Where My Toms At? w/ Duncan Trussell | Your Mom's House Ep. 822

Summary

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura Episode: "Where My Toms At? w/ Duncan Trussell" | Episode 822 Release Date: August 6, 2025

In this episode of "Your Mom's House," Christina Pazsitzky steps in to host temporarily while Tom Segura is away filming a movie in New Mexico. Joining her is comedian and frequent collaborator Duncan Trussell, leading to a lively and humorous discussion covering a range of topics from empowering women to quirky corporate changes.

---

1. Christina Takes the Helm

At the beginning of the episode, Christina announces that she will be taking over the podcast for the next few episodes in Tom's absence.

• Christina P. ([01:01]): "My husband is filming a movie in New Mexico and I have taken over YMH for the next few episodes."

2. Celebrating Women

Christina emphasizes a shift in focus towards celebrating women, aiming to highlight and empower female voices within the podcast's content.

• Christina P. ([02:28]): "This episode and the next few that I will be hosting, I have decided to celebrate women and showcase all the women, the cool women out there. Because usually it's just cool guys."

3. Guest Interaction with Duncan Trussell

Duncan Trussell joins the conversation, bringing his unique comedic style to the discussion. The dialogue touches on topics like "energy sex" and dives into humorous takes on modern wellness trends.

• Duncan Trussell ([07:17]): "Energy sex. What's that? I have been blessed with an extra sense my whole life experiencing things way outside of the crayon box."

The conversation humorously explores unconventional ideas, blending absurdity with social commentary.

4. Discussions on Cults and Scientology

The dialogue shifts towards a satirical examination of cults and Scientology, with Duncan sharing exaggerated and fictional accounts that parody real-world organizations.

• Duncan Trussell ([16:48]): "Like Ram Dass said, what you're looking for is a self-destructing trap."

Christina and Duncan playfully critique the structure and influence of such groups, highlighting the fine line between community and manipulation.

5. Introduction of New CEO, Avery Blackwell

A significant and comedic segment involves the introduction of Avery Blackwell as the new CEO of YMH Studios. The trio mock the traditional corporate introductions with exaggerated policies aimed exclusively at male employees.

• Christina P. ([31:53]): "I would like to introduce him right now. All right, his name is Avery Blackwell, everybody."

• Tom Segura ([35:18]): "I'm so excited to be here. I think that I'm gonna knock it out of the park. If a slut can do it, a gay can do it."

The segment parodies corporate culture and inclusivity initiatives, using humor to address workplace dynamics.

6. American Eagle Ad Featuring Sydney Sweeney

Christina and Duncan discuss the release of an American Eagle advertisement featuring actress Sydney Sweeney. They touch upon the community's reactions, blending genuine admiration with tongue-in-cheek humor.

• Christina P. ([55:19]): "She's a huge fan of YMH, clearly. And she agreed to do this American Eagle ad wearing the jeans."

• Duncan Trussell ([56:27]): "She was chosen for this ad. She's so stunning. I love her. Her boobs are outstanding."

The conversation highlights the intersection of celebrity endorsements and audience perceptions, all through a comedic lens.

7. Offbeat Humor and Conspiracies

Later in the episode, Christina and Duncan delve into a series of outrageous and fictional conspiracies, blending historical inaccuracies with absurd humor.

• Duncan Trussell ([57:00]): "Frank Herbert, the author of Dune, was inspired by Ronald Reagan giving him a glass of George Washington's... cum... which inspired the entire Dune series."

• Christina P. ([62:32]): "She's so, she's so... incredible. But I think the reason Candace is so into this, it's not that because she's a woman pretending to be a man or a man pretending to be a woman."

These segments serve as a parody of conspiracy theories, utilizing hyperbole and absurdity to entertain the audience while subtly critiquing real-world misinformation.

8. Closing Remarks and Future Episodes

As the episode wraps up, Christina and Duncan reflect humorously on the discussions and tease future content. They reaffirm the podcast's commitment to exploring unconventional topics with their signature comedic style.

• Christina P. ([71:33]): "That is a wrap. But this is a libel thing, so... I think, yeah. Oh, yeah."

• Duncan Trussell ([75:07]): "Struggling after that one. It's gonna take me a second. I didn't make it up. That's what he's saying."

The episode concludes with playful banter, leaving listeners anticipating more unique and comedic explorations in upcoming shows.

---

Notable Quotes

• Christina P. ([02:28]): "Celebrating women. I guess we are in today's episode."

• Duncan Trussell ([07:20]): "I'm not ashamed of it either."

• Christina P. ([41:35]): "We're no longer using thumbs up, but the buns up emoji."

• Duncan Trussell ([58:43]): "I just wanna be like the mask. Mask on. Mask off."

---

Conclusion

This episode of "Your Mom's House" masterfully blends humor with social commentary, featuring Christina's temporary hosting and Duncan Trussell's comedic insights. From satirical takes on corporate culture and cults to absurd conspiracy theories and celebrity endorsements, the conversation remains engaging and entertaining. The introduction of new fictional policies and exaggerated scenarios underscores the podcast's knack for blending reality with comedy, ensuring listeners are both amused and intrigued.

For those unfamiliar with the episode, this summary captures the essence of the lively and unconventional discussions that "Your Mom's House" is known for, highlighting the dynamic interaction between Christina, Duncan, and the quirky elements introduced by the guest.

Transcript

[Christina P.]

What's everybody. Just kidding. That's so dumb. That's what my stupid husband would say. But guess what? He's not here. I am. And you know what I'm going to do? He doesn't even realize we are having a huge YMH merch store sale. Okay, we're coming out of the closet. Pull your jeans up as high and tight as they can possibly be. This will be your last chance ever to get the designs. Like the cool mom hats. Hello. That's my favorite park closer, which was such a good time on ymh. Fed smoker hate from YMH shirt and all the other designs. Guys, they're not coming back. This is a last call, so go to store.ymhstudios.com right now. Right now, Right now.

[Tom Segura]

Well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.

[Christina P.]

What is happening? I'll tell you what the is happening. My husband is filming a movie in New Mexico and I have taken over YMH for the next few episodes.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, I'm not.

[Christina P.]

Maybe I am. We'll see if I can work the soundboard. And with me, my co host, my favorite, my love, my heart, Duncan Trussell.

[Duncan Trussell]

What's up? Thank you for having me. I love being here. I'm so happy you're running the show now. Congratulations.

[Christina P.]

Thank you. I've never done this before. I'm really nervous. Tom usually runs all the soundboard. Do you want to hear some stuff that we'd love to. What's your jam? I got. What do you mean? Okay, we have farts.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, yeah. I love those.

[Christina P.]

Oh, so do I.

[Duncan Trussell]

Let's do a fart.

[Christina P.]

Okay. Here we go. F, A R, T. That's pretty good. I like that.

[Duncan Trussell]

Love it.

[Christina P.]

What about. I like. I like black people when they talk.

[Duncan Trussell]

Let's hear it.

[Christina P.]

Well, there you are. I thought.

[Duncan Trussell]

Was that a soundtrack? You know what I'm saying?

[Christina P.]

That's my favorite.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, that's cool.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Check it out. You know what I'm saying? That's great.

[Christina P.]

This one's. This one's my favorite. Ready?

[Duncan Trussell]

That's cool. Inclusivity.

[Christina P.]

So much inclusivity.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's really cool. You guys do that.

[Christina P.]

You know what? That is so funny you said that, Duncan. Because this episode and the next few that I will be hosting, I have decided to celebrate women and showcase all the women, the cool women out there. Because usually it's just cool guys.

[Duncan Trussell]

Can I. This is whenever anybody says celebrate something.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Do you feel like if you have to say it's time to celebrate Something. It might not be worth celebrating.

[Christina P.]

A thousand percent. Which is why I also feel a tinge of rage every time they're like, it's national pet your dog Day. I'm like, no, it's not.

[Duncan Trussell]

I'll decide if it's Pet my fucking dog day.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't need you to tell me when it's Pet my Dog day or Donut day.

[Christina P.]

Oh, fuck right off.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. These are control freaks.

[Christina P.]

Control freaks. They're controlling your mind. Yeah, I agree. It's manufactured fun.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's not even fun. It's just some asshole you got control of. Some like, I guess, accepted calendar.

[Christina P.]

Well, who's deciding these days?

[Duncan Trussell]

Some asshole. Guaranteed. Like, you don't get to say what a fucking holiday is. Like the fact that we feel as humans.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

That we can just decide universally today is fill in the blank. Whatever it is. Hey, man, I'm not gonna fall prey to the mind control system. And that's what they do. They control time. They control music. They change the entire scale of music. They don't want us to hear the pure sound, how music was originally intended. They control the calendar. They tell us what day it is. This is not Monday.

[Christina P.]

No, it's not. And it's not even 2025, because in Afghanistan right now it's 1540, whatever year it is.

[Duncan Trussell]

I know.

[Christina P.]

In their Stone age calendar. So it's all relative.

[Duncan Trussell]

I know. And we say that in so like Stone Age, they managed to keep a calendar that long, we couldn't do it.

[Christina P.]

I've been to Afghanistan of you very similar to Albuquerque, New Mexico, if you're wondering.

[Duncan Trussell]

Are you kidding me?

[Christina P.]

No. Have you been to Albuquerque?

[Duncan Trussell]

That's why I'm like, Jesus Christ, dude. I guess like I have to throw out all the wonderful things I thought about Afghanistan.

[Christina P.]

Okay, on that note, why don't we start the show now? I've never done this before. Duncan. Wish me luck. Okay, here we go. Oh, I already up here it is.

[Duncan Trussell]

So how bad did it hurt? And how many bones did you put break when you fell from heaven? Cuz you are as cute as an angel. I love it.

[Tom Segura]

Welcome, welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura and Christina P.

[Christina P.]

And Duncan Trussle. Trust. Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, down. It's the longest intro.

[Duncan Trussell]

You deserve it. You guys have earned a long intro. Welcome to. Oh my God. That's amazing.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wow. AI is incredible these days.

[Christina P.]

No, that is Kimmy Cola. She is the Guinness Book world record champion for the loudest burps and in fact, we were at my kids school and she was in the Guinness Book the literal in the library. And I was like, I know that girl. So thank you, Kami Cole, for my beautiful introduction. Incredible. And as I said earlier, Duncan, we are empowering women.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes.

[Christina P.]

Celebrating women. I guess we are in today's episode.

[Duncan Trussell]

All right, let's celebrate.

[Christina P.]

I've got some other fun stuff for you. This is what I thought you would really be into. Here, check this out. Tell me if this is something if that you and your lady want to get into or maybe.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay.

[Unknown]

Energy sex.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, yeah?

[Unknown]

What's that? I have been blessed with an extra sense my whole life experiencing things way outside of the crayon box. Most people were covering with. From deep intuition to death, heavens to see, seeing fairies and auras having orgasms from the touch of a summer breeze.

[Christina P.]

Or threesomes with the sun.

[Unknown]

The only problem was it terrified my family and community. I was shamed and made to feel like there was something wrong with me. When I met Reed, Mahalko and other dear friends, energy sex was just part of their nature. And I was thrilled and excited to really.

[Christina P.]

Oh boy, it's a threesome.

[Unknown]

That energy sex was a different Being able to play with energy and helping others have access to it was one of the greatest things I could ever offer this planet.

[Duncan Trussell]

God damn, that's hot.

[Christina P.]

Really?

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, yeah.

[Christina P.]

I knew you would like this. I knew it. Have you done this yet? I feel like you may have.

[Duncan Trussell]

I have not. There's many a day where I've wanted to fuck the sun. And I don't know how, but I would love to understand how to have a threesome with the son who was the third. She didn't mention that mysterious.

[Christina P.]

Oh, right.

[Duncan Trussell]

Threesome with the son, the wind. The third. Or did she mean her son?

[Christina P.]

Her.

[Duncan Trussell]

I had a threesome with my son.

[Christina P.]

That's a whole different type of energy sex.

[Duncan Trussell]

I come when I wash my hands.

[Christina P.]

You know what's interesting is that it's usually dudes who come up with things like energy sex to have actual sex with women.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yep.

[Christina P.]

Very rare that a woman constructs this horseshit to get laid.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, usually that's the domain of the fuck healer. You know, the fuck healer is like, it's the dudes who are like actively, compassionately trying to help people wake up to their true identity. But it seems like the only people they work with are like, hot girls. Like, they don't have guys. There are guys that they're trying to like, also heal.

[Christina P.]

That's so true. Like, will Our beloved Will Blunderfeld only which you got to take his seminar.

[Duncan Trussell]

I would love to have to take his seminar.

[Christina P.]

Well, how was that?

[Duncan Trussell]

Changed my life.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Changed my life.

[Christina P.]

What are you now?

[Duncan Trussell]

Eating my cum. Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Is that.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Wow.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, I'm not ashamed of it either.

[Christina P.]

Why would you be?

[Duncan Trussell]

And I don't wear clothes in the house.

[Christina P.]

Why would you?

[Duncan Trussell]

I, I. Well, I have a lie. Can guess why. Because the new world order control system matrix simulation wants to keep your clothes on in the house.

[Christina P.]

That's right.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Christina P.]

Right.

[Duncan Trussell]

Don't. Oh, I guess I have to wear clothes because the housekeeper is here. The, you know, FedEx.

[Christina P.]

FedEx children.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, yeah. Let me put on clothes. Yeah, so that your fossil fuel emitting fucking truck can move faster. No, I'm sorry.

[Christina P.]

Well, unless it's don't wear your clothes day on Instagram when you're sanctioned, you're allowed to have this hedonic fun.

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't need that. I don't need the permission of the tech overlords to get me enclosed.

[Christina P.]

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[Duncan Trussell]

Well, thank you. Well, Blender, it was really so.

[Christina P.]

No, really, though, what was that like? Like how?

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, you know, one thing you got to contend with when you meet somebody who's suggesting you smell your friend's balls is you have to contend with like. Well, the suggestion, like, all right, I don't think I'll ever do that. But then you also have to contend with the energy of the person suggesting you smell your friend's balls. And Will Blunderfield is a. Is like a really sweet dude.

[Christina P.]

No, he's. He's angelic.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes.

[Christina P.]

He's very kind. Yes. Not. Not creepy though, right? Like, did you feel.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, I felt creeped out slapping that old hog all over the place. Yeah, of course. You know, I think we. It was like a. A gumbo of feelings. It's like on. On one hand, it's. It's kind of like. I'm pretty sure that you're like a super horny dude.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

And you figured out a way to get, like, maybe like straight guys teetering.

[Christina P.]

That's what it is.

[Duncan Trussell]

You know what I mean? You found this, like this. This market almost. If you could extend that.

[Christina P.]

But hold on. But see, so this broad. What is this racket? Let me find. Where is this? Mommy itself is. Okay. Yeah, Here. So that's her racket. And then like. Wait, what?

[Duncan Trussell]

This racket?

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Like, what's this? So this is like videos of her doing her. Like it's an energy orgy.

[Duncan Trussell]

Mm. Well, this is just like, look, this is the economy we're in, man. Like, it's a. It's a hard fucking economy. These tariffs are going to hit hard. And you can expect more shit like this because. Yeah, you know, I don't know if you've ever had this happen. Have you ever had someone who you think is your friend invite you to their goddamn seminar? Have you ever had that happen?

[Christina P.]

Yes. I got landmarked. That's what we called it. There was one guy in an office I worked at a million years ago, and he would come up to your cubicle and be like, how you doing, Christina? And you're like, I don't know. I mean, I'm cool. Yeah. Are you happy? And you're like, I think so. You know, I've been doing this seminar called the Landmark for Forum. It's just changed my life. And you're like, what's that? And now, now they're getting you to do there.

[Duncan Trussell]

You go.

[Christina P.]

And they'll hit you up so many times that eventually saying no. It's more exhausting than just saying yes and going right. And I had a co worker who did go. And he was like, so this is this landmark for him. I guess it's like. It's like Scientology adjacent. Have you heard of this?

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, yeah, of course. I lived in la. I got landmarked.

[Christina P.]

You did?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, I got landmarked.

[Christina P.]

Did you go?

[Duncan Trussell]

No, But I remember like at Walking With. I don't even remember who this. You know, in the beginning days of la, you make friends with some fucking shady motherfuckers walking down the sidewalk with some dude and he starts bringing up the landmark for him. And you know, like, both of us know about cults. I know about cults. I know what it sounds like when someone's recruiting you to a cult. And I said to him, sounds like a cult. And he goes, but are cults bad? And that's always what. That's what cult people will. That's the response you give is like, but I mean, yeah, okay, so is that bad?

[Christina P.]

Otherwise they wouldn't call it a cult. They would call it a good time, group fun or something else.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, like.

[Christina P.]

Well, the cult, he's not wrong. Like, like religions can be seen as cults until they keep you hostage and they don't let you go home and stuff. Right.

[Duncan Trussell]

This is. Ram Dass said what you're looking for is a self destructing trap.

[Christina P.]

Like the self destructing trap.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, like. Like it is good to have a community of people. Like if you, you need to be around comics, if you're a comic for sure. If you're interested in some kind of lineage, you need to be around people who are also practicing that lineage, whatever it is, whether it's Buddhism, witchcraft, Christianity. Yeah, but you want the sense that you can leave.

[Christina P.]

That's right.

[Duncan Trussell]

It becomes a cult when you can't get out. Nexium will ruin your life.

[Christina P.]

Oh, yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Or all your friend. Well, we won't be your friend anymore if you do. If you don't follow our way, then. Then it's a cult for sure.

[Christina P.]

Hey, where's that clip that you guys know I want to see right now with him? You know what I'm talking about.

[Duncan Trussell]

I think you need to scroll down in the full.

[Christina P.]

Oh, you're right. You're right. Sorry, guys. Still new at this. Hold on. I'm new at this. This is my husband, Chastity.

[Unknown]

Why don't you show him your tits right now?

[Duncan Trussell]

The fuck was that? Think that's good podcasting.

[Christina P.]

That's what I hear in my head when I can't find the files. Here we go. Here, I wanted to show this. You like that? Do you think your wife hears this?

[Duncan Trussell]

No, definitely not. Having tits.

[Unknown]

You know what you're good at? Having tits.

[Duncan Trussell]

Celebrate women.

[Christina P.]

We're trying to celebrate women. All right, here we go. Here's some. Here's some cool stuff. Speaking of cults, how did I know we'd end up on this topic?

[Duncan Trussell]

I love cults.

[Unknown]

Through my life, I always wanted to be around people and have groups, but for some reason, I wasn't ever able to do that. As a matter of fact, really, until I found Scientology, I can't really say I had any friends. When I got introduced to Scientology, I found the answer to how to be friendly, how to be able to listen to somebody, and how to make somebody feel comfortable around me. That one thing just changed everything in my life. Worst height, Marcy Sanders. And I am a Scientologist.

[Christina P.]

Marcy.

[Duncan Trussell]

Thank you, Marcy.

[Christina P.]

But don't, you know, Marcy, like, you learn how to make friends in kindergarten? Like, you bring a cool toy to the playground, and you're like, you want. You want to play with my toy? Or like, yeah, hey, who wants to smoke pot? You know, easy. Do that. In junior high school, you guys smoke cigarettes?

[Duncan Trussell]

You guys like hand jobs?

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Marcy, come on.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's not that hard.

[Christina P.]

It's not that hard. Mars.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, she didn't know, and now she's, you know, she found her friends, and that's great. I mean, it's great. You know, Scientology is actually. I mean, I know this is where we make fun of stuff, and. But Scientology changed my life.

[Christina P.]

You're kidding. You're a Scientologist. I did not know this.

[Duncan Trussell]

I think it's important to talk before you even get into me being a Scientologist or not being a Scientologist.

[Christina P.]

Okay.

[Duncan Trussell]

Talk about are you happy.

[Christina P.]

Right.

[Duncan Trussell]

It would be fun. Look, it would. The. I think people like us, where we run into problems with, like.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Syncing up with a cult is that it's very hard for us to surrender our rational mind. You know what I mean? We're. I don't think we're subs in that way. You know what I mean? But these people are subs.

[Christina P.]

You're right.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's submissive.

[Christina P.]

You know what? Marcy needs to spank just to be hog tied.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And effed by some dude.

[Duncan Trussell]

I just spank cheaper.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Quicker.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Friends. You'll make friends.

[Christina P.]

You'll make so many friends.

[Duncan Trussell]

So many friends.

[Christina P.]

Bdsm.

[Duncan Trussell]

You have to. Because I'll tell you, they're your friends.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. You don't need to. And also, from what? I don't know. You tell me. Since you've been in the program, what are you. What's your level? Like, Theta oblivion?

[Duncan Trussell]

I'm a CT14.

[Christina P.]

CT12. Oh, 14.

[Duncan Trussell]

They added two levels.

[Christina P.]

You're kidding.

[Duncan Trussell]

They had two because of me and some other. I mean, I don't want to brag, but they had to add a couple extra levels because we got to 12 and they're like, holy shit, we got it. We're gonna move it up to 14.

[Christina P.]

Are you higher than Tom?

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, no, no.

[Christina P.]

Nobody's.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, I would never say that. And no, absolutely not. I would never say that. And I didn't say that. I did not say that.

[Christina P.]

Okay.

[Duncan Trussell]

I. I do. I do not think that I did. Please delete that. I didn't say that. I don't. I'm not sure.

[Christina P.]

We'll take it out.

[Duncan Trussell]

Please, please, please.

[Christina P.]

No, no, no, no.

[Duncan Trussell]

You won't forget?

[Christina P.]

I won't forget.

[Duncan Trussell]

Thank you.

[Christina P.]

Josh, take that out, please. You got it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Thank.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. No. So that. What are we talking about again?

[Duncan Trussell]

Like, energy and Marcy, who's wonderful. See. See you next weekend, Marcy.

[Christina P.]

What about this can Scientology.

[Unknown]

I used to do a lot of.

[Christina P.]

Thinking, you know, like, I'd have a.

[Unknown]

Conversation that didn't go well.

[Christina P.]

And not just like an hour, but, like, sometimes days, you know, I think it through and like, oh, I could.

[Unknown]

Have said this, or I could have.

[Christina P.]

Done that, or, you know, or.

[Unknown]

How'd that go?

[Christina P.]

Just. Just a lot of thinking about without result either. Right. Just like a worry and think. I have never gone back to that, to thinking. That was. That was huge for me. My name is Sia. I Live in Portland, Oregon. Yeah, I'm a scientologist.

[Duncan Trussell]

Celebrating you. That's great.

[Christina P.]

That's great, dude.

[Duncan Trussell]

How wonderful to not think that's the.

[Christina P.]

Only thing I want. Duncan.

[Duncan Trussell]

God, her. What does it sound like in her mind? Is it just like.

[Christina P.]

So awesome? That is the ultimate goal is just.

[Duncan Trussell]

She got. Maybe she got the old ice pick. She could have gotten lobotomized.

[Christina P.]

That'll be awesome.

[Duncan Trussell]

They say. They say it makes you so happy.

[Christina P.]

I. Yeah. I just got on Prozac because I got so sad in New Mexico. You know that they tested nukes there.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh yeah.

[Christina P.]

So I was like, anyway, Prozac, same thing. Just kind of quiets it all down. Feels great.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's great.

[Christina P.]

I don't even want to drink alcohol anymore, which is usually why I drink alcohol.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's so great, man.

[Christina P.]

Tune it out. Tune it all out.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. I mean, you know, some. Some people, you know, they just don't have to be in a never ending cycle of hell. But you know what I mean, it's amazing. We have that fixes that.

[Christina P.]

I know I should have been on drugs longer. Longer or just become a Scientologist. I. I probably cheaper to do get on drugs.

[Duncan Trussell]

You think so Scientology, I think is very expensive.

[Christina P.]

Well, what are they taking of your. Is it like 40 of your income right now?

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, I mean, okay, technically it's 45%. But before Scientology I wasn't making any money at all.

[Christina P.]

Wow.

[Duncan Trussell]

So you know what I mean? It's like 45%. Why?

[Christina P.]

Right.

[Duncan Trussell]

Of nothing. Nothing. They're taking 45%. But without them I would have a hundred percent less.

[Christina P.]

Right. And look at your career. Like no coincidence.

[Duncan Trussell]

Fucking incredible.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, that's why, you know, it's. It's really blowing up. I was. I was just in Oklahoma City and had medium ticket sales.

[Christina P.]

You're kidding.

[Duncan Trussell]

Isn't that great?

[Christina P.]

That's huge for Oklahoma City. Because that's not. That's a. That's a soft market that's unhapped. Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

And people love it when I talk about Scientology instead of doing jokes.

[Christina P.]

Thank you, Duncan. Talk more about Scientology. Well, you know what it is. Generally people like to be told how to live their lives.

[Duncan Trussell]

Absolutely.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Absolutely. One of savior.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Duncan Trussell]

Somebody needs to save my ass. You need someone to save you. You want to be safe.

[Christina P.]

And to give you advice unsolicited is the best kind.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh my God. You just gotta. It's like the idea that that is possible. And who knows? You know, actually Marin has a. I guess I can't say his jokes but it's old, so maybe I can. Are you allowed to do that? Like it's an old, old joke.

[Christina P.]

If it's out there, I think it's out there. Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

I heard this like 15 years ago. But the joke is something like, I'm afraid to read Dianetics because I feel like 20 pages in, I'm going to be like, you know, this kind of makes sense.

[Christina P.]

Well, I don't think that everybody. Look, I am, I am. There was a time in my life if, if you, if they had gotten me at like 26 years old on Hollywood Boulevard before I committed to becoming a broke stand up comedian. When I dropped out of law school, my parents weren't talking to me and I was confused. I hadn't met my husband yet. Like, you know, when you're just there and they get you at the right time, I'd be like, dude, this makes all kinds of sense.

[Duncan Trussell]

I was inches away from becoming a Hare Krishna. Of course you were inches from shaving the head.

[Christina P.]

Are you being that that far?

[Duncan Trussell]

Dead serious. I was hanging out at the temple all the time.

[Christina P.]

Really?

[Duncan Trussell]

And I gotta tell you, what does happen is, and I'm sure it happens with any, like, successful cult, and the Hare Krishnas will say it's the cult of bhakti. They just say that is what it is. And what you experience is incredible and it isn't like, whatever it may be, you could use any kind of like secularist analysis and say, you know, yeah, you're experiencing like mind control, group hypnosis, like whatever you want to call is the most astounding, beautiful, super attractive thing. It's like a little bubble. It's like a hole in the ice. You know, everyone's under the ice in default reality. And cults are like, you can stick your head up into a completely alternate reality and the longer you're there, the more that seems real.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

And like this. When was the last time you watched the Drew Barrymore show?

[Christina P.]

Never in my life.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh my God. It came on in my hotel room.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. And she's lovely though. She's like joy.

[Duncan Trussell]

I have no doubt. She's a lovely person. The show itself, though.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Is it made me think, like, if I am, I. Have I gotten too far out to see? Is this how the Unabomber felt when he watched tv? You. Because it's so.

[Christina P.]

You're like angry.

[Duncan Trussell]

Not angry, just like, like watching aliens. Yeah, like, you know what I mean? Talking about, here's my friend, she's gonna talk about table settings and you put you put the candle at eye level and then it lights your face better. You see?

[Christina P.]

No, no, no. This is how I feel. Two things when I watch morning talk shows or when I listen to this dumb talk. And then I have a huge announcement to make after this.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, my gosh.

[Christina P.]

I work so hard, and I. I appreciate what hard work looks like. I like working hard. And I'm still working hard. Right? The moment that everything sells out, it doesn't mean that we're done. It means we're working on replenishment. And what are the next skus? And what's the next tranche of products?

[Duncan Trussell]

She said tranche.

[Christina P.]

What the fuck is that? Writing the social media captions and making sure that all that goes in line. What's the cadence of it?

[Duncan Trussell]

And what's the photography? I'm a termite. I'm a termite. Listen to me. The sound of a termite.

[Christina P.]

Notes for season two of With Love, Megan.

[Duncan Trussell]

I only think about myself. I can't stop thinking about myself. I'm the only thing that exists in the universe and only me. And me. And me. Every now and then. I know I'm not interesting, but I need jobs. I'm not. I think I'm in hell, I'm pretty sure. Am I the devil? I'm only. The devil is. Gates of hell are locked from the inside and I lock them on my side.

[Christina P.]

But you realize, like, in. In the woman and woman world, this is. There's people that are like, she's the best.

[Duncan Trussell]

Of course.

[Christina P.]

This is awesome.

[Duncan Trussell]

Of course. I mean, this is why when we criticize cults, we must first ask ourselves, what's the fucking differ? What's what? If we're gonna judge weird lifestyles, what's weirder? Doing whatever that long winded insane fucking grocery list of shit she does that no one cares about, or sitting in front of a deity. To Krishna with incense burning.

[Christina P.]

Really, what better horseshit? And by the way, I had never heard the word tranche. A tranche, tranche. What is a fucking tranche? Josh, will you look this up? A tranche.

[Duncan Trussell]

A tranche. I remember when they started using that word. They say tranche of sanctions.

[Christina P.]

Oh, is this right? I thought this was like some white, white lady word. A tranche of flowers or a tranche of.

[Duncan Trussell]

Sounds like a kid's name in the South. Tranche, tranche, tranche. Get over here. Tranche. Get your fingers out of the dog's ass.

[Christina P.]

Tranch for sure. Finger in the cat, it says. Okay? Tranche is a less common spelling of tranche. Both refer to a portion or division of a larger whole. Particularly in finance, it sounds like. Yeah, yeah, I got tranche.

[Duncan Trussell]

I got tranche, man. When you got tranche in Tijuana, dude, it's bad. It's all withered. It's dripping and withered. You got that tranche cock. Yeah. I had a threesome with the sun. Got tranche cocked.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. This is. This is as stupid as. As a sex. Energy sex.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Christina P.]

It was this broad same.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's the same ultimately. Just like, it's nihilism. It's. It's. That is the sound of the void. Like, if you could hear the void, it's just right. Lance. And everything. And everything. Think about myself. I always think about myself.

[Christina P.]

She works so hard.

[Duncan Trussell]

She does. That's good.

[Christina P.]

Listen, speaking of. Of working hard.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes.

[Christina P.]

Duncan, this is very ironic that you're here for this moment because you were here.

[Duncan Trussell]

Hold on.

[Christina P.]

The last time you were in studio with us, my husband appointed our brand new CEO. Emma Hicks.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, Great. She's awesome.

[Christina P.]

Sorry, Emma Hicks.

[Duncan Trussell]

Is she still here? I always wanted to say hi to her.

[Christina P.]

Well, that's the thing I was gonna bring up.

[Duncan Trussell]

I made a painting for her.

[Christina P.]

Oh, that's. That's really nice of you, Duncan.

[Duncan Trussell]

I mean, you know, it's. I just want to. I love YMH and just wanted to, like, give the CEO a gift.

[Christina P.]

Really appreciate that.

[Duncan Trussell]

She forgot to give me her phone. I. Well, I mean, I gave her my. I was. Yeah, I wanted to explain. Just talk to her about the podcast. Yeah, she's here.

[Christina P.]

You guys had such a good vibe.

[Duncan Trussell]

And she's a great.

[Christina P.]

She's really done a fantastic job here at ymh. However, you know, the economy's changed a little bit, and I have appointed a brand new CEO of YMH Studios. I would like to introduce him right now. All right, his name is Avery Blackwell, everybody. Please welcome the brand new CEO of YMH Studios, Avery. Thank you so much. Say hi to everybody.

[Tom Segura]

Coffee everywhere and shit already.

[Christina P.]

Well, you're here to clean that up.

[Tom Segura]

Well, hi, sexy.

[Christina P.]

Hi.

[Tom Segura]

How are you?

[Christina P.]

I'm great. How are you? How are you settling in?

[Tom Segura]

I'm great. Very comfortable. This chair is nice and warm for me. I love it.

[Christina P.]

Oh, good.

[Tom Segura]

Love it.

[Christina P.]

Have you met everybody so far? Has everybody been nice to you?

[Tom Segura]

I have not met everybody.

[Christina P.]

Okay, so to. To your right there is cougar.

[Tom Segura]

We love a good cougar.

[Christina P.]

And then Annie. Say hi to Annie.

[Tom Segura]

Hello, sexy. How are you?

[Duncan Trussell]

Maybe don't fist bump the CEO. Maybe shake hands. With the CEO, man.

[Unknown]

Oh, my bad. Guess.

[Duncan Trussell]

Why can't.

[Tom Segura]

Why can't I hear them?

[Christina P.]

Why don't you help him any? Jesus.

[Tom Segura]

They're trying to give the CEO a.

[Duncan Trussell]

Hard time the first day, obviously.

[Tom Segura]

There you go. Hello.

[Christina P.]

Oh, there. There you are. So, Avery, what kind of experience have you had running corporations?

[Tom Segura]

None.

[Christina P.]

Great.

[Tom Segura]

I'm so excited to be here. I think that I'm gonna knock it out of the park. If a slut can do it, a gay can do it.

[Christina P.]

There you go.

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't know that she was a slut.

[Christina P.]

What?

[Duncan Trussell]

I mean, I. She seemed just very focused and, like. I think Tom made a great choice. Yeah, no, no, Avery, you seem great. And honestly, I feel like you've been a little disrespected by the people in the sound booth with you. If you are the new CEO, nobody apologize. You got a fist bump?

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Annie, what's up with a fist bump to the new CEO?

[Tom Segura]

Maybe they like listing.

[Unknown]

I don't know what you mean.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's what we do.

[Christina P.]

We?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Who was we? Like a gang bang we?

[Duncan Trussell]

No. You want fist bump?

[Tom Segura]

Fisting or fist bump?

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay.

[Christina P.]

See, what did I tell you? Avery is a great. Now, this is the CEO of YMHC.

[Duncan Trussell]

You can have two CEOs.

[Christina P.]

Well, look, we just wanted diversity, Duncan.

[Duncan Trussell]

Me, too. Me too.

[Christina P.]

We need new blood in the studio, and you oughta.

[Tom Segura]

New blood. New hole. Yes.

[Christina P.]

See, this is what I'm talking about. Avery, what have you been planning? Josh told me that you have a series of things that you would like to implement some policies here at ymh.

[Tom Segura]

I will. I will be making a little bit of changes, most to benefit all the men in here, so.

[Duncan Trussell]

Cool.

[Christina P.]

Well, yeah, we don't have enough. We don't have many female employees, so. That'll be fine.

[Tom Segura]

That's perfect.

[Duncan Trussell]

What are you thinking, Avery? Like a cigar lounge or.

[Tom Segura]

Well, so Christina actually gave me copies of all of y' all's psych evals before I actually arrived. Several of you are very mentally ill, so I'll be actually offering free therapy. Oh, free therapy. With me, that's great. Nobody else. But with me, I'll be offering myself to talk. Or if you don't want to talk, I have other skills that I'm very good at.

[Duncan Trussell]

What skills?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, you tell me. You tell me.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. This is great, though, because Ennie was saying that he wanted to get into therapy. Right, Enni?

[Unknown]

Did I say that? I think that was Tanner that needed. I think that's what was.

[Duncan Trussell]

Listen, if someone's Offering therapy. You should at least try a session.

[Tom Segura]

We can do group therapy.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

It can also be group.

[Duncan Trussell]

Very powerful.

[Christina P.]

Wonderful.

[Tom Segura]

As Tom and Christina are also committing to their healthier lifestyle, so as. So am I. We'd also be building a gym in here at the YMH studios for all of our men employees. No females, no ladies allowed in the gym.

[Duncan Trussell]

And no guy likes it when girls show up at the gym. No, we hate it. There's nothing worse. I'm trying to fucking work out. I don't want to see some beautiful.

[Christina P.]

Well, Duncan, we've had that here at YMA age and. Well, we've had a co ed gym. And I. I think what Avery is saying is that, like, we can. We can separate things now.

[Duncan Trussell]

Absolutely.

[Christina P.]

Women do their thing and. And the guys do that. And will there be extracurriculars?

[Tom Segura]

It is going to be strictly men. There will be a sauna. Clothing is immediately optional as soon as you walk in. Hopefully you don't.

[Duncan Trussell]

Hell, yeah. Swedish person.

[Tom Segura]

Don't be the awkward person in there with your clothes on. No, it's optional, but take them off.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

We will have massages by massage therapists.

[Christina P.]

Amazing.

[Tom Segura]

Ready to get deep in there. And then also nude yoga. Who doesn't like a little yoga while you're naked?

[Christina P.]

That's perfect. Are you guys cougar and any. Do you think you'll be doing any of the activities? Sauna. Let's go. Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

What about cardio? Any cardio stuff with me and you?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

All right, so, like, jogging, treadmill stuff or. What do you mean?

[Christina P.]

Why are you thinking it? I mean, you have done Will's men's retreat. It is kind of cool to be with your bros and. That sounds cool.

[Duncan Trussell]

Dude, it's the only place.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Where I can, like, you know, that's why I think they call it a steam room. Blowing off steam. Like, no ladies, just dudes.

[Christina P.]

Just dudes chilling.

[Duncan Trussell]

And where I go, they wear towels. And it's just like, what's the point? And I take mine off and everyone gets, like, weird.

[Christina P.]

Well, and here's the thing, too, is that, you know, Tom has been really running this place with a patriarchal strong right hand. And I. I like to see dicks. Tom doesn't.

[Tom Segura]

Amen.

[Christina P.]

And thank you, Avery. And finally, like, Avery and I sat down at coffee. We had a long discussion about. This is like, freeing the penises and, like, let's see them free them all.

[Tom Segura]

Y' all love to compare dick sizes in companies. You might as well do it in real life.

[Christina P.]

That's Right.

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't like comparing dick s sizes.

[Tom Segura]

Why?

[Duncan Trussell]

I just, you know, to me, I feel like competition though a lot of people do think is a path towards greatness in this patriarchal environment. Comparing penis sizes just doesn't seem like a fruitful activity. And you know, it. It can lead to. Let's just say elites hurt. Hurt feelings.

[Tom Segura]

We have a therapy that can help for that.

[Duncan Trussell]

Now I would love. I need therapy. And I appreciate the offer and I will take you up on it.

[Christina P.]

I love this. Avery, what about. You and I were discussing like team building events and such like that.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. So we also will be arranging a team building men's retreats led by William Blundenfeld.

[Christina P.]

Woo. Well, it's your guy, dude. Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Honestly, like, that's your guy. That's.

[Christina P.]

He loves him.

[Duncan Trussell]

He's the best. When I. Avery, I'm gonna be honest. You know, I was the last CEO. I thought she was fantastic. I. Their vibe was really.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, it was different.

[Duncan Trussell]

Powerful intellect. Like you could see Steve Jobs level, kind of.

[Christina P.]

Yes. She's very smart. Very driven.

[Duncan Trussell]

Driven, smart. But you know, Avery, I. I think you are. What? Ymh.

[Christina P.]

I think so too. And any. Are you going to be. You have to attend this.

[Tom Segura]

Definitely.

[Unknown]

That's interesting how you change that up in the middle of your question. You just. You said I have to. I thought that was going to be a question.

[Christina P.]

Where are you gonna go? It is a mandatory YMH event.

[Unknown]

Well, I guess it's mandatory. I'll. I'll speak to my lawyers. I think that's okay. Yeah, I think there won't be any problems there.

[Duncan Trussell]

You can bring your lawyer.

[Unknown]

It's a girl, so I don't know.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, never mind.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. Why are you getting all legal? Freaking blunderfield retreat. You should be so happy and tell.

[Tom Segura]

Her about it after.

[Christina P.]

Wow. Wonderful.

[Tom Segura]

Also.

[Christina P.]

Yes, go ahead.

[Tom Segura]

A couple other changes. Instead of our thumbs up that we be doing around here. That's very, very disrespectful to the youth in our day and age.

[Christina P.]

Oh, you mean the emojis. Yes. We text a lot around the studio and I guess Gen Z is very offended by that thumbs up. It feels dismissive.

[Duncan Trussell]

It is as fuck. That's. You need to dismiss certain texts.

[Tom Segura]

Well, so we have a new one, a better one. We will be using this booty hole emoji moving forward. If you have a thumbs up to give anybody so everyone knows that you're acknowledging the message.

[Duncan Trussell]

I love it. Toilet shot.

[Christina P.]

Beautiful. Avery. Thank you so much. Avery, I'm so excited. What Is this called the. The Buns Up?

[Tom Segura]

The Buns up.

[Christina P.]

I love the buns up emoji. This is now mandatory across all YMH texts. We're no longer using thumbs up, but.

[Tom Segura]

Thumbs up are now disrespectful.

[Duncan Trussell]

Love it. I want that emoji. Can you get me that thing? I use it all the time.

[Christina P.]

Avery came up with this. He designed this?

[Duncan Trussell]

Damn Avery.

[Tom Segura]

Yes.

[Christina P.]

He's so talented, and I. I thought he should get involved more in the merchandising side, too, and the art direction of ymh. He's just fantastic.

[Tom Segura]

Selling crop tops. Watch out.

[Christina P.]

Amazing. Thank you so much, Avery. I appreciate you coming in, and I know you're very busy, so get back to work.

[Tom Segura]

Yes, I have several meetings today. Love y'.

[Duncan Trussell]

All.

[Tom Segura]

See y.

[Christina P.]

Love you. Thanks, Avery.

[Duncan Trussell]

Good to meet Avery. Enjoy the new job. He's great.

[Tom Segura]

I'll see you in therapy, my friend.

[Duncan Trussell]

See you in therapy. Can't wait. I hope you have clear the afternoon. He's great.

[Christina P.]

He's great. I think Tom's really gonna like Avery.

[Duncan Trussell]

Tom's gonna love Avery.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Reminded me of Tom.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. And.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, he did Serious Tom vibes.

[Christina P.]

Serious Tom vibes. Right. Like taking charge or, you know, like.

[Duncan Trussell]

Underneath, you know, you got the front facing Tom.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Duncan Trussell]

But then inside, Tom is an Avery. You know, creative, driven, smart, not afraid to make changes. Open minded.

[Christina P.]

Yes. Speaking of open minded, what do you think about this?

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, yeah. I already saw this, and I'd love to experience that.

[Christina P.]

So for people just listening, it's a guy on an air mattress, and he is, like, sewn into it with a latex suit and he's breathing through a snorkel. Correct. That It's. It's. It's terrifying for me. But you love it. You're saying that it makes you hard and this is what you're in.

[Duncan Trussell]

I didn't say it makes me hard.

[Christina P.]

Oh, sorry. That's what I thought. This is for.

[Duncan Trussell]

You put that in. I didn't say that.

[Christina P.]

Well, I'm. I didn't know that. You didn't share. Have you shared that with your.

[Duncan Trussell]

You find that to be sexual?

[Christina P.]

Isn't. Oh. I mean, isn't that what it. I don't know. Is that what it's for?

[Duncan Trussell]

No, that's like a snoring treatment. That's the new cpap. You don't know about this?

[Christina P.]

I haven't heard about.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Like, this is, like, for. For people. What's that shit called that you get? You can't breathe at night. Sleep apnea. Yeah, this is the new sleep apnea treatment that they're doing. They send you that three nights or four nights of that, and they say after, you don't even want to stop. It's the. It's like you sleep like a baby.

[Christina P.]

Oh, I believe it. Except the one thing is, if I wanted to turn over on my side, I'd wake Tom up every time with those sounds.

[Duncan Trussell]

It would be very annoying to try to fall asleep next to that wriggling fish. Also, if you had to get up to pee, it would suck.

[Christina P.]

Oh, you're not peeing in that. You're just peeing in the suit, right?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, you're gonna pee into the bubbles.

[Christina P.]

That's fucking.

[Duncan Trussell]

But yeah, that looks. It's interesting. It's got that Han Solo frozen in. It's like, would suck to, like, get that delivered to your door.

[Christina P.]

It seems, like, so embarrassing.

[Duncan Trussell]

Hilarious thing to send to a friend.

[Christina P.]

Duncan, you're dating somebody. At what point do you mention, like, this is your jam? Like, at what point are you, like, okay, so.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, did I like to get in capsulated in bubbles and snorkelized?

[Christina P.]

Like, how soon in your courtship with the lady?

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, you know, I don't think there's any set time, but probably, like, after she pisses in my mouth.

[Christina P.]

First day. That is wild.

[Duncan Trussell]

That looks dangerous. I mean, it just looks dangerous. Honestly, like, how do you, like.

[Christina P.]

No, it's. This has got to be. You can't do this alone. And, like, who's your. Who's your snorkel buddy?

[Duncan Trussell]

That's the loneliest thing. If you do that by. If you figure out a way to do it by yourself, that's literally the loneliest possible thing you can do on Earth. Climb into that. Whatever the. That bubble wrap is and figure out a way to seal it. Maybe voice commands, AI could do it, I guess.

[Christina P.]

God damn.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wow.

[Christina P.]

I know. Because what if it malfunctions? Like, you need a buddy to be there monitoring.

[Duncan Trussell]

You think? If it malfunctioned because you're kind of, like, sealed up in there, do you think your body would decompose?

[Christina P.]

Just blew my mind, bro. Well, you know why, homie? Cuz we're watching Indiana Jones right now, the kids and I, and we're at the. The one from 2008 where he fucking. He finds these mummies, bro. Like, spoiler alert. And he, like, knifes it open. And the body's perfectly preserved from just, like, linen casings. And if that's just, like, organic cloth, you're right. Wait a minute. Why aren't they doing this to more people?

[Duncan Trussell]

I bet they are.

[Christina P.]

Plastic. You plasticking you.

[Duncan Trussell]

So deep underground military bunkers are filled with this. That's actually footage from a deep underground military bunker. It's a sub basement of the White House. That's what they do when they're making a new president. That's the formation of the next president. He is. That's a clone. And he's just waking up, which is why. And that squeaking sound, that's like. When that sound happens, it actually draws an octopus like creature that comes out of the ceiling. It's drawn to the sound like a mother cat to the meow. Meow. They're kittens. And then injects a proboscis into the new president. And that's what that black thing is in his mouth. Actually, that is a tentacle. It's not a snorkel. It's injecting him with George Washington. Washington's come. They preserve it. That's how they make a president.

[Christina P.]

I didn't realize that. So they give George Washington's come to the next guy and then does the next president come into the new guys?

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay, well, yeah.

[Christina P.]

How does this.

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't want to do, like history stuff. I know I don't want to seem like a dick or like. But I am, like, really into history. And so they say George Washington died from leeching. Right? Like, they put leeches on him because they used to do bloodletting back then. Yes, yes, he did die from a kind of leeching, but it wasn't bloodletting. They used to. They used to hook him up to a pump and they would crank his jizz out night and day because they knew this man. There will never be another George Washington.

[Christina P.]

No.

[Duncan Trussell]

So they apparently have, like, enough George Washington come to last for the next 30 sitting president.

[Christina P.]

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Is this how they're printing? Like, that's why when you get. What dollar bill is he on? What is he on? Which bill? The one. Yeah, that's why. Maybe it's a little softer.

[Duncan Trussell]

You got it.

[Christina P.]

They're putting the cum of George Washington in the dollar bills A tiny bit. Wow.

[Duncan Trussell]

Isn't that amazing?

[Christina P.]

I didn't know this.

[Duncan Trussell]

These are the things that if people knew. I think they love our country a lot more.

[Christina P.]

Well, yeah, because we're not really beloved as much around the world as we should be. Now, hold on, though. But you're telling me this is back in like the 1800s or whatever, they didn't really have electrical cum extractors yeah. So like what were they using?

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, look, you know, again, like it's the fucking Internet. Everyone's gonna be mad one way or the other. But George Washington was the number one slave owner of the time in that area.

[Christina P.]

Okay.

[Duncan Trussell]

And so, I mean, I think you can kind of do the math like, like how what was going on there.

[Christina P.]

And sing the song, Annie. Like the compom song.

[Unknown]

It's crazy that you're like telling me to sing it.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's almost like why you can't tell them you can't do that.

[Unknown]

It feels worse when you're telling me to sing it. You know, it's like, I don't know.

[Duncan Trussell]

Old play this is Sing the song.

[Christina P.]

Come on.

[Unknown]

That was good.

[Duncan Trussell]

You know what I'm saying.

[Unknown]

Mitch?

[Duncan Trussell]

You know what I'm saying?

[Christina P.]

That was so beautiful.

[Duncan Trussell]

Amazing.

[Christina P.]

Thank you. Thank you. So, so you're saying is that that's that was happening?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, I mean, well, they. Yeah, he was using like human trafficking victims to pump his come. You know, and. Yeah. And storing it into like cat wine casks.

[Christina P.]

That is amazing.

[Duncan Trussell]

I know. It's an incredible history of our beautiful country. If more people knew. People learn history, guys. Truly. There's so many delightful things. It's really will change your life.

[Christina P.]

You are just giving me all kinds of stuff now.

[Duncan Trussell]

You want to know why Biden got weird?

[Christina P.]

Sure, of course.

[Duncan Trussell]

So like, you know how people are lactose intolerant.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, Biden, as it turns out late later in his life became cum intolerant.

[Christina P.]

No.

[Duncan Trussell]

And so they couldn't feed him George Washington's jizz anymore and he started breaking down.

[Christina P.]

I can't. You know what's really cool is that I can picture it. Like I can actually see it because like, like I wasn't like this until this recent like tick tock. I've seen like there's just a cabal of come eating presidents. I know there is.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, that button on Trump's desk, you think that's for Diet Coke?

[Christina P.]

It's for George Washington's.

[Duncan Trussell]

He loves it. They say that's why he wanted to be president. It's just that they say the taste, you know, else tasted.

[Christina P.]

There's the button.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. And they do put it. They fill. This is how they fill the whole Diet Coke can with jizz.

[Christina P.]

And then he drinks.

[Duncan Trussell]

He loves it.

[Christina P.]

He waterfalls it or what. That's why you don't see him waterfalling it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Here's the last bit of trivia. History trivia. I won't bore you guys anymore, but Frank Herbert the author of Dune.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Duncan Trussell]

Anyone who's seen those movies. Spice, Milan.

[Christina P.]

Oh, the spice. Right, the spice.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, as it turns out, Frank Herbert was friends with Ronald Reagan, came to the White House. Ronald Reagan gave him a glass of George Washington chips. And the taste is what inspired the entire Dune series.

[Christina P.]

And that is such a popular series. Really, really fun stuff.

[Duncan Trussell]

Sandworms. That was George Washington's dick.

[Christina P.]

Okay, you know what? We need to cleanse the palate. How about this? Duncan, this will just change the vibe a little bit.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay. Oh yeah.

[Christina P.]

Beautiful.

[Duncan Trussell]

Great.

[Christina P.]

That's enough.

[Duncan Trussell]

What if that was God?

[Christina P.]

This guy?

[Duncan Trussell]

No. You ever worry about that? Like, everyone thinks God is smarter?

[Christina P.]

Yeah. Oh, what if he's.

[Duncan Trussell]

What if you met God and that's God? Like, you're like, what? Tell me the secret of everything. He just put that flute in his nose.

[Christina P.]

You're like, that's it. I've been overthinking this whole thing. Oh man, I should have been like the. I should have joined Scientology. So my brain just goes. You know what's interesting is that you learn the recorder when you're in middle school or whatever. Like, and then never again. Like, why aren't recorders in symphonies and stuff? Why don't we see the recorder more, you know, a bad instrument.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's a shit instrument. And I feel like, how dare you?

[Christina P.]

You know, that's so like you. You're just shaming.

[Duncan Trussell]

Don't like it. Not ashamed. Don't like it, don't like it.

[Christina P.]

You just pissed off the entire recorder enthusiast community listening to this.

[Duncan Trussell]

How about don't record her, it sounds like shit.

[Christina P.]

He's playing with his nose, by the way, for people listening. Okay, so we. So you're saying it's a bad instrument.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, okay, look, I don't think any instrument bad is bad, but I think if you play the recorder regularly, you are bad. Like a bad person. I think by proxy the instrument becomes bad.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, I hear you.

[Duncan Trussell]

Also, I feel like this is more of something. Like you do you leave this video in somebody's house who plays the recorder so they see that the recorder they're playing has been up this deep?

[Christina P.]

Okay, look, let's get out of fucking R words. If you don't have Jesus in your life, your life is incomplete. He makes you whole.

[Duncan Trussell]

Couldn't have said it better myself.

[Christina P.]

Speaking of cross eyed, kind of weird looking chicks, you know, bring up the Sydney Sweeney.

[Duncan Trussell]

Ah, yes.

[Christina P.]

Yeah. So here's the deal. She's a huge fan of ymh, Clearly. And she agreed to do this American Eagle.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yep.

[Christina P.]

Ad wearing the jeans. It's like, could they have sent us a check?

[Duncan Trussell]

It would have been nice. It's cool to get the shout out though, from the old Sweenster.

[Christina P.]

Yeah, it is pretty cool. I know she's a huge fan. So everybody's up in arms about this. This denim ad, which like, I guess Gen Z has never seen a beautiful woman objectified before. So their. Their panties are all in a twist.

[Duncan Trussell]

Can I give you my hot take on why people. Why people are upset?

[Christina P.]

Sure.

[Duncan Trussell]

And I hope we get to watch. Are you allowed to show the ad?

[Christina P.]

I don't know. Do you think we can?

[Duncan Trussell]

Josh, Isn't it kind of a free act?

[Christina P.]

It might get copyright. We could try. Is it still up even?

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh yeah.

[Christina P.]

If they didn't take I heard there's outrage.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, that's out there. People are saying it's because it's some kind of eugenicist.

[Christina P.]

Oh, that's stupid.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, what it is is people are jealous because clearly Sydney Sweeney is Mensa level smart. When you see her, talk about DNA genes. And I know it's a double entendre, right? But I always knew Sydney Sweeney is one of the. I would say the greatest actor of all time.

[Christina P.]

And mine. Just like Lena Dunham. You hear Lena Dunham talk and you're like, this chick knows what's happening. Hell yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

And Sydney Sweeney, I mean, just for our own gratification, maybe we can't play if you're not seen the ad.

[Christina P.]

I'd love to see it. Let's watch it.

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't know if we could. I just want you to hear this cuz she is brilliant.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

And I feel like she improv from.

[Christina P.]

Parents to offspring, often determining traits like hair color, personality, and even eye color. My jeans are blue.

[Duncan Trussell]

Genius.

[Christina P.]

Jean.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes.

[Christina P.]

Get it, dude. Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

I got mh.

[Christina P.]

Thank you.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. She is the best. You should have her. I would love to. If she ever comes on, I'd love to be a fly on the wall or even just talk science with her.

[Christina P.]

That's why she. She was chosen for this ad. She's so. She's so. She was. She's stunning. And like I. I love her. Her. Her boobs are outstanding. I think she's arguably like the best body in show business right now. It'll absolutely. She's fucking amazing. But k. Tell me. And this is horrible. She's kind of downsy hot. Do you know what I mean? Like her eyes are a little downsy, but like she's still hot, you know? There. Yeah, there you go, zoom in, zoom in a little Downsy.

[Duncan Trussell]

Zoom in. Let me see. Zoom in closer. Now bring it up, bring it up. Up a little more. Now the other way. Bring it up. Up, up, up, up all the way. That doesn't. Doesn't look dowsy to me. No, that doesn't look good. I think she looks great. I think she. No, and that's, you know, she's.

[Christina P.]

Majence. And she goes that cold. And then. I love majence.

[Duncan Trussell]

Aaron can do a dead on impression.

[Christina P.]

Really dead on.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's the funniest to hear do too. She is like so good at imitating endings. And fast.

[Christina P.]

You know, it's really interesting. I have a recording from the 90s. Louise Hay. I love Louise Hay. And there's some seminar she leads. And the women just like, I have a question. And they just speak normally. I have a question for you. Like that, like a deeper womanly register.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And then like, something happened.

[Duncan Trussell]

We're like, what is this?

[Christina P.]

What is that?

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't know why that. It used to be the transatlantic accent.

[Christina P.]

Oh, right.

[Duncan Trussell]

Then it became.

[Christina P.]

Imagine.

[Duncan Trussell]

I've been eating sandpaper.

[Christina P.]

And like, she's not. They're not thinking about eugenics. Nobody even knows what that word means.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, no, they're involved in that ad campaign. Many people on that campaign, when they heard jeans are passed down, they're like, I guess my dad gave me jeans. I don't know what that means.

[Christina P.]

No, they don't care.

[Duncan Trussell]

They don't care. But, you know, Hassan Ahmad has a theory that I think is pretty good, which is that it's all manufactured descent. It's like they. They put this out, then they throw a bunch of bots out there.

[Christina P.]

Yes.

[Duncan Trussell]

To stir everybody up and no one really gives a shit. And then it gets. It gets eyes on the brain.

[Christina P.]

It's just like, same thing with politics too, you know, they hire the journalists to create the. The narrative, the information, the disinformation, the controlled information. It's all bullshit.

[Duncan Trussell]

You know, when I found I have a friend whose job was editing video for a local news station. And I mean, I guess I'm just a naive idiot, but he told me, like, yeah, like, Gatorade pays the news stations to do a story on Gatorade. And so they invent a story. It's hot out there. What's the best way to stay hydrated? Gatorade. And it's an ad and you think it's news.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

How many things that we see are just ads?

[Christina P.]

But, Duncan, how much money do you think we paid to have the Sydney Sweeney ad done with American Eagle. It cost us a. Now cut this out, Josh. We paid.

[Duncan Trussell]

Are you. Me?

[Christina P.]

No, but I think it was well worth it.

[Duncan Trussell]

But where's the logo? Where's the lion?

[Christina P.]

It's hidden. Like, you know how, like they hide the Playboy bunny?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes.

[Christina P.]

It's. You have to look really close.

[Duncan Trussell]

No way.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Now that's. You know what I. Yeah. Off record, I think that was a great fucking move.

[Christina P.]

Thanks.

[Duncan Trussell]

Brilliant.

[Christina P.]

Thanks. I mean, now people are, like, tuning.

[Duncan Trussell]

In, obviously, and I can't even imagine. You must be getting a tsunami of new viewers.

[Christina P.]

Oh, for sure. And they're going to love what they see, you know, like you and me.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. And you managed to get your eugenics message into the ad.

[Christina P.]

That's the best part. That's the best part.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's so cool. Yeah. Slid it under the door, but it's cool.

[Christina P.]

Can I tell you, though, I would have. Yeah. God, it's so funny. They were trying to do all that and they also. People. Well, this is probably not good to talk about, but.

[Duncan Trussell]

What?

[Christina P.]

Like, they also. The Nazis were like, no fatties, no gypsies, no retardeds.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. And lots of methods.

[Christina P.]

I know. It's so crazy. Like, who gets to make the list?

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, that's the problem. Yeah, that's the problem. Who makes the fucking list. Right? Like, you need somebody like Sydney Sweeney making that list. You know what I mean? Like, if a person like her was like an aisle designing. That's why we continue to breed. It would be. It would be. I mean, look, obviously, like, eugenics is a satanic idea when it comes to humans. Dogs, great idea. Humans, not so great dogs.

[Christina P.]

Oh, that's so true. I never thought about that.

[Duncan Trussell]

Dog breeding is eugenics and.

[Christina P.]

But you know what, though? The one purebred dog we have, dumb as a box of rocks, shits everywhere. So shitty. The mixed guys, the rescues, best ones.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, this is why when you see, like, you know, the monarchy, you know, and the pure bloodlines everyone's raving about, they want to keep the bloodlines pure, which means they're going to be banging your cousin. And like, as it go, you know, goes upstream or downstream, they just get weird and, like, off. Like Prince Charles and all them just seem kind of like.

[Christina P.]

Oh, yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Addled in a specific way.

[Christina P.]

Well, they all married their cousins to keep the money and the lineage and the power.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

And have you been following the Candace Owens, Brigitte Macron? Dude, are you. Are you all in? Because I've been all in for, like, A while.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, you know, I wish I could burp.

[Christina P.]

You can't burp.

[Duncan Trussell]

I can't burp. My testosterone right now is so low that one of the things that goes away is burping.

[Christina P.]

It sucks.

[Duncan Trussell]

I know, but I love. I love.

[Christina P.]

You can fart though, right?

[Duncan Trussell]

Nope, it's a penile fart. It comes out the front in little, like, blips.

[Christina P.]

Okay. Yeah. So, Candice, let's talk. Do you think. What's going on?

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, like, I, you know, I watched everything that I could in her sort of breakdown, and so one smart critique I've heard, not of what she's doing, but of the people are pointing out, like, Macron is a child groomer.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

That is verified. Whether or not there's a dick down there, I guess we're gonna find out with a lawsuit. But the fact that they're doing a lawsuit makes me think it could be that indeed there is no dick, because don't they have to, like, isn't that gonna be part of the deposition? It's like, zip your fucking pants down. Let's see if you have a dick. So are you a male or.

[Christina P.]

No, because this is a. This is a libel case. So the. The fine print of this is that it won't hinge on. I think. I don't know. I'm not a lawyer, but I did go to two whole weeks. And so I feel like this does qualify me a little bit totally. This hinges on whether or not Candace Owens is. Is doing a libelous thing. Meaning that she knows otherwise. Meaning she knows that Brigitte Macron is not a man. Sorry, not. Not a woman or whatever. She. She's. She's doing what she's going against what she knows to be true in order to profit. Right. So she's like. Let's say Candace Owens actually believes that Brigitte Macron is a woman, and she's saying the opposite of it to make a profit, to slander.

[Duncan Trussell]

How do you prove that?

[Christina P.]

That's the thing, is that you have to prove malicious intent. And it's like. And it's really hard when it comes to public figures, apparently, because so much is written about Brigitte Macron already. And I mean, how do you prove that it's libelous or whatever?

[Duncan Trussell]

I've heard those kinds of lawsuits always. It's very hard to win one of those. Like, you would need a text of her texting someone. Like, I think she's a woman, but, boy, I make money saying she has a dick.

[Christina P.]

Right, right, right. Which Candace Owens was doing really well, prior to her picking up the story.

[Duncan Trussell]

Candace Owens believes that as a man, of course, like, she. The intensity with which she's delivering every bit of information is not that someone who half believes it.

[Christina P.]

She even said, I would stake my entire career on the fact that this woman is actually a man. Blah, blah, blah. Okay, so what does it say? The complaint alleges Owens was the first person to bring these baseless claims to the u. S. Media and an infl. I can't read my eyes. In an influential audience. The couple are suing for punitive damages. I can't. You moved it. I can't see. Punitive damage. And alleged they have suffered substantial economic damages, including loss of future business opportunities.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, but you could see. But one thing for. Okay, so I.

[Christina P.]

Punitive. They have suffered substantial economic.

[Duncan Trussell]

Don't they have to listen the business. Like, so.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

So don't they have to say, like, we lost a bud light ad. We lost, or whatever it is? You know, like. So the lawsuit. It's like that other lawsuit that's happening with those two actresses.

[Christina P.]

Oh, yeah. I can't follow those two dip shits. The.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's fascinating actresses in that director.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

And it's. It's turned into this, like, baldoni. Baldoni, yeah. Right into a caldera of poison. And because, like, they're both, like, playing this weird game of chicken.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

And what ends up coming out is, like, just no matter what, embarrassing for both sides. You know, the whole thing just is kind of embarrassing. So with this, it feels like. Like there seems to be some level of confidence regarding Macron's, like, gender.

[Christina P.]

Oh, for sure.

[Duncan Trussell]

Or they would not be doing this.

[Christina P.]

Right on their end. So, again, if this lawsuit were. I have to prove that I'm a woman.

[Duncan Trussell]

I feel like that's gonna be.

[Christina P.]

Then I would say that's. That. That's a wrap. But this is a libel thing, so. I know. I know.

[Duncan Trussell]

The other thing is, it's like, this brings, like, so much of the spotlight on it makes it even worse for them, because now people had no idea about this shit. Are like, what now? What is this? And then you start looking into it and, like, it's a creepy situation. Like, didn't she groom him? She was his teacher.

[Christina P.]

She was his teacher when she was in her late 30s, early 40s. And Candace. Which Candace is alleging that brigitte macron was first. Was originally her brother. Okay. Trogno, last name trogno. And disappears. Like, there's no record, no photographs of her in, like, the 70s, which is the time in which she would go get this sex change, allegedly. And then she comes back and she's always covering her throat because of the Adam's apple. And, like, I don't know. But I think the reason Candace is so into this, it's not that because she's a woman pretending to be or a man pretending to be a woman. It's that these families do base. Like, they. They marry, they create, they do incest, they do all these disgusting practices. And they have such a stronghold on the power structure and the money.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes.

[Christina P.]

And they're all tied into each other with the banks and the banking system or whatever. Like, apparently, like, you know, just a handful of families run the world.

[Duncan Trussell]

And, like, imagine, like, that's what Candace Owens says.

[Christina P.]

I don't know.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, I mean, I. I don't. No, there's. Theoretically, there's only a certain amount of money in the world. Right. There's only a certain amount of whatever that. Whatever we're using to quantify money. And dude, if you've had generational wealth for, like, centuries, think of how much money that must be. How much power, how much secret power, how much, you know, like, you definitely, like, have access to people will kill people for you, no problem. And you have ways of talking about it and making it happen. And, I mean, why wouldn't. Wouldn't it be more surprising if that wasn't the case? Wouldn't it be true?

[Christina P.]

Because how is it that you. How do you hold on to your wealth for so long, too? That's another question.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Christina P.]

How do they survive economic downturns and all this, like, it's all shady. Anyway, you're going to be coming back to help me host this, so we're gonna get. We're gonna figure out deeper of the world's problems. Yes. I don't know. I think I did okay.

[Duncan Trussell]

I thought you did great. I think you were. I think you need to listen to your intuition.

[Christina P.]

What about?

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, hire people like Avery, I think. What?

[Christina P.]

Oh, Avery's sleep dunk.

[Duncan Trussell]

Slam dunk. And just. I think I know if I was Tom.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

And I came back from shooting a movie and found out that my wife had made radical pro women changes to my and hers podcast company. I would be thrilled.

[Christina P.]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

I would change anything you want. Everything you want.

[Christina P.]

Well, Tom loves, like, chick vibes. He does chick stuff. And I think he is gonna be happy, too. Tom, what do you think?

[Unknown]

Get someone else in here.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, that's the mask. Mask on. Mask off.

[Christina P.]

Well, there you have it. Thank you. Duncan Trestle is There anything you would like to tell people about? Are you promoting stuff right now?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, absolutely. If you wake up in the morning and you don't have a smile on your face, you got to ask yourself, why? Could it be that I'm not drinking enough water, getting enough sleep? Or could it be that my body is covered with hyperdimensional aliens that were dropped here on planet Earth by a God called Xeno, put him in a volcano, volcano exploded and were covered in him. And it just might be that over the course of a few years, there's a way to get those pesky body thetans off of you by using some very advanced technology rejected by default reality because they don't want you to be healthy. So a great starting place. And just if you don't like it, throw it away. Dianetics. It's a fantastic book by L. Ron Hubbard, one of the. Not just like, greatest minds of all time, but also an incredible science fiction writer, explorer, adventurer, inventor, and athlete. And a sailor as well, of course. So please check out Dianetics, and I think you're gonna be happy. It's the book with the volcano on the front.

[Christina P.]

That's powerful imagery too. Yeah. And check out the history of George Washington drinking cum and all the presidents after. And.

[Duncan Trussell]

And that is coming out. Daniel Day Lewis, your kid back. Back in action. He's gonna play George. It's called the Last Days of President. President Washington or George. I can't remember.

[Christina P.]

Like, George and then.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's a good one. They usually do that, but yeah, like, apparently. What's fascinating about Daniel Day Lewis, method actor, you know what he's been doing for the last three months?

[Christina P.]

What?

[Duncan Trussell]

Getting his cum pump.

[Christina P.]

Thank you so much, Duncan. This was a blast. Thank you, Avery, our new CEO. And that's it. We'll see you next time on ymh. Bye, guys. Bye. Wow. Amen. Is that what they say? Church? Wow. I didn't remember that from Catholic school. God is real. God blesses a. God is real. God blesses a. God is real. God is real. God blesses a. That's crazy talk. That is crazy talk. That is crazy. God blesses big words.

[Duncan Trussell]

Blast.

[Christina P.]

Oh, no. All you. All you niggas, blast. You know how they love to. To chatter. Yeah. Go there anymore if you're gonna get stabbed. It's crazy. What?

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, my God.

[Christina P.]

Struggling after that one. It's gonna take me a second. I didn't make it up. That's what he's saying.