Steph Tolev is NAUSEATED By Cool Guys | Your Mom's House Ep. 814

Summary

Your Mom's House Ep. 814: Steph Tolev is NAUSEATED By Cool Guys

Release Date: June 11, 2025
Hosts: Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura
Guest: Steph Tolev

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1. Live Show Announcements [00:00 - 00:56]

Tom Segura kicks off the episode by promoting his upcoming live special taping in Milwaukee on November 15th at the Riverside Theater. He also mentions additional shows in Atlantic City, New Jersey, on June 20th and 21st. Christina introduces the episode's guest, Steph Tolev, highlighting her new Netflix special, Filth Queen Clean, set to release on June 24th.

Notable Quote:

• Tom Segura [00:00]: "Get ready, Milwaukee... Welcome to your mom's house."

2. Guest Introduction and Banter [00:57 - 09:59]

Christina and Steph engage in playful banter about Christina's fitness journey for her upcoming special. They discuss weight training, body image, and the challenges Christina faces balancing fitness with personal insecurities.

Notable Quotes:

• Christina Pazsitzky [01:00]: "I honestly didn’t want people to say that I was fat, ugly, and a trans."
• Steph Tolev [02:31]: "You have to stay in that place of self-loathing and restraint all the time."

3. Discussion on Favorite Foods and Poutine [09:59 - 24:59]

The conversation shifts to favorite foods, with Christina expressing her love for ravioli and poutine—a quintessential Canadian dish. They humorously critique various poutine recipes, emphasizing Christina's disdain for unconventional and gross adaptations.

Notable Quotes:

• Christina Pazsitzky [03:21]: "I love a dip. I love a sauce, sauce. Gravy."
• Tom Segura [05:03]: "I had to lie and say we're 17 and get into all the bars."

4. Hustler Shoot Planning [24:00 - 37:55]

Christina discusses her plans to participate in a Hustler magazine spread. The trio humorously debates various poses, covering up body imperfections, and the logistics of the photoshoot. The conversation reveals Christina's anxiety about public perception and maintaining her personal image.

Notable Quotes:

• Christina Pazsitzky [06:07]: "I can do two cocks. I’m not doing a full spread."
• Steph Tolev [08:08]: "Oh, there's Jules Ventura."

5. Encounter with Jefferson McDonald and Scamming Stories [33:00 - 48:47]

The episode introduces Jefferson McDonald, a recurring character who shares his experiences with scams, particularly one involving someone impersonating Keanu Reeves. The hosts express disbelief and amusement at the bizarre nature of the scam, highlighting the dangers of online impersonation.

Notable Quotes:

• Jefferson McDonald [33:26]: "He put banana and corn chips and ice cream in her ass. And they ate it all out."
• Christina Pazsitzky [34:48]: "I can’t believe that woman showed her face after that."

6. Social Media and Content Creation [48:00 - 58:35]

The conversation delves into the challenges of social media algorithms, content creation, and the impact of viral videos. Christina shares her frustrations with her TikTok algorithm, while Tom and Steph discuss the peculiar nature of the content they encounter online.

Notable Quotes:

• Christina Pazsitzky [48:45]: "I have to watch that video once a week now, so I won't eat anymore."
• Tom Segura [49:16]: "He's wearing a thong."

7. Parenting and Societal Expectations [58:35 - 73:22]

Steph and Christina discuss the intense demands placed on celebrity parents, referencing Kim Kardashian's extensive nanny setup. They critique the societal pressures of raising children with an army of caregivers and express concerns about the lack of personal involvement.

Notable Quotes:

• Steph Tolev [69:47]: "Kim Kardashian is setting a whole new standard in child care."
• Christina Pazsitzky [73:00]: "My parents never debated voice even it was a baby I saw."

8. Sexual Discussions and Humor [73:23 - 82:47]

The hosts engage in candid and humorous discussions about sexuality, relationship dynamics, and societal perceptions. They touch upon topics like sexual therapy, addiction, and intimate relationships, blending humor with personal anecdotes.

Notable Quotes:

• Christina Pazsitzky [74:57]: "I've seen those. So they’re weird."
• Tom Segura [81:55]: "He’s a ladies man. We like to lick box and put fingers in them and make him happy."

9. Closing Remarks and Final Banter [82:47 - 87:53]

As the episode nears its end, Tom reiterates the promotion for Steph Tolev's Netflix special and Hustler spread. The hosts continue their playful and irreverent banter, concluding with lighthearted jokes and well-wishes.

Notable Quote:

• Tom Segura [83:10]: "Hustler coming up as well. And then her and I don't know if her and Tony John are going to work together in some way, but it's gonna be."

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Concluding Insights

Episode 814 of Your Mom's House offers a blend of comedic banter, personal stories, and topical discussions centered around body image, social media, and the complexities of modern relationships. The introduction of Jefferson McDonald adds a layer of absurd humor, highlighting the show's penchant for blending reality with exaggerated fictional elements. Throughout the episode, Christina and Tom maintain their signature humor while addressing relatable personal insecurities and societal pressures, providing listeners with both laughter and moments of genuine connection.

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Note: Due to the explicit and humorous nature of some discussions, the episode contains mature content intended for adult audiences.

Transcript

[Tom Segura]

Get ready, Milwaukee. I'll be filming my live special taping of my come together tour in Milwaukee on Saturday, November 15th at the Riverside Theater. Get your tickets to the special taping during the pre sale today at 10:00am local time with the code word Tommy. I'll also be in Atlantic City, New Jersey next weekend for two shows at Hard Rock Live at Etis arena on Friday, June 20th and Saturday, June 21st. Tickets and all info [e-mail] Tour well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. And we are back. And joining us today is one of our absolute favorites. Don't forget her new Special comes out June 24th on Netflix. It's called Filth Queen Clean. Please welcome Steph Tolle, everybody.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Thank you.

[Steph Tolev]

Step, you look amazing.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I've shed a couple lbs.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, you're in the best shape.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Put down the hot dogs, put down the old shipperinis, and here we are.

[Tom Segura]

You look fit.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I. Thank you. I. I am strong.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Strong as hell. Yeah, I think so. My legs are strong.

[Tom Segura]

You like the weight training?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I hate it.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

This morning, working out of my hotel, bragging a woman was doing yoga and her husband was in there watching her. Just, just like, just no, like, like waiting for man to look at her. And I was like, buddy, she's a butter face over here. So I don't know what you're looking at. No one's coming in here talking to her.

[Tom Segura]

So, like, really protective.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. And it was weird because her face was so ugly. I feel so bad saying it, but it was hideous. And her, her body, I was like, oh, what a waste.

[Tom Segura]

Great bod.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Great bod. Or abs.

[Steph Tolev]

But. Or like, what an improvement. Because if I. I think if I had an uglier face, I would be working on the bot a lot more.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Excuse me. What do you think? I'm over here working out. I literally, my main reason was to lose weight for the special because I was like, I honest to God didn't want people to say that I was fat, ugly and a trans. And I was like, I could be. I could be the two. Let's get fat out of there. Ugly, trans. Keep it in. Get the fat the fuck out of it.

[Tom Segura]

It's so great to recognize the madam ugly. You're beautiful. But to recognize that when, you know the shoots coming up because, yeah, when I had, I shot a the series back in October, it was like mid summer last year, and I was like, oh, I gotta dial it in.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You're fit. You're very fit.

[Tom Segura]

I've gained since we wrapped, I've gained 1012 pounds.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh.

[Tom Segura]

Because I, like, I was so determined to try to, like, lean down. I know I gotta do it again. I gotta do it.

[Steph Tolev]

You have to stay in that place of self loathing and restraint all the time.

[Tom Segura]

It's good for you. Mentally, it's good.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I don't.

[Steph Tolev]

But I. I go back and forth between, like, self restraint. I'm not doing anything bad. And then I just go up. Like now I'm drinking wine every night. And then. You know what I mean? Five days later, I'm like, oh, I should reign it in.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's. It's.

[Steph Tolev]

Everybody does.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It is. But it's also. I feel like as a woman at this age, you have one piece of meat and you're swollen. I'm like, the next morning, I have my double chins back. I'm like, what the am I doing right now?

[Tom Segura]

What's your favorite food?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, ravioli. Suck back some Chef Boyardee right now. Put it in a bowl.

[Steph Tolev]

The canned. Oh, yeah, I like that one too.

[Tom Segura]

You like pasta?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, but, like, but no meats. A steakhouse. I. With the steak and a Bernese. Sauce it up. I love a dip. I love a sauce, sauce. Gravy.

[Tom Segura]

French food. French rich, buttery sauce.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Buttery dippies. Dippy dippies. Yeah, yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

Your Canadian treat. What's your favorite?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, poutine. It's disgusting.

[Tom Segura]

Like, Norm's famous poutine.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, I haven't had that one.

[Tom Segura]

You haven't had that?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, my God. We'll. I'll pull it up for you. We have like a whole video of how he makes it. It's unbelievable.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Is it good?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Is it somewhere? You say this and it's some weird video of a guy pulling cheese curds out of his pee hole.

[Steph Tolev]

It's delicious.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You did it to me last time, like, oh, what is this? And it was a man getting ass railed. And I was like, I hate whatever this is.

[Steph Tolev]

That's not us.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, okay. It is.

[Steph Tolev]

It is.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You guys, it's changed a lot, okay?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, we've changed a lot.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm waiting for a dick to be one of those fries right now. I'm just waiting for it.

[Tom Segura]

Just before. God, I love. We'll do a whole poutine thing here in a minute. I love poutine. It's such. I think the first time I had it was like when I went for the Montreal Comedy Festival.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, me too.

[Tom Segura]

I hadn't ever experienced. I was like, oh, this is fantastic.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Because you need the Squeaky curds. That's the main thing. Yeah, squeaky curds. And you need the, like, beef gravy.

[Steph Tolev]

I like that gravy. Do they put it on anything else? They should put on, like, pasta?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Can they put it on?

[Steph Tolev]

I don't know, dude.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, that.

[Steph Tolev]

Especially when you're drunk walking around.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, that was the Bell Provence. That disgusting place where the men that work there are, like, wet. Like, they go to, like, punch in and their fingers, like, slip off the cabbage or they're so. They're like. You could wring their dicks out. They're all like a pile of oil. Oh, yeah. The po Hours are so deep. It's so gross.

[Tom Segura]

Good food.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, just delicious. The hot dog poutine.

[Tom Segura]

Did you go to Montreal a lot as a, like, growing up or was that kind of.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you could drink younger. You could drink at 17.

[Tom Segura]

Doesn't it feel crazy even though you're from. Like I always felt when I went there, you're like, oh, I feel like I'm 4,000 miles away. It doesn't feel like.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It doesn't feel like you're anywhere. No. It was a five hour drive from Toronto, so my parents let me borrow my car. We'd go when I was 16. We'd lie and say we're 17 and get into all the bars.

[Tom Segura]

Amazing.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, yeah. And I was quite the little. Kissy kissy. Those French boys didn't care about the nose. They liked the old French Nazarino. I was getting fingered left, right, and center on those bars.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, yeah. Just. I wasn't. I was. I'm not gonna go all the way, but I let them finger me in a dark alley.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. That's sweet of you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It was cold. I kept their fingers warm.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, of course.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm so thoughtful. I'm a nice gal, that's what.

[Tom Segura]

Fingers Warm could be a good name. Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'll do that for my Hustler shoot. Put your fingers in here, boys. Warm them up.

[Steph Tolev]

We've been talking about this so before we got on camera. You're gonna do a Hustler?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Shit, I am.

[Tom Segura]

Leg spread, ankles over the head.

[Steph Tolev]

Let's look up some poses for you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

If I did legs over the head, I would become a paraplegic. My legs would never come back down. I swear to God, if you lock my legs back there, we're screwed.

[Tom Segura]

Why don't you do one of those two cock poses that I can do?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I can do two cocks. Yeah. I don't know if my boyfriend loved that. I can do two cocks. I'm not doing a full spread.

[Tom Segura]

Well, let's.

[Steph Tolev]

Let's discuss what you're gonna do. Should we plan?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I mean, we don't. I will say.

[Tom Segura]

What about on the knees? Knees is good looking back, right? Hold on. Looking back and spreading one cheek so you. You spread with one.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

See the butthole?

[Tom Segura]

Butthole. Yeah, butthole.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, I can't be showing my. My anus is a mess. We were talking about the bathroom. I got hemorrhoids. It's a whole thing. That's not Hustler. What is that? If that's Hustler, I'm fucked.

[Tom Segura]

No, we want. We want a hustler.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That woman on the beach. Sand in your. Do you know how many sand fleas are down there?

[Steph Tolev]

You have to think about how your thighs look like when you're on your knees. Your. My thighs don't look great.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

My legs are my only good quality. Oh, so I can slop around the legs. It's the. And the tits and the ass and the asshole that are the problem. It's everything else that's the problem.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So maybe we'll just do just legs.

[Tom Segura]

You could do these.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Some of these are okay. Okay. Yeah, like the. The. The forward lean with the boot. I can push the boobs forward. That's nice.

[Tom Segura]

That's nice.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Somebody else into one piece. Give me a one piece. What about that?

[Steph Tolev]

Look at. Do you have a nice.

[Tom Segura]

That one with the dropping.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I can do the dropping. I can do the. No, out. This is nice.

[Tom Segura]

All right. It's just covering.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's. I mean, I need a little more fabric there, I'll tell you that.

[Steph Tolev]

Everybody's tits look good like that. That's why.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, that's pushy. Pushy. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good pose.

[Tom Segura]

Can we see a little more hardcore?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, let's see what I. I'm up against here. Let's see a little bit more anus spread. Yeah. The spread also would need two hands with a spread. One hand spread.

[Tom Segura]

But take. Take cover out of there. Just.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay.

[Steph Tolev]

These ones are okay poses like Hustler magazine.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So there's. There is tits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That could be pretty sweat.

[Steph Tolev]

Because they look better when they're oiled.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They do look oiled up. They look nice oiled.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, how about that with the leg spread right there?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Do I bring in my own oiler?

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, that's nice.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What's the, like.

[Tom Segura]

Spread like that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's. Oh, my. Just do that.

[Steph Tolev]

That's nice.

[Tom Segura]

Everyone's gonna talk about your Shoot. Everyone's gonna talk about it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I do that, I will lose every fan I've ever had.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, or you'll gain some.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'll gain ones that I don't want.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, there's Jules Ventura. Yeah, but that's a hard pose for me to do. That wouldn't be flattering for me.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's all my laby will be dragging on the floor that. That pose is.

[Tom Segura]

That would hurt my knees.

[Steph Tolev]

Do you have a heavy labyrin?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes. Well, I'd be peeking around or like.

[Tom Segura]

Where you're holding your leg up. See how that one there. She's holding her leg up like that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Look at that vagina. That's. I call that the old two lines in a hole. There's not a lot.

[Tom Segura]

The old two lines in a hole.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Does she have a hemorrhoid? She's got a pimple by her.

[Steph Tolev]

No, they'll airbrush out the hemorrhoids. Everybody's got him.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Look at. They didn't. For her.

[Steph Tolev]

That's. That's.

[Tom Segura]

That's really sweet. That's a nice post, that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's sweet.

[Tom Segura]

That's really sweet.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It does look childlike. There's a nice. You know. What is the lighting. It's a soft lighting part stuff.

[Steph Tolev]

You should practice now your angles and finding your angles.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'll tell you what. Serious crane. Get the camera in a crane, hover it over a street view.

[Tom Segura]

Angles are.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, we're going up.

[Tom Segura]

Imagine seeing your. There you go. That's what you gotta do.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay, that one. I could do everything covered.

[Tom Segura]

No panties, no bra. But, like, just like that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I have a hairy ass. I'm at the wax. Everything. This is gonna be a lot.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, you better before the shoot.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, what am I thinking?

[Steph Tolev]

And.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, you're growing it out now.

[Steph Tolev]

Everything waxed.

[Tom Segura]

Dude, that's gonna be so cool.

[Steph Tolev]

Is it just you or can you have a male partner in it, or is it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I think it's just me.

[Steph Tolev]

Just you?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, you and your butthole. Nothing else.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, I just put a mustache in two guys. My. Me and my partner. There he is. Dude.

[Tom Segura]

If you put little. If you did a little like the. The Groucho on my.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's. I'll do that. That's funny. That is funny.

[Tom Segura]

You will go viral.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That is. Oh, my goodness gracious.

[Steph Tolev]

So n. How does she do?

[Tom Segura]

That's rad.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

She's awesome.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's. Can I tell that kind of looks like you.

[Tom Segura]

The girl to the right. The double. Look at that. The two of them.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

The two of them. Just two gals hanging out.

[Tom Segura]

You know, the funny thing is girls.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Have two girls goofing off. Come do with me.

[Tom Segura]

Everybody in this pose is happy. Look at all the. They're always happy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Are they? They look kind of like. If you zoom in, they look like they're really struggling.

[Steph Tolev]

No, they look so calm. I was going to say, I think.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They look like they're strained a bitch.

[Steph Tolev]

They love it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Very bizarre pose.

[Tom Segura]

I'll take the pillow underneath my body.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, look like. Look. That looks craz. God, buttholes are so gross.

[Steph Tolev]

Steph, you and I should recreate this post.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, God, look at that. It's so open.

[Steph Tolev]

Can I tell you something? I hate spread it too. The spread is.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm not a doctor.

[Steph Tolev]

I know. I don't like that spread because also.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What is that in there? What's that piece?

[Steph Tolev]

I don't know what that. I don't have it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I don't. You might have.

[Tom Segura]

You're looking at.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What is that piece? Is that piece real?

[Tom Segura]

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[Christina Pazsitzky]

No. Do we have the piece? Tom, does she have the piece? It looks like a larynx.

[Steph Tolev]

What is the piece, babe?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It looks like if you're gutting a chicken, there's like a.

[Tom Segura]

You know, you're focused so much on the cooch and her butthole.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Like, look at that tit situation, I didn't even notice. I know.

[Steph Tolev]

To be honest, you should practice your spread if you choose to do it. How far are you going to spread.

[Tom Segura]

If you're doing toys? One in your ass and one in your vag and one in your mouth? You got to start practicing. It's going to really stress you out that day.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, God. Toys. No, I show them that I'm healthy.

[Tom Segura]

It'll be, you want to do this?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I want to do this.

[Steph Tolev]

After I get my new tits.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

I'm gonna heal a little bit.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, yeah. You can't have fresh cuts.

[Steph Tolev]

No. And then I'm gonna do this. What do you think?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, it's a fucking great idea.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Great idea. Everybody.

[Tom Segura]

Everyone will know at school, for the boys, they'll be like, hey, I saw your mom.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Great spread.

[Steph Tolev]

What are you talking about?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

This is a good thing.

[Steph Tolev]

You can give it to their teachers for Christmas. We can give it to everybody.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

One of these chicks has definitely at least signed it. Like, hey, Merry Christmas.

[Steph Tolev]

Actually, I know somebody who did a very. Yeah. Provocative shoot in Playboy, and she signed a bunch and gave it to her dad for her dad to give his employees.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Huh?

[Steph Tolev]

So think about that, too.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, I don't want to think about that. I actually hate that. And now I'm for sure covering everything up. I'm scared my tits are gonna come out when the special comes out because I've sent these jugs off.

[Tom Segura]

Don't Forget Filth Queen June 24th on Netflix and oopsies Steph will be spreading her butthole for your entertainment and hustler.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, I won't. But yeah, these jobs are coming out your generation.

[Steph Tolev]

You guys have all sent around your body at this point. Is there even any shame to. To that?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, there should be because it was never. I was always like a double chin in it or like I had a tit hair. Like, I was never like, I wasn't prepping them. I wasn't oiling them up.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, you should oil them up.

[Tom Segura]

We didn't play our opening clip.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh my God, we're just so.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

We should gab.

[Steph Tolev]

So much fun.

[Tom Segura]

Ready? Here you go.

[Tony Johns]

I'm gonna put some corn fleet in your booty with some milk. Oh, yeah, girl, I'm trying to tell you. Nicki Minaj, you know, that's for you. That milk and corn flake in your booty. Megan the Stallion, you next. Oh, conflict raising brain.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He's a brain in your booty.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Who is Randy?

[Tony Johns]

Don't bring anyone mother into this.

[Tom Segura]

Well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom.

[Tony Johns]

Segura.

[Tom Segura]

And Christina Pajit.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Welcome to your mom's house.

[Steph Tolev]

Why are you trying to turn on Steph?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

See, that's the guy. That's what I'm gonna have liking me after. I don't want after my spread. He also putting milk. Unless you have hot sauce in your. You can't be putting milk in there.

[Tom Segura]

It's true.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Milk. That's not.

[Tom Segura]

You wouldn't like to have corn flakes eaten out of your butt.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm good. I. I really don't like ass eating is really. I mean, you have to be scrubbed. This is the longest intro I've ever heard in my life. As I keep going, I was like, can I talk yet? It's four hours.

[Tom Segura]

Fifteen years of the same intro.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That long?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Every single episode, huh?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, maybe I was nervous last night. This time I'm like irritated. I'm like, can we wrap up the whole thing? I gotta talk about my asshole.

[Tom Segura]

So long.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It is so long.

[Steph Tolev]

So long.

[Tom Segura]

Yes.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No edits, huh? What is it, three minutes?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it's pretty long. Pretty long.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's still going.

[Steph Tolev]

He's always into eating stuff out of girls butts. That's his thing.

[Tom Segura]

That is.

[Steph Tolev]

I'm gonna lick your booty. I'm gonna put a whipped cream in there to banana and the banana split.

[Tom Segura]

Y' all know what's a banana split? Yeah. And then he does. And then he goes, I'm gonna crush up some corn chips. You're like, that's not in a banana split.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No. He's getting carried away.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, he gets real.

[Steph Tolev]

But he's very thin. He's not an eating guy. So what is this food thing?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Maybe no one's let him do it.

[Tom Segura]

No, actually, I was with him when he. He did it to somebody.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Are you serious?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You met this man in person?

[Tom Segura]

I flew to.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, you didn't.

[Tom Segura]

I swear to God. I flew to Lafayette or where was it?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, right, Louisiana, to meet this man.

[Tom Segura]

And then we. A girl came in the room and he put banana and corn chips and ice cream in her ass. And they ate it all out.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

She opened it up.

[Tom Segura]

I mean, more closed, you know?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Are people not worried about yeast infections anymore? If a little bit of dairy would even near. If I don't wear cotton underwear, I'm scratching for three weeks.

[Steph Tolev]

Of course.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I don't know what to tell you right now. We're airing out right now, Baby, I gotta. We're not slopping in a corn chip.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I know. It's crazy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Crazy gross. It's disgusting.

[Tom Segura]

But I could also. If you're. I know you're seeing someone, but if you're not, I could hook you up with him.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

My boyfriend is so hot. That is. And he's real. That is a lot.

[Tom Segura]

Tell me about your boyfriend.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I love my boyfriend so much. He's okay. Do you know Shooter McGavin from Happy Gilmore? Yeah, it's his nephew. And they look exactly.

[Tom Segura]

Really?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Bring up Jefferson McDonald. Bring him up? Yeah. Full name. I don't know if I'm allowed to.

[Tom Segura]

Jefferson McDonald.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I love him so much.

[Tom Segura]

You love him? So how long you been seeing him?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

A year and a half.

[Tom Segura]

Half.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

There he is. There's my lover.

[Tom Segura]

Wow.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, my God. Exactly like him.

[Tom Segura]

He.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Look, it's so crazy. So I met him at the Last Factory. He's a singer. He's a piano player. He opens for me now on the road. And he opens for my. My, not my. It's a mess back there. But he. He's a very sweet boy. And I met. He was at. At a show with. With Shooter at the Laugh Factory in la. And I was fangirling over Shooter and he was with him, and I was like, who's this dude?

[Tom Segura]

He really looked.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's bizarre.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's like, how do uncles look that much? Like, they're. It's crazy.

[Steph Tolev]

Maybe they're not uncles.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I thought his dad looks like him, but his. It's. They have the same mouth.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

Did you grow up? Did you have a boner? Well, yeah, Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I hate to break you. I did. There he is. He did my podcast. I. I really did. I. That's why I met. Look at us. Look at. Cute couple.

[Steph Tolev]

He's a real Aryan dazzler.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I know. You know why I always liked a real white guy? Because my baba always was like, marry Bulgarian. Keep it in the family. And I was like, I don't want anything like this. I don't want anyone who looks like anyone in my family. They're all hideous people. Any Bulgarians? Enough hair on my body. We don't need more hairs combining up here. It's disgusting behavior.

[Tom Segura]

And you met at the club how long ago?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

About a year and a half ago. Almost two years. Yeah, Yeah, I know. He's. He moved in with me right away. Three months.

[Steph Tolev]

Whoa.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm. Oh, yeah, he's coming. He's flying in right now to see me and he.

[Tom Segura]

You live in LA together?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He was on a cruise ship in Japan for three weeks.

[Tom Segura]

And now let me ask you this. Is he American?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He's American. So if I fail my citizenship test.

[Tom Segura]

So she's testing soon.

[Steph Tolev]

I know.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And I am.

[Steph Tolev]

I'm going to tell you. They're going to ask you. They're going to ask you to write a sentence in English.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Any sentence.

[Steph Tolev]

You got to know the president, the vice president.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm going to say, I heart Donald Trump. I'm going to wear I make America great hat.

[Tom Segura]

Let's. Let's test you on a few things.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, God. Okay. This is embarrassing. I'm stupid.

[Steph Tolev]

No. We're gonna test you for your quiz. We're preparing you.

[Tom Segura]

This is.

[Steph Tolev]

We're gonna try. I might be wrong, too. I'm.

[Tom Segura]

So when was the constitution written?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, 1776.

[Tom Segura]

No.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

1772.

[Tom Segura]

No.

[Steph Tolev]

1985.

[Tom Segura]

No. Constitution. Not when was the country.

[Steph Tolev]

1862. Columbus.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Did you know what it was?

[Steph Tolev]

1450.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. Are you ready?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

1787.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

1787.

[Steph Tolev]

Nobody knows that. They're not gonna ask 17.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I was close.

[Steph Tolev]

They're not gonna ask you that.

[Tom Segura]

Don't. Don't rely on that.

[Steph Tolev]

They're gonna ask you the. The most basic.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay.

[Steph Tolev]

Trust me. Dumb dumbs.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's hard. Does anyone know that? Listening. 1787.

[Steph Tolev]

They're gonna ask you what stars and stripes represent on the flag.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

States and colonies.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, here's one that could. Ready? Ready.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Who is the father of our country?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

George Washington.

[Tom Segura]

Good.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, I like to call him Papa Michael Jones.

[Tom Segura]

When is flag Day?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Who the.

[Tom Segura]

Oh.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

June. It's in June.

[Tom Segura]

Yes.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I've Read these cards a lot.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. Okay, good.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

See, I'm American.

[Tom Segura]

What is the largest state?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Texas.

[Tom Segura]

No.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

California?

[Tom Segura]

No.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Alaska. Oh, damn it. I should have got that. Actually. I'm failing. That's, that's three months.

[Steph Tolev]

You're doing great.

[Tom Segura]

Should Canada be the 51st state?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

Good answer.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I know. That's another. I, I, I would say no. Normally, no offense, but yes. That's not a question.

[Tom Segura]

I did. Because they might just add it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They might. And I'll say Canada.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, exactly.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Burn them all. Burn my whole family alive. I don't care.

[Tom Segura]

I want to be the political party of the. The president now.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Republican.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, good.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

See?

[Steph Tolev]

See, you're good.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm good.

[Tom Segura]

That's a couple more. Couple more.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

How many states are in the United States?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

50. Wow.

[Tom Segura]

Jesus Christ.

[Steph Tolev]

Are you sure? I thought it was 50.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I know. That's why. I thought it was 52. That's why. But that says 50, so I'm not getting confused.

[Tom Segura]

It's 50, baby.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It is 50.

[Tom Segura]

Yes.

[Steph Tolev]

Are you sure?

[Tom Segura]

Definitely.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What are the other. Why is there 52 stars, then?

[Tom Segura]

Are you thinking of playing cards? There's not 52 stars.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

There's 50. 50 stars.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay. So I got to write. I got to write.

[Tom Segura]

Who elects Congress?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

The people. The blue ones are easy.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, they are.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. That's why I know the blue ones. The red ones are hard.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, okay. So who wrote the Declaration of Independence?

[Steph Tolev]

Your mother? Who the wrote it? Who know. Do you know that?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. But also, don't disrespect these questions.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Segura]

You're a guest in this country.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wait, is it, Is it a person's name?

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, hold on.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

John C. Riley. Tom Thomas Jefferson. Yeah, I need you there pointing the point. Help me.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, now you're. You're gonna get this one.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay, here we go.

[Tom Segura]

When was the Declaration of Independence adopted?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Did I already say the number?

[Tom Segura]

You. Yeah, you had it. You had it earlier.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay. 17. No, 17. You did that now. I think. That's not 1772.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah. And which specific date?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

The full date.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah, it's. It. Come on.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, July 4th.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. You got it, man.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Dude. Welcome to America.

[Steph Tolev]

Welcome to America.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Try to kick me out now, Trump, Please don't. I've tried so hard. I've worked so hard to get here.

[Tom Segura]

Well, look, let's shift it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Let's shift it to something Canadian.

[Tom Segura]

So. We told you. Poutine.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Huge hit.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

Great. Fantastic food.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Hello. I think we're going to make French Canadian poutine.

[Tom Segura]

Fries.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What are poutine fries? Well, poutine fries are basically your fries. Cheese and a great appetite.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What on God's green earth am I looking at right now?

[Tom Segura]

This norm center, however, there's going to.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Be a bit of a change to the recipe. Everybody likes to change the recipe.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, they don't. These ones are going to have fries, cheese, pig and pig piss.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, it's going to be a treat.

[Steph Tolev]

He's Canadian too.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, don't, don't.

[Tom Segura]

He's from Calgary.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, that makes sense. Keep those. Okay, so let's get. Let's get things happening. Oh no. Does it come out? His penis comes out. Pee on the fries first. Oh my God. Wait, what is it is.

[Tom Segura]

It's in a cage.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Pig dumped on my fries. I can't look at this actually. This is. This is grotesque. No, he doesn't poo. It's just the beginning.

[Tom Segura]

No, it's just some pig are covered in pig piss. What? You're not even proud to be Canadian?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

This is our Canadian test. That's what we have to do. This nice price.

[Tom Segura]

So every immigrant.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, no. I actually can't watch this. I can't, I can't. Oh my God. I hate you guys.

[Tom Segura]

God.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Is it ground? Oh God.

[Steph Tolev]

This is the best part.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, I can't, I can't. The fact that already watched this is. Is making me. What's that?

[Tom Segura]

Some cheese.

[Jefferson McDonald]

French Canadian portion.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Here. I don't know why that's worse than the rest of it. Somehow that.

[Tom Segura]

Oh God.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He doesn't eat it. I'm not going throw up.

[Steph Tolev]

Does he eat it?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, I can't look.

[Steph Tolev]

No, just look. It's.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I can't look.

[Steph Tolev]

Just got to watch you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Why is a garbage here? I'm not joking. I. I hate it. Why is it still going?

[Tom Segura]

Okay, why are all your clips so off?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm sad. She throw up. That's so bad.

[Tom Segura]

It.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It has to stop.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, okay.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It actually has to stop. I can't. You know what? I can.

[Tom Segura]

This show is sponsored by Liquid iv. I've got a few big plans this summer. Some travel, some time outdoors, and definitely some long days in the sun. So I'm loading up now with everything I need to stay ahead of the heat. And top of that list is Liquid iv. It's peak hydration season and Liquid IV is the perfect companion. They just launched Arctic Raspberry and their sugar free options use live hydro science for smart effective hydration. Always keep a few sticks in my bag. Whether I'm off to a barbecue gearing up for a show or just out and about. It's easy. Tear pour mix with 16 ounces of water. Done. My go to flavors are white peach and lemon lime. And they've got fun ones like rainbow sherbet and cotton candy. All non GMO vegan and free of gluten, dairy and soy. No matter what summer brings, tear poor, live more. Go to LiquidIV.com and get 20% off your first order with the code YMH at checkout. That's 20% off your first order with THE CODE [e-mail]. yeah. Here's an American. They got super. You ever seen a super strong guy?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No. He's gonna break something. I hate these videos.

[Tom Segura]

Crack this cement.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, he's gonna do something bad to his body. This is horrendous. Stop lying to me.

[Tom Segura]

I promise.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Look, No, I can't. I'm gonna watch your reaction, I swear. No, I can't. No, it's something bad. It's a bone's gonna. Yes, it is. I'm watching your face.

[Steph Tolev]

Nice. It's really nice so far.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, it's nothing.

[Tom Segura]

Stuff.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, it's. I can't. I hate this.

[Tom Segura]

He just gives up. That's it. That's the clip I told you. Yes.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I don't believe anything you say. What is this? Oh, that was bad. You know what? I need to watch that video once a week now, so I won't eat anymore.

[Tom Segura]

There's Norm. He used to be a mortgage broker in Canada.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's terrifying. If you. You trusted that guy with your finances and your mortgage, and then. Then you found out that's what he had.

[Tom Segura]

Then you find out it's like a chef who's making all these crazy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, yeah. Let's call that a Canadian chef.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Get rid of the keg. That's what they. That's an appetizer.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

What a difference a head tattoo makes too, huh?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Christ.

[Steph Tolev]

It's a real.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You can tell? No, you can tell with soulless eyes. He's got no lids. They're dry as hell. Ew.

[Tom Segura]

He looks way different now.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I hate that.

[Tom Segura]

Like that the poutine video.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I hate him so much. No, I'm actually, like, really upset right now.

[Tom Segura]

That's him now.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, he's a bad guy.

[Tom Segura]

Underneath it with the pig. See how it says?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What the is his problem?

[Tom Segura]

That's him now. He got the tattoo pig on his forehead.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What? Why is he so sick about pigs?

[Tom Segura]

He likes being like a submissive to a couple doms.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So those doms better be getting paid millions upon millions of dollars.

[Tom Segura]

They're getting anything they can get out of them.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

The smell that radiates off that pig pissing clown. I can't.

[Tom Segura]

What's crazy is what you're saying right now is making him so hard.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I know. Does he watch this?

[Tom Segura]

I don't know.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, he can't. Look at my head.

[Steph Tolev]

Try tick cups for Hustler. Just show her.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I saw that. I saw the tick cup. I saw they swell them up. They push them in.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So he doesn't his boobs done. He just puts them in these cups.

[Steph Tolev]

That looks nice. That's a nice angle.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

His pig.

[Steph Tolev]

Norman Somerton.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Full name Summertime Good.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Seven hours now.

[Steph Tolev]

Today, seven hours. Can you do that?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

This man. This is a bad man. I hate this man more than I've hated anybody.

[Tom Segura]

He's a sweet guy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Different interests. Yeah, this is hot.

[Tom Segura]

Look at these tickets.

[Steph Tolev]

And also I didn't come off in the seven hours. It's a long time.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, the sound of his armpit was stuck in that pit.

[Tom Segura]

Isn't that crazy? I mean piggy, look at these titties, eh?

[Jefferson McDonald]

Look at these titties.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He loves this.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I know.

[Steph Tolev]

I do. He really does.

[Tom Segura]

It's crazy that you're not a fan of like a really well known Canadian celebrity.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Stop. Celine Dion. Let's that's this on par. Is that. That was her old husband. He's that same age.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. All right, let's enough upsetting you. Annie, I got something for you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's got a nice salmon fillet, a.

[Tom Segura]

Little bit of leche. I like the light milk.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Here we are.

[Tom Segura]

Gotta get those super soft brioche buns. Can't forget about a super nice delicious cake here. I'm joking. I'm not getting that.

[Tony Johns]

Dude.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That was funny. A couple boxes of those.

[Tom Segura]

Hey, does this bother you? Whatever. Yeah, go ahead.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Those shorts are crazy.

[Tom Segura]

They're crazy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, it's full anus or it's just don't wear pants.

[Steph Tolev]

But this is what gay guys do. They just.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, they do.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Those pants are just like. At this point I'd rather a bare ass.

[Tom Segura]

We're used to seeing women and like this at this point. Women wear stuff like this all the time.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

All the time. I love this. I think more gay men should wear this. Look at that ass up on some yogurt here, team.

[Tom Segura]

This stuff's the bomb.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He's so good.

[Tom Segura]

These little chiobanis here.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Let's see the front. Let's see the front though. The front's small.

[Steph Tolev]

He's wearing a thong. Sugar slices.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

But is it tucked in.

[Tom Segura]

His ass is insane. That's his real ass.

[Steph Tolev]

I think those are implants.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, those might be implants because they're so feminine. They're so round. Look at this, guys. No, you know what? That's the Canadian. Okay. I made it down here. He said I can't made down here. They're maple cookies. I know those products clearly an I'm looking for it.

[Steph Tolev]

Those are definitely implants.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I love.

[Tom Segura]

He does have a thong on, doesn't he?

[Steph Tolev]

Huh?

[Tom Segura]

Does he have a thong on or.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He'S wearing nothing at all?

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, he's got a g string on under.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, buddy, can't forget my peanut butter.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, there it is. And there was the shake.

[Tom Segura]

And then there's Eddie shaking his head.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I bet. I bet this guy doesn't get shadow banned on. On Tick tock the way I do. And. And that's a full. And I even say. I say AES and I'm blocked for like three months.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And that guy's full. A hole is in a crowded grocery store.

[Tom Segura]

It's insane.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's crazy. Yeah. How's that allowed?

[Tom Segura]

You're right. It should stop. He should be banned. I agree. He wants him kicked out.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He's not eating peanut butter if his ass looks like that. Because that's a firm ass.

[Steph Tolev]

See, this is one of those people that can consistently self loathe. Like, so what is it about these types? They can just stay fit all the time? Like they don't fall into like five day long benders.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Because I think once you get to this body, once you're at that, like jacked up, I think you're just like, it's like a new drug.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. You're high.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You're high on your abs. Like you're saying like roided out. You're all.

[Tom Segura]

And plus, it's reaffirmed all day. Right. Because you step out of your house like that and everyone's like, yo, like all day.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

And so you go, if I dial it back, I'm gonna stop getting this.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Positive affirmations of like, wow. Everyone's saying wow to you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, yeah. Asking how you get like that. What's your workout? Oh, yeah. He's getting a lot of attention.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. But then it also has to consume a lot of your energy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Going to the gym. If people go, I. I have an hour. That's it. I hit the hour cap and I'm like, I hate this.

[Tom Segura]

You have to go.

[Steph Tolev]

Of course.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

One hour. That's enough. When people spend, like, your whole life.

[Tom Segura]

One hour is enough, dude.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's. It's simply enough.

[Tom Segura]

It is.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

We've hit the max here. You do your workout, you futz around, you get the hell out of there.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So a couple weeks ago, we were exposed to this story that happened in the news.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay, okay.

[Tom Segura]

Of a woman who was scammed. So I want to show it to you so you have some reference.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

God.

[Steph Tolev]

Bay Area woman is out tens of.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Thousands of dollars after she said she.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Sent money to a scammer who said he was celebrity.

[Steph Tolev]

Keanu Reeves.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

Diane Ringstaff said she was playing Words with Friends when somebody messaged her saying.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He was the Hollywood actor.

[Steph Tolev]

They started chatting over the next two years.

[Tom Segura]

Two years.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

She hasn't slept in two years.

[Tom Segura]

Good morning, my sunshine. Diane, as you said last night, I am sending this recording to let you know that I cherish you and that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I am loyal to you.

[Tom Segura]

You will always be my queen. Have a great day today, Diane. Love you. Kisses from your loving Keanu.

[Steph Tolev]

Keanu said he needed tens of thousands of dollars in bitcoin and cryptocurrency for.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Help with legal troubles.

[Tom Segura]

Sure.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Knowing what I know now and all the technology that's out there and fake voices and everything else, you know, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. The witch is dead over here. I can't believe that woman showed her face after that. More to fight if that was me.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

More she's like. And now that I know, I didn't.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Even think about a voices. What? Was that her? Or is that Keanu's voice? Because it wasn't even close.

[Tom Segura]

What's crazy is that Keanu has started messaging us.

[Steph Tolev]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

I think because he felt bad about what happened to her. So the real guy has been like.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Hey, Tom, so sorry to hear about your struggles with Invisalign. Your beautiful face, warm energy and precious teeth. Precious thoughts and prayers forever.

[Tom Segura]

Wow. Wow. Isn't that crazy?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

The fact that this guy is getting by with an impression that bad?

[Tom Segura]

This is just AI generated.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It has to be.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, but now he's on us.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know what's weird? Money. I am drowning in legal troubles that I cannot elaborate on right now. Okay. Send me money, and I will send you money.

[Tom Segura]

Kind of. It sounds kind of Keanuish.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Not at all. What?

[Steph Tolev]

I'm convinced. I'm going to send him some money.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

People. I've been getting a lot of fake Keanu Reeves on Tik Tok Dming me.

[Tom Segura]

Really?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

But I'm, like, beautiful. Like, it's me, Keanu, and it's like, one follower. I'm like, it. It ain't you, Keanu.

[Tom Segura]

Like, voice or text?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, no, just text. Just text.

[Tom Segura]

It's probably him. Send him money.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They haven't asked for money yet. I find that. So I feel bad.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, of course. But you also realize that, like, I mean, the older generation has no idea about the cable. They're just like, oh, this has to be. Who. How could somebody impersonate.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

How are you not FaceTiming? One time I would need what I. I would FaceTime.

[Tom Segura]

There was a video chat even on.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, a video. How was her video? Wow, mom, you are so funny and talented and creative and nice and beautiful and physically attractive.

[Tom Segura]

Physical.

[Steph Tolev]

Thank you, Keanu.

[Tom Segura]

Wow.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Now I want some kiddo messages.

[Tom Segura]

Show me how those big tits fart.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, no, it's really specific dialing in.

[Steph Tolev]

I mean, I can see how one can get taken away with this.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I mean, he's really. Every day he sends a message to her. Tom, your thick Peruvian is so vascular, it makes me salivate like a dog.

[Tom Segura]

Hungry for a bone. Wow, that's Keanu Reeves.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wow. Same actual Keanu Reeves.

[Tom Segura]

Wow.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Huh?

[Tom Segura]

That is so crazy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That is insane.

[Steph Tolev]

I didn't know he was such a fan of it.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Is Candle Canadian?

[Steph Tolev]

No.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He took acting classes from one of my teachers, and he kept bragging about that. He's, like, my biggest acting. Keanu Reeves. Do you know any about him? We're like, where was he born?

[Tom Segura]

Class, where was Keanu born?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Good morning, my sunshine. Diane, it's me, Keanu. I will love you like you've never been loved before. I will cherish you. I'll make you feel like a woman. A real woman. I love that. A real.

[Tom Segura]

I was born in Lebanon.

[Jefferson McDonald]

What?

[Tom Segura]

Huh?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I had no clue.

[Steph Tolev]

What a life.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Did he live in Canada? Am I making this up?

[Tom Segura]

He's 60 years old.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He's 60 years old and he's buried in legal troubles. Look at him. Absolutely swamped.

[Tom Segura]

The only way out of this bitcoin.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Man, Diane, you know? Ding, ding.

[Steph Tolev]

God, she looks like cigarettes. Like, you can tell.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, yeah, she's just smoking. And she was, like, wiring piano.

[Tom Segura]

Old lady. 160 grand.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Where did she get the money from? How the did she have that money?

[Tom Segura]

Life savings.

[Steph Tolev]

Dude, she could have fixed those bluffs.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, yeah, those blasts. You can tuck that up. Are these bluffs or these blasts? Are you bluffing?

[Tom Segura]

I got bluffs right here. Yeah, you got upper bluffs, too.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, I don't Want. Oh, when it comes down.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

I gotta trim my eyelids. I'm gonna do it in June.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You're trimming the lids.

[Steph Tolev]

Get them trimmed.

[Tom Segura]

Upper Bluffs.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Upper. You're lifting the bluffs.

[Steph Tolev]

Lifting the blast. Just trimming them. Trimming.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Just a light trim. Just. Yeah, just. Just a bang. Trim. Just a bluff Trim. Just a small little. Yeah, put. Put a bowl on there.

[Tom Segura]

I can do it. I told her I'd do it. I could do it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Why are you doing the eyes?

[Steph Tolev]

It's just they're drooping. And my dad did it at my age, too. It's like, okay. Genetics.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay.

[Steph Tolev]

I don't like how it looks like. I don't like.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I would never look at you and.

[Tom Segura]

Say, fat bluffs on this bitch.

[Steph Tolev]

She was like, you should really get your blips.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

How dare.

[Steph Tolev]

I was like, you're right.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It'd be like every makeup person be like, you should get no job. I'd be like, thank you. I've never thought about that before. Internet gets a lot, man.

[Tom Segura]

Crazy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Keanu is horned up.

[Steph Tolev]

He's horned up because this is the. He was saying to her, and he's.

[Tom Segura]

Like, can I get some cryptocurrency? Oh, yeah. You're like 10 of Reeves.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You're like, I'm bricked up right now. I need a little crypto for my hardcock. Jesus Christ.

[Tom Segura]

It really hurts me that you don't.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Believe I'm real, but still, I'm really excited to see those Hustler poses. Oh, my God, Keanu. How much money do you want? Yeah. Wow.

[Tom Segura]

Wow.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Also, why I slept like a homo last night.

[Tom Segura]

Wow.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What does that mean? With a dick in his ass?

[Tom Segura]

No, just, like, really? Well, like, tired.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Because they get more tired.

[Steph Tolev]

He acted for crypto.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wait, why? I'm leaving you.

[Tom Segura]

It's true.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

They get tired.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Homosexual men get more tired than.

[Tom Segura]

You slept like one. It means you slept really deeply. Yeah, because gays sleep deeper.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Where's this fact coming from?

[Tom Segura]

From because of fat. Because they have more anal and they get more tired.

[Steph Tolev]

It's more tiring to do anal than vaginal sex. Everybody knows this.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Really?

[Tom Segura]

If you get pounded, like, for hours in your ass, you're going to want to break hours.

[Steph Tolev]

You're going to need to sleep.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's too long.

[Tom Segura]

I agree.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

We're capital. So at 30 minutes here.

[Tom Segura]

30 minutes?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. That's also too long.

[Tom Segura]

That seems like I'm in and out.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Like a fiddler's elbow. We don't need to be doing it that long.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, here we go.

[Steph Tolev]

Why did he choose cryptocurrency?

[Tom Segura]

Anonymity.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Harder to trace.

[Steph Tolev]

Smart.

[Tom Segura]

There was a great. There's a great job. About one of the biggest, like, cryptocurrency, like, robberies of all time was this, like, this dopey couple and they. They stole. I forget how they stole billions worth.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Billions.

[Tom Segura]

But then you have. You, like, you go, well, how. Like, if. If you try to retrieve it, like, you know, that's when feds can come on you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So then you're trying to, like, funnel it to, like, a offshore. Offshore kind of like flea market of crypto stuff and try to get it out that way. These people got away with it for years, but then. But it was. It was billions. They had billions. Yes. It's a Netflix doc.

[Steph Tolev]

Really good.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Just take a couple hundred bucks.

[Steph Tolev]

Why don't we try. We should prank call, like, Robert Paul Champagne with AI.

[Tom Segura]

He would 100 believe that.

[Steph Tolev]

He would believe it, and he would send him money. Oh, I don't care if he's. Keep calling me. I'm pretty busy right now. But kid who's very much in love with me, guys, because he does think that celebrities are into him.

[Tom Segura]

I know.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Who's this guy? I don't know anybody.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, I'll show you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He's up here.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, there he is.

[Steph Tolev]

Robert Paul. We can easily do an AI Keanu.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Call with the answer all the time.

[Steph Tolev]

This guy, he's like five different black.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Guys who love to.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Good. If you're a hot black guy and you want to.me at 23.95. If you want to move in, you.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Can move in, but you gotta.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

The.

[Jefferson McDonald]

I need. I need to be a lot.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Looks like three of my uncles. Jesus Christ.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

God damn it. That's upsetting as hell.

[Jefferson McDonald]

So you know.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know how to do, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jefferson McDonald]

I'm gonna come.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm gonna come now. I'm coming. Oh, God.

[Jefferson McDonald]

What is this?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Aunt, what is this on?

[Tom Segura]

It's Hulu.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I don't understand.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Why is he still going? Oh, my God. That's not real. This is as long as your intro. That's not real.

[Tom Segura]

Do you know where this really was on? It was on YouTube. No. Yeah, he got kicked off.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No kidding. Good Christ.

[Tom Segura]

Yes.

[Steph Tolev]

This is why we don't let our kids on YouTube.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, your kids should be on any form of the Internet. Lock them away.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, that was such a long come.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Right? If a man did it on top of me, I'd call the police.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Officer comes up, the total pig.

[Tom Segura]

Officer, come down.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, he's. What's he doing?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Filthy. That's right. Offers to come jump.

[Jefferson McDonald]

We'll take it like a man. I will bend down and you could bang me as you. As you can.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, get it straight, buddy. Don't be slurring. Yeah, sending that message out there.

[Tom Segura]

Does this also make you think that, like, after what we've shown you, that just men are just generally more deviant pigs? Right. Like we're.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I mean, I think I didn't come here thinking that it wasn't. Yeah, I. I do believe this. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

We reaffirmed it, though.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I. Well, you. You refer me to this a dark part of the Internet that I like to avoid.

[Tom Segura]

Damn it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What? I like to just. I. I'm wholesome. I mean, I only watch Law and Order. Svu. That's as far as I go. And then I keep it.

[Steph Tolev]

But you're very liberated gal.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I am.

[Steph Tolev]

Did you spend time with boys growing up? Like, where. How did you get to be so cool?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So cool.

[Steph Tolev]

What I mean by that is a lot of times women get trapped in, like, the societal stuff of, like, you can't laugh at farts. You can't be gross, you can't be whatever. How did you get out of the. The Matrix?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I think it's my. My family. My grandma was always girls. Her quote. She kept saying she's like, go to the bathroom when you can sit down with. You can let the air blow free wherever you be. She always was farting. She's fart at church ago. Whatever. I had to get it out. Like. Like she didn't give a. Yeah. And then my mom was like that and my aunt. And then like, my Bulgarian family was gross.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So it was never. No. There was no classy women in my life. I wasn't like, looking up to some, like, hoity toity. Like, we're all. I remember my first, like, the first things my parents ever did fart in front of me, like, non stop. Like, me and my dad bonded one summer and my sister over blue angels at the cottage. Do you know how to do blue angel when you, like, bend. How have you not had this on here yet? You bend over and you light a match and your fart, it's like a fireball.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, yeah. So we. Turns out we're all very good at doing dop nose. Thank you, daddy, for passing that. That down. So, yeah, me and my sister are all the three of us.

[Tom Segura]

You and your boo boo. Do you guys fart in front of each other?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. And he hates it.

[Tom Segura]

He hates it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, he gets so mad and I do it.

[Steph Tolev]

No, but you know why, Steph? Because he's a real whitey.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I know he's an Aryan guy, but he farts. But he's born again Christian.

[Steph Tolev]

Okay? There he goes. Ashamed about.

[Jefferson McDonald]

He's.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, he's not ashamed. He farts. He just thinks it's gross when I do it. I'm like, yeah, it is disgusting. Testing. And they always rake. It's not good. I mean, healthy. When you eat healthy, it's like a kale salad's coming to my ass.

[Tom Segura]

Of course, this guy, okay. We discovered him years ago.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay, Okay.

[Jefferson McDonald]

I just want to say, deadass, the reason why I'm wearing this yellow weird thing is my ass is gonna be doing community service for the state of Utah. I got a deep you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Y, baby. Okay, okay. This. I like.

[Tom Segura]

This guy. It's fun.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

This guy. I like.

[Tom Segura]

This guy's fun. So. And we've been. He's been.

[Steph Tolev]

Babe. He's been in our lives for, like, a decade. Started with these videos, and then our relationship with them has grown over the last decade, and now we're in a life, like.

[Tom Segura]

So now we. We had him come down. We had him do one of those blind date dating things that we hosted, okay, with, like, 50 eligible girls. And he got to pick, you know, like. Like, cross some out and go on a date with one. And then he went back to where he lives in upstate New York. He had some legal trouble with his landlord. He got in some fights. He ended up in jail.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

God.

[Tom Segura]

He expressed to us that he wants to get into adult entertainment. And so we set up a shoot for him. Him and Alexis Fox, who's like a really.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, I know.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she was like, yeah, I'll do a scene with you. And he's, like, over the moon. But he's been in and out of jail a lot lately.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

So anyways, he got out, and now he's talking about how it's kind of better to be in, like, it's because he got kicked out of his place anyway, so there's a lot of drama going on with him right now.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

And we've been trying to get a hold of him, and it's been tough the last couple days. So I think we can get a hold of him. Let's see. Is he gonna answer?

[Steph Tolev]

They never answer their phones on the first try.

[Tom Segura]

Cool. Guys never do.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, if I think it's the police.

[Tom Segura]

There you go. Every single time. Every time. They never.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, My God. I thought that was his answer machine. I was like, please say it's a guitar riff. I would die. This guy should be in a band if that's what he's playing at the end of his.

[Tom Segura]

Cool. Just say, answer your phone.

[Steph Tolev]

Text him, like, answer your phone.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I. I met Alexis. I hosted the Avian Awards.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah, she's fantastic.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, she's love.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

She's. They were all great.

[Tom Segura]

She's done bits with us.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, she's doing a bit with me in two weeks actually. She's great. Yeah. She's so funny and fun and great tits. Speaking of tits, big milk, big set of juggies up there. Natural. Yeah. Bos.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, she's great.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I bring yabos back.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

My parents called them lullabinis and that wasn't real.

[Steph Tolev]

I gotta take a pitch. Sorry, guys.

[Tom Segura]

You gotta take a pish. Yeah, okay, go ahead.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wow. Middle of the podcast, she's really going.

[Tom Segura]

She's going to wax her ass is what she's doing.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

She's going to pull her hemorrhoid back in. Yeah, she doing.

[Tom Segura]

Push it back in.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Poppy. Poppy.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, my God.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So I can't believe you meet these people in person.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I know.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Do they love it?

[Tom Segura]

Some of them are like, you know.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Like, what the hell?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Like, some of them are just like, oh, cool. Like, it's fun. And some of them are more apprehensive. You get. You get every range of things. Yeah, but because you think you're making.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Fun of them or something.

[Tom Segura]

No, they don't have that much self awareness, you know? Fancy chef. Have you seen him online?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I haven't seen any of these people. All I see is amputees and dog videos. I got in a weird burn victim thing recently. I know what's going on.

[Tom Segura]

Really bad.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, A lot of burnt people and a lot of golden retrievers. There's very strange.

[Tom Segura]

Really?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

My algorithm is insane.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No kidding.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Watching this, I just had the moment, though. Have you ever had your, like, your two algorithms, like, crossover perfectly? There's a video of a Dalmatian carrying a pocket. Excuse me. It's my tick tock alarm. Kill me. I have to post a tick tock. I'm actually embarrassing.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, really?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's pathetic. No, it's. Ignore me.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm so insane. My social media, I'm like, my Find this video, it's literally a. It's a Dalmatian carrying a pocket. And the. The dog sitter's like, glad us put that down. And I'm like, Finally, my algorithm that makes sense.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

A dog and a pocket. That's perfect.

[Tom Segura]

I get a lot of workplace accidents, you know, like. Like a car falling on somebody from.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

A lift and they die sometimes.

[Tom Segura]

Fancy Chef. Is this guy beautiful and nice?

[Tony Johns]

Look.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Look at that chicken.

[Tom Segura]

Look how I got that season.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Look, I.

[Tom Segura]

Look.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Put my thing in there to get.

[Tom Segura]

It all in there.

[Steph Tolev]

Looks good, right?

[Tony Johns]

You bite that, you get a bite.

[Tom Segura]

Look at the.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Fancy.

[Tom Segura]

Be fancy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

This is why I don't like going to potlucks. I don't trust anyone.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So we flew him down to cook for us. Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And you ate it.

[Tom Segura]

I took a bite.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You had Seminole poisoning. He fingered your chicken and then you ate it.

[Steph Tolev]

Wait, but you didn't like that he seasoned every morsel. I mean, he's.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. What do you not like about it?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I don't like the idea of that guy's dirt, corners, and his fingernails getting wedged into that chicken.

[Steph Tolev]

He's not dirty.

[Tom Segura]

Impeccably clean.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You looked at each finger. You cleaned it out with your own teeth. He looked at every. Oh, that grosses you out. Here it is. Look at this. This is a perfect video.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Let's see it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What is this? A dog found a pocket. Ew. It's so funny.

[Steph Tolev]

I've never seen a pocket pussy. Did you know that? I don't know what you're talking about.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Out.

[Tom Segura]

Good.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Why would you.

[Steph Tolev]

I can't believe there's one depraved thing. I don't know. Can you look it up for me?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. You know what? That is like a fleshlight.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. That's a flashlight.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. But it's out of the sheath. It's, like, loose when they take it out.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, I almost threw up. I felt that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, it's gross.

[Tom Segura]

I have these dolls at the house that are just like torsos, you know?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, and you. Them.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I've seen those. So. They're weird.

[Steph Tolev]

Let me see those.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, they're bizarre.

[Tom Segura]

He answered.

[Steph Tolev]

Okay, so what's going on?

[Tom Segura]

So, what's up?

[Steph Tolev]

Tony?

[Tom Segura]

Tony.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Yes. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Whoa.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Oh, man. What's going on, players?

[Tom Segura]

Hey, what's up, man? What are you up to, dude?

[Jefferson McDonald]

Oh, dude. Yo, dude. Tom.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Holy. Dude, no, no. Hear me out, brother.

[Tom Segura]

Okay?

[Jefferson McDonald]

Bigger city. Way more opportunity.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Dude.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Some of these videos I'm doing are just out of side.

[Tom Segura]

Wait, what city are you in? Where are you?

[Jefferson McDonald]

Yes, sir. Yo, dude.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, man.

[Jefferson McDonald]

It's out of sight. This is.

[Steph Tolev]

Where are you?

[Jefferson McDonald]

Candy store, where are you?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Where are you?

[Jefferson McDonald]

Yeah, yeah. So I am Downtown Syracuse, New York.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Yo, Tom. Dude, I'm loving this down here, boys. And you know, guys like, yo, this is literally like Mexico, like, for real. There ain't no laws.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, there's no laws in Syracuse. Everybody knows that. What's. What's.

[Steph Tolev]

Dude.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Yo, this is wild, brother.

[Tom Segura]

What kind of videos have you been doing?

[Jefferson McDonald]

Oh, dude, we're talking. I mean, yo, it's like I turn hate into money money. You know what I'm saying? Yo, Tom. So check it out. Okay, Dude, I. I've been going to this really, really fancy, you know, bar slash restaurant, dude, the past couple days, because I'm down here, you know, talking to these rich chicks, you know, I'm loving these rich ladies, brother. For real.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jefferson McDonald]

You know that. Because. Yo, Tom, like, I need. I need some bread. I need some coins. So, dude, I've been hitting on these rich chicks, dude. They've been loving me, man. I got my durag back. I got my hater shades, dude. I'm loving it down here.

[Tom Segura]

Well, wait a minute. Let me back up, because I know. I know a little while ago, you know, I know you were locked up and you got out and everybody celebrated when you got out. It was a super exciting thing. They're like, oh, Tony's free. This is awesome. But then I saw that you had to move into, like, a hotel. Are you. Do you have housing right now?

[Jefferson McDonald]

So in two days, I. I will be homeless again. I. I don't. I've been relying on my fans, you know, I love my fans. All the donations just to pay for these hotels, they are very, very expensive, Tom. Yeah, dude, you. You guys are even helping, which I love. You know, that's why I love you guys. But, yo, there, I mean, it's like 400 a week, man. And it's. And I'm at the red roof now, dude. It's like 70, 80 bucks a night.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a. It's a lot. And then are you still. You are doing video? Are you doing only fans still?

[Jefferson McDonald]

Yes, sir.

[Tom Segura]

Yep.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Yep. So it's kind of sad. My. My fan base is only at 21 right now, but I'm still. I'm still doing good on the only fans. You know that. That's just, you know, steady income.

[Tom Segura]

Is it mostly like, solo content or Customs or what?

[Jefferson McDonald]

100. All solos, man. All solos. Dude, I'm not. I'm not out here, you know, like, banging chicks, you know, I'm out here trying to. Trying to hustle, you know?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Trying to get my only Fans up and running my comedy. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm loving all this, man. I'm taking all this in.

[Tom Segura]

Well, yeah, you're a worker. Are you doing 100? Are you doing. Are you doing a worker?

[Jefferson McDonald]

Yes, sir.

[Tom Segura]

Are you doing stand up?

[Jefferson McDonald]

No. So at best master, in a couple months. I've never done a stand up show before, Tom. So Ed Bass, master, is gonna get me a ticket down to PA or either PA Or Rochester, New York, and he's gonna have me do it. Do it skit for, you know, five, ten minute skit. No, I'm just getting some content right now, man. That's great, though. Tom. Yo, Tom, thanks for them tickets, bro, to your show. Holy.

[Tom Segura]

My pleasure, My pleasure, man. I'm glad. I'm glad you got to come out, Tom.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Dude, I was downstairs on the, you know, you know those three bars, the clubs Bars, huh?

[Tom Segura]

Dude.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Yo, Tom. Dude, like, I showed up there and like, the lady was like, oh, you're Tony John's. Like, like the, The. The club promoter, dude. She was like, oh, yo, you're Tony John's. I said, yeah, yeah. And she was like, you're, you know, you're. You're on the, you know, yma show. I said, yeah, dude. She. She gave me everything, dude. Like, I could. I could go to any club. Like, all inclusive, dog. Like, oh, she said, whatever you need. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah, Tony.

[Steph Tolev]

Can I ask you something, though? What's up with your sketch with Alexis Fox? Any progress?

[Jefferson McDonald]

Yeah, I'm ready whenever she's ready.

[Tom Segura]

For real?

[Jefferson McDonald]

I need to be honest with you. I need money. Whenever she's ready, I'm ready. There's no rush. But whenever she's ready, tell her to hit me up because I'm game. Let's go.

[Steph Tolev]

Can you leave New York?

[Jefferson McDonald]

Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

We were okay.

[Jefferson McDonald]

So I just have to do anger management and sex therapy, but other than that, I'm golden. I can. I can travel down to Vegas. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Did the. The courts made you take anger management?

[Jefferson McDonald]

Yep. Yep. So that was my. My way out of. Of the jailhouse. You know, the Cougar County.

[Tom Segura]

Cougar county, man. Sea blocks.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Yo, dude, was the. Let me. It was the anger management counseling and sex therapy counseling. I do not have to take any medication because I don't need it. My therapist didn't diagnose me. Yep.

[Steph Tolev]

What did they diagnose you?

[Jefferson McDonald]

Yeah. So what was that?

[Steph Tolev]

What is your diagnosis?

[Jefferson McDonald]

Yeah, so it's like I've been saying the whole time. It's anxiety.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah.

[Jefferson McDonald]

It's actually severe anxiety. I could be on benefits for my anxiety. It's PTSD from my past to always being locked up and in. In facilities, and then it's also anger, so it's bipolar. I'm always up and down, and then it's adhd, so I have a hard time sitting still. I cannot sit still.

[Tom Segura]

I wonder if you could get in on this hustler shoot. I know. Coming up. What's the.

[Jefferson McDonald]

You are speaking my language.

[Tom Segura]

Let me try. I'll see what I can do. I'm gonna make some calls. So. So we'll. So what's. What's next for you? Because, baby, come on. Yeah. Are you. Are you gonna.

[Jefferson McDonald]

I'm ready. Put me in, coach, please.

[Steph Tolev]

Wait, you're in New York right now, right? Like, yeah, Syracuse.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Yeah, I'm in Syracuse. Walking around, you know, trying to talk to these rich, rich ladies here. Trying to. Trying to get me some. Some cash going, you know?

[Tom Segura]

Hell, yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

Good.

[Tom Segura]

Hell, yeah. Do you put on a show? What do you do? Do you stroke it for them? What do you. How do you get them to donate?

[Jefferson McDonald]

No, no, to be honest. Yo, to be honest with you, Tom, I'm, you know, I'm a real ballsy dude. You know, I like having fun. Yeah, dude, I'll just go straight up to the girl, and I'll say, hey, you know, can I, you know, buy you a drink? And. And I'll go from there. But a lot of the times, dude, I'll just kind of sit back in my chair, and I'll just kind of be looking at me. I'll be looking at them, you know, I just kind of sit back and to be honest, what you do, that kind of creepy, bro. Just kind of sit back and, you know, just kind of put on a little show for him, you know, Wink at them, blowing some kisses.

[Steph Tolev]

I love that.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Hey. Yes, sir. I love ladies, man, you know?

[Steph Tolev]

Tony, what is sex therapy?

[Jefferson McDonald]

So that. That's something my counselor did recommend because, yeah, she was like, yo, dude, like, you got an issue with. With sex here, man?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. What?

[Jefferson McDonald]

Like, I.

[Tom Segura]

They're all sexed up. Yep.

[Steph Tolev]

Do you believe that? Do you think you have a thing with sex?

[Jefferson McDonald]

Huh?

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah. Do you think that way, too?

[Jefferson McDonald]

Oh, yeah. 100. I've known it since. For a long time.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Like, I. I love. I just. I love pleasure in myself. Like, I like the feeling, you know, like, Christina. Like, it may sound sexy to a lot of women, but, like, I like pleasure in a woman. Like, making her, like, you know, like, feel good, like come and. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it turns me down. Yeah, it turns me on, so nice. Turns me on too, when a girl's turned on, you know?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, God, I love turning women on.

[Jefferson McDonald]

I love it, man. Seriously eating, you know, Like, I love it all, man. Like, I'm seriously, like, I love women. It's crazy. I'm a ladies man.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, you're a ladies man. I know. We're built that way. We like to lick box and put fingers in them and make him happy.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Oh, dude, I'm crazy about pleasure and waiting. Yeah, I love it.

[Steph Tolev]

Do you like. You like.

[Jefferson McDonald]

How you been, though, Christina?

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, I'm good. Thanks for asking, Tony. I. I appreciate that. You know, we always keep up with you through Cougar. We're. We're updated on you, and I'm glad that you got out of jail, even though I heard you had a pretty decent time there.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

Tell me about jail.

[Jefferson McDonald]

A lot of. A lot of the guards. I mean, the.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

The.

[Jefferson McDonald]

The.

[Tom Segura]

The.

[Jefferson McDonald]

The guard. The lady guards were amazing, but the male guards were kind of iffy. Yeah, but at the end of the day, I mean, dude, yo, the lady guards, they're. They're smoking. I mean, they could hot.

[Steph Tolev]

Did you. Did you.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I love a lady in uniform. Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

Tony, did you hook up?

[Jefferson McDonald]

Put me in bracelets, you know? Put me in the bracelet, sweetie.

[Steph Tolev]

Did you hook up with a lady guard?

[Jefferson McDonald]

Oh, I wish. No, I wish. That'd be sexy as hell.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Shout out to Cougar County.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Fuck no. I wish.

[Tom Segura]

Department of correction.

[Jefferson McDonald]

I was actually, like, trying. Yo, Tom, do. Christina. I was, like, trying to hook up with one for real. Sorry, I'm kind of excited. I'm talking to you guys.

[Steph Tolev]

We're excited.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, we're excited.

[Steph Tolev]

Wait, what? How did you try to hook up with her? Like, what. How did you tell her you like her?

[Jefferson McDonald]

To be honest, I. It's kind of crazy what I did. She ended up doing her rounds and she was older. You know, I like my cougars and my mills.

[Tom Segura]

Hell yeah.

[Jefferson McDonald]

She was a blonde. Yeah, she was a blonde cougar. And I just. You know, I noticed she was doing arounds, and this is actually really illegal, what I'm going to say. I ended up just putting down my. My gel pants and I just started stroking it and she, like, stopped looked in my window and she. Oh, I'll be for real. She, like, licked her lips.

[Tom Segura]

I'm like, oh, yeah, that's hot.

[Jefferson McDonald]

I was just. Boy, it was hot as it's like, oh, yeah, bro. Like, licking her lips. Because, dog, what I did is, like, crazy as.

[Tom Segura]

But that's so hard.

[Jefferson McDonald]

So. Yeah, dude, I was so horny and just. I just needed to bust a load.

[Tom Segura]

I found that a lot of chicks like to watch. Watch us stroke it. I've noticed that. Just, like, in my experience.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

A lot of times I'll be somewhere and I'll just start, you know, kind of tugging, and I notice that every woman that looks at me gets kind of, like, worked up. Hell, yeah. By the way, food. Tony, I don't know if you. I don't know if you have Netflix, but June 24th, my friend Steph Tollev has a new special coming out called Filth Queen. It's so funny, and she's dirty and hilarious. I think you got to check it out when it comes out. Okay.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Yeah, yeah, no, I'd love to, bro.

[Tom Segura]

That sounds Steph Tolev. Okay, I want you to look her up.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Yes, sir.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. Nice.

[Steph Tolev]

All right, well, take care of yourself, Tony.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Don't go to jail.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Stay out of jail.

[Jefferson McDonald]

No, no, I'm trying my hardest not to go to jail.

[Steph Tolev]

Okay. And get to Las Vegas. We got to get you with.

[Tom Segura]

We got to get you with Alexis.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Yes, yes, please. I'm ready whenever you guys are. For real. Thanks.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Thanks for everything.

[Tom Segura]

Absolutely, bro. We'll talk to you soon.

[Steph Tolev]

Safe, buddy.

[Jefferson McDonald]

I love you guys.

[Tom Segura]

We love you, too.

[Steph Tolev]

Take care. Bye.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Bye.

[Steph Tolev]

Wait, so he can leave the state of New York? This is huge.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Jefferson's mom is a cougar, and she's a babe, and she lives in Syracuse. And I'm like. That whole conversation, I was like, I gotta get her on the phone. I'm like, I'm about to call her the second we're done this and make sure she never talks. This man, I'm terrified right now.

[Tom Segura]

He's so sweet.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, no, she. Sweetheart, that man is not going near her. She's single, and she is very attractive, and I swear to God, I am.

[Jefferson McDonald]

I'm.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm so upset right now.

[Steph Tolev]

I have to tell you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm literally upset.

[Steph Tolev]

I have to tell you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Look at her. He's gonna talk to her. I know he is.

[Steph Tolev]

He's a sweet.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Damn it.

[Steph Tolev]

He's harmless.

[Tom Segura]

He's such a sweet guy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He's harmless. He's been in and out of jail.

[Steph Tolev]

He's so.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Several times. For sex addict stuff. What. What are these? What has he done? He's harmless compared to the other guys.

[Steph Tolev]

We'Ve showcased on the show. He's Sweet.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know, pig man. You know what?

[Steph Tolev]

You just need to open your heart.

[Tom Segura]

Heart.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's my problem.

[Steph Tolev]

In your heart.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm closed in. You're too close. I'm closed up.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, that's it.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Oh, yeah. One more thing for all you young bucks going out to the club tonight. One last thing. What you got to look out for? And this is what, you know, my. One of my good buddies, you know, was telling me about not. And I've tried it numerous times and it really works. Look out for body language.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Good tip. Good tip. Absolutely.

[Steph Tolev]

Key anxiety, ADHD and bipolar.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's a lot of stuff.

[Steph Tolev]

And sex addiction.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Stroking. Addiction. He likes to really stroke that.

[Tom Segura]

Oh my God. That female guard was like it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That did not happen, I swear to God.

[Steph Tolev]

Can I ask you guys something for else? Do you think. Do people in the real world lick their lips when they're in desire? Like. Or is that just a porn?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I think it's an old man thing. It's an old creepy Armenian music and pick up your dog. Yeah, it's an old man thing. I think. I think our generation stopped doing it.

[Tom Segura]

But women do like it though.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, women love that.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Nothing like walking up to.

[Tom Segura]

I've gone up to women just going.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And they're always like, oh, oh, I'm wet, I'm soaked.

[Steph Tolev]

Do it again. Show me.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, if you hear the sound of it too. Is very vile. It's like dry, but also wet. Very, very strange.

[Tom Segura]

I stopped doing it because I don't want them to get too worked up.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's the problem.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, well, I'm just stroking your hog in public.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh yeah, you're stroking. Doing that at the same time. That's the combo. Yeah, that's the combo. You gotta do that. Really. Women will just start taking off. Also hilarious. You think women take off their shirts like a man from the back? Yeah. That's why I get ready to my boyfriend, get over here. Take off my jersey. Stuck.

[Tom Segura]

How does the girl take it off from the bottom?

[Steph Tolev]

Crisscross.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay. Yeah. I go do that to my boyfriend today and see if he says. He says anything so manly. Hold on a second.

[Steph Tolev]

Like this instead of crisscross.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know, crisscross makes more sense.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Cuz Mander's like, get this off me. Women are like, I gotta pull it off.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Ripping. Just ripping the neck over.

[Steph Tolev]

You know what's interesting is that what I think excites women sexually is the exact opposite of what men think it does. Like, I like to see men doing like I was Watching Tom eat a curry at lunch, and that was just sweet. Like, you're just being a normal person, just eating something and not being anything. And I was like, oh, he's so adorable. He's so attractive. And it's never probably when you're trying to be attractive that you find men attractive, because when they try to be sexy, it's the unsexiest thing. Like, I hate male dancers. I hate, like, male posers, like, hot posings.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

Very well today.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, no. Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

But, like, when they try to be sexy, like 90s R B bands that you like, like Jodeci and stuff, Like, I hate that stuff.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

When they're, like, posing, looking. Yeah. When, like, Jefferson plays piano, that turns me on.

[Steph Tolev]

Right.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He's, like, playing.

[Tom Segura]

What about men doing manly.

[Steph Tolev]

Like, chopping wood?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Like that kind of thing.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah. Because that's competency. That's like, oh, you know how to do something, right. Yeah. When. When people are doing something they're good at, that's always attractive.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes, that's. That's attractive.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah. Like, you're eating. You're eating.

[Tom Segura]

Eating curry.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You're really. Hey, that's your best skill.

[Tom Segura]

That is kind of eating curry.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I can't do that much, so eating curry for me is up there.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I'm not that capable.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You can't saw, you can't cut, but you can eat curry real good. Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Do you want to show her your stuff?

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, I'm so excited.

[Tom Segura]

Are you ready for TikTok for the marginalized Community?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

I feel like we've shown you a real wide variety of stuff today.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I feel sick.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I think I have a cold now from watching that one video. I feel actually sick.

[Tom Segura]

That's the YMH experience. That's exactly what you're supposed to feel.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I haven't gagged like that publicly in a very long time. Yeah. Like, it was real.

[Steph Tolev]

You did. Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Welcome back.

[Steph Tolev]

Welcome back. Being a woman is a really violent experience. We are walking secrets.

[Tom Segura]

Shh.

[Steph Tolev]

Don't. Like, we want to see you. We don't want to hear you. Don't tell us how you feel. Makes us uncomfortable. We're, like, harboring a lot of violence all of the time. Even in the imagery that we consume. It's like, even if you haven't bounced.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Off of somebody who has violated you.

[Steph Tolev]

In a specific way, we are incredibly violated. Constantly having a female body is an overtly political act.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

If you can get out of bed.

[Steph Tolev]

In the morning and not hate Yourself.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It is.

[Steph Tolev]

It's hard.

[Tom Segura]

That's.

[Steph Tolev]

Hold on. Steph, do you. How do you feel about that?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I feel like there was parts of it where I. I was like, okay, and then I was, like, getting out of bed in the morning. What the hell?

[Steph Tolev]

She takes a little too far.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

She takes it way too far.

[Steph Tolev]

Well, I'm just curious to see, because I was like, okay, maybe this isn't my generation. Clearly, I don't feel this violated. But, like, she's an actress. She's a lesbian actress. Right now she's with a lady. So maybe they're, like, all against this patriarchy stuff right now. Like, they're amping each other up.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay.

[Steph Tolev]

And she is. You know, she makes her living being objectified, and maybe she does what she feels.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes.

[Steph Tolev]

But as a whole, like, I don't know that I feel that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, maybe she's getting, like, all the time hounded online and stuff. Like, maybe she's getting, like, right now it's at a peak where she's, like, every morning getting, like, threats and, like, weird shit's been popping off. But I'm like, yeah, the only thing I'm worried someone will do to me is literally break my nose in public. So I get no shop. That's. That's how I want to get violated. The men on the Internet hate my nose, but it. That's like, I don't feel like that. Violated all the time. No. Also, like, you know, I'm usually wearing a oversized Harley Davidson T shirt, and this is.

[Tom Segura]

It's. It's so jumpsuit. It reads as, like, so intensely anti. Men is the way, like, the. You know, like, we. I. I don't want to hear you. I don't want you to tell us anything. This is. It's a violent existence. It's like, I don't know what. I mean, what you've been going through, but it feels like you're.

[Steph Tolev]

I think she's traumatized.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, I think something's clearly happened, and especially if she's in acting. I'm sure those disgusting directions. Horrible. Did something to her recently where it's.

[Steph Tolev]

Like, God, I mean, arguably, when I started my career, nobody wanted to hear women talk, and now it's totally different. I feel like it's a little better, isn't it?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's not totally. Maybe they want a little better.

[Steph Tolev]

They tolerate me talking.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Talking. Now they tolerate some. Some talking a little more, but it's still not as.

[Steph Tolev]

That sounds great.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Nobody really wants to hear chicks talk.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's why I sound like this to try to disguise my voice so no one knows who I am.

[Tom Segura]

Dude, are you gonna do a Hustler shoot with Tony though? If he shows up to this, if.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Tony comes anywhere near a 500 foot radius, the FBI will be involved. I. I don't. I don't know what to tell you right now. The fact you said my name. If I. Oh, my phone. And that man followed me, I'm blocking him.

[Tom Segura]

It's.

[Steph Tolev]

You know, what's the problem is Steph, you and I don't look like her. That's why.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I mean that could be.

[Steph Tolev]

I was like, maybe she's just much cuter than us.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. I'm not getting hit on a lot. I'm gonna lie to you. That's why when my boyfriend hit on me after the show, I was like, marry me. No one's ever hit me before. Yeah. So it's like I. I really. I lock it for her.

[Tom Segura]

She normally has dark hair, right?

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah. She's so cute.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. But something definitely just happens. Happener.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Good girl.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, this story. So this says for people listening. Kim Kardashian is setting a whole new standard in childclare. Splashing millions on nannies. She runs a military style operation with a dedicated team of nannies each assigned to one of her four kids and working around the clock. They basically take daytime nighttime shifts. 12 hour shifts at 6am so huh. They get one day off a week and are expected to travel. Travel with their allocated child including when the kids visit dad. Yeah. Includes a chief of staff and head nanny overseeing a team that manages meals, laundry, security, blah, blah.

[Tom Segura]

This is so pretty intense.

[Steph Tolev]

Crazy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Don't have kids if that. That's insane.

[Steph Tolev]

So I'll tell you. So you know, we lived adjacent to this family at some point like very briefly. And I had heard this story of like they've got nannies on nannies on nannies like a room or the Chinese sleep and they take 12 hour shifts sleeping. And like it's crazy but I guess this is what like and then that.

[Tom Segura]

Celebrities that was our do is our oldest first playdate was Saint. Was with Saint. Oh really West. And. And a nanny.

[Steph Tolev]

And a nanny.

[Tom Segura]

So I had. I had Ellis, our son and then there's this Filipino lady just hanging out at the playground.

[Steph Tolev]

It was Jamaican nanny they like or Bahamian. Was this a Bahamian one?

[Tom Segura]

No, this. This one was. Because there was a team. Yeah but this one was like a Filipino.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

This is crazy. I understand you're busy, you're touring. I must. I'm not. I Am shaming her. But this. Because this is. That's insane. You're not raising your kids at this point.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

When you. When you not. Where do you run your children? That's insane.

[Steph Tolev]

Never. And yeah, So I remember our son was on the same playground as Saint. And it was a security guard. It was the nanny. And I was like this. We got to get out of this community.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

We were living in the same community.

[Steph Tolev]

We got to get out of here. But. But, yeah, like, why have the kids if you're not even gonna.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That many nannies on and off, 12 hour shifts.

[Steph Tolev]

Here's the thing. Here's the deal, man. I get it. She's got to make the living. But, like, why have four kids with a completely insane person? I think that's also make a living.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

She's loaded. What more. What are you doing? How much more are we making here? You've got enough. Stop making.

[Steph Tolev]

Stop. I agree.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Raise your kids. Stop making.

[Steph Tolev]

I know.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So you're just getting started. So it's your first Netflix special. Come at me. You're not gonna watch it anyways. But that's psychotic.

[Steph Tolev]

You can't say that now.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I just did.

[Steph Tolev]

You have to be like, oh, she's a feminist icon because she has a stable of people raising her kids. It's bananas anyway. That's usually marginalized. Psychos. This got put into the.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

Intelligent file. Sorry. It's fun. So many good songs. And I've become that mom where I'm like, sitting around with friends and I start singing like Tyrannosaurus.

[Tom Segura]

That's the chorus.

[Steph Tolev]

Tyrannosaurus.

[Tom Segura]

I was like, what am I singing?

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, my gosh. I'm singing Storybox. I'm singing Storybox. I am not singing Beyonce in that.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Who's that?

[Steph Tolev]

Meghan Markle. She's pretending to be that good mom here.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Meghan Markle. That's the Married to the prince. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I like when she does the one with her friend who's like.

[Steph Tolev]

Like, oh, my God, I can't stop watching clips from that one. There's a woman that she's interviewing with who's just like, yeah, yeah. And it's just. It's the most puke worthy interview. And Meghan Markle will say things like, I try to tell my children. It's that you can't do something yet. The power of yet. Like, they're just both jacking each other so hard. It's so.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

But it's.

[Steph Tolev]

It's so.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I should have had my dad go raise these kids. Smack them around a little bit. Smart up. Idiot. Jesus Christ.

[Steph Tolev]

That's so.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's insane. But that's why we're all funny. Because our parents didn't do this to us. Yeah. What the hell is this?

[Steph Tolev]

It's too much.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

1200 nannies talking to me like that. I. That baby voice. My parents never debate voice even it was a baby I saw.

[Steph Tolev]

Neither do we.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So. Baby voice. Because.

[Steph Tolev]

Why do you have to treat them like idiots? They're not idiots. They're just tiny people learning people. You don't have to treat them. Yeah, but. Yeah. Anyway. What are you looking for?

[Tom Segura]

I was looking for that clip.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tony Johns]

Yeah.

[Jefferson McDonald]

I promise to hand in.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

To hold through thickens or thin forever. I do.

[Steph Tolev]

There's your proposal and stuff.

[Tony Johns]

And you're the lucky one gets to be with me.

[Tom Segura]

How do you like that? How do you like that?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

How do you like that? I wish I had I'd an ounce of that man's confidence. One little whisper. The. The amount of chin hair he's got of confidence.

[Steph Tolev]

I feel like there's dried barbecue sauce.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. What is that? I thought there was like a skin flake situation going there.

[Tom Segura]

It actually probably is dried sauce.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's definitely dried sauce. Yeah. It says it's from the pig guy.

[Tom Segura]

You're hardened on there. You're lucky to be with me. That's what he said. Wow. This is the lady. Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

I've watched this a million, by the way. I just have to say. I have to say enjoy them. I forgot to have fun.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You're right. How many views does this have?

[Steph Tolev]

Lives are divinely ordered. Getting to know you for who you truly are.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Unreal.

[Steph Tolev]

So why did you say yes to doing this show? Because it's you is like. I want people to see that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know what I mean?

[Steph Tolev]

I'm gonna get emotional if I talk about it. It's a gift to celebrate, my friend. If you're listening or watching, connect with the tree.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

How many followers does that have? I'm actually pissed.

[Steph Tolev]

This and that's right here. And listen. I don't know who this is, but you're the same. You're the same.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Can you. Who talks like this?

[Tom Segura]

They just reaffirm everything.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, woman. I've never met someone who actually speaks like that in my life.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, I have. Wait until you get to the mom world.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So sad. Oh, no.

[Tom Segura]

What's her name?

[Steph Tolev]

I don't even know her name.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Jamie. Jamie something.

[Tom Segura]

There you go.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

612,000 followers.

[Tom Segura]

Jamie Lee.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Who are these followers? This is crazy.

[Steph Tolev]

You know what it is.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

This is me. Hate watching. This can't be people.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, I like. I actually like Maria Shriver. She was nice to me one time when I bombed at some journalism conference. She was very nice to me. She was, like, politely smiling. It was horrible.

[Tom Segura]

I don't like her brother or her nephew.

[Steph Tolev]

Really.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

Dang.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

The Jamie.

[Steph Tolev]

I choose me with Jenny.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

God.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. He's a piece of.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I should go under. I should ask to do a podcast, actually. I'm asking PR people to get me on that promote special.

[Steph Tolev]

But I was gonna say, what is this? This is when Oprah Winfrey started the self help. Basically, like, brought it all to light. And a lot of women got turned on to Oprah Winfrey. And also the stuff that was pretty useful and pretty good, and now it's, like, carried on a decade too long.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And she's. That's the Voice now.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Just do it.

[Tom Segura]

You don't forget that Filth Queen comes.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Out June 24th on May. I won't be watching it, but. Yeah, you should.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, I won't be watching it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No. No way. I can't. My eyeballs can't see that.

[Steph Tolev]

You know what I. What I put inside of my heart and my spirit is pure.

[Tom Segura]

There's always that. There's. The pitch always goes.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Has to go up and down.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It is fun to do. Now that you do the Voice, I'm like, oh, I could. This is.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, you know what they love to say, these types of people. I love that for you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

Steph, I love that for you.

[Tom Segura]

Hustler.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I love that for you.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I want to spread it wide open. Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

But I love that for you.

[Tom Segura]

For you.

[Steph Tolev]

Which the insinuation is like, not for me.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

Because I'm better than you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

But for you, that's a good choice.

[Tom Segura]

Food on the ground. And I love that for you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You hungry?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Get on your hands and knees, you little pig.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. There's some scraps that I didn't have. And I love that for you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You want to scrape out the bottom of my Tupperware? Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

There's some wagyu in the fridge. But that's for me. But for you, I love something else.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Garbage. I in the toilet and it clogged. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And I love that for you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I love that for you.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah. These are women that don't have negative.

[Tom Segura]

Is it acceptable to marry my cousin?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Duh.

[Tom Segura]

You want to marry her? Go ahead. It is halal now. For some reason, this is something people make. I didn't know that, oh, go marry your cousin.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Go marry your cousin.

[Tom Segura]

Yo, bro, we marry cousins all the time. People have been marrying cousins for millions of years, bro. And yes, the chances of a birth defect might be increased, but it's not to the level where Allah knows us. Allah knows best. It's not to the level where it's gonna be dangerous. My parents were cousins. Look how I turned out. I have brothers and sisters who married cousins. I have lots of people in my family who are cousins, who are married. Absolutely not a single issue in any of my siblings family ever. So you want a marry cousin, go ahead. You don't want to go find Halal, buddy. How do you feel about marrying a cousin?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's disgusting.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

There's so many other people out there.

[Tom Segura]

There's so many billion, literally billions, many.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Other human beings out there. Why on earth would you.

[Steph Tolev]

But have you had a hot cousin?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, I had a sex dream. One of my cousins years ago. And I'll tell you what, Christmas is still funny because my other cousins know about it. No, he, he was a Mormon, so it would have been not that gross. No, I'm kidding. No, it's still even gross.

[Steph Tolev]

It would be halal, though.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It'd be. Hello. I didn't know it was, it was clean. No, it's disgusting. I don't, I don't understand. There's, there's too many people. Why do you want anyone looks like you?

[Tom Segura]

I know, I'm a pulse also. Like, don't you want to just get out there and meet somebody?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Change up the vibe here? That's why get, get a new family also? Yeah. Do you want, do you love your family that much? Keep it in. Just keep it all together this tight. Yeah, I, I, that's, But this is England. That's England.

[Steph Tolev]

England. They're all cousin. That's why they're all like the same.

[Tom Segura]

Well, the royals all married each other.

[Steph Tolev]

That island is inbred. You know, they, their cousins.

[Tom Segura]

That's why they look like.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's why the teeth are like that.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Look at, like Scottish. And it's always. You're like the going on here because.

[Steph Tolev]

They'Re on an island together and they all fucked for centuries now.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I feel like there's enough people. Yeah. You want to change it up? That's why I want a whitey. I want a big old whitey. Mix it up down there.

[Tom Segura]

Mix up the jean.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Get out of Bulgaria.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Get out of Bulgaria. Slop it around. I, I find that it's also like you, you have no personality. That you have to just rely on, like, talking to your family still, like, you can't.

[Tom Segura]

Ridiculous.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's absurd.

[Tom Segura]

Get out there. Change your eye color. Ready to go in and get your eye color change.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, this. I can't do this.

[Steph Tolev]

Been wanting to do this for a long time.

[Tom Segura]

Everyone's been wanting you to do it.

[Steph Tolev]

Do it.

[Tom Segura]

Your eyes are gross lately. Green. What are your friends and family thinking?

[Steph Tolev]

Friends are really excited.

[Tom Segura]

Let's do this, shall we?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, no, no, no, no, no. I can't. I can't do eye stuff.

[Steph Tolev]

I know. It's so hard to.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, dude.

[Steph Tolev]

With your eyes. Just for the.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, you're. You're the guy at your front desk. Oh. Oh, God. There you go. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ.

[Steph Tolev]

And they don't look like real green. They look like alien green. She's got, like, vampire green. Very happy with those.

[Tom Segura]

I said they're perfect.

[Steph Tolev]

No, they're not. They look crazy.

[Tom Segura]

So what do you think your friends are going to say?

[Steph Tolev]

You look like an alien sleaze.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Deck. I can't. I really. I.

[Steph Tolev]

She does not look good. They didn't even put her out.

[Tom Segura]

Let's see.

[Steph Tolev]

You can't do anesthesia.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Those are Hulk green.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah. They're not.

[Tom Segura]

You know what I mean? Like, Incredible Hulk. Yeah, the idea, like, they don't look like. Oh, your eyes are green. They look like screaming green.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

As if anyone stopped her on the street or comments in an inner video. God, your eyes are poopoo caca. I can't look at you. Disgusting eye pig. That's insane to get that done.

[Tom Segura]

So crazy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's so gross.

[Steph Tolev]

Literally looks like a lizard person.

[Tom Segura]

I would do this, though.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Like, the guy who lives out here. Have you seen the lizard guy out here? Yeah. That guy's dick better be green. It pisses me off. If that man's is white, I will. That's psychotic.

[Tom Segura]

Which guy?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Lizard man out here. I always see him out here.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You can't go full lizard and have a white dick. No, that's nuts.

[Steph Tolev]

I'm sure he doesn't.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You have to have 10 balls. A nuis. Has to be.

[Steph Tolev]

Dude, it doesn't look good. It's not.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What a strange.

[Steph Tolev]

You know why? Because they need to have. Like, there needs to be some contouring or some blending of dark and light. Like, it's all just light.

[Jefferson McDonald]

Neat.

[Steph Tolev]

It's all good.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

If I get a hair in my eye, I leave it. I can't even touch my eyeball. It's. It's gone. We're done. Now you. There's hairs in my head.

[Tom Segura]

Would you do eye surgery?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Never. If I. If I have the laser, I'm gonna have bottle caps. I'm gonna look like you two. I'm gonna tell you right now, I ain't ever. I can't put a contact in.

[Tom Segura]

No.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I was always scared. I'm like, if I got an acting role, like, you have to. I'm like, well, then I'm not doing it. Yeah, I can't touch my. This guy. This guy's dick better be green.

[Tom Segura]

It is.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You cut your tongue, you put inserts.

[Tom Segura]

In your head, dick pics out there.

[Steph Tolev]

He's gotta have dick.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

There has to be.

[Tom Segura]

You go, he's definitely modified his dick.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You can't go this far, right?

[Tom Segura]

And be like, oh, here's my normal dick. No.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Like, he's gone.

[Steph Tolev]

Does it say he's done more stuff to his dick?

[Tom Segura]

If you search the dick.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Stuff. Dick.

[Steph Tolev]

Now there's more.

[Tom Segura]

How about just nude?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Why did gay porn come up for that?

[Tom Segura]

Well, I don't know.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay, well, we gotta call him up.

[Tom Segura]

We gotta find you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm actually surprised you don't have his number, sir.

[Tom Segura]

Bring your dick in here.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Call him up.

[Tom Segura]

All right, we have to wrap this up. But, Steph, thanks for having me. No, we're so.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Thanks for quizzing me. Got it.

[Steph Tolev]

First of all, you're gonna do great.

[Tom Segura]

You're gonna pass your citizenship test. I'm very, very proud of you. And also, you can finally just renounce your Canadian. Canadian citizenship. It's a big deal.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, I'm getting dual citizen.

[Tom Segura]

You have to burn your passport. No, but so proud of you and happy for you. For Filth Queens.

[Steph Tolev]

Amazing. Great title, by the way. That's really funny.

[Tom Segura]

June 24th on Netflix. If you've never seen Steph, she's absolutely hilarious. Please watch the special. Don't forget to pick up her Hustler spread, which is coming up as well. And then her and I don't know if her and Tony John are going to work together in some way, but it's gonna be.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm not gonna see him. I'm gonna see him this summer. We're going up. We go up there and you know what?

[Tom Segura]

If you go see Steph on tour, which you absolutely should, bring her some homemade poutine and just show her a good time. We love you. Thank you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Thanks for having me. My gosh. Thank you.

[Tom Segura]

We'll see you guys next week.

[Tony Johns]

I think it's a game, huh? But here comes the camera crew. Come on. I Don't care where you from Road, bridge, Appaloosas, Church Point. Come on, bring it to me. It's beautiful.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Big ass.

[Tony Johns]

When one time she got a little brick building One time she got a little brick building One time she got a little brick building One time.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

She.

[Tony Johns]

Got a little brick building One time she got a little brick building One time she got a little brick building One time Imma tell her Draws up.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Sam.

[Tony Johns]

Got some water over there. Here, my boy.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Tony Johns]

Doesn't matter if she young oh, yeah I want to eat your feet yeah I want to eat your feet yeah I want to eat your feet I want your feet yeah I want to eat your feet doesn't matter if you young or old huh? One time how you doing, my baby? I've been all right don't got to play this music When I, when I say I'm gonna make you feel like a woman Imma make you feel like a woman Straight up Be your eyes My, my baby girl when you gonna let me touch your ass? I promise you it's church oh, yeah, my baby, it's church My baby girl I'mma make you feel good baby I promise you in your eyes the way you been and over like this Just give me one chance please my baby yeah, give me me one chance my baby girl I want to eat your ass One time one time she got a little brick building building One time she got a little brick building One time she got a little brick building One time she got a little brick building One time she got a little brick building One time she got a little brick building One time I'mma tear.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Her draws up.

[Tony Johns]

Well, come on with it. Show me. Yeah, Bill, one is church One time she got a little brick building One time she got a little a brick building One time she got a little brick building One time she got a little brick building One time she got a little brick building One time she got a little brick building One time.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'mma tear her draws up.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, my.

[Tony Johns]

Baby girl Gabriel, I'm looking at you, girl. Yeah, you beautiful, baby. And they got some boot over there, Mama. I'm telling you, man, that booty gonna touch your chest. Listen to this. I'm going to eat them little Muslim women draws. Yeah, I'm gonna smoke these draws. When I say Imma smell your draws. When I'm laying down, Imma smell your draw. Nina, I bet you any kind of money you can't put your booty in my face. And it doesn't matter if you got a small booty or a big booty. Guess what you want to swing at. You know how I let that dog go? Straight up. Be a woman. When I get through with you, you're not going back to your house. You're going to stay over here with me. Straight up. I call it like I see. Yeah, because you ain't never had that feeling before. Be a woman.