317: Finding Out Our HS Teachers Are Criminals ???

Summary

Podcast Summary: Zane and Heath: Unfiltered – "Zane Found the Most Disgusting Restaurant in LA" (Ep. 317, Jan 26, 2026)

---

Main Theme / Purpose

This episode is a classic hangout between Zane, Heath, and Matt, blending viral internet moments with personal stories about food, parenting, and high school scandals. The hosts start with a deep dive on TikTok culture, particularly how viral creators intersect with big brands, and transition into relatable life updates, wild high school memories, and funny takes on parenting and food etiquette. The lively conversation keeps the “unfiltered” vibe alive, creating that familiar, irreverent, and warm energy longtime listeners love.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Dr. Pepper Jingle TikTok Phenomenon (02:01–08:31)

• The Viral Jingle’s Origin: Zayn recounts the story of a TikToker who created a catchy jingle for Dr. Pepper Boba (“Dr. Pepper Baby, it’s good and nice”) that organically went viral.
• Brand Response: Instead of ignoring it (as brands often did in the past), Dr. Pepper jumped on the trend, turning it into a national commercial.
• Creator Compensation: The hosts estimate what the TikToker should be paid — from $50,000 (“so far, so good for her” - Zayn, 06:15) to $125,000 (“that’s why I would say you should charge the premium” - Matt, 05:28). There’s praise for brands taking care of creators, while criticizing historical stinginess.
• Cultural Commentary: The group riffs on marketing’s evolution and how internet moments change advertising. There’s hope such organic collaborations become the norm.
• Memorable Quote: “Fuck AI. This is what’s just true human creativity and the Internet and what it can do.” – Matt (06:52)
• Fun Fact: Dr. Pepper was originally meant to be served hot! (“Dr. Pepper was made to be heated up and drank as, like, a. Like a warm tea type thing.” – Heath, 07:39)

2. TikTok Virality & Creator Fame (08:41–10:10)

• Other Viral Examples: Another TikTok creator leveraged fame to land real-world promo gigs, even overcoming skepticism and internet negativity.
• Heath’s Social Media Blackout: As a new dad, Heath admits he’s missing out on a lot of viral content — “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” (09:40)
• Podcast as Friends Filling Each Other In: The show’s conversational tone feels like friends keeping each other in the loop (“We’re podcasting for you, Heath.” – Zayn, 10:04)

3. Catching Up: Life, Skiing, and Food (10:45–15:35)

• Upcoming Travels: Zayn and Matt have overlapping trips to Tahoe, but Zayn emphasizes he’s “done with the physical sport” after some harrowing stories (11:31).
• Food & Casino Vibes: The group shares casino recommendations and laments physical injuries tied to bachelor parties and snow tubing.
• Weather Superstition: Matt brings up an odd tradition — predicting southern U.S. snowfall via persimmon seeds, opening playful skepticism and humor about “simulation theory” (15:31).

4. Food, Silverware, and Party Etiquette (16:57–24:40)

• Forks vs. Spoons: A playful debate about preferred utensils with strong opinions (“I want 10 prong if I’m eating cake.” – Heath, 18:55).
• Silverware TikTok: Shout-out to Mariah and the niche world of silverware collectors (“People like show off their forks and spoons.” – Heath, 17:47).
• Paper Plates and Decor: Rants about cheap party supplies, “tampon wrapper” plate designs, and personal hygiene mishaps at restaurants.
• Plastic Cutlery: The clear plastic fork is universally reviled (“Ban all clear silverware. Ban it.” – Heath, 24:36).

5. Restaurant Cleanliness & Viral Disgust (24:48–28:44)

• The Crumble Cookie Scandal: Zayn horrifies the guys with a viral image of a worker’s sock-laden foot on a cookie tray.
• Commentary on Brand Image: Matt compares Crumble’s issues to places with stricter codes (like Chick-fil-A). The consensus: as food brands grow, hygiene issues risk going public.
• Joking about “Leaning In”: Suggestions to release an “athlete’s foot flavor” at Crumble for damage control.

6. “Jessica” as the New “Karen”, Baby Jessica & Media Nostalgia (28:45–36:47)

• Millennial “Karen” Replacement: Generation Z calls out “Jessica” as the new problem-customer name; hosts discuss if it fits (“Jessica’s are usually nice girls” – Matt, 29:37).
• Baby Jessica’s 1987 Well Incident: Matt tells the gripping news story of a toddler stuck in a Texas well, drawing a line from media moments to baby-name popularity.
• Nostalgic Movie References: "The Ring" and "Hot Chick" come up, with tongue-in-cheek theories about inspiration (“I have a feeling the movie the Ring was based off this story.” – Zayn, 33:04).

7. Game of Thrones Prequel Experiences (33:41–36:24)

• Advance Screening: Zayn attended an early screening for the new “Tales of Dunk and Egg” Game of Thrones prequel, finding it cute and more comedic than expected.
• Vegas Hotel Wishful Thinking: The hosts fantasize about the Excalibur hotel getting a Westeros makeover (“...they could really do something insane. Especially with how much money Vegas has.” – Zayn, 36:05).
• Theme Park Tangent: There are musings about a “Retro Land” park with decade-specific sections (38:19).

8. Longevity, Health, and Parenting (39:13–43:35)

• Living to 110: Zayn jokes about wanting grandkids while still able to ride roller coasters, with an aside about whether modern life really increases life expectancy.
• Dental Care Throwback: Speculation on the horrors of pre-modern dentistry and historical health (“Can you just imagine people back then not having proper...dental care?” – Zayn, 41:07).
• Castaway & Plane Crash Movies: A trip down memory lane lamenting the trauma of “Castaway” and too many plane crash scenes in pop culture.

9. High School Scandals: Sex, Drugs, and Security Guards (48:05–53:36)

• Wild Alma Mater: Zayn and Heath’s old high school is back in the news for scandal — a teacher arrested for an inappropriate relationship with an (adult) student, and, in the not-so-distant past, a security guard busted in a cocaine sting.
• Student Drug Use: The hosts agree hard drugs weren’t common at their school; weed was the “rebellion” of choice.
• Security Guard Infamy: “Our school was literally narcos.” – Zayn, 48:41

10. Schools: Public vs. Private, and the D.A.R.E. Program (56:54–59:06)

• Private vs. Public: Debate over whether private school is actually “worse” in terms of drugs, since kids from wealthy backgrounds have more access.
• Drug Prevention Nostalgia: The hosts reminisce about the "D.A.R.E." era and its sometimes overblown warnings, now seen in a more nuanced adult light.
• Scared Straight & To Catch a Predator: Discussion of ‘scared straight’ and exploitative TV formats, expressing discomfort but fascination with how they aired.

11. New Parent Life: Tony’s First Month (64:07–74:39)

• Dad Diet: Heath is living on caffeine and donuts, and not ashamed (“I want a hamburger and I want Krispy Kremes.” – Heath, 64:36).
• Mariah’s Recovery: She’s “bounced back” quickly from pregnancy, but there’s not much time to work out.
• Newborn Anxieties: Heath openly discusses worrying whether Tony’s features are shaping “perfectly,” stressing about minor asymmetries in ears and nose, and learning to just focus on health.
• Colicky Babies: Relief that Tony isn’t colicky, and a brief medical tangent on colic and allergies.
• Dangerous Social Media Parenting: Heath warns new parents about TikTok-induced panic (“I had to shut my phone off...it will put you into a panic spiral thinking that something’s wrong.” – Heath, 74:06)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Fuck AI. This is what’s just true human creativity and the Internet and what it can do.” – Matt (06:52)
• “Ban all clear silverware. Ban it.” – Heath (24:36)
• “Our school was literally narcos.” – Zayn (48:41)
• “They dare, do the DARE program. Do they still have the DARE program? Honestly, that's probably bigger than ever.” – Zayn (57:33)
• “I want 10 prong if I'm eating cake. Give me that ratio. I'm not taking baby bites.” – Heath (18:55)
• “I feel like after a week, it turns into just ‘please stay alive.’” – Heath, on parenting a newborn (69:04)
• “You guys don’t, like when I fart, but you love when Tony farts.” – Zayn, about baby milestones (70:57)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:01 – The Dr. Pepper TikTok saga
• 10:45 – Weekly catchups, injuries, skiing, Tahoe plans
• 16:57 – Fork vs. spoon debate; party supply rants
• 24:48 – Crumble Cookie’s viral hygiene fail
• 28:45 – “Jessica” as new “Karen”; Baby Jessica’s story
• 33:41 – Game of Thrones prequel screening
• 39:13 – Life expectancy tangents
• 48:05 – High school scandals (teacher & drugs)
• 56:54 – School comparisons and D.A.R.E. memories
• 64:07 – Heath’s new dad life, newborn worries, colic, social media anxiety

---

Tone & Atmosphere

• Authentic. Relatable. Jokingly irreverent.
• Classic Zane & Heath banter: friends oversharing, genuine curiosity, and a comfy, inside-jokes energy.
• Occasional heartfelt moments weave in (“I just can’t stop watching it. So cute. I’ve never met him and I love him to death.” – Zayn, 65:42).

---

Conclusion

The episode delivers a cozy, laughter-filled perspective on trending internet culture, food, parenting, and nostalgia, anchored by true friendship. Even without major headline drama, the hosts’ chemistry and openness create a snapshot of millennial life filtered through TikTok, pop culture, and new baby milestones. For listeners, it’s the digital equivalent of hanging out with your funniest friends at the kitchen table — good vibes, questionable etiquette, and all.

Transcript

[Ad Host]

I didn't realize I was wasting $415 a month until I downloaded Rocket Money. I thought I had my finances under control until the app laid out all my spending and categorized it for me. Takeout shopping and unused subscriptions were quietly draining my account, and as a result, my savings took a backseat. But Rocket Money doesn't just tell you what you're wasting money on. It takes action to save you money. First, the app looks at your income and monthly expenses and calculates how much you can safely spend each day to stay under budget. Rocket Money also fines and cancels unwanted subscriptions for you, and even negotiates better rates on your bills so you have more money in your pocket. On average, Rocket Money members can save up to $740 a year when using all the app's premium features. Users love the app with over 186,000 five star ratings. It's time to simplify your finances and take control of your Money. Go to RocketMoney.com cancel to get started. That's RocketMoney.com cancel or RocketMoney.com cancel.

[Matt]

Corporate.

[Ad Host]

Credit cards Cash flow management Centralizing Spend Help with Catching fraud A powerful corporate card program needs to do a lot, so it should be designed to help work with your business. That's why with the American Express corporate program, you can customize key elements to match your company's needs. Explore and apply from a variety of card types based based on employee roles, select liability and billing options that fit your needs, add spending controls to support compliance, and decide whether earning rewards or cash back in the form of a statement. Credit delivers more value for your business. Learn more and start customizing your corporate [e-mail] corporate terms apply.

[Zayn]

565678 Dr. Peppa Baby it's good and.

[Matt]

Nice Dr. Peppa Baby it's good and nice.

[Zayn]

Have you ever seen that tick tock?

[Heath]

Okay, you haven't?

[Zayn]

You've never seen that tick tock?

[Heath]

No.

[Zayn]

Okay, so this. So this girl, I forget her name. This girl decides just to make a tick tock going, I have a new jingle for Dr. Pepper Boba. And then she just sings it. Dr. Fever Babe it's good and nice.

[Matt]

And she's just filming, you know, just herself, probably on the corner of her bed. Oh yeah, this is it, Romeo. Dr. Pepper Baby is good and nice and so.

[Zayn]

And then she just had to act on this before someone got sent this in a dream and steal it from me. So I impulsively posted this. So everyone's like, oh my. Like this is Amazing. Everyone's sharing it. Everyone's liking it. It's going viral.

[Heath]

Did Dr. Pepper reach out?

[Zayn]

So that's what we were all hoping for. We're like, we hope Dr. Pepper reaches out. But, like, they pretty much kept it a secret because I'm. Dr. Pepper may have commented on it, but that's all we knew. And then all of a sudden, you don't hear about it, but it's still viral. People are still talking about it all of a sudden. Go to the next one for the.

[Matt]

National championship for college football, you know, Indiana versus Miami. This airs on tv.

[Zayn]

This airs on tv.

[Matt]

Baby. It's good and nice.

[Zayn]

I kind of. I kind of skipped a. I kind of skipped a. A step or a part that happened before this. But a producer decided to take her voice and make a jingle out of it. So the jingle pretty much sounded just like that. And that also went viral. So when Dr. Dr. Pepper saw that, they're like, okay, we're gonna make this a commercial. Which most of the time, like, I feel like a few years ago, the brand would have never done anything.

[Heath]

No, yeah, yeah.

[Zayn]

They would just, like, let it go. Like, oh, we got free promo out of it.

[Matt]

Yeah. We're going to send you just a little Dr. Pepper gift bag. And thanks for just making a viral moment for us.

[Zayn]

And nothing annoys me more. Especially, like, in the past few years, nothing annoyed me more than a brand not taking advantage of a situation and doing something with the creator. Like, I. I'm sure she got covered and got paid for that, which is amazing. Ever. I'm sure everybody got covered, but few years ago, a brand would take that and not even take care of the person that made that jingle or came up with that idea.

[Heath]

Right.

[Zayn]

So it's really nice seeing how the Internet comes together for any. Every moment like this. And, you know, you know, Dr. Pepper paid her well because there is a good chance that everybody's reaching.

[Heath]

I really. I really hope they did.

[Matt]

I hope they did, because that would be bad PR for them if they totally screwed her over.

[Zayn]

Terrible pr and you. But the thing is, you know, everybody's reaching out there. You better have gotten that bad girl. And if they found out that she didn't, could you imagine that?

[Heath]

What do you think is the inaccurate price for that? Like, if you heard it, you would be like, oh, that's it.

[Zayn]

How much are you?

[Heath]

Like, whoa.

[Zayn]

How much do you. I think. Or. And how much she got paid? I'm gonna give you two different prices. How much? I think she should have got Paid for a whole commercial jingle. They. They pretty much just got a free commercial. A commercial.

[Matt]

Viral moment.

[Zayn]

Viral moments, yeah.

[Matt]

Packaged with that, you have to think.

[Zayn]

About how many eyes saw her. Tik tok, the guy that made that tik tok and everybody talking about it. To me, that's all comes with a price.

[Matt]

So what price tag you putting it on?

[Zayn]

My price tag, I, as a brand doctor, with the much amount of money that they have, I would have paid her 50 to 100k.

[Matt]

I would say 125,000.

[Zayn]

Why 125? Like, why?

[Matt]

Because it's that successful of a jingle.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Matt]

I think if you were writing any jingle for anything else, like, I think that is usually around between like 15, 30,000, depending on the scale of who you're like, yeah, pain working. I know that. Like, you know, what is it? Is it. We are farmers, like, thinking of any big famous jingle, those are usually written by people who have written other big famous jingles. And if you want one that's catchy and gets in people's heads. Yeah, they pay a pretty price tag. So. But because of her and how well it was getting in. Stuck in everyone's heads. Yeah. That's why I would say you should charge her the premium or pay her the premium of what they would have wanted.

[Zayn]

Like, to me, I feel like the premium doesn't come yet. I feel like 50 to 100k is amazing and that's going to, like, go so, so far.

[Heath]

Next one is going to be so far for her.

[Zayn]

I feel like if everybody is like, we want this to be the Dr. Pepper jingle. Dr. Pepper's going to be like, okay, you know what, here's 500k because this is going to be now our main jingle for this. We're going to play this at every commercial. Every, every. Like, it's just going to be a moment and that's when like that premium comes into play.

[Heath]

You know what would be really cool is if like 40 years from now we're watching TV and that's their jingle still.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

We're telling our kids, like, no, you don't understand this. Tiktoker randomly posted and they're like, what?

[Matt]

See, that's the beauty of it.

[Heath]

Really cool.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Fuck AI. This is what's just true human creativity and the Internet and what it can do.

[Zayn]

You know, that guy probably used AI to make that jingle.

[Matt]

Oh, you think so? Just like the beat.

[Zayn]

I mean, I mean, but people were.

[Matt]

Kind of critiquing why it was getting so popular. Everyone's like, but Good and nice. They're like, really?

[Zayn]

Because.

[Heath]

And it repeats it twice.

[Matt]

Yes, it's good and nice. They would never want. We don't want our product to be said. It's good and nice. It's much more than that. It's Dr. Pepper.

[Zayn]

Good on ice.

[Matt]

That's good.

[Zayn]

Dr. Pepper, baby. It's good on ice. Because you know what? You can't drink a Dr. Pepper warm.

[Matt]

They got to sell bottles. That's still part of their product line.

[Heath]

It was invented to be drank hot.

[Matt]

Oh, really? More flavor.

[Zayn]

No, no, I think that's coke.

[Heath]

No, Dr. Pepper was made to be heated up and drank as, like, a. Like a warm tea type thing.

[Zayn]

That's some you'd like.

[Heath]

Yeah. Kind of. Kind of spicy.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Piping hot.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

Oh, God. I mean, that makes sense.

[Heath]

Hot Dr. Pepper.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

I like, as soon as I saw that on tv, my. Like, I feel like my heart doesn't go truly warm like that for a lot of things. That one truly made me so happy. Like, there's so many negative and dark places in their Internet. It's moments like that that really, like, make me believe in the Internet.

[Matt]

Yeah. This is.

[Zayn]

This is awesome. And I want to see more of that. I want to see more people doing dumb jingles and it landing on, like, a Super bowl commercial. Like, that is. That is the beauty of it.

[Matt]

I bet they may run it for a Super bowl commercial. Maybe she's going to be in it. But they got to be moving fast because super bowl is, like, in two weeks. Yeah.

[Zayn]

So they know that that commercial would be talked about for so long. That'd be such a moment also, that, you know that funeral that girls like. 1, 2, 3, release them. Oh, she actually haven't had a phone to call you up.

[Matt]

Some compensation.

[Zayn]

So brands, different brands keep hiring her to come to the thing and promote their brand.

[Matt]

Yeah. The New York Times ball drop with, like, Planet Fitness or whatever. She was there, like, under the ball going, 1, 2, 3, release them. And what's crazy about that whole moment for her is when it. The video was going around, everybody thought it was super cringe, and they thought her singing wasn't good, but then they realized it's because she's performing at a funeral for one of her close friends. She also wrote that song because multiple of her family members have died over the past few years. And the girl can actually sing.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Like, it. It went from being this, ooh, cringe thing to be like, bump it. That's actually a good song.

[Zayn]

I wish heaven had a phone. To call you up some conversations.

[Heath]

I'm realizing how much I'm missing out. I have no idea what you're talking about.

[Zayn]

Well, because you have a baby.

[Matt]

I know. It's a good excuse, Heath. It's a good excuse.

[Zayn]

I can't wait to see your screen time in, like, the next month.

[Heath]

It's zero.

[Matt]

I bet.

[Zayn]

I bet. So that's why we. That's why we're going to continue this podcast.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Honestly, it feels good. Like, I. I feel like I'm a listener and you guys are, like, filling me in. I'm like, this is fun.

[Zayn]

No, I love it. So now we're actually. We're podcasting for you, Heath.

[Heath]

Thank you.

[Zayn]

We're filling you in on the filling you.

[Heath]

Feels good and nice.

[Zayn]

Yeah. All right, let's roll the intro, baby. You ready? Let's get it.

[Heath]

I grabbed a. A Coke Zero and I have Dr. Pepper up in the fridge.

[Zayn]

Damn it, Heath. Come on.

[Heath]

I should have known.

[Zayn]

All right, you ready? One, two, three, release.

[Matt]

It's coffee talk, baby.

[Heath]

Baby. Yeah.

[Zayn]

It's good and nice. Welcome back to Zany Heath Unfiltered. I'm Zayn.

[Heath]

I'm. I'm Keith. Oh, my gosh.

[Zayn]

Are you. No, it's okay. It's confusing. Heath, usually you're right here, so.

[Heath]

Kidding.

[Matt]

I think so. Yeah. All right.

[Zayn]

Well, guys, welcome back to Z Unfiltered. We're so glad that you are back here again. How's everybody doing? How's everybody's week? How's everybody's day?

[Matt]

The week's been good. The week's been chill.

[Heath]

It's been awesome.

[Zayn]

All right. Sick. I. I love that. All right, cool, fam.

[Matt]

I'm just. I have to pack to go skiing or. I'm going skiing this weekend. You're also going to be out?

[Zayn]

Yeah, Me and Matt are going to be in the same place in the same weekend?

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Oh, for. Because you're going for the bachelor trip.

[Zayn]

I'm going for a bachelor trip. He's going just for a. Like, just a trip.

[Matt]

With friends.

[Zayn]

With friends. Yeah. But we're going to be on the opposite sides of Tahoe.

[Matt]

Are you going skiing on this bachelor trip?

[Zayn]

They're going to.

[Matt]

I'm not. Okay.

[Zayn]

I'm done with the. I'm done with the physical sport. Like, the. I'm done with that shit. I know skiing.

[Matt]

I get anxiety before it every time.

[Zayn]

But once do you tumble down the.

[Matt]

That was the worst. I'm surprised I'm still walking.

[Zayn]

I will never forget that day. He. I know. I've told you a million times. I tell the viewers a million times. I'm saying it again. When Matt, When I saw. I haven't seen him in like 30, 40 minutes. Right. And then I'm like, matt, what happened? He's skiing down and he is all.

[Matt]

Like black and just covered in mud.

[Zayn]

I'm like, matt, what happened? He's like, bro, I fell up on top of the mountain and I just kept rolling.

[Matt]

I like went down a blue, thinking I could handle it, not realizing, you know, it had been six years since I had skied. Thought I could handle it. Just.

[Heath]

Did you go back track? Why were you so dirty?

[Matt]

I wasn't able, like, you know when like you're going down to blue, you're supposed to, you know, be kind of zigzagging and stuff like that. I was just taking it and I couldn't. I was trying a pizza and it just ate a pizza.

[Zayn]

But Heath on, like the last, the last time I ever told myself I was gonna do something like a physical sport like was your bachelor party when we did the, the skimble.

[Heath]

Yep. That was wakeboarding.

[Zayn]

Yeah. After that ruined my weekend and I could barely walk to the.

[Heath]

For a month. I couldn't walk. My back was shot.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

So, yeah, I'm done. And. And that snow sledding, the. The tube setting that we did, the side of David's house, that was. I shouldn't have even done that. That was. That was risky. That was risky. So I'm done. But I will, I will be on this. I'll be at the bar.

[Matt]

Okay. And I'll probably see at the casino.

[Zayn]

The casino.

[Heath]

Oh, that's right. There is a casino across the border, right?

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

Wait, there's a casino in Tahoe?

[Matt]

Yeah, I guess what you do right on the border of like Nevada, so, you know, gambling is legal there. It's like the closest place you can like really gamble. It's great.

[Heath]

It's like across the street of the border. It's like super close.

[Matt]

Oh, wow.

[Zayn]

So it's like a really popular thing to do in Tahoe.

[Matt]

Yeah, yeah. Huge. Huge. They got a Harrah's, they got a gold nugget. You know, like total Vegas. But it's like, it's a vibe.

[Zayn]

Oh, wow. Yeah. Cool.

[Heath]

I might be doing some snowboarding here too.

[Matt]

Oh, really? You can snowboard?

[Zayn]

What does it look like out there?

[Heath]

It's crazy. It's. It's getting really cold here, but apparently I was checking like the, the weather app. Apparently we're supposed to get like 20 something inches of snow this weekend.

[Matt]

That's true.

[Zayn]

20 inches.

[Heath]

That's crazy.

[Matt]

It's gonna snow big time in Alabama as well. And you know, my brother in law was telling me about this. You know, persimmons, like the. Is it a fruit or vegetable? I don't even know what it is. They kind of look like a tomato. Persimmon seeds can like. Yeah, they look like a tomato.

[Zayn]

Oh, I've never.

[Matt]

I've never heard of. That's an orange, I believe.

[Zayn]

Okay.

[Matt]

But the seeds of them, by the seasons can predict if it's going to snow like in that winter, depending on where you grow your persimmons.

[Zayn]

Okay.

[Matt]

And my brother in law was telling me this saying, oh, it's going to snow in like Birmingham this year. I'm like, really? He goes, yeah, because the persimmon seeds say so. And I'm like, yeah, that sounds like a bunch of bologna. It's true.

[Heath]

Coming from the guy who goes to the Groundhog Day and swears that's all in good fun.

[Zayn]

Yeah, that.

[Heath]

But Simmons is crazy talk.

[Zayn]

This is, yeah, crazy.

[Heath]

Matt, I think you still owe me money for that.

[Matt]

I do, I do, I do. I'll get you, buddy. What was it, 100 bucks? Did we even agree what the money was?

[Heath]

I have no idea. You. You made Tony a blanket. We're even.

[Matt]

There you go.

[Zayn]

So we saw a spoon in the persimmons.

[Matt]

Yes. So if it's a knife, it means it's a harsh winter. If it's a fork, it means a mild winter. And if it's a spoon, it's lots of snow. So in the area I live, at least Alabama. I'm curious. Probably out in Tennessee, they got some spoon shaped persimmon marks.

[Zayn]

All right, all right.

[Matt]

The persimmon seeds, it's not like you cut open a persimmon, you got to cut open the persimmon seed.

[Zayn]

Wait, that's crazy that those are the shapes that it causes.

[Matt]

Yeah. Wait, that is kind of crazy. An actual fork and actual.

[Heath]

Why is it all silverware?

[Matt]

This one's a leaf. Maybe that is more like the spoon shaped one. It's interesting that you can forecast.

[Zayn]

Maybe we really are all in assimilation.

[Matt]

You think so?

[Zayn]

I could see like somebody in the back end. Like, we're gonna come up with a fruit. We're gonna do a little fork, knife, spoon in the middle. Make everybody think that that's what you got to look at. But what to see how much it snows that year and we're all just eating it up. All right, so after the holidays, my wallet desperately needs a recovery plan. So if you're thinking what I'm thinking and trying to cut costs this year, Mint Mobile is coming in clutch right now. Their end of the year sale is still happening, but only until the end of January. So hurry. You can get 50 off unlimited premium wireless when you sign up for 3, 6 or 12 months. SA huge amounts compared to big wireless plans that love sneaking in extra monthly charges and fees. And don't you worry, you're not sacrificing service or coverage. You still get high speed data, unlimited talk and text, all on the nation's largest 5G network. You can even use your own phone, keep your number and all your contacts, making it an easy switch. Honestly, if I was aware of this product before I got locked into another carrier, Mint is what I'd go with today. And it's a no brainer. This January, quit overspending on Wireless with 50% off unlimited premium wireless plans start at $15 a month at mintmobile.com heat that's mint mobile.com/he limited time offer. Upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for 12 months. Plan required, $15 a month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only 50 gigabytes. May slow when network is busy. Capable device required. Availability, speed and coverage varies. See Mint mobile.com Thank you Mint Mobile for sponsoring this podcast. We love you.

[Matt]

Do you guys like forks or spoons more?

[Zayn]

All right.

[Matt]

Yes. With it.

[Zayn]

With.

[Heath]

With the, with a ground breaking question.

[Matt]

Because sometimes I'm like eating something and I'm like, oh, what am I going to like if I rice and like ground beef and stuff. Are you gonna have, are you gonna have a fork or a spoon?

[Zayn]

I like to eat with a spoon with everything except for soup.

[Matt]

What like you say you're having a fork eating.

[Zayn]

I like to eat everything with a fork when it comes to like meals except for soup.

[Matt]

I think you said it the other way.

[Zayn]

Oh, what did I say?

[Heath]

You said you like to eat everything.

[Matt]

With a spoon except soup.

[Zayn]

I'm like, oh, so what are we doing?

[Matt]

Just go put it.

[Zayn]

You know what's crazy? Because I did not even like, I would have, I would have bet a million dollars right now that I never said the word spoon. That's so crazy.

[Heath]

Mariah takes her silverware very seriously.

[Zayn]

Mariah?

[Heath]

Yeah, she's like, she's on silverware TikTok where people like show off their forks and spoons.

[Zayn]

Oh, does she have the briefcase where.

[Heath]

They, like, rate it. Like, thoughts on, like, the design, the thickness, the weight of it.

[Matt]

Oh.

[Heath]

Apparently it's like, a thing some people get, like, fixated on.

[Matt]

Oh, Patricia is always, like, buying new ones, too. That I'm like. And apparently the popular ones right now look like damn, you know, camping utensils.

[Heath]

Okay. Three prong. The. Or the. Or the four.

[Matt]

Four. Three is only for fish.

[Heath]

Threes for fish.

[Matt]

Threes for fish. And the way you remember it is you. It's like a triton. Like, you know.

[Heath]

Okay.

[Zayn]

Why?

[Matt]

Why? Because I think it's just a better way of, like, cutting it. Because fish is a little bit more delicate of a meat, I guess.

[Zayn]

And so that's horseshit.

[Matt]

I believe Is for fish. I believe that is that.

[Zayn]

This. This a bunch of baloney. This is. So this is literally only for the top 1%.

[Heath]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt]

Like a fish. Oh. See, that fish fork has four. So.

[Zayn]

And the three prong says it's a cake fork.

[Matt]

Well, what the do I know?

[Zayn]

I could cut my fist just fine with a fork.

[Heath]

I want. I want 10 prong if I'm eating cake. Give me that ratio. I'm not taking baby bites. No, we're shoveling.

[Zayn]

Oh, you know, Heath, A spork ice.

[Heath]

Cream cake, my man.

[Matt]

Okay, spork. Why do we even need the. The orc in it if you have an ice cream cake?

[Zayn]

A spork.

[Matt]

Yeah, I know, exactly.

[Zayn]

Because we're clawing ice cream cake. Yes. Yes, because you want to claw and then scoop the ice cream. He knows what I'm talking about. Basket robin cakes for our birthday. Every time, every year.

[Heath]

They're the best.

[Zayn]

Me carving fork. That's dumb. Like, it's like.

[Matt]

What?

[Zayn]

Why are we curving the prongs out? That's not helping. Grab the meat at all.

[Matt]

What?

[Heath]

That is interesting design.

[Zayn]

That's eat the rich. You know what I mean? Eat the rich.

[Matt]

You know what I hate? I hate saucer. Wait, what is it called? Saucers?

[Heath]

No, for under a. Under a cup.

[Zayn]

Under. No, under a plate. It's like the plate, and then you put the plate on top of it.

[Matt]

No, that's. Is that what it's called? It's not a saucer. It's a charger.

[Heath]

The charger chargers are just the decorative thing underneath.

[Matt]

Yes. I hate.

[Zayn]

Why is it called a charger? That's the worst fucking word.

[Matt]

I hate the name of it. And also, when you go. It never is used, though. You put, like, the plate on top of the charger. The charger is like a Decorative backdrop for the plate in fine china. Yeah, but. But then you also get, like.

[Heath]

Some people get really serious, like, with, like, when they're doing their weddings on what the Chargers are going to be like.

[Matt]

It's a big deal and it does make a difference. It does enhance the look of a dinner. But I saw some tick tock of a girl who was, like, eating at her family's house and she. She picked up the charger and I saw that exactly off of it. And everyone'. You're eating off the charger. But it was just like.

[Zayn]

The comments are just like white people. How is everybody freaking out about this?

[Heath]

Zayn? I just saw something and it just made me realize who I am. So it's. It's like a. Like a paper plate. Right? But I hate throwing away paper plates because you, like, rip through them. But then also I'm like, I don't want to do, like, the dishes.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

It's got a paper rip top and you reuse the same thing, but you just rip off the sheet and throw that away. And it's just like a. Never, like a stack.

[Zayn]

Wait, are you a plate?

[Matt]

Wait, a paper plate?

[Zayn]

A paper.

[Heath]

Yeah, it's like a. It's like a plate.

[Zayn]

That can't be good.

[Heath]

It's got, like, 50 sheets of paper on top of it.

[Zayn]

But think about the first layer. Heath. It's gonna.

[Heath]

No, it's like. It's like a wax paper, so it doesn't, like, seep, you know, like.

[Matt]

Oh, okay, that's.

[Heath]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Zayn]

But you know what? I think that's great for, like, camping.

[Matt]

Yes. Yes. If you have more days on the road, like. Okay, I get the vibe. But the thing is, you can't heat that up, like, in the microwave, because I just. Even though I guess it's wax paper, but just like, you know when you.

[Heath]

Like, you, like, make a bagel real quick and you're like, I'm not going to go bust out, like, the china. And I'm also not going to dirty a paper plate because it's. I'm going to sit on it for, like, two seconds and then you're like, throw it away. But I'm like, all right. If I had this, just rip the top. Boom.

[Zayn]

Heath. A bagel would be paper towel. That's how I eat my bagels.

[Heath]

It's the same thing, but it's a little hot. It's a step above.

[Zayn]

You get a little bit of more support with it.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Matt]

I got a complaint, though, with paper plates. These days it's the standard white paper plate bits I like. But the moment they start adding those fucking designs on them where it looks.

[Zayn]

What is wrong with it?

[Matt]

Because they don't look. Well then make them look like fine china. Don't make them look like a damn tampon wrapper or a fucking Kleenex box. Like it's so. It's this whimsy ass. You know what I'm talking about?

[Zayn]

You know why it looks like that? Because think about the. The most times you use a paper plate. Drink picnics. So they're gonna make it look like a garden.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Matt]

But it looks to me it. It never looks. Looks like tampon rapper.

[Zayn]

You're that, that. You're right. You're right on that. But they do have, they do have those fancy ones.

[Heath]

He.

[Zayn]

You know what I'm talking about. Like the off white ones.

[Matt]

Yes. Where it's like there are nicer ones out there. But the moment I show up at a party and you got these tampon wrapper plates.

[Zayn]

But you know what? Don't call them designer paper plates. Don't do that.

[Matt]

Yes.

[Zayn]

That's. You're lying. These are off brand paper plates. You gotta get the word designer off it. That's just.

[Matt]

I like the ones that are like borderline cardboard. Like, you know, it's like there is some.

[Heath]

I want my sauce to seep into it. It's soggy.

[Matt]

Oh.

[Zayn]

Like I was cutting my chicken yesterday. It went right through the plate. Oh, and I got the strong double decker plate. Like, you know, like the thick one you pay extra for. Like the thick one. It went right through.

[Matt]

Are you throwing up right now?

[Heath]

Oh my God.

[Matt]

Did you just throw up in your mouth?

[Zayn]

Because I drank this really quick.

[Matt]

I. Oh, and just. You burped or like you were speaking at the same time. Just. Sorry. Vocalize.

[Zayn]

Yeah, I'm just. Sorry. I'm just like so pissed about these paper plates.

[Heath]

I will say though, the silver. Silverware, the fake plastic ones where they make it look like it's real.

[Zayn]

Yes.

[Heath]

It helps sometimes it does. I agree it helps. It helps in certain situations. What I do not agree with is clear. You eat Mac and cheese on a clear fork. I'm throwing up. Up after the second bite. If I bite it and I see Mac and cheese still on a clear.

[Matt]

Fork or a spoon. Yeah, because you're seeing all the mix ins of everything that you've like dipped the fork into. And like the bottom part of it is this whole groove and canal that's just capturing other food. Why a Normal fork doesn't have this.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Matt]

The support of just.

[Zayn]

You're sitting there trying to clean off the clear fork and you're going, you're going. And then you want to eat it with. To like eat your cake.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

In it.

[Matt]

No.

[Heath]

Ban. All clear silverware. Ban it.

[Zayn]

Do you remember my birthday like four years ago?

[Matt]

Do you remember my birthday?

[Ad Host]

Like four?

[Zayn]

What is it?

[Matt]

Four?

[Zayn]

No, it was like, oh, my God. I think it was before COVID So it was, I think six, seven years ago, but it feels like four. We went to, we went to this Korean, it was like a Korean barbecue restaurant.

[Matt]

Do you remember that?

[Zayn]

What reminds me was, remember when they brought the pitcher of water with all the cups? It was cute. You thought there were yellow cups and you look closely, they're clear. Oh, but they turned yellow.

[Heath]

It was bad.

[Zayn]

And we're sitting there like, oh, we gotta, we gotta, we gotta check that bad. We need the bill.

[Heath]

We gotta go.

[Zayn]

January is that fresh battery moment and you start new routines and a time when we recommit to good habits that support our health. And naturally we start looking at what can help us improve faster, including supplements. That's why it's honestly so important to trust what you're taking, because not every brand is playing by the same rules. But choosing the right supplements can be confusing. And it doesn't help that the supplement industry itself often has a bad reputation. It's slightly regulated and some products don't even have to list everything on the label. Crazy. And that's why we partnered with Momentous. They've built a reputation as the high trust option in a low trust space. And they've set their own bar very high by creating the Momentous standard by doing things the right way, not the easy way. They use serious ingredients like whey from grass fed European dairy cows, creatine made from the purest form of creatine monohydrate, and formulas built on clinical, clinically backed bioavailable nutrients with no fillers and or artificial sweeteners. But what truly sets Momentous apart is their testing and transparency. Every product is independently certified by NSF for sport or informed sport and verified for label accuracy. So you know what you're putting in your body. And if it doesn't meet their standard, it doesn't ship. If you want supplements you can truly rely on this year, Momentous is it. Right now, Momentous is offering our listeners up to 35 off your first order with promo code Zane Heat. Heath, head to livemomentous.com and use promo code Zane Heath for up to 35 off your first order. That's live. Momentous.com promo code. Zane Heath. Thank you, Momentous, for sponsoring this podcast. We love you. My favorite is seeing videos of people's cooking. And all the comments like, this is why I don't eat at other people's houses. Which is so true. There's, like. You just see one thing, just like the crumble. I mean, crumble, man. They're pr, man. They're probably working overnight, working overtime. The. Did you see the. The picture of the girl with her soc offer shoe? She was, like, pretty much just like, standing like this behind the crumble counter. And her feet are on the. The trays.

[Heath]

No.

[Zayn]

Where you make the cookies. And everyone's like, this is nasty, dude. But it went viral. Literally, dude. So many people saw this picture with this. Yeah.

[Matt]

Oh, no. Ew.

[Heath]

In the. Coming out of the croc, you're doing.

[Zayn]

This so in the open, not even being discreet or hidden about it. It that, like, you always. Because, like, when you go into a place of business of where you're serving food, immediately in your head you're like, I trust this place. Of course I trust this place. Crumble, how big they are. I trust this place. And then you see that you're like, oh, God.

[Matt]

Yeah. They just need to lock in on their customer service or just maintaining a good sense of etiquette. That's the thing is, like, when you have, like, a food establishment and you. And you get so big, it just increases the chance that something like this is bound to happen. But if you're known as a place, like Chick Fil A that has, like, rigorous, you know, interview process, and they're really trying to find the best candidates and, like, yeah. Commit to the code of conduct.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Of being an employee. It's like, yep. They gotta work with hr.

[Zayn]

They should come up with an athlete's foot flavor.

[Matt]

Like, I mean, this ain't salt and straw.

[Zayn]

They should. They should lean in on this. They should. Oh, and by the way, when I saw this, I was like. I mean, the. The sock on the tray in my head is like, how they allow their workers to wear Crocs.

[Matt]

Yeah. That seems every day for work.

[Zayn]

That seems not a lot at all. Wearing Fuck your. And you know, she has it on slipper mode.

[Heath]

Yeah. She's got the heel pulled.

[Matt]

That's not safe. That's not safe.

[Zayn]

It's not safe.

[Matt]

So there's multiple violations. Yeah.

[Zayn]

Multiple things wrong in that picture.

[Heath]

That just kind of ruined crumble for me.

[Zayn]

Oh, you love Crumble. I forgot.

[Matt]

Do you guys hear Gen Z is like, has a new name for like the millennial Karen. Like our generation.

[Zayn]

Jennifer or Ashley?

[Matt]

What was it?

[Zayn]

Rebecca.

[Matt]

Good guesses. Heath, do you have a guess on who they think? Like the name for Karen from the millennial generation is.

[Zayn]

I saw it.

[Heath]

I forgot. You. What did you. What'd you guess? You said Jennifer.

[Zayn]

What were the three? I said they're close. You said Jennifer, Rebecca and Ashley. Yeah.

[Matt]

Good guesses.

[Zayn]

It's close. It's around that world teeth. Because I. I saw the video. I just forget the name.

[Heath]

Does it start with K? Did they try to keep it in that?

[Matt]

No, it does not start with and. Let's just say Zane already said the first letter.

[Heath]

Is it. Is it Jennifer or. Sorry, Jenna. Not Jennifer.

[Zayn]

No, no, no, no, no, no. It's more.

[Matt]

It's more common, Warren. But you're on the Jays.

[Heath]

Jenny.

[Matt]

No.

[Heath]

Jessica.

[Matt]

Yes. Which I'm a little conflicted about.

[Zayn]

I don't like that.

[Matt]

Jessica's are usually nice girls. I did not know. I mean, Jessica growing up, Jessica is.

[Zayn]

I think I like Jessica.

[Ad Host]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Jessica Ashley is more of a Karen name.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Matt]

I think for our generation, though I know plenty of Ashley's. There's lovely Ashley's out there. Yeah, but because Ashley was always like. Remember recess? The show recess? Yeah. Remember there's a bunch of like Ashley's and like they're like really mean and they're like the bossy mean girls of like the whole elementary school. I always feel like that's a little synonymous.

[Zayn]

Yeah, I'm not a big fan of that. I don't think that word's gonna carry, you know, I think it's just a trend. It's gonna go away. They'll come up with a new one.

[Matt]

But.

[Heath]

But it does sound good where you're like, okay, Jessica. Like it's got. It's. It's the multiple syllables that really like gets it.

[Zayn]

Okay.

[Heath]

Jessica.

[Zayn]

That name to me reminds me of something else more like Jessica.

[Matt]

What?

[Zayn]

Like, where's that, like that line?

[Heath]

It's me.

[Matt]

It's me, Jessica from Hot Girl With Jessica, though.

[Zayn]

It's me, Jessica.

[Matt]

Yes. No, he goes. Boys are cheats and liars. They are a disgrace. They will sell you anything to get to second. Baseball. Baseball. He thinks he's gonna score.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Matt]

If you just do something with him then you think people think you're a horticulture. Study beetles. Geologists. Study rocks. All guys want very cool. For you to suck their. That cockroaches, Beatles, the dancing bear. Named Chuck, man.

[Zayn]

What do you call it? Great movie, by the way.

[Matt]

Hot chick.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Rachel McAdams, too, in that pre Mean girls. That was.

[Zayn]

That was like her before became a star. Yeah.

[Matt]

Ling Ling, you forgot your bling bling. You forgot your bling bling.

[Zayn]

I was just thinking about that. That line specifically a few days ago.

[Matt]

Do you know the name Jessica? I feel like we talked about this in the past. Do you remember baby Jessica? Baby Jessica was a baby in like the early 90s, I believe, out in Texas or Oklahoma. And she fell into a well in her backyard.

[Heath]

That sounds familiar.

[Matt]

And the whole nation was watching this, like, unfold, and they're thinking about the movie the Ring. So maybe could we just go to the Wikipedia page just really quick so I get the context? So. Yes. So this happened in, I think Midland, Texas, and this was in 19, like 87. So she was 18 months old and she was in there for 58 hours. And the rescue team, like, had to basically drill a hole and rescue her. She got to meet the president and everything.

[Zayn]

But wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This baby, she was 18 months old, fell in a well?

[Matt]

Yes. Like a pipe.

[Zayn]

Not like it wasn't underwater.

[Matt]

No, it's like. It's not. You're thinking of like a very traditional. Like.

[Zayn]

Can you look it up?

[Matt]

Yeah, look up the images like the. Of baby Jessica. And I think there's kind of like a diagram. It's like a PVC pipe almost that I feel like went down.

[Heath]

It's like a tube. More like that. It's not. It's not thick like a big hole.

[Matt]

Not like a wishing well. Like it was like an 8 inch. 8 inch diameter. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, it was like a PVC pipe like that.

[Zayn]

Can you replace Baby Jessica with Zayn and see what comes up?

[Heath]

Zayn, your big ass head wouldn't have fit in that well, but you wouldn't have got stuck.

[Matt]

So they had to dig another well next to it that was just as deep and then had to, like, dig up into where she was to retrieve her. And I mean, this is when the whole world was praying for baby Jason.

[Zayn]

No, this is like, I feel like this is a movie that's insane.

[Matt]

And that because of that and everyone just felt like Jessica was just this answer to everyone's prayers that she lived. A lot of people started naming their kids Jess Jessica.

[Zayn]

Wow.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

I have a feeling the movie the Ring was based off this story.

[Matt]

Right, Right. I mean, I think could have been inspired.

[Zayn]

It was probably inspired. Sorry. Inspired. That's What I meant inspired.

[Matt]

But the Ring was based on a Japanese horror novel. Oh. Oh, yes.

[Zayn]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Heath]

But that novel was Jessica.

[Matt]

But it came. But it came out. The book kind of came out before.

[Zayn]

It came out after two years.

[Heath]

After.

[Matt]

Four years after. Well, dang.

[Zayn]

Four years after.

[Matt]

Okay. Kuji Suzuki.

[Zayn]

Oh, that's his name.

[Matt]

Kojai Suzuki. I'm not just.

[Zayn]

Oh, I. I watched. I got to go to the. The early screening of the night of the new Game of Thrones show.

[Heath]

I saw you posted that.

[Zayn]

Dude, that came out of nowhere. Because in my head, it wasn't coming out for another few months.

[Heath]

When I saw that, I was like, how did Zayn not tell me that it was going to be coming out, like, soon?

[Zayn]

It's because I didn't. I didn't know until I got the. Until I got the invitation, like, just.

[Heath]

A few days before.

[Zayn]

Well, the whole thing was just a screening. So we went to a movie theater. They didn't do it, like, okay, red carpet premiere or anything special like that. It was more.

[Heath]

Oh, you just, like, watched, like, the first episode.

[Zayn]

It was kind of like an activation. They played actually the first two episodes, but I left after the first one because me and Daniel, we were really tired.

[Matt]

Oh, that happens. That happens.

[Zayn]

Exhausted. And we're in our head. We're just like. We got to watch the first one. Let's just. We'll be able to get excited for the second one because they only have six episodes this season.

[Heath]

Oh, no.

[Zayn]

And the episodes are shorter. They're only like 30 to 45 minutes.

[Matt]

Oh.

[Zayn]

Which. I had no idea. I should have done more research on it, but I. I saw everything came to a surprise when I watched it. They're like novellas, so they're just, like, short. Short kind of stories.

[Matt]

Are these George R.R. martin's stories? Like, did he put these out as books at all?

[Zayn]

I'm pretty sure they're in the. In his books, but I think they're maybe more. All right. Tales of Duncan Egg is a series of prequel novellas set in the world of Song on Ice and Fire, following the adventures of the hedge knight, Sir Duncan the Tall, and his squire.

[Matt]

Okay, so it's in the universe. It's like a Mandalorian kind of stuff or, like, similar to Star Wars.

[Zayn]

I really. I really enjoyed it. It was cute, too. I feel like. I feel like more people would enjoy this one. Did it if they like more kind of. What's the word?

[Matt]

It's more comedic.

[Zayn]

It's more comedic, which is really interesting. I like it. Was a fun route to attempt.

[Heath]

Okay.

[Zayn]

And they kind of like. I feel like they execute. After the first episode, I was like, oh, I can't wait for the next five.

[Matt]

Cool.

[Zayn]

Where it goes. But, yeah, you guys know me. I'm a big Game of Thrones fan. Anything Game of Thrones related comes out, I'm excited, and I just hope for the best every time. It was. It was good and nice.

[Matt]

I heard that they'd been. They've been trying to, like, rebrand the Vegas hotel Excalibur to be more Game of Thronesy. Unless I think they're gonna do that.

[Heath]

They need to go all out, because that is so phony and just.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Tacky.

[Matt]

Yeah. It's so Fisher Price looking.

[Zayn]

It's so crazy because they could. And it would look insane.

[Matt]

Oh, yeah, they could.

[Zayn]

That would bring in. That would, like, the. The. Like the amount of the rebirth I would have where everybody around the world would want to come just stay at that hotel. They could really do something insane. Especially with how much money Vegas has. I know they're always building new hotels. They're always even renovating, though. They're always like, how can we make this? Let's put $10 million in this.

[Matt]

Like, they can make such a financial risk building Vegas hotels. Like, they'll spend billions to build one. And then it's like, they don't make, like, enough in the year to pay off off what they thought they were going to make.

[Zayn]

I think they just need to execute the look, though. I think if they imagine they made that place look like, yeah, you got.

[Heath]

To do it, right?

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Matt]

But I don't know if that is confirmed or where it was, but I know that it's been tossed around a lot on what they could do with the hotel.

[Zayn]

Literally, every. Everything that comes out of my mouth, I cannot confirm or deny that I should just say that every line I. Comes out of my mouth.

[Heath]

Allegedly.

[Zayn]

Allegedly. All right, everyone. The new year is basically the universe's way of handing us a do over. If you've been sitting on a business idea, maybe you have a skill people keep telling you to monetize. Well, this is your sign. January is almost over, so don't let February show up with the same old, I'm going to start next month bs. The most powerful move you can make right now is to actually turn that dream into your 2026 reality, which is starting your business with Shopify. Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person, all in one place. And you're not alone. Millions of entrepreneurs have already taken the leap from massive household name to first time business owners. Literally starting from their kitchen table, Shopify makes building your store super easy. Pick from hundreds of beautiful templates and customize them to match your brand. Setup is fast with built in AI tools that can write product descriptions and headlines plus help edit your product photos. Marketing is built in to create email and social campaigns that reach customers wherever they scroll. And as you grow, Shopify grows with you. More orders, new markets, same dashboard. So get a jump on your competition and Start now in 2026. Stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial. Start selling today at shopify.com unfiltered. Go to shopify.com unfiltered one more time so you don't forget. That's shopify.com unfiltered Hear your first this new year with Shopify by your side. Thank you Shopify for sponsoring this podcast.

[Matt]

There was some guy who also posted like on TikTok. I saw that they're trying to make like a new theme park in Vegas and I think it's called like Retro Land and that all the different, like, you know, parts of the park and the themes of it are different decades. So there's like a 50s section, there's a 60s section, there's a 70s and stuff. Retro escapes. And now I don't know like how legit it is because the guy who was like talking about it, I was like, I thought one, it was a news coverage of it, but it just seems like the guy who has the idea and it's him and his dad who are doing it, seems like it could happen, seems like it might not. But I love the idea of it.

[Zayn]

I'm all for theme parks. They're, they're my favorite. And I hope that I can still continue to ride them when I'm like 50, 60. Because a lot of older people, they can't ride roller coasters anymore because it's, it's like too much for their body. That's why, that's why I'm still training. I work out a lot. I try to live the best I can just so I can still ride roller coasters with my grandkids.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

And when are we going to have grandkids? When I'm 90.

[Heath]

You were saying like 50 years old with grandkids. I'm like, you got to start now. You got to start 10 years ago.

[Zayn]

Dude. Oh my God. Imagine, imagine like Grandpa, but he's 110.

[Matt]

It's possible. Zane yeah, you never know.

[Zayn]

Crazy. I think. Why do I think I'm going to look so young when I'm 110? 10. I'd be like, oh, when you're 110, I wonder how long. Because back then people were dying earlier. Right. Aren't we living longer now? Or is it the opposite now?

[Matt]

I guess you could say that we're living longer.

[Zayn]

Our generation is living longer than.

[Matt]

I don't know. There's like. There's so much data on that.

[Zayn]

But also our food is getting a lot worse. So I feel like it's maybe not.

[Matt]

I mean, I'm always keeping up with that Brian Johnson guy, even though he's kind of like, crazy. I love just seeing what he's doing.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Matt]

All the studies.

[Zayn]

I'm glad someone's doing it.

[Ad Host]

Yeah.

[Matt]

You know what I mean? Exactly. And he's so. And he's just tweeting it out all the time. All of his discoveries. Everything's like, I guess scientifically backed up of what he conducted.

[Zayn]

Just like, don't make me have to do any. Like, people get pissed. Like, he's making everybody do something.

[Heath]

Well, now he's selling stuff. And I'm like, damn, what a good lead up. Because, like, now I'm like, this is. This is our guy. To know what we should.

[Zayn]

Because if anyone's gonna be like super health conscious about any product he's putting his body, it's gonna be him.

[Matt]

Just what if he snaps though one day and it's just like, give me some Coors Light. Like, I'm done. This is just. Guys, I'm done.

[Zayn]

Just imagine like a paparazzi picture of him just like chugging, smoking a cigarette, just ripping.

[Matt]

Sick.

[Zayn]

Taking a Jaeger bomb.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

I think a Jaeger bomb would genuinely kill him.

[Heath]

Yeah. He would probably have a heart down.

[Zayn]

That's like. It's like literally acid in his body.

[Matt]

He's gotta commit. Gotta commit. That's nice. Is extra virgin olive oil. He calls it snake oil. Brilliant. That's funny. Brilliant.

[Zayn]

Can you just imagine people back then not having proper, like, dental care?

[Matt]

Oh, yeah.

[Zayn]

And having to deal with just like a cavity.

[Matt]

Oh, yeah.

[Zayn]

And like, it just hurts. And the only thing you can do to make it stop hurting, the fucking teeth.

[Matt]

Oh.

[Zayn]

Like, oh, my God. Imagine living in that time.

[Matt]

Oh, I bet it gets to a point where the pain is so bad you're just like, pull it out. Let's go. I can't deal with the pain. Because that happens like in Castaway, right?

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Tom Hanks, like, The ice skate. And just.

[Heath]

Oh.

[Matt]

Ow.

[Heath]

Wait, where did he get an ice skate from?

[Matt]

It was because he was on one of the FedEx planes. And so it was a commercial FedEx plane. He worked for FedEx. And when the plane crashed, a bunch of people's stuff they were shipping. So that's where he got the ice skate.

[Heath]

You know, I haven't seen it in so long, I need to rewatch it because I remember back in the day watching it being like, oh, that was fun.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

But I don't remember anything.

[Matt]

There's hardly, like any dialogue in.

[Heath]

Did he get off the island? Did he get safe?

[Matt]

He gets off. He's on it for four years and he keeps one package. One of them.

[Heath]

And unopened.

[Matt]

Unopened. And he delivered. Well, I don't want, like, spoil, I guess, the ending, but.

[Zayn]

Oh, please don't. Yeah, I just.

[Matt]

But that's what, like the. The one package. I don't know. Go see it, Wilson.

[Heath]

That's all I remember. The ball.

[Zayn]

I've actually. I've actually never seen it.

[Matt]

Oh, my gosh. Cast away. Oh, it's brilliant.

[Zayn]

I mean, I. I know the. I like, I've seen that ball so many times, but, yeah, I've never seen the movie.

[Matt]

I remember it scared me as a kid a little bit, being on an island by yourself.

[Zayn]

You know what? There are too many plane crash movies. Like, there's too many plane crash scenes in shows and movies. It's terrifying. Stop doing it.

[Heath]

That was another thing growing up, you thought would actually happen.

[Matt]

Being stranded on an island.

[Heath]

Break dance battles and, like, getting stuck on island. Yes.

[Matt]

Oh, break dance battles all day. I thought that's what I'd be doing.

[Zayn]

Like, where, though? Where though, Heath?

[Heath]

What?

[Zayn]

Where?

[Matt]

Like the break dance battles. Anywhere.

[Heath]

Anywhere.

[Matt]

It's just warehouses with chain link fences.

[Zayn]

Fences, yes. With the water dripping down.

[Matt]

Yes.

[Zayn]

Why was there always water falling from a pipe?

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

Oh, like, who is outside?

[Heath]

Leaky pipes.

[Matt]

You got served. Oh, is the best. Like, you got served one, you got served two. The one with, like, Lil Kim is in it and they're like, how do you like it? She goes, you know how I like it, baby. Straight hood.

[Zayn]

Did you know Jason, like, I think a year and a half or two years ago, he was on a flight and next to him it was Lil Kim.

[Heath]

That was me.

[Zayn]

What?

[Matt]

That was me.

[Zayn]

That was you?

[Heath]

Oh. I mean, maybe I was on a flight with Jason, but yeah, she was like.

[Zayn]

I think it was the both of you then.

[Heath]

Yeah, yeah. She was like a couple seats over.

[Matt]

That'S what Lil Kim looks like now. Oh, my.

[Zayn]

I would have never. I. I didn't know. I. I think I truly never knew what Lil Kim looked like until you guys told me you were with her that day. And I had to look her up. I was like. Because I actually don't know what she looks like.

[Heath]

Didn't she, like, do something that, like, ended her career? She got up on stage and started dancing.

[Matt]

No, no, that was lip gloss.

[Zayn]

That was Little Mama.

[Heath]

Little Mama. That was so awkward. Oh, my.

[Matt]

Yeah, it was at, like, the VMAs. You know, Alicia Keys and Jay Z are singing New York, and. And Lil Mama just felt the need to get up on stage and join them. And she, like, poses at the end. Beyonce's even like, girl, do not get up in the middle of that.

[Zayn]

Don't do that. Adult.

[Matt]

And you can see Jay Z and Alicia Keys, like, look at her going.

[Zayn]

What are you doing up here?

[Matt]

Look, just.

[Zayn]

Oh, you like? It looks like she literally took, like, she was doing bumps all night, and she was just like, I'm gonna make history.

[Heath]

And it's just Zayn. That's me, when I'm doing karaoke night.

[Zayn]

And you're like, you just got to.

[Heath]

Get up there and hype me up. You're just like.

[Zayn]

This looks like she was AI In.

[Matt]

She should have brought some friends with her on that stage is the only thing she could have done. She just like.

[Heath]

Or she thought she was starting something and more people were gonna come.

[Matt]

Yes, yes. She thought it was gonna be this we are the world, like, type situation.

[Zayn]

You thought that she was trying to start something like that?

[Matt]

Yeah, I think. Yeah. That's what, like, came over her. She goes, I'm from New York. I should be up on stage, like, dancing with them.

[Zayn]

That's crazy, you know, because I really saw a future in her. Her. Her shit was bumping. I loved her music, and so a lot of her. And, dude, she has, like, a look of, like, she. She's gonna be big, too. Like, there's something about daughter. And then she did that, and we never saw her again because that lip gloss song still hits.

[Matt]

What you know about me?

[Zayn]

What you. What you know about me?

[Matt]

And it's like they have, like, lockers, like, banging in it.

[Zayn]

Like, this dance, too. This is why I do that dance. Like, boom, boom.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Hey, crisscross it up.

[Matt]

Yeah. What you know about me? What happened to a girl fight? Remember Brooke Valentine? There's about to be a girl fight at. You don't remember that?

[Zayn]

No. A guy does A guy sing that.

[Matt]

We about to say a name. There's about to be a girl fight.

[Heath]

Hey.

[Matt]

Oh, I thought that song went hard.

[Zayn]

I've never heard of this girl.

[Matt]

I don't know. It just popped in my head.

[Zayn]

Brooke. Valentin.

[Heath]

I just hope Nelly's out there doing well.

[Matt]

I think so. I think he got himself out of debt.

[Zayn]

I think he's doing well. And wasn't he in the super bowl halftime show like, a few years ago?

[Matt]

He was, Zane. He was. He was, Was.

[Zayn]

He's doing good. I mean, I think it was.

[Heath]

Aren't they doing. Excuse me. Aren't they doing a bunch of people now for halftime this year?

[Zayn]

No, it's just bad Bunny.

[Heath]

Oh, I heard that bad bunny's bringing pork. 24 karat magic. What's his name?

[Matt]

Oh, Bruno Mars.

[Zayn]

Is he Puerto Rican?

[Matt]

Bruno Mars? I think Porto Mars is Filipino.

[Zayn]

Oh, I don't know, because I thought Bad Bunny was doing a whole Puerto Rican like thing.

[Heath]

Oh, yeah, And I heard daddy. Daddy. Wait, what is it?

[Matt]

Daddy Yankee.

[Heath]

Yankee, Yeah, I heard daddy Yankee.

[Matt]

Oh, and Jay Balvin. Oh, oh, he won't be attending, but daddy Yankee. Azuna. A bunch of reggaeton. It seems like there's always surprise guests and stuff. They got up their sleeves.

[Zayn]

Yeah, yeah. They always do have surprise guests, right? Like guests that nobody knows about yet every show.

[Matt]

Sometimes I think, but 24 hours, people really start knowing who's going to be there after all the sound checks and happens, but you never know.

[Heath]

Bruno Mars is weird, man. But that guy's got some hit. He's so good.

[Zayn]

He really is. He's someone where I, like, get annoyed hearing, but then it's like, you can't help it. It's just too, too good. How short is he?

[Matt]

By five. By five. He's Hawaiian. He's Hawaiian. I take it all back. Part of me. I said he was Filipino Hawaiian.

[Zayn]

Oh, Hawaiian. Oh, I would have never guessed Hawaiian.

[Heath]

And I'd be seeing, like, videos of him when he was a little. Little kid.

[Matt]

Oh, yeah. Performing Michael Jackson, like, concert rude. You know, like impression concerts and stuff. He would. Yeah, it's really crazy.

[Heath]

He was born to be a star, though.

[Zayn]

Wait, why are they putting his face next to Michael Jackson? Oh, because he was he or.

[Matt]

Yeah, he would do, like, Elvis impressions and stuff like that.

[Heath]

Look at him there.

[Zayn]

Wait, that's a great costume. They do kind of look like each other. They do. They look like cousins.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

New segment. What the hell is happening at Heath and I's old high school? South Plantation high school. This Popped up on my feed. I was like, oh, you got to be kidding me. There's another thing that happened. Allegedly. I'm saying allegedly because I literally. I forgot what this video was because I had it saved a couple weeks ago, but a teacher was accused of carrying a romantic relationship with a student, which is not surprising. And.

[Heath]

Oh, they were doing it when we were in school.

[Zayn]

They were doing it when we were in school. They had security guards fornicating with the students in the.

[Heath]

And. And moving.

[Zayn]

And what?

[Heath]

Kilos. And moving. Kilos. Moving kilos.

[Zayn]

Drugs.

[Matt]

Drugs.

[Zayn]

We literally. Our school was literally narcos.

[Matt]

Hold on. They were trafficking drugs in your.

[Heath]

He got busted.

[Zayn]

Yeah, he.

[Matt]

He.

[Zayn]

He was doing it on the side, like, trafficking.

[Matt]

Who is he?

[Zayn]

And he also. The security guard.

[Heath]

Our security guard. Security.

[Matt]

Dealing to students.

[Zayn]

I don't know if he was dealing.

[Matt]

To students, but he could have played in school. He was involved in a drug ring or he was doing it.

[Zayn]

I doubt. I doubt kids were doing, like, hard drugs, like cocaine, like, that.

[Heath]

He was dealing to students. I would have known.

[Matt]

Trust me.

[Heath]

I would have been his biggest buyer.

[Zayn]

Was it not weed, though, Heath? It was, like, hard drugs, right?

[Heath]

It was cocaine.

[Zayn]

It was cocaine. Yeah.

[Matt]

Oh, what does it say? Okay, so in 2012, security. Oh, sorry.

[Heath]

It was Snell. That was his name.

[Matt]

Yeah. Right. So Thomas Snell, a security specialist employed at South Plantation High School since August of 2000, was arrested in May of 2012, charged with conspiracy to traffic cocaine. He and three other men were nabbed in a police sting operation in the Tampa area area while attempting to purchase a kilo of cocaine for $34,000. Oh, boy. Officer Snail getting that Snail.

[Zayn]

I mean, I know about that. I know six people in our high school that were definitely buying from him.

[Heath]

That's crazy. It was a year after we graduated. Oh, imagine if we were still there and it was going down.

[Zayn]

Oh, that's it, baby.

[Matt]

Cocaine is expensive. What do you want coke in high school for?

[Zayn]

Like, that's what I'm thinking for the SATs.

[Matt]

Like, what do you got to do?

[Zayn]

I think the only thing high schools were really doing was weed. I don't remember cocaine being a thing.

[Heath]

It was. It was not. It was not.

[Zayn]

It was not a thing.

[Heath]

No.

[Zayn]

Did we. Did we know about it, though?

[Heath]

It was one of those, like, I'll call it, like, a fantasy drug that, like, you know what it is, but, like, it was not, like, an accessible thing where people. You heard about, friends.

[Zayn]

How did. None of us. Nobody around us ever was like, I'm going to Bring coke to the.

[Matt]

Because I think high schoolers more are, like, are in that stage of, like, yo, let's just get faded. Let's just drown out all them noise and just, like, get a little high. They're not like, oh, my gosh, are you guys. Are you going to chess club after this? Like, what do you. What are you getting pepped up about? Like, in high school on coke.

[Heath]

Pep rallies.

[Matt]

Pep rallies. There you go.

[Zayn]

Yeah, we actually. I mean, we had enough energy in us, so I feel like we weren't even thinking about.

[Heath]

Yeah, it's more those, like, you. You're just trying to keep up type things.

[Zayn]

Yeah. If anything, that's why people did we. To slow them down a little bit because we were hyper diaper.

[Matt]

I feel like every kid's on Adderall now, so they're just like, we don't need Coke. Yeah, Adderall.

[Zayn]

Exactly.

[Heath]

That's so true.

[Matt]

So back so implantation right now, there's this teacher who's having an inappropriate relationship. We want to play this news clip.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Is this the kid or.

[Zayn]

No, no, no. He's just being interviewed.

[Matt]

Okay.

[News Reporter]

Kind of weird. I asked class.

[Zayn]

Oh, my God, those grills.

[News Reporter]

He's very awkward on the outside. South Plantation High School looks normal, but students here say this school day is everything but routine after a teacher arrest.

[Zayn]

This is just sad, like, for this.

[Heath]

To happen at my school, like, I feel like.

[Zayn]

I just feel bad.

[News Reporter]

Plantation police accused.

[Zayn]

They definitely have style.

[News Reporter]

Christopher George Santinelli of engaging in an inappropriate relationship with an adult student while being an authority figure at the school. I don't know. He was just kind of weird. I asked class.

[Zayn]

He.

[Ad Host]

He.

[News Reporter]

He's very awkward.

[Zayn]

Charged with one count being an authority figure, a school figure, soliciting, engaging in race, a romantic relationship with a student. They shave him down in prison.

[Heath]

Judge.

[News Reporter]

While some students expressed disappointment, many who knew him had a similar.

[Heath]

It's so weird seeing our school.

[News Reporter]

Every time I see him, he would just, like, close the blinds and close the window, like something was going on. Like, he gave me. Very secretive and creepy.

[Zayn]

He was overly nice to the girls he was given. Very secretive and creepy, say.

[News Reporter]

The student reported getting gifts and exchanging text messages, but also hungry, hugging, even being kissed by that teacher. No other contact was reported.

[Matt]

I'm just shocked because I've seen it.

[Heath]

On the news a lot, and I never thought it could happen here.

[News Reporter]

The arrest happened Thursday morning before classes began. In a message sent to families, the principal confirmed a teacher was taken into custody and said the individual has been reassigned Away from the school and students pending the case.

[Zayn]

Can you imagine that day in school? School, like, the conversations.

[Heath]

Everybody's talking about it.

[Zayn]

Everybody's talking about it. That's crazy. The fact that that shit's still going on.

[Matt]

Do you think, like, someone reported it or like she came forward and was like, this is inappropriate. I'm uncomfortable.

[Zayn]

Somebody reported. I think something got went a little too far and it was reported and.

[Matt]

They seized their phones and everything. And we're like, what's. What's this? She was an adult student though, right? That's what she said.

[Zayn]

Adult student.

[Matt]

And I think he was like, oh, I could really get away with this.

[Heath]

She's not. Call them an adult student.

[Zayn]

Yeah, I didn't like that.

[Heath]

I think they should not do that.

[Zayn]

Yeah, I think they should have maybe said eight. I think 18 is important because legality wise. But still. Yeah. Like, they didn't say adults.

[Heath]

They should have just kept like, no, it's still your student.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Like your high school student.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Not try to make it sound like down.

[Zayn]

They're like, yeah, they were like, trying to protect them a little bit with that. With that line.

[Matt]

I didn't like.

[Heath]

Huh.

[Matt]

Did you ever have any teachers who dated each other?

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

Yes. But it was very, like, they would, like, they would never bring it up. It was like, very like.

[Matt]

And you could get in trouble, though, if you, like, started gossiping about it. Like, I heard that.

[Zayn]

Like, what do you mean?

[Matt]

I. You never wanted to bring it. Like, we. I knew two history teachers in different grades that were dating and they were a cute couple. Wait.

[Zayn]

Oh, they started. They started dating.

[Matt]

Everyone always, like, knew they were dating. And then if. But if you ever brought it up, like, so. Or you and Ms. So and so, like, going on a date tonight, like, you would get, like, in trouble if you talk. Talked about it. But I don't know if they would punish you because of what you said. But, like, there were consequences.

[Zayn]

I think it was just. Why would there be a consequence for that?

[Matt]

Oh, like, do you think the school. I don't know it well, do you think anybody working in a workplace can have a romantic relationship?

[Zayn]

I think once the teacher says not to say it again, I think from there they can do.

[Heath]

Be respectful.

[Zayn]

Be respectful. Yeah. But I'm sure there is a policy. Not a policy, but I'm sure in the school, if teachers are our co workers and then they start dating after.

[Matt]

It'S a workplace romance.

[Zayn]

Yeah, it's. You have to go to hr, but I'm sure HR is telling them like, please do not let the students see you guys.

[Matt]

Yes.

[Heath]

Is it allowed in the workplace? Because I watched the Office and I'm like, everybody's dating.

[Matt]

You have to report it.

[Zayn]

You have to report it.

[Heath]

As long as you make it a known thing to hr, then yes, that's what it is.

[Zayn]

Yes.

[Matt]

Yes. I think if you're hiding it, then that means it's not being discussed, and therefore there could be conflicts of interest, and that's not disclosed to everybody around about it. There could be favoritism involved in all of it. So that's usually so. Yes. Teachers can generally date each other as they are adults, but it heavily depends on school district policies, power dynamics, such if it was a principal dating a teacher. Yeah, that can get a little dicey. I'd be pissed if I found out the principal of the school I work at is dating one of, like, my fellow teachers, you know?

[Zayn]

You're dating all of us?

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

You're dating all of us.

[Heath]

Take me out.

[Zayn]

Yeah, that's really. But I. I think I do remember Ms. Ms. Atlas. I bring her up. I bring her up a few times a year. I love this Atlas. I think she was dating a teacher when we were in school. I think it was like they went on a couple days or something, but, like, somebody found out about it and you were jealous. And I remember Miss Alice was just like, guy, stop it. And then that was it. But I remember there was something around that time where she went on date with the teacher.

[Matt]

Yeah. I feel like dating, though, is, like, more scandalous than just, like, if there was a married couple that had been married for years that are just both teachers out of school.

[Zayn]

Like, Mr. And Mrs. Dwarf daughter that. We had a mister.

[Heath]

They were so nice.

[Zayn]

That was. That was before. That was before they were married and then they worked at the school. So, like, everyone's, like, used to.

[Heath]

She was my sign language teacher.

[Zayn]

Oh, was she really? She did that in sign language. Was it science? She did science.

[Heath]

Oh, wait, no, sorry. She was not my sign language teacher. That Ms. Collins was my sign language teacher teacher. But her husband was also at the school.

[Zayn]

Yeah, just. If you're gonna go to South Plantation, you're gonna send your kids there. Be careful. We got some creeps in there. I think that's another reason why Heath is like, I am not putting my kid in a public school.

[Heath]

Oh, my God.

[Zayn]

It's just like another.

[Heath]

But honestly, I talked to my brother about it because my brother went to private school, and he was like, people. People give public school a bad rap. But then you go to private.

[Zayn]

Private's worse.

[Heath]

Private could be sometimes worse because, like, they have access to like, like other types of drugs. I know. And it's a lot of the kids who got whole.

[Matt]

It's a lot of the kids too, got kicked out of public school, and that's the only school that could take them. It depends on the private school, of course, but I remember so.

[Zayn]

And how do you think cocaine gets into public school? It starts in private.

[Heath]

It's a rich prep kids that are like.

[Zayn]

Because cocaine is what a rich people drug. So it starts in private and then it makes its way down to public schools.

[Heath]

Just say no to drugs.

[Zayn]

Exactly. They dare do the dare program. Do they still have the DARE program? Honestly, that's probably bigger than ever. The DARE program.

[Matt]

The name of it doesn't make sense to me. Yeah, well, it's. It's not like. It's just like dare.

[Heath]

It makes you want to do it.

[Matt]

Like take a hit.

[Zayn]

What was another. There was another. Another company that did it. It was dare. What was the other one? It was a five letter word.

[Matt]

Rise above it. Or like above the influence.

[Zayn]

Not that one. It was dots. It was like, oh, truth.

[Heath]

True.

[Matt]

No, that was a crazy world.

[Heath]

Smoking.

[Zayn]

Was it truth, Heath?

[Heath]

That was smoking?

[Matt]

Yeah, that was like anti cigarette smoking.

[Zayn]

No, there was. There was another one that was five letters with dots in between it. Like dare. I just.

[Heath]

No, but like, it's so weird looking back. The dare program, they made it seem like you try something once, you will be addicted for life. It's gonna ruin. Blah, blah, blah. Like, and you're like. I mean, is it as a kid? As a kid, you're terrified, Then you get older. Older. You do, and you're like, man, dare was so wrong. But then as you get even older and you like, stop doing stuff, you're like, holy. There was so like, you do. You're gonna think about it.

[Zayn]

But you. But you know what?

[Matt]

How else.

[Zayn]

How else are you gonna do it, though? I feel like that's the best way to do it. You have to scare these kids into.

[Matt]

Like, thinking that it's a psa.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Heath]

You know, straight.

[Zayn]

Scared Straight. Yeah, I'm. I'm all for it. I think. I think they should go a little harder on it.

[Heath]

What's crazy? Straight. You're like, oh, that's a up program to like do this thing or whatever. But that's then like, it's an even more up TV show. Like you're watching kids get. I'm surprised they filmed by going to It's a crazy thing to film.

[Zayn]

Yeah, crazy.

[Heath]

Kind of. It's kind of weird.

[Matt]

It's like.

[Zayn]

It's crazy thinking about what they used to film for whole TV shows. Like another one where I saw someone talking about. I'm like, it is really crazy that we filmed this. And it was another one.

[Heath]

To Catch a Predator. Who is watching To Catch a Predator?

[Zayn]

It was. It was good.

[Matt]

Oh, I watch it when it comes up.

[Zayn]

It was good.

[Heath]

But it's a. It's so. It's. I kind of.

[Zayn]

It's a kind of concept, I think. I think the only thing I really don't like is when they involve, like, actual kids in it. I thought that was crazy.

[Matt]

Like, having them as bait.

[Zayn]

They didn't need to do that.

[Matt]

Were they always kids, youthful adults being like, I'll be out? No.

[Zayn]

Well, no, they were kids.

[Matt]

Yeah. But they would bait them, like, in the kitchen, and then they would just like. They were never like.

[Zayn]

I know, I know. But still, I think it's like, they don't need to do that. That was only just to, like, enhance. Like, give the pedophile an extra, like, ounce of, like, feel good before life come.

[Heath]

Yeah. Like, because he walks out a second later, it's like he could have just been at the door.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Like, when he opens the door, I think that would.

[Zayn]

Do you think, maybe legal. Wait, do you think maybe legal or not legally, but, like, they wanted to catch him on camera? Seeing the kid and still staying there.

[Matt]

You know, confirms that, like, you weren't trying to meet. You were meeting someone.

[Zayn]

Imagine the kid came on, he's like, whoa, you as a viewer, you'd be like, wait, did he know that he was meeting up with a kid?

[Matt]

Do you.

[Heath]

Do you think there was other. To catch a predators catching other people trying to catch people? Like, where.

[Zayn]

It's like, what.

[Heath]

Like where you're acting as a kid.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Like, talk. Like, do you think, oh, wait, someone.

[Zayn]

Someone made. Someone made a. Someone made a video out of that. Like, it was like a. It was like a skit where somebody was trying to catch a pedophile. But the other person was also. And they got each other.

[Matt]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, they got each other and.

[Zayn]

And they both met up and they're like, what are you doing?

[Matt]

Someone has to be acting like a pedophile, though, for the meetup to happen, though, right? No. How.

[Heath]

No, no, no.

[Zayn]

You're not acting like. You're acting like a kid.

[Matt]

Yes. But some. Okay, but then who's the other person acting like the creep who's hitting on the kid.

[Zayn]

Wait, I don't know.

[Matt]

You know what I mean? Like, I think there's like a. Oh, wait.

[Heath]

I think it was like people trying to be two kids meeting. I don't know.

[Matt]

Maybe.

[Zayn]

Oh, I get it.

[Matt]

How comedically it could work, but I don't know how that would actually work.

[Zayn]

I think maybe, I think, I think it was differently. Not the way I said it. It was set up differently, but it. The. It ended like that where both of them, they're like, wait a second.

[Matt]

Oh, but I wonder, like those kids who were on the show to like, you know, bait them in. They're like, I'll be out in a minute. And then they go into the other room. They're like, they're like, high five. And like the film crew was like, were they. Was that good? They were like, great. You're like, okay. And they just get to sit there and like, listen to this person get arrested. What a gig that that is.

[Zayn]

That is like. But I don't know, like, as a parent, I don't think I would ever have my kid do something like that.

[Matt]

I think they were adults, though. I don't think that they were actual real kids.

[Zayn]

There was like, no way.

[Matt]

No, you would have a little. Like, you would have someone tiny who's like 18 years old.

[Zayn]

I think it, I think it went. It changed into that younger adults. But I swear there were kids on this.

[Heath]

I remember seeing Careful saying that.

[Zayn]

What?

[Matt]

No, okay, look. Okay, no, Catch a Predator did not use actual children. The show used adult actors, usually young women pretending to be minors in online chats and stuff. That's.

[Zayn]

Wait, okay, so they what? They weren't doing anything illegal, so. Oh, look at me. They met up with an adult. That's why I'm like, in my head, I was like, that's still like.

[Heath]

No, but they were saying they were. They were saying that they were underage and they went there.

[Zayn]

Yeah, I know.

[Matt]

Know.

[Zayn]

I'm just like, I love, I love playing both Z.

[Heath]

Is Zayn over here.

[Matt]

But I think they had to stop the show though, because I think someone like on a. On, on the live, like, I think. Well, it's.

[Heath]

No, it's like the guy from the. The Drive Thru.

[Zayn]

The what?

[Heath]

Did you see that? That was like maybe like a year ago. The guy went through a drive thru at like one of those. I don't know if it was like a bikini coffee shop. You know how they do those like pull up windows bikini.

[Zayn]

Oh, wait, I feel like he told us this already, but I forget the.

[Heath]

Guy like pulled up, up and like the person working there was like filming the guy and he pulled through the drive through with no pants on. Oh, and like filmed him. It went like crazy viral. And then he ended up taking his own life because of like the video. The video?

[Matt]

Yeah, I some.

[Zayn]

I've done it a couple times where I drive with no pants on.

[Heath]

You, you drive.

[Zayn]

What if you, what if he was in a hurry?

[Heath]

Butt naked?

[Zayn]

Oh, he was butt naked. Oh, you gotta say no underwear on, not no pin. Don't ban to me. Is boxers. Boxers.

[Heath]

No one's a whiz, no one's a wheels. Oh, that's.

[Zayn]

That's sickening.

[Heath]

Makes me sick.

[Zayn]

I know it's when you have too much caffeine, your head like is pounding. But I'm having like today I had only pre workout and my head's pounding.

[Matt]

Like it.

[Heath]

It genuinely hurts. Cold brews today. And four Krispy Kreme donuts. I think that's the only thing I've eaten.

[Zayn]

Oh my God. God. I. I know you're having a good day though.

[Matt]

Dad diet.

[Zayn]

I know you're having a good day.

[Heath]

No, it is so bad. I'm. I'm eating so bad.

[Zayn]

Yeah, I mean that you, you just had a kid, you know, relax, get back into it. Get back into it after summer.

[Heath]

But it's just like the one thing I want, you know, sue me.

[Matt]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zayn]

Who cares?

[Matt]

What do you want me to do?

[Heath]

I want a hamburger and I want Krispy Kremes.

[Zayn]

How's Mariah? How's Mariah doing? Is she like, good? Because I know she, she hate that she hated the belly when she was pregnant. Is she like.

[Heath]

She looks like she's back to normal.

[Zayn]

Oh, really?

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

Oh, wow.

[Heath]

Like, bounce back really quick. She's doing great.

[Matt]

Can she work out or like, do you have to take it easy after you give birth for like a certain like, bit just for your body to like recalibrate that we're no longer hosting a child in here and then.

[Heath]

Yeah, I think you're supposed to take it easy for a while.

[Zayn]

She's not going to take easy.

[Heath]

I mean, like, I'm sure you could, but like I couldn't even imagine like her trying to take the time right now to try to work out. Yeah, yeah, but everything's been great. He's been good. He's already a month old. I don't get it.

[Matt]

Wow, that is weird.

[Zayn]

Guys.

[Heath]

Over a month old.

[Zayn]

Heath. Heath and Mariah have the cutest video of Tony on their Phone. And you probably will never see it, but he. They send it to me and I watch. Watched it, like, I swear, like 50 times. I kept watching it over and over again. It was the cutest video ever.

[Heath]

He does, like, the little fake half. Like, little.

[Zayn]

Like, Danielle was next to me and she was like, why do you keep watching? Or what do you. What? She didn't know what I was watching was like, why you keep watching whatever you're watching? I was like, oh, it's Tony. I can't stop watching it. So cute. I've never met him and I love him to death.

[Heath]

You're gonna die when you meet him.

[Matt]

Oh, my God.

[Zayn]

And he's growing so quick, too. Like, he doesn't look.

[Matt]

Look like.

[Heath]

Yeah, he's already put on, like, over £2.

[Zayn]

Yeah, good. Yeah.

[Heath]

No, he's.

[Zayn]

He looks great. I'm. His eye. Like, is his eyes big or. Babies always have big eyes.

[Matt]

Because your eyes never change.

[Heath]

You're. You're born with your full size eyeballs.

[Zayn]

I know, but, like, I have a hard time, like, seeing that. Like, that's so crazy to me. That baby, like, the eyes don't grow as you grow.

[Matt]

Right.

[Zayn]

It makes no sense to me.

[Heath]

But he's very bright. Bright eyed?

[Zayn]

What?

[Heath]

Like, bright eyed. Like, just like.

[Matt]

Oh.

[Heath]

Oh. Very alert, like, looking around.

[Zayn]

Oh, whose eyes?

[Heath]

I can't tell his eye colors yet.

[Zayn]

Whose eyes does he have?

[Heath]

I don't know. It's so weird because, like, sometimes I'll look at him and I'll see only Mariah.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Heath]

And then sometimes I'll look and I'll be like, oh, my God, he looks like me.

[Zayn]

Because I know, because you're. I. I know your mom has, like, very specific looking eyes. And I feel like I see that, see her eyes.

[Matt]

And that's just the beauty of a baby. As it grows, it just like, it looks like everybody. It will. Like, when they're like, five, they'll look like you, but then when they're ten, they look. Mom.

[Zayn]

I know. Yeah.

[Matt]

Crazy.

[Heath]

His hair's still there as.

[Matt]

Where would it be?

[Heath]

Like, apparently, like, some. Some babies are born with, like, a full head of hair, and then it, like, goes away.

[Matt]

Oh, it's just like, okay, like womb hair. And then it needs, like, real world hair to, like, fully adapt. I never knew that.

[Zayn]

Isn't there a chance that his hair could be a completely different color?

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

Dude, that's crazy.

[Matt]

Very possible, because in my, like, when.

[Zayn]

I saw his hair. Oh, he's gonna have, like, hair just like Mariah. Like, black but it could be, it could be brown, it could be light brown.

[Heath]

I've seen some that like go completely blonde at like three years old.

[Zayn]

Yeah. Weren't you like really light haired when you were a kid? And then it go, it went back dark.

[Heath]

Damn. Imagine me if I stayed blonde. I'd be a different.

[Zayn]

Oh, you would, you would.

[Heath]

I'd have an attitude.

[Zayn]

You'd be a dj. Me and you. Me and you would be. Me and you would be a duo dj. Duo DJ would be the new change smokers. But we'd actually be chain smoking.

[Heath]

It's so weird though, cuz like you're looking at your baby, right? And you like see things and like the first week I would just stare at him and like one ear would be like out a little bit more than the other. Or like not as like pushed flat against his head and like you're looking, you're just like, you'd like want him to be perfect and you're, you're like, like just trying to make sure. I don't know how to word it like that nothing. You're not affecting the shape of the face or anything like that. I would like push on his ear to like not get it to like flop out because the other one is like flatter.

[Zayn]

Wait, is it. I mean, is that a real thing or are you just like, you're just overthinking it?

[Heath]

No, it's just like a little off or like I'm trying to think of what else there was.

[Zayn]

The only thing I know you need is that cone head. Make sure he don't have a cone head.

[Heath]

Oh. And then like his nose when he was born was like a little bit like one nostril was a little bit smaller or like it was like a little off and I was just like.

[Zayn]

Oh, he's got a deviate, a septum.

[Heath]

And I was just like, like your, your head goes to like, you want him to like shape perfectly, right?

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

After, after a week it turns into just please stay alive.

[Zayn]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Heath]

You don't care. Like when I, I'm just like, please God, do not let anything also I, I don't, I don't. You don't care what he looks like? What? Like nothing. You just like, please just nothing happen.

[Zayn]

You also have like. I feel like you have PTSD from, from Dean's sister or Dean's brother. Yeah, because I know that was like a big. You had both and then one passed away. And it's because most, a lot of cats do pass away in the first like Week or two. And I think that you guys are like. I feel like that was. You kept remembering that. So I feel like that would make me really scared too.

[Heath]

Like, oh, my God, so crazy. You're just, like, looking at.

[Zayn]

Just like, you're like, we just gotta. You just gotta do what we did with Dean. We just gotta do what we did with Dean.

[Heath]

Get through the trenches.

[Zayn]

Yeah. What does he like? Have you figured out what he likes and doesn't like or do?

[Matt]

Do any of those, like, hacks, like. Like, I always see, like, a video of what? What? I haven't even said anything.

[Heath]

Getting them to poo packs, like, all, like, the little baby things or I.

[Matt]

Got the one I was having was like, getting them to, like, stop crying or whatever. Like, I don't know. I've seen like, a doctor who's like a baby doctor, and he goes, if your baby's crying, just put him, like, this way and, like, hold him by the butt here and then look, and the baby just stops crying. Does. Do any of those movements work or is that like.

[Heath]

There's one position that I. So I only carry him with his head, like, in my crease right here, and then I have my hand underneath him and then holding, like, one leg, like, under his butt.

[Matt]

Right?

[Heath]

And like, he's super chill in that position. So I know if that is, like, the.

[Matt]

Yeah, that's, like, the position I'd, like, see, like, works.

[Heath]

So he likes being, like, on his stomach like that and, like, head to the side, like, kind of looking. So, like, that definitely works. But, like, all of the ones to, like, get them to. To poop or to fart and, like, relieve that type. Because they cry if, like.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Fart. Yeah. Yeah.

[Heath]

Like Zane.

[Zayn]

Yeah. I was just about to say, like, you guys. You guys don't, like when I fart, but you love when Tony farts.

[Matt]

Who? We need him to fart.

[Heath]

We, like, cheer. You cheer. If you get, like, a bowel movement.

[Zayn]

For a baby, you're like, oh, thank God, another day.

[Heath]

But, like, there was so many things that I was, like, seeing that. Like, if you do, like, the up and around with the legs, it'll make them fart on command. And I'm like, this guy's not farting.

[Matt]

No.

[Heath]

Like, there's so many little hacks like that that I was like, yeah, hearing about. But, like, none of those things worked.

[Matt]

Interesting. Yeah, that's always like, I see all these little hacks. I'm like, oh, I got to save that for one day. But.

[Heath]

But then there's like, things you find out over time. That works. Like, if I put him between my knees, like, head here.

[Matt]

Right.

[Heath]

And then he's kind of like, got his legs around my belly. Mm. That position, he'll completely relax. Just goes to the bathroom so easily.

[Zayn]

Do you have certain music playing when he. When he's sleeping or, like, for him to fall asleep or do you have no music?

[Heath]

I don't know if it's like, baby.

[Zayn]

Like baby music?

[Matt]

Baby Mozart.

[Zayn]

Yeah, like, baby.

[Heath]

Yeah, it's like a. It's a little mini hatch that does, like, ocean sounds, shushing white noise, a bunch of different.

[Zayn]

Like, you know what? I feel like those are much better than, like, the baby music.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

I remember my mom would always have, like, baby music playing when my little brother, sister were sleeping. They would like, baby Mozart and baby, like, music in general. But I really like the humming and.

[Matt]

The, like, the natural landscape soundscapes.

[Zayn]

I think more just. I think like, human humming. Like a. Like a human going.

[Matt]

Oh, yeah.

[Zayn]

I feel like that would be pretty soothing for a baby.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

He's not colicky. He's gonna have such a good life.

[Heath]

Or, you know what, stressful. I said, I'm just glad he's not colicky. Like, I hear colicky babies are super stressful.

[Matt]

Yes.

[Zayn]

Colicky babies, colicky.

[Matt]

I don't even know how to describe it. It's not like a syndrome, but it's like a phase that some babies have where they're, like, very fussy. They don't, like, feel, like, settled. They cry a lot. Like when a baby is in colic. What is it? So, yeah, a colicky baby is a healthy infant who cries excessively, often for hours with no obvious reason, making them difficult to console, peaking around six weeks and resolving by three to four months. There's no.

[Heath]

There's no, like, consoling them.

[Matt]

Yeah. Just like.

[Heath]

No. Nothing you do will help them.

[Matt]

They're just fussy. They're like, what is this? What did I wake up into? They're just, like, not fully comfortable with being in reality.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Heath]

But I heard that, like, people will call it colic because they don't know. But it could be, like, a lot of babies have, like, a cow's milk protein at allergy.

[Matt]

Yes.

[Heath]

So, like, people that, like, do formula, like, their baby could be, like, almost like, lactose intolerant.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zayn]

Oh. So the feeling of just, like, of pooping all the time is making them.

[Heath]

Cry, and they just have, like, an upset stomach and you don't know that it's that. So like, some People you don't know.

[Matt]

Yeah. There could be underlying issues, but I think when, like, you have ruled out everything, and it's like, it's still fully healthy baby. It's just plus.

[Heath]

And it's like, dude, I had to. I had to shut my phone off. I just kept getting so many crazy tiktoks that, like, well, it will put you into a panic spiral thinking that something's wrong, because everybody.

[Zayn]

Everybody has their different ways. And a lot. I feel like a lot of these parents, too, they. Their way is the right way, but I feel like there is or just so many different ways you can do.

[Heath]

The baby does that. It says, like, dude, it is the first week. Because I. I'm new to being a parent. Like, you don't know this. I've never been around babies. And, like, I was just. If your baby does this, take them to the emergency room immediately.

[Zayn]

And I'm like, if the baby does what?

[Heath]

Like, if they breathe a certain way or make some sort of noise or if, like, oh, yeah, dude, a million different things.

[Matt]

Is these.

[Zayn]

Is this coming from doctors or coming from just parents that are parents.

[Heath]

Parents that, like, lost their babies? And it was just like this. This was a sign that I didn't know know was an underlining issue, and I was just like, oh, my God. And you.

[Matt]

You.

[Heath]

It consumes you, and you're just like, maybe paranoid, maybe.

[Zayn]

I want to bring my kid to the doctor every week, though.

[Matt]

You do not want to be a munch housing mother, Zane. I mean, like, munch housing by proxy or like, mothers who think that there's something wrong.

[Zayn]

What a scary fear to have, though. Just like, I didn't know about this, about my baby, and I lost my baby. So just make sure that you don't.

[Matt]

Take everything with a grain of salt.

[Zayn]

No, that's just, like, terrifying.

[Heath]

Calmed all my nerves. She's just like, I've been around a lot of babies. We're good.

[Zayn]

Oh, that's good.

[Heath]

This is normal. I'm like, okay, okay.

[Zayn]

Well, I'm glad. I'm glad to hear everybody's doing good. Did you finish your renovation? I know you guys were renovating something before. They wanted it done before the baby.

[Heath]

It's. It's still a mess. We're trying.

[Zayn]

It'll happen. It'll. It'll. It'll figure itself out, you know?

[Heath]

It'll get done when it gets done.

[Zayn]

Yeah, exactly.

[Matt]

Exactly.

[Zayn]

Who gives a hell, you know?

[Heath]

Who gives a hell, period?

[Zayn]

You want to play Factor Carb in this episode? You want to do it for unwind.

[Heath]

Save it for next episode, I think.

[Matt]

Okay, good.

[Zayn]

Yeah.

[Heath]

And next episode I'll be in person, so.

[Matt]

Oh, great.

[Heath]

That'll be fun.

[Zayn]

Oh, you are.

[Heath]

Should we jump into the unwind?

[Zayn]

All right, y', all, thank you so much again for tuning in to another episode of Zany Heath Unfiltered. You can check out these episodes every Monday audio form and all podcast platforms and every Tuesday video forum on YouTube.com.

[Heath]

Zayn and he also make sure to check out the Patreon patreon.com Zane and Heath to keep the cameras rolling, you get an extended cut of every single episode. We do early access ad free bonus episodes, live Q and A, you name it.

[Matt]

Boom.

[Heath]

Double hom. Patreon.com Zayan Heath if you want to check it out, we're going to jump into it now. We'll see you there.

[Zayn]

All right. Peace and blessings, y'.

[Matt]

All. Toodles. Hey.