Taking Kendall Toole For A Spin | YMH Ep. 781

Summary

**Podcast Summary: Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Episode: Taking Kendall Toole For A Spin | YMH Ep. 781
Release Date: October 16, 2024

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1. Introduction and Recent Activities ([02:05] - [03:49])

Tom Segura kicks off the episode with his characteristic humor:

"Pull your pants up over your eyeballs. It's time for another episode of your mom's house." ([02:05])

He expresses excitement about a recent collaboration involving Chef John Segura, highlighting the team's effort to bring innovative talent to the show:

"Everybody here did such a great job. You guys did an awesome job." ([03:49])

2. Culinary Creativity with Chef John Segura ([03:49] - [07:16])

Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura delve into their experience with Chef John Segura, focusing on his groundbreaking recipes and culinary techniques.

Christina shares enthusiasm for Chef John's "John Segura" dish:

"The John Zigura consists of... three lemons over all of that. Listen to me. Your palate comes alive." ([05:16])

Tom adds humor while discussing the dish's complexity:

"You're a real one. Like, you're a real g." ([36:35])

They highlight the unique combination of ingredients and the chef's fearless approach to flavor:

"She does things that have never been done before, and truly, truly remarkable." ([04:00])

3. Public Perceptions and Body Image: The Camel Toe Discussion ([16:27] - [22:25])

The hosts transition to a social commentary on body image, specifically addressing the phenomenon of camel toe in athletic wear.

Christina initiates the conversation:

"But Aaron and I were talking about camel toe and how, like, when we were growing up, it's shameful." ([17:47])

Tom counters with a humorous take, emphasizing the shift in societal attitudes:

"I don't think girls are purposefully showing it. I think they are. Look at Annie." ([17:57])

They discuss the balance between shock value and genuine allure, debating whether such trends are intentional or inadvertent:

"It's better in a fantasy. Like, yeah, you saw it in one of those Instagram profiles that like, fakes like, it's not porn, but it's like, this is porn." ([18:23])

4. Personal Health Journeys: Invisalign and Radiation ([19:50] - [25:06])

Tom and Christina share personal anecdotes about their health struggles, including Invisalign treatment and radiation therapy.

Tom vents about the discomfort of removing Invisalign:

"I just got my Invisalign taken off. And I gotta tell you, it's a bitch. Sucks." ([84:43])

Christina sympathetically responds, though she hasn't experienced radiation herself:

"I cannot relate to radiation. I... I'm not gonna say I wish I could." ([84:50])

They discuss the physical and emotional toll of these treatments, emphasizing resilience and support.

5. Guest Introduction: Kendall Toole ([36:17] - [51:50])

Kendall Toole joins the podcast, sharing her inspiring journey from battling depression to becoming a fitness advocate.

Kendall opens up about her darkest moments:

"I was suicidal my senior year of college. Almost took my own life." ([38:37])

She explains the pivotal moment when her mother's relentless support prevented her from taking permanent measures:

"I climbed back over. My mom was calling me 15, 16 times in a row. She just knew something was wrong." ([40:53])

Tom and Christina commend her resilience:

"I think it's such a testament to the timing I had for myself." ([43:03])

6. Fitness and Mental Health Advocacy ([36:17] - [51:50])

Kendall discusses her transition into the fitness industry, highlighting the therapeutic benefits of exercise in overcoming mental health challenges.

Kendall shares her experience with Peloton and boxing:

"I never taught a cycling class before. Peloton, seriously, I never taught one. I lied. I said I did." ([45:27])

Christina emphasizes the authenticity Kendall brings to her fitness classes:

"There are some body types, too, that, like, are different. Like, if you look at an Olympic weightlifter, they're going to be built bigger and different." ([53:09])

They explore the emotional and physical demands of being a fitness instructor, underscoring the importance of genuine connection and motivation.

7. Social Media and Body Positivity ([56:27] - [57:20])

The conversation shifts to the impact of diet and nutrition on overall well-being, with Kendall advocating for clean eating and sustainable farming practices.

Kendall explains her approach to healthy cooking:

"I grew up with an Italian mom and I love my cheese and I love my pasta, but if I can make it a little healthier, I will." ([56:08])

Tom echoes the necessity of being mindful about food sources:

"You have to be thoughtful of where you get the ingredients." ([57:20])

8. Humorous Skits and Interactions ([60:00] - [91:43])

The episode takes a comedic turn with improvised skits and humorous interactions involving fictional characters like Will. These segments parody various social scenarios, blending absurdity with the hosts' sharp wit.

Tom pokes fun at a character seeking romantic connections:

"My name is John Lyu. Shipman. I'm looking for girls for pussy. I'd love to eat pussy." ([32:44])

Christina and Tom engage in playful banter, highlighting the exaggerated stereotypes and social awkwardness:

"Dance for you. Do a dance for you." ([93:07])

These skits serve to entertain while subtly commenting on societal norms and personal insecurities.

9. Conclusion and Final Thoughts ([91:44] - [95:53])

As the episode winds down, the hosts reflect on the themes discussed, reinforcing the importance of authenticity, resilience, and self-care.

Christina encourages embracing one's journey:

"Self-love is truly the only love." ([64:09])

Tom emphasizes consistency and dedication in personal growth:

"It's really about every day." ([55:36])

The episode concludes with light-hearted farewells and continued camaraderie among the hosts, leaving listeners with a blend of humor and heartfelt insights.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Tom Segura on resilience:

  "Pull your pants up over your eyeballs. It's time for another episode of your mom's house." ([02:05])

• Christina Pazsitzky on Chef John's innovation:

  "Your palate comes alive." ([05:16])

• Kendall Toole on her mental health struggle:

  "I was suicidal my senior year of college. Almost took my own life." ([38:37])

• Tom Segura on personal health challenges:

  "I just got my Invisalign taken off. And I gotta tell you, it's a bitch. Sucks." ([84:43])

• Christina Pazsitzky on self-love:

  "Self-love is truly the only love." ([64:09])

Insights and Takeaways

• Authenticity in Fitness: Kendall's journey underscores the therapeutic role of fitness in overcoming personal struggles. Her genuine approach to teaching fosters a supportive environment for others.

• Body Image and Society: The discussion on camel toe highlights evolving societal norms around body visibility and the fine line between shock value and intentional allure.

• Mental Health Advocacy: The hosts and guest emphasize the importance of seeking help and the impact of supportive relationships in navigating mental health challenges.

• Nutrition and Sustainability: Kendall advocates for mindful eating, promoting awareness of food sources and sustainable farming practices to enhance overall well-being.

• Humor as Coping: The comedic skits illustrate how humor can be a tool for addressing and diffusing societal taboos and personal insecurities.

Conclusion

Episode 781 of "Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura" offers a blend of humor, heartfelt storytelling, and social commentary. Through engaging dialogues and the inspiring story of Kendall Toole, the hosts shed light on the complexities of mental health, the transformative power of fitness, and the ever-evolving landscape of societal norms. The episode serves as both an entertaining and insightful listen for fans seeking depth beneath the comedic surface.

Transcript

[A]

Last week we went on sale with the next leg of my 2025 tour dates both in the US and Europe. Tickets are available now for my November shows. November 8th in San Diego, California at Pechanga Arena. November 9th in Phoenix, Arizona at the Footprint Center. I also announced a few rescheduled dates. Richmond, Virginia is now Friday, January 10th. Norfolk, Virginia is now Saturday, January 11th. Mount Pleasant, Michigan is now Sunday, January 19th and St. Louis, Missouri is now Friday, May 16th and Saturday, May 17th. If you had tickets to the original dates, it will be honored for the rescheduled shows. If you can't make the rescheduled dates, refunds will be issued from your point of purchase. Tickets and all tour dates are on sale right [e-mail] tour well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.

[B]

I love a great deal as much as the next guy, but I'm not going to crawl through a bed of hot coals just to save a few bucks. It has to be easy. So when Mint Mobile said it was easy to get wireless for 15amonth with the purchase of a three month plan, I call them on it. Turns out it really is that easy to get wireless for 15 bucks a month. We use Mint Mobile at the studio and I'm telling you, it really was super easy to get set up with them. To get this new customer offer and your new three month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mint mobile.com mom that's mint mobile.com mom cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com mom $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three month plan only speeds slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details.

[A]

Pull your pants up over your eyeballs. It's time for another episode of your mom's house. As always, I'm so happy to welcome my co host, Christine.

[B]

Christine Ginza.

[A]

How are you? I'm good.

[B]

John Segura. It's good to see you again.

[A]

It's good to see you. What's been going on?

[B]

Well, you know, I'm still recovering, reeling, basking in the afterglow. That is fancy. Chef.

[A]

It was unbelievable. It was really unbelievable.

[B]

There was so much excitement leading up to his being here. And then when he was here, we were all in a frenzy. Yeah, we really were. Everybody was like texting me, like, what are you getting here? Well, you got to get here.

[A]

It's the only time we've ever identified a unique Talent online.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Found somebody. And the, the time from identifying to having the person on the show was like, it was highly concentrated.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You know, I mean, like, there's been times we've played people where you go like, oh, yeah. And then it's like two years go by, and then we finally have somebody find that person in the wild or something, you know, but, like, this was. Identify the person a lot. I got it also, because I know the people at home were like, that is the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life. And I feel the same way. I want to give credit to this incredible staff here because they worked really hard, first of all, just to get him to answer one of his three lines. Coordinating the travel and then preparing everything that a fancy chef requires to. Oh, yeah, you know, come and, and cook at a place. So kudos to you guys.

[B]

You did.

[A]

Everybody here did such a great job. You guys did an awesome job.

[B]

I mean, it was outdoor stoves.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, we had to be ready for him to do what he does best, which is cook.

[A]

Yeah. And we all were just blown away at the innovation and the creativity and as he said, things that have never been done before, and truly, truly, truly remarkable. First time things were done that. Yeah.

[B]

Well, let's recap, because I've been dreaming about his cream sauce that he put on the pasta.

[A]

Oh, you mean the John Segura. That's the name of that dish.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So for those of you. I mean, I'm sure we have the recipe have probably been posted. Yeah, we should do that. You know, the. Where you show them how to make it. But the John Zigura consists of. First you make scallops, and you let those kind of chill for a couple hours. Then you get shrimp, and you cook those. And then as the pasta sits, you let the pasta sit. Usually like it to kind of, you know, want it to cool down and kind of just chill for a couple hours. Then in a. In a, In a saucepan, you do three large spoonfuls of butter, about half a bottle of extra virgin olive oil, two cartons of heavy creamer, half a bottle of red wine. Just pick any one you want. And then half a bottle of champagne. This is such an extraordinary flavor, believe me.

[B]

Hold on. You forgot the two jars of ready made pesto.

[A]

Oh, my God. How could I forget that? You put the two jars of pesto in, and then at the very end, when you go, what can make this even better? You squeeze three lemons over all of that. Listen to me. Your palate comes Alive. I have. I'm friends with a number of chefs. I've been telling them about this, and they are all saying the same thing. What the fuck are you talking about? Because they don't. They've never heard of anything like that.

[B]

Well, they've never had innovation like that. These guys now, what's neat about. And a lot of people, you know, you're just watching. I wish we could have taste division so the audience could taste what we tasted. When I took a bite of my shrimp. Alcohol. Heavy.

[A]

So much alcohol.

[B]

So much alcohol. But I liked it because I got a buzz just off of one bite of shrimp, which is cool.

[A]

Some people think, oh, if there's an overpowering taste of something, let's say alcohol, that this is poorly made.

[B]

No.

[A]

But not if that is the purpose of that.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Not if you're an alcoholic. And then it's a. It's a dream dish.

[A]

It's so good that you go, holy. I feel drunk. I feel like. I feel like I'm eating food that's just been soaked in booze. And then you go, but. Yeah, but that was. That's the con. You gotta open your. Basically, you're boring. Is what I'm trying to tell you. And then you.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

Try these things. And you go, oh, shit. Okay.

[B]

And also for those pussies out there who are like, I only eat olive oil or I only do butter or not both. Who don't like to mix the oil.

[A]

Mix butter, oil, and heavy creamer.

[B]

That's awesome. And the pesto. Don't forget the pesto is also in oil as well.

[A]

Right. It sits in an oil base. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of oil. But here's the other thing. What if you're constipated? Guess what? Not after the John Segr, you're not.

[B]

That's just probably why he did it again.

[A]

He's everywhere.

[B]

Brilliant.

[A]

Because he maybe have heard you talking previously on an episode about being constipated.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

Being like, I'm having. And then met. What if he was just like, oh, that's right.

[B]

Can I tell you something? What's interesting? I haven't been constipated in a while.

[A]

Maybe it's because you ate the John Segura.

[B]

That's definitely the John Segura. Also, not taking the Ozempic for the last couple three months.

[A]

That's probably cool, too.

[B]

I think there's a link between Ozempics and.

[A]

You look great.

[B]

Thanks.

[A]

You look great.

[B]

Thanks, kid.

[A]

Your hair looks good.

[B]

Thanks. I did it for you. And I'm wearing a goth tuxedo shirt.

[A]

Look at that shirt.

[B]

Do you love it?

[A]

It's so ruffled.

[B]

Can I tell you something?

[A]

What?

[B]

When I was goth.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Growing up, we'd have to go to vintage clothing stores and buy authentic.

[A]

That's very cool.

[B]

Tuxedo shirts.

[A]

I think it looks great.

[B]

From the seventies. But listen.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They would all smell because there were some dudes. Tuxedo shirt, of course. 70s. And so I would have to suffer through the bad smells. But now they're cool again.

[A]

It's very cool.

[B]

Thanks, pal.

[A]

And what about the necklace?

[B]

This is a goth item I bought on Etsy. I do all my goth jewelry shopping on Etsy.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[B]

And the nails, too. Which. I'm going to tell you the story about that. Now. What about you? Are you in a festive mood? Is that why you're wearing your black tee and your khakis or what? What is this mood for you? You tell me. Your inspiration board.

[A]

I mean, it wasn't an inspiration board. It's just, you know, gotta go. I'm busy.

[B]

That's what this look is.

[A]

Yeah. I had just. Yeah. Not a lot of thought went into it. It was just, grab a shirt, go. Do I mean, you know.

[B]

No, I know. Because, like, last week you were like, I'm so happy. I'm in a good mood. Yeah.

[A]

We're bright colors.

[B]

Wore cream.

[A]

Cream? Yeah.

[B]

Off white.

[A]

It was very bright.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Everybody said that except for you. Everybody's like, you look festive today.

[B]

Do you ever. He wears white normally. Yeah. Like, doesn't Tom wear kind of cream? White, Gray. Those are your yellow.

[A]

I wear yellow shirts.

[B]

Never.

[A]

All the time. He can pull up clips of me wearing yellow shirts.

[B]

Yellow and yellow with two bears, maybe. Not with. Not with me.

[A]

I've done it, too. But you know what? It just shows. You don't pay attention. No, that's the difference. Why don't we play an opener for the show? Ready? Here we go. Hey, ladies. If you like a guy who will give your lower lips lots of loving, I'm your man.

[B]

That's what you chose?

[A]

Don't bring anyone. What's wrong with that? Well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura Z and Christina P. P. Welcome to mom's house.

[B]

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. I feel you in my jeans, Mr.

[A]

Sitting on the couch.

[B]

Please don't molest me. I don't want to sleep God.

[A]

I'm your man.

[B]

Why did you have to bum me out with him? I was having the best time.

[A]

I'm having a better time now, but I'm not.

[B]

I don't like these cool guys.

[A]

I love these guys.

[B]

They're like, I'm gonna eat your box.

[A]

And like, your.

[B]

Why does it make you so happy?

[A]

I don't know. It's cool, I guess. It's just cool.

[B]

Is it cool?

[A]

Yeah. I like when they're like this. You know why I. Like, someone's not scared to be sexy.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

All right.

[A]

He's not holding.

[B]

Wait, I saw a clip of Bert telling you that he and Leanne are dirty talking in bed.

[A]

No, he's. Yeah, well, he's like, I like. I like a little dirty talk. I was like, what do you say? He's like, I can't. I can't.

[C]

I can't.

[A]

Just. What do you say? He's like, ew. Like, whose pussy is this?

[B]

Ew. Yeah, that's kind of. But see, that's like a dumb guy thing to say.

[A]

Like, whose pussy is this? Yeah. You think we're talking about a physicist talking about Bert.

[B]

He's like, I'm confused.

[A]

This is my. Yeah, of course.

[B]

Yeah. Because I can't imagine him doing that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what I mean? I can't imagine him. It's. I just. He's like a brother to me, but whatever.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I can't. I can't. Hey, this. This brings me into a question.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You have to look at me.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Pay attention. It's very important. Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I was hanging out with Duncan's wife, Aaron.

[A]

The.

[B]

This last weekend, we were talking about what dudes like. And I want you to be very honest with me and I won't be upset. I'm not going to get jellies. I'm not going to be weird. You can tell me the truth. No, no. I'm going to ask you something, and then you tell me whether or not I like you. Really like it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But again, don't.

[A]

Don't be.

[B]

Don't be weird. I'm not going to hold it against you.

[A]

I'm closing my eyes so that I don't make judgments based on your. Look, I'll just tell you honestly.

[B]

Okay. Okay. So Aaron and I were out and we saw this girl wearing, like, the Lululemon, you know, tight pants, the. Whatever that shit's called. The athletic leggings. Leggings. Yeah. And Aaron was like, oh, my God. Like, you can see their pussies. And I'VE asked Duncan whether or not he likes it, and Duncan said that he doesn't. And look, I don't think Duncan lies. But I. I don't know that you're gonna tell your wife that it excites you sexually, but you'll tell me because you don't have that level of concern for my feelings or you don't care. You know what I mean? Like, you're way worser to me than Duncan probably is to Erin. They're newly. They're like newlyweds. Do you know what I mean?

[A]

They're newlyweds.

[B]

We've been together for a thousand years. Okay, so just tell me the truth. When you see the Lululemon girl and you can see her lips through the. The leggings.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

What. What does that do?

[A]

Who? Like who? What's she look like?

[B]

That's a big factor.

[A]

It's a huge factor. Of course it is.

[B]

But hold on.

[A]

So is that. So is everything, by the way.

[B]

So hold on. So if it's a pig. Well, hold on. If. How about this? Yeah, she's a normal, nice, nice, weighted, fit, fit gal. Just a fit gal.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you have to see the face before you look at the pussy lips or.

[A]

Okay, well. Because I didn't think you were going here, because the thing that usually, I think most men minds go to when you talk about these types of pants, it's the ass. Because the pants, actually, this is why they exploded in popularity. The pants give the wearer a better ass.

[B]

True story.

[A]

So if you were going to say, do you like the way it looks on their ass? Absolutely. Yeah, it looks great.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do I. I don't notice. Usually lips, as you said on. On those. I see the ass, but if you.

[B]

See the lips, does it arouse you? Does it disgust you?

[A]

No, I think more than anything, you're just alarmed seeing a cooch in public. You're just like, Jesus. I mean, you're just like. Are you. No, you're not like, God. That's.

[B]

Why. Don't know. There's some pigs in the booth.

[A]

I don't think seeing seeing a puss in public is not generally like. That's what I'm talking about right there. It's usually like, dude, are you seeing this? That's what that is.

[B]

Because. Right, so it's.

[A]

It's genitals. It's not like. You know what I mean? Like, the ass. It's the shape. Right? Just like breasts. You just see a shape and you're just like, oh, that's sex.

[B]

That it's the insinuation of what's and.

[A]

You actually want them. They're covered.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's, there's something mysterious there. It's not exposed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you go, that's sexy. Right. But like, same thing. If you were like, this woman's topless, like, do you like it? I'd be like, I guess. Also, she's naked. This is weird. We're in public, a chill in the air, leaves falling to the ground, and football every weekend. That's what fall is all about. You can make each weekend even more exciting by getting into the action with my partners at DraftKings, the number one place to bet on touchdowns. And now right now, all new customers who bet $5 will instantly get $200 in bonus bets. Download the DraftKings sportsbook app and sign up using my promo Code Mom. The crown is yours. That's $200 in bonus bets instantly. Stay in on the action and use your $200 in bonus bets to bet anytime touchdowns on DraftKings. If sports betting is not yet available in your state, don't worry, you can still join in on the all the fun with DraftKings Daily Fantasy and have the shot to win cash prizes. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now. New customers use my promo code MOM and bet just $5 on any wager and get $200 in bonus bets instantly. That's promo code MOM only at DraftKings Sportsbook gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER in New York, call 877-8-OPENY or text Hopeny 467-369 In Connecticut, help is available. For problem gam, call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org Please play responsibly on behalf of Boothill Casino and Resort in Kansas, 21 and over. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void. In Ontario, bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance.

[C]

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[A]

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[B]

But Aaron and I were talking about camel toe and how, like when we were growing up. It's shameful.

[A]

I don't think it. I think it's laughable and more shock value than it is enticing.

[B]

But nowadays girls like, it's okay to have camel. Is it a thing to have camel toe? Josh Solo, you're 25.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I don't think girls are purposefully showing it. I think they are.

[A]

Really.

[B]

Look at Annie. Look at Annie. They're showing their lips on purpose to get dudes to check them out. Yeah.

[A]

It's such an extreme, though. It's such.

[B]

It's so Annie, school my husband, because he's a thousand years old, school me.

[A]

I mean, I'm sure, you know, they definitely exist, but I feel like it's one of those things that's like, better in a fantasy. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, you saw it in one of those Instagram profiles that like, fakes like, it's not porn, but it's like, this is porn.

[B]

I like it there too, because I'll be like, oh, that's. What's that?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you figure it out. But again, it's the mystery of, like, what's that? And then you get.

[A]

And also, he's right, because in a photo, it's a still image, right? And you're like, she know. Wait, you know, you're doing the game and that's enticing. In public, if you walk around and you literally see a cooch, you're, you're, you're kind of. You're just gonna go like. Like, this is insane. That's what it is.

[B]

I know.

[A]

You also think this woman's mentally ill. You're not like, oh, she's probably cool. You're like, this woman's fucking crazy. Of course, if she's walking around with her pussy lips, like sticking out, you're not like, yeah, she's probably preaching.

[B]

That's the side Effect of the Lululemon leggings is that if you. I'm telling you, if you pull them up too high and then you. Oh, you got Jeroughi in there.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Yeah. How many are there in your mouth right now? Because it looks a little puffy.

[A]

4.

[B]

4. There's more room now without that Invisalign.

[A]

I have. I'm telling you. I remember when my father said this about multiple myeloma. I've been to the mountain top and back now. I've been to the top and I know where it can go. That has been.

[B]

So it's been real. But you're free now.

[A]

And I got a lot of support. I want to thank everybody. I got a lot of support from people who are informing people like you who have never experienced anything like it. How rough it can be to get Invisalign. How rough it can be to get them off.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And by the way, the maintenance. You know what I have to do every fucking night? I sleep with a retainer now.

[B]

You're such a child. That's so gay.

[A]

That's way crazier than what you're doing. It is.

[B]

I know. Radiation is like. It's.

[A]

So how long does radiation last?

[B]

Well, I go five days. A day?

[A]

How long does it last?

[B]

Ten minutes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm sleeping with this shit eight hours a night. And you're like, oh, mine's worse. I don't think so.

[B]

So speaking of, I went to this morning before this to do radiation. You gotta listen.

[A]

I'm listening.

[B]

So there's the waiting room, the green room before. Yeah. And it's all oldies.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the magazines are so suck. It's like, there's one Good Housekeeping.

[A]

Bad magazines are the worst. I know.

[B]

And there's one like French Southern Living. And I'm like, wouldn't it be funny if I could just bring in some Playboys? Because there's a lot of dudes there and just see what happens.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, what would you want old people.

[A]

To read, by the way? Look at that message.

[B]

Just got word from girls in the office. They all say camel toe is embarrassing and not on purpose. But those are good girls that we work with. Those are good girls. Normal good girls. Fair enough. I'm talking about whores.

[A]

Yeah, but all whore behavior is like. It's. It's a.

[B]

But I'm saying in the horror world. Aaron told me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That do that. They should.

[A]

Sure. But those are. I mean, are you talking about hoes?

[B]

Are you talking a new phenomenon? But I'm saying camel toe was a shameful thing. Thing. And now it's kind of. It is, like, out there.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because of the Lululemon pants. I'm telling you.

[A]

I'm telling you, more men are into seeing a great ass than being like, oh, I hope I can see her puss through those pants.

[B]

Can I have to admit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When I see either someone's dick and balls through their pants or their. Anybody's genitals with the women, I. It's like a special treat. Like a dark treat. Like what you were saying where you're like, woo, I didn't want that. But I'm. It's fun. Like, that's something to think about. You know what I mean?

[A]

To think about.

[B]

It's like a. Like, I didn't want that. I didn't know I wanted it until I got it. And I'm like, that's funny.

[A]

It's funny.

[B]

Yeah. Like, don't you kind of like seeing an inappropriate thing?

[A]

Yeah, I love seeing inappropriate things.

[B]

It's the best.

[A]

Well, yeah, that's. That's kind of what I'm saying. If you see a puss in public, like you're talking about, the thing you're gonna do is be alarmed. And then you want to find other people to tell, of course. So you're just like, hey, hey, hey. Don't you remember the dad?

[B]

Yes, of course I remember kindergarten.

[A]

And I talked about him.

[B]

Of course, the whole community knew about him.

[A]

You see, in this guy's dick, right.

[B]

Now, for instance, your son Ellis and I, we were out in public, and we saw this lady who was wearing a tank top that was the same color as her skin, so it looked like she was wearing nothing.

[A]

Like, yeah, skin tone.

[B]

And both of us, we were like, whoa. And I was like, is that. Is she wearing a naked shirt? Like, what is that? And the other day, he's like, I saw her again. She wasn't naked. I know what color her skin is now. Like, he gave me an update, like, weeks later. It was so cute.

[A]

He remembered.

[B]

Like, he really. It resonated. And I'm so happy to pass that along to my son to start judging strangers.

[A]

So how often are you staring at Cox in public?

[B]

Well, only if they present themselves. I'm not staring all the time.

[A]

How does a cock present itself when.

[B]

A gentleman wears sweatpants?

[A]

Sweatpants.

[B]

When I go to a basketball game with you.

[A]

This has happened once in five years.

[B]

I know, but that's what I'm saying.

[A]

Well, I'm saying, like, biker shorts. That seems like A dick.

[B]

Wearing that one's a little too blatant. Oh, I liked it at the Olympics when that guy pole vaulted. And the whole world, like, that was amazing.

[A]

And the diver.

[B]

The diver, amazing. But I don't like to see the actual genitals. Like, remember we were in Florida on the beach, and that man.

[A]

Oh, his balls were hanging.

[B]

I didn't like. I don't like to see them.

[A]

It's the shape.

[B]

The shape. The hint of. Oh, what's. What's that?

[A]

Oh, that's what I'm talking. This is what asses and tits are.

[B]

And then it goes too far. It goes too far.

[A]

It's the same thing.

[B]

Yeah, it's the same thing.

[A]

What about, like, jean?

[B]

Like, that's fun. I love that. And I like that in Europe because they tend to wear tighter jeans. They definitely wear tight, especially in Eastern Europe. And you can really see what's happening down there.

[A]

You know exactly. Who's packing meat.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And then I see you talking a little longer to the person. I'm like, hey, what are you doing? And you're like, I just. He's from here. It's just so interesting to learn about.

[B]

Whose is this? Whose is this?

[A]

It's.

[B]

It definitely.

[A]

How can you never say.

[B]

We'Ve been together too long? Babe, I know the answers.

[A]

Okay. You want to come hard?

[B]

Oh, no, I don't want. Why are you doing sexuals today?

[A]

Waft that up there. Get a whiff.

[B]

Stop, stop. Okay, thanks. Okay, got it. Next clip, please.

[A]

Okay. You don't like energy, that's fine.

[B]

What if I put the Good Housekeeping cover on a pornographic magazine?

[A]

That'd be rad.

[B]

That'd be really funny.

[A]

Yeah, that would be rad.

[B]

Some old people are friendly. Most of them aren't chatty at all. It's a little bummer. What happens to you when you get old? Just don't want to talk to anybody.

[A]

I think it makes sense, you know, why you're. In a general sense, you're just tired.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

You know, I mean, like, if right now, if you're tired, I'm like, do you want to do this? And do you want to do that? You go, no. You want to go to dinner with these people? No, I'm tired. Yeah, but what if your whole day is tired? All. Every day sucks. They're just tired.

[B]

I know. That's my enemy, though. I don't want to be tired all the time.

[A]

Nobody does. But I'm saying that's what. When you're seeing someone who's like, 80. And they're like, oh, God. Just fucking. That's why they always nap. They fall asleep in every chair because they're ready to die. You're just getting ready to die.

[B]

But. But then you see those fit people that are 80 and they don't.

[A]

There's the fucking.

[B]

You gotta be fit.

[A]

You just answered the whole formula.

[B]

I know. You gotta be fair. I know. I know.

[A]

As you know, few things I think you would agree, give me more joy than a black guy speaking aggressively. This has been.

[B]

I know.

[A]

This entire time you've known me. And especially when it's in the sports world. And I have a clip here that put a smile on my face this morning. This is a Little League football coach. These kids are 10. This is a travel football team called the Firehawks. And coaches getting ready for the game. First play, y'all knock a loose. Do you hear me? Starting off, none of that. Some. If so sit your punk ass over there. Do you hear me? Fire this up and tear their ass up, man. Line it up nice. That's what's up, man.

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

I get so God when it's related to football, too. It just. It puts me in the best mood. You're saying what puts a smile on my face? Sure, it's a nice ass in a pair of Lululemon leggings, but this makes me even happier. Knock a motherfucker shit loose. I think it's the greatest. I really wish I'd had a Little League coach like this.

[B]

Hey, yeah, for sure. Then you'd win. But this is what makes winners.

[A]

Yeah. And there's also parents out there that are crying. I actually. I cry when I see the opposite style, Coach. Just get out there and have some fun.

[B]

Because it's okay if you don't win or lose.

[A]

Nobody's about guys just being active.

[B]

No, it's not.

[A]

And playing a game, losers knock a loose. That's what it's about.

[B]

This is how the losers are made.

[A]

Banging, of course. Whack.

[B]

You know, I tell my children, I do Soviet mom regime regimens on them, too. And I say, what do you want to be? Warrior? Or you want to be crybaby American? I raise you to be strong like Eastern European. Yeah, same thing. I talk to them. I don't scream like that. But I tell them, you want me? You want to be an American pussy boy?

[A]

You should try screaming like this. See what happens. Actually, I've done it. They don't like it that much.

[B]

No, they don't like that. But I'll tell you, it's true, though, that you can't be like, super. I'll give you an example. The last few months, I've been, like, more tired, so I don't do as much as a mom. And I went to this trampoline park with the boys, and I've noticed some moms like to get in the ball pit with the kids and be a part. I'm like, what are you doing? This is your one chance for them to off and you get some quiet time. You know what I'm saying? And Julian was like, mommy, come with me. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no.

[A]

You go, you go, you go.

[B]

I don't want to go. I'm scared. Go.

[A]

Yeah, you'll figure it out.

[B]

Figure it out. And he did.

[A]

Scared in a second.

[B]

No. And he had the best time. And that's. And they're happier because I'm ignoring them more. I'm happier because I'm ignoring them. The worst mother I am. The happier everybody is in the public setting.

[A]

I know. You see these fucking dilettantes, right?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Hey. Every second they're hovering and you're like, God, what's up, rookie? Yeah, take a seat. Go buy us some fucking coffee. You're. You're new here.

[B]

This is. This is why you take them to a playground? To ignore them?

[A]

Yeah, go play.

[B]

Play with them. The are you doing?

[A]

Get some scratches, get bruises.

[B]

Our kids, we went for ice cream yesterday. We were at the playground and our two boys were on the floor wrestling each other. We were like, this is why you have two. They off the entertaining.

[A]

And you're like, yeah, yeah, all right, take it easy. Don't kill.

[B]

Who cares? And I have a rule. Whoever makes the other person cry is the one that gets punished. Yeah, you don't get punished until somebody cries.

[A]

When someone cries, then you're like, that's it.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Shit's getting taken away.

[B]

This is right what I want.

[A]

I didn't do anything.

[B]

But this is my favorite too, is.

[A]

That kids go, I didn't do anything. And you're like, why is he crying? Yeah, I guess I hit him kind of hard. Okay, that is what you did. Cool. I'm always looking for nutritious options to add to my routine. And I finally found one that tastes amazing and it isn't super expensive. Our next sponsor, organ makes it so easy to do just that. Organ is the leader in real protein powered nutrition that understands that being good for you doesn't have to taste bad. These things taste unbelievable. They sent a variety pack here to the office and they are so good. And orgain's brand new 30 gram protein shakes offer protein packed real nutrition designed to satisfy your cravings without all the sugar. And their shakes are complete with all nine essential amino acids or gain. 30 gram protein shakes are available at Costco and Orgain.com if you want to get in on the delicious protein packed nutrition Today, head to orgain.com ymh and use the code ymh for 20% off your order. Once again, that's O R G A I N.com ymh for 20% off. And make sure you use our promo code ymh so they know we sent.

[B]

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[A]

Go ahead, go ahead.

[B]

I wanted to read this to you. This is apropos our discussion a few episodes ago of how is it that meth heads can be fat?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because there's. Yeah, it's very. It doesn't seem like they should be able to be.

[B]

Yeah. Because meth is the whole reason you look hot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Tata. He got. He got pretty heavy.

[B]

Hi, Hitlers. I moved to Vegas in 2001 and began doing crystal meth. I never knew people did meth so casually. Literally everyone was doing it. My friends moms would sometimes just turn to me and ask if I wanted to get high while rocking their kid to sleep or preparing a bottle for their baby. I fell in with some biker types and a guy I met would eat Pounds of bacon. When he would come down, he insisted he needed fat so that people wouldn't be able to tell he was on meth. He was into the idea that the Nazis invented methods. We know that. And they had developed protocols to stay healthy. He was super fat, but he would stay up for weeks at a time. Everyone else in his orbit was wasting away. It was crazy. Oddly, his plan seemed to work. He eventually ended up having a heart attack while driving his motorcycle like a psycho and died. Would love Dr. Mommy's thoughts on this guy's lifestyle.

[A]

Yeah. Touching my camera through the trench. Yeah, well, it's a good question.

[B]

Well, it makes sense if you come down after days and days of partying and then you just stockpile calories.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, that's what he's doing. Because, like you said, he knew going into it, he's like, oh, these meth heads always are so skinny and wiry. And then everyone knows, you know, they're gaunt. But, like, if I load up on bacon, that won't happen to me.

[B]

Well, is that what the Nazis did, Tom?

[A]

I don't know that the Nazis followed that proto. Yeah, I think they. I mean, they. They had. They had them geeked out the whole time.

[B]

Yeah, they were g. That's how they did the Blitzkriegs.

[A]

All of it. Yeah, they were. They were just fighting, just tweaking all the time.

[B]

I wonder what this protocol is. The Nazi protocol.

[A]

Yeah. You didn't fall proto, buddy. You're done. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, fed smoker did it. Herc. He was.

[B]

He was fat.

[A]

He was heavy. Yeah, he was. Also. He had eaten dog food and drinking Pepsis all day, so maybe, you know, eating dogs. Yeah, he's just had all kinds of. In his snacks. He always had chips and. Yeah, I think he just ate whatever.

[B]

We have to ask Dr. Drew. Yeah, he could definitely tell us. This is his domain. Recovery and drugs and stuff.

[A]

Good question.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Remind us. Ask Dr. Drew this question, please. Will do. Yeah. Because I had friends that did meth in high school, and nobody was fat and.

[A]

No, they usually get real skinny. They look great, stay up for days. That's what happens. You start withering away. Your body's burning calories, and your brain.

[B]

Is going psychotic and shutting down from a lack of sleep, too.

[A]

Yeah, the combination of the two is a fun, fun time. All right, why don't we take a quick break, and we'll be right back. Ready? In gimesh Alba Shalosh steim. All right, welcome back. We are Thrilled to introduce our guest today. You may have seen her in the saddle or out of the saddle. That's just inside talk for a certain spin class you might take on what was where she formerly was. But now you can find her on her podcast wholeheartedly with Kendall and Gailey, or check her out all over social media, of course, on Instagram, at Kendall Tool, it's Kendall Tool.

[C]

Hey, what's up, you guys?

[A]

Thanks for coming in.

[C]

Thank you for having me. I have been tagged in this podcast so many times, and I'm like, do I clap back? Do I comment? And then I was, like, just waiting for the opportunity to finally get here. So, Kendall, I'm happy to be here.

[B]

Well, let's fucking go. Let's get into it, because I'm gonna.

[C]

Tell you, it's great.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Allowed to do it here.

[B]

Yeah. Free place.

[C]

Freedom.

[B]

I'm going to be honest with you, Kendall. First time I saw you, first time I saw your figure, heard your voice, saw my husband pedaling to you, had little girl on, girl hate. I was a little jealous, and I felt like you were trouble and then.

[A]

Keep going.

[B]

But then, in true, in all fairness, I did a dive on your socials, and I was like, oh, she's a real one. Like, you're a real g. And I don't know. I like your story, and I like that you like your dad and that you. Yeah. So can you tell us a little bit about you and your story?

[A]

It tells your story. I had no problem with you, but go ahead, tell us what your thing was.

[C]

You're like, I liked you. We're fine.

[B]

I was perfect, Kendall. And I like that you're so pretty, and you should be fitter than the people that are on the bikes. Do you know what I mean? That's why we have a problem with, like, fat Barbies. Well, that's why I haven't. We'll get into that.

[C]

We can get into that. We can get into that.

[B]

Tell me your story.

[A]

We hate inclusivity. Go ahead.

[C]

Inclusivity is such a fucking joke. No, watch. That gets pulled. And I love it. And I'm. Whatever, let's go. Let's go. But, yeah, so my story, essentially, I was super fucking depressed and nobody would know. And, yes, I get it. It's like, okay, here's the pretty white chick who has had all the privilege in the world and barely has a thought that goes through her brain. I get it. I knew how I came off as, especially on the bike. And when I got kind of cast for that job, I was like, damn, I am not doing anything to help anybody other than like, oh, look. Look at her. She's that girl on the bike. She knows it. And so, yeah, it was during COVID and obviously all of us were depressed and locked away, and I was in a studio apartment in New York and racking my head against a wall, right? And I was like, I just need to talk about what I've really been through. And so full story, Cliff Notes version. I was suicidal my senior year of college. Almost took my own life. Thank God that my mom. Thank God for moms and dads. And my mom was calling me multiple times.

[B]

But tell the story. It's interesting.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

So this is a. This is crazy.

[C]

This is wild. So as parents, I will let you know your instincts are totally on point. So I was doing everything great. I went to usc. Loved it. Was in school to get into.

[B]

I was.

[C]

Pain in the ass to get into. Geez, you're so film and all that. Oh, thank you. Yeah, it was. It was a grind. And still I held it all together. I pretended like everything was good. I was cheering. I was like little. Little Miss Barbie. Right? That everybody thought. And my life, like the color was just draining out of the day. Like, I would front to everybody. I was good. And then behind the scenes, I just. There was nothing. I just felt empty.

[B]

But what. What prompted it? Was it. What do you think?

[C]

I think it was a mix of one. Growing up in the film industry, like, I was like a total failed kid actor. Thank God, in hindsight. Oh, my God.

[A]

So you're going to auditions and all.

[C]

That as a kid, all the auditions, all the no's. I've had, like, grown adults tell me I needed, like plastic surgery and a nose job to make it in Hollywood. Hung out with all the Nickelodeon and Disney kids.

[A]

No.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

That was your upbringing.

[C]

What?

[A]

That was your upbringing?

[C]

Yeah. And being in that environment. But then I had really. Thank God really good parents and a very strong, frightening Italian mother who would threaten to whoop my ass if anything ever changed. So thank God for that. And that helped. But I think I just felt like I had failed. Like I didn't hit this career goal by 18. I did this movie that didn't have the renowned kind of moment that it was supposed to going into college. And I was like, shit. Everything. I'd worked for myself my whole life, I'm failing. I didn't do it.

[A]

Do you feel like a failure?

[C]

Totally. Like, full identity crisis. A lot of people have a little bit later in life I had it, like, 20. So realizing I was about to graduate college, I had to get a normal job and be a, quote, unquote, normal person. And I failed. My dream that I worked so hard for, I think really ate away at me for a long time. And so it was just before Thanksgiving. It'll actually be nine years this year, which is pretty wild to think about it. But I just. I don't know what got into me. I just was tired of feeling nothing and climbed up to the roof of the building that I lived in. And there was, like, a fence line above, like, there, because you could be on the roof and whatnot. And climbed over that fence and was. Moments before, had this flash of, like, what would happen? Like, kind of like, I hate to say, like a Christmas Carol and, like, make this sappy, but kind of what would happen to my parents, what. What the outcome would be.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And I saw out of the corner of my eye, my phone, which I had on silent, was. Kept lighting up and lighting up. And I looked, climbed back over. My mom was calling me 15, 16 times in a row. She just knew something was wrong. And we hadn't talked. We hadn't talked for probably three, four hours. I pretended everything was fine. I didn't have a plan to do this. I'd had these, like, thoughts come in for a while. And I picked up the phone, and she's like, what's wrong? And I said, can you come pick me up? Wow. And then the next three months.

[A]

Did you tell her when she picked you up?

[C]

No.

[A]

No.

[C]

So I didn't. I did not tell my parents how bad it really was till years later, really. I was so afraid to tell them how close I was that I would. I was so worried it would end and create a problem for them at a deeper level that I just.

[A]

Did you get into counseling right away or you did?

[C]

Yeah. So this is kind of how I closed up my classes, which, you know, like I always say, like, they can knock you down, they can never knock you out. So where kind of that whole thing came from was one. My dad would always say it. When we lived in Atlanta, we had a basement, like you do when you're living in Georgia or the South. And he would put a punching bag down there, so I'd always hear, like, the chains going. And he loved Rocky, all that stuff. So anyway, it kind of became a family motto. But when I was. When I came back from school and this I browned out. I don't remember much of it. I was in such a depressed state. I couldn't shower. I couldn't eat. I got pulled out of school. My professors were like, your grades are fine. Like, we're just gonna pass you for the. For the semester. You're good. And, yeah, my dad came up to my room and said, essentially, kid, like, we're gonna have to put you an inpatient. I know you don't want to do that. If we do, it's gonna push your graduation date. And I know that you're really scared of pushing that, and you want to get out of college. And so he said, look, I need you to get out, get a shower, and start doing the little things. And, you know, what's our. What's our motto in this family? Like, what do we do? He's like, this can knock you down, but you can't let this knock you out. And I get, like, emotional every time I say it. And. And that was a turning point. And that was. So. What was really cool was when I started teaching fitness and pivoted my career and all that, and. And I just started closing out all my classes, even before Peloton with that phrase. And now it's become. It's so wild. Yeah. It's the thing.

[B]

But, Kendall, I'm sorry.

[A]

One second.

[B]

But look at you now. Is that you were dest. Destined to be a star. And I think, you know, that wasn't the right time for you as a child. That would have been disastrous. And how. How amazing it is that what. What is meant for you will come no matter what.

[C]

Oh, 100.

[B]

Now look at you. You're. You're. You're about to launch everything. And. Well, not that you're not already popular, but this is wonderful. So you made it there anyway at the right time.

[C]

Yeah. And I think it's such a testament to the timing I had for myself. I thought I failed, and the bigger timing and what really, the ultimate plan was. I needed to go through that incredible valley. Like, why should you have a platform if you're not doing something positive with it?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Especially in, like, all the noise and all the chaos that is today. It's like, I'm sick of just hearing random people talk about random shit and be famous for nothing.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, I want. Just tell me something. Tell me something human. So I'm really grateful for the fact that that hell created everything that I do now. And so, like, you know, I'm in the process of launching my own charity super soon, and I'm really excited about that and doing more advocacy and mental health and.

[B]

Good.

[C]

Having real conversations and finding the funny in it because it's such a fucking weird existence. And the duality of it's wild. And we have to, you know, not make it so serious all the time too.

[A]

That's fun. I'm glad you're doing that. I'm so curious about this. Yeah. What is it like for somebody? Because you have. There's this roster of talent when. When you have any of the fitness tools, but like, let's say the Peloton bike. So you have a. Like you said you have a cheer background. Were you a cyclist too? Like, did you have that background? Because you watch these things and you're like, okay, so like I told you, I take a lot of classes now from Matt.

[C]

Oh, I love Matt.

[A]

And he's great. He's always talking about his triathlons and marathons and you're like, okay, it kind of adds up. You're like, this guy's training all the time. Right? So. And then some people, you know, you don't know what all their backgrounds are, but like, how does one. What's the process of getting hired at somewhere. Somewhere like that?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I have a feeling by your response that it's like, yeah, there's my dog right there. Matt Wilfrid.

[C]

Oh, I love Matt Wilford. He's an angel. He's such a good human. Yeah. So look at Matt. He's legit.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I am a fucking poser.

[A]

Really?

[C]

I never taught a cycling class before. Peloton, Seriously, I never taught one. I lied. I said I did.

[A]

And then did you, like, fake it.

[C]

Till you become it?

[A]

Is there? Because, like, okay, just all honesty, like, when you start, you know, I started, I was probably 20 pounds heavier. And so you're like, you know, you're doing like cycling classes and you realize. But then there's, you know, there's levels to this shit. And when I'm doing like a 60 or 75 minute power zone class, you're like, this is taxing like this.

[C]

Oh, totally. And it's built to be that way. So let me not completely negate myself. Like, okay, I am a certified personal trainer. I understand how to build your body. And I have a boxing background.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

So I grew up fighting.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

That was my cup of tea that I loved. Yeah. So actually one of my mentors is a film director and he. I met him in college before I had this breakdown. And he's like, there's. There's going on with you. He's like, you need to come to the boxing gym. I was petrified, but I Was like, this guy's awesome. I'm not going to like, let him down, you know. And I fell in love with boxing and then I would go there two, three times a week. He never, bless his heart, he never charged me for private training at this gym.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

And that set the tone for me finding power. Oh, completely. I will still say in anybody going through anything difficult, if they have the strength to go in and try boxing, I think it's.

[A]

Yeah, boxing is phenomenal. Yeah, Will. But is there like an. Is there like a legit audition to the director?

[C]

Yeah. So how this whole thing happened was I was teaching a boxing fitness class at a place called Rumble in la. Yeah, yeah. So I was one of their founding trainers at the LA Studio and I kind of fell into that. So the boxing trainer that was doing my private training with me at that gym when I was just learning boxing, he was opening a private, small, like, boutique fitness studio in West Hollywood. And I was broke because I worked for a very, very well known social media platform and got fired because I wouldn't partake in certain behaviors. But we can't say too much more about that because legal is fun. But yeah, so pivoted from there and had to completely retool my life. So I was like, I guess I'm broke as shit. I need to teach some type of a class. And he's offering me a job to be a boxing instructor. So I taught four classes at this gym. And then the owners of Rumble came in to my fourth class ever and were like, hey, you're decent at this. Do you want to audition to be you to be a Rumble instructor? Lived in New York, did that. Opened the LA Studio. So after a year and a half of running the LA studio and being one of the founding trainers there, Cody Rigsby slid into my DMs on Instagram and was like, hey, do you want to audition for Peloton? I'm like, what is that?

[A]

Yeah, what is this?

[C]

And it's a bike. And I've taken three SoulCycle classes in my entire life.

[A]

And then you were like, oh, I teach cycling sometimes.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

I totally lied because I was broke and I wanted to move back to New York and I just had a feeling I needed to be back in that city.

[B]

And you had spent your entire childhood auditioning, so how interesting that that totally was not foreign to you and that's probably why you shined. I'm sure they auditioned so many people.

[C]

Yeah, there's a lot.

[A]

Sometimes you take. You take classes. You can take a class with just the instructor. There's no one there. When it's full of people, how are there people there? Do they sign up for that? Do they email in or something?

[C]

It's aggressive. So to try to book into those classes, they fill up in, like, sometimes 30 to 30 seconds to two minutes.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

And there's 40 spots, and it's usually two to three weeks out, so people will drop everything.

[A]

And they're, like, flying in to do it.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

They fly in, like, and then we have a meet and greet after. And it's. It's wild. You hear all the emotions. You're like, I overcame this. I just got married. I just divorced this mark. Like, whatever. All this stuff you hear at all. And we all do classes together that way.

[A]

I'll tell. I'll say this.

[C]

It's cool.

[A]

I am a cynical, sarcastic asshole. And when I start these things and you guys are all, like, cheery. I'm like, this fucking idiot. Like, being all like, hey, you can do it. And then you're. I'm alone at home. And then, like, you know, after a few, you're like, oh, no. This is actually kind of nice. You guys are so positive. Actually, I actually end up enjoying it. I'll tell you my. Here's my biggest pet peeve. Okay? You're taking a class, and it's hard, right? So you're, like. You're trying to, like, push through. And, you know, they're like, all right. You know, like, you're ramping back up again, and your. Your guide is the instructor. And it's like, you're in minute, like, 45, and you're like, fuck, there's like, 15 minutes left. And the instructor starts with like, I want you to dig deep right now. Don't. And the instructor stops. So the instructor stops.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

And goes like, hey, guys, I know right now you're probably, like, thinking about how it's hard, but I want you to just dig. And you're like, hey, motherfucker, start pedaling.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

We're trying to finish. And it makes me crazy.

[C]

I yell at the screen, as you should. As you. So I will firmly stand on this. The only two times I've ever stopped in classes.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Was during my mental health rides. And I did it because I wanted people to experience what it felt like to work really, really hard and stop. Because it was a metaphor for thinking of quitting.

[A]

It makes sense.

[C]

Two times. I've only ever done it. Otherwise I was an absolute animal. I would not stop. And that's why?

[A]

There's a certain instructor who I will tell you often, Mike, that makes a regular practice of it. It's bullshit. It's not Matt and it's not you, but it's somebody who I feel like sending a fucking DM to myself. Like, get your ass fucking pedaling.

[C]

Yeah, you're telling me. I just believe. And I'm right there with you. If I'm asking someone to do something, I'm not gonna not do it with you, dude.

[A]

Yes. Like, you're telling me to do shit.

[C]

Well, it's also like, why would you trust. It takes away our credibility.

[A]

I think a thousand percent.

[C]

Like, if I'm going to say this is going to be great for your body and this is going to be a great experience for you.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Like, I'm much more of like the link arms type of a person. Like, we'll get up the hill together.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

And it sucks. Like, I taught metal rides. Those things were absolute hell.

[A]

They're brutal.

[C]

I hated them, but I love them too.

[A]

How many fucking. This is the other question I have.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

How many sessions is a typical instructor teaching in a week?

[C]

Oh, on a. On a really intense week. So we would have live classes with members.

[A]

Right.

[C]

And that was after Covid. We got people back in the studio. That's a whole ordeal though, because you then get there early. We do our own hair and makeup. Or I used to, because I was there, did my own hair and makeup. We all did. And then you would teach sometimes one, sometimes two to three classes, depending on what the stack was. And then you would do a meet and greet with everybody. So you'd be out there. It's like a three hour. And it's just a lot of energy too. It's wonderful. But it was very emotionally tired.

[A]

Like five days a week.

[C]

Like is it about three to five days a week, depending on your schedule.

[A]

Multiple classes a day.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

So I would probably. I think on my busiest week, I probably would have like anywhere. 14.

[A]

Oh, so you guys are getting after.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Wait, wait. It's 14 classes per. Not per day.

[A]

No.

[C]

Per week facilities. Yeah.

[B]

And meet and greets and like be perfect.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Jesus.

[C]

It was. It was a lot. It was a lot.

[B]

No wonder Kendall looks like Kendall now. I'm not gonna name any names on this sheet here, but how come.

[A]

Just. You can scroll around. Let's see who.

[B]

Like, how come. No, how come they chose to keep going. Heavier scrolling, people. Be the aspirational.

[C]

Okay, I. There's. Okay. Two things can be true at the Same time, though. Like, sure, I will. Totally. I. Listen, the great thing is that you have a whole crew of people that either you connect to or you don't. Right. It's like a whole cast of Avengers. So some people. Some people like Iron man, some people like Spider Man. I think they're part of the same thing. I don't know. I'm clearly not too well, first, I will say the instructors are all truly, like, they are athletes. They can lift.

[A]

They're legit.

[C]

There are some body types, too, that, like, are different. Like, if you look at an Olympic weightlifter, they're going to be built bigger and different. Like, it's a different set and a different suite.

[B]

Is this. Is there a weightlifting peloton that I'm not aware of?

[C]

Because I don't. I don't know about that. I don't think we, as some people, train Olympic weightlifting.

[B]

It's a lot of cardio.

[C]

It's a lot. There's a. There's a lot of strength program, though.

[B]

It's a lot of cardio.

[A]

Well, you know, you gotta stay on top of your diet, too, Gene.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

There is a thing, though, that I will say, I'm sure most people experience this. You start some of these sometimes and you're like, nah, I don't like this guy. And you just. Yeah, right away.

[B]

It's funny.

[C]

It's energy, though.

[A]

It is.

[C]

And it's the same thing. Like, you get, like, a similar experience in a boutique fitness class. Like, you know your instructors, and you just vibe and you, you know, you vibe with people. You don't vibe with others.

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

Yeah, I get it.

[A]

It's like life. It's any, you know, I mean, you walk into a room and you're just like, nope.

[C]

You're like, you suck. I don't know why, but you're terrible.

[B]

That's why I always like the real people like you. And I love my homegirl that got. Well, I'm sorry, I'm blanking on your name right now. She lives in Greece. Comic that became my girl, dude. Sorry, guys. It's been a rough year. Stacia Patwell. Stacia Patwell. Oh, yeah, Stacia. Sorry. Girl.

[C]

Oh, wait, I don't know her.

[B]

She's great, too, because she also has a story of like, hey, I was an alcoholic. I was like, 20 pounds overweight at a breaking point as well, and I got into fucking fitness. Yeah, and same, like, when she teaches you, she doesn't bullshit you and go, like, hot, too. Of course she's amazing. She's never like, this is awesome. She's like, this sucks right now. Let's fucking do it anyways. You can hate something and still do it. And I was like, dude, that's the person I like. Yeah, just be honest with me. This sucks right now. Let's go.

[C]

There's so many platitudes. There's just platitudes everywhere, and it never connects. It's just so disingenuous. You're like, listen, working out is hard. Losing weight is hard. Getting healthy is fucking hard. There's no easy way about it, but it's the consistency. And then it's committing to yourself. And then it changes your brain chemistry because you're staying committed to a new habit, and the habit means that you're empowering yourself. So if that's the cost of having a better life, I think it's worth it. I think it makes you a better person. But it's not easy.

[A]

It is that. It's the whole thing. I mean, what I've learned personally is that it's just really about committing to things. Like, it's because a lot of people, and myself included, have done. You have times in your life where you're like, oh, yeah, I ate well Monday, and I worked out Wednesday. And then on Saturday, you're like, how come I'm not, like, happy with my fitness progress? It was like you did, like, two things. This, you know, I mean, like, it's really about every day.

[C]

Yeah. It's moving something every day.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And it doesn't always. I think the other thing, too is, like, you know, there's a great. There's a great analogy about, like, athletes and how a third of the time you're hitting it, you're doing everything peak, you feel fantastic. Another third of the time, you just feel blah, mediocre, whatever. A day was a day. And the. And the final third, you feel like shit. You think you're not making progress, you're negative in your head all of that. Two thirds of the time you're feeling neutral to shit. Like, I think a lot of people think you're supposed to feel great about it every single day, but really, the discipline comes from the fact you're only getting that a third of the time. So the more that you can focus on celebrating that one third and understanding that that's not the expectation to have daily, it takes the pressure off of having to have a PR day every single day. That's not realistic.

[A]

Not realistic? No. And I imagine you're on top of diet too. Right? Like, you're probably a very clean eater.

[C]

Pretty much, yeah. Like, I'm aware of what I'm putting in my body. I love cooking. I do, actually. I put a lot of recipes on my Instagram and I've started putting them in the newsletter that I have, which is sick. But I love. I grew up with an Italian mom and I love my cheese and I love my pasta, but if I can make it a little healthier, I will. So I'll put a bunch of cool recipes up there and just find other ways to sub things out. Because, look, there's a lot of crap in the food, particularly in America, and you have to be thoughtful of where you get the ingredients.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Where's it coming from? Where's the cow from?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Is he grass fed? You know, I eat everything, but just.

[A]

Thought we live in a country that doesn't prioritize food health, food awareness, food nutrients like people don't know about. And it's like, we don't teach it. You have to actually be curious yourself to figure it out. And if you rely on just what is out there without any. You're just eating garbage.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's so many chemicals.

[B]

But see, I didn't believe in this because I'd always be like, this is some fucking conspiracy bullshit. Get out of here. I just saw my oncologist two days ago and she goes, christina, breast cancer is not one in eight women. It's going towards one in six women because of environmental factors, plastics and everything, the GMOs in the food. And I was like, you got to be kidding me. That now the. The cancer doctor is telling me this stuff and she's like. And I go, what do I do? And she goes, go shop at farmers markets. Okay, so make sure, like, you know where your food is coming from, you know, and you can do that. Here in Texas, there's a lot of farms and there's programs. You. Can we sign up now for this box of fresh veggies and meat that gets delivered from the local farm?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

And it supports the local farmers who are doing the progress and actually farming in sustainable, more functional ways. Like, it's not just churn and burn when, you know, and you look at the difference. And there's like a really interesting thing where it shows beef cuts that are like grass fed or pasture or whatever, and then farmed beef. And you can just see in the musculature of the beef itself. You're like, that just doesn't look right. The color doesn't look Right.

[A]

Don't like. I don't know if you've ever like. Does this look right to you? Beautiful and nice by the shell. I'm gonna add this mint here.

[C]

Wait, what's on top?

[A]

So that's a lamb shank on top of strawberries.

[C]

No, I have not seen that before.

[B]

What's the orange part?

[C]

Is that a mushroom?

[A]

I got Honey Ranch.

[B]

Honey Ranch, Nice.

[A]

Got gold.

[B]

You drizzle everything with Honey Ranch.

[C]

Right. You know what? I make a healthier version of it, so I find a way to do it.

[A]

But yeah, I mean, that's a six star chef.

[B]

You know, six sharks, six star.

[C]

I just. I love the. The gimmick of putting it in like a martini glass or a wine glass.

[A]

Do you wash your chicken? Oh, is he gonna wash my chicken vinegar?

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

You don't do that.

[C]

Well, then I want to. Is he gonna get it in, like every little orifice with the toothbrush?

[A]

He's doing the back side of the brush.

[C]

Why is he using the back?

[A]

Just a choice. Creative choice. Take a two brush.

[C]

Maybe he's afraid of the plastic from the brush getting into the chicken skin.

[B]

You know what?

[A]

Never thought that.

[B]

Nailed it.

[C]

Anti plastic.

[A]

Wash the chicken.

[C]

Bless him.

[A]

You like chicken?

[C]

I do love chicken. Not like that. I would not eat that damn chicken.

[A]

Oh, you're missing out. You're missing out. What about.

[C]

That's my favorite. Show me another.

[A]

Do you like burgers?

[C]

Really great. By the way, you had no Teflon stainless steel.

[A]

Look at this burger.

[C]

What should I cook in ceramic stainless steel? I'll send you rest.

[A]

Look at this burger. Look at this.

[B]

What is that?

[A]

It's his burger.

[B]

It's his burger.

[C]

Is he gonna smash it?

[B]

No, babe.

[C]

Looks like a.

[B]

Do you like the middle raw?

[C]

Yummy.

[A]

Do you ever indulge in treats like Mac and cheese?

[C]

I did last night, actually.

[B]

Oh, my cilantro.

[C]

Okay. Is it. I have the soap jeans. So I can't have cilantro.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Well, otherwise. Yeah, we could ask.

[C]

That'd be so.

[A]

Without the cilantro.

[C]

Yeah, No, I think that.

[B]

Well, this looks like pretty authentic Italian. You may want to show your mom this.

[A]

Yeah, show your mom.

[C]

Or this is when Italians look at a video and just, like, curse and throw their phone.

[A]

Yeah, I think quite a few would. Fresh lemon. That's nice. That's tasteful.

[C]

That's delightful.

[A]

That's mouth water. That's mouth brushing. That's tantalizing.

[C]

I would love it in a giant oversized martini glass.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[C]

You know the ones where they put like the towers of shrimp or like, you know, the dessert.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

The cheesecakes and stuff.

[A]

Yeah, he does all kinds of cool stuff.

[C]

I am fancy.

[A]

Also, people always asking the chef, oh, wow, what's my favorite meal?

[C]

I love his outfit, though. I really do. I really do.

[A]

Peanut butter jelly.

[C]

You know, that's true. It's a classic.

[A]

I put bananas on it too. And also the choice to have thick cut bananas on my peanut butter jelly sandwich gotta make.

[C]

So, you know, they talk about in cooking, like, the perfect bite. Yeah, I think that's a fascinating. I'd be curious how perfect that bite is. Just the mushy textures just really get me going.

[B]

Just a peanut butter with a banana. I feel like maybe it's too sweet with the jelly. I don't know. Wasn't that Elvis's favorite?

[C]

Is it the. Is it chemical jelly or is it.

[B]

Like, it's organic, farm grown?

[A]

Now you are a. I would say you're a fitness influencer, right? Is that fair to say?

[C]

Yeah, I'll take it.

[A]

And we have a. We've had a few on the show. 1. His name is Will.

[D]

Will, in this episode of what does the Wild Naked Man Drink?

[A]

You know him.

[D]

I'm gonna fill this beautiful mason jar with my beautiful orin, which is medicinal.

[B]

Keep watching. Don't you look away, Kendall. Don't you look away.

[C]

I'm looking.

[A]

I'm looking.

[C]

I'm committed.

[B]

He's really sweet.

[A]

Look at his skin. Doesn't he have beautiful skin?

[C]

He really does. He's got a wonderful beer.

[D]

When I drink my own piss, I get this enhanced benefit of self approval and self acceptance.

[A]

Nice.

[C]

We do.

[B]

We do.

[D]

Self love is the only love.

[C]

That his platitudes are accurate.

[A]

They're very accurate.

[C]

It's true. Self love is truly the only love.

[A]

You know, he runs marathons like he's in good shape.

[C]

I will say it's got to be convenient, though.

[A]

And then look, everything that's not for.

[D]

Us, like injecting heavy metals and aborted fetal cells right into your body, is made to. Made to seem good. And everything that's good for us, like drinking your piss, is made to seem bad. We live in an inverted clown world. So try it for yourself and be your own guru and do what feels good.

[A]

Do what feels good. And guess what? He emailed us again. He was on the show and he. He got. He wrote in. Hey, brother.

[C]

Oh, I love that.

[A]

Thought you might enjoy my new meditation. This will help men grow their penises and their balls produce more sperm With Tom injecting his testosterone because I inject, I thought he might enjoy this the natural way. Love W. That's Will. And here is his meditation song.

[B]

I'm so excited. Yes.

[D]

I am a sexy man.

[A]

I am a sexy man.

[C]

You have to repeat it.

[D]

I love how when I walk into.

[A]

A room, I love how when I.

[D]

Walk, my potency is felt and seen.

[B]

That's good.

[D]

I am so sexy that the energy moving through my body right now. Energy moving through my body right now is so powerful.

[A]

So powerful.

[D]

I love myself.

[A]

I love myself.

[D]

I appreciate myself.

[C]

It's working.

[B]

Affirmation.

[D]

My body, they do is a testosterone factory.

[B]

Look how he stood up. Right?

[C]

It's working.

[D]

I am incredibly healthy. I am incredibly powerful.

[A]

I'm incredibly powerful.

[B]

How long is this?

[A]

25 minutes.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

I have unlimited energy.

[C]

I would love to see the before and after of.

[A]

My confidence is magnetic, let me tell you.

[B]

Will came in here, he wanted to come on nude, but he did concede to wearing underwear.

[C]

Only, let's say a sock. At least on the. A little sock. No, but I mean a little more cover.

[A]

It was a little cheeks. It was underwear. It was little tighty whities. Also insisted on long hugs. In his state.

[C]

Hopefully nothing. Everything was nice and flaccid.

[B]

Yeah, for me it was growing. And for you? For any. He really liked. Any.

[A]

Any. Any. Walked right past him, wouldn't hug. No hugs. No hugs. No hugs.

[C]

Yeah. You were like, nah, not today.

[B]

Not today. But he does look really good in person and he's an excellent.

[A]

He does.

[C]

And he's very bright.

[A]

His beard's impressive skin tone.

[C]

His skin looks great. I'm. I'm so curious about the urine.

[B]

Have you tried it?

[C]

No, I can't say I have. I don't think I will. I'm assuming he probably doesn't consume asparagus, though, because I feel like that would be a really difficult no. Look how clear that he's very well hydrated.

[D]

You know, they'll. They'll buy all the supplements, very expensive supplements, yet they never have seen their bros naked. They've never worked out naked. They've never played naked Ultimate Frisbee. They've never done naked wrestling. And there's a reason why testosterone and sperm counts are at an all time low. It's because men are not getting that vitamin that Robert Bly, who wrote Way of Iron John said is an invisible food that gets transfused between men through the ethers when they get naked and do, for example, ball cupping or ball tapping rituals where you Tap your best dispross balls and look at his beautiful mushroom head and said good energy into it.

[A]

Excuse me.

[C]

Your bestest bros. Can he make a. I want a clothing line that says cup your bestest bros balls on the shirt.

[B]

I think you. Gosh, that would be amazing.

[C]

I think. I don't think it's on brand for me, but I really think he could make a mint doing it.

[B]

What? You're listening.

[D]

My live workshop, we do a beautiful cock exercise. And this is actually inspired by a guy named Darius Bashar.

[C]

Why is he thrusting?

[D]

Basically, he does these workshops called penis wellness. So it's all about your relationship with your cock and like really learning to love your penis.

[A]

Because if you love your penis, your.

[D]

Self esteem builds up, I find.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

So what you do is just stand in a circle.

[B]

It makes me uncomfortable. I'm so uncomfortable for them. It's making me Peter gazing.

[C]

And I am. Wow. Are they gonna.

[A]

Oh, they want to see more.

[C]

Wow, wow. Wow.

[A]

That's why Annie walked away.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It could have been you any.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Just hogging. Wow. They went swimming.

[A]

Another dick's touching. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. This is. Wow, that's so gay.

[B]

You guys are just afraid of how much testosterone naturally you can create by being with your bros and gazing. Why are you so afraid?

[C]

Cupping each other's.

[A]

Yeah, I'm just not man enough. Yeah. Yeah, I guess.

[B]

Open your heart.

[A]

Well, anyway, this is also just to fill your body.

[B]

All right. You okay?

[C]

You are. You will.

[A]

Yeah. With ideas for what you could do with your platforms.

[C]

Oh, nice.

[B]

For women. Because Will doesn't do women things at all.

[A]

She doesn't do women either.

[C]

Maybe I should. Yeah, well, I kind of got that vibe.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. I don't think I'd be his type.

[B]

If you have any menstrual blood workshops, I would like to make a mandala with my menstrual blood. Maybe paint it.

[C]

Paint it? Yeah, Give it up as an offering.

[B]

Water glass.

[C]

You know, I did notice that nude.

[A]

Classes I think would be a huge, huge hit. Huge for you.

[C]

It's so funny you mentioned that someone suggested it should like. Yeah, Kendall, like build a platform, put it on. Only fans like just like cycle in the nude. There was once I did wear. Unfortunately, I wore a skin toned. It was a peloton apparel set and I wore it shadow boxing. And then I had a black like the mic belt and I looked and I noticed. I'm like, oh, God, I look naked. Yeah, I'm like, I literally look naked.

[B]

Kendall, if you start teaching your classes topless you would be the greatest fitness instructor that ever.

[C]

We get the worst.

[A]

Listen to Christina.

[B]

The most, the richest. You. You charge a premium for just topless. You don't have to show your meow or your feet.

[C]

Yeah. Wow, look at Zolo.

[B]

He loves the idea. He's smiling. Listen, by far, I have so many male friends that adore you and would pay a premium to just see you do it topless.

[A]

Oh, by the way, let's see how.

[C]

Let's see how I go. We could call it Fit Tits.

[A]

Fit Tits.

[C]

Fit Tits. Fit Titty.

[B]

I mean, there you go. And all the women behind you, their tits are showing, too. And you have all different size of sloppers.

[C]

Yeah. And then do we cup each other's tits?

[B]

Of course you cup.

[A]

And then.

[C]

And then we partner with Will and we build it up.

[B]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

You want to talk about. You want to talk about your class filling up in two minutes?

[B]

Fit Tits will sell out way faster.

[A]

Real fast.

[C]

Real fast, guys. There we go.

[A]

That's what I wanted. My plan as a. Everybody wanted to know.

[B]

Teaching on the platform, Fit Tits, I would do.

[A]

You know, we sometimes show marginalized community. People like. Like this guy. I am really sick and tired of.

[B]

Being alone in Kelso, Washington. Well, hold on, hold on.

[A]

Somebody needs to come visit me. I'm tired of losing money. Okay, so he's just.

[C]

What did he say?

[A]

He's just putting a plea out there for someone to come visit him.

[C]

Oh, bless his heart.

[A]

I know. Bless his little heart. But I want to know, did you get some perhaps unwanted messages?

[B]

No.

[A]

As a teacher, as an instructor, did you get.

[B]

Never some creepy messages ever? Oh.

[C]

Oh, God. You know, I will say I have probably. Let's just call it. I had a sea of cocks in my DMs.

[A]

Really?

[C]

A sea of them. It was like little. I would always make a joke, too. I was like, oh, God. Like. Because finally Instagram got to the point I kept reaching out to them, like, can I want to look at DMs from people who sometimes they say very nice messages about, you know, how classes helped transform their lives. Or like, a personal story. So literally, talk about, like, dissonance, cognitive dissonance. I'm, like, tearing up at, like, wow. You know, I'm inspired. You got me through my father's passing. And then it's like, dick. And then it's like, thank you, dick. Like, it just like, it was constant. Yeah, there was a lot of them.

[B]

It's like your mom's house.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

Oh. I hate looking for a white lady that's tattooed, check, and dominant and be willing to put me in a dress and beat the. Out of me. Call me. I'm the of Fremont Street.

[A]

Wow. You know, there's guys out there like that.

[C]

I. Yeah, I feel like some of them have tried to contact me.

[B]

Kendall, you're not married yet.

[C]

I'm not married yet, no. You know what?

[B]

Still out there.

[C]

We can. Alex, you got competition, honey. The sissy of Fremont street is just calling my name, right? God.

[A]

I'll make this brief. My name is John Lyu. Shipman. I'm looking for girls for pussy. I'd love to eat pussy.

[C]

At least he knows what he wants. And he's very clear in communication. I will give him that.

[A]

You're looking for some action. You live in Missouri. Please call me at 1-5 7, or text me at 1-6-3.

[C]

Wait, he has two different numbers for calling?

[A]

Most of the cool guys do, yes.

[C]

But, Tommy, two phones. One for the bitches and one for the hoes.

[B]

Oh, snap, dude. Remember that guy we played earlier today? The first clip? Yeah, the angry horny.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

So the deal is, though, so there's a. There's. There's different shades of horny on the show that we deal with.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

This to me, I repulses me. Now, hold on, let me finish my thought.

[A]

Sure, go ahead.

[B]

Because I sense the desperation. I'm looking for girls, but, yeah, me. Here's my. Here's five phone numbers. Here's my, you know, Snapchat.

[C]

And he talks like this.

[B]

Okay, but watch this Next generation.

[A]

He also has respiratory issues.

[C]

Sometimes.

[A]

Eat pussy.

[B]

You shouldn't be eating pussy with that.

[C]

I'm like, will you be able to breathe?

[A]

Start working. We're gonna have to take breaks, but I'll get you there.

[C]

It kind of sounds like Clint Eastwood at the same time.

[A]

You're in between.

[B]

So hot.

[A]

Tom, when I'm done eating, you, we'll eat together. But, yeah. So what's interesting is most of the time, I play these fucking awesome finds, and she reacts with total repulsion, just. Just contempt for the.

[B]

Because I sense they're dead. This is desperate. It's unattractive.

[C]

Yeah. It's not going to happen for him.

[A]

No, hold on. But then she had a totally different reaction.

[B]

But see, if you.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Be honest and be open. Kendall, I want you to.

[C]

I'll be honest. Listen.

[B]

Listen with your heart. Are you ready with your emotions?

[A]

Okay, I'm just going to sit back. None of us are going to say anything. We're all just going to look at you. Are you a bitch that loves seeing a nigga jack his dick off? When I'm exhausted and tired from doing the act. Will you love the finale? Me of busting my calm in your mouth?

[C]

Wow. It was. Wow. It was a performance.

[A]

It was.

[C]

You know, I would say put a beat behind it and it kind of sounds like a sexy red song. Like it kind of does.

[A]

Okay. And here's the thing. Do you have the same repulsion to him and his energy as the two previous guys?

[C]

I think there's a confidence that he has. There's a confidence that he has. I'm not. I'm still repulsed. It's like, whoa. But I will give the man credit that he's. He really stood on business with what he was saying. Like, he was like what he likes and what it is. And you're like.

[A]

It seems like it's contained rage is what it seems like. He's like, he's.

[C]

He's like really intense. It's the eyes.

[A]

And then I was expecting her to do the usual. And she goes, yeah, I'd watch a video.

[B]

Not in live.

[C]

No.

[B]

Because I'm afraid of him and his intensity. But I'd watch him masturbate. Yeah, I would. It would be okay. It's not the end of the world. Yeah.

[C]

I, I don't think. I mean, I. I don't enjoy watching guys.

[A]

Any random truck drivers jack off.

[C]

No, no, no.

[B]

You know, but I wouldn't.

[C]

I had an unfortunate experience in Los Angeles where a homeless man literally did. I'm like, I could go my whole life never seeing that.

[B]

Every woman has this lovely experience in New York and. But I wouldn't watch the. Of Fremont do it. And I wouldn't watch the I'm looking for girls for. Because. Right.

[C]

It's like the new version of looking for a man in finance. I'm looking for girls but 5, 4.

[A]

123,240 tok New Zealand. I'm looking for people of donating baking biscuits, cakes, slices that are gluten free and non gluten free there for me.

[C]

He accepts all intolerances.

[A]

Guys, we can't afford to buy biscuits.

[B]

Sweating. I hate it.

[A]

And home baking treat. You don't like this guy now because.

[B]

Remember we were talking about that Barbie earlier?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Is he on that?

[A]

Oh, for crying out loud.

[B]

Is he gonna be a Ken, Right? He's not of sound. He's not. He's not. Not missing chromosome. Right?

[C]

No, I don't.

[B]

It's Special is he touched.

[A]

You know what? Let's switch this up. Okay. I got something else for you. Totally different. Okay, first of all, this is very fun. Okay, this message is to Cody Silter. And if you're not him, just keep on scrolling. Yes, you.

[C]

I love them a lot.

[A]

Shake off. I'll start it. Oh, oh, right.

[B]

Hell yeah, dude.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

It is till the end of this week to duet.

[C]

I am into this content. I need to see the.

[A]

Did the duet. We don't have the reply.

[C]

Did Cody not reply?

[A]

I don't know. What the hell, guys? I don't think Cody has replied.

[B]

Wow, the balls on Cody.

[C]

Cody was owned. That's what it is.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, dude, you can't.

[B]

That was. That was a really good melee. And it had movement.

[A]

This is specific.

[C]

It was like a layered one too.

[B]

Yeah, dog.

[A]

Yeah. The bounce to it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And obviously, like, I think if you put a mullet on me today, I would just be like, nah, dude. And. And then. Oh, you don't know how to do it.

[C]

How long's it been since I've shaved it?

[A]

I mean, I have a full hair.

[B]

What? Kendall.

[A]

No, no, I have a full head of hair. I just do this because I like.

[C]

It's an aesthetic choice.

[A]

Yeah, I just think it looks better. Hair is so fucking gay.

[C]

Oh, sorry. Do you want me to put mine back for you?

[A]

It's been years.

[C]

No, bless. No, you wear it well. You wear it.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you. It's been years.

[B]

I don't even remember.

[A]

Okay, this. First of all, don't.

[B]

What?

[A]

Act like you miss hair.

[B]

I don't. You know what? I never. It wasn't one of my things with dudes. Like, when I was dating, I never even noticed if a man was bald. I really didn't. I don't care.

[A]

I'll say this.

[B]

Teeth are more important than hair.

[C]

Oh, God, yes. Teeth are a big thing.

[A]

You figure. I've thought. You figure out what bothers you by what you put. And I've been offered free hair restoration surgeries by company. They're like, we'll do it for free.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, you. And I'm like, I don't care.

[C]

The vibe, it's just not.

[A]

Yeah, I don't care enough.

[C]

And I think, yeah, listen, you guys, you're in a good crew.

[A]

Like, they're like, we'll give you a free body restoration and make you have the body you want. I'd be like, okay, I'll sign up.

[C]

You're like, let's go, M. Sculpt me now. Yeah. No, I mean, look, ball. Like a bald guy is a strong energy. You have Chris Willis. It's very masculine. You have Mr. Clean.

[B]

You will Blunderfeld, right?

[A]

Yeah. The piss drinker.

[C]

Yep, yep. And he is. I think if you're bald, maybe it's more of a. More of a struggle if you're bald and you can't grow facial hair.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

That. Yeah.

[C]

I wonder.

[A]

I'll say this. I wonder about that. I'm very, very sick when I shave my face.

[C]

Like, sickly.

[A]

It's very sad. Yeah.

[C]

You're like, oh, this guy's like, are you okay?

[A]

He's. He's in hospice care. Yeah, look, it's like, it's not. And I'm gonna be doing it soon.

[B]

I can't wait. I haven't seen your face.

[C]

How long is it? Yeah, I knew. I have a. I have a family friend. He. He never shaved his mustache. And then for his 50th birthday or 60th birthday, they did. And it was a costing. It's so funny how for certain men, that facial hair is everything.

[A]

You need it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Okay. I don't know if you've seen this, but I've been so excited to show you this. This is a real interaction abroad. Just see how this. How this plays out. This is my wife. Wife, yes, sir. What's that? I. I think that's my. So healthy. I. So nice. So healthy, man. This is so healthy. What. What do you mean that he's. She's less healthy than you?

[C]

Oh, no. Less healthy.

[B]

Less. Less.

[A]

Not too.

[B]

Less.

[A]

Oh, okay. But what do you mean, what this. Healthy means?

[B]

What?

[A]

You can say she. She will be disappointed. Why will she be disappointed? Healthy means fat. Oh, too fat.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

This is not. This is not good. Pashtun hospitality. Yes, Great hospitality. I don't think so. What do you say? I don't think so. Why? Because you can't say this. This is not nice. No, no. It is. This general talk not so. No. This is rude. So he's just on a train and this guy's like, this is your wife. That's a big broad for you.

[C]

He's like, you don't match. Damn.

[B]

But in every other country, they actively fat Shame people. If you're overweight, remember the Korean.

[A]

You know what the Koreans do?

[C]

Oh, I heard about this.

[A]

At the park, they have this. It's like an arch.

[C]

Yeah, right.

[A]

And there are slots. Oh, yeah. It has writing. And it's like, if you can fit through this, you're healthy. And if you can fit through, if you, if it's this size, you're not healthy. And then. And then like, if you have like a 36 inch waist, they're like, you're a pig. And like. No, it's very.

[C]

It's public shaming.

[A]

Yeah, it's public shaming. Yeah.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

I'm all for it. Kendall. I don't know, I. Because I'm black, like, when I visit my relatives in Hungary or whatever, they'll be like, no, you're too fat. This is not good. They just tell you straight up.

[C]

Yeah. Italians are the same way too. Yeah. I think it's very interesting in America.

[A]

Like, we're the only ones that really.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

We're like, yeah, wow. Oh, man. I guess like height. Height doesn't really.

[A]

They attribute. No, they don't really care.

[C]

They're just like, stay the same width. Yeah, you can get taller. You just can't get wider.

[A]

There are no different body types here.

[C]

Just be like, just be this period.

[A]

No, but it is true in the, in like my half my family is from Peru. And they're like, you get off the plane, they're like, hello, fat ass. And they're like, they are super direct.

[C]

I would have not guessed Peru.

[A]

Yeah. My mom's Peruvian.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

What's your dad?

[A]

American.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I was like, yeah, I knew from. Wow.

[B]

Because he doesn't look all.

[C]

Well, you just don't. Don't look Latin at all.

[A]

Yeah, I know.

[C]

I would have guessed Irish.

[A]

I have, I. I do have a lot of.

[B]

He's super crackery, by the way.

[C]

You're so white, Tom. Like, what?

[B]

And this is his festive outfit. He. He will. He said this is his good mood outfit today.

[C]

I like it.

[B]

The colors. Do you like the colors?

[C]

He chose your white shirt for the white guy.

[A]

Do you like this fucking vampire look?

[C]

I actually loved. I called you.

[A]

Yeah, we got the memo.

[C]

We got the memo. I'm wearing like, oh, my God, I love your outfit.

[B]

This is the Eddie Monster. This is the fucking coolest jacket.

[C]

It's badass.

[B]

You're so jealous.

[A]

So jealous.

[C]

I was like, I was a little emo kid and I love all the weird. I love Tim Burton, all that stuff.

[A]

You look like you know where to get heroin. That's what you look like.

[B]

Good. I wish.

[C]

From Dracula.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Tim Burton. That's so. That's. I had this thought last night. I was laying in bed, the waiting room. So I have to go to radiation after this. So I'm like a little nervous. But the Waiting rooms are so depressing because they're always like, beige. And there's always old people, old guys with their bruised legs and their dry skin. Lots of moaning, lots of moaning.

[A]

There's always grunts.

[B]

And I'm like, the always the youngest one there. And I hate it. Thinking today how much better it would be if Tim Burton designed the waiting room. Like, you know, Beetlejuice with.

[C]

With like the weird, like, skinny, like, tiny little shrunken heads and the stripes. Black and white stripes and like. Yeah, I'm with you. I love. I would always love Tim Burton.

[B]

I would pay for a themed radiation.

[C]

Like, you already feel like that anyway. You might as well just commit to the. Like, to the. To the bit.

[B]

It's depressing.

[C]

That's exactly what it is.

[A]

That's.

[B]

It feels like to go get radiation on your tits. You're just sitting there on deaths, waiting.

[A]

Christina has radiation from her for cancer treatment. I just got even a more serious thing. I had my Invisalign taken off. And I gotta tell you, it's a bitch. Sucks.

[C]

I'm not gonna lie. I had an okay. I'm not. We're not comparing radiation at all.

[A]

Yeah, we should, but you go ahead.

[C]

I cannot.

[A]

It's terrible.

[C]

I cannot relate to radiation. I. I'm not gonna say I wish I could. I hope I don't have to one day, but I do have family that's been through it.

[A]

You had a missile, Tom.

[C]

I feel like an right now. No, no.

[A]

But have you had a misaligned.

[C]

God, Christina, I'm so sorry. Yes, I have.

[A]

It's worse than cancer. It's worse than cancer. It is. It is. It is. And we. We definitely.

[C]

It's painful.

[A]

It's very painful.

[C]

But you haven't had a menstrual, so I don't know about that.

[A]

Or give birth.

[C]

I haven't done that yet. God.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Epidural.

[A]

I'll put.

[B]

Yeah, but I still felt.

[C]

It's not weak. It's not weak. Give me the invisible needle is where I'm at. But no Invisaligner, because the sick part is they ache for so long, and.

[A]

Then when they take them off, and.

[C]

Then it feels like they spring back.

[A]

Oh, my God. They're scraping and suction and you feel the nerves shooting up in your mouth and you're like, fucking give me chemo. This is the worst thing I've ever felt in my life.

[B]

Describe baby pussies. Is that right?

[A]

Yeah. You have no idea. You could. You can never talk until you get invisalign.

[C]

Oh, wait, so you're Hungarian?

[B]

You know what? Kendall, she is. I go back to.

[C]

I know. No, no, go. I know, I know. I deserved it.

[B]

You know what I deserve? Trouble. I.

[C]

That was. I was tagged in that so many times. You're trouble. Yeah, I know. I kind of am.

[B]

No, you're amazing. We love you. We're so proud. I'm good for you.

[A]

Do you want to show her anything you want to show? No.

[B]

Oh, my tick tock. Yeah, I got it. I do have to go because I got to go.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So I don't know if you know my TikTok curations. I do like to showcase marginalized communities that don't have a voice. I give them a voice on Tik Tok.

[C]

That's. I mean, sorry.

[B]

On your mom's house is wonderful.

[C]

Okay, let's see.

[A]

Okay, here we go. Hey, angel. There you go. It's one of. That's. Actually, we pulled that from Kendall. From Kendall's dms.

[C]

Looked familiar. Guys. Did I submit that one?

[A]

So I don't know how that makes you feel, but this is going to be a roller coaster ride.

[C]

Okay. Okay, I'm ready. Matthew and I don't drink, but we do drink when it's all inclusive. This is our first drink of the night. Oh, no. I love these. Coke with Malibu. Good suggestion. This is our second drink of the day. Pina coladas. I. I really don't drink that much at all anymore. I did a little sober bit for a while. Yeah, it was good for my mental.

[B]

Of course she doesn't look how she looks. There's no.

[C]

But I'll. I occasionally love a spicy mark.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I love a glass of wine.

[B]

We don't drink, but we're doing. It's all inclusive. Which is actually the worst time to drink because they're putting the cheapest. It's the cheapest stuff.

[C]

And it's all sugar. Yeah, I'm like. No know drink when you're at. Like when you're in Europe.

[A]

Headache. Booze.

[C]

Yeah. No, no. They're going to. They're going to be. They're going to be spinning before they even get out of the pool.

[B]

And dehydration.

[C]

I know. Just cooked on the beach.

[B]

Gravity from Magic Kingdom having a spooky treat.

[A]

We're having the candy corn soft serve.

[B]

Summer. The sweet corn soft serve with butterscotch shell and candy corn.

[C]

Hi, everyone.

[B]

We're contemporary resort, but we picked up this beautiful chocolate mint cookie at Bayview Gifts.

[A]

Pro tip, because it's a merchandise location you get your passholder discount on any snacks or cookies. Just so you know, you're reacting completely the way you're supposed to.

[C]

I. I will tell you, she reminds me. I love. I love that they're spooky people because I. I vibe with that. So that's cool. Like, I'm like, okay, sort of brethren. But she reminds me of squeaky from, you know. Do I. I love true crime and I read Helter Skelter in the grade. Oh, my God. It.

[A]

It.

[C]

It literally changed seventh grade my brain chemistry.

[A]

Did you watch the Lacy Peterson doc?

[C]

Oh, my God, yes. He's such an.

[A]

He's such an arrogant about the sister being like, yeah, you know, we're trying to get him out.

[C]

Here's my theory. I think she wants to him her brother. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Well, it's a sister in law.

[B]

Oh, of course. She's in love with.

[C]

Yeah. Is that weird? Behind bars. Charismatic. He's a total narcissist. He's a total sociopath.

[B]

He's attractive, unfortunately.

[C]

That's why. Well, that's how they can do it. That's how the serial killers do it. So was. What's his face?

[A]

Bundy.

[B]

So cute.

[A]

Yeah. But you're watch because, you know, we all remembered this story, like, sort of hazily. You're like, oh, I remember that story. And then you're watching it and you get to see interrogation footage. And it's. It's the day. It's the day that it's Christmas Eve and he's reported her missing. And he's like, yeah, when took the boat out, he goes, I went fishing.

[C]

But I bought one today.

[A]

I hope you guys, you know, I hope we find her. And they're like, all right. So he's like, yeah.

[B]

So that would be Tom's confession.

[A]

No.

[B]

Hey, Christina's missing.

[A]

No, I would not.

[B]

Tom, your wife is missing.

[A]

What?

[B]

What?

[A]

My wife?

[C]

No, my wife. Very Borat.

[B]

That's better. That's better.

[A]

And then you look up and you go.

[C]

And then you text your side chick.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

God, it is wild.

[A]

House is empty.

[B]

Dude. It's not.

[C]

Here's the good thing, though, is you would haunt his ass so bad.

[B]

Would I though, Kendall? Would I. I just move on.

[C]

You feel like there's hotter men in the afterlife.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, that's that exactly.

[C]

I've always wondered. I'm like, if you get murdered and it's a terrible way to go. Like, if you get to the other side, whatever's over there, is it like, listen, you came out. I'm sorry how it ended for you. She's ready for your pick of the litter.

[A]

She's ready for the afterlife guy today, so don't even.

[C]

She's ready for Patrick Swayze and Ghost. Aren't we all?

[A]

God?

[B]

He is on the other side for sure.

[C]

Patrick Swayze.

[B]

We dance together. The Dirty Dancing.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Nobody puts Baby in a corner. Nobody puts Christina in a corner. In a ditch.

[B]

In a date. Oh, I got. All right, let's talk about this.

[A]

Oh, no, you got. You got it. Just say it. Who is it? No, say it. It's on the tip of your tongue.

[B]

I like weirdos. Dark.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Dark weirdos.

[C]

I feel like you'd go for, like.

[A]

I can't say.

[C]

I had a massive crush on Jim Morrison. I was a weird kid, right?

[B]

Like, that kind. I like that. She's on my vibe. Yes.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Young. But do you get to be young in the afterlife? I don't want to be the age I am.

[C]

I'm like, when you die, do you die at, like, do you go to the afterlife? I. In. In the age that you were. That's.

[B]

I hope not.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I would choose 28, which I think you're.

[C]

20.

[B]

20. Perfect. 20.

[C]

It's a good one. I'm past that now. But Leonardo DiCaprio will no longer date me. No, I don't want that. Oh, my God. I know. I should be put to pasture.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

She's an old hag.

[A]

Gross.

[B]

Okay, I got it. Sorry, we gotta finish up.

[C]

Oh, no.

[A]

Okay. I don't understand what's turning you off about this. This guy licked his fingers.

[B]

I can't. I just.

[C]

You are not Channing Tatum, okay? Like, he's trying to give Match Mike vibes.

[B]

I'd rather cut both my tits off again.

[C]

Also, the 2005 sunglasses are getting me. It's rough.

[B]

We are at the airport, and check this out. I have this amazing buckwheat salad that I just made.

[A]

What do we got?

[B]

Look at this. We have my buckwheat salad on the go.

[A]

A bunch of sprouts at the airport.

[B]

Buckwheat in a plastic bag.

[C]

Plastic bag is what's throwing me with the latex gloves.

[B]

And she has latex gloves as she travels.

[A]

I'm gonna throw. I would call tsa, be like, you need to arrest this.

[C]

But how did she get that through? That's more than three ounces of dressing.

[B]

Healthy travel.

[A]

Where are we at?

[B]

We are in Miami Airport.

[A]

That's why.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm. I'm happier with.

[A]

There's people Walking by. Is that a buckwheat salad?

[C]

Like.

[A]

What in the.

[C]

That is six ounces. That did not use my hands. The way she's like putting her.

[A]

That's amazing.

[B]

I think she might be in my lis. She is my sweetie.

[A]

That was a great tag.

[B]

This guy's the best. Hi, sweetie. Oh, just to everybody.

[C]

Strong black coffee.

[B]

Best drink of the day. There she is.

[C]

Best drink of the day.

[A]

Imagine if she talk one of your classes. One of your topless classes.

[C]

I think I should hire her.

[B]

Should I?

[C]

Should I send her a recruiting message?

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Can I tell you?

[C]

Are you ready to be fit? Wait, what?

[B]

I don't want no cigarette.

[C]

Oh, this is definitely New York.

[A]

I want a watermelon. I want a sweet, sweet, sweet. Hit it.

[B]

Why does he have to hold his foot up?

[C]

I don't know why he has to put.

[A]

I think he's trying to get you to imagine that he's like representing what he wants to see, which is a woman like that.

[C]

I guess he's manifesting in that respect.

[A]

And we salute you, sir. I know of the firefighters and fbn. I'm sure they're proud to have you as the spokesman again.

[C]

I think it could be a sexy red song.

[A]

It could be Watermelon Pussy is really catchy.

[C]

Yeah, you're right. Her chapsticks. She has one that's called Booty Hole Brown.

[A]

That's really nice. Yeah, that's lovely.

[B]

I do have to.

[A]

Okay. Kendall Tool. Thank you for coming. Follow her at Kendall Tool. Check out the Wholeheartedly with Kendall and Gailey podcast. Thanks so much for coming in today. See you guys next week.

[C]

Do a dance for you, Do a dance for you.

[B]

Hey, come on and give me a hand job to do a dance for you.

[C]

Do dance for you.

[A]

Dance for you Mother fucker.

[C]

Motherfuckers and you assholes.

[A]

Mother motherfuckers and you asshole.

[B]

That made you feel bad?

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Not the. That's my pee hole. That's where the spit comes out of. Mark.

[A]

No.

[B]

That doesn't freak you out.

[A]

This does.

[B]

This does.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Wow. Dance for you Do a dance for you yeah, come on and give me a hand job too Do a dance for you do this for you.

[A]

Dance.

[B]

For you do this for you. Hey, come on now Give me a hand job to do a dance for you Do a dance for you.

[A]

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