Surviving An Ice Storm | Your Mom's House Ep. 844

Summary

Podcast Summary

Your Mom's House Ep. 844: "Surviving An Ice Storm"

Hosted by: Christina P. & Tom Segura
Release Date: January 28, 2026
Studio: YMH Studios

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Main Theme / Overview

This episode of Your Mom's House finds Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura riffing remotely as a big winter storm approaches Christina’s area. The episode weaves their signature blend of marital banter, absurd internet video commentary, and classic YMH inside jokes (“double pipe classic,” dental updates, and more). The Mommies dig into memes, highlight social media oddballs, and swap family anecdotes, all while Christina prepares to ride out the coming storm with wine and cinnamon rolls.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Storm Prep and Family Banter

• Christina is nervous about an incoming storm, while Tom is in LA, unbothered.
• Jokes about stocking up only on cinnamon rolls and wine (00:56).
• Christina: “All they need is cinnamon rolls and alcohol.” (01:16)
• Tom: “The kids love wine.” (01:10)

Cold Sores and Christina P. Cosmetics

• Christina reveals she’s hiding a cold sore with her own “liquid lipstick.”
• Tom takes it in a raunchy direction, wondering which past lover gave her the cold sore (01:38).
• Christina: “You feel like the dirtiest, filthiest that ever lived. And I hate myself.” (01:50)
• Christina plugs her lipstick as “made specifically for camouflaging herpes.” (02:49)

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2. Deep-Dive: Connor and the Diamond Flex Video

Introduction to Connor (03:36 - 07:43)

• Tom and Christina dissect a viral, confusing social media video by “Connor,” who shows off a $3,000 diamond necklace, allegedly from his mother, to prove his worth and financial assets.
• Tom: “At first, I thought he robbed his mom.” (07:19)
• Christina: “My mommy loves me so much, bro. She gave me $3,000 of diamonds, honey.” (14:59)

Analysis and Theories (07:43 - 18:09)

• The hosts replay and break down Connor’s bizarre monologue, trying to understand the meaning, the relationship with his mom, and what prompted the flex.
• Christina hypothesizes Connor is either gamer (possibly reforming “tweaker”), trying to prove to online haters that he’s valuable and trustworthy.
• Tom and Christina relate the situation to their own kids and joke about childish flexing.
• Tom speculates Connor needs the money for a dirt bike or jet ski, not rent (11:09).
• Christina: “This sounds like a toddler flex.” (15:50)

Takeaways

• They see the video as a monument to internet confrontation and the urge to validate oneself online.
• Christina: “I think we know which one’s gonna come up positive” (regarding mental health testing) (22:05).

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3. Family Stories: Dehydrated Parents and Generational Health Habits

Christina’s Trip to the ER (32:35 - 35:41)

• Christina shares the saga of taking Tom’s mom to the ER, thinking she might have had a stroke; turns out, she was just dehydrated.
• Tom mocks his mother and late father’s lifelong hatred of water.
  • “I hate water. I just—I don't like it, how it tastes. It's not supposed to have a fucking taste.” (34:17)

Genetics & Longevity Rant (30:22 - 32:35)

• Tom cites Peter Attia: the best predictors for longevity are VO2 max and grip strength—not just healthy eating or not smoking.
• Tom reflects on elderly relatives' trash diets, remaining healthy, and how “genetics is the real secret.”

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4. Internet Deep Cuts: Oddball Social Media Personalities

Profiles in Eccentricity

• Tom and Christina recap the pages and videos of several social media characters, including:
  • A boomer arguing about “assets” and coolers in his basement.
  • Patrick Dunsberry, a 5’5", 60s guy with a headboard made of a mattress, who claims it’s “for women’s comfort” (40:28).
    • “It’s for your protection. So if you were with him, for instance, Christina, you wouldn’t—your head and your face gets protection.” (41:07)
  • Video breakdowns of bizarre flexes, lonely rants, and odd dog stories.

“Cool Guys” Club

• Christina and Tom fantasize about these “characters” living together and supporting only “white-owned businesses—a running joke referencing one man’s unhinged rant about race and business.

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5. Gender, Race, & Internet Polls

The “Gay Male Porn” Survey (44:34)

• Christina shares the results from a poll she posted: “Do women like gay male porn?” 51% yes, 49% no.
• Christina: “Women, gay porn. Yes. 51:49. Isn’t that crazy? It’s pretty polarizing.” (44:59)

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6. Double Pipe Classic: A Major YMH Milestone

• Christina announces her first “double pipe classic” (simultaneous burp & fart) in years.
• Christina: “You have to be vigilant about your double pipe classic. Vigilant.” (48:14)
• Explains it happened after eating quinoa salad and grabbing wine—another classic moment for longtime YMH fans (45:43 - 47:38).

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7. Commenting on Bizarre and Dark Viral Clips

Serial Killer Interview (60:41 - 65:13)

• Tom introduces a prison interview with a convicted serial killer, who is disturbingly detached and admits to dozens of murders with laughter.
• Christina reframes his detachment as a perverse version of Buddhist non-attachment: “This is what Buddhists have been trying to get you to your whole life: to be detached.” (62:28)
• Tom: “Most of us will never be this free.” (63:48)

Laughter Yoga

• Brief, mocking segment on “laughter yoga,” which both hosts hate.

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8. Classic YMH Bits: Wiping, Dental Updates, and Parenting

• Quick references throughout to YMH’s recurring gags, like unusual wiping techniques, “beefing” (farting), and the challenges of raising children with unusual parents.
• Christina continues to joke about her “liquid lipstick” and secondary product purposes.

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9. Race, Social Media, and Culture

• Gene (producer) and Tom riff on black vs. white social media habits, archiving posts, and cultural “mysteries”.
• Christina seeks Gene’s “black opinion” on Jaden Smith’s newest Louboutin shoe designs: “Are we clowning him or having mercy?” (54:00)
• Discussion of the passing of a YMH “cool guy” (White Folks) and the recurring YMH meme of “supporting white businesses” as a running joke.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On storm prepping:

  • Christina: “All they need is cinnamon rolls and alcohol.” (01:16)
  • Tom: “The kids love wine.” (01:10)

• On “assets” and diamonds:

  • Christina: “My mommy loves me so much, bro. She gave me $3,000 of diamonds, honey.” (14:59)
  • Tom: “At first, I thought he robbed his mom.” (07:19)

• On weird family health habits:

  • Tom: “My mom makes up her ailments...I'm declining now. I'm scared to walk...my legs, I’m scared they will give out.” (32:18)
  • Tom: “I hate water...it’s not supposed to have a fucking taste.” (34:17)
  • Tom on his dad: “He’d go on a run…come back…open the fridge, grab a Diet Coke…That would be his ‘how he would replenish.’” (34:43)

• On the double pipe classic:

  • Christina: “You have to be vigilant about your double pipe classic. Vigilant.” (48:14)

• On the serial killer:

  • Interviewer: “You have no humanity.”
    • Tom/serial killer: “I don’t think I do.” (61:51)
  • Tom: “This is what Buddhists have been trying to get you to your whole life: to be detached.” (62:28)

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Timestamps of Important Segments

• 00:56 – Christina discusses storm prep, jokes about supplies
• 01:38 – Cold sore confession & lipstick plug
• 03:36 – 18:09 – Analysis of “Connor & the Diamond Flex” video
• 22:05 – Christina speculates on who in Connor’s family would “test positive” for mental illness
• 32:35 – 35:41 – Christina recounts ER trip and parents’ weird hydration habits
• 40:28 – 41:45 – Mattress “headboard” for “women’s comfort” story
• 44:34 – Poll results: Do women like gay male porn?
• 45:43 – 47:38 – Christina’s “double pipe classic” milestone
• 60:41 – 65:13 – Serial killer prison interview commentary
• 66:03 – Laughter yoga mocking
• 68:36 – end – Outtro: more storm jokes, prepping, and show wrap

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Conclusion

This episode delivers exactly what seasoned YMH fans expect: a blend of outrageous video commentary, family overshare, and riffing on the internet’s weirdest corners. The “diamond necklace” flex saga stands out as an epic rabbit hole, while the double pipe classic and storm prep keep things grounded in classic Mommies energy. Longtime running themes—wiping, “cool guys,” race jokes, internet oddities, and candid parenting—make this a quintessential Your Mom’s House episode.

Transcript

[Tom Segura]

Well, welcome.

Welcome to your mom's house.

[Christina P]

How do you make chicken nuggets, like 7,000% better?

[Tom Segura]

Short answer, you let Taco Bell make them. Long answer, Start with all white meat chicken nuggets, bread them in crunchy tortilla.

[Christina P]

Chips, and serve them with Hidden Valley Diablo Ranch.

[Tom Segura]

Yep, that's Hidden Valley Ranch mixed with Taco Bell Diablo sauce. It's exactly what it sounds like. And.

[Christina P]

And somehow even better.

[Tom Segura]

Simple math, spicy results, crispy chicken nuggets.

[Christina P]

From Taco Bell, a brand new classic at participating US Taco Bell locations for a limited time only, while supplies last. Oh, gee. Hi. Welcome to your mom's house. I'm so upset because there's. There's storm watches happening, Tim, and you're in la. Do you know that the big snow is coming?

[Tom Segura]

I know it's coming. I've seen it on the news. Yeah, but everything's set up for you guys, right?

[Christina P]

Everybody's hoarding food and toilet paper, but I've stocked up on. I bought lots of cinnamon rolls for the kids. And wine. That's all I have in the house.

[Tom Segura]

The kids love wine. The kids love wine.

[Christina P]

I love it. All they need is cinnamon rolls and alcohol.

[Tom Segura]

And then secondly, they don't need water.

[Christina P]

They don't need water. Secondly. I'm so stoked that you're not here. I have a cold sore. I know. Here's the thing, though. I used Christina P's liquid lipstick to cover up my cold sore. So if you have a cold sore.

[Tom Segura]

When your cold sore comes back, do you close your eyes and you remember which penis it was from your past that gave it to you? That dirty, rotten penis?

[Christina P]

I think I might. Yeah. I feel like the dirtiest. Like, when you have a culture, you feel like the dirtiest, filthiest that ever lived. And I hate myself.

[Tom Segura]

Right. So do you remember the one where. Who gave it to you?

[Christina P]

I think I do. I think I know which dick it was. I think I do. Very young. I was very young. But then I got mono and I'm not sure who I got that from. Like, I mean, do you remember every STD you've ever got?

[Tom Segura]

Well, you're probably getting passed around. Yeah. Kind of tough when you're like, wow, I had a train run on me last night. I don't know. One of them. I guess it's more like a city you name, right? Have you ever even met Stockton?

[Christina P]

Stockton? I don't even think you have. If you don't remember, then you. You haven't because they're so traumatic. And you hate yourself so much.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. No, then I haven't. You're right. I have not. I have not.

[Christina P]

They're so embarrassing. But like I said, my Christina P. Liquid lipstick covers cold sores up the best. So if you want to cover up that dirty cold sore, buy my lipstick now in time for Valentine's Day.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's true, man.

[Christina P]

The cuts you up is made specifically for camouflaging herpes. Cold sores on your face. Get it now. Order now. Time for Valentine's.

[Tom Segura]

It's a great message, dude. It's a great message. We should talk about this winter weather coming up.

[Christina P]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Segura]

There's a lot to go over, but let's.

[Christina P]

No, I know. I just got so excited to see you. Just so you know. I can see it's mutual, the feeling.

[Tom Segura]

Let's start.

[Christina P]

The first time I've talked to him in like a week since we last did the show. Literally so busy. I talked him for five minutes. This is the longest I've seen you. And you're like, burp. I'm so. Did you see that relationship?

[Tom Segura]

Everything, everything, everything happens for a reason.

[Christina P]

Okay? Go do your thing.

[Connor]

It's every person out there. Don't ever play with me again. I'm telling you right now. Don't ever play with me. Because I'm telling you right now. I'm telling you right the now. Don't ever play with my again. Because if you ever come in and think you know something, I'm gonna show you what the is up. Yeah, dude, Come on, bring it in, Connor. Show them what it is right the here. Guess what the that is. That's my diamonds, baby. That's 3K right there. If I ever need the money or if I ever need to come the up, I'll go use every asset.

[Tom Segura]

You. Connor. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom.

[Christina P]

Segura, Mom Shakura, and Chris.

[Tom Segura]

Christina, welcome to your mom's house.

[Christina P]

Now. Yeah.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

There's so much going on in this video.

[Christina P]

Well, I'm not sure I understand.

[Tom Segura]

You shouldn't. But I mean, first of all, there's the message. He's like, bring that no one ever with me. And then he calls out Connor, and then he's like, got my diamonds here. And then there's like. Is this room. Is he 8ft tall or is this room 5, 10? It's. It's like, there's coolers and paint and an electric fireplace and that's the good one. It also kind of looks like a. Like a gay porn's about to start, right? Like, the. The quality of the angle and. And his build. It looks like he's probably tried things. Like, it's all there. And then you're like, okay, I don't know what's going on. And then the second part.

[Connor]

And guess what?

[Tom Segura]

What?

[Connor]

My mother knows it because of this. That's Real Diamonds, dude. What's up? If I ever need my money, I'm gonna go right to my mother and take that right off her neck, and she's gonna give it to me. That's telling you right now. That's why I know my mother and I are good, because she gave me this piece right here. Back. I asked for it. Mom, I need the cash. Would you give me that? Boom. Took that right off. Come on. Tell me right now. I'm gonna tell you right now. I'm gonna shock the world. You get the. Out of my face. Don't you ever come and play. And I'm gonna go give that back right, too. I'm gonna go put that 3k right back on her neck. Watch. Watch.

[Tom Segura]

I'm. I'm so. I'm so baffled because I also want to know, what did Connor say? Did Connor say, like, there's no way you could steal some shit from your mom or. Or, like, you don't have any money? Or there's no way you could. You could pay for something? Like, it feels like he felt threatened or challenged about, like, his. Either what he has or his access to money or his relationship with his mom. I don't know.

[Christina P]

It sounds to me.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

I agree.

[Christina P]

What's the debate here? And it feels like it's a mom flex. I feel like he's flexing about his brother. Maybe the quality of his relationship with his mother. He's like, dude, I was like, I need 300. Give me your necklace. Or $3,000.

[Tom Segura]

Then he was.

[Christina P]

I don't.

[Tom Segura]

He showed that, like. Like, anyone would be impressed with that necklace. Okay? Like, that is not a necklace that you go, oh, Jesus. But he showed it to him. He's like, look at this. Then he was like, I snagged that. At first, I thought he robbed his mom.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And then in the end, he's like, I'm gonna go give it right back to her. But I was like, yo, let me hold that. She was like, cool.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I don't. I mean, like, here. It deserves a second.

[Christina P]

He's like, my mommy trusts me. Is that what this is?

[Tom Segura]

You know what? Let's all watch this again. One. One more time. Because there's so Much here.

[Connor]

Every person out there. Don't ever to everyone me again. I'm telling you right now, don't ever play with me.

[Christina P]

So first of all, no one's playing with you.

[Tom Segura]

First of all, everyone. Everyone out there. Don't ever with me right now.

[Connor]

I'm telling you right the now. Don't ever play with my again. Because if you ever come in and think you know something, I'm gonna show you what the is up.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

That was awesome. That was like.

[Christina P]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

That was a real like explosive message. If you're doing a monologue, I'd be like, that part was great. He's. I'll show you what the yeah. Like. Yeah, I've been watching a lot of casting tapes.

[Christina P]

It was gonna say so it does. It feels like. Yeah. Like an actor.

[Tom Segura]

Really authentically him.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. So right now though all the only thing we know so far from this copy is everybody out there. Don't ever think you could with me. And if you do think you could, we all show everybody what's up. So I have no idea where we're going yet. Listen to.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Might I also.

[Tom Segura]

He's an underground bunker.

[Christina P]

But he's also showing you like you pointed out all the items that he has. Those are all.

[Tom Segura]

I have a certificate from a college. I have a lamp that I could take outside. I have paint. I have a cooler. I have a smaller cooler. I have a three painter.

[Christina P]

I have a Rob Ross painting.

[Tom Segura]

I have a bunch of cold drinks painting. A lantern, a miniature Christmas tree. I have a thing that looks like a fireplace but is just decorative. I have yeah, there's all kinds of. And all this is mine. He's letting you know my showing and that's really what everybody wants to do in this world is go. This is mine.

[Christina P]

Not everybody. I don't. I'm the opposite. I want to be like, don't look at my stuff because you're going to like it and steal it from me. I have the communist still a version.

[Tom Segura]

Of I have my. You know, I have stuff.

[Christina P]

Don't look at my stuff.

[Tom Segura]

Please don't look at my stuff.

[Connor]

Yeah, bring it in, Connor.

[Christina P]

Show them what it is, Connor.

[Tom Segura]

So then maybe Conor was like, I don't believe you have any I don't believe you have any coolers and I don't believe you have any lamps and I don't believe you have any paintings. And then he's like, bring it in. Check this out.

[Connor]

The here that is. Oh, that's my diamonds, baby. That's 3K right there.

[Christina P]

Conor was like, you don't have $3,000 in diamonds.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christina P]

And he's like, yes, I do, dude. My mommy gave it to me.

[Tom Segura]

And you don't. You don't have diamonds. Yeah, because he's like, those are my diamonds. Which is. It's like when you say I have diamonds, it usually implies you have, like, loose diamonds, right? Oh, okay. If you have a diamond bracelet, you wouldn't say, I have diamonds. You'd say, I have a diamond bracelet. Right? I have diamond earrings. Someone who goes, I have diamonds. I think he's flying that you have.

[Christina P]

You know what I think?

[Tom Segura]

Diamonds.

[Christina P]

He's saying that I have a lot of cash assets. He's like, I got liquid assets on deck.

[Tom Segura]

I wonder what Connor said to him.

[Christina P]

You have cash.

[Tom Segura]

How the are you gonna pay for this? How are you gonna pay for this motorcycle, right? Like, it's $2800. He wants definitely $2800.

[Christina P]

That's definitely this guy's want. It's a dirt bike.

[Tom Segura]

A dirt bike, a jet ski.

[Christina P]

It's something so stupid. For sure it's not rent.

[Tom Segura]

For sure. The. No, it's not rent.

[Connor]

If I ever need the money or if I ever need to come the up, I'll go use every asset. And guess what?

[Tom Segura]

Look at all my here. Look at my room of assets. Look at this.

[Christina P]

That's what he's saying.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Yeah, that's what he's saying.

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[Tom Segura]

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[Christina P]

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[Christina P]

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[Connor]

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[Christina P]

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[Connor]

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[Tom Segura]

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[Connor]

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[Christina P]

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[Christina P]

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[Connor]

My mother knows it.

[Christina P]

My mother.

[Tom Segura]

My mother knows it.

[Christina P]

His mommy.

[Tom Segura]

Mother. My mother knows it.

[Christina P]

Correct.

[Connor]

That's real diamonds.

[Tom Segura]

Real diamonds. I mean, I can't even make out that that is diamonds. Like he's holding that up. If he had said nothing, I'd be like, I see you have a silver pendant. I don't understand.

[Connor]

If I ever need my money, I'm gonna go right to my mother and take that right off her neck.

[Tom Segura]

Well, they this is part of the messaging that I'm it's confusing because it at first you're like, oh, my mom gave me that. And then he's like, if I ever need money, I will steal this right off of my mom's neck. So does his mom wear that every day?

[Christina P]

I think the first the flag is.

[Tom Segura]

That his mom's willing to give it to him.

[Christina P]

Yeah, he doesn't have to. He's not gonna rob his mom. But his mommy loves him so much that his mommy will give him the necklace like, my mommy loves me so much, bro. She gave me $3,000 of diamonds, honey.

[Tom Segura]

I could see our youngest doing a video like this.

[Christina P]

Our kid. God, don't even.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Our kid. Being like, you don't think I can do. If I need, I'll come. I'll steal it off of my mom.

[Christina P]

Oh, my God. Don't even.

[Connor]

Is she gonna give it to me?

[Christina P]

She's gonna give it right now.

[Connor]

That's why. I know.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. But he just said I'd take that off of her neck. I think now he's like, she'll give it to me. He's just fired up.

[Christina P]

Yeah. He's trying to be like, she just loves me so much. My mommy just gives me what I want.

[Tom Segura]

I wish he said mommy.

[Christina P]

That's what this sounds like. This sounds like a toddler flex.

[Tom Segura]

I was talking to my mommy last night, and I was like, mommy, I need that diamond necklace you wear. My mommy said, yeah, come get this.

[Christina P]

That's his argument.

[Connor]

That's literally because she gave me this piece right here Back.

[Christina P]

My mother and I are good.

[Connor]

I asked for it. Mom, I need the cash. Would you give me that?

[Interviewer]

Boom.

[Connor]

Took that right off. Come on, tell me right now. I'm gonna tell you right now. I'm gonna shock the world out of my face. Don't you ever come and play. And I'm gonna go give that back right, too. I'm gonna go put that 3k right back on her neck. Watch, watch.

[Christina P]

I'm lost.

[Tom Segura]

So then the flex.

[Christina P]

I'm lost.

[Tom Segura]

Then the flex becomes that. I can get this, but I am. I'm not gonna do that to my mother. I'm gonna give it back to her, but if I need it, she will give it to me.

[Christina P]

Oh.

[Tom Segura]

So he's like, I'm a good son. I'm not. I'm not keeping it. But I'm just showing you that I have. I can get it from her if I need it. God, you don't think I'm. You don't think I'm gonna be on a dirt bike soon? Watch. Yeah. Where did you find this video, dude? Where did you guys find this? Please tell me. I thought this was one you sent in.

[Christina P]

Did you not send this in?

[Tom Segura]

I don't know. I send a lot in.

[Connor]

I think you sent this in.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

That's amazing.

[Tom Segura]

So this is. Can somebody see? Is this guy's. Is it from his account or is it from, like, a. No, that's from his account. It's from his Instagram page. Yeah, bro.

[Connor]

It's really wild.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, let's going. Let's, let's. Yeah, go ahead.

[Christina P]

Can I tell you my theory, Connor Pearson? Hold on. Being earth oriented as I ride my smoothest line. I have yet to write my greatest lines. To be continued. I don't know what the that means.

[Tom Segura]

I think, I don't know, but. Oh, he's a gamer. He's like. You don't think I have a new PS5 VR2 headset? What?

[Christina P]

Oh, they're Maggie Brown.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, boy.

[Christina P]

Please say, oh, this is. This is. Okay, I, I. Now the picture's clear.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, I think.

[Christina P]

Can I tell you my theory with Connor?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, he's gaming all the time.

[Christina P]

I thought he was a tweaker and maybe like, he'd stolen money from his mom before, but now she trusts him again.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, there it is. You can see it up close. Now scroll up a little bit. Right up. Right above Psalm 23, there's a dime. That's a diamond.

[Christina P]

Yeah, the diamond necklace.

[Tom Segura]

Let's see. You need to contact me immediately.

I call on you to come back.

[Connor]

Bring my diamonds back home.

[Tom Segura]

Now you will understand.

[Christina P]

He wanted to understand. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Wait a minute. His name is Connor.

[Christina P]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I thought he called out Connor.

[Gene]

I think he was like, hyping himself up, like.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, Connor. Well, I mean, now I'm. Did he challenge himself to get the diamonds? I don't understand.

[Christina P]

What's that writing behind his head there? Did he make his posters? What is going on? Once we're quoting the Bible.

[Tom Segura]

That's right. Comments.

[Christina P]

Smoke. Check yourself before you comment again.

[Connor]

That was not.

[Tom Segura]

There are a lot of dark angels. What's not the right comment to everyone. Okay.

[Connor]

Of my friends in that. Yeah, friends in that area. You're done.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, whoa.

[Christina P]

He just lost a bunch of friends, dude. He was like, no longer.

[Tom Segura]

There'S that diamond necklace.

[Christina P]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Next time someone want to add some dumb.

[Connor]

Just so you know.

[Tom Segura]

I can go to the FBI. I can go to the FBI. I can go to da.

[Connor]

Go to everyone and swipe everybody out.

[Tom Segura]

From under the table.

[Christina P]

Damn, dude.

[Tom Segura]

Wow.

[Christina P]

Don't do that.

[Tom Segura]

Guys with that kind of access are dangerous.

[Christina P]

But he is dangerous, and he's doing it shirtless to show you that he's physically dangerous.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, he's physically fit too. Yeah.

[Christina P]

What's these notes?

[Tom Segura]

These notes are something. These notes are something. And who's the woman? This is interesting. This is a new character. Just go somewhere else. Is that mom?

[Christina P]

That is my kitchen. I can. I have every right to be here. You don't want to be Here. Then you go, come on.

[Tom Segura]

You're screaming, you're yelling, you're.

[Christina P]

You're.

[Connor]

You're making them just obnoxious. You just came in screaming and yelling.

[Christina P]

Because my gas and electric doubled because of you. I'm sorry that you feel that way, okay? It's not that I feel that feel that way. It's a fact. And I'll be bringing it up in court.

[Tom Segura]

Thank you. Mom, just. Can you just leave me alone? I'm just trying to have some cup of coffee and relax.

[Christina P]

Go ahead and go somewhere else then. Go in your room.

[Tom Segura]

Mom, can we have a heart to heart talk? Mom, can we have a heart to heart talk?

[Christina P]

It's me with your kids, man.

[Tom Segura]

I think you should go get tested for dementia.

[Christina P]

I think you should get tested for mental health issues.

[Tom Segura]

I will if you can get.

[Christina P]

A lot of people are saying that, Connor.

[Tom Segura]

Mom.

Okay, I will if you can get tested too. Sure. You'll go get tested to go get dementia.

[Christina P]

If you get tested for mental health.

[Tom Segura]

That's fine.

[Christina P]

All right.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's fine. But you got to get tested for me. And Katrina's got to be here and.

[Christina P]

Katrina.

[Tom Segura]

Katrina. I gotta have a conversation with my.

[Connor]

Own sister without you being there.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, sister.

[Connor]

Is that okay with you?

[Tom Segura]

Good.

[Connor]

You got it.

[Tom Segura]

You have to agree to that.

[Christina P]

Hi, baby.

[Tom Segura]

No.

[Christina P]

Two more weeks.

[Tom Segura]

Now it makes this got so much I love, by the way, that the top comment on this is invested in this since the start. People are following. That is such an inside.

[Christina P]

This is no great fun. This is a premise for a sitcom. This is brilliant. Like the. The single mom.

[Tom Segura]

So this guy, I. Yeah, single mom with an adult child. Who, by the way, I think we all understand that if we get it, if they get tested, one of them is going to come up positive. And I think we know which one it is.

[Christina P]

I think we know it's not Katrina.

[Tom Segura]

And it ain't Mom. Wow.

[Christina P]

Wow. Now it makes sense. So it says, bro. Yeah. Bro is avoiding financial responsibility of why the utility has gone up. Yes, you may want coffee, but at the end of the day, we all have consequences of our actions. So he's not paying his bills. Hence the video of like, I can afford this.

[Tom Segura]

Pay bills. You can't pay bills if you don't have income. Yeah. Somebody basically was like, you're broke. That's what it is. Someone was like, you're broke. He's like, I'm broke. I got his diamond necklace from my mom's neck and I can sell it if I want to. Yeah.

[Christina P]

To pay her back for the utilities on her house.

[Tom Segura]

And this room is definitely a collection of his assets. It is definitely what's going on.

[Christina P]

The way he's positioned the cooler, he's definitely into that dirt bike. I think we're. He might be a lake guy though, because I see the beer cooler and. Yeah, you know, fishing.

[Tom Segura]

There's. There's three coolers there, babe. There's three. I also love that she goes, my utilities have doubled since you lived here. He goes, I'm sorry you feel that way. She's like, I don't feel that way. It's a fact. I'm sorry you feel like your bills have gone up since I've come around.

[Christina P]

What's the YouTube page like?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, man. Yeah, he's definitely. Holy. Oh, it's maybe reposting all those same things, Connor. Yeah, those are like a lot of the same videos. Well, there's more though. Wait, scroll up. Oh, scroll up a little bit. I saw more. I got a PSP with Star Wars Battlefront too. Yeah, so he's like posting about his games, I think. Is that what he's doing? What's that?

[Gene]

Everyone is racist clip?

[Christina P]

Oh, yeah. Oh, now we're cooking out of you little baby ass.

[Connor]

I'm gonna say something right now. I support only white businesses because if you. Only if black people and Mexicans and every other race can support just their racist business right out of here, I ain't shopping with you guys out here. I ain't shopping with that. So America's got to come to the reality that if you're a black owned business supporting just black people out of here. If you're a Mexican owned business and you support just Mexicans out of here, I don't give a about you guys because you guys are racist. I know because I grew up around black people, okay? Everyone's racist. Get that through your mind.

[Christina P]

I'm so confused. Is it me or did the argument completely flip flop? Like at first he was like, the races should just deal with the races. And then at the end he's like, the races should buy from all the races. I'm not sure what's the argument?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, he was. He's pretty much saying that he. He doesn't support the idea that some, usually minorities who are struggling to get a business going, go support your own, you know, like, oh yeah, they go, if you're black, like go to black owned businesses or like if you're Korean, support Korean business. He's like, I don't with that. So I'm gonna support White owned businesses only. Yeah, yeah.

[Christina P]

Connor is just. And he's got more behind him in that video. Did you notice how the.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I like that. He had a flag hanging. Yeah, it was cool.

[Christina P]

Flag. There's a flag. More artwork behind him.

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[Tom Segura]

By the way, speaking of races, let me tell you something. Any. Any, are you there?

[Gene]

Yeah, I'm here.

[Tom Segura]

What's up? I was so impressed that I have to do this remote setup and this guy off his dome can be like, go look for this button like to set this stuff up. Like, it's really impressive. It's like, oh, I really appreciate that.

[Gene]

I don't think that has anything to.

[Tom Segura]

Do with my race. No, I was just gonna say that you're like a wizard clown. Like, you're just like great. Just unbelievable. High level. Yeah, yeah.

[Gene]

Really nice of you, Tom. I'm really glad you said that.

[Tom Segura]

I was just really impressed. I was just saying that I was impressed with you.

[Gene]

I appreciate that. Thanks, boss. Boss of the company.

[Tom Segura]

I was. I was really just impressed.

[Christina P]

Dude, you know that he just turned 35?

[Gene]

No.

[Tom Segura]

No, you're lying. No.

[Christina P]

Why? I can't believe anything. Did you really turn 40?

[Gene]

Yes.

[Christina P]

Are you kidding?

[Tom Segura]

Solo big four O.

[Christina P]

Is he lying?

[Tom Segura]

40Z black don't crack big four. Oh, baby, you look great. You look great.

[Christina P]

You look great.

[Gene]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Christina P]

No, Way black people, they do you.

[Tom Segura]

Remember that, like there was like a couple month period, we were like, guess what I did. I. I ate real food. You're like, I feel so good. Yeah. I haven't. Yeah. That's cool. Horrible time. Yeah.

[Christina P]

Sorry.

[Tom Segura]

You're not on that anymore, are you?

[Gene]

Hell no. Sludge life.

[Christina P]

How often are you eating? And what are you eating?

[Gene]

I'm eating. I mean, usually once a day and probably the most unhealthy thing you could possibly think of. I'm probably eating that Chick Fil. A pizza.

[Christina P]

Pizza. In and out, wings. Perfect. No. Now is the time to really ramp that behavior up. When you turn 40, stop exercising, start eating garbage, because it only gets better.

[Tom Segura]

Here's the thing. I was gonna say it only gets easier. The. The older you get, just works better. Yeah. Yeah. You don't have to do anything much easier.

[Gene]

I mean, you know, you always hear about people reading healthy their whole life and they still, like, died at 50. And there is.

[Tom Segura]

But there is that person to that. Yeah.

[Gene]

You hear the person that was smoking one cig a day for 180 years and they're still alive. And that's going to be me.

[Tom Segura]

It is true.

[Gene]

Well, he just don't stop. There's just don't stop.

[Tom Segura]

That's the key.

[Christina P]

There is like, cigarettes, too.

[Tom Segura]

They always say that doesn't matter. There's a. There's there's videos of like these people that are over a hundred. And they always do like a news. Local news article, you know, like a visit from the news station. And they'll be like, what's your secret? And the person will be like, I eat ice cream.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Every day.

[Tom Segura]

Every day. Yeah. You're like, okay, so it is somebody who's like an anomaly.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

There.

[Christina P]

There is no. Here's the secret is genetics. That's the secret. That's the big secret. I don't. I just think, like, when I. I've had my cancer, doctors tell me, like, there are people like you just said, they don't smoke a day in their life and they die of lung cancer. And then there's.

[Tom Segura]

Well, I will say this, like, the. One of the best longevity experts in the world is Peter Attia.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And he said the biggest indicator of your, like a presumed longevity, your mortality on earth is not your. If you're a smoker, not your blood work, it's your VO2 Max and your. Yeah.

[Christina P]

What's VO2?

[Tom Segura]

Those are. The VO2 Max is like your body's capacity to intake oxygen and process. So it's really a. It's an indicator of your cardiovascular, your cardio level. So somebody, if you're. If you can run, you know, 6, 7 minute mile, your VO2 max is probably pretty high. You can do it yourself without getting the mask. You can do a thing called a Cooper test, which is you run on a flat surface for 12 miles. You. You take how long that is, you convert it, you can see all. You can Google the chart, and you can find out what your VO2 max is. That and like, grip strength are greatest indicators of how long you live. I bet you any's is actually pretty. I don't know how your cardio is. You think you can run? Can you run pretty fast or no?

[Gene]

Well, I mean, I can run fast, but not for long. Definitely not for long.

[Tom Segura]

That's the whole thing, though. How long can you run fast for? Can you run. Can. How fast can you run a mile, you think?

[Gene]

I mean, I have. I haven't ran a mile since high school. I don't know. I'd have to train. Oh, I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

[Tom Segura]

But I bet your grip strength is good.

[Gene]

Yeah, that's for sure. Well, that one's good.

[Tom Segura]

I would just say, keep smoking, man.

[Gene]

That's what you got to do.

[Christina P]

Dial it up.

[Gene]

Just keep it fast. As soon as you change, it's, you know, it's like getting a new engine in a car. Everything else up, you know, just keep.

[Tom Segura]

Doing what you do. That's right.

[Christina P]

My dad is a cockroach. Your mother is a cockroach. And these people have done nothing good for their health their entire lives. And they're now in their 80s, totally fine, totally alive.

[Tom Segura]

My mom's. My mom makes up her ailments.

[Christina P]

She's like, oh, I know.

[Tom Segura]

It's all. I'm declining now. I'm scared to walk like you're scared to walk. She's like, my legs, I'm scared they will give out. And I'm like, huh? Okay.

[Christina P]

We didn't even talk about. Do we talk about how I went to the ER with her like, two weeks ago?

[Tom Segura]

No, no, she.

[Christina P]

Well, you called me. You're like, I think my mom's having a stroke. Get over there.

[Tom Segura]

And I was like, they called me, I'm in la, and I was like. I go, there was a lady at the house, like, helping my mom out. And then she puts her on the phone. My mom was like, I tell me I. I'm okay. And I go, you don't sound okay. She's like, it will Pass in a moment. Like, mom, what are you talking about? I go, just call 91 1. She was like, no, it will pass. It will pass. It, like, hangs up. I'm like, okay. So I called back, and the lady's like, what should I do? I go, call 91 1. Like, what is going on? This makes sense.

[Christina P]

Don't hesitate. Just do it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. And so she did. And then I called you, and you're like, yes, I'll run over there.

[Christina P]

Yeah. So I'm over there, and, you know, the lady that's taking care of your mom is so frantic. I don't even think I told you that. Like, she was in, like, whenever there's an emergency, Latin ladies can't hold it down. I feel like they go into full. Just stop. Stop panicking. Just get your together. Let's go, dude. Yeah. And then we went to the hospital, and then they thought she was having a heart attack at first. And then he's like, she's just dehydrated.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

And that was the hospital. Four hours later, they're like, your mom's dehydrated.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

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[Christina P]

Thank you for that.

[Tom Segura]

I didn't tell you what the followup was. When I talked to her about it, I was like, so what does that tell you? I go, what does that tell you? All this was because you're dehydrated. She goes, but the thing is, to me, I hate water.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And I go, could you get, like, a liquid IV pack and flavor your water? She's like, that's a great idea. Of course, I'm sure she's never done it, but. Yeah.

[Christina P]

No. Or even. I was like, crystal light. Do you remember that?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

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[Christina P]

You could put that in your tang. Yeah, anything.

[Tom Segura]

They were both like that, by the way, too. My dad. My fucking dad. Rest in peace.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Was like, hey, I hate water. I just. I don't like it, how it tastes. I'm like, it's not supposed to have a fucking taste. It's water. He's like, yeah, I don't like it. And he would do this. He would do this. I would go, bro, you have to drink some more water. So I'd give him one of these, and he'd go. And then he put it down. And then, like, half an hour later, I go, you need to drink water. He goes, I did. I go, you had a sip. You're supposed to drink, like, six of those a day. And he's like, when I was in high school and growing up, all the time, he would come home from work and he would always go on a run. We lived in Florida, So it'd be 95 degrees outside. He'd go on a run, come back, you know, soaking wet, walk in, like in his soaking T shirt, open the fridge, grab a Diet Coke. Oh, yeah, that would be his. How he would replenish from the run.

[Christina P]

Yeah, Diet Coke. And when he would come to visit us, I would stock the house with caffeine free Diet Cokes. Because if you didn't, I'd have to hear about it. Got any Diet Cokes?

[Tom Segura]

Thoughtful of you guys. Couldn't go get some Diet Cokes. Okay.

[Christina P]

Okay. Yeah. My father never drinks water. I don't think I've ever seen him drink a glass of water or eat a salad in his entire life. That's still alive. He drinks Fresca. That's all he'll drink is Fresca. Like, how do you find Fresca?

[Tom Segura]

Four hours of tennis. He's like, let me go to Fresca.

[Christina P]

Or alcohol.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Beer.

[Christina P]

What are you talking about?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Beer?

[Christina P]

Like, how did your dad do Vietnam?

[Tom Segura]

Like, he's in the Diet Coke out here. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know, man. That's great. It's a great point because wouldn't they just be like perpetually dehydrated?

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

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[Tom Segura]

Jungle. And you're terrified. So you're sweating more. You have bullets flying over your head. Hey, guys, stay hydrated. You guys got dying coke.

[Christina P]

Totally crazy.

[Tom Segura]

Totally crazy.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Here, let's switch this up.

[Christina P]

Oh, We had to video this. Oh, oh.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

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[Christina P]

Dude.

[Tom Segura]

That was his upload.

[Christina P]

Just that.

[Tom Segura]

That was his video. Ah, God. Hold on. Okay, so this is Patrick Dunsberry. Stands five foot five. He's in his 60s. This is Patrick Hockey Palugi. He also uploads videos of himself arguing with people in the comments, but never references or tags the person he's responding to. It says why? No reason why he does this. He does have a drinking problem. He was arrested two years ago for public intoxication. Can we go to his page real quick? Oh. Oh my God. Oh, that's a cool account. That's a cool account title. That's his. His profile name. Can you scroll up to the top? Hey, hit me up on Instagram. I'm P800-233-721gmail.comore kotb underscore. Give me a follow. All right.

[Christina P]

Youth college, four years for music guitar. Institute of Technology in Hollywood for four years. Then the rest. Look where it's got me now.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah, Hollywood. Let's see some of these videos, man. I'm kind of interested. I mean, the first one was really cool.

Can't find a guitar pick. Okay, but I guess we don't really need one of those, do we?

No, no. You can play guitar without a pick.

[Christina P]

Yeah, it's not even playing.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, okay, let's go to the next one.

Here, get up here.

[Connor]

God damn it.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Connor]

Yeah.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Come on.

[Christina P]

I know what that apartment smells like.

[Tom Segura]

What do you think it smells like?

[Christina P]

That dog?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Gene]

You don't think it smells like a trash bag hanging off the wall?

[Tom Segura]

My little sister.

Go to the next one, see what else he's got.

[Christina P]

Swag. Grit.

[Tom Segura]

He's got a joint. That's a joint. That's cool.

[Christina P]

Good for him.

[Tom Segura]

Down with that, dude.

[Christina P]

That's the best part of his day.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, oh.

[Christina P]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah, bro.

[Christina P]

Get it broke. Oh, God.

[Tom Segura]

Let's see if we get him. Can you find him? Maybe? Yeah, maybe Talking there. Let's see what he's. Who he's. Oh, no. Sound.

[Christina P]

Perfect.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah. The mattress back of my bed. It's not a headboard. It's for women I've been with. Wouldn't get black eyes. Me bouncing them off that thing. Yeah, that's for the women's. Women's comfort, man. They still get knots.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You know the little knots in the back of their hair?

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

We've been screwing them all night.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Put that mattress in the back instead of a headboard or backboard for the woman's comfort. So don't get black eyes or bruised foreheads. Me bouncing them off the. Son of a. Oh, yeah, that's pretty.

That's pretty thoughtful. So he's saying that there's a mattress where the headboard would be and it's. It's for your protection. So if you were with him, for instance, Christina, if you were with him, you wouldn't. Your head and your face gets protection.

[Christina P]

Like, I went from amused to violently. I feel so ill. Could you imagine him?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's pretty cool.

[Christina P]

You know what's sad? What's really making me genuinely sad is that because.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, the.

[Christina P]

Like Gen X, we're the last generation to be clueless about technology. So we're gonna lose this valuable art.

[Tom Segura]

In the next of these guys.

[Christina P]

Generation. Yeah. Like, this is. Sucks. I'm sorry.

[Tom Segura]

The video without sound was awesome.

[Christina P]

Like a millennial's not going to do that. When they're no 60, they're going to know. We should be saving these.

[Tom Segura]

These are treasures he posted that he posted that?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Where is that?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Pause.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Upload.

[Tom Segura]

Upload. Share that.

[Christina P]

What's with the.

[Tom Segura]

Don't Forget to follow me 802-33-3721 Gmail.com_koTN_V Fer.

[Christina P]

He has two dogs in that apartment. Like, big dogs. He's like. One is a Scandinavian. Yeah, my two dogs. The German police dog and a Scandinavian bear dog. The Norwegian Scandinavian bear dog. We're fixing to go serve some papers to trying to steal my house. My dog's got my back. No one else does.

[Tom Segura]

He should link up with the first guy with the basement and the diamond necklace because they could live together, of course. Oh, they could support white owned businesses together, you know, with all their income.

[Christina P]

God, there needs to be. There needs to just be a social media platform for cool guys. Just cool.

[Tom Segura]

Is that a drawing? Do we have a drawing up there? If you scroll up to a little bit. Is that something he drew all of us? Oh, all of us have this coming. Okay, that's on the wall.

[Christina P]

I think he drew that on his wall.

[Tom Segura]

Babe. Yeah. What's the reminder? Everybody with a reminder with a back like pen. Hello, my name is Chuck Groves and I'm a homosexual.

[Christina P]

Sure.

[Connor]

I'm ready to start living as an openly gay man.

[Tom Segura]

I'm looking to meet other gay guys for friendship and dating. Cool. That's also our generation, you know? He's like, hello. Just putting this message out there. That's good, man.

[Christina P]

But gay guys are so cool, like, automatically. Oh, by the way, I posted a clip of us last week, me saying that I'm into gay man porn. And I just took an unofficial poll of the women to see if they think I'm vile and disgusting or if they too like it. Because we've been. I. I've heard that chicks dig it. So let's see.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Out of 500. This is crazy. Out of like 500 responses, it's 51% to 49%. 49% saying, no, you gross. You're gross. Isn't that crazy? It's pretty polarizing. This is like divisive topic, you know? Women, gay porn. Yes. 51:49 is no, you gross idiot. Can you believe that?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, but I mean, that means that a significant amount are with you, though. That's a lot.

[Christina P]

This is like an election. This is how tight elections are. This is really crazy. Yeah, man. Also, I have some big YMH news. This is chips in a bowl. This is cats eating kibble. This is a big deal, okay? I posted it on my tick tock, like right after it happened. January 16, 2026 at 6:14pm I had a double pipe classic.

[Tom Segura]

This is a YMH exclusive. YMH.

[Christina P]

Oh my God.

[Tom Segura]

Wow.

[Christina P]

I was euphoric in this video. Just watching.

[Tom Segura]

You should be. Everybody is when that happens.

[Christina P]

Go ahead, solo play. Just really quick. It's very important. Hi. I want you to know that today, January 16th, this is 2026 at exactly 6:14pm I, Christina P. Had a double pipe classic. Now if you're a fan of your mom's house, you know what that is. It's when you burp and fart at the same time. If you're not a fan of your mom's house. Well, now you know, and it's very rare. It hasn't happened to me in several years. And you know when it happens, it kind of sneaks up on you and you're like, oh my God, did I just burp and fart at the same time? And like you have to register it and it's just so special. And I wanted to share that with the World Biscuit. Just let me post this really quick. There's always a kid next to me like, mom, Mom, Mom.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Do you remember like, so that Pete? Because I think when this happens, everyone's like, well, what'd you just eat? What did you, how did you live that day?

[Christina P]

Yeah, well, I did have a lot of. I had. Oh, I know what I had. Mendocino Farms. I had the Quinau avocado salad and it was in the evening and I bent over to get a bottle of wine and out of the fridge and I beefed and I burped like it went beef and then burp, overlaid. And you know when you like, you go, oh my God. Like it, it, it occurs to you the chain of events and you're like, no, no, no, that is a double pipe classic. Like even the one started first the beef, but then the burp overlaid it. And I was like, this counts, right?

[Tom Segura]

We got to get you on, we got to get you on Huberman. Because I feel like this could be like something that he'd want to share with people too.

[Christina P]

You think so?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christina P]

Anatia.

[Tom Segura]

Well, they both would be interested, but I think Andrew would, would be like, you know, let me, let me kind of tell people how, what their protocol should be to get their proto. That's really cool. Yeah.

[Christina P]

When's the last time you had one? Do you even remember?

[Tom Segura]

No. It's been a long time. It's been a While.

[Christina P]

Yeah, like. But like I said, like, it's really important to stay conscious and stay aware because you can have one and it doesn't even reg.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

You know?

[Christina P]

Like, I could have easily just let that pass me by.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. If your mind is kind of, like, drifting off. Yeah. You don't even put it together.

[Christina P]

Yeah. You have to be vigilant about your double pipe. Classic vigilant. Yeah. Anyway. Oh, boy. Okay. How many are we gonna do?

[Tom Segura]

Holy.

[Christina P]

Annoying.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, my God.

[Christina P]

Okay. I can't believe you're gonna miss the big storm. Storm. Dad would love the storm.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Wait, should I really stock up on things? Do you think it's gonna be that?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Wine and stuff. Yeah.

[Christina P]

Cinnabon.

[Tom Segura]

Could be Cinnabons. It's really important.

[Connor]

Listen to me. Listen to me, bro.

[Tom Segura]

Let me see your phone.

[Christina P]

No.

[Tom Segura]

Let me see your phone. Look at this guy.

[Connor]

You see this?

[Tom Segura]

This is Mike, the accountant.

[Christina P]

No, I know. I know.

[Tom Segura]

This Will.

[Christina P]

Oh, you up?

[Tom Segura]

He's on my team. All this I've been doing his whole life is carrying brick concrete. He's an internal and external carpenter.

[Connor]

Dude, this guy's grip is 10 times stronger than yours and mine.

[Tom Segura]

He on my team?

[Christina P]

What team is that?

[Tom Segura]

I mean, sounds like it's. I got the free pass team. I don't know. Pretty wild, right? Yeah.

[Christina P]

This.

[Tom Segura]

Will, you up. Hey, man, I need an extension on my taxes. This is the guy to call him.

[Christina P]

He just throws races in about a week.

[Tom Segura]

I've got about six and a half.

[Christina P]

Pounds to lose before then, you know?

[Tom Segura]

How are you gonna lose six and a half, eight or nine percent body fat right now? Some people say, oh, that's what, four or five? And some of you guys that say.

[Christina P]

That you're like 10 body fat. No, you're not. I've looked at you.

[Tom Segura]

You're like 17, 18, 20%.

[Christina P]

You're not even close to under 10.

[Tom Segura]

This is about 8 or 9% body fat.

[Christina P]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Hey, man, you. Haven't I gotten back to me on my refund last. Since last year. I filed with you. Could you stop posting these videos and actually let me know what's going on from his closet?

[Christina P]

Hey, Tom, how's your fat percentage reduction going?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, it's not. It's not great, man. It's not great. I don't know what it is, but it's not great.

[Christina P]

You wanted to get down to 4%, right?

[Tom Segura]

I thought. I thought 2 to 3 would be ideal.

[Christina P]

Yeah. All right. I'm just eating too much, man. Yeah, no, I'm.

[Tom Segura]

I'm eating Too much. I did notice. What a crazy thing. Can you go to his page? Can you guys go to his page real quick? Because I saw this scrolling this week. I thought this was nuts. Keep going.

[Christina P]

I can't believe he just throws. I'm still shocked at the end. Bomb.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Throw down.

[Christina P]

Like, he just was like this guy. That's wild, dude. And he, if he did that to you in the street and he's like, this guy's grip and then he dropped that on you, like, what do you even do? What do you say? Do you correct somebody?

[Gene]

I'd say thanks.

[Tom Segura]

Appreciate you. Scroll to the top again. Earlier this week, he, he archives a lot, I think.

[Christina P]

Always.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Gene]

This week just like, oh yeah.

[Christina P]

Is that a black guy?

[Tom Segura]

What is black?

[Christina P]

Why do they do this?

[Gene]

Can't explain it, but I have the urge and I, I can't explain it, but it's just something we do, I.

[Christina P]

Don'T know, to like hide from the public what you were.

[Gene]

No, it's, it's like you're, you're.

[Tom Segura]

What's that?

[Gene]

You're like curating, you know, it's specifically what I want you to see right now. And sometimes it's nothing. That's a real black move. If you just archive everything and have a blank page for no reason. Very black thing to do.

[Tom Segura]

That's a black thing.

[Gene]

You think it's a very black thing to do. Name me one white guy that's done it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I don't, I don't know unless.

[Gene]

It'S consistently like that. Like for it to just randomly be zero like posts. But before they had a whole wall of shit. It just, it doesn't make sense. Why would you do it? And I can't explain, but I've done it before too.

[Christina P]

Can't explain black.

[Tom Segura]

I like that. You're like, these are even. There are even some black mysteries to me.

[Christina P]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gene]

You know, you know what it probably is? It's my white side.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, right, right.

[Gene]

Understand it.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, right. That's right.

[Christina P]

This is a great point. Let's go back to this guy in a minute. But may I just interject one thing? I would love to know your black opinion on Jaden Smith lately. Jaden Smith, he's been the, they, they made him the designer for what's the red bottoms Shoes. Louboutin.

[Tom Segura]

Louboutins.

[Christina P]

And I'm curious to see what the black opinion is on him because like, okay, this, his collection is really, it's inspired by the color red. So he spray painted himself red and then he made like red boots with fur on them and red, red, red, red, red. I don't know. Like, do. Do black people think he's cool or do we not like this?

[Gene]

I mean, I think. Yeah, it does look like a clown shoe. God damn it.

[Christina P]

I know. And I like his other stuff, actually, like, I think some of the stuff that he did was quite good, but I don't know. I don't think the fur, it's hard to wear.

[Tom Segura]

That's a baseball cap. That's a cap. Yeah, that's a. I mean, please buy that hat.

[Christina P]

It's $10,000.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Done.

[Gene]

I guess.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. Don't buy that hat.

[Christina P]

So expensive. No way.

[Tom Segura]

I don't like it that much.

[Gene]

Yeah, I feel bad for the kid, you know?

[Christina P]

Me too.

[Gene]

I feel bad. He's just a kid. We were all this stupid at some.

[Tom Segura]

Point, but we didn't. How old is this kid Jaden now?

[Christina P]

He's got to be like 28 by now. 27.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

He's a cutie pie.

[Gene]

Still a kid, you know?

[Tom Segura]

I know, yeah.

[Gene]

It sucks that this much tension is on him at all, but. Because, yeah, what 27 year old is going to be, I don't know, making super sick moves that everyone would agree with? It's like, you're crazy. You're still retarded.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

And I'm surprised, like, is the black community, like clowning him right now or like, are we.

[Gene]

Don't say that word.

[Christina P]

Sorry. It's black community, like making fun of him or are we, like, having mercy? That's what I'm really curious about. If you could get back to me, just talk to all the blacks, you.

[Tom Segura]

Know, and then I feel like the.

[Christina P]

Blacks let me know.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. Speaking of black eyes, we got should give a shout out. Rest in peace. This was unexpected. And it is quite sad that white folks passed away.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Hey, man, y' all know what's going on? Yeah.

Hold out, white folks, man.

You did. He died really sad. He died a few days ago. Motorcycle accident. You just don't know what you miss.

You don't know what you miss.

You don't know what you miss. Hey, you draw something, you drop something. Your mountain. Don't you talk to white folk like that.

[Christina P]

What a light. What a light.

[Tom Segura]

What a. He was a good time. Here's two black people hanging out.

[Christina P]

Well, Vicky.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Rest in peace.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Another cool guy gone. That's really sad.

[Christina P]

Yeah, that's too bad.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, well.

[Christina P]

I wonder how.

[Tom Segura]

Motorcycles, man. They're just so dangerous, bro.

[Christina P]

Yeah. And it should have been his health, that killed him. So you look at a guy like him, and you're like, he's gonna die any minute. And then.

[Tom Segura]

Well, I don't think that was really far off. But, yeah, I don't think. Look at that list.

[Christina P]

I don't know if Nadav belongs.

[Tom Segura]

Well, he passed away.

[Christina P]

No, that's right.

[Tom Segura]

That's right. Yeah.

[Christina P]

Yeah. Look at those guys.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Unk, Shine.

[Tom Segura]

It's crazy. That list is crazy. Hard Rock Nick, next to Larry King, next to Herc. Kevin Samuels, Leo, O.J. the succulent Chinese meal. The Irish drunk 10.

[Christina P]

I didn't realize.

[Tom Segura]

I thought we heard that he was dead and then that that was false.

[Christina P]

Wait a minute.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know.

[Christina P]

We've heard mixed reports, but I would believe it. No, no, not the.

[Tom Segura]

No. How would you not believe that? What part of you would doubt that?

[Christina P]

Just of all these cockroaches. I mean, that guy can outlive them. He's a drunk. They live forever.

[Tom Segura]

They do.

[Christina P]

Damn it.

[Tom Segura]

Keep living. And they never stop living.

[Christina P]

Yeah, I know. God only takes.

[Tom Segura]

Here's some funny stuff for you. I got some. Some LOLs after this sad moment.

[Christina P]

Oh, no.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, here we go.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Dog. Nuh.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Wait.

[Christina P]

Dude, that was just a basketball.

[Tom Segura]

Holy.

[Christina P]

Whatever. What's that called? Basketball thing.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that was a hoop. It looks like it was a basketball thing.

[Christina P]

And she just fell down on that.

[Tom Segura]

It looks like it's in the Philippines, maybe.

[Christina P]

Oh, that's.

[Tom Segura]

She put a lot of weight on that. They're not built to be like, hey, stand on this.

[Christina P]

She's £90.

[Tom Segura]

She's tiny, but she was bouncing. I mean, no, it should have not done that for sure. That's all rusty and shitty, but she definitely with it. Yeah. Damn, dude, that one was. That was pretty scary. I was pretty horrified by that.

[Christina P]

She seems okay. Oh, here goes a broken.

[Tom Segura]

That was unbelievable. That guy used to do that in college, you know, for sure.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

That's a dad who was like, oh, yeah. You don't know? I could do gymnastics, you know? I mean, look, he knows what he's doing.

[Christina P]

He can do it. He's got the muscle memory. But his body can't. Dude, this is like. You just can't do stuff when you're old. I can't play tennis anymore. My body's all up. Broken ankle.

[Tom Segura]

Those noises were great, though. Just for those noises. Okay.

What, dude?

[Christina P]

What the was that?

[Tom Segura]

He got up and walked away from that. No, that was a dumpster. He landed on, like, a metal dumpster. Dude. Okay.

[Christina P]

God damn it. Dude, I should have split his body in half.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, Jesus. Holy. That hurt.

[Christina P]

Ripped him in half like play doh.

[Tom Segura]

It really should have. What is this?

[Christina P]

It's a watermelon. Oh my God. Oh my. I didn't know you could do that.

[Tom Segura]

You know that. But you can't. You can. You can throw anything on someone's head. But that clearly was. Can I break this over your head? And he was like, yeah, go for it. Can I brace on your head? Yeah, yeah. Just not alcohol, man.

[Christina P]

And is it racist?

[Gene]

Oh, that's crazy. That's crazy. I see what you did.

[Tom Segura]

I mean, the question was racist?

[Gene]

That's crazy.

[Christina P]

Well, I saw it. I was like, oh, no. Is this clip racist?

[Tom Segura]

That's crazy. Yeah.

[Gene]

You know you gave that man 20 bucks too. You let me smash this on here.

[Tom Segura]

You're like, okay, all right. And you got a concussion out of it. Crazy. Well, we got a fun one for you here. Something I think you'll enjoy.

[Christina P]

Sure.

[Tom Segura]

You ready?

[Christina P]

I'm ready.

[Tom Segura]

This guy is. This guy is locked up in Indiana. Okay. And they did an interview with him in Indiana. In prison.

[Interviewer]

The first woman you killed was Karen Hadela. 44 year old woman who you'd never met. Why did you kill her?

[Tom Segura]

Just felt like it.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

I don't know.

[Tom Segura]

I mean, I didn't have to have a region.

[Interviewer]

And then you killed somebody who was a friend of your family. Your mother's friend.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Christine Whittis.

[Tom Segura]

She caught me cutting up another one, so. And then she told me she was gonna call the police.

[Interviewer]

How did you kill her?

[Tom Segura]

Strangled.

[Interviewer]

Just trying to discover whether there's any part of your mind, any part of your. I use the word loosely, humanity. Which says that this is appalling.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I don't believe I got any of that.

[Christina P]

Humanity or teeth.

[Interviewer]

You have no humanity.

[Tom Segura]

I don't think I do.

[Christina P]

The chuckle is really what.

[Tom Segura]

The chuckle's good. Yeah. Yeah.

[Interviewer]

You have no remorse at all about any of the people you murder.

[Tom Segura]

It just don't. Don't seem to affect me.

Yeah.

I mean, I could kill a person and just go out to dinner. I don't care.

He's got a little giggle again.

[Christina P]

But it, in a way. Is this not the most liberating way to be where you're just like, yeah, whatever. This is what Buddhists have been trying to get you to your whole lifetimes. To be detached.

[Tom Segura]

What an interesting take on this. Yeah, what an interesting take.

[Christina P]

Just like.

[Tom Segura]

Is this something the Buddhists would celebrate?

[Christina P]

He's not attached. He's totally detached.

[Tom Segura]

He's like, I could do that just. And go to dinner. Yeah.

The only time I ever got any kind of feeling about it at all was the rush I got when I was doing it.

[Christina P]

Oh, yeah, that feels nice.

[Interviewer]

I bet you got an adrenaline rush from killing people.

[Tom Segura]

I guess it was more than that, too. I mean, I got a kick out of cutting them up.

[Interviewer]

I mean, you get a kick out of cutting them up?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Seemed like after the first one, it just got good to me, you know?

Yeah.

At first I was kind of nervous about it, but then after the first.

One, I was like, you know what? He went from becoming an amateur to a professional. I understand that.

[Christina P]

10,000 hours, that's what it takes.

[Tom Segura]

Remember the first time you played tennis and you're like.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And then all of a sudden, you learn to turn over the racket, right? You turn it over, let the momentum take you, like, hey, this is fun. It's not that different, you know?

[Christina P]

No, no. You just, like. You have to let yourself enjoy it, too, this thing. You know what I mean? Like, he's so free. I don't think I'll ever be this free from my emotions.

[Tom Segura]

I don't think you'll ever be this free. Most of us will never be this free. No women?

I mean, they was men, too. I just didn't find none of them. I didn't tell them about none of them.

So he's like, I killed men, too.

[Interviewer]

So you killed the greater number of people than the police know?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah.

[Christina P]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. They might have a chance of it. I'll put it that way.

[Interviewer]

So you may have killed 29, 30 people?

[Tom Segura]

Yep.

[Interviewer]

Are you prepared now to tell the authorities where those bodies are buried?

[Tom Segura]

No.

[Interviewer]

No, you never will, stupid.

[Tom Segura]

No, I'm not going back. Going through all that court stuff. No, it's not gonna do it.

Yeah, court sucks.

[Christina P]

Too much red tape.

[Interviewer]

Any sense of remorse?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Done.

[Christina P]

A lot of bad.

[Tom Segura]

I'm right where I belong. Believe me, they don't want me out.

Yeah, well, I just thought that'd be a fun thing to. You know.

[Christina P]

The chuckle is really cool.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

You know, it's really interesting, though, that it is always this type of guy you're getting when they're serial killers. Like, there's only one personality type, one physical makeup. They all look like him. What is this white guy? This is a white guy thing.

[Tom Segura]

It is a white guy thing. It is a white guy thing.

[Christina P]

Like a dork, usually friendly white guy thing.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know how friendly he is, but they're usually from you know, a certain socioeconomic background, there's usually some neglect. They're usually. Yeah. Have some abuse in their background. And there's a. There's this antisocial thing that starts pretty young with them.

[Christina P]

Yeah, but only white guys feel entitled enough to cut up other people maybe. Is that what this is?

[Tom Segura]

Well, here's the thing. This is why you got to support white owned businesses, okay? Because these are the kinds of guys that feel like you didn't support their business, you know? And then it's kind of one way to get you back.

[Christina P]

It's white. White privilege.

[Tom Segura]

Well, that was so dark. Let's. This is something that'll make you smile.

[Christina P]

I hate those fucking assholes. This is laughter's laugh.

[Tom Segura]

Do you like more? Whose laugh do you like more? Do you like. Or do you like.

[Christina P]

Serial killer all day? Because a serial killer is real. This is like when you. This is like when you go to an alt comedy show and you hear those people that are laughing extra hard and loud to show you that they're smart enough to get the joke. That's not actually funny, but that's smart, you know?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's.

[Christina P]

This is fake. I hate that. You. You nerd.

[Tom Segura]

Nerd.

[Christina P]

I hate these dorks, dude.

[Tom Segura]

I know.

[Christina P]

How dare they try to make themselves happy without alcohol or drugs or.

[Tom Segura]

This would make me very up. This would. This might turn me into a serial killer. If you took me to laughter yoga, I might leave there and just kill somebody. This amuses me.

[Christina P]

I hated that.

[Tom Segura]

Look at this. Look at this. Okay? We should do this to my mom. Okay? He shaped the toilet paper, covered it with the nestle.

[Christina P]

I love this so much.

[Tom Segura]

Should we do that to Charo?

[Christina P]

I love to. You should do it, but set it up at Chicho Bomba so that they give it to her there. Oh, my God.

[Tom Segura]

And they're like, this is fish from the oven. Hey, Tommy, I told me it tastes like paper.

[Christina P]

Drink your water.

[Tom Segura]

All right, I gotta get going.

[Christina P]

Gene, now what are you gonna do today? What do you got?

[Tom Segura]

This is our final official prep day, so there's a bunch of to do. And then I have rehear. I got rehearsal over the weekend.

[Christina P]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

And then we start Monday morning.

[Christina P]

Dang, homie. Okay, Very excited, very amazed. We're gonna batten down the hatches. Is that the radius? I don't even know what that. Batten down? Is that how you say it? I feel like I've never said that out loud.

[Tom Segura]

Sinton the chincha.

[Christina P]

You say, we're gonna do that and we're gonna batten down the hatches.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

You nailed it.

[Christina P]

Yeah. Secure a ship's hat.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

We're gonna hopefully survive this storm. I'll let you know we're alive by the end of the weekend.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, well, make sure you stop and don't get water. Don't get, like, toilet paper. Don't get, like, canned goods. Get wine. Get some donuts. Get. Yeah. Cinnamon rolls. Get some tequila.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Porosos we have at the house, so don't worry.

[Christina P]

Oh, yes, we do. We do. All right. I love you, jeans. Good luck.

[Tom Segura]

All right. Love you. See you guys. Bye. Ciao, Sam.