The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800

Summary

Summary of "Your Mom's House" Episode 800 - "The High and Tight"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
• Host/Authors: YMH Studios (Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura)
• Episode: The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
• Release Date: March 5, 2025

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Introduction

In their landmark 800th episode, Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura celebrate the monumental milestone of "Your Mom's House." The hosts express immense gratitude to their loyal listeners, reminiscing about their podcast's evolution over the past 15 years.

Tom Segura [00:00]: "I've been looking forward to this for a long time. Not everybody could do this. We're thankful for you, for being a viewer, a supporter of this show."

Celebrating 800 Episodes

Christina and Tom reflect on their journey from newlyweds living in an apartment in Silver Lake to becoming parents and enduring personal losses. They humorously recount how their lives have intertwined with the podcast's growth, highlighting significant moments and challenges they've faced together.

Christina P. [02:02]: "It's just so many episodes. It's a blur."

Tom Segura [02:04]: "It's been through a really huge part of our life."

They share anecdotes about moving homes, having two children, and coping with family deaths, emphasizing the podcast's role as a constant amidst life's changes.

Promoting YMH Live 10

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to promoting "YMH Live 10," scheduled for March 7th. The hosts detail the event's highlights, including special guests, original sketches, and a $10,000 giveaway.

Tom Segura [03:08]: "Real quick to let Everybody know in two days. It is March 7th and that means YMH Live 10 is coming."

They announce comedian Dan Soder as a live guest and tease exclusive VIP post-show events with Josh Potter. The excitement builds as they mention other performers like Charo and Will Blunderfeld, promising an unforgettable live experience.

Christina P. [04:00]: "We're doing for this YMH Live are I think the best we've ever done."

Tom Segura [04:12]: "We brought Ton John to town. So he came to town."

Reflections on Past Episodes and Memorable Moments

The hosts take a nostalgic dive into some of their favorite moments from the last 800 episodes, revisiting iconic discussions and hilarious segments.

Tribute to Nadav

A heartfelt tribute is paid to Nadav Itzkowitz, their former producer who tragically passed away. Christina and Tom share fond memories and express their deep sense of loss, highlighting Nadav's impact on the show.

Christina P. [41:34]: "Rest in peace, Nadav."

Tom Segura [42:17]: "We hope you're okay up in heaven. It's just really sad that he's dead."

They reflect on Nadav's contributions since 2016, celebrating his role in the show's success and remembering his unique personality.

Fartgate and Airtight Abby

The infamous "Fartgate" incident involving their technical director, Any, is revisited with both humor and seriousness. The hosts discuss the complexities of dealing with deceit within their team, showcasing their ability to handle controversies with their signature comedic flair.

Tom Segura [52:20]: "This exists forever."

Christina P. [53:11]: "He's a liar. And Chad was right."

They also reminisce about Airtight Abby, a guest known for her adventurous nature, sharing humorous and shocking stories that left a lasting impression on both the hosts and the audience.

Guest Interactions and Anecdotes

Throughout the episode, Christina and Tom recount memorable interactions with notable guests such as Dan Soder, Dave Chappelle, Will Blunderfeld, Gene Simmons, and the Insane Clown Posse (ICP). These stories highlight the diverse and entertaining range of personalities that have appeared on their podcast.

Will Blunderfeld [35:37]: "I just want to know what kind of cigarettes you smoke."

Dan Soder [35:37]: "You got to push the button, big man."

A particularly entertaining segment involves their interactions with Dave Chappelle, sharing behind-the-scenes moments and funny encounters that fans cherish.

Will Blunderfeld [36:42]: "I always want to know what kind of cigarettes you smoke."

Tom's UK and Ireland Tour Announcement

Tom Segura takes a moment to announce his upcoming UK and Ireland tour, providing dates and venues. He invites listeners to join him live, adding another layer of excitement to the episode.

Tom Segura [25:14]: "I'll be in Dublin this Saturday, March 15, at 3Arena, Belfast for two shows at Waterfront hall on March 16."

Humorous Banter and Comedic Highlights

The episode is filled with the hosts' trademark humor, playful teasing, and candid conversations. From mock disputes about personal habits to light-hearted jabs at past controversies, Christina and Tom keep the energy high and the laughter flowing.

Tom Segura [63:30]: "He gave him the prettiest old lady."

Christina P. [75:51]: "You can do that."

Their chemistry is palpable as they navigate through various topics, blending storytelling with improvisational comedy that keeps both long-time listeners and new fans engaged.

Conclusion and Closing Remarks

As the episode winds down, Christina and Tom express their enthusiasm for continuing the podcast and look forward to future episodes. They reiterate their appreciation for the audience's support and invite listeners to join them for upcoming events, particularly the eagerly anticipated YMH Live 10.

Tom Segura [79:12]: "We look forward to doing it more and hopefully we'll see many of you on March 7th."

Christina P. [79:22]: "Bye, Mommy."

The hosts sign off with their characteristic blend of humor and warmth, leaving listeners excited for what's to come.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Tom Segura [00:10]: "It's been a long transformation without you. Our genes are low and loose. And if she let me eat her."

• Christina P. [02:23]: "We've had your Invisalign."

• Tom Segura [02:24]: "Invisalign is really what. I think. This sticks with us."

• Tom Segura [04:06]: "It's other level. I mean it's."

• Will Blunderfeld [35:37]: "Let me know what kind of cigarettes you smoke."

• Christina P. [41:44]: "Rest in peace, Nadav."

• Tom Segura [53:02]: "What's your pronoun? What's their product?"

• Tom Segura [63:31]: "He didn’t know that was a boy."

• Tom Segura [74:16]: "I did my own research."

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Key Takeaways

• Milestone Achievement: Celebrating 800 episodes signifies the show's enduring popularity and the strong bond between the hosts and their audience.

• YMH Live 10: The upcoming live event promises to be the show's largest yet, featuring special guests, unique performances, and substantial giveaways.

• Memorable Moments: Reflecting on past episodes, especially tributes to lost team members and revisiting notorious incidents like "Fartgate," showcases the show's ability to balance humor with heartfelt moments.

• Guest Highlights: Interactions with high-profile guests add depth and diversity to the podcast, offering listeners a mix of comedic and insightful conversations.

• Continuous Growth: Announcements of Tom Segura's tour and plans for future episodes indicate ongoing growth and the show's commitment to delivering engaging content.

---

Conclusion

Episode 800 of "Your Mom's House" stands as a testament to Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura's dedication to their craft and their audience. Through laughter, reflection, and anticipation for future endeavors, the hosts honor the past while eagerly embracing what lies ahead. This milestone episode not only celebrates their impressive achievements but also reinforces the podcast's place as a beloved staple in the comedy community.

Transcript

[Tom Segura]

I've been looking forward to this for a long time. Not everybody could do this. We're thankful for you, for being a viewer, a supporter of this show.

[Christina P.]

It's been a long transformation without you. Our genes are low and loose. And if she let me eat her.

[Tom Segura]

Booty, yeah, I'mma eat her booty. Your mom's house. Live bitch. Y makes live is so exciting. This is our first one in a while. This is a big, big episode. I love you. Yeah, I don't anymore. Well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.

[Christina P.]

I'm ready for my life to change.

[Ryan]

ABC Sunday, American Idol returns.

[Tom Segura]

Give it your all. Good luck. Come out with a golden ticket. Let's hear it.

[Dan Soder]

This is immense world.

[Christina P.]

I've never seen anything like it. And a new chapter begins.

[Tom Segura]

You're going to Hollywood.

[Christina P.]

Carrie Underwood joins Lionel Richie, Luke Bryant.

[Ryan]

And Ryan Seacrest on American idol. Season premieres Sunday, 8. 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.

[Tom Segura]

What's everybody, it's time for the 800th episode. Your mom's house. Isn't that wild.

[Christina P.]

So many jeans.

[Tom Segura]

It's so crazy.

[Christina P.]

We found 800 different ways to talk about brown injuries. Cool, guys.

[Tom Segura]

So amazing. Mental illness, 800 episodes.

[Christina P.]

Sexual things.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it's pretty cool. So today, yeah, this marks the 800th time we've done this podcast that's amazed. Which I. I can't even wrap my head around that.

[Christina P.]

It's just so many episodes. It's a blur.

[Tom Segura]

That's a blur. It's been through really a huge part of our life. I mean, that's all of it. We've been doing this roughly 15 years now. So this was like. We were. We were. We were married, but we had just gotten married.

[Christina P.]

Newlyweds.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Basically.

[Tom Segura]

We were in an apartment in Silver Lake. This took us through. We've had two kids.

[Christina P.]

I know.

[Tom Segura]

Family deaths.

[Christina P.]

Yep.

[Tom Segura]

We've had so many. We've moved homes. We've moved states.

[Christina P.]

We've had your Invisalign.

[Tom Segura]

Invisalign? Which one? I would say of the last 15 years, the most traumatic thing that happened to either of us was Invisalign.

[Christina P.]

To anybody.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Yeah. Especially when they came off. I really hated that hurt so bad. You had some other shit. But Invisalign is really what. I think. This sticks with us.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. So we're going to discuss some of those things. And plus, you know, there's, you know, other, you know, I'm saying, you know, 19 virus. There's a bunch of things that we can talk about.

[Christina P.]

You Know what I'm saying?

[Tom Segura]

Real quick to let Everybody know in two days. It is March 7th and that means YMH Live 10 is coming. It is back. YMH Live is back. 7:30pm Central Time. It's our biggest one yet. We're going to tell you some of the amazing details in a moment. But we have the great Dan Soder. One of the funniest comedians working today is joining us live in studio. Of course, there are brand new original sketches and things that we've shot. We're giving away $10,000. You can go to ymhstudios.com for more information. There. Grab your tick and we will announce the winner live on the show right before the heavy segment. And don't miss the exclusive VIP post show with the great cockroach Josh Potter. So that's all happening March 7th right here. YMHStudios.com these sketches, by the way, that.

[Christina P.]

We'Re doing for this YMH Live are I think the best we've ever done.

[Tom Segura]

It is.

[Christina P.]

It's so good.

[Tom Segura]

It's other level. I mean it's. We should just say it. Who's gonna be appearing? Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Dare we?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. I think it's worth saying that we brought. We brought Ton John to town. So he came to town.

[Christina P.]

He came to Austin and did a sketch with us.

[Tom Segura]

He did. He came to town. And we also have appreciating my and my balls. The great Will Blunderfeld. And he's close friend y life partner, life coach. I'm shameless, I'm fearless. I'm doubtless.

[Christina P.]

That's what he says after he eats his comrade.

[Tom Segura]

And yeah, it's shameless.

[Christina P.]

I'm fearless, I'm doubtless.

[Tom Segura]

That is one of the times he says that. A really juicy anus workshop. Let's just say we.

[Christina P.]

It's so good.

[Tom Segura]

We had a workshop with him. It's incredible. And on top of that, on top of all that, we have the one and only.

[Christina P.]

What's up there?

[Tom Segura]

Chomo chara. You like it?

[Christina P.]

Tata there.

[Tom Segura]

Charo did an amazing bid and me. So we have that. We have another. A crazy short film that we made. It's not even a sketch. It's a short film. It's the biggest one we've ever done and we're super excited. So I hope you'll join us. And of course, I always have to remind people and I'm happy to do it. A lot of people worry because it's called YMH Live. They're like, what if I Can't be there live. You can still watch the show after the original live version. If you get a ticket. You could watch it Saturday, Sunday, month the next week. It's viewable for you anytime. It's just if you want to be there live as it happens, it's going to be 7:30pm Central on March 7th.

[Christina P.]

It's amazing. It's amazing.

[Tom Segura]

It's amazing. You ready to start the show?

[Christina P.]

Amaze. Of course.

[Tom Segura]

All right, Here you go.

[Christina P.]

Of course.

[Josh Potter]

I just got my second foot job of all time. So let's talk about it and read it 1 through 10. Unfortunately, I would have to give this a 7 out of 10. I did finish from it, surprisingly. And I did love it. I don't know, it's just something about the grip on the bottom of the feet, like the calluses and when they curve it and grip it, it feels so good to me. I don't even look at the feet. I make eye contact the whole entire time. Last time I didn't like it because she was the older lady, but this time she was my age. So I think that made a difference for sure.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

That would. That would make all the difference.

[Tom Segura]

Don't bring anyone mother to this.

[Will Blunderfeld]

Your mom in the wel.

[Tom Segura]

Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.

[Christina P.]

Oh, get it Tom with Tom Segura, Mom Sagura and Christina Pajit. Welcome to your mom's house. Easy money given for jobs I would do. That's easy.

[Tom Segura]

Jack people up.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

With my paws.

[Christina P.]

So easy. Easy.

[Josh Potter]

I did finish from it, surprisingly.

[Tom Segura]

So. It's pretty cool that he. My favorite thing is a young person going like this is some things I'll put out. Like this is your digital footprint forever. No pun intended. That like. Yeah. I got a couple foot jobs recently and you just do an online review of them for people.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Because is there is the community so vast and various that they need a reviewer? It's not like buying a car, I don't think.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. He's also. He looks like he's fucking 19.

[Christina P.]

I know.

[Tom Segura]

This is. He's going to go in for an interview at some point. Where are you the foot job review guy or.

[Christina P.]

Or even a lady?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Maybe a dating person down the road.

[Tom Segura]

Is like, why did you feel compelled to post this?

[Josh Potter]

I don't know what it is. I can't really explain it. Like the grip is weird, the texture is weird. Definitely weird. But it feels good. It's like trying octopus or squid. Like it's definitely different but it tastes good. I will say the clarity Does. I will say the clarity does hit a lot harder than normal because it's like, damn, did I really just do that to a pair of feet? I didn't ask to do it this time. I was never going to ask again. She asked and I thought she was joking, but she actually kept on asking. So I was like, fuck it, let's do it.

[Tom Segura]

Fuck it. Oh, well, that's cool. It is. I'll also, I'll say this. His analogy was fantastic.

[Christina P.]

Yes, it is.

[Tom Segura]

Like trying squid or octopus. Like, this is not the normal thing I do.

[Christina P.]

Well, he was saying too that the older brought has calluses, which definitely that adds up. It's just inevitable over time.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

You know, but how does she get the grip with the feet?

[Tom Segura]

Practice. You just got to practice.

[Christina P.]

That's what I'm wondering is how do you get a firm grip with the. The middles of your feet?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

I'll show you. So anyway, it's cool that I have a feeling this is just my assumption here.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

This is not the only review this man has left. It'd be kind of maybe worth exploring what other reviews he puts. There's no way he's just like living life and decided this is a one off.

[Christina P.]

No, no, no.

[Tom Segura]

This is. This person probably has a bunch of cool reviews.

[Christina P.]

It's really risky to put it out there at 19.

[Tom Segura]

It's pretty young. He's young.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. He's not at the end of his.

[Tom Segura]

Life where he's made his money and yeah, the. The young doing. Doing, you know, real. Not realizing what they're doing. So this is one lane where he's like, obviously like talking about busting nuts. Here's another way young and. And kind of ruin things.

[Christina P.]

What did you say? What did you say about Mexican man?

[Tom Segura]

It just snapped, you know what? 1444. Hammered 14 men. Hell Hitler.

[Christina P.]

Oh, oh. Do you have a.

[Tom Segura]

You go 1444.

[Christina P.]

Look, 1444. Yeah, exactly.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. You guys don't ask.

[Christina P.]

Don't know. Don't listen to him. No, no, no, no, no.

[Tom Segura]

Fat girl.

[Christina P.]

Fat girl.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

What?

[Tom Segura]

What?

[Christina P.]

Go say something about Mexicans. Say something about them.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, Mexicans.

[Christina P.]

No, exactly. Say something. That's why you came. You want to know something about Mexicans? Yeah, say something.

[Tom Segura]

You goddamn beaners should be sliced at the throw at the border. We should slice you goddamn beers at the throat. You want to know why? Come here.

[Christina P.]

Bring the. Bring the camera. No, I'm listening. I'm listening. Bring the camera in. Yeah, I'm listening.

[Tom Segura]

We're listening. Everyone is. You Goddamn beer should be sliced at their throat. What?

[Christina P.]

Listen. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Because you guys are. Goddamn border hopper.

[Christina P.]

Wow. What. What's your name again? What's your name again? He shouldn't be drinking. He's only 21 years old. And he.

[Tom Segura]

See, that sets you up for life.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

This. This exists forever.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. It's a good one.

[Tom Segura]

It's a good one to put out there.

[Christina P.]

That's a good one. Because, you know, in the 90s, maybe every now and then you'd meet a rando like that.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And you're like, that guy's just up. And then you talk about it for years.

[Tom Segura]

But this. Yeah. You'd be like, remember the guy?

[Christina P.]

Remember that guy? That.

[Tom Segura]

And then you could be like, this guy. This is the guy here.

[Christina P.]

Let me pass this around.

[Tom Segura]

No. And his life is over. His employment possibilities, his whole career trajectory.

[Christina P.]

It's so fucking Bryce. Border hopper Price just destroyed his future. And he probably had a good one because he's wearing a nice polo button.

[Tom Segura]

That might be a work. That looks like it's an actual. It's not like a choice from his closet. He might have been working this event, you know, and tied one on. Yeah. Like when his boss probably like, whoa, wait a minute. What are you doing?

[Christina P.]

Wow. And not only that, I had a lot of notes. Yes. What's really interesting is that he pulled out beaner, which is old school.

[Tom Segura]

It's old school. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

So somebody older than him is training him.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Is what I'm thinking.

[Tom Segura]

The kids for today, they don't know beaner. No, he is. He comes from a cool line of people, right? Yeah.

[Christina P.]

His mom and dad are saying this crap.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. It's not just him, man. It's pretty cool.

[Christina P.]

1444.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

What's this?

[Tom Segura]

Stupid. That's. He had it all. He hit. He got Hitler.

[Christina P.]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

He said, fat, you fat bitches up. He said to kill people at the Slice their throats. I thought he was going to be like, you know why? This is slice your throats to the border. This is Mexican food's delicious.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Like, I thought he was going to turn it to the food, but. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Which is true.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. He's hearing this speech.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

From dad, I think, or uncle. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

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[Tom Segura]

McDonald's hot crispy fries right as they're being scooped into the carton? And time stands still. The taking our job speech is the stupidest thing, the oldest, dumbest I know. Ignorant speech of all.

[Christina P.]

It really is.

[Tom Segura]

They're not coming here, taking the jobs. We want the gardening jobs. What job do you want? To pick strawberries? Like, you realize that, like, these people are willing to work 18 hours a day and not complain for all this. That you. It's unbelievable. But no. Anyway.

[Christina P.]

But the problem is this guy never knew any beaners. You know what I mean? He didn't grow up around Mexicans.

[Tom Segura]

Right.

[Christina P.]

The way that I did. You did. In Latin culture. He does not know. No respect.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

For them.

[Tom Segura]

No. He has no respect.

[Christina P.]

No. No knowledge. He doesn't know any Mexicans.

[Tom Segura]

That's true.

[Christina P.]

The country club. He grew up. And he never met him.

[Tom Segura]

He didn't. He's gonna. He's gonna get to know some now. He's gonna have a whole new life experience now.

[Christina P.]

You know one good thing.

[Tom Segura]

Are you the guy they're gonna go, are you the guy that said, goddamn border hopper? Is that you?

[Christina P.]

Is that you? Because I was gonna say that the one bright spot about MAGA and Donald Trump returning to office is that now these cool clips are resurfacing.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Of a lot of Hitler clips. A lot of, you know, get them out of the country. They're taking our job clips. Those are really surfacing up now.

[Tom Segura]

It's making people poke their chest out again.

[Christina P.]

Getting comfortable.

[Tom Segura]

Well, get comfortable with it. You're gonna have a whole cool bunch of things happen in your life. It's fun that you're young enough that you get to Experience a full life now. Yeah. So anyway, we were. There's so many cool things to review and talk about. One of the things we were going to do is talk about some of the best moments of the last 100 episodes. One of the first things that comes to mind is episode 704. This is when Ryan and Annie challenged each other to basketball. That was awesome. Do you remember? Is that. I remember how I couldn't believe how competitive any was. Like, you really dug deep. First of all, you were like one of the only black guys I ever knew that was like, I'm not good at basketball.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I didn't play. It wasn't my obsession, like growing up.

[Ryan]

Like, you just had any. Yes. Well, that's my other half talking.

[Tom Segura]

All right.

[Ryan]

I got two sides to this shit.

[Tom Segura]

Right, so. But then you were like, I cannot let my black half down.

[Ryan]

Exactly.

[Tom Segura]

And I'm going to go all in.

[Ryan]

Exactly. Like, you know, the white man was talking for a minute and then he said, any amount, any amount of money. And Blackstar was like, you don't take that, nigga. You going to do that? Yeah, I'm just clown.

[Tom Segura]

You like that.

[Ryan]

I'm like, no, fuck that. All right.

[Tom Segura]

But you committed, you committed.

[Ryan]

Hell yeah. Then I fucking, I went to go. What's it called to that coach? Yeah, Mr. Jasper motherfucker trained me.

[Tom Segura]

A former pro, right? Wasn't he a pro? He was a like international player or something.

[Ryan]

Yeah, he was. Fuck was he? Is it Denmark or some shit? But yeah, he was like 3v3 pro or something.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And yeah, he was great. But I mean, I told him as soon as I met him, I'm like, look, man, I got no fundamentals. I got no nothing. Just show me like one thing that I could do and I'll just do that.

[Tom Segura]

Be honest. Be honest. When I asked you. Yeah, yeah. How did you describe your opponent it to him?

[Ryan]

I told him to watch. I told him to look, you're like.

[Tom Segura]

Here'S a white guy. He's kind of.

[Christina P.]

He's old ass white guy.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I was like, well, because he, he watched like, yo, he was invested, man. He got super invested into the, into the show. So he found the show, he saw the whole thing and then he told me stuff where he's like, God, I forget what he said, but he was like, yeah, the way that he talked about backing you up and then like lobbing it or some. She's like, people don't say that. Like, he said he was. He played in college. He did not play in College. He's lying. So I think. I think you might have a chance here. Well, I think what to do.

[Tom Segura]

I think what Ryan was saying then was that he. He didn't claim to play on a. Like, a college team, is that he played basketball in. In other words, not for the school, but it was just, like, part of his.

[Ryan]

You mean, like. I mean, like, he played in the gym. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Like pickup games. Yeah.

[Ryan]

That's a weird way to say that, but yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think when you say I played in college, that usually kind of means.

[Tom Segura]

Right, Right. If somebody goes, I played in college there, they're saying, right.

[Ryan]

It's like, I got you, got you, gotcha. And that's why I understood. I'm like, yo, any amount of money, I get it. Like, especially after I really did start to learn the game, I'm like, all right. Like, real talk, though, if he was some.

[Tom Segura]

Did you play any more after that?

[Ryan]

No, not once.

[Tom Segura]

That was it.

[Ryan]

Not once. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

It was your mission.

[Ryan]

Yeah, man. I don't like basketball.

[Tom Segura]

It's a good.

[Christina P.]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

It is still. It was such a fun day. It was such a.

[Christina P.]

You don't swim, right?

[Ryan]

In studio to try.

[Tom Segura]

Go ahead. Go ahead, get in there.

[Christina P.]

You don't. You don't go in the ocean.

[Ryan]

I don't swim either, but I guess what. I'll beat you in some last, too. Oh, let's get it.

[Tom Segura]

Ryan. You are the Ryan that everyone's talking about. So do you want to comment on anything that's been being said here?

[Annie]

I'm sitting there in my office listening to everything.

[Ryan]

Can we hear him? You got to push the button, big man.

[Christina P.]

You're good.

[Tom Segura]

You're good.

[Annie]

I'm sitting in my office listening to everything he's saying. He's just lying left and right.

[Tom Segura]

Yes. He's good at that. By the way, we also discuss one of the things we'll get to is that en. He's a huge liar. Go ahead.

[Ryan]

Ryan can be.

[Tom Segura]

Geez.

[Annie]

He also lied, saying that he wasn't training, he wasn't doing.

[Ryan]

I never said that. I never said I wasn't trying. I never said it.

[Tom Segura]

I.

[Ryan]

But I did.

[Tom Segura]

What did you say?

[Ryan]

I didn't say anything. I didn't say anything. No one said anything about training or not training.

[Annie]

You just said what you were doing. You said nothing.

[Ryan]

No, you did not. When did you ask me that? Was it on the show? No.

[Tom Segura]

You can't be trusted.

[Annie]

So anything I'm saying.

[Tom Segura]

Was it on the show?

[Annie]

No, it wasn't on the show.

[Ryan]

Exactly.

[Annie]

I work with you all day. Unfortunately, I talk to you a lot.

[Ryan]

You never asked.

[Annie]

I'm forced to.

[Ryan]

You never asked.

[Annie]

Forget about that.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Annie]

You saying that I played in college. I would have never said I played in college.

[Ryan]

Oh, I'm pretty sure we have that on tape.

[Annie]

To find it, I'll give you $1,000 of my own money.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, my God.

[Annie]

Right now.

[Tom Segura]

I'll give you.

[Ryan]

Well, I don't have a way to look it up right now, but you.

[Tom Segura]

Have a thousand reasons.

[Nadav]

I think you did say that, though.

[Annie]

No, I didn't.

[Tom Segura]

But wait a minute. Here's the thing, though, because we can get into the semantics of this. Did. Are you saying that he was like, I played basketball when I was in college, or I. I played college ball.

[Annie]

I definitely didn't say I played college ball because that'd be a straight line. Anyone could look it up. But I also didn't say that I played in college.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Annie]

I played in high school.

[Tom Segura]

You know.

[Ryan]

You know. You know what? I will.

[Tom Segura]

I do remember him saying he played in high school. I do remember that.

[Annie]

Very different.

[Tom Segura]

Yes.

[Ryan]

Maybe. What? Maybe what happened was that maybe Tom said that you. You did. And so I was like, that's where I heard it. Blame it on Tom.

[Annie]

Okay?

[Ryan]

Either way, I definitely heard that because he. The coach was saying, why don't you play me again?

[Annie]

Now that I'm actually back in shape. My knees are blown out.

[Tom Segura]

That's what it was. Gon.

[Annie]

It's easy.

[Ryan]

Please.

[Tom Segura]

Wait, wait. What does that mean? Translate that for us. What does that mean?

[Ryan]

It means no, no, but can I get paid?

[Annie]

No, no, you chose not to get paid.

[Ryan]

You chose not to chose what?

[Annie]

What happened with the hair? You could have had long locks of hair.

[Ryan]

What you mean you got scared? You said any amount of money. What happened?

[Annie]

No, you just wanted hair trap.

[Ryan]

No, no, I wanted. After you got scared, I wanted 10 GS. And y'all were like, that's an irresponsible amount of money. It's irresponsible for you to say any amount of money.

[Annie]

10 G's was remastered.

[Ryan]

10 G's, 10 G's, baby. 10 G's.

[Annie]

Even my head's about.

[Tom Segura]

If you. If you win a rematch.

[Ryan]

Hell, no. Ain't no rematch. 10 G's.

[Tom Segura]

You wouldn't do it for $10,000. I already.

[Ryan]

I already won $10,000. I'm out here. We're doing another one. So I could also not get paid for that.

[Annie]

So was the bet for hair implants or $10,000?

[Christina P.]

It was for hair implants.

[Ryan]

It was pretend. No, it was pretend.

[Tom Segura]

And then.

[Ryan]

And then y'all said that it was irresponsible, and then we had to change the amount.

[Tom Segura]

But wait a minute. It was for hair. The thing you were playing for was hair.

[Ryan]

But see, what I'm saying is we went to that because.

[Annie]

And then you. Then you chickened out because you didn't want. You heard of that. There was a little blood, little micro needles, and you're like, oh, that's scary.

[Christina P.]

Yes, you did. You got scared.

[Tom Segura]

You don't remember saying that you wanted this hair.

[Ryan]

What I'm saying is. Well, how this started was he's like, name any amount of money. Nadav was sitting in this chair, and you texted him that. And I said, Nigga, 10 GS. And then you were agreeing, and it was like, okay, well, you. Or you were saying, tom, that. Like, well, look, that's an irresponsible amount of money. Maybe we should do something else. So you forced. Y'all forced me to come up with something else. So I was like, I don't. The only thing I could think of is hair.

[Christina P.]

I guess we got to review the tape. Okay, I don't remember. I don't remember the conversation going that way. I remember asking, what do you want any? And he goes, I'd like to have hair.

[Tom Segura]

That's what.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, I don't.

[Tom Segura]

And I remember setting up all the hair stuff.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, we were going to send you to Turkey, and I remember that.

[Ryan]

Listen, I'm not saying I didn't, at a point, like, agree to that. I'm just saying that that's not what I originally bet.

[Annie]

Well, why don't you.

[Tom Segura]

Wait, you're saying bet. You're. You guys bet each other that amount?

[Ryan]

I. He said any amount of money. And he's like, that should be no problem. I could use a nice. What you say? Like a nice pool with some. I don't know.

[Annie]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I think the reason that. That.

[Ryan]

That.

[Tom Segura]

That was. That was shot down was that even though you won. Yes, you did. The idea that a boss. He's your employer, could take $10,000 if you had lost did feel like it's, like, an abuse to do so.

[Ryan]

Two things. Number one, don't say any amount of money, then, because when you're making a bet, if you're gonna say that, you better own up to it. Number two, I chose the money. I'm the one who chose the money.

[Annie]

You're not wrong. But we didn't shake hands on $10,000. That's my point. We started, yes. We started as going like, all right, any amount of money. And then to Tom's point, we settled on something that would be entertaining, not only for us, but something that you wanted and also something that felt like more of a bet.

[Tom Segura]

You did say, seemed thrilled at the hair idea.

[Ryan]

I thought, yeah, again, I thought that that might have been a cool thing because again, you were forced me to come up with something else. And I'm like, look, I like money. I want money. I don't. I don't want anything else. But fine, if I had to think of something, okay, it's like, all right, it. I guess the hair.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Ryan]

But then. But then, yeah, once it was in my face, it's like this.

[Tom Segura]

I do think you should. I think you should rematch, right? Yeah.

[Ryan]

I want. No, man.

[Tom Segura]

I'll put $10,000 in cash on the table. Oh, okay. I'll put it on the table.

[Ryan]

I'm chilling. You.

[Annie]

You killed me last. You destroyed me. Why would you want to play again?

[Ryan]

Because I don't like basketball. I already beat you, bro.

[Christina P.]

What about swimming?

[Tom Segura]

Hold on.

[Christina P.]

What about swimming? Right before Ryan came in, you said.

[Ryan]

It'S so crazy, too. You. You already, man, you already gave you the L. Like, how many. How many L's you want in your last name, dog? You want to hide Ryan Hall? That's what you want to be.

[Annie]

I'm 40 pounds.

[Ryan]

Like, how many you want?

[Annie]

My knees are back in shape. I'm. I'm now much stronger than you. So come on, let's go.

[Christina P.]

Oh, what about laps? Swimming laps? Any. You said it right before you came in that you would swim laps. You would learn to swim and swim laps against. Right.

[Tom Segura]

I'm excited to kick off my UK and Ireland tour this weekend. I'll be in Dublin this Saturday, March 15, at 3Arena, Belfast for two shows at Waterfront hall on March 16. First show is sold out. We added a second show. Manchester at AO Arena, March 19. London at OVO Arena, Wembley, March 20, Glasgow at OVO Hydro, March 21. Nottingham at Motorpoint Arena, March 22. Cardiff at Utilita Arena, March 23. Go get your [e-mail] tour. I'll see you there, mate.

[Christina P.]

They say money can't buy you happiness. That might be true, but money sure can make you feel a lot of other things, like stressed, guilty, overwhelmed. That's because when you're not in control of your money, your money can control you. Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns. Acorns is a financial wellness app that helps you take control of your money with simple tools that make it easy to start saving and investing for your future. You don't need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you and your money goals. You don't need to be rich. Acorns lets you get started with the spare money you've got right now, even if all you've got is spare change. I love Acorns because of that very idea that you don't need to start as a millionaire to start being smart about your finances. Acorns makes that easy. Ready to take control of your money? Sign up now and join the over 13 million all time customers who have already saved and invested over 22% billion dollars with Acorns. Head to acorns.com ymh or download the Acorns app to get started. Paid non client endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns tier one compensation provided investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important [e-mail] ymh if you're like me, your mornings follow a familiar routine with coffee being essential. Since it's the one thing I absolutely need to jump start my day every day, I need it to be perfect. So I leveled up my daily coffee routine with Trade. Trade is the number one US specialty coffee marketplace, bringing you fresh coffee from over 50 of the country's top roasters. Trade's experts have taste tested thousands of coffees to curate over 450amazing roasts. Whether you're new to coffee or know your favorites, they'll hand pick the perfect coffee for you. Take their quiz and in under a minute they'll match you with your perfect coffee. If that first bag isn't quite right, no problem. Trade will replace it for free until they nail it. I have my trade coffee in this very studio and I love it. It's exactly my favorite taste blend. The strength they got it just right. Right now, Trade is exclusively offering our listeners 40 your first order at DrinkTrade.com ymh that's DrinkTrade T-R-A-E.com ymh for 40% off your first order. DrinkTrade.com ymh okay Ryan, do you swim?

[Annie]

I swam as a kid. I'm pretty good.

[Christina P.]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Oh, that's what you said about basketball. Yeah. Let's do it.

[Tom Segura]

Do you want to swim? Will you swim laps for 10 GS and neither of you has to give it up? I'll give it up.

[Ryan]

However I would if I don't have to pay for the coach's time. I paid thousands of dollars for that.

[Tom Segura]

I'll pay for the swimming coach, too.

[Christina P.]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

I'll pay for a swimming coach. And I'll put the ten grand up and I'll give it to whomever wins.

[Annie]

And I won't have a swimming coach.

[Christina P.]

You won't?

[Annie]

No. I don't need one.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Christina P.]

This is amazing.

[Ryan]

I won't either. I only did because I figured you would.

[Christina P.]

But you don't know how to swim.

[Annie]

You figured I would know.

[Tom Segura]

Wait. Do you not know how to swim?

[Christina P.]

He's black.

[Ryan]

Not like that. Ain't about not knowing swimming.

[Annie]

Structure to learn first and then not a coach. Like we'll both cease.

[Ryan]

The coach figure that out.

[Tom Segura]

Figure it out. Let him figure out.

[Annie]

Let him figure it out.

[Nadav]

Yet every water activity I've invited any two. He does not come.

[Ryan]

Surprise.

[Christina P.]

He doesn't.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Nadav]

I wonder why we planned a boat trip together. He's like, I'll help you pay for it. And then he just didn't come.

[Annie]

Remember when I took everyone out on the boat?

[Christina P.]

Remember? He can't.

[Annie]

He didn't show up. He said like, oh, I overslept.

[Ryan]

What are you talking about? I went on the boat.

[Annie]

No.

[Ryan]

The day.

[Annie]

No, you didn't.

[Nadav]

Not for my birthday.

[Ryan]

Not for the birthday, but not for the birthday.

[Christina P.]

No.

[Ryan]

But for the boat you rented. I went to the lake with y'all.

[Tom Segura]

Did he?

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Annie]

You're just not that.

[Ryan]

See, this ain't got a bad man.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. Okay. All right.

[Ryan]

Yes. $1,000 coming out your.

[Tom Segura]

We will. We will continue this. Let's move to the next thing here. Because this is. Nothing gives me more joy. Besides watching that take place.

[Christina P.]

It's the best.

[Tom Segura]

Then upsetting and horrifying Stavros came on.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

This was episode 711 and we showed him Norm's famous poutine. And it was one of my favorite things I've ever seen. This was so great. Out cheese. No.

[Josh Potter]

Change the recipe.

[Tom Segura]

Change the.

[Christina P.]

No.

[Tom Segura]

I don't want.

[Christina P.]

Stresses me out.

[Tom Segura]

Fries. Cheese. No. Pig and pig piss o. It's going to be a treat. No. Okay.

[Christina P.]

So let's get ready. He paces through the cage.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Which. It's in his urethra. So I don't know how he's.

[Tom Segura]

No, dude.

[Ryan]

Always just mix that around.

[Tom Segura]

Mix it up.

[Christina P.]

Make sure all the are covered.

[Tom Segura]

You gotta have all the ingredients. I take back what I said about his recipe. I don't want to watch this. Oh, no.

[Christina P.]

No.

[Tom Segura]

Look, dude, that's Disgusting. That sucks so much. Oh, my God. Why did it come out so fast? Why did it come out so fast?

[Christina P.]

So gross.

[Tom Segura]

Take the cheese. Jesus Christ. I'm literally mixing. Don't even gag. Easy, dude. But that is up. No, I don't want to watch him eat it. Don't eat it. Norm, please. I beg you, Norm. Don't eat your own.

[Christina P.]

Look at this gooey turd.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, my God.

[Christina P.]

So bad.

[Ryan]

Why the did it come out so fast?

[Tom Segura]

Okay, why was that Was just.

[Christina P.]

Oh, God. It's stressing me out to rewatch that.

[Tom Segura]

I know. It's also getting me primed for YMH Live. I just realized we're going to get more treats like this.

[Christina P.]

Did you get the zing of excitement? Yeah, I know.

[Tom Segura]

Because every time that heavy segment starts.

[Christina P.]

I'm like, ooh, these clips get me so jazzed.

[Tom Segura]

I might get sick here in a second.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, that's why I think you and I are team jeans. May I take this moment to just promote my lipsticks? This is a perfect, perfect time. Yeah, go ahead, guys. Buy your lipstick.

[Tom Segura]

Nor would like it.

[Christina P.]

Christinap.com today I'm wearing Madison, which is just like a light mauve sensation. And then I have Atomic Red, the perfect red, and Berlin. Christinap.com buy all four at. At the same time. For your lady or for your gentleman? Gentleman that wears lipstick. By the way, I'm working on a new piece of art for Sake. It's really good. Look at that.

[Tom Segura]

Stop buying her art.

[Christina P.]

No, it's. It's taken on a life of its own. People are now sending us art based on my art. Like, famous.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's right.

[Christina P.]

It's great. It's really a movement.

[Tom Segura]

The choke.

[Christina P.]

Anyway, that was an amazing time with Stavros.

[Tom Segura]

It was incredible. Soon after that, by the way, it finally happened. It was something that we were all anticipating. We didn't know if it would ever happen. And that's when Garth Brooks blocked me finally on Instagram. You, by the way, the great fans, the listeners and viewers of this program are the ones who got Garth to eventually go private on his accounts. He. He restricted all comments at some point because you literally took over all of his social media.

[Christina P.]

Destroyed it.

[Tom Segura]

Everywhere that it exists.

[Christina P.]

Destroyed it.

[Tom Segura]

You destroyed was. It was incredible that. That it happened. But it started with him blocking certain people, restricting comments. I got a few times where I had comments in there, and, you know, they would get liked and commented on, and then it just. It all went to. He just refused to allow anybody in. He. Eventually it happened on Instagram. Then you guys went over, took over his Facebook, his Twitter. He basically realized there was nowhere safe. And so that was really exciting.

[Christina P.]

He's breaking down the walls between us.

[Tom Segura]

He's breaking down the walls between you and me. Then he thought better of it in episode 725, something which also is appropriate for this week, which is that we had Dan Soder on. Dan Soder is not just an incredible comedian and he's super talented in, in many regards. He also does what many people think is the best impression of Dave Chappelle. Yes, he can actually. He really sounds like him.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

And he just. He sounds like him. And he also has the, like, not just the cadence down, but he'll speak the way, like, things he would say. It's pretty impressive.

[Christina P.]

It's really cool.

[Tom Segura]

What's the. I haven't heard you do it, but you do a good Chappelle.

[Will Blunderfeld]

Oh, yeah, we. We prank phone called Chappelle on Legion of Skanks.

[Tom Segura]

Called him.

[Will Blunderfeld]

No, we prank Focus. Sorry. We prank phone called a news. A Fox News producer that thought Louis J. Gomez had given her Dave Chappelle's number, but she. He had given her Dave Smith's number. It's on YouTube in part of the episode. But I was just at home playing video games and they were like, hey, can you call this lady as Dave Chappelle? And she bit.

[Tom Segura]

Dude. She bit hard.

[Will Blunderfeld]

And it was like, I. I was trying to just keep talking about how important Lewis was the comedy. Like, I've heard he's got a very dangerous foot fetish. I wouldn't show you toes if I was around him. And she was like, oh, my God. I think I was wearing open toed sandals. She was talking to Chappelle.

[Tom Segura]

That's great.

[Christina P.]

Amazing.

[Tom Segura]

Do you. Were you always doing him? Like, was.

[Will Blunderfeld]

I was. I mean, I'm a massive Chappelle fan.

[Tom Segura]

Sure.

[Will Blunderfeld]

In 2012 at the Cellar, I got blackout drunk and hung out with him and I, I was like telling him old bits he hadn't done on any specials and I think it freaked him out. And I've stayed away from him ever since. Ever since then because I felt that moment where I was like, I think.

[Christina P.]

I think this is a lot too much.

[Will Blunderfeld]

I was like, do you remember used to the what white people eat bit was so much longer. And he was like, like, man, you know my bits better than I do.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Will Blunderfeld]

But he did have. I had the coolest moment possibly ever in Stand up. Speaking of cigarettes at the Cellar that night, he got off stage and he Coming. He came and hung out at the table, and he was sitting next to me holding a cigarette. And I was like, I always want to know what kind of cigarettes. I've been like, I've been going to see you since I was 16.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Will Blunderfeld]

I just want to know what kind of cigarettes you smoke. And he was like, oh, I smoke American spirits. And he hands me one.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Will Blunderfeld]

I was like, this is. We're at the table at the Olive Tree.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Will Blunderfeld]

Inside. And I go, oh, you want to go smoke a cigarette? And he goes, smoke right here. And I go, well, I can't, because I need this place for rent. But you're Dave Chappelle. You can smoke here if you want to. And he goes, you can if Dave Chappelle lights you cigarette. And I looked at SD and SD went like that. And I. I took. And I swear to God, by the third drag.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Will Blunderfeld]

Every waiter and bartender was staring at me like, soda gets to smoke inside. This is unbelievable.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah.

[Will Blunderfeld]

I took a couple hits and I put it in.

[Tom Segura]

That's awesome.

[Will Blunderfeld]

In, like, the ashtray. And yes. He was like, thank you.

[Tom Segura]

I did. When I did the. What was it? The aft. Yeah, the after party of the Brady Roast, we went up to the lounge inside, and we're in. What's it called? What's the venue there? The. The. The Forum. We're in the Forum.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So we're at the Forum Club, I guess. And it's just. It's the party. And I see Dave and he. He's like. He's like, hey, man, you know, let me get a cigarette. I give it to him. And I was like, same kind of thing. I was like, we can smoke it here. He was like. So I was like, yeah, cool. So I light one up with him.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And then the bartender's like, you can't smoke here. And I was like, okay. And I just turned to Dave. I was like, they said we can't smoke here. And he was like. So I. I was like, I'll put this out when you put it out. He's like, I'll put it out when it's done. I was like, okay, cool. I was like, great.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Smoked.

[Tom Segura]

I, like, chuffed on that thing because I kind of felt bad because I was like, please. And then I just waited until he was done smoking.

[Christina P.]

Well, because there is a level of celebrity, like, you're gonna tell Dave Chappelle.

[Tom Segura]

It's the top tier level.

[Christina P.]

You're gonna tell Dave. It's like, you're gonna tell Tom Cruise to put The.

[Tom Segura]

Well, they kind of do. That's the thing is the guy didn't tell Dave. He told me.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

He's like, you can't smoke here. And I was like.

[Christina P.]

But that's why he's like. I don't give a.

[Tom Segura]

He's right there.

[Christina P.]

It's wild. And also watching that Dan Soder clip makes you realize like when you meet your idol, when you meet your hero, there is nothing cool to say. You cannot talk about how much you love them. Cuz it's not going to work. It's never going to work. You have to talk about anything else except the. That they've done as like a artist or whatever. You can't. You just can't. You can't dork out on them.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. It's so much. But the cool thing is though that he actually has a great. He still has a great memory of it. Of course you could have I met my hero and it's a disaster. Oh wait, that wasn't that.

[Christina P.]

That's why I don't want to meet Robert Smith from the Cure for Sake Roberts. But if you wanted to dress like.

[Tom Segura]

Oh stop. I can't believe you would even want to see something like that. That. I mean, he doesn't look good.

[Christina P.]

He does. He's still beautiful.

[Tom Segura]

This is how women are different though.

[Christina P.]

I love Robert.

[Tom Segura]

Is that you guys can still find someone attractive.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Even if it's not looking that great.

[Christina P.]

Yes. You know why we have souls and we're not superficial.

[Tom Segura]

I know.

[Christina P.]

You guys are the worst. Men are the worst.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, we are. Like I don't give a about her soul.

[Christina P.]

These are the worst.

[Tom Segura]

What's up with that, Titch?

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Let me leave this family and go bang a 20 year old yoga instructor. See? He's so hot. He's cute. I love him. Forever. Forever.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Christina P.]

Love her.

[Tom Segura]

That's what you want.

[Christina P.]

Yep. Dude, he's so cool too.

[Tom Segura]

I get that. He's cool. Yeah, he is cool.

[Christina P.]

He's rad. But I mean he's an. I think he's a solid citizen too.

[Tom Segura]

Is he wearing the perfect red?

[Christina P.]

Of course he is. It was based on Robert Smith's red. The perfect red. I should send him some.

[Tom Segura]

Do you like his voice?

[Christina P.]

Love his voice.

[Tom Segura]

Of course.

[Christina P.]

Some witty timeout.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

No, you. He's Robert Smith. He's like the father of all this. I love him. I love him.

[Tom Segura]

He's definitely wearing a lot of lipstick there.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Eyeliner.

[Christina P.]

Horrible.

[Tom Segura]

Of course you want to see me in eyeliner.

[Christina P.]

Do I love to black eyeliner.

[Tom Segura]

Let's move on. The next episode that I think is notable. Our former producer Nadav passed away. That was super sad. Yeah, he was, I think, eating a dreidel, and then he just. Yeah, fell down. But.

[Christina P.]

Rest in peace, Nadav.

[Tom Segura]

We hope you're okay up in heaven. It's just really sad that he's dead.

[Christina P.]

I know. I miss him.

[Tom Segura]

I miss him, too.

[Christina P.]

Look at those tits I used to have. Yeah, Those are my OG tits. Yeah. God, they're big. Like.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Stay. I was at my house, and I was like, why do I feel sad? This is weird. And I was really sad to lose Nadamb. You've been in our lives, like, yeah. Since 2016. Since the birth of our first child. But you were, like, our first.

[Tom Segura]

We do have a lot of great memories of you. And we've actually put together a little video. Oh, is this. This is either gonna make me cry or mad. What's. What's gonna happen? No, I think you like it.

[Annie]

It's nice.

[Tom Segura]

I think we should all watch this together. Oh, my God. My name is Nadav Itzkowitz. I am a producer here at YMA Studios. Get ready to have a good, fun show in Chamesh. Arba. Shalosh. You don't think he's okay?

[Ryan]

You think he went to work the next day?

[Tom Segura]

I think he's totally fine. You can't get too much come in those balls.

[Ryan]

You get too much in your bladder.

[Tom Segura]

Wow. What amount of money will you pay to permanently hurt. I don't want to permanently hurt you. I want to. You just want to hurt me? Bad one.

[Ryan]

Have you ever fallen in love?

[Josh Potter]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

What were the attributes that person had that made you fall in love? I think it was talking to me. You surround yourself with such. What is your favorite movie? So the story is about Nick.

[Christina P.]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Segura]

Piece of. Got a nice haircut.

[Christina P.]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I threatened to show you somebody getting very severely hurt. Yeah, I don't like those, dude. Me neither. The hardest I've ever heard Nadal laugh.

[Ryan]

That's the hardest I've ever heard Nadal laughs.

[Tom Segura]

I am a jewel.

[Ryan]

Lord knows I'm not a fan of this.

[Tom Segura]

J. What's your new name gonna be? Patty. Patty o'callahan.

[Christina P.]

Let's get Nadav baptized.

[Tom Segura]

The fun bit. You need some updog. What's up, dog? What's up with you, dog? You're dead.

[Christina P.]

You want to kill him?

[Tom Segura]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Ryan]

Just an outside dog who keeps shooting inside.

[Tom Segura]

You deserve it. All the kicks, the screams, the blood.

[Christina P.]

Look and he's having such a good time. Look how happy you made him.

[Tom Segura]

The dove. Too bad. Why does he have a job?

[Christina P.]

Hurry up and find that you do. Oh. Oh.

[Tom Segura]

That'S pretty good.

[Christina P.]

So many great moments with Nadav.

[Tom Segura]

So many good ones.

[Christina P.]

My favorite part, I have two favorite memories about Nadav. Number one, that his favorite movie, like the movie he watches over and over is Drumline.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, sorry. Nick Cannon. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. And I watched it just to see what all the big stink is. Yeah, it's not very good.

[Tom Segura]

It's not a good movie.

[Christina P.]

It's not a good movie. And I love Nick Cannon. I like the idea. It's stupid. Number two, remember when we were in the Reseda? It was during COVID and it was hard to come by getting the vaccine, and you had to be a certain weight to be considered morbidly obese to get the vaccine early. And he was like, I'm working on my vaccine weight. I'm going to become morbidly obese to get the vaccine. Remember that?

[Tom Segura]

I'm in a gain phase right now.

[Christina P.]

That made me laugh so much when he would be like, how you doing? How's your weight? He's like, I'm almost there. God bless him. Rest in peace.

[Tom Segura]

Rest in peace, Nadav. There's. Oh, another one. That was fantastic. And I ended up meeting her was. Remember the coffee girl?

[Christina P.]

Of course.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. So the.

[Christina P.]

The sweetest.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, my God. That was also in the last hundred where she came in here because we had read comments where people. That's where hate from came. Hate from Australia, hate from all these places in the world. That was just like, unbelievable that we. And then I actually. She came to Austin. She came in studio. I. I went to the gym with her. She was really, really sweet. And she's in Toronto. She has her. Her coffee business. But that was the sweetest. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Caitlyn.

[Christina P.]

Caitlyn. She's so sweet and her coffee's fantastic.

[Tom Segura]

She just made, like, sincere videos. Like, this is how I start my day. People are like, I hate you waking up. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Just so sweet, so innocent.

[Tom Segura]

It was really crazy, man.

[Christina P.]

There she is. Sweet.

[Dan Soder]

It's coffee for living. Let's get this day started on the right note and head to the gym. I love getting up bright and early like this when it's still dark, the world is still asleep.

[Christina P.]

Sweet, quiet.

[Dan Soder]

It really feels like a life hack. Like you're getting extra hours in your day. So I love waking up early and getting some work in. Gonna do some boxing and some bench press. I am super weak. So we gotta build some strength here following the gym. It is coffee time, baby. I'm gonna start by making a hot latte for Papa Street Brew. Even though I have converted him to iced espressos. But we're gonna make an iced espresso for me. Do a little outfit change and outfit check for a video that we're gonna post. And then it's time to sit in the office, do a couple calls and do some work. Bonus points, find some clients you can talk sneakers with on your calls. Because, I mean, that's the best way to do things, right? After spending most of the morning in zoom calls and doing some admin work, it's time to start filming some content and making some more coffee. So we're gonna do some drip coffee, some pour overs, some espresso stuff as well.

[Tom Segura]

Good.

[Dan Soder]

I think we get other little things.

[Tom Segura]

So it was. This is like that vlog cadence that also people wanted to die with. Yeah, yeah. Please delete your account. He would say such mean to her. But she ended up being, of course, like the sweetest.

[Christina P.]

The nicest. Probably one of the sweetest guests. Guests we've ever had. Hate from Australia.

[Tom Segura]

Then we had. That's so funny.

[Christina P.]

She was delightful.

[Tom Segura]

We had a run of some incredible guests that came in. And the Jesse Lee Peterson.

[Christina P.]

Oh my God.

[Tom Segura]

Then Gene Simmons and then Will Blunderfeld. Yeah, Coolest guys.

[Christina P.]

So many gets this year.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, my God. It was just like.

[Christina P.]

Just like the gays.

[Tom Segura]

Just like the gays.

[Christina P.]

How much fun was Gene Simmons too? I mean, he really came.

[Tom Segura]

If you love your penis, your self esteem goes up. I mean, that's also true.

[Christina P.]

Will changed my life. Like getting to meet him in person and feel his. His aura and to feel his love and presence. I just think he's such a special human being.

[Tom Segura]

He is a special human being. Really amazing. Then shortly thereafter that ICP came on. Now, one of the building blocks, the foundations of this show, if you don't know, is. You know what I'm saying? And we have always done.

[Ryan]

You know what I'm saying?

[Tom Segura]

You know what I'm saying? Super cuts.

[Josh Potter]

Right.

[Ryan]

Mitch?

[Tom Segura]

You know what I'm saying? And these guys came in or not these guys. Sorry, at this time, wasn't it just the. Was it both? No, that's right. Because the first time it was just one. Yeah, well, they came in and we got to do after the Europeans, their appearance. Excuse me, the. Maybe the supercut of supercuts.

[Christina P.]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Segura]

Which was a. You know what I'm saying? Super cut from these Guys, that was just unbelievable. They. They dropped so many, you know what I'm sayings, that we had to spend hours going through this and putting together, by the way, this supercut of, you know I'm saying, doesn't even have all the, you know what I'm saying? They had to, like, whittle it down just to get the proper, you, I'm saying, super cut going. So we have that for you. Oh, my God, you know what I'm saying? Because of his hair, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

[Christina P.]

You know what I'm saying?

[Tom Segura]

And you know what I'm saying, You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

[Christina P.]

You know what I'm saying?

[Tom Segura]

You know what I'm saying?

[Ryan]

You know what I mean?

[Christina P.]

You know what I'm saying?

[Tom Segura]

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, you know what I'm saying? They're incredible, you know? You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? Yeah, Gay, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? That's what I'm saying?

[Christina P.]

You know what I'm saying?

[Tom Segura]

That's what I'm saying, that, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? As a stripper or anything, you know what I mean?

[Christina P.]

You know what I'm saying?

[Tom Segura]

There's, you know what I'm saying? But you know what I'm saying, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? So. You know what I'm saying?

[Christina P.]

You know what I'm saying?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

[Christina P.]

Oh, that's what you're saying.

[Tom Segura]

Unbelievable.

[Christina P.]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

That was.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, that was really, you know what I'm saying? Super cuts of, you know what I'm saying?

[Tom Segura]

That's the best. I don't think you can make another one after that.

[Christina P.]

No, that episode was explosive. We also got that super cut. But don't forget, that's where we learned that going airtight is gay.

[Tom Segura]

It is according to some. Yeah, I mean, that's, you know, airtight really was a thing that we really wanted to dig deep in. We've had conversations with people who had. Had threesomes, and we thought, what more could you want? And it turns out one more is what you want sometimes. And so some women opt for every hole to be plugged and. And through that Conversation. It led to us meeting Airtight Abby. And Abby called into the show and she gave explicit details about her exploits. And she was a very adventurous person.

[Christina P.]

Is this was Abby the one where she went and she had sex with all the black guys?

[Tom Segura]

That's the one Team. Yeah, that is the one.

[Christina P.]

That was wild.

[Tom Segura]

Then she told another story that kind of made us all sad, but edit that. But yeah, she thinks, I think she met a guy at the club and she took him back to the. Or went back to his place. And then eventually people started walking out of their, of the apartment and they're like, can I get in on this? She was sure. But Airtight Abbey was, was. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. What a find.

[Tom Segura]

It was such a cool story because.

[Christina P.]

You and I couldn't believe that people did it in real life.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Because it sounded, it sounds like such.

[Tom Segura]

You know, adult film. Like. Yeah, like just a fantasy, you know, not real.

[Christina P.]

Who gets to do that?

[Tom Segura]

Like, no, I did it. I did it.

[Christina P.]

This generation, boy, they get it all.

[Tom Segura]

They get it all. Tight Abby, really, really sweet girl. I was, I had the opportunity to meet her and you did. You don't remember that?

[Christina P.]

No.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah. I didn't. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

You didn't go air tight on her?

[Tom Segura]

No, I, I didn't. I didn't. No. Yeah, there was an option to meet her somewhere and I did it. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

You were like, no, thanks.

[Tom Segura]

No, I, I, I believe you said, no, thanks.

[Christina P.]

I was like, don't you meet Air Tight out.

[Tom Segura]

That's how that went.

[Christina P.]

How dare you.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Just a jealous lady.

[Tom Segura]

No, she's, I'm sure she's, I'm sure she's a sweetheart.

[Christina P.]

But the best moment with these two, the ICP guys are the best. Yeah. I was like, you guys go airtight with each other. He's like, what? Hell no. That's gay. Such a good.

[Tom Segura]

There's so many crazy things that happen obviously over the, these, these years. But another thing is that, you know, we had our suspicions, but we learned that our, our very own technical director, Enni is a really high level sociopath. Because I don't know if I describe it like that. Fartgate 2024 was such a revelation. I've never seen like the episodes of the first 48 that I've seen all made more sense when Annie was pressed with a crime because he was so believable. It was just insane. And it turned out he was just a huge, huge liar.

[Christina P.]

He's a lie and he's a good liar. Good one, because I was siding with him. For the. For years I've been on any side. Not anymore, bro.

[Ryan]

Fool me once, I did nothing.

[Tom Segura]

I know. That whole time I was like, you.

[Ryan]

Know how crazy AI is these.

[Tom Segura]

I was saying, man, what does Chad have against him? Like, it was just crazy.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And what it. What Chad had against them is that. And he's a liar.

[Christina P.]

He's a liar. And Chad was right.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Chad was just being an honest good boy.

[Tom Segura]

And the whole staff was like. Yeah. And he was like, man, these are all lying.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

This is.

[Christina P.]

Do you realize like we got. We have him on tape farting and then he has the audacity.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

To deny it to his bosses and then to millions of people who watch this program. That is other level sociopathy.

[Tom Segura]

It was huge.

[Christina P.]

Which is exactly why your employee of the month.

[Tom Segura]

And he also. He did this crazy reveal.

[Christina P.]

You belong here.

[Tom Segura]

Here where like remember the video played. And I thought we were gonna.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Exonerate him. Yes.

[Tom Segura]

And it was just like, haha, I got you guys. Well, this guy is.

[Christina P.]

He's out of his mind. And here's the.

[Ryan]

Who made that man.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Ridiculous. Okay.

[Nadav]

We don't believe you didn't deny it. Even after we. He showed that video. Didn't he bring it up. Christmas party Tom.

[Ryan]

Denying it. I'm still denying.

[Tom Segura]

Denying it to your face right now.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I wouldn't do that, bro. Look at AI, bro. You don't. We don't know what the is real anymore. I didn't do.

[Christina P.]

It's not that good.

[Ryan]

And I don't know who hired that. But it's ridiculous, man.

[Nadav]

But I saw it with my own eyes. I'm done with C in AI.

[Tom Segura]

Is this when we first saw this video? Is that what this is? No, this is the video that you're talking about.

[Christina P.]

The surveillance.

[Tom Segura]

The surveillance or the his reveal? This is his reveal. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Let's see. Because it's. I. I forgot some of it actually.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Blocked it out. Traumatic.

[Tom Segura]

What the.

[Nadav]

Was that you? I think any just parted into the mic.

[Ryan]

Oh my gosh.

[Tom Segura]

This is crazy.

[Ryan]

This wasn't crazy. Jesus Christ, bro.

[Tom Segura]

Giving a new meaning to gas.

[Ryan]

What was what was being said?

[Tom Segura]

Hey, you're talking over the video. Is that real? Real?

[Ryan]

Is what real?

[Christina P.]

What happened there any.

[Ryan]

What do you mean the bro. It's all narrated. This is what Chad does. He's a documentary. He's a documentary film professor.

[Nadav]

In what way did I narrate this?

[Ryan]

You put the text on the thing. It's black video.

[Tom Segura]

You played.

[Nadav]

I'm transcribing the actual audio.

[Ryan]

Yeah, but you're. What you're doing is setting it up so that it makes sense to your story. But it's a non not true story. You know what, you're just putting it out.

[Tom Segura]

So was that fart. Did that fart happen in that moment or.

[Ryan]

No, I mean, see the thing about these is like I don't remember. I don't even know what recording that was.

[Nadav]

Yes, he does. Here's the thing. He went in and deleted this audio. But what he doesn't know is that I back up the audio onto a separate hard drive that he didn't have access to.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. So you just happen to have the footage that both you edited and this backup Zolo.

[Tom Segura]

You don't remember this day because you're.

[Christina P.]

I think I need to stay a.

[Tom Segura]

Neutral party in this matter until all.

[Christina P.]

The evidence been presented.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, but you did hear yourself in there?

[Christina P.]

Yeah, I was there. Yeah, but your honor, I feel like, because we didn't see the conversation that any has a good point. Like anybody can go.

[Ryan]

You could just play a fart.

[Christina P.]

He played a. Yeah. And then he could have had them be actors standing up, create a moment.

[Nadav]

And Cougar would say holy any fart for no reason.

[Christina P.]

Maybe he wrote the script and then they recorded it it over.

[Tom Segura]

I don't think that that screen.

[Ryan]

But that wasn't Cougar.

[Tom Segura]

So this. Yeah, this. If you watch this and you don't immediately have more respect for what law enforcement goes through. Like they have to deal with this lying time. Yeah, like he professionalized like professionals.

[Christina P.]

No, no, I know that's. That's part of being a good criminal is like. And post script to this whole thing. Now any apparently just farts with reckless abandon.

[Tom Segura]

Oh yeah, of course.

[Christina P.]

All the time.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Do you even take. Do you take credit for the farts now?

[Ryan]

Now what farts, bro?

[Christina P.]

Oh my God.

[Ryan]

Put me on tape, fam. Get me on tape.

[Christina P.]

We had it on tape.

[Ryan]

Get me on live.

[Tom Segura]

You put yourself on tape doing it.

[Ryan]

No, I didn't. That was AI bro. You know how good AI is these days? This is crazy.

[Christina P.]

It's compulsive.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

He cannot help himself with the lies. You can't help yourself, can you, you sicko?

[Tom Segura]

Fartgate was.

[Christina P.]

It was Fartgate. And then the lying about what the bet was on the last thing we talked about, like, oh, I said it was. Or any amount of money.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, then this is him, right? Just going, yeah.

[Ryan]

Like where is that? That ain't my house. Anyone? My house looks like.

[Tom Segura]

See you next week.

[Christina P.]

Bye, Mommy.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Christina P.]

Okay. Did you fart?

[Tom Segura]

No.

[Christina P.]

Who farted? Did you hear a fart? Wow.

[Tom Segura]

Jesus.

[Christina P.]

Yep.

[Nadav]

Because you always talk about how disrespectful it is. Like, all the time. You're like, it's so disrespectful.

[Tom Segura]

He loves that line.

[Nadav]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

He's like, the level of disrespect. Yeah.

[Ryan]

What's this accent?

[Tom Segura]

He's like, hey, man.

[Christina P.]

Hey, man.

[Tom Segura]

We disrespect, brother. Like, that ain't nice. This is crazy. This reminds that right there that what we just saw.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

If that doesn't remind you of Presumed Innocent, the incredible debut of Edward Norton as an actor with Richard Gere, where he's accused of killing that priest and then you. And he's like, he's all. You know.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

The whole movie. And at the end he's like, I convinced them all. Did not. And you're like, oh, my God. It was exactly like that.

[Christina P.]

Give him his Oscar.

[Tom Segura]

Give him his Oscar. Or just send him. Sentence him to 25 years in prison. Yeah, because that's a career criminal right there.

[Christina P.]

What is he doing in his off time? Don't you think if he's lying this.

[Tom Segura]

Much to his employers, he's probably doing foot job review videos.

[Christina P.]

I don't know.

[Tom Segura]

It's just crazy. Crazy.

[Christina P.]

Yep. Typical.

[Tom Segura]

Typical.

[Ryan]

Typical what?

[Christina P.]

Typical. Any lies?

[Tom Segura]

Usual suspects, you know. Oh, there it is. You.

[Ryan]

Ah.

[Christina P.]

Hey, I stood up for you. You saw it on tape, man.

[Ryan]

You were part of the bit.

[Christina P.]

No, I wasn't.

[Tom Segura]

You were part of the bit.

[Christina P.]

Oh, eventually, yeah. He told. He admitted. Sorry, I forgot to tell you that part.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Hold up now, bro.

[Christina P.]

Because I was like, any. They're totally. Because we were off. This is off camera. I was like, annie, they're totally. They're totally gang up on you. Is this true? Like, I was so doe eyed and I came up to him and he was like, yeah, farted. And I was like, what? And I was shattered. Right. Do you remember that day? I was fucking shattered.

[Nadav]

I'm kind of shattered now that you're smiling.

[Christina P.]

I was shattered. I was heartbroken. And then I was like, let's keep fucking with Tom now.

[Tom Segura]

I forgot.

[Christina P.]

Sorry.

[Tom Segura]

I blocked it out. You just remembered right now? Yeah. Cool. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Just like that time when you left town and I. I put a hole in the wall to get the hamster out of the wall just behind you at dinner. It's two sneaky things I did this year to you.

[Tom Segura]

And then there's. Or last year, Chris Larson's video Came in ice cold Pepsi. Cheers. He's the only Pepsi guy here.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Crazy.

[Christina P.]

Nobody likes Pepsi except for Chris. It's so.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, water. I don't care about if it kills me.

[Christina P.]

You should.

[Tom Segura]

Doctor said drink water.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, drink water, dummy.

[Tom Segura]

He loves Pepsi. She quit smoking that. I do what I want. It kills me. Kills me. You got free will.

[Christina P.]

You can do that.

[Tom Segura]

Those are big Gulps too. I do pest. Even though I get diabetes. This give a Doctor said drink water. That.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, yeah. But there I. I would see people like him in radiation. They don't hold up very well treatment for these things. You don't want to start your life that way.

[Tom Segura]

It's crazy. You know, we've been sharing those haircut.

[Christina P.]

Oh, my gosh. You and I have been passing each other these videos. These awful haircut videos.

[Tom Segura]

You know Andy Milanakis, right?

[Christina P.]

Yes, of course.

[Tom Segura]

So he's been around forever. He still looks 13 or whatever. He's done a lot of funny. But I saw this.

[Christina P.]

Oh, haircutting place.

[Tom Segura]

He's in Italy.

[Christina P.]

This is it. Hello. How you doing? Do you guys have any appointments open for tonight? Yeah, okay. Thank you so much.

[Bryce Mitchell]

How you prepare the cards?

[Christina P.]

Well, I just got a haircut cut like a couple days ago, but they didn't cut enough. I want to keep it shaggy, but maybe a little less fluff. Maybe like three or four inches in the back. Check. It's still really shaggy on the front, but it's not really long on the back.

[Bryce Mitchell]

What is your job?

[Christina P.]

My job is to be a clown.

[Tom Segura]

Clown.

[Christina P.]

I'm a hired clown.

[Tom Segura]

So wait, so he's. He's in Italy, clearly, like, walks into a place, tells him what he wants. Hold on.

[Will Blunderfeld]

Perfect.

[Christina P.]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Segura]

Bella, this fantastic. This game. He's like, you're a beautiful woman. He gave her the middle aged administration lady at a public high school.

[Christina P.]

Terrible cut. And he thought it was a lady.

[Tom Segura]

I thought he like. He goes. I like when he sees. He goes. This is interesting.

[Christina P.]

Sucks so bad. Oh, my God. That's all you can do.

[Tom Segura]

Thank you.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Perfect.

[Tom Segura]

Perfect. Nice lady. This.

[Bryce Mitchell]

Fantastic.

[Christina P.]

Oh, it's the worst haircut. That's the worst. It's like the helmet.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it's.

[Christina P.]

It's.

[Tom Segura]

It's the sad lady. Shut it down.

[Christina P.]

Shut it down. Menopause cut. But this is why I stick with the same hairdresser. Alan Martinez. Shout out for the last 20 some years. You know, one time when I was in England.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

I couldn't see Alan and I went in to get a haircut and I was like, just like a bob. Like, I've always had a bob. Just give me like a shorter bob. Okay. Yeah. This cut rag cut my hair like, meow. Like the. Like so like a mushroom. Meow. Like this. This short.

[Tom Segura]

The thing you don't realize until you see how much hair informs.

[Christina P.]

It's everything.

[Tom Segura]

Like this looks like a sad lady, right? Like, that's what he looks like.

[Christina P.]

He didn't know that was a boy.

[Tom Segura]

Really crazy.

[Christina P.]

He didn't know that was like a gentleman.

[Tom Segura]

No, he didn't. He had no idea.

[Christina P.]

He gave him the prettiest old lady.

[Tom Segura]

Melissima. You are sexy. Still, don't let anybody tell you you are not.

[Christina P.]

But also very rare that they straighten out curly hair unless you say, I want straight hair. He's naturally waving. Yeah, they should have cut the hair wavy. It's crazy.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, that's so upsetting. You remember a few weeks ago, we were all. The whole world was really taken by this, right?

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Hitler, Helen, the Nazis. I. I really don't think that he was. Because I honestly think that Hitler was a good guy. Based upon my own research, not my own.

[Christina P.]

It's always your own research.

[Tom Segura]

I didn't listen to it. So he's. Yeah, we were all like, this is last we're gonna see of Bryce Mitchell. It's not.

[Christina P.]

Thank God.

[Tom Segura]

He is out there. And he.

[Christina P.]

Keep going. Bryce.

[Tom Segura]

The best thing is that this begins with what you believe is addressing this video, right?

[Bryce Mitchell]

And everybody is just totally talking about me because of how stupid I am. Let me explain myself a little bit better, because this is what I meant by what I said, okay? And I think nobody's gonna disagree once I explain it. I state stated that you can prove the earth don't rotate because you can take a helicopter, hover it at 20,000ft for 24 hours, and come back down in the same spot. Now, everybody said, oh, a helicopter has inertia. I know what inertia is, dude.

[Tom Segura]

I'm not stupid.

[Bryce Mitchell]

Let me tell you what I mean. Here is a picture of the circle of the Earth, supposedly, if you believe in a globe, and the red circle is the helicopter. When the helicopter ascends above the Earth's surface, it now has a larger flight path around the Earth. As in, when the Earth, the inside circle, does one full rotation, the red circle, or the flight of the helicopter actually has to cover more distance to get back to the same spot.

[Christina P.]

A helicopter can't fly around there. I don't understand what this hillbilly say.

[Bryce Mitchell]

That's what I meant, okay? If you don't understand geometry of spheres and circles. That's going to go right over your head. But what I said. Perfect sense.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Bryce Mitchell]

And I'm actually a lot smarter than a lot of y'all think. Some of y'all can't even keep up with me. That's the sad part. This is basic geometry. Some of y'all might not be able to understand what I'm saying. Saying.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I'm one of them.

[Bryce Mitchell]

But God bless you and keep doing your own research because there is no proof that the earth rotates. That's a lie from the devil. And keep thinking what you want, calling me stupid, but I know geometry. I know inertia. An object in motion stays in motion. If I put my foot up your ass, it's going to keep going up your ass. How about that, buddy?

[Christina P.]

Yeah, it's cool that his little. Little kid gets to hear this stuff too.

[Tom Segura]

Well, he's gonna lucky. He's gonna get that first hand education.

[Christina P.]

You know. You got to do your own research, Tom.

[Tom Segura]

It's always good when somebody leads with that.

[Christina P.]

Your own research?

[Tom Segura]

Have you done your own research?

[Christina P.]

Like what? You just Internet stuff like weird articles.

[Tom Segura]

Nothing about life on earth makes me think that it's round or rotating.

[Christina P.]

Why, why are they so against the. The earth being round? What is that?

[Tom Segura]

Because they told us that. That something scientists. Yeah. Trying to get us to believe. Stupid.

[Christina P.]

Is it anti Christian or something? The earth being round.

[Tom Segura]

He said the devil at one point, so.

[Christina P.]

Oh, so Satan's in charge of the roundness of things of the earth. Is that what it is?

[Tom Segura]

Maybe.

[Christina P.]

That's so weird. I don't know why they don't.

[Tom Segura]

He's so content though. That's the thing about being dumb.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

That is like. It's really, I think satisfying.

[Christina P.]

Is that enviable?

[Tom Segura]

You believe your own dumb thoughts and then you're so pleased with yourself.

[Christina P.]

You know? You know, know I thought about that for my whole life.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

If I could just be a little dumber, how much happier I'd be you. Or maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep.

[Tom Segura]

It's. He's. He's not the brightest guy, but yeah.

[Christina P.]

Oh, and it says women are stupid. The earth is a circle. Isaiah 40, verse 22. Whatever. Made with a compass. Yeah. Laid upon a face which is bounded. It as it ends. It does not move and is covered by a dome contained. Oh, so this is like the biblical conception of cosmology. Whatever. It's silly though. This is.

[Tom Segura]

That's my own research.

[Christina P.]

I hate everything.

[Tom Segura]

Do your own research, bro.

[Christina P.]

Do your own research. Draw your own diagrams, dummy.

[Tom Segura]

Do your own research. That's. That's kind of like the. That's usually like the first thing that people who are really dumb.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. They do their own research.

[Tom Segura]

I do my own research.

[Christina P.]

What are you talking about? Anyway, I. I can't. I can't. Tom, can we. Can we switch topics here for a moment?

[Hilaria Baldwin]

I wanted the only dad I've ever noticed.

[Tom Segura]

It kind of makes you think.

[Christina P.]

Exactly.

[Tom Segura]

Stevie.

[Christina P.]

I think it is Stevie.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christina P.]

No, he sounds.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Where I get my name Snake from. I ain't afraid of him.

[Josh Potter]

Never have been.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Except whenever I was a kid.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christina P.]

This is.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

People gets mad. They get over it. You know, they realize stuff later on down the road.

[Tom Segura]

Do your own research. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He also had this. This is another one.

[Christina P.]

What's your issue with seat belts?

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Seat belts. I think it's just like a. Like you get to choose if you want to wear a seat belt. The government doesn't, you know, they don't wipe my ass for me, and they don't. They shouldn't be able to tell me if I want to wear a seat belt. I personally don't like them because I think, what if you got to jump out of the car and roll? You know, duck and roll?

[Christina P.]

Okay.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Nobody ever thinks about that.

[Christina P.]

Nobody.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

So I don't personally wear a seat belt, but I grew up. My mom never wore one. I just don't believe in them. And it's not up to the government to decide if I should wear a seat belt or not. So that's just my view on it. That's why I don't wear them. But maybe, you know, I strapped my baby in.

[Tom Segura]

In.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

You know, I took her in.

[Christina P.]

Why?

[Hilaria Baldwin]

But I just don't like wearing them. I like the maneuverability.

[Christina P.]

Maneuverability.

[Tom Segura]

It's crazy, too, when someone this dumb is this good at fighting because he can kick 99 of people's asses on earth.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So it's like you could argue with, like, the dumbest guy you've ever met, and then he could just kill you.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, yeah. But that's because God only gives you one or two talents, tops. You can't be all things. You gotta choose one or two lanes and just stay in your lane.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

You shouldn't be a podcaster if you're the stupid. You really can't.

[Tom Segura]

I'm glad that he's putting this out there. I feel like this is going to be a real well of.

[Christina P.]

Of information if he continues.

[Tom Segura]

I think he's going to if he gets sponsored, the engagement is going to be. It has to be crazy for him.

[Christina P.]

Sure.

[Tom Segura]

Of course, it's not that positive, but yeah.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You do see though that a lot of people are on board with him. There are people who are like. Yeah. People trying to tell you the earth rotates.

[Christina P.]

The man telling me to wear a seat belt.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Well, good for him.

[Tom Segura]

If you got to stop, drop and roll.

[Christina P.]

Oh, my God. Stop dropping. What if the car rolls? Is he driving like the jeep with no doors? Is that what he's thinking about?

[Tom Segura]

I don't know.

[Christina P.]

You got tuck and roll, but. Oh. I wanted to get to this so we don't run out of time.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Because it is a timely topic. And I wanted to go there because the mom world is ablaze with the new Hilaria. Hillary Baldwin.

[Tom Segura]

Alec Baldwin.

[Christina P.]

Alec Baldwin show on tlc. Now, I haven't watched a full episode, but I thought we could go through some of the footage. I mean, look how handsome he was when they started together.

[Tom Segura]

Dating. Yeah. A while ago. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Seven children.

[Tom Segura]

Seven.

[Christina P.]

Six animals. What? Two parents. How many nannies? Child's family. Why are we eating chocolate? Get all through fall. Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Go pee in that pool.

[Christina P.]

Gross. What's the matter, happy face? My son lost his mom in the most unthinkable tragedy. This is never something to forget. Oh, little Latin there to parent through it.

[Tom Segura]

Honestly, from the bottom of my soul, I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have you and these kids.

[Christina P.]

It's okay. Just ignore him. We've had bad moments, but we found our foundation. She says you should look like this.

[Tom Segura]

1980.

[Christina P.]

We're solid and we're here together. Together.

[Tom Segura]

Together.

[Christina P.]

He looks like hot dog.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I mean, he doesn't look the same. He's also. How old is Alec Baldernight? He's got to be in his 60s, right? Is he in his 60s now?

[Christina P.]

At least. But he was. Can I tell you what the great tragedy. 66.

[Tom Segura]

He's 66 years old.

[Christina P.]

I know, but the great tragedy is how hot he was. I mean, I had such a crush on him as a teenage girl.

[Tom Segura]

He's a movie star.

[Christina P.]

The Marrying Man, I think. Think look him up in the movie the mirror.

[Tom Segura]

Alec Baldwin, 1989.

[Christina P.]

Oh my God. Yeah. Kim Basinger. Basinger. The two of them were together.

[Tom Segura]

That's right.

[Christina P.]

God damn. Couldn't there be a more attractive couple?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, he's very good looking guy.

[Christina P.]

Stunning.

[Tom Segura]

He was. He played Jack Ryan in that. You know those. That with his scarf.

[Christina P.]

This Is so cute. Now the whole all the Baldwins are.

[Tom Segura]

Hot good looking guys, man.

[Christina P.]

And then I think having seven kids on top of this accident thing must have just aged him in dog years.

[Tom Segura]

And he's really good by the way. Not just good looking guy. He's really good actor. Yeah, he's done. Oh, of course.

[Christina P.]

Beetlejuice, my favorite. And he's got a great voice, that gravel voice.

[Tom Segura]

Oh yeah. It's like he speaks in like that. Yeah, yeah.

[Christina P.]

He narrates on that Wes Anderson, the Tenenbaums. Look at that chest. Hairy chest.

[Tom Segura]

Ooh, it's a man right there.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, dog I'm looking at and right.

[Tom Segura]

Underneath it, it says Alec Baldwin mistaken as a hobo. You know what that is? That's life. That's how life I know actually goes. There's a certain link that says hottie Alec. And this one says mistaken as a hobo.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, he's got a rough first set. There he is with Kim Basinger in the 80s. Wow.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

But beautiful couple, you know Know you can't judge the guy first looks at 66.

[Christina P.]

I can.

[Josh Potter]

All right.

[Christina P.]

I can.

[Tom Segura]

I mean, I know. But he's 66.

[Christina P.]

I just think it's bad life decisions. I think that having seven children would age anybody that well.

[Tom Segura]

Of course it would.

[Christina P.]

It's not cool. It's too many kids.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know why you have keep having that many kids.

[Christina P.]

Too many.

[Tom Segura]

I know, it's insane.

[Christina P.]

And by the way, how many nannies do they have? Give me a break. That it's just the two of them. The 66 year old dad and her. The tiny little daughter.

[Tom Segura]

Dad contributes.

[Christina P.]

You can't do.

[Tom Segura]

It's basically grandpa, of course. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

It's too much. Yeah. You can't even play. So my friend, my mom friend, we're all gonna nap.

[Tom Segura]

That's what's gonna happen in that. Oh my God, Alex. Dreadful reality show is a noob low for tv. Hey man.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, but that, you know, but they, they don't like the good stuff we do. Like my husband is not gay. They probably low reviewed that show too.

[Tom Segura]

I'm ssa.

[Christina P.]

I'm ssa way they don't know what they're talking about. Don't listen to these. So anyway, my mom friends were texting me. Would you like to hear their review?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Let me show you what my friend.

[Tom Segura]

What are the moms saying out there.

[Christina P.]

In the mom world? Okay. Because we, we keep it on the. Keep up on the Alaria. I watched it yesterday. It's on Max. You have to watch. There are babies crawling up on tables, kids running around screaming. It's a mad house. It's a mad house. It's got to be. And then my other mom friend was saying, there's this part of the episode where he's complaining to Hilaria that she's the one in charge of getting the kids going. She's in control of the kids. And he's like, I used to have a say in how the kids were. I don't have a say anymore. And she's like, well, yeah, I'm the mom.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And I agree.

[Tom Segura]

It's agree, too.

[Christina P.]

Go work. Go make the money.

[Tom Segura]

Go do.

[Christina P.]

Let me deal with the kids. Yeah, because dads are not wired for that shit.

[Tom Segura]

I agree.

[Christina P.]

What. What meds does juju need to take it?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, right. Whatever you say.

[Christina P.]

What size are juju's pants?

[Tom Segura]

Sixteen.

[Christina P.]

You don't know.

[Tom Segura]

I know.

[Christina P.]

And that's just most dads. No, it's just our generation, especially Alec Baldwin's generation. He don't know about the kids. Yeah, let him go to work.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And let the fake Latin lady run the house.

[Tom Segura]

Okay?

[Christina P.]

Women are better at that stuff.

[Tom Segura]

I agree. I agree.

[Christina P.]

We. Guys, this is not for men. Not.

[Tom Segura]

You run. That's the. That's the company. You run that company.

[Christina P.]

That's right.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

We're more tr. I think the traditional way is fine unless you have some beta cuck husband.

[Tom Segura]

He doesn't want all that. Say nobody does.

[Christina P.]

Nobody. Men don't want to do it.

[Tom Segura]

No.

[Christina P.]

He doesn't want to raise the kids.

[Tom Segura]

People had asked, by the way. They wanted to know the update for the woman hitting my car.

[Christina P.]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Segura]

Wanted to tell you without getting into too much detail, it's being taken care of. Okay.

[Christina P.]

Stupid.

[Tom Segura]

And I. By that, I don't mean that. I'm letting it go. I'm not letting it go. And that's how it's being taken care of. Okay. So what is this? So we. We did make some. We. I don't know if you want to say it or not, but we made a little bit of progress in your investigation of Brigit Macron.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

And do you want to say that we reached out, you said. Well, we reached out to Bridget.

[Christina P.]

No, just kidding. To. To Candace Owens, who you.

[Tom Segura]

You said is, like, the leader in this story.

[Christina P.]

Of course. This is Candace Owens. Big moment right now. She is exposed. Brigitte Macron. And as you know, Candace is pregnant right now. So I think flying in might not be doable for her, but we're arranging A zoom interview so she can fill us in on this Brigitte Macron thing. And I'm telling you, the Macron are panicking. They're sending her, you know, hundred letter threats and all this. It is real. And none of them being like, hey, Brigitte is a woman. Stop saying that. That's not true. That's. They're not even trying to call her out on that.

[Ryan]

No.

[Christina P.]

It's very exciting stuff.

[Ryan]

Please do not use gendered language.

[Christina P.]

I miss all that.

[Tom Segura]

So we'll find out what the real story is here.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. It's huge.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

What's your pronoun? What's their product?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

What's the problem?

[Bryce Mitchell]

Clearing out the women.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

They were queering out the dudes.

[Tom Segura]

That's what happened. So hopefully we'll get the full story soon.

[Christina P.]

I can't wait.

[Tom Segura]

But just let us say this now as we wrap up, that it's. It has been the most fun, I think, of our careers.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

That we've gotten to do this show. I never want to stop doing YMH. There's. This is episode 800, and I hope we're doing 800 more of these. It's been a lot of fun and.

[Christina P.]

Thank you, you guys, for making this possible.

[Tom Segura]

Thank you so much.

[Christina P.]

This started as a silly dream in our little house in Silver Lake with a neighbor that made smelly food through the walls.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And we've moved it to every house we've been to. And you guys have come with us and we really appreciate that. It's been quite a ride.

[Tom Segura]

It's been amazing. We look forward to doing it more and hopefully we'll see many of you on March 7th. YMHStudios.com YMH Live is back and we'll see you soon.

[Christina P.]

Bye. Jeans.

[Tom Segura]

This is big time. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone. Loving this. Your mama and the funk is there. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura and Christina Pratchett. Welcome to your mom's house.