Tom Green Wants Garth Brooks Closure | Your Mom's House Ep. 797

Summary

Your Mom's House Episode 797: Tom Green Wants Garth Brooks Closure

Release Date: February 12, 2025

In Episode 797 of Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura, the hosts delve into a mix of humorous banter, controversial discussions, and personal stories, all while maintaining their signature comedic flair. This detailed summary captures the essence of the episode, highlighting key moments, notable quotes, and insightful conversations.

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1. Hosts' Banter on Periods [00:57 - 03:02]

The episode kicks off with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer engaging in a lighthearted discussion about periods. Their conversation touches on the comedic aspects of dealing with menstrual symptoms.

• Bert Kreischer: "What period. Are you using an app to track your cycle?" [02:13]
• Tom Segura: "It's the worst. I can't wait for menopause." [02:09]

This segment sets a humorous tone, reflecting the relatable struggles and frustrations that come with menstrual cycles.

2. Bryce Mitchell's Controversial Remarks and Dana White's Response [04:06 - 09:15]

The primary focus shifts to a clip from Bryce Mitchell's podcast, "Arkansanity," where he makes inflammatory statements about Hitler and the Nazis.

• Bryce Mitchell: "I really don't think that he was. Because I honestly think that Hitler was a good guy based upon my own research..." [04:34]

The hosts react with disbelief and disapproval, leading to a rebuttal from Dana White, UFC President, who vehemently condemns Bryce's remarks.

• Dana White: "Hitler is one of the most disgusting and evil human beings to ever walk the face of the earth..." [08:28]

This intense exchange underscores the podcast's commitment to addressing and debunking harmful misinformation.

3. Talent Showcase: Throat Whistling and Other Skills [09:15 - 17:00]

Transitioning from controversial topics, the episode highlights unique talents found on social media. Tom Segura introduces a professional throat whistler, showcasing impressive skills.

• Bert Kreischer: "How's he doing that?" [16:00]
• Tom Segura: "He's still doing it." [16:28]

The hosts express admiration for such talents, emphasizing the diverse content available online beyond traditional media.

4. Christina P.'s Move to Canada and Farm Life [32:27 - 37:07]

Christina Pazsitzky shares her personal journey of relocating from Los Angeles to a farm in Canada. She discusses the challenges and rewards of farm life, including her relationship with a mule named Fanny.

• Christina P.: "It's the most relaxing thing because, you know, it's... brings you back to your primal instincts..." [33:00]
• Tom Segura: "I just moved into my apartment today. I heard construction about me all day." [14:34]

This segment offers listeners an intimate look into Christina's life outside the spotlight, highlighting her adaptability and love for nature.

5. Pranks Segment: British Starbucks Ordering Prank [37:00 - 50:00]

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing and demonstrating playful pranks. The hosts focus on a popular British Starbucks ordering prank, where participants adopt a British accent and ask for unusual orders.

• Christina P.: "Can I have a little more lettuce, please?" [38:06]
• Tom Segura: "Happy birthday." [40:19]

They play submitted prank videos, showcasing the humorous interactions between pranksters and unsuspecting Starbucks employees. The segment emphasizes the harmless nature of these pranks and their viral potential on platforms like TikTok.

6. Engagement Story Between Christina and Tom [55:00 - 61:15]

The hosts share a heartfelt story about Christina's recent engagement to Tom Segura. They recount how they met via Instagram and the romantic gestures that led to their relationship.

• Christina P.: "We were in my camper van. She's very excited about that. We're living in a van right now." [59:11]
• Tom Segura: "Women love vans." [59:33]

This personal narrative adds depth to the podcast, allowing listeners to connect with the hosts on a more intimate level.

7. Tom Green's Appearance and Discussion on Garth Brooks [75:00 - 83:43]

The episode features a special appearance by comedian Tom Green, who reconnects with the hosts to discuss his latest projects, including a documentary, a series, a stand-up special, and a country album titled "Home to the Country."

• Tom Green: "We're thrilled to bring back one of our favorite guests of all time. The great Tom Green, everybody." [30:05]
• Christina P.: "It starts out with a documentary about the history of my show." [31:39]

They also touch upon the contentious topic of Garth Brooks, with Tom Green making satirical remarks about him, leading to a humorous and exaggerated injury report.

• Tom Segura: "Eight broken ribs, pelvis broken in two spots..." [77:05]

This segment blends humor with genuine discussions about the entertainment industry, showcasing the hosts' versatility.

8. Closing Remarks and Final Banter [83:08 - End]

As the episode winds down, the hosts engage in light-hearted banter, reflecting on their shared experiences and future plans.

• Christina P.: "We just got engaged right before Christmas. It's very exciting." [59:32]
• Bert Kreischer: "This is good, all of us being jerks creating this stuff." [76:13]

Their closing remarks reinforce the camaraderie among the hosts and their guests, leaving listeners with a warm and inviting feeling.

---

Notable Quotes:

• Bert Kreischer: "Your man doesn't have a lean, energetic, strong physique." [23:54]
• Tom Segura: "Hitler is one of the most disgusting and evil human beings to ever walk the face of the earth." [08:28]
• Christina P.: "It's been the best thing I've ever really decided." [32:26]
• Tom Green: "Calm down later for Bruce 2." [83:43]

Conclusion:

Episode 797 of Your Mom's House offers a blend of humor, personal stories, and thoughtful discussions. From lighthearted banter about everyday struggles to addressing controversial topics and sharing intimate life moments, Christina P. and Tom Segura create an engaging and entertaining listening experience. Whether you're a long-time fan or a newcomer, this episode provides a comprehensive glimpse into the dynamic world of Your Mom's House.

Transcript

[Tom Segura]

Battle Creek, Michigan. Tickets are on sale now for my show at Firekeepers casino on Friday, May 9. Next month, I'm coming across the pond to Dublin, Belfast, Manchester, London, Glasgow, Nottingham and Cardiff. Tickets and info [e-mail] Tour welcome, welcome.

[Christina P.]

Welcome to your mom's house.

[Bert Kreischer]

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[Tom Segura]

Hello. What's everybody. It's another show. We're here. We're excited. We have an incredible guest today. We got a lot of cool things to show you.

[Bert Kreischer]

So many. What's everybody. It's Charles.

[Christina P.]

Okay.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's so good. Let's play some more of this.

[Tom Segura]

You like that?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, yeah, it's pretty great.

[Tom Segura]

Let me hear. We got here.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Nope, I don't know about that one.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. It's really pretty good.

[Bert Kreischer]

She was in rare form.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

She was in so much. So much, so much.

[Tom Segura]

I might be retarded, but I'm not stupid. It's very true.

[Bert Kreischer]

How are you feeling, Tom? How's your period?

[Tom Segura]

It's good. Well, it's coming on. I can feel it.

[Bert Kreischer]

Tell me, what do you. What are your symptoms?

[Tom Segura]

Just like some hot flashes, you know, I'm starting to cramp and I can just feel. I just want it to start so bad.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

The anxiety of it before it comes is the worst, huh?

[Tom Segura]

It's the worst. I can't wait for menopause.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. What period. Are you using an app to track your cycle?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

What's the app?

[Tom Segura]

Keep bleeding.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

What do you use?

[Bert Kreischer]

Period tracker.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah, that's. That's what everybody used to use.

[Bert Kreischer]

You know, I. I don't know if this is true for you, but if I. I saw this on TikTok. Maddie Gates, I don't know if you know this, but she told her boyfriend. Does this happen to you when you eat spicy food? It makes your period spicy.

[Tom Segura]

Yes. That's so crazy. Yeah. Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

What about you? Where are you with your period?

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, my God. It's just like waiting for it to happen is the worst.

[Tom Segura]

Same. I think we're cycled up again.

[Bert Kreischer]

We are, yeah. It's going to be such a rough week.

[Tom Segura]

Many can have periods. A lot of people do.

[Bert Kreischer]

Not anymore. Not in Trump's America. I think we're done.

[Tom Segura]

I don't think I'm going to stop bleeding because there's somebody else in the White House.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's a good point. Guys, here's a great segue by my Perfect 4 lipstick. I'm wearing Berlin today because I'm feeling saucy. My period is spicy. You can get [e-mail] I have four colors. I say just buy them all. You know what I'm saying? Especially if you're a guy. You need a gift for your lady. For vd.

[Tom Segura]

It's your birthday. It's your birthday.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's a birthday.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Gonna have some exciting images coming up soon on Christina P.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, do it. So, yeah, that was cool. Having her here was cool, man.

[Bert Kreischer]

How are you feeling?

[Tom Segura]

Pretty good. I had a pretty, well, a period. Dump. You know, the worst.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, it was, like, runny.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Just, you know, hormones, man. But, yeah, other than that. Feel pretty good.

[Bert Kreischer]

Good.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Pretty good.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's exciting.

[Tom Segura]

I'm excited. Why don't we introduce this?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

[Christina P.]

I forgot.

[Bert Kreischer]

We haven't even done that.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Here we go.

[Bryce Mitchell]

Hitler, Helen. The Nazis. I. I really don't think that he was. Because I honestly think that Hitler was a good guy based upon my own research, not my public education indoctrination. I really do think before Hitler got on meth, he was a guy to go fishing with. He fought for his country. He wanted to purify it by kicking the greedy Jews out that were destroying his country and turning them all in. The gays.

[Tom Segura]

Don't bring anyone mother into this.

[Christina P.]

Welcome to your mom's house.

[Tom Segura]

And Christina Pajit.

[Christina P.]

Welcome to your mom's house.

[Bert Kreischer]

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Yeah. Meow, meow. Oh, meow, meow, meow, meow.

[Bryce Mitchell]

I honestly think that Hitler was a good guy.

[Tom Segura]

That was Bryce Mitchell on episode one of his podcasts, Arkansanity with Bryce Mitchell and Rolly Delgado. I think the best part of this whole thing is watching the other guy the whole time be like.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's like, what did I just get in?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. He's like, this is what. This is our first episode. What is this guy talking about?

[Bert Kreischer]

Hey, it's. He got us involved.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Here's the rest of the rest of it.

[Bryce Mitchell]

They were gaying out the kids. They were queering out the Women, they were queering out the dudes. You know what our first tranny surgery ever was? Happened to be in Germany before Hitler took over. You know the books that everybody makes fun of Hitler burning? You know what the books was? Queer books. Hitler burned queer books because Hitler didn't want a bunch of queers destroying his nation. They can't produce children. But okay, what about.

[Bert Kreischer]

So what's he gonna say?

[Tom Segura]

He's a UFC fighter and this is. There was a huge fall from this. And then I guess he has s since then. What, apologized?

[Christina P.]

Yeah, yeah, he came out.

[Tom Segura]

Dana ripped his ass. Like, in a press conference. He was. I said, he's like. He goes. Dana started his press conference going. He goes, you know, I've been around a lot of dumb people.

[Bert Kreischer]

But it's a great intro.

[Tom Segura]

This is the dumbest person that we've ever encountered.

[Bert Kreischer]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

So scroll up a little bit, actually. Oh, I'm sorry I sounded insensitive. I definitely was not trying to offend anybody. Course not. But I know I did. I know that a lot of people died in the Holocaust. That's a fact. Hitler did a lot of evil things. I think we can all agree on that. I'm definitely not a Nazi. Definitely do not condone any of the evil things that he did. I'm talking about the cool he did. A lot of people are ignoring.

[Bert Kreischer]

What I'm trying to say is everybody only talks about the bad stuff. What about the good stuff?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, man.

[Bryce Mitchell]

Queer books.

[Bert Kreischer]

Now the real question is, what's episode two gonna be like?

[Tom Segura]

Know if there will be a second episode, because your second episode would have to be all about your first episode. I don't know.

[Bryce Mitchell]

Before Hitler got on meth, he was a guy to go fishing with.

[Bert Kreischer]

You think math really turned Hitler bad?

[Tom Segura]

That also might be. You know, there's. Sometimes you hear sentences that might be the first time that sentence was ever spoken. Like, ever in the history of human.

[Bert Kreischer]

Would be a cool guy.

[Tom Segura]

Before Hitler was on meth, that's a guy I'd go fishing with. Oh, yeah, here's. Here's. This was great, by the way.

[Dana White]

And I'm sure you guys heard what Bryce Mitchell said. If you haven't said some. Probably I've heard a lot of dumb, ignorant shit in my head, but this one's probably the worst. When you talk about Hitler, he's responsible for the death of 6 million Jews, and he tried to completely eliminate a race of people. World War II was the deadliest war in history. 15 million military deaths, 45 million civilians, and 25 million soldiers were killed in World War II. Second of all, Hitler is one of the most disgusting and evil human beings to ever walk the face of the earth. And anyone that even tries to take an opposing position is a moron. That's the problem with the Internet and social media. You provide a platform for a lot of dumb, ignorant people. We've obviously reached out to Bryce and we read what he said and let him know how we feel about it. I don't even. We're beyond disgusted.

[Tom Segura]

He then went on to say, it was great, though, because he was like. He's like, you know. Yeah, he can say it because you can say what you want. He goes, but what's great is that, you know, he will be in the octagon and then everybody can just cheer for him to get the kicked out.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah. Everybody has alternate research now. They're like, you know, I know that's.

[Tom Segura]

What we all learn, but I did my own research.

[Bert Kreischer]

What kind of research?

[Tom Segura]

The indoctrinated. They feed you about Hitler being a knucklehead because he wasn't.

[Bert Kreischer]

Everyone's got their alternate stuff. It's pretty cool.

[Tom Segura]

People always saying this guy was up to no good. I found out he was burning queer books. And that's cool.

[Bert Kreischer]

That is cool.

[Tom Segura]

Yep, yep. Yes.

[Bert Kreischer]

Unreal. Gaying out the kids.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

They're always worried about gaying out the kids.

[Tom Segura]

Yep.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's the biggest women.

[Bryce Mitchell]

They were queering out the dudes.

[Bert Kreischer]

I don't know is they're always so worried that the homosexuality is contagious.

[Tom Segura]

I don't think people are really. Yeah, yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

They get really upset.

[Tom Segura]

People who wear camo really fear it the most.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

The. I'm gonna catch this from you. Don't come around here. The other thing that all like, like hillbillies think too, is that any gay man wants. Wants to them. Yeah. Them in particular. Like.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

£330. Just like gut hanging out face. Looks like got grow like mold and growing. And they're like, I don't want no gay guy trying to me. Like, no one's trying to you, man.

[Bert Kreischer]

Nobody.

[Tom Segura]

Gay guys, straight guys, straight women, gay women. No one wants to.

[Bert Kreischer]

Nobody wants to you nobody come around.

[Tom Segura]

Here see me naked and try to me.

[Christina P.]

So afraid.

[Tom Segura]

What do you think?

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, no.

[Tom Segura]

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[Bert Kreischer]

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[Tom Segura]

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[Bert Kreischer]

That's a good name for the podcast.

[Tom Segura]

I do hope he keeps it up.

[Bert Kreischer]

I do too. I mean, shit, I'm excited.

[Tom Segura]

Is he gon it up? They already announced that they're canceling. Cuz that would be a shame.

[Bert Kreischer]

I don't want them to let me keep going.

[Christina P.]

Dude, there's another episode already.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that'd be rad.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Bryce, don't. Don't let Dana White scare you. You got a voice. Please.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, let's just see. I mean, maybe our type in the. Yeah, okay. He's got to got some. He's probably got some views on episode one, right? Oh, only.

[Christina P.]

Only one episode.

[Tom Segura]

Threw in the towel, huh?

[Bert Kreischer]

You gotta keep going, bud.

[Tom Segura]

Gotta get it going, bud. Oh, man. Well, yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

What can you do?

[Tom Segura]

What can you do?

[Bert Kreischer]

What can you do?

[Tom Segura]

So, yeah, there's. There's some stuff I want to show you. Where did I. Looking for this very awesome person. I don't wanna. I don't wanna. Oh, yeah. Look, this is enough.

[Christina P.]

Oof.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oof.

[Tom Segura]

I just moved into my apartment today. I heard construction about me all day.

[Tom Green]

But I let it go like it.

[Tom Segura]

Was nothing because I didn't want to.

[Tom Green]

Believe that they would come here and do this. And then only they didn't attack me. It's non stop.

[Tom Segura]

Don't tell me you th. Do this to me.

[Bert Kreischer]

What is happening?

[Tom Segura]

She's a paranoid schizophrenic.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, they've been attacking her all day. The construction on top.

[Christina P.]

Oh.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, God. I got it.

[Tom Segura]

But the snot thing, I thought was.

[Bert Kreischer]

That was really cool. I like that.

[Tom Segura]

And it's cool to upload right after you have it. You can go like, should. I.

[Bert Kreischer]

Should not hurt. She just goes right in.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

That was really nice. Thank you.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

I thought she got maced because her eyes are all red and. No. Makes your nose run.

[Tom Segura]

No. Also, have you ever seen this skill before? There's so many, like, talented people out there and you just. They. That's the cool thing. I mean, Dana was saying the bad thing about the Internet, social media. The good thing is that you discover talents.

[Bert Kreischer]

Let's see it. Oh, wow. Oh, wow.

[Tom Segura]

Right?

[Bert Kreischer]

How's he doing that?

[Tom Segura]

I guess he's a professional throat whistler.

[Christina P.]

Oh, wow.

[Tom Segura]

Look at that. Captivated audience. Oh, look at that kid.

[Bert Kreischer]

Kid loves it. And he's feeling. Oh, my goodness. Wow.

[Tom Segura]

That kid's trying to whistle. He was like, yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Everybody's like, how is he doing this?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. We don't know how he's doing it. Here's the thing. That's 1984.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Right. That's four years ago. Guess what?

[Bert Kreischer]

What?

[Tom Segura]

He's still doing it.

[Bert Kreischer]

No.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, he's still doing it.

[Bert Kreischer]

Wow. I bet his talent got even better. Wow.

[Tom Segura]

Unbelievable.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, he's doing ymca. That's cool.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. That's Ralph whistle on Instagram.

[Bert Kreischer]

Beautiful.

[Tom Segura]

And I've lost myself on his page before.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, my bad.

[Tom Segura]

Just like hours, I bet.

[Christina P.]

Wait a minute.

[Tom Segura]

Yes. I'm confused. Are we not gonna. Are we not going to talk about.

[Christina P.]

How we know this guy?

[Tom Segura]

You don't remember this guy? No.

[Bert Kreischer]

What?

[Tom Segura]

No way. This guy, like, pissed you off before. Remember he did in the L A studio?

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

How?

[Christina P.]

We saw this guy a long time ago.

[Bert Kreischer]

He was like, you know what? That was the oldest. That was L A Snobby us. We appreciate talent.

[Tom Segura]

Now, what is wrong. Here's the thing. I don't even want to revisit that. Whatever.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, that sounds like a dark time for Tom and I. We would never discourage talent.

[Tom Segura]

Also, that was before I became a Texan.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. I like this guy's attitude. He's pro America.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

What is wrong with you?

[Tom Segura]

I mean, I'm. I'm. First of all, I feel like you're not telling the truth. And secondly.

[Bert Kreischer]

Lies.

[Christina P.]

Sorry about that. I must have been mistaken.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

What is wrong with you?

[Tom Segura]

Jesus Christ. This guy.

[Bert Kreischer]

Ralph Geese. Is that how you say it?

[Tom Segura]

I think. Can you try to do it?

[Bert Kreischer]

Can you do it?

[Tom Segura]

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[Bert Kreischer]

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[Bert Kreischer]

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[Tom Segura]

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[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, he makes his mouth move and it makes the, the sounds go up and.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know, I'm. I like it.

[Bert Kreischer]

I love it.

[Tom Segura]

Very cool. I think it's very cool.

[Bert Kreischer]

I like. How many different songs does he have there on that Instagram?

[Tom Segura]

Oh my God.

[Bert Kreischer]

Let's hear it.

[Tom Segura]

Happy Thor's day, everyone. Oh. I am Whistler.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yes.

[Christina P.]

You are Whistler.

[Tom Segura]

I am, Yeah.

[Christina P.]

I am Whistler.

[Bert Kreischer]

Whoa. Is he kidding me?

[Tom Segura]

It's unbelievable.

[Bert Kreischer]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

Thank you. That's great. Thank you.

[Bert Kreischer]

You know, I see that he's smoking cigarettes. I don't want him to damage his instrument there.

[Tom Segura]

Well, I think probably at this point he knows.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. How to, how to do that. Yeah, he's. He's been cultivating this talent for 40 years.

[Tom Segura]

For so long. Yeah, it's really incredible.

[Bert Kreischer]

I'm, you know, that's. That's amazing. That's quite a talent. Yeah, it's very exciting. When a man know has a special talent. It makes me excited.

[Tom Segura]

Yes. Another update you're not going to believe. Guess who is back at it.

[Christina P.]

Oh, Blaze man here. I've been blown out back since 96, bro.

[Tom Segura]

You know, if you're a single female.

[Christina P.]

And you're local, hit my line, baby.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yes. Wait a minute. The ladies man, he's back. I guess he broke up with his girlfriend.

[Tom Segura]

He broke up. He's in a public restroom. He is letting you know that he is back on the scene. He's doing like Tony John's. Yeah, kind of Blown out back since 96.

[Bert Kreischer]

Woo.

[Tom Segura]

Giving out the phone number publicly.

[Bert Kreischer]

Can I just say, and I, I like that Tony was in a relationship, but I like Tony John single. Even more single.

[Tom Segura]

Tony is kind of the most fun.

[Bert Kreischer]

Who he is. This is when he shines.

[Tom Segura]

Here's the only concern that I have personally because I am a Tony fan and I want to see Tony succeed. I don't know that that's just orange juice.

[Bert Kreischer]

I know.

[Tom Segura]

Thinking. I know that he's not just a citrus fan.

[Bert Kreischer]

I know. I thought the same thing.

[Tom Segura]

I hope it is not a screwdriver in a carry case. I hope it's not a leader of.

[Bert Kreischer]

The screwdriver because that's what they do. I've seen people do that. I know. I know. I'm not. Listen, let's give Tony the benefit of the doubt.

[Tom Segura]

Of the doubt. We need you sober and slinging dick out there.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's right.

[Tom Segura]

I don't want you inebriated.

[Bert Kreischer]

No. And keep working, Tony. Keep getting a job. Because I think the job is what keeps him in line and on track.

[Tom Segura]

It's true.

[Bert Kreischer]

I don't like him Unemployed. Different idle hands.

[Tom Segura]

Different men attract women in different ways. You know?

[Bert Kreischer]

That's so true.

[Tom Segura]

Like there's certain guys that, like, I don't know, some guys do this.

[Bert Kreischer]

I don't like.

[Tom Segura]

Your man doesn't have a lean, energetic, strong physique.

[Bert Kreischer]

I don't like it.

[Tom Segura]

Get you off the pill in toxic cosmetics and build a purpose driven business and lead protect and like, he's one of those.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's not for me, but he.

[Tom Segura]

This. It's still an angle. It's just an angle.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's a way to get laid.

[Tom Segura]

Certain chicks are gonna see that, be like, I like him.

[Bert Kreischer]

I know, but it's too aggressive. I personally, I mean, you've known this about me. I like the weirdos. I like a dark knight. I like. I'm into, you know, the vampires. I like Peter Murphy. I like Robert Smith. I like this. I like Depeche Mode. I like Dave Gahan. I like these.

[Tom Segura]

You really do like that.

[Bert Kreischer]

Out of shape. A little weird. I. I'm. I'm okay. There's something about the dark. See, I love the darkness. I'm. And look, I love you because I do think that deep down inside you are a serial killer. And I think that's why I'm very into you. I'm drawn to your darkness. Do you. But I'm just saying. Look, remember. Remember when I was your fantasy Tina and I dressed up along. I did it like three times for you.

[Tom Segura]

Yes.

[Bert Kreischer]

It took hours to put prosthetic boobs and lips. Hours.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

All I'm saying is I did that for You. Do you think you could do that for me?

[Tom Segura]

Dress up like Tina?

[Bert Kreischer]

No, like, dress up like Robert Smith or, you know, Peter Murphy or Dave.

[Tom Segura]

Kahan, one of your goth heroes.

[Bert Kreischer]

Just once. You've never worn black eyeliner. You've never put on any of my lipsticks. And I have every shade for every skin tone. You didn't even try red.

[Tom Segura]

Look, Hitler. What he did was he got rid of the queers.

[Bert Kreischer]

They're not queer. They're all married to women.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

I'm just saying.

[Tom Segura]

I know. It's so weird that. That. See, that's the thing, though. That's a different angle. So, like, of course, one of those guys could totally seduce you.

[Bert Kreischer]

They did.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

You know how many weirdos. Yeah, that's. That's how they got in. But that's okay. You know what, though? It. Can I just. Can I talk to you for a second?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, sure.

[Bert Kreischer]

The point of the story is, this is what attracted me primally. Like, my young Christina loves the dark. Even. Even when I was Just. Listen to me.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

I mean, I'm talking 1984. I'm watching MTV. I'm not into, you know, the metal guys. I'm into David Bowie.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

I saw him in the video for Blue Jean. Put. Bring up David Bowie, Blue Jean. And instantly I knew this is the kind of guy I like. I like the British weirdos. I like guys in eyeliner. I like pale faces and. And. And cheekbones and cigarettes and out of shape is okay. I just. This. This. Something inside of me was like, that's the one.

[Tom Segura]

He's not. He's just thin.

[Bert Kreischer]

He's real thin, real gaunt. I like the. A sort of sick.

[Tom Segura]

I'm the opposite, but that's what I'm saying.

[Bert Kreischer]

So then later on, I matured. I got mature. And can I. Can I tell you something? Real talk.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

I met you, and because you're an actual alpha male, something primal, too, switched on in me. And I was like, this is the guy. I finally found a real man. Because this is a different lane.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

These are effeminate males.

[Tom Segura]

Totally.

[Bert Kreischer]

But your masculinity. I was all in your smell. I just like. I still. I. I'm very attracted to you.

[Tom Segura]

Good.

[Bert Kreischer]

But maybe we could merge Bowie with Tom.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Bert Kreischer]

Robert Smith.

[Tom Segura]

We will.

[Bert Kreischer]

Will you do it?

[Tom Segura]

No. Please. We'll talk about.

[Bert Kreischer]

Just once. Oh, there he is. I still love him. I think he looks great.

[Tom Segura]

Look at that.

[Bert Kreischer]

I love it.

[Tom Segura]

I think he looks great.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, of course. It's Robert Smith, babe.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, he's so cute. And I like that he stuck to it. He's still wearing the black eyeshadow. He's got the lipstick. His hair looks great.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, he looks good. You definitely got it there. He looks good.

[Bert Kreischer]

I would take 10 Robert Smiths over like one. That fit guy that we just saw. I'm not into the fit guy. No, this, this is not very. This aesthetic is exciting always until the day I die.

[Tom Segura]

But do you think it's because you know Robert Smith and his talent when you see this image?

[Bert Kreischer]

No, this is. This is the look. No, my sexuality was formed watching like 80s alt boys. Do you know what I'm saying? Like that 9 year old Christina in 1984. Watching David Bowie was like. That was my sexual beginning.

[Tom Segura]

Sure.

[Bert Kreischer]

The Clash, watching, you know, Joe Strummer, these weirdos. I like weirdos.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, you do. You've always liked weirdos. Because you also like. That was that actor that you always liked. He's weird.

[Bert Kreischer]

So many.

[Tom Segura]

No, the guy, dark hair, Buffalo 66 guy.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, yeah, yeah. What's his name?

[Tom Segura]

I forget.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, he's so funny. I like that weirdo stuff. Yeah. Vincent Gall. That's my aesthetic. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

That dude for real looks like. Like Charles Manson.

[Bert Kreischer]

I know, I love it. I love crazy. Now put some black eyeliner and red lipstick.

[Tom Segura]

And now, is that a still from a movie or just life? The. With the denim, the dark denim on looks great. I mean, is that just like him out there? Because it's just in the world, right? You're like, yeah, he's an interesting guy.

[Bert Kreischer]

Ah, I just love it.

[Tom Segura]

Really.

[Bert Kreischer]

You know, there's mystery there. I'll tell you why. Because the average guy, I want you to die.

[Tom Segura]

What does he say? Oh, in the Police. Okay.

[Bert Kreischer]

The average guy.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, he plays the Golden State.

[Bert Kreischer]

Can I talk to you for a second?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

I'm just the average guy. The average male is not very emotionally intelligent. Right. You can do this. Come eat. Right. These guys pretend to be a little more emotionally available to women.

[Tom Segura]

Yes.

[Bert Kreischer]

And that's why. So I think that's why teenage me was like, oh, he gets me. Robert Smith. If I met him, I would just have to meet him and he would fall in love with me. Right. We talked about this before and then we would talk about our feelings and he would get that I'm a depressed teenager. Like, that's the.

[Tom Segura]

I'm depressed too.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Yeah. And then we'd fucking.

[Tom Segura]

And we are back and we are thrilled to bring back one of our favorite guests of all time. The great Tom Green, everybody.

[Christina P.]

Oh, wow. This Is amazing.

[Tom Segura]

You know, most people are content to have one new project. Why three? Well, is it greed? Is it just being greedy? Sounds very greedy. I need a documentary, I need a series, I need a special. I mean, how much did you fleece Amazon for in this negotiation?

[Christina P.]

You know, it wasn't too bad. Wasn't too bad. Nice, but. No, it was cool. I, it started out with a documentary about the sort of the history of my show and stuff like that. And they all kind of tie together and they all, all tie together. There's a standup special which kind of talks about my new adventures and on my farm in Canada.

[Tom Segura]

Dude, I just saw the trailer, I saw the trailer for this and it looks fascinating that, like, you really decided to. You were l. A guy obviously well known as an entertainer and comedian. And then you're like, I'm out of here and I'm going to go to, I'm going to get a farm in Canada.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, I mean, it's interesting because, like, I grew up in Canada. I didn't, I didn't leave Canada until I was 28 years old. So.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And then I just ended up in L. A when the show was on and never left for 20 years, you know. But I mean, I did love, love living in la. It was fun being there and it was always good doing, doing stand up. It was a good time to be in la. But I guess when the pandemic happened, I thought, I don't want to be in LA anymore. And so I moved back, found this farm. Didn't really know anything about farming.

[Tom Segura]

That was gonna be my question.

[Christina P.]

Like, I didn't grow up as a farmer. No, I was.

[Bert Kreischer]

What did you intend to know?

[Tom Segura]

What did you know? What did you know?

[Christina P.]

So I, I do enjoy the outdoors. Like, I would go, I like going fishing and, and nature and wilderness and stuff like that. So. So I basically found this place because I just kind of want to live out in, in sort of the wilderness and just because I'm, you know, I'm still touring all the time and when you come home, I thought it'd be cool to be like, not in the city.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And so that's where it started. But there's these two old barns on the property. And then you think, oh, maybe I should get a mule. Right. That seemed like a logical thing to do. So. And then it just took off from there. But it's, it's been best, best, best experience, best thing I've ever really decided.

[Tom Segura]

So.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, I'm so happy to have, how.

[Tom Segura]

Long have you been on the farm.

[Christina P.]

Now it's basically this three and a half years, pretty much. And do you feel like.

[Tom Segura]

Because one of the things that I would think after this amount of time is that you've learned a lot on that farm.

[Christina P.]

It's like starting with the mule. The mule. This is Fanny. If people can see Fanny here, this is. She is an incredible mule. And it started out, you know, the idea to get a mule for me was I was thinking, oh, that'd be kind of funny, like, because I was picturing it looking like a. More like a donkey.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christina P.]

Because mule looks more like a horse.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christina P.]

No, mule is half horse, half donkey. And I didn't know this. So they have, like, one less chromosome than a horse and one more than a donkey, or maybe it's the other way around because it's a hybrid. And so because of that, they. They're really smart and they're stubborn. People say they're stubborn, but they're really smart. And you sort of start to learn all this stuff about these animals. In order to ride her, for example, like, you know, it's taken a. She didn't. She wouldn't turn left for about the first six months. I mean, she. Because she. She figured out that I knew. Didn't know what I was doing, and she just wouldn't listen to me. So I had to kind of get some training and stuff. But. But now I've really kind of have this really close daily relationship where I get up and I ride her off into the wilderness, and there's all sorts of places to ride on her around the property. And it's the most relaxing thing because, you know, it's. You know, when you walk outside in nature, it can kind of relax you because you sort of. Sort of brings you back to your primal sort of instincts of being, you know, you know, predators and, you know, fight or flight and all this stuff. But when you're on a mule, you're also worried about, like, falling off and, you know, breaking your neck, too. So you really. It snaps you into the moment. And just. That's what I'm doing now. I'm riding around on my mule. And I love it, but it's. It's an amazing thing. So a lot of it's been a daily sort of thing, figuring out how to look after her and then. And then lots of other stuff, too.

[Bert Kreischer]

Do you grow food? Are you growing anything?

[Christina P.]

Just like a garden. Not. It's not really hay. We grow hay. There's, like. There's hay fields that we cut.

[Tom Segura]

Crazy thing about you telling this is that I also, I also would believe that this is an elaborate prank. Like if, if you just revealed you. Like, we were like, dude, I don't have a farm.

[Christina P.]

I wish it was, in a way, but then I wouldn't get to live there. So. Yeah, no, I mean, I, I've been thinking about this because I've been talking about the show a lot lately. You know, it's. Because it just came out last week and, and, you know, people have suggested that it's maybe the most normal thing that I've done in my life, but I don't know, it's. You know, how, you know, how, you know. You know, when I started my show, we've talked about this before, but it was sort of back in the early days of video and stuff and, you know, going out in the street and doing this crazy, crazy stuff was kind of, you know, not, not as normal. But now you see it everywhere, right on TikTok and people painting their parents house and doing pranks and all this stuff.

[Tom Segura]

They're all doing that.

[Christina P.]

And it was start. It's, you know, at a certain point, as I've gotten older, I thought, well, you know, because I can't really keep doing that, you know. And then you start to think, well, what would be probably the weirdest thing I could do would be to just go do something normal now. Right. Because it seems almost like there's so much weird shit out there.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Maybe just to go do something, you know, normal.

[Tom Segura]

There's got to weird people that are watching you do something normal, and the whole time they're like, he's gonna. There's gonna be a turn here any second.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, yeah. You know, but it's, it's. The show's really funny. I mean, it's, it's. It's. My relationship with my parents is hilarious. They're on the show.

[Tom Segura]

You're so lucky to have your parents still.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. And that, that's, that's really the main reason I moved back to Canada. And I, I thought, well, I'm gonna move back to Canada, be close to my parents and my brother and. And then.

[Tom Segura]

How far are they from you now?

[Christina P.]

They're about like 30 minutes away. Perfect. And so they're. They're actually at the farm right now and, you know, got, you know, so it's great. But yeah, so it's. They're. They're on the show and they're. They're hilarious. Like, they get all the big laughs on the show. I mean, they're kind of. The tables have turned a bit. They're kind of razzing me on the show now, so I'm not pulling pranks on them and stuff anymore. They're sort of. They may pull a prank on me on the show. I don't want to give it away, but if you watch the show, there's. They may sort of flip it around on me a little bit.

[Bert Kreischer]

They're so sweet.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, but it's. No, it's. And also, you know, I shot all the shows too, so it's like, you know, I, you know, I get my cameras and I'm still doing, you know, I always like this tech stuff. Right. We're talking about the microphone before the show. So I've got my. I get my cameras and I'm really kind of enjoying just the creative, you know, process of filming and directing these shows. I directed these shows. The last thing I directed was Freddy Got Fingered. So, you know, it's going to be. It's going to be good.

[Tom Segura]

Hell, yeah. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

It's going to be like, good. Like Fred Finger legendary.

[Tom Segura]

That's a classic, dude.

[Christina P.]

Exactly.

[Bert Kreischer]

I loved it. Daddy, would you like some sausage?

[Christina P.]

Exactly.

[Tom Segura]

So this, because you did inspire so many people to do weird and prank stuff. Like, one of the things we do, we encourage people to go to Starbucks. And then in, like the latest one we've. Because we've done different versions of this is we try to tell them, please use a British accent, please say Happy Birthday.

[Christina P.]

Okay. And.

[Tom Segura]

And try to say I love you if you can also. And then we have people send in videos of them doing it. So people have been submitting. So this is like an example of what people are sending in for us.

[Christina P.]

Nice talking. Hello.

[Tom Segura]

Hello.

[Bert Kreischer]

Happy birthday.

[Christina P.]

Everybody. Now Starbucks is just like, what the hell is going on with this influx of British people? That's awesome. Oh, nice.

[Tom Segura]

Thank you for choosing Starbucks. How can I get started for you?

[Christina P.]

Hello. Hello. My place. Have one lemonade and warm water. Not bad, not bad.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah. What size you want?

[Christina P.]

Medium. And that will be all. Happy birthday. Oh, my gosh. Have you heard?

[Tom Segura]

I like that he. That guy was like, yeah, yeah.

[Christina P.]

Have you heard from Starbucks?

[Tom Segura]

Not yet.

[Christina P.]

This is. This is. This has got to be starting to kind of like, they must be starting to wonder at this point, like, if every Starbucks is this worldwide. No. Do our British people, when they go to startups, are they talking in an American accent really good?

[Tom Segura]

Because we actually told them, I think last week we were like, hey, if the. Some people feel like they're British is so bad. We're like, just do a different accent. Yeah, Just don't speak in your natural accent.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And then I think adding happy birthday. Such a curve ball to somebody who's like, why? Why are you saying Happy Birthday to me?

[Christina P.]

No, they say Happy birthday to the Starbucks.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christina P.]

Everybody. Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. You just have to say happy Birthday.

[Bert Kreischer]

Well, it started with I love you. We just tell people we loved them, and sometimes they'd be like, I love you, too. Yeah, you have to call the mommy. We would call them Mommy.

[Tom Segura]

I love you is a really interesting one, though, because it throws people sometimes. Like, I'd pull up and be like, I love you. And they were like, what?

[Christina P.]

Everybody's filming it and putting it up online. Right? So, okay.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

It's a very. It's kind of a nice prank, though. I mean, that's one thing exactly. Which is. Which is cool. Like, I mean, it's sort of. Nobody's getting hurt here.

[Bert Kreischer]

I mean, positive.

[Christina P.]

It's actually just kind of a nice accent to hear. It probably even improves the day of the Starbucks employee. You know, we've got a lot of these nice British tourists here, and it's very kind of positive.

[Tom Segura]

And this guy did a nice one.

[Christina P.]

Upbeat welcome to Starbucks. I was writing anything to eat for you? No, thank you, love. Could I get a venti hot pistachio latte, please? Yeah, could you make that with moose soup?

[Tom Segura]

He's doing, like, little inside stuff.

[Christina P.]

I'm sorry, how you say in English, oat milk? Okay, he's saying English in English. That cheese Danish is talking to me now. You know, I'm trying not to eat carbs when I see it, though. Little Paul McCartney in there for a second. I know when I see it, I think, just let me eat you one time. I better not, love. Let's just stick, please.

[Bert Kreischer]

Anything else?

[Christina P.]

That's it.

[Bert Kreischer]

Okay, Come on up.

[Christina P.]

Thank you. Happy birthday.

[Tom Segura]

He's really getting some good.

[Christina P.]

What's everybody. How are you?

[Bert Kreischer]

What's everybody.

[Christina P.]

Oh, F, A, R, T. Let me grab. Okay, I sniff that one. Is that a. Is that a thing Brit say or show?

[Bert Kreischer]

They're all show references.

[Tom Segura]

Show references.

[Christina P.]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. So he's really keeping it, like, inside baseball.

[Christina P.]

Oh, yeah. Oh, it didn't tap. Let me check.

[Tom Segura]

His accent's also fading, which is he.

[Christina P.]

Has he appeared on the show before or is this his Sort of. So this is. He's going to be stoked about this, too. I mean, he's just rose to the top of the pack of British Starbucks ordering pranksters.

[Tom Segura]

Exactly.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, exactly. That's amazing. Well, yeah, that's always was. We, we tried a few things like that back in the day. It's so much fun when you get people involved. Right?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, it's more fun.

[Christina P.]

And, and it's. I. I'm actually kind of impressed though that you, you're such a nice sort of warm.

[Tom Segura]

It's a nice one thing.

[Christina P.]

It's not nothing too one thing.

[Tom Segura]

I saw.

[Christina P.]

Crazy about it. Maybe you could probably make it a little crazier.

[Tom Segura]

You can make it crazy.

[Christina P.]

You could probably get them to throw a. Throw something or.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh my God. Okay.

[Christina P.]

Throw some cheese. Throw some cheese at them or something. No, no, I'm just kidding. It's nicer like this because you don't want, you know, you don't want people getting hurt. Right? You don't want to send people out to get hurt. I used to, we did when I did a college radio show before, like my show I started when I was like, not in college, but I was. I guess I was in high school. I went down to the university station and I started this radio show in Ottawa. And after it was midnight till two in the morning and it was the only, you know, time slot they would give me. And at two in the morning I'd say to everyone listening, meet me on Parliament Hill in Canada in the front lawn of the Parliament buildings. Bring a soccer ball and some pizza and we go play soccer on the front lawn of the Parliament Building. Still about at 2am at 2am till, you know, the sun came up, basically.

[Tom Segura]

How many people would come out?

[Christina P.]

Like 60 people would come out. Yeah, it was, it was pretty cool. And it sort of became this thing that we did for a few years there, which we. Well, you know, not every week but, you know, every. Probably did it 20 times.

[Tom Segura]

How many of the 60 were you concerned about? Were you like, this guy's fucking. There'd be a few right there. The guy listening at 1:30.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

I mean, and it's guys, it's not girls.

[Christina P.]

It was all. It was all. No, it was always kind of people that I find anybody that ever got involved or engaged in things like that were usually pretty kind of creative people. Like, like these guys and like they kind of were into the spirit of it. I mean, there hasn't been too many situations where it was. Yeah, a lot like today, you know, where it's online and you read, you know, I don't see the kind of things that come in online. It gets a little nutty sometimes.

[Tom Segura]

A Lot of the pranks now are like. Like, to really elicit, almost like elicit violence and, like. And get people. I feel like it's. I don't know, I don't find it that.

[Christina P.]

It seems to me like there's a.

[Tom Segura]

Guy that bumps into people.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And then when people are like, what the. He has a body bodyguard.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And you're like, that's not.

[Bert Kreischer]

I like that fart guy you and I pass to each other. The guy that just beefs in front of chicks.

[Tom Segura]

It's a fart machine.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, sure, sure.

[Tom Segura]

And that's really. He's like, welcome to the barbecue.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Leslie Nielsen used to do that all the time. This is comedy. You know, farting machines are comedy.

[Tom Segura]

You know, another one that I feel like it's not mean, but it's so funny to kind of like, this guy is in a clothing store and he's asking for pants that they don't have a size they don't have.

[Christina P.]

Right, right.

[Tom Segura]

And then they just keep asking. The guy's like, we don't have that. And. And then he's like, well, what kind do you want? And the guy's like, this. 35, 30. He's like, yeah, we don't. We have zero. He's like, no, not a zero. We want a 35, 30. And the. They just keep going back and forth like.

[Christina P.]

It's interesting how, like, things going on too long has become sort of quite.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christina P.]

Fun to watch.

[Tom Segura]

It's fun.

[Christina P.]

I did a video once that was just a throwaway thing that was on my public access show. It. I don't think it even aired on mtv because MTV aired. Re. Aired the stuff from the old show, and it's now become one of the most brought up videos where I went to Subway and I just ordered a sub. And then I said, oh, can I have a little more lettuce, please? And can I have a little more tomato? Okay. Add just a little more black olives, please. Little salt and pepper, some oil. Can have some. A little extra mayonnaise. Can I have a little more lettuce? But it went on for like 20 minutes, right. The subsystem. And this is one of these things where, you know, hearing that Subway's been having people doing this, you know.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah. But just a little more.

[Christina P.]

But it was a nothing bit. It was a nothing bit. And then all of a sudden, YouTube. It's like the one that popped on YouTube more than any of them.

[Bert Kreischer]

What's interesting is that. Is Subway allowed to refuse you the first Free items.

[Christina P.]

That's the sort of the loophole. That's what I felt was kind of like the interesting loophole. Cuz there's nowhere. There's a sign where it says you can't have a little more lettuce. You know, like there's no rule that. That.

[Tom Segura]

And it's subject a little more subjective.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You know.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, but it's not like avocado, which is a premium item.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, I redid this. Exactly. And then the notice in 1994, they don't wear the gloves either pointed out, but. But extra cheese as well. I guess I'll get some lettuce. Just a little more lettuce. I'll get some tomatoes, black olives. Look at me.

[Bert Kreischer]

Look at the baby.

[Christina P.]

He's probably 25 or there or something. Two pickles. And I guess we'll get some pepper, a little bit of lettuce. A little more lettuce as well. And some mayonnaise. And I guess a couple more tomatoes.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's so funny. Why is it funny?

[Tom Segura]

Because, you know, silly building.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's a huge sandwich.

[Christina P.]

And some pepper. A few more black olives as well. Just a few more tomatoes.

[Bert Kreischer]

So much.

[Christina P.]

I guess a little bit of green pepper and some onion as well, please.

[Tom Segura]

And it's polite. That also helps. You're very polite.

[Christina P.]

And some mayonnaise, I guess.

[Tom Segura]

I guess I want some.

[Bert Kreischer]

The. The monotone.

[Christina P.]

It's funny to me that we're actually watching this in its entirety right now. We're not only annoying everybody back then, but we're annoying everybody now as well.

[Bert Kreischer]

I love it. So heavy.

[Tom Segura]

Look at that. Just scroll to the end of this.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, it's only halfway through.

[Bert Kreischer]

He never says anything to you.

[Tom Segura]

Look at that thing, dude.

[Christina P.]

A little mayonnaise.

[Bert Kreischer]

Now. He's shaking his head.

[Christina P.]

Some lettuce. That's it.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, he. Oh, he stopped you there.

[Christina P.]

I actually forgot whether he drew the line or not or whether I quit.

[Tom Segura]

He did.

[Bert Kreischer]

He put toothpicks in it.

[Christina P.]

I don't. I don't know, but I tell you, that was a good.

[Tom Segura]

You had to push that guy. Yeah, that sweet man. You pushed him to the point where he goes, that's it, that's it, man. I'm not doing none of this anymore.

[Christina P.]

There's something about.

[Tom Segura]

You already got 17 sandwiches worth in this sandwich. Yeah, that's it.

[Christina P.]

I think that started out. That idea started out out of necessity, you know, because I didn't have much money when I was a kid and we'd go skateboarding. We were hungry.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

So it's like you get a nice extra salad out of the deal.

[Tom Segura]

But that's awesome.

[Christina P.]

But, but yeah, there's something fun about like razzing fast food places because everybody relates to it, right? Everybody can get involved. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

But there's like, it's funny because there's this like line too. Like when you think about it, because nobody wants you to be like a dick to like an hourly wage person.

[Christina P.]

Right.

[Tom Segura]

But there's something like endearing about. You're, you're just, you're not, you're not demanding. That's a big like factor in it. You're not like, you're like. I guess I'll have a little more.

[Bert Kreischer]

Of that tone was great.

[Christina P.]

It's an interesting point because I thought about this quite a bit over the years because, you know, when I was a, when I was a kid there, like, you know, that guy was making a lot more money than I was, you know, like I didn't have a job. I was just running around the video camera and I was living in my parents basement and you know, razzing people in the street or messing with people. The subway, like I was punching up. You know what I mean? Like, this is, this was like, this wasn't, you know, me going around messing with, you know, people. And in the same way it kind of felt like speaking truth to power.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Like talking to the subway guy. You know, this is a. This guy's like, you know, a real sort of established sort of a member of our society that keeps society running. You know, I was just a kid in my parents basement without a job.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

I was going around. It was, it's more, more. I would apply it more to like security guards. Like we'd rather security guards a lot.

[Tom Segura]

Everybody hates security.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. And they kick us out of places for skateboarding and stuff like that. Charlie, come here. Come here. Come. My dog. Charlie's with me. Come here, Charlie, come. Should have introduced everyone. But so being young and going and doing pranks on the street and being young and broke and doing pranks on the street, it felt like less mean.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And no. So that's I think, kind of a distinguishing thing, I think. You know, you see, like everybody now has the phone. They can shoot perfect audio and video and, and the sort of, the, you know, the ability to enter this sort of world has gotten so much easier for people that, that you do get the people you're talking about who just haven't really thought it through. They're just trying to do something. Let's go you know, punch somebody or you know, be mean or. But like I, like I've been. I've been. I've been. I've been guilty of watching a lot of this stuff. Like I actually really like watching. I talk about this in my stand up special, but I'm not doing a bit. But I, I do watch Karen's getting arrested and tased a lot. Yeah, I do enjoy that. I watch Karen's getting arrested and tased is something that I really enjoy. And it's sort of mean because. Yeah. You're not sure who is the instigator here. Is the Karen the one that started it or is this sort of the mischievous young prankster? Sort of.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, they're not prankster. She definitely started it.

[Christina P.]

Started it. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

She got arrested.

[Christina P.]

Okay.

[Bert Kreischer]

She did. Can I see the beginning?

[Christina P.]

But then sometimes it's people capitalize on somebody who's maybe a little bit sort of, you know, because you can wind a Karen up pretty easily getting physical.

[Tom Segura]

She's about to throw her coffee. Oh yeah.

[Christina P.]

Oh wow. She really took a smack at him, huh? Wow. See? Yeah, I can't. I love this. I love watching this stuff. I can't really. Oh wow, she's really nice. Yeah, she's. The guy's grabbing her too. This is.

[Tom Segura]

Well, he's like, stay away from my lady.

[Christina P.]

But the thing I kind of wonder is, is the guy also kind of like sort of realizes, hey, this is some good content for my. For my TikTok, you know, so they kind of troll them in a little bit, which is also kind of fun.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, he's trying to get her, his lady away from her.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Holy crap. Oh my gosh. See at this point this guy has to realize that, you know, it's probably not a fair fight.

[Bert Kreischer]

No. But they are filming this Karen without her consent too, which is riling her up.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. She came at them though.

[Bert Kreischer]

I know.

[Tom Segura]

She got.

[Christina P.]

She.

[Tom Segura]

She was locked up for this older lady. Was.

[Christina P.]

The older lady was locked up.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Wow. Cuz she. Because she really.

[Tom Segura]

She got physical.

[Christina P.]

She really hurt that guy too.

[Tom Segura]

The whole thing.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, she really smacked him pretty good.

[Bert Kreischer]

Hot coffee at him. That's crazy.

[Christina P.]

It's the. This is sort of the. Our society just sort of crumbling basically is what's happening.

[Tom Segura]

Well, she got the story. He's wearing a Palestine shirt. That's what fired her up.

[Christina P.]

Oh, okay. So it's political too.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I got political too.

[Christina P.]

Oh boy. Okay, well. But I do find myself sort of watching a lot of this. I. I watch mostly tick tock now is pretty much what I watch now. I can't stop watching.

[Bert Kreischer]

I can't stop my. It's where I get my News of the World because it's.

[Christina P.]

Yo.

[Bert Kreischer]

Have you been on World Tick Tock yet?

[Christina P.]

No.

[Bert Kreischer]

Put that in as a search. So instead of your algorithm giving you what you want to see, you'll actually see what the. Is happening in the world. It's really interesting stuff. Or Euro Talk is cool, too.

[Christina P.]

Oh, you can turn off your algorithm. Well, you know, sabotage your algorithm.

[Tom Segura]

What's interesting is that we actually have some t. Tik Toks that I curate them and.

[Bert Kreischer]

But I like to highlight the marginalized communities, people without a voice.

[Christina P.]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Christina P.]

Taj Mahal in India. I'm sweating me bollocks off.

[Tom Segura]

Just about to pass out.

[Christina P.]

Dying for the. Apart from that. It's All Right.

[Bert Kreischer]

That was this gentleman's review.

[Christina P.]

Is he ordering a Starbucks or.

[Tom Segura]

I'm sweating me bollocks off. Other than that, it's. Right.

[Christina P.]

His review of the Taj Mahal.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And he has to take.

[Christina P.]

It's All Right.

[Tom Segura]

It's All Right. Actual modern marvel.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

So cool. That's. That would be my.

[Christina P.]

The Eight Wonders of the World. It's all right. I got to take a. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

God, man. Sweating.

[Christina P.]

And you're sure that's not on your algorithm?

[Bert Kreischer]

That's all I love.

[Christina P.]

Okay, here we go.

[Tom Segura]

Chiropractors. Okay. What could possibly be causing her back issues? Here we go. Put your elbows together. That's ridiculous.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. And then I want you to look at.

[Tom Segura]

She's like, did my tits just break?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, like, they ripped out.

[Tom Segura]

You should get this. Like that.

[Christina P.]

Society is crumbling.

[Bert Kreischer]

You think for my next round of boobs, I should get these? Because I still have to get reconstruction perfect. These are my. I haven't gotten my forever boobs yet.

[Tom Segura]

People say there's no such thing as perfection, but I'm looking at it. Those are perfect.

[Christina P.]

Just go with what Tom says. I don't want to weigh in on this, but.

[Bert Kreischer]

What. I mean, have you ever seen a.

[Tom Segura]

More perfect pair of tits?

[Christina P.]

I mean, they're. They're definitely like the. There's. There's like she did something there.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. There's something going on for sure. That's what I'm saying.

[Tom Segura]

Beautiful.

[Christina P.]

Oh, boy.

[Bert Kreischer]

Ah, this is a tattoo on the eyeballs.

[Christina P.]

Oh, yeah. Come on. My eyes. Do people do these things? I can't. Oh, man.

[Tom Segura]

Look at that. Yeah, but the end results are so cool.

[Bert Kreischer]

Dude, it's so worth it.

[Christina P.]

I can't even look at that.

[Tom Segura]

So Worth it.

[Bert Kreischer]

Come on.

[Christina P.]

I can't even look at that. To me, that just makes me so sad, really, to think that. Well, really, you like that?

[Bert Kreischer]

It's an artistic expression.

[Christina P.]

I just feel like, you know, the idea that you're gonna realize at some point that you want to sort of change your mind. Probably hard to do tattoo removal on the whites of your eyes, too.

[Tom Segura]

It probably is.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Yeah. That's.

[Tom Segura]

Probably stays in there pretty well.

[Christina P.]

You know, it's not. You can't go in. And the sort of like the. Pete Davidson just removed 200. I saw him on Fallon the other day was. Just removed all of his tattoos. Like 200 tattoos. And he's been doing it for a year.

[Tom Segura]

But he's been doing tattoo removal.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, wow. I just saw it on television. But I mean, it's like, I don't think you can do that with the whites of your eyes.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, I had. I started doing. I have a tramp stamp that I wanted to get removed. And I started. I did once, and I was like, I'm done. I don't want to go back for this. It's too painful. Yeah, it's like hot bacon grease.

[Christina P.]

Imagine doing your entire. Wow.

[Tom Segura]

200 grand he spent on tattoo removal. Wow.

[Bert Kreischer]

Good for him.

[Tom Segura]

Has been sober. That's cool.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, it's. I don't have a tattoo. I don't have one tattoo, so.

[Bert Kreischer]

But maybe you'll get your mule. Maybe Fanny.

[Christina P.]

You might get fanny. I could see that. Yeah, I could see that. It really is. It really is something, though. You guys, next time you guys are up in Canada on tour, you're going to come by the farm. We'll go.

[Tom Segura]

Where is it exactly?

[Christina P.]

Go ride some mules. It's sort of outside of Ottawa. No, Ottawa Valley.

[Tom Segura]

No, Give me the address.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Okay. I'll give it to you later. For sure. Yeah, but.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, this is David Gold.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Y'all like eggnog? That's not eggnog.

[Tom Segura]

I love it. I just can't get enough of it.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Now look at the steak. I ate all the medium rare parts off of them. And we're down to the rare parts. Okay.

[Tom Segura]

She likes these videos.

[Christina P.]

Yes, but that's good because that's a good sized piece of steak.

[Tom Segura]

It is.

[Christina P.]

Go back in the frying pan and cook it to medium rare. It'll be nice and warm. Just go somewhere when I get hungry again.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, that's why it's golden.

[Christina P.]

He's just showing you his lunch.

[Bert Kreischer]

Right. And that he likes eggnog.

[Christina P.]

Any eggnog?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, but you didn't know that before we watched this.

[Christina P.]

That's true. That's true. That's true.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's eggnog.

[Christina P.]

Well, that's. That's true. You get to see some real authentic stuff now online that we didn't get in television where they had sort of professional writers and producers putting together things that are interesting to watch.

[Tom Segura]

Wait, try to tell me. Okay.

[Christina P.]

No, but then you get so used to that over a whole lifetime, growing up watching all this really interesting stuff that it becomes uninteresting.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And now to see something that is just sort of. Sort of mundane is also kind of exciting.

[Bert Kreischer]

I think that's kind of what I'm.

[Christina P.]

Saying about moving to the farm and just doing something normal. It seems kind of like a little bit new.

[Bert Kreischer]

Well, this feels subversive.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Like, I'm just watching this guy David, and who knows where he lives. He's making a steak.

[Christina P.]

I was expecting it to be. That's not eggnog. I was expecting something like that, but no, it's just eggnog and a steak.

[Tom Segura]

The steak. I can reheat it later.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. And it's nice. We get to see into people's places and see how people live. And he looks like he's doing good, so he's got a nice place there and makes me feel okay about, you know, the way my kitchen normally looks. Although I. I'm engaged now. I have a fiance now, so my house is like, a lot. She's very. She helps me organize my life. Amanda does. So wonderful. My kitchen used to look like that, but not anymore.

[Bert Kreischer]

Will you get married on the farm?

[Christina P.]

It's very possible. Very possible. Yeah. We haven't decided exactly what we're doing yet, but, yeah, we just got engaged right before Christmas. It's very exc. Exciting. And we're traveling around in. In my camper van. So she's. I'm sure she's really excited about that. We're living in a van right now.

[Tom Segura]

Women love vans.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And they love sleeping in them.

[Christina P.]

Absolutely. Absolutely. That's how. That's how we met. I pulled up in the van, I said, get in, and. No, no, actually, we met on the. On. On Instagram. I was. So I moved back to the farm, and there's a pond on the farm that, of course, being Canadian, I thought, well, I gotta play hockey on the pond in the winter. So we had the pond, made a little video of me playing hockey on the pond, and she saw that she lives in the area. She sent me a video of a Do it yourself Zamboni, which is what you used to clean the ice. You know this. You're Canadian and that's how we met. Most Canadian. Way to meet everyone.

[Tom Segura]

So Canadian.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And so now we're. I'm doing a stand up tour right now. So I was just at the Mothership last night all weekend and then before that we were in Dallas and Chattanooga and Oklahoma City and just traveling.

[Tom Segura]

That's awesome.

[Christina P.]

Doing doing spots and now we're gonna take off and do some, some camping and then drive back up to Canada. So let. I. I have not been enjoying getting on planes as much this last few years. So I've started driving more to the gigs. It's. It's kind of.

[Tom Segura]

You enjoy it?

[Christina P.]

I enjoy it. I enjoy not going to the airport. And I've been sort of routing the show so I can just kind of go one to the other.

[Tom Segura]

Flying.

[Bert Kreischer]

It ruins everything.

[Tom Segura]

I want to fly to lunch. Like I wish I could fly everywhere.

[Christina P.]

You probably can fly to lunch, right? You have. Probably have a jet parked out back or something at this point. Probably.

[Tom Segura]

Come on, man. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

This is so incredible though. I mean it's just so, so amazing to see what you guys have done here. I mean it's. I don't even really understand how, how it all works. I mean you must be producing a lot of shows here and.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, there's a few things.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, yeah, it's. And, and because I was at the studio where I was at the studio and was at your house too though, right. I did I do the show. Your house?

[Tom Segura]

Did you do it in the house one. We did do it at the house.

[Christina P.]

I did at your house. And then I also did it at.

[Bert Kreischer]

Studio did in Woodland Hills where we had our little baby.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, it was right, right, right before you.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, that was fun.

[Tom Segura]

Oh yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh yeah. That was a studio. It was soundproofed. It was.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Out of our home.

[Christina P.]

So I, I, yeah, I was stressful years now. Was that, was that in the first time you set up your studio and at home? Obviously. No. Did you imagine this? Did you visualize and, and that was like sort of manifest this entire empire.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know how this. It all, you know, came like slowly together, but each move was always like kind of like an upgrade in, in, in how you do the show?

[Christina P.]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean it's just, it's. It's amazing. Like I, because I. There's a clip that's been kind of circulating of, you know, from my Webo Vision Show. I called it Webo Vision. It was before podcasting was called podcasting.

[Bert Kreischer]

We were the father of this stuff. Tom. If there was no Tom Green, there'd be no your mom's house.

[Christina P.]

It was. Well, technology was all changing, and I thought, you know, because I'd always made my own show, like in. On public access. It was me making the show, and then, you know, the Internet was happening. We always used to upload audio clips onto my website and things like that back in the 90s, you know, and my friends, Glenn Humplick, who was on my. On my show, the co host of my show, and Phil Giroux, they're computer guys. So going back to early days, growing up doing the show, back in the 90s, they were tech entrepreneurs, and my dad was a computer guy, too. So they were kind of always looking at, you know, video, how fast it's. How. How fast the Internet has to be until we can actually stream video on the Internet. So we're just kind of waiting for it to happen, you know, waiting for. Just to be able to send video on the Internet. And then all of a sudden, it was possible. And so I just made Freddy Got Fingered, right? And. And then after you make a movie like that, if you want to do a TV show, you have to build a studio in your living room. That's the. That's the only way to make a TV show after you make a movie like that. So necessity kind of was the. The reason for it. But. But then. So we. We did it. And. But then Joe comes on the show and. And I remember he's looking around. There's this really cool clip of.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Of him, and he says, oh, man, this is great. You know, you don't need network executive. Someone's just got to figure out how to make money doing this. Right? And then, of course, Joe figured that out.

[Tom Segura]

Right?

[Christina P.]

And I'm playing at a Chattanooga, so.

[Bert Kreischer]

But isn't that wild that you were really an innovator? You were like the first generation of diy? It's television.

[Christina P.]

It's. It's interesting because I was being in LA doing it, and I started inviting just everybody up, you know, all the comics and stuff, and. And it was really kind of fun, but, you know, there was no revenue stream at the time. I mean, I was. I had a couple little deals here and there, but, like, they were. They were barely covering the cost of just like my one employee. And. And the, the cameras and the. The. The Internet was expensive. You know, the high school had to be back Then, yeah, we had to get like, sort of super bonded T1 lines brought up into the Hollywood Hills and all this stuff. But. But it was kind of. Yeah, it was. It was pretty. Pretty exciting, though. We had a lot of weird shit happen back then because, you know, it was live and it was. You got to kind of imagine going live with Joe Rogan or, you know, whoever we had on that week. And you're the only live show on the Internet. Like, there was no live. Instagram didn't exist yet. There was no live streaming on YouTube or anything. So you. We were literally the only live show on the Internet. And. And there was a lot of people watching. You know, we get a lot of people. The stream would crash. At first we had to. We had to figure out how to make the.

[Tom Segura]

Did you have an idea of how people were watching? Like, did you have.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, there were. There were like millions of people watching on various, you know, platforms because we would play. It would then be posted on my website. And it was. Yeah, you gotta remember, like, it was not even. There was no YouTube. So there was a company in San Francisco called BitGravity.com and they were basically a CDN content distribution network, and they were basically making servers that you can upload video to and then embed it on your website. Right. And they weren't even really making it for broadcast. They were making it for, you know, just various uses. Right. And so now we had a.

[Tom Segura]

Probably like training videos and information.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. And just, you know. Yeah, just websites and things like that. And so we were sort of doing this sort of entertainment type show. But I remember. So I had to pay per click. Right. And it was, you know, initially, we weren't getting very many people watching. And then this was in the MySpace era. So we then started embedding. This was right when they came up with the idea. You could get an embed code. Embed the. This is probably really inside baseball here. But you could embed it on the. My MySpace page. And so we started doing that, and at the end of the month, I got a bill for $75,000. Right. And I called them up and I believe I actually was crying actually when I called them. I can't. And then they actually let me off. They. Then we did. They did a sponsorship deal with me and they did. Yeah, they didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't make me pay for it. Really cool. And this great guy, Barrett Lyon, who was really innovative technology guy there, kind of came in and they support. Yeah, because it was just like, you know, it was a. Millions and millions and millions of downloads. And the, you know, the, the price structure was set for, like, you know, if you have 10,000 downloads. So. So. But that was, that was. And I remember. I remember one day, I replay this in my head quite often, actually. We were sitting there in the. In my bedroom, you know, at a bedroom that was sort of the studio where we had all the, you know, computers and everything. And I'm on my computer and I get an email on the website. It's somebody, hey, we're up in San Francisco. We really love what you're doing, man. It's like, really cool, you know, you should come check out what we're doing up here and maybe do something with us. And I'm like, oh, that's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're just doing our own thing here. Yeah, thanks. Nice meeting you. And then it was a YouTube. These guys from YouTube in their apartment. In their apartment up there in YouTube. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's cool. You keep doing it. Yeah. In my mind I was thinking, yeah, I'm doing something, you know, oh, you do your thing. We'll do our thing over here. You know, that happened a few times over the years where I go, oh, maybe I should. Probably should have gone up and met those guys, you know, but anyways. But no, it was, it was, it was. It was fun. And then, you know, and then all of a sudden, you know, all of a sudden the technology started to catch up and people were streaming and everywhere. But we had some pretty fun early days. We had. We built a. A switch. I had some guys working with me who were like, you know, kids out of film school who are, like, really smart, and they would, like, figure out how to, like, build weird. Weird that we'd come up with. Like, we had a switch under the desk that we sort of soldered. Like, there was a soldering gun involved. And it. It hooked up to the whole studio and you would flip the switch and all the cameras would come on, the lights would come on, computer would start recording. Another computer would, you know, tell the, you know, at the. When you turned it off, it would then record it and then post it. It was doing all this sort of Linux sort of computer code, talking to each other. But it was really basically set up so I could get up in the middle of the night and walk out into the living room and flip the switch and the whole studio would come on. I'd be by myself. And then there was a switcher on the table and the phone would start ringing and I just do these no things. And so I would get up. This is probably why it didn't take off, I think, because I would get up and I would put clown makeup on. Usually at around one in the morning, just sort of whenever I felt like it, which was usually at once a week, I would sort of get the urge to get up, I put my clown makeup on and then I would go out and it was the French clown of midnight. I would speak francais, pasque je paul Francais pasque je sui can. And I'd go out and I just. Every once in a while you'd tune on and at midnight there'd be a two hour clown speaking French to people calling just French. Just French. Yeah. And yeah, so it might have been just a little too obtuse, I think for people.

[Tom Segura]

But that's so amazing, dude.

[Christina P.]

But, but no, it was, it was fun for sure. But there was something fun about it being kind of, you know, just sort of just doing it. And we had a lot of, A lot of, uh, pretty, uh. Like one of the things was we had a, A, A group of people who were. Essentially their life became about pranking the show. Right. And so there's a phone on the desk and they would call and they would say, do a barrel roll. Which is what this thing was. It was from 4chan. It was this online.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

You know, sort of they're, you know, a big chat room basically. Right. So they would call up and, and say, do a barrel roll. Which was. Or Rick rolling. They would Rick roll us.

[Bert Kreischer]

Right.

[Christina P.]

And so this was, this was sort of the beginning of the end of the taking phone calls thing. But it was, it became kind of like a thing where it was. I wasn't really sure if I was creating this.

[Tom Segura]

What would you do when, when they.

[Christina P.]

Well, I would, I would feign anger.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

To the point like I was angry, but then I would, I would make it way worse.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And so we sort of had this ongoing kind of, you know, war basically going on, which was, which was fun. But you know, I think, I think now, now that there's so many places for people to prank. It wasn't. It's not as. It sort of. It was. It sort of became a. Yeah. I mean if you, if you. I get, I get people going on my social media now every day saying, do a barrel roll. Like they're still, still doing it. They're still mad about it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

No, yeah. Here we go. Here's probably. Yeah. I'm not sure what Be careful what happens here. Sometimes they said some things that you probably might want to beep out to. Hi, I'm Xenon, and I come dream. Can you do a barrel roll for me? There we go. Do a barrel roll. Yeah, and a barrel roll.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, a barrel roll on air.

[Christina P.]

A barrel roll.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, a barrel roll.

[Christina P.]

A barrel roll. A barrel roll. I have a feeling this probably doesn't go anywhere, by the way, but.

[Tom Segura]

A barrel roll likely.

[Christina P.]

Likely goes on for about half an hour, but.

[Tom Segura]

But that's. You also dealing with it in the moment.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Repeating it.

[Christina P.]

Oh, yeah. And, you know, it was. There was this feeling of. Even though we would have a lot of people watching, ultimately, when you were live, it wasn't necessarily. I know there was this sort of anonymity to it, even though there was ultimately a lot of people would watch the videos when we post them, but there was this sort of feeling that you could sort of say anything on the Internet back then, and it wasn't really being, you know, watched by the. You couldn't get canceled for saying something wrong or something. Not that we made a habit of going out and saying things you're not supposed to say, but there was this sort of feeling of like, nobody's watching this.

[Tom Segura]

Right.

[Christina P.]

Which was kind of. Of nice, actually. You know, it was kind of, you know, it's. You know, you could experiment and not worry about, you know, you know, screwing up.

[Tom Segura]

Sure.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Charlie, look at this. Look at this girl here. Come here. Come here, Charlie. It's my dog, Charlie.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, did Charlie fart earlier?

[Christina P.]

That was me, actually.

[Tom Segura]

That was you?

[Christina P.]

It was probably Charlie.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, Henry.

[Tom Segura]

It was a good fart.

[Christina P.]

I just thought that was the thing to say.

[Bert Kreischer]

Charlie a boy or. What is.

[Christina P.]

Charlie's a girl? Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Charlie identified.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

As.

[Christina P.]

Identifies as. As a girl. She's a girl, but. But, yeah, she's. She's a rescue. She's named after John Steinbeck's Travels with Charlie because we were.

[Tom Segura]

She's a beautiful dog.

[Christina P.]

Her first year of her life, we spent out in the desert in. In the van. But, uh, yeah, she's, uh.

[Tom Segura]

She's got a sweet face.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yes. Rescues are special, too.

[Christina P.]

She comes on stage with me in all my shows, too.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I think I saw an image, a clip of that.

[Christina P.]

She's gotten to the point now where she just sits there in a little chair and, uh, enjoys the show.

[Tom Segura]

Doesn't get thrown by noise or anything.

[Christina P.]

In the beginning, she did, you know, in the beginning she did, but. But she's pretty cool with it. Now, in fact, I'd say that she actually looks forward to the show. I can tell. I can tell. At Showtime, you know, when we're doing shows every night, she's sort of before the show she started, then she hears the crowd. I see her hear the crowd. Then she walks towards the stage and it's a nice thing.

[Tom Segura]

That's very cool. Here's something nice to kind of take us out on.

[Christina P.]

Oh. Oh, gee, that's a good one. Okay.

[Tom Segura]

He's okay.

[Christina P.]

Oh, oh. Oh, yeah, that's. That's not good.

[Tom Segura]

Nice golf cart. Jumps are fun, though.

[Christina P.]

Holy boys.

[Bert Kreischer]

Is that a Rascal or a golf cart? I think that's a Rascal.

[Tom Segura]

That could have been. That could have been. That's a motorcycle.

[Christina P.]

Oh. Oh, man.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, it fell on him. That's the worst.

[Tom Segura]

That's really what. The damage is done.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Oh, boy. Oh, that's. Oh. Oh, That's a broken neck right there. Come on, man. How many people. Must be.

[Bert Kreischer]

What are they feeding that lawn?

[Christina P.]

Have they statistically done any sort of studies on how many people have been, you know, permanently sort of altered, Paralyzed by. By, you know, because of the front falls, because of social media, because of this desire, because of these phone. And, you know, of course, the. This sort of trend, I guess, of.

[Bert Kreischer]

Because of us, you mean?

[Christina P.]

Yeah, because of you guys.

[Bert Kreischer]

This is good, all of us being jerks creating this stuff.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Celebrating it.

[Christina P.]

Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, because people. Oh.

[Tom Segura]

Pay attention to the wind. Oh, wow.

[Christina P.]

You know what? It was all worth it. He made it onto. Onto your mom's house. Yeah, yeah, it's fine. Oh, man.

[Bert Kreischer]

The face plant is. Yeah, that's always hard to watch.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

Is he okay?

[Christina P.]

I don't think so. I don't think so.

[Bert Kreischer]

Scrany.

[Christina P.]

Is there any blood coming out of his mouth?

[Bert Kreischer]

Scrany.

[Christina P.]

Scrany.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, boy.

[Christina P.]

Oh. Oh, my gosh. So what did. Do. Do you know what happened to him, or is this just your. He is.

[Tom Segura]

I think he's okay.

[Christina P.]

Oh, boy. Poor guy.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, he's watching.

[Christina P.]

Okay, good. Okay, good.

[Bert Kreischer]

He's got a back.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, here's the list.

[Christina P.]

He'll make that jump the next time he tries.

[Tom Segura]

This is the injury report. Ready? Eight broken ribs, pelvis broken in two spots fractured C4, C5, and C7 neck, double brain bleed, 23 broken bones in right shoulder. Medically induced coma for three days. He's been recovering for three years now, and he's back to doing wheelies and basic stunts.

[Christina P.]

So good. Well, that's good. Just living. Don't Want to give up on those dreams of making that.

[Tom Segura]

Making that jump crane act?

[Christina P.]

Yeah, that's. I always had sort of a. Like, I skate. I was a skateboarder. I loved skateboarding, and I always, you know, did jumps and stuff, but I always sort of had something in my mind that said, okay, that's the limit.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's the line, you know?

[Christina P.]

You know, so.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, hey, Tom. Did you get your period?

[Tom Segura]

Did I get my period?

[Bert Kreischer]

I got mine right before we started.

[Tom Segura]

I haven't.

[Bert Kreischer]

At the break.

[Tom Segura]

I'm right on the. I'm about to. I can tell They're.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's like, I got to track mine. Hold on. I got to put it in my app, so I get my days.

[Tom Segura]

A lot of times our periods sync up, so.

[Christina P.]

Oh, yeah. Nice.

[Bert Kreischer]

It is kind of cool.

[Christina P.]

So how's Garth Brooks doing? Has he gotten. Has he gotten a hold of you or has. Does there been some sort of. Any sort of resolution to that in this?

[Tom Segura]

No.

[Bert Kreischer]

Huh.

[Tom Segura]

You know what's interesting is that we heard through personal contacts that he was very unamused by this.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And then shortly thereafter, he's been. There's alleged accusations by his former makeup artist that he allegedly did things to her that are very, very.

[Christina P.]

But you were sort of suggesting he was a serial killer, I think is what it was.

[Tom Segura]

What I. All. I.

[Christina P.]

Was that the suggestion or. I don't know. I don't want to. Yeah, allegedly, you suggested.

[Tom Segura]

What I allegedly said was that allegedly that people had gone missing.

[Christina P.]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

That kind of lined up perfectly with certain tour dates.

[Christina P.]

It's just a fun sort of observation. Right. Wasn't meant to be taken seriously, I don't think.

[Tom Segura]

I also noted that he had some very notably awkward. Just personality traits.

[Christina P.]

Okay.

[Bert Kreischer]

Have you seen his Facebook posts and his social media posts? They're very unnatural.

[Christina P.]

Okay.

[Bert Kreischer]

You know what it is? It's like the Uncanny Valley. Do you know what that is? Like when someone's robotic, where they appear to be human.

[Christina P.]

Okay.

[Bert Kreischer]

But something's just slightly off.

[Christina P.]

Like, Chris Gaines was an interesting choice as well. But, I mean, you said it. But a great country artist and incredible legend of our time. Right.

[Bert Kreischer]

But the Dark side of the Force.

[Christina P.]

Because I just put out a country album. That's why I brought it up. So.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

So I was tying it into myself in addition to.

[Tom Segura]

In addition to.

[Christina P.]

Go check it out. It's called Home to the country, and you can hear it. And. And it's available everywhere right now that you get country music and you get.

[Tom Segura]

This is the Tom Green documentary, which he directed the Tom Green country series and the Stand up special, I Got a Mule.

[Christina P.]

Yep.

[Tom Segura]

And an album.

[Christina P.]

And an album. Yeah. And the, and the album is the soundtrack to the show, and we record it. There's this incredible legendary band from Canada called the Tragically Hip, who.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yes, I know.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So.

[Christina P.]

Absolutely. So we recorded it all in their studio, and the music sounds great. So go check out Home to the Country.

[Tom Segura]

Do you ever do this thing? Like, when. Introduce yourself to people? Do you go, you know, I'm a director, producer. You know what I'm saying? I'm a choreographer. I do. I, I got music. I make music.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. With that, with that accent.

[Tom Segura]

I don't. I was just making up.

[Christina P.]

That's good. Yeah, absolutely. I don't, I don't know if I do introduce myself like that, but I, I, I, I. At one point, I think I had that on my Twitter because I saw that's what you're supposed to do. I put director. Now it just says goofball on there.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, Goofball's my favorite.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You know, Hitler was a goofball. A lot of people don't know.

[Christina P.]

Well, maybe I'll have to change it back to what it was before. I guess.

[Tom Segura]

If you. Have you ever seen. Before we press play on this. Have you ever seen this? This is Garth's introduction.

[Christina P.]

I think I may have seen it on your show, maybe on ours, but it's been a long time since I've seen it.

[Tom Segura]

This is when. This is when we first learned kind of how.

[Christina P.]

Because I followed this sort of what's been going on, because I watched the.

[Tom Segura]

Show when he joined.

[Christina P.]

I guess it's official.

[Tom Segura]

We're now on Facebook. I really wasn't sure about. About this at the start, but then a friend of mine said something that just made all kinds of sense. She said, think of it more as a conversation. I like that.

[Christina P.]

I see. Okay, maybe I haven't seen that, but, yeah, that's one.

[Tom Segura]

It goes on. It's. It's much longer, but, you know, how.

[Bert Kreischer]

Do you feel watching it? What do you feel?

[Christina P.]

It feels like it's the beginning of sort of mainstream media colliding with independent media. And there's sort of a way that things were always written and done before, and it doesn't really translate to.

[Tom Segura]

You also feel the discomfort inside of you.

[Christina P.]

I don't think that that guy is like a serial killer or anything like that.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, you have to watch. You need to watch more. Look at his eyes.

[Tom Segura]

Guess in my case, hotel room.

[Christina P.]

I really. Because it's just such an absurd thing to suggest, though, which is what's hilarious about it. But I would think that maybe he. He would have to come on. Maybe. Maybe he could get Chris Gaines to come on the show.

[Tom Segura]

You know, we've. We've reached out multiple times.

[Christina P.]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

And the feedback we got was no.

[Christina P.]

Oh, well, I think. I think it would probably be serve at least Chris Gaineswell to come on the show and. And bygones be bygones, you know, I pray. I'd like to see that. I believe that will happen.

[Tom Segura]

I hope it happens. Tom Green, we have to. I have to go to the flyport, so I have to run. It's always great to see you, man. Thank you for coming in.

[Christina P.]

Appreciate you having me.

[Tom Segura]

Make sure you check out the. The documentary, the series, the special, and the album.

[Bert Kreischer]

Dang.

[Tom Segura]

You know what I'm saying? I make music and. And maybe stop by the farm. I want to come see the mule.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Tom Segura]

Thank you for coming.

[Christina P.]

Thanks, Tom. We'll see you guys next week.

[Tom Green]

Than it omg. Calm down later for bl you guys.

[Tom Segura]

You guys.

[Tom Green]

You're doing good. Dirty. Calm down later, Purple. Calm down later. Get your passenger tower. Come down later for Bruce 2.

[Tom Segura]

Passenger.

[Tom Green]

Come down. Come down. Bruce 2. Get your passenger. Hurry up. Come down later for Bruce 2 team passenger. Calm down. Calm down. Bruce. Hey, I got you on video. Omg. Calm down. Waiting for bus soup. You guys are doing good F. Calm down for bus soup after. You guys are doing good F. Get your passenger. Come down later for brave after.