326: Finding Out He's Not Actually the Father...

Summary

Zane and Heath: Unfiltered – Episode 325

"His House Got Broken Into Again! TWICE!"
Released: March 30, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Zane, Heath, Matt, and Jared dive into a variety of entertaining and sometimes dark topics, reflecting their signature unfiltered banter. The hosts discuss everything from sports gear quirks, horror movie icons, strange laws, and bizarre news stories, to their own mortality and unique funeral wishes. The theme of personal and public boundaries comes up repeatedly, especially in the advice segment featuring listener call-ins about workplace affairs and unconventional workplaces. The episode crescendos with a chilling true crime story about a pastor breaking into someone’s home, leading to a discussion about trust and exploitation in religious institutions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Scars, Sports Gear, & Athletic Anxieties

• [01:04] Scar Stories: Zane and Matt share stories about scars, with Zane showing off a “badass” scar from a fall in Hawaii and Heath reminiscing about shin injuries from BMX pedals.
• [02:17] Sports Protection & Fashion: They debate the usefulness of shin and knee guards across soccer and football, with a tangent on the “short shorts” trend in college football.
  • Quote: “Their knee pads? ...They wear them like short shorts, and I... how is that possible?” – Heath [02:54]
• [04:42] Pressure on Athletes: The hosts empathize with kickers and goalies, discussing the immense pressure and lack of glory in their roles.

2. Horror Movies & Pop Culture Deep-Dive

• [06:13] Goalie Masks & Iconic Films: The evolution of hockey masks is compared to horror movie monsters, connecting Jason and Michael Myers' masks to real history.
  • Quote: “You know the Michael Myers mask though, is William Shatner.” – Matt [06:49]
• [07:58] Bad Prosthetics: Humorous takes on low-budget horror prosthetics and how “bad” versions are sometimes scarier.
• [10:32] Scream Goes Tropical: The gang pitches their own ridiculous horror movie premises, including a “Scream in Bali” and a luau murder scene.

3. Morbid Curiosities: Gondola Disasters & Underwater Lifehacks

• [11:55] Fatal Gondola Accident: Zane shares his fear of gondolas after a real-life tragedy in the Alps, reflecting on how certain news stories now seem almost AI-generated.
  • Quote: “I literally thought it was AI... but it was not.” – Zane [12:44]
• [14:14] Underwater Vision Hack: The group learns (with genuine surprise) a hands-and-breath trick for seeing underwater without goggles, referencing its potential Navy SEAL origins.

4. Bizarre Laws, Inbreeding, and Horror Movie Realities

• [19:13] Marrying Cousins in Florida: Heath reports Florida lawmakers’ refusal to ban first-cousin marriages, leading to a debate about rural American inbreeding and infamous families like the Whitakers.
  • Quote: “They said, absolutely not. We want to still marry our cousins.” – Heath [19:15]
• [22:32] Empathy Amidst Taboo: Sympathy for those born into inbred families is mixed with horror movie references to The Hills Have Eyes and The Goonies.

5. Meteor Strikes and Mortality

• [27:22] Ohio Meteor Impact: Zane brings up a recent meteor that struck Ohio, complete with sonic booms and fragments found across the state.
  • Quote: “If it's in my backyard, it's my meteor.” – Matt [28:35]
• [31:30–36:10] Funerals & Afterlife Fantasies: Animated debate about burial options, including mausoleums, taxidermy (turns out, it’s illegal for humans in the U.S.), hair plugs for open casket funerals, and comedic tombstone inscriptions.
  • Quote: “If you can marry your cousin, you should be able to be taxidermied.” – Heath [34:56]
• [41:07] Cremation vs. Burial: Matt shares stats: cremation is now chosen by about 63% of Americans, burial by 31%; hosts muse about alternative burials and sentimental urn choices.

6. True Crime: The Pastor Break-In

• [46:42] The Big Story: Zane tells of a woman who caught her pastor burglarizing her house—twice—while she was away, captured via in-home security cameras.
  • Memorable moment: [47:23] Live reaction to the TV news clip revealing the pastor’s identity.
  • Quote: “I was watching... and she notices that the guy that broke into her house is the minister of her church.” – Zane [47:08]
• [49:01–54:45] Motive Speculation: Psychological and sexual theories abound about the pastor’s intentions, as does concern for the culture of megachurches and the power some pastors wield.

7. Megachurches, Exploitation, and Hypocrisy

• [54:45] Controversy: The hosts critique the financial practices of megachurch leaders, highlighting notorious figures like Kenneth Copeland and Jesse Duplantis, who claim private jets are necessary for ministry.
  • Quote: “Jesse Duplantis argued he needed a fourth private jet because Jesus wouldn't be riding a donkey.” – Caller [58:28]

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Listener Call-In Advice Segment

[59:12–74:49]
A new segment where listeners submit their dilemmas, met with humor and candid advice.

• [59:43] Workplace Affair:

  • A listener asks how to handle two married coworkers openly having an affair in the office.
  • Advice: Don’t intervene unless you’re directly involved; maybe set up a work event where spouses are invited to “let it unfold.”
  • Quote: “Let it unfold in front of everyone’s eyes.” – Heath [63:53]

• [65:00] Cult-Like Hair Salon:

  • Caller describes a salon where the higher-ups (some siblings!) all live together and party, possibly involving incestuous relationships.
  • Advice: Stay if it’s entertaining and safe, but look for alternative jobs if uncomfortable.

• [67:36] When Will Heath Let His Son Date?

  • Heath: “You can’t do that until you’re in high school. Right. Yeah, I agree.” – Heath [68:22]

• [70:29] Discovering Dad Isn’t Biological:

  • A 27-year-old learns her dad isn’t her bio father and seeks advice on disclosure.
  • Group recommends open, loving conversation, starting with the mother, acknowledging it doesn’t change existing bonds.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Their knee pads? ...They wear them like short shorts, and I... how is that possible?” – Heath [02:54]
• “You know the Michael Myers mask though, is William Shatner.” – Matt [06:49]
• “I literally thought it was AI... but it was not.” – Zane [12:44]
• “They said, absolutely not. We want to still marry our cousins.” – Heath [19:15]
• “If it's in my backyard, it's my meteor.” – Matt [28:35]
• “If you can marry your cousin, you should be able to be taxidermied.” – Heath [34:56]
• “Let it unfold in front of everyone’s eyes.” – Heath [63:53]
• “Jesse Duplantis argued he needed a fourth private jet because Jesus wouldn't be riding a donkey.” – Caller/Guest [58:28]

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Important Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Topic | |---|---| | 01:04 | Scar stories / Sports injuries | | 02:17 | Shin guards and college football uniform trends | | 06:13 | Goalie masks and horror iconography | | 10:32 | Horror movie plot brainstorming | | 11:55 | Alps gondola disaster and related fears | | 14:14 | Underwater sight hack and scientific debate | | 19:13 | Florida cousin-marriage law and infamous inbreeding stories | | 27:22 | Meteor crash in Ohio | | 31:30–36:10 | Mortality, mausoleums, and funeral wishes | | 41:07 | Burial and cremation statistics and customs | | 46:42 | Pastor breaks into woman’s house; live story analysis | | 54:45 | Megachurch abuse of funds and prominent controversial pastors | | 59:12–74:49 | Advice Segment: workplace affair, salon cult, parental secrets | | 74:49 | "Unwind" segment intro & episode close |

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Episode Tone and Style

• Irreverent, fast-paced, and darkly comedic
• Conversations drift naturally, with running jokes, pop culture references, and candid skepticism
• Hosts are quick to push hot takes but often rein themselves in with a dash of empathy or pragmatism
• Listener questions provide both levity and genuine moral consideration

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Final Thoughts

This episode of Zane and Heath: Unfiltered is a quintessential blend of true-crime intrigue, offbeat news, and outrageous hypotheticals, all underpinned by their dynamic group chemistry and unfiltered comedic style. The new advice segment adds an engaging, participatory feel, bringing real-world dilemmas into the mix and showcasing the crew’s knack for both mischief and meaningful support.

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For anyone who missed the episode, this summary delivers every weird, wild, and wisdom-tinged moment—without the ads or fluff.

Transcript

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[Heath]

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[Zane]

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[Alex Kanchwitz]

and conditions apply Hi, this is Alex Kanchwitz. I'm the host, host of Big Technology Podcast, a longtime reporter and an on air contributor to cnbc. And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out how artificial intelligence is changing the business world and our lives. So each week on Big Technology, I bring on key actors from companies building AI tech and outsiders trying to influence it, asking where this is all going. They come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon, and plenty more. So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices, in meetings with your colleagues and at dinner parties, listen to Big Technology podcast wherever you get your podcasts.

[Matt]

Do you have a scar on your shin?

[Zane]

Yeah, that was actually from Hawaii.

[Matt]

Oh, from when you guys were playing the rock bike ball?

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Oh, wow.

[Zane]

That was. It was a nasty fall.

[Matt]

Yeah. Dude, I can see that scar glisten.

[Zane]

Yeah, that hurts so much.

[Matt]

That's a proper scar though. That looks kind of badass.

[Zane]

Dude. Isn't it crazy that there's times where like you up your face and then you just can't get rid of it?

[Matt]

But that like. Did you get stitches when that injury went down?

[Zane]

No.

[Matt]

Keith, do you have any cool scars?

[Heath]

I got just dumb scars. Nothing like cool that like I would ever show off and be like, like

[Zane]

open heart surgery scar or nothing like that?

[Heath]

No, it's just like my shins from BMXing when I was younger.

[Matt]

Ah.

[Heath]

When the pedal spins back, if you slip off of it, they've got like really sharp spikes on the pedals. My shins just have giant holes all throughout them and just like tiny little rips going down. But that's. That's pretty much it.

[Zane]

I can't believe you used to do that.

[Matt]

I used to wear shin guards and I wasn't even doing anything extreme. I would get out my soccer shin guards pretending I was like a full on motocross kid out on my bike just wearing them like that.

[Zane]

I forgot that you Wear shin guards for soccer. It's. I completely forgot about that.

[Matt]

Well, do kids wear shin guards? Pros aren't wearing shin guards playing.

[Zane]

I feel like they are.

[Matt]

I feel like when I'm watching the World Cup, I'm not seeing. They're like.

[Heath]

They're like this big. They. They're kind of like a loophole.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Heath]

It's not really a shin guard. It's just for the sake of having.

[Matt]

Oh, they're under the socks. Yeah.

[Zane]

Yeah. Dude, if anyone's gonna wear shin guards, I feel like adults need to wear much. Professionals need to wear it more than kids.

[Heath]

You know what's crazy? Have you seen college football? Like, their knee pads? Dude, I don't know what it is about college football, but they pull their pants up above. Above their knees. Now they pull. I don't love it.

[Matt]

So what? They're ending, like, right at their thighs. Like, they're wearing, like, shorts.

[Heath]

They wear them, like, short shorts, and I. I'm like, how is that possible?

[Zane]

Wait, hold. I got to see this.

[Heath]

Like, it's like the new. It's the new college football aesthetic.

[Zane]

Oh, with the leg showing.

[Matt]

That's strange that it's just popular in college, but it's not like, a full, like, NFL thing, I guess.

[Heath]

Jared, type in, like, college football. Short, short shorts.

[Zane]

Wait, is that. Is that normal, or is that just college?

[Heath]

I don't know, because I feel like college would be more strict on having the knee pads.

[Matt]

Dude.

[Heath]

That would be the one thing I feel like.

[Zane]

I feel like you don't really need knee pads for football. Right. But I don't.

[Matt]

You get pushed down to the ground.

[Zane]

I know that. Well, that's why you have all that gear on the top, because you're getting tackled. Right.

[Heath]

I want knee pads more than anything else.

[Matt]

Yeah. Because they tear their ACLs and stuff. Like, I feel like you just want a little bit of cushion. Oh, and then rubbing that against some astroturf, too. Like, down.

[Heath]

Dude, look at how short they are.

[Matt]

He's a kicker.

[Heath]

A lot of them are doing it.

[Zane]

Isn't it crazy that when you're a kicker on a team, that's all you do?

[Matt]

Yeah. And it can come all down on you. And it's your one damn job to get that football between those goal posts.

[Zane]

If you're. If you're a kicker, you have to get every single one. It's like, that's. I feel like that's all you. That's your only job.

[Heath]

Way too much pressure. It's not a glorious, like, it's It. There's not enough glory in that position for that much risk. And, like, just how much pressure you have being a kicker, I would never.

[Zane]

But they don't do anything for other than that on the team.

[Heath]

Usually, like, kickoff field goal there. It's like special teams. Punter only punts.

[Zane]

That's so insane.

[Matt]

But, yeah, they're just sitting there practicing, and you think, like, oh, maybe I won't even, like, have to really play today. Or just, like, I'm just doing the standard field goal.

[Zane]

Who's the most famous punter?

[Matt]

Oh, you.

[Heath]

The guy who does the. The talk show. Now, why am I drawing a blank?

[Caller/Guest]

Pat McAfee.

[Heath]

McAfee, yeah, that's it.

[Matt]

Oh, I've heard of him.

[Zane]

He never got his shine, so he needed to do a broadcast.

[Matt]

Oh. But I just always feel so bad for the kicker when they miss that field goal that would have, like, won them the game. And then they're, like, going back to the locker room. No one can look him in the eye. But then it's like a good team. It shouldn't really come down to the. The. The field goal kicker.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Because you guys should have just gotten there with just generic points in general. So don't get mad.

[Zane]

You are part of the team.

[Heath]

I know that he's the last resort because everybody else failed. Don't put that on him.

[Zane]

Yeah, right. Exactly.

[Heath]

Heath.

[Zane]

That's. That's a good way to.

[Matt]

I always feel that way, too, about goalies as well.

[Zane]

Like, goalies are so important.

[Matt]

Like soccer goalies. Hockey goalies.

[Zane]

No, soccer goalies. I feel like they're.

[Matt]

They're.

[Zane]

I mean, if not a more important.

[Matt]

Right.

[Zane]

The most important position.

[Heath]

They should have the highest salary because they're like.

[Matt]

They're wearing all that gear. How can they tell? I don't know where that is coming.

[Zane]

That's. Dude, that's. That's the most insane. It's like a fly.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

Like, imagine trying to dodge a fly from passing you. That's what I feel like coming at

[Heath]

you 100 miles an hour.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

I think they need to revisit that helmet, though, because it looks like their visibility is so limited. Wearing it, like, open it up. But, dude, Plexiglass, dude.

[Zane]

The reason why they have it like that is probably because that's the. Probably the most protection that you can. Because I'm sure it's gotten more and more fucking insane with. Because it's crazy.

[Heath]

They didn't used to wear goalie masks. You were. They were just taking pucks to the face. You Know, like the, you know, the Jason mask.

[Matt]

Yes, yes. That's how it, like, kind of used to be.

[Heath]

Or that was like, when they first came out, it was like that. But that guy, dude, he is the reason that it's so iconic because he would also put, like, scars and stitches on it for every time he got hit in the face. It's so cool, bro.

[Zane]

Look. Yeah. I think Michael Myers is based off him now. Has to be.

[Matt]

Jason. Michael Myers, yes.

[Heath]

Yes.

[Zane]

Jason. Geez. I. I should be better.

[Heath]

And you're a horror.

[Zane]

I know, and I'm a.

[Matt]

But, you know the Michael Myers mask, though, is William Shatner.

[Heath]

Yes.

[Matt]

It's like a Star Trek mask. But that's what he, like, went for, right?

[Zane]

Yes. And I. In the documentary that I was watching, they. I think something with, like, legal. And he didn't want his face to be used anymore or something, he wasn't getting paid, so they had to come up with a new one. And no other face worked as well as William Shatner's face. And they had to just make do with the new mask. And nobody, Nobody thinks it's as iconic as William Shatner's mask.

[Heath]

Yeah, that's so funny.

[Matt]

Crazy.

[Zane]

Like, which one is William Shatner's mask again?

[Matt]

I bet just like, the OG one. It was like that one for, like, Halloween. One and two.

[Zane]

Yeah. So good. Oh, my God, look at the one on the left. I feel like that's what. I feel like one of the movies had just a really bad mask where people were just like, oh, this is terrible. Like, how did this get approved?

[Matt]

Right?

[Zane]

Like, that one. Oh, my God, the third one.

[Matt]

Holy shit, that's terrible. Really bad.

[Zane]

And, you know, they didn't have good prosthetics to fix that.

[Heath]

But there's something so cool about it being so bad. Like, I think it makes it even scarier.

[Zane]

The. The second row. The third on the second row.

[Caller/Guest]

He looks like a rejected member of Kiss.

[Heath]

Yes.

[Zane]

Are they. Are they making a new one or is it done?

[Matt]

Probably, probably.

[Zane]

I mean, keep it going.

[Matt]

Scream. They're always making them. Halloween. Keep them going. I always think Halloween, though, are better than Scream. But I feel like Jason really hasn't had some moments, you know. Friday the 13th.

[Zane]

Yeah. They haven't brought that back. Or Freddy Krueger either.

[Matt]

No. Why.

[Zane]

Why do they only bring back this,

[Matt]

I don't know, analytics data, you know,

[Zane]

I feel like the last. I feel like the final movie before Jamie Lee Curtis, you know, passes. You know, she's getting older. She should be. She should be Michael Myers.

[Matt]

Oh, you think so?

[Heath]

Yeah. It should come out that it's her all along. Yeah. Some. Somehow she was chasing herself.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

I want to see her be the killer.

[Matt]

See, but that's what Scream does in every movie. Oh. There was actually two people. Yeah. And it was the person you were expecting. It's like they're doing that same trope over and over.

[Zane]

Yeah. But the thing is that it has to be two people because it's literally physically impossible for the. For this. For one Scream guy to be doing all these killings.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

In one. In. In two different areas. So I get that. But, yes, it's always. The killer is always just like, someone where you roll your eyes, you're just like. Okay. And. And Sydney. What's her name? Sydney Campbell.

[Matt]

Yes.

[Zane]

Move.

[Matt]

Yeah. Just get out of town. Go. Move. Go. Move to Palm Springs. Go to Bali. He ain.

[Zane]

Can you imagine? She, like the next movie, she moves to Bali and he falls.

[Matt]

How did he get there? Going through pre check and everything.

[Zane]

He's in Hawaii and he's like, with a. He's with the. He's with a leg.

[Heath]

Yes. He come. He comes by on, like, a paddle board.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Heath]

He's just like.

[Zane]

Scream goes tropical. It's just like getting murdered in the beach.

[Matt]

Just, like, make it just like roasting a body at the luau. Just like a pig. That would be a sick opening, though. He's going through, like. He's going through pre check and, like, takes off his mask and it's like, all right, backpacks, laptops. And then you just see the mask go down. And a guy's like, damn, that is modern.

[Zane]

That is 100%, like, modern.

[Matt]

Just, like, in this camera right here. Like, you good? Enjoy your flight.

[Zane]

He's just. He's at the Four Seasons.

[Matt]

Yeah. Just checking in.

[Zane]

It could work. Really? No, it could work. The thing is that they are they. You, like, remember Scream when it moved to New York? Everyone's like, oh, he's moving New York. I feel like they can keep going. Scream. Christmas. The Christmas killer.

[Matt]

I'd like to see that.

[Zane]

I'd like to see that, too.

[Matt]

Yeah. Bring some holidays back.

[Zane]

Put me in the studio. It. Let's run it. Actually, we should run the intro.

[Matt]

Let's do it.

[Heath]

Let's do it. Three, two, one. It's coffee towel, baby. Yeah.

[Zane]

Welcome back to Zayn and Heath. Unfiltered baby. I'm Zane.

[Heath]

I'm Heath.

[Matt]

I'm Matt.

[Zane]

That's Jared. And welcome back to another episode. Thank you so much for being here, guys. Again, Again, thank you. Thank you.

[Matt]

Many things.

[Zane]

And please don't leave. Stay till the whole episode. Actually, you should stay to the end of the episode because we have a brand new segment that we're gonna try to do and it's gonna be really fun and you should definitely stay for that because we're gonna be answering some of your guys's advice.

[Matt]

Yeah. You might be on this episode. People who have submitted. So yes, it could be you. It could be your time to shine.

[Zane]

Yes. Okay. But you know, speaking of spooky, spooky death, did you guys see, you know the gondolas? The big circle gondolas that like take

[Matt]

you up like on ski lifts.

[Zane]

On ski. But it's not a ski lift. It's. It's more of like a.

[Heath]

To get to the top of a mountain.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

It can fit like quite a few people. Literally my biggest. I always think about this. My biggest fucking nightmare, biggest fear. And it happened. Look at this.

[Matt]

Alps. Look at the pictures. The gondola tumbling.

[Zane]

Oh, are you fucking kidding?

[Matt]

Fully detached, killed. Operations suspended because of high winds. Other gondolas were evacuated tonight.

[Zane]

There was one person on there. Oh, can you imagine?

[Heath]

Did they make it out?

[Matt]

No, no, they don't.

[Zane]

No, no, no, no.

[Matt]

Oh, my gosh. How old of a gondola was it? How did they. Is there no one checking the damn maintenance of it? It was a 61 year old woman.

[Zane]

1. Just one older lady that's so.

[Heath]

Damn, you know, she was like, I'm gonna go have a nice little view up there maybe.

[Matt]

Yeah. Coffee. Oh, that breaks my heart.

[Zane]

Oh, my God. But yeah, I saw that. I literally thought it was AI because I think everything's fucking. I know, right? But it was not. Surely was not. And it's just. It just. It's just another thing to be fucking afraid of. Because I think every time I see this, I'm like, there's no way it's going to fall. I feel like they really build those things.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

Because when you know when you look at something, you're just like. That looks so insane and so scary where, you know they are keeping up with that shit.

[Matt]

Right?

[Heath]

Yeah. Oh, my gosh, that's really sad. Yeah, it's like. It's like the. The ski lifts though. You ever seen those break and they're just whipping around stops and people are flying off when it hits that U turn at crank speed and they're trying

[Matt]

to warn people that are coming up to it that it's about.

[Heath]

People are trying to get them to

[Zane]

jump to that point I would rather jump off.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

At a high height than to be fucking flung like that.

[Heath]

And then they're like boards get caught on it and then they're just dragged upside down. Oh, it's so.

[Zane]

I can't. I can'.

[Matt]

That is just straight up Final Destination stuff. I can't deal with it. No. Yeah, that's.

[Zane]

The next final destination is that probably is a snowy mountain disaster. I thought I would get high notes, vibes high.

[Heath]

Yeah, Just bring it.

[Zane]

I just thought that was crazy. It's like again, you know, I'm like scared of shit like that, like heights like that. Oh, my God. It's just my biggest nightmare.

[Matt]

And just to switch up the vibe, I saw this TikTok last night and I like, didn't know this was possible, that you can, like, see underwater. This little, like, hack and trick of being able to see underwater without goggles.

[Heath]

I know what you're saying. Yeah.

[Matt]

Did you know about this as a

[Heath]

kid where you could blow the bubbles into your little, like, pocket like this?

[Matt]

So you take your hands, you cup, you know, your eyes right above your eyebrow, make it really, like, airtight, almost like you're making like a little visor. Then you go underwater and then you exhale through your nose. And those water bubbles will then go up and create a pocket of. Of air that allow you to see underwater. What say you make two C shapes. You take a breath, press your thumbs towards the back of your ears and place your fingers along your brow, creating a full seal. Just like that. And then you tilt your head down at a 45 degree angle. I think that's important. And then exhale through your nose.

[Zane]

What?

[Matt]

And now you can, like, see underwater.

[Heath]

And that's how the guy helped the dolphins build the city.

[Zane]

Underground city. Yes, exactly. Wait. That's wild.

[Matt]

I cannot wait to get in a pool and try this.

[Zane]

Can you imagine the first person that decided to try that? And they're just like, holy.

[Matt]

Yeah, I bet this is like some military, like Navy seal.

[Heath]

I was just. I was just thinking the same thing.

[Zane]

Oh, that. You think they. They figured it out first?

[Matt]

I may be. But I'm just surprised that I never knew this.

[Zane]

That's crazy. And like the little perfect pocket bubbles right under the eyes.

[Caller/Guest]

This is what it reminds me of.

[Heath]

Yes.

[Matt]

Which is that even physically possible. I remember seeing that in Pirates of the Caribbean. But, like, it would be floating, right.

[Heath]

There was air.

[Zane]

Well, you'd have to be strong enough to pull it down.

[Matt]

And some. But they look like they are at the bottom of the ocean doing that.

[Zane]

No, that's. But, guys, that's physically possible, though, if that boat is underwater.

[Matt]

If.

[Zane]

If it was by itself, like, without.

[Matt]

Without air, because the air pocket would cause the whole boat to float. And look, Jared has already corrected this. The upside down boat scene in Pirates of the Caribbean is generally not physically possible as depicted. Zane.

[Zane]

It is.

[Heath]

It's possible. Yeah. But I saw it in a movie,

[Matt]

because we were trying to do that at the lake when that movie came out, and we were just having, like, a bucket in general. We thought if we got a massive, you know, plastic tub, and if we brought it down, we could all, like,

[Zane]

create this party when you bring it down. Like, when you bring that bucket with air down, it. There is air in there. When you bring it all the way

[Heath]

down, you would just need something super heavy pushing it down.

[Zane]

That's what I mean, though. Like, if. If something was super heavy, was getting that boat down, it would be possible.

[Matt]

Yeah, maybe if you, like, attach it to some ropes and rocks and stuff. Yeah, sure. But the oxygen would be very limited after a while.

[Zane]

Not for me.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Zane]

Not for me. I. I would make. I would make it work.

[Heath]

He does photosynthesis under there and.

[Zane]

Oh, yeah, like, metamorphosis and shit. I got it. I got this.

[Caller/Guest]

This is a good sentence. Moral of the story. If two people can sit in a canoe without sinking it, they can't pull it underwater full of air.

[Heath]

That's period.

[Zane]

All right.

[Matt]

I love a canoe. Just don't get me on a canoe.

[Zane]

I think canoes are fun for five minutes, and you're just like, okay, I'm done.

[Matt]

It depends who you're with. Because someone's like, hey, sit the fuck down. We ain't. Because kayaks. Kayaks. You're like, I don't.

[Heath]

I don't like kayaks.

[Matt]

But that's, like, a flat bottom. Kayaks is, like, reliable.

[Zane]

Kayaks are scary to me because I feel.

[Heath]

I don't. I don't want to be in with a thing around my waist and if I tipped over my feet being in that little, like, shell.

[Zane]

Because don't you need to have, like, the strength to, like, pull yourself back around? You got to.

[Matt]

No. Okay. Yeah. Like, the adventurous ones that look like they are, like, secured to your waist.

[Zane]

Yeah. No way. No way, no way.

[Heath]

Wearing a canoe. Absolutely not.

[Zane]

Wearing a canoe.

[Heath]

You never see, like, the people who do it, like, professionally. It's a seal around their whole waist.

[Zane]

Just. Just wait till New York Fashion Week. Someone's gonna be walking down the Runway with a Canoe. And with the legs popping out on the bottom, it'll be. It'll be in fashion. Just watch the. What do you call it? Did you guys see the video of the two ladies getting stuck next to, like, a big boat or a cruise or something? They were. Or it. Was it a cruise? Or maybe it was the side of a building. But these ladies did not know how to, like, row themselves out. Like, you know. You know, like, to back up. You have to. You have to, like. Yeah, push the. Like, push the pedal forward like that. These ladies just did not know how to do that. And they were just stuck on the side, and they were freaking out, and they could not get out of there.

[Matt]

Like, Donna, pivot. Pivot. And they couldn't get out of it.

[Zane]

They couldn't get out of it.

[Heath]

But getting sucked in, like, to a boat's wake, though, that's terrifying.

[Zane]

A boat wake.

[Heath]

Like, those.

[Zane]

Those. And it's crazy because it doesn't look like. When you're looking at it, you're like, oh, that doesn't look like it'll suck

[Heath]

you in, but terrifying.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Or people that think it's fun and they go, like, jet ski close to them. Was that it? Was that in Florida? Because. Because if it was, I got. I got a Florida story for you guys.

[Zane]

Oh, you do another one?

[Matt]

Is it real?

[Heath]

Hey. Okay, the last one was on the news. All right. That's not my fault.

[Matt]

Okay. That was.

[Zane]

That was on them.

[Heath]

So this isn't necessarily a Florida man, but I'm sure a lot of people are involved. They just had a law that they were trying to pass to ban marrying your first cousin, and it got shut down. They said, absolutely not. We want to still marry our cousins. We're not signing this bill.

[Matt]

What?

[Heath]

And it's. It's still allowed, so.

[Zane]

God damn it.

[Matt]

And wait, who. These are the lawmakers who are refusing to sign this bill. Like, yeah, yeah. Okay, so. Florida lawmakers have not succeeded in banning marriages between first cousins. The proposed measure was part of a larger bill, HB733, which did not pass in the state's House of Representatives last week. If it had been approved, the bill would have. Would have stated that starting July 1, marriages between first cousins would not be recognized in Florida. In Florida, marriage laws clearly prohibit unions between close blood relatives. This includes relationships such as parent and child, grandparent, grandchild, siblings, including half siblings. And these types of marriages are not only in invalid, but be prosecuted as criminal offenses. Okay, so. But.

[Zane]

But why, like, why is that even, like, a discussion like why would they want that?

[Heath]

Do you know that person sitting there that had the pet in his hand is married to his cousin?

[Zane]

He's like, yeah, or he's about to get married and he's just like, I just need this to pass

[Matt]

now. My only thing is that this was something that was proposed, part of a larger bill as well. And I'm just curious what was in the. Because it was part of a larger bill. Was there something in the larger bill that they were more like, we're not passing this because of something else in.

[Heath]

Yeah, you're right. It was probably like, do we want to pay teachers more? And they're like, hell, no.

[Matt]

That's what I don't get with the government.

[Heath]

But we could still marry our cousins

[Matt]

when it comes down to passing big bills. But there's something that is so important, let it be individual to it. That make that individual and just get that done. Because that makes sense. Yeah. So it's a Department of Health bill. Is the HB733 is a health issue. Right. Just stop that.

[Zane]

Who's that family in the. What is it, the Whitaker? No, the Whitakers.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, the most, like, incestual family.

[Matt]

Yes. Yeah.

[Zane]

You see, you've seen that, right?

[Matt]

Yeah. You've seen that or that one guy, like, can only, like, bark and stuff?

[Zane]

Yeah, it's like the whole family. You've never seen that? Oh, Heath.

[Heath]

Like Forest Whitaker?

[Matt]

No, not Forest Whitaker. It's a family out in West Virginia, like, deep in, like, poverty Appalachia. And it's a family. They're all really old. Everyone looks like over the age of at least 60. And they are severely, like, inbred. You can tell by their faces, the way they talk.

[Zane]

Fairly inbred.

[Matt]

But I feel like there was some controversy with that where the guy was. Kept going and filming them, but also profiting off of it. But then he was trying to support them, but then they were like, I don't know, kind of skin. Yeah.

[Zane]

Isn't anybody filming anybody like this Profiting?

[Matt]

I don't know. But at least I think for someone in, like, terrible, like, social or living conditions and you're making money off of it, you should at least, like, help out or give them access to proper food and health or give them medicine

[Zane]

to lose the incestual.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

Virus that they have.

[Heath]

Virus. Yeah.

[Zane]

Suck it out of them.

[Matt]

But, I mean, my heart goes out to people who, like, are like people who are inbreeding. That's bad. But sometimes people are the product of being inbred and like, them that's sad.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

But did they keep going?

[Matt]

I'm not sure.

[Zane]

I mean, the inbreds, like, did they keep going?

[Matt]

I don't know. I think.

[Heath]

Is that. Is that, like, Hills have Eyes? Do. Were they inbred or was they just, like.

[Zane]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matt]

They're in bread, but also radiation mutations, too, because they were in that area where they were testing atomic bombs and stuff. So a little bit of inbred, but also radiation dynamic duo.

[Zane]

A little bit of radiation, a little bit of incest, and you got yourself

[Heath]

a little power couple.

[Matt]

That movie, Hills have Eyes. Me up as a kid.

[Zane]

Yeah, it was scary.

[Matt]

The poster of the movie. That's a girl who's getting crusade.

[Heath]

Is it?

[Matt]

Yes. Because remember, they, like, show up in, like. That's the daughter in. In the.

[Zane]

Oh, that's rv.

[Matt]

Dude, that is, like, one of the worst scenes ever where they're just, like, taking full advantage of that family. I just hate a horror movie where there's, like, not good redemption.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And it used to be one in the 70s. Yeah. But.

[Zane]

Oh, there was an older one.

[Matt]

Yeah, that's what it was. Inspired.

[Zane]

Oh, you know them prosthetics were. Unless they had real people. Real inbred people.

[Heath]

I thought the guy from the Goonies was real my whole life.

[Matt]

What's his name? Chunk. Hey, you guys.

[Zane]

Oh, my God.

[Heath]

I thought it was real.

[Zane]

Oh, I mean, never mind.

[Matt]

Shame on the Fratellis. Yes. He was born a little different, but let's not put him in chains.

[Zane]

Yeah, and he was sweet, too. I remember him being nice.

[Matt]

Yes, he was nice. He had a heart of gold. And he got to go live with up with, you know, the Truffle Shuffle. Kid, you're gonna come live with me now.

[Zane]

How are they doing now?

[Matt]

What? All the kids from the Goonies? Yeah. Well, Sean Astin is now president of sag. Josh Brolin's killing it way. Yeah.

[Heath]

Josh Brolin. I cannot believe was in it. Like, I always think about that, and I'm like, that's insane.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

What is he in? Josh Brolin.

[Matt]

Josh Brolin. Thanos, dude.

[Heath]

He's. He's huge.

[Matt]

And his stepmom is Barbra Streisand.

[Zane]

Barbra Streisand. Is she still in movies? Is she still acting?

[Matt]

I mean, she just appeared at the Oscar. She just appeared at the Oscars. Maybe things here and there, but she still sings really great, man. Josh Brolin, what a stud. I want a jawline like that. I just want to.

[Zane]

After watching Meet the Parents and Meet the Fockers, I've always wanted her to be my aunt.

[Matt]

Oh, yeah. Just. Just.

[Zane]

What a ball of energy.

[Matt]

Make it to me.

[Zane]

Chonga incantara.

[Heath]

I need to re. Watch it because those are so good.

[Zane]

Too good, aren't they? Why do I feel like they announced that they're making a new one? I feel like Ariana Grande is in it too. I swear I saw something.

[Heath]

Really?

[Zane]

I swear.

[Matt]

Are you thinking of like my Big Fat Greek Wedding?

[Zane]

No, no, it was Meet the Fockers. It was the new one because it was Ariana Grande.

[Matt]

Meet the Parents. Meet the fockers. And yes.

[Zane]

November 26th.

[Matt]

Okay, so it is in law and

[Zane]

Ariana Grande is in it.

[Matt]

So do you think she's like their daughter? I can't remember. Like in. I never saw Little Fockers. I only saw.

[Heath]

I didn't either.

[Matt]

Yeah, just wasn't my cup of tea. But a young man named Henry, the son of Greg and Pam Focker, faces family chaos when he decides to marry a strong willed woman who appears to be his complete mismatch.

[Zane]

Can I. Can I say something that might cancel me? What I feel like.

[Matt]

Oh, let's hear it.

[Zane]

Why do I. No, no, no, no. There's nothing bad. I, I just know all like, girl, she has such a big fan base, like Taylor.

[Heath]

Start. Start. Screen recording.

[Zane]

Everybody get ready. I. I just hope that they don't make her look like Ariana Grande. Does that make sense? Because I feel like everything that she's in, she's just look. Always just looks like Ariana Grande. She doesn't look like a character in a movie. Like, you know, like actors. Like actors that any actor you think of, they're in a movie, they make him look just different.

[Matt]

Yeah, they're like.

[Zane]

It's just like a. But I feel, But I know that's Ariana. That's her. Like, I know that that's her.

[Heath]

Like, I think it's because she's so big, because if you saw like Taylor Swift in a movie, you would only see her as Taylor Swift.

[Zane]

I don't think so. I think you can make, you can make people look very different with just like their style, their hair, their makeup.

[Heath]

I, I get what you're saying. You're on. You're on to something.

[Zane]

Yeah. I just hope that she looks like a normal person. And then I like, I, I feel like, you know what I mean?

[Caller/Guest]

Like, not like a superstar.

[Zane]

Not like a suit. Exactly. Not like a superstar. I don't want to see a superstar.

[Matt]

Yeah, just a little down. Be realistic.

[Zane]

But that's Actually, she's Ariana Grande in the movie.

[Matt]

You.

[Heath]

Thank you.

[Matt]

Ariana Grande.

[Zane]

Ariana.

[Matt]

What do y' all say?

[Heath]

Ariana.

[Matt]

I say Ariana.

[Zane]

Ariana. Ariana. I don't know. What is it? Ariana. Ariana.

[Heath]

I don't know. Now I hear both.

[Matt]

Ariana.

[Zane]

I feel like it's Ariana.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

Ariana Grande.

[Matt]

Ariana Grande. But you were saying Ariana Grande. Nothing wrong with that. I say things a little differently. Yeah, it's okay. You have a little twist.

[Zane]

Hummus.

[Matt]

Hummus.

[Heath]

Mustang.

[Zane]

Mustang. Mustache.

[Heath]

Milk.

[Zane]

Milk.

[Heath]

Milk mustache.

[Zane]

I love it.

[Heath]

That'd be fun, though. I'll watch it.

[Zane]

Did you guys. Did you guys see about. Did you guys hear about the. The ass. The meteor that hit our planet recently? It hit Ohio. Yeah. I think it was either this morning. Yesterday.

[Matt]

Whoa. Big one. Was it? Severe fragments.

[Zane]

Guys, the footage because a ring of different ring cameras. I think I sent it to you, Jared. Different ring cameras were sent to the news station.

[Heath]

Guys, it was big.

[Zane]

This. If you saw this, you would think it was a end of the world. Yeah, it looked terrifying.

[Caller/Guest]

So this video is just the sonic boom.

[Zane]

Can you go to a video where it shows? There's. There's so many different videos now.

[Matt]

The sonic boom is that when it's just breaking the sound barrier.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Whoa.

[Zane]

That's not a good video.

[Matt]

Like, I mean, that's pretty impressive right? Now.

[Zane]

I want you to see, like, a. Look at that. Look at the. Isn't that insane? Bro, I would be freaking the fuck out if I saw that.

[Matt]

Oh, man.

[Heath]

Okay, so it didn't. It didn't make contact. It just went really close by.

[Zane]

Wait, what?

[Caller/Guest]

No, it.

[Zane]

No, it hit. It hit the plant. It hit Earth.

[Heath]

Oh, it did come down.

[Zane]

It did. Yeah.

[Matt]

Yeah. I think one of the headlines said there was, like, 14 fragments found in different places. Mine. That's mine. If it's in my backyard, it's my meteor.

[Zane]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt]

I don't want any Men in Black coming up. Pay me, baby, pay me.

[Zane]

And there's so many fragments everywhere. You don't need mine.

[Matt]

And I want to go on tour with that meteor. Yeah.

[Zane]

I want to show everybody.

[Matt]

Put me on the Today Show.

[Caller]

It.

[Heath]

It's just like.

[Matt]

Yeah. I'm on the View talking with Whoopi, going, oh, it hit the backyard bad. Whoopi, do you want to talk about it? Let's pose.

[Zane]

But, Matt, you have one of the bigger pieces.

[Matt]

Yes.

[Zane]

So they're just like, come on our show, please.

[Matt]

Oh, put me a world tour.

[Zane]

And yours is shaped like Jesus.

[Matt]

I'm at Coachella, like, with Diplo. Like, I got it out there. Just like I'm the meteor guy. I would milk that.

[Zane]

Matt, the meteor guy is so good.

[Matt]

Wait, look at. Wait, what's that sentence? It goes. NASA experts say the roughly six foot seven ton. Six, seven space rock. Okay.

[Zane]

Yeah. I love that.

[Matt]

That's crazy.

[Caller/Guest]

That thing's dense as it's six feet, but it weighs 14, 000 pounds.

[Zane]

The fact that a six foot like, asteroid made that much of an impact with the sound, like, now imagine like a. Oh, man. That's as big as like a house.

[Matt]

See, this makes me scared because I'm like, is more coming. Where's that coming from?

[Zane]

And why the hell were we not notified of this one? Where the hell was our alert for that?

[Heath]

We. We. We got supposed eyes on one that's still like a light year away. That's. That has lights on NASA. But this thing. This thing comes ripping right through.

[Matt]

We got a meteor coming. Do we want to. It's six, seven.

[Zane]

Like, NASA makes how much money? How much donations do they make? How much money goes to NASA? And they couldn't tell us that this asteroid is coming through.

[Matt]

Whoa. So it just scattered like this all the different places.

[Zane]

Oh, wow.

[Matt]

Down in Princeton, Princetown, Cincinnati.

[Caller/Guest]

This is where I'm from.

[Matt]

Oh, boy. Hit up your friends.

[Zane]

Nobody. Nobody got like, hit like. Nobody's property got hit, like.

[Matt]

Guess not.

[Zane]

So those were different fragments all coming different, like. Like all coming down different or did.

[Matt]

Wait, people are looking at the sky, like, ordinary.

[Zane]

Wait, what?

[Heath]

You kissing the guts? The.

[Zane]

The trailer for the show.

[Matt]

91 1. Alex Ward's Ordinary. Everyone tucking cover.

[Zane]

You did you know, Alex Warren saw that. He's just like. He's like, damn, that made my song look bad.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay, so this Picture is the 14 confirmed meteorite landings in just all of Ohio's history.

[Heath]

Oh.

[Matt]

Oh.

[Zane]

I was gonna say, like, that doesn't make sense. There's only one.

[Matt]

Yeah. For it to scatter that big.

[Caller/Guest]

But I'm guessing since they said it was northeast Ohio, it's probably this one up near.

[Zane]

Oh, so that's why nobody.

[Matt]

Yeah, no one lives there. I'm kidding.

[Zane]

It probably killed like maybe an animal or something.

[Heath]

Maybe.

[Zane]

Maybe.

[Heath]

Imagine being taken out by a meteor.

[Matt]

Right? Like, that's how you go.

[Heath]

And then. And then your parents, like, their friends are. How's Matt doing? You're not gonna believe it.

[Zane]

He's kind of iconic.

[Matt]

No, it is pretty dope.

[Heath]

Like, how do you. Yeah, he was. He was hit by a meteor What. What are you talking.

[Matt]

I would want that, like, on my tombstone.

[Zane]

Oh, yeah. Oh, a piece of the graph there.

[Matt]

Yeah. Or just, like, have, like, a meteor, like, kind of logo above. Like, here lies Matt King. He was out of this world.

[Zane]

Our shooting star. Killed by Mother Nature. Killed by mut.

[Matt]

Like, yeah, like, if I die in a crazy way, put that on my tombstone. So people can be like, who's the meteor guy? Yes, this is it for sure. Yeah, Just some fun lore.

[Zane]

You'd be in history books for sure.

[Matt]

Because it's not like that. I mean, it is tragic. That's kind of cool.

[Zane]

And I feel like. I feel like that's a fast pass to fucking heaven, too. You got killed by a goddamn space rock.

[Matt]

I'm.

[Zane]

I, I. All my sins have. Are wiped.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

I get to go straight to. Straight to him.

[Matt]

How much is a tombstone?

[Zane]

Anything after you die is so expensive.

[Heath]

And then, and then you gotta pay, like, per letter that's chiseled in it.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

A thousand. $5,000. A flat grave marker is still two to $800. Get fucked.

[Zane]

I'll make my own fucking tombstone.

[Matt]

Right? I want a mausoleum.

[Zane]

I, I, Me too, man. I want a mozzie where you can walk in and there's just, like, my best moments.

[Heath]

It has, like, your YouTube plaque on the wall. Just, like, random.

[Matt]

A place for people to sit. Yes, take a seat. Come visit me. But Zane be sitting there like, I get this person out of here.

[Zane]

No, I want to be stuffed.

[Matt]

Okay?

[Zane]

I want to be stuffed. So, like, when you, when you walk in, I'm like, taxidermy or just I'm in the corner like this. So, like, if you, like every year on my birthday, on the day I died, on, like, literally any holiday, you come, come in, we set up a bar, the mausoleum. You invite people. I'm sitting there. We got a disco ball. I want in a party. Y' all are partying. And then you could, like, take. Imagine the videos that you get with me. Oh, my God. Like, I'm still in content.

[Matt]

$300,000. Zane better start saving. To what, for a large walk in family structure or. Okay. It's like $125,000.

[Zane]

Can you see how much it would cost to get your dead body stuffed?

[Matt]

What do you mean?

[Zane]

Like, like, like they do it.

[Heath]

You can't do that.

[Zane]

Yes, Heath, it's been done.

[Matt]

Can you get a human? Taxidermied is basically Heath. Remember, it's been done. That's.

[Heath]

That's like mummification shit.

[Zane]

Okay.

[Matt]

It's illegal, Zane.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, there's no state in which it's legal.

[Zane]

Oh, ok. So the ones that we saw, Heath, are definitely out of the country, then they did that shit in other countries for sure.

[Heath]

Well, there's like. Like ancient relics, like.

[Zane]

No, no, Heath, not ancient relic. These are like. This is like people that like.

[Heath]

Where did you see attack?

[Matt]

Is that what you're thinking of?

[Zane]

Guys, we've actually talked about this multiple times, and I've showed you pictures. Remember the guy on the bike?

[Matt]

Okay, are you talking about, like, in different countries where they. Okay, I think it's different countries.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Right. Yeah, it's a thing. But you can't.

[Zane]

Well, they literally mummify them. Yeah, it's a thing. I. And I want it to happen.

[Matt]

You know what?

[Zane]

We're gonna pass the bill.

[Matt]

I'm gonna get that one included.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Heath]

If you can marry your cousin, you should be able to be taxed.

[Narrator/Reporter]

There's.

[Zane]

There's nothing wrong with wanting.

[Matt]

You're.

[Zane]

It's my body, my choice, bitch. If I want my body mummified, I have every right to do so.

[Heath]

Yeah, you could freeze yourself. You could do whatever you want, but yeah.

[Zane]

Oh, but you could get. You could give my organs up without my knowledge, without my consent, but you can't. But I can't get my body mummified so my friends can party with me. Go yourself. Oh, so you don't. So you don't care. You don't care about us after we're. We've passed.

[Matt]

Oh, there is a taxidermied, like, man, Jeremy Bentham, He's a philosopher, and he's like a muff fight. Zane, can you imagine would be like, man, my hairline. Y' all made me look bad. Oh, like, why do I look like that?

[Zane]

My hairline's looking perfect. I'm looking perfect for my deathbed. No, no, but actually, like, dead ass. Like, dead ass, open casket. Y' all make sure that my hair plugs look good. I want. I want one more hair transplant surgery. And post. I use all my donor hairs. Use it all.

[Heath]

Because. Because, well, shave. The back of your head would just fill the front.

[Zane]

I'm. I'm laying down, so you're not gonna see the back of my head. I want all. Everything for the back. I want my ass hairs. I want my back hairs. I want my thigh hair. I could get all the hairs, and I want it all on the top of my head. I want to look like a model. And my coffin.

[Matt]

Oh, they made you look gorgeous. They did a great job. You would have loved this.

[Zane]

Zane, if you can hear me, you look incredible.

[Heath]

Before we continue, this episode is brought to you by Shopify. Starting something new, a business, a podcast, whatever it is, can be pretty intimidating. When we first started this podcast, we suddenly had to wear like 10 different hats. From recording, editing, branding, scheduling. Every day there was something new we had to figure out. And when you're starting from scratch, the learning curve can be pretty daunting. But you don't have start on your own. From zero. With the right tool, you can get a head start and a leg up on the competition. And that tool is Shopify. Shopify is the platform behind millions of businesses worldwide and about 10% of all E commerce in the US and they'll help you build a professional online store with hundreds of ready to use templates so your brand looks exactly the way you want it to. It's also packed with AI tools that assist you with product descriptions, headlines, and even improve your product photos. Plus, Shopify helps you reach customers with easy email and social media campaigns. And the best part, everything is in one place. Inventory, payments, analytics, shipping, all managed from a single platform. See, Shopify's got you covered. And now that you're all out of excuses, go start that dream. Start your business today with the industry's best business partner, Shopify, and start hearing. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com unfiltered. Go to shopify.com unfiltered that's shopify.com unfiltered thank you, Shopify, for sponsoring this podcast. We love you.

[Matt]

Do you want any possessions with you? Like any trinkets? Any little dudes?

[Zane]

Maybe my vape for old times sake and maybe. What else? What else could I have in there? Maybe a pack of Oreos.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Heath]

Ah, yeah.

[Zane]

And then ants.

[Matt]

Critters are coming for you. Oreos. Okay. Critters.

[Heath]

Can they get into a casket?

[Matt]

It.

[Zane]

I think some for sure can.

[Matt]

And that's why they try to like upsell you on like getting the nicer casket. This one's more secure.

[Zane]

The. You know what they do, like when they clean bodies out.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

Or they. Before they bury them. That lasts forever.

[Matt]

Or that they pump the body with formaldehyde, which like, reduces like decomposition and

[Zane]

stuff, but it still decomposes at some point, like much, much, much, much later.

[Matt]

Or is it like it's not like a proper. Sorry, this sounds so good, like rot, if that makes sense.

[Zane]

Yeah, that. Yeah, that's what I mean. Just pretty much like it's still like

[Matt]

formaldehyde body A few weeks to several.

[Zane]

Oh, that's.

[Matt]

Oh.

[Zane]

So, yeah.

[Matt]

You really still decompose? You're probably. Yeah. Still bones, for sure.

[Zane]

Oh, God. So they. They pretty much do it for the moments leading up to the funeral. After death.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

Yeah. Makes sense.

[Heath]

I don't know. Open casket is so interesting because it's like, yes, it's them.

[Zane]

I don't think I could look.

[Heath]

It looks like them, but, like, it's off.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Like. Because the only thing you're thinking is, like, they look different. And like, you. You just have that as the last image in your mind.

[Matt]

But for some people, that gives them closure because it's like, the last.

[Heath]

No, I know.

[Matt]

I get it. You didn't get to see them, so it's a way where they go, like, at least I got to, like, see them before you say goodbye. And it also depends on your religion. For some, you know, Catholics, people do wakes and stuff. That's like a traditional. Which is sometimes separate from the funeral itself. So you can have a wake in the ceremony for people to come. You know, what do they do? The rosary. And it's a full wake, but that's not the funeral, so not everyone has to go to that. And then you have a closed one.

[Zane]

I don't know if I could do that. Like, a whole wake where, like, everybody. Like, I have to. Now, do you find that, like, wakes weird? I like, to me, I feel like if I had a loved one who's. If my friend had a loved one who died, I'd rather, like, find a time to go visit them. And that could be the, like, where we're just, like, sending our condolences, talk to them, whatever. But I feel like a whole, like, pretty much just luncheon where everybody comes over, and it's just like, I don't know.

[Matt]

Don't you want to show off these damn hair plugs, Zane?

[Zane]

Like, what you were just talking about.

[Matt]

No, no, no, no. You want to look?

[Zane]

No, sorry, Sorry. I'm being serious. I'm not kidding. I feel like it's just such a weird concept. Like, I feel like the last thing I want to do is have everybody at my house coming in, eating all this. They're all everywhere, all looking at me, making sure that they don't offend me in any way. It's just, like. It's just this weird, uncomfortable feeling the whole time where I feel like it could just be, like, separate, where, like, people can, in. In their own time come visit you.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

And that could be its own thing.

[Matt]

I don't Know, you can do. But you can do that. I think anyone's entitled to how they want to be mourned and stuff.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

For other people, that's just maybe tradition. That's just what they're used to. It varies with every single person.

[Heath]

I'm so curious what the percentages are for, like, cremation, verse, burial these days.

[Matt]

Well, I think it's a lot more higher these days than it has been in the past because of how expensive just burying somebody is, which I think is like, kind of like it should not become a financial burden.

[Heath]

No.

[Matt]

They hit people when they're down for sure. Someone has had to battle through cancer or some, like, really serious medical issue and spend all this money on them with just a terrible health care system. And then, oh, yeah, we're going to charge you even more just to bury them. I think it's just such a racket. So the cremation is for roughly. Is the preferred choice now for roughly 63% of Americans. Wow. Wow. While traditional casket burials have dropped to 31%. Yeah.

[Heath]

What's the rest?

[Zane]

Is there. Is there.

[Heath]

What's the other option?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, we're missing about.

[Matt]

Or maybe also proper decomposition. They can, like, put you in, like, basically a mushroom burial suit that you naturally decompose with the earth. So you are getting buried, but you're not having to pay for a casket.

[Zane]

Got it.

[Matt]

You fully decompose, but your ashes can't be scattered across places where you're, you know.

[Zane]

Oh, heath. I mean, wait, it's not dead. Dead people. They're not counting, like, bodies that they never find.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, I don't think so.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Zane]

Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

I want to do the thing where they can compress your ashes into, like, a gemstone.

[Matt]

That is Paul.

[Zane]

I like that.

[Matt]

But someone. But someone's gotta keep up with that gemstone where they're like, oh, God. They're like, was it this?

[Zane]

But it's not like that. Like, I feel like that's a horse Horcrux. There's something very spooky about it. There's something really spooky about, like, one day you just see that ring moving, and it's like,

[Heath]

a lot of people. A lot of people were, like, smoking them, and I'm like, oh, my.

[Zane]

That should be illegal. That's cannibalism.

[Matt]

But if it's requested, Imagine, like, did you see.

[Zane]

Oh, my. This is terrible. Did you see? There was a video of this lady's, like, putting her ash. She is like, all right, say bye.

[Heath]

And all the implos back.

[Matt]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Just like a bad ash pour, just facing the wind.

[Zane]

Oh. Just. That's it.

[Matt]

See, this is expensive as hell, too. Getting turned into a diamond. Damn.

[Zane]

It doesn't need to cost that much. It's just so fucking.

[Matt]

And I don't even trust it. Like, they're probably like, yep, this is them. Yeah, you got it. Yeah, that's them. Like, did you really do it? Did you really turn them into a diamond?

[Caller/Guest]

All the way up to $37,000 for a three carat white diamond made out

[Zane]

of your ashes, Heath, I would spend that much on your ashes.

[Heath]

Would you?

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

I don't mind being cremated, but I just want to be, like, in a cool, fun urn and keep me around.

[Zane]

So what's your urn looking like?

[Matt]

Well, like, I knew someone who's like, grandma was in a Folger's like, coffee tin that was always in, like, the kitchen of their house. And it was like a cool way because, like, a lot of good conversations, you're around people, they're there and, like, grandma's right there and in. When people would point out they're in the Folgers coffee tin, everyone would laugh and smile and be like, that's just so funny and cool. It's having, like, a sense of humor of the urn that you're in. Until one.

[Zane]

Until one.

[Heath]

You have. Yeah, you have guests come over. You got. You got guests waking up a little

[Zane]

bit before you make themselves a hot cup of Joe.

[Matt]

Right?

[Zane]

Oh, this looks funky. All right, we'll give it a try.

[Matt]

I don't know. I'd want to be in something with, like, a sense of humor, but I'm also like, I don't know if I want to be scattered places too.

[Zane]

No, there's something like, do a bit there.

[Matt]

Do a bit.

[Zane]

Really lonely about that.

[Matt]

Yeah, we're here. Then all of a sudden, like, your ashes are just gone. Once again, I know everybody does it different ways. There's no right or wrong ways. We're just sharing.

[Zane]

I. I think, I think just in case, spiritually, I think I would want to be buried next to my loved ones just in case. There's like, there's just something in me where it's just like, what if. What if the afterlife, you are really next to the person you got buried with? I don't know. Like, that, like, that would suck. Imagine you wake up like, oh, God damn it. Like, you're. You're next to the random people and you're just with those random ass people in the afterlife.

[Matt]

I Know that would stink.

[Caller/Guest]

You just do a fail safe. And then like you do all the different types of burials. So it's like your leg gets buried next to somebody. Like your arm gets cremated and spread, you know.

[Zane]

Oh, just do everything.

[Caller/Guest]

Just do a little bit of everything just in case.

[Zane]

But the afterlife, actually it caters to people that cremated. But I got my hand cremated, so the only thing left is the hand. I'm the fucking guy from Wednesday. Like, just like, that's just, that's just my body in the afterlife. I'm walking around with my wrists.

[Heath]

This is random. But people that have like limbs amputated, how does it get disposed?

[Matt]

Probably to science.

[Zane]

I mean, just like anything else, right?

[Matt]

Organ transplant or whatever. Yeah, anything that's being removed from you, I think. Yeah, they get incinerated in the hospital

[Zane]

or they send it to the military and they use it to blow up.

[Matt]

Some people also donate their body to science. We're like, especially if maybe you did have cancer, you did have some disease. Or if you just want to say, I just want, want this whole system to be useful. Yeah, you give it to science.

[Zane]

I'm gonna donate my body to the Louvre. Oh, hang me up at the top

[Matt]

of the pyramid from the back. But who cares?

[Heath]

Like, went to science and it like wasn't like a cool thing. You're just in like a middle school class and people are like, yeah, you can be that.

[Matt]

That's a way to go out. There's so many different ways you can do it. Okay, have we been like a little.

[Heath]

All right. Morbid. Morbid.

[Matt]

A little morbid.

[Zane]

Yesterday this insane story popped up on my feed. Did you guys hear about the lady that she got a notification that somebody was in her house while she was out of town? Right. She has cameras inside her home. You know how people have like cameras inside their home? She had one in the kitchen and she got notified that somebody was in her house. Somebody broke in in the middle of the night? In the middle of the night.

[Matt]

She's out of town.

[Zane]

She's out of town. She watches a video, sees a guy coming in with a flashlight. And then she looks closer and she notices that the guy that broke into her house is the minister of her church. Of her church.

[Caller/Guest]

No way.

[Zane]

Insane. Here, there's a clip right here.

[Matt]

The home invasion. A man with a flashlight enters a single mom's house.

[Narrator/Reporter]

It's terrifying. A man caught on security tape breaking into a home. More shocking is the identity of the intruder. It was 43 year old Marie, columnist pastor there. He was in her kitchen. Clearly identifiable.

[Heath]

Follow God's vision.

[Narrator/Reporter]

And it's not just any church. The same megachurch was a pastor at a megachurch, the 20 Thomas Road Baptist Church in Lynchburg, Virginia. Maria and her husband. Husband were very close with the pastor and his wife. What was Pastor Guardia like?

[Caller]

Very charismatic, extremely nice.

[Narrator/Reporter]

But after she divorced her husband, Marie says the pastor's behavior became increasingly odd.

[Caller]

He started just showing up to my house. My kids wouldn't be home. It'd be in the middle of the day, and he would just show up. I would get home, and he'd be right on my porch.

[Narrator/Reporter]

But nothing prepared her for this surveillance video, which was taken while she was away for the weekend with her two kids.

[Caller]

I just couldn't process. It was Sergio.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Narrator/Reporter]

Lo and behold, he came back the next day.

[Matt]

What?

[Caller]

I was watching the live feed of him entering my daughter's bedroom.

[Narrator/Reporter]

The cops. And you can see them with guns drawn. They even use a police dog in their search. But the pastor had already fled. Guardio was charged with burglary and stalking.

[Zane]

So. So I was watching this. Like, I. I can't wait to hear why. And they never explained it. Why do you think the pastor of a megachurch is break? Like, is he looking for something?

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

Is he. What is he looking for?

[Matt]

So she's been divorced. She's now single. I bet he's always had a crush on her. He's probably like, is she been, like, hooking up with people? She'd been, like, sexually active. Like. Like wanting to get her, like, panties and shit. Like, this is what. This is what, dude? What do we think? He's just there to rob? I think. No, no, no. I think he's, like, personally, like, he's getting off. Like, this is, like, some sexual deviance. Yes, like, sexual deviance. Like, he's really, like, in. Wants to know if. If she's up to something. Does she have birth control? Does she. She have this? I think it's something where he's obsessed with her in knowing that she's single now and wants to, like.

[Zane]

You think God would allow that type of.

[Matt]

He needs to repent and go to jail?

[Zane]

No, that's like. Like, his life is over. Like, dude, it's. It. I just. It's such a crazy story. To me, it's crazy. It's a show. It's a limited series on Netflix.

[Matt]

It's crazy that he, like, went there the first night, noticed that there was a camera right there in the kitchen, and then still came back the second night. Probably Going in through another way. Through, like what, the daughter's bedroom or something she mentioned. Like, that's a creepy. And someone with a huge God complex wants control of, like, someone's life.

[Heath]

Going back is wild.

[Caller/Guest]

I wonder if that was like a power trip for him. Like, nothing happened. Like, he clearly saw the camera and saw the camera following him, but nothing happened that night.

[Zane]

You know what? She may have not, which is crazy because I feel like. I feel like if I'm out of town, my notifications are on for the cameras in the house. Right. So I'm surprised that. That he was able to do that next day and she didn't see it. That's like, pretty interesting. Like, I'm. I'm surprised that she wasn't. She didn't catch that she might have

[Caller/Guest]

seen it, but maybe had second thoughts about.

[Heath]

Yeah. Calling. Because if you see that it's a pastor, you're like, oh, wait, that. Because, like, if it was a random person, immediately. Not like, you know what I mean?

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Heath]

But like, I would just be so. I'd be like, hold on, let me see it.

[Zane]

Oh, like, before reporting it, like, I need just your.

[Heath]

Your own curiosity.

[Matt]

Because, you know, it's like, like, yeah, no one's home.

[Heath]

Right.

[Matt]

And especially if it's like, you know, the person. Oh, I'm gonna watch for a little.

[Heath]

That's what I'm saying.

[Zane]

Yeah, that's true.

[Matt]

Got you on camera, so I'm gonna see what you're doing. Interesting.

[Heath]

And he probably saw like, that he got busted on that first. And he was like, you know what? I gotta find something now. You know, I'm already going down.

[Matt]

Yeah. What?

[Heath]

Did he make it worth it?

[Matt]

I think it's just something dirty and sexual.

[Zane]

I want to know. I. If anybody's listening that lives in that area and knows the. Just knows the situation or knows anybody connected to this, please let us know. I have to know.

[Heath]

I couldn't hear the video, but did they know, like, did they know each other or was it just like.

[Zane]

No, no, they knew each other.

[Matt]

Dinner. Like, they were showing how close they were.

[Zane]

They showed a dinner that they were both at and they were. They were close. She was very shocked to find out that that was him. She like.

[Matt]

Or it's more like PDF situation. Maybe he was interested in the daughter's bedroom. I think because she was single, there's something there. And that he was already stalking her. He was really interested.

[Zane]

He was newly single.

[Matt]

Yeah. So I think the newly single is a layer in his interest in targeting her.

[Zane]

Do you think, do you think the pastor has anything to do with the divorce?

[Matt]

Maybe. Who knows? Sometimes people, when they're about to get divorced, they go through marriage counseling, through their own ministry. They get to hear the whole situational trouble going on at home.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And then they feel like emotionally connected to it.

[Zane]

He felt like he needed. He felt like he needed to investigate it.

[Matt]

Yeah. Or he was going in there maybe to plant his own camera to like, get more information on her and know things how are going on at home. Weaseling his way psychologically into her head.

[Zane]

That, That I think makes the most

[Heath]

sense because, you know, you know, it was like, like, you know, till death do you part. Like it's in the scripture and everything. But listen, it's okay.

[Matt]

You.

[Heath]

You can make an exception. And he's like trying to like, convince her.

[Matt]

Yeah, yeah.

[Heath]

It's okay to separate. Don't. Don't overthink it. And he's like, I'm curious if they

[Matt]

found anything on his body. When they finally caught him, he escaped. Oh, he escaped before they could get him. Pardon me.

[Zane]

So I think they got him maybe when he's home or whatever. So they. Definitely, Definitely. But yeah, I'd be curious to see what was on him. But the, the planting, like a mic or camera makes so much sense. Yeah.

[Matt]

You just have psychological control.

[Zane]

She's not talking to anybody.

[Matt]

Yeah. Overhearing conversations with her girlfriends and stuff. And then he goes, wow, it seems like. Or I bet you're probably trying to look for something right now, but you really want to prioritize your. Yourself first. Like saying everything they want to hear because he already knows the information.

[Zane]

I mean, honestly, kind of cute.

[Heath]

No, but he's playing it like. No, no, no, Zayn. He's playing it like God's telling me that you're talking. You're talking to somebody who's not good for you. You need to.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Heath]

You need to not go that route. I'm getting. I'm getting something.

[Zane]

Yeah. Hey. I mean, I feel like out of everything that could. I feel like that's probably best case scenario.

[Matt]

Maybe we'll find out more.

[Zane]

Talking to anybody else because he wants to make a move.

[Heath]

You know, that church is talking

[Zane]

to be a fly in that fucking room.

[Matt]

Megachurch pastors always freak me out. I know that there are good people out there that lead good causes and have a good parish of people. By all means. I believe that there's goodness in it, but there's. Some of those personalities are like, you're in it for the wrong reasons.

[Zane]

Megachurches. I'm not mega churches specifically. I think like the head of a megachurch who is like taking all these donations from people going to the church church and putting it into their like, like getting private jets. And to me that's so weird because it's all in the sense of like religion and faith and God.

[Matt]

You're making money off people's prayers.

[Zane]

Yeah, exactly.

[Matt]

And like never made sense to me,

[Zane]

but it's so normal. And everybody at these churches that go there, they know that this is happening. They know their money is going to

[Heath]

that, but they're fine without theirs.

[Zane]

They don't think it's theirs. Yeah, they have to know it's there.

[Matt]

Sometimes like mega church pastors can have book deals. They also get paid to go speak at other ministries and worship retreats and stuff. They have these other ways, but it's not taxed. None of it's taxed either. Like churches are. So it's all this like tax free money and it's like the way they allocate it is like all behind closed doors. Kenneth Copeland, Freaky motherfucker.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Oh my God, he's got crazy eyes. Oh, I just had to buy it because Jesus told me so. I mean, I needed a Private Jedi. It almost. Oh, God.

[Zane]

Is definitely based off him, right?

[Matt]

Oh yeah. Kenneth Copeland is a sit in a,

[Heath]

in a tube with a bunch of demons.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Cuz he's like, I can't be on a commercial jet because if God starts talking to me, I need to get up and speak to him. I can't be, you know, in my own little seat belt.

[Zane]

That's like, that's a great thing to investigate mega churches. Like, like for a YouTuber to like get in, get in on like the, that whole world.

[Matt]

Just put it there was good.

[Heath]

There was one. I. There was one. I saw where the pastor was taking donations and this lady like walks up and yes, gave like $4,000 or something like that. And he was like mad. He's like, I told you if you had $8,000 in your bank account, you need to give it all. And you're up here giving 4,000.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

He's like, y' all not listening to me. I said this was a five thousand dollar donation. She's like, well, I'm sorry, I'll get you next time. Time. Yeah, that guy, that guy's crazy. Also the one where he's like, lock the doors. No, I said lock the doors. We're not. None of y' all are leaving until we reach like $20,000 in donations and stuff. Lock the doors. Weird, crazy stuff.

[Zane]

That's weird.

[Heath]

I mean, yeah, like, she gave thousands. And he's like, no, I told you, it needs to be what it was. 5,000. It was something absurd. And I'm like, yeah, that's not. She's like, I don't have it.

[Zane]

There's no, like, sense of, like, what's it called? Like, money. Not money. You know. You know when. You know when you're holding a nonprofit and if you get caught with money going to, like, other things, it's, like, illegal.

[Matt]

Right.

[Zane]

Is this considered illegal in this sense? Or this is like, because it's a private, like, what?

[Heath]

So hard to go after, like, right?

[Matt]

It's like putting like a metaphorical gun to someone's head, saying, like, yeah, no, it's deeply frowned upon. But I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I think it's wrong with it saying, lock the doors and people can't leave until you reach a certain amount of money. That's crazy. It's more just like, no, it's like, deeply frowned upon. And thank goodness with social media and it goes out, people are able to be like, that's crazy. You're crazy. This whole situation's. Because if it's not documented, then so you're just.

[Heath]

You're just like, preying on, you know, like the fear mongering of, like, you need to do this for God's approval.

[Zane]

But also, I feel like all these people that do go to these big mega churches and have that type of money, they're probably all fucking loaded too, where they're just like. Like, they have all this money. They're paying.

[Heath]

A lot of people are giving everything that they have a lot of times

[Zane]

because they also want to be. They want to be known as the person that's giving up a lot of money. So they, they're paid attention to by, like, the.

[Matt]

It's a toxic culture. Yeah, it really is. Where you're defined by, like, how much you're giving back.

[Caller/Guest]

This quote's insane. Jesse Duplantis argued he needed a fourth private jet because Jesus wouldn't be riding a donkey.

[Matt]

And that plane helps. Jesus travels.

[Heath]

Did ride a donkey.

[Caller/Guest]

That's exactly what he did.

[Zane]

A plane helps them travel faster.

[Matt]

To spread the gospel.

[Zane]

Yes. Yeah. I mean, yes.

[Caller/Guest]

That's. That's how they get around it. Zane is like. They argue. It's like, no, this is. I, you know, I can spread the gospel faster with a fourth private jet or I can hear God better In this, like, five million dollar mansion because you.

[Heath]

Because you're closer to God. You're up in the air, baby.

[Caller/Guest]

Exactly.

[Matt]

Makes me sick.

[Heath]

So sad.

[Matt]

Here it is, guys, the segment that you have been waiting for.

[Zane]

That's right, baby. For the first. Have we done this here? Maybe we have.

[Matt]

No, we have not done this.

[Zane]

We have a long time ago, though, but we decided we wanted to bring it back. This segment is called the unfiltered advice segment.

[Heath]

That's right, baby. And we're going to be answering your burning questions. We have a number on the screen for you guys if you want to submit for the next episode. And if you're an audio listener, the number is 805-616-2035. Let's jump into it.

[Matt]

All right.

[Zane]

We're gonna do our very first one. How exciting.

[Caller]

Hi, Zane. Hi. He's. Hi, Matt. Hi, Mariah. I'm not gonna give you my name and I'm gonna keep this kind of short. I wanted to know what you guys would do if you worked in a professional office and you found out that your two co workers were having an affair with each other. So essentially, you know, both of them are dating each other while being married. Everyone in the office pretty much knows, and it makes it very uncomfortable for absolutely everyone. And it's just a really interesting situation. Yeah. I just wanted to know what would you do if you were kind of in the mix of all of that? All right, thank you. I love you guys so much. Bye.

[Zane]

Thank you.

[Matt]

Great question, girl.

[Zane]

Get on TikTok. TikTok story time. We all want to see it. We all want us. But to. To start, I. First of all, where's hr? I feel like HR would probably know that these two are both having an affair.

[Matt]

I don't know if the HR can get that deep about, like. Well, I think having an inner office relationship. Yeah, he's like, against HR code.

[Zane]

Yeah, exactly.

[Matt]

Ooh. I don't. I really don't know. And also, I don't know. Are these people your superiors? Are they like your true fellow, like, co workers on your same level? Because, like, I don't know, your superiors are the ones who, like, call the shots for you to rise in the company. I. Oh, this is a good one.

[Zane]

I feel like. I feel like if I was in your position, I definitely wouldn't do anything about it because I'm. I'm not gonna stir that up. Like, I'm not gonna start that in the office. And I also don't want to. I'm not saying to Protect these people or whatever. But, like, I just. I don't want to be that person. To like, be the bearer of bad

[Heath]

news is what you mean.

[Zane]

Yeah, to like, like. Or to get him fired or to get, like, just. I wouldn't want.

[Matt]

I feel like I would stay gossiping, though. Yeah. Just like, if you're saying the whole office is aware of it, then I'd keep talking about it. Like, don't you think that's just crazy? Wait for the office Christmas party because they're gonna both be bringing their spouses and I don't know. I'm not saying set something up, but it would be interesting to see. I would try for my own entertainment to get a situation where they are bringing their spouses together.

[Heath]

Yeah, let's talk about the dinner or something.

[Zane]

Yeah, but you. You want to create that environment where they have to bring.

[Matt]

Because maybe in that moment they'll realize it's wrong and the whole thing will fizzle out.

[Zane]

They know it's. They know it's wrong. They know exactly what they're doing.

[Matt]

We just need a step two. So make it entertaining for yourself and.

[Zane]

Yeah, yeah, I do like that. I mean, no, yeah. Come up with an event or a party, a little gathering where you invite all the co workers. Workers, obviously invite them and have everybody bring their significant others. That's a must. You have to have them bring their pluses and then see. See what happens from there. And it won't look like that you're trying to, like, start anything or whatever. You're just genuinely having a party with your co workers and you're inviting everybody.

[Matt]

Or just find a way to give an anonymous tip to one of their significant other saying, hey, I think your husband's having an affair in the office anonymously. Because you're saying the whole office knows that. They're not going to know that it came from you. Yes. You're being a rat, actually. I mean, I don't know. You're asking a us. I wouldn't do that. It's saying I'm giving you options.

[Zane]

If I was. I mean, obviously this is a completely different story. But like, if I was like, close, obviously with the significant others, or obviously I would say something like, that's up. But, like, these are your co workers. I feel like there's a line and I feel like that's not your line to cross really, to. To. To reach out to anybody and. And tell on them.

[Heath]

But also, like, I'm not saying this is it. It's probably not, but you don't Know what their marriage is like. They could be open swingers. You don't know.

[Matt]

And they could be in abusive relationships.

[Heath]

You have. You have no idea. And I'm not justifying it, but you go in, you cross that line, and they're like, oh, yeah, I know.

[Zane]

Now you look like the bad guy.

[Heath]

Right. You don't want to. You don't want to shoot yourself in the foot.

[Zane]

Exactly. Set that party up.

[Matt]

So that's what we would do.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Let it unfold in front of everyone's eyes, though.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

And if they are swingers and they're all open, then you, you. Then you. You found out, like, join the fun. Yeah. Join the next one.

[Matt]

Yeah. Go to the next key party or whatever they're doing. Or.

[Heath]

Or just like, just talk to one of them straight up. Be like, all right, we all know what's going on. Like, what. What are you. What are you thinking? Like, try to. Try to dig more.

[Caller]

Or.

[Zane]

Or I'd be chatting it up with the. With those significant others. I'd be like, hey, so how long have you guys been dating for? Oh, I'd get everything out of them. Oh, yeah. But the thing is that if everybody in the office knows they would never show up to a party with their. With their plot, with their.

[Matt]

Their significant other husband and girl, I

[Zane]

would, like, I just. If I was cheating, I would never do that. But if I was cheating, I would never put myself in that position.

[Heath]

Sticky, sticky, sticky.

[Zane]

Thank you. No name. We appreciate it.

[Matt]

And great question. And thank you for being succinct. If you're submitting questions, be succinct. Get to the point too, because you're more likely to be featured.

[Zane]

Literally. That is the perfect example of how you guys should put your. Your questions, your advice.

[Matt]

Yeah, go for 45. Aim it for that.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

All right, next one.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay. This one is also a co worker one.

[Matt]

Oh, okay.

[Caller]

Let me tell you about my crazy ass job that I think I should quit, but I'm not sure because it's just so interesting. I'll just keep it short and sweet like you said. All the owners in the higher ups in this salon that I work at, they all live together. They're all doing, you know, what with each other being nasty. Even some of them are sibling. Like, oh, my gosh, it's so crazy. I want to leave so bad because they just run it like. Like it feels like a cult, honestly. And I'm not. I mean, they're having, you know, what with each other. Of course it feels like a cult. And like, apparently, if they like you, like, you get invited to their parties. And I'm like, I don't. They like me. I don't want to go to their parties. I want to leave, but I'm lowkey, like, entertained, and I just don't know what I.

[Zane]

Yes. Okay.

[Heath]

We're just going to breeze over. Siblings.

[Zane]

Yeah, that I saw. I heard that too, but so everybody. Their. Works together, they all. They all fuck and they're. Some of them are siblings.

[Caller/Guest]

Siblings, yes.

[Heath]

And they all live together.

[Zane]

So if I were to make a guess that I don't think the siblings are hooking up, but the siblings are part of the culture cult. Exactly. I wouldn't leave. If they like you. You're getting paid well. You're doing what you love, which is cutting hair.

[Heath]

Just be safe.

[Matt]

Yeah. You can set your own boundaries with the whole situation. And I think the reason why you want to stay is because you're entertained. The moment you feel like you're unsafe life, then leave.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And I. And what you are sitting on some great gossip. I don't know if you get your hair cut done at that salon, but go to another salon. Hair salon people love to hear gossip. Tell them about the situation you're going through at the salon you're currently at and that you're looking for a safer environment. I bet someone who is a salon or a hair stylist at wherever you're telling this dude, they'll be like, oh, you can totally get a job here. It's a good community with that. So. So that's my option in terms of getting out of it. But if you're staying to be entertained, I don't know, go to these parties. Yeah.

[Zane]

Get more tea, obviously, if you're safe. Stay there. But, like, I think it's so important to be entertained at your job because, I mean, those hours can be so long, and it can feel like 15 hours. So if you're entertained and you genuinely, like, are enjoying it, I would just stay.

[Heath]

Just get a pair of the meta Ray Bans going to that party.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

That's what I would do. Do.

[Matt]

But that's interesting.

[Zane]

Yeah, interesting. Thank you for your call. What do you call these call?

[Matt]

Ins. Thank you for your submission.

[Zane]

Thank you for submission.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay, this one is. It's a quick one, and it is directed towards Heath, but I think everyone can answer because it's about.

[Matt]

Sure. Kids. Hey, what's up, guys? My name is Nick. I am from North Carolina, and my question is for Heath.

[Heath]

At what age are you gonna let that.

[Matt]

What's his name? What, what age you gonna let him date?

[Caller]

God damn it.

[Heath]

Tony.

[Zane]

That dude. That's literally me putting any submission in for my favorite podcast.

[Matt]

So what age will you let Tony date?

[Heath]

Damn, that's so tough.

[Zane]

I think, I think it's all circumstance. Like, for my kid. It's all circumstance. Like, I feel like it's because, like.

[Heath]

Okay, what, what, how do we define dating? I think that's like where you're able to go take somebody out alone. Like, that's what I feel like would be dating. And you can't do that until you're in high school.

[Matt]

Right. Yeah, I agree.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

You can be out with friends, though. I mean, like if you're in middle school, you can go out together as friends, but one on one time, that's a whole different conversation.

[Zane]

Your son, your son likes a girl. Girl likes him back.

[Matt]

No.

[Heath]

No alone time.

[Zane]

But he's in high school or they're in middle school.

[Heath]

No alone time in middle school. Absolutely not.

[Zane]

So. So she, so she comes over, they hang out in the living room.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zane]

At the house.

[Heath]

High. High school come over. You can have dinner, we'll cook dinner, we'll make some macaroni, some chicken cutlet, hang out, watch some tv. No bedroom time.

[Zane]

And then, and then you go home.

[Heath]

And then I will drop both of them. You go ride and then take them home. Take her home, do the thing, and then that's it.

[Zane]

And this happens until ninth grade.

[Heath]

Even, even in ninth grade. Until, I feel like, until you can have like your own car bar and you're like paying for dates, doing that type of.

[Zane]

Yeah. You have a job.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zane]

You're doing, you're, you're getting your chores done. Like you, it's, it's a privilege.

[Matt]

And I think it's just also having a good sense of judgment on your kid.

[Zane]

Exactly.

[Matt]

Like, if my kid though is like bailing in school, not listening and not obeying like our orders, you don't get those privileges. If my kids is, I think has a good sense of, you know, my expectations and my boundaries as a parent and is willing to respect me, then I can have that sense of trust in him. Yeah. And he can enjoy those privileges. Is.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

But.

[Zane]

And the way, and the way he treat, like, I feel like his priorities, the way he treats things is going to probably be the way he treats her too.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

So I feel like you don't want to put her in. Her or him, whatever, in a position where if you know your kid is like just acting up or Bad or, you know, whatever.

[Matt]

And I think also having conversations too, with the other kids, like parents as well, to where you're both on the same page and you're friendly and stuff. Because, like, that's also one thing that's like, you don't want. Like they're the significant other, the person that they're dating that may be against their own parents rules and they're hiding something and they're maybe being intimate to the point where their parents are uncomfortable. It's just. It's a whole big thing about having a conversation about it and using your discretion. That's my take.

[Heath]

Love that.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay, we can do one more.

[Caller]

Hi, my question is for all of you guys. So I am now 27. I found out this year that my dad who raised me my whole life is not my biological father in. In a crazy way. And I haven't told my biological father or the guy who raised me about finding out that he wasn't my real d. And I'm curious how you guys think I should go about that. And it's a crazy story. I'd love to tell you guys all the details. Yeah.

[Zane]

Wow.

[Matt]

Wow.

[Heath]

23 and me, probably.

[Matt]

And so wait, just clarify it because I feel like I got a little misconfused. The dad that has raised her her entire life is not her dad. Biological dad. Does she know her biological dad or. That's not in the equation.

[Zane]

I'm trying to.

[Matt]

I'm saying, how does she disclose to the guy who's raised her that I know you're not my biological dad? Well, you know what? In this situation, you're 27. 7. You're a full adult. And I think you have every right to express that you know this. And hopefully you guys have had a good relationship, that he has raised you your entire life. Go and get dinner and just come from a place and it seems like you.

[Zane]

Wait, does she know who her biological dad is?

[Heath]

I guess it just depends on, like, if her mom is still with this guy. I would obviously go to my mom and be like, hey, mom, like, I just found this out.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Do you know this?

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Heath]

If not, I definitely think there's a talk that needs to probably happen.

[Zane]

I feel like, I mean, if my parents never told me I was 27 and they never told me, in my head I was like, oh, it must have been, like, bad. It must have been like a something where they wanted to protect me. They didn't want to tell me because they didn't want me to feel bad about it. My dad was My dad was probably abusive or my dad was not a good parent. Whatever. So I am a little confused why. You're 27 and you weren't told this

[Heath]

yet, but maybe the dad doesn't know. So I think.

[Matt]

I think I'm a little curious on what your motivation is in terms of having this conversation and letting him know. Do you want the peace of mind that he just knows that you know? Or like.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And if you do have this conversation, if you do love him, it doesn't make him any less of a dad, a figure that he's been your entire life. Life. But I think if you do come, if you do disclose it and you do love him, come from a place of love, remind him that this doesn't make you anything less of a dad. I just want you to know that I know, and in a way, deep down, it doesn't matter because you'll always be my dad.

[Heath]

Okay. So I would come from a place totally different. I thought her dad that raised her does not know that he's not the real father.

[Matt]

Oh, well, then that's.

[Zane]

That's the thing I was trying to figure out, like, why. How. How she was saying it.

[Matt]

Then that's something I think you should really talk to the mom about too.

[Heath]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

[Matt]

Because that's like a really dependent variable on it. So. Yes. Talk with the mom. Oh, yeah. Because if it's something where he really thinks that you're the biological kid. But you know what? Even though that is a tough, scary situation, it's not like a gotcha thing. It's going, hey, I'm struggling with this. Of some information I found. Are you aware of this? And then how do we work through it together?

[Zane]

Yeah, like.

[Matt]

Like it just coming from a place of love in a situation like this is the best, but.

[Zane]

Or just send him.

[Matt]

You're 27.

[Zane]

I mean, or just send him that meme, that vine meme where the kid goes, you're not my dad. And send that to him and see how he reacts to that. But I would say first talk to him first. Yeah.

[Heath]

You always want to hear something.

[Matt]

And if you also feel scared in that situation, you can also have a friend. You bring a support system. Like, just you can have someone to, like, lean on you has your back support. So even if you maybe feel lost for words or you do feel like it's uncomfortable, you have someone there to, like, support you through that conversation and make them feel less guilty or ashamed. It's in this situation like this, it's not a bad idea to like have a buddy with you who maybe has gone through a similar experience. But yeah, there are some layers to it. I wish I had information, but yeah, that's a really great question. Yeah.

[Zane]

Great submission.

[Caller/Guest]

It's Remy.

[Zane]

Oh, my God.

[Heath]

Remy.

[Matt]

Alicia. I haven't seen you on forever.

[Zane]

Oh, my God.

[Matt]

Ollie.

[Caller/Guest]

Dude, I thought someone was breaking in.

[Heath]

Hey, squad.

[Matt]

Bye, guys. Let's get together soon. Please, please, please.

[Heath]

All right.

[Zane]

I think that comes down to the end of the episode. Huh? That was great. I love this segment. We should try this every time.

[Matt]

Yeah, no, really great. So much the. The also the subtitles and everything. Great. So on point. Really easy to follow.

[Zane]

Yeah. For our, for our, for our short attention span.

[Heath]

It was perfect. That's our K. Yeah.

[Zane]

But. All right. Thank you guys so much for tuning into another episode of Zany Heath Unfiltered. You can check out these episodes every Monday audio form on all podcast platforms and every Tuesday and every Tuesday video form on YouTube.com Zayn and Heath also

[Heath]

make sure to check out the Patreon. Patreon.com Zane and Heath. We're going to jump into an unwind. We keep the cameras rolling, keep hanging out for a little while longer, you know, talk about some stuff we don't normally talk about. We do a bonus episode every month, a live Q and a every single month. It's a great time. Again, it's at patreon.com Zane and Heath if you want to check it out.

[Zane]

All right, unwinders, we'll see you in about five seconds. We love you so much and we'll see you next week, baby.

[Matt]

Toodaloo.

[Zane]

Tyler reddick here from 2311 Racing, Victory Lane. Yeah, it's even better with Chumba by my side. Race to chumbacasino.com let's Chumba.

[Matt]

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[Alex Kanchwitz]

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[Matt]

Plenty more.

[Alex Kanchwitz]

So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices, in meetings with your colleagues and at dinner parties, listen to Big Technology podcast wherever you get your podcasts.

[Zane]

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[Heath]

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[Zane]

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