We are told that if we just work hard enough, hit the next rank, and lead the team to the top, we will finally find the freedom we were promised. But for many, reaching that pinnacle feels less like a celebration and more like a heavy burden. In this installment of Behind the Rank, I am joined by Ashley DeLauro to pull back the curtain on what happens when encouragement becomes a mask.

Ashley built an incredible organization, hitting the top 1% of her company in record time. Yet, despite the awards and the stage time, she found herself feeling like an imposter, terrified that if she stopped pushing, it would all disappear. We dig into the "Performer Mask," the exhausting cycle of constantly pumping the tires of your team, the reality of leading through borrowed belief, and how the pressure to be perfect actually disconnects you from the very people you are trying to help.

If you have ever felt like you are running a race that has no finish line, or if you are tired of using motivation as a way to manage your own fear, this conversation with Ashley is for you. We are moving past the hustle and exploring how to lead from a place of genuine connection and calling.

Listen to Learn:

5:38 - Why hitting the top 1% felt more like a cage than a victory, and the exact moment Ashley realized that chasing a rank was a strategy built on fear, not fulfillment

14:36 - How relying on your team to "do it for you" creates a cycle of exhaustion, and why that momentum inevitably crashes once the external goal is achieved

17:09 - The way that operating as a "Performer" forced Ashley to disconnect from her own intuition, and kept her from speaking her truth even while standing on the biggest stages

21:33 - Why constant encouragement often feels like a transaction to your team, and how that performance actually prevents the deep connection you are craving

27:21 - How to stop trying to "fix" your team's mindset so you can actually lead them

31:31 - The pivotal shift that happened when Ashley started leading with presence, and how one apology changed the trajectory of her leadership journey

32:57 - Why your best leadership instincts are often the ones you are most afraid to trust, and how reconnecting to your LOVE-LED™ nature removes the need to perform

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491: Behind the Rank: Ashley DeLauro on When Encouragement Is the Mask