308: Surprising Zane with his Ex...

Summary

Zane & Heath: UNFILTERED
Episode 308: Surprising Zane with his Ex…
November 17, 2025

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Overview

This episode of Zane & Heath: Unfiltered centers around Zane's birthday and an unexpected reunion—with his former assistant, Leah. The hosts surprise Zane by bringing Leah back on the show for the first time since she left his employment, leading to a candid, hilarious, and occasionally reflective conversation. The group dives into stories about working with celebrities, wild assistant tales, dating escapades, upcoming life changes, and life lessons gleaned from LA. The tone is lively, teasing, and warm—classic Zane & Heath fare, with genuine moments of both humor and heart.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Zane's Birthday & The Big Surprise

• The Set Up: The gang teases Zane with a mysterious box and a blindfold, building up suspense for his birthday (26:00).
• The Reveal: Leah, Zane's ex-assistant, emerges as the surprise guest. The group immediately jokes about her quitting, with Leah playfully offering up her resume to get her old job back (28:14).
  • Quote:
    "I actually came here to get my job back." – Leah (28:45)
• Clarification: The nature of Leah’s "ex" status—she’s Zane’s ex-assistant, not ex-girlfriend. It’s all in good humor, and they acknowledge they’re still friends (28:25).

Leah's Life After Zane: Wild Assistant Stories & Working for Celebrities

• Job From Hell: Leah describes moving on to assist a "C/D-list" reality star after leaving Zane—and it was a nightmare.
  • Assistant was “degraded daily” and told she never worked for someone so famous (33:25).
  • "I worked for the Kardashians. Baby, like...who are you?" – Leah (33:41)
• Evacuating a Closet: Fires hit LA, and Leah is tasked with evacuating hundreds of designer bags, only to be told the next day to put it all back (36:14).
• No-Win Situations: Leah receives criticism no matter what she does—if she takes initiative, she's told she can't follow directions; if she holds back, she’s “not helping” (40:37).

Notable quote:

“You can never follow directions. I can’t understand why you went to go pick them up.” – Leah's boss (40:54)

• Getting Fired (and Quitting): Eventually, Leah and her boss have a dramatic confrontation, ending with both parties basically firing each other—and then hugging it out (45:42).
  • "If you're gonna keep yelling at me, then I'm just gonna sit here." – Leah (45:14)

Reflections on Fame, Social Media, and Reputation

• Cleaning Digital Footprints: Leah discusses scrubbing her social media and prepping for a “new era” as she’s about to debut on a reality TV show (77:31).
• Getting Recognized: The group talks about the weirdness of internet fame—Leah recounts being recognized at Trader Joe's for a viral Venmo moment, and what it's like having people know you just from the internet (78:30).

Leah’s Adventures in LA: “Ring Model” to Reality TV

• “Modeling” Scam: Leah tells a wild story about nearly being recruited into a high-end escort/prostitution ring under the guise of being a “ring model for athletes.”
  • Quote: “He basically starts describing prostitution to me...High end escort. He’s like, ‘I’m going to show you the life you’re about to live.’” – Leah (73:10)
• Career Moves: Leah gets DMed by a casting director for a new TV show—a dream opportunity she never saw coming (49:08).

Dating, Relationships, and Situationships

• New Guy Talk: Leah shares her recent dating experiences—navigating “situationships,” red flags (like no social media), and setting boundaries (58:41).
  • Quote:
    "I want a situationship, but somebody that does stuff still. I don’t want someone just to come over." – Leah (59:31)
• Advice from the Guys: The group discusses the pros and cons of keeping things casual as Leah’s reality TV life ramps up. Heath and Matt advise enjoying the connection as it is, and “don’t rush anything” (56:00).

Baby on the Way: Heath’s Countdown to Fatherhood

• Heath updates everyone on the impending arrival of his baby. The group teases Italian names and talk about preparing for the unknown (62:00).
• Leah and the hosts discuss baby traditions, meal trains, anxiety (or lack thereof) about birth, and the logistics of hospital stays (64:00).

Domestic Disasters & TMI Tales

• Housekeepers Gone Wild: Leah and the hosts swap stories about boundary-crossing housekeepers—from thirst traps in Zane’s bedroom to Leah’s vibrators being neatly arranged by her cleaner (88:13).
• "I get home, every single one of my vibrators is lined up on my dresser. Lined up." – Leah (89:10)

Celebrity (Non)Secrets

• Leah discusses her time nannying for the Kardashians—what’s appropriate to share, what isn’t, and the risks when social media crosses into celebrity privacy (83:53).
  • Story about Queen Latifah intervening to get her blacklisted from an agency due to Leah’s TikToks about nannying, despite them being mostly harmless (85:09).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote / Moment | |------------|---------|-------------------------------------------------------------| | 26:02 | Leah | "I actually came here to get my job back." | | 33:41 | Leah | "I worked for the Kardashians. Baby, like... who are you?" | | 45:14 | Leah | "If you're gonna keep yelling at me, then I'm just gonna sit here." | | 49:08 | Leah | "I received this DM and it's a casting director, and it's something that's, like, right up my alley." | | 58:41 | Leah | "Would you be down to order takeout and watch a movie again? So I'm like, is that setting it up...?" | | 73:10 | Leah | "He basically starts describing prostitution to me...High end escort." | | 78:30 | Leah | "I was at Trader Joe's the other day and this girl goes, I know you." | | 83:53 | Leah | "You could literally google me and it says 'Leah Bars Kourtney Kardashian nanny...'" | | 89:10 | Leah | "I get home, every single one of my vibrators is lined up on my dresser. Lined up." |

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• 26:00 - Leah, Zane’s ex-assistant, revealed as the birthday surprise
• 28:14 - Clarifying Leah’s role as ex-assistant (not ex-girlfriend)
• 33:41 – 38:37 - Leah’s "job from hell" with a reality TV star + closet evacuation story
• 45:14 - Dramatic "firing"/quitting showdown
• 49:08 - Leah talks about being cast on a reality TV show
• 58:41 - Leah’s latest situationship and dating woes
• 62:00 - Baby talk: Heath prepares for fatherhood, Italian names, family traditions
• 73:10 - Leah nearly duped into an escort scam
• 78:30 - Leah on being recognized for viral TikToks and Venmo stories
• 83:53 - Leah discusses her time working for Kourtney Kardashian and Queen Latifah drama
• 88:13 - Housekeeper overshares: the vibrator lineup disaster

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Tone & Style

The hosts and Leah are candid, teasing, and self-deprecating. The episode is filled with laughter, LA inside scoops, and the kind of real talk about jobs, friendships, and self-worth that’s both funny and relatable. Leah’s unfiltered storytelling blends perfectly with the Zane & Heath dynamic.

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a quintessential "Unfiltered" experience—sexcapades, industry horror stories, emotional growth, and hilarious mishaps all wrapped up in one. Leah’s return gives fans closure and plenty of juicy new material, promising even bigger chaos to come when her reality TV debut drops. It’s an episode for anyone who loves showbiz tea, behind-the-scenes drama, and reminders that even in LA, sometimes you just want clean socks for your birthday.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[C]

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[B]

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[A]

Hello, I'm here during the lunch rush with Janice, who owns her own food truck.

[B]

Best cheesesteaks in town.

[A]

Janice traded up to Geico Commercial Auto Insurance for her food truck business. We're here where she needs us most.

[B]

They sure are.

[A]

We make it so easy for her to save with customised coverage that grows with her business. Sorry, I just get so emotional talking about saving folks money.

[B]

Not this onion I'm chopping.

[A]

It's just so beautiful.

[B]

Oh yeah, Nice. The onion.

[C]

Get a commercial auto insurance quote [e-mail] and see how much you could save.

[A]

Get more with Geico.

[C]

All right, the box is set.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Zane, remove your blindfold.

[A]

It's. Why is it so big? Is somebody in there?

[C]

Yeah. You guys might not have left on the best note with one another.

[A]

Are you pranking me back from the fucking Justin Bieber? This is nowhere near the Justin Bieber prank bit. I think. Just come on out. Oh my God.

[C]

I got a parking ticket this morning.

[A]

Matt, I know you always get tickets.

[C]

Do I? Do I feel like I have not gotten a parking ticket in at least?

[A]

I know. I'm sorry. I was just starting to argument.

[C]

O. No, it was. It was totally my mistake. It was street cleaning, you know, it was in the Monday zone.

[A]

Street clean. Are the like the. The most annoying tickets to fucking get?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

First of all, like, isn't it. Don't they do street cleaning like twice.

[C]

A week on one side one week and another day the other side another day of the week.

[A]

Why are we cleaning the streets?

[C]

We need to. It's la. It's filthy.

[A]

I think everybody should have their own section to have to clean.

[C]

You think so? Yeah. Like we have to clean it.

[A]

What is it? Like, what is that thing? Like a vacuum? Like, is it a giant vacuum?

[C]

It's a big toothbr kind of thing that just kind of sweeps up.

[A]

So would you say it's like the one of those. Those Dyson vacuums where it's also. It's also mopping it at the same time? Like what is it?

[C]

I don't know if they're like putting. It's wire bristles. Yeah, it's just wire bristles. Picking up trash, collecting it. It's just annoying when it's like wait, what day is it and which side of the week I'm on and where did I park?

[A]

And they don't do that for anywhere else but the. But the sides but this I guess they never.

[C]

Doing your own like alleys. Do it for the streets I guess the main streets. I still think they do it on. Good point.

[A]

In the middle of the night.

[C]

I don't know. I feel like it's on the parking signs at least whenever you're parking.

[D]

Would they, would they have to do it if people weren't littering?

[C]

I'm not sure. I feel like it's just la. I feel like most cities, big cities do it. I don't know.

[A]

You know what I.

[C]

73 bucks, you know, got a car.

[A]

On the highway that I rarely see a car pulling over somebody.

[C]

Oh, for speeding on the highway?

[A]

Yeah, I just never see it.

[C]

Yeah, you never really see it happen on the highway ever.

[A]

I saw it in the beginning when I first moved out here. But then like every year it's less and less I see people getting saw stopped.

[C]

Yeah ever.

[A]

Especially when's the last time you saw someone get stopped in like a regular street, like not a highway.

[C]

Occasionally I do. I mean I got pulled over when I was on my phone months back. That was my last ticket. But it wasn't like a parking.

[A]

But did you. Oh, but you're speeding.

[C]

Yeah, no, I was on my phone. We talked about it. Like I looked over to my right and he like took a picture of.

[D]

Me on his phone and you know.

[C]

I think it was maybe his body cam or something. I think he like took it off.

[A]

You know they need evidence now because that does not fly in court anymore. You get away with anything in court if they have no evidence. They don't have a. Like a. Or can't you even bypass those, like those speeding those.

[D]

You can get like a radar that would pick up any sort of signal that way.

[A]

You would. But you could beat those down. Cuz those don't really hold up in court either. You could, you could fight that.

[D]

They. If they capture it and they get you speeding, you're.

[C]

Yeah. You're kind of cooked evidence.

[A]

My favorite are the red light cameras. When you pass. When you pass through a red light and you're like. It's the face you make when it takes a picture of You. That's my favorite. It's like, just the super guilty look.

[C]

But I know, like, you can protest, like, a lot of parking tickets. It's just the time you're willing to spend to protest it.

[A]

I used to do it all the time in Florida, because Florida, everybody. Everybody and their mothers got stopped.

[C]

Yeah, it was brutal.

[A]

I'll go anywhere without getting stopped by. Stopped by a cop. In our city, at least I think it's everywhere. Miami for Lauderdale. Cops everywhere. Dude, you couldn't get away with anything. Dude. A seat belt. They're getting everybody that won't wear seat belts on the road.

[D]

My. My grandma just got pulled over, like, a few days ago for speeding, and she was freaking out, and the. The cop came up, was like, you were speeding? And she started, like, panicking, and she was like, I've never gotten a ticket in my life.

[C]

Oh, boy.

[A]

And how old is she?

[C]

80.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Two. 80.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

82 years.

[D]

First ticket, never gotten a ticket. And the guy felt really bad and didn't want to give it to her at that age, so he was like.

[A]

Oh, it's all right.

[C]

And he didn't.

[A]

That's good. Good for it.

[D]

Slow down a bit.

[A]

Nice. That's nice.

[D]

But imagine going your whole life never having a ticket.

[A]

That's nice. I wish.

[C]

That's nice.

[A]

Can you get that, like, expunged?

[C]

What?

[A]

Like speeding tickets?

[D]

If you beat the. If you need to beat the case, I guess. Like, if you, like, challenge it and.

[C]

Try to got a few dollars, I could fight the case.

[D]

I would be so mad if I went my whole life and then at, like, 80 something years old, I got to take it.

[A]

I'd be like, if you're arrested for something, what would it be for?

[C]

Oh, gosh. Wait, like, driving, crime or what? Anything.

[A]

Like, what's something where you're like, that's something I would definitely, like, be in jail for. But you're also, like, kind of put.

[C]

Yourself out there in jail, too.

[A]

I guess I'm like, a different way.

[C]

Like, arrested. Mm. I don't know.

[D]

My biggest fear is getting, like, arrested for not something that's necessarily not my fault, but where you can get in trouble for the actions of somebody else that can come back to you, if that makes sense.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm worried, like, I would be at a bar and, like, something accelerated. Like, I wasn't involved really in a fight, but maybe I, like, yelled something out.

[A]

And you have friends that love fighting?

[C]

Yeah. Oh, that's the worst. Having friends. Friends that get into fights. I feel like I have now zero friends who get into fights now. In my 30s, I'm like, I'm not rolling with anybody.

[A]

We had a few friends back in the day. It's just like, every time you go out, it's like, you know, there's a chance that you're going to be involved in a little bit of fight because. Yeah, every time the person drinks, one fight starts.

[D]

One of my biggest fears would be, like, if, you know, I was out somewhere, somebody tried starting something, and they started, like, pushing me, and then, like, I just, like, kind of, like, pushed back to be like, stop. And then they, like, trip on their shoelace fall, crack their head open, then they die.

[C]

Oh. And then I'm like, oh, that can happen.

[D]

And then that's.

[A]

Dude, that's murder.

[D]

You're done.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's crazy that people don't even think about that when they start fights like that. Like the bartender and Jameson. Jameson's.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So sad.

[C]

Yeah. The bartender of the owners of it, like, just went out to deal with a drunk guy starting fights, and he gets pushed down by the drunk guy. Dies like crazy.

[D]

Insane.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, that. That happens. So you got to be very careful.

[A]

When you show each other a little bit more compassion when we're drunk.

[C]

I've always, like, been worried about getting banned from somewhere. Like, you can never go to Disneyland ever again or something like that. Oh, it happens. People get. We're, like, on Disneyland.

[A]

No, it. It. It's crazy that, like. And. But how strict are those. Like, do you think those bands are?

[C]

They're pretty strict. I know for, like, a handful of people that have been banned, maybe YouTubers who go in there and pull certain stunts and they try to go back under a disguise, they'll come and hunt you down at the park and maybe even slap. Yeah. Jail charge on you for, like, you violated the ban.

[A]

The one that really drives me, like, it's like, how the hell do. Are they able to keep up with this? Is when you get banned from, like, a certain Vegas hotel.

[C]

Oh, yes.

[D]

They got camera face recognition or face recognition.

[A]

The moment you walk into the hotel, it just immediately captures your. Like, that's CIA.

[C]

We have a. We have a family friend of ours. Not my family's friend, but another family up at the lake that we're close with who, like, counts cards professionally. Like, that's his job. And he was coming to visit us at the lake because he was. Wanted to hit up the casinos to go, you know, get a run on them. And he went to one and then was asked you need to stop playing and you need to leave because it's not illegal to count.

[D]

That's gotta be the best feeling, though.

[C]

It's just like, you get banned. And then he was going to other casinos wearing, like, disguises, but still was getting spot. Like, through the.

[A]

Through the.

[C]

Through the security cameras and everything.

[A]

Like, prosthetics or.

[C]

Yes, yes. He's, like, having fake noses, mustaches, all of it. Dude. Yeah.

[A]

I don't understand.

[C]

You do it very, very well. Like, I o. Like, you're saying the recognitions. Here's the thing.

[A]

Or somebody spots them, that they're wearing a prosthetic.

[C]

Also. These are, like, casinos that are out, like, in Southern Michigan. So it's not like Vegas where you're dealing with intense foot traffic. So a guy can, like, if you're in charge of security cameras in, like, a casino out in Kalamazoo, I think you can kind of, like, go through, keep an eye on the people who are playing, get a good look at them, and you can tell that's a fake nose kind of shit. Yeah. So I think it kind of happens like that more than the facial recognition. But, like, what a good.

[A]

Caught somebody walking around Vegas hotels just, like, literally just eyeing people playing at the.

[D]

But that's why when you get, like, a big hit, the pit boss will come walking over and just starts, like, looking around.

[C]

Yeah. In our card counters, are they wanting to continue to win every round? Like, don't you got to lose a couple? But does that up. But does that up your count at all just to make it seem like you are losing?

[A]

If they're good enough, they would probably, like.

[C]

Like, I'd go up a thousand, then lose like, 200, go back up a thousand, Just be like, oh, crazy night. I'm back. I'm back.

[A]

Well, I mean, how common are their card counters is for decks, like the ones they have in these hotels, you.

[D]

Have to do it with, like, a single deck.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

A lot of them now are, like, the six deck with the shuffler thing. And it's.

[C]

I bet single deck casinos are actively looking for them. Yeah, that too. And don't you need a spotter, though, too? Who knows what the count is by the time you sit down? I mean, that's how it is. Movie 21. Yeah. Yeah. Or yeah. Too sweet. Too sweet. And, like, sweet means, like, count is 16. Like, that's so funny.

[D]

I just saw this video. It happened a long time ago, but I'd never heard about it. This guy was doing who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Oh, I Saw this and he was up there. Used his, like two lifelines, like, early on. And then every question he would say one. Oh, I think it's. I think it's green.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

And wouldn't hear anything. And then he would say the next. Or maybe it's blue. And then his. He had two people in the audience that were there, like, to watch him that would cough yes. Whenever it was the right answer. And he would just like, say the word. And then when he would get the coffee, be like, you know what? I think it's that one.

[A]

Get it right.

[D]

Won the million dollars, Went all the way through. Did it for every question. 1. And then they did like an internal review of everything and realized something was like fishy about it and then called him up, was like, hey, like, you're not getting the winnings now. It's like a full on, like, lawsuit type case thing. And got completely busted.

[C]

It wasn't that, like, much later in like, it was like 2010s.

[D]

I think it was also the European version.

[C]

Okay. I'm surprised no one pulled that move way earlier when who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

[D]

But also, like, if your person in the audience is that bright and is giving you all the baby, you go on the show.

[C]

Good point. I wonder if they had something in their ear and they were transmitting it to another friend who's doing the googling. And then they're telling them what the answer is and then they're coughing.

[A]

I was in the audience and somebody was coughing in really moments, like, moments like that where they're about to answer a question, I'd be eyeing them the entire time. That to me, is so weird.

[D]

And it was a lot. It wasn't just like a.

[C]

It was like.

[A]

And you can't do. You can't do any movements because of the cameras. Right. Like, doing any, like, movement like that is I. Is super more sus. Than. Yeah.

[C]

Whoa.

[A]

Yeah. I think it's that one getting up to have to use the bathroom. That's a good one. So you're two. The two people that you have in the audience, they can help you with maybe a total of two to four questions. So it's not weird. I think having an extra two to four lifeline. Two to four question life.

[D]

A little bit of an advantage. Not every question.

[A]

Yeah. But like, yeah, they should. Like these people that are doing. You gotta like, make it. Make it realistic. Give maybe an extra two. So it's not like if you were.

[C]

On who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Who would you call for your Lifeline. And do you have to have those, like, in your back pocket, too?

[A]

I'd call you.

[C]

Me. Oh, boys.

[A]

I don't know who else I'd call.

[C]

Or maybe pop culture stuff. I don't know. I would have at least one friend who's, like, good with biology. I'd have a friend who's a doctor, somebody's a lawyer, someone who's, like, a pop culture nut. Because I bet you give them.

[D]

Yeah. When you sign up for the next hour, I might call you.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Well, don't you. Don't you get one person? It's not like you get to pick whatever subject that each friend is good at. I think you get one.

[C]

Like, damn, it's only one. Probably.

[A]

Yeah. I don't get, like, a list. You just get to choose.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

So you pick a friend that you think that. Oh, he's. You know, he's on.

[D]

When I was younger, I was always like, how are they always at the phone?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Every time I call somebody, nobody picks up.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I always thought it was random. I was like, oh, that's.

[C]

They pick up the phone. Like, what's up?

[A]

Hey.

[C]

Hey. They're taking a piss. Just like, hold on, dude, just wrap.

[A]

You seen the chick I scored last night? Just.

[C]

My favorite one, though, was when the guy was on the Million Dollar Question. He's like, I'm gonna use my lifeline. They're like, who do you want to call? And they go, my dad. And the dad picks up, and he's like, hey, dad, listen, I'm on who Wants to Be a Millionaire? I'm calling you. You're my lifeline. The dad's like, oh, my gosh. What? And he goes, nothing, Dad, I just want to let you know I'm about to win a million dollars.

[D]

Because he knew the answer.

[C]

The answer. Like, that was just such a. Like, a sweet moment to do that.

[A]

He got it wrong. I'm about to win the million dollars, dad.

[C]

Oh, God.

[D]

What was it?

[B]

You.

[D]

If you go to the next stage, you lose it all, right? Like, if you got to 500, you.

[C]

Could be like, walk away.

[A]

You walk away or you lose it all. Yeah. You see, like, those little moments right there, like, the white.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I think those were when you stop.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

There's captain tiers of it that you keep going. Wow.

[A]

But, dude, they make it hard, man. Because, like, the Next winning is 250k. But then they'll be like, you could walk home with 60K. And you're like, like, make it better. Just like, what about like, let's do 150?

[D]

Why didn't Ken ever go on who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

[C]

I bet once you're committed to like, a huge run on one game show, you can't go on another, like, quiz game show. And I bet he made way more money on a Jeopardy. Than he would have ever won on who Wants to Be a Millionaire.

[D]

Can we look up what's his last name?

[C]

Ken Jennings.

[D]

Ken Jennings. That's right. Ken Jennings. Total Jeopardy earnings.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you.

[D]

He ran that shit for so long.

[C]

All the way.

[A]

Think you can vet 3 million? You can vet people where you don't want anybody like, too smart on the show.

[C]

I.

[D]

The producers, like, this guy's going to take a million. We don't have the budget for it.

[C]

No.

[A]

Because it's also not like that fun if every person on there is winning them, you know that they're just.

[C]

If it makes good tv. I think a lot of people when he was at his high, were tuning into Jeopardy because they wanted to see him.

[D]

My parents were hooked when he was on.

[C]

And I'm not sure if when he started losing was. Were they trying to manipulate the game to like, like, get him off or they try to get someone on there who could really just stump him.

[A]

Ken Jennings is. He's not like a host. He's just a guy.

[D]

He's the host now. Oh, but he won for he 74 in a row. He was unbeatable and they let him back on.

[A]

Oh, because people loved him.

[C]

Yeah. He knows the show like the back of his hand, which makes him like a perfect host because it's just.

[A]

You know what? I bet you they're like, hey, we're not going to pay you the full winning, but we'll pay you per episode. Like, we'll give you. We'll give you like half of it or something to be like, hey, it's like a salary every year you can play. But like, he's.

[C]

He's such a class act. I got to go to the taping of Master's Jeopardy. And in the, in between, like commercial breaks or maybe sometimes there's like an error that happens and they got to reset everything. He'll come out and just open himself up to questions from the audience.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I asked him, if you were asked the same questions that you got right on the show today, could you still get them right? And he was like, that's a great question. Sometimes I have old games on where.

[D]

He would, like, forget what the answer is.

[C]

There's A game. There's a question that will be on and I'll be like, damn, I don't know who that. Who's gonna get this? And it's me. Like, that's what he said.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Getting it. So he goes, yeah, there's definitely questions out there. I was at a high and I could get back then, but not now.

[D]

He's starting to look like the original host.

[A]

That's good.

[C]

Good, man. I bet he's mid-40s, late-40s, and he's.

[A]

Sitting pretty, what, 74 times. Whatever winnings he won every one of those episodes.

[C]

1.4.3.

[D]

And now he's getting paid to be the host.

[C]

Baby.

[D]

What?

[A]

Oh, baby.

[C]

Big family.

[A]

Dad.

[C]

He's a nice guy.

[B]

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[A]

What are you guys doing for Thanksgiving?

[C]

Alabama? Birmingham.

[A]

You do that over here, right?

[C]

No, usually I go to the lake, but my family's going on a cruise or my parents are. They're going to Italy.

[A]

An Italian cruise. Oh, that must be nice. What cruise line is it?

[C]

I have? No, it's not one of the big ones. It's one of those, like, cool, hip, smaller ones.

[D]

That's what I want to do. If I was to do a cruise next, I would do a smaller line. What do you mean?

[A]

Like, what do you mean, a hip one? So is it a cruise or like a big.

[C]

I would say more of like an indie cruise. It's not like you're like Carnival. Yeah, I know.

[A]

The thing is, I didn't even know there was cruises that weren't those cruises. They've got, like, ones that were smaller than that.

[D]

They've got, like, ultra luxury smaller ones.

[A]

I know the ultra luxury ones that are like the Royal Caribbean. No, like.

[C]

Or like the one in Triangle of Sadness. Like, that one is like, oh, that.

[A]

To me, that's just a big yacht that, like, basically. Oh, that's what I don't think my.

[C]

Parents are going to think is super, super nice.

[D]

Doesn't Four Seasons have their own cruise line?

[C]

They sure do.

[A]

How much Would that be what, like half a million to do the whole.

[D]

If you're doing one of those, like six monon ones.

[C]

Boy, that's too long.

[A]

Alex Earl did one of those. She did like one of those. It was like the Royal Caribbean one but like, nice. And you know she got that for free. Cuz I saw the tags everywhere else.

[D]

Damn.

[C]

What are you doing? Your birthday's coming up. Or wait, did already happen.

[A]

My birthday's coming up next week. But today, Today's my birthday day.

[C]

Oh yeah.

[A]

Today is the. Today right now, as you guys are listening, is my birthday.

[D]

Oh.

[C]

Happy birthday, Zayn.

[A]

Thank you.

[D]

Happy birthday.

[C]

What are you going to do for your birthday?

[A]

I don't know. I like, don't.

[C]

You don't want to like, do anything you ever. You can go treat yourself and do something you want to do.

[A]

Exactly. I. I'm going the things. I'm going to Vegas. F1.

[C]

Oh, sick.

[A]

I. He's not going. He's not going. I just talked him like he's going.

[D]

Me to rub it in my face.

[A]

I'm going to F1 for like from like the 20th to like the 22nd something. And I guess that'll be my birthday weekend.

[D]

Right? That's just like.

[A]

Like, I'll do this. So that's why in my head I'm like, I don't. I don't need to do anything on my birthday.

[D]

You got something.

[A]

Honestly, I'll probably. I'll probably be with you guys watching this.

[C]

There you go.

[A]

On my birthday, looking at the comments.

[C]

And how old are you turning?

[A]

34.

[C]

No, you're not.

[D]

Oh, you're not.

[C]

I'm older than you and I'm 33.

[A]

I'm turning 34. Zane really turning 33. I don't believe you guys say you're turning 33. You're turning 33. Yes, because I'm not everybody 34.

[B]

Great.

[C]

Well, okay. You got yourself a little extra. Wow.

[A]

Oh, my God. Dude, I've been telling everybody I'm 33.

[C]

Holy.

[D]

We just had to pull up famous birthdays.

[A]

You do. You do forget, though. That's why, like, people in their 40s and 50s, they're not remembering that anymore. I get that.

[D]

It's tough.

[A]

Oh, boy. I'm 32.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

Oh, I feel like. I kind of feel like a kid now. That's nice.

[D]

It's not so bad.

[C]

Are you asking for anything for your birthday? Like, what is Hadiah gonna get you? What's your mom gonna get you?

[A]

Here's the thing. I've never. I'VE never asked, Like, I've never really asked for gifts ever. Even before. Never asked for gifts. The only gift I've ever wanted ever is usually like a phone. Like a new phone.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Like, if my phone's broken, I'm like, oh, I really just want a new phone either for my birthday or Christmas. That's it. Everything else is like. Like my. My mom will be so frustrated where, like, I won't tell her what I want for her birthday. So she'll end up giving me, like, the new phone because she's just like, expected, like, new. And then like, socks. Socks, underwear, new gym shorts.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

A big thing of candy. Like, she'll fill up the stocking with candy. That would usually be my. Like, my main gift is usually a new phone.

[C]

There you go.

[A]

And I've always loved that. That sounds exactly like my Christmas or birthday. Just socks. Like one kind of big gift and then just socks and underwear. But I do love those gifts because I never go out and buy myself gym shorts or buy myself underwear or sock. Like, I don't think to buy that. So it's really nice that my mom's just like, like, here you go. You probably need it. Like, Yes, I do. Thank you for getting me that 80 pack black and white socks. This is great.

[D]

Yeah. Socks, underwears, vitamins. I get. I get a whole bottle like biotin.

[C]

Yeah, that's good. I wish there was just like a date printed on socks and underwear so you can really know how long, like an expiration date or just a manufacturer date to know how long have I owned this piece of under? Because you just don't know. And sometimes you need like a new pair.

[A]

Yeah. But I feel like you could kind of tell when you're wearing underwear.

[C]

You're like, like, yeah, it's.

[A]

I could sure use a new pair.

[D]

Of the material starts getting those little balls.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

It starts, like coagulating with your hairs. Like, that's when you know. It's like, it is time.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And then.

[A]

But like, there's times. I don't know how. I don't know why. There's constantly. There'll be holes in my. But it's embarrassing because when you see holes in under, that means, oh, that shit's old. But like, my new underwear I'll wear for like two months and then there's a hole in it. I'm like, like, am I. Am I expanding in these? Like, am I. What's going on? You know what I think it is? I think, I think the manufacturers are getting cheaper because My. The tradition in my house is we call it fundies. Like, my mom goes and gets like a unique pack of underwear and that's kind of like the fun.

[C]

Whatever.

[A]

But the. The pack that she got me for Christmas last year is already like. The band is tearing at the seams.

[D]

That's what goes first for me. I don't. I don't get like holes or anything. The band just lose like, elasticity and kind of just like that's what. That's what fails first.

[C]

I'll do it.

[A]

I don't. You know, I don't even think I get the ones of the bands that my box. I guess I get. I. I like it loose because it's. You see. You see every. Remember in the. The other. Other sets where like, you always see me, like, pull in my. It's because I hate tight.

[C]

I need.

[A]

I need it like, loose. You know those, like, boxers used to wear in middle school where they're like huge and plaid?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Like.

[A]

Like they went over your pants because they're so goddamn.

[C]

Like they're sturdier at the waist too. Like.

[A]

Yeah, I. I still like to wear that type of. Every time I like, I'll look at Calvin Klein underwear, I'm like, oh, yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

I feel good. And then halfway through the day I'm like. And they're really good underwear. They're just. It's just like real tight for me. I just need like breathing room.

[D]

I feel the exact opposite.

[A]

I don't know how people wear those.

[D]

Traditional, like, plaid boxers because I Neither. I hate sticking to myself.

[A]

Well, no, no, not the. Not the traditional talking about just like the loose, but just the loose. The boxers. Because I. It always gets bunched up in my pants.

[C]

I'll wear those with my pajamas.

[D]

That makes sense.

[C]

Like if I got my little pajama set the worst. And then I'll have my boxers on when that.

[D]

When that waistband flips upside down on itself.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Gosh, that.

[D]

Sometimes, dude, that drives me. Like right now it's.

[C]

I know. It makes me feel like a little big.

[A]

It's a nautical. It's a nautical.

[D]

I hate it.

[B]

It.

[D]

I hate that feeling. And then you.

[A]

We should roll the intro, though.

[C]

Oh, yeah, let's do it.

[A]

Yeah. Cuz it's been a minute.

[B]

It's com.

[A]

Baby, let's go. Welcome back to Zany Heath Unfiltered. I'm Zayn.

[D]

I'm Heath.

[C]

I'm Matt.

[A]

And welcome back to another Zany Heath Unfiltered episode, Code. Thank you for being here and thank you. And it's my birthday, so everybody be nice. Everybody laugh at all my jokes.

[D]

Everybody gas him up in the comments.

[A]

Gas me up in the comments. Say happy birthday. Say I look good in this tight black shirt. Say I look good in these jeans. Say I look skinny. And say my muscles are bigger than usual. You know what? I was noticing that earlier today I was like Zayn's. Zayn's got like dad arms now. But like in a good way.

[D]

Dad.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Good, Jared. That was really nice.

[C]

That was good.

[A]

That was good. It makes me feel.

[D]

Since it is your birthday episode, we got a little surprise for you and I feel like we should probably. We should probably do a little. A little present first before we start the episode.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Is that okay?

[A]

Yeah, absolutely.

[D]

Can you help me?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Quick.

[A]

Am I just staying here?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. All right.

[C]

The box is set. Okay.

[D]

Zane, are you ready for your present?

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Okay. You can remove your blindfold.

[A]

Oh, boy.

[D]

It might be a little bit intimidating. It's kind of a big gift.

[C]

Yeah. We're surprised we were able to get it.

[D]

Do you want to open it or you want to try to guess?

[A]

It's. Why is it so big? Is it. Is it a person? Is somebody in there?

[C]

Yes, there is a heartbeat. Maybe.

[D]

Maybe not though, because.

[C]

Yes, but it could be a broken heart. It's a blast from the past. An emotional time capsule.

[A]

Guys.

[D]

It's definitely something you will recognize, but I don't know if you have the fondest memories.

[A]

No, no, no, Wait. We've talked about this.

[D]

You haven't.

[A]

Are you. Are you pranking me back from the Justin Bieber? This is nowhere near.

[C]

I'm surprised.

[A]

The Justin Bieber prank bit.

[C]

I'm surprised this person said yes. Hopefully you'll be happy with their presence as a presence.

[A]

Oh, my God. I didn't take medication for this.

[D]

Good.

[A]

It's my birthday.

[C]

Oh, I don't know. I'm having doubts, Heath.

[A]

Oh, my God. Ok.

[D]

I think it's going to be a roller coaster of an episode.

[C]

Yeah. You guys might not have left on the best note with one another. Who knows? You may have this person blocked. Oh, true. Oh.

[D]

Would you like to open your present?

[A]

Well, it's a human, so I think just come on out. Oh, my God.

[B]

Surprise.

[C]

Leah.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[D]

I hope you get out.

[C]

Yeah, that is funny.

[A]

Leah. I haven't seen you in forever. No, when. When they said X, I thought it was my.

[C]

Hey, Leah. Good to see you. Welcome back.

[A]

That scared the out of me. I was like, yo, Heath, what are we Doing Okay.

[D]

Here we go.

[A]

All right, let's roll the intro again.

[C]

Run it back again.

[A]

It's a new show. Welcome back to Zany Heath Unfiltered. I'm Zayn.

[D]

I'm Heath.

[C]

I'm Matt.

[A]

And today we have a very, very special surprise guest for my birthday. My exorcist is Leah.

[B]

Exorcist. So harsh.

[C]

Former.

[A]

Well, what are you?

[D]

What are you?

[A]

Oh, former.

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

But we're, like, still friends.

[A]

No, we are friends, but it's just to the people. Yeah, you are my ex assistant. Yeah, we're friends, but like, to the people. You're my ex assistant.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Ex assistants. Back to friends.

[C]

Yeah, there you go.

[A]

That quit on me.

[B]

I did quit on it.

[A]

Let's get to. Let's. Let's get in it. You quit on me.

[B]

I was gonna start with that too, just because I was like one. I miss you.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

All right.

[B]

I actually came here to get my job back.

[A]

Usually miss you.

[B]

After I actually, after I left you, I realized what a great, amazing boss you were.

[D]

And she's really fighting for that job.

[C]

Grass is always green.

[A]

She's actually here to give in her resume again.

[B]

I actually. I brought it. It's in my purse. I got a little more experience and I'm coming back.

[A]

We could do another video right now.

[D]

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[A]

But how have you been?

[B]

I've been great. I was like, my life has been insane.

[D]

So much better since I've left.

[B]

How long?

[C]

How long has it been?

[A]

It's. I think last time I saw Leah was in person.

[B]

I would say whenever I quit.

[C]

Last week.

[A]

No, I saw you at some birthday party. It was probably Patricia's birthday party.

[C]

Okay. So.

[B]

Oh, is Zane. Acted like you didn't know me. No, no. Yeah.

[A]

No, no. What do you mean? Oh, well, I was sober. You know how I am sober at parties.

[B]

I was like, you know, I don't.

[D]

Want to talk to you when I'm sober.

[B]

Like, okay, you really hate me.

[A]

No, no, it's because you were. You were really drunk. I remember you were.

[B]

That's a good thing.

[C]

You were.

[A]

You were there. And I just got there. I was sober. I didn't even know if I was going to drink that night. And normally nights like that, I'm just like. I'm just going to say, hi. I'm gonna say, happy birthday, Patricia. And then I'm probably gonna go home because I'm like, wasn't in the mood.

[B]

Fair.

[A]

That's. You probably caught me at a wrong, wrong moment.

[B]

But it was open bars, so I took advantage. Cause I think it was t. So I'm gonna get all the drinks in. That whole tab was actually me.

[C]

Yeah. No, and it went away in, like 30 minutes. They were like, you need to put more in.

[B]

They're like, someone named Leah. Bars has taken the whole tab.

[A]

You know that every time I see you is a great time. You know what I mean? Every time I see. Every time I see you, like, every time I see, I'm like, oh, you know what? I do miss seeing her every day at the house.

[C]

I know.

[B]

Because beyond it all, it was like, we were such good friends. But I did feel like it came to a point where you had gotten, like, a social media manager who had kind of taken over everything. And to be so fair, like, this is like a perfect sounding job, but you were paying me so much money to do almost nothing. Like, I was.

[A]

I was pretty much paying you to be my friend.

[B]

Yeah, to be your friend. And I was like, your personal chef. But I was like, come on, you got to be sick of the ground. The ground beef.

[A]

Yeah, there. There was. We weren't going up from where we.

[B]

And I wanted to grow in that space. And I just feel like There wasn't room for me to grow.

[A]

She said, she says, zayn, I was trying to grow and you were holding me back.

[B]

You were actually. You were going up and I was staying, so.

[D]

So you're offering to come back, take the job for a lesser salary? That's what this is?

[A]

Yes. Is that.

[C]

No.

[B]

I'm position right now that I actually love.

[A]

Okay. Okay, good, good.

[B]

But a lot has happened in my life since I've left you. I should start with, actually I directly after I stopped working for you. I remember I told you I had gotten a job.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And I was ready to kind of hit the celebrity realm again. And, like, you're a celebrity, but like.

[A]

In a different way. I'm like, yeah, I'm like a fake.

[B]

It's like I went from working for a celebrity, which took over my entire life. I was a nanny for a celebrity family. And then I went. I wanted to do assisting, so I went up to Zayn's, and then I feel like that was like, got me on the right track to what it was wanted to. What I wanted to actually do. And so, yeah, no, I was so stoked. I got a job with a celebrity, and let me tell you, it was the job from hell. And I feel like quitting for Zayn. It was like, I think I mentioned at that party to Patricia, I was like, wait, Zayn, like, would you take me back?

[A]

That was one of the first things.

[B]

You go, I don't really think I need an assistant right now. I'm like, wait, really? Like, please, I would love to come back. But no, it was actually. It was, was. It was insane.

[A]

Like, it's because I feel like these. Well, I don't. I don't know if you want to even say who you're working with, but.

[B]

I don't have to say who I can work with.

[C]

List. Are they A list, B list, C list?

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I don't know them.

[A]

They're like. It's like a reality TV star.

[C]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

I would say, like, cd.

[C]

Got it.

[B]

Okay. And like, I remember, like, she would just, like, degrade me as a personal assistant daily and be like, leah, I understand that you've never worked for a celebrity at my level. I'm like, I worked for the Kardashians. Like, baby, Like, I.

[C]

Who are you?

[B]

Isn't it two fingers?

[A]

Clock it.

[C]

Yeah. Lean back.

[B]

Your age is showing. Okay. How old are you now?

[A]

I just found out that I turned 33 today. You thought it was turning 34?

[B]

No, it's okay. I just turned 31. And it really hurts.

[A]

You're 31.

[C]

You're in your 30s. I thought you were, like, 27.

[B]

You would guess. By the way, I just. I can't grow up. I just can't.

[C]

You look young.

[B]

Well, and, like, this thing that I just got myself into, like, I feel like I'm a kid again, you know?

[C]

Yeah. All right, so wait, so we get this new job with this. This CD list, who's already thinking, she's just high and mighty. How long are you. Had you been working with this person for, like. Or where are we at now? On the time?

[B]

Okay, so it was. I had, I think, a grand total of, like, five months I worked for her. And I'm one of those people who I want to, like. I'm determined to, like, be the best, to, like, try to prove her wrong. Like, you want to tell me I haven't worked for that list? Like, I'm gonna show you. But at the same time, she was kind of one of those people, and I. And I. I give her grace because she was going through a lot at the time, and I feel like I really do love her as an individual. Like, I feel like I'd be friends with her, and I still talk to her this day. Working for her is a whole other story. But you can't help somebody who's not ready to be helped or, like, who won't give you the time to help them. So I just feel like that's kind of where she was at. And so when things didn't get done, she'd be like, well, this didn't get done today. Like, well, you didn't give me 15 minutes to your day to approve something or to get these things done. Yeah, she also just, like, didn't have the right help in her house. She didn't have the right housekeepers, the right everything. So her house was just. It needed help.

[A]

Would she be the type if you tried to do something on your own without her telling you she would, like, judge it?

[B]

Yes. But then if I did it on my own, it was like, why did you do that? You did it all wrong. Now start over.

[C]

Can you give an age range on this person? Are they. Are they millennial or are they, like.

[B]

Yeah, I'd probably say, like, 40s.

[C]

Okay, 40s. All right, all right, all right.

[B]

But, like, the craziest thing is, like, I. I love organizing, as. You know, I did it in your house as much as I could.

[A]

I got. I got the Kardashian closet.

[B]

Yeah. I tried my hardest to, like, bring that to Zane. So I do that. I learned so much from them. Of an organization. So I was like, okay, I'm gonna do this. But she had so much in her closet. She's like a big. I don't know how much I wanted to say, but she just, like, she has a great closet. Multiple closets of, like, designer, right? So I'm like, where do you even begin to do this? So then the fires happen, and she was. She lives right on the line of, like, to evacuate or not. And so I was like, I'm gonna take this up. Because she was like, leah, you need to go in my house. You and this one other assistant that, like, worked in the family.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you guys are gonna completely clear my closet. And I was like, okay. Like, that's a task. And she goes, everything needs to be in a. What are they called?

[D]

A garment bag.

[B]

Yeah, and a dust bag.

[A]

But leave it. But, like, leave it in the house, obviously.

[B]

No, hold on.

[A]

Wine cooler.

[B]

It's actually vodka. Vodka on ice. So, yeah, she was like, everything needs to be in a dust bag. Everything needs to be in, like, a garment bag. Jackets, shoes, everything. Keep in mind, this woman probably has over, like, 200 designer bags. That's 200 dust bags. And putting these things in, right. And to care for them carefully, not putting them all in boxes, to, like, individually put them. And she wanted me to put it into a U Haul. And then we're gonna park the U haul at a friend's house.

[A]

Wait, why so person. Why do these purses have to be so, like.

[B]

Because if they bend, scratch, whatever, it lessens their value. Ruin them.

[A]

I thought people. I. People love vintage Birkins. Like, if it's, like, has, like, you.

[D]

Know, not if it's got smoke in it and just, like, dirty and crushed.

[B]

And I'm not. I'm not a designer, so I don't really know the ins and outs of, like, having nice things because I ruin everything. So I took her bag one day, and I was. She was like, can you put it up on the top? And I was like, yeah, yeah. So I was doing something. So I put on the ground.

[A]

She goes.

[B]

I was like, what? And she was like, did you just put my bag on the ground? I was like, oh, just a purse.

[A]

Just on the ground in her closet?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm like, dude, you have housekeepers every day or clean this ground. It was, like, the biggest deal. And so I've learned. So now I was, like, placing things.

[A]

Everywhere, trying to hide her identity. But, like, is she, like. Was she from here? Like, is she from, like, a different. Like, where?

[B]

No, she's from here.

[C]

Self made.

[B]

Self made?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's so crazy that it's so interesting that there's, like, people out there like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So fires are happening. She's telling you, I want all my clothes and garment bags.

[B]

We have a day to do this art, this. So other assistant kind of in charge of the heavy things. Art, all that kind of stuff. And then I was in charge of the clothes. So anyway, I did the unthinkable and got majority of, like, the nicest things into this U Haul.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Next day, the thing lifts, she goes, put it all back. You guys don't understand. I clear the clock, like, it is empty, and I. I'll show you guys pictures, but it is insane how much stuff was, like, I have undone. So to think about bringing it back. Right. And half the bags we put somewhere at a friend's house. So in my mind, if I'm gonna set up, because I was like, honestly, I'll take this as a. Like, a silver lion.

[A]

She didn't get the memo of essentials only, I'm guessing, when those are, her.

[B]

Birkin is an essential.

[A]

Her whole closet is not an essential, though.

[D]

I mean, at those prices.

[B]

Yeah, like, it was a majority of it. Like, some of the stuff, like, we definitely left behind, but yeah, the B shoes.

[C]

Every time.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. And at one point, her handyman was like, this, and just took all the shoes and, like, dragged them into boxes. So I was like, oh, I didn't do this. So I was hoping she didn't see that. Right. But anyway, so next day, she was like, I need you to come to my hotel. She was staying at a hotel with her kids, and she was like, I need you to come to my hotel, pack up my bags, go to my house, undo the U Haul, and set up the closet all over again. All over again. So I was like, silver lining. I'm gonna have the chance to organize her closet in the. The way and the way I would do it. So I was like, I got this. I'm gonna impress the out of her. Like, this is my moment to shine.

[A]

Yeah. So make it look better than.

[D]

What are you, like, before color coordinating? Is that.

[B]

Oh, yeah, color coordinating. Like, the, like, working for Courtney. She literally taught me, like, the color coordinating. So I was like, oh, I cannot wait. Because what she had what? Some, like, person came in and did her closet. It looked horrible.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I was like, I'm ready. And anyway, me and her housekeeper are undoing every garment Bag every dust bag, laying it out on a table, making sure nothing's on the ground. And keep in mind the. The handyman had taken all the shoes, heels, sandals, everything, dragged it into a box. So now we're having to put all the shoes out, find the matches, blah, blah, blah. She was on set that day. So she's like, by the time I get home, this closet better be done. And I was like, so I get to the hotel by like maybe 10 or 11 because she's not packed. So I had to pack all of her back. Her bags. Pack her bags. And then my. My thought process was, I'm gonna go pick up her Birkins from her friend's house, because why would I organize a closet with missing pieces?

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

So then she goes, I, you can never follow directions. I can't understand why you went to go pick them up. Blah, blah. I'm like, because in my head, that makes the most sense. You have so much I need to figure out where I need to put everything. So whatever. Anyway. Got yelled at for that already. We're off to a horrible start. Like, it was just this.

[A]

Oh, this was like the. The first, like the first time you were working with this person.

[B]

It was like within the first, like, couple weeks.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I had already been like, you're doing.

[A]

This type of shit. Like, sounds like you've been working there for maybe a year. And like, oh, it's like, this better be done. It's like, okay, she must feel. Feel comfortable talking.

[B]

Oh, no, she felt comfortable day one. But we had a really weird connection. Like, we got along so well. And I remember that first week, she was like, we're going to build an empire together. And I was like, yes, we are. And that shit went south. Yeah, we're building.

[A]

That was mean. He's brand that we built.

[B]

Yeah. No, truly. So anyway, I. I did the unthinkable, right? I did majority. I did. I filled up her entire first closet. And she get. And sure, there's boxes. And I'm like, still working at the time she gets home. And she looks at. Looks amazing by the way she looks at it. And she goes, you can go home. I go, like, what? I was like, I was so excited to show you. Yeah. I go, that's exactly. I feel like I was in the devil voice Prada. I was like, I look. I put all your wallets here. Your. Your shoes are here. Like, explain it all. She goes, leah, you just like, where. You just don't know how to follow directions, do you? And I'm like, Did I do wrong? I was like, okay.

[A]

Over the directions.

[B]

I didn't. The first thing I should have done, apparently, was unpack her because I didn't unpack her suitcase yet. I just kind of ignored that because it was all clothes and I didn't unpack her toiletry bag so that when she got home. Home. She had to dig through a toiletry bag to find her toothbrush and stuff.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

So the closet, she couldn't brush her teeth. She couldn't unzip something. So that was just sitting on her counter.

[C]

Yeah, she was. Already had her own ditty bag at the hotel.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. Oh, what's a ditty bag?

[A]

It's like a toilet.

[C]

Toiletry bag.

[B]

Like P. Diddy bag.

[C]

Yeah. I don't know.

[B]

I never heard of that.

[A]

What did he say?

[C]

I call them dog kids. But like, like, I don't know.

[A]

I. I call it. It's so lame. A toiletry bag. I don't know how to say it, but I say toiletry. Toiletry bag.

[B]

Yeah. So then I was like, look, were.

[A]

You getting paid better than me?

[B]

Barely.

[A]

Barely. So more.

[B]

I was getting more. A fair more.

[A]

Whatever. Okay.

[B]

But not far off.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

Yeah, but it was for a bigger job. Like, it was like I had more stuff to do, so, like, I should have been paid more.

[A]

Yeah, you're about to build an empire with her. So, like.

[C]

And when she says, go home. Wait, is this the end gig or just go, you're done for the day.

[D]

She couldn't look at you anymore.

[B]

Or like 10pm? I'd been there all day. Yeah, and doing this. And she was like, go home. See you tomorrow.

[C]

I was like, okay, I don't remember.

[A]

Last time I had you at my house till 10pm at night. Yeah, that's crazy.

[B]

No, I probably willingly would have done it.

[A]

And what time would you even get there?

[B]

It kind of depended on the day and what she had going on. But like, if she had a meeting in the morning, I'd make sure I was there. So, like 8:00am but like, yeah, something to six, basically.

[A]

Got it, got it, got it.

[D]

Okay, before we continue, we want to give a big thank you to our next sponsor of this podcast, podcast, Seatgeek.

[A]

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[B]

Yeah, that was crazy. But then I was like so determined still. I was like, I was miserable, but I was like, I have to like, I don't know, just I couldn't quit. But then it came to a point where I was like, I am so unhappy here that I know that anyone would be lucky to have me as assistant, so I'm not staying. So I kept asking her to talk, but she would never give me the time. To the point where it was her son's birthday and I didn't wrap the present presents for him. And she had a full blown freakout, called me upstairs like I had to have her housekeepers wrap the presents. Like she was shocked that I showed up without them being wrapped when I could have just wrapped them at the house.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But anyway, she was like, I can't believe you were texting me, asking me this stuff, blah, blah, like that's so crazy that I even have to tell you these things. Whatever. And so anyway, she goes, leah, this just isn't working out. And I was like, thank God you said that because I've been trying to quit for the last week. She's like, oh, really? Why? And I was like, because.

[C]

Oh, you're saying this.

[B]

Oh, yeah. So we just start going at each other. I was like, as a next, as your next assistant, you should probably work on this. And she's like, as an assistant, you should work on this. And she starts listing things and I'm sensitive as fuck. It's as hard as I can Try to come at you. I start crying. She's hurting my feelings. I'm like, oh my God. So I took my wheelie chair in her desk and I just turn around and I was like, okay, if you're gonna keep yelling at me, then I'm just gonna sit here. Like, just stop. Like, this is fucking rude. And so she's like, leah, come here, give me a hug. I could see you in my life forever. Maybe this is like right person, wrong time kind of thing. Like, maybe you need to go somewhere and like learn more.

[A]

And I'm like, so it's a very hot and cold. It seems like this.

[B]

Yeah, but it's like, it's crazy because I really do love her. Like, I still text her, but like I would never work for her again.

[D]

Right.

[B]

It was just. Some people just don't mesh.

[C]

How long was the previous assistant or did she have.

[B]

Everybody had been there for, for like months, Months, Months. And it's always, we don't talk about that name in this house. They were the worst assistant.

[C]

Well, she's the common denominator.

[B]

Well, that's what I try to kind of say to her in the nicest way. I'm like, hey, maybe it's like the communication.

[C]

I don't know, it's you.

[A]

Do people like that ever do find a long term assistant that handled, that deals with that type of behavior and.

[B]

I don't know what she needs and I almost feel like she, I, I don't know.

[A]

Or is it normal?

[B]

Like I'm pretty easy going and maybe that's the problem. I need to be more high strung for her or like more insertive. I don't know.

[C]

Did you have communication at all with the previous assistant?

[B]

No, we don't say her name in the house.

[D]

That would be a good event.

[C]

Or it's like, I always feel like when you're onboarding somebody new, at least getting to talk to the previous one to be like, what should I really be aware of to. So you're not just walking on eggshells.

[B]

This is the craziest part. I forgot about this. This is what fucking started pissing me off. So I clean her desk every day. I started seeing assistant resumes. And so you know what I, I did? I made a folder of it and I labeled it assistance Assistant resumes. I said, by the way, all those assistant resumes, I put them in the first thing and she goes, oh, thank you, honey.

[D]

That's crazy.

[B]

I was like, awesome. That's just rude.

[A]

So when she, when she goes like, thank you, honey.

[B]

Is.

[A]

Is she also being, like, passive aggressive? Like, being.

[B]

I can never tell. I could never tell what was like.

[C]

Anyone who says honey a lot. Oh, it's like a red.

[B]

It was always honey. Oh, honey.

[C]

Don't honey me.

[B]

Oh. Oh, sweetie. I was like, like, yeah.

[D]

It's so condescending.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Would she go through a lot of. A lot of employees? Because I'm guessing she doesn't only have an assistant. She probably has, like a chef. Housekeeper.

[B]

Yeah. But then it's like, sometimes when you have people that have been there for a long time, I take that as like a. Like a. Like a. It's a good thing. Like, her nanny had been there since the kids were babies. But also, as a nanny, I know, like, most times you don't always directly have to work with them, which is like a different dynamic. Like, also, I'm with the kids all the time, so I don't know. It was a. It was an experience for sure. So that was my first time being fired, but I also quit. So I took that, like, yeah, whatever.

[A]

Do you like. Do you like nanning better or do you like. I like the assistant.

[B]

I like being an assistant better. I think I have a really good thing going right now with my new job, but. Which is crazy because in between this job and my new job, I was like, oh, my God. I really just. This is my time. I'm about to turn 31. Like, I need to figure out my. My life. And I get this DM on my tick tock, which I never, ever check my tick tock dms, and how should I say about this?

[A]

You shouldn't. You shouldn't talk too much about it.

[B]

So then, yeah, I received this dm and it's a casting director, and it's something that's, like, right up my alley. And I was like, it sounded like the weirdest idea, by the way. So I was like, I mean, fuck it. I have nothing going in my life. Like, I can't be an assistant forever. Like, one. I'm like, what are. What's the worst case?

[A]

It's time to build an empire by yourself, Right?

[C]

Make a name for yourself.

[B]

I'm gonna build an empire. Yeah. With some, like, myself and my, you know, my world.

[D]

She starts bullying her assistant. She's like, you.

[B]

I'm like, hey, start. Clear my closet and put it back.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Now is this casting opportunity. Are they saying this is for a movie? Is a reality show, game show? What is it?

[B]

I can't say, but it is a TV show.

[C]

Okay, cool.

[B]

But yeah, no. And when I heard the network, I was like, whoa, I'm a star.

[C]

Whoa.

[B]

And I feel like I was born for this. And I've always said, I wish somebody would just, like, hand me a show. And that's pretty much what happened.

[A]

So.

[C]

You got the damn gig, Leah.

[B]

I got it.

[C]

That's so awesome. It, like, followed through and it actually happened because, like, casting DMs, like, with influencer connection stuff you get a lot. And a lot of times just casting directors, they just want to take meetings. To take meetings. They're putting out feelers in rooms and say, because that's their work, but they're never taking you that seriously. That is so cool.

[B]

I told Zayn, though, I said, hey, if this show goes off, I promise I'll be your first.

[C]

I'll be the.

[B]

This will be the first podcast I do. Yeah, I'll spill all the tea.

[C]

There we go.

[A]

That's amazing. But no, I. Again, I can't wait for it to come on. I can't wait for us to be able to just talk about, like, what you did out there.

[B]

And then as soon as I get home, I'm like, okay, back on hands. Because not one person was hot where I was. And, like, I promised my mom I would not have sex on tv, and I didn't.

[C]

Oh, good on you.

[A]

That's good.

[B]

Yeah. So then I get home and I'm like, dude, like, you know, I need some action.

[A]

It just. And it just sucks that you can. You can't talk to anybody about it either. Like, really, you can't.

[C]

Did.

[D]

Did you get home and hit up the serial killer?

[B]

No. You know, I keep getting DMS about, like, an update on that guy. Honestly, he went mia, but also he got a little too crazy.

[C]

Hold on, Serial cereal?

[D]

Yeah. You remember the guy that she was. Oh, the.

[A]

The. The. The bullet.

[C]

The bullet.

[B]

No, the bullet.

[D]

The bullet hole.

[C]

The bullet give. Give the listeners and the viewers just a skinny of that to catch up if they missed it.

[B]

I met a guy out of a bar because he. I like, pointed out him. Told him to come here because he had a dimple, and I love dimples. Come to find out, it was a bullet hole. He was like a full blown criminal. Yeah, he. He had, like, burner phones. He was here, he was there. He was like in the. I think he was in the mafia. He told me he was in the CIA, but he's. Yeah, no, he was not in the CIA.

[A]

I'm surprised he didn't come out there to see you.

[B]

Well, I haven't talked to him since the last time I filmed that podcast because he got a little too criminal on me. Like, I think he was here. He like flew to LA randomly.

[C]

Remember?

[B]

He was like abroad somewhere and wouldn't.

[A]

Tell me where he was.

[B]

And then he was like, let's hang out. But every time I talked to him, he was like muffling, like on the phone. So I was like, he's like fucked up. And I didn't really like that. And so he was staying at this. Like he was staying at a hotel by the airport. I'm like, oh, you are broke. Like, you are criminal. Like, what are you doing here? So I was like, this is.

[A]

He needs to. Just in case he needs to jet out of there.

[B]

Yeah, the thrill was gone. So he got the boot.

[D]

Before we continue, this episode is sponsored by Better Help.

[A]

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[D]

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[D]

Thank you Better Help for sponsoring this podcast.

[B]

We love you, but I went on a date with this guy, and it actually was like, a really. Because I cut off everybody before I left. I was like, I'm not having any ties to anything.

[D]

She knew she was blonde.

[B]

Well. And, like, if I met a guy on the show, like, I wanted it to be, like, I didn't feel guilty for anything.

[C]

Or you're not having to pick up, like, the duck phone and, like, calling back home and being like, yeah, not doing it.

[B]

So cut off everybody. So I come back and I go on the date with this guy. And to be honest, it was, like, the best date I've had in a really, really long time. We had so much fun. And, like, he drove to pick me up, and we got. I got a little drunk at dinner. I was having fun. And we, like, after dinner, we went to the bar, a couple drinks, and then he drops me off, and I could just feel like he was nervous and, like, wasn't gonna kiss me, so I just leaned in and, like, went for it. I was like, you're gonna kiss me.

[A]

Hey, Leah, thank you for that.

[B]

Yeah, you know, it's.

[A]

It. Sometimes it's scary, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's nice to have girls.

[B]

He smacks me.

[A]

Oh, yeah, the guy.

[B]

But you could just tell, like, he didn't know what to do. Like, he was at my. Like, he was just, like, pulled up to my house.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so do you do that?

[A]

Do girls do, like, have tactics, like the dangling the keys by the front door or the.

[B]

Well, he didn't block door. So I was just kind of, like, looking, like, waiting for him to, like, you know, say whatever. And I was just like, all right, I'm gonna go in for it. So we started making out, and then he's like, okay, well, like, I had so much fun tonight. I was like, he's not gonna come in. Like, I know I shouldn't have. Like, I shouldn't do that. But, like, I was just. I was ready.

[A]

You still think the cameras are on you?

[B]

I'm like, yeah. So anyway, I was just, like, texting him after. I was like, thanks for tonight. It was so fun. He's like, yeah. I was like, the kiss was so good. And I was like, well, come make out again. He's like, like right now. And I was like, yeah, yeah. So that kind of set a preface. I kind of want your advice on this. Right. Because now that this whole thing is happening, I feel like I don't really want a relationship. I feel like my life might be changing and, like, I'm not really ready to give myself to somebody, especially if, like, I'm gonna be busy and doing things. Like, you know, the whole new world is opening. I want to be single, but I am 31, so it's like, I, I.

[A]

Think, okay, listen, I'll get.

[D]

If this guy's great, you like him. I think that's a good thing before, you know, all this comes out and then you've got other attention because of success or because of, you know, some sort of clout. Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I think if he's a cool dude, you really like him. I say ride with it until then.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

If things fall apart and then, you know, it fizzles out, then that's okay. Okay. But I wouldn't hold off on a good guy in hopes that, you know, this is gonna bring an opportunity for.

[A]

Something because it will bring, it's gonna bring, like, awesome and a lot of attention, but again, it's gonna bring in a lot of.

[B]

But then I could be like, you may not Liam Hemsworth.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Dream big.

[A]

I know, I know.

[C]

But you have three, four months until, like, it comes out. I say, don't do anything serious.

[A]

I, I, personally, I wouldn't do anything serious for you. I would just kind of, of way. And the 30 is the new 20, baby.

[B]

That's what I said. I'm mentally, like, 25.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I, I, I, I wouldn't think. I don't don't say, like, oh, I'm 31. That's fine. Just like, yeah.

[B]

But then, but then the other side of it, so I feel like, because I, like, brought him home first night, kind of set, like a preface, like.

[C]

A. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I don't know what it, like, it was. So I was just like, okay. So the second time, he's like, I want to see you again. He was always texting me, blah, blah.

[A]

And it's a good sign because normally.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know, we were texting a lot, like, normal conversations, still talking. And he's to see this week. I'm leaving for, like, a trip this weekend, so I want to see you before I go.

[A]

What trip?

[B]

He was just going to see friends for Halloween. Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Who travels for Halloween?

[C]

Yeah, he Miss.

[A]

Yeah, that's like, kind of a Crazy thing.

[B]

Really. Okay.

[D]

She texts him. What the.

[B]

Wait. So actually, who did you see?

[A]

Like, I'm thinking about this other. The bullet. Bullet Dimple. You know, he was. He was traveling, too. And, you know, he.

[B]

Well, he was traveling on. On the run.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. Remember, he doesn't have a last name or. No, he doesn't have a name.

[A]

No, he. It's a. It's a street name. It's like a.

[B]

No, his name is Baby. Remember?

[D]

Baby?

[B]

His name is Baby. So, yeah, so then the second time, he was like, I want to see you this week. And I was like, great. He's like, should I just, like, come over after work? We could, like, watch a movie. And I was like, here we go. Like, this is, like, setting up to be a hookup. Right, Right. So anyway, we watched a full romcom, like, what's the one with Blake Lively?

[C]

And it ends with us.

[B]

Yes. So I just kind of.

[C]

Is that a ROM cut?

[B]

Okay, maybe not. It's like, half an hour.

[C]

It's Colleen Hoover. Yeah, but we.

[B]

He watched the whole thing. Didn't even try a move. Nothing. But anyway, so then we hook up after. And so then the third time he goes for his trip, I was like, I'm gonna leave him alone. No texting, no nothing. He didn't text me, but then he texted me when he got back and said, hey, sorry I haven't talked to. To you, but I was just super busy, but I would like to see you again. Give him the opportunity to be like, hey. Yeah. I said, do you want to do something, or are you just trying to come over? And he goes, would you be down to order takeout and watch a movie again? So I'm like, is that setting it up to be like, he doesn't want.

[A]

He doesn't want to take you out somewhere?

[B]

Well, now. So I bailed, but I'm like, I can't tell because he texts me all the time. He's having conversations with me. So I chat. GBT'd it, and I put all the conversation. I go, is he just trying to. And they go, well, it sounds like he's, like, trying to make plans, but, like. Like, it could be either way. Kind of sounds like flirty banter, but maybe, like, set a preface. But I'm like. I don't know how to say, like, I'm not looking for anything, like, serious. Maybe not, but, like, I'm not looking for that.

[C]

Wait till you get to that conversation then, though.

[B]

What if he keeps asking me to come over?

[C]

That's fine. Do you like hanging out with him?

[A]

Yeah. Are you having fun?

[B]

It's been twice, but I do. I have been enjoying it.

[C]

Wait till he makes that exclusivity conversation with you. You're not there yet. No. And you're in charge. You're also the one who made the first movie.

[A]

Leah, like, it's okay if it's a situationship. Just make it a situationship.

[C]

It's not like.

[B]

Yeah, but a situationship. This is where I get so confused for myself, because it's like, I want a situationship, but somebody that does stuff still. I don't want someone just to come over.

[D]

Yeah. You want to be taken out on a date?

[B]

Yeah. Let's do fun things together, but still have a great time.

[D]

But go hit the town in Venice.

[B]

Let's go hit the town. And you know, are you.

[A]

Are you. And are you waiting for him to make that. Make. Bring that idea instead of you having to bring that idea up like, oh, we should go out and have. Have fun.

[B]

Yeah. I don't think you always have to do dinner either. Like, I don't always expect a man to, like, pay for my dinner.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Take a stroll on.

[C]

Should be. If it's the first, like, we're going out date. Who's paying for the takeout, him or you?

[B]

That's what I'm saying. I just. I bailed.

[C]

Okay?

[A]

Huh?

[C]

You can't. There can't be, like, a third. Little Netflix and chill night. By the fourth time, he should be taking you out.

[B]

Fair. Okay, we'll do one more.

[C]

One more, and then. Yeah. If it's the same, then I don't know. Then by that time, I really think you need to be looking in words. Are you really that into this?

[B]

Yeah. Am I. Am I into it? Or do I.

[A]

Is this. Is this one. Is this one balding?

[B]

No, he's got hair.

[A]

Oh, that's good.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Because I know you like to go for the bald.

[C]

How old is he?

[B]

The bald one?

[C]

No, this guy.

[B]

The bald, stinky one. This guy is 30. No social media, which is supposed to be a green flag, but I think it's red.

[C]

What's his career?

[B]

It could be anything. I'm like, what were you up to this weekend?

[C]

Right?

[B]

What did you do? Who do you follow?

[C]

You want a guy who has a social media account who actually posts what he's doing.

[B]

He plays a game on LinkedIn. He has. He does. He watches YouTube videos on guitars. He.

[A]

He has a LinkedIn.

[B]

He has a LinkedIn.

[C]

He plays a game on LinkedIn. No, no, LinkedIn has games.

[B]

I sent him a. My, like, my move is like, I send a wordle score sometimes.

[C]

Of course.

[B]

That's like my opening DM to men. I like, send my wordle score.

[C]

Very nice.

[B]

Yeah, it's like, sometimes it works.

[C]

How long do you. Your streak?

[B]

It depends on how illiterate I am that day.

[C]

Okay, is he.

[A]

Is he like, what. What is he into? Is he into sports?

[B]

Guitar? He used to be a football player. He works.

[C]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

I know nothing about him. Right?

[C]

Yeah, no, you got to get to know him a little bit.

[B]

It's like, on dates, it's always about me because I have so much to say.

[A]

Does he not like to. You don't question.

[B]

You're in charge now. I'm going to be quiet. I'm going to be like this.

[C]

Well, no. Or just ask questions. Ask questions.

[B]

Do you ask him questions or think I did?

[A]

Or do you usually just like, kind of.

[B]

I'll talk and I'll be like, well, yeah. What about you?

[A]

Yeah, got it.

[B]

I think I've been talking the whole time. How are you guys?

[D]

Where's the.

[B]

How's the baby?

[C]

Where's the interviews?

[D]

Almost here.

[A]

Baby's not here again.

[D]

Almost here. No, we don't have a name yet, which is kind of stressing out.

[C]

I know.

[A]

I told him. I was like, yo, if that. That baby's ready to come on. Like.

[D]

No, I feel like I'm. I'm.

[B]

His name is Baby.

[D]

I feel like I'm naming, like, a band or a brand, and it's like, this is for the rest of their life.

[B]

Are you going like. Like, neutral, like, classic name where you go in a little.

[D]

She wants Italian. Ah.

[B]

Antonio.

[A]

Do like Bella Lisimo or something like that.

[D]

Yeah, there was a few names that we liked, and then they kind of just like, fell apart. We're just. I don't know.

[B]

I think when you see him, you'll know.

[A]

Do you like Tony?

[D]

I do, but I like Tony for a girl.

[B]

Oh, that's cute.

[C]

That is cute. Dominic.

[A]

No, no.

[C]

Amelia. Emilio.

[A]

Emilio. Oh, Emilio. Do we know Emilio? Oh, I know one.

[B]

Vincenzo.

[D]

We like. We like Vincenzo, but it's, like, cute. My last name is so not Italian that it's like.

[B]

It's like Vincenzo.

[D]

Like, it's kind of just like, ah. But it is.

[C]

I don't know. It's not an Italian last name, but I think it's still hard. I think it can compliment in Italian also.

[A]

You're not Italian, so, like, you have to.

[C]

I'm converting.

[D]

I'm Converting. But yeah, we have no idea yet. I think it's just going to be. I think it's going to hit us. I hope.

[B]

I love that.

[D]

But yes. So we're. It's weird. It could be here in two weeks.

[C]

Wow. How nervous are you? Is it Mariah nervous?

[D]

No, we're not nervous at all. That's great. I thought I would be more so, I guess, well, by the time this episode comes out, so her sister had her baby two weeks early and we're like exactly a month away tomorrow.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

And if even two weeks early, that it's like. Yeah, I don't know. It's just, it's. It's. It hasn't. It's. It's hitting me, but it's not like fully hit me, obviously. Yeah, but it's just so weird.

[A]

Do you have your hospital locked in your nursery?

[B]

The bag. Yeah, pack the bag.

[D]

We got the go bag ready.

[C]

Do you have a meal train?

[D]

Set up a meal train?

[C]

A meal train like some families, like, do. Where? Well, like, once you have a baby baby, a bunch of families will, like, buy your meals, like, every night for, like, come drop it off at a time so you don't have to worry about cooking at all for the first month of having a baby. So you can just focus your attention.

[D]

I don't have anybody close enough to drop off food.

[C]

Oh, no. You know, it's the meal train sets it up, but everyone, like, buys your meals for. Yeah. The rest of the time.

[D]

I've never heard about that.

[C]

Yeah, set up a meal train. It's pretty common in Birmingham.

[A]

Yeah, I know we've talked about this already, but we've talked about it in person too. Off camera. But like, I, I still don't know. Like, am I. Am I flying out if that.

[C]

If. No, you don't need to be in the room if you want Zayn there.

[D]

Zayn, I think you would stress me out in the hospital.

[A]

Oh, no, that's fine.

[D]

No, wait.

[A]

I just, I just don't want to be. I don't want to be judged if I'm not there.

[D]

No, no, nobody would judge you.

[B]

I feel like you wait until they get home and settle in a little bit.

[A]

No, no, yes. Wait till they get home. I'm saying, like, within the weeks of.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Not the day of. I booked the fudgeing flight.

[D]

I'm saying, like, he's in the hospital room. He's like, the doctors also.

[A]

No, I don't expect hemorrhage to text me when she's Delivering the baby, like, I don't expect. I probably won't know until like, sometimes.

[C]

They say, like, babies shouldn't see too many people once they're born. You kind of need, I mean, obviously like grandma, grandpa, that's fine, but like, give it like a month or two to like adapt to the world rather than being like thrust into breathing people carrying all their.

[D]

And it's not like, let's stop kissing babies too.

[C]

Yeah, I'm not even gonna kiss my.

[D]

Like, no, I don't need to kiss like. And especially like you can kiss your relatives. Like kissing them on the mouth.

[A]

Like having 20 people kiss a baby in the same day that it came out is crazy.

[D]

Don't, don't. Let's not do that.

[C]

Yeah, but it's like the crib made.

[D]

Well, we're not doing a crib until like.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Because they don't sleep in the crib.

[C]

Diaper changing station.

[D]

We've got a changing station. We've got like all of like the little essential cuz like they're going to be sleeping in like the little doggy. Bassinet. Yes, bassinet for a while. The crib. We have a crib, but we're not like.

[C]

Do you have all like bottles and formula and like all of that stuff? I don't know.

[D]

Yeah. And then like the sterilizing bottle type thing. Oh, yeah.

[C]

Cleaning them is like a little machine. Oh, that's.

[D]

Stick it in there every time.

[A]

We'd have to clean them butt fucking bottles. So annoying.

[D]

Starts bottle thing. Bodybuilders.

[A]

Formula bodybuilders.

[D]

Yeah, bodybuilders buy breast milk off of pregnant women.

[A]

Oh, why do they.

[D]

Why do they drink new mothers protein, man. I'm surprised you haven't gotten into it.

[A]

Just more, more protein and breast milk.

[C]

Yeah, Good for psoriasis too. Yeah. Yeah, the Kardashians were all about that.

[B]

You rub it on there, huh?

[C]

Yeah, rub it on it.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Actually rubbing breast milk on psoriasis does help it.

[D]

Yeah, we're getting. We're getting excited now.

[B]

They have a. The baby brezza where you can put the formula and the water and you just push a button. It makes the bot.

[A]

No way.

[C]

Whoa.

[D]

It's like a little K cup.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No, you push the button, it go 8 ounces. All of it.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Damn, that's nice.

[D]

Pretty cool.

[A]

Is that what you have or is that what you're getting? Or is it. You're more traditional. You're getting the.

[D]

No, we just have the regular.

[A]

That's what we had to do. We had to do the shake.

[B]

Now they say you shouldn't shake it because it has air bubbles. So you're supposed to like, man, it's always something. I wish you guys lived here. It could be your free nanny.

[A]

It was, it was like a protein shake. Every time, taking those bottles, there's that little powder on the side. You had to scrape it off the side.

[C]

Now do you think like delivery date will be the date or was that will is the delivery date like when she'll be like induced into labor? Or could it happen week of just going water break, Surf's up, let's roll.

[D]

From the way it seems like, obviously like some people have it early, like her sister did and she had to give birth early.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I think if you haven't had anything like that or the high blood pressure leading up to it and it's your actual delivery d you go in and then they would probably try to like induce it on like your set date. Cuz we have like the appointment for the due date on the 13th. It could come early, it could come late. I really don't know.

[A]

Is she at the hospital until it comes out when you guys go in.

[D]

That's what I'm imagining.

[A]

So it could take like five days. She just kind of stays there and waits.

[B]

Also, they do this thing called a membrane sweep and it's supposed to help start it if it doesn't come on the day.

[D]

Right.

[B]

I could be totally wrong. I'm pretty sure they like sweep your membrane. It's supposed to help start like popping that. Yeah.

[C]

Sack.

[A]

Wait, wait, what do you mean sweep your. Sweep your membrane?

[B]

That's just the term. You can't ask.

[C]

Probably like the membrane of like your uterus where the amniotic sack is probably gets it. Like a little agitation.

[B]

It's like, hey, get out of there.

[C]

It's time to go.

[D]

Wow. They use their fingers to separate the amniotic sack from the uterine wall.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Can I help trigger labor?

[A]

Like I'm a love being pregnant.

[B]

That dude, I'm so scared I'm going to blow up like a damn balloon.

[C]

But do you want kids one day?

[B]

I want a lot of kids. Kids. That's why it's crazy to me.

[A]

If you want a lot, you're gonna have to pop them out.

[B]

But I also want to adopt kids. So it's like, oh, kids.

[A]

Angelina Jolie.

[C]

All right, adopt kids. Plural. Adopt more than one.

[B]

I want like four to five kids. Probably like two of my own.

[C]

God.

[A]

Why do you want to. Why do you want to Adopt.

[B]

I've always wanted to adopt. I don't know what it is. I used to like, be obsessed with those Gotcha videos on YouTube. I'd like watch Gotcha Days. It's like, it's the, like families would YouTube their journey of like flying to these places and adopting children and like showing the journey of getting their kids kids and stuff. And they call it Gotcha day to the day.

[C]

Would you adopt? Oh, so wait, would you adopt American or would you want to adopt internationally?

[B]

Internationally? Russia, like China.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Also Russia too. Especially women in Russia. Like young girls. Like if a girl becomes like an orphan or. I don't even know if you can say orphan these days. It's their, their life trajectory. It can get pretty, like, dark if they don't get adopted for a woman.

[A]

It's good to. To.

[C]

Yeah, too. Well, it's good to adopt.

[A]

Adopt whoever.

[C]

Give any kid.

[B]

I feel like when it's my time, I'll know where. Like I'll just feel where it draws me or, you know.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Wherever it takes me.

[C]

Yeah. China as well, you know, with. Yeah. I don't know if they still have the one child policy there. I think they maybe do still. Well, I don't know.

[D]

I think it got lifted.

[C]

It did get lifted. And I know Korea though. They have. They're not having enough kids in South Korea at least.

[D]

Oh, I know that two child policy since 2016.

[C]

Okay. So it's been. You can't have more than two and then further relax. The three three child policy in 2021.

[A]

That's if you're in a. In a rich family.

[C]

We don't have that issue here.

[A]

Yeah, no, no, no.

[B]

Popping kids out left and right.

[C]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

Now that they have this policy in place, do they have like a good amount of people?

[D]

Is it like, like you're saying, like overpopulation?

[C]

Yeah, sometimes they deal with overpopulation if there's not enough housing for people as well. It can affect. It depends on the economy. If like the economy is underperforming, they feel like they need more people to get it there. It's all, do we have too.

[A]

Do we have too many people in the US or not enough?

[C]

I don't think we are making enough people as we should be. We're like the lowest it's been in the past, like 30, 40.

[A]

And that's why Leah's gonna come in. She's gonna actually save this country.

[C]

There you go.

[B]

I really am.

[A]

Do you be that. Like that, that little fish?

[B]

It's my empire. Me and my little empire. Yeah, guys, it's been wild. My life has made a full circle.

[D]

I know you're kind of sitting on like a winning lottery ticket. You're just waiting to cash it.

[B]

I remember when I first moved to la, like my first week here, I got like, I was at Target and this one man was like, oh my God, you're beautiful. And I was like, oh, thank you. And he's like, would you ever like consider modeling? And like, first off, I am no model. Like, this guy was gassing me up. But I was like, for like what? He's like, for like athletes, like, you would be like a ring girl. Like, you would come out on the stage.

[D]

Oh, like the, like the boxing card.

[B]

This is just what he's saying, right? He's like, you're gonna. You would have like a tray of like rings and you would like present it to these men and like, they would see what they like and they buy it there. It's just like, you're kind of like the holder. And I was like, at a jewelry shop, it didn't make sense to me, but I was like, okay. And anyway, he's like, I'd love to have a meeting with you. And at the time I was like, I kind of came to LA to make it. So I was like, this is my big shot. I'm a ring model for athletes. Because he kept saying football players, this, that. And I was like, this is amazing. Like, I was a of a clout chaser when I first came here. So, yeah. So then I was like, yeah, I'll take a meeting with you. It was just like this big man, like straight up, I should have known it looked like a pimp. But like, he was like, meet me at this hotel actually, I'm gonna buy you an Uber. Blah, blah, blah, we're gonna have a meeting. And I was like, okay, but I'm bringing a friend. Because like, you're some stranger that I met at whatever. But he brought me to this really nice hotel and me and my friend Uber there and him and the. This like huge, massive, like 300 pound man show up in a Rolls Royce. Like, come park it in valet. Take me inside the hotel. And I sit there and he tells my friend and the other guy to go talk somewhere else while we talk one on one.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And so I'm sitting there and I'm like, I'm gonna be a fucking model. Like, this is crazy. Look at this life.

[A]

How old are you at this point?

[B]

I was like, freshly 21.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

And I Was like, holy fog. This is crazy. And so he sits there, he. And he basically starts describing prostitution to me. Like, you are gonna sleep with these, these men. We're gonna live this lavish lifestyle. He's like, it's like, yeah, you, like, we pose it as like your high end escort. High end escorts, like, whatever. And he's like, I'm gonna show you the life that you're about to live. He's like, get in. And I look at my friend and I'm like, are we thrilled doing this right now? Like it like jump in the.

[D]

I thought you were gonna be like.

[A]

You'Re gonna say no because.

[B]

Because it took me, it took me till after the situation to realize this is prostitution.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So he made it seem like a very high end thing.

[D]

Dating service.

[B]

Yeah, like, he made it. He very sweet, like sweetness.

[A]

And. And also there are, there are people that do that where you don't actually have to do anything, but that's where you're there for. It's like, I know there's like a lot of them like that too. So I feel like.

[B]

So we get the Rolls Royce and he pulls up to the. This like, like nice ass, like apartment building, gets in the garage. There's like a line of cars like Range Rover, BMW, this, that and the other. He goes, you'll drive this car. I go, amazing. I love a Range Rover. Like, awesome. I had like $50 to my name. I'm like, this is amazing. Then he's like, and then we'll pay for your apartment. So he's like, I'm gonna take you up. Literally has a key, opens the door, two girls are sitting on the couch and. And he goes, hey, I got a client, I'm about to show or something. And then the girl's like, okay. They look terrified. And he pulls out like he goes to this room, goes into a safe and just like dumps money all over the bed and goes, this is how much those made in last week. And I go, I had never seen so much money live in my face. Like, imagine the whole like queen bed just covered in.

[A]

Yeah, I just.

[B]

And I like sat there and I actually contemplated because I was like, this looks amazing. But the fact this man had like a key to these girls house and just bust it whenever he wants did scare me, obviously. And I have morals, like, I'm not a prostitute. But like just showing you your face.

[C]

You use the bathroom and it's like in lipstick. Save us.

[A]

I will not be doing that. What, do I get to drive?

[B]

Yeah, but you said A Range Rover.

[A]

A Range Rover.

[B]

Okay. So I just. Yeah, it was crazy. But he's like, my one girl just bought her first house, her first mansion in Thousand Oaks, like, blah, blah, blah. He's like, I will set you up. And I was like, you know, it. It sounds nice, but the prostitution part was like, I can't do it. I can't do it. So anyway, I turned it down, obviously, and then I went to. Thank you.

[D]

Did you have to, like, play it cool? Like, yeah, I'll call you tomorrow to, like, try to get out of there? Because I would have been nervous.

[B]

I was a little scared once I was like, in.

[A]

But were you acting excited just so. Just so you know you could leave? You know how you have to act excited?

[C]

We'll be in touch.

[A]

Enough.

[D]

Oh, we are ready, girl.

[C]

I. I like what I'm seeing. This is great. Thank you, Goo girls.

[A]

You girls are so hot. Oh, my God.

[B]

This morning I was like, hey, roomies. Which one's my room?

[A]

But I'll be right back. I'm gonna make some calls.

[B]

Well, in the. In the hotel, I remember he was telling me this. I was like, like, prostitution? He's like, shh.

[C]

I was like, don't call it that.

[B]

He's like, no, no. I was like, okay. But yeah, so then that was crazy. And then I went to this, like, Chinese restaurant after, and I see him in a corner, and I ran out the restaurant and he texted me, goes, yo, don't be weird like that. I saw you run out of the restaurant. It wasn't because I. I pretty much ghosted him after that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, you saw, like, how. How long after was this?

[B]

It was probably like two, three months after. So, like, you still would know who I was.

[D]

But.

[A]

Yeah, but you just posted. You're like, oh, my God, you know what? I. I lost your number.

[B]

I was like, can I. Oh, that was you texting me. Oh, I've been meaning to text you back.

[C]

The orange chicken here is great.

[A]

That's how I would it off. I'd have been like, I need your number again. That day my phone got stolen, I would have came up with a whole lot.

[B]

No, it was wild.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So I'm glad I didn't go through with that because I wouldn't be damn.

[A]

Like, few weeks out here too, right?

[C]

Do you think now with this, you know, show gonna come out and stuff? Do you think with your social media. I don't. I'm not even like, saying you should do this. Like, you kind of have like a clean slate of A whole new wave of attention that's going to come in. Like, I'm not saying like you archive like a lot of your post because then that now you can kind of curate. Oh, they're gonna.

[B]

I've deleted my Twitter.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I've deleted my Facebook. I've went through majority of my content that like, I feel like it's just like not even quality content.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like come up again. I deleted all my YouTube channels when I was like trying to be a YouTuber at one point. Like, I don't want anyone to search anything about me, even if it was like embarrassing.

[C]

Yeah, you don't want to open up Embarrassing song.

[B]

I just wouldn't want anybody like, this guy broke my heart today. I don't want people to see shit like that. Yeah. So I definitely need to go through my Tik Toks and stuff and just delete anything I don't want.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Out there.

[C]

Yeah, it's kind of nice, like kind of a new reset.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

This is me. This is what you.

[B]

I thought about just like completely starting over on my Tick Tock, but I don't know, some videos are funny, so.

[C]

Yeah, keep like the ones I have like good views and stuff.

[B]

Yeah, like, yeah, definitely my random blow ups. But you know what I, what I did say going into this, I was like, I've already been canceled and I handled it well, so what's the worst that can happen?

[A]

I. I hope when people are watching, they're like, oh my God, that's that girl from Tick Tock.

[B]

You guys, I was at Trader Joe's the other day and this girl goes, I know you.

[A]

And I was like, oh, you're like, zayn, Snapchat.

[B]

Well, I was like, oh yeah. She's like, you just like, you're. She's like, why do I know you? I was like, I don't know. Are you on TikTok? I was like, yeah, but like, not really. Like I've had some viral moments but like, nothing where you would like recognize me. I was like, I don't. I used to work for a guy on social media. Media. Maybe it's that. And she was like, oh my God, you're the girl who venmoed that guy. And I was like, I can't even make this up. I was like, you're fucking lying. I was like, yeah, that was me. She's like, oh my God, I'm gonna tell my sister I saw you. I was like, so good.

[A]

You want a picture?

[B]

She's like, you're just one of those Girls who's like faces on the Internet. I was like, yeah, no, it is.

[A]

There's times where like it's. It's one swipe, like for the, for you page. I will recognize them. If I'm like in a grocery store, like, oh my God, I've seen that person.

[B]

Yeah. Actually somebody who's on that. The show who like is like on it like behind the scenes. I recognized her from Tick Tock because she was just like this one video that went viral that I'd seen. I was like, oh my God, you're that girl. Yeah. I was like, that's so crazy. I don't actually know her, but it was just one video that I remember.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

It's cool that you can get like.

[B]

Remembered from something like so minor like that.

[D]

Right?

[B]

I mean even when I was like in even stuff from Zayn, which is wild that I was getting recognized because I was in Austin, Texas and she's like, oh my God, you're Zane's assistant. And I'm like like, that's so weird. I'm in Austin, Texas right now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She's like, can we take a picture? I'm like, sure. Yeah. I think that's gonna be the weirdest part for me too is like getting recognized places because I remember you would be so weird about it.

[A]

It's just. I just have like, just super anxious.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't, I just don't. I don't like a ton of attention on me at the same time. So if I'm like walking through somewhere and someone stops me and says hi. I don't mind that. It's just like the.

[B]

Well in the question, it's the heads turning.

[A]

Yeah. And they're all looking at me while one person is. Makeup is putting all the attention on me.

[B]

Yeah. Like when we were in that, that store, that guy was like, are you going to do YouTube again? You go, no.

[A]

I was so. I was just. So I was just like, no. And then walked away. But there was, there was one that I just remember where this girl was screaming. She was. She saw me. She was screaming. Every head was turning. That moment is when I block out.

[D]

I feel uncomfortable when there's people around that don't know who you are and one person's like really over the top. And then like you're saying it draws other eyes. Eyes where it's like that makes me feel uncomfortable.

[B]

Yeah. Cuz then everyone's looking like, who are you guys? Yes.

[A]

Yeah. And it's just like, I don't know.

[D]

I just kind of like that, like a weird kind of look that you get and you're like.

[A]

I also just.

[D]

I didn't just.

[A]

I just don't like public either. Like intention in person.

[D]

It's just.

[B]

I don't really. I don't feel like I'll mind it too much, but it's more so like when I'm running out to grab a coffee, it's like, I don't. I like, I just want to like live a life, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't like it when I'm high.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

It just feels. It just feels weird. Totally normal. But I'm just like. This just doesn't. You're feel real.

[A]

Honestly, just like when I'm drunk, I feel like when we're all, like when we're all drunk, I probably. That's the best time to say hi to anybody. Like, there's never a time.

[C]

Yeah, never.

[A]

I can't even imagine a time. If I was drunk and someone comes to me, I'm just like, like anxious or I just like feel like I. I literally I have a conversation with them for like an hour.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Random person that comes.

[B]

I also feel like even like when I would go out with you guys, just like out and outing, I would feel the people trying to talk to me to come into the group to hang out with you. And I was like, oh, that's icky. I don't like that.

[A]

But take advantage of it.

[B]

I know, right? Like, hey, oh, you wanted to bad bitch.

[D]

I was going to ask because I know you've been around like a lot of, like a lot more like celebrities, like in their inner, like, lives and things like that. Is there any, like, I don't know, like T stories?

[A]

Is there anything you got that's like just very random and a celebrity that.

[D]

You like, looked up to?

[B]

What I will say is sometimes like when I'm standing in front of certain people, I'm like, what the fuck am I doing right here? Like, how did I feel?

[D]

Fake.

[B]

Yeah. Like, how did I. I could be anywhere in the world and people be killed to be like, right here. Like, I've been on vacations with like Justin Bieber and I'd be like, holy fuck. That's like the one person too that I like, freak out over.

[D]

But you're a believer.

[B]

Yeah, I'm a believer, but yeah. No, I. The families that I've worked for, thankfully, I've like, liked. But I do have one experience that when I was like applying for jobs, I work through agencies and one agency and keep in Mind with the Kardashians. I was like making tiktoks of like day in the life of as a high profile nanny. And like I wasn't ever posting anything about them, but I made the mistake of posting them like right after the trip. So then people started putting two and two together of who I work for.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So that's kind of like it started getting a little crazy upset about that.

[D]

That it got like.

[B]

It was not upset. It was more of like the comments were about the kids and like it just became this thing where it just like it was just unnecessary kind of thing. Like.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I respected her for that. And I also, at the same time as those videos were kind of blowing up, I stopped working for her. So she's like, we just like stop the nanny talk. I'm like, oh absolutely, I'll stop it because you know, there's just no need and I'm not a nanny anymore. So that's fine. Respect your decision. Yeah, so I stopped with that. But you could literally google me and it says like Leah Bars Kourtney Kardashian nanny. Tick tock, Bob. Because I had to shut it down. The comments, like my whole thing even I was trying to switch my niche and like it wouldn't switch. It was just like comments like, oh my God, you still work. I'm like, okay guys, like I don't work for that.

[A]

She doesn't work for accordance. She works for Zane.

[B]

No hard feelings. I literally just, I genuinely wanted to move up and like I ran into you and it just worked out. So anyway, I was like trying to find. This is before you though. I was trying to find jobs and so yes, that that's out there. But like I always respect people's priority privacy, like especially working in this like celebrity world. Like I don't ever go against my NDA like that. Like I would never just be posting kids to post kids, but this one family and I will say her name. Queen Latifah. Anyone who wants to hear my earring just fell out. That was her. That was her spirit. Queen Latifah. They sent me to her and she was looking for like a super private nanny for her son and they sent her my thing and I guess she had googled me and all the articles of like Leah's Tick tock this, that and the other. She made this whole email about how unprofessional I am, how the agency shouldn't work with me anymore, how they can't believe they have this person on their roster to the point Putting you down. Oh yeah. They even like with like the head of the agency. And I loved this agency so much to the point where the girl is like, Leah, I had no idea you were posting these. I go, but it has nothing to do with any other family. Like it was directly with the family. I get what it looks like.

[A]

And also it was like a mistake and I feel like, feel like it. The fact that Courtney was like, that she was okay with that. Like, it was like it was a mistake. I feel like it shouldn't have. It shouldn't have gone further than it was.

[B]

Than it was. But like, also like Courtney was aware that those were being posted versus, like, and then it had the conversation of like, let's stop. I'm like, great.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Versus like, if this family said like, hey, I'm not into social media. People don't even know my son looks like, don't do it. I'd be like, oh yeah, for sure. I would. I would never ever do that. Like, I even had an interview where someone was like, I saw your tick tock. I was like, oh, this could go one of two ways. And she was like, I think you're hilarious. I just want to preface. I'm very private. And I was like, no, totally understand that.

[A]

That's a great.

[B]

Got it. So, yeah. So she tried to like, not like.

[D]

Get you fired from the agency. Basically.

[B]

Yeah. And luckily, like, I work with other agencies who just know that I have that and kind of preface that to families. But you know her, that agency stopped working with me. Really. I still, I still talk to them. But like, I feel like that definitely like made like a. Yeah. Weird thing because obviously she's a big client.

[C]

Right.

[B]

And I, She. They probably didn't use. They lost out on a client because yeah.

[A]

The thing is that social media is so integrated in our lives now where it's going to be like those people like her that are like, oh, I'm very private. You can't be posting anything that's gonna like go away.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

Because everybody does social media. You can't just have somebody not be able to post post because oh my God, you're private.

[D]

It's like, it kind of reminded me like when you caught your cleaner.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

Zane, I didn't tell you that was the great.

[D]

Have we. We've never talked about that.

[A]

Talked about that. I didn't want to, but she asked.

[B]

Me, she asked me to use your pool. But I also have to tell you something about too. But let's start with oh, sorry, the housekeeper.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

She texted me when Zayn was traveling and she goes, hey, Leah, I know Zane and Matt are out of town. Can I use their pool? I was like, ooh, she asked you that?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

I was like, oh, I don't think so.

[C]

And she was already kind of a cleaner who was like kind of overstepping boundaries as well.

[B]

Todd, I have your cholly. But Todd, like, played into it.

[C]

Todd liked it, but she was.

[A]

Oh, no. He wanted, he wanted, he wanted. She wanted him to take her to.

[C]

I would avoid, like parts of the house she was in just because she like. Or she would just call too much. I don't know. It's like I felt like I had to talk to her.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[C]

Minutes. And I'm like, I'm just coming down to get a glass of water.

[D]

Please, please. She was like filming stuff in she makes.

[A]

But like, it was like, it would be like in my. It would be like in my.

[B]

She. She like pulls up her shirt and she does one of these like.

[A]

And then I'm looking, I'm like, I'm looking close. Oh my God, that's my bedroom.

[C]

Yeah. She like took her top off, clearly put something else on. It was just like showing cleavage, like.

[D]

While cleaning the house.

[C]

In the house. Yay.

[B]

She was like mopping and then she's.

[C]

Like doing thirst traps. Yeah.

[A]

I didn't get mad. I was like, you know what?

[C]

It was funny. It was quite entertaining, baby.

[B]

Yeah. But you know, okay, so your current housekeeper, I hired her to help me. Like, I just. I moved out of the trap house.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[D]

Good for you.

[B]

I moved out of trap house. I live in a two bedroom by myself, which is amazing. My best friends live above me. So it's kind of like the best of both worlds of like living alone but also having friends above me. I love, but I need so much help because I have so much. I needed help organizing it. So I hired her and I was like, hey, do what you can. I gotta go to work. Like, love you. Bye. 1. I love this woman to death. She's the sweetest little Christian woman you would ever meet. You guys know her. I get home, every single one of my vibrators is lined up on my dresser. Lined up. And then she like. I have a drawer in my dresser that the last drawer is like all my junk. Like old cards, old wallets, old whatever. For Christmas two years ago, I had taken like sexy Polaroid pictures for my ex boyfriend. And when we broke up, I was like, give those shits back to me. Like I want.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Back, because I don't want Polaroids of me just floating around everywhere. So they're like a cute little bow, but then I think they, like, slipped out. Anyway. Place them in a different basket, and they're unwrapped wraps. And I was like, no.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

But I think that she didn't unwrap them. I think they were, like, unwrapped, and she, like, put them together, and I was like.

[C]

That kind of, like, photos.

[B]

I have not called her back since.

[C]

Oh, my God. Across the line.

[B]

It was just like.

[A]

And, you know, she was offended by those pictures.

[B]

Well, I, like, shoved them in, like, so she wouldn't find, like, in a rant. I didn't think she would get there, you know, I didn't think she was gonna get that far. My house was, like, a disaster. But coming home to the. All, like, nicely lined up. I was like, oh, this is so awkward. Like, she's like, your grandma fighting that, you know, Like.

[C]

Yeah, I don't.

[D]

I wouldn't be able to, like, go face to face again.

[B]

Well, so I left for the two months, and I'm like, is it time? Like, can I call it back? Do I start new?

[A]

Like, I think start fresh.

[B]

Say anything but, like, fresh.

[D]

That's really.

[B]

At least, like, put them in a basket or, like, I don't know.

[C]

Just.

[D]

I would have just, like, shut the.

[A]

I'll pretend I didn't see it. Just like.

[B]

Yeah, no, she. We took him out.

[A]

Let me know.

[D]

Hey.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Saw that.

[B]

Yeah. No, I was. I was embarrassed for sure.

[C]

It's like.

[B]

But. But, yeah, it's your birthday.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I brought you some shots. You know what?

[A]

I do. I do want a drink.

[B]

I feel like I should.

[D]

Baby, you deserve it today.

[B]

You know those people who, like, celebrate in the background of you, like, give you a little motorboat. Obviously, I won't.

[A]

Like a Mexican restaurant.

[B]

Yeah, you want to do that?

[C]

Come on, birthday boy.

[B]

The spinny one.

[C]

So I can see that's already making me. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Do not hire me back.

[C]

Well, Leah, thank you so much.

[B]

Anyone else?

[C]

No, thank you.

[B]

I've been waiting for that slap.

[A]

Oh, this is 33, y'.

[C]

All. Well, yeah. Do you want to just plug yourself and. Where people can find you and tune in before this could be the starter.

[B]

Yeah. Guys, my name is Leah. Bars on everything.

[C]

Leah Bars. Leah.

[A]

Bars on everything. Just, you know, keep.

[D]

I can't remember.

[B]

Remember my TikTok. I remember at one point, it scared the. Out of me when people started following me, like, in. In the cancel thing. So I was like, I don't want people to. My digital footprint is. Yeah. So I changed it to Leah Bars with a Z, I think. But yeah, Leah Bars with a Z on Tech Talk.

[A]

Keep updated on her life because her life's about to get a whole lot crazier in a few months. Or I, I don't know. Whatever the show comes out, whenever it comes out, it's going to get a whole lot crazier. You're going to want to keep up with, with her. But. Yeah. Thank you, Leah, for coming on.

[D]

Thanks for coming.

[A]

We really appreciate it.

[B]

Come on whenever.

[A]

And yeah, let's set up an interview so maybe you could be my assistant again.

[D]

There you go.

[A]

Okay. All right. You can check out these episodes every Monday, audio form on all podcast platforms. Every Tuesday, video form on YouTube.com Zayan and Heath.

[D]

That's right. Make sure to check out our Patreon. Patreon.com Zayn and Heath. We keep these cameras rolling. You get an extended cut of every single podcast episode. Episode. You get early access ad free. You get a bonus episode every month. You get a live Q and A every single month. Again, patreon.com zaynanheath thank you for watching.

[A]

We'll see you next. Oh, on widers. We'll see you in a few seconds. Bye.

[C]

Bye.

[A]

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[C]

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[D]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, totally. Winner, winner, chicken breakfast. I'm gonna have to keep this right here.

[A]

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[C]

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