Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790"

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura presents its festive episode, "Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye," featuring comedian Jeff Dye. Released on December 18, 2024, this episode blends heartfelt apologies, personal updates, comedic banter, and insightful discussions, all wrapped in the hosts' signature humor.

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1. Apology and Reconciliation Segment (00:40 - 05:30)

The episode opens with Christina Pazsitzky and Jeff Dye addressing a significant incident from a previous episode where Tom nearly choked. Both Christina and Jeff extend sincere apologies for their inappropriate reactions during Tom's moment of distress.

• Christina P. (03:34): "My sincerest apologies for my inappropriate reaction during your moment of peril. Laughing while you were choking was not..."

• Jeff Dye (04:01): "I extend my apologies for laughing at your distress. It was my finest hour, and I promise it..."

Tom acknowledges their apologies, highlighting the importance of accountability and mutual respect within the team.

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2. Personal Updates and Facial Hair Banter (02:19 - 03:50)

Tom introduces a personal update about his changing facial hair, humorously likening his new look to a "Latin mechanic."

• Tom Segura (02:19): "Why do you look like a Latin mechanic?"

Jeff praises Tom's new style, reminiscing about the '90s.

• Jeff Dye (02:44): "It looks so good on you. I like it. It reminds me of the 90s."

The light-hearted exchange sets a jovial tone for the episode, showcasing the camaraderie between the hosts and their guest.

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3. Guest Segment: Jeff Dye (05:30 - 25:01)

Jeff Dye delves into his experiences and offers insights into his comedy career. He shares a personal story about introducing his husband to the Your Mom's House experience and receiving supportive feedback from fans.

• Jeff Dye (09:18): "I would say I would pay five, ten dollars a month for that."

Tom and Jeff discuss the impact of appearances and public perception, touching upon topics like attractiveness and societal standards.

Promotion of Jeff Dye’s Merch and Specials (12:00 - 14:26)

Jeff promotes his latest merchandise collaboration with Deville Originals, celebrating the launch of James Nigmeier's merch line.

• Tom Segura (12:16): "James Nigmeier Merch ready to go."

Jeff also highlights his comedy special, "The Last Cowboy in LA," available on YouTube, encouraging listeners to check it out and attend live shows.

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4. Audience Interaction and Community Feedback (08:12 - 10:18)

Tom shares an inspiring email from a listener, Keely from Oregon, who admires the podcast's ability to bring positive change. Keely discusses how a listener encouraged Tom to support charity endeavors, demonstrating the podcast's influential reach.

• Tom Segura (08:12): "We have to talk about how the United Healthcare shooter story has evolved..."

This segment underscores the podcast's community impact and the hosts' commitment to making a difference.

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5. Comedic Discussions and Banter (16:00 - 35:02)

The hosts engage in playful debates about pronunciation nuances and misconceptions, particularly focusing on Tom's recurring phrase:

• Tom Segura (16:13): "What's everybody?"

• Jeff Dye (16:34): "What's everybody? Why are you saying 'what's everybody'?"

Their humorous exchanges highlight the dynamic and entertaining chemistry between the hosts and their guest.

Merch Promotion and Product Placements (12:00 - 35:02)

Throughout the episode, Tom and Jeff seamlessly incorporate promotions for various brands like Deville Originals, emphasizing community support and brand collaborations.

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6. Holiday Humor and Stories (35:02 - 74:14)

Embracing the holiday spirit, the episode is rich with festive anecdotes, humorous mishaps, and light-hearted stories. The hosts share experiences from haunted houses, extreme events, and comical encounters, infusing the episode with seasonal cheer and laughter.

• Christina P. (63:57): "I was amazing."

• Jeff Dye (65:07): "Idiot."

These stories not only entertain but also resonate with listeners navigating their own holiday adventures.

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7. Closing Remarks and Upcoming Events (75:00 - 132:30)

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts promote upcoming events, such as Jeff Dye's "Last Cowboy in LA" special, and announce new resident moves to Austin, Texas, fostering anticipation for future episodes.

• Tom Segura (132:16): "We're so excited. I love it here."

Christina and Jeff express gratitude to listeners for their support, reinforcing the podcast's familial and inclusive atmosphere.

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Notable Quotes

• Christina P. (03:34): "Laughing while you were choking was not... because I was enjoying your distress."

• Jeff Dye (12:31): "Get your James Nigmeier merch now. He's a great fisherman. I love fishing."

• Tom Segura (16:34): "What’s everybody? That was him."

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Conclusion

"Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790" offers a blend of heartfelt apologies, personal updates, comedic exchanges, and community engagement, all wrapped in the hosts' unique humor. Jeff Dye's presence adds a fresh dynamic, making this episode a memorable addition to the Your Mom's House series. Whether you're a long-time listener or new to the podcast, this holiday special promises laughter, warmth, and relatable stories.

Transcript

[Tom Segura]

This episode of your mom's house podcast was brought to you by Rogue Warning. This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. What's up, everybody? It's Tom Segura. We're almost into the new year and I'll be bringing my Come Together tour to a bunch of more cities in 2025. January 18th, I'll be in Philadelphia. Haven't been there in while. January 24th, San Francisco. 25th January I'm in Reno. January 30th, I'm in Athens, Georgia. And January 31st, Savannah. February 1st I'll be in North Charleston. I can't wait to hit all these cities. Get your tickets [e-mail] tour and I will see you there.

[Christina P.]

Well, welcome.

[Jeff Dye]

Welcome to your mom's house. I love a great deal as much as the next guy, but I'm not going to bend over backwards just to save a few bucks. So when Mint Mobile said it was easier to get wireless for $15 a month with the purchase of a three month plan, I called them on it. And it turns out it really is that easy. We use Mint Mobile at the studio and I'm telling you, it really was super easy to get set up with them. To get this new customer offer and your new three month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mint mobile.com mom that's mint mobile.com mom cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mint mobile.com mom 45 upfront payment required, equivalent to 15 per month. New customers on first three month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. C Mint Mobile for details.

[Tom Segura]

Bonior welcome to your mom's house. This is very exciting. This is actually going to count as our Christmas episode because we don't have an episode. Christmas day. We're taking the day off. Everybody's having the day off. So this is our Merry Christmas episode.

[Jeff Dye]

Baby Yezushka's birthday. He was born.

[Tom Segura]

Was born. And then he takes over the world real soon.

[Jeff Dye]

That's right. And then he dies. And then you push a rock away.

[Tom Segura]

And 2000 years later everyone's like, that was the guy.

[Jeff Dye]

That was our homie.

[Tom Segura]

He was the best. Yeah. We have so much fun stuff planned for today. Number one, let me just tell you, you've noticed that my facial hair is different yet again. So everyone's going to be like, what's going on? Why do you look like a Latin mechanic? And the reason is that I just finished finally Wrapping up that television show. It's the reason I had a shaved face and it's the reason I have this goddamn goatee.

[Jeff Dye]

It looks so good on you. I like it. It reminds me of the 90s.

[Tom Segura]

The 90s? Yeah. The 90s were a good era.

[Jeff Dye]

You look good with it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I'm just letting everything else come back.

[Jeff Dye]

So if it were in fashion right now, I'd say keep it, because I do enjoy it.

[Tom Segura]

And the cool thing is, it is not.

[Jeff Dye]

It's not in fashion right now. You can't do it. You could bring it back.

[Tom Segura]

I think I'll just let the rest of the face come together. Yeah. So much mention, I don't even know where to start. I guess we should start by pointing out that we have finally, after a lot of back and forth, a lot of really emotional chats, we have welcomed back our original booth crew.

[Jeff Dye]

That's right.

[Tom Segura]

So they're here today, but they said that they wanted to say something before we moved on.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, you know, we all just wanted.

[Christina P.]

To extend our apologies.

[Jeff Dye]

I wanted to say I. I extend.

[Christina P.]

My sincerest apologies for my inappropriate reaction during your moment of peril. Laughing while you were choking was not.

[Jeff Dye]

My finest hour, and I promise it.

[Christina P.]

Wasn'T because I was enjoying your distress. I'd like to formally ask for my job back. I promise to show the utmost respect.

[Jeff Dye]

For your health and well being moving forward. Stupid.

[Christina P.]

I will also learn the Heimlich maneuver.

[Jeff Dye]

And have it on standby at all.

[Christina P.]

Times and refrain from laughing at any other life threatening, threatening situations.

[Tom Segura]

Very well.

[Jeff Dye]

Are you happy?

[Tom Segura]

I just wanted to hear the rest before I commented.

[Christina P.]

Thank you for your understanding, if you.

[Jeff Dye]

Have any left for me, and for considering my request to return. If nothing else, I hope this apology.

[Christina P.]

Serves as proof that I do, in fact, take you and your life very seriously.

[Tom Segura]

That's a good apology. Thank you, Josh.

[Jeff Dye]

It's ridiculous, Tom. Your ego is just gone.

[Christina P.]

Okay.

[Jeff Dye]

I wrote a letter, too. Oh, my God.

[Tom Segura]

Thank you, Chad.

[Christina P.]

To Mr. Tom Segura. First, I'm embarrassed and ashamed of my actions the other day when you nearly choked to death on the show. In the moment, I unwisely believed that I was laughing at Christina's reaction to your convulsion. But I see now that that may be interpreted as me laughing at you, and I should have known better. You know, while cartel videos are something to laugh at, my boss choking definitely is not. Especially with all you've been through with Invisalign this year.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Segura]

It was a rough year for me.

[Christina P.]

And you know, many people don't know the risks associated with Invisalign. So I did some research to educate myself.

[Jeff Dye]

And some of those include tooth decay, allergic reactions and gum disease.

[Tom Segura]

Yep.

[Christina P.]

Which can lead to life threatening situations.

[Tom Segura]

I was trying to tell everybody. Thank you for digging out those details.

[Jeff Dye]

So all this is to say that.

[Christina P.]

I feel, you know, dumber than a Chris. And I will certainly learn from my mistakes. And, you know, I appreciate you letting me back in the booth and thank you for your service.

[Tom Segura]

Thank you.

[Jeff Dye]

This is pathetic. You should be ashamed of yourself, Tom. For enjoying these. I don't think so. You don't.

[Tom Segura]

Is anyone else in there? Oh, yeah, I'm in here. Yeah. So I wrote. Wrote a little something. So I mean, I wrote that. I mean, I'm not gonna lie, I didn't really do, to be honest, but at the same time, like I ain't trying to put my man down. You know what I'm saying? So like, if an apology gonna be what you need to feel, right. Like we could go there. Okay. But like at the same time, like, I straight up, you know, I ain't really do like that. Like I already told you what it was. So like, you know, we could talk. But yeah, that's. That's. I stopped writing. Thank you. I appreciate your choice of words and I feel what you're saying. Very unique way of doing it and it's very any.

[Jeff Dye]

Well, yeah, I don't think that was an apology.

[Tom Segura]

Well, it was. It was any. It's. It was. I. I know where he's coming from. I said the word apology. You didn't hear it? I. No, I barely. You said. Yeah, you said, if you need one, I will be there.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Right. So I get it. I get it. No, I get it. I've been around you enough to know exactly how it was.

[Jeff Dye]

What was that? What was that noise?

[Tom Segura]

He was A flemy cough.

[Jeff Dye]

That was disgusting.

[Tom Segura]

It was what's called a productive. Productive cough. Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

Should you be in the office with that? Yeah, that was terr.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

And might I add, you know, in lieu of. In lieu. In addition to this lackluster apology that any just gave, I kind of enjoyed the other crew better.

[Tom Segura]

Can I tell you something that. I know what you mean, because it was a young, fresh.

[Jeff Dye]

It felt so fresh and young and vibrant.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know if they're experienced though. I think. I think after a couple of weeks you'd be like, oh, fuck, what's going on? But because these guys, this is like the varsity team, but it Is fun when you bring your kids to school. You know what I mean? Like with bring your kids to work.

[Jeff Dye]

Is that what you think they were?

[Tom Segura]

It was kind of. They were cute. It was a much younger.

[Jeff Dye]

It was much younger, much hipper. The googling was a lot slower. Let's be honest. They didn't really know, but I enjoyed it.

[Tom Segura]

But I have to pivot away from this because I actually feel like after a lot of thought, these guys weren't the worst. When I nearly choked to death, the worst person was definitely you. And it's been. It's not lost on me. And it's not lost on anybody that watched me basically hang on for my life and have my spouse mock me as I was on death.

[Jeff Dye]

It's so funny.

[Tom Segura]

It's really crazy. And then you know what? I wasn't really remembering this, but then somebody pointed something out.

[Jeff Dye]

That's jor.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I was. So we got this email. I recently introduced my husband to the full YMH experience. Episode 788 where Tom nearly dies choking, please. Right after finishing this episode, I wanted to show him more and I clicked on the episode with Charo and Blanca. In this episode, we noticed a moment where Christina chokes on water and Tom shows genuine love and concern, not laughter. I felt like I needed to have Tom's back here and wanted to provide the evidence to help redeem him after the way he was treated. I tune in weekly and have never wanted to write into the show more until this evidence presented itself. However I do, you'd ask Tom. Please forgive the staff and your beautiful co host. Everyone deserves another chance. Keep them high and tight. Love, Keely from Oregon. Well, let's talk about. Let's see what she was talking about. Let's see those.

[Jeff Dye]

I doubt if he even noticed my choice.

[Tom Segura]

Here's the difference. Here's me hanging on. Okay. Here's me just trying. Trying to live. Hey, guys. I was listening to this to the Adrian Appolucci episode. But by the way, she has a great new special out on Netflix. On Netflix. You guys are of course. What? I just choked for a second. I can't choke. Hey, you.

[Jeff Dye]

It was just scary. I got scared. I thought you were dying.

[Tom Segura]

Everyone's fired. Okay, first of all, on Netflix. I'm being re traumatized.

[Jeff Dye]

Netflix.

[Tom Segura]

Just trying to show you something. I don't like this at all. I don't like where this is going.

[Jeff Dye]

Do you want me to hold your hand?

[Tom Segura]

No. It's just about to be seriously about to shut the studio down. Okay, so that's how you react to your spouse literally having a life threatening moment.

[Jeff Dye]

Netflix.

[Tom Segura]

And then here's. Here's how. This is the other way. This is the only thing. It's because she's a teacher. It's the most annoying thing in the world that you don't prove to. Blank.

[Jeff Dye]

I'm already coughing like 20 minutes.

[Tom Segura]

It can be three days.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, that's true.

[Tom Segura]

That is true.

[Jeff Dye]

But they tell you what, every message.

[Tom Segura]

Anything I ever sent to Maria, I.

[Christina P.]

Send it under Maria.

[Jeff Dye]

So why I would.

[Tom Segura]

I am the mother. Don't you think I know what I'm doing with my daughter? And still.

[Jeff Dye]

You hold on.

[Tom Segura]

My tea. You keep moving your chair, by the way.

[Jeff Dye]

I was just choking.

[Tom Segura]

This is ginger tea.

[Jeff Dye]

Okay, okay. Sorry, go ahead. Wait, so people who don't know you guys are sisters. Did we clarify that at the beginning?

[Christina P.]

Frustrating you again.

[Tom Segura]

You have to look at us and you know where she says now? Yes. This is.

[Jeff Dye]

I mean, here's what I saw, your honor. A woman coughing and choking for 20 whole minutes before her spouse even hears or acknowledges.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, first of all, it was annoying to listen to.

[Jeff Dye]

Of course it's annoying.

[Tom Segura]

Nobody wanted to hear that.

[Jeff Dye]

I don't want to cough.

[Tom Segura]

My thing was just like you about to die. And then I was like, you're good. And you told me you're good. I did not mock you.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, my God, the look of a disdain. Disdain and annoyance at my coughing.

[Tom Segura]

Well, everybody hated it. Everybody hated it because you. It was prolonged. If you're going to choke, make it quick. Don't make it a whole show. That was really long. It was really horrible.

[Jeff Dye]

Do you think I wanted to choke like that?

[Tom Segura]

Sounds like you were looking for attention. It didn't seem like you were. Wow. Wow. Yeah, it was like, oh, is this moment not about me?

[Jeff Dye]

What?

[Tom Segura]

That's what it felt.

[Christina P.]

Bold.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, Bold. That is unbelievable. Well, you think I deliberately choked so that you could ignore me for.

[Tom Segura]

I think you put on a bit of a show. I think you put on a bit of a show. But I just want to thank Keely for pointing that out. There's two different types of people.

[Jeff Dye]

Keely, Good people. Traitor.

[Tom Segura]

And that.

[Jeff Dye]

So Keely's a gender traitor.

[Tom Segura]

Let's.

[Jeff Dye]

Unbelievable.

[Tom Segura]

I know. Let's put choking past us hopefully for the rest of the day.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, and watch. Watch your Netflix specials.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Jeff Dye]

And a little mush mouth lately.

[Tom Segura]

Let's get into the show. You ready for the show?

[Jeff Dye]

I'm ready.

[Tom Segura]

Let's do it. Hey, everyone. James Nigmeier here. A Lot of people have been hitting me up on Instagram and texting me, where's the merch? And I appreciate everyone's patience through this entire process. Finally got it sourced out to deville Originals.

[Christina P.]

Dot.

[Tom Segura]

I'll post that information in the link below. But here it is.

[Christina P.]

James Nigire merch ready to go.

[Tom Segura]

They are live on the website now and available in medium all the way to triple extra large. Available in gray and black. Check them out@deville originals.com. appreciate your patience. Get your James Nigel Meyer merch now. He's a great fisherman. I love fishing.

[Christina P.]

Well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Sagura and Christina.

[Jeff Dye]

Welcome to your mom's house. Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.

[Tom Segura]

Meow meow.

[Jeff Dye]

Meow meow meow meow.

[Tom Segura]

Hey, everyone. James Nigire here. So if you're into bass, pro shop, fish style fishing, all that, he's one of the big stars.

[Jeff Dye]

He is. Is he? Is he legitimately, he's super legit.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. He's got some new merch. I'm just trying to help him find merch.

[Jeff Dye]

That's why he selling the merch. For his skills.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. He's a pro. He's a pro, man.

[Jeff Dye]

I didn't know that.

[Tom Segura]

I can really fish.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. If you like fishing. Watching fishing.

[Jeff Dye]

I got a feeling his audience, like a lot of the xls, goes up to triple X.

[Tom Segura]

He said.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And it's still the holiday season. If you want to rush, you can.

[Christina P.]

Get your James Nigel Meyer merch now.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Segura]

Get your merch. Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

Anyway. Merry Christmas jeans. Merry jeans, Miss Mary jeans Miss to you.

[Tom Segura]

And it's my favorite time of year.

[Jeff Dye]

It's not mine. It's not my favorite time.

[Tom Segura]

I love Christmas. It's my favorite one.

[Jeff Dye]

But anyway, I thought I would bring some cheer to the world. Joy. And I noticed that you don't have any holiday cheer on. That's why I brought you a little something to wear.

[Tom Segura]

I don't want to do this.

[Jeff Dye]

You always look like a sad dog.

[Tom Segura]

Thanks.

[Jeff Dye]

When you put like a costume on a dog.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

That's exactly what you are every time I dress you up for Halloween or Christmas. Cute.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

So happy. You always look like a sad basset hound. You're like.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, well, thanks for that.

[Jeff Dye]

You got it.

[Tom Segura]

There's a. Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

There's Tom with his little Christmas cheers. That's totally what you look like, a sad dog.

[Tom Segura]

I'm a sad dog, everybody.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah. But you look much more happy There's a new controversy.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know if you're aware of this.

[Christina P.]

Sure.

[Tom Segura]

What's that? I guess I did a bumper that played on a bunch of episodes.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And everybody is saying that I misspoke in this, and they're really coming down on me hard. Would you like to see it?

[Jeff Dye]

Of course.

[Tom Segura]

What's up, everybody?

[Jeff Dye]

What the. Dude. What's everybody?

[Tom Segura]

No. What's up, everybody?

[Jeff Dye]

No.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it's.

[Jeff Dye]

What's everybody?

[Tom Segura]

What's everybody? What's up, everybody? What's up, everybody?

[Jeff Dye]

What's everybody? Why are you saying what's everybody?

[Tom Segura]

It's what's up, everybody? What's up, everybody?

[Jeff Dye]

It's not what I heard.

[Tom Segura]

If you're. What's up, everybody? What's up, everybody? What's up, everybody?

[Jeff Dye]

Your brain said, what's up, everybody? But your dumb mouth said, what's everybody?

[Tom Segura]

No.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, your basset hound mouth.

[Tom Segura]

What's up, everybody?

[Jeff Dye]

Can I tell you something? You need to be. You need to be checked out. I think you're gonna have a stroke. You're gonna have a stroke pretty soon. First you're choking on a Netflix special, and now what's everybody? Your brain and your mouth aren't working together.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, well, everybody is saying this. Okay. Forgot the up. What? A R2D.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, I agree it makes you sound very poor, but I know words real good, and that's not how you say that, Tom.

[Tom Segura]

This is so what's up, everybody?

[Jeff Dye]

Everybody. No, it's not what's up.

[Tom Segura]

It is what's up. It is clear.

[Jeff Dye]

What's everybody? It's Charles.

[Tom Segura]

What's everybody? That's. That's maybe closer to what it was.

[Jeff Dye]

What's up, everybody?

[Tom Segura]

What's everybody?

[Christina P.]

What's up, everybody?

[Jeff Dye]

I didn't even hear the up, though.

[Tom Segura]

I did.

[Jeff Dye]

You said it in your dumb brain.

[Tom Segura]

The ghost of Larry King has.

[Jeff Dye]

See, you need to go to a doctor. You're gonna. You're. You're getting old.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

What's everybody? It is what's everybody? I hear what's everybody? Yeah, that's. That's where this is headed.

[Christina P.]

What's everybody?

[Jeff Dye]

That's where this is headed. You're choking when you're talking. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. Yeah, you got it.

[Jeff Dye]

Soccer souffle. You know what the greatest part about the soccer.

[Tom Segura]

What's everybody?

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, do it again.

[Tom Segura]

What's everybody?

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, what's everybody?

[Tom Segura]

No, I hear clearly, guys.

[Jeff Dye]

What do you hear in the booth?

[Tom Segura]

I personally like my job, and therefore.

[Christina P.]

Oh, that's right.

[Tom Segura]

I refuse to speak on this.

[Jeff Dye]

He clearly Says, what's up, everybody?

[Tom Segura]

No.

[Jeff Dye]

Shut up. Okay. You know, we're gonna do take an anonymous vote because these people are scared of you.

[Christina P.]

They.

[Jeff Dye]

What's everybody? It's Charles. That's what it sounds like to me.

[Christina P.]

Hey, everybody, it's Charles.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

What's everybody. Yeah, that's. That's terrible. It's. What's everybody? What's going on?

[Christina P.]

It's Charles. There he is.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, say around 8:00. Oh, he's the greatest.

[Tom Segura]

So I'm gonna start going, what's up, everybody?

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, enunciate.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, shush.

[Jeff Dye]

You're an actor. You're doing stuff and showbiz.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

You've got to enunciate.

[Tom Segura]

Fine.

[Jeff Dye]

And I just. For the record, you waited a long time to before you intervene with my choking episode, and I'm getting angry thinking about it even. Yeah, I was already.

[Tom Segura]

Good. I wish you'd.

[Jeff Dye]

What? Wish what, Tom?

[Tom Segura]

I wish you never joked. I was really worried about that. I was super concerned.

[Jeff Dye]

You know what?

[Tom Segura]

What?

[Jeff Dye]

I think it's a perfect time to give you my Christmas gift. If you're thinking about upgrading your mattress, now is the perfect time. Helix is offering 20 off plus two free pillows with every mattress order. Okay. You're buying gifts for everybody else this season. Why not get yourself the gift of a great night's sleep? I love Helix mattresses. You go to their website, you take a quiz, you figure out, are you a side sleeper? Are you a back sleeper? And it basically customizes your entire sleeping experience. So I am a side sleeper and I got the side sleeping mattress. Don't tell Tom. I don't think he knows, but I've been loving it and so has he. He doesn't even know. Plus, the two free pillows are pretty extraordinary. Super easy setup, super easy shipping, everything was fantastic. I want you to try them out. Head to helix sleep.com ymh to grab 20% off and get two free pillows with your mattress order.

[Tom Segura]

This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform that is perfect for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything all in one place, all on your terms. Building your business's website has never been easier than with Squarespace Design intelligence. Their design expertise combined with AI technology has been a game changer for building websites tailored to your unique needs. Whether you're selling merchandise or content like online courses, videos, and memberships, collecting payments is super easy for you and your customers. They will have lots of options to choose from, like Klarna, Ach, Direct Debit, Apple Pay, and afterpay. Squarespace makes it easy to invoice clients or earn recurring revenue by putting your content behind a paywall. Simply set the price and choose whether to charge a one time fee or subscription for access. Head to squarespace.com mom to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using the code word mom.

[Jeff Dye]

It is the Christmas episode.

[Tom Segura]

I have one for you too. Ready?

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, shut up.

[Tom Segura]

It's. It's a video.

[Jeff Dye]

It's a puke video.

[Christina P.]

Why are you always trying to fight somebody, bro? I don't care. Like, I am from the street and.

[Tom Segura]

Gang. Gang?

[Christina P.]

Yeah, because I am from the same street.

[Tom Segura]

You are not from the streets.

[Christina P.]

Yes, I am.

[Jeff Dye]

It's like you and the kids playing PlayStation. I hear you guys downstairs.

[Tom Segura]

Merry Christmas.

[Jeff Dye]

I loved it.

[Tom Segura]

I know.

[Jeff Dye]

And I love. I love. So funny. You hit a bat.

[Tom Segura]

Dang. And you know someone like that, you keep saying, oh, no, you're not. That battle comes swinging at you.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, for sure. That's the danger of playing with you.

[Tom Segura]

You know, not a lot of impulse control.

[Jeff Dye]

No. In any direction. Sexual eating, fighting, fighting. A bat, swinging.

[Tom Segura]

Look what you did. And they go, yeah, sorry.

[Jeff Dye]

But that's why I like, I've. I mean, I've said this before publicly. There is a chain of stores here in Austin, Texas, and they, I think exclusively employ downs and people who are challenged. And I take our kids there just to experience that. Just to be like, hey, there's different types of people. And I love that they employ those folks, you know, and because that's what we used to do in the 80s, you would go and you would. At Gelson's, the bagger would be special needs or something. And it was way more normal. It felt way more normal to be like, here's Mikey. Mikey. And then they always want to help you to your car. It's really sweet.

[Tom Segura]

It's very sweet.

[Jeff Dye]

No, Mikey's my favorite.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

And I tip him like, I give him like $10 and it's like, it's the most amount of money.

[Tom Segura]

That's great for him and he loves it. Okay, that's good. That's good. It's really nice of you.

[Jeff Dye]

I'm serious. You ever give it down syndrome kids $10? I've never done giving them a million dollars.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, so what's the gift that you have?

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, I forgot. I got so excited thinking about my.

[Tom Segura]

Yes, I know.

[Jeff Dye]

Okay, it's in the folder. There. Right, Josh? No, hold on, hold on. I really want you to prepare yourself and ground yourself. Take your shoes off, go outside, walk in the grass, really feel the earth.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Jeff Dye]

Feel my love for you.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Jeff Dye]

There you go. Happy? Merry Christmas.

[Tom Segura]

Coffee time.

[Jeff Dye]

Strong, black coffee, best drink of the day. And today is special coffee time. Tom, it's coffee time. Just for you.

[Tom Segura]

And I've got it on good authority I have, Christina tells me you like.

[Jeff Dye]

A little bit of milk in your coffee.

[Christina P.]

Oh, I think I could do that for you, Tom.

[Jeff Dye]

I'm sure I've got some milk somewhere for your coffee. A little splash. Oh, Mickey.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Mickey, just write for you a hot.

[Jeff Dye]

Strong, black coffee with a splash of milk. You'll enjoy it, I'm sure. Turning red.

[Christina P.]

I love it.

[Jeff Dye]

Hey, Tom, Enjoy your coffee.

[Tom Segura]

And Christina sends hello, and so do I.

[Jeff Dye]

Have a great day.

[Tom Segura]

Thank you.

[Jeff Dye]

I love how you're blushing.

[Tom Segura]

Well, for people that don't know, every morning, Christina sends me a video of.

[Jeff Dye]

This lady, Catherine Can. Her name is Cat lady morning at Katherine Cam69 on Instagram.

[Tom Segura]

Every morning I open my phone and it's this lady going, coffee time. Strong black coffee, Best drink of the day. And then it's just that. And it's. There's a thousand variations of it, and every day I'm like, right, good morning.

[Christina P.]

It's every day.

[Jeff Dye]

But I love Cath. Catherine can69 on Instagram. She also has an Etsy store, Catherine's Chest on Etsy, where she sells her Coffee Time mug. So thank you so much, Catherine.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

That's very, very nice of you, Catherine. And this is a perfect segue. Perfect segue. We actually have to tell everybody.

[Christina P.]

This is a YMH exclusive.

[Tom Segura]

YMH exclusive coffee time. This is as big as it gets.

[Jeff Dye]

What? Chips in a bowl. Chips in a bowl.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. It doesn't get any bigger than this.

[Jeff Dye]

No.

[Tom Segura]

In just a few days, there's going to be a new resident of Austin, Texas.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, that's right.

[Tom Segura]

I don't think the audience knows.

[Jeff Dye]

I don't think we've told them.

[Tom Segura]

Well, I guess it's official. Charo is moving to Austin.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So now we have been talking to her, of course, about coming in here more and getting involved in podcasts and whatnot, but she's 80 years old, is a retiree, and she's always telling me. She's like, you know, I don't have your income. I need. Like, she's always just like, can you pay for my gas today? Like, it's just insane. So I'm like, look, why don't you do something? Like, do something to generate a little extra revenue in your life. And she's like, what? And so over Thanksgiving, we introduced the idea of her getting an only fans going and conversation. It was the best conversation ever. I laughed so hard because everybody at the table was like, yeah, you should. And she's like, what? So anyway, we told her that this lady is her name Catherine can as an. I go, look, why don't you. These are the things I told her. I go, people will pay. What is it? 599, 690. What's. What's the monthly? It's whatever you want it to be, okay? So I was like, yeah. I said something like, five bucks.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And people, I go, will subscribe to you. And then you put out things like this where you say, like, good morning.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And I say, you go, you have a great day. And I said, people will watch you. Just like, if you just want to set up a camera and go about your morning routine in the kitchen.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And I go, and then maybe every once in a while you let a little far go, you know, oopsie. And she goes, I don't want to do it. I go, no, no, you don't have to make like, very. I go, just like, yeah. Just like, oh, there's one there.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And you don't even have to look at the camera. You just let it go. And you go about your morning. And she's like, what? And then I was like, you know, and the people will, like, message you and you can message people. I go, just, you know, you don't have to be like, it doesn't have to be like, super.

[Jeff Dye]

It doesn't have to be sexual.

[Tom Segura]

No. Which, by the way, was how that platform started. It was just supposed to be.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, really?

[Tom Segura]

For people that just wanted to engage with fans. And it. It morphed into this thing and then they did this, this, I guess, second play where they've. As a platform, they've been like, no, this is, you know, DJ Khaled has one of these of like, hey, I'm grilling in my. It's supposed to be access to people, right? And they just had allowed for the sexually graphic stuff to have it. Point being, I've been encouraging her to do this.

[Jeff Dye]

What's money on the table?

[Tom Segura]

And what I would love to ask you, the watch, the viewers and the listeners of this show, please, please, please record a short 5, 10 second video tag at ymhstudios, on Instagram, on Twitter, or you can email in yourmomspodcast gmail.com and just say like and all masking. Because we want to put together a montage for her of, like, showing her the potential of doing this. Just a video being like, hey, I'm so and so. I'm Jim. I'm James. I'm Melissa and Charles. I heard you. Considering only fans, I would love to sign up for a monthly only fans.

[Jeff Dye]

I would pay with you and say, how much?

[Tom Segura]

And then be like, I would say I would pay five, ten dollars a month for that. You know, and I'd love to see a good morning from Char and like, let us build this mega montage where it becomes undeniable. Where she goes. She's like, shit, is that like a hundred people saying that they want to sign up for it. And then we'll get her to. To say her good mornings and to greet you and have a little. And then we'll gradually just try to ease in some fart content in. I need your help. I need your help. So please, this is what YMH is all about. Please, let's work together on making this happen. Just a short. Just has to be a few seconds. Say your name and say Charo. I'd love to sign up for your only fans and spend $10, $5 a month and tag at YMH Studios on Instagram or send it in Twitter or even email it your momspodcast gmail dot com. Thank you so much. I'm really looking forward to this.

[Jeff Dye]

And I must say that Catherine can 69 brings me so much joy.

[Tom Segura]

She does. She does.

[Jeff Dye]

Because I can tell how sincerely she wants me to have some strong black coffee. And it is the best drink of the day. And it's so simple.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

And it's so inviting. And, you know, there's a lot of people out there would love to have a good morning.

[Tom Segura]

Speaking of Christmas, why, I have been pretty relentless, I would say, without overdoing it, speaking of my love of rogues, you know, and I made a call. I told them. I was like, I love these things. I. I introduce them to people all the time. Wherever I go, I'm like, if you had a rope, I just do it. And it's a genuine thing.

[Jeff Dye]

There's rogues on your nightstand. There's rogues on the floor. There's rogues in the bathroom.

[Tom Segura]

I get people in. I get people into rogues everywhere I go. And so I said on this podcast, I love it. I love it. They sent me a present.

[Jeff Dye]

No. Oh, my Gosh, I don't think you deserve any presents because you watched me choke. Die.

[Tom Segura]

Check it out. Thanks, Rogue. I got the present. It says flavors that pack a punch.

[Jeff Dye]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

Let's see. It's a cool little box. Oh, hey there. Thank you. Take a punch of spearmint. I love spearmint. There we go.

[Jeff Dye]

It's a really nice box, Tommy.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, wow. And it has its flavors. The pack of punch.

[Jeff Dye]

Which flavors are there?

[Tom Segura]

They came with gloves. Oh, yeah. I like when companies do cool for their promotions.

[Jeff Dye]

That's a terrible sound to do in the microphone, and I think people listening in earbuds were not happy about that. Nobody liked that. Oh, my God. Nobody likes that.

[Tom Segura]

That's what your mom's house is all about doing.

[Jeff Dye]

Nobody likes.

[Tom Segura]

It's showing stuff you don't you don't want to see and hearing things you don't want to hear.

[Jeff Dye]

So true.

[Tom Segura]

Welcome to your mom's house.

[Jeff Dye]

That's so true.

[Tom Segura]

That's our slogan.

[Jeff Dye]

All things terrible.

[Christina P.]

Man.

[Tom Segura]

This is awesome.

[Jeff Dye]

That's like. Wait, what flavs did you get?

[Tom Segura]

Okay, so they sent me. I want to try experiment, which I've had.

[Jeff Dye]

Awesome.

[Tom Segura]

Mango. I've never had mango.

[Jeff Dye]

Okay, mango.

[Tom Segura]

That peppermint I've definitely had. I have peppermint in my pocket. What else do they have? Citrus. This looks like a new, bold citrus. What else? Wintergreen. I've had those. They're delicious. I love winter green flavored apple.

[Jeff Dye]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

This is super exciting. Thank you.

[Christina P.]

Rogue.

[Tom Segura]

These are flavors that indeed pack a punch.

[Jeff Dye]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

So let me get this off.

[Jeff Dye]

Jesus. And the slamming of the box. Nobody wanted.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, what should I start? I've never tried citrus.

[Jeff Dye]

Try citrus.

[Tom Segura]

Would you like to try one?

[Jeff Dye]

No. Because I've got this beautiful lipstick on that I sell. It's called Berlin. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You mind if I try one? Hell, yeah. Oh, yeah. Which one do you want to try? Shaving when you want. What you doing? The mango. Well, I just tried citrus. Oh, citrus. You want to try citrus? All right, Come try it. This is awesome. All the.

[Jeff Dye]

All the boys in Austin are into the rogies.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Rogues are the way.

[Jeff Dye]

You guys are all into this.

[Christina P.]

Tom, is it okay if any grabs.

[Tom Segura]

Me one that as well? Yeah, of course, of course. And there's other flavors if you want to try.

[Jeff Dye]

Thank you, sir. All the boys in Texas. That's really nice of them. What a nice.

[Tom Segura]

That's very nice of them. Thank. By the way. Thank you. I tried not to overdo my desire for more ROIs, but this is very, very appreciated. I really do enjoy it. Okay.

[Jeff Dye]

I feel like Catherine can is like the ghost of my Christmas future. Like, maybe that's why I like her so much. I feel like she and I look alike. And if I had my real tits.

[Tom Segura]

That'S exactly like, this is you in the future.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, yeah, I identify with her.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, you should identify. I identify with her too.

[Jeff Dye]

Coffee time.

[Tom Segura]

Coffee time. Strong black coffee. Well, this is. I don't even know where to go. There's so many crazy.

[Jeff Dye]

So many places to be.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. I think because there's so much happening.

[Jeff Dye]

In our YMH crazy world.

[Tom Segura]

There's so much happening. I want to. I'm gonna put these here so I can grab rogies whenever I want.

[Jeff Dye]

You should.

[Tom Segura]

This is part of our set deck now. I love that.

[Jeff Dye]

Okay, so every holiday season starts with the best of intentions. You bake that homemade pie, get all your holiday shopping done early. But then life gets in the way. But don't feel bad about it. Happens to everyone. Luckily, you've got DoorDash. Like your secret holiday helper, DoorDash has you covered on gifts, groceries and dinner for tonight. Doordash makes it so easy, you may even feel a little guilty. But hey, no one needs to know your pie was really store bought or that thoughtful gift arrived just minutes before your guest did. And now through the 24th, DoorDash has big deals running for the holidays. From Best Buy, Ulta Beauty, Wingstop, Aldi and more. Save money on the holidays. All with DoorDash. Whether you tell people is up to you. Doordash your door to door to more use code YMHJOY24 for 50 off your first order max. $10 off orders of 15 or more. Offer ends December 26, 2024. One promo per order not valid for orders containing alcohol terms apply.

[Tom Segura]

Does Blue Chew work? If you're asking that question, we want you to know that Blue Chew is putting their money where their mouth is by giving you a month free. BlueChew is an online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis and Levitra, but at a fraction of the cost and in chewable form. Bluechew tablets are made in the USA and prepared and shipped directly to your door. Listen, you need these. You think you're hard, but you're not. I take them in the morning. Sometimes I just go, let's see where the day takes me. I'm popping a Blue Chew and hopefully it's bumps into the right thing. You should try it. Sign up, get A Blue Chew. Just take one and you'll see. You've never been harder. You think you have, but you haven't. Blue Chew wants men to be rock hard. They told me that's the mission. They will not stop until every man is bricked up like a brick house. Till every tent is pitched, till every rod is raised. Discover your [e-mail] we've got a special deal for our audience. Try BlueChew free. Just pay $5 shipping at checkout when you visit bluechew.com that's bluechew.com to receive your first month free. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Blue Chew for sponsoring your mom's house. This is. I think last week we all lost our goddamn minds when for the first time in. I don't know, whatever. But in years, we actually heard something from Tony John. Right. And we got this crazy update from him. And what we learned, Gene, is that this guy has completely changed his life.

[Jeff Dye]

I'm Tommy. I have to tell you that since we spoke with Tony Johns, I've been thinking about him and just really happy for him and really blown away by his ability to work himself off the list of cool guys. It's never happened in YMH history, and I just hope that we can continue to encourage him.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

To stay off the cool guy list. It's never happened. I don't think we've ever taken a guy right off the list.

[Tom Segura]

Once you're cool, you're cool for life, bro.

[Jeff Dye]

So I'm so proud of him that he's cleaned up and then he has a job and that he has a girlfriend and he's reunited with his family, and it sounds like things are going really, really well for him.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. And.

[Jeff Dye]

And that being said, I was wondering if it's okay with you, if we could take his portrait off the cool guy wall because he's not a cool guy anymore. He's not a cool guy anymore. It's the first time we've taken a cool guy off the wall.

[Tom Segura]

I think he's earned it.

[Jeff Dye]

Wow. Should we. Should we take Tony John's off the wall?

[Tom Segura]

Take him off. Take him off. Let's see.

[Jeff Dye]

Here he goes. See you later, Tony Johns.

[Tom Segura]

Wow.

[Jeff Dye]

There you go, Tony. But also not. We don't want to put him, like, completely away. Do you know what I mean?

[Tom Segura]

I think you should really?

[Jeff Dye]

You think he's got.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, he's done. Yeah. He's off. He's off. And I also have Tony John Update here. Okay, Here it is. This is the update that we got. This is. This came in later in the day after we recorded. So here you go.

[Christina P.]

Just want to let everybody know, you know, I've got a lot of anxiety tonight. My balls are smoking, man. Lost my job, dude. There's just a lot going on, man.

[Jeff Dye]

Fuck.

[Tom Segura]

You know what?

[Christina P.]

It's just wild, man, because you know what? When I get anxiety, I get very, very horny, and I get very, very anxious, and I get a lot of anxiety, and I'm just being straight up. My balls. They are smoking tonight.

[Jeff Dye]

No, he lost his job.

[Tom Segura]

He lost his job the day that we talked to him. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Don'T do it. It's bad.

[Jeff Dye]

All right.

[Tom Segura]

And then he talked to Josh Potter on Behind.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, he did?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

You mentioned you're working at Lowe's now, and I saw some of your Instagram.

[Tom Segura]

That's cool.

[Christina P.]

I mean. Hey, dude, what do you. What. What are you doing out at Lowe's?

[Jeff Dye]

Ah, man. Dude, they can me Friday.

[Tom Segura]

No.

[Jeff Dye]

Why did they do that?

[Christina P.]

What happened? Breaking news here on behind the Jeans. What happened?

[Tom Segura]

They claimed it was for attendance, but, like, I.

[Jeff Dye]

It's iffy, man.

[Christina P.]

I don't think, you know, I just. I don't know, man. It's just real iffy. Heather wants to know, should we start beef with Lowe's? We got to get on the anti lows trade. Oh, no, no, man. We'll make them. We'll make Lowe's regret this. We can do that.

[Jeff Dye]

There you go.

[Tom Segura]

We stand with Tony John's always. Yeah. What a bummer, though, man. I think it's.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, I know what to do.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I think it's. I think it's time.

[Jeff Dye]

I got along, dude.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I think it's probably best.

[Jeff Dye]

No, can't see the thing. God damn it.

[Tom Segura]

You can't even get a girl to hang something up, right? Well, now that he's back, I think it deserves another, you know? Well, I hope. I hope Tony finds another gig. I think it's important, you know?

[Jeff Dye]

I think it's really important. Yeah, he needs a job asap.

[Tom Segura]

He's in upstate New York. Is that right?

[Jeff Dye]

I think Rochester area.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, okay. Well, there's plenty of places there you can get a job.

[Jeff Dye]

Please. Yeah, he needs to get a job to get his life together, to have somewhere to go every day. And his balls are full right now, and. Yeah, that's dangerous.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, they're smoking.

[Jeff Dye]

He said his. His balls are smoking.

[Tom Segura]

He's like, my balls are smoking right now.

[Jeff Dye]

Well, did he lose his girlfriend, too.

[Tom Segura]

They didn't mention anything about that.

[Christina P.]

My balls are smoking.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it is anxiety.

[Christina P.]

I get very, very horny.

[Jeff Dye]

It's good to see him back, though. Why am I happy to have the old Tony Johnson?

[Tom Segura]

Well, it's familiar.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. You know, it's a trauma, you know.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

It doesn't feel good, but it feels familiar.

[Tom Segura]

Yep.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, man.

[Tom Segura]

Yep.

[Jeff Dye]

Lowe's, Pinchy Lowe's, eh?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

How could they let Tony John's go? Don't they know who they have. That's a celebrity. I know for attendance, he said.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, well, he said it's very iffy.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, he's like.

[Tom Segura]

They said it's. It's a tardiness or attendance, but it's real iffy right now. Like, I'm not really sure what that means. It sounds like a, you know, something that, you know, somebody cool would say, what happened at your job? Ask some iffy shit. I'm not quite sure. Okay. Yeah. Well, I hope it gets. Yeah. So, by the way, we haven't really discussed it, but, you know, it's really crazy the way the United Healthcare shooter story has evolved and how a lot of the Internet isn't just, you know, ideologically kind of siding with this guy. Like the man that he murdered, you know, represented the health care industry, which is obviously, it's a horrific reality in this country that health care is just. It's. It's. It's so set up, seemingly to not take care of people.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You know, people get denied coverage and they're spending so much money. It's a show. Right. That stuff aside, saying, let's just take. Take out his reason, all side, the Internet has flipped for this guy as being a hottie. Have you done a dive on this?

[Jeff Dye]

Not really. I don't want to, but.

[Tom Segura]

Well, I just wanted your opinion on his level of attractiveness.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, are we doing this now?

[Tom Segura]

Well, why not? I mean, it's. It's the story. It's the. I mean, look at those abs in that photo.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah. And I'm trying to think, has there been a hot killer like this in the past?

[Tom Segura]

And also a hot killer who? People. It's interesting because there's. It's kind of doubled up. If he was objectively unattractive, he would still have people going, you know, cheering for him because of. They hate the healthcare industry and they're like, this had to happen. But the fact that it happened and he's viewed as an attractive person. It just, It. Everything kind of morphs and Changes where they go. Yeah, I side with you also. I like you even more because they find him attractive. The gays lost their mind for him.

[Jeff Dye]

Is that right?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah. Gay. Gay. Twitter as was on fire when they caught this guy. And a lot of women, a lot of young women are just being like, yeah, this guy's. He's it, you know, which has always been a thing. Killers always get the chicks. The chicks.

[Jeff Dye]

We know that. Sure. Now, does he have an only fans?

[Tom Segura]

He doesn't. I heard rumors and I don't know if this is true that he was openly bi. Oh, even so, maybe that got people even more fired up.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, because that's, you know what in the. In the rock and roll world, that's what you want to be by guys and girls to want to bang you. It's that David Bowie thing.

[Tom Segura]

Does it say anything where. Okay. Oh, this is great about the Internet. You just right away one of the McRib. Can you make that bigger? One of the related terms that comes up in Google when searching the name of the UHC shooter is is Luigi Mangione bisexual. It might seem like a pretty strange thing to focus on, but obviously things went viral. 26 year old was arrested last week. It's been a wild seven days that he was. He was killed in a premeditated pre planned targeted attack outside an NYC hotel. He was on his way to speak. Blah, blah, blah. Where does it get to that part? X users in particular were positively tripping over each other to see who could post the horniest response to the photos. It was at its core an outlet for people's intense frustration about the US health care crisis as well as a distraction.

[Jeff Dye]

Okay, I like his smile there, I have to admit.

[Tom Segura]

So, you know, this is one of the reasons basically why he got caught. This is like. Well, I'm sure there was other physical evidence that could have led to him being caught. He did have prints there, you know, the, the shell casings footage elsewhere. But this was the first. He lowered his mask. It was reported to flirt with like to smile at one of the, like the sales lady at Starbucks or something. He was like, hey. Or like at the hostel. So that's what gave, you know, the image of his face. So still we're still not seeing why. Where this came from, the bi stuff, I don't know. This is still not it. A small but Vocal minority of LGBTQ + people started at that point to claim him as one of their own, despite any evidence other than his love of artists beloved by the queer community at that point, several users began to call Mangione gay and shared unconfirmed photos of his, quote, boyfriends. However, the Luigi Mangione is bisexual rumor really took flight at 07:45 UK time when they discuss when the X account, which covers university of Pennsylvania campus culture treated breaking by confirmed along with unverified screenshot of what it looked like a text message that read a friend of mine made out with him when he was a student. For those curious he is by.

[Christina P.]

Thank God.

[Tom Segura]

I know, it's like that's just somebody's tweet, right? And then it led to an immediate spike in Google searches. Anyway, I don't know if it goes on from there. There is no evidence that he is bisexual.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, I don't, I don't. Do you read him as bisexual?

[Tom Segura]

Well, I don't. I mean I don't have really much to read on other than like the case and like a mug shot. I don't really know. I know that he was valedictorian of his extremely elite prep school. I saw the clip of bi. No, I'm saying I saw him speak briefly in that. Nothing in that would prompt that. The fact that he has great abs is pretty gay.

[Jeff Dye]

Or just young.

[Tom Segura]

Because like the fact that you're young is gay. No. Yeah, 26. It's easier to have a great physique. But I mean nothing about that. Obviously. Now then there was a photo of him holding his dick, but when that came out, I was on set when that was like being passed around and one of our directors was like, that's a photoshop. Like he was like, here's the blur line or whatever. I don't know if that's true or not. I would say I saw a pose of him with like hand over, like this. I was like, that's a gay pose. If you see that pose, you'd be like, I don't know that. Straight. Like can you pull up his nude photo and tell me if you think a straight guy does this pose? Cuz I think it's the only thing where I go that's kind of gay.

[Jeff Dye]

This one?

[Tom Segura]

This one? Yeah, that pose. Okay. Does a straight guy ever like, would you guys ever pose like that?

[Jeff Dye]

No.

[Tom Segura]

I feel like that's the gayest evidence I've ever seen.

[Jeff Dye]

And he's wearing those tighty whitey types and he's American. I think that's more of a. It's this gay by. Well, the pose and the, the tightness of the panties.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

Leans more gay guys.

[Tom Segura]

I also don't like how bro kept the. The underwear on. That's kind of. Kind of crazy. Yeah. Like, if you're gonna do all that, just like, oh, there's the big. That's what was considered the. I don't know if that's him.

[Jeff Dye]

That's more hetero.

[Tom Segura]

That feels gay.

[Jeff Dye]

It feels very gay. Because as. Even as a woman, I'm like, yeah, but I'm not. Meow.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know.

[Jeff Dye]

Women don't. I don't want that.

[Tom Segura]

I'd like our gays and. Whoa. That was gays and straights to weigh in. Is that pose gay? The hand behind the arm, behind the shoulder? It feels to me very gay.

[Jeff Dye]

It's. What's. What's everybody or. No, it's super gay. Pretty gay. It's pretty gay.

[Christina P.]

I would kind of wonder what women think about it.

[Jeff Dye]

I think it's gay.

[Christina P.]

Is he doing it for women? What are their thoughts?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

No.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Like if you asked a guy for a photo and he sent you that.

[Jeff Dye]

No. Can. Let me tell you something?

[Tom Segura]

The only thing I'm wondering, though, is if the fact that he's holding. Because it's all. It's always weird when you're holding a phone. Right. Like, make a post. So maybe that's making it weird, but. Right. No, that's a good point.

[Jeff Dye]

Listen. But in today's world, you can put the phone, you can set the timer, and you can go pose. You know what women like is in terms of naked bros. Can you listen to me? I'm trying to tell you something.

[Tom Segura]

Yes.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You just. I was like, that's okay. Go ahead.

[Jeff Dye]

There might be one pose in the history of dick pick poses that is somewhat alluring to me as a woman. Yeah. Which is the Burt Reynolds lying on his side. Because you knew that Bert was slanging dick to women.

[Tom Segura]

Here's the thing. If you didn't know who Bert Reynolds was, that doesn't scream necessarily masculine. That's a famous.

[Jeff Dye]

Can we look at it? It's. It's more masculine than. Okay, the panties.

[Tom Segura]

I know, but I'm saying that it's a hardcore masculine guy, and you know that. That's Bert Reynolds. Yeah, but that pose itself is.

[Jeff Dye]

It could be hardcore gay, too.

[Tom Segura]

Totally.

[Jeff Dye]

But hold on. The thing that makes that pose gay. Standing in the doorway.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

Is that his panties are halfway down as if to say. Hold on. As if to say, I'm gonna bend over and a guy's gonna. Me from behind. That's what I. That's what I read into that story.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. There's the wider one.

[Jeff Dye]

If you scroll up and he's laying on a bear skin rug and he's got a cigarette and like.

[Tom Segura]

But see, like, you know, that's Bert who was slanging dick into ladies forever.

[Jeff Dye]

That's true.

[Tom Segura]

But if you were just like, this is some guy.

[Jeff Dye]

Be a gay guy.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

Could be a gay man. But this might be the only nude photo of a man that I'm like, ah, that's tasteful. I like that. Just men are not great nude. And you don't even see his dong there, which is like, thank God.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, you don't really.

[Jeff Dye]

You know, unless it's the Lakers. You want to see all those dogs running, but you don't want to see them like that. But anyway, I think the panties down under the knees.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

Is a submissive. Come me in the ass.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

And then this is. This is totally. That's feminine. Yeah, it's a feminine pose.

[Tom Segura]

Well, here's the thing. I've always said this. We tackle the real issues on this show. And I was dying to get your. Your take on.

[Jeff Dye]

Hold on. Let's go see the back. What kind of products does he have in his bathroom? Maybe those are clues to his letter level of heterosexuality.

[Tom Segura]

Could be.

[Jeff Dye]

Gotta see if we could zoom in.

[Tom Segura]

There could be.

[Jeff Dye]

Straight guys don't wash their face. Right. There shouldn't be any facial wash. I don't know what all that stuff is.

[Tom Segura]

No. He's Jack though.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Which like I, you know, it's point important to say. Also pretty gay.

[Jeff Dye]

Pretty gay. I think he's gay too.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah. Oh, well, we cracked the case.

[Tom Segura]

We cracked the case. It's confirmed. We did it. We did the research.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, he did.

[Tom Segura]

Wait, there's another woman in the booth now. Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

Nana's a woman.

[Tom Segura]

Is that a gay pose?

[Jeff Dye]

Yes, very gay.

[Tom Segura]

Feel it feels like, right?

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Is your. Is your take that he is gay or are you undecided?

[Christina P.]

Yeah, I'd say he's pretty gay.

[Jeff Dye]

I'd say so. All right, the pose. This alone. First of all, straight guys just send you their dicks. Right? Like a straight guy. I don't know either. But from what I've heard, from what I've heard when girls get sent dick pics. Right? Neona, Isn't it just the dick and you're like, thanks for this dick. Guys don't have the wherewithal to like pose. Oh, that's a good angle. I look good here. It's not. Guys are not like that.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

They're just not as calculate Straight guys.

[Tom Segura]

I mean, you know, we also have never had a.

[Jeff Dye]

Hold on. I've cracked the case entirely. Okay, go back to all the photos. He's got curly hair.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

Hold on. See how he styled it and gelled it. Click on that.

[Tom Segura]

Well, that's got him got arrested. That's his arrest photo.

[Jeff Dye]

Doesn't matter. He looks really good. And you know how hard it is to manage curly hair like that. Josh Zolo knows. Josh Zolo's hair doesn't look as good as his arrest photo. Yeah, it's a nightmare. But look how good he styles it. Look.

[Tom Segura]

That's not styled is my point. That's natural.

[Jeff Dye]

But he still looks good.

[Christina P.]

That's years of maintenance and proper product conditioners, all that.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And what does that tell you?

[Jeff Dye]

Gay.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

Damn, that's a good shot.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

All right. Sorry, what were you gonna say?

[Tom Segura]

No, I just. It was just, you know, we're really.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, he's got.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, also the fact that this is. Here's another thing. That's pretty gay.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Ready?

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

He's very smart.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, super homos. Yeah. Yeah, they are the smartest.

[Tom Segura]

But I mean, when you have somebody who's really fit, really well read. I mean, this is valedictorian.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

He got. He went to an Ivy League school. He went to University of Pennsylvania. He got a. I think a degree in mechanical engineering.

[Christina P.]

Gay.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I mean, these are some of the gayest things I've ever listed.

[Jeff Dye]

So gay. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Loves Britney Spears and Sabrina. Whatever. Carpenter.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

These are. I mean, these are just gay building blocks.

[Jeff Dye]

So true. And Happy Meals. Super gay, too.

[Tom Segura]

He. He 3D printed his gun. I mean, that's.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, he did?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

That's okay. So. So I was gonna ask you, how did he learn to shoot if he's so gay? Hold on. Because shooting is a straight guy activity.

[Tom Segura]

Pretty much.

[Jeff Dye]

How did he learn to shoot then?

[Tom Segura]

I don't know.

[Jeff Dye]

Pew, pew, pew.

[Tom Segura]

Like that. Yeah. These are just so many.

[Jeff Dye]

So now he's.

[Tom Segura]

Now the little gay details. But then, yeah, you throw in a curveball. Like, why are you shooting? I don't know.

[Jeff Dye]

How are you shooting?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it's all very fascinating. Anyway.

[Jeff Dye]

Hot and evil.

[Tom Segura]

We will revisit this topic, obviously, as.

[Jeff Dye]

We learn more, but looks really do help you in life across the board. My goodness.

[Tom Segura]

Like, I think more people are sympathetic to this guy than what a lot of people would be sympathetic because of the healthcare world. But it brings even more people over when they find the person attractive.

[Jeff Dye]

And, hello, I'm into murders now.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

And Also realizing how, like, oh, we go look for the. Why the white blonde girl the most.

[Christina P.]

Right.

[Jeff Dye]

Like, if it's a white blonde lady who goes missing, oh, you better look out. The troops, they're on the case.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

Anyone else? They're like a Shubernet. Forget about it.

[Tom Segura]

Do you watch? You finally watched American Nightmare, buddy.

[Jeff Dye]

I've watched the Madeline McCann story. I'm back. I'm into JonBenet Ramsey, and I just finished American Nightmare and American Nightmare. A lot of details, I feel, are not really present in the story. I don't mean spoiler alert for anybody that hasn't seen it. Can I. Can I tell you my true opinion or you want, like, tell me your truth? I think another flavor. The FBI.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

Investigator who's dating Andrea, his ex girlfriend.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

I think he ordered the hit. Maybe he was jealous of the ex guy. His girlfriend. Yes, Andrea. And he ordered that creepy guy Mueller to go kidnap.

[Tom Segura]

You think an FBI?

[Jeff Dye]

Yes. Because they. He was so quick to be like, no, no, no, no, no. Those two did it. Those two did it. Remember, he, like, steered the investigation away from even looking for the potential suspects.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

So I think there's something there that the FBI guy is corrupt and they didn't even investigate him or anybody.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know about that. I mean, it's an interesting. What I really thought was the real lesson here is there are tells in behavior that we all register as normal. Normal is a term that people think of as relative, but the reality is there are objective normals. So, like, in other words, you know, something horrible happens to a family member. There's a. There's a normal way that people react.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

When they pull. When you watch this, Doc. And we are spoiling it if you want to skip ahead. But when they first. The first episode focuses on the boyfriend at the time. The way he is in the interrogation room is so peculiar. It's so outside of the range of normal behavior for an interrogation that you're like, this is not. Something's up with this dude. Right. And it ends. And then episode two focuses on the woman that was kidnapped. And her behavior in the interrogation is also outside of the norm of normal behavior, which, again, you go, oh, now we're going to get to how this is, like, what really happened. And to learn that they were actually telling the truth and that their behavior was, in fact, genuine was, to me, the biggest surprise of the entire story. The way that they behaved in their interrogations after going through something traumatic was so outside of the realm. And the spectrum of Normal behavior that I couldn't believe. I was like, I would have bet. I mean, I know obviously, when you make documentary, you can produce moments, but you're not producing the moment of them answering the questions in the interrogation room. And he's like, yeah, came in, put goggles on us. And then was like, drink this. And then they get. You're like, this is. There's no, like, Agreed. Panic.

[Jeff Dye]

Agreed. I agree.

[Tom Segura]

They're so strange.

[Jeff Dye]

He's calm and he's collected. And I think that might be because in his interview, he says, I trusted the police. I went to them.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

Looking for help. So imagine if you assume that you're being assisted, but then the interrogator already has it in his mind that this is guilty.

[Tom Segura]

Well, he has that in his mind because that is how police investigators are trained. They're trained to go into a store, into a crime like that, and if there's somebody there who is present that is close to the person that is.

[Jeff Dye]

Missing, 99% of time is the boyfriend.

[Tom Segura]

They have to do that. But they really let those people down, especially when they pivot to, like, burn that bitch to the ground.

[Jeff Dye]

I know. So why would. But I'm saying, why would that police department not look.

[Tom Segura]

Well, they ended up having to pay them quite a sum of money for being shitty. But it's a fascinating story, and we.

[Jeff Dye]

Just ruin it for everybody. But just fast forward.

[Tom Segura]

All right, let's take a quick break.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

We'll be right back. And once again, Merry Christmas.

[Jeff Dye]

Ready in five, four.

[Tom Segura]

Ready in Chomesh.

[Jeff Dye]

Thank you.

[Tom Segura]

And we are back, and joining us is a comedian whose latest special, the Last Cowboy in LA, is available now on YouTube. You can get tickets@jeff dye.com. it's Jeff Dy, everybody.

[Christina P.]

What's up, you guys?

[Tom Segura]

Thanks for having me.

[Christina P.]

Love what you've done with the place.

[Tom Segura]

Thank you. Congratulations on special.

[Christina P.]

Thank you very much. Where'd you shoot in Nashville? At a place called the Electric Jane, which is like a music venue.

[Tom Segura]

Nashville's a great comedy town.

[Christina P.]

It was awesome. Yeah, I. I don't know a lot about Nashville, and every time I go there, I kind of have a different experience. And I'm like, I like this place.

[Tom Segura]

People always, like, have it as, like, the sister city to this city.

[Christina P.]

Oh, really?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, they think. I think there's some similarities to it.

[Christina P.]

But, yeah, it's a big city, but it's got that country thing, Got a.

[Tom Segura]

Country feel to it. Accessible city. There's more people there than the city is built for. Just like Austin, it's like. It's cool. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

It's growing.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

If you have a cool town, we will ruin it. We will all move there and ruin it.

[Jeff Dye]

A lot of bachelorettes, they have that thing where you. You ride on the. The golf. The cart, and you guys get to get drunk as you pedal.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's.

[Christina P.]

I would hate to start the podcast on a negative note, but I. I don't hate anything more than that.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You'll see it here. You'll see popular here.

[Christina P.]

I hate it so much because also, if you want to drink enough fun, just go do it. Why do you have. Why do we have to be part of it? Like, what? Yeah. Like, why is a guy working? I have to hear you shouting, fallout Boy. And like, they're like, the guys, like, working. Like, why did the bar come to me out here?

[Tom Segura]

It is a bummer. And I always. Every time I'm. I'm down. Because you always see it downtown. When you see that, I always think about a truck hitting them.

[Christina P.]

I would love that. Yeah, I know that sounds terrible, but I hate it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

Well, I just don't like the idea of getting drunk and exercising at the same time.

[Christina P.]

Well, it's hard.

[Tom Segura]

You could.

[Christina P.]

You don't even have to pedal. That's. That's the big coup about it, is they're not even really pedaling. Part of the system. Yeah. Really. The person. There's like a main guy who's in charge.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

He's the one. That's the whole thing.

[Jeff Dye]

Well, he's got great legs.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Those other people pedaling, it's like paying taxes. Like, they're doing a lot of work, but it ain't going.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

That's good.

[Jeff Dye]

It's like the same people that get drunk and play tennis. Like my dad. I mean.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

For years.

[Christina P.]

He sounds like he's having a good.

[Jeff Dye]

Time doing that, but how? I don't. That's the last thing I want to do when I'm drinking.

[Tom Segura]

I don't want to drink and do anything.

[Christina P.]

That's ridiculous.

[Jeff Dye]

Right?

[Tom Segura]

No, I want to sit down.

[Christina P.]

Saw the greatest thing ever with one of those pedal carts in Detroit. One of the black Israelites were out on a Saturday. You know these guys?

[Tom Segura]

Yes.

[Christina P.]

If you don't know who they are, look them up. They just yell at people. Yeah. They're just trying to invoke any sort.

[Tom Segura]

Of stand at a corner and they just, like, preach.

[Christina P.]

But it was Detroit, so it's really cold, so they're wearing their Muslim garb. But then he had like, a Detroit Lions, like, starter jacket, like, over it cold. But they're like, you white devil, bitch. Like, just yelling at people, Right. And I'm just kind of got my headphones in, kind of like, I'm scared, if I'm honest. And I'm waiting across the light or the street, but then coming down the same street is one of these pedal carts full of just bachelorettes singing lip, you know, singing to music. And I was like, wait, they might have to be on the same street.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

So I waited through my walk sign to just see if those two worlds would collide.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And it did. And it. I thought it would be this masterpiece of whatever, but instead, just both groups were uncomfortable and didn't know what to do, so they both just silently stopped their bullshit.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

That's kind of it. It is such a thing, too, because I would have done the same thing. Like, I'm gonna stand here and look like I'm doing.

[Christina P.]

I was amazing.

[Tom Segura]

Watch this.

[Christina P.]

I. I was. I had to wait, like, a few minutes, too. I was like, okay, they're coming.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, the cards. Check something on my phone.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, exactly.

[Jeff Dye]

My favorite is when Tom does drunk girl I live in.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. They're just. They're the same everywhere.

[Jeff Dye]

The same everywhere.

[Tom Segura]

A drunk girl in her 20s.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Is the same in every city.

[Christina P.]

Oh, for sure.

[Tom Segura]

Yes.

[Christina P.]

I'm terrified of drunk women now, Sasley.

[Jeff Dye]

And they always have the dress with the cowboy boots, which is adorable. It's a. It's a look I've never been able to pull off, but I like seeing it in the South. You're like, that's adorable.

[Tom Segura]

You'd be lucky if she talked to you. Like, they're always defending their ugly.

[Christina P.]

Oh, yeah, for sure.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

We've gotta go. You're like, oh, she's talking to me. What do you mean you have to go?

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, there it is. There's the look. It looks great. I think it looks sad, but you.

[Christina P.]

Never pulled off this look.

[Jeff Dye]

A Southern girl can know M2MLA.

[Tom Segura]

It is. That is a very like it on other people. I mean, that's a. That's an Austin look. And it looks good. National, for sure.

[Christina P.]

I like it.

[Tom Segura]

It's always the white. The white boots. You see it a lot, obviously, on game day here, like when. When UT's playing, you just see 80,000 chicks like this.

[Christina P.]

It seems like women copy the. These looks. Like, what is the playbook? Do you like? I go, is it a celebrity or is it, like, just a thing you see? And you go, I Want to dress like this.

[Jeff Dye]

It's usually. It could be celebrity based.

[Tom Segura]

I think a lot of people do what we want. She's like, it's just, she's just awful though. It's awful because it's because she's drunk. You know she's drunk and then she's just like mean. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

She's entitled.

[Jeff Dye]

But I like that she thinks she's a rugged individualist. She's like what's.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

That's our night, girls. Woo. Yeah. Yeah. Do it, do it.

[Tom Segura]

Well, they always, I swear like we don't need. You can be like passing by like minding your own business and that girl has like the.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Somehow goes like are you looking at. I know.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. They'll reject you from like six feet.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. You're like, I'm not talking to you. I'm not looking at you. But you should be looking at us.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

If we did talk to you. And then you Notice her like 230 pound friend and then they're like, what was that? I just saw the fucking starting linebacker for the horns here.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Just so entitled.

[Jeff Dye]

It's so embarrassing because I was a 20 year old girl obviously a million years ago and I had a friend like that.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

Every girl does the instigator.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's right.

[Christina P.]

Why do they think they're so tough?

[Jeff Dye]

It's not, it's. It's booze, babe. It's just like.

[Tom Segura]

But it's still. It's booze riddled with insecurity. Which is like what usually fuels a booze like binge is like insecure and yeah. For a different reason.

[Christina P.]

I get sad when I'm drunk and insecure. I don't get. I'm overly confident.

[Tom Segura]

What you see is like booze affects people. Right? Like, yeah, I was. I've never been a confrontational drunk.

[Christina P.]

Me neither.

[Tom Segura]

It's just not. But that's just wiring me. I have a, I had a friend, I'm not a confident in high school, college who like super cool guy. And then you get a few and he would come and head. But you. Oh my God, man. But then what happens is you're like, yeah, I don't want to be around. Yeah, it's not fun in this situation. You know? Like I was, I'm like a nice drunk.

[Christina P.]

I was with a bunch of comics at a nice dinner recently and we were. They were describing one of their celebrity friends that I was like, I'd love to meet that guy. I'm not going to say his name just because it's not my story to tell. But they were like, oh, he's real fun till he's not. And I go, what does that mean? They go, he's the best. The best. The best. And then at a certain point with the drugs and drinking, like it's just a nightmare. And I was like, oh, that sounds. Yeah, not as exciting as I'd hoped.

[Tom Segura]

I don't want that in my life.

[Jeff Dye]

You know what, though, Tom? You are the best drunk. Like, you don't get drunk very often, but you're, you're a party. You're still a party. And I, I always remember the story. Please tell the story. You said it before on the podcast, but do it again. When you were younger, was it the Saddle Ranch or the Sushi place? Tell the story.

[Christina P.]

It's already a good setting.

[Jeff Dye]

It's one of my favorite.

[Tom Segura]

I was an intern at Copleson Entertainment.

[Christina P.]

What is it, for the record? Like an arrangement or like an agent?

[Tom Segura]

No, Copleson was a production company that they made the Fugitive, you know, the Harrison Ford movie. Murder at 1600. Arnold Copleson. So a big time producer. And because I was like, I'm going to LA and I want to make movies. So that I started interning there and I ended up doing script coverage and I moved on to do more coverage for other producers. But when I was interning there, some of the assistants. So I'm an unpaid intern.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And the assistants are like, you want to come out with us tonight? And I was like, sure. And I'm, you know, I know I want to be performing. So I think I. I don't even know if I'd done stand up. If I'd done stand up, I'd done it like once. And we go out and like, what age were you? 21. Okay, so start at one bar. And I have a few. And I just, just keep drinking, you know, to the point where I, I mean, I definitely black out. So I only remember bits and pieces. But it was retold to me that at we, we made it to. Was it Saddle Ranch or was it Miyagi?

[Jeff Dye]

Miyagi.

[Tom Segura]

Miyagi.

[Jeff Dye]

I remember that place.

[Tom Segura]

Sunset Boulevard. Like, I think it's still there. Bar, whatever. Sushi is bad sushi. You know, it's like a party for the bar.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So now this is like our second or third location. And I am completely shit faced and I am holding court. I'm telling the story.

[Christina P.]

Work.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. And there's like. And we're all standing in the circle and there's like six assistants from work. And I was like telling this story and then I only learned this later because I don't recall that much, but they told me. They're like, you're telling the story and you know your people are laughing, but they're also looking at you because you're so clearly completely fucked up. And they go. And then you just start throwing up. Right?

[Christina P.]

Mid story.

[Tom Segura]

Mid story.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, that rules.

[Tom Segura]

And you puke everywhere. And then, you know, like post puke, you spit. You're like. So you're like. It's like. They're like, you're spitting. You're like. And then you stand up and you just go right back into your story.

[Christina P.]

That's the best.

[Tom Segura]

They're all like, ah. And I. The only reason I. You're like, I blacked out when I got anyway home and I had a friend who I was living with at the time who he was like, yeah, you were.

[Christina P.]

That's the king of storytelling though. Like, you're the storytelling storyteller.

[Tom Segura]

Where was I?

[Christina P.]

It's amazing.

[Tom Segura]

But I remember that I got into like. He told me, he was like, you were. And I still was like, eh. And then I get into work on Monday and all of them were like, changed your rep? Yeah. Oh, yeah. They were like, this guy. You're a mess, dude. Like just puking in front of people and like.

[Christina P.]

Cool though.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. 21.

[Christina P.]

You're not 55.

[Jeff Dye]

No, that's the fact that he committed to finishing.

[Christina P.]

I love that. Yeah, that's great.

[Jeff Dye]

You were meant to be a stand up comedian, committed to the bit and I respect that. And I wish I knew the story you were telling. Like, what could have been that?

[Tom Segura]

I don't know. I'm sure.

[Christina P.]

Oh, any story could have been that good.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

When you're in. When you're in it, you know, and.

[Tom Segura]

You don't lose focus too. You like, like I was saying. Yeah. So I come around the corner and they're like, it could be a legend.

[Christina P.]

At a workplace too, though.

[Tom Segura]

Like, they carried me home. They carried me home. Charlie and Jack carried me back to my place. And then in the morning, I had no clothes and there was a towel on the ground because I had also puked. When I got back to the place. I don't fucking know. They took it off of me.

[Christina P.]

I don't know if this is interesting or not, but like, I'm always fascinated when people are surprised when people get drunk. Like I said, like, like, like I said, I don't know if this is interesting, but like so many times we Go to a bar in San Diego, me and my buddy Josh Nelson, great comedian, and we would just get hammered. The bartenders were our friends. They would get us hammered. We would flirt with them. Obviously, it's never going to happen. We'd try to do whatever. We'd look at girls too young for us. And then we would go home. And then the next day we'd get lunch at the same bar and they'd be like, you guys were drunk last night. You're like, yeah, you got us drunk.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, we're at a bar.

[Christina P.]

What are you talking about? And I go, did I do anything embarrassing? They go, no. I go, did I like, try to fight someone or get on the bar or puke? They go, no. I go, then why are you telling me that I was drunk last night?

[Tom Segura]

Like, it drives a whole something over.

[Jeff Dye]

Just to shame you.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Or like streakers will run on a baseball field. And they'd be like, that drunk guy. You're like, yeah, dude, you've been selling him $30 Bud Lights all night. Like, like, he's going to do drunk guy.

[Jeff Dye]

And also it's awesome and it's fun and it's funny and like, why are you shaming people about it?

[Christina P.]

Yeah, it makes no sense to me.

[Jeff Dye]

I know. Someone shamed me on our vacation. I'm not going to say who, cuz I day drank.

[Christina P.]

We want names. This is a podcast.

[Jeff Dye]

I'll tell you guys later. And I. I was day drunk. And I was so drunk that I was like, I got. I got to take a nap. Bab and I left with the kids. It was on Thanksgiving.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I was like, I gotta go.

[Jeff Dye]

And then somebody in our group was like, well, mom got a little drunk, huh? And I was like, yeah, yeah, I've had cancer this year.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I get to drink it.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, you can also do whatever the. I mean, it's not a crime to.

[Jeff Dye]

Get hammered on your vacation.

[Christina P.]

Well, so anytime. It's not a crime to get hammered at all. I mean, when you drive, you can get in a little bit of trouble, but. But the point is if you do it in a pool or something.

[Tom Segura]

Everybody who drinks has had at least 10 incidents in their life where they were like, I should have gotten a dui.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, you reflect the next day going.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, I've had two that are so traumatizing that it mean, like, you need them. If you don't get one startle you, you need the incidents to scare the out of you. One time where I was in LA and I got pulled over on Sunset I'd been drinking. My buddy's in the passenger seat. And I was like. I just go, what do I do? And he just goes, I don't know. Because he knows we've been drinking.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. He knows the deal. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And the guy comes up and he's like, you're driving kind of erratically. And I go, it's a rental. That was. I was like, I just.

[Christina P.]

Oh, that makes sense, because that part was true.

[Tom Segura]

I was like, I don't even know how it all works.

[Christina P.]

It is a PT Cruiser. Maybe that's why it's.

[Tom Segura]

And he was like, you know, license. And I was, you know, your heart rate is just. And then it's like a movie. A call comes out, and he's like. He goes, it's your lucky day. I gotta go.

[Christina P.]

It is your lucky day.

[Tom Segura]

I just got. We got out of the car. I was like, let's just walk.

[Jeff Dye]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

Seriously? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's so traumatizing. And another time annihilated.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Like, fully.

[Christina P.]

Well, to be driving erratic is. Is. You know, which I was doing.

[Tom Segura]

I really was doing, because I. He was right. It was a rental. And I was like, this is fun. I was like. Like, with the gears. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And.

[Tom Segura]

But the one time I was in college and I had drank a bunch and then smoked, and I was so. I was like, blasted.

[Christina P.]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And I, you know, insisted in getting in my car and driving back to my place. And as I pulled onto, like, this main street to go to my place, cop comes. And what he does is he rides my blind spot for probably, you know, I don't know, half a mile. But when you're that up. Yeah. It feels like 10 miles.

[Christina P.]

And you're just all in the mirror, just kind of.

[Tom Segura]

And you're just like. All I was doing was like. I go. The speed was like, 35 and, like, stay in the lines. And I was just like, you just turn your brain on to focus so hard. And I was like, don't do anything. Like, just stay in these lines. Stay going, 35. Stay. And like, I was just waiting. And then he just broke off. But it was like.

[Christina P.]

It was another scary.

[Tom Segura]

It was one of those where I was like, yeah.

[Christina P.]

I pulled over. I was like, oh, my God.

[Tom Segura]

Like, it was. You see your life, like. Cause if that one, he wouldn't have been like, it's your lucky day. He'd be like, we didn't call extra units over there.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. What is this guy?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, this guy's fucking.

[Christina P.]

A funny drinking thing. I think of with you is, you know, when you do college gigs, the kid, for whatever reason, I don't know why this was a thing. Maybe it's not anymore. But if there was a thing where they're like, all right, it's going to be this amount of money. You're going to get picked up at this time, do 60 minutes, and then the students want to take you out to dinner. And for whatever reason, you're like, why is this part of it? And they're all younger than me and stuff. And then, like, sometimes I'd say, I don't want to do the dinner or whatever. But then I'm so lonely and I'm like, in, you know, whatever town that they'd be like, we're gonna go to a bar if you want it. But, you know, it's a college bar and you're still like, I don't know. And I was also like, what? Last time I did colleges was like 10 years ago. But I remember one time they were like, Tom Segura came with us once and he drank with us. And I remember being like, sure. And I felt like I should do it. Well, if Tom did it, he's a better comic than me. If he's drinking with these fucking young.

[Tom Segura]

So much fun with us. Like, no, he didn't.

[Christina P.]

It was in Colorado somewhere.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, I know where that was.

[Christina P.]

Really.

[Tom Segura]

It was at the School of Mining.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, Golden. The town of Golden.

[Tom Segura]

That was in the School of Mining. I remember doing that. You know what the craziest thing was at that show? I remember that it was. Obama was either president or being elected. That's how long ago that was. And the reason I'll never forget, first of all, they had me perform in the cafeteria.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. I did this exact show in the cafeteria outside of Lance Arms Statue.

[Jeff Dye]

Why is it all always in the cafeteria? They don't have anywhere else as I'm.

[Tom Segura]

And so there's like, let's say 200 people in there. And I'm getting into like, I have, you know, a bit about E. I just can't remember whether it's he's being. He's running or he's elected. But something. A joke is my Obama bit. And I go and I say something like, what do you think? And some guy goes, oh, he's a N word.

[Christina P.]

Oh, my God. And.

[Tom Segura]

And I. And I just go, what? Like, what did you say? And then he repeats it and I look around the room and everyone's like, so, what's your bit? Like, do you have a. And I'm Like, I was like, this is insane.

[Christina P.]

Corey told you, like, do your bit, you know?

[Tom Segura]

Is your bit similar to that? I'm like, no, that's wild. It was wild. And I just kind. And I just went back to. And I walked off and I remember, I forget who I had with me, but I was like, did you. And they were like, yeah, that was.

[Jeff Dye]

That happened to me too. I feel like you took my story and just made it yours. Shreveport, Louisiana, it's another place that that could happen. Yeah, it's at the old funny bone. It doesn't exist anymore. And it was the same year Obama was getting elected. And I know bomb a bit. It's interesting how parallel our stories are. Like, you choke, I choke.

[Christina P.]

I had a story of the goal. Not. Not no N word story. But at the school of mines in Colorado, I was doing like my liberal bullshit. I was, I'm from Seattle, you know, pretty liberal guy, not by today's standards. And I was doing some bit about like, that was like an anti oil bit because I was like, you know, like, if we have a problem with oil and gas, you know, the Bush administration is always talking about that. Like, then let's cancel nascar. Like, they're wasting. You're just going in circles.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And I'm. I was doing well until this bit. And then they all just got weird on me, like crying. I was like. And then afterwards they're like, oh, you know why? This is like a big oil place.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, people work.

[Christina P.]

It's a school of mines. I don't know why I didn't think of that. Yeah, I did my dumb liberal, anti, anti oil bit.

[Tom Segura]

And then we're gonna shift gears on how we like you. Exactly.

[Christina P.]

And it happened right away so fast. But I got him back with some, you know, frivolous cats and Mario brothers. I just went back to the classics.

[Jeff Dye]

But you know, in my mind since that time that someone screamed out the N word too when I brought up my Obama bit, I cannot think of a good comeback for that. And I've been thinking about it for 20 years. I still come back.

[Christina P.]

You don't have a good comeback to.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, I go, hey guys, we give Obama as a president N word. Should I. What's a good.

[Christina P.]

Well, you just.

[Tom Segura]

Shane, that's the one I'm talking about. The one running for president.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, yeah, same guy. Same guy. Or I would just shame them and be like, Jesus Christ, what is my Uncle Al here? You know, like play like, just playfully shame them as like, that's not how we speak. Or double down and agree with them. Like, say, yeah, that's the guy. Wait, why are you interrupting? You know who I'm talking.

[Tom Segura]

The crazier thing to me when this happened was because a. There's, you know, the. The. The nerve.

[Christina P.]

Right.

[Tom Segura]

To.

[Christina P.]

Sure.

[Tom Segura]

But the fact that the whole room.

[Jeff Dye]

Was, like, same as Shreveport.

[Christina P.]

Well, this isn't a popular take. I'm risking something to say this. I think a lot of that kind of thing is this. Aren't I being naughty?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Like, they don't really. I mean, some people really do think that, obviously.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

But I'm saying, like, I think a lot of times it's very, like, aren't I. I'm being a shock. Shocking guy.

[Tom Segura]

Sure. I mean, there's a lot of comedians.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

That live in that world of, like, what's taboo. I'll say it right now.

[Christina P.]

Howard Stern made a whole career off of it.

[Tom Segura]

If you're. If you say the thing, but it's also a good joke.

[Christina P.]

Correct.

[Tom Segura]

Then it's like, that's the double.

[Christina P.]

Right.

[Tom Segura]

But if you're just like, here's something that I shouldn't say, and I'll say it.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Then you're just.

[Christina P.]

But I did it when I was a kid. Right. I'll admit that I used to, like, because, you know, I grew up in, like, this white bread area of Washington that's, like, south of Seattle, right?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And me and all my friends, we'd play video games, were smelly little boys. You know, it's very classic, kind of whatever. We had, like, two black kids at our school.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And I remember, like, the bad kids, the rebellious, the naughty kids, they got to get, like. They would get in fights or they would steal or they would blow up mailboxes or they would do these things. Well, that all has risks.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

You know, like. Like, you can get arrested or you can get suspended or in trouble. You could get in a fight, hurt. Whereas, like, if I just said the N word while we're playing video games, everyone would be like, jeff is nuts.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. And so I learned, like, oh, just. You're just saying a forbidden word for you. What's that?

[Jeff Dye]

We should show him the merch.

[Tom Segura]

What merch?

[Jeff Dye]

We played at the top of the show. The opening clip guy.

[Tom Segura]

Oh. Oh, sorry.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

What is the thing?

[Tom Segura]

This is. Yeah. This is a real thing here, everyone. James Nigmeyer here.

[Christina P.]

Oh, wow.

[Tom Segura]

People have been hitting me up on Instagram, inappropriate and texting me, where's the merch?

[Jeff Dye]

And I appreciate everyone's patience, everyone.

[Tom Segura]

Entire process finally got it sourced out to Deville Originals.com. i'll post that information in the link below, but here it is.

[Christina P.]

I can't wait. James Nigmeyer Merch. Oh, my God.

[Tom Segura]

They are live on the website. Now the question is, is it. Does it fall into the same category that we're discussing, which I think it does. The person who really buys this isn't like, God, this is my favorite fisherman.

[Christina P.]

They think it's naughty and hilarious. It's fun to be naughty. It's fun to be.

[Tom Segura]

In this instance, you get away with it.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

Somebody goes, what the fuck? He goes, this is a fucking fisherman.

[Christina P.]

100%. Well, like, my. My favorite way to phrase is Beth Stelling. And like, when we'll talk about how, like, it's sometimes fun and I'm very guilty of it, my act all the time to be a little piggy in the mud, you know, it's fun to be naughty. And that's all it is. That's what every community in our heart. Like, it's just kind of fun to be the mischievous. Like.

[Tom Segura]

Or there's the. There's a college football player named Noah Kaniga. Yep. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Can you pull him up?

[Christina P.]

This one's not even spelled too aggressive, that fisherman.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Like, it's not spelled that aggressive. What we're about to see is spelled pretty aggressive. And it's his name.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. This is a linebacker.

[Christina P.]

It's in.

[Jeff Dye]

The K is not silent.

[Tom Segura]

It is. It's.

[Christina P.]

Oh, no, it's silent for sure.

[Tom Segura]

It's. Yeah, yeah.

[Christina P.]

He's gotten famous just because of his name. But he's also pretty good, I think.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, I think you changed that last name.

[Tom Segura]

There he is. And it's like, you need a lot. You do.

[Christina P.]

You got a Noah. Like, is kind of good too. Like, it's.

[Tom Segura]

Well, yeah, it's like. I think that the recruiting thing was like, we need a linebacker. I think. I know, right?

[Christina P.]

It's perfect. Yeah. And that has no K for that. Like, I love it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Yeah. You know that. What is it called? Like, the broadcasters are always like, whoa.

[Christina P.]

Oh, dude, I wouldn't do it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

There's a guy named. Look up Seattle Mariners. Mitch Han. H A N H A N. And the rest will come up. And I. When I cheer for him in Seattle, I call him Mitch H. And sometimes people will look back because I'm going, come on, Mitch H. And they'll turn around and I'll go, well, I'm not going to say his whole name and I'll get a little. I'll get a little laugh.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christina P.]

From the person like, oh, I see what you did there.

[Tom Segura]

There was a. I remember because I always followed FSU football, that they had a wide receiver named Dakoti. And there's just no way around.

[Christina P.]

There's no way around that.

[Tom Segura]

They would just be like. Like, the guys calling the game would be like, you know, first down by.

[Christina P.]

What do you do? Yeah, I gotta do it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Also, two GS. Is he straight or gay? Oh, this guy. Because it would be great if he was also gay. What a treat.

[Tom Segura]

There he is.

[Christina P.]

You know what I mean?

[Tom Segura]

There he is. There's Dakota.

[Christina P.]

Oh, yeah. He looks pretty straight, actually. If I had to profile, I think that's a straight guy.

[Tom Segura]

There's no. There is no doubt that what fueled this guy to be a Division 1 football player was being called a fag.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. This is the pro athlete version of Boy Named sue for sure. Like, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

But I also, at this point.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Don't you think if you're in this family, you're like, I think we can petition to the name change.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Or you're like, no, we're devoted fags.

[Jeff Dye]

No. It's so easy.

[Tom Segura]

We love our back. Like, come on, you go to the.

[Jeff Dye]

Social Security office and you apply for a name change. It's really not that hard.

[Christina P.]

For my podcast, we basically play a game where it's like, how much? We just ask you a thing and then we crowds source the money. So you actually have to do whatever. The thing is, you said you'll do. Yeah. And we were like. One of them was, how much to change your name for a year.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And so, like, to change my name to Jeff Farts for a whole year, and I've got to commit to it. I've got to, like, go.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

We put a caveat for, like, comedy, because you spend so long building your brand as far as, like, tour posters.

[Tom Segura]

Sure.

[Christina P.]

So you can. Whatever. But for your everyday life, your mail, your Jeff Farts. I do it for five grand.

[Tom Segura]

Five grand.

[Jeff Dye]

That's it.

[Christina P.]

And I think it's kind of funny also.

[Tom Segura]

It's very funny.

[Jeff Dye]

So hold on. So if you go to a restaurant, you put your name down for a table, it's Jeff Fart, which is kind of fun.

[Christina P.]

That one is a good example.

[Tom Segura]

And they'll never believe you if you. So you'd have to do like a P, H, A, R, T, C or something, you know, or feel like it's farts. It's like, what?

[Christina P.]

Well, if they don't believe me, I could just show my id, Your ID will say and be like, gosh, you know, I. It's my real name. I'm not trying to be silly.

[Tom Segura]

Table for farts is ready. Yeah, it's great.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I think this guy's name fuels either if you're an athlete, you become a high level athlete, or this would be the perfect fuel to make a comedian.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

Ridiculed.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

He was non athletic, 100%.

[Jeff Dye]

Or what about you just do your Starbucks name for a year as farts?

[Christina P.]

Yeah, that'd be fine. I mean, I always do a fake name at Starbucks anyway. Same I do, but it's, it's not for humor. I just can't believe they're gonna take any name I tell them.

[Tom Segura]

What names have you gone with?

[Christina P.]

I usually do Mortal Kombat names, but like the most preposterous ones I can think of, like Cyrax, you know, like. And they'll be like, cyrax? I'm like, yeah. And they're like, they don't, they don't push back much. They just write it on the.

[Jeff Dye]

They never spell it right because they don't spell Christina correctly. I can't imagine Cyrax.

[Tom Segura]

In their defense, they're doing a lot of writing.

[Jeff Dye]

By the way, I've been a barista at Starbucks summer of 97, and I spelled the out of some names. Okay.

[Christina P.]

In. Yeah. In their defense, they are, you know, I've done it. Teenagers who hate their jobs. Wait, just a second ago you said that makes a good comedian.

[Tom Segura]

Yes.

[Christina P.]

Kind of thing. What have you. You're a therapy person. What, what do you. Have you guys kind of gotten to the thing that makes you believe why you're a comedian?

[Tom Segura]

I mean, I've definitely so much thought about it. I think the most simple, broad thing for me is, well, two things. One, I think moving a lot as a kid plays a role in the fact that you're just always new and wanting to be accepted by a new.

[Christina P.]

So, yeah, you'd be. That's how you get friends, by making.

[Tom Segura]

So that was, that was a huge. I moved. I went to like eight or nine different schools.

[Christina P.]

That's a lot.

[Tom Segura]

So that's a lot of. Of being new. And I think I have a good bit of like middle child syndrome of where you just are kind of ignored because you have like, you feel like your first kid who's like, you know, taking like all the attention and then your baby. And so like, they're just like, well, we're glad that you don't need anything, you know? So, like, I think those things play into the psyche of, like, how you become a comedian.

[Jeff Dye]

Plus, you're full of hate and anger.

[Tom Segura]

Full of rage, too.

[Christina P.]

Well, that helps for comedy. Yeah, it's a great one.

[Jeff Dye]

What about you, Jeff? Die.

[Christina P.]

I'm just. It's very simple. Short and sweet. Like, my parents just were like. I was not, like, a victim of abuse, but we were, like, victims, me and my sisters, of neglect. And neglect makes you go like, you know, I'll get trouble. Yeah, I'll draw something. Look what I drew. I'm. You know, like that Family Guy thing where he's like.

[Tom Segura]

Well, that's a version of, like, middle kid. Right? You just feel. You feel lost.

[Christina P.]

We just. They're never around.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And when they were around, they weren't around. So it was just, like, constantly needing validation, which is a comic.

[Jeff Dye]

Were they just overworking? Why were they not around emotionally? Were they alcoholics or.

[Christina P.]

No, I. I've never been able to. Really. No. People are like my parents. I've never met any people like my parents.

[Jeff Dye]

Well, they know what I'm about to.

[Christina P.]

Tell you, you won't believe.

[Jeff Dye]

Okay.

[Christina P.]

They have no friends. They have no hobbies. They have no favorite movies. They don't have a favorite food. There's no interests. They don't connect with anyone else in the family. They're just these two people that work, and then when they get done with work, they just sit home. They don't want to be parents. They don't want to be married. I don't think. They don't want to cheat. They don't. There's no interests. So the reason I want to do everything and I want everyone to be my friend and I would need so much is because they did nothing. I want to do everything.

[Jeff Dye]

They don't even like each other. You're saying barely.

[Tom Segura]

So they're uninspiring people.

[Christina P.]

They don't want to do anything, really. I'll go one. Watch the show, and they'll say, yeah, put it on. I'll put a show on. A look over. And then they're getting up and then go into their room.

[Tom Segura]

My least the thing I. I had a good relationship with my father, and one thing that always made me crazy is I'd be like, I know you like this topic, so, like, check this out. And I'd put on, like, a movie or a show about something that I know interests him, and I'd be like, what do you think he'd be like? What's that?

[Jeff Dye]

Are you.

[Tom Segura]

Are you watching this?

[Christina P.]

I just showed you this for you.

[Tom Segura]

Now, I already know this. I'm like, no, you don't. You don't know this. And he's like, I gave him a book one time. And I was like. Is like, exactly what we were discussing. And, you know, it's excellent. And then he would be like, oh, thanks, buddy. And then the next day, I was like, you're reading it? But he goes, yeah, I finished it. I go, 600 pages. He goes, well, I knew most of it, so would you just kind of like, skim through it? He's like, yeah, yeah. Interesting. I'm like, it makes me crazy.

[Christina P.]

It drives me nuts. I'm actually the worst. This is like, whoever my future partner will end up being is going to be so annoyed with how much I need someone to see what I'm seeing or watch what I'm watching. Like, I mean, I'm the best consumer. Because if you, like, gave me a product and I liked it, I wouldn't shut the fuck up about it.

[Tom Segura]

Right?

[Christina P.]

I'm the best for, like, you know, everything I have, I got a share and tell and.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

But, you know, I'll show my buddy, like, a movie or so, or like a YouTube clip, and if I look over and they're texting or, like, look at, like, I go crazy. Like, I'm like, dude, I'm showing.

[Tom Segura]

I'm showing you. Yes, I want you to. It also makes me crazy when somebody goes, this is really funny. And they send it to me, and I go, this made you laugh? Oh, no.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, that would drive me crazy.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Wasn't it funny?

[Christina P.]

But you're honest. I think that's the good part of that.

[Jeff Dye]

You know what, Jeff? I'm the opposite with Tom. Whenever I'm really into a show or something, I want to hide it and conceal it from him because.

[Christina P.]

Is this real?

[Jeff Dye]

Yes.

[Christina P.]

Okay.

[Jeff Dye]

Because I fear his mockery and derision. He hates every. Like. He'll be like, kind of fucking gay. Shit. Are you watching now?

[Tom Segura]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's not accurate.

[Jeff Dye]

It's an 18th century period.

[Tom Segura]

Can I tell you something? A lot of this is in your head.

[Jeff Dye]

You think so?

[Tom Segura]

I don't think so.

[Jeff Dye]

I know you've said it before. You're like, what if I should give.

[Christina P.]

Him an example of something?

[Tom Segura]

Here's my point. If you say, your honor, let's go through my nephew. If you say something, all of her, she goes, that is. That's an always. Like, no, I said something one time, right?

[Christina P.]

What was the one thing he said that he hated that was gay shit she was watching?

[Tom Segura]

I don't know.

[Christina P.]

What do you watch? Like, some girl, like, girls like shows that men.

[Tom Segura]

She loves period pieces.

[Christina P.]

And it's tough for us to understand love.

[Jeff Dye]

But Jeff, I understand that some of it sucks. For instance, I love Bridgerton. I'm aware how gay that is and how much it sucks. I'm aware. And I let him know, hey, I'm watching something stupid. Don't shame me for this right now. I'm enjoying something stupid.

[Christina P.]

Right.

[Tom Segura]

I love that she finds a show that she loves because I think it's a great feeling when you find.

[Jeff Dye]

But sometimes he'll like my dumb girl stuff.

[Tom Segura]

She got me into Downton Abbey, and I think that's one of the best. It's a period piece as well.

[Christina P.]

Never saw it. It looks like some gay shit.

[Tom Segura]

It's. Here's the thing. It does. It is phenomenal.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah. It'll make you want to bust.

[Tom Segura]

The writing is top tier. The acting's incredible out there.

[Jeff Dye]

It's great.

[Tom Segura]

It's.

[Christina P.]

Well, me and Bert were talking about this recently. Like, on his thing was like, I am pretty easy to convince, too. I'm like, I'm not watching this shit. And then you just go. Just watch, like, an episode. And then I'm like, all right. I mean, and then I'll watch the who thing.

[Tom Segura]

That one's fantastic.

[Christina P.]

Pretty. But I'm like, I'm a judge it at first, and then I'm an easy seller.

[Tom Segura]

And you probably look. If I sat down and watched it, I don't know if I'd like it, but if I. If it's good, if it's quality quote. Like, the thing about television and movies is there can be genres that you're drawn to and you're not, but if something actually is great.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

It's the same with sports, right? There's sports that I'm like, yeah, I'm not really into this. If you show me, I don't know, a World cup game.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

The drama, the stakes, the best players. I'm like, oh, I'm in. It's the highest level. So, yeah, it's just, you know.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, that's true. You still hate my music, I think.

[Tom Segura]

I don't hate your music.

[Jeff Dye]

Really? I thought you hate goth music.

[Christina P.]

What is that, Bauhaus? What is goth music?

[Tom Segura]

It's really incredible.

[Christina P.]

I've never heard of any of this.

[Tom Segura]

I've never met somebody quite like her, too. You know, people have. People have a favorite band Sometimes. And you're like, okay.

[Christina P.]

And I just learned about a genre of music I didn't even know. I thought goth was, like, some teenagers I picked on in school.

[Tom Segura]

It's so funny to me how devoted she is that it's kind of amusing because, like I said, you know, like, I like, diff some different genres of music. I don't think I have a favorite, like, one group, but, like, you know, I'll listen to different things with her. She's like, oh, I love Bauhaus. Right? This.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, I've never heard of that either.

[Tom Segura]

I can't tell you how many times I walk by her closet and I just hear her go, hey, Siri. Or, hey, Alex, whatever. Play Bauhaus. It's like hundreds of times. I'm like, God damn. You really want to hear this every day.

[Christina P.]

Is that a band or is it a. It's a genre. Oh, Bauhaus is the band.

[Tom Segura]

That's the band.

[Jeff Dye]

Interesting. After Tom says he never.

[Tom Segura]

You told Siri to play it.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, that's not Bauhaus. That is not Bauhaus.

[Christina P.]

It's not mine.

[Tom Segura]

That's my phone. Yeah, Tom, it's yours because you said.

[Jeff Dye]

Hey, Siri.

[Tom Segura]

Sheeran came on one.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, that's definitely not Bauhaus.

[Tom Segura]

What's the song name? Maybe it's that.

[Jeff Dye]

No, nothing close.

[Tom Segura]

Stop the Rain.

[Jeff Dye]

That's super.

[Tom Segura]

All right. But I'll tell you this. I'll tell you this. I like Ed Sheeran. Stop.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, I like Ed Sheeran.

[Jeff Dye]

But you see how he criticized my band just now after. After he was like, oh, I don't criticize anything. And that's, like, my favorite.

[Christina P.]

Well, I don't think he said he doesn't criticize anything.

[Jeff Dye]

He's not even listening to.

[Tom Segura]

I am. I'm seeing. What the hell happened?

[Jeff Dye]

What happened was it brought up the gay you were listening to on the way in. That's what happened.

[Christina P.]

I do feel like women watch, like, and, like, things that are. And it always is a great balance when a man likes sports. Do you like sports?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Okay. Yeah. Because then you go. See how you don't like this. And I'm really into this. I get that. That's what your shit is.

[Tom Segura]

That's what I'm saying. That's great, right? Yeah.

[Christina P.]

100% for her football.

[Tom Segura]

She's like, is it still on? I'm like, yes. The fucking second quarter.

[Jeff Dye]

Four hours.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, they're long.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

And then the espn, shorter than Marvel movies.

[Christina P.]

I'll tell you.

[Tom Segura]

That's what happens on the show.

[Jeff Dye]

And they got to talk about the guys, the guy. Old retired fat athletes sit around the table, and then they talk about the shit they just saw. And then it's. Well, no, my favorites. The press conference where the dejected, sad coach is like, we should have tried harder.

[Christina P.]

I know we didn't try as hard.

[Jeff Dye]

As we should have tried. We're gonna do better.

[Tom Segura]

Because I've never heard it through this, and it actually is very funny. The funniest one is, like, you know the shows where they recap games? She's like, are they talking about the game you just watched? And I'm like, yeah, it's just like, five guys who are like, they should have held on the bulb and they laugh at their dumb. I was like, until you pointed that out, I just thought this was totally normal.

[Christina P.]

It is normal to us. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I was like, no, it's super late.

[Jeff Dye]

But what is it you guys like reliving? What? You like reliving the high moments.

[Tom Segura]

You cared about the game, right. So you have to have an emotional investment some to. Otherwise, why are you. If you don't give a shit?

[Christina P.]

It also reminds me what happened.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, reminds you.

[Christina P.]

Sounds really lazy. But I'm like, oh, yeah, that happened in the first quarter.

[Jeff Dye]

There's a lot going on.

[Tom Segura]

You lost, right. You're like, how? Why did we fucking lose? And then these guys are talking about why.

[Christina P.]

And we like to believe that they know more than us. Like, oh, sure played for the steelers in the 70s. Sure have a better idea of what happened. Also, Tom might not admit this. I don't know if I really will admit it, but I think maybe some people like to then regurgitate what those old athletes said later. Like the next day at work, like.

[Tom Segura]

You know, becomes your point of view.

[Christina P.]

Right?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Because you go, I agree with that. I will now absorb that. And then I will say that, like.

[Tom Segura]

I thought of it.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Yeah. Because I don't know a lot about sports. As much as I love sports. My heart for sports is bigger than my brain for sports.

[Tom Segura]

Right.

[Jeff Dye]

So. But. But why the game?

[Tom Segura]

Can't convert third downs. I mean, how are we gonna.

[Christina P.]

Exactly. I'll say stuff like, I mean, are you gonna. That was more of a great defensive play than it was a bad intercept.

[Tom Segura]

You know, someone's like, that's your thought. You're like, yeah, yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

But then why. Why the press conference? To shame the losing coach. And he. They never say anything.

[Tom Segura]

It's. It's. First of all, they're contractually obligated to.

[Christina P.]

Do it, which I think is dog shit. Let's start. I agree with you on this one. Let's stop interviewing athletes and coaches who have had media training. They give them training to teach them to not say anything.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Then we interview them. And I'm, like, friends with some journalists who won't like this take. But, like, the only time an athlete is interesting and it goes, like, viral is if the player screws up and then the player gets fined for saying something.

[Tom Segura]

Yes. It's the best.

[Christina P.]

They're, like, capitalizing on, like, look, he screwed up. He said a thing he shouldn't have.

[Tom Segura]

It's why the UFC is amazing. Amazing.

[Christina P.]

Because I love that they're allowed to say anything.

[Tom Segura]

They say anything. And Dana White is amazing.

[Christina P.]

He encourages it. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And he also is like that.

[Christina P.]

Right.

[Jeff Dye]

Because that's great.

[Tom Segura]

All the other commissioners, like, can you believe these.

[Christina P.]

Like, you own this league. You're. You run this.

[Tom Segura]

The other guys are terrible. They're. They're literally, like, talking to the. Like, the. The. Roger Goodell is like the CEO of Coca Cola. Yeah. I mean, like, he's not gonna say anything interesting ever.

[Christina P.]

Correct.

[Tom Segura]

It's just like. And as an organization, we are committed to making their communities better. And you're like, okay. Like, Dana is just like, you want to see that fucking fight? I want to see that shit. Cool.

[Christina P.]

Well, that's why I used to say, before Donald Trump, I used to always talk about how, like, why would you even want a politician on your podcast? Because, like, when Obama did wtf, I was like, barack Obama is on your. Went into Marc Maron's cat infested garage in Silver Lake or wherever.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

I couldn't believe it. And then you listen to the episode, you're like, oh, yeah, he's the president. He can't just get on there and be like, you know, Slobodan Milosevic is a psycho. Listen to this story. He can't. He's the president now.

[Tom Segura]

He does better interviews. I've seen clips of him like, he did. What is it? Like, Ryan Clark and Channing Crowder's podcast and those. The way he was speaking, you're like, oh, this is a guy who's not in office anymore.

[Christina P.]

Right. And those. That's great.

[Tom Segura]

And he was funny on that and interesting. And because he's an ex president. Right, right. So, yeah, most of the time, no one's like, Trump. Where.

[Christina P.]

Well, that's why he kind of broke the mold of which I don't even think we'll just call people fat.

[Tom Segura]

I don't think we'll see that again. I don't think the next few presidents crazy like that.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. If Barack Obama would have called a woman fat, like, it would have been the worst thing, like, for his life ever. Like, it would have. Like, he would have tailspin. But if you. If I told you, you know, Donald Trump calls him lady fat, you guys go, yeah, yeah, he does that all the time.

[Tom Segura]

Tuesday.

[Christina P.]

That's what he does, dude.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

I don't. I think we're gonna see more of it, not less.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I don't think. I think people will try. There's something that he has, like a. It's just like a mix of qualities that allows him. Look, you can find a hundred things he's. He's said that would have ended people.

[Christina P.]

Anyone else.

[Tom Segura]

I think part of it is, is the source. People are just like, this is.

[Christina P.]

I think the only reason Trump won and, like, won the popular vote and all this stuff is because he wasn't a politician. Now, if any other person was running that wasn't a politician, they would have won instead.

[Tom Segura]

Right.

[Christina P.]

That's why I think we'll see more of it maybe.

[Tom Segura]

Maybe if it's another non politician. That's what we need to get into politics with that. You have to, like, come from the outside.

[Christina P.]

And politics used to be they'd come to your town right before the Internet. They'd come to your town and go, you guys like guns? Oh, hey, guns are good. We're gonna. And they go to the next town and they say, what do you guys think? We hate guys. They go, we're gonna get rid of guns. But now with the Internet.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. You can't.

[Christina P.]

You can see that a politician will say a thing and then you'll go, but they just said a different thing in this. And now we can compare it. We have reels. We have social media. We have. And so, like, the age of being a politician where you just kind of say what works is it's over.

[Tom Segura]

You got to be authentic.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Authentically yourself. That's the other thing is that he's not. I don't think he's, like, putting one on when he does that. That's who he is.

[Christina P.]

I think so, too. And I think that, like, that. Not to confuse that with being honest, but it is. He's not telling different stories in different places is all.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

He's coming with his flaws and his things right there. And you go, all right, I do. Like, we know what we're getting.

[Jeff Dye]

I like that he lost Weight. And I like that he's not as orange. And I like.

[Christina P.]

And like my crazy neighbor.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, yeah.

[Christina P.]

You want to talk politics? I like that he lost weight and he's orange.

[Jeff Dye]

Hey, that's what we care about at your mom's house, okay? We don't talk politics.

[Tom Segura]

He did. He did.

[Jeff Dye]

He did. He looks much better.

[Tom Segura]

He does.

[Jeff Dye]

And I think he's actually toned it down a bit, it seems to me, since the last. I think he's calmed down a bit.

[Christina P.]

And after they tried to murder him, after the FBI tried to kill him. Yeah. Now he's like, all right, I'll, you know, lay low a little ways.

[Jeff Dye]

I think he did the Ozempies.

[Christina P.]

Think So.

[Jeff Dye]

Of course.

[Tom Segura]

78.

[Jeff Dye]

Of course. I mean, he's great.

[Christina P.]

He eats McDonald's.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, exactly.

[Christina P.]

Three times a day. So, yeah, maybe he did take some.

[Tom Segura]

He likes kfc, ufc.

[Christina P.]

I mean, I don't know much about Ozempic. Everyone talks about it. It's in everyone's act.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, it's great.

[Christina P.]

I know nothing about you. On it.

[Jeff Dye]

Back on it.

[Christina P.]

Are you.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, yeah.

[Christina P.]

Are there any negatives?

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, it's harder to. If you take too much, it'll back.

[Tom Segura]

Up your COD ones.

[Christina P.]

Like her honesty. I like this guy.

[Jeff Dye]

I OD'd once, but it just made me lose a lot, like, a lot more weight that week, so it was kind of a win. Win.

[Christina P.]

Big whoop.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah. Big whoop.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

What are we splitting hairs here? You want to lose the weight, right?

[Jeff Dye]

I mean, if you're healthy, that's, like, the only drawback is that you can't poop as easily, but take some stool stuff.

[Christina P.]

Oh, yeah. And it's easy to get.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah. You just have to have one of those, like, dog. Fancy doctors.

[Christina P.]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Or fancy doc.

[Christina P.]

I don't want.

[Jeff Dye]

I don't know if it's covered by insurance, so I think you have to pay out of pocket, you know?

[Christina P.]

Okay. Yeah. It's funny.

[Jeff Dye]

You don't need it, though. What do you. What do you.

[Christina P.]

I'm just curious about it. Everyone talks about it.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, yeah?

[Christina P.]

Yeah. I'll be with, like, someone, you know, and they'll say, I think your friend took us up, because I don't even.

[Jeff Dye]

Know what that means, but most people don't take.

[Christina P.]

Really?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. He was, like, pre diabetic. He's like 285, and he took it and lost some weight.

[Christina P.]

Interesting.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, but they don't just take Ozempic. There's different types that you can get on, but it's all called that People just call it Ozempic, huh? Yeah, it's pretty great. Especially for us middle aged.

[Tom Segura]

I want to show you something. You tell me whether this is horrible or hilarious to you.

[Christina P.]

Okay. It's probably gonna be both those.

[Tom Segura]

Those overlap, but sometimes. Here we go.

[Christina P.]

I've got a. Interesting humor.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, okay.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, that's a good one.

[Jeff Dye]

Idiot.

[Christina P.]

Is his hand missing?

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, that's his fault.

[Christina P.]

That's amazing. Yeah, Yeah, I really like it.

[Tom Segura]

That's pretty good.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, I like these kind of Darwinistic like well what you expect kind of stuff. Like. Did you guys see Chimp Crazy on hbo? No, it's this. It's the people from the guy who made Tiger King made a movie or made a doc series about the same kind of thing instead of with cat people. It's people that have monkeys and chimps.

[Tom Segura]

Wow.

[Christina P.]

It's. You'll love it.

[Tom Segura]

What's it called?

[Christina P.]

It's called Chimp Crazy. Oh, wow. It's just as good as Tiger King. But now we're not in a pandemic, so everyone's not.

[Tom Segura]

Chimps. When they feel the need to be aggressive, will do almost always the same things. First to a male, because they identify that you're male, they'll bite your fingers off because they know that these are your kind of weapons. And they'll rip your testicles off.

[Christina P.]

Yep.

[Tom Segura]

And then they usually will pull your jaw out and they can pull strips of skin off of your back. Like it's just pieces.

[Christina P.]

The only reason I know all this is because of Chimp Crazy. They go through everything. Travis, the chimp who fucked up that lady, like they go through all this. It made me hate monkeys too. They're kind of gross to me now or hey, made me hate chimps. But I'm sure why I brought that up. Oh, because of the guy that bombed his hand off, right?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

So for this it's like, listen, if this dumb lady needs to keep a bunch of gross chimps locked up to be happy, good for her. I don't give a lock up these ugly non working Hollywood monkeys. Right? But if those monkeys rip her fucking face off and she looks like some ghoul on the Oprah Winfrey Show, I'm fine with that too. I don't care about either. I don't give a fuck about these monkeys or this dumb lady. And so like, I feel like that's kind of like the bomb in the hand. You want to go shoot a bomb.

[Tom Segura]

Off at the lake, then go for it, do it.

[Christina P.]

But also when your hand blows off, I Go. That's hilarious. Yeah, man. That's what you get.

[Tom Segura]

You set this up. That was 200 grams of ammonium nitrate and nitro is it methane has a detonation velocity of what is it? 58 km a second. The person basically made a bomb leading to his hand. Blame blown straight off. The ammonium nitrate was used in World War I to make low cost explosive dynamite. His hand is gone. And it took second seven weeks to recover.

[Christina P.]

Also. Go back to the front. The beginning of the video.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Look how happy he is. And when he's looking back, like he's like. Look at him looking back. Like he's really trying to impress everybody. Like, check this out. Oh, God.

[Tom Segura]

I like the scream. The screams are always good.

[Christina P.]

Very guttural.

[Jeff Dye]

You gotta know how to light an explosive.

[Christina P.]

I mean, well, how do you like that?

[Jeff Dye]

Don't. Don't they teach you that? Like you don't hold it in the hand.

[Tom Segura]

So maybe just try to get like a super long wick.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, like Looney Tunes, right? Like we all learn.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah. Or put the thing down. And then, you know, I. I just.

[Tom Segura]

That's the kind of thing, though, part of me, like, I go, that's hilarious. And then I always just think about our boys and I'm like, I know.

[Christina P.]

Oh, they're gonna have a thing.

[Jeff Dye]

We got to show them this.

[Christina P.]

I've learned that with my sisters. Sisters will have like bickering between mom. Like, they'll go through these wars.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Where like one girl will be mean to mom, will be mean back. It's this weird female battle. But with boys, it's always some big one thing.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

They get arrested or they knock up a girl or they beat up a kid in school who's gay. And there's whole, you know, some weird thing, you know, some big thing, you know, just for.

[Tom Segura]

Just for being alive and gay.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Time to offense. And now you can't go to Colorado anymore or Wyoming or whatever. What was it gonna say about that? What country was this in?

[Tom Segura]

It feels Russian.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it does. Let's see if it.

[Christina P.]

Because this is normal. If it's Russian.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah. To get your hands on that too.

[Tom Segura]

It was Slovakia. So on the way. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Nearby.

[Tom Segura]

Here's another one. Let's see if this makes you laugh.

[Jeff Dye]

I don't like these.

[Christina P.]

Oh, God. I didn't even know that was possible. New fear unlocked.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah. You've never seen Peck tears like that made me.

[Christina P.]

That didn't like that.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that was.

[Christina P.]

He didn't ask for that.

[Tom Segura]

That counts as horrible.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, he didn't ask for that. No, he just weightlifted. Yeah, he's not some jackass. He's just a cute guy trying to. Just some super hot guy.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, but see, look at us. I don't know. He's got four plates on there. Maybe because he was exceeding, you know.

[Christina P.]

I mean, barking up the wrong tree.

[Tom Segura]

It was like, hey, dude, if you try to flex for the camera sometimes.

[Christina P.]

Maybe that could be it.

[Tom Segura]

I know.

[Jeff Dye]

I like that. Okay, let's go check it out.

[Christina P.]

Oh, I've seen that. I love that. Oh, you don't have the Aftermath. Classic.

[Tom Segura]

All the Aftermath videos. Great.

[Jeff Dye]

I like that one.

[Tom Segura]

You gotta have the Aftermath.

[Christina P.]

I loved that. But this one's a mix of the two. She wasn't asking for it, but I still like it.

[Tom Segura]

I know. Yeah, she had a great sense of humor because she put out the Aftermath video, I think, in the same exact area.

[Christina P.]

What could be the Aftermath? Like, how bad could it be?

[Tom Segura]

Just. Oh, it's bad, dude.

[Christina P.]

Really?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Her face hit that platform really hard.

[Christina P.]

It seems like it'd be kind of a. Just an embarrassing one. Bruises or something.

[Jeff Dye]

But she was trying to be like an influencer and say something.

[Tom Segura]

Come to Fiji playing like, hey, check this out. And she hit that shit so hard face first. Yeah. You know, that wasn't tough one. You guys don't have it.

[Christina P.]

I'm looking for it.

[Tom Segura]

Bad work.

[Christina P.]

Something about beautiful women getting hurt makes me happier.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, I was gonna say the opposite.

[Christina P.]

No, it makes me happy because, like.

[Tom Segura]

It happens to them, too.

[Christina P.]

They're so. Like, we're so beautiful.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And so to, like, see, it makes it that much more funny.

[Jeff Dye]

But don't you feel sadder when attractive people get hurt versus unattractive people? I feel like, what a way. She's like this cute little.

[Christina P.]

What a waste.

[Jeff Dye]

What if we messed up her teeth?

[Christina P.]

You know, I don't know what it is about it, because there's to be an Instagram account that I followed. It got banned, but it was called Girls Getting Hurt. And I'd send it to my buddy. You get so mad at me because he'd be like, stop. Do you hate women? Why are you sending me this? I was like, it's just funny.

[Tom Segura]

It's funny.

[Christina P.]

It's just funny. To me, it's funny.

[Tom Segura]

I think it's amusing, too, because you know that somebody has an easier life just by being attractive, right?

[Christina P.]

So when they're protected, we protect.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, we protect them.

[Christina P.]

And there are, like, these, you know, like. Like, I don't know, it's like squishing a flower or something. There's something kind of rebellious about it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, there is. There is. All right, well, here's the next one.

[Christina P.]

Sorry, I keep talking too much during these. Oh, that's a drunk.

[Jeff Dye]

That's a good one.

[Christina P.]

The good thing is she won't feel that. Yeah. Oh, she's not gonna. She had to check a ring. Camera, go. That's why my butt hurts.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, God, that's.

[Jeff Dye]

That sucks so bad.

[Christina P.]

Everything that she owns, though, made it on the patio. Like, made it on the porch.

[Jeff Dye]

Look up. But she's not.

[Christina P.]

Oh, cigarettes, keys, wall.

[Tom Segura]

It all fell perfect perfectly. Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

And her tailbone is shattered.

[Christina P.]

Although she's got some cushion.

[Jeff Dye]

She does.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Big butt.

[Tom Segura]

That is. That's a good one.

[Jeff Dye]

Fuck. I could see.

[Christina P.]

Hilarious.

[Tom Segura]

That was hilarious. That's all we got today.

[Christina P.]

That's it.

[Tom Segura]

That's it, man. Those are the four of the day. Sometimes they're great.

[Christina P.]

Do you ever show, like, deaths?

[Jeff Dye]

No.

[Tom Segura]

I mean, it's happened. And try not to, like, go, like, here's 10 people dying.

[Christina P.]

Your guest is like, what the fuck?

[Tom Segura]

I feel like the. Like, the face plant stuff is kind of this lady that.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. You know, we've had harmless fun.

[Tom Segura]

Harmless fun. Sometimes we're like, hey, here's a workplace accident. And you're like, those are.

[Christina P.]

Here's a shooting at a volleyball game. Like, what the.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, the workplace injuries are the worst because those people don't want to be there anyway, you know?

[Christina P.]

Like, what, Like a forklift dropped in, like, 9 million bottles of Coke or.

[Jeff Dye]

Just, like, some kind of spinning machine will get caught in. And you're like, oh, dude, that poor guy.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, those are brutal, too. I always wonder about those. Like, how do we know which ones are alive still?

[Tom Segura]

Especially when they're like. Like, the China ones and the Russian ones, they're just always like, that machinery.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. They're just posting the video.

[Tom Segura]

Like, look at this. They don't have, like, an osha, like, standard.

[Christina P.]

It's like, when a robot dies here, they just go. It says it's one of our employees.

[Tom Segura]

We've seen some China workplace ones where, like, there's a pressure valve and a guy just explodes. Like, his body just explodes. And they're in China. They're just like, yeah, they put it out.

[Christina P.]

They go, did this person live? They go, what do you think, dude?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's it. Just go to work.

[Christina P.]

You want to see the video or what?

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You want to show them your.

[Jeff Dye]

Yes. I know. You don't like tik tok. But I like to curate Tik tok. Oh, okay. I, I, I curate them. The marginal people, the underrepresented people, the people without voices.

[Christina P.]

I like that. What a hero.

[Jeff Dye]

Yes, I am. This is for you.

[Christina P.]

When a woman dies, do I pull out their tampons? So, yes, as an autopsy tech, he answered himself.

[Tom Segura]

I'll remove that if you have one in. Because I got to remove all the stuff from the inside. Inside all that comes out.

[Christina P.]

Don't do that with your hands. So there's a tampon in there that comes out too?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, you're welcome. I don't want you to, like, spend eternity with one of those in there.

[Christina P.]

Don't you get, like, sick or something.

[Tom Segura]

If one stays in too long? We don't want that happening.

[Jeff Dye]

We don't want. I got you.

[Christina P.]

I'll remove everything.

[Tom Segura]

Everything gets removed. Got it? I'll throw that away.

[Christina P.]

All your pieces will get put in a bag, and then the bag will.

[Tom Segura]

Be put in your belly.

[Christina P.]

So you'll get to keep everything except for that tampon.

[Tom Segura]

I'll throw it away.

[Christina P.]

I'll put it in the red, red bin. We'll get rid of it.

[Jeff Dye]

Something tells me he's over explaining.

[Tom Segura]

I do that for you.

[Jeff Dye]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

He's got him. Because he's got a.

[Jeff Dye]

He keeps.

[Tom Segura]

Jesus.

[Jeff Dye]

He keeps the tampons.

[Tom Segura]

But I like that he has a sense of humor about this.

[Jeff Dye]

I know the best. So he, he does what he's saying. He's the autopsy or the coroner. He whatever the it is. Who takes the body parts out?

[Christina P.]

Yeah, coroner.

[Jeff Dye]

The. He does that, and he answers all people. People's questions on Tick Tock.

[Tom Segura]

Interesting.

[Jeff Dye]

It is interesting.

[Christina P.]

Is there any sort of. Because you said you like to talk about them underrepresented on these things.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Is there, like a channel that you watch or anything on YouTube where you're like, I wish more people knew about this?

[Tom Segura]

Do you? I.

[Jeff Dye]

No.

[Christina P.]

Because I watched some stuff where people come over, they can watch this, and I go, yeah, this guy rules. Or this person.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, what it. No. What are you into?

[Christina P.]

Like, there's a channel called Decoy Voice, which is like a great political channel, but then there's one called Mukbang Mermaid.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, well, those are on the talk.

[Christina P.]

You know mukbang?

[Jeff Dye]

Of course I know mukbang.

[Christina P.]

Do you know Mukbang Mermaid?

[Jeff Dye]

I do not.

[Christina P.]

This is a person doing mukbang, which I just learned what that is. I thought this was just the name of this character, Mukbang Mermaid. I thought that was Like a funny name she put before mermaid. But she wears like this terrifying mask and eats foods. But she's doing this great character and the mask is so that's her mukbang mermaid. But she's comedically brilliant. Whoever's in that costume is crushing it because it's very funny.

[Jeff Dye]

I love that. This kind of scary television.

[Christina P.]

It is scary.

[Jeff Dye]

I love it. This is more interesting to me than most.

[Christina P.]

Nice. See, this is my. Right here. Look at this guy.

[Tom Segura]

Oh my God.

[Jeff Dye]

Your POV when dating a 6 foot 5, 300 pound caveman like me. So this is just like the hornier side of talk, right?

[Tom Segura]

This is real.

[Christina P.]

Why an index finger for that?

[Tom Segura]

Think he just can't show you what.

[Christina P.]

He wants to show you, but just an index finger. And he's bragging about being £300 caveman.

[Tom Segura]

Well, he's giving you the POV for sure. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, it is.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

That is terrible.

[Tom Segura]

Maybe the index finger is the perfect.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, maybe that is.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

He's being honest.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. I like if you are a Covid conscious queer.

[Jeff Dye]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

I should say a co conscious person. Like someone who wears a mask. Don't scroll because this is like literally life saving advice. Cuz if you've just been like opening up your bifold, popping it on, squeezing it on your nose and going incorrect, it doesn't actually create a proper seal because this is a V shape which.

[Jeff Dye]

Is like not the shape of your nose.

[Tom Segura]

What you actually want to do kind of switch this V shape into a U shape. So how to do that is flatten it so it's like flat like this. And then use your finger and mold it so that you get like this round shape.

[Christina P.]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

Pop that on and squeeze it just as you would.

[Christina P.]

Okay, great.

[Tom Segura]

And you'll notice you get a way better seal. This is huge for me. Like, I didn't know I'd been wearing them wrong. This is also supposed to be really helpful for fogging your glasses. Yeah, I just want to.

[Christina P.]

Does everyone on the Internet live in their car? You look at you guys, you got the. This great. You know, you shoot a thing and if you want to shoot an opinion about something, you might walk around.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Why is everyone in their goddamn car?

[Tom Segura]

Most people don't have. Really don't have a space anywhere they could do this. I think that a lot of people are like, where can I go? That I can sit and talk and they can be quiet.

[Jeff Dye]

That's true. It's good for sound.

[Tom Segura]

It's my car.

[Christina P.]

Really?

[Tom Segura]

I think so.

[Christina P.]

It drives me nuts. I Can't hear to anyone's opinion if you're sitting in a. Totally.

[Tom Segura]

Right. It's always a car. Car. Yeah, it is.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. It drives me nuts. Well, I saw, like, I. Because now my algorithm is insane.

[Tom Segura]

You know, it's.

[Christina P.]

I got the best curated algorithm for what I like. But you'll see, like, a girl being like, I'm gonna eat this whole pizza. And you're like, in your car.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. You have to do that in the car.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, maybe I do a lot.

[Tom Segura]

Picnic table.

[Christina P.]

You do? You film ones?

[Jeff Dye]

I do. I film, yes. Because sometimes, like, I was criticizing you. No, no, no, I don't mind. I. I'll be in carpool lane, like, waiting to pick up the kid or something, and I'll be like, oh, I should do this now, because I only have this much free time. I also like to eat in my car a lot.

[Tom Segura]

I do everything as a. As a Covid conscious queer.

[Christina P.]

Exactly. Can you believe that's not an insult? That sounds like something I'd yell at her. What do you want? A Covid conscious queer? But no, it's her identity.

[Tom Segura]

At least. She was like, well, anybody, really? Let's go.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, she went back. If you're a conscious human, she's inclusive.

[Jeff Dye]

But I do appreciate the lengthy explanation. Obnoxious explanation.

[Christina P.]

She thinks it's really informative.

[Jeff Dye]

She's letting us know.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

She thinks she's helping as hard as she could.

[Tom Segura]

And she went.

[Christina P.]

Oh, we're definitely filming.

[Jeff Dye]

The ass pan down.

[Tom Segura]

And she's.

[Christina P.]

Oh, and the person didn't.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, that's cool.

[Tom Segura]

It's a world. She's a world class marathon runner, this lady. I saw this story. She's like, yeah, top tier. She finished like in the top three on the. On this one. And. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Which, correct me if I'm wrong, that's a common thing, to shit yourself.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Especially for the best in the world. Right?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I think.

[Jeff Dye]

But you think the best in the world would evacuate their bowels before the raving?

[Christina P.]

I think they have to.

[Tom Segura]

Still.

[Jeff Dye]

It's still.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Because don't forget, she's running at least 26.

[Christina P.]

Do you know why it's called a marathon? I just learned this.

[Jeff Dye]

No, no.

[Christina P.]

When the Greeks slaughtered all the Persians. You know that movie 300. That really happened. Happened. Not as cool, but it happened. A guy ran back to let everyone know that Greek was victorious. And he ran, you know, an estimated like 26 miles to let everyone know, and he died from fatigue from that run to let everyone know that the Greeks were victorious and that Was the battle of Marathon.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, no idea.

[Jeff Dye]

Very cool.

[Tom Segura]

That's very cool, actually.

[Jeff Dye]

Thank you. That's the smartest thing anybody's ever said on, like, most.

[Tom Segura]

I love learning.

[Christina P.]

I think that history is the best thing to know for comedy.

[Jeff Dye]

It is. Would help.

[Tom Segura]

It helps.

[Christina P.]

It wasn't funny right now, but, you know, I like it.

[Tom Segura]

No, I think it. I think it actually does inform.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, yeah. It gives you knowing things. People like, you'll reference a war and they go, what are you talking about? You go, you don't know this.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Makes you look smart.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

It makes you feel smart.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And then you can weave in the dumbest. Cuz you said something.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. Whoa. Who knew that was in there so good, huh?

[Tom Segura]

This is like a. Oh, this is like a DIY talk.

[Jeff Dye]

Well, yeah, it's kind of on the coattails of horrible or hilarious.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

What do you think?

[Tom Segura]

It's very funny.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. That's great. Also. Why is he doing his own demo?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, save a few bucks. He's like, I can do this myself.

[Jeff Dye]

So bad. Don't do this.

[Christina P.]

Hopefully I just got his pants.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah.

[Christina P.]

I wish women knew the feeling of getting nut tapped.

[Tom Segura]

There's no way. You can never explain it. You really can't.

[Christina P.]

Like, all right, that.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. You're like. You'd feel that and there's a delay.

[Christina P.]

I mean, of course you'd feel it. It would hurt you is what I'm saying. Like that. That fragile.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Would hurt you.

[Jeff Dye]

I believe those are fragile bits.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

Those are carrying also.

[Christina P.]

When I was young, I got hit in the nuts a lot. I feel like it happened like once a day, minimum. And now that I'm an adult, it never happens, but like, as a kid, all the time.

[Jeff Dye]

And it's good. It's when you're forming.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

Probably helping growing that first load. I'll give you a million bucks. Can you understand what's happening here? Do you have any idea what you just heard?

[Tom Segura]

No. German.

[Jeff Dye]

This isn't. It's German spoken by an Irishman, so he's got that accent. Which German's hard enough?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah, he's got the Irish.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah. Isn't that great?

[Tom Segura]

That's great.

[Jeff Dye]

I thought that was pretty amazing.

[Tom Segura]

It's a good talk. Good pool, Right.

[Christina P.]

Do we know what he was talking about?

[Jeff Dye]

Sports. I should have won, but I didn't win.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, exactly.

[Jeff Dye]

We're gonna try harder.

[Tom Segura]

Look at that.

[Jeff Dye]

This is a water sliding, dude.

[Christina P.]

Never. Never.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

That's insane.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, that. Right.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, that's why we got the tube at the top part for, like, at Wild West.

[Tom Segura]

That would be, like, week one. Somebody would fly off of that.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Be like, it's shut down.

[Christina P.]

So I know Bert would do this bullshit, but would you do this? A slide like that?

[Tom Segura]

No, thanks.

[Christina P.]

I mean, I don't. I couldn't do it. Well, actually, I could if you had me.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Segura]

I just feel like my take.

[Christina P.]

The right circle goes right off of it. Right, kids? Such a good career. Ruined it all to the stupid water Greek slide. That is insane, though.

[Tom Segura]

Getting work done.

[Jeff Dye]

I don't think he's working.

[Tom Segura]

I think he's playing video games under the desk. You up for it?

[Christina P.]

What does that mean?

[Tom Segura]

Who wants to suck me off?

[Christina P.]

I know what it means, but I mean, like, why would he think that's gonna help him work or whatever? I don't know. He's talking again.

[Tom Segura]

Being gays. Awesome.

[Jeff Dye]

Is this for gays or for. Yeah. No woman's gonna be like, let me jump under the.

[Tom Segura]

This guy's straight. He has never interacted with him.

[Christina P.]

Right. And it's not gonna work. Yeah. But gay guy for sure.

[Jeff Dye]

But he's got his pilot headgear on. He's playing a video game. No.

[Tom Segura]

And you can't be entirely sure until working remote. This shot lets you know that he's gay because the armpit.

[Jeff Dye]

You're right. And this babe, apropos the earlier discussion.

[Tom Segura]

The armpit is like. You guys like that? Really? Some guy's like. Yeah. Love smelling armpits.

[Christina P.]

Gross. Oh, what the. Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

It's such a gay pose.

[Tom Segura]

Isn't that a gay. We're talking about, Lou.

[Christina P.]

There's no way that's him, right? Is it him?

[Jeff Dye]

That's him.

[Tom Segura]

I think that's him.

[Christina P.]

No wonder everyone's so into this guy.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. But also, isn't that pose. The arm up to me and the panties down.

[Christina P.]

Also, this. This is a strong move by whoever censored the.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Because they make the bar super long.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

You know, smart.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, it is smart.

[Christina P.]

Wait, what were you guys. Oh, the. The arm thing. Well.

[Jeff Dye]

And the panties down under his knees. That's such kind of a gay guy thing. No. This episode's been so gay heavy. We're so lit. So many gay guys.

[Tom Segura]

So.

[Christina P.]

Well, just talking about. Talking about. They're. They're a community that deserves representation.

[Jeff Dye]

That's right. They're marginalized.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. We're trying to show.

[Christina P.]

I love America's most extreme fright experiences alone. Called the 17th door. The objective is you work your way through 17 doors and rooms with each one getting progressively more intense, eventually leading to the crazy 17th door as it includes all these things. Along the way you have to sign a waiver and recite. You signed it to a bunch of cameras to get the light to enter in you sooner in the barber shop where they chop or shave your hair. And then into this room full of spiders and cubicles with cushions that influence late. Keeping your arms at your side as the tarantulas are placed on your face. Navigate through the tight corridors as characters with electric devices chase you.

[Jeff Dye]

You run away into a room that.

[Christina P.]

Starts rotating upside down with acrobatic clowns. After you dodge chickens before they seal you into these tight below freezing misty chambers for about a minute, you go through another electric room where the charged ceiling starts dropping down on you before heading through this door where cockroaches are placed on you and in your clothes. Next is the 32nd tight hug from this big latex sheet and a few wild rooms completed later. You move into the party room where you begin to celebrate making it before being buried above the head deep in balls. I wasn't the only one that made it out though as I found this little guy in my pocket way after finishing.

[Tom Segura]

That is an experience. I can see how this could be some people's favorite thing. You know, the people that just love.

[Christina P.]

I love horror nights and holiday and things. They made a great documentary about these type of places.

[Jeff Dye]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

Do you like haunted houses?

[Christina P.]

I love haunted houses. I don't like this kind of stuff. But also the reason like McManny Manor I think it's called was one of the most extreme haunted house. I think it's still going. Is that right? Did I say the name right? McManny Manor. McCamy Manor. McCamey Manor. Yeah. Anyways, the reason his was so controversial is because there's no safe word like this one. At any point they can leave. He said, I made it out. Meaning like some people were able to go, ah, yeah, let me out. That's the most extreme one. And they waterboard you and like there's no out. You can't. There's no safe word. That's why they think this guy should be locked up. He also films it, which is cuz he's a creep and he wants to like watch all these people. Yeah, yeah. That guy in the middle is the guy who runs it. And also to get in you have to like do this waiting list. It takes years, this huge contract. That's two dog food cans you have to donate which Is strange.

[Jeff Dye]

Really?

[Christina P.]

That's part of it.

[Jeff Dye]

Cool.

[Christina P.]

I don't know.

[Tom Segura]

I mean, it's cool that, like, you're totally crazy. Like. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

You have to be a psycho person.

[Tom Segura]

Doing that is completely insane.

[Christina P.]

Sexual kinks, for sure, sure. I also. This is a tick tock thing. When he was doing. When he was explaining it. I don't like the cadence in which he's ex. Why is it so, like.

[Tom Segura]

So some of those narration.

[Christina P.]

I went into the things. And then once you go through the 13 chickens, then you have to go to the electric thing that's being those. And then, like, why is that always.

[Jeff Dye]

Explaining tick tock cadence? The girls do, too. I woke up this morning and had my matcha tea latte. And then that was very delicious. And then I went into the cadence.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it's very weird.

[Jeff Dye]

Which was very tasty. Very yummy. Thank you. And you're like, shut up.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

I hate the way he was explaining that haunted house. Oh, I saw this.

[Tom Segura]

New Zealand's youngest MP started.

[Jeff Dye]

Look at his face.

[Tom Segura]

This is so silly.

[Christina P.]

It's so ridiculous.

[Tom Segura]

In Parliament doing their battle song.

[Christina P.]

It's ridiculous. And we're all supposed to think, isn't it great? Yeah, so we look virtuous. It's ridiculous.

[Jeff Dye]

Like, come on, man. He's.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. I hope you beat the usc. It's fine on a football field. What are we doing it in Parliament for?

[Tom Segura]

The white guy faces are the best.

[Christina P.]

Oh, yeah. Terrified.

[Jeff Dye]

I kind of like the chant itself. I think it's pretty hard. Like, I like it. Yeah, the chant goes hard.

[Tom Segura]

He's like, all right, cut. The shit.

[Christina P.]

Is suspended until the ringing of the bells.

[Tom Segura]

The gallery is to be cleared. All right, you guys did your little song.

[Christina P.]

It's so ridiculous. And I know people bringing here, like, oh, he's being a dickhead about. No, it's like, so knock it off.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, this is. That's what you do. Like before the rugby game.

[Christina P.]

We've also evolved.

[Tom Segura]

It is.

[Christina P.]

I don't bring my gun into that parliament to go, hey, it's my culture. This is what we used to do. We're all cowboys.

[Tom Segura]

This form of protest. This.

[Christina P.]

We've evolved past you shouting some tribal thing at a.

[Jeff Dye]

But have we? Jeff died. What are we doing? The point is.

[Christina P.]

And you go, hey, we gotta all sit here terrified.

[Jeff Dye]

The first time I saw it, I hated it. And now I've been watching it more and I like the actual chant more.

[Christina P.]

It's become funnier to you, right?

[Jeff Dye]

No, now I see how tough it is because, like, she I. I watched a video about how, like, they do with crazy. Yeah, they like opponent.

[Tom Segura]

Well, they would do that.

[Christina P.]

I've seen it a million times.

[Tom Segura]

Battle. That's what that.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah, I like that. Yeah, I like it.

[Tom Segura]

It's pretty tough, but it's fun to see it. The white guy, that guy's face on.

[Christina P.]

The bottom, like, that's why I'm against it. I'm not against them doing the haka. Is that what it's called? I'm just. I'm just against them doing it in Parliament. The guy, let's dress like Papa Shango and it's supposed to be like this civilized thing.

[Tom Segura]

I would love to hear this guy on the bottom summary when he got home.

[Jeff Dye]

Oh, yeah.

[Christina P.]

Telling his wife.

[Tom Segura]

Well, you know how they get. They came in, they started screaming and hollering, doing their, you know.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, they did the whole thing.

[Tom Segura]

She goes.

[Christina P.]

Did they do the eyes thing? Oh, yeah, that was part of it.

[Tom Segura]

The handshaking.

[Christina P.]

I tried to get order and they kept popping in with some new ones.

[Tom Segura]

What'd you do? Well, I just said, we're just calling it a day. We're just not going to do this.

[Christina P.]

You should have seen Gary. He was terrified.

[Jeff Dye]

But you're right, that's what he did. He just called it a day.

[Christina P.]

Needs to be cleared, just done.

[Jeff Dye]

Y'all come on.

[Tom Segura]

The next day, he's like, are we going to do a show again today?

[Christina P.]

I hated it. I saw that video like four times, and every time I was like, this is ridiculous. And read the comments. The comments are, like, so supportive. Like, isn't this beautiful? Again, it's not beautiful. It's ridiculous. Also, if they were going to stick to the tradition, they wouldn't be wearing female pantsuits. Yeah.

[Jeff Dye]

That's so disruptive.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, that's not part of it.

[Jeff Dye]

But I do enjoy the disruption. I do think it's funny. It's funny.

[Christina P.]

It was funny.

[Jeff Dye]

I miss.

[Tom Segura]

But, yeah, just seeing the white, like, globally viral.

[Jeff Dye]

Sure. Well, she's making a good name for herself and that's good.

[Tom Segura]

Pretty cool.

[Jeff Dye]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

All right. PodC. Excuse me. The special, the Last Cowboy in LA.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

Is available on YouTube right now. Please check it out and people can get tickets at jeffd.com.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, I'm going to be all over.

[Jeff Dye]

And welcome to Texas soon.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Moving here. Very excited.

[Tom Segura]

It's very exciting. Exciting.

[Christina P.]

I love it here.

[Jeff Dye]

Awesome.

[Christina P.]

I love this show.

[Jeff Dye]

We'll come back.

[Christina P.]

Thanks for having me on.

[Tom Segura]

My mom's moving here, too, so maybe you guys can become good friends.

[Christina P.]

I'D like that. Yeah. Is she cool? Very cool. You'll end it then?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. All right. Thank you for coming. Thank you guys for watching listening. We'll see you next week.

[Jeff Dye]

Bye, mommy.

[Christina P.]

Off right now, man. This light was not orange when I bought it. It was not orange when I bought this. This was the real lighter thing. It was right here, man.

[Jeff Dye]

Silver.

[Christina P.]

A silver lighter. Take off the paper.

[Jeff Dye]

Orange lighter.

[Christina P.]

It's a orange lighter. What the r this off? Black lighter. You see this? It's a black lighter. What the Silver lighter.

[Jeff Dye]

Orange lighter.

[Christina P.]

Silver lighter. Orange lighter. Silver lighter. Black lighter. Silver, silver lighter.

[Jeff Dye]

Black lighter.

[Christina P.]

Silver lighter.

[Jeff Dye]

Orange lighter.

[Christina P.]

Silver lighter. Silver lighter. Black lighter. See this? What the Silver lighter. Orange lighter. A silver lighter. Orange lighter. Silver, black lighter. A silver lighter.

[Jeff Dye]

Black lighter.

[Christina P.]

Silver lighter.

[Jeff Dye]

Orange lighter.

[Christina P.]

A silver lighter. Silver lighter. Black lighter. See this? What the they cheating you out your money, y'all. They cheating you out your money. See this?

[Jeff Dye]

They cheating you out your money, y'all.

[Christina P.]

They cheating you out your money. What the?

[Tom Segura]

This episode of your mom's house podcast was brought to you by rogue. Warning. This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.