It's An Austrian Painter Summer! | Your Mom's House Ep. 816

Summary

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura – Episode 816: "It's An Austrian Painter Summer!"

Release Date: June 25, 2025

In Episode 816 of Your Mom's House, hosts Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura dive into their annual summer tradition of watching intense historical documentaries, discuss Christina's foray into the art world, and sprinkle their trademark humor throughout the conversation. Here's a detailed breakdown of the episode's key discussions, insights, and comedic moments.

---

1. Summer Traditions: War Documentaries

Timestamp: 01:04 - 06:24

Tom kicks off the episode by sharing his recurring summer ritual: immersing himself in World War II documentaries. Christina teases Tom about his obsession, dubbing it an "officially Hitler summer," highlighting his deep dive into the subject every year.

Christina Pazsitzky (01:07): "But it is now officially a Hitler summer because you've been watching your Hitley docs in bed."

Tom explains his fascination with the myriad stories within WWII, emphasizing the complexity and intricacies that often go unnoticed.

Tom Segura (02:17): "There’s just so much that goes on. Like you think you know a story and then you forget, like, just how. How many different little stories are in something like World War II. It’s just fascinating."

2. In-Depth Discussion on WWII Events

Timestamp: 07:02 - 11:02

The conversation shifts to specific WWII events, with Tom detailing the strategic bombings of Hamburg aimed at compelling Germany's surrender. Christina muses over her father's travel recommendations based on whether cities were bombed during the war, underscoring the lasting impact of WWII on modern European architecture and culture.

Christina Pazsitzky (08:15): "My father will tell people where to visit in Europe dependent upon whether or not Hitler bombed it during World War II."

Tom shares insights from a Bin Laden documentary, highlighting the meticulous tracking and clandestine operations that led to Bin Laden's capture, showcasing his appreciation for high-stakes military strategies.

Tom Segura (04:54): "He was a great friend to Mussolini and I just want it to be out there. You know, there’s just something about having an outdoor space that actually feels like it’s yours."

3. Adolf Hitler's Personal Traits

Timestamp: 13:00 - 14:05

In a humorous twist, Christina and Tom explore lesser-discussed aspects of Adolf Hitler, particularly his personable traits and friendships. They jest about the rarely seen candid photos of Hitler, portraying him as unexpectedly friendly.

Tom Segura (13:23): "The guy’s having the time of his life."

Christina Pazsitzky (13:40): "He was a great friend."

Their playful banter sheds light on their unique approach to discussing historical figures with a comedic lens.

4. Christina’s Art and Adrien Brody's Influence

Timestamp: 24:27 - 27:32

Shifting gears, Christina introduces her latest venture into the art world, inspired by Adrien Brody's success in selling artwork. She unveils her first original piece titled "Around and Find Out," a cat depicted with deep personal significance relating to her battle with breast cancer.

Christina Pazsitzky (24:54): "This one's my original. We jump straight to the price. This one is about my struggle with breast cancer and this difficult year that I've had with my mortality and existence."

Tom supports Christina's endeavor, humorously commenting on the piece's potential value and aesthetic appeal.

Tom Segura (25:37): "10 grand. Where can they buy it?"

Christina elaborates on her artistic process, highlighting the emotional depth and craftsmanship invested in her work.

Christina Pazsitzky (26:04): "How long did it take? 6 hours. Days of me thinking about color scheme and like, look how I look at the bottom, bro. You see how like, the fur looks all soft?"

The discussion underscores Christina's resilience and creative expression through art, resonating with listeners who appreciate personal storytelling intertwined with artistic endeavors.

5. Comedic Interludes and Call Segments

Timestamp: 35:23 - 58:30

Throughout the episode, Christina and Tom intersperse their conversation with humorous segments, including mock phone calls and exaggerated scenarios. These interludes showcase their comedic chemistry and ability to blend humor with topical discussions.

One notable segment involves a fictitious call where Tom humorously narrates a disastrous phone conversation, blending absurdity with sharp wit.

Tom Segura (15:24): "You ate her ass."

Christina Pazsitzky (15:45): "He proposed that to a 14-year-old."

These playful exchanges maintain the episode's lively pace, keeping listeners engaged with their unique humor.

6. Reflections on Parenting and Free-Rein Education

Timestamp: 62:01 - 65:16

Towards the end, Christina and Tom delve into conversations about parenting styles, advocating for a rules-free approach. They discuss the benefits and challenges of allowing children total freedom to explore their interests, referencing practical skills and self-directed learning.

Christina Pazsitzky (62:44): "If I'm interested in woodworking, then I'm going to woodwork, you know, If I'm interested in a video game, I'm going to play that video game, you know, whatever I want to do, I can do."

Tom adds his perspective, balancing the concept with the necessity for boundaries to ensure children's well-being.

Tom Segura (64:57): "They have total freedom too, you know, anything from jumping on the trampoline at 2 in the morning to staying up late, you know, how late do the kids go to bed sometimes?"

Their dialogue offers listeners a blend of personal anecdotes and philosophical musings on modern parenting challenges.

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Conclusion

Episode 816 of Your Mom's House masterfully combines historical insights, personal storytelling, and relentless humor. Christina and Tom navigate through intense topics like WWII with ease, while also sharing intimate aspects of Christina's artistic journey. Their ability to juxtapose serious discussions with comedic interludes makes for an engaging and multifaceted listening experience. Whether you're a history enthusiast, art supporter, or just in it for the laughs, this episode delivers on all fronts.

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Notable Quotes:

• Christina Pazsitzky (01:07): "But it is now officially a Hitler summer because you've been watching your Hitley docs in bed."

• Tom Segura (02:17): "There’s just so much that goes on. Like you think you know a story and then you forget, like, just how. How many different little stories are in something like World War II. It’s just fascinating."

• Tom Segura (13:23): "The guy’s having the time of his life."

• Christina Pazsitzky (24:54): "This one is about my struggle with breast cancer and this difficult year that I've had with my mortality and existence."

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For more episodes and updates, visit Your Mom's House YouTube Channel.

Transcript

[Tom Segura]

South Carolina and Georgia. I'm bringing my Come Together tour to Peace Concert hall in Greenville, South Carolina on August 28th. And I'll be in Athens, Georgia on Friday, August 29th at the Classic Center Theater and in Evans, Georgia on August 31st at Columbia County Performing Arts Center. Get your tickets [e-mail] tour. Well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. You know that one friend who somehow knows everything about money? Yeah. Now imagine they live in your phone. Say hey to Experian, your big financial friend. It's the app that helps you check your FICO score, find ways to save.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And basically feel like a financial genius.

[Tom Segura]

And guess what?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's totally free. So go on, download the Experian app.

[Tom Segura]

Trust me, having a BFF like this is a total game changer. Oh, yeah?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. Speaking of.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I don't know what this is with you.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

But it is now officially a Hitler summer because you've been watching your Hitley docs in bed.

[Tom Segura]

I love Jewish people, but I also love Nazis. Go ahead.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You. You do this every summer. Heather pointed this out.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That every summer you get into Hitler and World War II and you go down this rabbit hole. What is it about Joy and summer? I like his name, to be honest. Hitler. What is it about summertime?

[Tom Segura]

Summertime is wartime. You know, I was just going through the library of options and I just got a little, Little tickle for some World War II stuff. So I started the World War II doc series. It's a six episode series, I think, in color, which is always exciting.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You know, there's just so much that goes on. Like you think you know a story and then you forget, like, just how. How many different little stories are in something like World War II. It's just fascinating. So I just. Yeah, I jump into it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

But what about the idea of something summer and freedom and good weather and, you know, lightning bugs and barbecues and boats makes you go World War II?

[Tom Segura]

I don't know. I think I cycle in and out of war docs, though.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Like, I haven't seen one in a while, so I was like, kind of time for a refresher because where were you before?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm trying to remember. Were you into Pearl Harbor? What. What were you interested in?

[Tom Segura]

What last time, like, prior to World War II? Oh, I was just watching. I mean, I watched a few docs. I watched the Tylenol one, I watched the Bin Laden one.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, that's where you were? The Middle East? Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So it could have been a Bin Laden summer.

[Tom Segura]

But you know, the bin Laden doc was fantastic. But that's only three episodes. Like, once you get into it, you know, it's really good. I mean, they had, they got really incredible people to do that, like to agree to be on the dock, you know.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Really? Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

The former CIA director Leon Panetta, A bunch of high ranking people that were, including the person that planned the raid, the commander, the naval commander, some people from Seal Team 6 were in it and just. Yeah, like a lot of high ranking people talking about that whole basically journey of tracking him and, and everything that was behind the scenes, you know, of like how they figured out. I mean, I know people kind of know, you know, the courier was the, was the, the connection to figuring it out. But having them lay it out and, and when you see how long it takes. That's the thing about these, you know, clandestine operations. It's like they have to be so patient and they just, you're tracking. They had to track this guy for like thousands of, you know, I mean, like he's in one country going through all this terrain, switching vehicles, switching hands and like track and track, and then he just ends up in Pakistan in, what is it? Abadabad.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Abadabad.

[Tom Segura]

And they, they just see this house and like, this house is weird, man. Like it has 15 foot walls. And you know, then they like, are figuring out who, like how many people live there. They're looking at the trash that they, and they burn the trash and they're watching people come in and out and then they figure out that they're like, oh no. They thought two families live there. They're like, there's a third family that lives here and they live on this like, level. And then they're using satellites to, you know, to see what they can. And.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It looks really good.

[Tom Segura]

It's pretty cool.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's a cool room that he was chilling.

[Tom Segura]

But this satellite imagery just had this, this guy that would pace every day, you know, and they had to use, I forget what it's called when you use. They see the image and the, and the shadow that he casts. And then they figured out that by the shadow that this, that this individual, because they couldn't see him head on, was the same height. He was a tall, he was a tall guy. Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wow. So you're saying is bin Laden is longer than a summer. World War II, you could figure that war out in a summer?

[Tom Segura]

No, the opposite.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh no, Bin Laden is longer than a summer.

[Tom Segura]

Bin Laden's a quick watch.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh. So it should have been a Bin Laden summer.

[Tom Segura]

Well, no, because I. You need more. Bin Laden's a weekend watch.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, even less.

[Tom Segura]

World War II is a. That's a.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's a full time.

[Tom Segura]

It's a full time job.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

All right. Sorry.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I'm gonna wrap up this one probably tonight. Then I'm start another World War II document which.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What do you got your paws on?

[Tom Segura]

I don't know yet. I'm looking at. There's a lot of options. Might do Vietnam too. I don't know.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You do cycle into Vietnam eventually. In summertime, it's a warm climate. That was a jungle war. That makes sense for you. Yeah, see, that would make more sense. Vietnam, summer, World War II, winter.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, I see what you mean, because. So you're saying maybe save this next World War II doc for the holidays.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's what I'm tired.

[Tom Segura]

Like Thanksgiving, Christmas.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Tom Segura]

Hey, boys, gather around. We're gonna watch a documentary about Stalingrad.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. When your mother's around, your sister's a fam.

[Tom Segura]

My dad could sit and watch that for weeks on end in a row. Wake up. Watch it. Sit down. Watch this right here. These tanks, these guys. See, these tanks didn't actually have all the right rudders on them. You just kind of mumble it to it and you're like, cool, Cool, man.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Loved it.

[Tom Segura]

You'd walk in six hours later and you just hear machine guns going off. Like you're still watching. Oh, yeah, yeah. Pretty. Pretty neat.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. And he's laying there in his chonies. I know exactly what you're talking about. That house.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, but you, you watch these things. I didn't. Like, I had no idea that in, you know, they were trying to get Germany obviously to surrender, that at one point they gave the directive to the British and American troops, just bomb Hamburg and kill civilians.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They're so desperate, I think.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, they're years into the war and then they're like, just destroy Hamburg. I didn't know that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I don't. There's so many details.

[Tom Segura]

That's what I'm saying.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

How would you know that, Tom?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, I know.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Don't beat yourself.

[Tom Segura]

And here's the craziest thing. They bombed the out of Hamburg. I mean, this place was pretty much destroyed. And then they had all survivors go into like, I guess like a postal service building operation. And then the Brits were like, bomb that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, my God. To kill all the civilians just to get her done. To really put some fear in Hitler's heart.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. And then Hitley was like.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Do you know what's so funny? So my father will tell people where to visit in Europe dependent upon whether or not Hitler bombed it during World War II.

[Tom Segura]

That's where to visit.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, no, meaning if Hitler didn't bomb it, it's a nicer European city.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, that's right.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And that's just true because Hitler didn't, you know, tear it all to pieces.

[Tom Segura]

Right.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So you have like the original European buildings and such that you can actually see.

[Tom Segura]

The other interesting thing about this doc is they have a lot of like super old people that fought in the war in it, you know?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Super old people. Oh, that's cool. They're still around.

[Tom Segura]

They're still around. And you hear them talk about like, it's just interesting. Like some guy who's like, I hated the Americans.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I want to hear that. I like that. Yeah, know, he's like, that's so annoying with their McDonald's. They're so loud in the subways.

[Tom Segura]

And then, and then the. Whenever they have the American on, It's like a 87 year old guy, he's like, so we, we stormed that beach and there's Japs everywhere. And he's like, only a handful of Japs left when we left. Nice. Real nice.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, I know. It's so. It's so funny because now they don't even. They try not to. Well, the idea being like, we have drones that do the killing for us. So we don't have.

[Tom Segura]

That type of war will never happen again. Really.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I hope. I mean, look. No, none of it's great.

[Tom Segura]

No, of course not.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

My goodness.

[Tom Segura]

These. These people were just. Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Traumatized. These men were so traumatized.

[Tom Segura]

When you see footage, like one thing you don't think about is when there's a war at sea and you're on an aircraft carrier, you didn't think about this until you're actually watching this. Cause someone will have a camera on deck. There's planes approaching, firing. And the guys that work on the deck just hit the deck. They just lay on the deck and then fucking. A plane flies over that's firing bombs and shooting machine guns at it. You're like, holy shit. Then they just pop up and they just run around. Yeah, it's really crazy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You just hope that you don't get hit.

[Tom Segura]

All of them were like, I'm probably gonna die today.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's wild.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

How do you even. I don't know how they sleep at night, how they function because you just.

[Tom Segura]

Train, train, train until you're Just like, I'm a war machine. I'm a killing machine.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

There's a scene in the show, the new look was about Coco Chanel and Christian Dior and how they navigated World War II. And it's a great. The idea being you think you would do differently or be a better person, but really, would you if you're just trying to survive?

[Tom Segura]

That's the thing. It's all about survival for most people.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Right. It's a great moral question. And at one point, Coco Chanel is meeting with some intel guy and some German or whatever, and she's literally. She's in Paris, and she's standing there, and she's like, do I have to be here? The bombs are falling right behind me. And she's literally like, I'm Coco Chanel.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And I'm standing in Paris, and right behind me, the bombs are falling, and she's, like, standing nervously waiting for this guy to come meet her. And you're like, that's how it was. People are just like, yeah, they're just bombing some shit behind me right now.

[Tom Segura]

You know what nobody ever talks about, though, with Hitley?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What's that? Good.

[Tom Segura]

He was a great friend.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He was a great friend.

[Tom Segura]

Animals to people, to Mussolini. Nobody talks about it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, that's true.

[Tom Segura]

We learned that because I'm watching the doc, right? And when the Italians are just done with Mussolini, they're like, we're done with this. Fuck, yeah. And they start just, like, rioting and going crazy. Guess what Hitley does? What? He sends a plane to pick up Mussolini because he's worried sick about him. He's worried sick about.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He's like, get in, loser.

[Tom Segura]

He's like, get in here. And he fly and he. And then he greets him. He gets off, and he's like, you okay? Yeah, I swear.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Just a couple of bros. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And I. Here's the thing. Say what you want about Hitler, but you can't say he was a bad friend to his friends. You know, there's just something about having an outdoor space that actually feels like it's yours. I've been spending more time outside lately, especially with the weather warming up, And I realized, why not make my backyard a little escape? I wanted it to feel cozy, stylish, and a bit like that resort you never wanted to leave. And honestly, Wayfair made it ridiculously easy. They've got everything. Patio sets, lounge chairs, outdoor bars, even hot tubs and gazebos. You name it. I got inspired just scrolling through all the possibilities, and next thing you know, I'm ordering string lights and. And eyeing a fireplace.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Can I tell you, I just got our chairs from Wayfair. The ones in the backyard that we have. They're fantastic.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, they have so many options. And Wafer has something for every style and budget from hot tubs to chase lounges. Even the big stuff ships free. Surprised to find everything from pool floats to planters. Total one stop shop, don't wait. Make your outdoor space your dream oasis today with Wayfair. Enjoy it all summer long. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop a huge outdoor selection. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair. Every style, every home.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Not to be nitpicky, but it's a chaise lounge.

[Tom Segura]

Listen, listen. Just.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Now you listen.

[Tom Segura]

You stop.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I like a Chez, not a Chase gringo. And they both have an aesthetic scent. They share an aesthetic sensibility here.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah. No one ever talks about. The guy had a great smile.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Hitler.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Did he have nice teeth?

[Tom Segura]

I don't know about that, but it's just a beautiful smile.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Sure, his eyes really lit up when he smiled.

[Tom Segura]

How can we never see these shots?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, look at it.

[Tom Segura]

Look at that. Guy's having the time of his life.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Just goofing around with his friends.

[Tom Segura]

How about some. A little more photos like this? That's the guy I remember. You know what I mean?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Hello. He's just saying hi.

[Tom Segura]

Hey, Hello. Hi, Vigates. How's everyone doing? He's just waving, loving.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, yeah, it's a Hitler summer for him, too.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, they always show that photo. Yeah, the stern. Yeah, it's like, oh, that's how you got to remember him. You gotta remember them like. But here's the real guy, you know.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I get it, Tom. I get it.

[Tom Segura]

But again, great friend to Mussolini and I just want it to be out there. All right, here, your opening clip. Are you ready?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I need a pen. When you have a chance, Josh.

[Tom Segura]

What would have happened had there been a 14 year old girl here, Tim, And. And not me or the Pope County Sheriff's office? Well, you'd have ate her ass.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, my God, Randy.

[Tom Segura]

Don't bring one mother into this.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He did not say that.

[Tom Segura]

Well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Zina.

[Tom Segura]

Welcome to your mom's house.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

M. Did you eat her ass?

[Tom Segura]

You ate her ass.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He did not straight up say he said that.

[Tom Segura]

And then I like how the guy goes.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Like, would I?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, he's thinking it for sure. Polk County Sheriff's Office. Well, you'd ate her ass. I don't know. Yeah, it's possible. I mean, it is what I proposed as the idea.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He proposed that to a 14 year old.

[Tom Segura]

Well, I mean, I'm deducing that from the conversation.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, me too. That's really wild for a 14 year old to be on board with. Wow. I didn't know.

[Tom Segura]

Well, it's not that. It's a. Somebody posing as a 14 year old.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Right. All right.

[Tom Segura]

That's how they got him.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, that's how they got him, Tom.

[Tom Segura]

Somebody was like, come on over. I'm watching a movie. He's like, how about I come over and eat your ass? She's like, oh, I've never done that. And then you show up and it's Chris Hansen.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Do you think the chats with these are like Keanu AI where you're like, wow, this chick's really overly cool. Like, this 14 year old knows what AC eating.

[Tom Segura]

I mean, probably your reptilian brain takes over and you're just like, cool. This is the one I've been looking for. Yeah, I'm sure that they. When they look back on it, they're probably like, oh, yeah, this is not. I got. I got caught.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, I got bamboozled here.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. There's no 14 year olds, like, trying to get my ass eaten today. What are you doing?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, yeah. He's like, what you doing, girl? Just trying to get my ass eaten.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. And he's like, funny enough. I'm into eating ass, so if you want. What a coincidence.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, yeah. He looks like he likes 14 year olds. They always look the part.

[Tom Segura]

Fill all my holes with your delicious.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Man spread and want to overflow your love juice from my orifices like a broken toilet.

[Tom Segura]

Canoe. Do you need money?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Ding, ding, ding. A lot, man.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, cool.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Do that again.

[Tom Segura]

I bet I'm coming up in May. You so got me sweating like. Like to black Keanu.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He's so worked up today.

[Tom Segura]

Keanu Reeves is doing this. Everyone thought he was a good guy. You're welcome to spit on me. Slap me yours today, because that's what I am.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wow. Wow.

[Tom Segura]

I need to get a lot, man. It's so crazy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I didn't know he was like this.

[Tom Segura]

I didn't know this either, man. Tom and Christina, you are both so hilarious and attractive. My racially ambiguous hog is throbbing for your comedy. Oh, my God.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wow. I didn't know he was such a fan.

[Tom Segura]

I didn't know that either. Tom, your thick Peruvian is so vascular, it makes me salivate like a dog hungry for a brain.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

Jesus.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wow. Keanu.

[Tom Segura]

Keanu is really just a dirt dog, dude.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He's so horny. I had no idea.

[Tom Segura]

And he's broken.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's the crazy, crazy.

[Tom Segura]

It's probably made $400 million.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Where did those dollars go?

[Tom Segura]

Just to fucking cool people.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You got to send him bitcoin.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Here's the thing. You cannot wire me US dollar. That. That had to been the best part. She's like, I guess I can send you. He's like, no, no. Go get some bitcoin first. So then give me that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So random.

[Tom Segura]

Why? Because it's just legal shit. God, I'm in a fucking bind. Can you just get some bitcoin? You realize who. That woman had zero idea how to get bitcoin. I don' I'm saying, like, that lady had to be like, I need bitcoin today.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. She's like, go to 711 and get Bitcoin.

[Tom Segura]

How do I buy it?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I would have no idea.

[Tom Segura]

Then he walked her through it. It was like, go here. Go to this site. Register this. Don't put too much information. And then. Yeah. And send me that code. And then. Yeah, then you'll help me get out of this bind I'm in. Oh, anything. Yeah. I'm trying to help Keanu Reeves out. A ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

We need that as a drop.

[Tom Segura]

That's just. We have it, I think.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Ding, ding.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What a dummy.

[Tom Segura]

Jesus.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Ding, ding, ding.

[Tom Segura]

So stupid.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Ding, ding, ding.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Hey, Mommy, show me how those big tits fart. Wow. He knows your thing.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What the hell?

[Tom Segura]

God.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Can it.

[Tom Segura]

Wow, Mommy, you are so funny and talented and creative. Nice and beautiful and physically attractive to me.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Do you know what I like? At the end of that, he got real sultry. He was so attracted to me.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Well, he says something about you being creative and funny enough. You have some creative things.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes. So I wanted to bring to light Josh Zolo. Thank you so much for pointing this out. That Adrien Brody, the actor, has been selling his artwork to the public. And let me tell you, he's been crushing it.

[Tom Segura]

Crushing it. And the reviews from the art world are pretty rough.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, they don't know good art when they see it. That's the problem. Yeah. It says the actor's art gets brutalized.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

In a review. Well, who's.

[Tom Segura]

Well, but I. I saw some other art. You know, world people, they were saying that it is absolutely horrendous and hideous. Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Let me see. Let's see what he's got Alex Greenberger of Art News says it's bad.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, so it looks like pop art. Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Like deco. Pos if you're listening to this. So it.

[Tom Segura]

It's 425 grand.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I mean, this is great. So he sold this. It looks like a collage, and then Marilyn Monroe's in the middle, the Hollywood sign in the background. It's just like a collage of different Maryland.

[Tom Segura]

Well, I will say this, though, just to be fair to this right now, because I didn't realize this when I heard his art had sold for that much. The looks like the amount that one sold for. Almost 425, 000. It's for a benefit and includes a lunch with him. Oh, so that's.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

But I'm saying that's somebody who's.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

Who's doing that to. Also, it's to contribute to whatever the benefit is. It's not just somebody going, I want to buy this r. For this much money.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I agree. I. I see what you're saying.

[Tom Segura]

It's a little different.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I see what you're saying. The. The intent is different. But do we have any other of his. Any more of his work that we can critique and sort of look at? Because.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, let's look at some.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I agree that that particular piece I feel like we've seen in galleries before. Yeah, it's a little. Been done. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

It's pop art.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's pop art. He's collaging like Betty Boop. Is that like a bank?

[Tom Segura]

It's not. It's not that, like, notably. It's just. You've seen it, like you said. Yeah. You've seen it. I. I have a. I have a piece of art like that from a gallery when we were on. On the road, but it hangs in a garage.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Really?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's just like a fun. They're like, fun things. I.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know, but he's not selling all of these and giving it to charity. He is profiting. Right. I'm assuming not all of these are for charity. I like the Bugs Bunny one.

[Tom Segura]

No idea.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I think he's fine. I think it's fine.

[Tom Segura]

Adrian, Buddy's art is horrendous.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, gosh, you guys.

[Tom Segura]

Why are people pretending it isn't?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, I don't think it's horrendous. I don't think it's no different than the. That is in galleries now. What's the diff? I think they don't like him.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I don't know.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know either.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Listen, the point is, seeing Adrian Brody's.

[Tom Segura]

I wonder what these. Can you see what they're listed for at this gallery? At the Eden Gallery, whatever that is. I cannot imagine they're listing these for six figures. That's so insane.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So good.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that would be really crazy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

People brutally mock Adrian Brody's art. Yeah. What is that, bro? Ducks, bro. So he made, like, a Starbucks symbol, but he called it Brodux, which isn't even like. Like, it's like, Banksy is clever with his stuff. Right? Like, it's funny.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah, no, that's.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

His stuff's really cool. 22,000.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's. That's, like, more in line with what that kind of stuff would go for probably, like, in the teens. And, you know, part of that's his name. And I. I think that one that everyone keeps citing is really. Because it was for a benefit, you know?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So they just made the price real crazy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That was. Oh, wow, look at this.

[Tom Segura]

Sold a lot, so. But see, that's had a gala. Like, that's. That's not.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, that's for charity. Wow. Okay, so this. This is really interesting. That's in line with what I'm gonna propose here in a moment.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Tell me what you're doing.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So, in light of, you know, Adrien Brody's success, I was thinking I'm gonna start putting my art up for sale. And, like, I want to sell the original piece. And I've been working on something for a while.

[Tom Segura]

I need money. I am drowning in legal troubles that I cannot elaborate on right now. Please send me money. Okay. Send you my love. Yes.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So I've. I've. This is my first piece that I'm going to be putting out there for sale in light of Adrian Brody.

[Tom Segura]

Is that Adrian's or yours?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, this one's mine.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, that's yours. Okay.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

This one's my original.

[Tom Segura]

That feels Adrian like.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What the are you talking about? I. I did that with my hand. That's oil pastels. With my hands.

[Tom Segura]

I'm saying, like, I could see this in a gall.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay, as long as you mean it like that.

[Tom Segura]

I mean it as a compliment. No, I mean, it is a compliment.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, yes.

[Tom Segura]

There a list price for the original.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

For the original. Well, first, let me tell you a little bit about this piece.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, right.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

We jump straight to the price.

[Tom Segura]

That's really. That was tacky of me. I'm sorry.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I just want this. I want the con, the context. You know, every great piece of art has A story. Okay. This one is about my struggle. Oh. I struggle with breast cancer and this difficult year that I've had with my mortality and existence. And that's why I've made this piece of art. It's called around and Find Out.

[Tom Segura]

That's what this is called?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes. And it's a cat. And he's not playing games. So I'm going to be selling this original piece. Are you ready?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

10,000 U.S. wow. Not Bitcoin. U.S. dollars.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. 10 grand.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

10 grand.

[Tom Segura]

Where can they buy it?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Where are we going to post this, Josh? I think on the Y store. Store. Y studios dot com.

[Tom Segura]

Let's see if that. Actually, Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I need to get in on this Adrien Brody business plan. I'm going to do this first. Let's see if it.

[Tom Segura]

Well, can people buy prints who can't afford the.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

We'll see. I don't know yet. I may just sell the original. And.

[Tom Segura]

And that's it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

The response was great. Then I may. I. I may sell the prints. Limited run.

[Tom Segura]

10 grand.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Seems reasonable to me.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It seems totally reasonable. You know how much work went into this cat?

[Tom Segura]

How long did it take?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

6 hours. Days of me thinking about color scheme and like, look how I look at the bottom, bro. You see how like, the fur looks all soft? And I did that, bro.

[Tom Segura]

It looks great. It really does look cool. Yeah, it's really cool.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

This cat's a killer, dude.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm super stoked about it. And ten grand. I feel like you could own this. Put this in your house, frame it, whatever you. You know.

[Tom Segura]

Very cool.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. It'll just bring joy.

[Tom Segura]

Get in here and suck us up. Nasty flip ass. Hey. Get it. Hey. Get up in here and suck us up. Head monster. Gobble ass. Head mustard. Gobbling ass. Sea creature. Se Crawling ass.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

See, this is the type of misogyny that my artwork addresses.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know, like in addition to being cancer survivor mother, Eastern European immigrant, it's also about misogyny and patriarchy and all that stuff too.

[Tom Segura]

He's so aggressive, this guy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, it's. It's a lot. Bam.

[Tom Segura]

It's. Yeah, you suck us up. You see Creature ass. Like, it's really cuz.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's the woman that likes to be demeaned a lot, I guess.

[Tom Segura]

Or maybe she's. I don't know if she likes it. She's just used to it. You know what I mean? Get in here and suck us up.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

She's like. That sounds pretty inviting.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. I mean, sea creature. Sea Crawling ass. A sea creature. Sea Crawling ass bitch.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's for somebody who was abused a lot.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And then they're like.

[Tom Segura]

Who's just like. That's. That feels. That feels right. Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

God, I think about this all the time. If I might just compliment you. Yeah, don't compliment that.

[Tom Segura]

Don't compliment that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

But, like, I really should have ended up with a monster.

[Tom Segura]

Don't compliment that. Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Not you.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Do you know what I mean? I know I should have been with a real psycho.

[Tom Segura]

Like.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

These two.

[Tom Segura]

Even that bit didn't really make sense.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No.

[Tom Segura]

Because she. He's supposed to be serving her.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Right.

[Tom Segura]

And then she says, my lord, to the servant, right?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Like, don't call me m' lady. Call me my lord.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, is that what she said?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm the man in this relationship. I think, because he's being so emasculated in social media. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Oh. Oh, I see what you're saying.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So she's like.

[Tom Segura]

She's saying, call me, my love. Okay. I was like, what? Go inside and do your mommy and wife thing. Stop trying to be famous. That's what the comment was from, what, a Clarissa 20?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I mean, look, do I like that they're trying to make fun of themselves? Yeah, I think that's really cool. It's good. They just need help. Like, they should have a comedian help.

[Tom Segura]

Them out a little. Yeah, yeah, I agree.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Call. Like, who's good at these? You know?

[Tom Segura]

Did we talk about watching Star Randy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Furlan's good at, like.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, she is.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You should contact her.

[Tom Segura]

Star wars with the boys.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Segura]

So they've been doing this thing, by the way, I don't know if other people have the same experience where whenever you propose, let's watch this new thing that you haven't seen. They're like, absolutely not. So, like, when. Harry Potter, like, a couple of years ago, I was like, let's watch Harry Potter. They're like, I don't want to watch that. No way. I hate Harry. Like, I hate him. And you're like, why? They're great movies. And they're like, no. Yeah, I'm not watching that. Same thing with Star Wars. I was like, let's watch Star Wars. They're like, no, no, no, no. I hate Star Wars. You hate Star Wars? I hate it. It's the worst. And you're like, all right. And like, a. Another year would go by and I'd be like, you want my Star Wars? Like, no, no, no, no, no. Star wars is the worst. And you're like, what is going on?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And then finally I'm like, hey, let's watch Star wars, the Original. And Ellis throws this huge thing. He's like, I. I just. I want to watch anything else. I'm like, seriously? He's like, yeah, let's just not even watch something. I go, how about just give it like, 15 minutes? And if you. If you can't. If you don't want to watch it after 15 minutes, I'll. I'll turn it off. I'll find something else. He's like, ugh, fine. A few minutes in, Julian is just like, what is this, Star Wars? He's like, this is Star Wars? I go, yes. And he's like, this is pretty good. I know. And then Ellis is like, well, I've seen all of them. I'm like, wait a minute. You just said it's the worst. He's like, yeah, I watched them all over at my buddy's house. And I'm like. I go, so you've seen these all? He's like, yeah, yeah, I know what this is. I'm like, okay, cool. Can we watch it? He's like, yeah, it's actually really good. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's so crazy.

[Tom Segura]

And then Julian is like, who is that? It's Han Solo. Han Solo? Yeah. He's like, what kind of name is that? Like, I don't know. He lives in outer space. And he's like, han? Yes. What's his last name? Solo Han Solo. I'm like, yes. What's his real name? I'm like, harrison Ford. He's like, oh, what's that? What's that thing he's talking to him like? That's Chewbacca. Chew what? Chewbacca. He's a wookie. What's a wookie? I go, that thing. Who's the other guy? Luke Skywalker. What's his real name? Mark Hamill. Oh, is that his friend? I'm like, I guess. I don't know, dude. Can we watch the movie?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No.

[Tom Segura]

What's happening? Why does he do that? Who's Darth Darth Vader? Darth Vader? Darth Vader? Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

How do you spell that?

[Tom Segura]

I spell it now. You gotta spell it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I can't just watch this.

[Tom Segura]

He's a real bad guy. How is he bad?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, how is he bad?

[Tom Segura]

He's just consumed with evil. What does he do that's evil? I'm like, everything. He hates everybody that's alive. He wants everyone dead. He's like, oh, you know what I would do if I saw Dark. Dark Vader. What? He goes, I'd go, you double bird. Double bird to Darth Vader. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 25 minutes into that movie, I had answered at least 150 questions, and then.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

His mind is really blown that Leia is actually.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Luke's sister. And now I had to explain that do.

[Tom Segura]

Oh. Then we were. Because we watched the original three, and then it's like, so wait, Darth is Luke's dad? Yeah. And he goes, but how is he his dad? He used to be his dad. Well, yeah. I mean, it was Anakin Skywalker. And then he's kind of turned to the dark side of the Force and he's kind of half man, half machine. What? I'm like, I don't know, dude. It's fucking complicated. Can we just watch this fucking movie, please?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's so complicated. Well, look, Star wars is the greatest story ever told.

[Tom Segura]

Well, it's just good and evil.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's fantastic. Well, it's so many layers to it. I mean, it's. It's Oedipal. Right. I think why so many boys love it. It's the idea of killing your father, which is part of the drama of being like a six or seven year old boy. You love your mother, you want to kill your father. You resolve these things in your brain. But I think that's why it really, like, you see that as a kid.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

On a subconscious level, you're like, wow, this is a wild story. The guy's got to kill his own father.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

How do you do that? And then there's the idea of succumbing to the dark side of the force. Well, what is the dark side of the Force? It's the darkness within you. Well, what does that mean? It could be anything. Addictions, bad feelings, low energy behaviors.

[Tom Segura]

George Lucas was amazing.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Was such a good story.

[Tom Segura]

Obsessed with that Eastern philosophy. No, that. What's that? Oh, my God. This, this tale of. I think it's an old Irish. An old Irish tale we studied in college about, like. He was really fascinated with this author. And it was stories of like, you know, Star wars is just like adapting.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You know, a old philosophy story of good versus evil, essentially. It's these same tales. Right. Just retold in a different way. But it was. Oh, Pac Man's calling me.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No way. I think we should answer that.

[Tom Segura]

Really?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. Pac Man Jones.

[Tom Segura]

All right. What's up, man? Hey, when I call, you answer your goddamn phone. I just did. I did. I'm doing a podcast. What's going on what's up? What's up, man? Do you know who I am? The mailman. The little stanker booty mailman looks. Thank you. Booty guy in Cincinnati. Okay. Okay. All right. I like the hat, bro. And the teeth. Oh, yeah. That's who they, baby. Yeah. Who day all the way. You should check out this. Hey, send me a link. I will. I'll send it to you. Hi. Everything. I'm good. How are you doing? I'm good. Yeah? Yeah. You know, I ignore the noise. Yeah, I know there's a lot of. But like up people. Yeah, that's right. For myself, like, why are you. What you talking about? I did what, bro? You got the wrong guy, bro. Wrong guy. That's what I told. You should tell him that I did give him a little game. Oh, yeah, that. Yeah. But I wasn't trying to hurt him. It probably could have gone way differently. I'm glad. You just could have went a little bit worse. Yeah. Yeah. I thought I did pretty good. How are you? How you doing on the links today? We just started. Oh, you just started. All right, cool, man.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

All right.

[Tom Segura]

Call me bro. All right, bro. But yeah, everything's good, man. Everything's good. Hey, what kind of shoes you got on right quick? Let me see. They're running shoes, bro.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Let me see.

[Tom Segura]

Damn, you let me down, bro. Yeah, well, there. Hey, I, I, I bet my boy, I'm like, he got J's on right now. No, I just came from the gym, though, man. I came from the gym. A upset today, bro. I love you. All right. I love you. Love you too, bro. Okay, bye. That was insane.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Insane. He on your shoes, babe.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I know, cuz. They're like. He's like, he's got J's on. He had, he had a bet going.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh.

[Tom Segura]

So I just let him down.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, who was the other fella?

[Tom Segura]

I don't know. I actually, I didn't recognize him, but he had all diamond teeth. It was cool.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, cool. Yeah, dude, that's what you need to get next.

[Tom Segura]

Do you think so?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

100%.

[Tom Segura]

Do you know who that was? Oh, wait, is this the. Yeah. Joseph Campbell.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Campbell.

[Tom Segura]

That's who I was thinking. Thank you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Of course.

[Tom Segura]

So, Joseph Campbell. We, we read about, we did a whole thing about this.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes, of course. Joseph Campbell. It's, it's about mythology, the myths. Sorry. The archetypes. Yes, it's fantastic.

[Tom Segura]

I said Irish, but I think I just got thrown by the name.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I was just reading him. What's the one? I was just reading my memory Is a dog. My brain. What's that guy babe say? My brain is so stupid.

[Tom Segura]

I don't remember.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Brain.

[Tom Segura]

I don't remember.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Nah, Mia's. The. What is his big book, Joseph? The Power of Myth. Yes, Power of Myth. And it talks about the archetypes that exist in life. The father, the mother, the. The maiden. All these are human archetypes that exist.

[Tom Segura]

You know, I gotta find.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's all about that.

[Tom Segura]

We. I remember a while back, Power of Myth. I had found. There's a story out there about Lucas shopping this script. And it's so funny to think of, like, a studio Exec in the 70s reading and being like, a. What a Wookiee?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, it's Chewbacca.

[Tom Segura]

And he's trying to, like, explain. Well, yeah, you know, he's like, this is goofier than man. We're not making this.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And, like, I'm sure, because I'm. It had to have been turned down by so many people.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, for sure. It was too weird. So I remember there's a great story about how Jim Henson got the Muppets on television. It was Brillstein Gray did the show, and he's pitching it to Bernie Brillstein. Jim Henson. And, you know, Henson was just a stoner with puppets.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And they were like, we got. There's some way we can commodify this. We don't know how. And so Henson and Brillstein are in a restaurant. And I think Bernie Brillstein goes, I know what it is. It's Hee Haw with puppets. You know that stupid show, Hee Haw.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And that's it. That's how they pitch stuff in the 70s. Because was so wild back then. Like, he haw. Google Hee Haw. It's the stupidest show you've ever seen. Yeah. It's like hillbillies popping up in cornfields. And, like, it's a sec. It's like.

[Tom Segura]

So that's how he pitched it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, it's Hee Haw with puppets. And I thought, oh, that's so brilliant. That is a really good pitch. See, look at this stupid Two characters. And it's all making fun of, like, Southern people and what do you call a gorilla with an attitude? You know, like. And they're jumping up in cornfields, popping. Yeah. It's like the stupidest. But then laughing was big in the 60s. So this was like, after laughing. I don't know.

[Tom Segura]

You see this guy, by the way, I know you like this.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes, you are.

[Tom Segura]

You are live with me, Ben Hunt. On cnn.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What was he doing?

[Tom Segura]

He farted.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, I missed that. Let me say.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, he farted live on cnn.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes, you are.

[Tom Segura]

You are live with me. Ben Hunt on cnn, idiot.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He knew he was about to go live.

[Tom Segura]

He just beefed.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He crazy.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, he.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He knew he was about to be live.

[Tom Segura]

He did a full le.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, you can't do that on cnn, bro.

[Tom Segura]

And he's like, oh, sorry. Sorry about that. Anyway, let's move on. Like, nah, you need to talk. The whole segment's got to be about your fart down, bro.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And look, the other guy knows. He's like, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

The guy's like, you're live, you beef, dude. The whole world just saw you rip ass her, idiot. Speaking of farting.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I am so excited. So if you're watching, if you're listening to the podcast, today, June 25, the day this is coming out later today, we are debuting finally, Fancy versus Philip. My good friend Philip Franklin Lee, the Michelin star chef who has sushi by scratch. He has pasta bar nadc with Neen Williams, also does the podcast together. Not a damn chance podcast. He's a fantastic, phenomenal chef. So I got him to do a competition with Fancy chef, and it was unbelievable. And I have a quick. I'm just giving you a little sneak peek my beak. Just a sneak peek about from some of what went on that day. It was unbelievable.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wait.

[Tom Segura]

You don't need to see nothing.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You need to mind your business.

[Tom Segura]

Fancy by reaching out to one of his phone numbers.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Insanity.

[Tom Segura]

The glass inspires the dish. It's not about quantity. It's not the glass. Beautiful.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And nice.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Oh, my God. That was unbelievable. That was a dream come true to have the two kind of highest level chefs I know go at it. Just real competition, see who can come up with what. It was really a treat. I feel so, like, was unbelievable. The full cut is just incredible. I mean, the tension in the room, these guys going at it back and forth. High level guys, just their minds, you know, racing and. And ex. Like all the flavors that we had that it was just. I'm so sorry you couldn't make it that day.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It was unbelievable. Had stuff going on. The. The phones ringing is what really adds to the adrenaline rush.

[Tom Segura]

Going raw footage just. We didn't, you know, tell them to ever turn them off.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Don't turn off a ringer, bro. You got six phone lines.

[Tom Segura]

Is not, though, the most impressive thing that you've seen that he can rattle off every number.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's pretty crazy.

[Tom Segura]

Isn't that incredible? To you?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Because I don't think I know my own phone number.

[Tom Segura]

Well, I don't know more than maybe two numbers.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

He just was like, boom.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's. It's. He's savant. Like.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

With that.

[Tom Segura]

That and cooking.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes, of course. May I ask you, what was the dessert that you were sampling?

[Tom Segura]

Oh. So he. I mean, I don't want to give it away, but I'll just tell you. I mean, there was fresh berries, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, and I think it's rum infused whipped cream.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

How does he do that, I wonder?

[Tom Segura]

They sell it out of the can and.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Got it. Wow.

[Tom Segura]

It's cardi B's. Oh, sorry. Vodka infused whipped cream. So it's whipped cream that has. And he was like, I just came up with that on the spot. And there was like a mint leaf on it. It was beautiful. So different. Yeah, it was beautiful.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Was Philip worried?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

When he saw Fancy and what Fancy was bringing.

[Tom Segura]

First of all, Fancy came in wearing a chef's outfit.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And Philip was like, oh, I'm just wearing my regular clothes. Like, well, mistake number one.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. You know, you gotta come correct.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You gotta come styled.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, I can't wait to watch the whole thing. It looks fantastic.

[Tom Segura]

It was incredible.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It looks delicious too.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It was really, most importantly, really spectacular.

[Tom Segura]

You can watch this fancy versus Philip battle at 5pm Central here on the YMH YouTube channel. So I got something for you. Ready?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Always.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Is that a suicide?

[Tom Segura]

No, no, no. It was. She was trying to clean her windows. Yeah, it's in. In Russia. 80 years old. Yeah. Walked away with bruises.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No telling. The slobs are built different.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Isn't that incredible? I mean, that is hard the way.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Now let's see it again.

[Tom Segura]

She's like, ah, dude, that didn't.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay, Bruce.

[Tom Segura]

Someone's like, all right, you're gonna hire someone to clean the windows. She's like, all right.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

She just fell out. Can I tell you something? Can I talk to you for a second?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, man.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Falling out of your window is extremely easy. I had a friend in college who fell out of a third story window. He was at a house party. There was a band playing and he was with this girl. And the room got progressively fuller and fuller and he just got backed in, backed in. And he. And this girl, he was behind her back, she's leaning into the. He's right. And then whoop. Out the third story window, he falls first she falls on top of him. He's in a coma for three weeks. And he's never been the same. Broke a bunch of. It was horrible.

[Tom Segura]

And she was fine.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, she didn't make it.

[Tom Segura]

She didn't make it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

From the third story.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

Damn.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And she landed.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wait, I'm sorry. Wrong story. Wrong. She was fine, but she felt really guilty that he wasn't sorry. That was the story. I forgot that. Sorry. She survives and she doesn't have as much trauma and injury as my friend did. But he's never been the same. He was really, really, really, like super intelligent before that happened. And then like.

[Tom Segura]

And then. Do you have another story about someone who died?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, I'm thinking no. No. I'm probably just mixing up clips that.

[Tom Segura]

We'Ve seen.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Different traumatic.

[Tom Segura]

Well, first of all, we've never played someone who didn't make it, so that's.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, of course. Yeah. Come on. Come on. Now.

[Tom Segura]

This is fun music.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Is that a buggy? I think it' these big ass buses, man.

[Tom Segura]

Bro, I think you're going to hit the car pretty hard. No. Oh, get out of there.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Get out of there. That could happen.

[Tom Segura]

That was insane right here. That was one of the craziest things I've seen, dude.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm so afraid of that happening to me.

[Tom Segura]

The logic too. Like your brain, sometimes your brain doesn't, you know, like, he's just like, oh, it's fine. Block the thing from hitting my car and not adding up how much force and pressure. I mean, I don't think he's going to stand up straight ever again for.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

The rest of his life because the way where it smushed all his internal organs. The important things, the car, like, my.

[Tom Segura]

Car is not scratched. That's cool.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

But it literally got him like stomach, spleen, liver, kidneys, everything. Mush. By the way, by Christina Pelift, he.

[Tom Segura]

Sustained a serious injury.com to his hip. That's where he. That's where he got hurt. His hip. I'm sorry, didn't mean. Interesting. Time to plug the lipstick. Do you want to do that again?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Christinap.com four shades you can get Atomic red, perfect red. Madison and Berlin. Christinap.com buy all four.

[Tom Segura]

I got one more for you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, off.

[Tom Segura]

Ready? Yes. Oh, guess what. Okay. She's okay.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Hold on. I got the weirdest text. Okay, so you know this phone used to belong to.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You and I are more than friends. We're like a really small gang. Minus the weapons and cool jackets.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, that's probably spam. Do you know what I've been doing now? So I used to always say I'm Ambassador Cart. Right?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, right.

[Tom Segura]

And it was like. And then get them to be like, I'm sorry, what? I'm like, this is Ambassador. You know, the State Department's gonna visit you, like, all this. So what I do now, like, I got one like a week ago that was like, hey, Jessica, it's me, Kathy. Are you ready for lunch? Yeah, I just go, yeah, where are we eating lunch? And then they go, wait, where are you? I go, I'm outside. Where are you? And then they don't. Like, they're. They always are looking for. You're supposed to go, that's not me. That's right. So I just. I affirm everything now. And then they just stop. You go, you know what I mean? Like, whatever they say, just like, you just. Yes.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So I should say you and I are more than friends. We're like a really small gang, minus the weapons. Lol. For sure, homie.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, my God.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

For sure, homie.

[Tom Segura]

Just add to it. And then they just go. Like, when they're like, wait, who is this? You go, no, wait, who is this, bro?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I thought. I thought you were my homie. What's up?

[Tom Segura]

Are we going out later?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, let's go. Oh, let me. Let me add that. Are we. Are we hanging later? What's up, bro?

[Tom Segura]

It's more fun, actually.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It is so much fun. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Because they're looking for you to just, like, try to dismiss them.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So they can go like, no, I want to hang out. Why? How come we're not friends more?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I miss you. I miss you, girl. Thinking about you.

[Tom Segura]

Let's hang out.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Let's see if they're. They're not going to write back that you're right. Yeah. Because they want you to be like, who is this? Oh, I'm so sorry.

[Tom Segura]

Exactly.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

This is Caitlyn.

[Tom Segura]

And then they go, well, it's okay. Like, let's just.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Just. Let's just hang out. Let's chat. Yeah. And then. And then they need. They need. What's it called? Bitcoin. Oh, you move your phone, they need bitcoin.

[Tom Segura]

Did you see this? This was done by one of our. Oh, Scott Welsh.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, I know that name.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Yeah. He does a lot of stuff on. On Instagram. And he's been doing things like this for a long time. Really cool ones. But this one was really, really special. And that's when I decided, I'm going to murder my mother. I knew a week before she died, I was going to kill her.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And she went out to a party.

[Tom Segura]

She got Soused, she came home, went to sleep. I was woken up by that. I got came out, I walked up to her bed. She's laying there reading a paperback as many thousands of nights before. And she said, oh, I suppose you're.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Going to want to sit up all night and talk now.

[Tom Segura]

I looked at her, said, no, good night. Okay.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And I knew I was gonna kill her.

[Tom Segura]

You know? Pretty cool.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's really cool. I like that. Charo's reading. My son is a sociopath.

[Tom Segura]

A psychopath. Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, it's cool.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. And they did a really good Charo.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Really good. Really good. You. Your teeth are awful in this.

[Tom Segura]

Well, that's. It's real audio.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, I know.

[Tom Segura]

That's from Ed Kemper. He. He was goofball. Killed his mom in real life.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, I figured as much.

[Tom Segura]

There he is. Yeah, Big guy. Smart guy too. Sure.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Why is he smart?

[Tom Segura]

He had a really high iq. Oh, he was really intelligent.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, some of them are. Yeah, some of them are.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Six nine big, huh?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Six nine.

[Tom Segura]

He's six nine. Damn, dude, that's tall as IQ of 145. Oh, it's places in the genius range.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Cool.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wow. Thank you for sharing that.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, he was a real neat guy. Too bad that the last city killed besides his mommy, some other broads. He had a real problem with killing women.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They usually do.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

How it goes.

[Tom Segura]

He murdered seven women. Yeah. One girl. He murdered his paternal grandparents when he was 15. And most of his non familiar victims were female college students hitchhiking, which is something you can't even do anymore.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I know.

[Tom Segura]

There is no like hitchhiking kind of culture anymore.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, look, if I were one of these clowns, you know what I would do? Get on the dating apps.

[Tom Segura]

Start killing that way.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. Hey, come meet me at this bar.

[Tom Segura]

Dark ass place with a phony picture. You have to do a phony picture.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Whole identity.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And this dumb broad show up.

[Tom Segura]

But you have to pick somebody. Wait, because if you. It's interesting, right? If you do a full catfish thing, then the. The woman's there looking for this other guy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And you know who she is? Yeah, she has no idea. Right, but do you want to pick somebody who's close to what you look like so that she engaged so you're just like waiting.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, no, she. So. So here's what. Here's what you're gonna do. First of all, I know who you're gonna go after. One of these Disney adult losers like these.

[Tom Segura]

You're talking to me?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, I'm just Saying in general, if you wanted to kill somebody, go after one of these losers. These Disney adults.

[Tom Segura]

Jesus.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

On these.

[Tom Segura]

So aggressive.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Hold on. On these specific sites where they're like, I'm a rope dropper. What was the other one?

[Tom Segura]

One of these.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, one of these doors. Closer, I'm a park closer. I'm a rope dropper. And you get this girl all juiced up on how like down you are for Disney.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You set up a meeting time. You stand her up just like this. Fishing.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, what happened? Your date didn't show up. I'm so sorry. But you're wearing like a Disney shirt that she can cling to. Why don't you hang out with me? Let's go for a walk around like Austin. And then now you strangle her ass and put her in the lake.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, I see.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So I just happen to be. I have my Mickey Mouse shirt on. Yeah. Oh, this is so weird. No, I'm just here. Crazy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You're into this stuff.

[Tom Segura]

You like Disney.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I love this stuff. God, this guy's a real loser.

[Tom Segura]

I'm sorry, you got somebody did that to you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yep.

[Tom Segura]

No way to treat someone.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And these nerds are like in Orlando.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Easiest place to dump a bodies. Florida, all the swamps, gators, they just chew everything out.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Go to the Everglades and you just dude, feed the gators.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

For sure, homie.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. It sounds like you've kind of thought this through a little bit. Yeah. It doesn't seem like it's off the top of your head.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, it is actually.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. Pretty cool.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I just think these nerds like these, you have to go to like a specific nerd culture because then they're really, they're really looking for it. You know what I'm saying? They're willing to block out a lot of stuff. Just like that guy that got catfished. The 14 year old ass eater man.

[Tom Segura]

Kills husband and wife over debt and dumps bodies in the swamp.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Florida, that's where you dump a body. Oh yeah. We've been thinking about this for a long time.

[Tom Segura]

He killed a couple. Huh. Let's see. A man is accused of fatally shooting a married couple, leaving their bodies in a swamp because he believed the husband had stolen 30,000 from him.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Jesus.

[Tom Segura]

A jury now convicted the 39 year old Todd Jackson two counts of first degree murder, armed kidnapping, burglary for occupied dwelling with a firearm and tampering with physical evidence. I like that. That one thing says believed meaning that maybe that didn't happen. Yeah, but a judge sentenced him to Life in prison. Let's see. They realized law enforcement suspected them. Okay. Bankers found no suspicious transactions would indicate the victim stole from his bank account. We further argued that while the co defendants had numerous motives to commit the crime, Mr. Jackson had none. No physical evidence linked Mr. Jackson to the crime scene. Well, okay.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I mean, 30 grand, that's enough to murder somebody.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's a lot.

[Tom Segura]

But it seems like there's no. Nothing that connects him to that. Like the. The couple. Did they actually do that?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Doesn't seem like it. I. I just found the story. I'm not sure the whole. The whole backstory of it, but deputies.

[Tom Segura]

Used a surveillance technique that Nichols said her stepfather was the one who shot and killed a couple because he thought Raymond Klein had stolen 30,000 from him. That is a. A lot to do if you go, I think this guy took money from me. Like, you don't know. Feels like you'd want to know.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You'd want to confirm it, but then you'd also want to be able to get your money back before you kill that guy. Yeah, like, I'll be like, hey, dude, here's your chance to give it back to me. And then when he doesn't fucking murder.

[Tom Segura]

Him, kill that guy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Right. Like, you want your money back?

[Tom Segura]

You want your money back? Yeah. 30 grand.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's a lot of scratch.

[Tom Segura]

Well, that's a lot of dough. Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. Give me my fucking money, bitch. Dummy. Yeah. See? So many bodies. I don't like that. I don't want to fucking see that. That.

[Tom Segura]

This.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Dude, I'm not looking at this. I broke my ankle. I don't want to see this.

[Tom Segura]

It was just dislocated. He put it back on.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. I don't want to see this. This happened to me. Remember?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Remember when they said were. You watched them, didn't you? They usually put you on. They didn't give her ketamine or. Or anything.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know. Oh, wait, wait.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Are you ready?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay. Got came back. Okay, hold on, homie. Wait, isn't this Jenny?

[Tom Segura]

Yes.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, it is. Yes, it's Jenny. Yes, dummy.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. See, this is the fun way to do it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes, dummy, it's Jenny. Who the are you.

[Tom Segura]

No, no.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes, dummy, it's Jenny.

[Tom Segura]

Just. Yeah, of course. Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, homie. Wait, isn't this Jenny? Yes, dummy, it's Jenny. See what this idiot says back.

[Tom Segura]

It's so much more fun.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's so much more fun. Yeah. Okay, wait. When they reset my ankle, they put me up. That's why I did ketamine yeah, yeah, yeah. They didn't even give this poor Xanax.

[Tom Segura]

Dude, that ankle was completely off.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, I saw it. I don't want to see it.

[Tom Segura]

Then he had, like, the.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Stop.

[Tom Segura]

That, like, flutter out. He's like.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I don't like this. I know. I don't like it. Dude, show me this. What kind of hospital is this?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, I mean, it's kind of. It's not here, I'll tell you that for sure.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Give him drugs, bro.

[Tom Segura]

Oh.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, Annie, you're here.

[Tom Segura]

Annie's back.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Nice. We missed you. We need to.

[Tom Segura]

I'm just strolling in. You can't do that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Why is he late to work?

[Tom Segura]

That's crazy. I came in late. Only I can do. This is. I can't believe I work here.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Dumb.

[Tom Segura]

Where have you been? We miss you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Where the have you been, bro?

[Tom Segura]

Working, man. I'm. Oh, I got a bunch to do. Okay. All right. Okay, okay, okay.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

All right.

[Tom Segura]

All right.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

We need to get some Negro spiritual music to play when Annie gets on the mic. Can we get that for him, please? What?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, my God. You want to get some of those tracks?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Do another one. Those are funny.

[Tom Segura]

Whole white baby, bruh. Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know what I'm saying? I'm sweating so funny. You know what I'm saying? I don't drop down my life, you know what I'm saying?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And not jail.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Oh, you want to see some of your talks?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Fucking always insane. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, that's hilarious. He packaged a damaged old TV and then it was stolen.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Isn't that amazing?

[Tom Segura]

That's amazing.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So for those people just listening.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

If you want to get rid of an old television, this is a ring.

[Tom Segura]

Camera from a front porch where a guy took his old shitty TV packaged and taped it up and put it on his front porch.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. You make it look like it's a delivery box and people just stole it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. I'm gonna start doing that.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. That's awesome.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

This is a shitty spray tan product.

[Tom Segura]

I did want to be tan, but.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Come to find out I bought the wrong freaking spray tan on Amazon, and.

[Tom Segura]

This is the result. Like, is that a woman?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

It's a lot of hair.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It is her.

[Tom Segura]

It's a lot of hair, right?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

A lot of.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, looks like chest and facial hair.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. Some broads have a lot of. A lot, like, hormonal stuff. Now. It looks like hormonal hair. It does look like dude hair.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, right.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm saying.

[Tom Segura]

Right, okay.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Like, yeah, broads. Sometimes you have to take off the hair.

[Tom Segura]

That's quite a bit. Yeah, that's quite a bit of.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I know.

[Tom Segura]

Also that's real dark, real chocolatey.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's way too dark.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Probably maybe go a shade lighter.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You've got to be conservative with spray tan or any self tanner.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Because then it looks the best. Conservative is always the way to go with everything, you know, any facial work, I'm saying, like teeth, stuff like that.

[Tom Segura]

Don't go too far. Yeah, yeah. Our kids don't have bedtimes.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They don't have any restrictions on any kind of media and they can eat what they want when they want. Now when somebody first hears that, they.

[Tom Segura]

Tend to think, well, I'm about to say that just sounds like chaos.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I know.

[Tom Segura]

And most people think that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

If you would have told me that 15 years ago, I would have believed the same thing. However, they make really good choices for themselves.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. I mean, the kids have total freedom too, you know, anything from jumping on the trampoline at 2 in the morning to staying up late, you know, how late do the kids go to bed sometimes? Yeah. Well, I mean, just last night I basically said, what do you think, Orion? Are you ready to go to bed? And it was 3:05am and he said, yeah, I'm tired. And then. And how old is he? And he's five. Cool.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I do little jobs, you know. Great.

[Tom Segura]

They may go to bed and get up late. But a rules free lifestyle doesn't mean the Martin kids sit on their hands. Devon, the eldest, spends much of his time learning practical skills like woodwork and black school.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

If I'm interested in woodworking, then I'm going to woodwork, you know, If I'm interested in a video game, I'm going to play that video game, you know, whatever I want to do, I can do.

[Tom Segura]

Have you looked at subjects though? Like if you went to school, you'd do history, geography, math, English.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

If I wanted to, I would. I'm learning what I'm doing and I'm doing it pretty well, I like to think. And I figured I can learn almost anything that way. History would be easy.

[Tom Segura]

I'd just go online and read about it. So you can learn a lot from online. You can learn a lot from YouTube, I guess. Yeah, we call it the University of.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

YouTube or YouTube University.

[Tom Segura]

Have you ever thought that you might like to go to school?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I've thought about it a few times for about four seconds and I realized of course not. Why would I want to leave this.

[Tom Segura]

Life and go to school? It was fascinating.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, it's definitely A way I remember.

[Tom Segura]

Meeting knowing of, I should say somebody who did this type of parenting.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay. Like free. Total free reign.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay. And what happened? Are they in?

[Tom Segura]

I don't know. I don't know what happened. I know that the person that had access to this family is the one that told me about it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Was like, it's, it doesn't. It's not that cool to witness.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, listen, I, I think from a parenting perspective, having everybody on a schedule just puts you at ease. Because if your kid's up your 5 year old until 3am that means your ass is up at 3am Watching them jump on a trampoline. And I'm not interested in that, bro.

[Tom Segura]

I don't think so either, man. That was, that's. I mean, I understand that there's like, there's something cool about this. Like. Yeah, I think the fact this kid's like learning blacksmith work, whatever, you know, he's like that kind of thing. You're like, oh, that's pretty rad. But the fact that there's no like people. I think kids want boundaries. They want.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, they need it. They need it to. Because if they're always anxious about, well, when's the next thing coming? Like when is dinner, when is sleeping time, then their, their brains aren't.

[Tom Segura]

I thought, because I saw. This is from the, the vaults. I thought we were going to get a 10 year update. Oh.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Can you search for that, Josh? That would be really cool.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I mean, I hope he takes that stupid door knocker out of his nose. Yeah, it looks dirty too. Have you done a shower? Congratulations. Congratulations. Congratulations on coming out. Congratulations, Sharon. Congratulations.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Congratulations. All right. This is for my friend Jared who came out recently and I have to apologize. This was sent on Friday and I'm just not getting to it. So I'm sorry. Jared. Good for you. I'm happy for you. Know that you are loved and you're special. Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. Thank you very much, Christina.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Congratulations. You don't like that?

[Tom Segura]

No, no, I mean the, the, you know, the what? The reason for the message is nice congratulating someone on coming out. That's great. You don't like the voice is terrible.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Whatever.

[Tom Segura]

Not whatever. No.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Maybe that's a really nice voice. Mariah Carey was known for her high pitched.

[Tom Segura]

This does not sound like Mariah Carey singing. That does not sound like Mariah Carey.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yet. The power of yet Meghan Markle.

[Tom Segura]

Yet.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

She's not. She's not a Mariah Carey singer.

[Tom Segura]

Yet. Yet.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yet. I haven't taken A today yet of grand opening Epic Universe.

[Tom Segura]

The Murder Gallery. We're going to to kill everybody. This is crazy. Oh my gosh. Oh, no one's going this way.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wow. I like seeing all these fat people running. That's good.

[Tom Segura]

This is madness.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Jesus Christ.

[Tom Segura]

This is so cool. This is a new exhibit.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Gas.

[Tom Segura]

Oh my gosh.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, I guess this is Euro. It looks like Euro Disney.

[Tom Segura]

The grand opening of Epic Universe.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wow. There's. I've only seen one kid. I've seen one kid so far.

[Tom Segura]

All right, hold. What does it say there? Epic Universe new theme park located in Orlando, Florida. Officially open May 22nd Second 750 acre park features the five themed areas. Celestial Park, Dark Universe, how to train your Dragon, Isle of Burke, Super Nintendo World and the Wizardry Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Ministry of Magic.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

All good things.

[Tom Segura]

The other thing all fine. Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

There's no kids in this video, you know. It's not one kid.

[Tom Segura]

Let me scroll up a little bit. Just a hair. So Celestial park serves as the gateway to the other lands. It includes includes attractions like Stardust Racers, Constellation Carousel. Dark Universe is a shadowy world inspired by Universal's classic movie Monsters. Featuring attractions like the monsters Unchained. How to train your dragons. Obviously based on that world of dragons. Super Nintendo World, Immersive Land featuring attractions like Mario Kart and of course the Harry Potter one. Pretty self explanatory. Explanatory there. All right, so it's a new park. I didn't know that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Great. And again, I would probably love to take our children to it, but these. These are all adults geeking out and running. These are all fat adults running and geeking out.

[Tom Segura]

You know, I feel like you're going to get some backlash.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I don't give a. All these people need to be in mental institutions. This is ridiculous.

[Tom Segura]

For the record. Don't agree, everybody. Don't agree. I think she's wrong. These.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

These adults that are into this stuff. This is mental illness.

[Tom Segura]

Just like what you like. And if it makes you happy, just go there.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Just don't make videos. If you like what you like, do it privately. This dork puts it on.

[Tom Segura]

Oh my God. Piss Pops is today Sunday, May 4th from 4 to 9pm for the location info, hit me up in my DMs and I'll send it on. Over 35 bucks at the door. At the door. Piss today and sniff chipper out.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

But we missed it.

[Tom Segura]

How is this different than the last video? How? How is this different?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

This is for adults, Bab. This is piss Play.

[Tom Segura]

Piss Pups.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, yeah. That's where adults piss on each other. It's different.

[Tom Segura]

What we needed for the piss pups to go to the fucking new park, they need to go to the. To the dark. How to train your dragon to spray everywhere and just to sniff with their snouts and just piss everywhere.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, they need their own amusement park. The pups.

[Tom Segura]

I would, by the way, just to put it out there. If the piss pups are listening, would fund this venture.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You guys would go as a group to piss all over this new park. I'll pay for it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, for sure. I would do. Or a piss pops park. That would be amazing.

[Tom Segura]

That'd be rad too.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Just a bunch of gay guys. Oh, wow.

[Tom Segura]

This the worst thing ever be up here with, like, your kids. Oh, it's in Mexico City.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's why. Why?

[Tom Segura]

No, it happens everywhere like this.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, you're right. No, you're right. This is during a storm, and it looks like they have to stop the ride because of the storm.

[Tom Segura]

Lower. It must be some mechanical failure.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Just lower it.

[Tom Segura]

Lower the guy. That's what I would be up there going, lower the thing.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And like, they saw the weather coming. They couldn't have lowered these poor people.

[Tom Segura]

Well, I think they probably got stuck. That's not about that. It's probably the storm's coming and they're.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Like, hey, we're stuck at the same time. This is just bad timing.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it is. It is, man. Daddy Reese wouldn't be happy with that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They are stuck up there in Mexico.

[Tom Segura]

You want by the way, I didn't realize that there's a closing song here. Oh, it's called Any wears those pants. Oh, it's by Jumpman Studios.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Hell yeah, dog.

[Tom Segura]

You want to hear it?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Y.

[Tom Segura]

This our closing song. Thank you for watching. Thank you for listening. Check it out. Here's a new song. Wait, what? I'm close.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, my God. Is he going to that? Don't pull on my strength. Don't pull on my thigh.

[Tom Segura]

Drink vagina. I'm close.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I would punch yourself, vagina, dude. So many dudes want to pull in my button vagina.

[Tom Segura]

Can't make my dad white. You know, I'm. I'm a work. I'm close. I said yo, D. What? Wait. What? You so beautiful. I can you up. What? I'm close. I'm usually the dude st. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Julia, look at Good morning.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, my God. Is he going to that?

[Tom Segura]

I'll sit a deep look at you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Morning.

[Tom Segura]

Good morning.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Morning.

[Tom Segura]

Greatest moments of my life. Look at.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Good morning.

[Tom Segura]

Good morning.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Segura]

Is he going to.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You're welcome. That was amazing. Thank you.