322: He Needs to Be Locked Up FOREVER

Summary

Zane and Heath: Unfiltered

Episode 322: He Got Arrested Again??

Date: March 2, 2026
Hosts: Zane, Heath, Matt, Jared

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Episode Overview

In this lively and highly conversational episode, the group dives into a mix of trending internet topics, personal anecdotes, wild news stories, and pop culture debates. The blend of lighthearted banter and surprisingly thoughtful takes keeps the tone candid and comedic, while the hosts’ chemistry and willingness to discuss “too much” as Matt jokes, gives the episode its “unfiltered” charm.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Weather Chat & Snow Panic

Timestamps: 00:00–03:00

• The hosts open with swapping stories about current weather, snowstorms in New York, and the harrowing experience of being snowed in.
• Matt comments on how videos from Russia or Serbia with extreme cold are “where the lottery of life just placed you,” prompting the group to joke about fleeing small towns for better climates.

2. Influencers, TikTok Shopping, and Body Image

Timestamps: 03:00–12:00

• They discuss TikTok “shop links” culture, the genuineness of product recommendations, and the viral hacks for getting a tan or enhancing features.
• Matt admits to trying beta carotene supplements for a “little orange glow,” referencing a TikTok tip (02:03: “If I can’t tan, I might as well start taking these supplements.” – Matt).
• Hilariously open chat about body image—Matt discusses buying butt-padded underwear (“butt pads”) from TikTok and wearing them out.
  • 07:15: “I felt silly wearing the butt pads…” – Matt
• Jared and Zane tease him, but then identify with insecurities about noses and butts, creating a relatable and comedic moment.

3. OnlyFans & Klarna: Payment Plans for Adult Content

Timestamps: 12:58–18:26

• The hosts react incredulously to Klarna, a “buy now, pay later” service, partnering with OnlyFans.
  • 13:11: “If you need to do a payment plan to watch somebody’s OnlyFans, you’re cooked.” – Zane
• Discussions extend to how OnlyFans messaging often isn’t direct from the creator, raising questions about bots and the illusions of online fantasy—“It’s a placebo,” says Zane.

4. America's Next Top Model Docuseries & Toxic Reality TV

Timestamps: 19:42–26:02

• Zane reviews a Tyra Banks-produced doc on America’s Next Top Model, criticizing the show’s toxic, exploitative elements. 21:33: “They put these girls through hell.” – Zane
• The group debates the complicity of producers and staff, and reflects on how reality and game shows might not withstand today’s scrutiny.
• 26:02: Heath speculates even shows like “Fear Factor” would face backlash in modern times.

5. Viral Gross-Out Internet Content

Timestamps: 34:14–41:00

• They talk about viral “rage bait” videos, including a woman (possibly faking) washing her underwear in a hotel K-cup coffee machine.
  • 35:19: “You think that she did that purposely?” – Zane
  • 36:26: “Watch out for rage baiters out there, they get people all riled up.” – Matt
• More internet “gross-outs,” like a viral video of a woman letting her dog lick snot from her nose, and animal-related shock stories.

6. Crazy News: Roadkill Scandal in Kentucky

Timestamps: 41:00–42:20

• Jared delivers a news item about a man arrested for a disturbing act with a deer carcass.
  • The group reacts with disbelief, Matt exclaiming:
  • 41:49: “I needed to hear this story. Life is good. I’m killing it.” – Matt

7. Shia LaBeouf’s Latest Arrest & Celebrity Downfalls

Timestamps: 42:22–46:14

• The hosts lament Shia’s recent Mardi Gras arrest, noting his repeated personal struggles despite his immense talent.
  • 43:45: “He’s one of my favorite actors. I’m just constantly disappointed when Shia messes up.” – Matt

8. Wardrobes, Body Types & Shopping Struggles

Timestamps: 46:14–51:01

• Honest talk about closet woes, clothes not fitting, and the misery of shopping while not feeling your best—“I refuse to buy big pants again.” – Zane (47:01)
• A tangent on the challenges and psychology of online shopping and women’s love of buying and returning clothing.

9. Bollywood Dance Video Goes Viral

Timestamps: 51:01–53:46

• Zane describes filming a Bollywood dance video and how it resonated with Indian social media.
  • “I saw the demography…so many Bollywood actors, Bollywood dancers are commenting!” – Zane (54:19)
• The group jokes Zane might get cast in an Indian cologne campaign or as India’s next big star.

10. Regional Sodas, Snacks & Food Debates

Timestamps: 56:22–61:43

• Geek out over flavored soda shops (“Swig”), Mormon loopholes around “hot drinks” vs. caffeine, and amusing food combos (like cheese sticks microwaved on tortilla chips).
• Zane confesses, “I’d rather eat chips with mozzarella than cheddar. I just don’t like cheddar.” (60:50)

11. Travel Adventures: Belize & Movie Theater Rants

Timestamps: 63:12–67:37

• Matt was in Belize for a brand deal, raving about the country, the food, the beer (Belikin), and warning for the “uncomfortable” ferry ride versus a quick seaplane.
• Rant about high concession prices at Regal vs. AMC theaters, popcorn quality, and the shocking lack of drink options at Regals.

12. Movie Reviews & James Bond Casting

Timestamps: 67:38–73:36

• Matt gives Wuthering Heights “three out of five” (“It was lovely, but I was really bored.” – 67:14).
• Lively debate on James Bond recasting—whether Jacob Elordi is a good fit (“Don’t take it!” says Matt, 72:36).
• They brainstorm favorites (Theo James, Callum Turner), considering age, look, and “Bond energy.”

13. Animal News & “Who Would Win: Gorilla vs Bear?”

Timestamps: 80:17–85:51

• They melt over “Punch the Monkey” viral story (a zoo monkey with a stuffed animal companion), then spiral into wild animal domestication.
• Heated debate: Would a bear or gorilla win in a fight? Citing AI and Discovery Channel data, they conclude the bear would win “eight to nine times out of ten.”

14. Childhood Fables & Dark Adaptations

Timestamps: 86:10–89:09

• The crew reminisces on scary fairy tales like Goldilocks and Hansel & Gretel, questioning the original moral lessons and how genuinely frightening children’s stories are.

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Notable Quotes

• 03:58 – Zane (on TikTok shop hooks):
  “So my wife just got home, and her boyfriend gave her this product. And immediately you’re like, wait, what?”
• 13:45 – Zane (on Klarna + OnlyFans):
  “If you need a payment plan to watch somebody’s OnlyFans, you’re cooked. You’re done.”
• 15:41 – Matt (on OnlyFans DMs):
  “You know those messages ain’t real. That is some person being paid to message on behalf of them.”
• 21:33 – Zane (on ANTM documentary):
  “They put these girls through hell. I couldn’t believe what I was watching.”
• 41:49 – Matt:
  “I needed to hear this story. Life is good. I’m killing it.”
• 43:45 – Matt (on Shia LaBeouf):
  “He’s one of my favorite actors. I’m just constantly disappointed when Shia messes up.”
• 47:01 – Zane:
  “I refuse to buy new pants. I will not buy big pants again.”
• 54:19 – Zane (on Indian social media):
  “So many Bollywood actors, Bollywood dancers are liking it. To me, that’s so cool.”
• 67:14 – Matt (on Wuthering Heights):
  “It was lovely, but I was really bored.”
• 73:11 – Zane (on Bond franchises):
  “Let’s not fucking ruin it. Let’s not ruin those.”
• 83:40 – Jared (on gorilla vs bear):
  “I think grizzly all day.”

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Memorable Moments

• Matt’s Butt Pad Saga: Matt’s confession of wearing TikTok butt pads to look more muscular, and subsequent paranoia about being “exposed,” is both hilarious and endearing. (04:46–07:30)
• Shia LaBeouf Arrest Story: The emotional rollercoaster of discussing a beloved but troubled actor, with the group torn between hope and disappointment. (42:22–44:42)
• Goldilocks as a Menace: The group seeing Goldilocks through an adult lens and realizing the entire story is about “not respecting boundaries.” (86:51–87:14)
• Viral Monkey Punch: The crew’s collective aww as Matt shares the “Punch the Monkey” story—“He just cuddles the stuffed animal, man.” (81:10–82:01)

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Segment Timestamps (for Quick Reference)

• Weather & Snow Stories: 00:00–03:00
• TikTok Shopping & Body Image: 03:00–12:00
• OnlyFans Payment Plans: 12:58–18:26
• ANTM Doc & Reality TV: 19:42–26:02
• Viral Rage Bait Content: 34:14–41:00
• Kentucky Roadkill Scandal: 41:00–42:20
• Shia LaBeouf Arrested: 42:22–46:14
• Wardrobe Woes: 46:14–51:01
• Bollywood Dance & Indian Social Media: 51:01–54:46
• Movie Theater & Belize Travel: 63:12–67:37
• James Bond Casting: 67:38–73:36
• Monkey Punch & Gorilla vs Bear: 80:17–85:51
• Morals of Childhood Tales: 86:10–89:09

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Final Thoughts

The episode is a mix of hilarious confessions, current internet and pop culture debates, and the kind of unexpectedly open chats that make Zane and Heath: Unfiltered a favorite for listeners wanting to laugh and relate. Whether they’re debating animal battles, internet “rage bait”, or the latest celebrity chaos, the hosts deliver with unfiltered honesty, keeping things real—and really funny—throughout.

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End of Summary.

Transcript

[A]

It's a lovely day outside. This show is hot. It's hot, but it's, like, perfect.

[B]

I've been waiting. I've been waiting for that sun to come out. I haven't. I haven't used my backyard once. I've used my pool once.

[C]

You haven't laid out.

[B]

No, it's been. It hasn't been, like, nice.

[A]

At least you're not New York. Did you see New York's little blizzard they had?

[B]

That's beautiful. That was bad. Was it that bad in Nashville or. Not that bad.

[C]

So we got some snow here yesterday, but nothing like that. But we left the night before that. Really bad storm rolled through, like, New York, New Jersey area, so we just beat it in time. But, like, we were getting videos from all of her family. Dude, like, opening your front door, and there's snow piled up in front of your door. Like, they're fully snowed in.

[B]

Oh, bro, that would. Oh, my God. That's so annoying, having to deal with

[A]

that type of Gosh.

[B]

The snow is nice, but I could not live in the snow. I just. I. I can't do it.

[C]

I know.

[A]

I have mad respect for people who can, like, live in the snow, man.

[B]

Like, imagine grabbing a shovel and having to shovel your way out of your

[A]

house and, like, not having enough food.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, in every restaurant shut down, like, and you're just hungry and cold.

[B]

Yeah. Really Living, like settlers out here. We can't do this. This is crazy.

[C]

Even if you had, like, nowhere to go, if I opened my front door and I saw snow and I couldn't leave, I'd be like, man, I was about to go to the post office or do something.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I would just. Even if you didn't have to go out, I would still be pissed that I just couldn't.

[A]

I always get sucked into, like, videos of somewhere across the world. It's like Serbia or somewhere in Russia. And it's like a. Oh, the Russia one was crazy, where it's, like, negative 45 degrees outside, it's just snow all the time. Like, imagine just growing up there. That's where the lottery of life just placed you at, like, and.

[B]

And you're.

[A]

I would be like, mom, dad, I'm leaving this town. I am leaving this village. I. There are much better places with better weather.

[B]

And you're also just pale all the time. Well, hey, pale.

[C]

There's nothing wrong with that, Matt.

[A]

Don't listen, sir, okay? Some of us have to be pale now for the rest of our lives.

[B]

I know, I know, I know. I Know, but you could always. You could always do fake tan.

[A]

I have been taking lately beta carotene supplements, which are, you know, people say, like, oh, if you eat carrots, you can start get a little bit of an orange glow.

[B]

Oh, I did not know that.

[A]

That is like a scientific fact if you eat a bunch of carrots. But really it's because there's, I believe, carotene in it and it just sounds good.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

And I saw a TikTok of someone who said, hey, my skin, I've been able to get a glow because I've been taking beta carotene supplements. And I'm like, well, if I can't tan, I might as well start taking these supplements.

[B]

It didn't. It didn't have, like a shop link on the bottom, right?

[A]

No, even. I never even go for a shop link. I'll just look on another website that sells.

[B]

No, no, I'm saying, like, the minute I see a shop link, I just, like, don't believe the video.

[A]

I. I'm with you on that. I'm with you on that. But I think this one was more of just general, like, wellness tips than like, you know, shelling out the product.

[B]

Do either of you know anybody that does, like, like, their whole job is shop links on TikTok? Oh, really? You know somebody?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Have you ever talked to them about it?

[C]

Oh, they crush.

[B]

And I know they crush, but, like, how often are they telling the truth?

[C]

Well, I don't think it's so much of like, a telling the truth thing. I think they just find products that, you know, not that they don't believe in and they just shell out for it. I think they find good products that they know are. They just promote it.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Because it's like a good product.

[A]

They're looking at the marketplace, like, on the end of, like, creator stuff. TikTok will say, like, hey, these are some products that seem to be on the rise and doing well. And the CPM and like, the returns on it can do really well. Like, your commission is going to be big. And so they just sit there and they get those products and they just make those videos all day until one hits. I hate those. Yeah, it is.

[C]

No, Matt, Matt. But the hooks on those, like, the people that do it for a living, all their hooks are like, so my wife just got home and her boyfriend gave her this product. And it like, immediately you're like, wait, wait, what?

[B]

It's like those.

[C]

It's like, like, that's how they get you. And then you're like, Okay, I gotta see what. His wife came home, but her boyfriend gave her something.

[A]

Yeah, they get you like that shit.

[C]

And then you start watching like, damn, I could use that wife beater.

[A]

Or a guy will like pull out a carrot out of his. Just like his shorts or whatever in the beginning, like he's in the kitchen and starts chopping up the vegetable and you're like, what are you taught that just came out of your pants?

[B]

Or they'll show a product and they'll have like a fake RA running through, like, the kitchen. Just.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

So they can get like, comments and people re watching. Yeah, yeah. Algorithm. Because I've seen those two and I'm like, damn.

[C]

Yeah. That's the only thing I ever bought was wife beaters on Tick Tock. Only thing I ever Tick Tock shopped. That's it.

[A]

Wife beaters because of the Tick Tock shop.

[C]

Dude, they were. They were made specifically for people with gynecomastia.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

And I was like, that is my community. They know.

[B]

And it's like, I'm wearing one right now.

[C]

You are you really?

[A]

Yeah, the echo beaters.

[B]

You have gyna. I don't think I have it. Like, I'm not diagnosed. Like, I never gotta talk to a doctor about it. But I. Listen, I. My nipples are a little.

[C]

Jared, why have we never vented about this?

[B]

I don't know, dude.

[C]

We'll talk after I get sucked into

[A]

the ones that are like the underwear that give you a little bit of a butt. Oh, wait, weren't you just wearing one?

[B]

No, that's. No, those are butt pads that, like, girls will wear. Like, those aren't like.

[A]

These are ones that have like, pads in it that make it look like you have a butt.

[B]

Oh, but why, why would it. For dudes.

[A]

For dudes? Yeah, for someone like me. I have no ass. Zane, That's. I have no ass.

[B]

Yeah, no, I know, but I'm. But that's fine though, guy. I feel like that's normal for guys that have. No, isn't that like a normal thing? Like, isn't that true?

[A]

Ok, but I'm not doing it like.

[B]

Ok, like, are you trying to, like, are you trying to be, like, voluptuous?

[A]

What do we.

[C]

What are we doing here, Matt?

[A]

Just something just to give my pants a little lift. The point is there would be guys who have butts like me and then they put on the little, you know, butt padded underwear and I'm like, damn, that does look nice. It just makes it look like I have a muscular butt. Nothing.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So.

[B]

So.

[A]

But then I was like, I gotta see that if it works for me. And I did.

[B]

Matt's just looking at butts all day, like, boy, booty. And just like, I want that butt. I do.

[A]

Sometimes I do wish I had a muscular butt. It's just my one little thing I. I don't have.

[B]

I do the same thing, but with. With different guys. Noses. I'll watch a show. I'm like, damn, a good nose. And he's turning sideways, and I'm like, damn, we have the same head. So if I had that nose, it'd be like, it would work because it works on this guy. Like, I have all these things playing in my head as I'm watching TV or shows where I'm not even paying attention. I'm just paying attention to everybody. All the dudes, noses.

[C]

It'd be like that sometimes.

[A]

But I bought. I bought them and, like, I wore them out to, like, the grove, just to, like, let's go take a little strut in these. And the whole time I was like,

[C]

did you like it?

[A]

No, it's not that I.

[C]

No.

[A]

No one's looking at my butt. It's only me that knows it. But I can feel that I have these pads on my ass the whole time, every time I'm walking. And I'm just like, who am I fooling? What am I doing? Patricia knows I'm wearing it, but we're just laughing, like, thinking like, you're getting whistled at.

[B]

Hey, sweet cheese.

[C]

I wish, but don't drop the soap.

[A]

I felt silly. I felt silly wearing the butt pads, but did.

[B]

But do you still have them? You still wear them?

[A]

Yeah, I still have them. I've only worn them, like, once. I guess, like, maybe next time if I was. I don't even want maybe a suit, something. If I was wearing maybe, like, thinner fabric or like my shirt was something, then.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Or. Or like, if you knew you were going to a ball game, you're going to be sitting for a while. I feel like that would be.

[B]

That would be nice.

[A]

I could work.

[B]

It's used, like, as a. As a. Yeah, a cushion. Yeah, I like that.

[A]

I'm waiting for, like, a right occasion. If I'm, like, hosting something, maybe at my house, but it's a kind of a nice event where my shirt's tucked in. And I know that, like, if I need to, like, get out of these underwear, I can just go to my room, change.

[B]

You know what I do understand? When you tuck in your shirt, that's

[A]

what I'm talking About.

[B]

I understand that.

[A]

That little, like.

[B]

Yeah. Honestly, Matt, I have to blur that out. I wish I could give you some of mine.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Because this is.

[A]

Would you. Yeah.

[B]

It's too big.

[A]

You do that for me?

[B]

Like, I think my butt is just. It's too. It's too. I have too much of it. So it makes me look, like, chunky on the bottom. I could get some sucked out if you need. And I could give it to you.

[A]

Please. Because I'm trying. I mean, I have not been skipping my leg days. I've been good about it. Sometimes I feel like, oh, it's sculpting, but it's not getting any bigger. And I feel like the butt. The gluteus maximus is the one muscle where it's like, I don't know.

[C]

Calves.

[A]

Yeah, you had to. Been working on it since day fucking one. Like, Matt, you have to, you know,

[B]

you have to up your protein and do butt blah. You got to do butt workouts.

[A]

Because that's what I have been doing. You have. I have been. But it's just.

[B]

How much protein do you eat a day?

[A]

Maybe I also need to be doing more aggressive, like, squats, like, because I'm doing mostly like the leg presses, the leg lying down, leg curl stuff. I'm doing anything I can just to not like, be there with the free weights. But if I had a trainer with me, I need to get a. Just a leg day trainer.

[B]

You need. You need to get a dude trainer that just has like a massive muscular ass.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I'm like, I want you. I want. I picked you because I just like, what you got going on? We're tall. Give me there.

[B]

You're looking. He's looking at you from across the gym and you're like, like, your butt. I want it.

[C]

And please, you're training me.

[A]

He's just.

[B]

He's just confused. Like, what do you want? That's funny. So we need to. We need to get you a better butt. And we need. So, ladies, if you are listening and you are good at those butt workouts, can you please give Matt just down below? Yeah. Just like, what are. What does he need to do to grow that ass? Because I do. I get it. The tucked insert. I get it. That makes. It's like, you know, for me, like, when a nice event, I'm like, I can't wear my hat. You know what I mean? It's like we all have something for specific events that we need to fix or just.

[C]

But then I'm worried.

[A]

But then I'm Worried I'm going to be wearing those butt pads. And you're feeling great. And you know, like buddies, we come up to one another just like, butt like, damn, man. Like. But I feel like that moment of slap, they're going to be like, what are you wearing?

[B]

Is that a diaper?

[A]

Like, it's just because. Because I was like spanking myself with him and I'm like, if someone came up and slapped my ass, they would think I had some medical condition that I was. I was wearing, like, depends or something.

[B]

It's like, it's. And it's like, how do you. Because they're gonna bring it up and you have to answer. You have to tell them the truth.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Because they're just gonna be like, that's weird. And he's just gonna start telling everybody

[A]

around, say, like, I bruised my tailbone and I'm just wearing like some.

[C]

Oh, good, good.

[A]

I bruised my tailbone. I just need a little cushion when I sit down. It's just temporary.

[C]

He's already.

[A]

Zane.

[C]

He's already thought about it.

[B]

How can I make this sound good when somebody asks?

[A]

And I feel like the only person that really would come up and slap my butt would be Todd. Yeah. Like, that's the only person I'm envisioning who just come up like, what's up, buddy? And then be like.

[B]

And not only a slap, a grab with it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But you know what? It doesn't even. Like, the thing is that you have a wife now, so it doesn't even really matter what anybody thinks, right?

[A]

No, it doesn't matter at all. I think it's just that tick tock shop curiousness when you see it and go, yeah, how would that look on me? Yeah. I just need to buy. What is it, 20 bucks. Let's just have some fun. It's a fun purchase.

[B]

You should get the one where I got. For our little video that we did for the Super Bowl. I. I double. I double stuff.

[A]

Oh, that looked cheeked up.

[B]

Oh, it was because this. The pants or the shorts and the pads come separate. So you. You put it in.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

I was able to grab the second one. I got two just in case. But I was able to grab the pass on the second one and double pad. And it literally. It gave me a.

[A]

A little rub.

[B]

A little rub. I remember I kept looking. I'm like, damn, I want to. Whoa, Damn. I wanted to have the.

[C]

But it was my own goodness.

[A]

I was looking in the mirror.

[B]

I was like, damn. And I already have a big ass. So it like it mooned me up.

[C]

Double cheeked up.

[B]

Double cheeked up on a Thursday, you know?

[A]

All right, so should we run.

[B]

Let's run that intro.

[C]

All right, baby. Let's get it.

[B]

Let's get it. Oh, God.

[C]

Three, two, one. It's baby.

[B]

Very good. That was.

[C]

Thank you guys.

[B]

Too much.

[C]

Not enough.

[B]

I think this episode belongs on Only Fans. I think that we just gave him a little too much. We kind of gave him a little bit of like unwind type.

[C]

Matt didn't give him too much over there.

[A]

Nothing. I gave them not it.

[C]

Z, you were working.

[B]

I was working it.

[A]

Next episode I'll bring in the butt pads. I'll wear it. Wear it.

[B]

No, I want to wear it. I want to see how much it like it's noticeable.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, you will. You. You'll notice a difference.

[B]

I'm just. I'm just like Z.

[C]

He walks by to take his seat.

[B]

Hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave. Damn. Did you guys see. Speaking of onlyfans, did you guys see that? You know Klarna?

[C]

Klarna, the shop thing?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Apparently Klarna is. Is working with OnlyFans where now you can start doing monthly payments. People are not can't afford.

[A]

Clarify what Klarna is. The name sounds so familiar.

[C]

Basically, like if you can't afford something, you can put it on like a. A pay plan. Like if you don't. If you don't have the money like upfront right now, you could monthly inst.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

They are gonna work with only fans where if you want to buy someone's only fans, you can. Instead of paying on the spot, you could come up with a plan to pay for later. Pay later.

[A]

The economy is gonna crash.

[B]

If you.

[A]

If your housing bubble is here. Like if you need.

[B]

If you need to do a payment plan to watch somebody's only fans, you're cooked. You're done. You're done. Like, where are we?

[C]

What are we?

[B]

Where are we?

[A]

And then what happens if you don't pay those payments? What will just like expose you? O. Blackmail.

[B]

I like that.

[A]

Yeah. I just want to know what the punishment is too. I mean, besides like.

[B]

I mean, it's just like anything else, right? You just get right you to hit

[C]

your credit, it hits your credit, it

[A]

affects all of that.

[B]

Can you imagine your credit going down because you didn't pay your Only fans membership on time?

[C]

God, that's crazy.

[B]

That is insane.

[C]

That's. That's a problem.

[B]

I mean, I don't have. I'm. I'm not signed up to anybody's only fan. But, like, I. Isn't the range between like, 15 to 25, like, dollars? Like, how.

[C]

I think it's all dependent on what people set their price as.

[B]

God, is it only going up?

[A]

I don't know. It all depends on the level of content people have. I'm very curious about the average only fan subscriber. How many other people are they subscribing to?

[B]

Oh, like, you know, you got your

[A]

Netflix, your Peacock, your Hulu, multiple subscription services for all this content. Are you, like, loyal to one channel?

[B]

That's true.

[A]

So, yeah, sometimes it's like five to 15 bucks a month. That makes sense. Sometimes I, like, people are like, it's free.

[B]

Yeah, I heard a lot. A lot of people do it for free. And then they make all their money through messages. So they'll charge through messages and they'll charge. They'll charge like, damn, we're back. We're back to.

[C]

We're back to paying per message, really? Like, but.

[A]

And you know, those messages ain't real. That is some person that is being paid to message on behalf of them. But here's my other thing. Is it a bot? Because then I can't imagine. What if it's just like. It's like Smarter Child. It just messages you right back and you're like, hold on, can I just get a little bit of a grace period? Because are people, like, turning themselves on by, like, the DMS and stuff? Oh, yeah, hey, I'm touching myself. I'm thinking about you. And they're like, oh, yeah, baby. Oh, yeah, baby. Like, is that how.

[C]

Yeah, you. You want it to be, like, real? Like, respond, like, three days later, like, hey, sorry, just saw this.

[A]

A true correspondence. It's.

[B]

It's. It's. The thing is that they would never do AI or make it like a boss like that, because if somebody catches it, you could expose the whole entire. You need to still have a human on it. It's never them. It's never the girls or the boys messaging people back. They do hire other people to do it, but, like, they know that people. The thing is that people that are. They know that. I think it's just like the fantasy of it that they, like, subscribe to, which to me is just. It's. It's a placebo. If you're not. If you're not fudgeing, talking to the actual girl and she's not giving you the actual content, she's just. It's like, you might as well go to that Freeze. Go to a free site. Yeah, go to a free site. It makes no sense to me.

[A]

Do the people who have to chat on behalf of, you know, whoever onlyfans model they are representing, do they have, like, notes for each, like, client? Like, okay, yeah, this guy really likes, like, Cheetos, like, and baby oil. So I got to, like, remember to tie that in, like, and then do they, like, pass on, like, notes about this particular client to other people? Hey, you're working with Darren today. He really. He likes it a little nice in the beginning, but then you got to get rough.

[B]

Gotta ramp it up because he's gonna

[A]

catch on to us.

[B]

I wonder where this will be in, like, five, ten years. Because you know how we, like, go. Like, there's. We go, like. I feel like our timeline, when it comes to just, like, the history of the universe, we go in waves, right? It's like, shit. Like, this gets very popular, and then it. Like, in 20 years or 30 years, it will become like. Like, OnlyFans will become just like a. Like a shame for a. No. No thing to do. And I, like, I feel like it will come back. I just wonder when that's going to be.

[A]

Only time will tell, right?

[B]

Am I right? I feel like the. When it comes to, like, adult work, we, like, we've been seeing cycles.

[C]

I think it's just been a progressive push. I don't think it's really.

[B]

Because I thought. I thought it was popular. Then it became. It was. It was popular, then it wasn't, and now it's like, back. I think it's always been taboo. But you're also talking, like, it's not exactly prostitution, but adult work is, like, the oldest profession in the world.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's been there since the beginning of time. I feel like I'd be really good at it. Should we test it? I would be. No. I know I definitely die. I. I have family members are so alive, so I could never do it, but. But I feel like if I did do that work, I'd be very good at it.

[A]

Damn right. Period.

[B]

King.

[A]

I'd be very good at it.

[B]

I'd be really good at it.

[A]

This is a job. This is a career.

[C]

You don't understand a time card, like, punch stamp in his house. Let's go.

[A]

He has, like, multiple screens. Yeah, he's a, like, stockbroker. Just like. Don't you.

[B]

Don't you ever see jobs? You're like, damn, I'm not gonna do that, but I'd be really good at that job.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

There's A few. And that's one of them. Yeah, this is one of them. It's just like, I. Yeah, you know,

[A]

I can hear this insane like, working on his only fans. Just a total goon cave because, you

[B]

know, I'm all about business, baby.

[A]

To me, daddy's working.

[B]

But honestly, get out. I. If I. The thing is, if I could afford it, I would just like hire a double and just have him take all my nudes for you so I didn't have to show anything.

[C]

I could see you being one of the managers, the, like the content managers. Like, I could see you getting into that.

[B]

Well, I mean, I like these shoots.

[C]

Ladies, these shoots are not it.

[A]

Oh yeah, we best work. Not your best work.

[B]

Yes, I, I think I'd be a great content manager for that.

[A]

Tyra Banks, but for only fans models. Congratulations. You're still in the running to becoming America's next.

[B]

I just watched the. The documentary. Oh, did you watch it?

[A]

No, I haven't. And is it. Is it what? Yes, the Tyra Banks documentary.

[B]

Because she used to have a show called America's Next Top Model. I personally, I've. I've only seen clips. It's like, especially in the past, like five years on TikTok, I've only seen clips. I've never seen one episode of that. Okay, but we've all heard of it, right? As. Because all the clips have been coming out of like all the different challenges that she's put the contestants through where it's like, holy shit. People have to. People have to pose in different races for each other.

[A]

Yeah, this. It was a toxic.

[B]

It was a different time. It was crazy. But this was all years back and, and it, it just came out and I saw that Tyra Banks was a producer on the documentary. Saw my head was like, oh, normally you don't see someone that's being exposed as a producer of like a hit piece like that.

[A]

Not a hit piece, but like they're controlling the narrative.

[B]

Yeah, they're. So Tyra is going to clear like in my head's like, I need to see if she's going to control this narrative or not. And so I watched it and they pretty much go through all like the, the, the ups and downs throughout the, throughout the. The seasons. And bro, it was bad. Like the end of season two, that whole. I don't. You didn't watch it at all.

[A]

I mean, I'm familiar with a lot of the viral clips and crazy toxic things they would do on the show.

[B]

The one though, like the. On the end of season two when they're in Milan.

[A]

Okay, go on.

[B]

One of the, One of the girls, she got, like, really, really, like, up and the whole jacuzzi scene.

[A]

Yes, I remember this. I remember this.

[B]

I, I, I had no idea about what happened.

[A]

They got drun. A, a, a bathtub at, like, a hotel and stuff, right when they were taking off, like, their tops and stuff.

[B]

It was considered reality TV and not. Because this type of show, it should have been only competent. Like, they shouldn't have never showed them, like, kind of outside living. Yeah, because, like, you know, Jersey Shore, you film everything, but there's really no challenges. You. They just living life. This, this type of show, it should have just been strictly the challenges. They come, they get voted off.

[C]

And like, like the, like the, the tattoo show, like, all you see is,

[A]

like, yeah, it's just, like, we're focused on the craft and. Exactly odds of winning.

[B]

So they were showing the ins and outs, like, in competitions outside of competitions, where I thought that was kind of like a red flag already when they were, When I was watching the documentary, and, you know, these girls would have, like, the day off or something from the show, and they would go and have fun and the cameras would stay on them. And of course, it was like the model industry back then. It was so toxic. Like, like, they were not having these girls eat anything when they're, like, when challenge is about to come up or, like, they had a photo shoot, and they would put them through these, like, insane. Like, there was a girl that. Her mom got shot, right? Her mom got, like, shot, killed, whatever. Because every challenge that they did. Theme is a theme. And this theme was dead. Like, everybody was, like, killed. And they made her specifically be the one shot in the head and her posing.

[A]

Oh, my Lord.

[B]

And it's like, they didn't say that they, they, they put that one on her, but they, that they knew that her mom was killed like that. So if you, like, knew that, right?

[A]

It was very, like, conniving and talking.

[B]

Very conniving. And it's like, it wasn't just that. It was a lot of different things. So you knew it was on purpose.

[C]

Bam.

[B]

They put these girls through hell. I couldn't believe what I was watching. It was really, really terrible. Like, these girls, they were making these girls get their teeth redone, like, full. Like, this girl had a gap, and she looked incredible with the gap. Like, it really happened.

[A]

If you're a model, keep the gap. Can, like, define a whole look for you.

[B]

They made her close it up. They made her Close her entire gap or she was gonna get eliminated just

[C]

to stay on the show.

[B]

Just to stay in the show. And they, they aired that, they filmed that. By next season they had a girl with a gap. With a gap. They loved it. They're like, oh, you should keep your gap.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And that was the very next season.

[A]

So is the whole stick of the documentary, are they going, we didn't realize how toxic we were being back then. And it's great that we now have oversight over the reality shows we're producing now. Like, they're a little more self aware looking back. Or is it just like, look at the crazy we got away with.

[B]

Yeah, no, no, no. I think it was. It was a definitely self aware for sure. I don't think Tyra was being very apologetic about how she ran it, but the other guys, I think they definitely. But I didn't like how they were kind of putting the blame on her because they were, they were on the same side. Like, if you thought that it's terrible atmosphere and you guys were going like, well, how many seasons was this? Like, I think over. They had over 15, 20 seasons on this. They got fired by Tyra. They. She let them all go. They were on the show for so many years and everybody loved all of them and she fired them. And then there and then they kind of attacked her on like her like, oh, she's toxic mobile. It's like, yo, you've been on the show for that many years and this, all this shit happened and you let that fly. But now it's like it's her fault. It was, it was, it was pretty crazy. But I think they're coming up with another documentary that's not produced by her

[A]

and that will dive maybe a little bit.

[B]

I feel like they're like, they're going to show more that like you.

[C]

Yeah, there is something to say though. Like, you know, you could look at it one by way and be like, oh, well, you were on it for 15 years, it must not have been that bad. And you know now all of a sudden you have this to say. But it could be like they were in a position where like, you don't want to lose your job, you don't want to lose this. So you're stuck in like a shitty situation and you're kind of forced to deal with, you know, toxic, like up.

[B]

Totally understandable. Yeah.

[C]

And then like when, when it's finally over, you're like, there's nothing. You're not putting on this fake happy front to just get a check or to do whatever. So, like.

[B]

And also. And I'm sure they all signed very heavy contracts, so, like, if they did speak out against or, like, they would just get. They would just get sued.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's like, who wants to deal with a lawsuit, especially going against somebody like that, you know? But, yeah, no, that was really. It's so crazy seeing something so popular, like, for years, and you just, like. You see little clips here and there. You really don't know, like, the. Yeah, the half of it. And you watch a documentary, you're just like, holy.

[A]

It's weird looking back at stuff and being like, what are we watching? What were we doing? We weren't even flagging that stuff. Stuff when it was happening. We're like, crazy. That's just tv.

[B]

Not even. Just that.

[A]

Everything.

[B]

Even, like, social media content. Like, I look at older videos, I'm like, whoa. It's just like. It's crazy how, like. And it wasn't that long ago, too. It was like.

[C]

You know what I was thinking about the other day? I don't even think that Fear Factor would fly. Like, forcing all these people to eat bugs, roaches, doing all this, like, nasty shit. People be like, why are you making people do this?

[A]

It's back right now. Johnny Knoxville's the host.

[B]

No, that's. No, no.

[A]

But I don't know. But yeah, it's.

[C]

Oh, it's still going.

[A]

Yeah, it's. It's just started. The new season. Johnny Knoxville is the host. But I am curious, like, how aggressive the challenges are, and are they as, like, wild as it was? You know, the first go around with.

[B]

I think Fear Factor is okay as long as they have the right safety precautions and, like, they have right standby medics and all that. All. Like, I. I don't think this is. I would never do this, but I

[A]

just feel bad for the bugs, you know? Like, every time I see it, I'm like, are there some bugs dying? There's some. There are some things getting a little squished. I. I think so.

[B]

Yeah. But I mean, dude, Fear Factor. If you're going on Fear Factor, you know exactly what you're signing up for. You know what I mean? It's like, they're not hiding anything, right? They're very. I think it's very in your face of exactly what you're gonna do. Can you deal with bug teeth, bro?

[C]

I can't even pick one up around the house without a napkin.

[A]

Right. I'm a big. If I see a bug, I get a cup and then a Paper underneath. Paper underneath. Pick it up and I don't kill it. I'll just walk it a block down and then dump it.

[B]

Absolutely. Like, this is too.

[A]

This is too far for the people listening. We're just looking at a little thumbnail. The new season. And what we see are people basically getting buried with cement. They're under those like wire.

[C]

Like, that's too much.

[A]

That's.

[B]

That's too much. That's like. I think you can come up with better stuff and not have like that dude, that would fucking.

[C]

Ugh.

[A]

I don't know. See, I'd be like, damn, I. I gotta know what the fucking contract is because I better be able to sue. And if they're like, if you die,

[B]

you can't sue, can you Heath? Can you imagine how scary that would fucking be if you were down there and they made a mistake and they covered your face accidentally? Just accidentally.

[C]

Like, wait, Zane, didn't something happen on one Fear Factor? Like the underwater didn't?

[B]

Yeah, it was just thinking about that.

[A]

It was this. It wasn't Fear Factor. It was Dog Eat Dog, which was a Fear Factor type show that I believe was on like Spike TV and stuff. And they had bigger challenges. There was a water one where a guy was like underwater for a long time and I think failed to signal that he wanted to get pulled up. He did live, but suffered like severe brain damage from it.

[B]

So yeah, that was.

[A]

That was one that I feel like after that then Fear Factor kind of stopping on air because they realized how big of a risk it was.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then revisited it and. But Doggy Dog is the one where someone had lifelong damage to it.

[B]

Yeah. What a liability. Just all these shows, man, you are just. Dude, imagine running a show like that and you're just like 20 contestants. You're just like, I hope everybody.

[C]

Yeah. You have to take like for a big ass production like that just to make sure.

[B]

Even like like I'm doing a. I'm doing a video like next week and it involves like a. Like a cop. Like a renting. It's like a fake cop.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And Travis is calling me, call me. He's like, we need to do insurance on like is the car movie. It's like, I don't know. It's just gonna like pull me over. Like I don't. It's not. It's very, very small. He's like, like, no, Zane, you like you need to have insurance to cover the. If it's. Even if it moves one feet. Like it needs to be in the insurance. I was like, why are we like, like, why are we worrying about this so much? And. And it hit me that, like, bro, people get sued for anything.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like if. What if those cops got hurt riding behind me? That's like, that's. It's on me.

[A]

There's a lot.

[B]

Whether it's my fault, his foot doesn't matter. It's like, it's like, it's like that makes sense. That makes me not want to do anything. That's why I should film by myself. So if anything happens to me, just self produced because I won't sue myself.

[C]

Play all the roles.

[A]

Yeah, play a cop.

[B]

Rent a cop. Before we continue, this episode is sponsored by better help. With international women's day this month, I've been thinking about all the roles women step into during their life and how often they sacrifice their own needs for others. For example, I think a lot about how my mom was a firefighter for 25 years straight. She just retired actually a year ago. I think about that all the time. And knowing that my mom used to save lives and be pretty much a badass as a firefighter has made me feel so proud of her. And it truly means so much to me how inspiring she is to not only myself, to a bunch of other people too. So if you're feeling stretched a little thin, therapy can help you sort through the pressure, set healthier boundaries, and take care of you. That's why I'm grateful for better help. Better help connects you with fully licensed U. S Therapists who follow a strict code of conduct. They start with a short questionnaire to match you to someone who fits your needs, backed by 12 plus years of experience. And you can switch therapists at any time from their recommendations. With 30, 000 therapists, over 6 million people serve globally and a 4.9 out of 5 session rating from 1.7+ million reviews. It's a great place to start. Your emotional well being matters. Find support and feel lighter in therapy. Sign up and get 10 [e-mail] Zane and Heath that's better. H E L p.com Zayn and Heath, thank you better help for sponsoring this podcast. We love you.

[A]

Oh, he. Did you go to a wedding? Is that why you were in New York?

[C]

Yes. So we did our first road trip with Tony.

[A]

Oh, fun. Y' all drove.

[C]

It was 1212 hours but with like all the stops and everything ended up being like 15. It was long driving there. We stopped and spent the night in like Virginia, but we got to the hotel at 5:30 in the morning, fell asleep and then hit the road at 8:30 in the morning. So it was like a three hour nap and then finished the rest of it. But on the way back I drove straight through.

[B]

Would you do it again?

[C]

No, that was it. That was first and last.

[B]

It's, It's. We used to do road trips all the way to Canada, which was like three day trip. Three day. And bro, they are. It's. I don't know how people enjoy road trips. They're the worst. It just, it's bad for your back, it's bad for your mental health.

[A]

It's.

[B]

It's literally bad. Like there's nothing positive about a road trip and it's also dangerous.

[A]

But then he gets a bond, you know, see the scenery, get a little reading.

[C]

The only, the only scenery was the, the BUC EE's that we stopped, that we just tried to hit every Buc Ees along the way because we had to stop for like diaper changes and like feedings and just like constantly stopping. So we're just like. It was like buc EE's, buc EE's, buc Ees, sheets. Sheets. Like. Yeah, we had it down to a pat. But yeah, we drove out there for Mariah's brother John. He got married.

[A]

Oh, fun.

[C]

It was a quick trip. Like, I think we were only in PA in Jersey for two days and then drove back. But it was really nice. It was fun.

[A]

Tony go to the wedding? Was he out on the dance floor? Like, did you have like.

[C]

Yeah, in a little tuxedo and then he had an outfit change later on. He had a full tracksuit. He had his chain out.

[B]

It was everybody's first time meeting him, right? Yeah, first time. Before us, huh? Before us.

[A]

Well, aren't you. Isn't something happening soon?

[B]

Maybe, Maybe. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe. I'm really excited. I see. I meet Tony on the 27th, 27.

[A]

Is it pretty great though, when you have like the baby and I can like pass it off to like relatives and stuff? Are you still always like a corner of your eye like, where's my baby? Where's my baby? Or like, have you gotten to a point where you're so comfortable you can be in a social situation where you're like, I'm with family members. They've been around babies. I. Yeah, I don't have to keep.

[C]

It's not really a worry.

[A]

Okay. Yeah.

[C]

Everybody obviously, like wants to hold them and like love on them and stuff like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So I'm just. My eyes always kind of just like. Yeah, yeah. And we were talking, we'd just be chit chatting and I'd always like look over.

[A]

Yeah. No. Have you used a koala care changing bed yet? Like that's in, you know, bathroom. Public rooms, like not yet. Not yet, dude.

[B]

As soon. As soon as you saying road trip or a diaper changing on the road, I was. I thought about that koala. The koala.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So gross too.

[A]

A lot of cocaine has been done

[B]

and a lot of. And a lot of.

[A]

Oh, and a lot of sex. People have sex that will not hold

[C]

the weight of a fool.

[B]

I'm willing to bet you that somebody has.

[A]

I thought there's a porno out there of someone having sex. Disgusting.

[B]

I know, I know. It's very dis. You know what else is disgusting that I saw on. Oh my. Like this one made me.

[A]

How gross. Zane. No, you've crossed the line. No, no, no, no. This one.

[B]

No. Every. No. Everybody, everybody is talking about this. This is gross. It's gross. It's not gross enough to talk about, but it is fucking disgusting. You just, just watch out. You just got to watch out in hotel rooms. So this, this girl, she didn't even get exposed. She posted this herself, right? She's in the hotel room. You know how there's like coffee machines in hotel rooms? This lady thought it was a good idea to not only do this, to post it after she took her underwear because they, you know, there was no laundry there. She took her underwear because it was dirty and wanted to clean it. She put it in the K cup up section in the coffee machine. She turned on the hot water and ran it through like where the coffee it would. Like her underwear is pretty much filtering out the water and she's sharing it like a hot. And she shared it. She shared it with TikTok. Like it was a good idea. And it was not rage bait either.

[A]

I. It was rage bait. No, we want to argue about it. I do not believe it at all. That is total rage bait.

[B]

You think that she did that like purposely without, like doing it at all?

[A]

She knew that it would cause a massive reaction and get tons of views. She seems like a pretty sane person too. Like while she's like talking to the camera and stuff. Like if it was like someone who was like mentally ill and is like, hey guys, this is a little. Sorry, doing like a country accent. But just like, you know, whenever, just my britches get a little dirty, I just use the K cup like a Normal person. If they felt like they had dirty underwear and they had no way to clean it, you would go to the bathtub and run hot water and clean your underwear. Yeah. A K cup machine, buddy. Also clog it. Like, I don't even think it's physically possible to run.

[B]

You know what? You're. You're right. I don't think it's. Especially the hotel ones. It could be very small and, like, to have to, like, ball up a underwear into that. It probably wouldn't even fit.

[A]

Yes. And you would just know. It would flood. It would cause just mayhem. It's very good. But I'm not trying to, like, downplay you, but a lot of people were impressed about it, and I'm like, y', all, relax. This has to be rage bait. I believe.

[C]

I feel like a normal coffee. Coffee pot would work.

[A]

Yes. I could see if she did a normal coffee pot, I'd be like, that's disgusting. And I believe that she did that. Is this a K cup, buddy? Like that.

[C]

But also the K cup thing has the metal spikes that come down into the top of it. Like, you're just punching holes into the underwear.

[B]

Can the hotel sue her for this? Because she posted it.

[A]

Like, she doesn't show her doing it. She just says she does it.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

And she did it. That's where I'm also, like, this didn't happen.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I think if it probably was a funny idea in her head, like, yo, I could totally. Like, how funny would it be if somebody, like, washed it in there and then it was just like, I just did this.

[A]

Right. Like, they should do it on their channel. Get. See if it works.

[B]

Oh, get that exact. Get the exact coffee.

[A]

Get a K cup. And it. I bet it can only work with, like, a thong. Like a G string. Yeah. You know, something. But that is so silly.

[B]

Yeah, you're right, Matt. I, I think, like, I, I. I don't remember what the. The coffee machine looked like. It just in my head was like, oh, she must have, like, figure out a way to just, like, shove it in there somewhere and let the steam and maybe the heat or. Because I. I don't know if the Watch. If she put it in the K

[A]

cup part, but, like, she is putting it in the K cup.

[B]

Oh, it's in the K cup part.

[A]

It's in the K cup. Right. That's where. Because it's not like she's putting it in a coffee cup and just getting hot water on it. That also. That's bizarre. But that would be a Little bit more hygienic than putting your dirty panties in something where water is draining through. This girl is rage baiting, man.

[B]

Look at that shirt though, Matt. I feel. Oh, my God. We both have the same coffee machine, bruh.

[C]

And also, like, no soap. Like.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I mean, unless she's a great actress, right?

[A]

And she's saying not many people already knew this hack. Like, what are you talking about?

[C]

I don't think anybody did.

[B]

I mean, you're right. The thing is that, like, that's something. It's something. You know what? It's something I would come to the podcast and. And say as a complete lie. That's disgusting. Did you really do that? No, I'm just kidding. But she never had that. Just kidding. Tick tock after it. She just.

[A]

No, there's just watch out for rage baiters out there. Like, just watch out for them because it's just this shit. They get people all riled up. Then she's gonna get a TLC show. She's gonna be on my Strange Addiction or something. This is a girl who just. Just wants attention.

[C]

There was one video. It just reminded me. I think I might have sent it to you, Zane. It was not rage bait, but should have been. Do you remember there was like that one, like Workout Girl and she was talking about like blow. She would. She blew her nose like a snot rocket. And the dog was licking it.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Out of her nose.

[A]

Huh.

[C]

And was like, if you don't have like tissues or anything, this is what I usually just do. And just went like.

[B]

And you saw the whole thing and

[C]

the dog is just licking it up off of her face out of shows. And I was like, oh my God.

[B]

It was a hard watch. It was a hard watch. And that was just back to.

[C]

Back to normal. It was normal content. After that I was like, I have to see who this is. And it was just a one off video.

[A]

Like disgusting. And it's like they just want views.

[B]

You never. And like, you people will never let you live that down. You're done. That is like. That is like the definition of like, the Internet's forever. It's like, you can't hide that now. Now just. People assume that you do that. That all the time. Whether you say you don't do it anymore or not.

[C]

Oh, you know what's more disgusting? Did you see the. The Kentucky man story that just happened?

[A]

What? What happened in Kentucky?

[C]

It's another animal situation. Guy got busted with roadkill. A dead deer on the side of the road.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Huh.

[C]

Covered in blood.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And he was out there behind the deer.

[B]

Shut the up.

[A]

Okay. I just have to turn away.

[C]

Look at that. No Ass. Matt.

[A]

What has the world come to? Alan Osborne. He's younger than me. This fan is younger than me.

[C]

Isn't that crazy? Somebody was driving by and saw. It was like, 91 1.

[B]

Somebody drove by and saw that. You saw. They saw that with their own eyes.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Imagine you're like, all right, get it. Oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

You think it's like, oh, you stop. You reverse.

[C]

Just somebody.

[A]

Whoa.

[C]

Nice.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

That's not. And he's just, like.

[B]

He's loving it so much. He doesn't stop. He sees you and he doesn't stop. He's just in. In his, like, zone.

[C]

Zayn this. You're next. That's. Dude, I would freak out.

[B]

Dude, I. I've never seen somebody with so much hair everywhere but their head.

[C]

Like, but they said it's weird because the story said it was roadkill.

[A]

Yes, it was roadkill. A dead deer.

[C]

Who sees that on the side of the road? It's like, you know what? I got, like, a couple minutes to spare.

[B]

He's literally the definition, like, textbook definition of quickie.

[C]

They did not have to show Bambi like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

To let you know how cute deers.

[A]

He can't even look in the camera with his mug shot. That is. You know.

[B]

You know, the people at the office are just all, like, just. Just sick.

[C]

Yeah. The lady at the. The check in, like, okay, and what. What did you do? And what are we.

[B]

He's younger than that. He's 32.

[C]

I know. That's what I just said.

[B]

He looks like he's 50. Nothing wrong with 50 year olds, though. But he's looking rough for his age. Yo, why do, like, he low key, like, has my nose and my.

[A]

I'm doing so good in life.

[C]

This is.

[B]

You know what?

[A]

I needed to hear this story. Life is good. I'm killing it.

[B]

Sometimes you do need to hear like this to really make you think.

[C]

Like, just. Just to be so happy that those thoughts don't even cross your mind.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. No, like, it's truly, like.

[A]

Makes me concerned for a lot of people, though. Yeah, a lot of people get help.

[B]

But, like, like, to me, it's just like, it's. It's so sad at the same time, like, for you to have that much of a problem where you have to stop at the side of the road and you have to get it in. Bambi dad is insane to me.

[A]

Oh, gosh.

[B]

It's like such a sickness. You like?

[A]

Yeah, I feel.

[B]

I. I feel. I feel bad for him.

[A]

Did you see. Speaking of getting arrested, see Shia LaBeouf getting arrested in Mardi Gras?

[C]

I want to see the full video.

[A]

Oh, when he headbutts the guy.

[C]

Yeah, I want to see the actual fight. I just keep seeing the before and the after.

[A]

It's not. It's not as, like, crazy as you think it is, but, like, he basically.

[C]

What happens in the fight.

[A]

What happens in the fight from the video I saw there on a corner of a street, Shia labeoufs causing some ruckus, pushing some guys, and then one dude comes up, gets in his face. Oh, and then he punches another guy. Yes. Well, basically, Shia LaBeouf is now a resident of New Orleans. Him and Mia Goth apparently separated quietly about a year ago, which I did not know until this. And he's just out causing ruckus, being a menace.

[B]

That's really sad, because I really like him.

[A]

Well, I know Shia LaBeouf is the one actor where I'm like, God damn you, Shia. Damn you. You are so. Get it together. He has abused so many people, past partners, all of it. And every time I think, like, oh, he's finally in a good place, okay, now he's married. They have a kid together. He's gonna be good. He's gonna get it together, and he's right back to where he started. He is. I mean, he's. He's a lot of mental health issues.

[B]

And to me, like, I feel like he's still, like, to me, in my heart, like, he has it. Like, he has a chance still. Like, this is just, like. This is just like a really dark, dark phase in your life. You can still, like, I think people are waiting. I think there's millions of people waiting for him to just, like, get out of this.

[A]

And he could. He really could. I know, but it's at a point where it's like. It's strike three sometimes. How many more where it's like. That's where I get so conflicted to where, you know. Oh, separate the art from the art. This. I'm just constantly disappointed and shy when he messes up because he is one of my, I think, favorite actors. Like, yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Always delivers in whatever role he's in. And in the beginning, when people were just Posted, oh, Shia LaBeouf is out and about, just at Mardi Gras getting drunk. I was like, okay, take it easy. But that's kind of cool. Maybe he's just method acting, getting some research in, but nah, caused a bunch of ruckus. But like, it's wild. Also that ego and level of fame where you know you're so famous and everywhere you go people are like, oh my gosh, you, you, you. And when you get to that level, you kind of want to be a person to escape from it. Like, no, I'm not gonna go walk around random streets. And I'm like, I'm a public figure. Everyone's gonna be stopping me. But he just like doesn't give a. Yeah, it's just a crazy mindset to be in.

[B]

But also, dude, I feel like. I feel like his childhood is probably really.

[A]

Oh yeah. See honey boy, man, it's.

[B]

Yeah. All right, brief pause for our sponsor. Hello Fresh. So I love, love, love home cooking. The warm cozy kitchen, nothing but an apron. Man's on like, I mean business. There's just one issue, a skill issue. You can call me Bobby Slay, cuz whatever I'm about to whip up is sure to kill your appetite. That's why I love using hellofresh. It makes my weeknights stress free. Everything shows up perfectly portioned out, the directions are easy to follow, and suddenly I'm making a real meal instead of a macaroni surprise or shark tatoes followed by a hospital Visit. They've got 100 plus recipes every week including cuisines from around the world. Plus 35 plus high protein options with new Mediterranean and GLP1 friendly choices. And the quality is legitness, sustainably sourced seafood and 100 antibiotic and hormone free chicken. They even have three times the seafood for no upcharge. And if you want to feel fancy, you can grab grass fed steak, rib eyes, plus seasonal produce like pears, apples and asparagus. Because when dinner tastes this good, nothing hits like home cooking. And guys, if I needed this product, this is what I'd use. It's honestly the best. Make sure to go to hellofresh.com unfiltered10fm to get 10 free meals plus a free Zwilling night knife. A 144.99 value on your third box. Offer valid while supplies last. Free meals applied as discount on first box. New subscribers only. Varies by plan. Again, go to hellofresh.com unfiltered10fm to get 10 free meals plus a free Zwilling knife. Thank you hellofresh for sponsoring today's episode. We love you. You know I've always loved this style.

[A]

Oh, his just his norm course street style, his clothes.

[B]

Dude, I like I wish I could go through his closet. It. Dude, I would pay a lot of money to be able to go through this.

[A]

But he also rocks it because he's Shia LaBeouf.

[B]

I know it's a little borderline because if I, If I tried that, I

[A]

mean, you have Shia LaBeouf esque, like, accents to your fits.

[B]

Don't make fun of my shorts. It's the only thing that fits me right now. It's this. Like, you know, because like a year ago I tossed out all my old big shit and I bought all this new stuff because I was so excited that I was like, in.

[C]

And you're like, I will never go back to that.

[B]

And now I like, I. This is like, I. I can only fit in three things right now. I have like 20 pants that I can't even fit in anymore. I can't even button. I can't.

[C]

I refuse.

[B]

I refuse to buy new pants. I will not buy. I don't care. I don't care if I wear the same shit. I refuse to buy it because I will not fucking buy big pants again. I need to. I need to go. I need to fit in my fucking. My nice pants that I bought. I spent so much money on, bro. My entire closet. I spent so much money.

[C]

I just had to go to the mall and buy new pants. They, like, nothing was fitting me. I've got like two pairs of pants that fit me now.

[A]

Oh, and it's the worst when you, like, open up your closet and you have your favorite jeans and then there's those other ones where you're like, I can't even. I don't know.

[B]

I can't fit in any of my favorite jeans.

[A]

Yeah. That's why I only wear, like, if there's a pair of jeans I like. I just buy a bunch of them in different shades and just wear those Wranglers.

[B]

You don't have to buy in different sizes.

[A]

Well, like, that's why I always buy like a size up too. Just in case there's a little like, you know what?

[B]

I.

[A]

Because we're a belt.

[B]

I. I bought. I bought like these black pants. This. A few months ago. And they're great.

[C]

They're.

[B]

They go from like, it's. It's, you know, the big boy pants where it goes for. Between sides, like 32 to 36. It has like this thing on the side where you can pull it and it like, works as like a. Yeah,

[C]

it's like a little adjustment and it looks.

[B]

And it looks good for like all those sizes. I Think they should just make every pants like that.

[A]

Right.

[C]

If you have, like a big meal, you could, like, loosen it a bit.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Throughout the day.

[B]

They can, they just won't. Because it's not like the. Not the thing to do. It's not the hot thing to do. It's like, we're back at the Tyra Banks days. It's up, man.

[A]

And I hate buying pants online because you see them, you're like, damn, that looks really good. The model is just rocking them, but you're like.

[B]

Because the mannequin, you have to try

[A]

on in person too. Like, I hate, like. And then you get them in the mail, you put them on and you're like. And then you're like, now I gotta send these back.

[B]

Which. Which I'm surprised. Why? Like, Danielle, does all the girls love shopping online. And in my head I was like, I feel like girls are more picky with what it looks like on them than guys. Like, I feel like, me, I never online shop because it's most likely not going to look good on me. Most likely. So in my head it was like, I'm surprised. Girls love online shopping. I would be so sick of returning half my shit every single.

[A]

They love it because it's just another reason to go back to the store, go shopping again. It's another reason to go out.

[B]

I meant online shopping, returning.

[A]

No, but I know, but I don't know. Sometimes returning. Well, I feel like Patricia buys stuff from Zara and then she has to go back to Zara to return it, and then she comes back with a bunch of other things from Zara and then we're going back to Zara.

[C]

I just feel like, listen, you know you're going to return this in three days when it comes, just go there now and get the size you want.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you guys like shopping?

[C]

Yes, I do. I do. When I'm happy with my weight. Like right now, I can't. I can't even drive by a mall.

[B]

You take that, you. You take the other route. Like, I can't.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I can't look at it. You're right, though, Heath. It is fun.

[A]

I just, I think shop. Like, I just. When I see things I like, I save it in a folder. Yeah. And I go, things I want. It's just a way of, like, mentally being like, I'm not buying it now, but I'm just putting it. I don't want to forget about Mary Cart. And if I keep thinking about it and I'll. I'll go months and then If I'm like, I've thought about it a lot since then, I'm going to buy it.

[B]

I know that we, a lot of us, we use notepad for a lot of things. I think they need to come up with another app like notes where it's more friend, like user friendly for like saving like because I know you can put links on there and like Notes is a great place to like make like a bullet list and they just gotta like, they gotta make one that's like a little bit like a little bit better where you can like almost have it like somewhat of a excel sheet but it's like not that difficult.

[A]

I just want to be able to move the bullets around. Yeah.

[B]

Easy. Just easy.

[A]

I'm always like deleting and spacing and I'm like, I just want it to be very smooth. Smooth.

[B]

Yeah. It's like I feel like you need like an iPad with like the pen in order to do.

[A]

Notion's really good. Are you working on notion? Is this notion? Yeah, yeah. Notion's awesome.

[B]

What's. What's notion?

[A]

It's a note taking dashboard. You can have a bunch of tabs and stuff like that. I loved it for a bit but now I'm all about.

[B]

You could move around. That's nice.

[A]

Zane, how did your Indian dancing routine? I was very impressed by this Bollywood production that you posted.

[B]

So for the past like couple years I've always wanted to do one for the video. For a video. I just think it's funny. Like it's so left out of like left field too like to do it. But what's for people that like have been watching us for a long time, they know that I grew up around a lot of Indian movies, Indian culture and Pakistani culture and that was like my whole life. And the song that I danced to in that was from a movie I've seen over a hundred times growing up. Cubby Gushy Cubby gum.

[A]

Yes. You love that one. The tool. We watched it one time at your house. Yeah. The final scene. The wedding. The wedding, yes.

[B]

It's. It's crazy. The ballad movies are like, they're like three and a half hours, three and a half hours long. It's insane. And half of it is choreographed like musicals and they are insane. Nowhere as close as this. This is all I could do. I couldn't do more than this. But I just wanted to do it because you know, I, I as soon as I, as soon as I came with the idea in my head I was like, this is going to make hidayah my stepmom and my dad. So happy. So I. That's why I wanted to do it. And I had, I had Hidayah send them a video before I posted. I was like, hey, record the reaction and while they watch it. So I. I got to see the reaction while watching it. I. It was so worth it. I was like, oh my God, that's great.

[A]

Cuz we.

[B]

So like this was just like all we saw, all we watched.

[A]

Okay, big question. Where did you find these gals?

[B]

Bella, these women.

[A]

Pardon me?

[B]

Bella found them, okay.

[A]

Bella found them.

[B]

Like you. I think through different sites and what, like, you know, whatever of where you'd find different dancers and what style and. And she found one and then she herself sourced three other. Because I, you know, they all follow each other. Like dancers all follow each other. So I think she just.

[A]

And are you doing the exact dance from the movie or did they say, like, I have what we should do.

[B]

She choreographed.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, the girl on the. The girl on the right, right now, she. She came up with a whole day, dude. Like, when I walked in, I was like 10 minutes late. They were there for like 10 minutes. They got the whole thing down.

[C]

That's crazy.

[B]

She came up with it and they learned it all in like before I walked in.

[C]

I don't get how they're so good. Memorizing Coro like that. It makes no sense to me.

[A]

Ms. Juicy.

[B]

Ms. Juicy's comment.

[A]

The flame emojis. Yeah, baby, that's for you.

[B]

Get it. Oh, look, Spotify India even commented. They're like, can we get a. Can we get a Sajanji G performance? I don't know who that is, but I'm going to look him up after we finish here. Give him a little part two, you know, keep them, keep them waiting, keep them guessing. So many Indians, by the way, saw this. I saw the demographic of people that watch this.

[C]

This really?

[B]

Like 15.

[A]

Oh, you're on to something.

[B]

Yeah, it's crazy. I. The thing is in my head, I. Because, dude, social media is so big in India. There's. Because, dude, there's more people. I. I'm pretty sure there's more people in India than in the United States, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

It's so big. Social media is insane out there. We just don't really see it from our end. And I already had like my top five. The fifth one is India just because so many people are on the Internet. So like, in my head it was like, like, I feel like if I post this, no one in the Us is gonna see it, right? It's just all gonna go to India, which. Which I. Which I love. Like, that's so funny. And, dude, so many different Indian, like, Bollywood actors, Bollywood dancers are all, like, commenting, liking it. I'm seeing all the notifications, and to me, that's so cool.

[A]

You might get castaned in something maybe.

[B]

Maybe, you know, just like a small little role. You know, just like a small little campaign. Nothing big. Dude, I'm like the face of, like a. Of like a Indian. Indian, like, cologne, where I'm just, like the. Just the face of it out there. Billboards there. Nobody knows here, but I'm just like, yes. You know, just like, maybe that. Maybe that's where I move instead of Nashville. You know what I mean?

[A]

Okay. Who knows?

[C]

Well, they already. They already have the. The. The hottest man in India. Did you see him? The Justin Bieber guy?

[B]

They. They have a Justin Bieber.

[A]

Oh, is he that older guy who has, like, the haircut and, like, walks

[C]

around looking like him, but he's, like, the hottest thing over there and, like, everybody, like, stops him.

[B]

Him.

[C]

He's like. He's, like, super famous. I just always get videos.

[B]

Oh, my God. That is Justin Bieber.

[C]

I always get videos of, like.

[B]

I haven't seen him.

[C]

People, like, fangirling over him.

[B]

Dude, he.

[A]

Bro, he could, like, look, look, look, look, look.

[B]

Dude, he does have. He has a star quality, star face.

[C]

Yeah, no, I think it was he. I think he did something that, like, went viral and then everybody just, like, became obsessed with him, you know?

[B]

You know what, what videos are my favorite favorite that I see that are from India. You know, the videos where, like, a lady is, like, making everybody drinks and it's just like, she's opening all the spray bottles and pouring it. She's, like, squeezing in limes in each one. But, like, people will edit on top of it, putting, like, gun like, oh,

[C]

yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[B]

Those are my favorite videos.

[A]

You know what? I kind of want to try one.

[B]

Dude, it looks great. And I bet you it's good, too.

[A]

Like, one with a little bit more sanitary conditions because I'm always, like, blown away by, you know, how loose they do it out there. But I'm always like, what does that taste like?

[B]

The thing is, I think it's going to be a little bit too spicy. Like, the spice is going to be much in there. I think I just want it, like, knocked back. Knocked back down a little bit.

[A]

Is it, like, bright? It's Sprite with a little bit of spice.

[B]

Yes, It's a little bit of spice. I think it's like. I feel like it's like a cumin type spice where it's like paprika, cumin.

[A]

Yeah. I bet it's refreshing on a hot day in India. Like, Bet you.

[B]

Bet you it is.

[A]

But yeah, like.

[B]

Like, what is that powder? And it looks. So there's something about it.

[A]

We should make them.

[B]

We got to find out what that.

[C]

This is my swig order.

[A]

Order what?

[C]

My swig order.

[B]

What's swig?

[C]

The soda shop out here.

[A]

Oh, swig. Is that, like, what a lot of Mormons also, like, drink, too, out in Utah. Yeah. Patricia and I saw one out in Brentwood when we were out.

[C]

It's the best. It's the best.

[A]

They have a bunch of different flavored sodas, right.

[C]

And all sorts of mixes. Like, that's like your bar, Zane. I'll take you. Dude. I'm obsessed.

[A]

But no caffeine, right? Yeah, there is caffeine in it.

[C]

So you could do, like, the regular sodas.

[B]

Like, yeah, different sodas.

[C]

They have all sorts of different stuff.

[A]

Stuff. Okay. Mormons can consume caffeine, but they. They don't drink coffee or tea.

[C]

Yeah. That's why they drink energy drinks.

[B]

Okay, that makes no fucking sense. Why? The prohibition is not specific against caffeine itself, but rather specifically against hot drinks, which have historically been defined as coffee and tea.

[A]

It's in the word of wisdom. It's in their religion. It's like loophole, I guess that's like,

[B]

bless me and non bless me. It's like. It's like they're both me, but one of them is just.

[A]

They have a loophole.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Of getting that caffeine.

[B]

Caffeine is so interesting to me. Like, why?

[C]

That's just like that. When. During that time, there was no such thing as energy drinks or soda. It was just like.

[A]

And coffee was a vice.

[C]

Like, yeah, it's just coffee.

[A]

All right.

[B]

To me. To me, energy drinks, they're like. They're the devil.

[C]

But what's crazy, though, Zayn, did I tell you? I remember when I went to Utah and hung out with Shonduras.

[B]

That was a long time ago. Yeah.

[C]

We were at the cabin, and it was just like a bunch of the guys, and we were like. Like, hanging out, playing board games and stuff, and we were just crushing beers. And he pulled up with a 24 rack of Dr. Pepper and he was going can for can with us. Like, dude, by the end of the night, he had, like, 12 Dr. Peppers.

[B]

I'm like, no way, bro. Oh, how do you. How do you stomach that?

[C]

That sounds more diabolical to me than drinking 12 beers.

[A]

That's a lot of sugar, dude.

[B]

More than once. More than once. No, no. It's not even the show. Diet. Even Diet Coke. Like, you can't drink more than fucking one of those. And like, like, you. You could probably drink like two to three a day for the whole day, but 12 in one sitting?

[C]

It's. It's the same as the whole the cheese stick theory. Like, would you sit there and eat like 10 cheese sticks? Probably not. But you deep fry them, dunk them in marinara, and it's like, yeah, bring them on.

[A]

Yeah, I'll do it.

[B]

So insane how that works.

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

But he. The thing is that it's because it tastes better. You know what I mean? Why is it, like, not heavy on your stomach? That, like, the. The melted cheese with the deep fried around it and like. What is it?

[C]

Oh, I did. I did. Homemade chips.

[A]

Very good.

[B]

He. You are living like a Mormon.

[C]

Half homemade. It wasn't like tortilla chips. Yeah. I just had a bunch of tortillas that were about to go bad.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And we had made tzatziki sauce.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

So I was like, you know what? I kind of wanted, like, the zip chips in it. So I just cut them into triangles and then baked them.

[A]

Baked them? Not air fried. Baked them.

[C]

Yeah. Because I had a bunch. I would have done the air fryer, but mine is smaller.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

So I just put them on a sheet and then I baked them.

[B]

Oh, it came out good.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I have a nasty little habit where I'll go get chips and then I'll put my cheese sticks on top of it and then I microwave it so the cheese isn't like everywhere on the chips. I just have these huge cloves, just centralized. Melted mozzarella sticks. And then I'll like, dip into the chunks. Oh, boy.

[B]

That's like that.

[A]

But it tastes so good.

[B]

That's like type of you eat when you're on. What's that? What's that drug to help you sleep.

[A]

Like a weird ambient craving midnight snack.

[B]

Stay up for a little too long, you start eating weird.

[A]

That's like.

[B]

That's like something you'd eat. No, I get that. I grew up eating cheesy triangles is what we called it, where you would just put cheese on top of chips and microwave it. And that was like.

[A]

I love that. That was a big.

[B]

That was. But we were budgeting.

[A]

But I didn't have the che. I didn't have any of the shredded cheese. I only had my cheese sticks. And I was like, all right, I guess I'm just gonna.

[B]

But, you know, I bet you that tasted better.

[A]

Yeah. Patricia came by, was like, what are you doing? I'm like, nothing. Just go to.

[C]

Don't worry about it.

[A]

Don't worry.

[B]

Don't worry about yourself.

[C]

You could have at least, like, done the, the strings and then kind of laid those out across.

[A]

I could have. I could have. But I like the glob. Get my little cheese.

[B]

Pull in something N again. It's like the deep fried mozzarella, right?

[A]

And mozzarella doesn't really go well with, like. It's like a nacho cheese kind of, Right? Yeah. Like, you want more of, like, cheddar? Like.

[B]

Yeah, no, I, I, I'd eat. I'd rather eat chips with mozzarella than cheddar. I also don't like cheddar. I don't know. There's something about cheddar. It's weird. I. The only time I like cheddar is when I cut it in little squares and I put it on my wrist cracker. That's the only time I like it. The only time I like it. It's insane. I don't like it any other time.

[C]

Are you a Swiss guy? You like Swiss?

[B]

No, I like, I like. Bruce. What's it called?

[C]

Go ahead.

[B]

What's that cheese? The ball of cheese in Italy. Italian cheese.

[A]

Like the bruschetta? No, that's.

[C]

That's just a mozzarella ball.

[B]

No, not mozzarella. No, no, no, no, no.

[A]

Brie.

[B]

No, no, you. Or you'll order at restaurants. It's like a ball.

[C]

Oh, burrata.

[B]

I like burrata, mozzarella, provolone and parmesan.

[A]

Those are good cheeses. A lot of white cheeses.

[B]

Yeah, but that's all I like.

[C]

Yeah, it seems like he has a favorite over here.

[A]

Yeah, you really like the white stuff.

[C]

Before we continue, this episode is brought to you in part by Cash App. And Cash App is my go to when I need to pay someone fast. It's basically two taps and done. Also, using the Cash App card is great. It's like a debit card, but tied to your Cash App balance and you can use it anywhere. Visa is accepted in person or online, and Cash App just released a new status program for the way people actually spend called Cash App Green, and unlocks new ways for you to pay, get rewarded, and easily grow or manage your money on your terms. Now, when you spend at least $500 a month with the Cash App card or Cash App Pay you earn green status, which unlocks benefits like up to $200 of free overdraft coverage, higher borrow limits and custom personalized cash back offers every Friday at places you love to shop. So turn everyday spending into status with Cash App Green. Download Cash App today or visit Cash App App New to learn more about this and other great features. Launching now and for a limited time, new Cash App Customers can earn $10 if they use the code CASH APP10 in their profile at signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash App is a financial service platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's Bank Partners Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton bank member FDIC Cash App Green Overdrive coverage Borrow Cash Back offers and promotions provided by Cash App a Block Inc. Brand. Visit Cash App Legal PO for full disclosures. Thank you Cash App for sponsoring this podcast. We love you Belize.

[A]

Oh yeah, I was in Belize this past. What were you doing in Belize? Had a little bit of a brand deal. I don't know if I could say it yet on who it was with, but yeah, I was in Belize.

[B]

Can you say what you were doing?

[A]

Dare to promote an airline that now can fly there from Fort Lauderdale. I was in Fort Lauderdale also for one night. Had a great time. Hibachi in Fort Lauderdale. Oh, what was the name of it? Start with an S and it's by the Regal Cinema near the airport. Airport. Like it's this whole area of shops. There's like a putt putt place. There's like a bunch of bars.

[C]

Damn. Has changed since we lived there. No idea what he's talking.

[A]

Definitely is like a newer shopping development

[B]

and I don't feel like it would Is it city?

[A]

It's right near the airport and Dania beach. That's where it was. Dania Beach. So I was just spent a night there and went to the Regal Cinema because the AMC. Y' all need more AMCs on Fort Lauderdale. Wanted to use my AMC pass but it was like way too long of a drive and I was like damn it, I'll go to a Regal.

[B]

I thought we I thought we had enough.

[A]

Y' all had like one but it was like a 30 minute drive from our hotel and there was a movie theater just walking distance.

[B]

There's an AMC by our house. That's probably the one that it was taking. I you should have stopped and said hi to my mother.

[A]

I know. All of it crossed my Mind. But we were only there for a couple of hours, so we just decided to have dinner and a movie and went to the Regal. Well, you know, Regal, if you. I obviously assume they have their own membership as well. Yeah. For us, just to get movie tickets. Two drinks, a large popcorn. It was $89.

[C]

No way.

[A]

Just about. It was absurd. And we did get, like, the big, big drinks and the big, big popcorn because we were gonna go see Withering Heights and we were just like, let's get the big stuff. But it was damn expensive. But I will say the popcorn at Regal Cinema is some of the best popcorn I think I've ever had.

[C]

No way.

[A]

Cause I'm an AMC guy. I eat the AMC popcorn. And that's all I know is just AMC pop popcorn you make at home and you microwave. It was like. Like there was a crunch.

[B]

Do you know. Do you know if every Regal has the same popcorn?

[A]

I would assume they probably do, because every AMC popcorn tastes the same to me.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But it was good plug.

[C]

Are they. Are they popping Orville or what's.

[A]

You know what? I don't know. But I was so impressed the whole time I was eating it. I'm like, damn, I'm feeling a crunch. Because AMC's popcorn, after you start chewing it, sometimes it, like, you have to squish it out. And it's like, it feels like a little smush piece of cardboard up in your back mol.

[C]

Which tells me it tastes like it's got moisture.

[B]

You need to up your popcorn. Like, I shouldn't be having to pull popcorn out of my mouth.

[A]

So according to the Internet, it says they believe that they use. What is it?

[B]

Orville?

[A]

Oh, a location can have a different brand.

[B]

Oh, you see?

[A]

Well, whatever they're using down at the Dania Beach Regal Movie Theater, get that all going. I loved it. Best popcorn. My only thing. Couldn't tell a Pepsi. I don't know if Coca Cola has a monopoly on the Freestyle machine, but regular Regal is only Pepsi products, and they can only. And it's, I swear, only, like, six options. There's not even Mountain Dew on it. Sorry. Pepsi. It's just. It's a simple line.

[B]

That's the only reason why I love them Pepsi machines. Because they had Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew. Blast or Mountain Dew. Sorry.

[A]

Yes. Bring out the whole lineup of all the Pepsi products. Regal Theater. I. It's a movie theater. Yeah. Not even a Cherry Pepsi. Not even Cherry Pepsi.

[B]

That's so that's it.

[C]

And you could even just add cherry to it.

[A]

See, it Only, like, six little options there.

[B]

Oh. Oh, hell no.

[A]

There was Mountain Dew.

[C]

At least you had Mountain Dew.

[B]

At least you had Dole.

[A]

You want a little bit of Dole?

[B]

Tropican. The fact that they made two of them juices. Who the hell. That's crazy.

[A]

But it was a nice theater. Like, I. Regal. Regal's kind of cool. If I. If I live close to one, I would go. And if all my friends had Regal passes, I get a regal pass.

[B]

Matt, beyond honest. Be honest.

[A]

What?

[B]

Was Wuthering Heights as good as these girls, as the girls are making out to be?

[A]

No, because all the ones. All the videos you're seeing of people reacting, those are all ads for the movie.

[B]

Oh, they're crying, like, yeah.

[A]

When people are like, oh, they're all. To me, all the ones that have been coming up have been ads. And okay, listen, the movie was good. It's better than the book, which I hated reading and did. I think it was the best movie ever? No. Did Patricia cry? Yes. Was I dazzled? Yes. Was I bored? Huh? Huh? I was bored a lot. So that's my take on it. It was lovely, but I was really bored.

[B]

Rate it one to ten. What?

[A]

What? Are you going to put a three out of five? But it was a close two and a half stars for me. But, like, stepping back, I was like. It was styled really well. I love the settings. The acting was really good. Like, there were elements to it that made it worth a three. But it.

[C]

I got to say, I hate the grading scale. Out of four, five.

[A]

Why you think

[B]

10?

[C]

When I hear three out of five, I'm like, I don't know if that's good or bad.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. So to me, a three out of five would be 70% or, well, 65%.

[B]

It.

[C]

That's bad to me.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's not like, so you're looking at it, like, academically, like, right.

[C]

Like, if you. If you told me, like, yeah, seven out of ten, I'd be like, all right, it's. It's got to be decent.

[B]

That's. That's really fun.

[C]

If you were like, yeah, I give it a 65 out of 100, I'd be like, I would never see it.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, three. Three out of five to me is like, I didn't feel like I wasted my time nor my money seeing it. And I don't think you. I think it's worth watching. 2.5 is like, I feel like I wasted some time.

[B]

Oh, you see, like, if I. If someone told me a movie Was three out of five. I'm not gonna even watch it. I'm not gonna even watch it for free.

[A]

Okay. Some three out of five movies are good. Like, you're like, okay, that was fun. It was a decent movie.

[B]

It was fine. But, like, I don't want to. Like every movie that I want to watch, I want to watch a four out of five. Or a five, like, correct. I just don't want to waste my time.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

So, like, if I know that me personally would think it's a three out of five after watching it, I never. I would never want to watch it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I. I want to be. I want to be floored. Everything I watch, I think.

[A]

Yeah. You know what I mean?

[B]

Like, that's how I want to spend my time.

[C]

The budget. The budget is way too high. The cameras are too nice, the actors are too good and way too paid to be given out. 60.

[B]

Exactly. Exactly. Heath.

[C]

It needs to be perfection. And y' all spend a year to do it.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, and I will go into Belize soon. But also, we're on movies. Did you hear Jacob Elordi was offered James Bond?

[B]

I. I don't. I don't think that's really. I don't think that's a good.

[A]

You don't think he's a good pick? No, I also.

[C]

I don't either.

[A]

I don't think he should take it at all.

[B]

I. I don't think he should.

[A]

Jacob right now is like, is he. I think he's nominated for an Oscar for Frankenstein. If he's not, forgive me, but he's lined up right now as an actor to be. Be a total Oscar contender always. The James Bond contract is a big, long contract, and you don't really get nominated for Oscars for playing James Bond. It.

[B]

He. You could.

[A]

You could, but rarely does it happen.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think it should go to someone who's, like, has been around the block, could use a big boost in their fame and their notoriety because Daniel Craig was good, you know, and he did other movies on the side, like Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and.

[B]

But. But once. But like, you're James Bond. You are. You will always be James Bond. It's. You're very.

[C]

Going to pigeonhole him.

[A]

And not to be a purist, James Bond, I think, should be British or at least from the uk. Sean Connory was, what, Scottish or Irish? You should be from the uk. So I was hearing that there were talks one about Callum Turner, Dua Lipa's husband. You know who he is?

[B]

Yeah, I didn't I, I wasn't the biggest fan of his performance in the last movie, but. What do you call it? But he. I feel like he has the look.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

For James Bond.

[A]

Yeah, he has the look, he has the charm. He. Hashness. I think he's a good one. Also, Aaron Taylor, John person, too, who, you know, he's been in Kick Ass. He's been in a bunch of movies. He has that really old wife who's like 12 years older than him. No, I thought. Well, I thought he kind of has the charm. Heath.

[B]

You know who I could see as James Bond? The. The. What's his name? From the Jackal of the hot.

[A]

The Day of the Jack.

[B]

Oh, the day of the Jack. Him. He would be a perfect James Bond.

[A]

Oh, him. Eddie Redmayne. He's too famous. He's too famous.

[B]

Oh, he's too famous. Someone. You need someone not. Not as famous.

[A]

No. And also, who's the guy who was on White Lotus? See, the. Not the last season, but the season before James.

[B]

Oh, he was. I loved him. And the. What's that? The gentleman. Yeah. Honestly, I, I would. I think he. I think he's the top contender for me, out of all the names that we just said. But he's.

[C]

He's really good. I just think it needs to be an older, like. Like it. The whole thing about Bond is, like, he's an older, handsome, silver foxy type guy.

[A]

Hold on, wait. Really? Like, okay, he wasn't.

[B]

Oh, silver foxy.

[C]

Not necessarily like silver fox, but like,

[A]

he needs to be at, what, in his 40s?

[C]

40, like, 45?

[A]

Well, Theo James is 41 and Callum Turner is like our age.

[C]

But he looks young. Like, Theo looks like he's like 25.

[B]

All right, okay. Do you think. You think Callum Turner is a better option?

[A]

I think he's a good investment. Like, I think it's, what, 10 years? You're gonna do probably six movies over the course of 10 years.

[B]

You're. You're right.

[A]

He has.

[C]

He has a good Bond look.

[B]

I will say he does.

[A]

He does.

[B]

I. I like the James better as, like, an actor.

[C]

Yeah, me too.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

I think, I think. I think Theo is better. But.

[A]

But Jacob, if you're listening or watching, don't take it. Do not take it. I don't think you should take the role. You are the next Christian Bale right now. I think you shouldn't take a franchise film like this.

[B]

But, like, I, but even, even outside of it, like, it, like, pigeonholing him. Whatever. I. I just don't Think. I just don't think it fits him. I just don't think it's the right casting for him. Like, he should not be the next James Bond. It just doesn't make sense. We don't have a lot of franchises right now that, like, that we. We can be proud of. You know what I mean? Mission Impossible. We can be proud of James Bond. We can be proud of, like. Let's not fucking ruin it. Let's not ruin those.

[A]

Well, the director is going to be Denis Villanueva, so Butcher. His last name. The guy who did, like, Blade Runner. He did. Oh, my gosh. Dune.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

He's like, a phenomenal director. He's gonna be directing at least the first one of this new franchise on whoever they pick, so I'm pumped.

[B]

What if. What if I was James Bond?

[A]

Yo, that'd be really cool.

[B]

That's a crazy reaction.

[A]

I think that'd be really cool.

[B]

I think I can do it. I think I can. I. I think. I think. I think I'd be swooned.

[C]

Like, I want to see Zayn do, like a. A car slide on a hood. Just, like, try to be. That's a good test.

[B]

Like. Like, five different things that James Bond can do that you need to be

[C]

able to look cool at.

[B]

Yeah. And you need to, like. You need to make it look cool, too. Like, not only can you do it, can you make it look good doing it.

[A]

I just want to know who the secret agents are, like, out in the real world. Like, who is the James.

[C]

Actually is.

[B]

Every time there is.

[A]

I'm watching James Bond now kind of for the first time, because I've really have never seen them. I know that's bad, but it's like, I've always wanted. I've wanted to commit to a marathon of them, but every time, like, James Bond's getting in all these shenanigans, nearly dying, going on all these chases. If I was a secret agent, I'd be like, yo, I'm done. Like, that mission was already enough for me. Can I retire?

[B]

You know? But. But also, he's making so much money. Oh, exactly.

[A]

Do one mission and be done.

[B]

No, I don't retire. I don't think it works like that. I don't think you get to leave whenever you want. That's. That's the thing about these, like, agencies. Are these, like, top secret because they're orphans?

[A]

They have no family. They have nothing. All they have is the job.

[B]

No, that's the fucking movie, right?

[A]

Well, I don't know.

[B]

I'm saying in real life, I'm pretty sure you can't just do one job and be like, all right, I'm out. Like, you have to probably commit, like, five to ten years at least.

[A]

I'd be like, I'm just having a lot of anxiety today.

[B]

Can I just not do the mission?

[C]

Guys, I really don't feel like flying out to go do this.

[A]

Really.

[B]

Imagine like a Jake Shake Shane as a.

[A]

He'd make. You know what Jake Shane would do? Well, no, he wouldn't, dude.

[B]

He would have a nervous breakdown every.

[C]

But that's like, part of his thing. Like, he seems like a cute little, like, nervous thing.

[B]

You know what? Probably. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, his, you know, his podcasts are all on Netflix. You can go on Netflix literally scroll down twice and he hit all his episodes. He was just on Broadway too, that I. I.

[A]

With like, Jenny Slate and a whole bunch of other actors. Have you seen any.

[B]

Have you seen any clips of that or.

[A]

No, I haven't. Well, you can't film Broadway shows. I don't even know what it was. I was just like, congr brats. Amazing. Yeah, that's.

[B]

That's wild. Good for him.

[A]

Anyways, Anyways, I went to Belize. Belize was awesome. Rocked my world. I, like, had, like, I think, good expectations of what it was going to be. It was next level. It was really nice. Yeah. We went to San Pedro, which is like an island out. Like an island, I guess you would say it's an island. A series of, like, islands outside of Belize.

[B]

Oh, you like islands, huh?

[A]

Yeah, I guess I do. Like. Oh, easy, Zane, easy.

[B]

All right.

[A]

But it was. It was spectacular. The views are amazing. I think it's on the up and come. Patricia and I were like, should we move here? Like, they're building some, like, really cool, like, developments out there. But the food was fantastic. Loved it. Loved the beer. Bellican. It was my favorite beer I had the whole time there.

[B]

The beer Bella Belliken.

[A]

It was like their. The beer of Belize.

[B]

Oh, was it like a. Like a. Was it like an ipa?

[A]

No, it's just, I think like a standard, like. Yeah. Ale or like vlogger. Kind of like their course light their country. But I loved it. That's fun.

[C]

How long were we there for?

[A]

Oh, we were there from Friday until Monday morning. We just got back in last night, so. But I would just. I would just recommend travel to Belize. I think Mexico. You go to Mexico. Everyone goes to Mexico. I think Belize is the new hidden gem.

[B]

All right.

[A]

And you can fly there really Cheap now. And it was just cool. Just don't take the ferry. Take the seaplane.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Why is the ferry.

[A]

The ferry was like, 90 minutes, and it was a us and I, and we spent. We spent extra on a ferry that was going to be, like, faster.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And smaller.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But now they just stacked it with people. There wasn't, like, no back support, no cushion, no nothing. And you're just.

[B]

Is that a long ferry? How long does it take to get to Catalina Heath?

[C]

It's just over an hour.

[B]

No. Over an hour. Okay. All right.

[A]

Well, the seaplane is 13 minutes. And by se plane. It's just a plane. It doesn't land in the water.

[B]

Say, it's like. I was about to say, it's also a sea plane, so I think I'd rather take the fair.

[A]

I just think any these types of planes that just jut from island to island, I still call them sea planes. Oh, it was scary. Patricia got picked to go sit in the front with the pilot.

[B]

No way. Wait, so, like, she had to or she wanted to?

[A]

Well, apparently you can request to say if you want to sit up with the pilot. And apparently no one requested. And I don't know if they just thought Patricia was cute. And they were like, ma', am, you need to step aside. And she's like, what. What happened? And I'm like, on the plane, Is everything fine? And Patricia walks around the plane, gets up in the cockpit with the pilot.

[B]

It's probably her size. Was she. Was she the.

[A]

Possibly. But I do know that I had seen Tik Toks saying that if you're interested in sitting up at the pilot and you get there, you can request to sit up at the pilot.

[B]

Matt. While you weren't looking, she was just like, z.

[C]

Z, The. The pilot reaching over just right.

[A]

They were looking pretty cozy in that cockpit.

[B]

He grabs her hand. He's like, here, here.

[C]

He's like, come here. Come grab the wheel. Yeah.

[A]

You want to touch the throttle?

[C]

Go ahead. Now pull this up. Okay,

[B]

that's funny. God, it was probably so tight in there too, huh?

[A]

Oh, my God, the scenery was incredible. So that was like, the best thing to calm down your nerves is looking out the window and just seeing as,

[B]

you know, as long as it's going smooth. Yeah, it's fine. Like, we were on. I was so scared in Sweden. We went on that helicopter, and my God, I was so fucking scared. But it's. It was so smooth where it just like, all your nerves, bro, go away.

[A]

Right?

[B]

It's when it's bumpy when that is like, whipping and bumpy. That's when like, you, like, you. You're. You think you're going to die.

[C]

Doing a SE plane, like an actual. Like one of those ones that land on water would be really fun.

[A]

It is cool. It is. It feels like, nice, like hitting the water. It feels, in a way.

[C]

Have you done it?

[A]

Yeah, I've. I've landed on a seaplane and I've taken off on one that would be.

[B]

Is it smooth?

[A]

Yeah, if. Cuz like, there's not that like, boom that like you get when you land on, you know, general pavement on a tar.

[B]

I didn't know it was like.

[A]

It's a little gentler, like hitting it and you kind of feel like, ah, I have landed.

[B]

Got it.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Maybe one day.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Do those have wheels too? They do, right?

[A]

I believe in the front as a way of like.

[B]

That's cute.

[A]

If you need to tow it onto land.

[B]

That literally looks like gross. Like grocery store shopping cart wheels. The ones that just spin as.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was crazy seeing those. When we were in Alaska and everybody just has their own little plane that they just go from lake to la.

[B]

Oh, that was crazy seeing that.

[C]

Every. We. We went to the lake house and the people that lived there were saying like, everybody just has their own little plane like that because there's so many lakes.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And everybody lives on the water. Said they just take their plane from lake to lake and go visit their friends.

[B]

Didn't he want to like, take somebody on the plane?

[C]

Yeah, I said no.

[B]

And we're like, yeah, fuck that.

[C]

Do you make money doing this? If not, I'm out.

[B]

What's okay? What is okay? So I've been seeing. Is this the monkey where I've been seeing all over my TikTok with the stuff to punch the monkey.

[A]

Monkey.

[B]

What is that?

[A]

Punch the monkey is a monkey that has gone viral on the Internet. This is a monkey at a zoo. I'm not sure on what type of monkey he is. It's at a Japanese zoo and he went viral because I think he's been struggling to bond and make friends with them because I think his, like, mother abandoned him. And there was a clip of one of the elder monkeys yelling at him and kind of like hitting him to stay away from the other monkeys. And he runs across his little, you know, exhibit and cuddles with this stuffed monkey. And the stuffed monkey is like, his only companion. Oh, and I believe the monkey is from ikea. And I think IKEA decided to donate Like a bunch of, you know, new monkeys for Punch.

[B]

His name is Punch?

[A]

Yeah, his name is Punch.

[B]

Oh, when you were saying Punch the monkey, I'm like, oh, my God, that sounds terrible.

[A]

No, not Punch the monkey. Monkey. But it's. Yeah, he's just this cute monkey, and his only companion is this stuffed monkey he carries around with him. So he's just won over all the hearts and souls of everyone across the world.

[B]

I like. I like when, like, cute animals like this go viral. Really?

[A]

Cool. Let's just hope he turns out all right. He's gonna hit puberty, and it's just gonna start causing a ruckus and seeking revenge on everyone in the.

[B]

You know how those child actors are. They get crazy.

[A]

I know, right? They can't handle the attention. So young. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, God, he knows he's cute. Look at him.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, they're just. They're not that attached to him because I don't think those are his maternal parents.

[C]

At least he's got his little.

[B]

Yeah, look at him.

[C]

Oh, my God, that's sweet.

[B]

Oh, thank you for showing us that.

[C]

I needed that.

[B]

I. I really needed it, too. But it is really cute. He has one, like, human handler that he is, like, crazy attached to. Anytime they come in. In to, like, feed them or whatever, just immediately sprints up and jumps and,

[A]

like, hangs on his leg.

[B]

And I would do anything to be that human.

[A]

Yes. I don't want a monkey. I want a friend who has a monkey.

[B]

But you know what? Monkeys are, like, super. They can. They can fucking flip.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Snap at any moment.

[A]

Chimpanzees, man.

[B]

So terrifying. You could be best friends of the chimpanzee for so long, and then all of a sudden, boom.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I'm not fucking with the chimpanzees, pansy. If one. If anybody who owns a monkey is just. It's crazy that you.

[B]

Yeah, it's allowed.

[C]

I want you guys take on this because we got into an argument, a heated discussion at the wedding about it, and it was split, surprisingly split. Pretty 50. 50. What do you think would win in a fight, A gorilla or a bear?

[B]

Oh, I. I think a bear.

[C]

I think I say bear all day.

[A]

Yeah, I. I kind of. I'm going for. I'm going for gorilla. Gorilla, I think, can move around faster. Faster than the bear. And I think it could get behind the bear and smash its spine.

[B]

No, no.

[C]

What is this, a video game? Yeah, I'm just like, bear with claws.

[B]

No, a bear. A dude bears are they. They're strong.

[A]

I Don't know. And we're talking about like a silverback gorilla.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Brown bear. Brown bear. Like the, the big giant grizzly.

[A]

Brown bear, Brown bear. What do you see? A big ass Goril.

[C]

I think, I think grizzly all day.

[A]

Okay, so, okay, then what does AI say? Like, would a gorilla or a bear win? I want to go girl. I know a gorilla could beat a tiger.

[C]

I could see that because I remember

[A]

like Discovery Channel would have these like what would win type TV shows when I was a kid and there was one. A grizzly bear would likely win a fight against a gorilla eight to nine times out of. I know nothing.

[B]

Superior size, weight and weaponry. While a silverback really possesses incredible strength. A grizzly bear, 600 to 900 pounds. That's crazy. Is significantly larger. Four inch claws, a stronger bite and better endurance.

[A]

I always underestimate bears because they don't look that scary to me, but I know they can. You.

[B]

You're seeing black bears. That's why. And black bears are like.

[A]

But I, I don't see them like in a state of aggression as much as I see like, you know, like that picture of that gorilla right now. Like I. Bears I always just see. It's like a video of someone like, oh my gosh. A bear just came up to our house and is digging through our trash.

[B]

It's because we see, we see gorillas, I think much more than you would see like a. The grizzly bears. Like, dude, grizzly bears are like insane and they're huge.

[A]

I know. I just. My brain doesn't think about them enough and knowing the scale and power.

[B]

But imagine trying to fight off a 900.

[C]

It's crazy that, that, that matchup has never happened though, like, because I think

[A]

they're two different biodomes.

[C]

This, this might sound up, but if I had like Epstein money.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, God.

[C]

And. And they were into doing like fucked up shit. Right?

[B]

You're surprised that they don't do that.

[C]

Right?

[B]

Right.

[A]

It probably is being done.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe it is.

[C]

Like because they got all those like beetle videos on YouTube and stuff. Yeah. Like beetles versus scorpions.

[A]

Right.

[C]

It's the same thing. It's just they're smaller.

[B]

For some reason it feels, it feels better to do that when it's actually. It's just as mean pinning animals together like that. Who would wait between a beetle. Between a scorpion.

[C]

See? Exactly. You're curious.

[B]

I'm very curious. I just didn't realize bears were that much bigger. Like, because a gorilla is fucking huge to me. Yeah. It's £350. It's because every like, dude, every time we'd go camping, we'd see bears all the time. But you'd only see the black bears. And even the parents, like the black bear, like the mama black bear, they're nowhere near as destructive as the fucking grizzly bears.

[C]

But like the. The grizzly bear on. Grizzly bear fights are gnarly.

[B]

Oh, my God. I've never seen.

[A]

Bro, what was Goldilocks I'm gonna bust in this house. I think too cold too.

[B]

Do you think it was based off a true story? They should come up.

[C]

They should come inspire.

[A]

Happens at the end of Goldilocks. They're just like, what the.

[B]

I think.

[A]

And then she runs out because she's sleeping in the bed, right? She gets in the baby's bed and goes, this is just right.

[B]

I think she has sex with a bear.

[A]

Don't get the out.

[B]

Wait, she doesn't. I thought that was like the whole.

[A]

She get. No, she breaks into the house.

[C]

She's hungry, and then she. The bear becomes. Becomes a guy.

[A]

Okay, so Goldilocks and three bears ends with Goldilocks waking up to find the bears watching her screaming in fear and jumping out the window to run away, never to return. She escapes unharmed, leaving the bears to find their broken chair and eaten porridge. What's the moral? Oh, don't with bears or don't touch things that are yours.

[B]

I don't know. She's a menace.

[A]

Yes. What's up, guys? Me. Goldilocks here, come with me as I'm gonna break into these bears house.

[B]

I. I do want to see that. I want to see, like, a video of that. Like a girl doing that.

[A]

But what was the moral? Like? We were taught this story all the time. What is the moral of Goldilocks?

[B]

It makes you feel bad for the bears. Maybe be nice to animals. But again, there's no moral to the story, okay?

[A]

The moral of Goldilocks is to respect the property, privacy and boundaries of others. Damn right. Damn right, Goldilocks.

[B]

Even. Even of animals, too. Well, if it was for that guy, I think he'd get in the house and all the three bears. Am I right? What's his name? Name? Alan.

[A]

Oh, you know what old fable used to, like, haunt me was Hansel and Gretel.

[B]

That's a scary. Have you seen the movie that adapted, like the.

[A]

Oh, all the. Hansel and Gretel scare the out of me because that's scary. Because that was like something when I was a kid. I go, I would have fallen for that. You're telling me. I come across this gingerbread house made out of candy and hot pies and everything, and I'm being invited inside, and that witch puts me up in a little cage. Hansel and Gretel.

[B]

Why are they making, like, scary children's stories? You know, like, why has it got to be scary for the kids? Well, because originally they were scary. Like the. The grim fairy tales and stuff has a lot of, like, Disney movie brothers.

[A]

Grim.

[B]

Yeah, the brothers. Yeah. Snow White I would consider pretty scary. Like in Cinderella, in the original story, the stepsisters cut off their toes to try to fit into the glass slipper. Oh, that was the original story.

[A]

Oh, right. Have you seen the Ugly Stepsister? It's like a French film that came out this past year. No, crazy. I mean, it's dark, freaky, but good.

[B]

Is the adaptation of. Is it, like, kind of close to Cinderella?

[A]

It's this dark spin off. It's like a black comedy body horror film of.

[B]

Oh, okay, I'll watch it.

[A]

It's like she's one of the Ugly Stepsisters and Cinder, and she's trying to, like, win over the prince.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And just goes down.

[C]

All right.

[A]

I mean, it's crazy.

[B]

All right. It'll be on my list of things to do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, 86%. I love that.

[A]

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about for everybody. It's not for everybody. Patricia, like, was starting. She was like, what the. Is this? Like, she was a little like.

[B]

No, I love. I love watching movies that make me react like that.

[A]

Yeah, you would with it. Nice.

[B]

All right, I'll report back. I'll watch this tonight.

[A]

Oh, yeah, do it. I think it's on. Yeah, it's on. It's on Disney plus. That's the whole thing with Disney plus right now. Well, Disney plus is now owned by Hulu and, like, AMC and shit. And so they have horror on Disney plus. They have rated R movies on Disney plus.

[B]

Pretty crazy. Crazy. I. Why would they do that?

[A]

Because it's a media company and now owns all of this stuff. Parents want to. If they want to know they're getting their money's worth and they can watch their own shows. They have kids, family.

[B]

I know, but they should. They should change the name of it. I just don't. I don't think it makes sense.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, if it comes with the subscription to Hulu and stuff, too.

[A]

Right? It is, but it's. Yeah.

[B]

All right, well, I'm done. My social battery is kaput, so we're gonna end this episode whether he likes it or not. That was kind of nasty, huh?

[A]

A little bit.

[B]

Sorry. It's.

[C]

It's okay.

[A]

Your batter's out.

[B]

All right, guys, thank you so much for tuning into another episode of Anything Unfiltered. You can check out these episodes every Monday, audio format on all the podcast platforms. Every Tuesday, video form on YouTube.com Zane and Heath, everybody say goodbye to Matt and Jared. Thank them for being here today.

[A]

What? What? Sounds like we're getting dismissed. Like the tribe has spoken.

[C]

Also, make sure to check out our Patreon. Patreon.com Zayn and Heath we keep these cameras rolling for every single episode. We do an unwind and then we also do a bonus episode every month, a live Q A every single month. Every episode is early access and ad free, so make sure to check it out. Patreon.com Zayn and Heath Nice unwinders.

[B]

We'll see you in five seconds.

[A]

We love you.

[C]

Blessings.

[B]

Get some blessings.

[C]

Love you.