Sigma Chi Hates To See Him Coming | Your Mom's House Ep. 836

Summary

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Your Mom's House Ep. 836: "Sigma Chi Hates To See Him Coming"

Hosts: Tom Segura & Christina Pazsitzky
Date: November 12, 2025
Studio: YMH Studios

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Main Theme & Episode Overview

This episode of Your Mom's House features Tom and Christina in classic form, riffing on history, hygiene, mental health, and their own quirks, alongside a healthy dose of absurd and sometimes heartfelt banter. The comedic married duo explore everything from Thanksgiving myths, living in historical times, personal health updates, the psychology of “itchy” masculinity, and wild clips from the internet—including cringe encounters, viral personalities, and the minutiae of daily life (like garbage disposals and Barbie dolls). The title references an infamous disruptor who targets Sigma Chi fraternity brothers.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Thanksgiving, Survival, and Historical Hardships

(01:13–08:19)

• Thanksgiving Myths & Bit: The duo mock the sanitized Thanksgiving story, joking about settlers and indigenous peoples exchanging bread, guns, and “becoming friends.”

  "And then everyone became friends. And that's kind of a neat thing about Thanksgiving." – Tom (01:48)

• Hardships of the Past: They riff on how difficult life was without modern conveniences—air conditioning, antibiotics, dental care, and wheelchairs. Both lament how quickly they would have died in a previous era due to injury or illness.

  "You had to be one tough motherfucker." – Tom (03:50)

• Hygiene & Smells: Christina nerds out on Marie Antoinette-style historical hygiene, discussing how people coped with complicated clothing, infrequent bathing, and the stench that must have lingered.

  "Just you sitting in your layers of velour, you know, there, like, five layers, just cooking in there." – Tom (04:49)

• Common Death & Social Distance: The hosts reflect on how frequent death shaped social attachments in past times, likening it to today’s elderly.

  "You would have like a distance to everybody." – Tom (07:05)

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2. Recurring Viral “Menace” and the Sigma Chi Focus

(08:30–20:20)

• Disruptive Personality Discussed: Tom and Christina play and break down viral clips of a recurring troublemaker who harasses cops and fraternity boys, especially Sigma Chis, with incoherent questions and demands.
  • Notable bits of dialogue highlighting the confusion between "serial number" and "employee ID," and how different law enforcement agencies handle it.
  • Observation about the uncanny pattern in such personalities: irregular sleep, poor nutrition, and an uncanny ability to needle police officers and college kids alike.

  "There's always a menace. And it's him. God is like, we need this." – Christina (10:27) "Sweet college boys... that's what the Herc legacy, I would say, is most known for, is disrupt people who are just minding their own business." – Tom (17:44)

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3. Quirky Product Talk & Modern Life

(21:14–22:29)

• Christina plugs her limited-run luxury lipstick and blush, referencing Italian sourcing and seasonal shades.
• Comparing Voices: They introduce a voice-clip featuring a woman complaining about not having a garbage disposal, relishing her raspy, “vintage” East Coast cigarette-voice. They liken it to character voices and recall similar voices from childhood.

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4. Cigarettes, Cancer, & Health

(25:09–27:59)

• Christina and Tom share personal/family anxieties: Christina’s oncologist noting some people smoke all their lives without issues while others are unlucky. Tom jokes self-deprecatingly about his own “cancer odds.”

  "There’s like a zero percent chance that I’m not getting cancer." – Tom (26:56)

• Brief banter on the “nice cancer” (prostate) and Dr. Drew’s advice on frequent ejaculation for male health.

  "You just have to come a ton." – Christina (27:34)

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5. Tom’s Obsession with Body Fat & Masculine Drive

(28:12–43:14)

• Body Fat Ambitions: Tom details hiring a nutritionist/bodybuilder to drop to 3% body fat—well below normal and likely unsafe. Christina questions why, and they analyze the psychological roots (competitive masculinity, self-torture).

  "I wanna get to almost not alive." – Tom (29:26) "Is it just being married to me? You're like, I gotta try to die before..." – Christina (35:45)

• Pushing to Extremes vs. Enjoying Life: Christina points out Tom’s penchant for self-punishment (cold plunges, body transformation, etc.), contrasting it with her own quest for crafting and garden joy. They riff on gendered differences—men needing constant challenges, women enjoying “being.”

  "It's like I perform in front of 10,000 people or I'm isolated in the house watching murder." – Christina (41:10)

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6. Crafting Addictions & Marital Dynamics

(39:00–40:44)

• Christina shares her journey from obsessive papercrafts to watercolor, crediting a friend's intervention as marital salvation.

  "Rob was like, Christina, you gotta stop this... you're going to ruin your marriage." – Christina (40:09)

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7. Societal Representation, Barbie & Satire

(45:16–47:36)

• Christina introduces “Type 2 Diabetes Barbie,” launching into a mocking yet earnest dialogue about representation in toys, the hotness of Barbies across all editions, and missed opportunities like “Sex Worker Barbie.”

  "How come they don't have sex worker Barbie, you know, like a straight up hoe?" – Tom (47:36)

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8. Celebrity Stories: JLo and Diva Behaviors

(48:20–58:50)

• JLo Slander: Tom shares a “bus tour” anecdote about JLo’s legendarily frosty demeanor—even to her bus driver. He and Christina discuss her lack of humility and the nature of celebrity disconnect.

  "She never spoke. And I drove her, like, all over the country… never exchanged… [anything]." – Tom (54:33)

• Modern Fame vs. Old-School Fame: The duo reflect how modern celebrities can “blend in” more, and critique celebs who crave unnecessary privacy.

  "Most celebrities... they can go into the movies. It's fine. People would just be like, 'holy shit, that's who it is.'" – Tom (58:09)

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9. Sex & Energy (Colors of the Clitoris)

(59:07–61:00)

• The hosts react to a clip of a spiritual “sex coach” discussing “red,” “green,” and “white” energy in the clitoris—red being fire and sexual energy; green for healing; white for disinfection. Christina is grossed out, Tom finds it hilarious.

  "You've got to get that clit red. It's a new shirt." – Tom (60:16)

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10. Other Internet Oddities: Viral Personalities & Cringe Clips

(61:00–78:28)

• Big-Dicked Little Person: They discuss an attractive “LP” (little person) with a supposedly large penis.

  "Isn't it kind of cool to be a little guy with a huge hog like that?" – Tom (61:07)

• Food Phobia Guy: Reaction to a viral video of a man unable to taste a pickle, debating what “mental illness” they’d each develop.

• DIY Disaster Clips: They react to a reel of viewer-submitted or viral “Horrible or Hilarious” clips, including people injuring themselves with tools, at fairs, or just being embarrassingly reckless.

  Highlights:

  • A man dangling from the window of a moving car (67:23–68:35)
  • Multiple injury-prone stunts gone wrong (68:49 onwards)
  • Christina's visceral dislike of seeing injuries, especially neck and back breaks.

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11. Final Viral Clip: The “Island Boy” Knockoff

(73:41–78:28)

• The hosts analyze a viral personality sporting face tattoos and rapid-fire “island boy” patter, debating whether it’s a bit, mental illness, or social-media side effect.

  "These are nuts, bro. Yeah. This guy got mental problems." – Christina (75:54) "I would be so bummed if one of our [kids turned out this way]." – Christina (78:07)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Death in the Old Days:

  "You had to be one tough motherfucker." – Tom (03:51)

• On Sigma Chi Target:

  "That's what the Herc legacy…is most known for: disrupt people who are just minding their own business and living their life peacefully." – Tom (17:44)

• On Gendered Energy:

  "The man is doing. The woman is being." – Christina (43:35)

• On JLo:

  "She never spoke [to her bus driver]. I drove her all over the country... never exchanged [anything]." – Tom (54:33) "You'd have to make an effort not to speak to that person." – Christina (56:25)

• On Body Fat Extremes:

  "I want to get to, like, almost not alive." – Tom (29:26)

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Recommended Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:13] Thanksgiving bit & historical hardship
• [08:30] First viral “serial number” antagonist segment
• [16:18] Drug behavior: “Cocaine you run away, meth you run towards [cops]”
• [28:12] Tom’s extreme body-fat reduction quest
• [39:00] Christina’s crafting hoarding/intervention
• [45:16] “Type 2 Diabetes Barbie” and representation
• [54:29] Tom’s JLo bus tour story
• [59:07] The colored clit: sexual energy coaching
• [67:23] Horrible or Hilarious internet clip reactions

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Tone & Takeaways

The episode is classic Your Mom’s House—irreverent, scatological, self-deprecating, and ultimately affectionate. Tom and Christina deftly blend marital ribbing, cultural critique, and “found” internet weirdness. For new or returning listeners, this is a prime example of their chemistry and comedic style—a mix of poignant reflection, playful cruelty, and absurdity.

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Listeners leave with:

• Wild stories, real talk about body and mind, critiques of fame, and intimate glimpses into Tom & Christina’s dynamic.
• A reminder that sometimes humor is the only defense against the weirdness of modern life.

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Transcript

[A]

What's up, everybody? I'll be in Milwaukee this weekend for three shows at the Riverside Theater on November 14th and 15th filming my new stand up special. I'll also be in Las Vegas on Friday, November 21st at Dolby Live. Get your tickets now at tomsagura.com tour well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.

[B]

This episode is brought to you by Netflix from the creator of Homeland. Claire Danes and Matthew Rhys star in the new Netflix series the Beast in Me as ruthless rivals whose shared darkness will set them on a collision course with fatal consequences. The Beast in Me is a riveting psychological cat and mouse story about guilt, justice and doubt. You will not want to miss this. The Beast in Me launches November 13, only on Netflix.

[A]

Welcome to another episode of your mama's place. And we are here and we're queer and we're not going anywhere, not until we get our rights. So get married to your dog and listen to this show. It's gonna be a good one.

[B]

It's almost thing. It's almost jeans giving.

[A]

I know, I know.

[B]

It's wild. My jeans are so tight for it.

[A]

This is the day. I can't believe it. That the Indians were walking around just fucking blowing wind out of their mouths at the air, hoping that it would rain. And luckily the Europeans came and said, let us show you how it's done. And it was a really nice day. And they came and they're like, we have bread and we have chickens and guns. Do you want to try them? And then everyone became friends. And that's kind of a neat thing about Thanksgiving.

[B]

It is. That's exactly how it happened.

[A]

Everybody became friends.

[B]

Yeah. You know, can you imagine? I always think about this, how cold it was outside.

[A]

So cold, so cold. And how hot it used to be too. We've had air conditioning like 60 years. You imagine what it was like to live like here in Texas. Oh, my God, 1850s or something. Oh, my God, how horrific that would be.

[B]

But even those settlers, like, they were all, fuck you, England. I'm going to go do my shit.

[A]

In America and then take a boat across the ocean.

[B]

So miserable. And then they showed up here and you're all, whoa, it's cold as, huh? It's all snowing here. And dude. And they're like, these Indians gotta teach us how to, you know, shelter.

[A]

We forget how common death was.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Death just happened all the time. It wasn't weird like you. It wouldn't be like, oh, my God, somebody. Everyone's like, yeah, someone like 10 people died.

[B]

Just dust. Well, I was thinking, how many times, like, you and I would have been dead already?

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Like, when you broke your arm and snapped your patellar tendon, you probably would have just died.

[A]

Well, yeah. People be like, what are we gonna do with them? Can't do anything anymore. Just let them die here.

[B]

They wouldn't even have picked you up.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then they would be like, just leave them. I don't know. They'd throw some food down, eat that, and then die.

[B]

Well, they definitely would have amputated your arm. Like, you would be. And if you lived through that.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

They didn't. Probably didn't have wheelchairs.

[A]

How crude would the amputation be? They could use a saw. And they'd be, give me some tequila.

[B]

Yeah, you bite the stick. Oh, it'd be so cool. And then I broke my ankle. I would have had. I would be happy.

[A]

Just cut off already. I've been so. I've gotten sick so many times, you know, where like, you had to have antibiotics and everything. They just would have been like, yeah, he's just. He's dying. It's fine.

[B]

Or like, ear infection. You're like, I'm just deaf. I'm just deaf.

[A]

Like, deaf and dead.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How do people live? How did you even survive?

[A]

You had to be one tough motherfucker.

[B]

Or even, like, tooth decay. You had a cavity, dude.

[A]

Then you get brain rot. You just go right into your brain.

[B]

Or they just ripped out your tooth. No anesthesia.

[A]

Yeah, we'd all have brown, yellow, and missing teeth. You'd go. There'd be, like, four teeth left.

[B]

You know how I'm a gaylord for, like, the 17, 1800s and, like, the court.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And all that.

[A]

Gayest person ever. I know. Yes.

[B]

So I'm really into, like, Marie Antoinette and that court. That's so gay. Do you know back in the day, like, when all those ladies had those massive gowns? You know, it's not like you fucking pull your pants down and you take a shit in the bidet. So they had chairs, like, wooden chairs that you would, like, hoist your dress up in. And then hopefully you sit down and take a pish. And of course, it wasn't flushable. There's no plumbing.

[A]

No, I know. That's another thing. Plumbing. Thank God. And how people would smell. I think about that sometimes.

[B]

All the time.

[A]

Just you sitting in your. Your layers of velour, you know, there, like, five layers, just cooking in there.

[B]

I know.

[A]

And then bathing with it was a task. So they Just be like, well, do it. Do it in a few days.

[B]

Are you bathed with, like, your bathing costume?

[A]

Imagine the smell that would come out as you took them off. Like, it would finally, the smells would come out and then someone was like, you want to? And you'd be like, oh, well, I.

[B]

Was watching this comedy called the Decameron. I'm probably not saying it right on Netflix. It's so good. And there's this one scene where these two lesbos are eating each other out.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

And I was like, dude, like, how bad does that one chick's beaver smell? You know, they don't shower in the whole thing. Yeah. This is so funny. It's so funny. I'm going to Fluid bond with Jesse. I'm probably not saying. Right. The Decameron, it's really smart and really funny and.

[A]

Well, how are you supposed to say it?

[B]

I have no idea. Can you look that up, Josh? I'm. I'm sure not. It's a historical whatever play D. It's Italian, I believe.

[A]

All right.

[B]

And the music's cool. Whoever did it.

[A]

Okay, okay, there you go. How to pronounce the name of this book? Originates a book.

[B]

And it's also a TV series.

[A]

Netflix.

[B]

So let's break it down.

[A]

How to pronounce it?

[B]

Yeah, dude, go for it.

[A]

If you want to learn how to.

[B]

Pronounce character names, absolutely.

[A]

Stage.

[B]

Okay. Well, anyway, it's brilliant. It's so funny and dark and the music's insane and the acting is insanely funny.

[A]

Great. All right.

[B]

And they eat each other out in, like the smelliest time.

[A]

Do they talk? Are they like, it's during the plague.

[B]

It takes.

[A]

Oh, my God, your smells.

[B]

No, no, I wish it takes place during the plague. So everyone's dying.

[A]

Oh, God, yes, it's a plague. Do you realize how common death would have been to you then if you would be like, everyone I know is dead. Yeah, everyone I know is dead.

[B]

Yeah, that's the joke. Like, that's the long running joke, is how frequent people died and characters you love just died.

[A]

How would that affect, I'm saying, your life. You would just. You would not attach yourself to anyone. Right. You would have, like a distance of everybody.

[B]

It's like being old.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because the elderly don't like new relationships. I've heard.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, you don't want to get married at 80 because you're like, why am I going to do this?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

No, I agree. You're probably way more flippant with your behavior, but they did believe in an Afterlife. So there is a threat of heaven or hell. So you probably weren't a total piece of. But you were like, it, dude. Like, I don't give a. I'm gonna die.

[A]

It, dude. I'm die.

[B]

Oh, whatever, homie.

[A]

Holy whatever. Give me that hole. Come on. Probably were just into.

[B]

I wonder if they effed as much as they do in, like, the tutors in my TV shows about Henry vii.

[A]

I think once everyone's dying around you, I don't actually think you go, let's just. Who cares? You're probably just like, I just don't want to do anything because everyone's dying.

[B]

Yeah. Like, you. You're like, I have 25 years to live.

[A]

I think your horniness probably dips down.

[B]

Because you're bummed out all the time about death.

[A]

You're like, God damn. I just. I just had lunch and someone died at the table.

[B]

Like, yeah, that is so true. Yeah, because you're just like, oh, did you hear us? Nicholas is dead. And you're like, oh, okay. What's for lunch? Yeah, it's that common.

[A]

It's a lot.

[B]

A lot of d. And your kids died. You had to have, like, 10 of them so that two would survive.

[A]

Jesus Christ. All right, you ready to start this thing?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Got something good for you. Here we go.

[B]

Name and serial number.

[A]

I mean, my. My ID number. Where's your serial number? Yes, like my people song.

[B]

Is that what you're asking?

[A]

Your serial number. Could you please. My name's Chris. Okay, so could you please explain specifically what you're needing? So what is your serial number?

[B]

That's how we do things with lapd.

[A]

So what is your serial number? Oh, okay, so you want, like, the employee ID number? Your serial number.

[B]

That's not.

[A]

That's not the same thing.

[B]

Oh, that's how LAPD does things. We're not in la, man.

[A]

Are we? No. So what is your serial number? If you want my ID number, it's 9747.

[B]

Okay, so that's your serial number.

[A]

Don't bring to this. We're back, baby.

[B]

Back. Welcome. So good, dude.

[A]

Welcome to your mom's house.

[B]

Welcome. Wow. And Christina Pajitsy.

[A]

Welcome to your mom's house.

[B]

Oh. Feel it. Wow.

[A]

How are these things different? Your serial number. Take it easy, head.

[B]

I mean, doesn't this make you believe in reincarnation?

[A]

Yes. This is the same guy.

[B]

It's the same.

[A]

This is the same guy.

[B]

And he's learned nothing.

[A]

Yeah. No. Yeah, he's reincarnated. To do wreak havoc again.

[B]

Yeah. There's always a menace. And it's him. It's him. God is like, we need this.

[A]

And I got to say this. This cop is like, really handling this well. Oh, yeah, like that says as good as a. Like an exchange can go. If you're. If you're. You're questioning a cop. Hey, what's your fucking serial number? And the guy's what? And it's King county, right? So he's what? That's in Washington. So he's like. And then this guy's like, lapd. He's like, yeah, we're not in la, buddy. We don't do that. He's like, anyway, what's your serial number?

[B]

I know. And he's so sweet.

[A]

What we call PeopleSoft here, that's your employee ID. Nope, it's serial number. That's how we see it in la.

[B]

Is this a joke or something? Am I being pumped? I guess you got nothing better to.

[A]

Do but sit around here? Finish my lunch. I did. Just sitting here.

[B]

Running the unit. Yeah.

[A]

Running gas cost maybe $50 to fill up the tank. 50, $100 to fill up the tank. Oh, no, no. Gas price isn't that bad. So why don't you turn off the unit since you have the windows down? Well, otherwise the radio won't work.

[B]

Well, you got your handheld radio.

[A]

I'm supposed to keep that available so when I get out of the car, I can access battery. Dudes, he didn't follow proto, buddy. You're done.

[B]

But how is it that he even has the same strain in the voice?

[A]

I. I know. It's exactly the same. Probably a similar lifestyle. You know, maybe the lifestyle makes your voice, you know?

[B]

You nailed it. Yeah, Gene. Yeah, bro. Gene, you nailed it. But what is this lifestyle?

[A]

Oh, I can go through it. Well, you don't really sleep in a regular pattern, you know, you don't go like. Well, my. My circadian rhythm's important. Time to go to bed now.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You sleep at odd hours, usually probably minutes at a time. You eat street food and from 7 11, probably a lot of sugary drinks.

[B]

You're sleeping in a car.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or a bus or something.

[A]

Yeah. You don't really lay flat on something comfortable.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Like a lot of ampm hot dogs.

[A]

And then there's like a some natural gifts you were born with upstairs. And then you probably can exacerbate the situation by what other things you drink and smoke.

[B]

Right? Or snort. And I think too maybe the yelling.

[A]

Yeah, makes your voice hoarse.

[B]

A lot of yelling.

[A]

Yeah. Especially police officers to the cops. And again, he also how did they both find cops all the time that were willing to engage.

[B]

So sweet.

[A]

Yeah. Most cops, so nice. I feel like if you were like, what's your. They'd be like, who the are you?

[B]

Or they should.

[A]

What are you doing asking me questions?

[B]

I know. This one's so nice.

[A]

I guess you got nothing better to.

[B]

Do but sit up in the shade because apparently this is more important.

[A]

All these homeless people.

[B]

Yes, it is.

[A]

You're sitting around doing nothing.

[B]

Oh, my God. How much do you get paid?

[A]

$200,000 a year.

[B]

Like LAPD?

[A]

Oh, wish. Absolutely not.

[B]

What agency do you work for?

[A]

King County. Are you a certified peace officer in.

[B]

The state of Washington?

[A]

Indeed I am. I'm a fucking American, you fuck. Mm.

[B]

What was it Drew said that cocaine. You run away from the cops.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You run to.

[A]

Towards them. Yeah, cocaine. You see a uniform, you jump out a window, and on meth, he's like, you can see like, 15 cops. You're like, I'll all you guys up. Yeah, you gotta get it going, bud.

[B]

That's so good. What a treasure. Do we have any more?

[A]

Fed junior? Oh, yeah.

[B]

Fed junior sure. How you doing?

[A]

He's filming these poor little sweet college boys because you don't play a dress up.

[B]

He sounds just like him.

[A]

Just like him.

[B]

Top of the suit.

[A]

Yeah. You're copying. What is that airline? Southwest Airlines that has their employees wearing.

[B]

Shorts and that look like a fool.

[A]

Why do you know that?

[B]

Yeah, why do you know that? How do you cost your job?

[A]

Imagine.

[B]

Yo, how did he know that was a Southwest employee outfit? Like, I've seen them a million times. I couldn't tell you what their outfits are.

[A]

Some of these guys that get this, like, meth savant going on where they can somehow recall things they've seen in passing. Oh, yeah. It's wild.

[B]

It's astounding.

[A]

It's astounding.

[B]

I can't remember that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he. And that kid even said it. He's like, how do you.

[A]

How do you know that? Yeah.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

This is just a fucking college sophomore, right?

[B]

Sweet.

[A]

Yeah, they're just doing. They're minding their business. They're going to something. And that's what the. The. The Herc legacy, I would say is most known for, is disrupt people who are just minding their own business and living their life peacefully.

[B]

But my favorite, too. Yes, that's true, Tom. And that's what makes him so special. But I also liked when he would go into, like, city council meetings.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Because you have to understand, too, that you got to wait a long time. You've got to get through metal detectors.

[A]

The worst.

[B]

It's the whole thing. You got to listen to a lot of people saying boring stuff.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then he waits for his three minutes or whatever.

[A]

Yeah. And then you accost people. Yeah.

[B]

Southwest.

[A]

Yeah, we. About the four going to. If you're going to wear the top, you should wear the bottom.

[B]

That's true. And that's true. He's right, bro.

[A]

Maybe next time I. I see you.

[B]

I'll have all your information.

[A]

Yeah. Never know. That'd be a little weird, though, would you?

[B]

It's a little creepy, isn't it?

[A]

Yeah. Some kind of joker or something. Yeah, it.

[B]

It is true, though, to wear a blazer and then khaki shorts.

[A]

Oh, it's goofy as shit. It's a horrible look, but, you know, it's still just. They're kids. They're kids just doing their. They're going to something together, Right. They're probably going to some social event.

[B]

Yeah. Is that a fraternity? Looks like. Josh, is that like a thing? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so they're. They're just. So he. He targets fraternity boys and police. Specifically Sigma Chi fraternity.

[A]

Yeah. Sigma Chi is what he's all about.

[B]

What. What are the Sigma Chi about? Like, do they represent something that.

[A]

I. I don't think so. I think he just is kind of obsessed with them.

[B]

I mean, do you know Cougar? Is there more backstory to why that frat? I don't know.

[A]

I mean, he also has some problems with Scientology. He's got this convoluted conspiracy, I think. No, no, really? This guy, he's got another one here. Look.

[B]

Look how cute these boys are recording us. Yeah. Why? Why you recording us?

[A]

Cuz I want to. You good, bro?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Have a good day.

[B]

Let me record you as well.

[A]

How about it?

[B]

Why are you recording us?

[A]

Cuz I want to. No, but you can't do it without our permission, dude.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

What.

[B]

What was that?

[A]

What?

[B]

What law is that?

[A]

What? Okay, what law says that? Can you name me the statue?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

It's just general courtesy, dude.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

Courtesy is not law. Have a good day. Catching my camera through the fence.

[B]

You?

[A]

Yeah, pretty cool. It's statute, by the way. It's not statue.

[B]

I thought I heard statue as well.

[A]

Yeah, but. Yeah.

[B]

I'm so excited to see the evolution of this talent.

[A]

Well, it'll end soon, so. Yeah, it's a great. Great thing to get on now so we can see how it goes before it ends.

[B]

Yeah, but. Yeah, they burn out so fast.

[A]

They do, man. They do. It's just the lifestyle of chasing my white chariots and calling out, you know, baby. So, yeah, it takes. It takes a lot out of you. They definitely.

[B]

It does. You have to enjoy them while they're here.

[A]

While they're here.

[B]

Listen, as long as we're here, let me plug my lipstick. I have. I'm wearing Evermore Liquid lipstick. This is Nocturne is the shade. It's very dark and very spooky for fall flavors. Try it out. Also, check out my Velvet Crush blush. I have two shades out right now. It is so luxurious. I'm wearing them right now and. Yeah, try it out.

[A]

Christine, it's time to. You've got to get into your holiday shopping now.

[B]

Absolutely. And I would say order them now because I do limited batches. I order them in limited runs from Italy.

[A]

Italy.

[B]

Italy takes a while to get here. And then here's the different shades you can choose from. Oh, it's such high quality stuff, you guys. And it's fun. It's a little weird. Thanks. Meow.

[A]

Thanks. Meow.

[B]

That's me.

[A]

That's cute.

[B]

That's what I like.

[A]

So you guys want to get some blush with your backup?

[B]

Can I do your face? Can I do you.

[A]

No, I'm good. Why? I'm good. You want. You know who else has a really interesting voice is the lady in this clip. Check this out.

[B]

Thank you. My garbage disposal went out. Oh, dang. I don't have one. Yes, you do. No, I don't.

[A]

Why not?

[B]

It wasn't one installed, so I gotta get one installed. These houses have always had garbage disposals. They always came with them. Not in mine. I never heard of such a thing. They must have took it out. What a wacko. Yeah, I don't have one. I got somebody positive. Yeah, I got somebody to check. I don't have one.

[A]

You looked under the sink?

[B]

He did. Yeah. It's not one there. Why would you do that? Yeah, I bought one. I gotta get somebody to install it. What'd you buy? What'd you buy? I bought one from Lowe's. But I' ma wait because I want a new sink so I get it all done at one time.

[A]

3.

[B]

I just had to order one. Sounds like Joey Diaz.

[A]

Second time, Third time. I've already replaced this every 10 years.

[B]

They go out. Well, at least you got one. I don't.

[A]

Yeah, I've always had one.

[B]

I never heard of such a thing. They all came with garbage disposals. Not me. Why would you take it out? I don't know. Can. Can I tell you Something, though. This conversation is so stupid.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And boring.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm like, I want to shoot myself.

[A]

I know, but I could. I just could listen to her.

[B]

The voice is incredible.

[A]

What are you talking about?

[B]

What are you talking about?

[A]

I've never heard of such a thing.

[B]

That's literally what she sounds like.

[A]

They all came with garbage disposals.

[B]

This is a voice we.

[A]

Why the hell would you take one out?

[B]

This is a voice.

[A]

Insane.

[B]

You and I heard a lot growing up because of cigarettes.

[A]

Yeah, I know. It's another bummer. I know that we don't get these voices anymore. They're only in people that are about to die. Die. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, this was like vintage. This existed everywhere when you and I were kids.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And, you know, not to make it a thing, but it's also kind of. It also kind of sounds like, you know, we were partners. Yeah, they same kind of register. Yeah, we were partners. That's why I got a garbage disposal.

[B]

She sounds like crazy Crusty the Cloud.

[A]

Yeah. That is nuts. I wonder how much she has smoked. Oh, to do that.

[B]

But that. Because who does Crusty. Is it Dan Castaneda? Castaneda. I mean, he's so good. It's that same Crusty.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Dan. Yeah. It's. It's. It's that register. She's kind of shredded up her voice over years.

[A]

If it's just thousands of cigarettes.

[B]

Ripping darts.

[A]

Ripping darts. Yeah. No, I haven't smoked in years. That's what she would probably say. It's really bad for you. It me up now. I just, you know, I drink my teas.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace, the all in one platform designed to build your brand, grow your business and succeed online. Whether you're selling services, booking clients, or just getting your ideas out there, Squarespace gives you everything you need all in one place. It's super easy to offer services from consultations to online classes. You can book appointments, send professional invoices, and get paid all through your site. No more juggling multiple apps. There's a plethora of cutting edge design and SEO tools available to build a custom website that's tailored to your brand or business. With their AI website builder and a complete library of award winning website templates, you'll have a customized site in no, no time. So if you've been waiting for a sign to start building your brand, this is it. Head to squarespace.com mom for a free trial and when you're ready to Launch, use code MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. God, I used to smoke so many cigarettes. Do you remember when we smoked? You just. You just smoked like you were immortal.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're just like, I don't care, and.

[A]

I'm gonna go back. I'm going back, baby.

[B]

When are you gonna pick up cigarettes?

[A]

Soon. I don't know.

[B]

Really?

[A]

I hope so.

[B]

Well, I do think, and this is probably inappropriate to say, but, you know, I talked to my oncologist, and she's like, there are people that smoke their whole lives.

[A]

See?

[B]

Never get lung cancer.

[A]

I know.

[B]

And then the person who never smoked a day in their life gets lung cancer, dies of lung cancer.

[A]

Yeah. It's really crazy.

[B]

Do what you're gonna fucking do.

[A]

Knowing my family history, it's probably not a good idea.

[B]

But you guys are all made of cancer.

[A]

Everyone's made a cancer in my family on both sides. Both sides.

[B]

I know.

[A]

There's like a zero percent chance that I'm not getting cancer.

[B]

Stop.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, hopefully it's an easy one.

[A]

A nice one.

[B]

A nice cancer. Like, what's the dick one? The dick cancer that you just have to treat. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, I'm not looking forward to that.

[B]

What do you did. Because sometimes they don't even need to treat that. You just have to come a lot, right?

[A]

No, that's not.

[B]

Dr. Drew said that when he had it, remember?

[A]

No, he's like, I think you're. That's not the message.

[B]

That's what. That's how he got cured.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. He had. He had surgery. He had his prostate removed.

[B]

And then he had to come a ton. He had to come once a day. He talked about this before.

[A]

What we're talking about are two different things. It's that if you are active and ejaculating a lot, it's good for your prostate. It's good for your prostate to be active, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But once you have an issue with your prostate, if you have prostate, they don't go, just keep coming. It'll beat it. They have to surgically remove it. Yeah.

[B]

But I'm saying for you, for me in particular, wouldn't you love to get. If you have to choose.

[A]

No, not kind.

[B]

Because then you can come a ton.

[A]

No, I don't think you're understanding the situation. That's not how this works.

[B]

Okay. He did say that on the rehab side of it, he had to come a ton.

[A]

I wonder if my new diet that I'm on will help or hurt that.

[B]

What are you doing now?

[A]

So I hired A bodybuilder, nutritionist. And he gave me a plan. And the goal is to get to, you know, like sub 5% body fat.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is that supposed to happen?

[A]

I mean, it's not. They said you can't maintain it for long because you feel like you're gonna die. I just want to see what it feels like.

[B]

What? Yeah, well, of course you need some fat, Tom.

[A]

Right? A whole 5%.

[B]

Okay. Can you google what's normal for a grown ass man, especially an elderly man like my husband?

[A]

Excuse me. Excuse me.

[B]

Oh, you're elderly.

[A]

I'm not elderly.

[B]

Aren't you 50 yet? 67.

[A]

I'm 12 years younger than you look.

[B]

5,000 years old? Yeah, babe. The normal body fat percentage for middle age, that's you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

40 to 59 is generally considered to be between 11% and 21%.

[A]

I'm just going to do three. I'm just going to try to get to three.

[B]

Babe, you're going to have renal failure.

[A]

That's fine. We already just went over. I'm going to die.

[B]

That's true. You may as well be hot.

[A]

Hit the show. More stuff. There you go.

[B]

Essential fat necessary for survival.

[A]

That's what I'm trying to get to.

[B]

You want to get to.

[A]

I want to get to that.

[B]

You're almost there.

[A]

I want to get to, like, almost not alive.

[B]

Do Brad Pitt in Fight Club. Was he there?

[A]

Oh, he was low. He was real close.

[B]

What's the fun? Is. Is it just to see your muscles and stuff?

[A]

Yeah, just to see.

[B]

Just to see how good you look.

[A]

He was between 5 and 6. Yeah, he was 155.

[B]

It's crazy.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

That's what you're gonna look like. And then you're gonna die.

[A]

Probably better than that because I'm gonna go down to three.

[B]

How long are you going to sustain this, babe?

[A]

I mean, probably till you collapse. Apparently. You really want to die when it's that low. I talked to some people. They said you really want to kill yourself.

[B]

Why is that?

[A]

You just feel like absolute. You feel like morning, noon and night and this and your tea drop everything. You're just like, ah. You just feel horrible. And then you're like, take a picture. Yeah.

[B]

So it's just for the aesthetic.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. And also just the. I want to see, like, how far I. What I will do when I as I'm pushing myself and I go, I don't want to do this anymore and how far I can push it.

[B]

You got to do a documentary.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like the Biggest Loser you know. Yeah, but sure, yeah, I'll be really funny, actually.

[A]

Hey, here's a new doc about my body dysmorphia.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What's the lowest you've gotten? Any. Do you know what your walk around percentage is? Because you're real lean. I don't think I've ever checked. I'll pay for you to get a Dexa skin. Okay. What does that. Until you have fat? You just lay down on this thing and it. And it has a full. You get like a full. That thing right there. And then it just gives. You. See that image there on the. On the right? Yeah. On the far right. My getting knocked out.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

Put needles in me. No, no, no. You just. Nothing. You just lay still.

[B]

That's awesome.

[A]

You just lay still and then it shows you your skeletal structure and everything going inside and it tells you, like, it breaks it down like that. Touch me. And. No. No one touches you. No one touches you. Yeah. Okay, I'll do it. Okay. I'm interested. I want to know what yours is. What do you think it is?

[B]

He's like.

[A]

I mean, I. I don't. I have no, like, reference barometer.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

He's like a greyhound.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He's so lean.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Greyhound? Yeah, like a. You know, like a runner.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're like a running animal.

[A]

Yeah. You are like a little gazelle.

[B]

Wait, why do men need fat, though? Because women need it for, like, reproduction and, like, periods.

[A]

I mean, various things. Right. Like, you. Well, your body uses fat as an energy source, and then it also provides you with some insulation. Like, you know, dude, you're going to be so cold. I know. I'm already cold. I'm colder than I've ever been. I'm cold all the time now. Yeah, that's just from dropping some weight.

[B]

That's true. That the. That's true. See, I always thought that was like, a fat person myth.

[A]

No.

[B]

Or like, oh, you're just hot all the time.

[A]

I used to stand up and start sweating. So. Yeah, it's pretty different now.

[B]

This is exciting for you.

[A]

Yeah. I want to be emaciated, you know?

[B]

I know. Yeah, I know. You know, I grew up in the Kate Moss era, and, like, nothing tastes as good as skinny.

[A]

Feels.

[B]

That's what she said. And it's like. It's so true. It looks so much better. It looks so much better.

[A]

Yeah, of course. I was thinking of my disdain for that guy we saw at that restaurant.

[B]

I know, I know, I know. It was like, we saw. We were in In Boca. And we saw a guy who was like, the Monty Python sketch.

[A]

But is this about a copy anymore?

[B]

Yeah. Waffles. Waffle thing.

[A]

A fool.

[B]

When you bring that up, it's like he eats so much that he explodes and pukes everywhere.

[A]

And he's just like, just one little waffle.

[B]

I'm fool.

[A]

I'm fool. It's such a great sketch there.

[B]

I know. Those guys are so great.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I. I get it. Like, the thing. Okay. Can I tell you what makes me sad is because we all want to.

[A]

Be that guy, right? Is indulge.

[B]

Yeah. But you have to. Like, there needs to be a mechanism in your dumb brain that goes, stop it, dummy, because you're gonna kill yourself.

[A]

Yeah. And then some people don't have it.

[B]

Or they do, and they just.

[A]

You push past it.

[B]

Yeah. Because I. I get mad because I go, like, oh, you're such a waste of life. Like, I. Life is so precious and special. To be a human. Like, to be incarnated as a human. You. You won the lottery. The cosmic lottery. And, like, that's what you're going to do.

[A]

It's crazy.

[B]

I get so upset.

[A]

I know. That's what I was looking at that guy. I was like, you're so disgusting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He was so vile.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He goes, hey, we got to move tables. It's not enough room over here.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And everybody was, like, looking around. They're like, what do you mean? He's like, how can we fit? You know? And they're like, oh, yeah, of course, sir. And then they moved him to a table that was more room than they needed, but not if you're considering how fat he and his buddies were.

[B]

Well, the whole family was like, yeah, it was excessively large. I will say, like, so that people understand we're not just talking about someone caring. It was literally like the Monty Python.

[A]

No, it was like the.

[B]

It was a lot.

[A]

It was the Eddie Murphy. Like, the crump. What are they? The crumb.

[B]

The crumps.

[A]

Yeah. They were just.

[B]

Jesus Christ.

[A]

Yeah, they were just huge, man.

[B]

The clumps. Sorry. Yeah, exactly, dude. And you're like, oh.

[A]

We get a couple of these prosciutto plates. So.

[B]

I remember. I know. And we were trying to eavesdrop so that we could hear what they were ordering. I'm like, I gotta hear what this is.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's got to be so much.

[A]

He sat like this at the table.

[B]

Like, oh, man.

[A]

His hands were out here. I was like, God, dude, get your together.

[B]

Yeah, get your together. Get Your life.

[A]

Where did you go wrong? That's what I kept thinking.

[B]

I know.

[A]

So anyway, seeing him made me go 3%. Get to 3%.

[B]

I agree. I think that's a really healthy goal for you.

[A]

You think so?

[B]

Yeah, for sure.

[A]

It's not bad.

[B]

Just going to get down to.

[A]

It's perfect until I'm like, I can't.

[B]

Could you not try? Just do me a favor.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just. Could you not try to actively kill yourself?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is it just. Is this being married to me? You're like, I gotta try to die before.

[A]

Huh? I never thought of that. Huh?

[B]

Yeah. Because you really have a leaning towards self torture. It's like, I'm gonna do the cold plunge and that's terrible.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna pull the plow in the backyard. What was that stupid horse shit? The sled.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now I'm going to get down to 2% body fat.

[A]

I really think I was sticking to 3.

[B]

All right.

[A]

2'S the new goal.

[B]

Are you, like, suicidal?

[A]

Huh? Is it. Is it me? You know, I'll take that one to therapy this week. It's good. A good one to explore.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. You should go for the world record. What's the world record? I don't know. I'm just saying you should go for the lowest possible body fat.

[B]

Oh, let's see. It's got to be like. What about, like, athletes? Whoa.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

That looks.

[A]

Dude, that guy looks perfect. Yeah.

[B]

Is that what you're going to look, dude? 2%. He's 2%.

[A]

Yeah. I can't get to that.

[B]

He looks like beef jerky.

[A]

It's a. It's a beautiful goal, but I can't get to.

[B]

It's not beautiful. I don't like that.

[A]

What do most bodybuilders compete at? Like, what. What's their. When they're competing, what are they at?

[B]

I don't like that at all.

[A]

I wonder. It's gotta. I mean, it's got to be five around there, right? Three to eight. Okay. And women, it's 10 to 15, so that's so low. Yeah, let's just do it, man. Let's just do it. Okay. Look at these percentages. Bodybuilding, 3 to 8, gymnastics, 5 to 12, marathon runners 5 to 11. Triathlon, 5 to 12. Soccer, 10 to 18, tennis, 12 to 16.

[B]

But for women, 15 to 20 and that. And that means, like, you're losing your period at that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We have to be way higher than you guys.

[A]

Yeah, it's going away, dude.

[B]

That's gnarly. Nobody wants to hear that sound.

[A]

The drinking. Anyway, so you're going to be seeing some kind of dramatic things coming these next few months.

[B]

Like the machinist, Christian Bale.

[A]

Well, the interesting thing is, you know, I got the. The plan. It's not starving. You're not starving. You're actually just eating. You're eating more times a day, but you're just eating specific things.

[B]

What? Okay, what are you eating? Just chicken. Yeah.

[A]

No, yeah, it's a lot of lean. It's a lot of lean stuff. Yeah. And then. Yeah, there's some. There's carb cycling. Yeah. Carb cycling, yeah. High days, medium days, low days.

[B]

It's just. Tom.

[A]

What? Why is that crazy?

[B]

What are you doing? What is this?

[A]

Fucking 3%, man?

[B]

What is. You don't have enough challenges in your life? You don't. You're. You're writing the TV show, you're taping a special, you're touring, you've got a family, and now you gotta. You gotta torture your body on top of this. Like, what. What is going on? Just do drugs. Could you just start taking drugs?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You're such an. Is this an addict's brain? Is that what this is?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Can't be still.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Just be still. Enjoy your. Stop it.

[A]

No, you got to do something else.

[B]

Can I tell you what I've been doing? Yeah. I want to actually take a minute here to thank Rob Eiler.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So, look, since I. I was sick last year, I started crafting pretty hard. And I. I really thank you for not pointing out the excessiveness of my supply buying.

[A]

You do a lot of.

[B]

A lot of.

[A]

Yeah, a lot of. There's always a number of things that arrive at the house, usually on a.

[B]

Daily or, you know, it's daily, it's hourly, it's pro. It's a problem. Yeah, I admit that. But, yeah, I mean, we started off. I started off drawing. Drawing you nude, which. I sold that, which was awesome.

[A]

Thank you so much for that.

[B]

And then acrylic painting, and then I got into clay, and then it got to paper mache. And I was buying, like, mannequins to put papier on and paint. And then I was telling Rob about the papier mache because I've got, like, paper mache pumpkins lying around. The kids are going to paint. And. And I've been. I was saving newspapers to use later for the papier mache sculptures that I'm making. Saving boxes, saving papers. And Rob was like, Christina, you got to stop this.

[A]

This.

[B]

You got to stop this. I go, why? He goes, you're going to ruin your marriage. This is. This is deal breaker, type of. And I just want to thank you, Rob, because I threw away all the papier mache hore. I knocked it off. I'm going to her. I'm not going to do that stupid stuff anymore because it is a. It's a lot of around the house. You're right. And I'm just going to. Now I'm into watercolors. I just bought one little tiny palette and just a one pad. That's all I'm going to do for now.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

Watercolors.

[A]

Watercolors.

[B]

So maybe some art will be coming out of you. Those beautiful blue eyes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But thanks, Rob. You're right. It was bullshit.

[A]

Maybe I'll get into some artsy stuff too. Okay. Would you like that?

[B]

You know, can I tell you something? Can I talk to you for a second? Yeah, you'd enjoy it, but there's something about you that likes to torture yourself more. Like this kind of shit. Like, I gotta get down to 3% body fat. Like, there's something in you that. The self flagellation bit. Yeah, you like that? That's true. You like to really push it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know why you don't like to enjoy yourself. This is not you either pushing it to the max like that, or you're just like, chilling in bed watching murder. Like, Those are your two. It's like I perform in front of 10,000 people in an arena or I'm isolated in the house watching murder.

[A]

You just described what it is to be a man.

[B]

Is that right?

[A]

Yeah, we kind of. Yeah, like, if we succeed. Like, there's no succeed. There's no success. Like, you just got to do the next thing. Oh, you gotta hurt yourself. You gotta feel like you're accomplishing something, beating something, you know?

[B]

Yes, that does make sense.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

No, that's lovely. I do like that.

[A]

The plight of the man.

[B]

It is. What is it? Is it testosterone?

[A]

I don't know if it's testosterone necessarily. I mean, I'm sure that plays a role in it, but I don't know. I don't know why that's the thing that men. A lot of men just go, well, don't. I guess it's just. Don't be complacent.

[B]

Yeah, you guys have itchy assholes.

[A]

Yeah, you gotta scratch Em.

[B]

You gotta scratch your asshole. You gotta get out of the house. I gotta go. I gotta Build. I gotta do. I gotta.

[A]

But I also feel like I'm a better person than other people. No. I'm a better version of myself when I'm doing things 100%.

[B]

Because a man who doesn't have a purpose.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Becomes very fucked up.

[A]

That's real. That's very real.

[B]

Oh, sure. We've known men like this.

[A]

We know them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They don't figure something out, like a passion or a drive.

[A]

It's not good.

[B]

It's not good. It's not good. But, you know. Can I tell you. Can I talk to you for a second? This is. What.

[A]

Jesus. Could you make more sounds over there?

[B]

Stupid. I'm a idiot. But the thing is, as I've noticed about, like, what, you know, we've been married for 20,000 years and like. Oh, God, so long is that I got to let you have your itchy. Don't even fight the itchiness. Let you itch it, scratch it, get in there, dig it in. And then you'll come back when you're ready, when your asshole's thoroughly cleaned out and irrigated and you're exhausted.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then you come home.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I'm like, hey, babe, how was your. How's your butt?

[A]

That's your summary. That's pretty good summary, right?

[B]

Yeah. Whereas me, like, I used to have an itchier asshole. And now that I'm like, I'm chilled out. I love being home. I love gardening. I love my bullshit crafts.

[A]

You find joy in it.

[B]

The cats.

[A]

You're able to just be there.

[B]

To be.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I think women. Yeah. When you're balanced, you can exist. You're being, and then the man is doing.

[A]

I think men struggle with that more.

[B]

Being. Yes. And I know. And I always think it's weird that they're spiritual leaders. Like, they should definitely not be.

[A]

They should not be.

[B]

Men have to come and do things too hard.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It. They're not qualified. They're not. They're not. Okay. I have to piss. And then I want to discuss who this is here, too.

[A]

Okay. Go take your pee.

[B]

All right.

[A]

How was your pee?

[B]

It was good. It didn't smell like coffee anymore.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I drink enough water.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

Wacko. I love her so much.

[A]

She's great. She's really good.

[B]

Wacko.

[A]

You know, every. Every house here has a garbage disposal. What are you talking about? Why would he take it out? You gotta get 3/4 horsepower to run it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Thank you for that.

[B]

That is a very east coast vibe, though, there. This is not a West Coast. Like that voice never happened.

[A]

No, that's definitely in the northeast.

[B]

Yeah. That's a sad shut in. I feel like I don't know this person, but I'm saying, like Josh Potter, like I imagine somebody he's related to is this person.

[A]

That's hilarious. Yeah, he's like, oh, that's my aunt Edna.

[B]

A thousand. Yeah, yeah. Like a rye chest.

[A]

I'm the one to get Josh started on smoking.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

I gave him his first cigarette when he was 9.

[B]

This is your aunt's house that you go to. And she's got the cookies, the fucking Royal dance cookies from Rite Aid or whatever. Everything's from the fucking pharmacy. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

She's rad, man.

[B]

She's a good one. Yeah. Very American. Oh, sorry. This one, this is really cool. As you know, I collect all the Barbies that have come out. This One is type 2 diabetes Barbie.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

Which is really special. It comes with her little monitor.

[A]

Sure. It's sold out. I mean, it's gotta be gang. All the kids are like, well, I want diabetes Barbie.

[B]

Can I tell you how they could actually sell?

[A]

These guys are doing good. Yeah.

[B]

Our sons would take this and it up.

[A]

Of course, they break the arms off of it.

[B]

Thousand. That's the only way you're gonna sell this is if you sold us to little boys. They could them up.

[A]

Yeah. And then Julian would be like, I'm trying to feed him donuts so that the sugar spikes.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Exactly. Or like the wheelchair Barbies. Like our guys would race those down the drive.

[A]

Of course. I guess, you know, I mean, it's fair to say representation does matter. So this is just so that you know the little girl out there who has diabetes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Feels like, oh, this is a doll that looks just like me. Right?

[B]

Well, as long as she's hot.

[A]

Yeah. This, this, this doll is hot and sick like me.

[B]

They're always hot. Like, even the down syndrome Barbies are like, hot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's the weirdest. I mean, I guess, I guess Barbie is still a dream.

[A]

You know, she's got her, her mobile phone and it's, it's set to the screen where you're monitoring your insulin, which is always fun for a child to be like, oh, yeah, my insulin. And then you can see the ins. The built in pouch. It's kind of cool. But she's got a sexy, she's got sexy shoes and a sexy purse and her sexy little skirt. Nice.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah. I don't know. Is that, is that the case? Like when you have an illness do you want to play with.

[A]

I think so.

[B]

A doll that helps you.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, I think you want, I think you want to see things. People that look like you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think that makes a lot. Yeah.

[B]

Does she wear, have, does she have heels? Really?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Look, look, look in there. Yeah, they're.

[B]

They're so funny. I've got diabetes.

[A]

Diabetes. I'm still hot. Yep.

[B]

It's a mini skirt.

[A]

Yeah, I know.

[B]

This is brilliant. Oh, she's even. Yeah. She's got the patch on her, on her arm that's constantly monitoring.

[A]

How come they don't have like sex worker Barbie, you know, like a straight up hoe.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, you don't think they want to see themselves represent?

[A]

They're the children of a sex worker. Go. How come there's not one that looks like you?

[B]

Mom. Thank you. Yeah, do better, Barbie. Do better.

[A]

Yeah, I agree. You want to see something that's fantastic? You like music, right?

[B]

Yeah, I love music.

[A]

Spider Woman. Yeah, that was, that's JLo if you're listening. She's been in the news lately saying that like what she's all about is, you know, Broadway and that she was trained in musicals and like, I guess this is like a new direction she's going to go in.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

So that she was singing here with her, her coach, Stevie, and it said the review here says she has received a good amount of hate for this.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She's so likable. That's so weird.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So humble.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So sweet.

[A]

So I guess like that's what she's pushing towards next is to be on.

[B]

Broadway, which is not a bad business move when you're not moving tickets for the concert.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I think these people that watch musicals, I'm not one of. It's just not my jam.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I think when you have a celebrity headlining them, it's a big deal.

[A]

It's a big deal.

[B]

It's a draw.

[A]

It's a big deal.

[B]

I, I might go see it. Just to see her going.

[A]

She walked away from that though, like you just heard that shit.

[B]

That's why, that's why it's so good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's why it's so powerful. Because she believes she's amazing.

[A]

I did that. Yeah, I did that. Yeah.

[B]

She, she does have the confidence of like our 7 year old.

[A]

I mean, I think maybe that's why you're a superstar.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You have to have a real crazy level of confidence. Yeah.

[B]

Yes. And in, and look in her defense, that level of.

[A]

But I'll Say, this has gotten her that far. Normally when you see really impressive voices, they go, you know, they finish the, the note, they're singing, and they're just kind of like, there you go. And everyone goes, holy shit. And they go, oh, come on. Me?

[B]

Shucks. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But this was different.

[B]

This was so true. Like Placido Domingo. You would watch him and he would just kind of look down at the flake. I felt that. I felt it. And now it's out of me. And yeah, there's, there's, there's not a lot of humility.

[A]

Yeah. In this one.

[B]

But this is why I think it'd be interesting to see her do Broadway, because I feel like Broadway too. You're gonna get reviews.

[A]

Tons. Every night.

[B]

Every night you're gonna get that feedback straight away from the audience.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

You're gonna get canceled in a week. You know what I mean? Like, you gotta put ass in seats. I wonder how long she can do that for in Broadway. I don't know. I'm here for it. I, I, what is she gonna do? Do we know what play or what music?

[A]

I don't think it's said. I'm saying she's put it out there. Like, what I'm, what I'm great at, what I'm really good at.

[B]

Yes, yes, yes. That's right. I remember reading O.

[A]

This is the new movie that's out.

[B]

But it's a musical.

[A]

Oh, it is a musical. Okay. And is it out now?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, look at the reviews. 77. That's not bad.

[B]

Never even heard of it. No. That's fantastic.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I love Kiss of the Spider Woman.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, so, so what are, so what are people saying? I, I've never even, I didn't even know this was out.

[A]

This happens all the time now, though. Movies come out and it's not the same. It's not like it used to be where you'd always know what's out.

[B]

It's, it's different because this is a major undertaking. Kiss of the Spider Woman.

[A]

Yeah. Let's see what's going on with this. Let's see what it is. Okay. This is a musical drama film written directed by Bill Condon, based on the 1992 stage musical, Stars Diego Luna, Tona Tu, and Jennifer Lopez. It was, let's see, positive reviews from critics. Yeah, it looks like it's well reviews, but it is a major box office bomb, grossing just 2 million against a budget of 30. Yeah. So it's, it's not. People aren't going to See it, but they're not. They're saying it's good.

[B]

That's so interesting because I feel like JLO really had a. Yeah, it's really.

[A]

Crazy what's going on. I don't know.

[B]

Is it social media? Now that we're seeing people's personalities, it's.

[A]

Made people find her generally very unlikable.

[B]

I know, and I've heard story after story.

[A]

There's a lot of stories. I have a personal story. I know one firsthand.

[B]

Can you share it?

[A]

Yeah, I guess I can. So a couple years ago, I was on tour and I was doing the bus thing, so I was chartering buses. And I don't really like it. Like, I don't like the bus lifestyle, just personally. But, you know, it was just. It was a bus tour. So every week, bus would either pick you up at your house or you'd fly to the bus and the bus would take you for the run of the tour. And I hadn't signed a lease for like, one time. I did a bus for a year. This was like, before I'd done that. So I would charter different ones. And so one time I had some leg coming up and they offered me this really nice bus. They showed me photos. Like, this is like a state of the art bus. So I did it for like a week or two. It was like a. Just a short period of time. And I got there, I was like, this bus is unreal. I mean, the bus looked like a luxury hotel. It was crazy. And when I got on, you know, I'm looking at it and talked to the driver and really nice guy, and he was telling me all about, you know, all the features that it has. It's like totally state of the art. It was incredible. And I go, God, like, this bus feels like it's, you know, for superstar. And he was like, well, like, Jess was with JLo. And I go, no. And he goes, yeah, she had it for like six months or something, you know, for her tour. And I go, what was that like? And he was like, well, he's like, you know, everybody in the camp is really nice and kids are nice and her boyfriend at the time, really nice. Everyone's really nice. And I was like. But he's like, well, he's like, we, you know, we never spoke. And I was like, for six months? He's like, nah, we never exchanged the driver. The driver, yeah, goes, and I drove her, like, all over the country. And then he goes, the day that I dropped her off, so it was like, this was the last Day I dropped her off at her house, and she just didn't make eye contact, just walked off and walked away. Like, Never said, like, goodbye, thanks. Just nothing. But that, to me, is indicative of, like, a personality type. If you're the type, has somebody drive you for six months. I know, but you don't even say.

[B]

But to really understand the gravity of this, too. So this bus life you're speaking of, it's very intimate.

[A]

It's very intimate.

[B]

It's. You, the driver. Sometimes that's it.

[A]

Yeah, sometimes that's it. Sometimes it's, you know, the driver, somebody, and. But the driver of a. Like a charter bus, like, that. It's different, right? They are. They're not just. It's not like a bus in a city that's taking you from, like, stop to stop. The. That driver is the. He is the captain and the cleaner and the maintenance guy. He is. He is. He's like your pilot of the. You know, I mean, he does everything. So you have. You have a lot more interactions with them. It's not like, you know, when you at a bus stop and you get on, you just walk on. You walk on in the morning and, you know, you greet them and then you realize that, like, oh, they. They had, like, cleaned up this section of the bus and everything is taken care of. And then, you know, he washed the windows and he made sure that, like, there's pillows on your bed. Like, he does all of that. That's crazy. So you have, like, a really intimate. Yeah, like, even.

[B]

Okay. But even from, like, a human thing.

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

Like, hey, Rick, good morning. Yeah, I gotta take a shit, but I don't want to shit in a moving bus. Can we pull over so I can stop?

[A]

And she would relay that to somebody else, right? Well, yeah. She never talked to him for six months.

[B]

Just from, like, a safety or like a human bizarre.

[A]

But again, that's tough to do. There's something about, like, pop stars where they, you know, the whole thing is they be. They're divas, I guess. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, in my world, in my mind, it would be harder not to speak directly with him.

[A]

You'd have to make an effort to not speak to that person. Yeah. Can you tell? Also, don't forget, there's also the moment that is where you kind of have the most interactions, especially with a familiar face, which is getting on and getting off.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Every time we would pull up to venues and you just walk up and be like, all right, Rick, thanks. I'll see you in a few hours. Like, she never did that. Or you get back. Or like, the show's over, doors open. What's up, man? Where are we headed tonight? And he's like, four hour drive. All right, I'll see you when we're there. Like, those things. None. Zero. Wow.

[B]

And I also heard a story. I don't know where it was on the Internet somewhere where it was before she was really, really, really famous.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And she wanted to see a movie at a movie theater. And she had them lock down the entire theater so that she could come in the back way and watch a movie. And this is. Well, before she had that type of celebrity to do something like that.

[A]

I don't think people would care if she went anywhere now. I think 0% would flip out.

[B]

And not only that, like, I would say that, you know, you're very recognizable these days. And, like, we move around. It's really not that crazy.

[A]

People just come up to you and they say, hi.

[B]

It's not.

[A]

Or they stare at you and say nothing. That's the other.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Which is just what it is.

[B]

But if you were to go to a movie and just kind of sneak in with a.

[A]

It's fine.

[B]

You're not gonna.

[A]

Yeah. This is not.

[B]

She's not that amazing.

[A]

Well, that's. You're not that type.

[B]

You know, Michael Jackson would have to have done that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's different.

[A]

Yeah. I actually think that Taylor Swift. Yeah, she can't do that.

[B]

She can't.

[A]

But most celebrities. I'm talking about high level celebrities.

[B]

No.

[A]

They can go into the movies. It's fine. People would just be like, holy shit. That's who it is.

[B]

That's it. And they shut up and they leave you alone.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No. Nine times out of 10, it's normal.

[A]

It's normal.

[B]

So she didn't need.

[A]

Which means that, like, she. That's the funnier part, actually, is that she had to go like, we need to shut down this venue. And then somebody, like, in her management had to be like, wait, why? Hello. I'm gonna get absolutely mobbed.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

Then the business manager would be like, that's such a crazy amount of money to spend on that. She's like, do you want me to get fucking attacked? They're like, okay, all right, that's fine.

[B]

Right again. And. And also, you can also just watch the movie at home. You could probably get a screener.

[A]

Hello. That means somebody would have to bring it over to the house. I don't think so.

[B]

Why are you ruining that thing? Theater's day.

[A]

It's Just crazy.

[B]

Dealing with your nonsense.

[A]

Let's pivot to something more.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The woman guitarist can have three colors. Red color, giving energy, life force. And we have green color. Healing power.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And white color is disinfection.

[A]

Hold on.

[B]

Woman make love, and they think that the. The husband need more energy. So you use your thumb pointed to the guitarist and change the clit and the vagina into red color. So when you make love, you can feel that you have more red energy and you can give your loved one with more light for. But what's the green? That's infection.

[A]

No, white disinfection.

[B]

Oh, right.

[A]

Green is healing. Healing powers.

[B]

There's no way. I never had it green.

[A]

Well, you need to.

[B]

I don't know what's going on.

[A]

You got a lot of problems.

[B]

I've only. You know. I don't even know if I had a white.

[A]

Yeah, this is great.

[B]

I'm not so sure.

[A]

We got to get you into more of green. Our balance and have compassion. Whites are purifying and calming.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But red. Red's fire.

[B]

Red's where it's at.

[A]

You got to get that clit red. It's a new shirt.

[B]

Stop it.

[A]

Can we do a red clip shirt?

[B]

Oh, no. Oh, I'm gonna puke. No woman wants to hear this.

[A]

Why?

[B]

It's so gross.

[A]

What's gross about it, you red clit. What's gross? He's giving you energy advice. You don't think that's good?

[B]

I do. I do think that obviously sex is an exchange of energy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't like the color coordinated. I don't like it when he talks about it. Do you have to be a woman.

[A]

That can you like this? She just want to come out, come over for a snack and go.

[B]

That was cool. I kind of liked him.

[A]

Yeah, you liked it?

[B]

Yeah, because he fought. He flubbed it.

[A]

He flubbed it. Oh. Oh.

[B]

He wasn't cool. It wasn't. It wasn't slick.

[A]

But isn't it kind of cool to be a little guy with a huge hog like that? Yes, that's kind of cool.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

It's kind of the best case scenario if you're a little man. You have a big old dong like that.

[B]

Don't you think?

[A]

What?

[B]

I mean, this is probably stupid, of course, but don't you think they all have big ones in relation to being small in stature?

[A]

No. I mean, I think it's just like any other segment of the population.

[B]

Just relative penises.

[A]

No, I think it's relative. I think this guy has a genuinely large Dong. And sometimes they do.

[B]

I don't want to. I don't like it.

[A]

Okay, here we go. Come over for a snack and. Go.

[B]

He's an attractive lp, though.

[A]

He is.

[B]

He's got a really nice face.

[A]

Yeah. And he's got a big old dong.

[B]

How do you know it's so big? How do you know?

[A]

I mean, I was just looking in the.

[B]

What am I. What do we. How do you see it?

[A]

I didn't see it the first time. Okay, hold on.

[B]

Oh, it's there.

[A]

No, you're seeing the shadow, though, right?

[B]

Oh, whoopsie. Yeah, I missed that. But don't you think you could shoot, cheat that with shadow work? Like, things look bigger.

[A]

I mean, you could cheat it to an extent, but you can't make it something it's not.

[B]

You know, I didn't see the shadow. Yeah, I'm not looking for dicks all the time like you are.

[A]

Well, it's just. It's right there. I mean, I didn't have to search hard.

[B]

I was looking at his face and his delivery.

[A]

You don't want to have a little snack?

[B]

I hate you so much.

[A]

All right, I'll get you something you like.

[B]

I don't like these guys.

[A]

What do you not like, man? Don't you love pickles?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I have an extreme fear of trying new foods. And today I'm gonna try my absolute number one fear food.

[B]

He's confused.

[A]

He's hyperventilating or.

[B]

Well, they're slimy. They're crunchy. I get it. They're seedy. Yeah. They smell weird. I like.

[A]

God, this guy.

[B]

Yeah, I could see myself.

[A]

It smells so bad. It's, like, slimy.

[B]

Yeah, it's green. Yeah. It's weird.

[A]

There's. He's never. He's not gonna go out. You think he's gonna do it?

[B]

He's gonna puke. Because the steak he tried, he didn't have this typo. Negative. And he's already.

[A]

Wow, he's a mess.

[B]

Wow, he really hates this. Then why are you doing this to yourself? You don't have to eat a pickle.

[A]

Gotta. Gotta make content.

[B]

There's no nutritional value here.

[A]

1.

[B]

Do it. You can do it.

[A]

I can't do it.

[B]

Oh, you. He's definitely not Eastern European. You just eat it. I can't do it. I can't.

[A]

I mean, bro, you can't even post this.

[B]

Yeah, bro, that's not cool.

[A]

You didn't need. You didn't eat it.

[B]

At least take a little lick. Like, touch your tongue, too.

[A]

Get your Red. What?

[B]

But I. I can see myself getting this mentally ill, can't you?

[A]

Yes, of course. Yeah, of course.

[B]

This. This could be me in a bad. In a bad year, in a week. I don't eat white things. I don't eat chariots everywhere. Yeah.

[A]

What's your serial number? Yeah, I could see you doing that real soon.

[B]

Oh, yeah, But I love pickles. This is not. It wouldn't be pickles for me. It would be things like chicken, because I get worried about germs. Tuna fish is gross.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Sushi. I would stop eating raw fish. It would be more about those things for me, like, bacteria getting sick.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What would your. Do you think? Like, how would you go.

[A]

How would I go mental?

[B]

Yeah. Like, what would your mental illness be?

[A]

Recluse. Like, probably isolate.

[B]

Howard Hughes style.

[A]

Yeah. Be real. Isolate. Don't talk to anybody anymore. Yeah. At all. Just shut the door, make it dark, sit in the room.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

And be papers and everywhere. What are you doing? Like, working on some. I'm writing. And then you just see, like, one letter written like, J 70 times. You're like, okay.

[B]

Are you into video games or are you that shut in that you're not even communicating with others on video games?

[A]

I mean, I could do video games. I probably wouldn't communicate with people, though. I would just do, like, without that. Yeah, yeah, I could do that. But I think I would actually just get into a deeper isolation and throw the system off the roof.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can see myself going crazy with this food thing and then with animals. Like, I can see myself adopting so many animals. I. It starts with the cats. I need the dogs. I'm gonna get the chickens. I want to get a goat. It's gonna be like that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the house full of animals everywhere.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And hair everywhere in the bed and stuff. And it smells bad. And you're like, babe, I can't.

[A]

Yeah, you as cat lady. That could be a thing.

[B]

Cat lady. Dog lady.

[A]

Dog lady. Yeah.

[B]

It's just all the animals, birds everywhere.

[A]

Pissing all over the house.

[B]

Yeah. That would be my.

[A]

Hey, these are my babies.

[B]

100.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[B]

That's my problem.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You're the opposite. See, because I want the companionship and love. You want isolation.

[A]

Yeah. No human contact. Yes. I could see that. This is a horrible or hilarious. Are you ready?

[B]

Yeah, buddy.

[A]

I'm so excited. I haven't seen any of these. Now is the better. You're going again.

[B]

Oh, oh.

[A]

Oh, he's holding on.

[B]

He's.

[A]

Bro, that car's going like 40. Holy. That's where it ends.

[B]

What, did his hand get stuck in the. The window in the door?

[A]

Holy.

[B]

Oh, my God. Dude.

[A]

There were no further reports on the incident. It was never found. And NYPD getting involved. Holy. That's.

[B]

Please, let's see it again. Let's see the beginning.

[A]

I don't know if he got stuck or he held on. He's yelling, hey, hey. Yeah. Smart to pull the feet up. That was smart. Oh, my God.

[B]

He was just holding on to the door handle.

[A]

I mean, I think his hand was on the inside, but that's wild. That could. I mean, that must have ended okay. Actually.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the guy probably stopped because if he didn't. If he didn't. If that guy just went flying, that would just be well known. I feel like, you know.

[B]

Yeah. Like, he would have lost his legs already or his feet.

[A]

That was nuts. That was a good one.

[B]

That was a good one.

[A]

I'm awake now.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I don't. Yeah. Oh.

[A]

Holy. You get what happened there?

[B]

Yes, sir. She landed on her ankle.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

But like, her leg twisted because she went to box the thing. I don't like it. It's not funny. It's a freak out.

[A]

That could be broken. I don't know if it's broken or not.

[B]

It's broken.

[A]

You think it's broken?

[B]

It's broken.

[A]

Imagine that from, like, what happened. It's just the torque. The torque of doing it. She missed. She didn't make contact. And then that just spun her around and she either broke it or severely sprained it. Yeah, well, she'll be all right.

[B]

Horrible.

[A]

She'll be okay.

[B]

Yeah. It's like at a kid's place, too. This is like open air. Horse. Oh, the lights flickered on that one.

[A]

Oh, my God. I thought we were going to see someone disembowel. This is a new level, dude.

[B]

And he touched his stomach. Like, I just made that. Let's see. Today.

[A]

Yeah. He just checked himself out. Like, are my intestines still inside?

[B]

That was a lucky day, bro.

[A]

Holy.

[B]

Dude, buy a lotto ticket. That's. Wow. That. He just saw his whole life flash before his eyes. Dude, that was like a near death experience. Can you imagine going through that? Yeah, I'd have to take like the. The week off.

[A]

Just sit in the room. Like, I. I wouldn't be able to pick that thing up again. Somebody else do this.

[B]

New career.

[A]

Incredible.

[B]

That was the gnarly. I thought he was gonna cut. Slice himself in half.

[A]

This is something about the world today. Though that I think about sometimes is that the only people that would handle something like that 20 plus years ago would be somebody, like, very highly trained in doing that. And in today's world, you can just be like, I want to band saw. And people are like, yeah, just there you go. And then you. I got it. And you go, chat. GPT. How do I do that? And people just, like, look up. They go, I know how to do this. And so you have a lot more occurrences, I think of, you know, tool accidents. Because people have access to them now.

[B]

Right?

[A]

We didn't used to have access to everything.

[B]

No, these are uninformed.

[A]

Yeah. This guy doesn't know what the he's doing. No, there's no chance. I thought he was going to spray. I thought there was spraying on the.

[B]

Wall, but he's trying to slice tile, bro.

[A]

Yeah, that.

[B]

With that thing.

[A]

He didn't know what he's doing.

[B]

And he's light, too. He doesn't have enough weight on him to push that thing. Oh, dude, this, This. I would never, never catch me doing this.

[A]

I found the thing I don't like.

[B]

Yeah, what is this?

[A]

I don't like it.

[B]

Spool rolling.

[A]

I don't like necks and backs breaking.

[B]

I don't like that.

[A]

That. That was awful.

[B]

How does it start again?

[A]

I don't care. And I'm not showing it again.

[B]

No, they're trying to roll in, like, the cable spool.

[A]

This is like, at a fair.

[B]

That.

[A]

Dude, I love Aftermath. No update. Okay, yeah, she could be. I think we just saw like three or four vertebrae. Just go.

[B]

Please, just.

[A]

Oh, fucking fine.

[B]

Just let me see how they. What's the. What went wrong in the execution? Oh.

[A]

And fun music. Hey, you wanna see someone get paralyzed.

[B]

For people just listening. She folded over on herself. Her. Her front. Her hands went on the floor. And then she fucking folded over on herself.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Dinner. Nanner.

[A]

I'm so upset right now.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I need something to.

[B]

That sucks, dude. I'm Ryan and.

[A]

All right, I want to be recognized by some of the hottest women here on Instagram. So spread the word.

[B]

You got it, Ryan.

[A]

Hey, there it is right there. That's what we need to do. Can you. Everybody who watches knows at least a hottie. One or two hotties on Instagram. Why don't you let them know to acknowledge Ryan, please? Somebody give him a little acknowledgment.

[B]

He wants to meet the hottest women. Are you the hottest women? Meet Ryan.

[A]

Meet Ryan. He wants a big ass in his face. Don't you like doing that stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Dude, come on.

[B]

Give Ryan some love.

[A]

Meet him. Love him. Do it. Jesus Christ. So upsetting.

[B]

I know.

[A]

So mad right now about that video.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hate it.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Ugh.

[B]

No, it's not good. I had it.

[A]

Look, when you read it, my mother for real jury poor father is in birth.

[B]

In birth.

[A]

They trying to say, you embarrassing me, son.

[B]

She said she.

[A]

I put jury on jewelry.

[B]

Jewelry.

[A]

What. What is the relationship of this father and son?

[B]

You think it's good, but it's positive.

[A]

I mean, the father had to go to, like, certain levels of acceptance, right? I mean, he's not like, oh, yeah, come meet Todd. He's regular kid.

[B]

Okay. There's. There's two scenarios. Dad was absent during Todd's childhood or Todd just came out mentally ill. Yeah.

[A]

And he's just been used to it.

[B]

He's just like, over Todd. This look is really outrageous. I do like the look, though.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know. I'm gonna go with Todd just came out messed up because dad's still a part of his life right now, so.

[A]

I think he's doing a character maybe, too. Right? This could be. This could be a character thing in this day and age where people just understand that, like, if you do something outrageous, you might get a following. Maybe he's not really like this 24 7. I mean, he did say father correctly and then goes, I mean, father.

[B]

Oh, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's. It's. I don't know.

[B]

I wonder if the tats are real.

[A]

I'm smart. Like, who the look all this art artist on my face, though. You feel me? Like, real, though. Like, you know what I'm saying? I love my dad, bro. He love me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Y' all trying to break up families, and that's up. You know what I'm saying? Twin tap in.

[B]

I got motion.

[A]

You feel me?

[B]

This is. Those two. Those twins started this, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Those that look that Florida, or were.

[A]

They the island boys?

[B]

Island boys?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This is island boy look.

[A]

I mean, kind of.

[B]

Yeah. And then they talk the same way.

[A]

Are this kid's tats real, though? Doesn't something about them kind of read false to you? Yeah, real.

[B]

They look. They don't look real to me, but I'm not a tattoo expert.

[A]

I mean, he's. These are nuts, bro.

[B]

Yeah. This guy got mental problems.

[A]

So what is, like, pull up one of those. What's he talking about?

[B]

Bang.

[A]

I'mma do something.

[B]

Bro.

[A]

If y' all keep calling to my life saying, fight, change, I'mma do Something.

[B]

Yeah, Todd's. Todd came out this way, baby.

[A]

Yeah, he might have been. Yeah.

[B]

Wires are crossed.

[A]

No, I'm proud of you. See? You, you, you, you, you, you and you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

See, there's. That's another voice. Tap into it. I got motion. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Now, nobody's born talking like that.

[A]

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? My father loved me, man.

[B]

I do. Like I did. That's a chola girl.

[A]

Yeah. I want him to be observed.

[B]

I'm about to get no she.

[A]

Oh, look, he's with his dad there. Let's see that. His dad's so tired. Was I ever in detention? Detention in school. Yep. I see that. The reason why I look like that, I'm a mother.

[B]

Too much time up in there.

[A]

You ain't never been in trouble in your life. You ain't never done anything. Went past the green light, you went red. I'll tell you this, though, that dad has a. He dissociates. And he also is patient. But every once in a while, he goes, cut the fucking shit, Wyatt. He's got to stop talking like that.

[B]

He's got to.

[A]

And then Wyatt goes like, all right, dad, you got so mad. Yeah, I just. Can I borrow another five grand to get a chain?

[B]

This is such a bad. I mean, and you can't even lock these. These fools up anymore.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what I'm saying? You can't. You can't just give them to a mental hospital and be like, just lock.

[A]

I mean, this guy needs. First of all, he needs a following. You can't get. You can't employ him anywhere.

[B]

No. This guy's fucked.

[A]

What are you going to do? You can't do a job.

[B]

He's done. No, you got. You got to. You got to put these people in. Yeah.

[A]

He could work in a warehouse, you know, maybe.

[B]

But he wants too much attention.

[A]

Of course he can't. And everyone would be like, could you just fucking stack those boxes, please? Yeah.

[B]

No. This kid has a lot of needs.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I would be so bummed if one of our.

[A]

Well, good luck.

[B]

I hope he's making music at least.

[A]

He's making music.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

I'm sure it's.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

It's probably really good.

[B]

You never know.

[A]

All right, let's wrap this up. We got things to do. Thanks for watching. Thanks for listening. We will see you next week.

[B]

Bye, Mommy.

[A]

Bye. Sarah's two times only, and they know how to work. I'm looking for a bike girl or a fat ass I'm looking for a bike girl or a fat ass. I'm looking for a bike girl or a fat ass. Serious. I'm looking for a biker or a fat ass. I'm looking for a biker or a fat ass. I'm looking for a biker or a fat ass and they know how to work. I'm looking for a bike girl with a fat ass. I'm looking for a bike girl with a fat ass. I'm looking for a white girl or the fat ass Ferris I'm looking for a bike girl or the fat ass. I'm looking for a bike girl or a fat ass. I'm looking for a bike girl or a fat ass and they know how to work. I'm looking for a bike girl or the fat ass. I'm looking for a biker or a fat ass. I'm looking for a white girl or the fat ass. Serious. I'm looking for a biker with a fat ass. I'm looking for a bike girl with a fat ass. I'm looking for a white girl or the fat ass and they know how to work it. I'm looking for a white girl or a fat ass. I'm looking for a bike girl or a fat ass. Serious. I'm looking for a bike girl or a fat ass. I'm looking for a bike girl or a fat ass. They know how to work it.