← Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Our Favorite Jeans w/ Charo | Your Mom's House Ep. 825
01:18:41
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Well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. Hello, I'm Charo. Welcome to your mom's house. Well, here I am doing a podcast with Tommy and Christina, and I have never seen them looking better. Hey, Christina, close your mouse. A fly might get in. Mero, you look gorgeous. And of course, Tommy the boss. But I love them. I can scream at them. I can buzz them around. Nobody say anything. It looks so good. Oh, my gosh. I'm taking them with me. Tom and Christina are gone, so of course I have to do the work for them. Tom is going to owe me so much for this. He's going to regret not being here. So here we go. We asked fans and guests to send in their favorite moment from the podcast. Our first guest, Stavros Khali. Khach. I can't pronounce it very well, but I know who he is and I love him. I don't really have a favorite clip. I do have a least favorite clip. When you pieces of shit made me watch a guy eat, shit just came out of his ass like soft serve and he lapped it up. How the fuck is this even a successful show? I love you both, but you scarred me that day. The way we first learned about him was through one of his cooking shows. He had a cooking video that became famous. It was before he got his forehead tattooed. Okay, before you. Today, we're going to make French Canadian poutine fries. What are poutine fries? Well, poutine fries are basically your fries. Cheese. And a great appetite. Wow, A great appetite. Just like your grandpa. However, there's going to be a bit of a change. I don't want. Stresses me out, too. Fries, cheese. No. Pig and pig piss. Oh, it's gonna be a treat. No. Okay, so let's get ready. This guy's cracking a little cage. He passes through the cage. Yeah, which it's in his urethra, so I don't know how he's. No, dude, no. Mix it up. Make sure all the fries are covered. You gotta have all the ingredients. I take back what I said about his recipe. I don't want to. No. Watch this. Oh, no, no. Oh, no. Look, dude, that's disgusting. That fucking sucks so much. Oh, my God. Why did it come out so fast? Why did it come out so fast? So gross. Take the cheese. Jesus Christ. I literally mix. I don't even gag. Easy, dude. But that shit is fucked up. Mix it all together. No, I don't want to watch. Meat it. Don't eat it. Norm, please, I beg you. Norm, don't eat your own shit right here. Hey, French Canadian is so good. Look at this gooey turd. Oh, my God. Cheese and crusty. Oh, good. I'm at a. Why the did it come out so fast? No, no, no, no, no. This is disgusting. Up next is Cristi Stefano. When the first time I did your mom's house live, and when Tom and Christina showed me a man getting shit into his eyelids is when I subscribed to the channel. So I know Stavi. It was what, you know, one man's treasure, one man's trash, another man's treasure. And I got to be honest, also, one of my favorite moments is when I came on there and I talked about my love for the transgender woman in baby reindeer. And we had such a great moment, and I felt so listened to and included. And then the very next day, I told that same story on Joe Rogan, and his response was, ugh. So thank you for supporting my trans love. I haven't been able to stop thinking about her at all. She consumes my thoughts when I'm. Every moment of my life, I'm thinking about her. Terry, and that's spinning. Yes. There's a video of her dancing around. Can we please pull it up? Yeah. Her dancing around. I've watched it on repeat. I've had to. You know, Jasmine's caught me multiple times looking at her Instagram, looking at her pictures, and I've had to tell her multiple times. No, it's for a bit, but it's. It's not. Can you walk me through the attraction? Because I'm trying to understand, because to me, it looks like a very masculine woman. So it's like, you like the woman look, right? But you like a masculine woman look. Is that what you're. No, she looked like it's an Italian girl from Brooklyn or Staten island to me. Oh, yeah, she looks like that. And I. And I first thought. I thought she was a woman, and then it's one of those things. When I found out she was, in fact, a biological male and still had a penis, it made me more intrigued. Okay. Yeah. I think there was a video of her dancing. I think it's loading up right now. Okay. So am I. I want to get my feet over my head and get back to my hotel room and shoot her off my eyelids to Nava Maw's Instagram. So while her followers have doubled, when I. The last I was on her page about two days ago, she had 68,000 followers. Now it's over at 110. Yes. Terry's just dancing around and. Yeah. Just kind of. Yeah. You like her paws? I like it. Everything. I like her. I was like, I was like wondering, like, I wonder where. Where that apartment is. She. I like her flowers. I like her kitchen. I'm just like, she looks like she would. She looks like she would tolerate me and not judge me. Right? I like that. Yeah, she looks like she would. That's. Maybe that's the. Maybe that's the hook, Chrissy, is that she won't judge you. The thing that excites the straight male human brain number one the most is big tits and a big dick. So you don't even realize when you're watching porn. You will fast forward through the videos if the man's penis is too small, but if you see a nice big fat dick and some big tits, then you stay. And that's why I'm staying on her, because I'm assuming she has a big fat cock and big tits and I've already seen her tits in baby reindeer. Yeah. And I feel like, good talking about this because I promised my family last week at a barbecue that I wouldn't publicly talk about any gay stuff or hypersexual stuff. And I looked them on the. I said I won't do it, and then I'm happy. I'm doing it. Yeah, you are doing it, but it's still. It's fine. It's just. Who cares what that lady has a penis. Oh, shoot. Turn that off. Hi, Tim and Christina and boothboobs. My personal favorite YMH podcast moment ever is from episode 773 where Christina gets to tell Tim live on the podcast that Hammy has escaped not only for the third time, but infiltrated the walls of your home. Always makes me giggle. Thank you guys so much for what you do. Thank you for the years of laughs. It's your buff day. And if you're ever on the market for an orphaned mauvy 31 year old, hit me up. Love you. I've been a little high on drugs the last like nine days recovering. And yes, I've been a little bit bored. So I bought the kids a hamster. Right. This is. This happened a while ago. And then I thought, what's better than one hamster, two hammies? So right before surgery, yeah, I bought. I bought us this crazy hamster dude that like, we had it in a box on the way home from the pet store. It chewed through the box. It chewed through the box on the way home. That was cool. This thing Is crazy. And so we have had three hamster escapes. Yeah. In the house. And the first one was just, like, total fluke. The second one, the kids left the cage open, and you were not pleased. No, I did not like that. You don't like that it made you very upset. I mean, I'm not a big fan of this family of pets. This type of pet is not one that I'm excited about. Well, we can't have dogs or cats. We are son. One of our sons has allergies. But. But, like, then knowing that it's free, and it just really makes me uneasy. And then I leave, and you're like, oh, I got a new crate. It just brings me. Look, I don't do well with feelings, especially feelings of sadness and depression. And I was like, fuck it. You know what? I'm gonna buy another hamster. I know, but you also decided to buy a new home for the hamster. Yeah. Let me show you. So this is actually the third cage. Third cage. And it is. Look at this. Enormous. That is taking up half of a room. Now, it's called the hamster habitat, Tom. It's more humane than a cave. And that's just for one. That's for one Hammy. That's the savage Hammy. That's the savage Hammy. So you came home and you found Hammy in that. But the reason was so that fool got out a third time. Remember? This is what you haven't told me. Yeah, bro. So remember, you left and the search was on, and you found for Hammy. Yeah. Now, I didn't tell you what went into finding Hammy. Wait, this is the time you. You said, I found it, and I did. Yeah, but it took a little prep work, so. Oh, my God. Dude, you didn't even know this? We were at dinner. We were at dinner. You were sitting. Right. It was here. Here. And then Jane was sitting next to you, and we're eating, and I hear, like, scrambling. Like, it's in. Like that, and it's in the walls. It was in the walls right next to your head when you were eating dinner. Wait, how did you know? Because right before you came to sit down for dinner, I heard it scrambling. In the wall. What do you mean, in the walls? So you know where our dining room table. Yeah. Right behind you is that wall and that cabinet. There's a wall right behind you. And then the front door. It's like, not a full wall. It's like a little partial. Okay. It's like a. You mean if you're seated with your back to the front door where you were sitting or the head of the table? Yeah, the head of the table where you're sitting when you're in your back is to the front door on our big dining room table. Yeah, there's a piece of wall. And I. You heard that? Heard it. And then I was like to Jane, I go, you cannot tell Tom that this is in the walls. He's going to freak. Cuz this is the third escape and you're going to kill me. And I've already bought this crazy hamster. Like, this is crazy. You're going to. You're going to divorce me. And I, And I put a Christmas tree in our room too, by the way. Did I mention that there's a Christmas tree? Yeah, you put a Christmas tree in there. But anyway, okay, there's the. There's my Christmas tree in there. Like I've already. I'm off the deep end already with this cancer. Like I'm losing my. I'm already doing stuff to feel better. That doesn't make sense. So we eat dinner, and Jane and I are just like praying that you're not hearing. Right behind you. It's like a comedy. It couldn't be funnier. It was so perfect. And you're telling. We're just like, so tell us about the thing, Tom. And right behind your head. And you don't hear it. And then, so you leave. And to Brian, I go, look, we got to get this hamster out of the walls before my husband gets back. He's going to be furious. So he calls a guy over. So first of all, when you have like rodents in your walls, the exterminator won't drill holes in the walls. So we had to get a guy to come over and drill holes in the walls. What? Yes, we fucking drilled, dude. We drilled holes into the walls. You know the front door? Yeah, that wall. That is right to the right of it. We drilled a hole in that wall and then on the other side. And then they patched it up before you got home. Wait, so hold on. So, so, so, so we're all like, okay, I hope this hamster comes out, because otherwise it's just going to die in the walls. And we're waiting for the exterminator to come, but he doesn't come until the next day. So we have this night of like, please let this hamster come out. So we put food out, we're waiting. And I'm. I can't sleep because I'm so codependent and I Hate when you're upset with me. Like, I can't handle the feelings of you. And I'm like, he's gonna be so mad at me. And I've got to resolve this. So I'm up at midnight, high on oxies, looking for a hammy. And my tits are hurting. And I've got a flashlight. And I. I find it. Dude. I find the hammy by the kids room. So it did come out. It did come out. We lured it out with treats. So it came out of one of those holes. I'm presumably. So how did it get into the wall? We know. We do know. We found there's a tiny little area under the cabinet. Okay. Just a. You know, they only need an opening. Yeah. And that's how I got in there. And it got in the wall. Did we plug that up? Don't know. You know what I'm thinking about right now? Divorce. No. New Christine? No. New Christine was just here. She would never have tricked you. Like, she never would do this. They patched it up so that you didn't. You never have to know. But I thought it'd be funny. I would patch up the original entrance. Yeah, we will. That was fun. That was like fun. Summer's winding down, and while I'll miss the long days, there's something nice about getting back into a routine. And for me, that means making weeknight dinners again, keeping the house organized, and giving my space a little refresh so it feels ready for the season ahead. Which is why I love Wayfair. I can go on that website. I can get absolutely anything I need for the kids, for our home. To make life so much more organized, Wayfair offers exactly what's needed. 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Instead of running to three different stores or trying to vet every ingredient on a million labels, Thrive lets you shop by diet values or even your kids ever changing food preferences because honestly, their taste changes weekly. Our latest order was packed with all the pantry wins, Yum Earth gummies, aloha bars, poppy sodas, and even the good crisp chips. Everything arrived fast and fresh and I saved up to 25% while restocking essentials we actually use. If your schedule is busy and you want clean, quality options without the hassle, now is the perfect time to jump in. Plus, new members get 30% off their first order and a free gift to make it even sweeter. I love Thrive because it's just easier to go and find all the snacks my kids love. And I know that I'm getting quality stuff and healthy stuff. Go to thrive market.com ymh and start saving today. Sale ends 8 31. Oh, Steve O. Hey everybody. Steve O Here. And my favorite time on the youe Mom's House podcast was when I told the story about jacking off in the airplane and simultaneously ejaculating as I fell out of was just a special thing. Man. On my bucket list. I had skydiving. I said if I ever go skydiving, because the first time you have to have a tandem dude strapped on your back, that I'm gonna be butt naked and furiously jacking off and I'll be all pent up. And while I'm whacking it like, like when I passed the point of no return, right. I needed to really time it so that right when I blow a load is when I fall out of the plane. And your jizz just went flying everywhere as you're jumping. It was the wind caught it, not a drop landed in the plane. So wait, you're. But I hadn't fallen out of the plane yet. I just got my wiener out into the wind and the wind caught it and blasted it into the slow motion camera that was mounted on the side of the plane. Wow. Which was like just a full brunt fucking money shot. And, and, and then, and it's good that way because. Because had it. Had I blown the load after falling out of the plane, it would have been really tough to catch it. This is right in your face. If it was in 3D, you'd be like wiping the jizz off. So you're, you're on the precipice of jump. Right. I'm jizzing as we're scrambling as we're going out. Holy. I'll show you. They hang. Yeah, I'd love, love to see it. You know, I had four dick pills for breakfast. I. I planned this. Yeah. Four Cialis tablets. Holy. Four of them. And, and, and I, I planned it like, you know, I did not blow a load for four entire days and nights leading up to the pent up with a hair trigger. Yeah. I don't think you can blow a bigger load than four days. You know, after that, your body just starts cycling it. Yeah. Four days is a lot. Four days kind of maxed out. Yeah. Maybe 10. But I'm not trying to do that. No one's trying to do that. I came prepared. Yeah. But the thing was that before we took off, they said, okay, now you're gonna have to. There's a two minute window for the jump. Because before or after the two minutes, like, we're not over the drop zone. So I'm gonna have to time this ejaculation. Oh, that's skills. Airplane full of dudes pointing cameras at me with one of them strapped on my back so tight that his chin is resting on my shoulder. Like a parrot. Yeah. Like, like. And I have to. It's threading the needle over here. Yeah. And I gotta do this within the space of two minutes. And I thought about it and I was like, okay, like, give me one minute's notice before the two minutes starts. Wow. So you start pre gaming the jack. I start pre. Are you stroking? I hit stroking semi regular. I had my Jaguars buddy Preston with me. He's my fluffer. He's got the lotion. Yeah, right. He. You know that when they. When I hear T minus 3 at 15,000ft after they open up the door, I go lube. He squeezes the lotion on my hand and then I click play and I start whacking. That's like. There's no pregame. There's just hit play full go. Oh, wow. Yeah. I told me. On to our next Robert E. And Jamie Lynn Sigler. What's everybody? I'm Rob Eiler. I'm Jamie Lynn Sigler. And we could tell you about working for Tom and Christina is they make us show up every week no matter what. And then weeks like this, they just don't show up and. Must be nice. Yeah. No one's there to tell them they have to, but they're making us work even more by introducing or maybe talking about Our favorite YMH moments. Anything with Tony John, for me, is my favorite. But then, I don't know if you remember. I think it was the one with me and you. Or maybe I was doing it alone. They showed us a video of some guy and his fetish was to, like, be put into the ground. Or he put a woman into the ground in his apartment and then, like, put the furniture back and acted like she wasn't there. Yes. And then there were, like, spiders down there, apparently. I'm really appreciative to Tom and Kristina for showing me just how fucked up the world is that we live in. Yeah. And thanks for letting me watch that every week. Damn. Slowly. Oh, no. It's all right, Jamie. Is this what you do at home, Jamie, with your husband? You after the kids go to bed? For sure. This is super cool. So wait, that's it. Stop it. Oh, Jamie had to ask. I was like, what? Everybody use your imagination. I hope that's a set and not his house. I think that is his house. Me too. This is terrible. Did you see his dad's dance at first? Dude, guys are so weird. Imagine that gets you off. The craziest part is that's like my. If you spiders in there. That's my straight up night. Oh, I thought you meant Michael Imperioli from Goodfellas. Gonna watch the tv. Wow. Hey, that's great. I thought Tony was a gangster. Oh, what's that mannequin in the corner? Just to practice with. Jesus Christ. You know what's crazy, too, is, like, she's down there, like. And he's just like, I think I'm gonna jerk off. Yeah. Yeah. Like, where does the gratification. He's peeking right now. Yeah. But right now he's got this one. He should be. It's not a good feeling. So we. We highlight cool guys on our show. This is obviously king of the cool guys club, but he's not jizzing on her. He's not even ejaculating. This is what gets him gangster. Yeah. This guy's darkest, cold, cool guy. Now there's a cool guy. Tom, have you ever thought of putting a dove under here? Honestly, why are you showing me this? This is going to cost you. Up next, in the episode where Christina, Tom, and Josh are talking about Aaron Hernandez, out of nowhere, Christina says, the Pouncy twins be gay. And if you watch Tom's reaction, he's just so happy. Like, I. You can see how proud he is of the decision he. He made to marry that woman. He did crazy Shit. Like someone would like walk by him and they'd like maybe spill a drink on him or something a little bit, and then he would. Well, that was exactly what happened when he murdered a guy. He murdered two guys. Yeah, two of them. Two guys on the street because they spilled a drink on him. And he got so crazy and he couldn't control the impulse to murder. I mean, it was just such an irrational. It's like when someone makes your drink wrong at Starbucks. How far away are you from? But you know what I have. I got that frontal lobe. You still have yours? Yeah. Okay. That's when you'll know something's wrong with me. Oh boy. If I'm like a couple of head injuries. Oh boy, they made it wrong. And then I just cut them up. Yep, a couple of head injuries away from that. That wall breaking down in your frontal lobe. Yeah. It's a good thing I didn't play college ball. Yeah. Oh, how sad. No, it's really sad. He killed those two guys. He killed his fiance's sister's boyfriend. This is a separate one. Then one of his friends who he was rolling with, who knew because was with him when he shot the two guys who spilled the drink. He shot him in the head. So he tried to kill that guy. Bradley, the lover in prison, by the way, said during a night of canoodling that he confessed to a fourth body. Oh, my life. And then don't forget that he also shot somebody in Gainesville when he was at Florida. And they never tied it to him. The Tebow team that you must look back and go, haha, yeah, the Savages. Yeah, they're all animals on that team. There's like a coach who got arrested and all this other stuff too. And then they're like national champs. How about the Pouncy guys being in that. That documentary they got the Pouncey twins Be gay. That's the one thing I know about football. I got it finally. Oh, you know, it might. They might be that. No, I don't know. She's talking about the year they got drafted. Yeah. I remember this so specifically because I was laughing so hard about it. There was an Ole Miss player, right. Who was. Twitter was like kind of. Because the twins have been in the NFL like 10 years or something. Yeah. Twitter was sort of newish, right? Yeah. It would have been like it was probably around that same draft as Aaron Hernandez. Exactly. 09 or something. Right. So it's a couple years old, but it's not like what it is now. And so it's like, oh, let's go on Twitter. And this. This Ole Miss player was tweeting, like, hilarious shit about everybody in the draft. And when. That was the year that they didn't enter the draft the same year. So Marquise went, like, the year before Mike or vice versa. Right, Pouncy? Yeah. I don't remember. So whichever one was first, he gets drafted, and the. The brothers stand up and they kissed, and they, like. They kiss, like, on the lips. That's how that happened. And then that dude wrote, pouncy, twins be gay. And so I started tweeting at that dude, the Ole Miss player, and he blocked me. Oh, what did you say to him? I was like, they be gay. Huh? Like, I just kept, like, trying to provoke him, but it was. And you've held that now for over a decade in your brain, Christina? Yeah, it's amazing. Came out of that vault right away. Like, the joke just. I must have been talking about it. If you're. If you're. Yeah, because I remember you saying it. Palsy twins be gay. And you would say it around the house. And then it's like, lock that up for somewhere. I can't remember what I had. Oh, yeah. I don't know what I did yesterday, but I know. Palsy twins be gay. And I know. Talk about practice. That's right. Who wants better sex and who wants to start having better sex immediately? The best way to get started is to go to AdamAndEve.com right now, Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item, plus free shipping. More than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discreet shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy. All will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast. Don't wait. Better sex is just a click away. That's 50% off one item. And free shipping bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to AdamAndEve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter offer code YMH at checkout. That's ymhymheve.com. this is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast, so be sure to use this code YMH. So get your discount and 100% free shipping code YMH. This is really going to cost him a bracelet. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm talking here to a wall. Hey, hey, folks. Mark Norman here. It's raining and disgusting. New York but gotta give a shout out to your mom's house. What's the best moment? Well, Compton's cans are hard to pass up, but for me it was fun. Zinging Segura 5 years ago about how fat and gross he used to be. Check out that clip from the old show. That was a doozy. But yeah, love what you guys are doing. Christina pees the. And we're all glad Ari left. Ugh, comedy. They sent me a set that I did. Oh, like two years into Stand up. Yeah. A friend of mine, I was like, what? He's like, yeah, I recorded this and I. I could not watch it. I started to watch it. I was like. Like starting to sweat. Can I say about you, you're one of the rare cases, like, usually you watch a guy's 15 year old set and you're like, man, you were so young and thin. You looked like hell back then and you look great now. Thanks, man. You went the other way. The other way. Yeah. Yeah. You were like a big guy. Facial hair. It's the only advantage to, like not giving a about yourself when you're young. It's like, I also see friends from high school and like, they look like now. Yes. Right. And then I look better than I did in high school. Exactly. And they're like, oh, what happened? I'm like, I don't know. That's. That's when you neglect yourself when you're young. Yeah. You can improve later in life. Life I look at sometimes all because I'm a big stand up nerd. I watch everything. So I watch your old stuff and I'm like, you can just look at you and go, he'll never make it. Yeah. He's so unappealing. Yeah. Looking that he's like, you looked like a guy who liked wings and tits. That was like your look, you know, it kind of had a Vegas. See, there was a shiny shirt involved. Your hair was pointy down. Yeah. This guy's a mess. Yeah. You're like, I would never hang out with this guy. He's going nowhere. You look like he had flames on your car. You know, let's see, there's some. Give me a real. On stage. Like a real. Oh, that's. That's rough. That's bad there. Look at the gold chain, the chest hair. I mean, this guy works at a place called Diamonds. Yeah. And it's a strip club. It shouldn't happen on the outside. Keep scrolling. Let's see what else we got here. Oh, that's. Oh, look. Look how big I AM right there. Yeah, but that's kind of a sitcom. Yeah, that is a sitcom. Look, I'm talking, you know those shiny black shirts and the. And the, the fun hair. Yeah, the gold chain man. Oh, there's. Oh, there's a guy. Come on, you think? I like to tell. I'm holding the mic just like him. And then look at that one on Conan. You're like this distinguished dude with the suit, the gray. You look cool as like. That looks like a guy who sells a badass tequila. Yeah, that is the guy who sells tequila. Oh, there he is. Look at that one with the. With the green. Green button down there. Yeah. Come on. Was that Ben Glebe? Oh, yeah, but you were. You were still getting laid. Christina with the bangs. She's got the bangs. Yeah, look, that's me when I first got to la. On the right, this one. The other one to the right. That's me when I first. Hey, well, that guy's a smoke show. That's how I got laid at 20. What happened? I just fucking neglected myself. Yeah, I guess so. Because the one next to it, that's like a before and after or a. Yeah, like, oh, that's use. That's like, oh, I started doing stand up and I don't know what's gonna happen with my life. This is scary. Yeah. You know, right? Yeah. But you got good bones. No pun intended. Like you. You're like a house that's. It was falling apart. But you can see this. When you reduce all the fat, the bone structure is not that bad. Not bad. And the eyeballs are gorgeous. Yeah, you're solid. Ah, that was good. I like that one. Oh, my gosh, Dr. Drew, I've been asked to reminisce a little bit about one of my favorite times on ymh. And immediately when I thought about it, what came to mind was my very first experience with Thoma Christina, where I went out to way out in the deep San Fernando Valley, and they pulled me into their garage or something they were filming in at the time. And Tom began showing me horrible videos. And Christina thought that was very funny. And especially this video. This one stands out in my memory. It was an introduction to a man with whom I would become, let's say, intimate. It certainly was. Sitting in his living room not. Well, a little while after that in New York City. The cameraman I was with never recovered from that experience. Paul. Sorry, but it was my introductory experience to none other than Robert Paul Champagne. Do you think the person involved in the clip is. Is taking Drugs. Is it one of you two? No, it's not. Okay. Okay. I can't wait. Black guys who love to and good. If you're a hot black guy and you want to me at 23.95. If you want to move in, you can move in, but you gotta me. I need. I need to be a lot, man. Yeah, we got it. Free food, free rent and everything else, man. You have to a deal, man. Oh, boy. Hold on, hold on. From jail. Homeless or you're a thug. Want to come move in? A friend can move with you too, man. Free rent, you get a lease in a key. Me piss on me. Beat me up. You see me want to come over today and try it out? Try it out, man, I just get sad. Yeah. I mean, what's happening? First of all, look how dark the circles are around his eyes. What do you think? That does not look well. This means drugs, man. He had slept on a mud and then I just smell meth. I can smell meth. Well, the first time we played it was interesting. I said, you know the funny thing about this? We played this over and over again. Oh, yeah, this is a regular clip on this show. Just that you're not worried about your souls now. Forget his. Oh, we're ruined. I know. I see that. I'm gonna bring in my questionnaire. We're ruined. But this, I was like, you know, some part of every man's brain that has wanted to like express these feelings. Yeah, but this just fuck me. But I'm saying. Yeah. For someone to actually pull out a camera. No. And to be this disconnected and all of it. This was somebody who was like severely beaten as a child. Really? Oh, yeah. Is that what's happening? Yeah, that's just. All I see is just abuse. Abuse. Because he's looking for the abuse again. Yeah, yeah. He's reenacting. Oh, he's reenacting the trauma to try to solve it or whatever. Whatever our brain does, it makes us do that. That. That's interesting. So what's with the bow on his head? That's. Well, that's in just a BG there. That's just. It's very dark. It's not well lit. He's shirtless. His spot on analysis made this sad for me now. And yeah, it is sad. That's why I could never go to strip clubs and things. Yeah, same here. No, it's empowering. Don't you know it's supposed to be empowering? That's what they say. I know it is. You guys don't get it. So he. Yeah, my building tried out. You want a piss on me? Try it out. Seriously. Only as man. I'm looking for hardcore guys that mean it wanted to do it, and I want to deliver it. I'm a hot white trash. Where did you find people? Just send this into. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. I'm so glad I'm talking to your fans. This is very nice. He actually looked like Tommy, so I like this one. My absolute favorite moment of the podcast is when Charo and Blanca are on the episode, and Charo bets Tom 500 that the man in the video is is not Tom. And he responds with okay. But then later denies ever saying okay. And they were just off and running. I missed. You missed it? Yeah. Because I don't know who fell. Two guys jump into it. No, it's not two guys. There's definitely not two. Just. Just watch the one screen, Blanca. Oh, okay. Is this. Don't look up at yourself. Just the screen right here. This screen. Oh, this screen. Okay. I also was looking. That's what I thought. Okay, Erase that thing here. Okay. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, he broke the glass and his body is on. And you think it's funny. I did. You did that? I think it's funny. Yeah, I did that. Yeah, you bet. You broke that glass. Yeah, that's stupid. I know. I was trying to dive. I was trying to dive straight through the thing into the pool. And you didn't realize there was a glass there, Right? That's in our old house. Hi. Oh, my gosh. That is horrible. For real happen or no? Yeah, that really happened. That was in the house. The last house, and that did. I gotta tell you something. It hurt. Oh, I bet it's amazing that you don't have any scratches, but that's not you. How much blood did you have? A good amount of blood. That's not Tommy. That's me. That's him. Yeah. Okay, do it again. I thought you were smarter than that. Okay, I bet you I want to make a decent bet, but I'm gonna bet 500 that's not you. And if I am right, you pay me. Okay, you know what? Either lies now have that hair. Just. That's what Ray realized. Yeah, everybody. Everybody heard it. I just make 500. What did you just say? Keep going. That is a really. Wait. No one even took you up on the bet. That's not how Bets. Bets don't work. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Bets don't go. I bet this. And then it is a thing someone has to say, I'll take that bet. Someone has to say, I'll take that bet. You did. Did I say, I'll take that bet? I did not hear that. Okay, play it. Play it. Play it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no. Wait, wait. No. Here's what I want. Here's what I want. Here's what I want. No, no. You're. You're going to pay me when you hear that it's not recorded. That's the bet. You gonna pay me when you hear that it. Listen to the answer. I said that's not you, and if it's not you and I'm right, you pay me 500. Your answer was okay, and I said, okay. Play it. I did not say okay. Oh, my gosh, mom, there's a whole room of people. Yeah, but they cheat to help you. No. Yes. Play it like Charo. I would never lie to you. Okay, I did not hear that. Okay, he's right. There. There was no contract made. There was no. You got to pay Mina. I swear. Okay, you can swear all you want, but now when you hear that. Wait, wait. When you hear that I didn't say okay. Do you agree that you will pay me if he doesn't cheat? And you have to prove to me that he doesn't cheat. Oh, he's buying words. I cheat. Cat, you didn't realize he was playing with words. Who was playing with words? No, no, no. Let me tell you one thing. Who's playing with words? How? No. By saying she had no idea and we was eating. No. Think that you were really betting. Okay, this is. Okay, okay, wait, I didn't bet. You're the one that said, I bet. How am I playing with words? And your answer was okay. It was not. It was not. Please, guys, help me. They've. There's a whole room full of people who have watched. Yeah, but they helped on me. Why? Why would they. They would love to see me lose the bet. What are you talking about? Okay, then do it. Then do it. Put the okay in there. No. Put the okay in there. Watch it again. You're asking me to lie. No, watch okay again and please tape it. Wait, so I want to be clear about how you think bets work. You think of bets like, hey, I bet that if this dog runs across the street, it's a thousand and someone goes, okay, that's a. That's a bet. No, no, that's what I didn't think it would be. A bet. If you said, if you are a smart and you're a smart and you're my son, they have to be a part of me in there. Okay? So I. Number one, I don't lie. Okay. Number two, when I make a bet, part of Charrington, I am very careful with my bets. And when I told you. But he never agreed. But nobody bet you. He didn't agree to that. He has to agree to the bet for there to be a bet. Christina, you guys don't get it. I said, I bet you 500. Yeah, but he didn't say, great. Bet is on. I get it. No, he says, okay. He didn't agree to the bet. Oh, my God. You have to agree to the bet for there to be a bet. So the word okay is not the bet? No, he just was like, okay. Like it wasn't a consent. Okay. What did you say? I don't think I said anything. I don't think he said, okay. I think that he say, okay, any's the sound. Listen. Any listens to us to make sure. Any. Hold on. He's a deciding factor. Any. Did my husband say okay? No, definitely not. And this is the most hilarious gaslight I've ever heard in my life. Hey, by the way, this is how I grew up. This is how I grew up with this nonsense 24 7. All of a sudden the argument is. Did you say okay? Yeah. No, no, no. Charles, Charles. All you did was observe. You're turning again. You're away from the mic. Move. Okay, turn your chair. Turn your chair the other way. The other way. Jesus. This is a microphone. Okay, sorry. So, Taro, what happened was you just had a thought that you expressed out loud. Yeah. As in, yeah, I. Hey, I bet that's not Tom. I bet five. And then. And then you, in your mind heard him go, yeah, that's a bet. That's not what happened, babe. You just went, hey. Oh, my God. I bet. I bet 500 that's not Tom. And then that's it. You know what? Your sister. You know what? Yeah, I agree. That's true. I'm an impartial. Yes. Okay. I want a lawyer. Because it's really. You know what? It's like talking to a crazy person. That's what everybody thinks. You are the crazy person. No, no, I know. Go around the room. The room is all in your side. Your sister just agreed. My sister doesn't hear. I think you were excited. Your hand on my face. She's. She's deaf. You're the wife and they are All. You were just excited, I think. And. And. But. Okay. So. So, okay, let's do it again. Can we move forward? Can we go on? Yes, yes. Let's move forward. Let's move forward. That was, like, fun, but that's okay. Gosh. Finally. Okay. Tom and Chris doing a best of episode. Obviously running out of ideas. A little desperate. What's my favorite moment in YMH history? I've never seen this show. Okay. I've never seen the show. Not interested in the show. Never seen the show. Good morning, Julia. That's. That guy's one of the funniest guys on planet Earth. I think that guy is brilliant. I don't know. Is he dead? He might be dead. Anyway, I love you, Tom. I love you, Chris. Kisses. Oh, Julia. It's me, Joe. Just wanted to say hi, wish you a great day. Tell you that meeting you yesterday and getting a look at you was probably one of the greatest moments of my life. You are so beautiful. You don't know how beautiful you are to me. So just. You're gorgeous. You're precious. He met her at a club and got her number and then she woke up to this. This nice guy. Inbox. Sweet guy. Sweet so far. Yeah. You're gorgeous. He's got a good goatee. He combed his hair. He's got the fan running. I like this. He's almost too. It's. It's a great goatee. It's in the. In the world of goatees. He's got it. That's the one. He's got a cute little butch in. Underneath there. So the more hair is growing in the crevice. But it's been sitting in my mind when you said to me, you want to go back with your ex boyfriend? Please erase him from your memory. Please don't ever go back in the past. I know because I've been there. And I understand when you know, you're trying to find somebody and you go on dates and nothing compares to your ex. But hold on. He was religious. By the way, you did see the cross in the hallway. I saw it. I saw it. Well, this is just letting you know what kind of guy he is. Yeah, he's a good guy. He's a good guy. He. He also lets her know that if she were to not go back to her ex and go with him, that she would forget about her ex. I will love you like you've never been loved before. I believe it. I will cherish you. I'll make you. He likes those fans. He does. I believe Me. After you experience me, you won't even know who your ex boyfriend is. Hey. It's like almost like the I make you come guy threat. Yeah. Similar proposal. Yep. Yeah. And then a lot of cool guys on this podcast today. This is a creepy guy episode. Open to me in your arms. Oh boy. Both. Let's go full throttle. Oh yeah. I could see me falling in love with you. Just. I don't know, I just looked in your eyes and I just melt. Wow. This guy's a romantic. Yeah, right? Tell you I'm. I'm liking this guy a lot. I like everything he's got going. Set this guy up with his sister. With my sister. Come on. Yeah. Let's see what else he's got to say. I mean, I'm so interested in this guy's rhetoric. Do you. When you. For me, when I see something like this, my immediate feeling is like my new best friend. My new best friend who I'm so humiliated for. Yeah. But I also go like, because we're talking about last week, that this is what happens in my mind is I start thinking about embarrassing things that you've done. Yes. Yeah. And I get washed over with that shame. I got videos. I got videos that are pretty similar to this. So. Yeah. Pretty close. That's the worst one. And how old are you? Pretty close. 34. When the first one. No, probably. Probably put out a little. I was probably on the cusp of the first round of dick pics and sent a halfy. I thought that was fun. Like just not a fully. Just like a half a half chub. You know, like. Okay. Yeah. You know, I've never gotten one cuz he and I hooked up in the time of Friendster. Oh yeah. I've never even. I've never sent my wife a dick pic. No chance. When you sent this picture, like a half. Little halfy, do you text it? Yeah. What was. No, I think it was an email, to be honest with you. An email? Yeah, I think it was an email. A pick email is a response. No. And that probably is the. That's probably the nail in the coffin. Yeah. And how did you meet this girl? And like, what's the. It was like friend of a friend type of shit. Don't really know her that well. A lot of flirting. I thought real horny. I'm gonna send you this penis pic. Got no response and got nothing ever again. I think it was an indication of my. My lack of skill. Really? Yeah. Was there. But it wasn't at like you weren't just like Oh, I met you. Here's a dick pic. There was, like, a lot. There's a lot of communication. And then she saw it ghost. Yeah. Not a cool penis by not a cool penis buy. That's my name in my bio. I'll send you the photo. Okay, thanks. Yeah, and it's. It's just half. It's half. That's. Yeah, but I. Here's what I'm thinking. It's like, hey, I'm getting. I bet you. I bet you it was. It's better than you think it is. I think it got sent around to Friends. Ugh. Tommy, please. And who will believe it? Ryan Sickler. Hey, guys. Ryan Sickler here. I'm very fortunate to have a bunch of crazy moments and fun times. Times on ymh. But I would have to say the wildest moment would be the Jesse Lee Peterson episode coming full circle. Like, I had no idea what that show was. I thought I was being punked. I had no clue what was going on. And then, boom, here comes YMH to save the day. We have been so obsessed. So obsessed. White History Month, right? Isn't every month White History Month? I hear that all the time, but I don't know. I mean, it is. That's the way they built it. How is it every month. What is White History Month? When we take a pause to recognize the men who founded and created the greatest country on this side of heaven. And because right now they're trying to erase that history and put on a fake history. And so I don't want the younger generation to forget real history, otherwise they're not going to appreciate America. Yeah, I did not know that. So this is like. This is towards the beginning, so it's like. I feel like really, like, okay, what's going on? He's blocked this out. This is so traumatic. When I left, I was. So I called my manager. What the. The. Yeah. Did you just send me all. What was that? I go at first up, confuse. I didn't know either. He didn't look it up either. I go, that's hilarious. I fucking spent about 10 minutes in the mud trying to figure out what's really going on. And then after I figure it out, then it just gets fucking fun. Yeah. Look at your kids. How many? I have two kids. My daughter's seven and her brother's my stepson. He just turned 19. And are they white? My daughter is, and my stepson is mixed. Oh, we need white babies. Oh, my white babies. We got one. We got one. She's. I mean, look at such a crazy thing. He's loving it. Even your posture when you're sitting like this and you're kind of like, what the, Like, I know this. I, I, There was a moment where I was like, really ready to just be like, all right, I don't, I don't have time for this. I'm gonna get up and leave. Really? Yeah, yeah. Because I mean, my time's valuable and I'm like, is this a, a clown? Like, what is this? Yeah. He said there needs to be more white babies. Oh, that's a big, that's one of his big stances. That's a big step. But that's not always. He got into so much where I finally, I'm like, okay, that's like my family says in Hungary. He asked me rapid fire questions at the end, real quick. So you got it. You got no time to think about. I want to ask you that. What do you think about the attack upon men today in America, men are the most out of hell and they're doing everything to erase them. What do you think about that? I mean, who's trying to erase men? Yeah, the people who hate men. Liberals and some Republican women. And others Republican women, not men. Yeah, only the Republican women. What is the purpose of the attack of our men? Why is this attack happening to men? What is he talking about, man? I, I really, honest, God, I don't, I don't know where we're going with this. I don't, I don't think men are under any different attack than women are. You don't think so? Well, look who's attacking the women. Who? The men. In what way? In what not way? Yeah, I love seeing the, like that. It hit you, cuz you're, you're being like a gracious guest to start and you're like, wait, I'm trying. Yeah, but I've never heard any like this come out of a black. Give me an example. Listen, for one thing, there's also a part in this when he's saying about black people where I don't want. I, I almost, eventually I do, but I'm like, I want to be like, aren't you black? But I don't want to say, aren't you black? Because if he's like, I'm Creole or some other Cuban or I'm like, then I'm a, I'm as bad as he is. Yeah, yeah. So I'm holding back, like, what is going on right now? Are you not, like, what do you believe that racism exists? Of course do you have any proof of that? Yeah, give me an example. A proof. Proof that racism exists, Right? Are you serious? You can't even be serious. Slavery. How about we take decades? The 50s, the 60s. I'm talking to. This is where you're black. Yeah, right here. Do you believe racism? That's where I symbolize that. Talking to a black man. Am I not? And I caught myself, like, I better not say that because he might be Cuban. Hey, black. That's true. You don't know. He could be like anything. Yes, I'm talking to it. I had to stop myself, bro. That's the moment where I was like, ryan, shut the up, man. This might be real. How about we take decades? The 50s, the 60s. AM I'm talking to. He makes some very good points. He is one of the good ones. Favorite moment from your mama's house podcast. It's gotta be when I was forced to watch that man be completely dismembered by a lathe on a Russian security footage video by the Lord of Darkness, Tom Segura. You sure you want to see it? Is it a lathe? It's gonna be on that monitor. It's a lathe, right? Is it a death? Yeah. Oh, it is, huh? Here we go. He gets a little hurt. Russia. That's all I gotta know. You're missing it. I'm not watching. Oh, you're not? No, I. I saw it. I saw it. What can be? What more can happen? Oh, hey, Tom. Jesus Christ. Jesus fucking Christ. Oh my God. I didn't know it was gonna escalate so fast. He is not okay. He just got disintegrated. Yeah, he got like dog meated. He did. They have the high res photos of the aftermath and it's. Jesus Christ. It's not good. Wow. Yeah. You gotta not work at a place just don't work there. Don't work there. Cut that out. Cut it out. No, no, no, no, no. Cut that out. There's a limit for everything. That's absolutely. No. Nighty night. So many great memories from ymh. But I guess not just my favorite memory from ymh. But my favorite memory of all time was when you guys sent me on that all expense paid trip to a men's retreat. And I learned the importance of sunbathing my taint. Up until that point, my taint had been cold and hard. And after that point, it was warm, alive. And so was I. So thank you for that. Thank you, Tom Duncan. No way you doing this, dude. I already did it. It's A life changer. Oh, my God. I started making more money getting more bitches. Nice. I kicked this immigrant family out of their house. Hell yeah, dude. Yeah, dude. I just want to get hard without pills. This can do that. Oh. Keep an eye on my guy, Tanner. He's kind of susceptible to things. What do you mean? Some things just don't go away, you know? Sure. Okay. No problem, man. Thank you, man. I appreciate it. You got it, Tanner. Listen to what he says, okay? He's got a beautiful cock. Let's get naked. Um, is there a way to not do naked? That is totally fine. We got some other options. Let's shake off any mind tension. I am doubtless. I am doubtless. I am fearless. I am fearless. Exhale, grunt, and growl at your ball. Beautiful. Now slap your nuts. Let's get butt by the most masculine force in our galaxy. The sun. There is a limit. Tommy, that is disgusting. No, I don't take it. Another bracelet. Good morning, Julia. Hi, mommies. I was recently asked to come up with my favorite Yma moments, and I'm just taking a walk because I'm fat. There's so many that I wouldn't really know where to start. But I will tell you, there's one that stands out, and that is episode 358, and that is where top dog is doing his blonde jokes with Tommy. Rip Top Dog, I really don't think much people could argue this. It's almost an iconic episode at this point. It'll live on forever. It'll be there on the Internet long before we're all dead. It's a fantastic episode. So YMH. Please play episode 358, when Top Dog does his bond jokes with Tommy again. RP Later. Our words. You like jokes, right? I love jokes. Okay, so I wanted to read some jokes to you and. And talk and you tell me what you think of these jokes. Okay. How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax? I love blonde jokes, by the way. I don't know. It has a stamp on it. Love it. I love those jokes. Oh, my God. Joke. Okay. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? I don't know. There's white out all over the monitor. I got one for you too. Okay, go. Go ahead. Go ahead. Okay. This blonde is sitting at a bar in Chicago watching the. You know, one of these bars where they had the TV behind the bar? And there's some guy up on the ledge getting ready to jump. So this. This guy sits down next to her and he says, to her, this is the six o' clock news. And. And he says, I bet you. He jumps. And the blonde says, I bet you drink. He doesn't. And all of a sudden the guy jumps. And so the, the guy, the blonde says, I guess you owe you $20. And he said, no, I really can't take the money because I saw it on the five o' clock news. And the blonde says, so did I, but I thought he might change his mind. I think that's hilarious. Oh, my God. Think that's so funny. Can you imagine? Yeah, that's funny. How do you draw? How do you drown a blonde? You know, have her stand in the shower for a long time? No, I don't know. I'm just guessing. I don't know. Okay, just go. How you put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool. That's funny. That's funny. Oh, my God. What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the ymca? I don't know. Look, they spelled Macy's wrong. Funny. Yeah. I got one more blonde joke for you. Oh, yeah? Yeah, yeah. Please keep it coming. Okay, so this blonde, she was going to go from New York to Europe to London. Yeah. So she just climbed on board and she sat in first class without a first class ticket. And the steward says, I'm sorry, miss, but you're not allowed. You have to go back in coach. She says, I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to London in first class. Well, the stewardess never had anybody talk to her like that. So she went to get the co pilot, the co pilot came out. Miss, you got to go to the back of the coach with everybody else. You don't have first class ticket. She goes, I'm blonde, I'm beautiful and very busty, as you can see, I'm going to London in first class. Well, the co pilot, he didn't know what to do, so he goes up and tells the captain. The captain says, don't worry, I speak blonde. Captain goes back, whispers something to her ear. She pops up and runs back into coach. And the other said. What did you say to her? I told her that only coach is going to London. I think that's hilarious. Yeah, that's good. I'm broad. Can you imagine? So stupid. You're out. Takes the airplane, kind of divides itself here. I mean, how dumb can you get? Yeah, really funny, actually. I love that joke. Yeah, it's a good. Sometimes I just. Sometimes I just tell jokes to myself to make myself laugh. Oh, my God. Really? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Seriously? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, man, that's a lot of. I can see abroad doing that though, you know, I could. Yeah. The other kind of jokes I like. I like. I like Polish jokes. Yeah. Who doesn't? Yeah, sure. These two Polox are driving down from Cincinnati to Miami, and on i75.75, they saw a sign that says clean restrooms ahead. Yeah. So the time we got to Miami, they cleaned 150. That's funny. That's good. Never heard of. That's good. Hey, you know what the world. You know what the world's shortest book is? What? Polish war hero. Oh, yeah, I've heard that one. Yep. The Hungarians used to. The Russians. Why do. Why do blondes wear panties? I have no idea. To keep their ankles warm. Oh, my God. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. I love this. I love bi. Joe. Hey, where do you look for. For blondes Obituaries. In the sports page? No, under home improvements. That's good. That's really funny. God, that's pretty good, man. Yeah, you know, it's. It's. You know, you know, it's. You don't do many one liners like this, but this is some good stuff here, buddy. He saw that they were so funny that he laughed so hard as he tell you the joke that you are laughing actually at him. No other joke. He was adorable. Anything he did was funny. Anything he did was good. Anyway, My favorite. Now you're making me cry. You are not typing this. Me blowing my nose? No, because that will cost four bracelets. My favorite. Your mom's house memory is actually my least favorite memory. When Christina and Tom forced me to watch that disgusting pigman Norm piss and into a poutine and then eat. I can't. I gagged. I gagged into the garbage can. I almost threw up. I've never always thrown up before like that in public on a podcast. Almost barfed. And then I looked up to see both of them. Them. Sheer glee on their face. Never seen people happier. And it made me realize they are so in love. And it was a very nice moment to see two people so happy at somebody almost yakking on a very large podcast. But I guess it was a nice memory just to see how. How happy Tom and Christine are together in love. I make French Canadian poutine fries. Fries. Well, poutine fries are basically your fries. Cheese and a great appetite. Yeah. What on God's green earth am I looking at right now? This Norm Center. However, there's going to be a bit of a Change to the recipe. Everybody likes to change the recipe. No, they don't. These ones are going to have fries, cheese, pig and pig piss. It's going to be a true treat. He's Canadian too. Guys. No, don't, don't. He's from Calgary. Well, that makes sense. Keep those. Okay, so let's get. Let's get things happening. Oh no. Does it come out? His penis comes out. Pee on the fries first. Oh my God. Wait. What is it? This? It's in a cage. Pig dumped on my fries. I can't look at this actually. This is. This is grotesque. No, he doesn't poop. It's just the beginning. No, it's just some pig fries are covered in pig piss. What? You're not even proud to be Canadian anymore? This is our Canadian test. That's what we have to do. This guy's fries. So every immigrant. No, no, I actually can't watch that. I can't, I can't. Oh my God. I hate you guys. Is it. God. God, this is the best part. No, I can't. I can't. The fact that you already watch this is. Is making me. What's that? Some cheese. French Canadian portion. Here. I don't know why. It's worse than the rest of it somehow that. Oh God. He doesn't eat it. I'm not able to throw up. Does he eat it? No, I can't look. No, just look. It's. I can't look. You just got to watch. Why is a garbage here? Nice garbage. I'm not. Not joking. I have. I hate it. Why is it still going okay? Why are all your clips so off? I'm sad. She was. That's so bad. It has to stop. Okay, okay. It actually has to stop. I can't. You know what? I can. Hold on. I hate that like that. The poutine video. I hate him so much. No, I'm actually like really upset right now. That's him now. Now. No, he's a bad guy. Underneath it with the pig. See how it says? What the is his problem? That's him now. He got the tattoo pig on his forehead. What? Why is he so sick about pigs? He likes being like a submissive to a couple doms. So those doms better be getting paid millions upon millions of dollars. They're getting anything they can get out of them. The smell that radiates off of that pig pissing clown. I can't. What's crazy is what you're saying right now is making him so hard. I know. Did he Watch this. I don't know. That is disgusting. Now I'm really mad. No. What? Everybody, it is I, the roach. Your host of behind the Jeans, Josh Potter. How are you? I have been asked, what is my favorite YMH moment. Why? There's only one choice, really. It is having the honor and privilege of getting to be the first person to cross through the threshold of 239, five Wagner houses, apartment 2C in East Harlem, and making first contact with Robert Paul champagne. I mean, I felt like Neil Armstrong. I felt like a political dignitary going to a faraway land. It was truly one of the best moments of my life and definitely my favorite moment. On your mom's house, about to go to apartment 2C. See? Robert Paul champagne. Oh, Ashley. Ashley. Hi, Robert. Hi. Hi. Can you come in? This is Paul. He's our. I'm Josh. Not the great. No, that's okay. Where can we go? Where can we set up? Thank you for inviting us in your home, first and foremost. We're really happy to be here. Thank you for all of your art that you've provided us with. I try some of it around the house here. I've noticed it's a lot of art. So tell us how you came to be here in Harlem. You said your mother. This was your mother's place? Yep. She wasn't. She's in a. She's a wheelchair. She hated the nursing home. And I. Well, they agreed. They got the place of me was like, okay, Mom, I'll go with you, but I'm crazy for Harlem, but I'll go with you. Right. Then she got worse and worse, and she wasn't home too much. She was getting sicker and sicker. And I had a. I had a nurse here. She was robbing me blind. How to get rid of her, to put her in nursing home. And now you're here. Is. Is your mother still with us? No, she passed away in December. Okay, but now you've inherited all her wares. Yeah, but I don't do half the stuff. You don't know what half the stuff is? Is that what you mean? No, I. I like the stuff, but I. I have. That's why I said I've got to get someone to live. I got to put somebody on a wheel for anything happens to me, they're going to have antiques here. I have crystals here from Ireland and their glasses and all this beautiful stuff. And I. And I can't. Any happens to me, they can have a party. Yeah, that's true. I mean, that's Always tough. So you. What is your solution? What do you think's gonna. I try. I guess I put it for two. I said my edge. What my ed was you could be escon. You could be a thug butt. But. But if you're here with me and we have a fun and you, we go back and forth, you could be comfortable. I have the rooms that I can fix a room. I got one was a mess, I gotta fix it up. You could give you a room. I'll take another person in. We could have a little fun as a family. I have nothing to leave a stuff to. Right. And then the only thing that they would have to contribute is helping you move all of these things. Yeah, move some of the stuff and you know, fix it up. I think that's fair. That's a fair trade. And what it's taking a room, put some in storage. Because it's like. Right. It's the. It's a lot of lifting and it's a lot of, you know, carrying up and down the stairs and things like that. You need some strong, bigger fellas to do that. I put, I put it out and people call it and make jokes out of it. Oh, well, that's it. You know, you could be homeless and you're making a joke. Yeah, that's sad. That shouldn't make joke jokes about those types of things. I got clothes. I told you could shower. I got clothes, clean clothes. I got lots of toiletries. I mean, you go in a closet, you'll pop anything out, right. And then. And here they are making jokes. Yeah. That's a shame. Have you had anybody? That was a real serious possibility. Some guy, he's getting out in August Island. But the deal is he has grand theft and that is not a good deal. Yeah. He's getting out in August though. Yep. So you're thinking because of the grand theft, he might not make it out? No, no. Great. I don't mind a rape or a little mighta robbery, but grand theft, he sees antiques. I don't want to be the next victim. I hear you. Okay. That kind of bing. Yeah. So if he was a rapist, a rapist went bombing. You're not gonna rob? No, because then he can't rape you. You, you're willing, you're down. Okay, but he will rob. But, but the rock. But the robbery, I'm the robbery. I'm thinking I've got antiques here and I got. Yes, of course. Now tell us about some. You. You mentioned before we got started filming some famous names of lovers that You've had Tom Selleck. Tom Selleck, Yep. Now this is what year about. He was around the 80s, right. Okay. So this was in his heyday. This is mustache. Miami Vice, Thomas. He used to go to the Eagle with the Eagle, the lore and the Eagle. He's a smoke his cigar. He wore a harness and. And everyone says Tom said we don't. And I don't call him Tom. I just. I just say. I say Tommy. And he was just smoking cigars. We used to go back and forth and. And we went to hotel rooms, but no one thought of Tom Sawyer because when he wore the leather, he wore glasses. Ah. And that was like his Clark Kent to Superman. So he was. He was kind of. But he was bi. Right. So he was a little more shy about his. Yeah, his gay side. And I respect. It's okay. Okay. Yeah, sure. What was. Do you remember some of his favorite things to do when it comes to. He was into water sports, he was into whips. He was into Australians. Oh, he was. Oh, he was the best. He was so wild. Oh, is he retarded? Oh, favorite memory of your mom's house. So I get to Austin. It's 10 o' clock at night. I'm doing the podcast the next morning. I've been on a plane. I decided to go for a walk, see the sights. Everyone is all about Austin these days. Everyone's moving there, the business is going there. And I decided to just go check it out. Why not? I get out there, I start going for a walk and it's insane. I mean, it is like Sodom and Gomorrah out there. It's the craziest thing I've ever seen. And I live in Los Angeles. I saw a homeless man who was not wearing a shirt, smoking crack and loading a handgun at the same time. Favorite memory? Nothing to do with the actual podcast, just to do with how insane Austin is. But congratulations guys. Thank you for watching. Make sure to check out my show. Muy muchacharo. Please. Anton has to buy me maybe a diamond bracelet for doing this. Tommy will be back next week. Ta da. There is retarded. What's up jeans? It's your boy, Doug. You want my favorite moment of ymh? It's gotta be the opening to Tom's birthday. Episode number 759. I Good Morning Julia song. Freaking hilarious. And one of the biggest tunes ever recorded. Not just comedy. Like it's actually sick. So I was laughing and jamming it at the same time. Good times. Hey, it's me, Joe Just wanted to say hi. I wish you a great day. Tell you that meeting you yesterday gave me a look at you. It's probably one of the greatest moments of my life. You were so beautiful. You don't know how beautiful you are to me. I mean just. You're gorgeous. You're precious. And with. It's been sitting in my mind when you said to me, you want to go back with your ex boyfriend. Please erase him from your memory. Don't ever go back in the past. I know cuz I've been there. And I understand where you know, you're trying to find somebody and you go on dates and nothing compares to the arrest. But there is that better person out there than Julia. I promise you it is me. I will love you like you've never been loved before. I will cherish you. I'll make you feel like a one. A real woman. And believe me, after you experience me, you won't even know your ex boyfriend. And this. So open up your heart to me. And your arms. Let's go full tr. I can see me falling in love with you. You're just. I don't know. I just looked in your eyes and I just melt. Anyhow, I'm heading off to work. Ciao baby. Let's go full trial, baby. Ciao baby. Ciao baby. Baby. Sh. This is my cute little home. Everything you see behind me, I built everything. Every square inch. From crown molding the chair rail to floors, to lighting the plumbing, doors, windows. Full trouble. So this is the type of guy you get. And I'm a very handy guy. And I love to build you whatever you want. You're a sweetheart. So I hope this video doesn't scare you. You. But that's how I feel. I just want you to know that. Okay. And I look forward. I'm going out to dinner with you. So let's make it happen. Wall.