them to start hitting them when they're younger? Let's start with Woody Allen, okay? Gets his kid, hits his own kid. Everyone's like, he's genius. No one's talking about the fact that he, oh, I'll get the Chinese kid. Dong bang, dang, dang. You ever notice the most biggest people in power just happen to me? All right, I've said enough. You're right. I'm a conspiracy theorist. That's why I left the business a long time ago. I didn't see nothing.

[Christina P]

It's fucking crazy. Why don't we talk about this all the time? That Woody Allen married his fucking stepdaughter, bro.

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah. When do you think that start?

[Christina P]

You ever hear that?

[Jim Brewer]

You ever hear the people just don't

[Christina P]

talk about that was yes. Former stepdaughter.

[Jim Brewer]

Okay, wait a minute. What about the little Asian kid? He started tapping that he adopted.

[Christina P]

Wait, isn't that her?

[Jim Brewer]

Is that her?

[Christina P]

That's, that's what I'm talking about. That's Suny Previn. And yes, he, when he was with the wife, the, you know, misery of hero, they adopted, I think this child, child, child. So he was the father for a while and then they divorced. And then he was like, well, she's still kind of hot.

[Jim Brewer]

She's kind of hot. I used to change you and I used to Watch her dress. So maybe I could start, you know, could you imagine tapping that and put her in my movie? It's like kind of double win and Hollywood still respects me. Yeah,

[Christina P]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

He's genius.

[Christina P]

He's a genius.

[Jim Brewer]

His work is incredible. All psychos work. Absolutely incredible.

[Christina P]

Well, too. And if you look at the theme of his movies, which I do, it's usually the theme of middle aged man finds redemption through young neurotic young Jew finds redemption through What? It's. It's the same fucking thing. I. I don't know. When my world is so crazy. Yeah. And then he's. I don't know. I guess fuck my stepdaughter.

[Jim Brewer]

I'll adopt a girl from China and then I'll bang her. When my wife isn't around, I'll groom her and then when she's not around, I'll play my donkey. I'm a genius.

[Christina P]

I'm a genius.

[Jim Brewer]

They love playing with their donkeys.

[Christina P]

They love it. Oh, my God, she's a good donkey.

[Jim Brewer]

I didn't know that was inappropriate. Can't believe I got caught.

[Christina P]

I love your donkey sound. Yeah. Don't you find too, like all these creeps in the Epstein files and like, this is just a lack of self control, bro. Like, be a human. What is this?

[Jim Brewer]

Well, that also just shows you how. Well, I don't know how far you've gone with the Epstein stuff, but I was looking at it soon as it seems like when Covet hit a lot of things hit the Internet and all these other little places to go. Now I knew already just from SNL and stuff like that. Just things were weird. Tell me, like, I would.

[Christina P]

Tell me.

[Jim Brewer]

I would see.

[Christina P]

I want to hear this.

[Jim Brewer]

You know, this one time I saw a young male hooker. You know what? I can't by fact say it was a hooker.

[Christina P]

Allegedly.

[Jim Brewer]

Allegedly. It was a young man. And I remember going home to my wife going, yeah, I don't know if this teenager was of age. What I just saw. Like, I don't. She's like, what happened? He came in and he's like. He's walking down the hall and he's clearly. Yeah, not a. Not a baseball. Not an. You get the point.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

And he goes, I'm looking for a Kevin Spacey's room. Kevin spaces.

[Christina P]

Yes.

[Jim Brewer]

Dressing rooms are over there, you know, and then you hear like, oh, my God, is this legal? Like, whoa, what is going on? Yeah. Amongst. Amongst other. I just couldn't believe how the public had no clue about so many. Just so many people in General. There's really. It's the great. It's really.

[Christina P]

I tell you what, Jim, I'm one of those people that I'm a little naive. And I didn't. I didn't really know either. Like, yeah, I've been in showbiz. Like, I worked on. I was not on snl, so I feel like you really were in the heart of darkness. Probably on a lot of stuff. I saw some stupid shit, which is why I live here. And my circle's pretty clean. Like, the people I kick it with are not doing anything right.

[Jim Brewer]

Mine are still who I grew up with.

[Christina P]

Say same. The same friends I've had since I was 14 fucking years old. And then comics that I've known for 20 some years.

[Jim Brewer]

Correct. I know I still have everyone that grew up on the street with me in Long Island. Yeah, those and then my high school. And then even I don't even. Yeah, that's really the main core. Because they're the ones always going to be honest.

[Christina P]

That's so important, too.

[Jim Brewer]

They're the ones once things start to happen, you know, my friend, like, we've got new shoes now.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

Oh, I can wear, like, bright colors. All of a sudden you're like, hey, I do one podcast also on a big shot.

[Christina P]

You think you're better than me? Yeah. Do I really look different?

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah, it's a little shiny. All right.

[Christina P]

I know. Because your real friends do not care.

[Jim Brewer]

No, they don't.

[Christina P]

They don't care about any of this.

[Jim Brewer]

You're still. I'm still fat, Jimmy.

[Christina P]

When did you get not fat?

[Jim Brewer]

I. When I started discovering girls.

[Christina P]

So this is.

[Jim Brewer]

This is around puberty. Yeah, puberty. I was like, I'm only seen to be getting the Filipino chick, Josephine, who's cute. But I need to expand my variety here.

[Christina P]

That is such a type. Dude, that's so funny. You just like, oh, she was. That's such a type. I know what you're talking about is that one girl who's not. She's not like, unfortunate. Like, she's not ugly. She's not like, she's not like, oh, with the big tits in 8th grade that everybody wanted to bang. Probably bleep out. Oh, that was a real person.

[Jim Brewer]

Mine was Joe. Yeah.

[Christina P]

Should we be saying these people's last names? I know.

[Jim Brewer]

Like, I already.

[Christina P]

Stupid.

[Jim Brewer]

I threw out fat people's names when they were a kid. They could be trauma. They might have. Something horrible might have happened.

[Christina P]

Yeah. So you saw. You saw the semi hot Filipino chick

[Jim Brewer]

and you were like, she liked me.

[Christina P]

I Can do better. Oh.

[Jim Brewer]

Oh, no. She liked me. And I just knew. I'm like, I'm not gonna be able to keep this up. I gotta step up.

[Christina P]

Okay.

[Jim Brewer]

And we never. We never. And I was too shy. I was way too. So I was extremely shy.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

Extremely shy. I'm not good with.

[Christina P]

Okay. How long have you been. Are you married?

[Jim Brewer]

32 years.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

Three girls. Oh, yeah. That's why I said you're where you're at in life.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

Tell me once they hit. Well, boys, I don't really know. I think. I think boys are gonna gravitate to you.

[Christina P]

Yes.

[Jim Brewer]

Because that's usually the law. The law is.

[Christina P]

Yes.

[Jim Brewer]

The girls turn on mom in the teenage years.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

And then their next plan is divide and conquer. They basically become politicians. And the news. Did you hear what's going on with dad? Yeah. When you're not around. I'm just saying my. You might want to keep an eye on that. He's getting a little crazy, you know, like, what's going on? Oh, yeah. He's always saying things like, what's going on? Mom's crazy.

[Christina P]

Really?

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah. This package is showing up every day. There's like, she has an addiction. When you leave the house, what does she ask you about the donation she gives the church? How much does she give?

[Christina P]

Like, yeah, yeah, I'm. I'm the same. Like, I've been with the same dude for. So. Like, since before MySpace, do you know what I mean? Like, before Internet. Well, so you too? 32. I'm like, 22.

[Jim Brewer]

When I was married on Saturday Night

[Christina P]

Live, no way was that hard because you were, like, famous, Newly famous and young.

[Jim Brewer]

And here's why it's hard.

[Christina P]

Yeah,

[Jim Brewer]

it was hard and easy at the same time. Easy because it really. She helped. I'm very loyal. So before even Sunday Live, she would go on this journey with me everywhere. So when I was playing in New York City, we couldn't afford parking a garage, doing seven, eight sets. So she would wait outside the club, you know, try to roll up on 3rd Street, McDougall. And. And then I'd come off stage, hop in the car. Then we drive uptown New York. Go do up there. Turn it. And this would go every weekend until 3, 4am and we drive back to Long Island. We had 200 bucks when we got married.

[Christina P]

Same with Tom and I. Literally. Yes. That's that exact amount.

[Jim Brewer]

And we. And as we were counting the money when we got. When got married, we're like, oh, my God, we're up to $5,000 right? Now. And the first thing we did is get rid of all our credit. And then we started over, and my car got stolen. The. The. So when we woke up for the wedding. Right. This is really funny. The night before, my best friends, we went out one last time. I still had all my tuxes, and I had my honeymoon stuff, which is really sad and pathetic. Where we went.

[Christina P]

Where'd you go?

[Jim Brewer]

So I could. I couldn't afford anything. And I knew she liked horses, so one gig I did was this place called the Rocking Horse Ranch in upstate New York.

[Christina P]

It is.

[Jim Brewer]

It's not like Montana.

[Christina P]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

Where it's ten grand a person and you're eating three meals. This is. Yeah. Family round table. It's not a honeymoon place.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

She likes horses. This would be great. So it was like, 700 bucks. Spending a lot.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

For a honey. Yeah.

[Christina P]

It's a fortune when you're.

[Jim Brewer]

This is. Hope you know what you're getting.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

So we. We parked the car. The next morning, I wake up, and I'm like, now thank God. Thank God for my friend Phil the night before. He's like, you could grab the toxins and the stuff and bring up to you. I'm like, I'm not. No one's. No one's taking anything. Who's taking anything? Like, I'm gonna bring the toxins just in case. Well, thank God he did that, because the next day, we walked out. I'm like,

[Christina P]

no.

[Jim Brewer]

Is the. Weren't we parked right here?

[Christina P]

No, dude.

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah. Like, wait, where's my car?

[Christina P]

Oh, my God.

[Jim Brewer]

And thank. Thank God he took the tuxes out. And I called my wife that day. I'm like, are you sitting down? She's like, are you backing out? No, but the car got stolen. She's like, all right, don't worry about it. I'm like, don't worry about it.

[Christina P]

It took a car. Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah, yeah. So I found it a couple days later. They trashed it. They went to White Castle. They went to dance clubs. But they didn't take the tennis records, which explained a lot about them. I'm just saying they weren't into tennis. That's all they left.

[Christina P]

Just White Castle.

[Jim Brewer]

That's all they left.

[Christina P]

Shrimp nibblers. Wow.

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah.

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[Jim Brewer]

Wow.

[Christina P]

32. She really loves you. I mean, for a woman do that.

[Jim Brewer]

She's been loyal. So when SNL came along, right, you know, you'd see a. A sitcom hottie or a musician hottie.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

And I wouldn't think any of it until someone come along, go, hey, so and so just asked, how married are you? Like, are you serious right now? I could have had that. But that's all just in your head and you go, oh, God. Thank God. I never thank God. Yeah, thank God. Because we've had quite a journey already.

[Christina P]

Yes. I'm really loyal, too. That's. I think. Well, my mother would be like, you are too loyal. We're. We're the anomalies. And, like, Burton Lee and Kreischer have been together forever. There's.

[Jim Brewer]

There's not a lot of people. No, I just don't have the desire

[Christina P]

to destroy your life.

[Jim Brewer]

To destroy my life. Not only that, but I also, growing up young, like I said, I had a lot of nieces and nephews and stuff, so we were a very close family. And the first time I watched a divorce go down was with my sister. And I saw the effects from my nieces that were only two years younger than me, like my sisters. And that even though I was. I was an uncle, it was very traumatizing for me to watch those girls go through that emotion. And I saw it was all from the beginning of a broken home that started very ugly. Yeah. You know, he was. I don't. It's not for me to say, but, like, he. Yeah, it wasn't a pretty picture. He got a little crazy for whatever reasons that he was going through in life, but to witness it was pretty intense. And then, you know, there was one Other one where sister and that broken up and the father was never around for those kids. And so I. The people closest to me, I saw the effects of broken families.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

It's the worst. And I was like, I would never do this to my kids.

[Christina P]

Fucking never.

[Jim Brewer]

And like, never, ever.

[Christina P]

I've had the step parents. I've had a few pairs. Now I think my dad's on his fourth. I. My fourth mom, my fourth step mommy. I don't even know anymore. And like, it sucks. It's never. It. It's okay. Well, yeah, that's not great.

[Jim Brewer]

So, like, even when I go visit my nieces and our whole life is going over there and we play forever and. And then now it's like, step kids are in here. Like, oh, no. I got. Who are them?

[Christina P]

Who are you?

[Jim Brewer]

Who are these two kids? Yeah.

[Christina P]

Well, not only that, like, you find that when they divorced, my parents divorced. And then they would just remarry. The same person, essentially. Different form, same shit, different toilet over and over because they hadn't done any kind of work on themselves in between it. So even if you do blow your life up, you're just gonna marry the same fucking bitch. Which is what I tell Tom Segura all the time. I love you. I love you, dummy. You're mine. I will not divorce. Like, I will never. Fucking right out. No.

[Jim Brewer]

And so how do you guys work out things? Because.

[Christina P]

What do you mean, workout? I tell him what it is. It is what I tell him.

[Jim Brewer]

Well, because clearly you go through extremely hard times.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

Especially parenting.

[Christina P]

Yeah. It's drag it up your marriage. Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

Who's the good cop? You the good cop? Or is he the good cop with the kids?

[Christina P]

No, we switch places on that. But he's more a good cop.

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah, he's more good cop.

[Christina P]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

Well, you're going to have serious issues once they're teenagers because they become more of they. They. They're going to go to him to

[Christina P]

fucking finagle out, like.

[Jim Brewer]

Officer, listen, that bitch in the other room is unreasonable. She's crazy. You know that. You know she talks to you? Yeah. Yeah. You see the way she talks to you and dad, we're always like, mom shouldn't talk to you that way. So disrespectful. You're a good human. You're not bad. You're never best. And she's like. She can see what she says to her friends.

[Christina P]

I know, I know, I know. Fuck that. Listen, but this could have been you. Okay, Just watch this and see if this is something like In a parallel universe, this could have been you ready, girls?

[Jim Brewer]

Come in. Yes, Daddy. This is Brenda, aka Bluefie. 1. This is Samantha Bean.

[Christina P]

2.

[Jim Brewer]

This is Adriana, aka Age 3. I control my three partners. 24, 7.

[Christina P]

Age, age, age. And like, I control. Well, hold on. Let's see. Scott, who has not one, but two girlfriends.

[Jim Brewer]

We've been together now for over 10 years. We've been married for nine.

[Christina P]

We had actually talked about bringing other women into the relationship pretty often throughout our relationship, even from the beginning. And we wanted to figure out how to best make our relationship work. Whatever Daddy wants, Daddy gets.

[Jim Brewer]

Oh, and she's never had a penis. She's full blown.

[Christina P]

I met Daddy seven years ago. Got it. And we actually worked at the same company. I met Daddy in June of 2023

[Jim Brewer]

and we met online.

[Christina P]

I have not been in a relationship of this kind of.

[Jim Brewer]

And me neither.

[Christina P]

Daddy was my first real relationship altogether. So that's.

[Jim Brewer]

That's. She was a boy. She was a boy. There's no way that voice is real. That was a boy.

[Christina P]

Which one? Hold on. The last.

[Jim Brewer]

These are like. These kids were shipped in. They had to, like, pick off that penis. Let's put it out there, put it in the public eye. We got it. We're really killing with this propaganda. Let's go. Is this a show?

[Christina P]

No, this is a light. This is a real life.

[Jim Brewer]

This is from where, though? Because it's film. Professional.

[Christina P]

Hold on, hold on. Yeah. Is this like, from a. What is this from, Josh? Okay.

[Jim Brewer]

They have a YouTube channel, I think. Here, let me pull it up for you. Yeah. Brought to you on YouTube.

[Christina P]

Jim Brewer has a YouTube channel.

[Jim Brewer]

It's just how crazy they have 40 million followers. How'd that happen?

[Christina P]

Oh,

[Jim Brewer]

soon we will control. Control all the genders. We'll control the minds of Americans. And then.

[Christina P]

Do you think this is the show? Do you think this is Hollywood controlling?

[Jim Brewer]

Yes.

[Christina P]

Yeah. This is the propaganda.

[Jim Brewer]

Yes.

[Christina P]

Just bang whoever, do whatever. Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

This is exactly love.

[Christina P]

Don't judge, because if you. If you don't agree with this, you're judgmental. You're. You're a piece of.

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah, I will gladly be the piece of judgmental. Him maybe wasn't the female. I don't buy one. She's been a female whole life. The one girl talks like that. That was a boy's voice that they changed.

[Christina P]

There's no way I've been with Daddy. Daddy is my first relationship.

[Jim Brewer]

And you'll never guess, like, I get unlimited lattes for doing this YouTube channel at Starbucks. And if I don't make it on this show. I get to be one of the people that make it because they accept my client. But I don't want to change my hair. I don't want to change my hair. I like the color of my hair.

[Christina P]

Dada. Wait, what? So wait, so Daddy has just these three pigs that he's with. Who else is he? So it's.

[Jim Brewer]

These are my three slaves that volunteered.

[Christina P]

There's more.

[Jim Brewer]

So, yeah, this is a channel. It's a show all about people in crazy relationships. So this was just one episode of that. Is this where we're at as a society? Is there really anyone at home, bored, going, no, no, wait a minute. This is the show I've been waiting for.

[Christina P]

It's a show I've been waiting for. What are you talking about? I love this stuff.

[Jim Brewer]

I love this.

[Christina P]

I love watching this. Well. Cause, I mean, I get so disappointed because I get faked out. But I do think these three are just in like a weird sex thing, right?

[Jim Brewer]

This is like some weird. Yeah, it's called drug them, show them pornography, steal them, mind control them.

[Christina P]

Oh, that's what's going on here. This guy, Daddy.

[Jim Brewer]

This is. This is perform. There's no way this is real. There's no way. Okay, I'm not.

[Christina P]

Let's see more. Do we have more? Yeah, I only have this short. I control my three partners. 24 7.

[Jim Brewer]

Wait, go back. I want to see if there's Adam Apples on any of them. 24 7. Their outfits are fully approved. Everyone is location tracked. I have access to all of their messages, all their communications to eat. Oftentimes, they'll eat out of dog bowls. This is a copy of the contract that they all have with me.

[Christina P]

I was absolutely willing to do so. I'm here to serve him, and that's part of my service. I don't worry about losing my independence. I don't think I really even think about my independence. It doesn't mean much to me.

[Jim Brewer]

So is this like Israel and America? Sounds like the same thing. We control everything. The way they dress, we listen to everything they say, and we will determine what goes on with their lives. Yes, you've heard it straight.

[Christina P]

But honestly too, I mean, doesn't this sound like an absolute nightmare as a man to deal with three broads and to control them all the time? And here's what you're gonna wear. I don't want to pick out my kids clothing. Why would I want to pick out another adult's clothing every day?

[Jim Brewer]

I don't have A desire to control anything or anybody. My wife spent years trying to. Our teenage daughters. Yeah, it was a die zest her and. And just there's still repercussions of her like, oh, my God, that was bad. It's okay. We're back at it. We're back in it. No. Yeah. No.

[Christina P]

These people need to have kids. Just be. See, I think this is an argument for, like, the traditional life. Because if you do get married and have kids to deal with and a job and a life, you're not putting collars on girls and calling them daddy. And you know what I mean? Like, you need a fucking direction, man. Dude, people need a fucking direction.

[Jim Brewer]

We all need to live, like, in Africa, in the bush for like, two months to get back to what real humanity is supposed to be.

[Christina P]

Oh, that's a great idea.

[Jim Brewer]

There's no chipping, there's no social media. They don't know about anything. They don't. You drop our president's name. They're like, you know, the guy. The guy. Hey, red hair. And it just. They live life. It's normal. It's normal. A boy girl, he hunts. She's. She's like putting beads together. There is no collars. There's no. There's no dad going, where you going? Where are you going? In the bush. Where you going? I put tracker on you. We've lost our mindset.

[Christina P]

We've lost our fucking minds. We have gender fluid dogs. And he's not that cute. Like, he's not a catch. That. That's what really kills me is that this guy is not a cat.

[Jim Brewer]

Well, because what you don't see is the. The nine millimeter he's got under the sweatshirt.

[Christina P]

That's what my husband always says about these types. But there's no way you think this guy's packing a hog.

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah. I mean, look at the happiness in his eyes. He's just. He's so happy. And look at her. Yeah. For one bit, she didn't have an Adam's apple. No disrespect to her, but I have a lot of questions. That's all.

[Christina P]

So much time. So much time to dedicate to their sex lives. I could. Could you even imagine having this much time to dedicate to just being horny? It's like, it's a 247 horny job.

[Jim Brewer]

It's a lot, bro. It's a lot of investment to put in your donkey. And. And I mean, that's what I mean.

[Christina P]

It's all you're doing. You're like.

[Jim Brewer]

I mean, My guy, he whistles once he whistles, he's good for.

[Christina P]

For a little while, right?

[Jim Brewer]

Bang. Okay. That'll hold me over for like nine days.

[Christina P]

Exactly.

[Jim Brewer]

You don't even have to look at it.

[Christina P]

You go on. It's not a 24. 7 cycle.

[Jim Brewer]

Who could do that?

[Christina P]

Of like, I'm gonna. I gotta again, I gotta. I gotta think about now. Now I gotta. I gotta dress her to her later. I gotta put the collar on her. Gotta feed her out of a dog bowl so I can her later. Like, what do we. What is this? What is this anyway, Jim Brown, you watch this. I don't. I will, I will. I want to watch the gay hockey players.

[Jim Brewer]

Gay hockey players.

[Christina P]

I'm really into gay guys making out lately. I don't know. We've been watching. You want to see some clips? Do we have some to show you? Hold on.

[Jim Brewer]

Dang.

[Christina P]

Show some clips, Josh. So, you know, just so you know what I'm talking about. I want you to have some context. Do you have those, Josh, from heated

[Jim Brewer]

rivalry or just other stuff?

[Christina P]

No, just other fun stuff. Just let Jim see what I'm into these days. Do you watch pornography at all?

[Jim Brewer]

No, I used to a long time ago. Yeah, but that's another thing. What happens is you. It's worse than heroin and it does. It does disease your mind. And what happens is you go, why doesn't my wife like being strangled and have her hair pulled as I punch her in the temple? What is. What is wrong with that?

[Christina P]

No, I know what you're saying because I do think I listen. Am I a puritan? No, but I do think that young men are being influenced by pornography and they don't know how to like, just have regular time sex. If you're seeing that like in your 10 or 11 years old and you think that's like the norm, that's crazy.

[Jim Brewer]

It is crazy. But that is the norm now. And that is. That mean that that's. Everything is sold through sex. I watched this. I'm really into Johnny Cash, right? So I saw that he had a TV show and I think the late 60s and. And I'm looking at all these shows in the 60s that had musicians and they're just singing. They're not.

[Christina P]

Right.

[Jim Brewer]

They're just singing, right.

[Christina P]

It's just like so innocent.

[Jim Brewer]

When mom made me biscuits, I love the gravy. And we're sitting on the back porch enjoying life. And how do we go from that to just like.

[Christina P]

I know, I know, I know, Ma say mapo. I know.

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah, smack it Smack it. Put it in there. Put it in there. Smack it. Put some money on it. Pull it. Shoot it. Shoot it. Put it in there and shoot it.

[Christina P]

Well, also, what's crazy is that it's sold as female empowerment, right? Like, if I'm empowered, I should be able to do what boys do. And I could suck dicks just like I did, and it's like. Yeah, but that's not really the. I don't know. Is that what true empowerment is? If I can do things that dudes can do the same way they do them, is that who we really are as women?

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

That I can be like, my pussy's so wet, I. Sucking dicks. I don't fucking want to do that, though. Like, I'm not sure that's the path for us.

[Jim Brewer]

No.

[Christina P]

I don't know.

[Jim Brewer]

Now, what are we into?

[Christina P]

We're not into that. I don't. I'm not in. I'm not gonna brag about sucking Ds and stuff. I don't know, dude. We're. You and I are, like, the most uptight people. How are we comedians?

[Jim Brewer]

It's. You're morally grounded.

[Christina P]

Oh, right. Yeah, that's true. Okay, here's what I mean. Just wait a second. Just see if you could go there with me, Jim.

[Jim Brewer]

You guys, get off your asses and back to work.

[Christina P]

Come on, man.

[Jim Brewer]

We're taking a break. Fuck your brake. There's 15 cars here that need to be served. Now get back to it.

[Christina P]

Listen here, fucker.

[Jim Brewer]

The only thing that needs servicing around here is our cocks. So get on your knees and beg like a bitch. What? What?

[Christina P]

What? What? What? What?

[Jim Brewer]

Dude, are you serious right now? Bouch. Wow. Wow, wow, Bouch. Wow. Wow. Chow. Wow.

[Christina P]

I love it. And I'm into. I'm into black dudes doing it. Do you have any black guy?

[Jim Brewer]

Really?

[Christina P]

Yeah. I don't know what happened. We've been watching these clips because Annie loves them. He's always asking us to show them.

[Jim Brewer]

Who.

[Christina P]

Who is Any. Our sound guy here.

[Jim Brewer]

Sound guy?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Nope, nope.

[Christina P]

He's always into it.

[Jim Brewer]

Eddie's suspect to me right now.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Nope.

[Christina P]

Show one. Let's show one that Any loves.

[Jim Brewer]

Which one you love? Annie or Eddie?

[Christina P]

Any. Ny. Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

What kind of name is Any?

[Christina P]

He makes it up. He's very suspicious and he, like. He has, like.

[Jim Brewer]

Oh, that's such a new name.

[Christina P]

He has so many aliases and. Oh, here we go. This is something. Here we go. What? Just. Just give open hearts, Please.

[Jim Brewer]

Can someone set up a fart male white orgy for free? For me. Can they invite me somewhere at least? I still want to get a fartman white porn. But please get someone to invite me to a free fart mail orgy. I live in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

[Christina P]

Please.

[Jim Brewer]

I'm addicted to fart male whites porn. I mean, I'm addicted to a group of fart males.

[Christina P]

A fart.

[Jim Brewer]

A white guys farting in my face. Please wear jeans and gray sweatpants.

[Christina P]

You wear jeans?

[Jim Brewer]

Wait, I wish to get somebody to fart.

[Christina P]

Hold on. Aren't you touring right now? Aren't you going to be in Pennsylvania?

[Jim Brewer]

I am going through Pennsylvania, and I tell you what, I fart a lot. And I'm at the age where it just comes out. My crew can't stand me. Like, they have to be nice to me. I know, but I just walk and it comes out. And I don't care.

[Christina P]

Tom, same thing. He tortures all of our employees, the staff, with.

[Jim Brewer]

But I don't even do it on purpose. I'm just like my. It. The. The strength of the muscles just.

[Christina P]

I'm 58. Who are you telling it to? I know. I've had two children. They come right out. I don't give a. I don't give a.

[Jim Brewer]

But how. Where is your life? Think of all the exciting things that you can do in your lifetime. Where did. What is going on in your surroundings that the thing that most excites you is to find a white guy that will fart near your face.

[Christina P]

I would say that life is pretty damn easy because you found the thing that makes you so happy. Like, if it were that simple, like,

[Jim Brewer]

it makes you nuts. That's where your freak is. Your freak is so happy, though. But imagine walking in and you're going, oh, God. Oh, yeah. Did you eat onions today? Oh, God. Wow.

[Christina P]

That'd be great. That guy's so happy.

[Jim Brewer]

Now, how is you? How do you feel? What is one of your kids? You come home. You come home and you, like, unspin those to you. The kid's 14 and he's been. He's found mom's mom stache. You said you're the one that likes washing this. And then Tom's gonna be like, you see what went. Now you see what you created. You found your stash. Because what happened to me was I found Phil. We found Phil's dad's tape. Changed the whole course of life. He did Phil's dad's tape. Now one of your kids find his tape, and he's sitting there and there's some black guy farting in his face.

[Christina P]

Hey, mom. Wait, sorry. Can I just change your mind about Phil's dad's tape? Do you realize that Phil's dad J's his D to that porn? So essentially, you guys were j ing your Ds to the same porn that Phil's dad?

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah, but it was pretty good.

[Christina P]

Hold on.

[Jim Brewer]

Don't just make Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders and stuff. It was a whole. We were like.

[Christina P]

It's not as good as this, though. I saw what you had. Oh, show them what you had up. Show Jim.

[Jim Brewer]

Oh, God almighty. I'm already frightened.

[Christina P]

What's his bra? He's wearing a bra. Ah. Ah.

[Jim Brewer]

This should be the new fear factor.

[Christina P]

Can I get one?

[Jim Brewer]

I would. I'd get kicked off immediately.

[Christina P]

Forget centipedes.

[Jim Brewer]

Forget bugs and maggots. Like, you gotta suck the black guy's face. Any guy's face. I'm out. You guys gotta suck face for 30 seconds. I'm out.

[Christina P]

That's it.

[Jim Brewer]

I don't even want my hat. I don't need my hat. And I don't need my goodies. My gum.

[Christina P]

I. Listen, I. Challenge accepted. Here, Here. Let's see this. Maybe I needed to switch the tone. I think I upset you a little bit. Let's just watch this.

[Jim Brewer]

What happened? You hit a few cars, huh? Oh, no. I know how we can get out of this.

[Christina P]

No, look what she's doing.

[Jim Brewer]

What is she. Are you okay? What's wrong?

[Christina P]

Nothing.

[Jim Brewer]

Did you hit a few cars? Did you hit a few cars?

[Christina P]

No.

[Jim Brewer]

Are you sure? Your car looks pretty banged up. You mean an ambulance?

[Christina P]

You see what she was doing there?

[Jim Brewer]

Was she. What'd she hide under there?

[Christina P]

She's. She's huffing. Look, look, look. Let's start it again. Look. Dude, she's got. What is that? Disc cleaner?

[Jim Brewer]

You hit a few cars, huh?

[Christina P]

She's huffing, Josh. What is that? She's huffing.

[Jim Brewer]

What is that? Like, what? Is that how you get high? Yeah, it's like duster. Like, computer duster.

[Christina P]

Yes, I did, like, dust. Like, you know, when you clean your keyboard?

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

People, like, huff it. Like, you huff it. But I thought you passed out from huffing that stuff. She's staying loose.

[Jim Brewer]

You will if you crash the car, right?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Yeah, she's dying soon.

[Jim Brewer]

Trying to equalize whatever happens. Just going out in the front yard and spin yourself to death until you lay down and you're spinning for 40 minutes.

[Christina P]

That's what this is. Times 10. But imagine getting there without the spinning. Jim, you're not seeing the positives to this.

[Jim Brewer]

This is true. I didn't see that?

[Christina P]

Why don't you see the fun?

[Jim Brewer]

I don't know how I missed sucking dry cleaner dust.

[Christina P]

People did hold.

[Jim Brewer]

My parents. And this is what happens when you have broken up families. That's a little. That might not be safe to use for consumption.

[Christina P]

It was such a big.

[Jim Brewer]

This your house? Oh my. Well, dang. Just want to be helpful. So what happened?

[Christina P]

Oh, she's dead, dude.

[Jim Brewer]

Damn.

[Christina P]

We just saw this chick time she just passed away.

[Jim Brewer]

Damn. See that?

[Christina P]

She just lost conscience.

[Jim Brewer]

And that's why I'm loyal to my wife.

[Christina P]

I know.

[Jim Brewer]

Know that's gonna be.

[Christina P]

I know. Listen, I. I don't even know if I'm like, moral. I'm scared of life. I'm afraid of stuff like this. I'm afraid. I've seen people do this in high school. This was big in my high school in the valley.

[Jim Brewer]

That?

[Christina P]

Yeah. Like disc cleaner. Like CD disc. I've never in the day heard of this. Yeah, people would huff it. Like, I remember one time this boy did it in front of Tower records. Like, and then he passed out on the grass. And then I thought it was so cool. We started dating like a couple months later.

[Jim Brewer]

Well, it's like the opposite of goodfellas. He's bringing him through the kitchen and here's the table in the front. You see the guy going, yeah. You're like, I gotta have that.

[Christina P]

This guy's gonna have that. But yeah, that was big. Drinking robitussin. Did you ever do that? You drink a whole bottle. It's called roboing. Did you ever do that? Annie and Josh. That's a valid.

[Jim Brewer]

Were your parents around growing up? What happened? Look at me.

[Christina P]

Do you think I'm in comedy? No. I have the worst parents ever. Wait, what happens when you drink the whole bottle of robot does it?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

I mean, you just get up, it's like. It's like drunk. Basically super drunk. Seeing if you take enough. If it's the big one, it tastes like extra strong one.

[Jim Brewer]

Nasty syrup. It's like.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

Why not just drink the real thing?

[Christina P]

Well, because robitussin's got like different chemicals, right? Like it's a mix of. There's some other in there.

[Jim Brewer]

I don't know.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

I didn't find the scientific research. I just got you tossed, dude.

[Jim Brewer]

I never went. I never had it. I never went there.

[Christina P]

Did you huff? Did you do this?

[Jim Brewer]

No, I never did it. No.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

I don't know why. I just always knew. It was like. It was like crack. I just knew. You're not supposed to do that.

[Christina P]

Well, did you guys ever.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Not fun?

[Christina P]

Did you ever do whippets? Come on.

[Jim Brewer]

Anything that would. That I'd see other people in their eyes go like, I'm out.

[Christina P]

But whippets are fun. They're very short term, and you just kind of. And then you're. And then you're out. And then you've killed all your brain cells.

[Jim Brewer]

But I have no desire once my.

[Christina P]

You don't get high.

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah, that's different.

[Christina P]

Oh, would you take this?

[Jim Brewer]

If you smoke weed, you're not going unless it's laced with something, but. Unless you're a dumbass and you bought it from the guy behind the dumpster these days, and you're like, oh, this guy. Just met him.

[Christina P]

Okay, well, here. Did you go to college?

[Jim Brewer]

Did you go to college for like an hour?

[Christina P]

Yeah. I feel like you're. I feel like my.

[Jim Brewer]

My mom really wanted me to fall back on something, and so I. I was really good, believe it or not, at accounting, which I wanted nothing to do with, of course.

[Christina P]

Yeah. Oh, my God.

[Jim Brewer]

So I did great. I went to community college and I went, man. Man, I wanna. I'm gonna go into acting. I want to go straight up acting. And I'm gonna start doing the stand up again. And I'll never forget this. The guys. I'm failing horrendously don't want to be here. And the guy goes, okay, this is the last day for anyone that wants to change their major. If you don't change it today, if you're failing, you get. You get an F, you fail. If you change your major today, you get withdraw. And as he was saying, I got up, I swear to God, I started putting my bags on deuces, bro, he's going, brewer, what are you doing? Sit down. I went, this is the last day. Yeah, Like, I meant he thought I was kidding the whole time. Even in the doorway, he's like, sit down. The classroom's howling. Brewer's so funny. That's what I've been going. And I walked right to the. Right to the theater department.

[Christina P]

Good for you. Good for you. Well, I. Sorry, then. I must have been confused, because I rem. Like in your SNL days, I think college boys loved you. Yeah. Like, when you're on snl, that was your jam. Like your demo people.

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah. They're under the impression I was a frat boy.

[Christina P]

That's right. That's what I thought.

[Jim Brewer]

But I. That I'm. I'm not a frat boy.

[Christina P]

Not at all. And now that I get to know you, I'M like, oh, no. But where did that come from?

[Jim Brewer]

I don't. It's just, you know, not until, I don't know, just sketches, whatever. I don't know. Drinking.

[Christina P]

Oh, you're drinking because, you know, Goat Boy. Yeah. They just loved you.

[Jim Brewer]

I think it was all survival, to be honest with you. Of course, it's like Pesci, Goat Boy, and like one or two other things, but that. But yeah, I had this frat boy, like, image, but I was. I was the furthest thing from it.

[Christina P]

And who cares as long as they love you. And they did. So. Did you. I was gonna say if you were in a frat. No, if you did this. Here, check this. This out.

[Jim Brewer]

Oh, and I'll tell you about frats.

[Christina P]

Okay. You ever done this one?

[Jim Brewer]

Oh, God, Though. Yeah.

[Christina P]

Dude, what a.

[Jim Brewer]

What is it? What is he.

[Christina P]

It's lime.

[Jim Brewer]

Well, I.

[Christina P]

How pissed are you?

[Jim Brewer]

I went to.

[Christina P]

Oh, my.

[Jim Brewer]

I'll tell you why. I. First of all, I never had desire to be in a fraternity.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

But.

[Jim Brewer]

But in high school, Valley Stream Central High. Valley Stream Central, Long Island.

[Christina P]

Okay. We.

[Jim Brewer]

I didn't know this, but there were fraternities in. Our school was Omega.

[Christina P]

It was in high school.

[Jim Brewer]

Yes. Alpha. How and Omega. It got me. I thought it was normal. And during the. During the hazing weeks, because my neighbor was a. Hayes was head of Omega. He was a hazer, and he would come over and talk about hell nights. Like, oh, man, we beat the Brian McDonnehy last night. Man, he ain't gonna be walked for three weeks. Took off one of his nut sacks. I mean. Yeah. And we had pins on it with. Now, like, oh, wow. All for a jacket. So you get to wear your jacket. Wow. Sign me up. And then another one, they would say, oh, we. We. You'd be going to the bathroom.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

And it'd be like a million guys doing push ups in the hallways. What is going on? And then they would light off. M 80s.

[Christina P]

Oh, did you do that? Josh? Josh was in a fraternity. So did you do all this? A little.

[Jim Brewer]

A little less than that. We weren't doing the explosives and all that, but same vibe for sure. Yeah. So it. You go in the bathroom and in the store, you're like, oh, my God. And people are running out like, oh, yeah, it's so. It's hell week or whatever. I was like, yeah, I don't think I need to be.

[Christina P]

Yeah, it's not for you. It's not for you.

[Jim Brewer]

I'm cool.

[Christina P]

You don't have to do that.

[Jim Brewer]

I know. My masculinity comes natural from like naturally.

[Christina P]

Tell me about your channel. First of all, you're touring right now. You should get tickets right now to see Jim on tour. Find the funny tour. He's got a tour bus and everything. Like, like, it's official is on.

[Jim Brewer]

It's official.

[Christina P]

It's so official, bro.

[Jim Brewer]

We've got two kids on my. Like the kid filming me is 19.

[Christina P]

Isn't that wild that that exists? How are you 19?

[Jim Brewer]

It's like I'm posting this today and I, I wanted to make sure this is okay for your storyline. Like, what's my storyline? Oh my gosh. That's very important. Yeah, it's cool to work.

[Christina P]

That's cool. That's kind of fun, right? Being a road dog.

[Jim Brewer]

I haven't done this in a long time. Yeah, I haven't done it like 20 years. I mean I've been around and I've done runs, but not like 50 cities and two and a half months.

[Christina P]

Wow, such a great comic. You guys really should go see him when he's in your town. Is you're such a good stand up comedian. It's so fun. You're so fun to watch.

[Jim Brewer]

Very animated, very storytelling. Yeah, very storytelling.

[Christina P]

Very storytelling. Just also you've got your YouTube channel.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

And that's another reason, like I'll tore it out and I take a year and a half off and I work on new production stuff which I never got to do before by myself.

[Christina P]

Isn't that great that like you don't even like need the establishment? Like you can just do what you want to do now.

[Jim Brewer]

I love it, love it. Like nobody tells you what to do.

[Christina P]

Nobody tells you anything. Good for you. Good for you. That's so empowering. It's so empowering.

[Jim Brewer]

I look at establishment, I go,

[Christina P]

do you. Are you familiar with Tick Tock? Are you on there?

[Jim Brewer]

Yes, I got. Yes, you got. They. You got it took me down.

[Christina P]

Oh, they do that to me a lot. You have to just fight.

[Jim Brewer]

I didn't know what was going on.

[Christina P]

You got to fight the law because you know why? It's run by the Chinese. But it's also, it's Squaresville. These fucking dorks on there will report you if you make fun of stuff or what. It'll be like, oh, mean language, hate language. I'm like, it's called comedy, you stupid piece of shit.

[Jim Brewer]

I still don't know what happened. I don't, I don't know.

[Christina P]

Are you off permanently or just in one fraction?

[Jim Brewer]

I'd have to talk have your 19

[Christina P]

year old, have your Gen Alpha, whatever

[Jim Brewer]

kid they're working on.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

So I don't know. And then we start a new channel. But yeah, no, I have TikTok, a rumble. I only. I only present on one platform.

[Christina P]

Oh, you're doing the Rumble. That's. That's a real wild frontier, isn't it?

[Jim Brewer]

I again. So I will live stream every Tuesday on rumble everywhere. Oh. 8:30, Easter everywhere. If you have X, you have Facebook, Instagram, whatever. Well, I guess it's not an Instagram for whatever reason. I don't know if it was. But a live stream then take all. They'll take all the clips and they put it everywhere.

[Christina P]

That's awesome.

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

How fun.

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Well, I like to be on TikTok. I like to highlight the marginalized communities. So these are the outliers, people you may not get to see. Okay.

[Jim Brewer]

I love it.

[Christina P]

You got it. Ranking my ex girlfriends. Judy, 5 out of 10. She didn't give me what I wanted. Gloria, 7 out of 10. Made really good comments. Cookies. But snored loudly. Cynthia, 6 out of 10. Smelt bad but had a big butt. Janet, 2 out of 10 strange. And licked me 24. 7. Rosie, 11 out of 10. Sugar mama. You were perfect. And I miss you every day. Wow. I'm shocked that Rosie won this whole thing.

[Jim Brewer]

I'm a little taken back by that too. I wouldn't see Rosie coming in.

[Christina P]

No.

[Jim Brewer]

See more of that. The second one kind of crushing it kind of like a sneaky underground winner.

[Christina P]

Well, and the one that was like, oh, she licks me all the time. You think that that would be something he specifically would be into? He just seems like that kind of a fella.

[Jim Brewer]

He seems like he'd be anything into any kind of attention whatsoever. Even a hello. But maybe that's just my. My judgment.

[Christina P]

Just a hello. Look at Rosie. But she does look like she has a good personality.

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah, those. Look at. She's. She's hanging too.

[Christina P]

Like it's.

[Jim Brewer]

It's going down, bro. You're telling me it's going down. I'm starting to get the chicken neck. But she's got chicken everything. She's chickening it up.

[Christina P]

I know, but you know what the secret is? You got to stay thin. So when you have the chicken skin, you got to stay skinny.

[Jim Brewer]

Yes.

[Christina P]

What the Europeans do. You can't be fat. You just got to stay thin.

[Jim Brewer]

You can't be a fatso.

[Christina P]

No.

[Jim Brewer]

Not only just for your own health, but you never. If you're heavy and you get an Argument. Someone don't like you, you don't realize it, but in their head, you're now a fatso. When you turn on someone, you're like, fatso. Fatso. You're a fatso.

[Christina P]

Gosh, it's like we came full circle.

[Jim Brewer]

Like, fatso. Yeah.

[Christina P]

Would you say fatso?

[Jim Brewer]

Doesn't matter what your credentials.

[Christina P]

You can try me, fatso.

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah, yeah, whatever, fatso. That's it. I just won the argument I just destroyed.

[Christina P]

Do you do Pesci? You do Pesci, don't you?

[Jim Brewer]

I don't. I mean, I used to, yeah. But what happened is I'm doing Pesci and my kids, I'll be out in public and people like, hey, Joe, do Joe Pesci. I'm like, hey, listen, who's doing Joe Pesci? What am I doing Joe Pesci for? Who else is doing Joe Pesci? And my kids will go, who's Joe Pesci?

[Christina P]

Oh, no.

[Jim Brewer]

He talks like this little guy.

[Christina P]

Home Alone.

[Jim Brewer]

Home alone. He's at home alone. You don't remember Home Alone? Are you serious, Henry?

[Christina P]

Oh, there you go, Henry.

[Jim Brewer]

I'm trying to bang this broad. Help me out.

[Christina P]

That's it.

[Jim Brewer]

I'm trying to help.

[Christina P]

That's it.

[Jim Brewer]

I'm always there for you, Henry. You don't help me out. And then he says, get the fuck out of here, Tommy.

[Christina P]

Get the fuck out of here, Tommy.

[Jim Brewer]

Get the fuck out of here, Tommy. Karen. Oh, sorry. Resting. Because they want to go to jail, Karen.

[Christina P]

It's so good. My favorite line, though, is when he goes, and I'm gonna come back. You can try me, fatso. Remember, he says that. What's the line?

[Jim Brewer]

Yes. It's such a powerful word, Fatso.

[Christina P]

Yeah, you try me, fatso. Okay.

[Jim Brewer]

Me fatso.

[Christina P]

You got it. Okay, I'm just gonna show you two more, and then you gotta go because you gotta go see our friend Joseph.

[Jim Brewer]

Yes.

[Christina P]

Okay. Two more and then I'm gonna let you free, haircut. Here's how you cut your hair on the road. I know you're on your bus. $20 never pay for a haircut again. Just do this. What do you think? $20. It's Australian dollars. Look at it. Looks great.

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah. I look like I'm ready to join Oasis. Do I come back to her?

[Christina P]

It looks awesome.

[Jim Brewer]

Perfect. Go out there, fight some wallabies. Go out there and find me one of them puffers. I ain't afraid of them. Little size up on me. See what happens with my new haircut. I'm feeling it. Now, come on, you jumpy penguin.

[Christina P]

I love it. You could kind of do that if you mash down your bangs, don't you?

[Jim Brewer]

I'm gonna let my bangs grow a little longer.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Jim Brewer]

And then I'm gonna do that because

[Christina P]

I like that it looks so t you, bro.

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah. You're gonna have to know jiu jitsu with a haircut like that, though, because there's only so many comments you could take after three pints. You're like, what you saw, you find. Hit it with your mouth.

[Christina P]

But don't you feel like there's an age where you don't give a and your levels of it and people just be like, yeah, but he's crazy. He's old. Just let him do it.

[Jim Brewer]

That's where I'm at. That's just why I walk in and farting at the same time.

[Christina P]

That's why I'm wearing a Bauhaus shirt. I'm dressed like a vampire. I don't give a. I got sweatpants on now.

[Jim Brewer]

In the past, I'd be like, like, okay, it's just her. So I could. All right. I want her to be impressed. I'll wear a button up shirt.

[Christina P]

Not anymore, bro.

[Jim Brewer]

Do I have stains on here? I don't even know.

[Christina P]

Try me. Okay, one last one, fatsos. We're gonna let you go, fatso.

[Jim Brewer]

Oh, my God. Look at this. Fatso. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.

[Christina P]

Crab. You like crab, right?

[Jim Brewer]

Oh, my.

[Christina P]

I think that's imitation. That's not the real.

[Jim Brewer]

Probably helping you weight. What is she? Is she. Is she laying down or sitting up?

[Christina P]

That's always a good question. It does look yummy. It looks fresh at least. And she can mash it up with her. With her teeth. Not teeth. No, that's imitation, right?

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah, she gave up a long time ago. A long time ago.

[Christina P]

She's sitting because I can see the curtains behind her.

[Jim Brewer]

Wow. That's someone's grandmother right now.

[Christina P]

All right. Would you rather.

[Jim Brewer]

Jim, how much money Would I rather what?

[Christina P]

Hold on. Oh, another piece. I know. I'm thinking that's real crab.

[Jim Brewer]

That could be.

[Christina P]

It might be real.

[Jim Brewer]

Yeah. No, it could be.

[Christina P]

Would you.

[Jim Brewer]

That looks like a watermelon.

[Christina P]

You have to live with her for a week. Okay. Or mouth. Just mouth kiss, not tongue. One of the gay guys with the bras.

[Jim Brewer]

I'm going her.

[Christina P]

Thank you said enough.

[Jim Brewer]

I'll figure it out.

[Christina P]

Enough said.

[Jim Brewer]

All right. Figure it out.

[Christina P]

Jim Brewer, I love you so much. Thank you for coming.

[Jim Brewer]

I wish I had way more time I love you.

[Christina P]

You're just. Will you come back again?

[Jim Brewer]

That would be awesome. If you let me. Yeah, of course. I could hang out here forever.

[Christina P]

Oh, my God. You're absolutely the best. And Tom would love you. And we're gonna have fun. Next time. Have a great time on your tour. Go see Jim Brewer now. He's not gonna do this forever, you guys. He's coming to your town. Tickets for Find the Funny tour@jim brewer.com and check out his YouTube.

[Jim Brewer]

It's such a pleasure meeting you.

[Christina P]

Oh, Don, I love you. Okay, I'll feed the I love you.

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