268: Florida Made Record Breaking History

Summary

Podcast Summary: Zane and Heath: Unfiltered
Episode 268: Florida Made Record Breaking History
Release Date: January 27, 2025

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Introduction

Skipped as per instructions.

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Faking Being Sick and Childhood Hacks

Timestamps: 00:00 – 02:12

Zayn kicks off the episode by reminiscing about childhood tactics for faking illness. He asks Heath if he's ever pretended to be sick, to which Heath admits he hasn't. Matt contributes by sharing a childhood hack: laying upside down in bed to sound congested during phone calls.

Zayn [00:00]: "Have you ever, like, had a fake sick for something?"

Matt [00:06]: "They say to lay upside down, right? Like, hang your head off the bed if you want to sound, like, congested and sick on the phone."

Heath jokes about using karaoke to lose his voice as a method to appear sick, highlighting the humor in their collective struggles with faking ailments.

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Vampire Lore and Movie Comparisons

Timestamps: 02:03 – 05:24

The conversation transitions into vampire mythology, focusing on why vampires hate garlic and cannot see their reflections. Zayn and Heath debate the plausibility of vampire traits portrayed in popular media, such as vampires not using bathrooms or maintaining perfect hair despite their age.

Heath [02:11]: "Mono."

Zayn [05:24]: "Does Twilight hold up?"

Matt [05:24]: "Does it? And now what's the difference between Nosferatu."

They compare modern depictions like "Twilight" with classic films like "Nosferatu," praising the transformation and performance of actors like Bill Skarsgård in portraying Count Orlok.

Zayn [05:30]: "That incredible transformation and. Oh, gosh, he's terrible."

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Celebrity Lawsuits and Public Perception

Timestamps: 09:07 – 14:03

The hosts delve into a high-profile lawsuit involving Olivia Wilde and Mr. Baldoni, discussing the ramifications it has on their careers and public image. Heath empathizes with Baldoni, suggesting the lawsuit might inadvertently boost the movie's popularity due to increased public interest.

Matt [10:11]: "As soon as they hear this, they're like, oh, I'm going to watch the movie because I want to see their chemistry throughout the whole movie."

Zayn [10:17]: "It's not that good. Sorry. Said it."

Zayn expresses his skepticism about the movie's quality, while Matt advises listeners to research the details themselves.

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Bilt MasterCard Advertisement

Timestamps: 19:38 – 20:28

Skipped as per instructions.

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Florida's Unusual Weather and Wildfires

Timestamps: 20:40 – 23:16

Heath shares astonishing news about unprecedented snowfall in Florida, specifically in Rosemary Beach, showcasing images of alligators covered in snow. The hosts express their surprise at weather anomalies and discuss the rapid spread of a wildfire in the Santa Clarita area, highlighting the challenges faced by firefighters.

Heath [20:56]: "She was like, my lady was cutting my hair and. And she was like, did you see the storm?"

Zayn [22:53]: "I bet Six Flags was quite a sight today. You're on the roller coaster."

They contemplate the impact of such extreme weather and fires on local communities and infrastructure, emphasizing the need for rapid response and evacuation protocols.

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Jury Duty and Personal Anecdotes

Timestamps: 07:12 – 18:57

The hosts share humorous and relatable stories about jury duty experiences, including Mariah's mishap of showing up in a bikini and Heath's accidental sock blowout. They discuss the complexities and sometimes absurdities of the jury selection process, poking fun at the challenges of being selected and the frustrations of waiting.

Heath [08:10]: "I am guilty of like, using the same socks for a long time."

Mariah [18:47]: "Yeah, so she showed up breaking the dress code."

These anecdotes provide a light-hearted respite from the more serious topics discussed earlier in the episode.

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Meteorite Impact Caught on Video

Timestamps: 41:07 – 43:53

Zayn narrates an incredible story of a meteorite falling on a couple's property in Prince Edward Island, Canada. The meteorite's impact was captured on video with sound, a first in scientific recordings. The hosts marvel at the rarity of such an event and discuss the scientific significance of capturing both the visual and auditory aspects of a meteorite strike.

Zayn [41:07]: "So a couple walk up and see this, like, almost like a shattered rock."

Heath [42:53]: "I would love to be in that room just for them to talk about it like, guys."

They express fascination with the intersection of everyday life and extraordinary celestial events, contemplating the technological advancements that allow such phenomena to be documented in detail.

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Unique Mall Experiences and Travel Tales

Timestamps: 62:20 – 68:54

The discussion shifts to the American Dream Mall in New Jersey, described as a "fever dream" due to its vast array of attractions, including roller coasters, indoor ski lifts, and themed restaurants like an Oreo Café. Mariah recounts her overwhelming experience navigating the expansive mall, while Matt shares his amazement at encountering an indoor snowboarding setup similar to one he saw in Dubai.

Mariah [63:58]: "There's a full water park inside them all."

Matt [64:12]: "There's a guy walking out in full gear. Snowboard, boots, everything."

The hosts highlight the mall's unique offerings, comparing it to world-renowned destinations like the Mall of America and discussing its appeal as a year-round entertainment hub.

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Fun with Language and Grammar

Timestamps: 59:51 – 63:18

Zayn introduces a linguistic curiosity about the sentence "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo," exploring its grammatical correctness through homonyms and homophones. The group engages in a playful debate over the sentence's structure and meaning, demonstrating their camaraderie and sense of humor.

Zayn [60:03]: "Buffalo is a grammatically correct sentence used as an example."

Matt [61:00]: "Buffalo from Buffalo, buffalo."

This segment showcases their ability to blend educational content with entertainment, making complex topics accessible and amusing.

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Closing Remarks

Skipped as per instructions.

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Notable Quotes

• Zayn [00:00]: "Have you ever, like, had a fake sick for something?"
• Matt [05:30]: "That incredible transformation and. Oh, gosh, he's terrible."
• Heath [20:56]: "She was like, my lady was cutting my hair and. And she was like, did you see the storm?"
• Zayn [41:07]: "This is the first time a meteorite has ever been captured on video with sound."

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Conclusion

In this episode, Zane and Heath navigate a diverse array of topics, from humorous childhood memories and vampire lore to astonishing meteorite incidents and the wonders of modern mall architecture. Their engaging banter, coupled with insightful commentary and relatable anecdotes, provides listeners with an entertaining and informative experience. Whether discussing the bizarre weather phenomena in Florida or debating the intricacies of English grammar, the hosts maintain a light-hearted and conversational tone that resonates with their audience.

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Note: All advertisements, introductory remarks, and concluding segments promoting Patreon or other services have been intentionally excluded to focus solely on the episode's substantive content.

Transcript

[Zayn]

Have you ever, like, had a fake sick for something? Like, when you were younger, did you ever, like, have any hacks of, like, faking sick?

[Heath]

No.

[Matt]

What did they say? They say to lay upside down, right? Like, hang your head off the bed if you want to sound, like, congested and sick on the phone.

[Zayn]

Oh, lay your head upside down.

[Matt]

They say to, like, lay on the edge of your bed and hang upside down. So, like, the blood and everything, like, rushes to your head and you sound, like, super congested.

[Heath]

You're on FaceTime. Upside down. They're like, my God, you look.

[Matt]

You're terrible.

[Zayn]

I feel like I could just fake sounding congested.

[Mariah]

Like, your N. N's are D's.

[Heath]

Yeah, it's.

[Zayn]

Or you just, like, try not to.

[Mariah]

Like, not feeling good.

[Zayn]

Yeah. Don't make any of, like, air. Try to come out of your nose just to, like, make it very, like, all in the mouth.

[Matt]

Hey, Doc, I think I got the suds.

[Heath]

Just let me do karaoke the night before and I'll sound very sick the next day.

[Zayn]

Oh, that. Yeah. You lose your voice. Like.

[Heath]

Yeah, when I lose my voice, I could. That's it.

[Matt]

You get raspy.

[Heath]

I'm good.

[Matt]

That's a nice sick to fake. Because you don't have to, like, seem sick. You could be like, it just.

[Heath]

I have something in my throat. Like, that's gross. It's like, don't come near me with that in your throat.

[Matt]

That's a little bit scarier than somebody sneezing.

[Heath]

Yeah. 100. Oh, yeah. Ew. And you think of, like, mono, too. Is it mono? Mono?

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Mono.

[Zayn]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Matt]

What's the other one? Mono. What else was going around?

[Heath]

Crap. No.

[Mariah]

Swine flu.

[Matt]

Croup cough. I used to get.

[Heath]

Bird flu.

[Matt]

Swine flu. Yeah, those were hot.

[Zayn]

Lasts for, like, how long? A month.

[Matt]

I had mono and strep at the same time when I was younger, and it was these worst month of my life.

[Zayn]

Do you know how you got the mono? Because remember, like, mono was like, the kissing, like, sickness or whatever. It was like you got it from, like, I don't know, like, intensilized herpes was too. Like, you can also get mono from just, like, drinking someone's drink, right? Like, it's just any.

[Heath]

Yeah. No. Yeah. Very contagious. I thought even if you're next to somebody, you can catch, like, mono. It's only when you share drinks.

[Matt]

Saliva, mucus, or blood.

[Zayn]

Oh, so it's like any of the bodily fluids.

[Heath]

Blood is kind of sick. Like, if I got sick for you because of Blood. It's like blood brothers.

[Matt]

Who are you kissing? Oh, no, we. We blood brothers.

[Heath]

We were swapping blood.

[Zayn]

Just swapping needles.

[Heath]

Yeah. Oh, wow. That is actually.

[Mariah]

That would be the way a vampire named Mono.

[Matt]

Honestly.

[Mariah]

Character. Yeah, that's a good movie title.

[Heath]

Mono.

[Mariah]

Mono.

[Heath]

It's about vampire Netflix.

[Matt]

Knowing us, we're going to say that and it's going to come out in like three months.

[Zayn]

That you have Mono.

[Matt]

No, that the movie's going to be made.

[Zayn]

Oh, really good at that.

[Matt]

No, we don't get sick. There's a. I put garlic in between my toes.

[Mariah]

Vampires love garlic.

[Heath]

Oh, I thought. They hate garlic.

[Zayn]

Garlic.

[Mariah]

Oh, all right, all right.

[Zayn]

Su me.

[Mariah]

Sorry if that was offensive to my vampire community, to all my vamps.

[Zayn]

What is it about?

[Heath]

What is it about garlic? Is it just like the. The smell? I understand that, but they made it up for a reason. Like they had to have some sort of reason why it's garlic. Like, what is it about garlic? Like the steak. I understand that, you know. Jesus. Jesus.

[Matt]

Silver bullet.

[Heath]

Yeah, silver bullet.

[Matt]

Garlic, though, it's just. It is pretty out there.

[Zayn]

A garlic flavored bullet inspired by Bram Stoker's Dracula. So it was.

[Matt]

It was big garlic coming together.

[Heath]

Really religious. Someone, like whoever owns the garlic brand.

[Matt]

Owns like 90% of garlic crops. Just like. Yeah, let's just get people to.

[Zayn]

And they hate a crucifix, right? Obviously, that's what they. They hate as well. And they can't see themselves in a mirror. Is that true?

[Heath]

Right, that's. Or is it ghosts?

[Zayn]

Vampire vampires cannot see themselves in a mirror, right?

[Heath]

Yes.

[Matt]

Is it that they're not allowed to and it like kills them or they just don't see a reflection?

[Heath]

They actually don't see a reflection.

[Matt]

Oh, I bet.

[Zayn]

So did Edward Cullen, like, never use the bathroom at school because, like the moment he goes to the bathroom, everyone's like washing their hands and they're just like that. Where are you?

[Heath]

Never use the bathroom.

[Matt]

How did he get ready in the morning? How was his hair always so nice?

[Zayn]

I don't know. I just think it's kind of weird. You're like hundreds of years old and you go to a high school. Why? You're taking creepy cam again?

[Heath]

Yeah. We should boycott that movie.

[Matt]

Watch it with like 30 year old eyes. I'm very curious.

[Zayn]

Yeah, Twilight holds up.

[Matt]

Does it? And now what's the difference between Nosferatu.

[Zayn]

Nosferatu is based on like a silent film that came out in like.

[Matt]

But he is a vampire.

[Zayn]

Nosferatu is a vampire.

[Matt]

Is he also Dracula.

[Zayn]

He is not Dracula, but he is a count. He is account. His name's Count. Count Orlok or something like that. No structures. Really good. That's the one from back in the day. Yeah. Count Orlok, right?

[Heath]

That's like Bo. Vip. Oh, what's that?

[Mariah]

That's a good Halloween.

[Heath]

Terrible picture of him.

[Mariah]

Zane, you should do that for Halloween.

[Heath]

I should.

[Matt]

It's good.

[Zayn]

He's from Transylvania.

[Mariah]

I love the movie Hotel Transylvania. So good. So funny.

[Heath]

I thought Dracula was from Transylvania. That's.

[Zayn]

Yeah, that's where in Count Orlock is from. Transylvania.

[Heath]

See? Told you, dude.

[Zayn]

The movie is so good. Nosferatu and that.

[Heath]

It looks really.

[Zayn]

Well, what's his name? He's one of the Skarsgards. Bill Skarsgard, the younger one.

[Heath]

They always have him as a monster.

[Zayn]

When I was watching the movie, I'm like, when's Bill Skarsgard coming in? Because who's ever playing this Count Orlok guy is phenomenal. But I don't recognize him. It was him the whole time.

[Matt]

Wow.

[Zayn]

That incredible transformation and. Oh, gosh, he's terrible.

[Matt]

You know? Have you seen Biscuits Sling Blade?

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Do you know who that is?

[Zayn]

Yeah, that's Billy Bob Thornton that.

[Matt]

I just found that out, and it actually blew my mind.

[Zayn]

Do you know who the little boy is from?

[Matt]

No.

[Zayn]

Kid from Tokyo Drift.

[Matt]

Yes, He's. He's. He was a big child actor.

[Zayn]

Yes, yes. And he was in, like, that's crazy.

[Matt]

That. That's.

[Heath]

Prosthetics is so interesting to me how, like, you don't want to just use the actor. You love the actor. Actor skills, but you just. You need to completely change it.

[Zayn]

I don't even know if Billy Bob Thornton used that much prosthetics. I think he just, like, made his face like that and just put his.

[Mariah]

Jaw forward, like a Jim Carrey where he.

[Heath]

I don't know.

[Matt]

He's got, like, a scar, I think, on him, but.

[Zayn]

Or maybe he kind of, like, put some, like, not, like. What do they call, like, spacers, maybe in his jaw to make him, like, acorns.

[Matt]

Like a squirrel to puff the cheek.

[Zayn]

Yeah. Or you know how, like, Marlon Brando is in the Godfather, too? Like, I think they gave him something in his mouth. Like, you got me on my Donald wedding.

[Heath]

It'd be so fun to be in character for, like, a whole movie. Like, not yourself.

[Zayn]

It would be.

[Heath]

I'd be much better on the podcast if I was in prosthetics.

[Zayn]

Do you think if you. Would you be a method actor? Would you still stay in Character Right. When they say cut. And you would still be like, would.

[Matt]

You method act like Blake Lively?

[Zayn]

What did Blake Lively method act as?

[Matt]

Just everything going on with her.

[Heath]

It's actually let's roll. Let's roll intro and then talk about that. Okay.

[Zayn]

It's coffee time, baby.

[Heath]

Let's go. Welcome back to Zayn and Heath Unfiltered. I'm Zane.

[Matt]

I'm Heath.

[Zayn]

I'm Matt.

[Mariah]

I'm Mariah.

[Heath]

And you're watching the best podcast in the world.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Season. Hey, let's go. 2025 is gonna be the best year.

[Mariah]

Those toes today going. Is that on? Is that in frame?

[Zayn]

You are moving those toes.

[Heath]

Oh, I, I, they move when I get excited.

[Zayn]

Oh.

[Matt]

Zane had like a panic attack after the last episode because his foot was showing the whole time and he had a big hole.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Mariah]

Oh, you did.

[Heath]

So I'm just waiting for that one to go up. And the comments could be like, Zane, you're disgusting.

[Mariah]

Like, hey, hey. A comment is a comment.

[Matt]

I had a sock blowout. My dad, every pair of socks, he has big toe blowout. I don't understand.

[Heath]

We have big toes.

[Zayn]

I get holes in the bottom of them. If I go outside and I'm like on pavement for a little bit.

[Matt]

I've never, ever. And I don't know if it's like, is it your toenail is like cutting through at the seam and busting it? Is it?

[Zayn]

I think it's a sock. That's how it's time and needs to go. I don't think like a brand. One sock after a year, I don't think you'd have a blow up. But a sock you've owned for like five years, that toe might be popping out.

[Heath]

I am a, I am guilty of like, using the same socks for a long time. As long as, like, they look like somewhat clean.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

After I wash them, then I, then I keep them. But yeah, the thread starts to weaken and then it'll just blow a hole. But I really didn't notice that one. I'm sorry. I didn't feel it either. Yeah. You feel like a little bit of cold.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Heath]

A little breeze on the bottom. No, I just found hole my boxers.

[Matt]

No.

[Heath]

Last week I was like, how does, how do I not see that? It's so cool.

[Zayn]

Where was the hole?

[Heath]

Like, right here. But like, I'll never, I'll never see that.

[Zayn]

Yeah. You know, someone pointed out. How'd you catch it?

[Matt]

He's on a toilet.

[Zayn]

He's like, someone's in bed. He's like, I'll be right back. She's like, you got a hole right there. You need anything?

[Heath]

It's so embarrassing. But, yeah. Welcome back. Thank you for joining us. Really appreciate it.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Heath]

But, yeah, Blake Lively. What a horrendous mess. That entire thing. And you know what? I was a big fan of the two of them.

[Matt]

Talk about backfire.

[Heath]

What do you mean?

[Matt]

The whole thing that she put out.

[Heath]

She didn't put that out.

[Matt]

Her claims.

[Zayn]

Right.

[Heath]

Are you talking about the video, her.

[Matt]

Accusations, and everything that started all of this?

[Heath]

Oh, she started it.

[Zayn]

Yes. To Mr. Baldoni, right?

[Matt]

Yes.

[Zayn]

And then now he is suing her back. And Ryan Reynolds for. And the New York Times with receipts.

[Matt]

Being like, everything was BS for $400 million.

[Zayn]

Is what. The lawsuit that he's, like, charging her for.

[Matt]

I don't know. The proof that I saw coming from his side was back to back to back.

[Heath]

What a shame. I feel so bad for him. This was, like, the one movie that was. He was so excited to, like, just film and get done, and then this is just now how sour it all is. But I'm sure, you know, I'm sure it pushed a movie 10 times more. I'm sure every, like, as soon as they.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

As soon as they hear this, they're like, oh, I'm going to watch the movie because I want to see their chemistry throughout the whole movie.

[Zayn]

It's not that good. Sorry. Said it.

[Heath]

It's not.

[Zayn]

I bet. I think the book's good. I think Colleen Hoover's, like, a fun little writer, but I don't think it. I. I don't think it was that good. My opinion.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

And I don't think Blake Lively is that good of an actress.

[Heath]

I. You see, I've always. In Savages. I've always liked her. She was always fun to me. Oh.

[Zayn]

Always enjoyed Savages. Okay. Savages. Savages. Go back to Savages.

[Heath]

Yeah, she's good.

[Zayn]

She's good. In the Age of Adelaide. I love that one. Have you ever seen that movie? Oh, my. She plays this girl who, like, never ages. She just stays the same age.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Heath]

I always liked her, too, because I loved them as a couple. I loved her. I loved Ryan Reynolds.

[Matt]

They would post together. Was really funny.

[Heath]

Power couple. I just like, she killed. Good speech.

[Zayn]

And she was like, when Daddy comes home, he's the best father ever. He can be in costume and makeup with fake blood on his face, and he's there to play with our little girls.

[Heath]

Exactly.

[Zayn]

I know they seem like a happy couple. And if I was Ryan Reynolds, I'd be like, baby, can we just keep it a little quiet, please? I got him.

[Heath]

You know what? Apparently he's the one that's Ryan Reynolds.

[Zayn]

Yeah. Poo poo pens.

[Heath]

Apparently he's spearheading. Spearheading this whole thing.

[Zayn]

People are saying, yeah, Ryan Reynolds is.

[Heath]

Like, he's the one that's been like. He's the one that's been like telling her exactly what to do. I got a lawyer.

[Zayn]

Let's take him down.

[Matt]

Yeah, I think she told him something different. And Ryan was like, yeah, let's. You know, this is wrong. We should do something about it.

[Heath]

Some of the theories people are coming up with too is that she on set while they were filming, she started having feelings for him and the feelings started growing and he wasn't like rejected with her. Like he was like rejecting her. I was like, no. So Ryan caught this or like noticed this because apparently in the last relationship, both of the Ryan and Blake have both cheated on their spouses to get together. To get together. So I think in the back of their head is like. And that this was during. During a movie that this happened. So I'm sure it's always in the back of their head when they're both.

[Zayn]

Working with Ryan Reynolds. Married to.

[Heath]

Wasn't it Scarlett?

[Zayn]

Oh, you're right.

[Heath]

Was it. Was he married or was he just with her?

[Zayn]

I could see them like maybe having a logging engagement. Yeah, you're right. Yes. Scarlett Johansson.

[Heath]

But I was watching this. I forget.

[Matt]

2008 to 2011. Wow.

[Zayn]

Wow.

[Heath]

What's his name? Like, have you ever seen Be Better that kid that like he has a lot.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Degree he like, he like read all of the documents and he read the.

[Heath]

Entire like 9 hour like page lawsuit, like all the documents and he said, he said he could not believe what was in that.

[Matt]

Like he said, see what happens and comes out of all of it.

[Zayn]

Daddy interviewed like Baldoni's lawyer and oh, he was obliterated.

[Heath]

Oh, that dude. If I saw that, I'd be shit.

[Zayn]

In my sure of himself. Man. I've ever seen say those words like.

[Heath]

Dude, that is a lawyer I want on my side.

[Zayn]

I think it's like, I don't know. I don't want to like make. What am I saying, assumptions about how it's all going to go down. But it could also. It could jeopardize her whole career. I think she should get out of it while she can and give him a settlement and just say sorry.

[Heath]

Just. Yeah, just like, hey, I'm sorry.

[Zayn]

I heard she's going to get picked to pieces. And then like her can never get booked for anything.

[Matt]

The whole thing that was happening with her before all of this, she like was already on the bad side of.

[Heath]

The public before all this. For what? What else or what was it before that?

[Matt]

People were, everybody was like going back.

[Zayn]

Through just mean girl energy, narcissistic vibes.

[Heath]

I thought they were only bringing that up because of this.

[Matt]

No, people just were like finding and like digging up stuff on her, saying she was like a horrible person.

[Heath]

Damn.

[Matt]

And then I think tried to get back in like the good graces of the public.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And then was like, right this, she's, she's gonna apologize.

[Heath]

It's, it's gonna work.

[Zayn]

I wish I knew more about it.

[Matt]

There's a lot of good stuff out there. And I encourage everybody to do their own research.

[Heath]

Yeah. And read the nine hour document. I encourage you. I already did.

[Zayn]

So I could never be a lawyer at all. It sounds so stressful when I'm watching it movies. I'm like, no, I couldn't do it.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

Like just having to consume so much information, picking out what's important and then being able to like argue it all like within like 24 hours, like the next day. Having just responses for all the counter arguments as well, getting cross examined. I just. Mad props to lawyers.

[Matt]

I love the jargon though. I. I can listen to a lawyer.

[Zayn]

All day sometimes though, it's like really hard to understand. I feel like if I was like on the stage and a lawyer was talking to me, they would trip me up and I'd be like, wait, I.

[Heath]

Wouldn'T be able to.

[Zayn]

You do deny it.

[Matt]

Yeah, I think in the reading, like a contract, like, you know, professional lawyer talk, whatever. I don't like reading it, but like hearing them say it, I'm like, this is awesome.

[Zayn]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Heath]

Like, literally if I was on the stand and a lawyer was talking to me like that, I mean, you know, like I could barely understand what people are saying half the time. So imagine a lawyer is just like trying to get me to say something. I'm just, I look at the jury, I'm like, I don't understand what I. I don't understand what you're saying. Can you like, like, do people do that where they're like, I truly don't, like, I can't understand.

[Matt]

Can you repeat questions?

[Zayn]

Your honor, my. In here. My client here is incompetent. He has add. He has add. Can you just explain it? Like he's five. Okay. Maybe draw him a picture Give him a visual aid, please.

[Heath]

He's going to the jury.

[Matt]

Bear with it. We're going to need a recession.

[Zayn]

Yeah, Yeah. A recess. Yeah. Can we break? Can we break for lunch?

[Heath]

Every five minutes of recess.

[Zayn]

I've never been in a court. I've never have ever done it.

[Matt]

Me either.

[Heath]

And that's why we should take the jury duty that keeps on being mail to us and we keep throwing out.

[Zayn]

Yeah, do it.

[Heath]

Yeah. I just want a murder trial that's gonna end like this. You know what I mean? Like point blank. Obviously he did it, but I want the trial to only be a week. I don't want to be more than a week in a courthouse.

[Zayn]

Yeah, you could be in one where it just takes up like, what, an entire year? Like you.

[Matt]

Oh, didn't your mom just get called into jury duty? But nothing happened.

[Mariah]

Yeah, so she.

[Matt]

She showed up and then was waiting.

[Mariah]

She showed up breaking the dress code. She was like, I'm hoping I show up. And they're like, you're not dressed for it. Go home.

[Matt]

She was in a bikini.

[Mariah]

Yeah. She said she got there and they randomly selected a few people to, like, they didn't need that many people. So she went home.

[Zayn]

Yeah, because they usually, like, you go in and then they interview all the people.

[Mariah]

Right.

[Zayn]

Like, what do you do? What's your job? Okay, so have you experienced something like this before? And, like, they see who's like, a good candidate who may be too close to the case. It's.

[Matt]

It's one of those things, like, you go and you're like, ugh, I hope they don't pick me. Like, you don't really want to do it, but then I would kind of get jealous that I didn't get picked.

[Mariah]

Just so knows about what the case is.

[Matt]

Why didn't you pick me? Like, I'd be like, I just.

[Zayn]

What did I express it? If I was like. If I was a jury, I'd be like, oh.

[Mariah]

I'd be like.

[Matt]

I'd be like, no, it's watching the background faces of like, Judge Judy is so entertaining.

[Heath]

Oh, yeah, Because I want to watch that.

[Zayn]

I want to go to one of those hyped.

[Heath]

How do you get on those?

[Zayn]

Those are like people who are, like, visiting LA and you just go down to Hollywood. Yeah, we're looking for extras. We're filming an episode of Judge Judy. Just be here at this time. Get here.

[Heath]

I'd dive right in.

[Zayn]

Yeah, dive right.

[Heath]

There's no commitment.

[Matt]

Just one day. We should all do that as like.

[Zayn]

Yeah, you guys could Go on Judge Judy. Probably like, you can.

[Heath]

Oh, she does like, fake cases.

[Zayn]

Yeah. Oh, I thought they were all inside Elko and Elijah. Daniel would go on there.

[Heath]

No, they did it like Maury. They didn't do Judge Judy like a mori or something.

[Zayn]

Some stuff on Judge Judy is like, definitely a stage.

[Heath]

I really thought they were all real. They're just like, very damn case for me.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Mariah]

Don't tell me that.

[Zayn]

Yeah, I would say really all of them are staged. But you can go and like, stage something. Like, you start.

[Matt]

I saw this one dude who was a lawyer that was on Judge Judy suing because the lady cut his hair too short.

[Zayn]

Right. I mean, they're pretty.

[Matt]

And then she was like, you of all people. Really?

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And she was like, calling him out, though.

[Zayn]

Shame on you.

[Heath]

The. The guy with the short hair with the.

[Matt]

Yeah, he got like a bad haircut and he's a lawyer trying to go on Judge Judy to like, sue her for like 10. It was like something insane. Like $10,000. And she's like, it's a bad haircut.

[Heath]

That's the most you can get. Normally you.

[Matt]

Yeah, you get the. It's comped like, you just get a free haircut.

[Heath]

And these days that's good.

[Mariah]

Did you have to ever have to do a school report on a lawsuit and basically break down the whole story? I remember we did it and I did the McDonald's hot coffee.

[Zayn]

Oh, and that woman who, like, got a million bucks.

[Mariah]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

Because they didn't, like, they didn't have a coffee sleeper burn her.

[Mariah]

Right.

[Zayn]

And she was able to sue McDonald's.

[Mariah]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

Because of the burns.

[Mariah]

Right.

[Heath]

I swear, I thought that happened while we were recording, like, season one.

[Matt]

No, we just talked about it.

[Mariah]

Oh, yeah, but that was my school project. I did it on that case.

[Matt]

Whose side were you on?

[Mariah]

It's a really good question. I think I was on her side because she was old. I think I felt bad.

[Matt]

She did have some crazy burns, like, looking back, like.

[Mariah]

Yeah, she. But I think they did drop the temperatures from then on. Right. Because it was really hot.

[Matt]

They put like a warning on it. Yeah.

[Mariah]

Right.

[Heath]

Wait, just a sleeve. I thought the whole point was that.

[Mariah]

The sleeve has to have a warning on it.

[Matt]

The coffee didn't have like a caution hot type thing.

[Heath]

Interesting. And what's game? What's game Game Getting hot ass coffee for like, Come on. While driving.

[Matt]

Is Cube down? This show is brought to you by Bilt mastercard.

[Heath]

You've probably heard me talking about Bilt as the company that helps you earn valuable points on rent. But I'll let you in on a little something. The built MasterCard is also one of the best ways to earn points on dining.

[Matt]

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[Heath]

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[Matt]

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[Heath]

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[Matt]

O I N B I L T.com unfiltered make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you. Join built.com unfiltered oh, I saw Florida.

[Heath]

Has so much snow in the north.

[Zayn]

It's crazy. It was snowing on the beach in like Rosemary Beach.

[Heath]

She was like, my lady was cutting my hair and. And she was like, did you see the storm?

[Zayn]

Florida.

[Heath]

I was like, it like snows from like here and there, but it's like very like, like. No, it's like a light flurry that.

[Matt]

Never like, actually like settles on the ground. Seeing an alligator covered in snow is crazy. Crazy.

[Heath]

A gator on snow. That is a insane picture.

[Matt]

I think that's a first.

[Mariah]

He looks so happy.

[Matt]

Probably running around playing in it.

[Zayn]

Snow on the beach.

[Mariah]

That's a lot of snow. This is a lot of snow.

[Heath]

That's insane. It looks like the middle of an.

[Matt]

Orange tree with snow on it is.

[Zayn]

Like an album cover or something.

[Mariah]

Yeah, these are all album covers.

[Matt]

This all looks like AI. That's what.

[Mariah]

It's the Waffle House covered in snow.

[Heath]

Yeah. Make Florida. Make Florida beach snowy. That's exactly what would become a be.

[Mariah]

Like, oh, that's really cool.

[Matt]

Good for you.

[Zayn]

I just wanted to snow here.

[Heath]

I know.

[Matt]

Real snow like that.

[Zayn]

Let it dump in la.

[Heath]

Yeah. We need that in this city right now. Just snow. Just bring in snow.

[Matt]

You saw another fire popped up.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Today area.

[Zayn]

Yes, yes. Santa Clarita area.

[Matt]

Like right by Lake Castic.

[Zayn]

Right when it popped up, it was like a couple hundred acres and then it went to 5,000 like, it was faster than Palisades.

[Heath]

I think it was soaring through.

[Zayn]

There are a lot of residences out there. I haven't. I don't know much.

[Matt]

There's definitely evacuation on the north side of the lake where it started. But since it spread so quick, they were like, oh, well, if you're not within, like, 60. Like a house wasn't within 16 miles of it when it first started. But it's spreading so fast that people are evacuating.

[Zayn]

I bet Six Flags was quite a sight today. You're on the roller coaster.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

Hill just in flames.

[Heath]

Imagine the girls trip. Like, we're going to la, but you're landing. It just fires everywhere. Oh, turn this plane around. It's. It's so. And it's just gonna keep happening. Just one little. One little flare, one little flame. Just.

[Matt]

Winds just keep coming. It's really sad.

[Heath]

Have you checked it in the past, like, few hours?

[Matt]

Not for the last three hours. I haven't checked. 9,000 acres.

[Zayn]

Oh, my gosh. It was just 5,000.

[Heath]

That's like a little over a third of all. Ready. My mom's gonna have to come out here now. I feel it.

[Matt]

Time to send in the big guns.

[Mariah]

It's time.

[Zayn]

Could she be, like, summoned to help as.

[Heath]

No, she's retired.

[Matt]

She gets a call.

[Heath]

She's retired. It's. It's only, like, working firefighters, and usually, like, you can't. It's only certain. I mean, do they hit up every department and see who's available?

[Zayn]

I mean, I was down in Venice, and a fire truck, like, was there at an intersection I was at, and I was like, oh, I've never. I don't know that city. Where is that county from? Like, it was just obviously not part of, like, la.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

Forgot the name of the town. And I looked it up. It was from Washington. Like, it was a fire truck that had come all the way down to, like, help all the way from Washington.

[Mariah]

That's, like, when Canada and Mexico came. I feel like they just come just to help. Yeah.

[Matt]

I think they were probably coming down for the San Diego, because. San Diego.

[Mariah]

All right.

[Zayn]

Oh, my.

[Heath]

Right now?

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Oh, boy.

[Zayn]

There's a cat show in San Diego this Sunday.

[Heath]

Wait, a what?

[Zayn]

A cat show?

[Heath]

What's that?

[Zayn]

It's a dog show, but it's like a cat show.

[Heath]

Oh, cat show.

[Zayn]

Beautiful Maine coon. Great structure, incredible color and fur. This is my first place best in show.

[Matt]

This the stretch.

[Heath]

You got. You got to go.

[Zayn]

I, I, I'm going to it, but I am going to something Else on Sunday you canuba. I'm going to a bodybuilding competition.

[Heath]

No way.

[Zayn]

I'm not in it.

[Heath]

Like, no, I, I know that.

[Matt]

Nobody, nobody thought you were all reacting.

[Mariah]

It was like, I know, I know I'm not in it. Believe it or not, I'm hiding it now.

[Heath]

You already, you already went to your. Good for you.

[Mariah]

Love that, Love that for you.

[Matt]

Send p. Let me know how you do.

[Zayn]

I'm just, just going to be myself when you're there.

[Heath]

Just let them know you already went.

[Zayn]

To one in February, a body reveal.

[Mariah]

Somebody, same thing performing.

[Zayn]

Yeah, one of my good friends from high school, hometown friend. He's like kind of my trainer, but like, he gives me advice and I'll follow this up, but he's awesome. Patrick Lyons. He.

[Mariah]

What a name. That is a bodybuilder name.

[Zayn]

Oh, yeah, he's all front and center, all natural.

[Matt]

Yeah. Or like an NFL player.

[Mariah]

Yeah, yeah, Lyons.

[Matt]

Good linebacker.

[Zayn]

Yeah, he's in incredible shape. And. But there's like two separate, like, tournaments like that are happening on Saturday. Is the one where it's like the guys who are juiced up in the natural category. Natural one.

[Heath]

What do they call it though? They don't call it that. But what is the categories?

[Zayn]

He sent me the flyer.

[Heath]

You know, they just, they try to got to make it nice for like the juiced up guy so they don't feel like, is this him?

[Zayn]

Oh, it's west coast naturals. And then the one where they're like on steroids. It's muscle contest challenge.

[Heath]

There you go.

[Mariah]

Is that your friend?

[Zayn]

Yeah, that's my friend. Yeah. He grew up like right behind my parents. Yeah. But anyways, yeah, he's said he was coming out to a bodybuilding competition. Patricia's in the Bahamas, she's out of town. I'm like, like, yeah, I'll go.

[Mariah]

You know what, he's probably out cheating on his friend.

[Zayn]

Where are you? I'm at a bodybuilding competition, but yeah, I'm going to that instead of the cat show in San Diego.

[Heath]

What a. I wanna, I have to like, I have to Google search this cat show. I just need to see what it looks.

[Mariah]

You've never seen a cat. Oh, you've seen a dog show?

[Heath]

I've seen a dog show.

[Mariah]

You know, where they're touching and they're.

[Heath]

Like, like they're running, they're running through loops.

[Mariah]

No, not that one.

[Matt]

They're on. That's the agility.

[Mariah]

They're on like a podium, like a pedestal. They're in a bu they're testing that. They're. Watch looking at the tail, the stretch, the hand, the face.

[Matt]

This is a beautiful symmetry of like.

[Mariah]

The markings pageant for animals, like, is a winner. Wow, that's gorgeous.

[Zayn]

Yeah. What kind of.

[Heath]

They're cute, but they look scary at the same time.

[Mariah]

Well, they don't all look like that.

[Zayn]

There's something.

[Heath]

No, no, I'm not talking about the whole, like, the eyes, like, kind of scare me, but they're cute, but they just scare me. Are those like that your little English London cats that you like?

[Zayn]

A Scottish fold?

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

Scottish foals aren't like the ones with.

[Heath]

Like, the smushed face.

[Zayn]

What are those? Those cats are like Persian cats. Scottish folds just have like the little, like, folded in ears and kind of have a smushy face, but, like, have really good energy and stuff. But, you know, adopt, don't shop.

[Matt]

You trying to see if Dean could win?

[Mariah]

I'm seeing if he qualifies.

[Heath]

Did you guys.

[Zayn]

Oh, weird. They may have, like, a mix.

[Mariah]

I think we talked about this. Did you guys know Dean's breed is Grumpy Cat's breed, which is a snowshoe?

[Zayn]

Like, thinking he was a snow.

[Mariah]

He is a snowshoe.

[Heath]

I swear, I thought I heard you guys like once say, like, like, not Siamese.

[Matt]

He was younger. We were like thinking he was going to be 100 siamese. But as he got older and his color changed, we realized he was.

[Mariah]

We had to do a lot of research. So he's half Siamese, half short hair, American. And they're. They came from Philadelphia. A snowshoe. And they're one of the rarest forms of Siamese.

[Heath]

Wow, you guys really won the jackpot in the streets.

[Mariah]

But yeah, he's the same cat as Grumpy Cat.

[Matt]

Did we tell you that we submitted him for a calendar?

[Zayn]

Did you? Which calendar? Are there a lot of calendars?

[Mariah]

Paw prints.

[Matt]

He made the calendar. Guess what month he is.

[Zayn]

Is the picture that you gave them the one that's going to be in the calendar or. They have to set up a photo.

[Mariah]

It's already in it. We got. We have the calendar.

[Zayn]

Does the picture give off energy of the month? Okay, so what month? Well, you guys are getting married next month, so I'm gonna guess February.

[Mariah]

Yeah, right?

[Matt]

Isn't that crazy?

[Zayn]

Oh, how cool.

[Mariah]

Weird.

[Zayn]

How is this gonna be for 20, 26 or.

[Mariah]

No, we already got it.

[Zayn]

How perfect.

[Heath]

Do you know how many people, like, get this calendar or how many people purchase this calendar?

[Matt]

It's probably one of those ones you submit and every cat wins.

[Heath]

No, they make you feel.

[Zayn]

Was there an entry fee?

[Mariah]

No, no, of course not.

[Zayn]

That's a great way to make it seem like someone bucks. I'll put that cat in there.

[Matt]

Then we started thinking. I was like, what if they just, like, they. They put it in for, like, the specific one. They're like, he's in it now. You got to order it, because you obviously want to see your cat in the calendar.

[Mariah]

Yeah. Well, here's the thing. I didn't bring this up to you because I. I don't want it to feel like a scam, but he did get put in the calendar. We did talk about it on different videos and stuff, and I spread the word about it so it could be true. But they texted me two days ago. Now we got this calendar months ago. They text me two days ago, and they said, Dean's calendar was a hot commodity. So they put him on a puzzle, and they sent us the link, and they said, we would love to send you the puzzle.

[Matt]

No way.

[Mariah]

I don' I don't know if they sent that to everybody. No, I think they're just going in and customizing it per person that they're sending the link.

[Matt]

The only thing we had to do was go to WalGreens and get five Amazon gift cards for a hundred dollars and just leave them.

[Zayn]

Like, what? It was that easy? It was that easy. I just gave them the code, and I'm.

[Matt]

Well, they're supposed to send it back because they didn't have enough money to make the calendar.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Matt]

So they just needed them up front. And then as soon as they print it, they're sending me the money back.

[Zayn]

Yeah. Support a small business. Of course.

[Heath]

It reminds me of my mom's competition that she did where, like, people were buying votes if you have to pay for. They were making so much money. And it's really sad because there's people that, like, cannot afford to buy votes, and they're, like, getting family members and friends to, like, to vote, and then.

[Matt]

Crazy.

[Heath]

They're just purchasing vote after vote after vote, like, in bundles.

[Zayn]

Oh, yeah. If anytime someone is like, can you guys, like, vote for me? But, like, you have to pay for the votes. Don't.

[Heath]

That's crazy scam.

[Zayn]

And it's so hard to, like, break someone's spirit, too, when they're like, like, I want to be on the COVID of Maxim. Please vote for me. I'm like, hate to burst your bubble, but this is.

[Matt]

There's people with a lot of money.

[Zayn]

This is scam. Like, I Don't know. Don't ask. Asking money for votes.

[Heath]

Yeah, it's.

[Zayn]

Yeah, it's pretty money for something you really need or, like, people just don't want to, like, throw money and the odds of you getting it. I know.

[Matt]

She won in all of our hearts.

[Heath]

Well, she did. She did. She. She was top time until that. There was this lady that just kept on buying, like, 100 votes. 100 votes. 100. And every time it got to the last second, she would just purchase. Purge a purchase, and then she would just. She. She would just be everybody.

[Matt]

It's like, what is it on ebay where you put your max bid and it automatically bumps you up as soon as somebody bids? Oh, yeah, yeah, that. I didn't know that was a thing. When I was younger, I was bidding on ebay and I'm like, there's no way.

[Zayn]

It's like a reserve bid. Like, you already bet ahead. You say, I'll keep betting until it hits this price.

[Heath]

You think there's, like, something funny there too, with.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

But the thing about ebay I hate is that it's like seven days of, like, waiting. If you set an auction on ebay, it's like seven days of waiting. But the only. The excitement comes down in that last 24 hours.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

It's seven days of people just staring at it and being, like, saving it to their watch list, looking out to it, and they just go, go, go, go, go at the last minute, which is. That's where you struggle. If you want to sell something on ebay, do you want to just put it as buy it now and someone can just get it, get it done with? Or do you want to watch, like, it go crazy up? Because you may.

[Matt]

The only thing now I do on ebay is the buy now or best offer ones.

[Heath]

Right.

[Matt]

I'll go in and, like, make offers.

[Zayn]

Oh, you make offers? Yeah, just low ball. I should have done that recently. I just bought something on ebay. I bought a Korean VHS of When Harry Met Sally.

[Heath]

It's on all in Korean.

[Zayn]

I mean, with subtitles, but the whole, like, VHS box is all in Korean. It was, like, pretty, like, rare.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

I'm like, fuck it, I gotta have that. And so. But I. I should have, like, said, like, like 20 bucks. Like, I spent.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Matt]

I like the or best offer stuff.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Heath]

I've only purchased one thing on ebay, just one thing. And I had to because it was the only place they had it. It was the scream mask with the tongue sticking out.

[Mariah]

Oh, really?

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Mariah]

Is that.

[Heath]

It was on that screen sticking out was, like, 250.

[Zayn]

Yeah. Because I bet it was the only one out, like, around the time it's scary movie came out.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Heath]

I don't even know where it is. I. I don't find it.

[Matt]

It'll turn up.

[Heath]

It's somewhere.

[Matt]

It was probably in your evacuation.

[Zayn]

He'll use it again. Or you can resell it.

[Mariah]

No, I want to wear it for home.

[Heath]

No, I want to. It' such a sick mask just to hide, even to, like, hang up. It's like, really?

[Matt]

You can pass that down.

[Heath]

Yeah, exactly.

[Zayn]

Your kid comes over like, where's the mask? Do you realize how much that was? I thought it was just right.

[Heath]

Oh, my God. It's one of those stories.

[Zayn]

You're just like, no, I left it on the porch.

[Heath]

I always think about my brother's Pokemon binder that he had. Oh, my God. It kills me. Kills my brother every day. Every time I bring it up, he just dies on the inside.

[Matt]

And it's gone. Gone. Yeah.

[Heath]

Yeah, yeah. But it was. It was thick, Thick arms.

[Zayn]

I think I took all of mine to college. I had, like, a separate binder for all my holographics, all my rare ones, and a big binder for all just the generic Pokemon. And I think I took that down to college, and I left it on, like, our bookshelf in our living room, and we threw a party, and someone was just like, no.

[Heath]

They knew the value.

[Zayn]

I'd looked everywhere for it, and it's the only time I think I would have had that in my possession and someone could have had access to it.

[Heath]

So do you think there's, like, more people, like, friends than we know, that, like, when they're in other people's houses, like, friends, they just, like, kleptomaniac? Yeah, I think more than we know. Oh, more than we think. Sorry. Not more.

[Matt]

I think it's more than you think, because I don't think again. This is being optimistic. I never think that it's happening.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Matt]

So it would be more than I'm.

[Zayn]

Thinking, but I would think more. I think more of, like, bathroom thieves. Like, people who steal, like, pills, like medication. They're just like. They go, what do they have? Or, like, someone's like, ooh, Adderall.

[Heath]

Like, I can see Danielle, like, taking a couple, like, you know, Addies from.

[Zayn]

You under your eyes.

[Heath]

Yeah. You know, just. Just a little. Little thief.

[Zayn]

Yeah. I also sometimes think about cash. Like, where's, like, my cash? Making sure it's not even, like, a thief. It's just Someone coming over to my house. But, like, I think I trust most.

[Heath]

Yeah, that's like, the easiest thing to steal, too. Like cash chargers.

[Matt]

Chargers.

[Heath]

I. I swear I have a charger thief in this house.

[Matt]

You ever try to, like, bait them?

[Zayn]

Bait them? Like, bait a kleptomaniac Cash out. Or sometimes people will, like, put, like, a whole bunch of, like, marbles in a box, and then you put it behind the medicine cabinet. Oh, and like, you wait. And like, if a guest comes over, they're just like, it all falls everywhere. It's like, what were you looking for? We have everything right here.

[Heath]

I feel bad. If I heard, I'd be like, oh.

[Matt]

Now I gotta confront them.

[Zayn]

I was snooping. I was snooping. Snoop. I never steal. But do you snoop?

[Matt]

Never?

[Heath]

No. Never ever, ever, ever.

[Matt]

I just like this, Matt.

[Zayn]

Yeah, I don't. I will never go into someone's bedroom at someone's house to snoop around. But I'm a bit of, like, a bathroom snooper.

[Mariah]

No, like, I'm just like.

[Matt]

See, like, I'm just like, what's in the drawers?

[Zayn]

I'm not, like, doing an aggressive study, but I'll definitely open up a cabinet. If I'm sitting there and, like, peeing. There's a cabinet in front of me, I'm just like, open it up. You know?

[Heath]

I do. But, like, when I. When I'm like, cleaning my bathroom window and I open a drawer, I do look as if someone else is looking in the store all the time when I'm cleaning. Like, no, just like, in general. Just like, when I'm cleaning, like, just like my bathroom. I would say my bathroom and bedroom are my private, like, private area. If I'm looking in a drawer, I look at it as if someone else is opening the store and looking inside to see.

[Mariah]

Oh, he's saying drawer. I heard store like, three times.

[Heath]

Oh, my bad. Drawer.

[Mariah]

No, no, drawer. Drawer.

[Heath]

I'm sorry, guys. Drawer. Like a drawer.

[Mariah]

Like a draw. A draw.

[Heath]

Drawer was.

[Mariah]

It's a draw.

[Heath]

Like, there's one thing I had in my bathroom that I was so embarrassed. And I remember there was, like, some people in my bathroom, and then they left. And like, days later, I'm looking at the counter and I saw my. My Nair, where you just squeeze it. And I. I remember it, like, sat with me for, like, days. I was like, oh, my God, he.

[Matt]

Bought it after the YouTube video.

[Heath]

I just imagine them going, oh, God. Because I'd put, like, Nair back here because I'd have, like, the lower back hair, right? So I'll just put it there. It was, like, a good spot to put it.

[Zayn]

And it's like your body reveal. Yeah. Yeah.

[Heath]

But then I was also scared someone's gonna put in my shampoo one day, and that terrifies me.

[Zayn]

Someone did that.

[Heath]

That's a crazy prank.

[Zayn]

That's a terrible. Like, that's a crime.

[Matt]

You know what?

[Zayn]

That's a Judge Judy thing. That is perfect. Judge Judy case. Yeah. My friend here pranked me and put Nair in my shampoo. I'm pressing charges.

[Matt]

What pops into my head all the time is when I go to hotels and the shampoo and conditioner bottles that are, like, already used, like.

[Heath]

Oh, you're talking about the ones that are.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

That are filled up by, like, by the maids, by the hospital.

[Matt]

In my head, I'm always like, somebody's spitting in this. Somebody's doing something nasty in it. And I always grosses me out whenever I see ones that are like. Like. Like a communal. That they keep, like, refreshing.

[Zayn]

Yes. Or like, bathroom ones where it's like, yeah, if you can open that up and it's just the liquid right there. It's not the. The soap in a bag.

[Heath]

It shouldn't be like that.

[Zayn]

Disgusted by that. I know. That should be like. That's.

[Matt]

That's like, give me the single use, like, individual wrapped.

[Heath]

I want to open it. I want to open the. The. The little plastic wrap thing.

[Zayn]

There are people out there who just love to.

[Matt]

I know.

[Zayn]

They are mayhem. Just put a little poop in it.

[Mariah]

God.

[Zayn]

Project. Project Mayhem. Just, like, put a little piss a little bit.

[Mariah]

No, don't give people ideas. Cut that.

[Heath]

Oh, you know. Oh, you put it in, like, the face lotion. Oh, little poop.

[Zayn]

I'm always, like, sometimes convinced there's, like, a society of people who, like, refuse to flush. Like, they go into public bathrooms to just, like, all the time.

[Matt]

Whenever I go into public bathroom.

[Zayn]

Someone else's problem.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

Oh, yeah, sorry.

[Mariah]

Toilet.

[Zayn]

Toilet.

[Heath]

You guys. You guys use your foot right when you're.

[Matt]

Yes. Every time.

[Heath]

Good, good, good.

[Matt]

It's the same, though, as the people that will undo the top of the salt shaker.

[Zayn]

Yes.

[Matt]

So they don't even get to see their prank. Like, yeah, that's evil fulfilled. But they just know that they're ruining somebody's day.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Matt]

To leave it like that and just be, like.

[Zayn]

Just psychopathic, those people.

[Mariah]

Psycho.

[Heath]

That's when he looked into, like, actually, like, if you behavior. If you, like, saw someone do that, like, they should be arrested.

[Mariah]

Like, if they get sat and then.

[Heath]

Look at her yeah.

[Mariah]

Out of not even seeing it unfold. You're crazy.

[Zayn]

They're just going to bed at night going, yeah, yeah.

[Mariah]

They get off on, like, imagining how you reacted.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Yeah. Because you know who else do that? Who else does that? People that put bombs places, and then they walk away.

[Zayn]

Okay. Yeah. Well.

[Mariah]

Bomb Talk.

[Heath]

Welcome back to bomb talk 101 with Zayn.

[Mariah]

That's a good name. That is a nice, like, shirt.

[Heath]

My favorite bomb was the lip balm.

[Zayn]

I saw a guy make this tick tock and I thought it was, like, an interesting point. And I've never thought about it. Okay. I'm trying to see. To see what you guys would say. So, Zayn, if last night you put on a movie.

[Heath]

Okay.

[Zayn]

What would you say? How would you say to me that you observed the movie last night? How would you say it?

[Heath]

Hey, I watched the movie last night.

[Zayn]

Okay, great. And if you went to a movie theater to go see a movie, what would you say?

[Heath]

Go see a movie last night.

[Zayn]

You go see a movie. Yeah, we watch, like, exactly. If somebody, like, went to a theater was like, oh, yeah. Or like, they go, yeah, I watched. No, sorry, the movies.

[Heath]

The movies, the movies.

[Matt]

I saw it. If I went to the movie theater.

[Zayn]

Right. And it. But if you see the movie at home, you didn't say that you saw that movie. You watch that movie Weird. Which is like. It's a weird. Like, it's not even, like a grammatical thing. It's a Just a total behavior.

[Mariah]

Things like that. Right.

[Zayn]

I think because it's just a big screen and it's something you are deeply witnessing. You saw that watching something is like. You casually observed it.

[Heath]

How that's crazy.

[Matt]

That, like.

[Zayn]

So if someone goes like, oh, yeah, I watched whatever, like, newest movie that's out in theater. Like, no, Sratu. It's like. Wait, it's streaming right now?

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

You watched it. Where did you watch it at? The only place you watch it would be at home. But if you saw something, it had to have been in the theater.

[Mariah]

It's kind of like inside their stairs, outside their steps.

[Zayn]

Oh, I've never thought about that. Yeah, you're right. You'll watch the steps.

[Mariah]

You heard that? What Matt King said? I'm right.

[Heath]

Can you say that again? I blacked out.

[Zayn]

But stairs have steps, right, though? But, like, you would be.

[Mariah]

Stairs do have steps. One step at a time.

[Zayn]

Steps are weird. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I just thought it was interesting.

[Heath]

Well, I wish I heard that.

[Matt]

What?

[Heath]

But I agree with Matt. If I blacked out when you. When you're talking, of course.

[Mariah]

What else is new?

[Zayn]

Oh, the. There was a meteorite that hit. So where. It was in Alberta, Canada. Well, here's the thing. So a comes home in. Beautiful. They live on St. Edward's island, or Prince Edward Island. I forgot the name of it. And they walk up and they see just this, like, almost like a shattered rock. Looks like someone just threw a snowball, like, on their walkway, like, their front porch.

[Heath]

Okay.

[Zayn]

To their house. And they're just like, where the hell did this come from? Like, did somebody drop something right here to, like, a kid throw a rock? They then go, was there, like a.

[Heath]

Was there, like, a gash?

[Zayn]

No, no, no, no. Just like. Honestly, it looks like if you threw a snowball on the ground, it's like, yeah, okay. Like that kind of a vibe. They then go check their ring cam. They go, what on earth fell here? It. It's just a meteorite that just came down from space. Just goes. And what's crazy about this? This is the first time a meteorite has ever been captured on video with sound. We never known how a meteorite sounds when it hits the Earth. And honestly, it sounds just like a snowball. But it's pretty crazy that this couple caught it. Yes. Right. Yes. I like candy video.

[Mariah]

Oh, my God.

[Zayn]

Yeah. It feels like just like sand or just like a. Really. Because I guess it had disintegrated that deeply throughout the atmosphere. So it was just like, it might have been frozen. It's super flaky. Yeah.

[Heath]

But I don't know if there's a dump. It could, like. It couldn't have been, like, a giant, like, hail, like hail.

[Zayn]

No, there's not. That was a clear day. It was a meteorite just captured. And, like, they took the rocks, went to the scientists. The scientists.

[Heath]

Okay. That's how they figured. Okay. I thought they just assumed it was from, like.

[Zayn]

Can you imagine, though? Like, I still don't think in my head if I saw that. I checked the ring camera, and then that happened. I was like, where on earth would that have come from?

[Heath]

Yeah, that's a crazy.

[Zayn]

Yeah. That you just observed it, honestly. And then I feel like I would have walked up and been like, I don't know what this is, and just washed it off and brushed it off and kept going. But now you have, like, observed, like. Like a huge, I don't know, scientific. I wouldn't say, like, discovery, but just, like, moment.

[Heath]

I would love to. I would love to be in that room just for them to talk about it like, guys.

[Zayn]

Oh.

[Heath]

Like, because they, like, this is their first time, they see like, footage of it.

[Zayn]

I want to be like, invited to like, all the big science conferences. Just like, just be like, can I get invited to the summit? Like, I was the guy whose meteorite hit in front of my house. Couldn't believe it.

[Heath]

I'm a free ticket.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Matt]

He deserves it. The. You see the. The people on the beach that were digging like a big hole and they left it like, just like a giant hole in the sand. And then some like, not meteorologist, but.

[Zayn]

Some buddy called into the news and.

[Matt]

Said, no, some guy is just like super space, like, very, like in like, whatever. And he's on the news getting interviewed and he's like, you can tell this is where the asteroids. And he's on the news, like, saying like. Like, this is the indentation. The way it spreads out. You can tell that the asteroid came from this way.

[Heath]

Oh, no.

[Matt]

And then.

[Zayn]

And he himself is a qualified scientist. I don't. Bullshitting.

[Matt]

He was an amateur meteorologist, something or whatever.

[Zayn]

That guy's hilarious. If he was bullshitting.

[Matt]

No, he was dead serious, like, trying to like, make something out of it. But really they found the video of the other people digging the hole. It's just a really funny.

[Zayn]

What?

[Mariah]

Matt, do you know Tanner from Love on the Spectrum?

[Zayn]

Yes. Which one is he?

[Mariah]

He looks just like you, apparently.

[Zayn]

Oh, is he the one who's like, really happy?

[Mariah]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

Mom, I love you.

[Mariah]

His live. Him and his mom were live and they brought you up.

[Zayn]

What?

[Matt]

No way.

[Mariah]

She said that him and his mother are reading the comments to him. He said, tanner, do you know Matt King? And Tanner said, I don't. His mother said, someone said, you look like Matt King. And Tanner said, I have to look him up.

[Heath]

Oh, wow.

[Zayn]

Oh, my God.

[Mariah]

That's cool.

[Heath]

That's it. Look at that.

[Zayn]

That's Matt. Am I right about.

[Mariah]

He's a fan favorite. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zayn]

Yes, yes. Tanner. Oh.

[Heath]

Oh, my God. That does.

[Zayn]

Yeah, we do. We do kind of look related.

[Heath]

The hair.

[Zayn]

Yeah. Wow.

[Matt]

Very similar face shape.

[Zayn]

I wonder if anyone. If anyone has that screen recording of that live. Please let me know. Oh, my gosh.

[Heath]

It's like, that's so funny. Your mom was just watching that. I didn't even think. She goes on Instagram.

[Matt]

No.

[Mariah]

I'm like, get.

[Heath]

She.

[Mariah]

She is chronically online.

[Matt]

He looks more like your brother than your brother.

[Mariah]

That's so true.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Heath]

I love a good old fashioned, like, like phone. Phone call prank.

[Zayn]

Right?

[Heath]

People are posting these days on TikTok. It's just so funny. Like the one I sent you. Samantha from finance.

[Zayn]

Oh, yeah. She prank phone a girl prank phone called her aunt and who just bought a car, and she goes, hey, yeah, this is. I don't know, maybe Olivia from Finance.

[Heath]

Samantha from finance.

[Zayn]

Oh, yeah, Samantha sounded like.

[Heath]

It just sounded like a scam.

[Zayn]

She purchased a car, right? Was it a Mercedes? Yeah. Well, turns out that that car actually was a stolen car, so we're gonna need to get it back. She's like, really?

[Heath]

And, yeah, and I just got it from a dealership. They're like, yeah, we're so sorry, man. She's like, what dealership did I get it from? You should have that on your record.

[Matt]

She was like, I love what people call the bs.

[Zayn]

Immediate. Yes.

[Heath]

So she's. But she's also, like, the mom. You could also tell, like, she really thinks it's, like, true. But, like, this is how I'm being told. Like, this is ridiculous. And then the last thing that she says, she goes, all right, well, the police. Police. Well, the police is on their way, and they're gonna tow that car out. She's like, you try. You try to tow that car out of my. Out of my parking.

[Matt]

Good luck.

[Heath]

Out of my driveway. Oh, my God. It was so funny. I was cracking up. I just want to do. I want to do all type of.

[Mariah]

That to my mom, Zayn, in his prank era.

[Heath]

I really am. I can. It's just. There's so. There's so much, like, through it.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

So many ideas on there. Oh, these kids are so funny. Gen Z, y'all funny. Y'all funny with your parents. Parents.

[Zayn]

I have just too much social anxiety where if I get a call out of nowhere, I'm like, they can leave a voicemail. Yeah.

[Mariah]

If it's that important.

[Zayn]

I don't even.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

I can't even answer the idea of a phone call coming through. Not that you can't see.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

I'm just like. I'm not answering that. I have no clue who that is.

[Matt]

What was that one thing you said.

[Zayn]

To me the other day?

[Matt]

You have the same feeling when you get a phone call.

[Mariah]

Oh, man, she worded it so funny. My brain thinks getting an email is equivalent to me getting kidnapped. Yeah, that's me with a phone call. When the phone. I'm like, I can't. I physically can't answer it. I cannot answer it. I have such phone anxiety.

[Matt]

You're so much better, though. Like, when we first started dating, like, you wouldn't even call to order A pizza?

[Mariah]

Well, no, that was the one thing I could do. I. It was like, night and day.

[Matt]

But like any other.

[Mariah]

Any other food. No, like, takeout.

[Zayn]

There's a structure.

[Mariah]

I don't know what it is. I don't know what happened to me.

[Heath]

As a kid, but I'm calling Mariah about something, like, for the podcast, whatever, and she knows I don't answer, and I immediately call Heath, and he's like, hey, what's up? I was like, like, can you put them right? He'll bring to her. She's like, hey, what's up? Like, doesn't even acknowledge that she ignored my call. I just know that I have to just call you.

[Matt]

Answering from her phone is like a no.

[Mariah]

Yeah, but I just can't do it. Like, my.

[Matt]

My heart stops when I'm on the.

[Zayn]

Phone with customer service people. I always, like, pay attention, really close to when they say their name. Like, hey, this is Andrew with Marriott Bonvoy. What's. How can I help you? I'm like, hey, Andrew, listen. I always say their name back to them.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

Dominance through all of. Because the thing is, they're dealing with calls all day and a lot of people awful to them. Yeah. So if you just, like, keep saying their name like, Andrew, it would just make like, this is what I'm going through. How can you help me, Andrew? Like, I'll say it so much. They love it. They love it. Like, oh, thank you.

[Heath]

I'm getting a lot better with that. Normally, like, in person, I don't give an ounce. I don't even try in person. But, like, on a call with a customer. Sir, I'm so good. I'm so. I'm so.

[Matt]

You have a specific customer service voice.

[Heath]

Yeah. And I. I had to learn it, too, because I was really bad. I used to be really bad. And then I just learned that, like. Like, their end, like, they're getting so many shitty people. Is that if you just.

[Zayn]

You know what, though? Sometimes they're so great. Do you do the survey at the end?

[Heath]

I don't.

[Zayn]

Thank you so much for being on here. If you could just hang on for just a couple minutes. There's a really quick survey, and it would really help me out. I'm like, you know what? How about just do a voice message? And I'll be like, andrew was the best customer service representative. He is awesome. 5 stars. Incredible. Make it that. Make it a voice recording. I don't want to do. On a scale of satisfaction, if it's.

[Heath]

If they're on the phone I'll do it. But, like, if it's, like, the automated, then I'm not.

[Zayn]

Right.

[Mariah]

The only review I've ever left was leaving a restaurant. And they have the buttons with the smiley faces. I'm like, green.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Matt]

You ring the bell as you walk out.

[Mariah]

Happy face.

[Heath]

They have, like, the ones with the buttons, though.

[Zayn]

I'm like, is someone coming, like, going, like, Like. But, like, no, like, double doing it. Thanks a lot.

[Heath]

They had a lot of international terminals, right?

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Heath]

I think they're big in Europe.

[Zayn]

Airports. Yeah.

[Matt]

Did you just the blarney stuff, Stone.

[Zayn]

Oh, I did not kiss a Barney Stone. Why didn't we kiss the Barney Stone? I think my dad thought it was, like, overrated and didn't want to do it. You have to wait in line for, like, a long time.

[Matt]

Why was that ram down our, like, throats as a kid in, like, every single.

[Mariah]

I think it was in our textbook.

[Matt]

I feel like the only thing I learned about in school was the Blarney Stone.

[Zayn]

For some reason, it's a little treacherous or it's a bit of a stunt. When you have to kiss the Blarney Stone, it's not like a little rock. There you go. You have to get on your back, put your head over an open clip stiff, and then kiss something like here. And, like, kiss it.

[Matt]

Do people have to hold your feet so you don't, like.

[Mariah]

They just, like, kind of hold, like, you. There's bars, I think.

[Zayn]

Yeah. You're like, oh, I'm sorry.

[Heath]

Everyone's kissing the same stone.

[Zayn]

Yes. It's kind of disgusting. Yeah.

[Matt]

That's how you get mono.

[Heath]

Look at that. That's gross. It's almost your time. The. The beaver. What's that whole thing? The.

[Zayn]

The groundhog.

[Heath]

Whatever. Yes. I just saw posts. I saw posts.

[Zayn]

It's on Sunday, fe second, so you got to get up. Really? Thing is, it's just so early for us. Why don't you go this year? Because the Grammys are happening on Sunday.

[Heath]

You don't like to miss that because.

[Zayn]

Yeah, well, I'd like to be in town for the Gravies for, like, after parties.

[Heath]

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

[Zayn]

Yeah. Gotta celebrate.

[Heath]

Do you. Do you also, like, do the guest, like, you guess every single movie that's gonna win? Do you have, like, a game that you play?

[Zayn]

It's really tough because I think music is something that's, like, not. Yeah. Grammys is all, like, personal taste, like, so I don't know really what the best country album is or best jazz album and all of that stuff. I'm big about Album of the year, Record of the year, Song of the year, best new artist. Those are kind of the only ones I pay attention to. But my predictions, I think that brat is going to be album of the Year. Song of the year is going to be. Good Luck, Babe by Chapel Roan. And record of the year is.

[Heath]

It still hasn't happened yet. That's crazy.

[Matt]

Just so we can come back to it.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

Yeah. Oh, no. Maybe. Maybe I'll get it.

[Heath]

You said it was February, the beginning of February.

[Zayn]

February 2nd.

[Heath]

Okay, that's. I'm actually. I'm actually going to be at the Grammys.

[Zayn]

Are you really? I'm.

[Heath]

I'm. I'm hosting it. I'm going to bring out Charlie X.

[Zayn]

The Up. Yeah.

[Heath]

They want me to dress like her for a bit.

[Zayn]

It's going to be a riot. Z. Yeah. Obs, Groundhog Day is coming up. Do we want to make predictions if it's going to be an early spring or a late winter?

[Heath]

Late winter.

[Matt]

I think you still owe me money from the.

[Zayn]

I do. How much do I owe you? 50 bucks.

[Matt]

I don't know.

[Zayn]

Can you all find that out in the comments? I do owe you money. Thanks.

[Heath]

I don't even remember that. That whole. The whole bet that you guys.

[Zayn]

We did. It was last year sitting in these seats. And I bet it was 50 bucks.

[Matt]

Run it back, double or nothing.

[Zayn]

But wait, it's not gonna happen. Will this episode be out by the time it happens or. No, we'll be recording next time. Next week.

[Matt]

Yes.

[Zayn]

Because it's end of next weekend.

[Heath]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. So next week. Next week.

[Zayn]

Well, the Groundhog edits go hard. This year is back. Rihanna song. It's like.

[Heath]

Yeah, that's the one I saw two days ago.

[Zayn]

Who's gonna run this town?

[Heath]

They're so big, like just the.

[Zayn]

They just make it look like it's the biggest event.

[Matt]

You know?

[Heath]

Rihanna loves those others.

[Zayn]

Yeah, yeah, definitely.

[Heath]

Did you see her husband was ASAP Rocky the whole trial?

[Zayn]

Yeah. He might be facing 24 years.

[Matt]

No way.

[Heath]

That's crazy. I didn't even know this was like.

[Zayn]

This was a Switzerland. What country is it? Scandinavian country.

[Matt]

What happened?

[Zayn]

Oh, the trial. SAP Rockies, allegedly for firing a gun at former friend in November of 2021 is underway in LA after he turned down a final prosecution plea offer of 180 days in jail. So he basically is charged with two felony counts of semi of assault with the semi automatic firearm stemming from an alleged dispute asap.

[Heath]

Would never shoot with that outside.

[Zayn]

I don't think it's in Hollywood.

[Heath]

No. And they said it was his friend.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Me and Heath, all the time, we glock it up. You know, sometimes that bullet goes up. You know, he has just making it.

[Matt]

Up because he said glock it up.

[Zayn]

I feel like if you were just that successful of a rapper, you've been around the block so many times, you're so new to fame, you know how to, to like handle anger and conflict. I doubt you're like bringing out a Glock. And he was shooting it in Hollywood in 2020.

[Matt]

It's not like it was like new fame.

[Zayn]

Right. It's like a father.

[Matt]

That's crazy.

[Heath]

And if, and if Rihanna was my wife with a kid, I, you know, that life would. That life would be over for me. Yeah.

[Zayn]

He should also win best music video of the year. Have you seen that music video? Taylor Swift? What? The name of the song is not Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift?

[Heath]

No, I've never even heard that song.

[Zayn]

It's the craziest music video. You're gonna be like, this is the best music video I've ever seen. Seen.

[Heath]

Why haven't you? Why did you send it to me? You know I love a good music video.

[Zayn]

I'm so surprised I have not sent it to you. It.

[Heath]

I'll watch it asap.

[Zayn]

Called Taylor Swift Swift.

[Heath]

They shot it good.

[Matt]

We'll get a live reaction.

[Heath]

Oh, my live reaction.

[Zayn]

Bad ass new song. Because I was with a. Oh, I was with some friends and they were all like going, Charlie XCX360. I go, you guys have not seen Taylor Swift music video. And they were like, oh, yeah, really? Show us, show us it. I played it and they were like, damn, that's gonna win. Like it's that good.

[Heath]

Damn, I can't wait.

[Zayn]

Oh, I found this really fun game. We can't like play it because it's a little visual, but I think you would like it. It's called a time guesser. So you know geoguessr where they drop you somewhere on earth and you have to this, you're given a photo and it's from some moment in time. It could be. You have to guess what year it is. So you have a tracker. You go, I think this is 1950, 57. And then you look at the details and you go, oh, this looks like it would be like in Slovakia in 1957. Sometimes you can like piece little details. You have to guess the place as well and the year that.

[Heath]

It's not a game for me.

[Zayn]

And they have a new, a new Round of. It's five rounds and they have, like, a new set every day. You can play those type of games.

[Heath]

I think there should be, like, a money prize. It's. I think it's so talented when you could like.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Tell. That's it.

[Zayn]

Yeah. Where? Somewhere. Is that.

[Heath]

That.

[Matt]

Well, they have competitions with geoguessr.

[Zayn]

Yeah, they do.

[Matt]

They do, yeah.

[Heath]

Is that kid still doing. I know he's still. Probably still doing it, but, like, has.

[Matt]

Has.

[Zayn]

He needs to work for the FBI?

[Heath]

Yes. Like, what's.

[Zayn]

What's going on about his whole thing about Gordon Ramsay. So Gordon Ramsay posted a photo of him in a private jet.

[Mariah]

I just.

[Zayn]

On a Runway. And the geoguessr guy was like, so Gordon, see that? You posted this photo? And everyone was. Wanted to know where it was. And clearly this is like Nevada, but right around Vegas, there's all these airports. And none of the ridge lines line up with these ridgelines. And the only place in Nevada that has this exact ridgeline with a fence right there is Area 51.

[Mariah]

And then he showed Area 51's mountains and he, like, transitioned them and they match up perfectly.

[Heath]

Now there's like a fence.

[Zayn]

Gordon Ramsay. Is he in Area 51? I don't know. Part of me. I think it's a whole publicity.

[Heath]

Yeah. I feel like they wouldn't let him post that.

[Mariah]

I don't know. I think he's cooking something up.

[Zayn]

Maybe extraterrestrials. Butter. What have you got now? Let me just say, I never want you working.

[Heath]

This alien's gonna try my. Get out.

[Zayn]

Out, out, out. You.

[Matt]

You.

[Heath]

That'd be a great episode.

[Mariah]

Are you a bloody alien?

[Heath]

Oh, my God. That's like. That's a great episode. Like him with, like, aliens like, trying his food for the first time. Like, this is American food.

[Mariah]

Oh, my. It's like the last supper. But aliens.

[Heath]

Yeah. Oh, my God. I. I just like. I want that to come out before I die. You know what I mean?

[Zayn]

I've been reading this crazy book called Project Hail Mary. Same guy who wrote the Martian. Do you remember that movie with.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

Matt Damas one is basically this. Algae is like, taking over Earth, the sun, and we're losing sunlight. And, like, it's gonna get like 2 degrees, like, colder every year. And basically humanity only has, like, 40 more years to live. And he's like this scientist who gets sent off into space to try to like, solve.

[Matt]

Kill the algae or whatever.

[Heath]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zayn]

And it's so good. I've been reading it and it's such a page turner. But and they're making it a movie. And Ryan Gosling is playing it.

[Matt]

Of course.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Heath]

You love Ryan Gosling. There you go.

[Matt]

I'm obsessed.

[Zayn]

Project Hail Mary by Andrew Adam Weir.

[Heath]

I love the project Hail Mary.

[Zayn]

Yeah. That's the name of the football movie title, too. It is.

[Heath]

Yeah. I know my football. Football plays.

[Matt]

It's the annexation of Puerto Rico.

[Heath]

Have you ever been there?

[Mariah]

I have.

[Heath]

You have?

[Mariah]

I have.

[Zayn]

Oh, do you know Dominic Rodriguez?

[Mariah]

Is that a.

[Zayn]

He's a kid who just left my hometown in, like, third grade to go live in Puerto Rico.

[Heath]

Right.

[Zayn]

There's a lot of Dominic Rodriguez is out there. But I'm always asking, where's Dominic?

[Matt]

I want to go to Cuba so bad and see all the old cars. Oh, that is my dream.

[Zayn]

Yeah. There's, like, no new cars in Cuba.

[Heath]

It's all fresh Cuban coffee.

[Matt]

Stop.

[Zayn]

Go to Havana.

[Mariah]

Cars and coffee.

[Heath]

Havana.

[Matt]

That is all over Cuba. Cuba. They stopped getting new cars.

[Zayn]

Wow.

[Matt]

Everything there is, like 1950s American cars.

[Heath]

Oh, he. I can see you moving there. Just move there.

[Matt]

Isn't that beautiful?

[Zayn]

I don't think you want to live in Cuba.

[Heath]

Yeah, of course you do. Look at the car.

[Matt]

It is my favorite food.

[Zayn]

Isn't like a communist country if they.

[Matt]

If they cook that. Give me some rope of.

[Heath]

Yeah, I want some communist food then.

[Matt]

Did you know that Buffalo. Buffalo. Buffalo. Buffalo is a legit sentence.

[Heath]

I'm sorry.

[Mariah]

I learned that in my agenda.

[Matt]

Buffalo. Buffalo. Buffalo. Buffalo. Buffalo is a real sentence.

[Heath]

Is buffalo another def. Is there another. Another definition for buffalo?

[Matt]

So buffalo from. Buffalo. Buffalo. Buffalo. Buffalo.

[Zayn]

Come again? Wait.

[Heath]

I. He.

[Zayn]

Buff.

[Mariah]

Buffalo. Buffalo. Buffalo. Buffalo. Buffalo. Buffalo. Buffalo.

[Zayn]

Buffalo is a grammatically correct sentence used as an example of how homonyms and homophones can be used to create complicated constructs. The sentence unpunctuate. The sentence is unpunctuated and uses three different readings of the word buffalo. So you could use the verb buffalo.

[Matt]

Meaning to confuse or deceive, and you're talking about the animal buffalo from the city Buffalo, New York. So buffalo, the city. So buffalo. Animal. Buffalo. Buffalo.

[Zayn]

That's not Buffalo's. Buffalo. Shouldn't there be, like, some position?

[Heath]

It doesn't. It still. It's.

[Zayn]

No. So you're talking about, like, Texas buffalo. Okay, so buffalo. Buffalo.

[Heath]

Okay. All right.

[Matt]

Fuse. Buffalo. City. Buffalo. Animal.

[Zayn]

Oh. Follow it completely. There's not really like. But the word.

[Matt]

It would be, like, Texas buffalo. Confused. Texas buffalo.

[Zayn]

Because buffalo can be used for confusion.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

Okay.

[Heath]

It keeps going, though. Look, there's. There's like, three more buffaloes.

[Zayn]

Because the cat. I don't know about the capital, Buff. The capital B, like, is the place. So. Buffalo. Buffalo. I can't even.

[Matt]

That one I can't do. But I have the five buffalo in a row.

[Heath]

That's crazy.

[Zayn]

That's pretty wild.

[Heath]

I didn't know buffalo meant to confuse, like, the. Like, use that in, like, a regular sentence.

[Matt]

I don't think people are.

[Mariah]

Is that where baffled comes from?

[Matt]

Something maybe like that. Like, I was.

[Zayn]

Man, that guy really buffaloed me last night. Yeah.

[Heath]

Wait.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Heath]

I love. I love that.

[Zayn]

Yeah. Buff.

[Matt]

Like, Zane's gonna start saying it on the back.

[Heath]

I am gonna start saying it.

[Zayn]

Yeah. Yeah. The guy really.

[Heath]

Dude, last night really buffaloed me. I. You saw what he said to us.

[Zayn]

He was pulling a buffalo. Dude.

[Matt]

It's really cool, though.

[Zayn]

That's really cool. Have you seen water buffalo?

[Matt]

Yes.

[Zayn]

Like that one. I thought water buffalo, like, didn't exist. I just remember that veggie tail songs like, do you have a water buffalo? Mine is fat and yours is slow. Everybody has a water buffalo. You never watch Veggie Tales.

[Mariah]

I know what it is. I've never. I wasn't into it. I was watching Scream.

[Zayn]

Well, I just thought Mariah grew up in a good little household. No. Watching her veggie tails.

[Heath]

And they don't even. Veggies.

[Matt]

They eat, like, pasta, so macaroni, pizzera.

[Zayn]

Yeah, but water buffalo are like buffalo that, like, swim in the water. Like, they're crazy from, like, above.

[Matt]

Seeing a water buffalo, though, dude, a water.

[Zayn]

No, water buffalo is terrifying. When I first saw a video, I'm like, is that a manta ray? What is that? Look up buffalo. Water buffalo underwater.

[Matt]

Look up buffalo. Buffalo. Buffalo underwater.

[Zayn]

Imagine seeing that freak me out.

[Matt]

That's pretty insane.

[Zayn]

That's crazy. They actually.

[Heath]

I thought, how long underwater for?

[Zayn]

I think they can hold their breath for a long time. It's a water buffalo.

[Heath]

That's. That. That's a sick photo. That's like the Nirvana album cover.

[Matt]

Oh, Matt, I gotta tell you about the mall that we went to out in New Jersey.

[Zayn]

Yes.

[Matt]

It's called the American Dream Mall.

[Zayn]

Okay.

[Matt]

I'm pretty sure it's made by the people that make Mall of America.

[Zayn]

Sounds like it.

[Matt]

It's 3 million square feet.

[Mariah]

It is officially. They opened in 2019.

[Matt]

Yes.

[Mariah]

It's officially the second largest mall in America.

[Zayn]

Oh, boy. After the Mall of America.

[Mariah]

So.

[Zayn]

Yeah, definitely.

[Mariah]

And it's very close to our venue, so if you guys want to check it out. It is like a fever dream.

[Heath]

What's the Top three craziest things in this mall.

[Matt]

There's a full.

[Mariah]

There's a full amusement park. Like three roller coasters.

[Heath]

Like. Like actual.

[Matt]

Like, you have to see pictures. There's a full water park inside them all.

[Zayn]

Yeah. Wow.

[Matt]

We were joking around, and I was telling her about the mall in Dubai that I went to, and I was like, it was insane. We were walking around. All of a sudden I turned and there was an ind, like, ski lift for snowboarding.

[Heath]

My God, look at that.

[Zayn]

Matt.

[Matt]

We're walking through.

[Zayn]

Oh, boy.

[Matt]

We're walking through the mall and I see this store called Big Snow. And I was like, oh, let's just go look at snowboards and, like, snow gear. So we're walking up to it, and all of a sudden I see a guy walking out in full gear. Snowboard, boots, everything. I was like, that dude's excited. He just bought some new gear. We keep walking. We go into the store. All of a sudden you can look through the glass, and there's a snow ski lift indoors, indoor, that you like. Like, it is crazy.

[Zayn]

This is the one in New Jersey. Wow.

[Heath]

You know what that looks like? That looks like a dad who had a son and he let his son decide what goes on in this mall. Yeah. It's like, whatever you want, kid.

[Matt]

You dream it. We'll make it.

[Mariah]

It was so freaking cool. Zayn, they had an Oreo. An entire Oreo store, but it was Oreo cafe.

[Matt]

And you could get any Oreo saying it was huge.

[Heath]

Get the out Oreo shake you want.

[Matt]

They will make whatever dessert. That's Oreo.

[Mariah]

Look at this.

[Zayn]

Oh, my.

[Matt]

Look at the giant Oreo.

[Heath]

I want that in my bedroom. The cookie ceiling.

[Matt]

Oh, my God, Zane, you would have lost your mind.

[Heath]

Oh, my God. I'm going to go.

[Mariah]

It's so crazy that, like, you can, like, walk into an H and M and then go skiing like, in the same place. There's a water park, there's amusement park, there's arcades there. There's multiple mini golf.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Mariah]

There's a whole ice rink.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

How far is this from your wedding?

[Mariah]

20 minutes.

[Zayn]

Oh, my gosh. Really?

[Mariah]

That's why we went. Yeah.

[Heath]

Stupidly packed, though.

[Mariah]

It was not what. Nobody talks about it on the East Coast. It's nobody. Even my mom was like, how come I've never heard of this? Like, nobody's talking about it. It's so.

[Matt]

It was really empty.

[Mariah]

It was really empty.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Mariah]

And we went on a weekend. I was so overstimulated, so it's so big and all the kids are at the amusement park or they're skiing and doing those activities.

[Heath]

But like I have to go five days in advance. I, I gotta, I want to work there.

[Mariah]

The Ferris wheel. 30 minutes. You're on the Ferris wheel.

[Matt]

One circle.

[Zayn]

Oh, a proper ride that's longer than the London eye.

[Mariah]

Look at it.

[Matt]

Crazy. This, it was, it was stunning.

[Zayn]

Wow.

[Mariah]

And there you get a view of this, this city from there.

[Zayn]

Yeah. The, the skyline of Manhattan.

[Mariah]

How cool is that?

[Heath]

I would never do like an influencer type video like my day at the blah blah blah. I'm doing it for Oreo.

[Matt]

You would have to do.

[Heath]

No, no, actually like I'm the full influencer. Like Remy Ashton. Like full blown. I am doing it. I'm gonna be at this place for three hours. I'm gonna get my biggest video.

[Matt]

It took us more than three hours to walk the whole place.

[Mariah]

Oh Zane. It's the perfect mall to sit at a bar, get drunk and go shopping.

[Zayn]

I see the water.

[Mariah]

Perfect.

[Heath]

I don't.

[Matt]

The restaurant. No park. The restaurants are insane in there.

[Mariah]

Like yeah, the restaurants are crazy. They Mr. Beast had a whole restaurant.

[Matt]

It was, it was crazy.

[Heath]

This is something Mr. Beast would put out for sure. Yeah.

[Matt]

It's probably his mole.

[Heath]

That's, that's amazing.

[Zayn]

So it's a wave pool.

[Matt]

There's water slides. This is in the mall. Zane.

[Zayn]

Wow. Is there a hotel in the mall too that you could like stay?

[Matt]

Nickelodeon. I think the Nickelodeon resort because the theme park park is Nickelodeon.

[Zayn]

Oh, saying the spongebob suite.

[Mariah]

Yeah. Look at the, the rooms.

[Matt]

Yes.

[Heath]

We have to go.

[Zayn]

He's going to be busy.

[Heath]

He's getting, he's going to make time.

[Zayn]

Heath, where are you? In the Ferris wheel. How many more minutes do we have? We have to get to the venue now.

[Heath]

It's the hangover. But he's, he's lost in this mall.

[Matt]

I can't even imagine what kids feel like walking in there because I was, my jaw was on the floor the entire time.

[Heath]

This is cooler than Disney World. World.

[Matt]

No, I would much rather be here. You can do so much more here than in like just a regular theme park. That's cool.

[Mariah]

You could take your kid here and do all year round activities in, in one day or one weekend.

[Zayn]

Oh yeah.

[Mariah]

So cool.

[Heath]

And it's like you, there's no stress of like going to a theme park and like that big.

[Zayn]

Right.

[Heath]

It's like going to the Sawgrass mall. Yep.

[Mariah]

Oh, you could get a skybox suite at the water park.

[Matt]

Unbelievable.

[Heath]

We're getting it.

[Zayn]

Oh and it looks into the water park.

[Mariah]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

Whoa.

[Mariah]

It's crazy. So seeing this, I actually could not wrap my head around the Mall of America.

[Matt]

There's no way Mall of America is 5 million square feet.

[Heath]

And where is that one?

[Matt]

Minnesota.

[Mariah]

And then the one in Minnesota and then the one in Dubai is 12 million. Right.

[Zayn]

I've been to that one. That one.

[Mariah]

He was there too.

[Zayn]

So you can only sell like a quarter of them all. Because I was like, I don't know.

[Mariah]

There's no way you could do the whole thing.

[Matt]

12.1 million square feet. Feet. And this is three minutes.

[Heath]

Wait, why is that one in Minnesota? It's such a random spot.

[Zayn]

They gotta have something interesting in Minnesota, I guess. And I mean, like, it's really cold in Minnesota, so you can't have like, outlet, like outdoor malls and stuff. So just like, if you build it big in the Mall of America.

[Heath]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Zayn]

I don't know, like why out of all places, they pick that to be it.

[Heath]

But it makes it. But you said it makes sense. Like how like pick a state that's like, it will attract people to go to the.

[Zayn]

Stay there and stay indoors because they don't. Can't be outside inside because it's so cold.

[Heath]

Exactly. And it brings and it helps. Like, like this, like the state for, like, for tourism.

[Zayn]

I just want to see the queen of shell shock at the Mall of America.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Thought it would cost to build. What's your guess on this mall?

[Zayn]

And let me just put this in perspective.

[Matt]

Sofi Stadium is 5.5 billion.

[Zayn]

Oh.

[Heath]

Cost. 7 billion. Billion.

[Zayn]

2 billion.

[Matt]

5.

[Heath]

Very close.

[Matt]

And this looks way crazier than Sofi Stadium.

[Heath]

It's levels.

[Mariah]

I think I said this before, but when I was younger, every time I tell people this, they're like, you're alone on that one. I. In my head, I thought the Mall of America stretched across. I thought like, Wisconsin, Minnesota. Like, I had this vision of it. I convinced myself as a child.

[Zayn]

Right?

[Mariah]

As a child. Yeah. I was. Was like six.

[Zayn]

Right.

[Mariah]

I. Every time I think of the Mall of America, I picture it because you know why?

[Matt]

The name is deceiving.

[Mariah]

You know why? If you type in, like, where. Where is the Mall of America located? And you pull up a map of the United States, they put a bigger picture of it.

[Zayn]

Right.

[Mariah]

So it kind of looks like. Damn.

[Zayn]

Yeah. Like the, you know, amusement park map is the whole state. It's like the Emerald City. It's just like, huge.

[Matt]

It was probably on those Nickelodeon magazines.

[Heath]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matt]

It gets the kids hyped.

[Zayn]

Up, tell your parents. Get yourself Nickelodeon magazine.

[Heath]

That's sick. That's cool. I'm, I'm, I'm definitely going to go to it. I'm 100% going to go to it sometime before.

[Matt]

It's really, really cool.

[Heath]

Well, what a roller coaster of an episode.

[Mariah]

Very good. I hope you were amused.

[Matt]

Good, Bubba.

[Heath]

All right. Well, guys, thank you so much for being with us on another episode. We love you so much. You could check out our patreon patreon.com Zan Heath where you can get pay $5 a month and you get everything in our, what the hell you call everything in our bank.

[Matt]

Access to everything we've ever posted on Patreon. We keep these cameras rolling so you get an extended cut of every single episode. You get early access to every episode ad free. We also do a bonus episode every single month, a live Q and A every single month. Month. And as soon as you sign up, you can get all of it again. Patreon.com Zayan Heath if you want to check it out, you can check out.

[Heath]

These episodes every Monday audio form on all the podcast platforms and every Tuesday video form on YouTube.com Zayn and Heath.

[Matt]

Well, we're going to jump into the unwind right now. Thank you guys for watching another episode. We love you and we'll see you next week.

[Mariah]

Ciao.

[Zayn]

Peace.

[Heath]

All right, let's watch this music video.