You Want To Talk Some Sh!t? w/ Brent Weinbach | Your Mom's House Ep. 811

Summary

Summary of "You Want To Talk Some Sh!t? w/ Brent Weinbach | Your Mom's House Ep. 811"

Released on May 21, 2025, "Your Mom's House" episode 811 features hosts Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura alongside special guest Brent Weinbach. This episode delivers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and engaging discussions on current events, all infused with the show's signature comedic flair.

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1. Opening and Sponsor Segments

The episode kicks off with Tom Segura promoting his "Come Together Tour," scheduled for Springfield, Massachusetts, and Verona, New York. Shortly after, Christina introduces the episode with a humorous twist on the sponsor segments, spotlighting LifeLock's services in a comedic manner.

Notable Quotes:

• Tom Segura [00:00]: "Get tickets now at tomssegura.com tour well."
• Christina Pazsitzky [00:38]: "LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity."

2. Comedic Banter and Recurring Jokes

Early in the episode, the trio engages in playful exchanges centered around the recurring joke, "How's your mom?" This segment showcases their chemistry and sets a light-hearted tone, blending humor with personal stories.

Notable Quotes:

• Tom Segura [02:07]: "I might be old but I'm not."
• Brent Weinbach [02:05]: "This is big time."

3. Discussion on Major Criminal Trials

The hosts shift to discussing significant criminal trials occurring at the time, including the Menendez brothers' re-sentencing and the trials of Diddy and Tony Johns. They provide detailed insights into the Menendez case, highlighting the change in sentencing that makes the brothers eligible for parole.

Notable Quotes:

• Tom Segura [20:18]: "The brothers, who were 21 and 18 at the time of the killings, have admitted to the murders but maintain they acted in self-defense after years of sexual abuse by Jose."
• Brent Weinbach [22:00]: "It's the power of television. Maybe your show will have an impact on society in the same way."

The conversation delves into Diddy's disturbing behavior, portraying him as a controlling and abusive figure, and critiques the legal proceedings surrounding him.

Notable Quotes:

• Brent Weinbach [24:46]: "It's evil."
• Tom Segura [27:12]: "It's textbook abusive behavior."

4. Promotion of Brent Weinbach’s Special

Brent moves the conversation towards promoting his new YouTube special, "Popular Culture." Christina humorously apologizes for potentially lower reach due to Brent's appearance on the podcast, adding a meta-commentary on sponsorship expectations.

Notable Quotes:

• Brent Weinbach [35:43]: "This is so funny because after I've been living with you for 20 years, I don't even think of them as bad thoughts."
• Christina Pazsitzky [35:48]: "Apologies to Fleshlight or whoever is."

5. Humorous Segments on Unique Topics

The episode features various comedic segments, including discussions on "gimp culture," playful banter about Fleshlight products, and exaggerated scenarios involving fictional characters. These segments highlight the hosts' ability to blend absurd humor with relatable topics.

Notable Quotes:

• Christina Pazsitzky [38:14]: "They should make disposable Fleshlights."
• Brent Weinbach [73:22]: "It's so funny."

6. Poop Humor and Bathroom Discussions

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to bathroom humor, including discussions on wiping techniques, bidets, and humorous takes on personal hygiene. The trio navigates these topics with their characteristic irreverence, making light of everyday routines.

Notable Quotes:

• Christina Pazsitzky [58:05]: "I use witch hazel, but that started doing weird things to me in the shower."
• Brent Weinbach [57:09]: "Why can't women just tell you they're just not into you instead of letting you pursue them for six months?"

7. Personal Stories and Anecdotes

The hosts share personal stories, such as Brent's revelation about being able to make his own popcorn and Tom discussing his and Christina's experiences with early podcasting and video projects. These anecdotes provide a deeper connection with the audience, blending personal insights with humor.

Notable Quotes:

• Tom Segura [15:45]: "I just figured that out and it's pretty cool because I made popcorn the other night. Oh, I can make popcorn."
• Christina Pazsitzky [70:18]: "It's incredible how much further beyond me that it went."

8. Closing Remarks and Final Banter

As the episode wraps up, the hosts engage in final humorous exchanges, referencing past projects and promoting Brent's special once more. They maintain the playful and unfiltered style that "Your Mom's House" is known for, leaving listeners entertained and amused.

Notable Quotes:

• Tom Segura [103:07]: "Thank you guys for watching. Thank you for listening. We'll see you next week."
• Christina Pazsitzky [103:10]: "Let's show them what they missed out on."

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Conclusion

Episode 811 of "Your Mom's House" seamlessly blends humorous banter, personal anecdotes, and topical discussions, all while maintaining the show's signature irreverent style. Brent Weinbach's appearance adds a dynamic layer of comedy, and the hosts' ability to navigate diverse topics—from criminal trials to bathroom humor—ensures an engaging and entertaining listening experience for both regular fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Tom Segura]

Get ready. Massachusetts and New York. I'll be bringing my come Together Tour to MassMutual center in Springfield, Massachusetts this Thursday, May 22nd. And then Turning Stone Resort Casino in Verona, New York this Saturday, May 24th. Get tickets now at tomssegura.com tour well.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Welcome, welcome to your mom's house. This episode is brought to you by Lifelock. Not everyone is careful with your personal information, which might explain why there's a victim of identity theft every five seconds.

[Brent Weinbach]

In the U.S. fortunately, there's LifeLock.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity.

[Brent Weinbach]

If your identity is stolen, a US.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Based restoration specialist will fix it, guaranteed or your money back.

[Brent Weinbach]

Save up to 40% your first year.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

By visiting lifelock.com podcast terms apply. This should be easy. Christina Pete Thompson Girl keep your pants high and wiped down with disinfected bath wipes. Just two who love to discuss cold they came right in the house put the same you got on and said you in a friendly way laughing till you get up and land driving talking mama's in the stands don't give them started big words it's worth the list it's when dick jerks disturbed no we both tried to disrespect me in my house and grab the fuck control how's your mom's in there? She's good. Likes the bourbon though. How's your mom? Get a girl show. How's your mom's in there? Good the you think how's your mom? Pull up a seat. How's your mom? How's your mom's in them.

[Brent Weinbach]

This is big time.

[Tom Segura]

I might be old but I'm not.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

A d. How's your mom?

[Tom Segura]

It actually happened in the Orlando airport Mom's house Podcast dot com. How's your mom?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

How's your mom? Sit down crying how's your mom? Sit down.

[Tom Segura]

All right. That's Joe Double back in the day. He made that. Wow. How's your moms in them? Thanks. Joe Double. That's a classic.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah. So many good drops in there. I forgot about the Orlando airport.

[Tom Segura]

Orlando airport.

[Brent Weinbach]

That's where your dad took a great.

[Tom Segura]

In his pants on the escalator. Sometimes we would ride that escalator. He goes, this is where I I was when I my pants. I was like, oh, that's nice, dad. And I left my underwear in the air in the stall. I'd all over myself. Yeah, that's really cool.

[Brent Weinbach]

Really nice.

[Tom Segura]

And then I had a a little bit in my pants.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So when I he said When I. I got off that plane, I left a little sunset on the seat for the next person.

[Brent Weinbach]

A sunset?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

I like when he called them niblets, too. Niblets in my shorts.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, my God.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah, yeah. Rest in peace. Speaking of niblets, you and I both took dumps we just dumped here.

[Tom Segura]

Pretty cool. Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

Synergy.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. I was thinking about shitting at home, but I was like, I don't feel like it's really. Ready got here. We had our meeting, and then I was like, it is time.

[Brent Weinbach]

Now, see, that's the difference between you and me is that you go, I got it. I have to dump. And then let's let this sit for 30, 40 more minutes. Whereas me, I'm like, I better go sit down.

[Tom Segura]

Well, it wasn't really. Like, I didn't have a tug. I was just like, do I have to shit at the. It wasn't like, oh, I have to.

[Brent Weinbach]

I was like, oh, I see. You're just fantasizing. I was, like, dreaming about.

[Tom Segura]

I haven't yet today. You know that kind of.

[Brent Weinbach]

Oh, you just remembered, like, hey, okay. But you do have the capability.

[Tom Segura]

I do sometimes go, oh, I have to. I'll do that in an hour.

[Brent Weinbach]

Right?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

Well, you've even had intercourse with me. Having to. Right. Where you're like, I have to, but I also have to. And then you have to choose between coming and.

[Tom Segura]

That's true. And coming always takes priority over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'll just wait till I'm done, then I'll go, hey, I got it. Another update for you.

[Brent Weinbach]

You do that.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

It's really special when you do that.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

After we make marital love, you go, I got a. It's really cool.

[Tom Segura]

That's a great segue to let people know if you watch Bad Thoughts. It's available right now on Netflix. It's been out about a week. And thank you all so much for watching it. Thank you for the messages. It has been a thrill to see so many people watching it and enjoying it. And, yeah, it was so much fun to make. Thank you for watching it. Please tell your friends.

[Brent Weinbach]

Tell your friends. Also, it's funny because after I've been living with you for 20 years, I don't even think of them as bad thoughts. I just think of them as Tom thoughts.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

They're just the things that you've been talking about for 20 years with me. Jokes that we've had ongoing in the house, and now they're on the screen, which is really special.

[Tom Segura]

I know. Like, sit between My legs and take a dump.

[Brent Weinbach]

You've been saying that to your parents for, like, since I started dating you.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

It's crazy.

[Tom Segura]

Pretty cool.

[Brent Weinbach]

You're like, why don't. If somebody's like, I gotta take a. You go, oh, oh, oh, hurry. How about I take a. In between your. Like, you always say that with you. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

My mom doesn't like that. No, my mom. So if you saw the Netflix promo of showing her. Yeah, the. For. I. I actually showed her the first episode, and that's a. It's a really funny promo because she. She really didn't like it. Like, I knew she wouldn't.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

But then she called me the day after it came out. I was leaving here and I was going to the house. And she goes, I see my mom calling. I go, hello? And she's like, dummy, I just watched your whole show. And I go, oh, yeah. And then I just wait. And it was quiet. And I go, what you think? And she goes, it was horrendous. And I go. And she goes, I'm so embarrassed. She goes, I can't show my face. My friends. Do you know how embarrassing it is that my friends can see this?

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You put this on Netflix?

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

It's terrible.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Well, thanks for the call.

[Brent Weinbach]

Thank you for sharing. And also, she's so mortified. She watched the whole thing.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, she watched the whole thing.

[Brent Weinbach]

So don't we, you know. And also, what, friends?

[Tom Segura]

It helps, by the way. It helps for Netflix that you watch the whole thing.

[Brent Weinbach]

Of course.

[Tom Segura]

They want. They want completion rate. So I'm like, thanks for watching the whole thing.

[Brent Weinbach]

It's real supportive. It's cool. Supportive parents.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it's pretty neat.

[Brent Weinbach]

It is really cool. And I'm glad she had to tell you that. It's good.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

That's really nice.

[Tom Segura]

Thanks, Mom.

[Brent Weinbach]

She didn't have to do that.

[Tom Segura]

No, that's my mom. She's pretty cool. All right, let's do the opening clip. And he. Here you go. What's up, everybody? John Rocker here.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

On my ex account, I've been getting a lot of dms for signed Rocker jerseys.

[Tom Segura]

We got a. What's everybody? Yeah, it's taking over.

[Brent Weinbach]

What's everybody.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Welcome to your mom's house.

[Tom Segura]

Welcome to your mom's house.

[Brent Weinbach]

Oh, wow.

[Tom Segura]

Good. What's everybody.

[Brent Weinbach]

What's everybody.

[Tom Segura]

Hey, man. Everybody taking off was making fun of me. And now famous baseball players are saying.

[Brent Weinbach]

That'S how it goes.

[Tom Segura]

What's everybody. What's everybody.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What's everybody.

[Tom Segura]

Do you know John Rocker?

[Brent Weinbach]

I do Know the name?

[Tom Segura]

Do you know why? You know the name?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No.

[Tom Segura]

So he was a MLB player, Major league baseball. League baseball, professional baseball player. And he was, you know, a, a really good player. That one time sports illustrator. He's most famous for, because Sports Illustrated a profile on him 20 some years ago, a long time ago. And in the article he's with the journalist and he's like, yeah, you know, he's like, New York's gross. It's like people with AIDS and gay people love it. And it, it was like the biggest story that he was like, there's blacks everywhere. It's crazy. Everybody was like, this guy's a. I remember. Yeah. And I remember this poor guy I'm sure is like, come on, that can't be the only thing about it. But that's all anybody knows about him, is that he was like, there's gays in New York. If you pull up, pull up the John Rocker quotes.

[Brent Weinbach]

Where was he living at the time? Because to see that for the first.

[Tom Segura]

Time is a shock. He was an Atlanta guy, right? So he's like, they asked him, would you play for the Mets, Yankee, New York? He goes, I'd retire first. It's the most hectic, nerve wracking city. Imagine having to take the 7 train to the ballpark. You're riding through Beirut next to someone with purple hair, some queer with aids, right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time, right next to some 20 year old mom with four kids. It's depressing. The biggest thing I don't like about New York are foreigners. You can walk an entire block at Times Square and not hear anybody speak English. Asians, Koreans, Vietnamese, Indians, Russians, Spanish people, everything. How the hell did they get in this country? Here's the crazy thing about it. He's right. I was gonna say, he's not wrong. That's exactly what New York is like. It's just whether or not you like.

[Brent Weinbach]

It or not, or you can tolerate it or it doesn't bother you. But if you live somewhere like Atlanta, I guess you don't see the, the gays and the AIDS and the 20.

[Tom Segura]

Year old mom, so funny man. And the Russians and they just dragged him so hard about like they just were like, he's some redneck, you know?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Sure.

[Tom Segura]

And then 25 years later, however long ago that was, I mean, if you read this, you're like, yeah, that is what it's like to ride the train.

[Brent Weinbach]

It's a completely accurate depiction.

[Tom Segura]

It is somebody with purple hair and you don't hear English. Like, that's.

[Brent Weinbach]

No, he's right.

[Tom Segura]

Still the same.

[Brent Weinbach]

He's absolutely.

[Tom Segura]

And you are like, how the this person get here?

[Brent Weinbach]

I really wish people would start memorizing this as a monologue and doing this. This could be like a Good Morning Julia for us where people are memorizing this and performing it. I would love to see this. If you can memorize this and send it in as. As we all did. Good Morning Julia. Yeah, I think this would be fantastic as a monologue to do. You know, this is a really good stage idea.

[Tom Segura]

It's great for awful, awful things.

[Brent Weinbach]

People.

[Tom Segura]

If you're auditioning for any type of acting thing and they're like, hey, can you audition? Be like, yeah, I'd retire first. The most hectic nerve wrack. And they're like, what the is this?

[Brent Weinbach]

You got to take the 7 train to the ballpark. I don't know what he. What does he sound like? Is he southern?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah, he is Southern.

[Brent Weinbach]

Looking like you're riding through Beirut next to some kid with purple hair. Next to some queer with aids. Right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, man.

[Brent Weinbach]

Some 20 year old mom with four kids. It's depressing.

[Tom Segura]

I mean, I went to college with people who said this exact same thing.

[Brent Weinbach]

Listen, anybody that lives in the country, when they go to New York, they all say the same.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. They're like it. They don't want to be there. So many weirdos. That's what everybody says.

[Brent Weinbach]

And it is. It's true.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. It's a weirdo city.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

That's what big cities are like. Yeah. Big cities have weird colored hair.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And people not speaking English.

[Brent Weinbach]

Although I will say, back in the day when you had weird colored hair, it meant you were cool. And now it's like the ultra dorks have weird colored hair. It's very upsetting. It's like those. Those Zimzer nerds. Yeah, we bake meat pound like the. The angry.

[Tom Segura]

Yep.

[Brent Weinbach]

They're not even cool. It's very upsetting.

[Tom Segura]

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[Brent Weinbach]

Can I. Can I just. Matt, talk to you for a second?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

There's so many updates on the show. I want to make sure we get to them all. But this came in this Pajicki effect, and I don't even think you can wrap your head around this.

[Tom Segura]

Oh yeah, and I have one to share. I have a Pazicki effect.

[Brent Weinbach]

Finally.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, go ahead.

[Brent Weinbach]

Do you want to do yours first?

[Tom Segura]

Sure. So my Pazyski effect. Are you ready?

[Brent Weinbach]

Well, you said my last name wrong.

[Tom Segura]

Pajicki effect.

[Brent Weinbach]

Thank you.

[Tom Segura]

So my Pajicki effect is that I realized the other day every, almost every night our oldest boy makes popcorn and he Will watch a show or a movie for a little bit before we start the bedtime routine. And he's like an expert at making popcorn. And whenever he makes it, I like, I'm like, hey, can I get some of that? And he's like, yeah, and I'll eat some popcorn and then put the kids down. And then we go and watch TV for our wind down. And I realized that I can make popcorn too.

[Brent Weinbach]

And. And that. And what else? That you can eat it in bed. Yes.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. I don't have to only have popcorn when he makes popcorn. I can make popcorn and eat because I like popcorn and I can make it and I can eat it while I'm watching tv.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah. Anytime.

[Tom Segura]

And I just figured that out. I didn't realize that I can go into the pantry and grab a bag of popcorn and make it.

[Brent Weinbach]

Just do it.

[Tom Segura]

And anyway, I just figured that out and it's pretty cool because I made popcorn the other night. Oh, I can make popcorn.

[Brent Weinbach]

Because in your mind it was just relegated to Ellis.

[Tom Segura]

Ellis does popcorn in the house.

[Brent Weinbach]

That's his job.

[Tom Segura]

And like when he's done making, I'm like, there's no more popcorn. But I make it. I can make my own popcorn. Yeah. Now I should say, yeah. He is a more advanced popcorn maker because he'll do the. On the stove and turn the.

[Brent Weinbach]

He loves to do it all the time.

[Tom Segura]

He does it old timey way. And then he like seasons it and he's like, doesn't have enough salt. He makes like, he does his whole thing. I do it simpleton way. I just put the microwave. But here's the thing. I can, I can make you. I got popcorn if I want pop. I don't have to have popcorn. When you make.

[Brent Weinbach]

For your 9 year old son to make it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

Do you want to know the great things? First of all, I don't even think that you've acknowledged the greatness of what I have done for us in our lives together.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

This is a Pajicki effect I just had.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

So did you know that you can put a water cooler anywhere in your life?

[Tom Segura]

Did you realize that your whole entire like mo in life. I know where you're at is just to make. To put anything that's in the house in your bedroom. Yes. Because you're like, hey, I gotta have a coffee station.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

Now we have a water machine in the bedroom.

[Brent Weinbach]

That's right.

[Tom Segura]

And you're always like, you know, you can put this in your bedroom. Because I Think you just want to live in bed?

[Brent Weinbach]

I do want to live in bed. You finally figured me out. And I'm getting to the point now because we got a tiny fridge. I keep food in there.

[Tom Segura]

You know who else did that? Manuel Uribe. Like he. He also had everything. The fattest guy who ever lived. Yeah. He was like, put it in my room.

[Brent Weinbach]

Well, that's me.

[Tom Segura]

There you go.

[Brent Weinbach]

There I go. That's my dream.

[Tom Segura]

Hey, you know, you could put a fridge in here and.

[Brent Weinbach]

And you know what else I've done?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What?

[Brent Weinbach]

I keep a box of cereal in the room.

[Tom Segura]

I meant in the fridge.

[Brent Weinbach]

Spoon.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

I can do whatever I want.

[Tom Segura]

You can do what you want. Room.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You realize we're. We're slowly putting a kitchen in our bedroom.

[Brent Weinbach]

Great.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

I want to dig.

[Tom Segura]

Hey, you know, you can put a stove in here. Yeah, that's true.

[Brent Weinbach]

I wish I could park the car in there too. I'm going have to walk to the garage. Just get in there. Yeah, but by the way, so in case you didn't catch on what I did, I put a water cooler in my room.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, I caught on to it, cuz I was like, hey, there's a water cooler.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah, a full. And it's got hot water. So I can make tea now. So I don't even have to walk.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know what's going on.

[Brent Weinbach]

Hold on. I don't have to walk all the way to the kitchen, which is right next to our bedroom.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

I could just get from the bed and then do that. That. Yeah. You're welcome.

[Tom Segura]

Very cool.

[Brent Weinbach]

Hold on. You want to read this?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, this is effective.

[Brent Weinbach]

And by the way, I think it's pretty extraordinary.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, here we go.

[Brent Weinbach]

You're like the way you look.

[Tom Segura]

Hey, Christina. Hey, Tom. I just had my first Pajicki effect since I first learned of the phenomena and the proper term for it. This Saturday morning, I was sitting with my boyfriend drinking coffee, and I suddenly had an inspired thought to come up with my own phonetic Alphabet system based on poop and dick related words. A as an asshole. B as in B hole. C as in D as in dick. You get the point.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

We came to the letter J and I said jerk off. And my boyfriend said ejaculation. And I said, oh, how about we use that for E instead of excrement? Then I thought, wait a minute. Jerk off and jack off are synonymous. Jack off must come from the word ejaculation. I was elated. I never made that connection before. Wow. This is what Christina was talking about what an amazing feeling I have to tell someone. Then I immediately wrote this to you guys. Okay? That's all. I love you guys are the best.

[Brent Weinbach]

Carolyn, did you, did you know that jack off and jerk off is from ejaculation?

[Tom Segura]

Huh?

[Brent Weinbach]

The etymology. I'm, I'm assuming it sounds logical.

[Tom Segura]

I never thought of that. Actually. I never thought of it. I just thought, you know, jacking off has just been such a part of my life that I've never thought about the origins of it.

[Brent Weinbach]

Now you know.

[Tom Segura]

Now I know. Thanks, Carolyn. I think you gave us all a position effect. Yeah. Jerk off, Jack off. E. Jack. E. Jack.

[Brent Weinbach]

Ejaculation.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. That's pretty cool, man. Yeah, that's really cool.

[Brent Weinbach]

Everybody.

[Tom Segura]

What's everybody?

[Brent Weinbach]

I can't believe John Rocker.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah man, he's queer.

[Brent Weinbach]

Love it.

[Tom Segura]

Fucking what's everybody.

[Brent Weinbach]

But again, I have no problem with people saying what's in their heart. I don't have to agree with it. You can say whatever the fuck you want.

[Tom Segura]

Big kind of world news we should kind of touch on for a little CNN update for the folks.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Sure.

[Tom Segura]

Well, it's actually three major criminal trials taking place. The Menendez brothers are going to be re sentenced. Diddy and Tony Johns are going on trial this week. Three of the biggest celebrities, big kind of criminal cases.

[Brent Weinbach]

I know.

[Tom Segura]

So first I guess Menendez Bros. This is something that been a hot topic especially in the last year with the documentary and the, the scripted show coming out, the Ryan Murphy Show. What's the latest on the Menendez brothers? What do we got? Here's what the Menendez brothers said after judge gave them a potential path to freedom. On Tuesday, May 13, Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge Michael Jessic resentenced Lyle and Eric Menendez to 50 years to life in prison, which makes him immediately eligible for parole. Lyle, now 57, Eric, 54, have been serving a life sentence without parole since their 1996 conviction for fatally shooting their parents Kitty and Jose Menendez in their 5 million dollar Beverly Hills home in 1989. The brothers, who were 21 and 18 at the time of the killings, have admitted to the murders but maintain they acted in self defense after years of sexual abuse by Jose, abuse they claimed was ignored by their mom. Prosecutors claimed the two brothers motive was greed and lavish spending incited their lavish spending spree after the slayings. So basically right now these guys have fulfilled for the most part what a 50 year to life sentence would be, meaning that they are parole eligible. And so it's just going to be Whether or not they're granted that parole because they've been locked up for all this time. But that's pretty crazy that it's been. It's been changed from life to this possibility.

[Brent Weinbach]

It's the power of television. Maybe your show will have an impact on society in the same way.

[Tom Segura]

Tom, how do you think bad thoughts could.

[Brent Weinbach]

I don't know. Maybe Steven Seagal will start to lose weight.

[Tom Segura]

He is so fat.

[Brent Weinbach]

I know.

[Tom Segura]

It was like. It was like the universe wanted to show us what was happening. Yeah, because, you know, when he shoots movies, I met somebody who he did a movie with. And I'm saying when he does movies now, he makes sure they don't shoot him. Showing his gut.

[Brent Weinbach]

Oh, wow.

[Tom Segura]

So all the framing is like, here.

[Brent Weinbach]

Oh, wow.

[Tom Segura]

And then. Because he doesn't want to show.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And then there was a video of him walking around. Somebody just. He was walking through like some festival or something. Looked like.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

And it doesn't look like I exaggerate in Bad Thoughts.

[Brent Weinbach]

No, no, no.

[Tom Segura]

He actually looks bigger than me in the fat suit.

[Brent Weinbach]

Oh, I know.

[Tom Segura]

It's crazy.

[Brent Weinbach]

It is crazy.

[Tom Segura]

And now you can also see why he tells him, like, frame me chest up.

[Brent Weinbach]

Well, that's why I always say tits up.

[Tom Segura]

Look at this.

[Brent Weinbach]

I know. He's enor.

[Tom Segura]

Look at this guy. That's a martial arts expert.

[Brent Weinbach]

I know.

[Tom Segura]

You know, maybe the epitome of discipline.

[Brent Weinbach]

I know, I know.

[Tom Segura]

Self restraint.

[Brent Weinbach]

Well, I'm thinking that maybe the truth about a certain country singer might come to light too.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, my God.

[Brent Weinbach]

What do you think? What if your depiction of that is 100 accurate?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that would be cool.

[Brent Weinbach]

That would be so crazy.

[Tom Segura]

It'd be cool if he puts out some statement though, I hope.

[Brent Weinbach]

Well, let's not.

[Tom Segura]

Well, I'm talking about Rex Henley. The real Rex Henley.

[Brent Weinbach]

Oh, the real Rex Henley. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway. Can I tell you about Diddy, though? There he is.

[Tom Segura]

There's Rex.

[Brent Weinbach]

So funny, you guys. If you haven't watched it yet, you gotta see Tom doing Rex Henley. It's so good. It's so funny.

[Tom Segura]

Rex is real.

[Brent Weinbach]

So silly. Such a knucklehead. Can I tell you? So I've been. I've been paying attention to this P. Diddy trial. It is while. You know. So Cassie was his girlfriend for a decade, right?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

But he basically held her hostage as a sexual slave. He abused the out every week from basically 2007 to 2018. Every week this woman had to participate in freak offs that lasted between three and four days at a Time. And. And here's the. Here's an icky thing that just came out about it, which I think is fascinating. So these. He would have sex workers trafficked across state lines, which is now why, if it's a federal case. So the sex worker would begock on Cassie's body, and then they would go into another room, Diddy and Cassie. And then Cassie was instructed to rub the jizz on Diddy's nipples and torso. It's the most bizarro specific. Yeah, it's such a specific thing.

[Tom Segura]

He's a real deviant, this guy.

[Brent Weinbach]

I mean, reptilian all the way.

[Tom Segura]

What is the. And then, wasn't there a piss.

[Brent Weinbach]

There's a lot of piss. Like, I guess people pissing in her mouth. And she had to be like. Like, there's one instance where some sex worker was pissing, like, full throttle in her mouth, and she's like, no, no, that's not how you do it. You got to do a slow drip. You can't just go full throttle in my mouth.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Poor girl.

[Brent Weinbach]

I know. It's wild. He's. He's a true demon.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

A true reptilian succubus.

[Tom Segura]

Evil.

[Brent Weinbach]

It's evil.

[Tom Segura]

I know. It's crazy.

[Brent Weinbach]

It is correct.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Y' all being hard on Diddy.

[Brent Weinbach]

And stop flexing your nipples.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

All these down lows. That's all the he did. He's just showing what it would really go do. What's really going on out. What's really popping. Oh. Trying to bring the boy down. Cause he doing his thing. Mad because they showing how kinky and. And nasty and. And filthy that damn industry is. That's all that is getting exposed. Autumn fetishes they got and dls and downloads. Y' all need to let that man go. Let that man go. No, go home to his family. Get back to pocket doing his thing. Nobody give a party like, Diddy, stop playing with me.

[Tom Segura]

So the people have spoken. Yeah, I mean, I hope they play this in court.

[Brent Weinbach]

You know, just, you know, he was drugging people and also taking vid. The reason he took videos was to blackmail you into doing these. So he had videos of Cassie doing stuff, and he'd be like, I'm gonna show your mom.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

These videos. Unless you do them every week for 10 years. And then he basically was. He'd buy her properties just, like, minutes away from his house, and then he would just show up randomly at these properties, like, just let himself in. What are you doing, bitch? Like, if she was out of his sight for, like, a few Minutes. It would be like, where are you? What are you doing? What did it like? He was very controlling.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it's very. It's super. I mean, it's like text. Textbook abusive behavior.

[Brent Weinbach]

That's right. You're an expert in this kind of. With all the shows that you watch on this cool stuff. Yeah, you tell me what's going on.

[Tom Segura]

Well, no, I'm just saying, like, you hear these things. This is textbook abusive. I mean, this is control isolating people. You know, like when you isolate people, you make them feel more hopeless and helpless. Like, it's. It's textbook abuse. It's like, you know, control. It's like total control over somebody. And he's obviously has like a pretty dark fucking side to him, man. Like, this is.

[Brent Weinbach]

Oh, my God. And the coolest part, not the cool guy part, I mean, is that his children are sitting in the hearing.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, my.

[Brent Weinbach]

And they're going to play the freak off tapes. And he's like, yeah, I want my kids here to support me. His daughter got up and stormed out, but his sons apparently are sticking around to watch the footage. I'm like, are you out of your mind, T. T?

[Tom Segura]

I'm T. P. P. Diddy. Yeah, well, Rob Eiler calls me T. Diddy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Terrible.

[Tom Segura]

Because of the scenes that I put him in.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah, of course.

[Tom Segura]

He's like, you're Tea Diddy.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah. I heard Rob Eiler's doing the same kaka stuff you have to do.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, pooping in a bucket.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I still haven't done it. I'm so. I'm doing anything. I'm avoiding the out of it.

[Brent Weinbach]

Why would you want to? It's terrible.

[Tom Segura]

I'm not even calling them back.

[Brent Weinbach]

This episode is brought to you by Factor Optimize your nutrition this year with Factor America's number one ready to eat meal service. Factor's fresh never frozen meals are dietitian approved. Ready to eat the in. In just two minutes, choose from 40 weekly options across eight dietary preferences like calorie, smart, protein plus, and keto. Eat smarter at factor meals.com listen50 and use code listen50 for 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. Factor meals.com listen50 code listen50 t's and c's apply. I feel like you should hire an employee to do it for you.

[Tom Segura]

All right, who wants to volunteer?

[Brent Weinbach]

Oh, my God. Tanner. Tan shot up so fast.

[Tom Segura]

Tanner. I got a into a bucket and then scoop it into vials. I've done it before. You have?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, yeah, my mom made me do it. Because she thought I was, like, messed up or something, so.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So you had no problem with it? No problem with.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I like, in, like, one of them, like, fry baskets. You get in and out, and then you get, like, this cool little spoon, and you put it in a tube and you shake it up until it turns purple.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Yeah. Wait, are you the only volunteer in the room?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I think so.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I'm not.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm not scared of a little poop. Sounds like a Tanner job to me.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. I didn't see your hand shoot up.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm good on that.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, Josh, you're. You're not. You're just gonna let him take that job?

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah, he wants to do it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Why not?

[Tom Segura]

Wow.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I've already done it before. I'm used to the game, brother.

[Tom Segura]

All right, we'll talk. We'll talk about it after this.

[Brent Weinbach]

Wait a minute. What about Tony John's? We didn't do the Tony John's.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, what's the Tony John's? Oh, yeah, we have. Well, I have a. An update. Voicemail update. Can I play this? Yeah, yeah. All right, here's the latest Tony John's from the inside. Everybody, this is Tony Michael Jones, the.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Ladies man over here in the jailhouse. I just want to say, you know, there's a very, very special suite out.

[Tom Segura]

There out in Cali.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Her name's Lynn, and we've been talking for about six months now, and we've. We finally made it official in the jailhouse. And I just want to let you know, all my fans know that I. That I am off the market. And, you know, I love you, land. I love you, sweetie. I can't wait to, you know, get.

[Tom Segura]

Out to Cali and, you know, show.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You a good time, baby.

[Tom Segura]

Take a nice, clean, hot shower with you, sweetie.

[Brent Weinbach]

I love you, Lynn.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'll call you tonight, baby, at 8:00. I love you, sweetie.

[Tom Segura]

Wow. That's the update.

[Brent Weinbach]

Is that message for us or.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know. I mean, he's letting this. This. He said, I want to let my fans know I'm off the market.

[Brent Weinbach]

Well, this is a huge development.

[Tom Segura]

Now, here's what I want to know as a worker, because sometimes, you know, people in that industry still have relationships.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Sure.

[Tom Segura]

Like romantic relationships, and they. They do their work. Just. It's just work. So I wonder if he'll still do his, you know, I mean, like, his. His adult work or whether he's saying, this love is now taking me out of that.

[Brent Weinbach]

Oh, you're his only fans. Well, can we check his Only fans. Is he still. I guess he can't produce behind bars.

[Tom Segura]

No, but he.

[Brent Weinbach]

He said he is still gonna do it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He'll still do the scene with Alexis.

[Brent Weinbach]

And his fiance has.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Is giving her full support.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, that's beautiful.

[Brent Weinbach]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

She gets it. It's just work. Yeah. There's no feelings behind it.

[Brent Weinbach]

No.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

No, it's just going to. Performing, stacking checks. Yeah, totally.

[Tom Segura]

I'm a performer. He's a performer.

[Brent Weinbach]

That's what. That's what I feel. People are like, are you upset when Tom talks about you or, you know, does he scenes? And I'm like, no.

[Tom Segura]

No shooting scenes.

[Brent Weinbach]

Checks go to the same bank account, babe.

[Tom Segura]

Yep. There you go.

[Brent Weinbach]

Imagine she feels the same. Same way.

[Tom Segura]

Very true, very true.

[Brent Weinbach]

So he's in. So is he. How long is he in jail for? Do we know?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Hopefully getting out this week. He just had a hearing, so maybe.

[Brent Weinbach]

By Friday he'll be out.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

But we'll. We'll keep you posted. Tony.

[Brent Weinbach]

John's. This is. All we wanted is just to stay out of jail just so we could.

[Tom Segura]

Get to the process.

[Brent Weinbach]

That was all he had to do.

[Tom Segura]

He's laying his gift to the world. Like, everybody's waiting for this scene because he got locked up.

[Brent Weinbach]

This is such a crazy turn of events.

[Tom Segura]

I know. I really want him to get out and I want to. I want to, you know, I'm. I'm really. I'm excited to send him the money to see the scene because they're going to sell the scene. I want to buy it.

[Brent Weinbach]

I know. Well, you know what? Maybe this new fiance will keep him on a straight path. Straight, narrow. Maybe now that he's a. A married, honest man, I think a.

[Tom Segura]

Nice woman in his life would really center him.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah, for sure.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

Give him structure, give him purpose. Maybe a family. I don't know.

[Tom Segura]

True.

[Brent Weinbach]

Anyway. Poor dude.

[Tom Segura]

Poor little guy.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah. Poor little guy.

[Tom Segura]

Poor guy. Zolo.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You said that your algorithm is now turning into mine. Yeah. How's that? How's that feel?

[Brent Weinbach]

Oh, it feels very cool. Yeah. I mean completely different stuff. I mean, from this whole new lane with any. I'm just getting non stop gay stuff.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

Every single day. Just the gayest I've ever seen. Where's Annie?

[Tom Segura]

He's working on something else today, but.

[Brent Weinbach]

And then a lot of death, too. Car accidents. I got one from like a third world country where like a lady was through a windshield. Like, I don't even know how is on Instagram.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Really, really cool stuff, man.

[Tom Segura]

You're almost there. You're Almost. It's almost complete. I can't wait until there are algorithms are complete mirrors of each other. It's got to send you a few other ones. And then it'll be fully. Will be just in sync completely.

[Brent Weinbach]

Can't wait. I don't know how you do it every night. It's just different. Different Murder horror.

[Tom Segura]

I'm not even upset, by the way. Terrible that the bin Laden doc just came out and it's number one because that's what I'm going to be watching tonight. Cannot wait.

[Brent Weinbach]

Number one this.

[Tom Segura]

Three episodes. I cannot wait. I am so excited.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah. Yeah, that's great.

[Tom Segura]

He was a big goofball.

[Brent Weinbach]

What more do we need to know about bin Laden? It's like the hit now. It's going to be like Hitler where every few months there's a new thing about Hitley.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

So what do we need to know about bin Laden?

[Tom Segura]

Well, I gotta watch and I'll tell you. I'll give you a full report next week. He was a big porn guy, you know, of course.

[Brent Weinbach]

Didn't they find that in the comments?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, they. They rated as when they went through. They're like this stacks of porn.

[Brent Weinbach]

Everybody's a hypocrite.

[Tom Segura]

Everybody.

[Brent Weinbach]

Everybody likes. We're just human, human beings. Yeah. So he had like so many wives. We know. Circle on the face.

[Tom Segura]

There you go.

[Brent Weinbach]

There he is.

[Tom Segura]

There's our guy.

[Brent Weinbach]

Guy.

[Tom Segura]

Hey, buddy. Guess what? I'm not even mad at you.

[Brent Weinbach]

I'm.

[Tom Segura]

I'm glad you're number one. I can't wait to watch your show.

[Brent Weinbach]

Number one. I do remember the day they killed him. That was pretty cool. I remember where we were living. We were in Silver Lake. We celebrated.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yep. That was cool. That was a cool documentary. How the SEAL Team 6 got him. Yeah, that was fascinating.

[Tom Segura]

That was rad. Yeah. I love this.

[Brent Weinbach]

Now I want to watch it. Why are you getting me interested?

[Tom Segura]

So awesome, man.

[Brent Weinbach]

I got a show tonight. I'm doing Mothership. I can't.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Brent Weinbach]

Will you, will you give me the highlights though?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, of course. I'll give you a detailed report. All right, let's take a quick break and we'll be right back.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You want to talk some?

[Tom Segura]

And we are back. And joining us today is an all time favorite comedian of ours who has a new special that has dropped today on YouTube. It's called popular Culture. Give it up for the one and only Brent Weinbach, everybody.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay, Wheezy. Thank you, guys. And can I just say off the top?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, off the dome, off top.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I want to thank you for being willing to get less views and listens on this episode by having me on. And by extension of that, I want to apologize to your sponsors for not getting the reach that they were expecting with this episode. So big apologies to Fleshlight or whoever is. I don't know who you're. Apologies to the owner, Fleshlight. And if he's sitting in a warehouse on a pile of Fleshlights and are not able to move enough Fleshlights off of this episode, apologies that he's just sort of stuck there.

[Tom Segura]

That's what I like about you're super thoughtful, man. That's a very considerate thing to do because the Fleshlight guy is super bummed out right now.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, I know. He's sitting on that pile of like a mountain. You go in the warehouse, there's a mountain of Fleshlights he's sitting on there with shrugging his shoulders.

[Tom Segura]

And where are people gonna come this week? That's what he's saying.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He's try. He, I. He needs to use those. He knows they're gonna go to waste unless he uses them.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And he tried doing them himself. He's. I mean, at least this is what I'm imagining.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

But I think probably about after the fourth Fleshlight, I think he's gonna be out of semen.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's true.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I think that they might need to.

[Brent Weinbach]

Give the Fleshlights to the homeless. You were trying them.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No. By the way, is that. Are they as. Are they a sponsor?

[Tom Segura]

No.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No. Okay, maybe I'm confusing that with Moon Tower. Didn't they. They Fleshlight. They Fleshlighted at one point.

[Brent Weinbach]

Is that right?

[Tom Segura]

Maybe Fleshlight was really like. They were an early adapter for podcasts that, like, before anybody was jumping into the ad space.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Comedy, they were just. Yeah, Fleshlight was trying to get into comedy, you know.

[Tom Segura]

Well, they knew too, that like, comedians would be like, oh, you come in this. Yeah, I'll talk about that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Whereas I wonder if they did think comedians are on the road. They're kind of on. On their own a lot of times and. Oh, could use a companion, a travel buddy.

[Brent Weinbach]

Can I talk to you for a second, though? Design flaw. I think it's too big. Cuz then you got to pack something that's bigger than this.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes, they are really big.

[Brent Weinbach]

And then how you clean it. Guys don't want to clean stuff, so that's an issue.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They should have made them disposable.

[Brent Weinbach]

That's right.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Right. Disposable Flesh lights.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, my God. But the cost would be that's the thing is you'd be like, hey, 60.

[Brent Weinbach]

Bucks, but you buy condoms or it's like, oh, oh, it's like the Diaper Genie. You know what I mean? Like, you just. They keep refilling with disposable.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, like a sock in there.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, rags of sorts. Yeah, nice rags. I mean, rag is a bad word, I guess, but they're class.

[Tom Segura]

You realize that right now, just this conversation. The Fleshlight guy's going like this, man. Right?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm making. We're making up for the lack of reach, I guess.

[Brent Weinbach]

Can you look up fleshly? I'm curious to see how big it.

[Tom Segura]

Is also, like how much it's developed.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

In the last, you know, we, we remember, version one. What's going on right now?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, yeah, I know. What's the, the, the, the AI version.

[Tom Segura]

Look at that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, they're still kind of. Still kind of classic looking though, I guess, right?

[Brent Weinbach]

You buy it on Amazon even.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I mean.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, you can get it in the shape of a guy's butthole.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh. Oh, wow. Yeah. Look, one of them looks like a belly button. If you're into that. If you're in a belly button play.

[Tom Segura]

You that guy's butthole.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know what they should do?

[Brent Weinbach]

They should make.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They should make that. That's the image you're supposed to look. Think about when you're.

[Tom Segura]

You gotta give one to any. And be like.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What about. What if they did one that was shaped like an ear? You know what I mean?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, sure.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Or something like that. Something kind of for. Or an eye socket or something.

[Tom Segura]

Can we go to the. Can we go to the website just to see like what's going on in the. You know.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah. I'm curious, how much does it weigh? How big is it?

[Tom Segura]

Hell yeah. I've always wanted to have sex with Ryan Reed and now I can get a mud. I can get a mold of her butthole or her vadge.

[Brent Weinbach]

Her butthole's no.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know, no butthole looks like that.

[Brent Weinbach]

No, I was gonna say mine doesn't.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They're supposed to be a. You know, they're lines coming.

[Tom Segura]

Puckering.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, well, there's a pucker look also.

[Tom Segura]

Can I tell you something? If there's pucker, if there's no scent, how do I get hard? They don't work that into this.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They should do scratch and sniff.

[Tom Segura]

They definitely should.

[Brent Weinbach]

See, it's still pretty big. See the object? The Fleshlight next.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. That's huge. That's the same size.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's so big by the Way I. That. That was pubic hair. But it's a signature, though. I thought. I thought there was a little bit of pubic hair coming out, but it turns out it's the name.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

Hold on. Shop here. Click on it. Let's see what variants we can.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. How many different.

[Brent Weinbach]

Like, how Do I clean?

[Tom Segura]

80 bucks. Wow.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Just going to dump your clip in. Do you like. Do you pull up her scenes as you're doing it and you're like, ah. You're just cranking on it as you're watching her work, I imagine. Oh. So all these people have their own. Holy shit.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

But is it really modeled after their vagina? No, it's not. They just.

[Tom Segura]

Of course it is.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They have a stand.

[Tom Segura]

The external. Absolutely.

[Brent Weinbach]

The lips. Oh, right. Because the man would know if you're very.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, my God. That's the president of YMH Studios.

[Brent Weinbach]

Oh, there she is.

[Tom Segura]

Holy. So Emma Hicks, she's the actual. She runs this company.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

Where you're at right now. She. That's a. That is a mold made from her vag. So you can actually, if you're a huge fan, which you should be, obviously if you like this show, you like her, you can go on Fleshlight and buy this. That's a mold of Emma's own Vajayjay, by the way.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Go ahead.

[Brent Weinbach]

What's the spinal column under it?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Right, right.

[Brent Weinbach]

What is that?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's. I guess it gives you that torque. I think it's like torque related or something. Right.

[Brent Weinbach]

What's that?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I know, it is weird, right?

[Brent Weinbach]

I don't understand.

[Tom Segura]

Can I. Oh, can you hit, please? Reviews. Syrup, Bacon on the right.

[Brent Weinbach]

I don't get it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, it's the molecular structure.

[Tom Segura]

Can't give a review yet. Haven't used it yet. Waiting for Christmas to get here. When I have used it, I will post the review.

[Brent Weinbach]

Thank you.

[Tom Segura]

Hey, dude, that was a really cool review. Wow.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah, I came. That's the review.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I mean, it does feel as though they really are your sponsor right now, by the way. I know they're g. They're getting a lot of.

[Tom Segura]

They're getting it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They're getting a lot of action.

[Tom Segura]

By the way. We're happy to promote stuff like this. That helps the world.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You know what I mean? Like when. When you're doing things for. To better humanity, you get a free plug.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, that's true. And you know, they have actually developed since the old days, you know, unbelievably.

[Tom Segura]

Tight, fun entrance from front and back positions.

[Brent Weinbach]

Okay.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I remember when they used to be. When the 1.0 version was just. It was metal, you know, the whole thing was metal and it was a little rough, you know? Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

Sandpaper metal.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It was just. Yeah, they used to do the sandpaper metal combo and.

[Tom Segura]

Well, there you guys go. Way to go.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Now it's softer. Now they're. Now they're using actual real models.

[Tom Segura]

So be wheezy before we go. Oh, there's your ear hole. Wow.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They do have ear. Wow, that's crazy. Yeah, there was. Isn't there a Monique joke about, you know, if you. If your man want to fuck your ear, lend him your ear? Something like that? Isn't that one of those things, if your man want to fuck your ear, lend him your ear?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that sounds like something that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I thought that. That was something like that.

[Tom Segura]

That camp would say.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And then. And then I'm just thinking, what if there's an eye socket? You know, I learned in junior high, I learned about a wink job.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know about that? You don't know what a wink job is, I'm guessing.

[Brent Weinbach]

Hold on. This is the first thing on YMH we don't know about.

[Tom Segura]

What's a wink job?

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You know what I'm saying?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

A wink job is if somebody doesn't have an eye and they just have a socket.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And that's it. The rest is history.

[Tom Segura]

Plug and play.

[Brent Weinbach]

So cool.

[Tom Segura]

That's rad.

[Brent Weinbach]

You grew up in the Valley, too?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, I went to high school in the Valley, though. Where at? Grant. Okay, home. That. Who else went there? Ricky Rackman from the Headbangers Ball. Yeah, dude, Remember him?

[Tom Segura]

What about you? Lucius S. Grant. Did he go there?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I think he did go there. Yeah. I think that's where he started the Civil War.

[Tom Segura]

Holy shit.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Was, I think, there.

[Tom Segura]

I think Grant.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

At Grant. Yeah. I think there was a beef between him and. And Robert E. Lee.

[Tom Segura]

Fucking A.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They were in the. I think they had chemistry class together and they did not have chemistry.

[Tom Segura]

You went to Grant, too?

[Brent Weinbach]

I did.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wait, really? High school?

[Tom Segura]

Where?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. In. In Van Nuys? Yes, sir. No kidding?

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah, man.

[Tom Segura]

Wow.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So you know the history, right? Tom Selleck went there. They got a picture of Tom Selleck in the administrative hall. They had Gilbert Arenas, the basketball player went there. And also Toto went there.

[Brent Weinbach]

Okay. Fun fact. I used to. The girl whose dad was in Toto, I think he was the drummer. I used to give her rides home from school.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, really?

[Brent Weinbach]

His daughter. There we go. Toto connection.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Toto.

[Brent Weinbach]

And they stayed in the Valley, I guess The Toto guys.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

The Toto. Yeah, they. But Toto and then. And you know anybody else from there? Well, they shot a lot of TV shows there.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Married with Children. Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

Things were always filming there when I was there.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Every week. Well, wait, you'd have part of the school, like, kind of closed off.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah. That's cool that they sold that. You know those. School has to sell that.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

So that it disrupts your day.

[Tom Segura]

Hey, guys, stop fucking up the production.

[Brent Weinbach]

That's so laughing. Who cares about this education?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Right, Right, right. But I mean, it is cool. It is kind of a selling point.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They shot that movie Clueless there while I was there and I saw them shooting and. Well, I can't. Yeah, I saw some interesting things.

[Brent Weinbach]

What'd you see?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, maybe this is kind of mean or something. I won't say, actually.

[Brent Weinbach]

Come on.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'll just say this wallet. I saw Wallace, Sean, and he smiled at me.

[Brent Weinbach]

That's not mean. Let's hear the good stuff.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, okay, I was so. I had this free period and so a couple friends and I were checking out the. We were checking out what was going on. And. Well, one of the actresses from the movie, let's just say I remember she walked out of the classroom, which was actually one of my classrooms, where they turned it into the fake classroom. And I can't really. Do I have to stand up for this? But she kind of walked out of the classroom like this.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, okay. Like waddling. Yeah. She had a dookie in her. Oh.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And I just thought something happened.

[Tom Segura]

She dukied.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Something like that happened.

[Brent Weinbach]

Or period. Period. Or maybe both. Oh, wow.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So I don't know. I guess that's sort of my. My fondest memory of Clueless that, you know, is that I saw that Alicia Silverstone.

[Tom Segura]

Her pants.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm not saying who it was.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, okay.

[Brent Weinbach]

It was Alicia.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

That's cool.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Could have been Stacy Dash. I'm. I'm not saying. I'm not saying anything.

[Tom Segura]

Did you have a crush?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Could have been Britney Murphy.

[Brent Weinbach]

Britney Murphy was.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I had a crush on her. Because of that moment.

[Tom Segura]

Because of that moment.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Confirming it was Stacy, it just.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It just made it feel like she was real. Yeah. She was a real person.

[Tom Segura]

You're like hot chicks. Their pants, too.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just. It was very. It was like a down to earth, you know? It just. It made me feel connected, you know?

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And I thought, oh, yeah, this is a person who.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, they film euphoria there too.

[Brent Weinbach]

Love that euphoria. Freaks and Geeks a lot of shows.

[Tom Segura]

Wow, this is so funny. Damn. So it's like literally like the filming.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

High school for some reason. I think maybe it just has a classic look to it. Yeah. You know, they have. They have lockers there and stuff.

[Tom Segura]

Wait, so this is. This section of the school always closed off?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, no. Honestly, I almost never saw any productions except for there was a couple things.

[Tom Segura]

But, like, how does the school operate? Or they have a production going and school going.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They just. They just.

[Tom Segura]

Section.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They moved us because that one classroom that they use for Clueless, they moved for that class. They moved us to a different classroom for a little bit. Some bungalow or something like that for you.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it's a public school.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So, yeah. So the city is just like four to 4,000 kids.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, it's a huge school.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Huge. Huge Armenian and Mexican demographic there. And a big rumble every year. Maybe you remember that Every year. I don't know if they still had it. During your time there, there was a rumble every year. Mexican, Armenian, rumble.

[Brent Weinbach]

This is.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So it was a planned event, by.

[Tom Segura]

The way, of course, where they would all throw down.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. And you can get tickets on Ticketmaster. You know, you call your local Ticketmaster and then you. I would try to get. It was big. It was a big deal. They started to crack down on it. They knew that it was gonna happen. So there was police and stuff. You know, what were they doing?

[Tom Segura]

The parking lot.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It would be. It would. There would be different fights that happened throughout the day in different sections of the school.

[Tom Segura]

We're going to fight today.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And the Armenian would be like.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They would. They fight in different sections of the bathrooms or wherever, you know, the hallways.

[Tom Segura]

Today's rumble day.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. They'd fight on the set of Clueless.

[Tom Segura]

You know, let's talk for a second, though, about the special, so please do.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. Actually, in fact, guys, can you stop. Stop watching this episode right now and just look up popular culture. Brent Weinbach, before you decide at a certain point, oh, he's boring or whatever, go watch the special now. Well, let's enjoy it and then come back.

[Tom Segura]

And a couple things. First of all, for people that don't know, just so they know the person that's sitting here, you are the mind and the creator behind the greatest YouTube video of all time. And it's one that's been celebrated on this show many, many times, which is the gangster party line.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Thank you.

[Tom Segura]

You made this.

[Brent Weinbach]

The master is here.

[Tom Segura]

It's a masterful piece.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, thank you.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. I mean, we've played This a million times.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Thank you. Yeah, it's kind of. It's pretty old at this point. I mean, 2013, this one came out. You know, this is.

[Tom Segura]

It's so funny.

[Brent Weinbach]

So funny.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Thanks.

[Brent Weinbach]

What's up, fool?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Talk about me, homie. Where you from? Hundreds of is waiting for your call, and they all talking about Classic.

[Tom Segura]

Classic.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It became a classic, I guess. Call these asap. Yeah, says some what man, you and your bone spurs the hardest is standing by, ready to pick up that phone.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, so. So there you go.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

There you go. Omar Deckard right there.

[Tom Segura]

It's so. It's so good. I mean, and the, you know, the concept of, like, you can call, like these lines are always like, you know, call a sexy girl, right? So, like, that's. That's the idea behind commercials like this. To talk someone to talk shit to you is so funny. And so I don't know if you pick up on how often to this will have, like, it's a resurgence, like.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, every several years or every five years, there's a new cycle of a new generation.

[Tom Segura]

Well, discovery. Yeah. Yeah, because, like, I'll be on Twitter or something, and all of a sudden.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'll see this coming up a lot.

[Tom Segura]

And someone will be like, what the fuck is this? And I'll see that it's got like 10,000 retweets. Like, it'll just explode again.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

This video gets stolen so much.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's crazy. They don't know who made it. And they don't know. I mean, this thing's gotten. It's just crazy how much further beyond me that it went. You know, unfortunately, that happens with a lot of the. The videos that I make that do well is they don't. I become totally disconnected from them, and they just blow up on other people's channels. But stuff.

[Brent Weinbach]

The actual phone number. You did have a voicemail.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It still works. Yeah, I answer it sometimes. Yeah. My sister and I take calls on our little livestream show we do on Monday days, you know.

[Brent Weinbach]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Segura]

And you'll talk or no.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or whatever. We'll talk about whatever.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. You know, but sometimes you're like, what's up?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Definitely, Definitely.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know, I start. We start trying to sell them on Fleshlight 2.0.

[Tom Segura]

Hell yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, we do.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

We do. We do whatever. You know, we just want to provide a service.

[Tom Segura]

I reason. I bring this up honestly, not just because I'm a big fan, but just to give people frame of reference of, like, this, you are the person that did this and that. You also have a special out now.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, I mean, I would say probably there's an. Yeah, definitely. There's some. Some of this kind of humor.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, well, it's just that you're the comedic mind behind.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, sure. Yeah. Actually, to give people even more context, you know, it's kind of. We haven't seen each other in a while. I feel like it's fitting that we're kind of being reunited here in Austin.

[Brent Weinbach]

I was gonna say, because that's where we met.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And that was 18 years ago, by the way.

[Brent Weinbach]

Can you believe that?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

18 years ago.

[Tom Segura]

18 years ago, Brent and I. I opened for him at Cap City. The. The old Cap City here in Austin, and we did the Bat tour thing together.

[Brent Weinbach]

But I came. Hold on. First of all, I came with Tom for that weekend. Never did. Because we were driving a car across the country.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Had such a great time with you guys. Best weekend that week. It was a whole week. I think this week started on. I think I start on Tuesday. I think that you started on Wednesday or something. And it was so fun. We went on the Bat Tour. We got peed on by bats. You remember that? So if you do the Bat Tour in Austin, part of the Bat tour is they will do what they call golden showers, apparently. And I never thought that that would be something I would take part in. But doing golden showers with you guys was one of the best, most exhilarating experiences I've ever had, honestly.

[Tom Segura]

Turned into one of my favorite kinks. Like, most of the time. I'm asking you to.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

She's like, put wings on or whatever.

[Brent Weinbach]

We take tourists. Anybody that comes to visit, we're like, you got to do the background.

[Tom Segura]

We visited the state capitol.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

We went to the Capitol. We saw George Bush. I mean, a painting of him, you know?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And.

[Tom Segura]

And we asked questions to the tour person, and we would go, so does the. Does the former governor ever come. Come by? And they were like, what? Like, we were just goofing the whole time.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, we did a lot of Goofs, man. On the Bat tour.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You remember the character Fujian? He was a French guy. Is this the camera? He's a French guy. I'm just telling these people, you know, I'll tell you, it was a French guy who, you know, kind of found it relaxing. And this is normal in his culture to unbutton and unbuckle and unzip his pants and sort of have the flaps of his pants open and kind of rel. And so we did that. I did that. I mean, yes. And I was somebody's cousin or something like that. Whose cousin?

[Brent Weinbach]

I think you're my cousin cousin.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And we just act. We played it like it was normal, you know, And I'm just sort of relaxing on this tour with the pants open.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

And by the way, I don't think Tom and I, since that weekend, ever did anything remotely touristy in any other city. Like, I think it was just the dynamic of the three of us having fun. It's never happened since. It'll never happen again because we don't have fun.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

Tour ever.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, that's crazy.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah, we don't like to have fun.

[Tom Segura]

Oh.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You got to look for their local bat tour, wherever that is.

[Tom Segura]

You know, every once in a while, I'll feel the desire, like, you know, I'll do tours of places that, like, we reach out to. Like, I'll be like, okay, I get a tour of the stadium, you know, like.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Visit a team facility or something.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, you like sports a lot?

[Tom Segura]

I like sports. I've gone to art museums on the road. If there's that particularly good city that I'll go check that out too.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. Yeah. I try to do all the tour stuff everywhere.

[Tom Segura]

Everywhere.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. I want to see everything.

[Tom Segura]

Wow.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I haven't seen Mount Rushmore yet. Have you guys? No.

[Tom Segura]

What's the deal?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's in South Dakota, I think.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And I have yet to see. That's pretty much the only thing I haven't seen.

[Tom Segura]

That's it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. I've seen everything else. You name it.

[Brent Weinbach]

I've seen Grand Canyon.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I saw it.

[Brent Weinbach]

And what's the review? 10 out of 10.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You get there and you think. After five minutes, you think, all right, I guess let's go back four hours to Phoenix or whatever, you know, I mean, you see it. I guess some people camp there and stuff, you know, I didn't see any bats there. There wasn't any urine on me, unfortunately.

[Tom Segura]

You know, Reminds me of this.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, snip. Once I squirt on you, you won't want anybody else.

[Brent Weinbach]

Dude, that looks like me.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know what?

[Tom Segura]

Very much.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That actually kind of works. Yeah, that actually works. You know, and when she says squirt, are we talking bat tour style or are we talking, like, water guns?

[Tom Segura]

I think she's talking bat tour.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Bat tour style all the way.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. Bat tour is going to be a new kind of kink, code word now. Or do you do bat tours? Yeah, if you're order, you know, kind of ordering online. You go bat tours available, you Know.

[Tom Segura]

By request or like a first date. Like, what are you into?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, I'm into bat tours. You know that. Tours. What else did we do that week?

[Tom Segura]

We went out to eat a few times, too.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Definitely. You know, we try to see some live music.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, right. Oh, we had dick tips. Remember? Dick tips?

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wait, what was that?

[Brent Weinbach]

Barbecue.

[Tom Segura]

Barbecue? Oh, yeah. Burnt ends. We call them dick tips.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

And I bought a belt buckle.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right, though. You got that big store. It had the horns on it.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah. Oh, my God. You remember.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, no, I mean, I don't totally, but I just assume if you're buying a butt belt buckle in Texas, it's gonna have horns. Yeah, I think pretty much every belt buckle has horns.

[Tom Segura]

Right.

[Brent Weinbach]

Not mandatory, but can.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, the. Oh, you know what we did, though? What was it? We dealt with? I. You. I don't think you did. I dealt with roaches hardcore that week. Yeah. Do you remember I was using. I. You know, I'd use the Internet in the. The lobby.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yes, I remember that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And I was typing away or whatever. I was typing a message. I was kind of, you know, on Craigslist looking for bat tours, you know, and I saw something kind of fly. I saw something that felt in the corner of my. In the periphery, I saw something fly or some black thing or whatever, and I thought, was that a bird or something? I just flew into the hotel, and then I looked down on the keyboard and there was a big roach. Roach. And it had flown and. Or it come from the ceiling or something, and it fell. Landed there. And I thought, I guess the roach wants to use the Internet. And I said, maybe they want to look up bat tours also. And so I said. Said, all right. And I let him have it. And, yeah, I checked out the website he went to, and it was. It was pretty hardcore.

[Tom Segura]

Some bats are. Some roaches are wild here.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, they were looking up hot Throbbing Cockroaches dot com. Oh, they went to that. They went to hot Throbbing Cockroaches. Oh, yeah. They were black ones, too. Brown ones, too, actually. Brown and black.

[Tom Segura]

Unbelievable.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They had brown. What was that thing? Brown cloud or whatever. Cloudy brown.

[Tom Segura]

Cloudy brown.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Smokey brown. They had.

[Tom Segura]

We did talk about shits a lot that week, too. We had a lot of shit talk.

[Brent Weinbach]

Well, that's probably why we all got along so def.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And you know what? That. I think the first time I did your podcast when it's so crazy how you. What, you've grown. This is Empire that you've grown into but the first time I did your podcast, that was what we talked about. Wiping. Remember that? I think we bought it on wiping techniques and stuff, too.

[Brent Weinbach]

Didn't you have an odd.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, no, I'm not. I do regular.

[Brent Weinbach]

What is regular for you?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, okay, I know. Well, this is what we talked about, but we were talking about front to back or back to front. And I. And I go back to. I say it's a combination of both. You have to do both because. Oh, you say it's front to back.

[Brent Weinbach]

Only front to back because I have a vagina.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Right. But if you don't, when you go forward, you don't go all the way to the vagina. You have to just think of it like a carpet or something. When a carpet. If you only do it one way, maybe you don't have bristles. You know, maybe we have bristles.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, I got it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So when the bristles go one way, you gotta go the other way so that the other side of the bristles get wiped as well. You see what I mean?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So you do both, but you don't go all the way.

[Tom Segura]

You use a bidet or a wash. Okay. Why do you say it like that?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Because I don't like that.

[Tom Segura]

Why?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Because I don't want to get blasted in such ways.

[Tom Segura]

But it cleans you so nicely.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, I'm. No, no. If it was, I'd maybe be more into it, but I don't like that. It's. It just seems messy to me. This seemed to get, like. If you get squirted. Right.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And it's. The blast is strong. Okay. So imagine your acorn is sort of crusted with whatever, you know, Filth.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And you get blasted. I'm just afraid that things are going to sort of splatter all over your cheeks.

[Tom Segura]

You do a soft stream. You could do a soft stream cleanse.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, that seems kind of pointless to me in a way. I can't. Well, then I.

[Tom Segura]

What about wet wipes?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, I wet the tissue. That's simply what I do.

[Tom Segura]

Would you use a wipe?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, I don't want any kind of detergent in it, because I don't. That's going to be itchy to me eventually or something like that. I. I want to just use. I used to use witch hazel, but then that started doing weird things to me in the shower.

[Tom Segura]

Will you just shove a bar into your asshole or will you get a rag and, like, clean your asshole with a rag?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Are you. I put the soap in a rag, tie it up, and then Use that to sort of clean, titillate and do other things because that's kind of classic style. Or sometimes use a pillowcase case or something like that, you know? You know, kind of full metal jackets. I go film, I go full metal jacket on that ass.

[Brent Weinbach]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And close contact with the gimp. Please be very mindful with little piece of metal that you may have on your gear that could damage the gimp. Any sharp objects that may cut through the latex are to be absolutely avoided. Storage is super important. Your storage must be dry and clean to keep your gimp in good conditions. All silicone object like this one should.

[Tom Segura]

Not be placed in contact with the latex directly.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Avoid to expose your game to too much UV light as well, you know. Okay, this is. Is this. Is that comedic? Is that a joke or is this a real guy?

[Tom Segura]

I think it's a real.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Because I really, truly believe that right now gimps are making a comeback. Yeah, definitely. You could. Okay. So they became kind of mainstream when Pulp Fiction came out, obviously. Like, everybody. Everybody was going gimp, you know.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And then they started to go. And then it became kind of played out or whatever to do gimp stuff. And then. And now I feel like gimps are making, or at least I don't know what it is, but I've been saying gimp a lot lately. And I have a friend who's a gimp, by the way, and he's. He's pretty. He's very cool. He's a very cool guy. And if you have any questions about gimpdom, he can answer. And I asked him about what. When Pulp Fiction came out and, you know, gimps became popular or whatever, I said, what did you think about that as a gimp? And he said it was. Whatever. That was old hat. It was just as I already had been doing gimp stuff. Yeah. So I think in a way, Pulp Fiction kind of ruined the gimp thing for gimps.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Because they kind of just made it just.

[Tom Segura]

And now we really have enough separation from it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, now it's. Now you can kind of get back into it and be cool about it again. Yeah, you guys got to check my gimp out. My friend. He's not my gimp. I mean, he's my friend. He's my gimp friend.

[Tom Segura]

Is he somebody's gimp, though?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, I think he is.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. He's a cool guy. He's a very cool guy.

[Tom Segura]

Sounds like it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He's a very cool gimp.

[Brent Weinbach]

Is he a comic? No, this is his full Time gig. No, he has like a day. A day job, like a desk job, and then at night.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He does, you know, he does sound stuff.

[Brent Weinbach]

Cool.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, he get. He does sound.

[Tom Segura]

He has like an owner.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He. I wouldn't say he had. I think he's kind of freelance. I mean, I think he changes.

[Tom Segura]

I would like to try that.

[Brent Weinbach]

Does he? I would too. It's free rent. Get a lease and a key. Do you live with the guy that you're gimping for at the time?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I think it just depends on your arrangement, you know, I mean, I think it depends on what kind of package deal you get on the website or whatever, you know. But yeah, that. That this is. This makes me just. This ties into the idea that I think, oh, I guess people are talking about gimps more now. I'm saying gimps. I'm noticing gimp flavors. Yeah, I'm noticing the flavors and the cultures more in stuff now.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Tell me, because we kind of jumped past it. Where did you shoot the special?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I shot it at the UCB Theater, the Upright Citizen in Los Angeles. So it was a. Franklin. Franklin, yeah. So it was a small, intimate space which ended up being a little bit of an issue, kind of, because. And I didn't realize this till afterwards, looking at the footage, but it's such a small place. And, you know, I don't know if you're not familiar with the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater. It's been there 20 years. But before that it was the Tamarind Theater, and then before that it was the Tomcat Theater where they. Where they had the All Male Revue, you know. And then before that it was Lacey's Shabert.

[Tom Segura]

Before that it was Lacey.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Lacey's Shabert, yeah. Not to be confused with the actress Lacey Shabert from Party of Five, but it was this. It was a woman named Lacey, and I guess she had something called a shaper there. I don't even know what it was. I don't. Something. I don't know. It's from the 1800s. I don't know.

[Brent Weinbach]

Oh, wow.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, I think it probably was probably what they used to call ice cream. It must have been an ice cream shop.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I think they used to call it Shaver. And then that became Sherbet somehow. And then it became sure Bet. And then it became sherbet, which is silly, I think. Sounds. It sounds like sherbet. You're like, that's not sherbert.

[Brent Weinbach]

I would go with sherbert. That's what I grew up.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They're both acceptable. Sure.

[Tom Segura]

You can do the French pronunciation or the.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You can say. You can, you know, eat the sherbet while you undo your panther pant. And then you expose your cross region and then you get the golden shower from the back.

[Tom Segura]

Relax.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And it's very relaxed. It's very relaxed.

[Tom Segura]

So relaxed.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's so relaxed. Yes and no. We did. No. It was such a small theater that everything kind of moves. And so when people were clapping and laughing, which they were doing, a lot of, it shook the. It was shaking the cameras. And so whenever there's a punchline or whatever, you see it's almost shakes. It almost looks like. Do you remember Comic View? Whenever they had certain comics on, when they hit a punchline. Yeah. They would. In post, they would shake the camera and stuff to make it look more hardcore. It basically looks like so black to do. And I. And to be honest, I thought about leaning into the shake and doing the sense the effects to make it look like that, you know, so it is like a comic. If you guys like Comic View, you're gonna like my special because it's gonna be like shaking and stuff. Maybe coming to the stage. I don't know either one.

[Brent Weinbach]

Did you?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, but no. And I was thinking, oh, I should add lightning effects and stuff, or whatever. You know, just make it really, like, play into it. But no, I. Look, it's gonna look. I mean, look, the show was so explosive. The laughter was so, you know, eruptive.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That it shakes.

[Tom Segura]

Is this the first? How many have you put out? I don't remember.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Number two.

[Tom Segura]

This is number two.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Number two. Poo poo.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yay.

[Tom Segura]

This is so exciting. I was so excited because I remembered that we had open poop talk when we hung out many, many years ago that I've been so excited to show you this today. I saw you coming in. I was like a delivery driver.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, my gosh.

[Brent Weinbach]

Leaving herself in front of customers homes just moments after dropping off their packages.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

A delivery driver for Amazon can't seem to hold it in. A woman is seen about to leave an Amazon package at this porch off Yano Drive in Woolen Hills around 5:30, Mother's Day, morning.

[Tom Segura]

Mother's Day.

[Brent Weinbach]

She also leaves a smelly surprise. Smelly surprise herself does number one.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And number two, pulling up her shorts and walks away.

[Brent Weinbach]

When I woke up, my husband said he was gonna bring me some coffee and a pastry. He went downstairs and was greeted by a. Whoa. Not only one package, but a second inappropriate, disgusting package pastry, which was. Was essentially like human feces.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's Like a coffee flavored urination. Tamara Bedoy and her family could not believe their eyes after watching the footage from their surveillance cameras. She was not done. On another delivery later in the morning, the worker is seen urinating on the front property of a different Woodland Hills home. She pulls down her shorts, does her business, and takes off like nothing ever happened. It's unclear why the driver just couldn't wait to find a restroom. The incidents happened 20 minutes apart. The homes less than one mile from one another.

[Brent Weinbach]

That was disgusting. Like, very disgusting. 818.

[Tom Segura]

In the ladies defense, I will say this. She still delivered those packages.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, she delivered many packages. Yeah. And you know what's. Okay, There's a couple things going on here. One, why did they. First of all, why did they blur her buttocks but not her face? I mean, they kind of wanted to expose her face. Yeah, that's kind of worse in a way, right? Yeah, but also. Yeah, I want to see the action, though.

[Tom Segura]

I want to see the shit come out.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And I also want to see. Well, it's funny because she said coffee and a pastry, and that is kind of what the poo looks like in a way. It's a coffee pastry in a way. Right. Furthermore, this is not related to the poo. But this is just a general thing about Amazon. Don't you think that the Amazon logo looks like a penis?

[Brent Weinbach]

I've always thought that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What's up with that? Can you pull that up real quick? Why? I think they knew what they were doing. I think it's an inside joke. It's kind of like, you know, the Little Mermaid cover. You know, they have the penis inside there.

[Tom Segura]

This is, you know, obviously that's a penis.

[Brent Weinbach]

Supposed to be a smile, but that ain't no smile.

[Tom Segura]

But also, it's the same guy who has rockets that go up now to space. But his have deliberate, like, phallic symbolism.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

His rocket is not what you typically see as a rocket.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Bezos rocket.

[Tom Segura]

Bezos's rocket looks like a. Yeah, that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wait, did you guys make that just now? Or is that. That somebody did that? Because people know. Okay. Yeah, so that. Okay, look at the. The way that the. I mean, that looks like a curved.

[Tom Segura]

But look at. Look at Bezos rocket.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah, it's meant to look like.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, whoa. Okay. He knows what he's doing.

[Tom Segura]

He knows what he's doing.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He knows what he's doing. Okay. It's all an inside joke.

[Tom Segura]

He's like, I'm down to fuck, man.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's an inside joke, actually. Look at his Head, too.

[Tom Segura]

His head looks like a.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Look at the way his head is right there. Yeah, that. Oh, he knows what he's doing. The way he's hand. He's holding his hands. I mean, look, I'm seeing a penis.

[Tom Segura]

The smirk is, I'm gonna show you my dick.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. You know, or the smirk is, I am a dick.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I mean, and physically. I mean. I mean, not, Not. I'm not trying to say his personality anything, but I mean, his.

[Brent Weinbach]

But don't you get it? Everything is dicks, Brent. If you look at building skyscrapers, these microphones, everything.

[Tom Segura]

My new show.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah. Everything sticks.

[Tom Segura]

Hirsute Pursuit.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

You introduced us to that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, that's right. That reminds me of something I wanted to ask you about. I want you to think of cockthots. Why. Why is Bear in a Bathtub not on the Internet anymore?

[Brent Weinbach]

Oh, what?

[Tom Segura]

I don't know.

[Brent Weinbach]

It's not.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay, so we made a video at one point called Bear in a Bathtub, which was, for me, partially inspired by here's super suit, which I kind of accidentally discovered on MySpace. Yeah, but wait, you know, it's not on available.

[Tom Segura]

I did not know that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

This is some of our finest work.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, so if you want to see what really got bad thoughts going, Brent and I, yeah, we did Bear in a Bathtub. You know what I remember?

[Brent Weinbach]

I got to be in it, too.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, you're in that, too.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Tom Segura]

But what I would. What. The thing I remember the most of this is that. But, you know, when we made it, I had a professional, a guy who's an actual cinematographer, do like that. Like, do handheld. Obviously, nothing was, like, lit professionally. It was just like, hey, man, will you shoot this? You know, like, he helped. And when I was. I did the credits, you know.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I put like, the, like, director of photography, like, I gave him a real credit.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And he was like, hey, man, could you not do that?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No. Crap.

[Tom Segura]

He was like, well, it doesn't. It doesn't look like you go like, oh, wow, this is really well shot.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So it wasn't because of the content. It was just. He didn't like his work in it.

[Tom Segura]

Exactly.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

He was just like, oh, if this had been lit a certain way.

[Brent Weinbach]

We shot it in our bathroom in the Rampart division.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

And I. In our first apartment, it was. Yeah. Oh, my God, that was so.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Gotta get that back up.

[Brent Weinbach]

I know.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It was a good sketch. So basically, the sketches that. Okay. She calls me and I'm some sort of bear tamer or something like that. Or bear expert.

[Tom Segura]

Animal control. Right.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I put on these fake glasses that I have, I got at a theater shop and I was trying to kind of, you know, look like. I mean, it wasn't much of a stretch, but looked like some sort of creep or whatever, right? Some kind of James Spader kind of. Not James Spader, but some sort of. I don't know, some kind of just expert. Right. Kind of like a Buscemi meets Spader. Oh, yeah. I smelled it. I smelled it. So the bear, you know you call it. Oh, I have a bear in the bathtub.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Anyway, it's Tom in the bathtub, and I guess I have to deal with it somehow. I ended up putting different stuff on you, honey.

[Brent Weinbach]

Honey.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You put honey in the trash. And he plays in the trash and stuff. And it's pretty cool. And then the music, it wasn't it.

[Tom Segura]

Good bears get honey. Didn't you say that like, good bears?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's right. That's right. You guys okay? You remember pretty well. Yeah, yeah. Good. Good bears get honey.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Good bears get honey. Have you been a good bear?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Bad bears get the trash.

[Tom Segura]

That's right.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Something like that, you know. Bad bears get the trash. And. And it's a. That's a good video. We gotta get that back up. I. I kind of started to think to myself, oh, maybe they took it down because you have kids now. You don't want them seeing it. Maybe you want your kids saying that, seeing it or whatever.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. I think they'd be like, why is. What is it? They would not get it at all. But.

[Brent Weinbach]

Well, our kids aren't allowed on YouTube anyway.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You don't let them listen to Cockthots by Hirsu. Pursuit or whatever.

[Brent Weinbach]

Did we use anything that was, like, trademarked or.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, I think it was an original piece of music that was meant to sound like Cockthots. I don't know where you got that or whatever. But. So Cockthots, by the way. So somehow, okay, this is what happened. How I discovered her super suit was. I want you thinking cockthots. My sister had a. You know, she does music and she had. My sister. She has. She had a MySpace page, right, for her music. And someone, like, commented on her thing or something. And we went to check out his thing and he had that song Thoughts playing on his MySpace page. So we started thinking, what is this here's you pursuit thing? Or whatever. I looked it up and the guy had thoughts. I want you thinking thoughts.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And then there was. There he is. And Then he had the shit slaps so hard.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah, dude.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, go for it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I want you thinking cock thoughts. There it is. Oh, it's gay Sextronica.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

But it's.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's hardcore gay Sectronica.

[Tom Segura]

The moaning below is so. It's so primal.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

So authentic.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's very.

[Brent Weinbach]

Get any in here to hear this.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

This is pretty. Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

Attaboy. That's another.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, that was the other one. Attaboy. When I tell you to sit down on it, you are to sit all the way down on it. Now sit. Atta boy. Yeah, I think that's how it goes. Or one of those has some sort of monologue in it where he tells someone to sit down. And by the way, I use that line all the time. When I tell you to sit down on it, you are to sit all the way down it. In fact, I might be embellishing it a little bit.

[Brent Weinbach]

No, I. I think that's.

[Tom Segura]

Do chicks like this kind of stuff too?

[Brent Weinbach]

I love this. I mean, this is. I'll tell you what I like about it. It's so authentic.

[Tom Segura]

Well, look what he says. The music is real. The sex is real. This is unapologetic.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah. So there you go.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Look at that.

[Brent Weinbach]

That's why it feels real.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Not hibernating, not hydrating.

[Brent Weinbach]

It's. You know what? I would rather listen to this whole album than most pop music that's being made today.

[Tom Segura]

I think we did.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Did you know what? Maybe write it is the one where he tells you to sit down on it. Or maybe you are mine.

[Brent Weinbach]

Attaboy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, I. I know in Attaboy, he goes, atta boy. You know? Yes, put it in. Put my stuff inside your mouth. Attaboy. I think or something like that.

[Tom Segura]

But I remember that the CD had like, jizz dried on it. Like that was part of the art. It was raised.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So, like, I think it maybe might have been. I think that was part of their. Their bio is the sex is real. The semen on the CD is real cool. You look hungry. Oh, you look hungry. That sound sounds like Chris Stefano copy of this album. That's somebody blowing their lips, you know? You know what I mean?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They're doing that against somebody's butt cheeks. Something that could satisfy that hunger.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, boy. Way.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I have something right here. You need a Snickers bar. Snickers, Snickers. That be funny. Snickers use this. You know, it's like they license this for their commercial.

[Tom Segura]

You need.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I got something that can.

[Tom Segura]

Something that could satisfy that hunger? Hell, yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

Now. But now you're killing me. That. When I say sit on it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, you sit on.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I have something. Wait, what about it?

[Brent Weinbach]

And now I gotta find the song.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's it. Something right here you need. I think it could be. Write it. Try.

[Brent Weinbach]

Write it.

[Tom Segura]

Just write it. When I snap my fingers, I want.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You to sit down on this big table. Tent pole, and I want you to.

[Tom Segura]

Sit down all the way.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay. I embellished it a little bit. Or change it.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah, it's memory, but it's close.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Close. No hesitation, no hesitation.

[Tom Segura]

Wind up with that butthole and you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Sit straight down all the way.

[Tom Segura]

Wow.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, it's close. It's close to what I was. Yeah, it's close. I haven't. I haven't heard write it in years. In fact, I. I haven't jammed out to this since the 2000s.

[Tom Segura]

Dude, we gotta. Let's. Hey, can you order some hard copies?

[Brent Weinbach]

Can we find these guys? Do they still exist?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I think. I actually think it's just one guy. I think maybe.

[Tom Segura]

No, I think it's more.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I think that could be the same guy.

[Tom Segura]

No, but in the description.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh. Oh, we.

[Tom Segura]

I think it's.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay, Maybe it is.

[Brent Weinbach]

Hold on. There's a new CD called Tighten. That must.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, you're right. It is. It's. What is his name? Harley. Harley Phoenix and Brian Drill.

[Brent Weinbach]

You gotta find these guys here.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Let's get this thing lined up. Well, wait, so do you. You did a thing called Bad Thoughts, and that's like. Cockthots.

[Tom Segura]

Bad Thoughts is my new series that just came out.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And when she watched it, she goes, I think you should call this show Cockthots because there's so many dicks in it.

[Brent Weinbach]

And I was like, oh, it's all about dick.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You said I would. But that name has been taken.

[Tom Segura]

It's been taken. And I respect Pursuit.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. Pursuit.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Wait, there's a new album.

[Brent Weinbach]

You said, so I'm reading it. It says there's a new cd, Tighten that Muscle Ring, features collaborators such as Brian Dahl of three Majesty. Boyd Rice can't even read.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, so wait a minute. So those are the names of people that are.

[Brent Weinbach]

The music is real. The sex is real.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

This is gay sex music that offers no apologies.

[Brent Weinbach]

That's why I like it.

[Tom Segura]

Wait, but the names we credited are not. That's like. It's featuring these guys.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I think Hirsute Pursuit is one guy who got these other guys.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know, well, hit.

[Tom Segura]

Hit. Artist profile on the right. Yeah. See if it says anything. No.

[Brent Weinbach]

Oh, boy, I wish there were.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's a good shot right there. That one on the right. That. Where the hand is next to the right. You go to move the hand to the right. Now move to the hand to the left.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, that's the jizz cover, right?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

The guy with the orange shirt.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Attaboy. Yeah, that's a good shot.

[Tom Segura]

But if you go to the 1. If you close that and you go to the left of that one, the hp, that's what the CD cover was like. It was. It was a gist.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's raised that whole. Wait, did you order the cd?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, wow. Okay. Wow. I didn't know that you did that.

[Brent Weinbach]

We're devoted fans.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I. Wow. That's so crazy. So it started with me telling you about it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And then that led to Bear in a bath.

[Tom Segura]

I think if you go to, like a old. If you go to an old episode. We love of your mom's house. Yeah, I think we. We listened to the whole album.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, you did? So this is. This is old hat for you guys?

[Tom Segura]

Well, I mean, years ago, I mean.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

But, you know, you fully kind of really went in on it probably deeper than I did.

[Tom Segura]

Yes.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know, what did they do? They should have done this with a cd. They should have had the hole in the middle of it be kind of, you know, rectal esque.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know what I mean? That would have been kind of neat.

[Tom Segura]

With a little bit of bristle, too.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

With some bristles, definitely. It's not a bare CD unless it's got. It's not Pursuit. It's not Hirsuit. Unless it's got bristle.

[Tom Segura]

That's right. Gene, you ready?

[Brent Weinbach]

I'm ready. Oh, shit. Are you ready, Brent?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, shoot.

[Brent Weinbach]

Now, I don't know if you're on TikTok.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What do you mean by on it?

[Brent Weinbach]

Do you have.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Do I sit all the way down on it? Am I all the way down on it?

[Brent Weinbach]

Or do you have the app on your phone? Do you have an iPhone?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, yeah, I do, actually. I don't have an iPhone. I have an iPad. That's what I leave it at home.

[Brent Weinbach]

Okay.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I've never had a phone. You know. I've never had a phone.

[Brent Weinbach]

I know.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I mean, cell phone, that is.

[Brent Weinbach]

I figured. Wait, you still don't have a cellular phone?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Never. Never had a cellular phone.

[Brent Weinbach]

How are people getting a hold of you?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

They call me Ami Landline. You Me Landline Omilani. They call me Ami Lanny So while.

[Tom Segura]

You'Re here, though, if somebody in LA were to wanted to call me, they.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Can contact me on through my Google voice, which I don't have. I need my laptop in front of me, but when I'm in the hotel room, I get on my laptop.

[Tom Segura]

This is. You're like a real throwback.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I get on my lapy.

[Brent Weinbach]

Hold on, Jelen. When you go places and you need directions, do you print them out like on MapQuest before you go to the post?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I don't print them out. I just write them down sometimes. Or I'll memorize it. I'm pretty good. Yeah, I'll memorize it. And if I get lost on the road, I'm. I'm not afraid to just roll down my window to somebody and make a connection.

[Tom Segura]

Hey, bro.

[Brent Weinbach]

I don't.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Hey, well, hey, man.

[Brent Weinbach]

Hey.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Hey, where's the mom's house studio? Hey, can you direct me to the mom's house studio? And they say, I think it's over near the Montgomery Ward. You got to make a left, then turn right on the Foster's Freeze. And then I think you gotta go past the Arco station. And I think you got to go in there and get a 32 ouncer first and ask the guy in there, and he will know.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, you got your full analog, though. That's what you are.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I wouldn't say that exact. I wouldn't say that, but. Because I don't really watch videotapes anymore.

[Tom Segura]

But I feel like the few people that I've met that go. Because I know a few that have been like, hey, no smartphone. I think they're happier.

[Brent Weinbach]

I. I hate it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I don't like how not present people are when they're on their. You know, when they have their phones all the time. Because, you know, I'm here trying to make connections, you know.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And when I'm at the airport sitting around, I want to talk to you people sometimes.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, sometimes I get on my.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I get on my laptop sometimes. To be honest, I do chat people up in places. So I was at. I was at Super Cuts, okay.

[Tom Segura]

Hell, yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And I was waiting for my turn, and there was a guy wearing an Olympic shirt. He'd said. Said Olympics on it. And I thought, oh, I wonder if that guy's an Olympian, you know, And I wanted to talk to him about it, you know, And I said, hey, excuse me. And he was on his phone and didn't really notice me or hear me. And then there was this kid who was also waiting, and I turned to Him. And I said. Because he wasn't trying to hear me right? And the bit. The kid didn't have a phone. And I said, hey, do you think that guy's an Olympian? And they. The kid said, I don't know. I don't know. He was. I don't know. He was from another country, I think. Maybe Russian, I think. And then I said, I don't know. He's got that Olympian shirt. And he's like, yeah, maybe, huh? Maybe. And then finally we got the guy's attention, and it turned out he was just a fan of the Olympics and he wasn't an Olympian. But, you know, that could have been. We could have got more into it, though, you know, if he wasn't on his phone, I think, you know, we could have talked about, okay, what Olympians are you into? What do you. You do. They have bristles, you know, Are you into bristles?

[Tom Segura]

You know, you could have gone anywhere.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know, what. Where. What Olympics have you been to?

[Tom Segura]

That could be fun.

[Brent Weinbach]

Can I tell you something? I'm over it, too. Like, we put a landline in the house just so that on the weekends, I'm not always like, is Tom trying to get.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, that's good. That's good.

[Brent Weinbach]

If dad calls, he's. That's dad. You know that if that phone rings, it's dad.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh. Because he's the only one who has the number.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah. You know, I have a phone. I'm sick of looking at it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's a. It's also this kind of radioactive piece of thing that's in your stuff.

[Brent Weinbach]

But the point is, Brent, I like to. I highlight the marginalized communities of Tick Tock. So these aren't the regular fun dance videos everybody's sharing on Tick Tock. These are the special. The outliers that I'm giving a voice to.

[Tom Segura]

And then we just. We just watch them.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And I have it. I have a Tick Tock account to post stuff of my own, but it doesn't really. Occasionally something will do well there, but not.

[Tom Segura]

It is what it is.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's crazy to me that I tried posting some of my viral videos on there, and they. They don't. They either get shut down or they. They don't do well at all. And then these other people on TikTok.

[Brent Weinbach]

Get millions of views on doing stupid shit. I know.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, no, no. On my videos just tell you they're just not into you. Instead of letting you pursue them for six months when you could have just stopped at the regain. I'm not disintegr.

[Tom Segura]

Good point.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, that's a good point. Pretty good song, actually.

[Tom Segura]

It's a good song. And also, why are you ladies leading these guys on if you're not interested? Just. Fuck. He's trying. Six months.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I was distracted by the music. I didn't even hear the lyrics. Can I hear the lyrics one more time?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, sure, man.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Why can't women just tell you they're just not into you instead of letting.

[Tom Segura]

You pursue them for six months when.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You could just stop at the beginning? I relate. Yeah, men. I mean, women are kind of messed up in that sense, you know, that they don't. They don't kind of just. They play games, you know? They're always playing games. You know? They're always playing games.

[Tom Segura]

You have a Boo Boo Chicken Pop in your life.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I say home. Say what?

[Tom Segura]

You have a Boo Boo Chicken Pop in your life.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, I don't know. I think so. I don't know what that means, but. You mean. I'll play Bop it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, Bop It.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

With a lady friend. We've gotten lot. But I don't have a lady friend. I don't. I got a full monk lifestyle right now, okay? You know, I'm going full monk. You know, I watch usa.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know, I hang out at the monastery. You know, I play around midnight on the.

[Tom Segura]

Why do you think, ladies?

[Brent Weinbach]

There's a few reasons. Number one, some hoes just like the attention, and they're desperate for just somebody to show them some attention. Number two, a lot of women have a hard time saying no. They don't want to hurt your feelings. So they'd rather hurt your feelings. Oh, sorry, sir. Yeah, they'd rather hurt your feelings in the long run. Leading you on, leading you on. And then eventually say no. It's just because they don't want to say no and hurt your feelings at the top.

[Tom Segura]

Bitches be trifling, dude.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's tough, though, you know? I feel this man's pain, you know?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's hard to find a woman, you know? Of course it's hard, because I don't. I don't know about him, but if you're uptight like me.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know, there's certain things. It's hard to find somebody.

[Brent Weinbach]

What's up?

[Tom Segura]

What's the thing? Yeah, what's the thing?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That, like, you're like, no pets, you know? Me, I don't like pets. Yeah, I remember went to your house at one time. You guys had dogs.

[Tom Segura]

I thought, I ain't staying here.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's not for me. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

What's another one?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Look, I. I like somebody who's germaphobic like me.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know, and if you're germaphobic like me, there's a lot of stuff you don't like. You know, Pets.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Tattoos.

[Tom Segura]

Yep.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Tattoos are not really a germ, but it feels like a germ. You know what I mean?

[Tom Segura]

What about this chick?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's my type. That's how you do it.

[Brent Weinbach]

I'm not done. Get back up here. I could do this so easily. Yep.

[Tom Segura]

All right, one more time.

[Brent Weinbach]

Get up. Let's go.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay. This is again, gimp culture kind of coming. Coming back.

[Brent Weinbach]

Appropriated. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

She's cute, too.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So do you think that guy. He's not wearing anything underneath it?

[Tom Segura]

You never really know. It's always the discussion. That's why I prefer the ones when they're not wearing pants. Oh, really?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You see that?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I've seen that. Full contact.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Not wearing pants, but wearing underwear or just nothing?

[Tom Segura]

Both. I've seen.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, you really? Nothing.

[Tom Segura]

And I've seen the ones where the girl, after she kicks, she grabs it and she's just like, like. And she's like, suffer. I want to see blood.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wonder if that hurts or not.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. I don't know. I think it obviously feels good to him in some way.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Right. Okay, if somebody. Okay. If they like that. Right?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Get this. Okay, get this. If he likes that and he maybe is turned on by it. Right?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, that. That is. Gives him protection. If he is getting hard from this, then getting kicked in the penis or whatever. Yeah, I guess. The balls.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, the balls.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

But maybe the penis curves like the Amazon logo.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, right.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And it kind of protects the balls. And then he's kind of, you know, protected by his.

[Tom Segura]

Always.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's. It's almost like. Okay. If this turns him on, it's no big whoop.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know, though. But you are having some form, even if you like it, of testicular trauma when. When.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Even if you're blocking it with a curved. I think with a curved shield.

[Tom Segura]

I mean, she's kicking him pretty fucking hard.

[Brent Weinbach]

I mean, it's. You're fucked up.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Do you think she actually does karate? I think she's a black belt.

[Tom Segura]

I think she's a third degree.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know, I'm a black belt. Yeah, I am a black belt.

[Tom Segura]

I remember. Yeah, I remember.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Shoot, there's no joke. That's not the only thing. I'm black.

[Tom Segura]

Wow.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I don't know whatever that means. Yeah, I have that. I got no I did do get the. I did get the black belt. I did.

[Tom Segura]

In which. Which martial art?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Tang Soo Dog.

[Brent Weinbach]

So, do, how old are you?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm 18.

[Brent Weinbach]

You're 18? God damn.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I mean, it's just an. From my dad.

[Brent Weinbach]

What happened?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I mean, he's balding all over. It just goes right back.

[Brent Weinbach]

Damn, that's really bad. That's really, really bad. What products do you use?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Basic shampoos, Head Shoulders, Old Spice, you know.

[Brent Weinbach]

Well, don't use cheap products.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What do you want to do today? I just want my hairline a little hidden, so.

[Tom Segura]

Anything to hide my hairline?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

Are you ready for this transformation?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm ready.

[Brent Weinbach]

All right, let's go. He's 18. This poor boy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wait, hold on a second. I have to.

[Brent Weinbach]

It's a hairdresser who's giving a console.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

This is super cuts.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it feels like it, but watch this.

[Brent Weinbach]

You're gonna shit your pants. So much better. So much. Now he looks 18.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wait, that guy was 18? Yes. Before he was 18, yeah. You mean he's 18 now?

[Tom Segura]

He's 18 now he's 18. That is a better haircut for him.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah, he needed to cover.

[Tom Segura]

I like her style, too. I was like, God damn, you look like shit, man.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Can we just try that one more time? Because I just gotta get. Get a gauge of what was going on when he was old, you know?

[Tom Segura]

Here.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

So this is his. You know how he came in?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm gonna be honest with you.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I like this look more.

[Tom Segura]

Of course you would.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

If I had to. If I had to pick.

[Tom Segura]

He looks like a FBI agent from the 50s.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He looks like he would be a bear trainer in Bear in a Bathtub.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, he kind of does. Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And I like that man.

[Brent Weinbach]

He looks like the man, but he looks. It looks like a FBI.

[Tom Segura]

It looks like a grown. Like this has an adult.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I like it. I like adults.

[Tom Segura]

And this is. This is more youthful.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That is more of like a boy. Yeah, he's more of a boy there.

[Tom Segura]

And you want that man?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He went from men's to boys. Yeah, he went from men to boys or something like that. Whatever.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah, you like men? Yeah, you like men? I like the movie.

[Tom Segura]

If I sat in her chair, she was like, what the man? You ain't got no hair. I know. What happened.

[Brent Weinbach]

What happened to you?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

She's kind of seen something in me that kind of was like, you should be a pup. And it was just. Honestly, it was the most amazing thing to know that. To tell my husband to be really vulnerable with my Husband about something, you know, basically saying, I'm about to show you my search history, which is effectively what I was doing. And he was like, yeah, yeah, no, that. That tracks. Yeah, go for it. Let's do it. Let's go to the shop and get one. You know? And it was like, that's amazing. And he very quickly said, I think you should make videos. Because. Because he said, like, you need to see yourself doing this. And he made a few videos of me just kind of in the house, just sort of snaffling around. Like, you know, like, I was like this. Just around, you know, I was sort of muzzling around stuff, discovering how to. And he said, like, I'm gonna film this. I'm gonna make a video. Yeah, boy. Attaboy. That's an attaboy right there. That's what you call an attaboy.

[Tom Segura]

Good top. Sorry.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You see?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Wow.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

As somebody who. As somebody who doesn't like pets, I would maybe be a little more into this.

[Tom Segura]

This would be your pet?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, just because I feel like you can kind of. You know. I don't. I feel like this requires less maintenance than a pet. And it's not gonna shed as much.

[Tom Segura]

But you still gotta be a good owner.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You gotta be a good owner. But it's not. You're not gonna get. It's not gonna shed as much. You can also.

[Tom Segura]

You can train two different things, and.

[Brent Weinbach]

It shits in the toilet.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, that's better. And then also. So its butt is probably wiped. And it's not just getting their dirty, unwiped butt on stuff such as furniture and so forth, you know, and so if a woman kind of knows what's up with that? That could work.

[Tom Segura]

That could work. We have a.

[Brent Weinbach]

Hold on, though. Not a lot of women are into pub play. I don't think I've seen one woman.

[Tom Segura]

You don't think this is actually exclusively 100% male?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, that's the weirdest. Especially when they put their tails in.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

She wouldn't want to. Now, the tail. Wouldn't that go inside the.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it does.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, it does. It goes inside the bug.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's how you get it. It's a real big day for the.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Pups when they get their tails.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Anytime a puppy barks, a gimp gets his tail.

[Tom Segura]

That's right.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Something like that. That's the saying. I think it's a. It's a wonderful gimp. Look. Like Demi Moore, kind of. It will be.

[Brent Weinbach]

No.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No.

[Brent Weinbach]

Satanic church in my hill Del Cero.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

There will be no.

[Brent Weinbach]

8 story complex. Apartment complex in Del Cero.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, no.

[Tom Segura]

Eyes on the road.

[Brent Weinbach]

She's driving. Yep.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, is there gonna be an accident happening?

[Tom Segura]

I thought there was. No, this.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It kind of looked like Demi Moore a little bit.

[Brent Weinbach]

No, she's pretty. She's really.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You don't think Demi Moore, though.

[Brent Weinbach]

I could be her. I don't know.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I think that could be Timmy Moore.

[Brent Weinbach]

Could be. Could be making some cool tick tocks.

[Tom Segura]

You just reminded me that there could have been an accident, so I got something to show you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, poo poo time.

[Tom Segura]

No, it's basically horrible or hilarious.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, really?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. You just tell me whether you think it's funny or not.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I thought there was gonna be some. Oh, boy.

[Brent Weinbach]

No, thanks.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I mean, I guess if nobody got hurt.

[Tom Segura]

That guy's definitely hurt. He's real hurt. Bad.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Really?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Maybe if he was. Was not wearing pants. Hilarious.

[Tom Segura]

Yes. That would have been fun.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Right now. Horrible.

[Tom Segura]

Pretty horrible.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

But if he was wearing. If he was protecting himself kind of Amazon style.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Then that's hilarious.

[Tom Segura]

He hit the. Out of that guy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's kind of pretty horrible, I would have to say. I think. What did I say? Horrible? You think it was horrible?

[Tom Segura]

Horrible, yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Horrible. Yeah.

[Brent Weinbach]

I hate it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Okay, if.

[Tom Segura]

This is hilarious, her reaction's hilarious.

[Brent Weinbach]

Well, I hate this. This is just human suffering.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I get this. If it is. It's not. It is horrible. If he did ejaculate when that happened and he was into it, then it's. Then it maybe is hilarious.

[Tom Segura]

Yes, yes. He should have had a seatbelt on.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know what?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it was horrible. That's what the lesson is.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It was horrible.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. All right, one more. You might like this one, Gene.

[Brent Weinbach]

I won't. Oh, no. Oh, no. I don't like it.

[Tom Segura]

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

[Brent Weinbach]

Off, off.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That was the. That was the easiest one, though. Compared to the other ones, right? I mean, that was the easiest.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I mean, for us, you know. For you, Right? Easiest, right? Hey, I hear you. You know, but they used to show this stuff every week on America's Funniest Videos.

[Brent Weinbach]

I know. That's so true.

[Tom Segura]

They always laugh.

[Brent Weinbach]

I'd be like, that guy's got one.

[Tom Segura]

Foot on the gas.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

People would love it. Right? And it was this kind of stuff. It really was Bob Saget. Hey, you know what? Remember America's Funniest People?

[Tom Segura]

Funniest People.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. Dave Coulier.

[Brent Weinbach]

That's right.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You remember that?

[Tom Segura]

No.

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah. Stupid. Same stupid shit.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, it was. But it was people, though. It was less this kind of stuff and it was more people based.

[Tom Segura]

I like this stuff.

[Brent Weinbach]

I don't like this.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You like it?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, I had the America's Funniest Home Video game. Home game.

[Tom Segura]

The home game?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, I got it for Christmas.

[Tom Segura]

What's the game?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You watch a videotape with the clips, and then you have to answer questions about the clips, you know, so, you know, they'll ask you questions such as, okay, when the guy got hit in the balls, was it his left ball or right ball?

[Brent Weinbach]

Seriously, something.

[Tom Segura]

Something like that.

[Brent Weinbach]

But like that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Something like that. Drinking your own period blood now I.

[Brent Weinbach]

Am drinking my own moon blood. It's rich in stem cells, iron, nutrients.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, she calls it.

[Brent Weinbach]

I started back when I was training tantra in Thailand, and it's a ritual we do. We believe there's power in it, there's stem cells in it, there's iron, there's vitality.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And so we don't want to lose that.

[Brent Weinbach]

So for the average person, I'd probably say, don't do it, because people are going to say, that's we. But no, blood is Life. Right? And Dr. Group and I have these common conversations. It's good that I took a little pause. He actually said during my giving birth and breastfeeding, it's good. But now I'm back on it. Wow, I feel great. And the mood blend actually tastes kind of sweet.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You just drink it straight up.

[Brent Weinbach]

I just.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I have my moon cup. I just sit back.

[Brent Weinbach]

I'm not even joking. It's like a shot.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

She can get put. She puts salt on it, you know, salt in it maybe, or I guess it's salty already, I guess.

[Brent Weinbach]

No, she said it's sweet.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, it is sweet.

[Brent Weinbach]

You want to put salt to counteract. Nayana, are you gonna drink your moon blood?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, thank you.

[Brent Weinbach]

No, thank you. You just have your moon cup in and then you pull the cup out.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And just besides being a moon drinker or whatever, did she do other stuff in her life?

[Tom Segura]

This is the big highlight of her life. How about you? Are you a moon guy?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You mean drink blood?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, I am a creature of the.

[Tom Segura]

Night, but I mean, like, if a lady's on her, you know, will you. Will you go down there and laugh it up?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I mean, I couldn't imagine I would ever. I.

[Tom Segura]

You're a germaphobe.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

If I. If I ever did. If I ever was engaged. No, I probably wouldn't want to drink any blood. Yeah, I am. I am up late, though. I've been to Romania. I've been to Transylvania.

[Tom Segura]

You have?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I did. I went to Dracula's castle.

[Brent Weinbach]

Oh, cool. And.

[Tom Segura]

Mm.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

There was a bat tour there and I was really into it.

[Tom Segura]

Did you feel the energy?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Actually, the Dracula's castle? It doesn't. It doesn't. It's not like a haunted castle or anything. It looks like a via. It looks like a via. It's in Bran, if you want to look it up. It's in Bran.

[Brent Weinbach]

Branson, Missouri.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, Branson, Missouri. You've been to Branson, Missouri? They have it. That's where. That's where the Dracula's castles. It looks like just a via or something. It looks not.

[Tom Segura]

It doesn't look like Bran Castle.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, these pictures make it look a little more, you know, kind of Dracula esque, but it's not. It wasn't really when I went there, at least. Who knows, Maybe they did it. Up, up. I went there a long time ago. I went there, you know, 25. You have ever been there?

[Brent Weinbach]

You know what? It's on my list.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That should be a place that I want to do.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that should be where you.

[Brent Weinbach]

It's in Romania.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, yeah, it's in. It's in Brazov or near Brazhov, which is that. That's kind of like the provincial capital. It's like the Transylvanian kind of.

[Tom Segura]

It's got to be a huge tourist.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You've heard of Brazzers, right? That's where they're. That's their headquarters. Headquarters. They. No, it's. I went there a long time ago and yeah, I went to Bran. And I also went to Rajnov, which is near there as well. But, you know, I was just trying to get back to my roots, you know?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Cuz, you know, my dad is Romanian. I mean, not from Romania. But it's funny you say Missouri, because he's actually from Missouri.

[Tom Segura]

Ivan the Terrible. Isn't that Ivan?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Ivan. Vlad the Impaler. Vlad the Impaler.

[Tom Segura]

I'm thinking of the guy from Ghostbusters.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's Vigo. That's Vigo the. There he is. Yeah, that's Vlad. That's the original Dracula right there.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, Vladimir.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know, he had that mustache and everything.

[Tom Segura]

He was a big goofball Turk, right? Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, he does look kind of goofy.

[Brent Weinbach]

Wait, where's Vlad from? He's not a Turkish.

[Tom Segura]

Isn't he Romanian?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He must have been Romanian. I would think.

[Brent Weinbach]

Romania.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. I gotta get back on a better schedule though, because I'm too. I stay up too long. How Late.

[Tom Segura]

Do you stay up?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Sometimes six.

[Brent Weinbach]

Oh.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Or sometimes nine.

[Brent Weinbach]

What are you doing regularly?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Sometimes, but I want. Ideally, I'd go to bed at 2 or 3.

[Tom Segura]

God damn. What time do you get up usually?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Ideally, I would get up at 10 or 11. You know, ideally. Why do you guys get up early in the morning?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, we can't go to bed.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I guess you have kids. But I mean, come on, as a ex goth, you. You ought to be waking up late.

[Brent Weinbach]

I would be nocturnal if I could. I. It's just the kids wake you up, man. Crack it down. I hate it. That's the worst part of being a parent is waking up because you can't be Goth anymore.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You can't be Goth.

[Brent Weinbach]

That's the only problem. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Here you go.

[Brent Weinbach]

All right, one more, one more. Let's wrap it up. Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

The moment you've all been waiting for. It's the hotel room tour. So this is one of my favorite hotels in Rasan. Actually, it's the best hotel.

[Brent Weinbach]

This is in North Korea.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And one of the things that makes.

[Tom Segura]

It super fun and super cool is how retro it is.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay. I remember the first time I came to Rason, I stayed in this place. You can see here.

[Tom Segura]

This lamp has got to be the best feature.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Look at the colors. Excellent. And you can hear it tick, tick, ticking away.

[Brent Weinbach]

A lamp, a clock, all in one.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Let's not make it fall over. So we have some beds which are. Yep. I don't know if you heard me.

[Brent Weinbach]

Sit down on that, but it's very hard.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Did she say rock hard or. You said that. China.

[Brent Weinbach]

And in Korea.

[Tom Segura]

My second favorite thing in here has.

[Brent Weinbach]

Got to be this chair.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's a lot comfier than the bed.

[Brent Weinbach]

I have to say, and has excellent decoration.

[Tom Segura]

But this in front of me, this.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I promise you, this is quite cool.

[Brent Weinbach]

So we have.

[Tom Segura]

A nice window that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You can open all the way out. Leads right out to Rasan city, the.

[Brent Weinbach]

Empty city of North Korean.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That reminds me of some sterile kind of environments that I've been to that.

[Tom Segura]

You probably would like.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And this in some ways, yes, that is a tv plays things at night.

[Tom Segura]

That's the hotel.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's beautiful.

[Brent Weinbach]

Can't stretch out too much here.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, you can see the reflection. Bathroom.

[Brent Weinbach]

Let's close that window because it is freezing cold.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Luckily, the heating in here is really good.

[Brent Weinbach]

No, it's not.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Let's have a look.

[Brent Weinbach]

I can't.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

The bathroom, very simple.

[Brent Weinbach]

We've got a shower here with running water. Running hot water.

[Tom Segura]

I should say.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

She just taught Me that I have.

[Brent Weinbach]

To press this green button.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

This reminds me of somewhere I went.

[Brent Weinbach]

And it's just like a walk in shower. Yeah, this is like communists Hungary.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, I've been to this 90s. I've been to these communist places.

[Tom Segura]

You have?

[Brent Weinbach]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I went. I went to Russia and I went to China from the.

[Brent Weinbach]

And Ukraine Dental hygiene supply, which felt.

[Tom Segura]

Like the most otherworldly view.

[Brent Weinbach]

Maybe some of these kind of.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, and a hair dryer. I mean, what do you mean by that?

[Tom Segura]

You know, like the mo. Like this is an antiquated. We head out kind of dystopian place.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

North Korea, the most sterile looking kind of of. Well, actually Romania had a very. It was just building after building the same building, you know, Communist. Yeah, that's communist style. Yeah, there was. The square in Ukraine was. In Kiev was very. It would look like it reminded me of that. Actually China though to Beijing was kind of reminded me of that.

[Tom Segura]

Beijing did.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

Really?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. Kind of near Tiananmen Square. Yeah, it looked. It kind of looked like that, you know. And in fact, I would say when I went to Russia that felt less like. Although the bathrooms reminded me of Russia, you know. But yeah, I kind of went to all those places, you know, and I kind of really lived it up.

[Tom Segura]

I bet you did.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, I lived it up because things were kind of cheap when I was there. At least I started the whole conflict there, you know, between Ukraine.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, man, you always.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's still. Still going, you know. Mr.

[Tom Segura]

Pants was just here. Well, make sure you check out Brent's new special Popular Culture. It is out right now on YouTube. He is absolutely hilarious. Give it a watch. Share it. Tell your friends. Get the views up.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Let's get them up, guys. I mean, come on. I tried to sell this thing to a streamer. Nobody took it. So let's show them.

[Tom Segura]

Let's show what's up.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Let's show them, you know, let's show them what they missed out on, you know what I mean? Let's get the views up on this thing. I cover all the hot pop culture topics.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Michael Jackson, Matt Damon. Yeah, you know, you name it, you.

[Tom Segura]

Know you're fucking doing it, man.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's all. All that relevant stuff that you want to talk about.

[Tom Segura]

Congratulations on it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Thank you.

[Tom Segura]

And thank you for coming in today, man.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Thank you so much for having me. And again, apologies to Fleshlight and apologies to all your sponsors for the lack of views on this episode. And look, thank you for. I hope you did follow directions and be out of Good boys.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And watch it before finishing the rest of this episode. Now you're back for the victory lap, because now we don't. If you didn't like the episode with me on it, big whoop. You already saw the special. Your. Your services are no longer needed.

[Tom Segura]

No longer needed. And. And by the way, flashlight. You're welcome. Thank you guys for watching. Thank you for listening. We'll see you next week.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Bye. Bless all you is bless.

[Tom Segura]

God bless all you is Bless all.

[Brent Weinbach]

You is bless God bless.

[Tom Segura]

God bless. God bless.