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Jackie Danziger
We've got a special treat for you this week. Not just a regular audiobook, but a full cast audio production brimming with rich sound design, snappy dialogue and some swoon worthy romance. Know youw Newlywed is a Simon and Schuster original audiobook, which means it is only available in audio format and it is as fresh as the newly fallen snow this time of year. And if that kind of language sounds cheesy to you, you need to buck, grab some cocoa and get into the holiday spirit because this is extremely fun. The cast is led by Mary Mouser, star of Cobra Kai on Netflix, playing Cleo, a perpetually single, lovably nerdy 20 something trying to save up for a PhD program in anthrozoology. She happens to be obsessed with a 90s game show called Know youw Newlywed, her ultimate comfort watch since she was a kid. On a girls trip to Chicago with her married, pregnant best friend Hannah, Cleo matches on a dating app with Javi, played by Tyler Posey of Teen Wolf, whose profile says he is equally big fan of the show. The two hit it off and in perfect rom com fashion. Soon a reboot of Know youw Newlywed is announced and in even more perfect rom com fashion, Cleo and Javi decide they should apply to go on the show and pretend to be newlyweds. Fake relationships are one of my favorite tropes. Shove two adorable singles together and watch the sparks fly. And the best part is of course, wondering how their secret will ultimately get out. Look, there's a reason why Hallmark movies have an unshakable hold on the hearts, minds and airwaves of America every holiday season. Between the mistletoe and going home for the holidays, there's just something in the air this time of year that causes us to suspend any sense of disbelief and get swept up in the cute story of two likable people and their mishaps and their schemes and of course, their smooches. Know your newlywed totally satisfies your expectations. It may be a bit predictable, but it is fast paced and charming enough to make your plane ride home to see your relatives or your long ride through winter weather. Speed by and the entire audiobook is only about five hours long for those of you scrambling to hit your end of year reading goals. The story is written by Heather Taylor and Hilary Nussbaum, an executive produced by Elena Armas, the bestselling author of the Spanish Love Deception and the American Roommate Experiment. In this excerpt we'll be sharing with you today, you'll hear Cleo And Javi, first connect over dating app messages. And of course, you'll have to keep listening to see what happens to them next.
Mary Mouser
Chapter one, A shot at Love.
Tyler Posey
Okay, Mark, you have ten seconds left to answer. You look nervous, but I have faith in you. What animal did your wife say you most identify with?
Mark
That's a hard one. A horse.
Tyler Posey
We've got a stallion in the studio. And why do you say that?
Mark
Cause I work hard and I'm handsome.
Tyler Posey
Let's see if he's right. Oh, sorry, Mark. Molly said you're most like a squirrel.
Mark
A squirrel?
Hannah
Because you're always saving up. You know, making money and squirreling it away.
Tyler Posey
Too bad, Mark. But don't worry, you're still going home with this brand new toaster oven. Thanks so much for joining us today, Mark and Molly. After these messages, we'll see if Dwayne and Carla have what it takes to win our grand prize, a sub zero refrigerator. Stay tuned for more. Know you're newlywed.
Cleo
You see, Hannah, Mark totally let his insecurity get the better of him. I bet Molly says he's squirreling away their money all the time when they're at home.
Hannah
Whatever you say, Cleo.
Cleo
What?
Hannah
I know your superpower is observing behavior, but I can only take so much scientific analysis of a cheesy 90s game show.
Cleo
Oh, come on. You've got to admit, it's pretty cool that you can see exactly how things will turn out based on a facial expression and some body language.
Hannah
Can you read my body language?
Cleo
Crossed arms, thin lips. I'm thinking you're getting annoyed.
Hannah
You think?
Cleo
I bet you and Louis would have won this show hands down.
Hannah
Really?
Cleo
Of course. You two are the perfect couple, and you're basically in each other's heads. Plus, he's really calm under pressure.
Hannah
I bet he wouldn't even care if his flight was delayed and he was forced to watch ancient TV game shows for hours.
Cleo
It's a great show, but fine. If you want, we can try find your lizard again. Dr. McGee is so cool. If only I could make myself science talk account as interesting as her whole finding a hidden lizard bit.
Hannah
I think I've had enough science for today. And, oh, the baby is kicking up a storm. Maybe he's tired of know you're newlywed, too.
Cleo
Okay, okay, I get the hint.
Hannah
I did deliver it like a sledgehammer.
Cleo
This show calms me, that's all.
Hannah
I know, but it's stressing me out.
Cleo
We could walk around a bit before they call our flight.
Hannah
I've got a baby Playing a soccer match with my insides and two swollen feet. I think I'm done walking. If this flight keeps getting pushed back, we could just get a room for the night and see if we can fly out tomorrow instead. I die for some room service.
Cleo
Can we wait a little longer before we call it? I don't want you to be uncomfortable, but I don't have any more money to put toward this trip. You know I'm saving every penny for.
Hannah
My dream PhD program. I know. It's fine. I guess I'll survive. Sorry.
Cleo
Ha. Anything else I can do to make it up to you?
Hannah
Ooh, I know. You could fire up one of your dating apps.
Cleo
We're in Chicago. What's the point? I'm not gonna get into a long distance relationship all the way from Boston.
Hannah
I know that. Just for fun, I live vicariously through your nearly non existent dating life. Help a very married, very pregnant friend out well, and who knows what interesting behaviors you can observe from your potential matches. Are the men in Chicago really that different from the men in Boston? What is their body language telling us?
Cleo
That's a scarily accurate imitation of me.
Hannah
So what do you say?
Cleo
Fine. Let's take a look. Okay, so this first guy looks fine. George, 29, likes dogs, sunsets and hikes.
Hannah
Boring. Who's next?
Cleo
Wait, maybe there's more here. I have to read the whole profile. Are you kidding?
Hannah
Give me the phone. You're too slow. This one has too many selfies. Total red flag. Pass. This guy is definitely in the gym. 24. 7. Pass tech, bro. Nope. Ooh. How about this guy? His name is Javier Javi for short. He's clean cut. I do love a thick, dark head of hair. Just imagine running your hands through it. Ooh, and piercing blue eyes. He's 28. Perfect. And, oh, my God, you won't believe this. He's, and I quote, looking for someone I'd win. Know you're newlywed with.
Cleo
You're joking.
Hannah
No. It's right here. See?
Cleo
Whoa. That's so weird.
Hannah
Weird? More like fate kismet. It's John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale in Serendipity. Yes. You have to swipe right. You're made for each other, Hannah.
Cleo
This was just supposed to be for fun. I'm not actually going to talk to the guy.
Hannah
Come on.
Cleo
What are the odds that you're gonna.
Hannah
Find someone else who's also obsessed with an Artifact of the 90s?
Cleo
Okay, okay. Swipe right.
Hannah
Done. Now, who else is there?
Mary Mouser
Whoa.
Hannah
That was fast. Yep. I knew it. It's a match.
Cleo
Really?
Hannah
Already? Talk to him.
Cleo
What am I gonna say?
Hannah
Start with hey. Nice profile.
Cleo
That sounds creepy. I'll say hey. And he said hey.
Hannah
That's a start.
Cleo
What now? Oh, wait, he's typing. What brings your boss Tony to Chicago? It's my friend's last hurrah before her baby comes. So we're on a girls trip.
Mary Mouser
Fine. So a friend. Baby Moon. Are those a thing?
Cleo
Only for us? I think.
Mary Mouser
I don't see why best friends don't get more rituals. I'd love a friendiversary dinner every year.
Cleo
You should do it. Hannah and I celebrate Galentine's Day.
Mary Mouser
Yes. Palantine's Day. Done. So, did you two like Chicago?
Cleo
Yeah, Chicago was amazing.
Hannah
Now ask him his favorite place. Like where he'd take you on a date.
Cleo
No, I have to ask. Why know you're newlywed?
Hannah
Of course. Even when I want you to flirt, it all comes back to that show he answered. And?
Mary Mouser
Ah, that.
Cleo
You know it. Know it. It's only my favorite show. How did you get into it?
Mary Mouser
My sister Sophia was obsessed when we were growing up and there was only one TV in the house, so.
Cleo
Oh, no. Did she ever let you control the remote?
Mary Mouser
Yeah, we took turns. You know, she'd get to watch one rerun episode, and then I'd get to watch my favorite show, South Park.
Cleo
You took turns? Very diplomatic.
Mary Mouser
Less diplomacy, more parental oversight. How do you know about Know youw're Newlywed?
Cleo
It's my mom's favorite show. When I was a kid, I had night terrors, and me and my mom would watch reruns she taped.
Mary Mouser
Ah. Sorry about the night terrors, but that is the perfect show for late night viewing.
Cleo
Thanks. It's so soothing. I still watch it to relax.
Mary Mouser
Something about that theme song just puts you at ease. Even though everyone on the show was definitely secretly freaking out. Or not so secretly.
Cleo
100%. My mom loved it for the romance, but I actually think people's quirks are way more interesting. Not just what they answer, but how they answer.
Mary Mouser
Lots of nervous giggles. I think you can only get on the show if you're a giggler.
Cleo
Or if your cheeks get three shades redder when you blush.
Mary Mouser
Yes. Or you stumble over your words.
Cleo
Exactly. The way they act under pressure. That's probably what made me want to pursue behavioral studies.
Mary Mouser
Is that what you do now?
Cleo
Sort of. When I was in college, I took a class on human animal interactions and was fascinated by the impact each had on the other's behavior. So to bridge the gap between Biological and social sciences. My dream is to get my PhD in Anthrozoology.
Hannah
Whoa, are you typing out a novel over there? You're supposed to be flirting.
Cleo
Oh yeah, I get a little excited.
Hannah
You think maybe this messaging is more than a little fun for you?
Cleo
I said too much, didn't I? What if he thinks I'm a nerd?
Hannah
You are a nerd. A lovable one.
Cleo
He still hasn't responded.
Hannah
Just wait a minute. He might be in the middle of something.
Cleo
He answered.
Mary Mouser
Hold on a second.
Cleo
I'll be right back.
Javi
Javi, do we have to take your phone away from you?
Mary Mouser
What do you mean, Sam? I'm playing, aren't I?
Javi
Barely. You've been on your phone non stop. You promised you wouldn't work tonight.
Louis
I for one don't mind.
Javi
Only cause you're winning, Winston.
Mary Mouser
Guys, it's not work.
Javi
It's a girl from an app. Let me see. Chestnut hair, hazel eyes. Yep, definitely looks like your type.
Mary Mouser
I don't have a type.
Mark
Uh huh.
Louis
Will you actually meet her this time?
Mary Mouser
It's not my fault I haven't had luck on the apps. The conversation always fizzles out before we go on a date.
Louis
Uh huh.
Javi
How about you stop messaging some random girl and play? We can't lose to Winston and Derek again.
Louis
Like I said, I don't mind.
Mary Mouser
Just let me say goodbye and I'll put my phone away.
Louis
Good idea. Sam looks like he's going to explode.
Mary Mouser
Sorry about that. I'm at a game night and my team is not happy that I'm tanking our chances of winning by flirting with a cute match from a dating app.
Cleo
Gotta keep your head in the game. And thanks. I think you're cute too.
Hannah
Passengers of Delta Flight 1671 to Boston, boarding is about to begin. Finally. Let's go. Line up.
Cleo
Actually, I have a flight to catch, so cute or not, I have to abandon all messaging anyway for now.
Mary Mouser
Talk to you later.
Hannah
Hurry up.
Cleo
Coming. Okay, he said he was flirting with me and that I'm cute, so I think we're good.
Hannah
Lovable nerd. See, but I thought it didn't matter anyway. He lives in Chicago.
Cleo
I mean, it's still good to know I'm lovable.
Hannah
Mm. You know, I'm sad this trip is really over.
Cleo
You said you couldn't wait to get home.
Hannah
I couldn't wait to leave the airport. But the trip I could have done with a few more days home. Means we're back to real life.
Cleo
You mean real life is a very pregnant woman chasing after an 11 month old.
Hannah
Exactly. You want to come over and help me this week? I'm sure Nova misses Auntie Cleo already.
Cleo
Of course. I miss her too. And I'm also glad we could do this. It kind of reminded me of the road trips we'd take during college breaks.
Hannah
Except the hotels and meals are way better now.
Cleo
Fast food and roadside motels have their charm, but yes. Thank goodness for Lewis's hotel points.
Hannah
I'll let him know that you appreciated the upgrade.
Cleo
Ah, finally home. I didn't realize Boston guys were so active on here. Not bad. Hey. So how was the rest of game night?
Mary Mouser
Hey. Unfortunately, I started to lose while we were texting and I did not recover.
Cleo
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
Mary Mouser
Not your fault. I'm not great at the take over the world kind of strategy games. Word games are more my thing.
Cleo
Like what?
Mary Mouser
Like Taboo or code names.
Cleo
Oh, I'd love a good round of code names. Probably not surprising, but the games where team dynamics matter are definitely more my thing.
Mary Mouser
I can see how you'd have an unfair advantage there. I bet you'd crush it on know you're newlywed.
Cleo
I wish I'd just have to get married and then invent a time machine.
Mary Mouser
Let's say you did get to play. Do you think you'd win? Are you attuned to your partner's vibes?
Cleo
I study behavior, so vibes are kind of my thing.
Mary Mouser
Hopefully only the good ones.
Cleo
I think these vibes are good so far.
Mary Mouser
You think so?
Cleo
Definitely. In my expert opinion.
Mary Mouser
Hey, you're the one who knows best. But for the record, in my not so expert opinion, I agree.
Cleo
Well, then it looks like we're on the same page. Better than some of those couples on the show.
Tyler Posey
Oof.
Mary Mouser
Yeah.
Cleo
I think winning is about more than vibes, though. It really comes down to how secure the couple feels. The ones that lose put too much pressure on themselves.
Mary Mouser
Seriously, Only on Know youw're Newlywed do people cry that much over a toaster?
Cleo
Yeah, but that's because it's never really about the toaster. It's about how well the couple knows each other. They don't want to fail a test about their relationship, so they get distracted by their worries and choke.
Mary Mouser
Totally. If I were competing, I'd take the pressure off and treat it like a fun adventure. A story to tell the grandkids one day.
Cleo
Exactly. Don't overthink it. No one knows everything about their partner. Even in the healthiest relationships, you have to take ego and pride out of the equation and just have fun so.
Mary Mouser
What do you do for fun? Other than binge reruns of her favorite show?
Cleo
That's my only hobby. Do I need another one?
Mary Mouser
Well, then I admire your commitment to your passion.
Cleo
I'm kidding, of course. I like running. I love hanging with my friend's kid. She's adorable. I do crossword puzzles. I follow baseball. You?
Mary Mouser
Oh, I'm a baseball fan, too. And I love game nights. Of course.
Cleo
But only the right kind of games.
Mary Mouser
Exactly. But mostly, yeah, I cook.
Cleo
Oh, I wish I had something home cooked right now. That airplane food.
Mary Mouser
I'll whip something up next time you have a late flight into Chicago.
Cleo
I'd like that. Anyway, speaking of late, it's been a long day. I'm exhausted.
Mary Mouser
Of course you must be. You just got off a plane.
Cleo
I'm going to bed. But I can't wait to hear more about what you'd hypothetically cook me.
Mary Mouser
Tomorrow.
Cleo
Tomorrow. Good night.
Mary Mouser
Night.
Mark
Mommy. Mommy.
Hannah
Mommy. Look. Look.
Cleo
Barely 24 hours and here we are again. Together.
Hannah
It's Nova. She missed you.
Cleo
Good thing you could join me on my break. I'm always up for instilling a love of animals in my goddaughter.
Hannah
Nova is 11 months old. I hate to break it to you, but I don't think she understands anything you're telling her.
Cleo
But she loves the lions. Don't you, Nova?
Hannah
How are things going here? Still not getting enough time with the lemurs?
Cleo
Not even close. I still like the work, but I'm not sure this job is what I imagined it would be. And it might not be as good for my PhD applications as I thought.
Hannah
It's really that competitive?
Cleo
Oh, yeah. Mainly because it's a newer field and not as many schools offer PhDs. I was really hoping my Science Talk account would help me stand out from the other applicants, but my follower count is abysmal. Not even my mom will follow me.
Hannah
Since when have you been so dramatic? My normally level headed friend would remember that her mom doesn't even know what TikTok is. She can barely text, I guess. And you've been working so hard on your videos. It just takes time for things to click.
Cleo
But I'm running out of time. I need to make my application stand out or I'll never get considered for the top programs.
Hannah
But you're so passionate. Who wouldn't want you?
Cleo
I wish passion was enough.
Hannah
Is that who I think it is?
Cleo
Maybe.
Hannah
Oh, my God. I knew you'd keep talking to him. Does this mean you and Javi may actually meet someday?
Cleo
No way. I like Him. But we live in different cities and who knows where I'll end up for school.
Hannah
Sure, but you have to admit you're having fun.
Cleo
Yes, and it may have inspired me to talk to some other guys, too. Ones who are actually in Boston.
Hannah
Oh, tell me more.
Cleo
Well, don't get too excited, but I have a date on Friday.
Hannah
What? With who? I want all the details.
Cleo
Well, after we landed back home, I kept swiping and I matched with this guy Charlie. He seems pretty, I don't know, dateable, works in tv. He's cute, kind of funny. Maybe not as funny as Javi, but I don't want to judge too soon.
Hannah
So Javi is your bar? Like, on a scale of one to.
Cleo
Javi, I'm sure Charlie will be even better in person. At least he's in Boston.
Hannah
That's one point for him, I guess.
Cleo
Also, he seems way better than any of the duds my mom tries to set me up with.
Hannah
If only Javi were in Boston.
Cleo
If only.
Hannah
I'm still not sure about the final.
Cleo
Layout or the copy.
Hannah
Do we have time to make any last minute changes?
Cleo
Belinda, we have to stop tweaking or we'll never get it done.
Jackie Danziger
But we have to get it right.
Hannah
This is a major account for us.
Mary Mouser
And we will. We have one last internal feedback session tomorrow before it goes to the client for final sign off. So come with any changes and we'll make sure everyone gets what they need for a successful campaign.
Hannah
Great.
Mary Mouser
Sure. Perfect. I'll send around the launch schedule with next steps and we'll go from there.
Tyler Posey
Hey, Javi, can you move some things around in your schedule? I need to put you onto something new that's business critical.
Mary Mouser
Actually, I don't have the bandwidth for anything new right now, but I know Angelica has some time. Can you ask her?
Tyler Posey
Angelica's fine, but I need. Excellent. And that's you.
Mary Mouser
I understand.
Tyler Posey
But maybe if you take this on and can keep things running smoothly, I could look at giving you that promotion you've been asking for.
Mary Mouser
Really? And a raise, of course.
Tyler Posey
It's been on my mind since our last review and I think you could be ready for it. But it's a big leap. I need to see what you can do when the pressure's on.
Mary Mouser
Sure. Thank you. I'll see what I can shift to someone else on the team.
Tyler Posey
Great. There's a meeting with the client in an hour, so I'll need you to take a look right away. Carol will send you the specs we have. Oh, and make sure the deck isn't missing anything. I want to see some of that hobby magic.
Mary Mouser
Sure thing. I'm on it.
Tyler Posey
I knew I picked the guy for the job. Let's get this right.
Javi
Sounds like Hank just dropped another bomb.
Mary Mouser
When doesn't he? I hate working on projects Hank's lead on. I end up doing everything for him.
Javi
Then why do you always say yes? I'm surprised you're not burnt out yet.
Mary Mouser
I have to. He promised me a promotion.
Javi
Seriously?
Mary Mouser
If I do the project well.
Javi
Oh, that's not going to be a problem for a workaholic like you.
Mary Mouser
Tell my 10 other projects that.
Javi
Your problem is you're trying to please everyone. You don't even want to be a project manager, so why are you trying so hard to climb the ladder?
Mary Mouser
This is all temporary. I just need to save enough money to get my food truck up and running. If I get that raise, it will happen even faster.
Javi
Ah, of course. The mysterious food truck. When are we going to see what you're working on anyway? Are you still stuck on the menu?
Mary Mouser
Yeah, but I might be getting closer. Hey, why don't you come over on Friday and try out my latest idea?
Javi
You know me. I'll never turn down a free meal.
Mary Mouser
Great. Abuela said I could cook at her place since she has a kitchen bigger than the shoebox I live in.
Javi
Even better. You think she'll have any of those fancy little donuts?
Mary Mouser
Melendres? Probably. If not, she'll have something even better. Yes. I'll ping Winston. I'm sure he'd be mad if he found out we were taste testing.
Javi
Without him, the more opinions, the better. Right. We'll have our own little focus group. What are you all giddy over?
Mary Mouser
It's a panda doing a headstand.
Javi
Who's sending you animal pics?
Mary Mouser
Well, remember how distracted I was during our game night?
Javi
Yeah, I thought you said she lived in Boston.
Mary Mouser
She does, but she's smart and I like talking to her.
Javi
Ah, the perfect woman for a commitment phobe. One who lives a thousand miles away.
Mary Mouser
I'm not a commitment phobe. I just want to get my business sorted out before I settle down, that's all. So I have time to focus on the relationship.
Javi
Really?
Mary Mouser
Yes. And until then, everything serious is on hold. But in the meantime, panda pics are welcome. Now, let me get back to work. I have a new project to start and a menu to plan.
Javi
Can't wait to try it.
Louis
What's taking them so long?
Javi
You know you're cooking for a food truck, right? Not a Michelin star restaurant hey, I've.
Mary Mouser
Had some of the best meals of my life at food trucks. Can't hurry perfection.
Marisol
Shush, you two. We don't want him to get flustered and cut off any fingers.
Louis
Sorry, Marisol.
Mary Mouser
Okay, here we are. Ta da.
Louis
Uh, what exactly is this?
Mary Mouser
It's called sea and sky.
Javi
But why is the sauce so blue? It's pastel.
Mary Mouser
Well, I'm glad you asked. See, there's this new food innovation. No, no, it's good. I promise. E3 Live is like the new spirulina, and it's all the rage in the culinary world. It's kind of fishy, and the color made me think of the sky. So I made smoked salmon waffle triangles, the sea, and paired them with fluffy blue whipped cream, which is the sky.
Louis
Nope, I can't do it. I can't eat something that color.
Mary Mouser
Just taste it. It's good.
Javi
I swear, I eat with my eyes first, and my eyes say no.
Marisol
You tried, Misor. But maybe you need to stop chasing these trends.
Mary Mouser
I need a unique concept if anyone is going to take me seriously. Good food isn't enough. It's all about the angle.
Marisol
Why don't I get you boys some of my caldoga, Jego instead? It'll fill you right up. Pass me your dirty plates.
Mary Mouser
You need some help?
Marisol
Sit, sit. I have it covered.
Mary Mouser
Another concept down the drain.
Javi
What are you writing down?
Mary Mouser
Notes about what worked with this dish and what didn't.
Javi
Oh, so you think something worked?
Mary Mouser
Okay, okay. It's a disaster. But every failure can still inspire some new ideas.
Louis
Don't worry. You'll figure it out soon enough.
Javi
I'm just glad your grandma has something else cooking.
Louis
She always does. You're going to love this soup.
Mary Mouser
Mmm.
Louis
It has white beans, cabbage, and. What else? Javi?
Mary Mouser
She just got some Galician sausage from a cousin visiting from Spain.
Marisol
Hey, don't reveal the secret of my chorizo.
Javi
That's what smells so good. I'm starving.
Mary Mouser
Thank goodness for Abuela.
Javi
You're taking pictures of your food fails now?
Mary Mouser
I told Cleo I'd send her a picture.
Louis
Oh, that's still going on.
Mary Mouser
Shush.
Marisol
Three soups for my three boys.
Javi
Oh, this is delicious, Mrs. Godoy.
Marisol
Call me Marisol.
Javi
Remember, Marisol?
Louis
This soup takes me back. When I was a kid, I used to accidentally stay late whenever I came over to play with Javi, just so Marisol would invite me to join them for dinner.
Marisol
I knew your tricks.
Mary Mouser
Yeah, it was pretty obvious.
Louis
And it was worth it every time.
Marisol
And you know Javi can cook as well as I can. I taught him everything he knows. He'll make his food truck dreams come true eventually. Compane, Vino anda sil camino.
Mary Mouser
So you keep saying. I wouldn't mind if the good ideas could. Hurry up.
Javi
Ooh, wonder who that is.
Mary Mouser
Ah, Hank again. The micromanaging is out of control. Why do they say yes to that special project again?
Javi
Money. It's for the money.
Louis
One step closer to your food truck.
Mary Mouser
I can't wait to get out of that place. Let me see what he needs. How do you like my epic fail?
Cleo
It's not that bad.
Mary Mouser
I think there's a reason there aren't many blue dishes.
Cleo
Well, you'd be in business if your clientele were unicorns.
Mary Mouser
My friends wouldn't even taste the dish at this rate. I could use some magic to get me my food truck. Those unicorns do that for me? They'll eat free for life.
Cleo
If I were there, I'd give it a try.
Mary Mouser
Really? I had a feeling you might be a unicorn, too.
Cleo
I'm undercover. Sh. Don't tell anyone. Okay.
Mark
Cleo.
Cleo
Oh, hey, Charlie.
Mark
That's me. Hope you don't mind the patio. I thought it'd be perfect for happy hours since it's still nice out.
Cleo
Sure. This is great.
Mark
Let me get the waiter. Yo, waiter. You are gonna love this place. Oh, so many great appies.
Cleo
Great.
Mark
Is there anything you don't eat?
Cleo
I'm good with most things. Is there a menu I could.
Mark
No, I got it. I got it. Trust me.
Cleo
Can I help you?
Mark
Yeah, we'll have the misto fromaggio with prosciutto and the tuna crudo to start.
Cleo
And to drink?
Mark
I'll have a glass of the Brancaya, and she'll have.
Cleo
Peroni would be great. Thank you.
Hannah
Coming right up.
Mark
You know, I've actually been to Italy four times. Ah. I go all the time. If I could. This place isn't as good as what you get in a piazza in Rome, of course, but it's the best we'll get in Boston.
Cleo
Wow. Thanks for the tip. So, do you travel a lot?
Mark
When I can, but I'm so busy with work these days.
Cleo
You work in tv, right?
Hannah
Yep.
Mark
Yep, television. Mostly unscripted. Lately. I've worked on a few documentary series, but all that seems to get greenlit these days are reality formats or old game shows. No one wants anything original anymore.
Cleo
Your Peroni and the Brancaya. Thanks.
Mark
Cheers.
Cleo
Cheers.
Mark
The wine is delicious. You should totally get a glass for your next drink. You can get a Peroni Anywhere.
Cleo
Oh, I just.
Mark
Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get this. These networks have been going through the archives to pull out some really obscure shows. The latest reboot I heard about is that old cheese fest about newlyweds competing for toasters or whatever.
Cleo
Know your newlywed?
Mark
Yeah, yeah, that's the one.
Cleo
That's incredible. What do you know about the reboot?
Mark
Oh, a lot, actually. My friend in Chicago is the casting director. They do an outreach through wedding vendors to find recently married couples, and they just posted an application form on the knot. He asked if he should put in a good word for me to produce or whatever, and I was like, no way. It's so lame. And I bet it's a hundred percent.
Cleo
Scripted from the reactions of the couples. I very much doubt that.
Mark
What do you mean?
Cleo
It's really hard to fake body language and tone of voice like that. Unless they're extremely talented actors or psychopaths. And less than 1% of the population meets that criteria. I doubt they could run a show for a decade with either scenario.
Mark
I can't believe you've watched it. It was way before our time.
Cleo
It's only my favorite show. Which you might have known if you had stopped talking or asked me any questions. Thanks for the intel, though. Here's 10 for the drink. Hope you enjoy the app. Oh, my God. You won't believe what just happened.
Mary Mouser
Cleo, are you okay?
Cleo
Yeah, everything's fine. Why?
Mary Mouser
You're calling me. We've never talked on the phone before.
Cleo
Oh, yeah, right. Sorry. I. I got excited and I just called. I. I didn't even think.
Mary Mouser
That's okay. It's nice to hear your voice.
Cleo
Yours, too. Is it what you imagined?
Mary Mouser
I expected something a little more Boston.
Cleo
Like the movies, Like I parked my car or how do you like them apples, maybe. Well, you don't sound very Chicago.
Mary Mouser
Trust me, no one really talks like Richie from the Bear.
Cleo
Some people do. I was just there, remember?
Mary Mouser
Touche. So, what's going on?
Cleo
Right. I was out with this guy.
Mary Mouser
Oh, yeah.
Cleo
It's nothing, really. Nothing. It was this guy who works on tv, and he told me they're rebooting. No. You're newlywed.
Mary Mouser
No way. For real?
Cleo
Yeah. Isn't that wild? I wish we could compete.
Mary Mouser
Maybe we could. If it were a new version called know your cute smart dating app, match who you can't stop texting but haven't met because you don't live in the.
Cleo
Same state, we would totally win that one. But I wonder how much competition there'd be.
Mary Mouser
Oh, you think it's too specific?
Cleo
Just a tiny bit. But our strategy would be foolproof. What a shame.
Mary Mouser
Well, what if we just applied anyway?
Cleo
To be on the show?
Javi
Yeah.
Mary Mouser
Why not?
Cleo
One obvious reason. Do we have to tell them that we're not married?
Mary Mouser
Maybe we can just let them assume. What do we have to do to apply?
Cleo
I haven't looked. Let me pull up the application. Looks like it's just a few simple questions. Name, email, and our favorite thing about being newlyweds.
Mary Mouser
That's all?
Cleo
That's all. Oh, and it's filming in Chicago. Can you believe it?
Mary Mouser
What? It's serendipity.
Cleo
Yeah, serendipity.
Hannah
Should we do it?
Mary Mouser
I'm in. We shouldn't second guess a stroke of luck. Win or lose, it'll be a great story.
Cleo
One for the grandkids.
Mary Mouser
The ones you'll share with that guy that you were just out with.
Cleo
Wouldn't you like to know?
Mary Mouser
I would, actually.
Cleo
Are you dreaming of having little. Wait, I. I don't even know your name.
Mary Mouser
It's Javi.
Cleo
No, no, your last name.
Mary Mouser
Ugh. Godoy. G O, D, O, Y.
Cleo
Right. You thinking of little Godoys running around, then?
Mary Mouser
Is that a question on the application?
Cleo
No, but it could be if we get in. Now that I have your name and mine, I'll put my email address. And what should I put for a favorite thing about being newlyweds? Oh, how's having Javi cook for me?
Mary Mouser
I would definitely do that, but I think it should be an answer that works for the both of us. How about knowing we've got a lifetime to learn everything about our favorite person? You know, show some real commitment and ties into the theme of the show.
Cleo
I love it. And by the way, it's so obvious you work in advertising.
Mary Mouser
The creatives have certainly rubbed off on me.
Cleo
So we are really doing this?
Mary Mouser
What do we have to lose?
Cleo
Nothing. Done. And it says they'll get in touch by noon next Friday.
Mary Mouser
The suspense is already killing me.
Cleo
Oh, me too.
Mary Mouser
So we'll talk when we hear back.
Cleo
Or maybe before that.
Mary Mouser
Of course. This was a great upgrade from texting. Just promise me you won't open any email from them without me.
Cleo
Promise.
Jackie Danziger
Ready to hear the Full story? Visit YourNextListen.com Copyright 2024 by Heather Taylor and Hilary Nussbaum. Audio excerpt courtesy of Simon and Schuster Audio from the audiobook Know youw Newlywed by Heather Taylor, Hilary Nussbaum and executive produced by Elena Armas, read by Mary Mauser, Tyler Posey and a full cast published by Simon and Schuster Audio, a division of Simon and Schuster, Inc. Used with permission from Simon and Schuster, Inc. Your next listen is a production of Lemonada Media and Simon and Schuster Audio. I'm your host, Jackie Danziger. I produce this series with Lizzie Breyer Bowman. Isara Acevez is our associate producer. Bobby Woody is our audio engineer. Music by apm. Executive producers are Jessica Cordova Kramer and Stephanie Whittleswax. Production support from Lara Blackman, Tom Spain, Sarah Lieberman and Lauren Peers. Help others find our show by leaving us a rating and writing a review. Thanks for listening. See you next time.
Podcast Episode Summary: "Know Your Newlywed" by Hillary Nussbaum and Heather Taylor
Your Next Listen brings to you an exclusive excerpt from the original audiobook "Know Your Newlywed" by Hillary Nussbaum and Heather Taylor. Released on December 16, 2024, this episode immerses listeners in a captivating rom-com narrative filled with humor, heartfelt moments, and intriguing character dynamics. Below is a detailed summary capturing the essence of the episode, enriched with notable quotes and timestamps for added depth.
The audiobook, a Simon & Schuster original, is introduced by host Jackie Danziger as a full cast audio production that stands out with its rich sound design and engaging dialogue. Led by Mary Mouser, known for her role in Cobra Kai on Netflix, the story centers around Cleo, a single, nerdy young woman passionate about anthrozoology and obsessed with a nostalgic 90s game show, also titled Know Your Newlywed.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
"Know your newlywed totally satisfies your expectations. It may be a bit predictable, but it is fast paced and charming enough to make your plane ride home....”
— Jackie Danziger [00:08]
Cleo is portrayed as a dedicated, intelligent individual striving to fund her PhD in anthrozoology. Her best friend, Hannah, is married and pregnant, providing a contrasting lifestyle that fuels Cleo's aspirations and personal struggles.
Javi, voiced by Tyler Posey of Teen Wolf, enters the scene as Cleo's match on a dating app, sharing her obsession with the Know Your Newlywed show. Their instant connection sets the stage for the central romance of the story.
Notable Quotes:
"Cleo, I'm sure Charlie will be even better in person. At least he's in Boston."
— Hannah [19:35]
"If I were there, I'd give it a try."
— Cleo [29:19]
The narrative employs the beloved rom-com trope of a fake relationship, where Cleo and Javi decide to pretend to be newlyweds on the rebooted game show. This setup promises humor, romance, and the inevitable unraveling of their guise.
Key Plot Points:
Notable Quotes:
"Fake relationships are one of my favorite tropes. Shove two adorable singles together and watch the sparks fly."
— Jackie Danziger [01:30]
"One obvious reason. Do we have to tell them that we're not married?"
— Cleo [34:11]
Throughout the excerpt, interactions between Cleo, Hannah, and Javi reveal deep layers of their personalities and relationships.
Cleo and Hannah: Their conversations oscillate between personal ambitions and humorous takes on their current situations, showcasing their supportive yet candid friendship.
Notable Exchange:
Cleo [05:08]: "We could walk around a bit before they call our flight."
Hannah [05:30]: "I've got a baby playing a soccer match with my insides and two swollen feet. I think I'm done walking."
Cleo and Javi: Their budding romance is characterized by witty banter and mutual interests, laying the foundation for their collaboration on the show and potential romantic development.
Notable Exchange:
Javi [27:00]: "I'm just glad your grandma has something else cooking."
Cleo [27:02]: "I told Cleo I'd send her a picture."
Behavioral Analysis: Cleo's expertise in anthrozoology and her analytical nature influence her interactions, particularly in understanding body language and social cues. This theme underscores the importance of non-verbal communication in relationships.
Romantic Realism vs. Idealism: The story balances idealistic romance with realistic challenges, such as differing life goals and geographical distances, adding depth to the characters' relationships.
Persistence and Adaptability: Cleo's determination to pursue her dreams while navigating her personal life highlights themes of resilience and adaptability.
Notable Quotes:
"The way they act under pressure. That's probably what made me want to pursue behavioral studies."
— Cleo [16:12]
"Don't overthink it. No one knows everything about their partner. Even in the healthiest relationships, you have to take ego and pride out of the equation and just have fun."
— Cleo [16:57]
As the excerpt concludes, Cleo and Javi finalize their application to the game show, embracing the uncertainty and excitement that lies ahead. Their decision marks the beginning of a journey filled with potential romance, challenges, and personal growth.
Final Notable Quote:
"What do we have to lose?"
— Cleo [36:05]
"Know Your Newlywed" gracefully blends humor, romance, and insightful character studies, making it a delightful listen for fans of the rom-com genre. The audiobook's engaging cast and relatable themes promise a heartwarming experience that resonates with listeners seeking both laughter and love.
For more information on "Know Your Newlywed" and other featured audiobooks, visit YourNextListen.com.
Notable Quotes Recap:
This detailed summary encapsulates the key elements of the "Know Your Newlywed" excerpt, providing listeners with a comprehensive overview of the storyline, character dynamics, and thematic depth presented in this engaging audiobook.