301: Surprising Them With The Biggest Artist In The World

Summary

Zane and Heath: Unfiltered – Episode 301 “Surprising Them with Our Biggest Guest Yet…”

Date: September 29, 2025
Hosts: Zane, Heath, Matt

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Zane and Heath reunite in a brand-new studio space, reflecting on life updates, big changes, and expecting even bigger surprises—literally. The main draw: a dramatic, truly secret surprise guest performance teased throughout, aiming for their most spectacular episode ending yet. Along the way, the trio dives into everything from baby anticipation, moving stories, TikTok trends and scams, hoarding confessions, pets and luxury animals, travel tales, and a conversation about horror movie villains they think they could beat.

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Table of Contents

• New Studio, New Beginnings – 02:30
• Personal Life Updates: Moves & Babies – 08:14
• Pregnancy Talk: Cravings, Names, and Planning – 08:52
• AI Baby Mashups and Anticipation – 20:42
• Viral Trends & TikTok Scams – 29:27
• Moving, Organizing, and Hoarding Confessions – 51:36
• Pet Dreams: Dogs, Cats, and Bengals – 69:46
• Travel Diaries: Croatia, Greece & Nude Beach Adventures – 75:16
• Surprise Guest Set-Up! – 81:13
• Notable Quotes & Moments
• Episode Summary and Takeaways

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New Studio, New Beginnings

[02:30–07:59]

• The show marks a return after a short hiatus, setting up a new era in a new studio (courtesy of friends David Albers and Hunter March at Poppy Studio).
• Hilarious confusion surrounding the studio’s name leads to riffs about “Poppy Soda Studio.”
• Nostalgic mention: much of the furniture is rehomed from Zane and Heath’s old house.
• The camaraderie and energy feel “intimate” in the new space, with the hosts commenting, “it already feels so good” ([07:32]).

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Personal Life Updates: Moves & Babies

[08:14–20:10]

• Heath shares about relocating to Nashville and juggling wedding trips, backpacking excursions, and filming.
• Mariah (Heath’s wife) is doing well at 7.5 months pregnant, staying “active, still dancing” ([11:09]).
• The group discusses the hardships of moving while expecting, furniture sales, and DIY baby furniture solutions from their own childhoods (“my parents just pulled the sock drawer out and let me sleep in there”—Heath, [16:44]).
• Baby anticipation is hitting different as the due date draws closer, but the reality hasn't fully sunk in for Heath.

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Pregnancy Talk: Cravings, Names, and Planning

[08:52–21:45]

• Discussion of pregnancy cravings: “Anything cold. Cold fruit, cold vegetables, salad... just good.” – Heath ([12:04]).
• Ongoing baby name debates—trying for something Italian-sounding but original.
  • “We Googled Italian boy names and just scrolled.” – Heath ([15:33])
  • Neighbor friends inadvertently “take” their favorite name, making it awkward to use.
• Nursery plans, anxieties about preparedness, and group baby name reveal policies.
• AI-generated mashups (via ChatGPT) of Heath and Mariah’s faces to predict their baby’s look is met with laughter and awe: “That’s a cutie patootie!” – Matt ([26:24]).
• Philosophical reflections on parental subjectivity (“Every parent thinks their kid is the cutest thing in the world. Then you look back like… maybe it wasn’t.” – Zane, [23:33]).

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AI Baby Mashups and Anticipation

[20:42–28:38]

• Fun conversation about morphing faces with AI (“You should! It’s crazy...” – Matt, [20:57]); leads into a larger discussion about whose genes emerge at which ages.
• The hosts joke about entering their baby into the Gerber Baby contest (with a $25,000 prize and a year of products), but also poke fun at the idea of judging baby cuteness: “Imagine looking at the top 10 Gerber baby finalists and just seeing how adorable…” – Zane ([29:19])
• Reflection on the culture of parental boasting, jokes about entering child modeling, and the oddity of baby contests.

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Viral Trends & TikTok Scams

[29:27–47:47]

• Matt rants about TikTok live “scam” streams (the infamous “bag of fish food about to drop but never does”, [31:14]).
  • “[I] had that on for 30 minutes… the bag never drops… they’re just scamming you.” – Matt
• Discussion on clickbait, shop commissions, and deceptive trend-hustling content:
  • “It’s the same thing. You think you’re about to get whatever and you have been lied to.” – Zane ([34:27])
• TikTok shop product purchases—hosts admit to falling for viral gadgets.
  • Zane: “I bought the underwear that accentuates your package… It looked like a diaper.” ([37:23])
• Sketchy food trends, slime, homemade candy, and the viral “electric box cutter” get the group talking about trust and the relentless churn of online shopping.
• Educational tangent: how to properly use a can opener ([41:51]).

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Moving, Organizing, and Hoarding Confessions

[51:36–59:27]

• Zane describes the chaos of his new (garage-less) house and living arrangements with Danielle (emphasizing platonic roommate status).
• Organization woes and the dream of hiring a professional (“I just want to make it feel like I have my shit together… I need a woman’s touch in my bedroom. Or a man. No, like a woman’s touch. Maybe a feminine touch.” – Zane & Matt, [55:01])
• Dividing up sentimental clutter, the pain and catharsis of purging childhood treasures, and keeping meaningful birthday cards (but only if something meaningful is written inside).

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Pet Dreams: Dogs, Cats, and Bengals

[69:46–75:13]

• Zane contemplates finally getting a dog, leaning toward breeds with low shedding (and dismissing cats as “too independent”).
• They discuss “adopt, don’t shop” philosophy but also debate the logic and economics of pet store animals.
• The group marvels at luxury breeds like Bengali cats (“That’s like a mountain lion!” – Heath [74:24]).
• Reflection on dog personalities (corgis, shiba inus, hypoallergenic vs. not) and the strange but sweet nuances of animal companionship.

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Travel Diaries: Croatia, Greece & Nude Beach Adventures

[75:16–81:13]

• Matt recounts his trip to Croatia (including Dubrovnik/“King’s Landing” from Game of Thrones) and Greek islands (Naxos, Paros), preferring low-key, authentic experiences over “big tourist foot traffic.”
• Highlights: unexpectedly visiting a nude beach with Patricia (“It felt like a dream where you know you are naked…it was bananas.” – Matt, [79:23])
• Jokes about speedos, sunscreen application, and the anxiety of possibly being “recognized” while disrobed.
  • “My heart sank.” – Matt ([78:52])

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Surprise Guest Set-Up!

[81:13–83:29]

• The long-teased special guest arrives! (Segment ends in suspense/announcement style.)
• Zane reveals he successfully coordinated a surprise artist performance and orchestrates a dramatic blindfold/headphone “reveal” for Heath and Matt.
• “Trust me, you’re going to be surprised.” – Zane ([82:56])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On comfort in the new studio:
  “I already feel so comfortable…this feels, like, intimate.” – Matt ([07:31])
• On moving:
  “I just gave them everything. Please take care of it. It’s really good furniture.” – Zane ([05:49])
• On pregnancy realities:
  “Mariah is just like, get this thing out of me!” – Heath ([10:49])
• Cravings:
  “Cold fruit, cold vegetables, salad…Just good.” – Heath ([12:04])
• On TikTok scams:
  “The bag never fucking goes…it’s on loop, they’re just scamming you.” – Matt ([31:14])
• On impulse TikTok shop purchases:
  “I bought the underwear one that makes your package look good…It looked like a diaper.” – Zane ([37:23])
• On hoarding:
  “My hoarding days are over. Like, I cannot hoard anything.” – Zane ([58:17])
• On pets:
  “Adopt, don’t shop… But I think all dogs are important.” – All
  “I don’t want a cat. I just want them [the pet] to come to me!” – Zane ([70:03])
• On the nude beach:
  “It felt like you were in a dream where you are naked. It was just bananas.” – Matt ([79:23])
• Surprise build-up:
  “This is why I can’t trust Zane. He’s too good at lying.” — Heath ([82:30])

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Episode Summary and Takeaways

• New Chapter: The hosts launch a new chapter in a cozy, collaborative studio while reflecting on the nostalgia of their old space.
• Babies & Changes: Heath shares the adventure and anxieties of fatherhood, while the crew lovingly roasts pregnancy tropes and baby naming dilemmas.
• Pop Culture & Tech: The group hilariously analyzes the latest digital trends—AI baby predictions, TikTok scam streams, and the dopamine chaos of viral shopping.
• Life Organization: Moving homes triggers a confessional on hoarding, organization, and how relationships shift priorities.
• Pet Philosophy: Funny and thoughtful debates about responsible pet ownership, animal affection, and the peculiarities of luxury breeds.
• Memorable Travel: From Game of Thrones sets in Croatia to nude beaches in Greece, Matt’s travel stories highlight the humor and unexpected lessons of stepping outside your comfort zone.
• Big Reveal: The episode builds anticipation for an epic, secret guest—capping off the celebratory, milestone vibe.

Overall:
This episode delivers the classic Zane and Heath blend: laid-back banter, honest life updates, cultural observations, some light satire, and a feeling that audience and hosts alike are all hanging out in an ultra-relatable living room—waiting for the next surprise.

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Sponsored segments and ad reads have been omitted from this summary for clarity and conciseness.

Transcript

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[C]

Paul is the podcast premiering Wednesday, October 1st. Download it wherever you listen to podcasts. Is this it?

[A]

Are we rocking?

[B]

We are rocking in a rolling. Wow. Welcome back. I know you haven't seen us in a very long time and it's been a very long two weeks. I've seen all of your guys messages. You guys have been struggling to get to your work without. We're so sorry. We have been very busy, as you can see. We have. And you said we have finally moved out of our home. We are. We were just so sick of having the PODC either live in Heath's house or my house.

[A]

He goes, you know, now that the podcast isn't at my house anymore, I'm just not going to wear shorts. I'll start wearing pants.

[C]

And I was like, what does that.

[B]

Have to do with anything?

[A]

He's like, I don't know. I'm just going to start wearing pants.

[B]

I'm wearing. I'm wearing pants out. Because to me, I'm going to the office. This is work time.

[C]

Go into the office. Good way to put it.

[B]

The office. We are. I mean, speaking of, we are pretty much in a big office space right now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To be specific, we are actually in our two buddies, David Albers and Hunter Marches space. They were so nice to let us have a little. Just a little corner of their giant office. And we appreciate them.

[C]

So we shout out the name of the studio.

[B]

Sure. Yeah. Studio, baby. Thank you, Poppy Studio. We appreciate you so much.

[C]

The longest time I thought we were recording at Poppy Soda Studio.

[B]

Dude, for a long time. When David told me that because he was doing like, like a trip, like his brand was doing a trip, he's like, yeah, dude. Like, Poppy's wants to, like, take all these creators. I'm like, oh, cool. Like poppies. That's. I just got to hit on my manager because, like, it's a drink company. I don't know what she, you know, like, yeah, exclusivity. I'm not sure. So I got to tell her. He's like, wait, what do you mean? I'm like, poppy. He's like, the drink. He's like, no. Bobby's like, poppy Tulip. Oh, okay.

[C]

I thought we were going to be working next to Alex Earl up in this place.

[B]

Yeah. That was like, when he was not a walk. He thought like, we were in Bobby's office. Like, we can't afford that.

[C]

But this is an Incredible studio. David has truly brought such a dream to life. And I'm constant. I'm constantly impressed the more I walk around this place. Yeah, it's really great.

[A]

I was.

[B]

I was looking at this, like, damn, this looks too nice. Like, too nice for us.

[A]

And I was walking around thinking about how familiar it looked. Did you notice all of the furniture is from me and Zane's house?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

First I walked in thinking it was Poppy Soda Studios, and I'm like, oh, that's just like Zane's pool table. Oh, wait, that's the same rug. Interesting. I saw Dave.

[B]

We have. It's so funny because we will get there because I moved, and so there's a lot of shit in my house that we're moving to a much smaller house. So I had to get rid of a lot of shit. So I. I wanted to. I wanted to sell everything, but, you know, when the time. When it's crunch time, you don't have much options. And I was trying to, like, sell as much as I can, but I think. I think David knew that, like, I had to get this shit out of my. So I sold him, like, the pool table and all that. And then he was like, okay, that's all I can afford. And I left in two days later. I'm like, just take it off. I just take it. Just take it all. And he. It's so funny. He was like, zane, do not budge, because they will try. They're going to try to get a good, good deal. I was like, no, no. I'm a stick to my. I'm a. I'm a throw to the dumpster right in front of them. I don't give a shit. And I was like, take it. We're donating to Poppy Studio. And I gave them. Dude, I gave them everything. I was like, please take care of it. It's really good furniture.

[C]

It's such a setup. It's so nice. We get to. People can't see it, but he's like, yeah, you can.

[B]

He's recording.

[C]

Well, yeah, but the people can't see it.

[A]

We have a. We have a nice.

[B]

No, there's a camera on him.

[C]

Oh, yes.

[B]

Yeah, he's going to be. He's going to be in and out. Just kind of. You know the podcast where there's like. He's just there, too. He's going to be there, too. Jared. Nice to be here.

[A]

Jared did an incredible job. Just want to give him a big thank you for everything with the new set. Crushing it.

[C]

You're a rock star. Jared, couldn't do it without you, especially.

[B]

Because it's been so busy. Because obviously Heath just. Well, let's. Let's roll the intro and then we can really get into it. Guys, thank you so much for waiting and coming back, being so supportive and allowing us to make this brand new space and. And for us to keep going. This is our.

[A]

Yep. Seven.

[B]

Seventh is our seventh season. Seventh year. Holy. This is insane. Let's. Let's get to the intro, baby. Where's our.

[A]

So I don't have one.

[B]

This is. This is. We're, like 80% done with this set. We still need to put shelves. We need.

[A]

We're getting close.

[B]

We're getting close. It's film ready and that's all that matters. Let me grab ready. It's coming. It's coming, baby. Let's go. Welcome back to Zany, Heath Unfiltered. I'm Zayn.

[A]

I'm Heath.

[C]

I'm Matt.

[B]

And thank you again. We are so excited to have you back. This studio looks amazing.

[C]

I. I already feel so comfortable with. I know I was nervous going into it being like, oh, we're gonna get. Try to get our sea legs together. The dynamic might be kind of rough. Trying to see if we're comfortable.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I already feel.

[A]

Feels so good.

[B]

I also. I also love that you both are like. Already you're closer to me.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And that feels really good too. Like, I'm. I feel like I can. I don't have to scream across the room. Yeah.

[A]

You're not like. Like, you would never sit like that in a room with friends.

[C]

No.

[A]

That far away from each other. So this feels, like, intimate.

[B]

Exactly.

[C]

Got some intimacy going on.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

I can't. I can't do it. I look like a helicopter pilot, and I feel really.

[B]

Get rid of the headphones. Get rid. I don't know why you're even wearing that.

[A]

I don't think we tried to shake it up. I couldn't do it.

[B]

We're doing sounds.

[A]

Feels so much better.

[B]

We're doing sound testing. I had them and we were all, like, screaming at the same time for, like, mic levels. And I was like, nope. I don't know. I don't know how people do it. It's too much.

[C]

I like it.

[B]

My brain. I can do it. But what was I saying? Where were we at?

[A]

Moving situations. A lot of updates.

[B]

Okay. So I. Yes. Since. Thank you, Jared, again, for getting the sun while everyone is so busy. Heath, you're already in Nashville. You've been out there. It's crazy how Many months.

[A]

I don't even know because I've traveled so much. We've been in Nashville and then we've had weddings in pa. I came out here to film, went back for a couple of days. Then I flew out to Yosemite to do my backpacking trip. Then I came back to Nashville for two days. Then I went to PA for a wedding. Then I flew back and then I had six hours in Nashville and then I flew here to come film.

[C]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

It's just been like.

[C]

And you have a wife with child.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Birthing of child.

[C]

That was like, biggest question I needed to ask. How is Mariah doing?

[A]

Is doing so good.

[C]

How far along is she?

[A]

Seven and a half months.

[C]

Oh, my God. The baby blanket.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. You got to start.

[A]

Yeah. Mid December now.

[B]

You got to be the one of the first presents that the baby gets.

[C]

I know there may be a little month delay with the blanket or whatever because I still. I'm on back orders right now. Friends having babies. And I'm trying to switch it up because the baby blankets, I realized take way too long. So I want to get into teddy bears or making like loveies or something else. But she's doing well.

[A]

Yeah. Really good. Hasn't felt weird at all. Hasn't had any issues, thank God. And I think she's just getting to the point where you're just like, this is.

[B]

It's getting a little old now.

[C]

Yeah, let's wrap it up.

[B]

It's getting obviously getting heavier and heavier. So I'm sure she's just like more and more tired every day.

[A]

Having a hard time getting, like, comfortable.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, no matter how you're sitting or anything like that, she's just like, get.

[C]

This out of me.

[B]

We should honestly, just to like, feel what she feels, we should definitely just like have. Wear something.

[A]

Yeah. Watermelon.

[B]

Honestly, just get a backpack and just flip it around and make it really heavy.

[C]

Yeah, they have those like weighted simulators.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Like put on to like, understand how heavy carrying a child is.

[B]

I've been. I've been trying. I've been keeping up because she doesn't post. She hasn't posted ever. Like, we don't see her posting on stores or nothing normally. It's funny because other girls, two weeks, three weeks, you really get updated by.

[C]

Briar keeping working on a TikTok like nothing.

[A]

So it's so interesting. Like, her sister's also pregnant, like, you know, and she's very much the constantly holding it. Just kind of like, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like. Like, pregnant women will just, like, sit there and, like, kind of, like, rub their tummy. Mariah is just like, get this thing out of it. Like, she's just not very, you know.

[C]

If she takes a group photo, does she, like.

[A]

No.

[C]

That's such a thing when, like, a woman pregnant.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

In a group photo, they'll always put, like, a hand under the belly just to say. I'm.

[B]

I think. I think they just want to make.

[C]

Sometimes I'm like, you don't need to put a hand down there. People kind of know you're pregnant.

[A]

But, like, covering myself, trying not to. Like, that's what I would.

[B]

That's funny. Yeah.

[A]

But no. Yeah, she doesn't.

[C]

Is she, like, pretty? I mean, she's a very active woman, but does she, like, go out and run errands and everything? Like, all of it.

[A]

Does all of it. She's still dancing.

[B]

I think it's good to dance.

[C]

And that baby's like, no, that baby's gonna.

[A]

In my head, I always thought it was, like, it was pretty, you know, solid in there. Like, not really much wiggle room. I watched a video of somebody getting an ultrasound. Literally, the mother starts laughing during the ultrasound, and this baby just. Just bouncing all. It was the most aggressive thing I've ever seen.

[B]

Wait, where'd you see this?

[A]

It was just like. I came across it on TikTok. It was just like, oh. And it was the lady laughing during it. And that baby is scrambled. Like, just. It was the scariest thing I've ever seen. I was like, yeah.

[B]

And that's probably what Mariah probably feels every few hours. So she's probably ready.

[C]

She had any weird cravings. I know these are always, like, the cliche questions, but, like, nothing where she's like, I thought.

[B]

I thought she was into, like, I just cold stuff.

[C]

Not making, like, a pickle pasta or anything. That's just like, a little.

[A]

Anything cold.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Cold fruit, cold vegetables, salad. Like, cold. Just good. And then obviously, she still eats, like, the stuff that she normally likes, like pasta and.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Have you guys landed on a name yet? And we don't need to share.

[B]

Oh, look, there it is.

[A]

It's so aggressive.

[B]

Oh. Oh, my God.

[C]

That's just laughing.

[A]

How does that just from laughing.

[B]

How does that not kill the baby? Oh, my God.

[C]

The uterus is a. Incredible organs ain't.

[B]

Look at that. Look at. Boom.

[C]

It is wild.

[A]

I stopped telling jokes around her.

[B]

Oh, my God. Oh. After seeing that.

[C]

It is wild. Like, as the baby gets bigger and the uterus, like, gets Larger how? All the organs just get, like, pushed up.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's just bananas.

[A]

It's weird. She still has abs.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Wow. She's got to look up abs on pregnant woman. It's crazy.

[C]

Sometimes it's alarming when you see, like, some crazy fitness, like, influencer bodybuilder who gets pregnant. You're like, yo, take it easy. Yeah, Yeah. I didn't.

[B]

I thought. I didn't know that was possible. That's straight abs.

[A]

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[B]

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[B]

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[A]

Thank you, Google Gemini, for sponsoring this podcast. We love you.

[C]

And wait, have you guys landed on a name? You don't need to share it. Oh, you guys are still.

[B]

Oh, I had a feeling that you're just keeping it from us.

[C]

No. Still haven't decided. How often are y' all talking about the name?

[A]

Well, there was one that we really liked, and our new neighbor had a.

[C]

Baby and named it or what.

[A]

His name and his son's name are like a mix of the name we had. Oh, so it would look like we did it, like, on purpose. Yeah, we got inspired almost.

[C]

And they're neighbors. They're obviously gonna be friends of you guys. Yeah.

[A]

And his kid is, like, one, so it's like, they're obviously going to grow up together.

[C]

Yeah, it's two on the nose.

[A]

Like, they're going to be hanging out in the neighborhood.

[B]

At first I was like, oh, it's fine to have the same. But now if they are friends, that's, like, kind of annoying. Yeah, like, you could easily just change it at that point.

[C]

Do you have a middle name decided? No, because. Yes. Sometimes, like, the first name can, like, dictate the flow of the middle name as well. And it needs to be, like, the whole.

[A]

Now we're trying to get first because then the middle name, you have to flow with that.

[C]

Okay, are you guys going purely original or Are y' all ever considering pulling from relatives names or family names?

[A]

She wants it to be something, like, Italian.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

But, like, my last name is not Italian at all, so, like.

[C]

Yeah, it just ends on a hussar.

[A]

Luciano.

[B]

It's how you say it. It could sound Italian. You just gotta, like, if the first.

[A]

Luciana, usa.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

We're not going with Hoochiana, though.

[B]

Luciano.

[A]

Who said, like, lightning? Larry. Luciano.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

No, I don't know. I have no idea.

[C]

Do you guys have a baby name book that you ever. Just, like.

[A]

We just, like, we googled, like, Italian boy names and just scrolled through those.

[C]

And I love those goods.

[B]

I, like, yell some names too. Just in the house. Just yell a name and just see if it, like, sounds like you got.

[A]

You got to try it out.

[B]

Yeah, I feel like that's what they do with, like, dogs who. If you're trying to come up with a dog name.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You kind of just start screaming different name and, like, whatever lands.

[C]

Do you think? Okay. Once you do decide on a name, we will not know the name until the post goes up where we have given birth to this baby.

[A]

I don't know. I never really had a problem with saying the name.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Like, I know some people are like.

[B]

You have a problem with a boy or girl? Either. You just said it. It wasn't, like, a big deal, so. Yeah, that makes sense.

[C]

Do you have a nursery already built out.

[A]

We have a lot of stuff, but it's not fully done yet.

[C]

Okay, but do you think when you. The baby comes into the world and will you have them in your bedroom at first and then go to the.

[B]

Nursery so many, like, different ways that you could.

[C]

Sometimes I feel like when a baby's freshly born, they, like, you keep them in the bedroom nearby, and then you kind of move them to the nursery. I don't know. Everyone has their own.

[B]

Oh, you're saying, like, if they have, like, a. Not in the bed, you're talking more like a crib next to them.

[C]

Yeah, like, in, like, a little bassinet.

[B]

Honestly, I would.

[A]

Parents did. They just pulled the sock drawer out on the bottom.

[C]

They did that with you?

[A]

With my mom.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

That's how it was.

[C]

There.

[B]

Was there a reason just to keep them, like, not moving?

[A]

Dude, they didn't money for it. It really is a small spot, and you just.

[B]

It's. Honestly, it's probably, like, very safe to do that too, because they're not moving. They're not rolling around.

[A]

They just slid the sock drawer out and just slept in there.

[C]

Are you. How are you? Are you nervous, excited, Taking it easy day by day.

[A]

It's so weird, cuz, like, she's like, really showing now. So it's like, hitting more and more, but it's still not fully there yet. Like, I know our son is in there. I know I'm gonna know this person for the rest of my life. And it's weird to think about. And I'll go through waves. Like, it'll hit me. But I've talked to, like, some of my friends who have kids, and they're like, no, you think it'll hit you until it comes out. And then you're like, oh, no, this is crazier.

[C]

Yeah. Have you had, like, any crazy dreams or, like, nightmares? Oh, I've been having baby dreams all the time. We're not planning on having a baby anytime immediately. Soon. Oh, yeah. I had one, like, last night, like, and it felt so real. Wow. It just.

[B]

Was it a boy or a girl?

[C]

It was a boy. Huh.

[A]

They would have called that visions back in the day, like, 300 years ago.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I just want one girl and one and a boy. I'll be happy.

[B]

I think it doesn't matter how many kids. Yeah. I think it's important to just have one girl, one boy with whatever.

[C]

But I want the first one to be a girl so I don't have to worry about the second one. I just don't want two boys. And if I have two boys, I'll be. I will be blessed.

[B]

Do you like the whole aspect of the brother taking care of the little sister? Is that why you want her first?

[C]

No, I just want to know that, like, oh, I got a girl. Now I can. Because I don't want to have a boy and be like, I want that second one to be a girl.

[B]

So you're a girl, dad?

[C]

Yes, I'm the same way.

[B]

I'm a girl that I want a girl. That, like, I want a girl. And then.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So I just. Yeah. And I remember freaking out in the dream about it being like, I want the second. I'm already thinking about the second baby in the dream and why do I.

[B]

Feel like girl babies are easier to take care of than boy babies? Or is that.

[C]

Is it boys are kind of easier.

[B]

Oh, boys are easier.

[C]

And boys are less expensive. Girls are more expensive.

[B]

Oh, got it. So let's do that. Boy, girl, boy. Done.

[C]

I think girls tend to go through a lot more, like, emotionally, like, they're. Boys are, like, sometimes easier, I think.

[A]

To raise them at different ages.

[B]

Yeah, sure. Yeah.

[A]

As they get older, I would imagine.

[C]

I just want to do tea parties. I really don't want to go, like, teach them how to throw a football because I can't throw football that well.

[B]

The dolls. Put all the dolls around and.

[C]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

And that's what you can teach her about. The Boston Tea Party there you really like, just make it a learning lesson as she's growing up. Yeah.

[C]

So how's the house coming along though?

[A]

Everything is in its place.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, we're fully moved in. Everything's organized. There's still some things that we need to get like furniture wise throughout the house, but we're just waiting for them.

[B]

It's more just like renovations and because I know you want to do the kitchen. You want to do the.

[A]

We want to do the kitchen here soon. I was hoping to get it done before the baby gets here because, you know, don't really want your kitchen torn up.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Especially with the jackhammers breaking up granite countertops while a baby.

[A]

We are going to start that soon.

[B]

It's when you're getting your floors on or the kitchen done, you have literally no option but to stay at a. Oh, I don't like a Marriott, like at a hotel. Like a hotel that has like a kitchen in the room, like the suite. That's what we had to do because kitchen is just like. You don't realize how bad you need it.

[A]

Just the center of like every home.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Has more. I've been crazy about like shopping already for clothes. Clothes for the baby and stuff.

[A]

We got a decent amount of stuff, like vintage pieces.

[B]

Yeah, they do a lot of vintage.

[C]

Oh, that's nice.

[B]

Clothes shopping.

[A]

We got some cute stuff. We've been gifted some cute things. We don't have any diapers yet or anything like that.

[C]

Are you. Will you have like a baby registry for like friends and family to like buy you guys stuff?

[A]

No.

[C]

Okay. Make a baby list if you're watching any.

[B]

If any of you guys work at any baby brands, please send Heatha, Mariah stuff. DM them. They're gonna need a lot of baby to fill up their house.

[C]

The wild with the baby. You still don't know like what they will look like. Will they look like you? Will they look like Mariah? Will they be a perfect blend of both of you.

[B]

I like, I think about that a lot. Like I'm trying to like morph you guys together to see like what would come out and I. It's so fucking hard to have you.

[C]

Have you used chat GPT to Like, oh, you should. It's crazy. If you put both pictures of you guys together and say what our kids look like coming out, like the cutest kids, obviously your kid will be a cute kid. But it's this like, like, yeah, it looks like a model baby of it's your dream looking baby. But sometimes I love seeing the.

[B]

They'll take, take two people that were. That broke up.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

On, like, it's like a trend. They'll take two people that broke up and morphing together and like put a kid next to them like they're holding a kid. And it's like a whole trend that they've been doing. And it's crazy and it's wild.

[C]

Like, as you know, babies, they'll start, they'll maybe look like you for their first three years and then they'll start looking like Mariah for the next and then they go back. It's kind of crazy.

[B]

It's like different features that start popping up like, o God, he's getting Heath's nose, Mariah's eyebrows or whatever.

[C]

It's bananas. But that's so exciting, so thrilling.

[A]

Before we continue, we want to give a big thank you to our sponsor of this podcast. HelloFresh Ball is here.

[B]

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[A]

Thank you so much, HelloFresh, for sponsoring this podcast. We love you. I keep seeing people posting about, like, man, my hormones must have been crazy because I thought I had the cutest baby. And then they're, like, looking back at what the baby looked like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, just every mother thinks, you know, every father thinks their kid is the cutest thing in the world. And then like, like a couple years later, you look back and you're like, oh, maybe, maybe it wasn't.

[B]

I was like, I wonder what my mom thought of when she saw me as a baby. I think she was probably very worried. Oh, did you see my picture? I'd been worried like a monster. No, man, I looked like something where you would take me and be like, like, dumpster, leave it in the box. No, no, no. That.

[C]

I don't think I've seen you as, like, a pure infant. I've only seen.

[B]

No, I was a. I was a very large baby. I'll show you a picture. I'll put it up here again. We've put it up here before, but I'll put it up again.

[A]

It's a baby.

[B]

My mama loves me still. Thank you. Thank you, Mom.

[C]

And you guys already have a set, like, delivery OBGYN Dr. To deliver the baby. And it will just be a natural birth or no C section or you will know that closer to hopefully, Delivery time.

[A]

C section.

[C]

It's wild, though. Like, with OB GYNs, like, or will you be free this day to give birth to my son? But you never know. Something can happen. And they're like, yeah, I'm in Fiji. Like, I think you're having to deliver to some.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Person who is qualified. But, like, you can only plan so much, but then you have to just.

[A]

Yeah. That the whole. Just like doing all the research and everything now that we have to. It's so interesting. So interesting.

[B]

What's the. At what day? Because I know you have a. I know you have a date.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Around it. And how, like, for people, like, how accurate is it. Like, is it usually, like in the Week span and the two week span.

[A]

That could be a week early, could be a weekly. Could be how if you have a.

[B]

Premature baby, they're pretty good at determining when that baby is, like, around. Gonna come out.

[A]

Yeah. And then also a lot of times, like, a lot of people will do, like, scheduled C sections, so you just put it in the calendar and then you show up and then you do the C section.

[B]

Oh. Even if you're like, water doesn't break or oh, wow.

[A]

So it's just more of like a. I don't know.

[B]

That.

[A]

That to me feels very transactional and like.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

Like, if it's not ready, why we.

[A]

Would like to do everything as naturally as possible. Right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And a lot of people I've seen that have had complications post C section.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, it's. It's a very intensive.

[B]

Yeah. No, my.

[A]

Cut you out and they take all your. They pull your stuff aside.

[B]

My mom, like, it's very. My mom had to. My mom had to do that for the twins because it was. It was like there. She had no choice.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And almost lost her. She was like, almost died because of that. It is very scary.

[C]

Thank God we live in these times. I can't imagine.

[B]

Oh, no. Back then I'm sure it was like, oh, you're giving birth. You're. You're.

[C]

You're dying.

[B]

Like, you are giving your life up.

[C]

For your very common crazy.

[B]

Crazy, crazy, crazy.

[A]

If you guys are curious, this is what Chat GPT thinks.

[C]

Thinks Heath and Mariah's birthday.

[B]

Whoa. Oh, my God. That looks like.

[C]

That's a cutie patootie.

[B]

Literally looks like you and Mariah morphed together.

[A]

Really weird.

[C]

Oh, my God. Jared.

[B]

Let's save that.

[C]

Let's see. We'll compare.

[B]

Oh, my God. That's a cute baby. All right. Or do three years old. Let's see him grow up. Let's see him grow up.

[A]

Stop. This is weird.

[C]

Would you sign your baby up for, like, modeling contracts at all?

[A]

Did I?

[C]

No. Would you? Oh, no.

[B]

I. I feel like it's really dangerous. Even put them in a situation like that.

[C]

Well, I mean, like, I think like child actors, like, when they're like five or six and they have to, like, talk and memorize lines. I feel like that's a little forced, but it's a baby. Like.

[B]

Okay, well, you mean just for like.

[C]

No, I mean, like, it models for like Gerber foods or whatever. The next Gerber baby.

[A]

What's the difference? Why is it okay to have them work and go model and act and everything, but they can't put shoes together.

[C]

I think it's, there's less mental pressure. It's a baby, but like, like, I, I, maybe I'm talking out of my ass.

[B]

Child labor, it's like a pro. It's like you're using it as a product, the baby kind of. But like, I think it's just, again, it's up to like, it's like, y'.

[C]

All, you probably don't, like, you're not trying to, like, need the money, but it's just something fun, like, or if.

[A]

Like you own like a, you know, a mom and pop shop and you have like your kid work in the register or like, just working there.

[C]

I'm talking about an infant just like posing next to like a, A basket of flowers.

[B]

Yeah, I think, I think he's saying, not like putting them through like the ringer, but more just like, what if.

[C]

They'Re filming music video for some huge country artists and they're like, we just need a baby in this, like, music video.

[B]

You're like, oh, yeah, that would be. I would do that. I think it's like, as long as it's not strenuous, right? It's like, whatever. Or like, if I'm sure they have like Gerber baby competitions, like, we want to find the next year. So you literally just send in a photo of your baby. That is.

[C]

There is a huge contest for the Gerber baby, and I think you win a huge scholarship.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Oh, wow.

[C]

I think it's a scholarship for like.

[B]

For the bait for the kid when he grows up.

[C]

Yeah, for the kids. Like, oh, that's actually amazing. But you can only enter the contest, I think at nine months old.

[A]

Like, you can't be the baby every year.

[C]

Yeah, there's a Gerber baby every year. $25,000 cash is what you can win to be a baby. And you get a year supply of Gerber products and a Gerber child's wear wardrobe. But you know what? I hope they give it to someone who really deserves. Yeah, you know, that's not bad though. Gerber baby.

[B]

And also, I mean, I think like, when you think about, like, when you think of it like business wise, I think it's just such a good, a great PR for them where in their heads, like, oh, we're only paying $25,000 and years worth to like, hold this competition, which is going to blow up our just name.

[A]

It would be cool to be like, yeah, I was a Gerber.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, that is cool. That is cool. It's like, it's a good icebreaker conversation. Like, oh, tell me about yourself.

[A]

I was a Gerber.

[C]

I just think, whose job is that to look at adorable photos of all the most adorable kids across the country and be like, you know what? I don't know. I'm just feeling this one. What do you think?

[A]

I like him.

[C]

Yeah. Michelle, do you like this? I don't know. I. This one just. I'm getting bad vibes from this one. What is that?

[B]

I think just 10. Imagine looking at the top 10 Gerber baby, like, finalists and, like, just seeing how, like, adorable.

[A]

I want to see the. The judges debating with each other on why they think, yeah, you like that? I was thinking, yeah, but it is.

[B]

Crazy that they're like.

[A]

They're like, no, this one's cuter.

[B]

Why? No, no, no, no. Why?

[A]

Tell me why.

[B]

Why?

[A]

What do you like?

[B]

Weird.

[A]

What do you like about that one?

[C]

Okay, so I like.

[B]

I like.

[C]

So in 2024, the Gerber photo search judges include a diverse panel of Gerber and Nestle USA employees, along with, for the first time, the parents of the previous Gerber babies.

[B]

All right.

[C]

Who brought in their unique, unique perspectives to the selection process. Okay, so what if there was some scandal where, like, the previous, like, Gerber winners, like, knew the next Gerber family were like, oh, yeah, pick them.

[B]

Oh, just to kind of like. Oh, like the. Like, the McMillions. Yeah, because just, like, everyone's, like, kind.

[C]

Of in a. Ooh, what a scandal. That would. That is.

[B]

I could see that being a big thing. Yeah.

[A]

That would be so easy to hack.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Speaking of manipulating the audience, I have some beef with TikTok in some of these damn live streams I've been seeing.

[B]

I see. I love TikTok. Don't ban me, please.

[C]

Well, I don't know. They need to crack down on these live streams, and I don't know if you guys get this on your feed. It's a live stream of what looks to be like a plastic bag filled with fish food.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Hanging above a bunch of fish swimming around in a pond.

[B]

Oh. And they.

[C]

And then there's these four, like, arrows or razors.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

For galaxies. And you know what? I was scrolling, and I came by one, and it was hanging by a thread. And I go, you know what? I'm gonna sit here. I'm gonna watch this for a little bit because I want to see this bag fucking pop. I want to see all those fish pellets go. Right?

[B]

That was just like you. I was actually watching this same video, too. On when I was.

[C]

I had that on for 30 minutes. Really? And that little thread of plastic did not ever fucking go. And some girl posted a tick tock who was having the same grievances as I was having. And a lot of people in the comments are saying, this is like a video that's on loop.

[B]

Yes, it's.

[C]

They're just scamming you. The bag never drops into the fucking.

[B]

And they've had multiple videos. There's so many videos like this. You know the video, you know, videos of people trying to get a ping pong ball into like a cup.

[C]

Is that real?

[B]

No. They have videos like that where it's on loop because they're sitting in a position and they're doing it in a way where they're able to put it on loop after five minutes. And it just gets people to send galaxies over. I agree with you. I think this is. This should be banned. And you know what? I have a feeling they are banning it. But it's as easy as me screen recording this and then putting it up on my channel.

[A]

I didn't realize because you always end up at the perfect moment for these lives too. You're like, whoa, I got it almost. And when I found out they're all pre recorded, it's not actually live, I.

[C]

Was like, oh, if they. They clearly must have a detector. Well, if someone uploaded a video of someone being fully nude, tick tock has something goes, this is a nude person. Let's remove this. Yeah, Anytime someone uploads a damn fish.

[B]

That looks like a.

[C]

Also, I feel like that is just up against code to have that many fish pellets even drop.

[B]

Yeah, that is not a safe environment. Also, you saw the live ended font. It's how big it is. It's because people keep screen recording and cutting the edge off from like to make it look real. And people are screenshotting it more and more and it's becoming shittier and shittier quality.

[C]

And then I hate the ones of the guys who. It looks like it's a video game and it looks like it's this spiky ball that's about to land in this little corner. And the guy's like, oh my gosh, Chad. Oh, we have a thousand people. This is the most viewers. Let's get these likes. And every moment sounds like it's so significant. And they're playing that like some choir song in the background and it's just. It's a fucking scam.

[B]

And you know what, Matt? As much as we both think that they should delete these type of videos. You have to think about anything that's like clickbait, where it falls under the same umbrella, ban this kid.

[C]

I hate it. This is a like all props to that kid who hustling and trying to make his money doing social media. But this is trash. Yeah, this is just.

[B]

I agree, I agree with you. It is, it is garbage. Fucking garbage. Content.

[C]

Probably 14 year old kids who are just putting away all their money, sending.

[B]

Their parents money, just clearing this shit. The like to me this is, it's not as, this is worse than what I'm about to say, but this falls under the same umbrella as like just manipulating the audience where someone goes in front is like, this is why you should not buy this lotion. Let me, I'm gonna give you five reasons why not to buy this lotion. And then they go, so this lotion, it just feels way too good on your skin and you're just like fucking scroll. And it's like, it's the same thing. It's like you are sitting there and you think you're about to get whatever you came to get and you have been lied to, you have been deceived and it's just going to get worse. It's going to get.

[A]

The ones I always get are like either wedding related or like vacation related where they're like my trip to blah blah blah was horrible because of this, this, this, this, this. But thankfully I had this chapstick that kept me like gotcha bruh.

[B]

But you know, I don't even get that far because I as soon as I see the commissions thing, I don't even get fucking a second and I just fucking scroll.

[A]

Before we continue, we want to give a big thank you to our next sponsor of this podcast, seatgeek.

[B]

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[A]

That's right. And thank you so much for sponsoring this podcast, seatgeek. We love you.

[B]

I just wish the commissions tab wasn' and then we really fall.

[A]

It's just crazy how much people are making on TikTok shop.

[B]

Are they really, though?

[C]

Like, you got to hustle hard, though.

[A]

Yeah. Someone all day, every day.

[C]

But you have to make like 25 videos a day of every single little random product.

[B]

Just like whatever the prod. Next product is hot. That's where you can just start pushing and promoting. And you know what? I buy half of them. I do buy half of them. I bought one that like.

[C]

What did you buy?

[B]

Okay, this is. You're going to fudgeing judge me for this. I bought the one that. Where you put it in the back of your phone and when you take a selfie from the good side of your camera, there's a screen here that you can see with them. It's so stupid. It's so terrible. But of course, I'm the perfect demographic for that. I need this. It's like a boomer fucking thing to buy because I want to. I want a good quiet because I. The selfies that the camera sucks.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Especially when you want to make a good video. So I'm like, I wish I could see myself.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And so I got the screen that. Where you, like, plug it in and the screen. But it's like. Like you can easily just get a. Let's just.

[C]

Just get a.

[B]

Get a mare. Yeah. No. Yeah. So I do fall for all the digital TikTok shop.

[A]

They're so good. They always hit you with that first hook.

[B]

It is.

[A]

My wife's boyfriend hated that I bought this.

[B]

Scroll back up.

[A]

Like, wait, what.

[B]

What did he get?

[A]

What did I hear? Yeah, it's. Yeah, they. They hook you.

[C]

I say you bought the underwear one that try to make it makes your package look good. Good.

[B]

Yes. I. I bought that cuz I wanted to see how much room there was in there. Cuz I was like, this is obviously fake. Like no one's actually buying this underwear.

[C]

It's like briefs that like.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Accentuate the bulge, you know.

[B]

No, it doesn't accentuate the bolt. It's just a big. No, it's a big pocket.

[C]

A little.

[B]

So when I wore it, it looked like a diaper. Because it. You in for it. No, cuz I like in my head I was like, this is so. There's no way, like people are buying. So I bought it.

[A]

There's no way somebody could fit in this.

[B]

Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy.

[C]

The ball caddies though, are kind of nice. Or there's one that me undies has where I'm like, oh, this feels kind of good. It's just like an extra pouch for your. Your goods.

[B]

Yeah. What's like the latest one? What is the latest item on Tik Tok Shop that you've been seeing all over that people?

[C]

I get slime and candy and ramen noodles. I get a lot of like, things I want to eat.

[B]

Does. Does it gross you out? The, the Tick Tock shop where people are like making their own candy in their house and then they package it, but like you see them do it. Does that like kind of like food that's being made in someone's house?

[C]

Some sour gushers.

[B]

No, no, I know, but does it like when you see someone. It's in there.

[A]

When I see that, I think about that pink sauce thing.

[C]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[B]

That was a whole. That was a whole thing where like, it was like. Yeah, I'm made out of.

[C]

I don't know. I kind of trust it.

[B]

Yeah. You trust it?

[C]

I do. They're more sour than I think. What, like your.

[B]

You're.

[C]

You can buy on the shelves too?

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

I don't mean like the, the sour. How good it tastes. I'm talking about like the quality. Like can you trust that they're doing that? This person's doing it.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Even if they're doing it live. You have no idea what's happening off camera. Because she's not making. They're not making every order off camera.

[C]

I wouldn't buy anything that had like, like meat or like beef jerky or like something that's like way more.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Perishable.

[B]

If that's like dairy or anything like that.

[C]

Yeah. I ain't buying that. Oh, one I always see on Tick Tock Shop that I'm like, dang, damn, is that worth it is like, those are the electric box cutters that, like. No, they. Because influencers, we get sent so many boxes of, like, pr. It's like this electric box cutter almost looks like a mini, like, power shaped like a scissor.

[A]

And you just, like, do it like you would be.

[B]

Can you look this up?

[A]

And it kind of just like, cuts through it. Like, it's.

[B]

Did it look like good quality or. It looks like just.

[C]

Dude, it looks awesome. You can just like, oh, oh, wait, wait.

[B]

Let's do this.

[C]

You can cut like that?

[B]

Oh, yes. Oh, that's amazing. Oh, I'm buying that.

[C]

See, I.

[B]

You don't think that's good?

[A]

Bro, a box cutter is a race.

[B]

And you just look how fast that's going.

[C]

But, yeah, the thing is, though, you'll buy that the power will go out after, like, the battery will die out after one hour, and you'll never charge that shit again.

[B]

No, dude, a box.

[A]

Literally, I set my boxes, and I just go like this, and then I just cut them quicker than that.

[C]

Sometimes there's those ones that brand send that are like. There's not even, like, a fucking.

[B]

No, it's tough to cut that, so you have to fold it, and it's like. You can't get that in.

[C]

There's two hands on the scissors. You can't even.

[A]

Then that's definitely not getting through it.

[B]

Yeah, that is. That's a saw. Yeah. If it's like. If it's handheld like that, you know, that quality is not gonna be probably the greatest, but you could probably.

[A]

I just bought this new chainsaw to cut through my cardboard boxes.

[B]

I don't know. I like. Oh, look at that. Look.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

It was going so slow. You saw that.

[A]

Do you guys use electric can opener?

[B]

No.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Well, exactly. No, no, because a can opener is just, like, easier to use. And it's like the can opener is.

[A]

The most annoying little handheld thing in a kitchen, and yet we still choose that over an electronic one, I think.

[B]

Because it brings us back.

[C]

I think that was back in the day where people were opening up a lot of cans, like back in the 50s.

[A]

And dinner was like, six cans.

[C]

Yeah, six. Cream of mushroom soup, dumping, bake.

[A]

Dump some green beans in it.

[B]

Also, it looks like. When you, like. It looks. It looks kind of ridiculous when you think about it. That doesn't look ridiculous to me. It looks like something that, like, if you're dealing with a lot of box opening and a lot of, like, PR boxes, I think that's a great tool for to use, right? No, I don't know. I get it. Should I buy it and then we can test it out?

[A]

I think you should.

[B]

I'm going to buy it.

[A]

Did you know you're supposed to open the cans horizontally?

[C]

Come again?

[B]

If I'm supposed to open it, the lid it like this, Heath, right? Like this? Yeah. You're supposed to open it from the.

[A]

Side, cutting down inside. And then you have to like push the thing down and hope that pops up. And then you take it out. Instead of clamping it this way, you clamp the top of it and you go around the side.

[C]

Oh, damn.

[A]

The whole thing just pops off perfectly.

[B]

It opens much cleaner when you. When you look at it, you're like, oh, this is how you're.

[A]

It will make so much sense. It's so much easier.

[C]

I got to open up some cans.

[A]

Can you type in? Yeah. Proper way to use can opener.

[B]

You see on this season of unfiltered, you're going to be learning new things. We're going to be educational.

[C]

So you might be using it.

[B]

Oh, wait, There.

[A]

See how much?

[C]

Oh, wow. Okay. See?

[B]

Yeah. You see that?

[C]

Oh, yeah. Cause I. Every time, even when I'm doing like a pull top tab of a can, I'm always like, how are you telling me? There's no metal bits getting back into the can? But I feel like that's a little bit safer of a way of opening it. Do it from the side.

[B]

Oh, my God. That guy taught me how to make a sugar free pie.

[A]

Did you make it?

[B]

No, I didn't, but I saved it. I'm making it. I'm gonna make it. But yeah, I know he makes good stuff.

[A]

See, look at that.

[B]

Oh, you know, he making me making me pop boy. Yes. Oh, my God.

[C]

Did y' all see the TikTok of this girl who said, have y' all ever seen a horror movie and there's been like a villain and you're like, I could take on that guy.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

I feel like I could take on Jeepers Creepers.

[B]

I haven't seen. I saw that girl. I saw the girl.

[C]

All these people have been making tiktoks responding to her, like, like, girl, not the jeep, not big jeep. Do you understand who's talking?

[B]

That's one of the scariest villains that you like that you can go against.

[C]

Are you familiar with Jeepers Creepers?

[A]

I've never seen Jeepers Creepers.

[C]

Oh, dude. Okay.

[B]

He's fucking terrifying.

[C]

Jeepers Creepers is a creature who goes to sleep every 23 years.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

And he rises and he hunts, and he eats his victims.

[B]

And he also. Get this. This flies. So imagine someone like this that can also fly.

[C]

He can snatch you up, fly anything. He will make you into a cocoon and suck out all your organs.

[B]

He also has a whole, like. Like, underground thing where he just dumps bodies he's done with, and there's just a pit of just bodies.

[A]

And they were. And they were thinking that this was one of the easier ones to defeat.

[B]

This girl thought.

[C]

And the whole community of people have been going, you do not know who you are with. And then now there's a guy who is a cosplayer of Jeepers Creepers. I think the girl who made the original post, her name was Mara.

[B]

And he's like, no, Jared, you have to pull it up, dude. Matt sent me this. I was dying. I was like, oh, Mara, you have a big storm coming. I wouldn't have been able to sleep if I got this from this person. Oh, hell no.

[C]

Oh, girl, you have summoned him. So I bring this up because I'm also curious. What horror villain do you feel like y' all could take on?

[B]

Oh, sorry, horror villain. Sorry.

[C]

Horror villain.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, that's a. That's a big. I mean, obviously not like Freddie. Freddie Mercury.

[C]

The Freddy Krueger.

[B]

Freddy. Nothing like Freddy Krueger. Jeeper Screamers. Great Freddy. He just sings you to death.

[A]

This pitch is too high.

[B]

Chainsaw Massacre. None of those guys. Nobody can take on those guys. I think. I mean, scream.

[C]

Easy.

[B]

Yes, it's a human.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

And he's a human.

[C]

A damn skirt.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Scream. I don't get how that guy even goes around and kills people, because I'd be tripping over in that dress.

[B]

You can't even see through that mask.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I wear it every year.

[B]

You cannot see through that. You have to take it off when you really want to see something.

[C]

It also. Also, Scream really isn't his own supernatural entity. He's usually somebody in the town taking on the identity.

[B]

Yeah. So is that what. So does this count, or does this not count because it's a human, it counts.

[C]

And it's the smartest answer.

[B]

Yeah, it's. It's just easy. And there's a lot of. I think there's a lot of villains that are. Like, in every slasher movie, there's a villain like this where they're either wearing.

[C]

A mask because he just got one knife. That's it. Yeah, he's not even that strong. I take on Scream all day.

[B]

Yeah, you get it. You Get a knife. You have the same chance as he does was to defeat him.

[C]

Now. Okay, now if you had to take on one Jason or Michael Myers.

[B]

Michael Myers.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Easy.

[C]

Because Michael Myers also just has one. A kitchen knife. Not even that.

[B]

But Michael Myers, he's huge, right. Hard to kill him.

[A]

Hold on.

[B]

He takes bullets.

[A]

What's.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

Are we doing just a straight up. Just one on one fist fight or we get to bring like you get.

[C]

To bring in a house with friends. He's okay. Okay. That's a perfect.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Good.

[B]

Perfect scenario.

[C]

I feel like. I don't know, I kind of feel like I could take on Michael Myers. But Michael Myers is more clever I think than Jason. But Jason, I feel like is slower.

[A]

I was thinking maybe leprechaun.

[C]

Oh, leprechaun. Yeah. Just kick him out. Or Chucky.

[A]

I thought about Chucky too. But then I was like. I don't know if you are able to take him out.

[B]

He's also a stuffed animal.

[A]

So that kind of. That kind of worried me.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You can't really kill him.

[A]

Die. I don't know.

[C]

Just take out the battery. Batteries.

[B]

Is that what he's running on batteries?

[C]

Water onto fucking Chucky?

[B]

No, I don't think he's. Is he run on batteries? Have you seen the movie?

[C]

He was a doll and he's like, I'll be your friend.

[B]

But batteries were in him.

[C]

Clearly. I bet in the Chucky movies you take out the batteries and he's still alive.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's got to be some sort of plot in it.

[C]

But he's made out of plastic. I feel like we can burn him alive.

[B]

Oh, is he.

[C]

I thought he was not used batteries.

[B]

This is a key part of the horror. Yeah.

[A]

You never know.

[C]

But yeah, maybe I take it back. Maybe Chucky ability to.

[B]

His ability to move and stalk talk stems from voodoo magic and the soul of a human being.

[A]

You can't with that.

[B]

Oh yeah. Yeah. No, so it's almost. It's like a. It's like. It's like a Horcrux. It's like you're kind of. Because a human is inside him.

[A]

No, you got.

[B]

But if a human is running his. He's. You still got advantage because he's small. He's like.

[A]

That means you have to take out somebody else first before you can take him out.

[B]

Got it? Yeah. It's like Voldemort.

[A]

You have to take out the.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Person.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

Who's in charge of it? It.

[A]

See, now you're adding two people.

[C]

But what about Texas Chainsaw Massacre?

[B]

No, no, no, no. There's no shot with them.

[C]

He.

[B]

Dude, he's wearing skin. He's wearing human skin on his face.

[A]

Easily tricked.

[C]

Yes. Yeah, he.

[A]

Maybe you, like, give him some candy, but that.

[B]

That man runs. Have you seen him run with a chainsaw? That man sprints with a chainsaw. I don't think I could do that.

[C]

Okay, but saw, though. Saw. The thing is, the moment you wake up, he's in the other room. You can't even get.

[B]

He's not. This guy. He has cancer. He's not strong like, he has other people work for him, for him.

[C]

He can still be dead, and he's still keeping the game going.

[B]

Yeah, true.

[C]

Actually, he may be the hardest.

[B]

You don't want to see that piggy. You don't want to see that pig mask at, like, a vulnerable moment. That's. That's when you're. You wake up, you're, like, screwed. And the. Don't even give you a chance because he's. He's a good. Like the Jigsaw guy. What's his name?

[C]

Jigsaw.

[B]

Jigsaw, yeah. Yeah. When he gives you a chance. But the people that are working for him, they're just. Him over and they give. They, like, make the machine. Whatever trap you're in, he doesn't give you. They don't give you a chance. So they, like, you always die.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

He's hiring the wrong people on his team. They're always screwing him over and then screwing the whole game over. I know.

[A]

You should do more vetting on employees.

[B]

Yeah. And, like, who's gonna vet them?

[A]

You know, he's checking their LinkedIn.

[B]

Speaking of SAW, I. I don't think they're making another one.

[A]

You were supposed to be in the next one.

[B]

I know. I just don't think they're making another one.

[C]

I bet they'll take, like, a break, and then there'll be another one in two years.

[B]

Like, there's no way they would make an announcement like that on camera and not put me in the next one. Right.

[C]

Like, you got to keep flirting with them, Zane. You got to keep flirting with.

[B]

I don't know how to flirt with. With directors. I don't know, because I don't know. They're. Well, like, you got to set up.

[C]

Some Google alerts on your phone when a new project is being assigned. You see who the director, producer, all of that. Follow them on Instagram, say, you look great.

[B]

You're looking good. Look, you're looking like you're about to make another heater.

[A]

We're so excited over here.

[B]

It could be, but like, it could just be, you know, But I'm glad that I was at least part of the last one, you know. That's something to brag about, of course. You know, I think so.

[A]

Just keep your hopes up.

[B]

I'm happy with it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. It's, it's all, it's all good on this side of town, you know.

[A]

Before we continue, this episode is sponsored by Better Help Guys.

[B]

In a week, it's gonna be World Mental health day on October 10th. And this year we're saying thank you, therapists. Better Help therapists have helped over 5 million people worldwide on their mental health journey journeys. That's millions of stories, millions of journeys. And behind everyone is a therapist who showed up, listened, and helped someone take a step forward. Moments in therapy, like the right question, a safe space to cry or a small win can change lives. This World mental health day, BetterHelp is honoring those connections and the therapists who make them possible, while showing how easy it is to get guidance from licensed therapists online. With better help and with better help.

[A]

You'Re going to get quality therapists that work according to strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the United States. Plus, BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you could focus on your therap goals. You just got to answer a short questionnaire that helps identify your needs and preferences. And their 10 years of experience and industry leading match fulfillment rate means they typically get it right the first time. But if you aren't happy with your match, you can switch to a different therapist at any time from all of their tailored wrecks.

[B]

Exactly. With over 30, 000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform having served over 5 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.77 million client reviews. That's amazing.

[A]

And again, this World Mental Health Day, we're celebrating the therapists who helped millions of people take a step forward. If you're ready to find the right therapist for you, Better Help can help you start that journey. Right now, our listeners are going to get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com Zayn and Heath that's better h.

[B]

Lp.Com ZanaHeath thank you better for sponsoring today's episode. We love you.

[C]

How is your new place coming along though?

[B]

It is is good. We Haven't. Honestly, we haven't had time to, like, set up anything. Every, like, it's like a mess right now because we started moving, like, a week and a half ago. But ever since the move, like, every single day, we've been, like, working. Who's so. Me and Danielle. So I lived with me. It was me, Danielle and Todd.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

The last house. Todd is moving out. He wants. He wants to get his own place. And then me and Danielle are moving into one house. And before you ask, we are roommates. We have no sexual relations. She is like my little sister, so just wanted to get that out.

[C]

Are you dating anyone?

[B]

No.

[C]

Oh, no, no. Going on dates here and there. Yeah, I'm just.

[B]

I'm on the apps. Yeah. Oh, I'm on the apps. I'm swiping every single day on, like, two different apps.

[C]

Swiping right and left.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

What do you mean? Oh. Oh, you think I'm just swiping right. I'm just, like, just going.

[C]

No, no.

[B]

Wait.

[C]

Is left. Yes and right. No, left is.

[B]

No, right is yes.

[C]

Oh, okay. Yeah. But, yeah, but some might be different to some. Okay, cool. So anyways, I don't know. Sorry, I was.

[B]

But yeah, me and Daniel, we. We are moving to the house. We. It's. It's much smaller than the house that we have now, but it's really nice. Really cute.

[C]

Pool lighting is.

[B]

Pool. Yeah, we have a pool.

[C]

Cool.

[B]

We also have, like, a guest guest house where Heath is staying at right now. Cute. AC is bumping. I'm so excited. It's really hard to test out ACs in houses. You have to, like, really, like, live there in order to test it. So I like. We got really lucky with that. The AC works very, very, very well. And I think it's because it's like a smaller house, low ceiling, so it's like.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

See, the best goes through. Yeah.

[A]

Is that. He was eligible for fiber. Oh, we got good.

[B]

That's really exciting, too. I fiber in my house right now.

[C]

Damn.

[B]

So which is great because when we send footage, like podcast footage, any large files, immediately, super fast, immediately to Tennessee, to Mariah.

[C]

Are you going to be doing a big. I don't know, you put so much for your. For your room. Are you going to do your room up again or.

[B]

No, I'm actually going to just kind of copy what my room was because I really don't. You still.

[A]

You still have all the stuff, too. Like, you just wouldn't have your, you know, wallpapers and stuff put Up. You can still do the.

[B]

If I was going to do. If I was going to do anything, I think think because I keep looking at everything, I'm just like, this is such a mess. And I keep putting away and nothing seems right. And I know a lot of people do this, but I think I might do it too. I really. I. I think I want, like a. Like a professional, like, organizer to really. Because what they do, they don't just get what you have and put it away. They, like, buy to make it look good, too. I don't know what I need to buy to separate everything and make it look nice. Because I know, like, they have a brain of like a. All right, these, like, separate, like, these boxes to, like, separ. And make it look nice and, like, what to put on your counter and put on your bathroom space. I just need, like, a pro to make my shit. And I know, like, Alicia just got one for the kitchen, and I know, like, that her kitchen now looks really nice with all the shit still there. So I just want to make it feel like I have my shit together. It's. What Marie, just someone, like, right now when you walk in, you're, like, divorced. That again, like, it's just like, it's. I'm able. I'm unable to escape that. It just looks bad. And I know when I cleaned up and fix it, it's just still going to look like that.

[C]

I'm always.

[B]

I need a woman's touch in my bedroom that's.

[C]

Or a man.

[B]

No, like a woman's touch.

[C]

Maybe a feminine touch.

[B]

Yeah, feminine touch. Just, like, make it look really nice.

[C]

I'm always interested in, like, kitchen organization too, because, like, the layouts of kitchen. Because certain cabinets, where they are there should be like. There's actually a designated cabinet for your plates, but it's hard to figure out where they are. But it's all in. In relationship to where the dishwasher is, where the stove is, and where the refrigerator is. There's like a whole art to that. And sometimes I'm curious if I actually have it right. And I would love an organizer to come in.

[B]

It's so interesting when you move into a house, you're just like, I think we talked about this already. Where it's like, where's the silver? We're gonna go.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Is it going to be the same place as you had in your last house? Like, if you're a guest, where is this? Where would you first guess the silver was going to go? So we were doing all that and we're like, I'm gonna just let Danielle handle this, because I'm just gonna. And she's been like, it's so funny, like, living with a girl, because she, like, I've been trying to push it away, and she's like. She gets so angry with me. She's like, just don't touch anything. I want to put everything away. And then you figure it out. I was like, oh, yeah, that's fine, because. And it makes sense because she's got a method. She's got a method. Yeah. But I'm just like, hey, can you hurry up? Because I can't look at this. I can't look at this place. The message still like that. She's. She went. She's gone for the weekend now, so it's still a mess.

[C]

But is it, like, a very new house or is it, like, old? Old. It's modern.

[B]

Pretty new.

[C]

It's modern.

[B]

Pretty modern, yeah.

[C]

Nothing, like, spooky about it or anything.

[B]

No, no, nothing's been. Nobody. I don't think anybody's died there.

[C]

Okay, that's good. No bad juju.

[B]

It's real. This is really funny because right before I signed the lease for the house, especially since we're on a time crunch, so I was just like, well, like, I gotta get a house quick. That was actually the first house that I looked at. And I was like, oh, this is perfect. Let's get it.

[C]

Boom.

[B]

We got it in. Like, literally this the fastest time to ever, like, decide that we need to move, and then got the house locked in. It was crazy, crazy, crazy. I couldn't believe how fast it happened. Happened. And. And it was so fast where as we're moving in there, I'm like, okay, oh, we could just put all this in the garage. And then it hit me. There's no garage. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, garage, no garage.

[A]

He's telling the movers. Yeah, just go put that in the garage.

[B]

Yeah, it was just like, there's just no garage. And I was like, oh, okay. Because I have so much in my garage, like, in my garage, where I'm like, oh, my God. I can't put this anywhere because the garage is pretty much. It's just outside. Like, there's just really. What? You know, what?

[A]

You would drive underneath and then the garage is set in the back.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But they converted that to an adu. Like, that's where the garage was.

[B]

So I was like, it's fine. It's cool. We're gonna. Because it's. Because the garage right now Looks like looking hoarding hell. And we have all, like, the decorations and stuff for in that garage. We have, like, all of, you know, my paint, my, my art with my belt, belly.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Where the am I gonna put that? Like, I'm not like, you can't hang that up anywhere because it's a small house.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And you just, you don't want that sitting up anywhere. Like, I, I. In the beginning, it was, like, funny, but now it just, it's like something Charlie Sheen would have in his house, like, up anywhere in sight. And if you have it in the bathroom, it's so big where it's just like. Oh, God. Like, you just, like, you don't want to scare people. But it's also like, to me, it's like, it's. You don't want to throw it out.

[C]

Because it was in the bathroom.

[B]

No. No.

[C]

You got a sense of humor, Zane. I think, like, your belly mold can, like, look good, but you're also forgetting.

[B]

Like, Danielle, like, will just be pissed at me every day if I had that hung up.

[C]

I'll talk to her.

[B]

Please talk to her. I, I, like, I don't. I told her, like, she could do whatever she wants to do the house because she, like, that's her thing.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know. Back. It's up in your room.

[C]

They're just like, what is this?

[A]

I thought he had his together.

[B]

Yeah, no, no. But it's. It's really funny how, like, my hoarding days are over. Like, I cannot hoard anything. I was saying because Danielle is a bit of a hoarder, where she's like, I really want, like, to bring these things. I'm like, danielle, trust me, if you're not going to look at this or touch this in fucking two years, you got to toss it away. Because I'm really good at hoarding now. Like, I've like, my hoarding. I think. I think I. The hoarding days ended for me when I was at. When I was at cling. Either cling or. But like, I remember. Or Denny. Denny days. Remember my room?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The disaster. And then I was just like, it clicked. And I was just like, fucking toss everything out. And I do it every time I move now. I tossed 70% of shit in that dumpster that I got for the house. I looked at. I was like, I can't believe I'm tossing. I toss it out because I haven't used it in a year.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But it was, like, pretty special to me. But I still toss it out.

[C]

If something's like bulk. Yeah. It's where you draw the line of like, is this sentimental and important? Yeah, if it's someone who wrote me a very nice letter. But it has to be like something that's like thin too. Like a nice letter. Cards from people. Sometimes I keep those, those wedding invites. I'm always like, do I keep these? Do I throw them away? I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, I have like a binder folder in my office that has just like all Christmas birthday cards, things like that.

[B]

Every single one. Like, doesn't matter from who.

[C]

Like Pokemon cards of just everyone's like.

[A]

I like to go back and read them.

[C]

Yeah, that's actually not a bad idea.

[A]

It's cute.

[B]

I wish, I wish I was more sentimental like that.

[A]

Like, if they, if they pass away, you can go back and read it. It's kind of.

[C]

But if you give me a birthday card that just says Happy birthday and sign your name. Sorry, I'm tossing it.

[B]

Why? Why?

[C]

Because you didn't write anything.

[B]

Because that's what I did.

[A]

Yeah, you got.

[C]

Someone wrote a thoughtful letter. You have good handwriting.

[B]

Yeah, I do. I've had the same handwriting since first grade.

[C]

Oh, I feel like I knew this.

[A]

How long does it take you to pick out a card?

[C]

Five minutes.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[C]

Five minutes if I'm in the card aisle.

[A]

Yeah, Five minutes. It's pretty good.

[B]

Oh, it takes me five seconds. I. I literally go to like my dad's birthday. I go to dad section. Boom, boom, boom. I look at it and if it looks like. I also. I like to go by age.

[A]

You don't read them all and then make.

[B]

No, I do, but I go by like a, like age or like, if it. I do actually, you know, I do read it. I do read it to make sure it like makes sense to like.

[A]

Because some of them are wild and super niche.

[B]

You're like, yeah, yeah.

[C]

It's like, yeah, happy birthday to my sister in law's nephew. Oh, yeah.

[B]

They've become very, very. They've like expanded to very.

[A]

Then they've got like, happy birthday. Happy birthday. And then they got happy birthday. Like from like the husband's perspective.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

There's so many different kinds.

[B]

Were we talking. I. I think a long time we were talking about, like, didn't somebody give a card that said something to a work. No, to a work wife? Were we talking about this, Matt? Like, it was like a, A work. A guy gave it to his work wife, but he has a wife. But like, but he was like, oh, you're my work wife. And like everyone's like, oh, that is not. Why are you getting a work wife card for your.

[C]

Were we.

[B]

Did we not talk about that?

[A]

I remember that big thing. Yeah.

[B]

I don't know if it's like a big tick tock thing or not, but yeah, that's really funny. But yeah. Different niches. They got so many different cars now. You can get. Why I just.

[A]

They're just way too expensive.

[B]

I do like the. They have.

[C]

They are way too expensive.

[A]

What they are. It's way too much money.

[B]

How much are they now?

[C]

I don't know. Sometimes they're like 8 bucks for a card. But you know what? I don't know. You gotta support. Support the card business. Yeah. I don't know.

[B]

It makes it. Because I think there's people that really take their time because there are people that take their time and making those cards and make it like, like make it special. It reminds me of Mr. Dudes. I don't know. I think that that's why I just thought about.

[C]

I always think of Mr. Dude.

[A]

Not a card though. I. I enjoy.

[B]

But you know, some of these are AI like look at that top left one right there. That's no right. Now go up that top left one. 100. AI make me a happy birthday.

[C]

Yes. Kind of cake.

[A]

And.

[B]

And the cake is made out of paper machete. Boom. That's what's going to come up. Yeah. Paper machete.

[C]

Paper mache.

[B]

Mache.

[A]

Machete.

[C]

I love me paper mache.

[A]

Have you done one?

[C]

No, not since I don't know, when I was 8.

[A]

What would you sculpt a balloon?

[C]

Well, you would inflate a balloon.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Paper mache. The balloon. Pop the balloon. And then you kind of had like an alien head and you would paint an alien head. I. That's my go to paper mache. And then I feel like I made a Power Ranger out of papier mache one time where you ball up a bunch of newspaper. Paper mache. The outside of that and then you get like a head. Then you do the body, you do the arms and you have a little paper mache.

[B]

I've never been able to do a project. I was never. Because I've seen so many people do projects.

[C]

Paper mache, you get flour and water. You mix that up and then you get strips of newspaper.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Dip it.

[A]

And then you put that plaster stuff.

[C]

Hardens and you let it dry.

[A]

The only thing I did that was similar was like fiberglass.

[C]

Fiberglass.

[A]

Yeah. That's. It's very similar.

[C]

It's a dangerous to, like, even touch or play with.

[A]

I don't know. When I was working on my car with my dad, we were just fiberglass and.

[B]

Okay, is this. Is this how you make the planet?

[A]

You put the fiber, like, stuff down wearing gloves, right? Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And you would, like, lay it over whatever you needed to, like, close or cover or make hard. And then you would paint the resin stuff, whatever it is that hardens on top of. Of it.

[C]

Oh, cool.

[A]

And then it would cure, and then it would turn really, really hard. Oh, similar. You should have, like, a paper mache.

[B]

You have a show like paper mache or real. Like, you know, it's like cake. Or real real. Or does that show.

[C]

Very nice. Something saying that.

[A]

Netflix. What are we missing here, guys?

[C]

Speaking of. Speaking of hoarding, did y' all see Denise Richards house? No. So Denise Richards apparently has in the process of getting divorced or is now divorced from her husband, who's an actor named Aaron. I really don't recognize the guy from movies or anything, but I think he's been on some popular TV shows. So their divorce has been so bad to where he decides he's going to go around with the camera and film the upstairs of their house, which is in total disarray, that Denise has apparently left it in this condition. He, him and his parents live, I think, on the bottom floor, along with Denise Richards, 15 to 20 dogs. And I don't think Denise Richards has lived in this house. This is crazy level of. But I want to say all respect to whatever they're going through in their divorce, but pettiness to where he felt the. The need to film this. But it's also.

[B]

Oh, you're saying it was petty of him to, like, have a camera crew come in there.

[C]

But I think he's doing it to show, like, to win more of his side of the case.

[B]

Oh, so there's. You think there's a lawsuit happening? And he's like. But doesn't this hurt him if he's, like, bringing in press to, like, come. Oh, look at.

[C]

But I think it maybe goes to show she's not stable enough to. I don't want to say, like, to be a mother or just maybe.

[B]

Maybe you think this happened after the, like, the lawsuit was done. Because that is crazy to, like, have this.

[C]

So. So he's walking around for the people listening. It's just that you'll. You can look it up on your own. He's gotten these cameras through. Through. This is a disorganized room, but it is filthy.

[B]

Just.

[C]

This is probably her daughter's room.

[B]

Oh, so she.

[C]

She left her bedroom.

[B]

She left it like this when she moved out?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

And there's just wine stains in the corner. She. He says that she keeps buying new makeup and there's just. The makeup keeps piling up. There's vintage clothes that have mothballs and moths taking all over it. It's disgusting.

[B]

It's so crazy because you can easily hire a team to clean that out. Like, as you're moving out. There's so many. They have so many companies like that where they help you. Especially, like, you know, older people, you know, they can't move all that shit themselves. They have like literally whole teams. Wait, what was that?

[C]

What was that look like? It was piled up with just dirty paper towels.

[A]

Matt, you know what that looked like the spongebob episode where he's like. And it's just diapers everywhere.

[B]

You know that. What was that TLC episode where the old lady is like in a pile of cigar house and she's like, hey, do you remember what I'm talking about?

[C]

Oh, she's like, this is my kitchen.

[B]

She's like doing like snow angels in her. Yes, yes.

[C]

Get it together, Denise.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Also, I just can't believe Denise has 15 to $20 dogs. I think that should be illegal. Oh, gosh.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

She looks like Zordon dying in Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

It's like when you make a fort as a kid and you're just like in your living room and like covered.

[B]

With everything and guys, I have no room. No room to be laughing. And I know I am, but that's exactly what my room looked like when I lived at the Denny house. It was. Was just. It kept piling on and piling on and I. There was nowhere, like, there was no light at the end of the tunnel. I just like, was. That was my life.

[C]

I want to say a few things about the Denise Richard things. You know, I know that she has also been claiming domestic violence. That it's a very, like, serious situation for them. I don't know, like, what is real, what is not if he staged all that up. But I will say, Denise Richards, if you have 15 dogs that are your dogs with your ex husband, go pick them up and find them homes. That is. Is like disgusting that those dogs have to live in that state of squalor.

[B]

Wait, is that. Wait, the dogs were in there still?

[C]

Yeah, they said, yeah, she has all these dogs that are hers, but she. And you don't live there for the past two years. Pick up your dogs. Why are you making your ex husband.

[B]

They're cute too.

[C]

Look at them in your in law. It's just. That's sad. It's sad. But then, I don't know, maybe the husband staged the mess. I don't know. But clean it up.

[B]

Yeah. Good little PR move on his end. That's him.

[C]

Yeah, that's him.

[B]

That's so crazy that these like celebrities like this seems like so such an old thing to do. Like this seems like something that like I feel like if you were to ask me right now, like I popped in, it's like, when was this posted? Oh, like 15 years ago. There's no way people are doing this right now. Like putting their wife on blast on like a. What news channel is this?

[C]

I don't know, probably just.

[B]

Yeah, it just like, it just seems like something where you just don't do anymore.

[C]

Anymore.

[A]

Keep stuff private.

[B]

Yeah. Like it doesn't matter how messy your divorce is. Like why are you putting that out there like that?

[C]

He clearly wants the publicity too and.

[A]

He'S trying to be the likable side and I don't know. You don't know anybody's circumstances or situations.

[C]

We don't, but that's.

[A]

And for us to see it and only come to a conclusion with what we've seen.

[B]

Yes, exactly. How.

[C]

But how are you living downstairs in that big of a house with your parents still? If I had that 3 million dollar house, I would be like, let's clean up upstairs and enjoy the primary bedroom room where my ex wife is not staying in.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

I'm talking out of my ass, but yeah, that was crazy.

[B]

It's very. Yeah, that's.

[A]

Wow. Yeah, those dogs are.

[B]

I'll take one. I'll say. I. Every, every like every month I like think about getting a dog more and more because I'm like, I'm just like ready for a dog.

[C]

Don't, don't get a dog. Get a cat. No, I don't want dude dogs. I mean, all respect every, all dogs need a home. Yeah, but also dogs. The moment you leave your dog, your dog is thinking of you.

[B]

I know, but like I feel like I don't leave a lot.

[C]

Okay, well then if that works for your lifestyle, do it.

[B]

But dude, a cat is like to me, I might as well not have a cat. I'm sorry, Heath. I just might as well not have a cat. It's just like, this is crazy. The cat, it's More of just like. It's like it's not gonna come and cuddle with me. I'm just like, when it comes to pets, I like, just. I'm just so selfish. I just want them to come to me and like, I want them to be able to lay next to me when I want. Want and cuddled me. I don't mind sleeping in my bed.

[C]

But also, cats, you kind of have to have a decently sized house for a cat. Sometimes you can have like too big of a house where, like a cat you're not gonna see it too.

[B]

Just get.

[C]

I mean, like, I'm talking about people have like massive mansions. You have a cat, like, oh, yeah, I think you're never gonna see that cat. Maybe the cat just wants to be near you. But yeah, you gotta have like a good sized home for a cat too.

[B]

That is true. Yeah. You don't want a big mansion. You'll lose that thing.

[C]

Yeah. Because dogs, they like to be alone.

[A]

A lot too, so.

[B]

It's so lonely in my mansion.

[A]

What kind of dog would you get though?

[B]

One that doesn't shed so much.

[C]

A Samoyed. Aren't those hyperallergenic? Do they shed Samoyed?

[A]

Huge.

[B]

I'm really bad with dog breeds. That's like, literally my weakness is Samoyed. That thing does not shed. That looks like a.

[C]

Maybe they're hypoallergenic or like, they know.

[B]

They'Re like, good for people that are.

[C]

I mean, a dog like that has to shed.

[B]

What do I. Yeah, look at that.

[C]

But they're gorgeous dogs, dogs.

[B]

I love shiba inus. But they shed like a motherfucker too.

[A]

They do.

[C]

Shiba inus.

[B]

Yeah. They're so cute to me.

[C]

I can never, like, figure out their personalities though. I mean.

[B]

What do you mean?

[C]

Like, I don't know.

[B]

You can't figure out their personalities? I think they're. They have anxiety.

[C]

I love.

[B]

They got like, anxiety and stuff.

[C]

I love corgis, but every corgi I'm I've met is not that friendly. They love their owners, but they don't like strangers that much.

[B]

Who has a corgi?

[C]

The Queen. Oh, wait, RIP The Queen.

[B]

The Queen. I thought you were saying that, like, referring to one of our friends as the Queen.

[C]

The Queen made Welsh corgis so popular. I think they're the cutest dogs.

[B]

You think they're just like us, like, sassy. Like, they're just like sasso.

[C]

They always run around with their owner.

[A]

Bark a lot.

[C]

They bark a lot.

[B]

Who do we know that. Look at that ass.

[C]

You little bum.

[A]

Keep that dog away from Zane.

[B]

My God. Wagon.

[A]

I like him.

[B]

I like him.

[A]

I like.

[C]

I like them because they. They have features of what would be like a big dog, but they're small. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like a Chihuahua. Yeah. I like corgis, and you can get them mixed with other breeds. But you know what? Adopt, don't shop.

[B]

Yes. Adopt, adopt, don't shop. Oh, like, never buy a pet.

[A]

Don't buy.

[C]

I have always had differing opinions about that.

[B]

Where are all dogs, like, important? I don't know. Like, why?

[C]

Because the dog that gets first sale still needs to be to find a home.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But I think.

[B]

I don't get that.

[C]

Don't financially put yourself.

[A]

Dog prices are outrageous.

[B]

Yeah. Why are.

[A]

They are absurd.

[B]

Like $8,000. What?

[A]

I don't get it.

[C]

Because I want a Scottish fold cat, but Taylor Swift gets to have eight of them, but apparently hers are rescues. But I'm not buying that.

[B]

Yeah, I'm not buying that either. There's no way.

[A]

But I rescued from the pet store.

[C]

It frustrates me.

[A]

From the bread reader.

[C]

Yeah, right? Yeah.

[B]

Oh, Lolo. That name. Oh, we're changing. That name.

[C]

Isn't Sotomayor. Isn't she, like, one of the judges on, like, the Supreme Court?

[B]

Why is there last names on these dogs?

[A]

Big cats.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Yeah. She's a justice of the Supreme Court.

[B]

When them.

[A]

Matt, have you seen those big cats that are, like, $20,000, like the Bengal cats? Yes.

[C]

Doesn't Justin Bieber have one? And you have to feed them, like, raw meat. You have to feed them, like, cow.

[B]

Wait, can I. Can I look at the Bengal cat?

[A]

They're crazy.

[B]

Wait, do they have, like, cheetah skin?

[A]

Yeah, they got, like, spots and.

[B]

Oh, so does Brook Schofield have the Bengal cat?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

How does hers look? Like a cheetah.

[A]

I know that. The petro.

[B]

Yeah, that's literally what. That's. That's. That's what Brooke has. But it's not that big.

[A]

Go. Go down a little bit right there. He's. That kid's got two of them. Damn, they're crazy.

[B]

Oh, dude, that would scare me to, like, just let that thing near me, like, when I'm sleeping. I think it would tear me up.

[C]

Yeah. Because you can't feed that, like, dry cat food.

[B]

Oh, so me.

[C]

Me.

[A]

That's like a legit, like, mountain lion.

[C]

Yeah. When they kiss, it's like. It's not like a.

[B]

It's like, it, like, Rumbles.

[A]

It's got like a growl to it.

[B]

Yeah, no, that's something where you wake up in the middle of the night and it's halfway through your stomach.

[C]

Dogs rock, though. Dogs are like. Dogs are man's best friend, dumbass.

[B]

Rocks. But you gotta love them. You love them.

[C]

Cats are.

[B]

Look at Vinny. Oh, my God.

[C]

But it's all. It's crazy. All the different shapes and sizes. Dogs come in the scales of them. Like, cats don't have that crazy of a. What genetic biodiversity to their species. Like, dogs are unbelievable. All the different types there are.

[B]

I love that coconut.

[A]

Oh, yeah, get one.

[B]

I will think about it.

[C]

Saying think about it years.

[B]

I. Maybe I'll get one. Matt, what have you been up to these past two weeks?

[C]

Oh, my gosh. Past two weeks. I mean, I've been here, but before that I was in Croatia in Greece.

[B]

Oh my God, Croatia.

[C]

Unbelievable. Did you ever go?

[B]

No, I've never been there. But I knew you. I know you went to the.

[C]

I went to Kings to the Game of Thrones set.

[B]

Oh, he was sending me pictures and it's crazy because Danielle went literally two days before you and sending me the same picture.

[C]

I know I didn't get to link up with her because I missed her by like a few days and she was down the.

[B]

Yeah, you both are sending me literally same spot.

[C]

So like Croatia. Dubrovnik blew my mind. I was so.

[B]

I really want to go by that.

[C]

The city, the country. I don't get why anybody goes to Italy when if you're looking for a Mediterranean vibe with amazing food. Food, gorgeous, clear blue water and coastlines. It was incredible. Loved it. King's Landing, we did that.

[B]

Oh my God.

[C]

We did that for about three days with my brother and my sister in law and her sister and just for just like vacation.

[B]

Just no reason.

[C]

We linked up for three days and then we all split and did our other ways. Loved Croatia. Then I went to Greece with Patricia. That was awesome. We went to Paros and Naxos, which are two islands. We didn't go to like Athens or see the Acropolis. We didn't do all the hardcore.

[B]

I feel like you should go to like places that like, it's not like huge, like huge. Widely.

[C]

I didn't want to be around a bunch of foot traffic and be stressed out. I'll see.

[A]

You want authentic. Go to Mykonos.

[C]

Yes, yes.

[B]

And stay at like that. That white hotel.

[C]

But we had a great time. One wild thing we did, we went to a nude beach.

[B]

So wait, did you Just, like, stop by or did you participate?

[C]

So, one.

[B]

Did you.

[C]

One day I was going.

[A]

Followed the rules, right?

[C]

I went to go rent a Polaris, and I was walking by a beach, and I already saw some, like, naked people on the beach. And I was like, oh, we're in this side of the world. Okay, cool. That's a thing. And then I was on maps looking around and near our hotel was, like, on the maps listed was like, this is a nude beach.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And Patricia and I were like, should we go, like, let's just go, like, stop by. Let's just go stop by and see what the vibe is. We went. And we're walking up from a distance. We see kind of like a sea of people or. Or like a group of people were like, is this. Is this a nude beach? I'm like, those people. These got, like, swimsuits on. We get closer and closer. They're fully naked, standing around, and we look out. And I would say it was packed, but it just looked like a bunch of nude bodies. It looked like a bunch of just walruses out on the beach.

[B]

And would you say, I. I mean, I bet you the crowd is all over. Older, right?

[C]

Yeah, they definitely majority. I would say older people, but there were some, like, young people our age hanging around.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

And I wore a speedo that day because I'm like, if I'm gonna wear any type of swimsuit to the nude beach, I'll wear a Speedo. So I got a speedo class.

[B]

Keep it classy.

[C]

But then we got there, and we, like, sat down. We're like, let's do it. So went. Went bottoms off.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Made sure I had sunscreen on in all the right places.

[A]

All right, well, Matt, you had the sunscreen sunscreen it.

[C]

Oh, yeah, definitely. But I was, like, kind of sitting there, you know, like, with my.

[B]

My.

[A]

Somebody sees you sunscreen it.

[C]

They're like, pervert. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, I know.

[C]

I was just like, how do I apply this without, like, I don't know, semen? And the whole time we were there, we're like, oh, God, I hope we're not. Like, we, like, fear was getting. Or just getting recognized. Like, oh, my God.

[B]

You brought that up because a fan was there, took a picture of you. Jared, bring it off.

[C]

No, I'm kidding. Oh, my. Dude, my heart.

[A]

That was good.

[C]

My heart sank.

[B]

Imagine Matt just, like, just with his glasses on.

[C]

There was one guy behind us, though, who was just, like, lounging at Zane, like, laying back, but, like, just on his phone and. But, like, right behind Us. And I'm like, why are you on your phone at a nude beach? I think phone should be banned at a nude. Like, to where Jared is.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I'm sure there's phones everywhere. Especially, like, from the creeps. It's like a creep central. Like, that's the best place for just the wrong person.

[C]

And it was like, you know, we sat down, you know, Patricia just went top off. She wouldn't go, like, bottoms out. Yeah, they. And then I was like, oh, I gotta pee. And like, you know, you gotta go in the water if you gotta go pee. And that was just, Just walking down. I have never felt that free tree as a bird. And on a beach. It was pretty nice. And then Patricia and I, we got in the water, like, together, and it was wild. Like, Patricia's naked and there's people behind her. It felt like you were like in a dream where you're like, you, you, you know, there's dreams where you are naked. It was just, it was just bananas.

[B]

I'm just literally in my head, I'm just imagining that scene from Euro Trip. Have you ever seen Euro Trip? You've never seen your trip? Oh, my God. Yeah. There's a scene where, like, a group of four for a brother, sister, and two friends, they go and they're at a nude beach. And the, the sister takes her to the brother's, like, oh, God. But it was a sea. The guys are excited, but it was a sea of old men. That was the only people at the beach.

[C]

Michelle Trachtenberg, R.I.P.

[B]

Yeah, right there. There's a scene of all the guys running after the four of them. And it was all naked old men running. It was so funny.

[C]

And it wasn't creepy when we were there. It, it just, it made you kind of realize how much how taboo we make nakedness and how normal it is for them, you know, just other countries.

[B]

I, I, I, we are definitely the mo. The stricter out of, like, any country when it comes to that type of stuff.

[C]

Yeah, we're pretty modest, actually.

[B]

No, no, we're not.

[C]

There's other.

[B]

There's definitely other. Just hit me. Yep. Yep. It just hit me.

[A]

You're Muslim.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

I would never go to a nude beach with, like, friends, though, but as, like, a couple. It was just kind of like a fun experience to say, you've done it. Yeah, it was cool.

[B]

Yeah. I'm definitely not confident enough to be at a new beach. But, you know, you know, I, I'll definitely. I could swing by, but I couldn't participate. No, no way.

[A]

That's crazy.

[C]

Yeah, it was wild.

[B]

Oh, it's one more thing before. It's also. It's. It's funny because we were trying to make this episode really special. Heath and I were trying for the past month. Month to find an artist to perform at the end of this episode. We were trying so hard and we could not find anybody to make the ending of this episode.

[A]

You know, like magical talk shows, late night.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Have like a special performance.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That was always been my dream. And I was like, we can't because we're going to, like, big artists. And like, all of them were like, we can't just shut down. We're like, okay, it's not gonna happen. What Heath does not know is that we actually did lock someone in.

[A]

Did we really?

[B]

Three weeks ago.

[A]

Shut up.

[B]

And they are here right now.

[A]

Jared, is this real?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's no fucking way.

[C]

I don't know about this, Heath.

[B]

I've been. I've been shivering this entire. This entire week about this. My stomach has dropped like there's three times. There is someone. There is someone here right now. What we need to do do. We need to blindfold both of you and also put headphones on you because we cannot let you see or hear anything. So, Jared, can you please bring the headphones and the blindfolds?

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Way. We got somebody. See, this is why I can't trust Zayn. He's too good at lying.

[B]

Here we go.

[C]

Okay. Oh, my gosh. I might now all these people.

[B]

I don't even know if you notice how well my fast. My husband doing this whole episode.

[A]

This is crazy.

[B]

We're going to set up as you guys are waiting, so let's shut these lights off. Yep.

[A]

I think I'm just more surprised somebody said yes.

[B]

Oh, trust me, you're going to be surprised. All right, guys, take your blindfold off. This is very important. You have to get this on the first try. We don't have another. It has to be on the first try. Matt, you're going to be our lovely host, and you're going to present. Present the artist tonight. I'm gonna give you. I'm gonna give you where you're gonna read on the phone, and then I'm gonna switch it over to a note card, and that is the first time you will hear it and you will see it.

[C]

We have the absolute honor of presenting today's special guest. Give it up. For what?

[B]

Shut up.

[C]

No way.

[A]

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[B]

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