Podcast Summary

Podcast: Your Mom's House with Christina P. & Tom Segura
Episode: "Why Rob Iler Wanted Tom Whacked" | YMH Ep. 832
Release Date: October 15, 2025
Hosts: Christina Pazsitzky, Special Guest: Rob Iler
Produced by: YMH Studios

Episode Overview

This episode of "Your Mom's House" features Christina Pazsitzky (Christina P.) joined by actor/comedian Rob Iler, as Tom Segura is away touring. The two delve into candid discussions about single life, dating in your 40s, attraction, awkward family memories, gross-out habits, odd hobbies, and the unglamorous realities behind social and relationship expectations. They also review “inmate dating” profiles and some bizarre TikToks, blending personal anecdotes with trademark raunchy humor.

Key Themes & Discussion Points

1. Where’s Tom? Show Opener

Timestamps: 00:24–03:00

• Christina jokes about Tom touring—and possibly supporting a second family—while Rob riffs that Christina told him Tom is in “rehab for an eating disorder.”
• They joke about marital infidelity, “the lifestyle” of being single, and not having to fake liking people's friends.
• Quote [00:52]:
  Rob: “You told me Tom was in rehab for eating disorder.”
  Christina: “That’s right... but maybe he’s having an affair and abandoning me, because that’s where my mind goes, because I’m mentally normal.”

2. Single Life & Relationship Annoyances

Timestamps: 03:10–06:47

• Christina and Rob discuss the appeal of single life: not worrying about others’ feelings, faking niceties with bad friends, and the struggle of learning partners’ triggers.
• Quote [01:52]:
  Rob: “You don’t have to meet people’s friends and pretend to like them. Which is the number one worst part.”
• They reference the YMH “mommy” in-joke and the ever-present “fart mic.”

3. “Fat women are the equivalent of broke dudes” – Beauty, Dating, and Social Currency

Timestamps: 05:00–10:05

• The duo discusses the social double standards about weight and attractiveness, referencing a Tom Segura soundbite about fat women and broke men.
• Christina shares her gym experiences, from “toothless men” in a hardcore gym to “hot, older Lululemon ladies” at a boutique gym.
• Rob notes that in dating apps and current culture, being cool and understanding are becoming more important than looks, especially as people age.
• Quote [07:17]:
  Rob: “Now that I’m older, all I want is a woman who’s like, ‘Hey, you don’t have to come to my friend’s birthday with me.’”
• They play a Karl Lagerfeld clip about “fat phobia” and joke about fat as mate currency.

4. Preferences & Childhood Crushes

Timestamps: 12:22–15:34

• Rob shares that as a young man, he liked “short Spanish girls with a little weight.”
• Christina admits her first sexual dream was about John Goodman, connecting her attraction to “husky gents,” and surmises liking heavier men means not needing to try so hard herself.

5. Dating Inmates – Reviewing Prisoner Profiles

Timestamps: 15:13–24:19

• Christina presents inmate dating profiles to Rob, who assesses everything from body shots to criminal records.
• The merits of different offenses are debated (“grand theft? No big deal”).
• Rob jokes about dating inmates:
  Quote [15:53]:
  Rob: “If I didn’t know better, I’d be all in. But I know better.... she’ll probably try and, like, take my money and ruin my life.”
• Christina notes honesty and “showing the full body” in profiles, and they riff on how dating apps are all about managing expectations and avoiding being scammed.

6. The Disappointments of App Dating & The Need for Calm

Timestamps: 20:33–21:35

• Rob talks about the importance of screening for compatibility (“Do you drink wine every night?”), avoiding pen pals, and his desire for a partner who’s calm—not chaotic or “ride or die.”

7. Drug Convictions & Discussion of Addictive Substances

Timestamps: 28:53–31:41

• They joke about inmate offenses centering around “controlled substance possession” and “grand larceny,” segueing into memories of their own and their friends’ drug use.
• Christina shares her experience with a fentanyl patch in an ambulance, while Rob reflects on friends chasing pain meds with extreme actions.

8. Family Backgrounds & Nostalgic Poverty

Timestamps: 31:46–36:11

• Both recall rough-and-tumble, smoke-filled, grandparent-raised childhoods—sleeping on pull-out couches, surrounded by chain smokers, mice and cockroaches, and sparse amenities (“my own neon chair”).
• The differences between their childhood experiences and their own kids’ privileged upbringings are highlighted.

9. Generational Gaps: Parental Love & Old-School Stoicism

Timestamps: 36:35–39:15

• Rob and Christina share how rare it was to hear “I love you” from their dads, how emotionally distant their upbringings were, and how uncomfortable real conversations with parents felt.
• They bond over “commiseration culture” and the Hungarian way of always starting with bad news.

10. Dating Dealbreakers & Bodily Functions

Timestamps: 43:43–46:44

• Christina and Rob riff on bodily function anxieties (diarrhea, vomit phobia), and discuss ridiculous hypothetical inventions—like a “diarrhea cup” for men.
• The increasing need for calm, accommodating partners is emphasized.
• Quote [44:30]:
  Rob: “When a woman asks what I’m looking for in a partner, I’m like: someone who could calm me down.”

11. Early Wakeups, Garbage Men, and the Joy of Making Your Own Schedule

Timestamps: 47:09–50:49

• Both vent about the horror of setting early alarms for gigs or jobs, commiserate with garbage men, and long for the flexibility of Uber drivers.
• They celebrate the privilege of time autonomy.

12. Parenting Realities

Timestamps: 50:16–51:14

• Christina relishes having kids old enough to play on iPads and make their own breakfast, finally making parenting “a joy.”

13. Gross-Out Habits: Snots, Spitting, and Disgust at the Dinner Table

Timestamps: 51:05–53:53

• Christina calls out Rob’s revolting dinner habits in NYC—sniffing, spitting—likening him to “an old Chinese guy spitting in the street.”
• Quote [52:16]:
  Rob: “That’s what the street’s for [spitting].”

14. Strange Hobbies: Cheese, Paper Mache, and “Hoarders”

Timestamps: 54:05–66:03

• Intense digression into cheese obsessions, with Rob hyping a YouTube “cheese guy” he follows.
• Christina confesses shame in eating dairy publicly: “Cheese is mucus to me.”
• Paper mache is debated: Christina’s new hobby versus Rob’s disgust (“That’s how the mice come!”).
• The perils of becoming a hoarder surface, with a callback to the show “Hoarders.”

15. Relationship Red Flags: Paper Mache, Free Bleeding, and Urine Drinking

Timestamps: 65:31–68:23

• Rob says he'd rule out anyone who lists “paper mache” on a dating profile.
• The duo invents increasingly outlandish dealbreakers: urine drinking, period “free bleeding,” and hypothetical “diarrhea cups.”
• Quote [65:55]:
  Rob: “If on her dating profile, she’s like, oh, my free time I like to paper mache… Done. X, swipe left. I can’t do it.”

16. Pajitzki Effects: Life's Little Epiphanies

Timestamps: 69:34–72:21

• Segue into “Pajitzki Effects” (small, silly, practical epiphanies), from using two towels in the shower to keeping extra soap nearby.
• Both share their dumbest “life-changing” realizations.

17. TikTok Segment: Reviewing the Eccentric Internet

Timestamps: 72:23–83:42

• Christina curates a string of TikToks for Rob:
  • Woman with unique musical hobbies (“knickknack pattywhack lady”)
  • “Reborn baby” doll airport saga
  • Lifestyle oddballs: toe separator advocates, gym rats at 4am, people dining in a crane suspended in the air
  • Placenta dreamcatcher crafters and vacuum cleaner collectors
• Rob finds unexpected appeal in oddball hobbyists who have passions that “keep them out of [his] hair.”
• Quote [75:38]:
  Rob: “This is my kind of gal… she’s got a thing. That’s all you need in life is a hobby—a thing.”
• Both express horror at showy restaurant stunts (e.g. fine dining with “tricks”), bad-smelling Ubers, and excessive attention from wait staff.

18. Travel Hacks, Shoe Horns, and Squatty Potties

Timestamps: 93:05–97:07

• They discuss new travel gadgets (e.g. the eye mask that straps your head in on planes), the etiquette/shame of in-flight comfort aids, and the joy of a “three-foot shoehorn.”
• Rob is unashamed about his squatty potty use, “I’m proud of my squatty potty!”
• Christina declares, “the squatty potty is such a vag dryer, dude…”

19. Graphic Humor Close: Bidets, Jerk-off Stories, and Filthy Confessions

Timestamps: 98:35–end

• The show closes with Rob’s tale of masturbating on a hotel bidet in Vegas, leading to wild mutual gross-outs and laughter.
• Christina signs off with a callback about bodily odor, “booty cheeks opening,” and more vulgarity.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• [07:17, Rob Iler on Dating Standards with Age]:
  “All I want is a woman who’s like, ‘Hey, you don’t have to come to my friend’s birthday with me.’ That’s all I want to hear.”

• [13:12, Christina on Her Attraction to “Husky Gents”]:
  “My first sexual dream was about John Goodman… I always liked heavier guys… To me, it’s kind of like a license, like they’re not so uptight. Maybe they’re not afraid that I’m a slob. Maybe my standards get to be lowered…”

• [15:53, Rob on Inmate Dating]:
  “If I didn’t know better, I’d be all in. But I know better… she’ll probably try and, like, take my money and ruin my life.”

• [44:30, Rob on Relationship Priorities]:
  “When a woman asks what I’m looking for in a partner, I’m like: someone who could calm me down.”

• [65:55, Rob on Hobby Dealbreakers]:
  “If on her dating profile, she’s like, oh, my free time I like to paper mache… Done. X, swipe left. I can’t do it.”

• [75:38, Rob on Oddball Craftsmen]:
  “This is my kind of gal. She’s got a thing. That’s all you need in life is a hobby—a thing.”

• [96:04, Rob on Shoe Horns]:
  “I was like, wait a minute. I could put the little shoehorn in my book bag… and it made me feel so much better.”

• [99:08, Rob on the Hotel Bidet]:
  “So I, I was like, what would this feel like? … If I jerked off with this thing spraying my butt, it’d probably be phenomenal. So I did, and it was. It was fucking awesome.”

Humorous & Memorable Exchanges

• Christina’s disgust at Rob’s public nose-blowing and sidewalk spitting. [~51:57]
• Rob’s preference for “making your own schedule” in life and hating early wakeups. [~48:12]
• The TikTok/jail dating segment, especially the graphic resume rundown of inmate offenses. [15:13–24:19]
• Christina’s “expert” bias—only trusting Indian and Jewish doctors, and Asian men on TikTok. [59:33–60:52]
• The “Pajitzki Effect” epiphanies (e.g. using a second towel for hair, keeping extra soap near both sinks). [69:34–72:21]
• Christina’s shame at public cheese eating: “Cheese is mucus to me.” [56:13]
• The image of Rob cleaning his squatty potty in the shower before female guests arrive. [97:10]
• Extended, escalating riffing on hypothetical “diarrhea cups,” “free bleeding,” and gross-out relationship dealbreakers. [65:31–68:23]

Conclusion

This episode feels like a quintessential YMH blend—deeply candid, ribald banter about bodily functions, relationships, and family, offset by moments of vulnerable realness and a barrage of internet weirdness. Christina and Rob’s rapport is sharp, funny, and self-deprecating, making the episode an engaging ride for longtime fans and anyone who appreciates honest, explicit, and unfiltered conversation.

For Full Immersion:

• For the detailed reviews of inmate dating videos, start at [15:13–24:19]
• For the TikTok segment, tune in from [72:23–83:42]
• For the grossest moments: [51:05–53:53] (NYC dinner disgust), [99:08–100:18] (bidet story)

[End of Summary]