Zane and Heath: Unfiltered

Episode 312: "We Got Caught by the Police!"

Hosts: Zane & Heath
Guests: Leah, Matt Rogers (Las Culturistas)
Date: December 22, 2025

Episode Overview

This lively episode of Zane and Heath: Unfiltered blends classic friend-group banter with personal updates, viral tales, and candid conversations about life changes. The group shares stories ranging from baby blankets and socks to traffic scams and wacky cruise ships. Sprinkled throughout are hilariously honest dialogs about dating lives, body transformations, and life’s financial realities. The tone is energetic, unfiltered, and full of memorable moments.

Main Themes & Topics

• Heath’s Impending Fatherhood & Baby Blanket Reveal
• Viral LA Traffic "Entrapment" Police Story
• Cruise Ship Confessions: From JoJo Siwa to “Poop Cruise”
• Dating Life, Missed Connections & "The One That Got Away"
• Body Image & Transformation Journeys
• Financial Anxiety vs. “Bougie Living”
• Sperm Donation, Half-Siblings & Modern Family Realities

Highlights & Key Discussions

1. Heath’s Baby Watch & Heartfelt Gift (03:02–05:07)

• Heath is attending virtually, staying home because his wife Mariah could go into labor any moment.
• Matt Rogers gifts Heath a hand-knit baby blanket, detailing the stitch and his personal thoughtfulness.
• Quote:

  "I made it with love. I was thinking of you guys the whole time." — Matt Rogers (05:01)

Timestamp Highlights:

• [03:02–05:07] – Blanket reveal and emotional segment about impending fatherhood
• Due date, labor induction discussions, and the nerves around scheduling a baby's birth (05:12–06:26)

2. The Great Sock Debate & "Ballerina" Socks (01:05–02:32)

• The group playfully roasts Zane for his sock choice, digressing into a debate on the disgrace of "no show" versus full socks.
• Quote:

  "I call them ballerina socks. It's so crazy." — Zane (01:24)

3. Leah’s Dating Life & Bar Makeouts (10:02–16:34)

• Matt reveals Leah made out with his college friend, leading to stories about random bar connections and failed DMs.
• Leah jokes about her “second bedroom invite” gag and hunting for friend groups over husbands.
• Quote:

  "My spectrum of my type is very broad and goes all over the map." — Leah (16:23)

4. Viral Police Entrapment in LA (29:36–34:39)

• Heath shows a viral video: cops on motorcycles entrapping drivers via fake jaywalking—despite jaywalking having recently become legal.
• Ethical outrage and anecdotes about traffic tickets, stop sign "rolling," and red-light camera scams ensue.
• Quote:

  "They're hiding in parking lots and hiring people to illegally walk across the street... and whoever passes them gets a ticket." — Heath (31:09)

• [31:01–33:54] – Video breakdown and reactions to policing tactics

5. Body Image, Diets, & Transformation Talk (20:43–23:54; 25:09–29:02)

• Zane and Heath reminisce about old, slimmer days, and joke about “Hot Girl Diets.”
• Heath discusses his multi-day fast, breaking it early due to fasting-induced hives, and past pescatarian attempts.
• The group openly jokes about body changes and social media “reveal” anxieties.
• Quote:

  "Even our vine days, we were snatched." — Heath (25:18)

6. Insane Fast Food Lines & Grand Openings (16:40–19:17)

• Discussion of Nashville’s In-N-Out opening and mile-long lines; pros/cons of opening day visits; In-N-Out vs. Whataburger vs. Five Guys vs. Chick-fil-A debates.
• Quote:

  "That's why I'm not going on opening day... I'll wait weeks until they get situated." — Matt Rogers (18:10)

7. Road Rage Tales & Vehicle Mishaps (38:14–40:49)

• Heath recounts friends shooting bottle rockets out car windows, leading to a road rage-induced crash.
• Leah confesses to a minor crash while texting Zane—and getting away with it because it was a rental.
• Sobering test-drive accident anxieties and the hazards of drunk-test-driving at state fairs.
• Quote:

  "I don't know if I'd be able... to go to a dealership again." — Heath, on crashing a test car (40:52)

8. Cruises: The Good, the Bad, and the JoJo Siwa (43:06–48:11)

• Spirited discussion about JoJo Siwa’s family cruise, Netflix “poop cruise” disasters, and the unique culture of cruise vacations.
• Leah expresses her yearning for a singles party cruise. Everyone recalls awkward cruise encounters and casino catastrophes.
• Quote:

  "Those poor dads who are buying those tickets." — Matt Rogers, on JoJo Siwa cruise (44:35)

• [44:10–48:11] – Cruise memories, horror stories, and laughter

9. Dating Apps, The One That Got Away & Modern Romance (49:53–57:16)

• Leah and Zane update each other on the status of their dating lives: failed dates, missed connections, and “types.”
• Zane shares his insecurities around bar approaches and rejection, while Leah advocates for women doing the approaching.
• Group unpacks what to do when a connection chooses a friend instead, and whether to “unmatch.”
• Quote:

  "I feel like that's why now at the bars, I'm the one having to go out and hunt because I'm like, this is a blue job. I'm doing what the men won't." — Leah (54:47)

10. Sperm Donation, DNA Testing & Family Curiosity (63:47–69:41)

• A candid sidebar featuring an unidentified female guest who shares her experience of being a donor-conceived child, connecting with half-siblings, and the awkwardness of sperm bank privacy.
• The group wonders about sperm donor databases, “Sperm World” documentaries, and just how much donors (and children) know.
• Quote:

  "Damn, that would suck. Even your sperm wouldn't get picked. You don't get laid, and then your sperm also doesn't." — Heath (64:32)

• [63:47–67:41] – Candid, humorous, and insightful discussion

11. Living Bougie While Broke: Adulting in LA (72:19–74:53)

• Leah details her financial stress—rent, car payments—while admitting to living beyond her means.
• The group jokes about why $100,000 “is now low class,” and trading old TVs for new flatscreens.
• Quote:

  "My rent is now 3250 and it hurts. But I love my house... I'm trying to be an adult." — Leah (72:28)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "I call them ballerina socks." — Zane (01:24)
• "You're over here moving like, literally, butter." — Zane to Heath (02:36)
• "It smells like love and friendship and many years of it." — Matt Rogers, describing the baby blanket (04:34)
• "That's my spectrum of my type—it goes all over the map." — Leah (16:23)
• "It's baiting. It's entrapment." — Heath, on LA police setup (30:55)
• "It's all about that hot girl diet. Me and my mom, day three—we’re literally shaking." — Zane (20:48)
• "I just want to get it big up here so the rest doesn't matter." — Zane, on body image goals (23:49)
• "Did you ever have one that got away?" — Heath (52:54)
• "Damn, that would suck. Even your sperm wouldn't get picked." — Heath (64:32)
• "I'm at the verge of a sperm donor." — Leah (63:34)
• "Money in, money out." — Heath (73:26)

Timestamps for Major Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |:--------------|:--------------------------------------------------| | 03:02–05:07 | Baby Blanket Gift, Heath's Fatherhood Update | | 10:02–16:34 | Leah's Bar Makeout Story, Types, and Dating Gags | | 29:36–34:39 | LA Police Entrapment/Got Caught by the Police | | 20:43–23:54 | Hot Girl Diets and Transformation Memories | | 25:09–29:02 | Diets, Fasting, Health Woes | | 38:14–40:49 | Fireworks Road Rage Event, Car Crash Anecdotes | | 43:06–48:11 | Cruise Ship Stories and Poop Cruise Doc | | 49:53–57:16 | Modern Dating, Dating Apps, Lost Love | | 63:47–67:41 | Sperm Donation, DNA, Family | | 72:19–74:53 | Adulting, Finances, LA Rent Woes |

Tone & Style

The episode is freewheeling and unfiltered—loaded with sarcasm, warmth, chaotic energy, and supportive friendship vibes. The group’s rapport shines through both in playful roasting and genuine heart-to-hearts about major life changes and day-to-day struggles.

If You Only Listen to a Few Parts

• 03:02–05:07 — Matt gifting Heath a heartfelt baby blanket (emotional & warm)
• 29:36–34:39 — Viral police entrapment and public outrage (funny + spicy debate)
• 43:06–48:11 — Cruise horror stories, JoJo Siwa cruise banter (wild ride)
• 63:47–67:41 — Raw talk about sperm banks, half-siblings, and the new family tree

Final Thoughts

This episode is a quintessential Zane & Heath blend: wild stories, viral tales, and thoughtful real-talk about love, life, and growing up—served with a heavy dash of humor and camaraderie. If you love spontaneous, wide-ranging convo from hilarious, self-aware friends, Episode 312 is for you!