340: Heaths Friend Caught Hooking Up Mid Flight

Summary

Zane and Heath: Unfiltered – Episode 340
“He Joined the Mile High Club?!”
July 6, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively installment of "Zane and Heath: Unfiltered," the group catches up on family visits, parenthood, and life in Nashville before diving into a hilariously candid set of topics. The discussion covers everything from animation makeovers (with a passionate tangent about Shrek’s Princess Fiona), bug encounters, AI logo design, and the realities of flight attendant life—including a jaw-dropping story about hooking up in the skies. The episode is packed with the group’s signature banter and blends nostalgia, pop culture, and personal philosophy with plenty of laughs.

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Main Topics & Highlights

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1. Family Updates & Life in Nashville

[01:01–04:09]

• Heath updates the group on his busy Nashville house, with both Mariah’s mom and his own parents visiting.
  • “We got a little full house.” – Heath [01:50]
• His parents are considering house hunting to move closer, and the group reflects on the value of family living nearby.
• Matt brings up a poignant TikTok quote about fleeting childhood:
  • “You only get one summer with your baby. Three with your toddler, nine with your child, five with your teenage.” – Matt [04:09]
  • This sparks a discussion about how quickly time passes, especially as a parent.

Notable Moment:

• The hosts reminisce about making up for lost time with family and reflect on cherishing each stage of life.

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2. Parenting, Growing Up, and Time

[04:09–08:43]

• More on the TikTok quote and the stages of childhood: baby, toddler, child, teenager.
• Heath shares Tony’s developmental milestones, like using a walker:
  • “He is zooming across the house. He’s doing laps around the kitchen island.” – Heath [07:59]
• Zane and Matt discuss coordinating family visits and annual trips, and the importance of traditions for maintaining friendships.

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3. Adventure, Risk, and Settling Down

[09:45–10:48]

• Talk shifts to Heath’s annual backpacking trips with friends and how fatherhood changes perspectives on risk.
• Zane urges caution:
  • “I feel like selfishly your life, man, I just don’t think you should…doing those type of trips.” [10:15]
• They share anecdotes about close calls, disease risks, and the classic “horror movie” feeling of exploring new places.

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4. Bugs, Beetles, and Childhood Memories

[11:15–13:28]

• Heath shows off a photo of a Hercules beetle he found, sparking reactions:
  • “That looks like something from Power Rangers that would, like, be 10 stories tall and just wreck havoc on the community.” – Matt [11:52]
• Discussion on bugs, childhood hand-dimples, and “boy genetics.”

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5. Animation & Shrek Rant

[14:04–19:01]

• Heath vents about Princess Fiona’s glow-up in later Shrek movies, feeling it contradicts her original message:
  • “They beautified her and made her this like…I—it's great.” – Heath [14:52]
• Matt and Zane poke fun at animation trends and adult jokes snuck into kids’ movies, like Lord Farquaad’s infamous scene:
  • “He gets a little erection under the bed.” – Matt [19:09]
• Discussion on subtle innuendoes in children’s programming.

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6. AI Logos, Branding, and Butt Hole Jokes

[22:15–25:13]

• Viral TikTok observations: Why do all AI company logos look like buttholes?
  • “Why does every AI company…logo look like a butthole?” – Zane [22:31]
• Jared brings up Kurt Vonnegut’s “asterisk” art and Hank Green’s video on AI logos.
• Conversation on branding history like Lululemon’s potentially controversial origin story.

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7. Shorts, Swimwear, and "Boy Math"

[25:52–29:58]

• The group hilariously laments modern shorts and bathing suits, uncomfortable liners, and accidental exposure:
  • “You get out of the water…and you can see the head of your penis.” – Matt [27:54]
• Real talk on male insecurities: shrinkage, “torpedo” shapes, and TMI moments.
  • “If the girls got to see us [post-shrinkage], we would all be single.” – Zane [29:16]

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8. Mud Baths, Spa Fads, and Wellness Trends

[30:33–34:09]

• Gross-out chat about communal mud baths and the real cleanliness of spas.
• Salt rooms, sleep therapy, and napping at work—are they really effective or just expensive fads?

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9. Work-Life Balance & Tipping Culture

[34:44–39:16]

• Praise for Europe’s four-day workweeks and the shift towards remote work post-COVID.
• Real-world hardship: Matt overhears a server who made only $9 after a full shift, sparking a debate on tipping culture and restaurant economics.

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10. The Secret Lives of Flight Attendants & “Mile High Club” Confession

[40:59–44:44]

• The group imagines life as a flight attendant, including shifting schedules and rest breaks.
• Heath shares a jaw-dropping anecdote:
  • “He said he was smashing stewardess after stewardess on the planes.” – Heath [44:09]
• They speculate about flight attendant “hookup culture” and recall seeing scandals play out in real life, joking about “turbulence” and the literal Mile High Club.

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11. Video Game Challenge: Mom Edition

[45:02–49:04]

• Thought experiment: Would you rather spend 10 years in jail or until your mom beats Elden Ring/Grand Theft Auto (with no coaching)?
  • “This question’s stressing me out, like thinking that it’s a real life situation.” – Zane [48:20]
  • Most agree that trusting mom is better than guaranteed 10 years.

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12. Pop Culture, Glow-Ups, and More

[49:26–53:12]

• Zane updates on his mom’s surgery and future video plans, playfully addresses rumors about a “lip lift.”
• Brief chatter about "Love Island" and how reality TV is increasingly demanding.
  • “They should bring it down to, like, 30 minutes an episode…That’s a lot.” – Zane [51:59]

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13. Sports Age Shock and Admiration

[53:42–57:28]

• The hosts react to the age of professional athletes and realize they’re now older than many NFL players.
• Admiration for soccer star Erling Haaland and young talents in sports:
  • “There’s a new F1 driver that’s 19.” – Heath [55:44]
• Reflections on peaking and aging.

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14. Celebrity Circles & Ticket Etiquette

[57:28–61:50]

• Celebrity name-dropping: Zane and Heath’s tangential connections to music artist Ella Langley and “House of the Dragon” cast.
• Matt awkwardly debates asking for free concert tickets:
  • “Do I sound like a dick?” – Matt [60:19]
• Group explores social norms about comp tickets and being considerate with celebrity friends.

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Notable Quotes & Fun Moments

• On fleeting childhood:
  “You only get one summer with your baby. Three with your toddler...” – Matt [04:09]
• On Shrek’s evolved animation:
  “They beautified her…she got a full face transplant!” – Heath [14:17]
• Bug horror:
  “That looks like something from Power Rangers…that would wreck havoc on the community.” – Matt [11:52]
• On reality TV:
  “They should bring it down to, like, 30 minutes an episode.” – Zane [51:59]
• On sports and age:
  “I still can’t get it through my brain that I am significantly older than NFL players.” – Heath [53:42]
• On the Mile High Club:
  “He said he was smashing stewardess after stewardess on the planes.” – Heath [44:09]

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Timestamps For Key Segments

• [01:01] – Family visits and moving closer
• [04:09] – The fleeting stages of childhood
• [07:59] – Tony’s milestone in the walker
• [11:19] – Hercules beetle sighting
• [14:17] – Rant on Shrek’s Fiona “glow-up”
• [19:09] – Shrek innuendos and adult humor
• [22:31] – AI logos as buttholes
• [25:52] – Lululemon, shorts, and male bathing suit grievances
• [27:54] – The perils of swimwear and “shrinkage”
• [34:44] – Four-day work week dreams
• [37:56] – Tipping culture dilemmas
• [40:59] – Flight attendant secrets and the Mile High Club
• [45:02] – Mom plays Elden Ring: would you risk it?
• [49:26] – Updates on Zane’s mom’s surgery
• [51:36] – Unpacking “Love Island” episode overload
• [53:42] – Surprised to be older than pro athletes
• [57:28] – Asking for concert tickets: etiquette or overstep?

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Tone & Style

The conversation is loose, fast-paced, and playful—sprinkled with inside jokes, pop culture references, and a willingness to veer into TMI territory. The group balances sarcasm, self-deprecation, and sincerity, giving listeners an authentic “hangout” feel with bursts of genuine insight about family, adulthood, and friendships.

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Summary

This episode of "Zane and Heath: Unfiltered" juggles heartfelt family moments, unfiltered observations on modern life, pop culture rants, and complete comedic chaos—anchored by the hosts’ chemistry and personal revelations. From why AI logos look like buttholes to how fast childhood flies by, and a flight attendant’s sexcapades, listeners get the full spectrum of the group’s dynamic, humor, and honest reflections on growing up (and getting older) in the spotlight.

Transcript

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[Heath]

Sorry, guys. I don't know why. I know it was 10, but for some reason in my phone I wrote down 11, so.

[Matt]

Well, thank goodness everything's good. Zane and I were worried.

[Zane]

Yeah, we were worried. It was like, this is unlike Heath. Yeah, I'm calling everybody. No one's answering. And then I went to your brother. I was like, he's definitely gonna probably be working in that garage or in that basement. So I'm gonna call him. He didn't answer. I was like, popping off and I was like, okay, so while we wait, Matt and I should just run it for a little bit until you come. But then you called.

[Matt]

You got it.

[Zane]

We were about to start.

[Heath]

Sorry about that.

[Zane]

And we were like, you know what? Let's just get started.

[Matt]

No, man, it's good. Hey, Heath.

[Zane]

It's okay.

[Matt]

How's everything on the daddy front?

[Heath]

Doing good. We've got Mariah's mom in town. She's been here for two weeks. She leaves tonight. And then my parents just came into town two days ago.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Heath]

So we got a little full house.

[Matt]

Little 4th of July full house.

[Heath]

Yeah. So we did a little Sunday dinner yesterday.

[Zane]

Those visits are going to turn longer and longer. Every time my mom would come into town, she would stay for, like, you know, one more week, and then another week, another week. And now she's. Whenever she comes, it's like, it'll be like a month and a half, two months.

[Jared]

Hey, baby.

[Heath]

I'm going to come for, like, six months. Is that okay?

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Are your parents retired?

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Guest]

Yeah.

[Zane]

So they can't. So they can do that if they want.

[Heath]

Yeah, but they're. They're looking. So this trip, they're going to be here through the 4th of July, so they're going to try to do a little house hunting.

[Matt]

What?

[Zane]

No way.

[Matt]

As a secondary home or, like, moving away from their place in Tennessee. They're going to move?

[Heath]

Yeah. They want to do.

[Matt]

How far is the drive right now for them?

[Heath]

Like, three and a half hours.

[Matt]

Okay. Yeah. That's like.

[Heath]

So it's not like, a quick little thing.

[Matt]

Like, it's a commitment.

[Heath]

Yeah. And it's also, like, you know, they have to plan it ahead, so they're like, all right, we're going to stay for multiple days. But they would like to be able to just bounce back and forth, you know?

[Zane]

I didn't think you'd be able to, like, wrangle them on your side.

[Heath]

Me got my brother getting my parents

[Matt]

over here, pulling them in.

[Zane]

I really. He. I'm not going to lie. I really thought at some point, maybe in a few years, you guys would be like, you know, let's just move to, like, closer to the, like, Mariah's. Like, you all would move.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

I don't know.

[Zane]

Like, it always happens.

[Heath]

They.

[Zane]

So I didn't know what was going to happen. I did not think they would move from there to Nashville.

[Heath]

The thing is, they've all fallen in love with it here.

[Matt]

That's good.

[Zane]

It is really, like, chill and calm.

[Heath]

Like, my brother would come visit, like, when he was still living over there, like, about three hours away, he would just. He was like, there's just everything here. It's so convenient. It's nice. The people are amazing. There's so much to do. So, like, my parents are like, I don't want to leave. Like, we love being here. So I think, you know, just having those multiple visits, they're just like, all right. Yeah, we don't want to. We don't want to go back. We want to be here.

[Matt]

Good.

[Zane]

Damn, I'm so jealous of you. That's so. You're so lucky. I want my family to live.

[Heath]

I know. I know. It's been really nice, but it just feels like we're making up for the 11 years I've been gone.

[Zane]

Yeah. You know, I get it.

[Heath]

Didn't really get to see him too much, like, a couple times a year on the holidays and birthdays and things like that. But now it's like, we're making up for lost time. It feels good.

[Zane]

Yeah. And also, like, you know, I was so thankful to have my, like, grandparents and my parents all around me.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zane]

So I get it.

[Heath]

Super excited to have that for Tony.

[Matt]

Speaking of Tony, I saw this, like, TikTok or it was just like, a little, like, quote, you know, just text on top of this image and just, like, about parenthood, and it kind of rocked my world. You only get one summer with your baby. Three with your toddler, nine with your child, five with your teenage.

[Heath]

It's crazy.

[Matt]

It's shorter than, like, what you think it is.

[Zane]

Sorry, five.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

What?

[Matt]

You only. You only get a summer with your baby once. You only get.

[Zane]

What do you mean?

[Heath]

As a. As a baby and then as a

[Zane]

toddler once they're one. Yeah, they're a toddler.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

Okay. So sorry. Well, let's, like. All right, break it down.

[Matt]

Let's break this down.

[Zane]

So five years as a toddler.

[Matt]

No, three as a toddler.

[Zane]

As a toddler.

[Matt]

Nine with your child.

[Zane]

Okay, okay, sorry.

[Matt]

Five with your teenager.

[Zane]

Okay, okay. So, like, I kept hearing, like, the first. And then this. I was like, wait, wait, wa.

[Heath]

Isn't a baby, a toddler and a child the same thing?

[Zane]

Yeah, I'm just. Yeah, sorry. But it was like, it's. It's like a. It's a quote that you realize how

[Matt]

just limited of time you truly have with a certain chapter of their life. Like, I think some people think, like, oh, it's a baby. I'm gonna have this baby forever. No, that baby's going to grow into a toddler pretty damn fast. And it's just like, I saw one.

[Heath]

It was very similar. It was like, this is the only summer where your kid's not able to walk.

[Shannon Maldonado]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Like. Like, this is the only summer they'll ever have where they're not able to, like, run around and, like, do their thing, you know?

[Zane]

But to me, it's still so long, because being out here for, like, we've been out here for 12 years. In 12, like, 12 years. Tony is only 12. He's, like, still a child and still living with you for a. But a few more years, which is

[Heath]

about to go into high school, though. Like, that's kind of.

[Zane]

I know, but that's like. To me, that's so, like, I feel like when you have a baby, I feel like that is. You just gained so much more time for. It's like, yeah, boy math.

[Matt]

Do you feel like time has gone by fast?

[Heath]

I. I was. I. I kept telling people, they're like, oh, like, just random people I'll meet out here. They're like, how long have you been in Nashville? I'll be like, oh, like six months. And then you're like, I looked at it. I moved. End of July. I'm about to be a year. That's crazy. It doesn't feel like a year.

[Zane]

And the fact that you're, like, 39,

[Matt]

dude.

[Zane]

And then you're gonna age in doggy

[Heath]

years, in n.

[Matt]

Because I've been thinking about that. I feel like times are going by really, really fast, but then, like, oh, but maybe when I get a kid, it'll seem slower.

[Zane]

I feel like it would go back down. No, it.

[Heath]

Dude, the days just bleed into each. It's just like. Next thing you know, it's like, it's bath time. You're putting them, and you're like, where did the day go?

[Matt]

Oh, yeah, that's crazy.

[Heath]

But it's all amazing. Like, it's. It's. It's a good thing, but it just. It really is different. It's so weird.

[Zane]

How many. How many more kids you having?

[Heath]

We still want four.

[Zane]

Four. Four total. Four more.

[Heath]

Four total.

[Zane]

I can ask?

[Matt]

Yeah, I guess you can. He's my.

[Heath]

He's my bestie. He.

[Zane]

He could probably. I guess.

[Heath]

So. How long are we waiting?

[Zane]

That's. That's good. Okay. Yeah. No, I think that's rude when you're like. Well, when I think it's appropriate to ask, like, oh, how many do you want? When you already have a child?

[Matt]

I think. No, I didn't think it was, like, inappropriate to ask just because we're recording if people are watching it. I'm like, but that's so. Like, I don't want. If he says, yeah, I'm going to have four, the whole world's going to expect they're going to have four.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Oh.

[Zane]

I mean, there's a. I don't know.

[Heath]

There's a difference between wanting for.

[Matt]

You have.

[Zane]

You have wanting for. And having.

[Heath]

I think.

[Jared]

True.

[Heath]

I think that the rude thing, though, is when you ask somebody who's, like, married, like, when are we having kids? Because you don't know if they've been trying and they're having issues with it. And it's a subject, like, you never ask about that.

[Matt]

Yeah, Right.

[Zane]

That's true. Yeah, I agree with that.

[Heath]

But yeah. Yeah, Booker, you guys, don't worry.

[Zane]

Is he crawling yet?

[Heath]

No. He's getting so close, though.

[Zane]

Yeah. Like, he wants to. He just can't do it. Yeah, he's just falling on his head.

[Heath]

Yeah, we just got him one of those little like, walker walk around, scooter type things.

[Zane]

Oh, yeah.

[Heath]

And he is zooming across the house. He's doing laps around the kitchen island. He's just.

[Matt]

Oh, oh.

[Zane]

So he's able to like walk in that thing.

[Heath]

Oh, dudes.

[Zane]

Essentially. He wasn't, he wasn't able to do that when I was.

[Heath]

He wasn't.

[Zane]

He was barely able to move. So he's able to like, he was able to like, back up a few, like, like, like a few inches. That's it.

[Heath]

Yeah. But it's crazy because, like, you could see before he started doing it, his frustration, like, he would look at something and be like, I want to be over there now.

[Matt]

And he couldn't.

[Heath]

He didn't know how. But now he's like, got it figured out where he's like, I want to go there, I'm coming. And then, like, and then, like, I'll see him, like, he'll be like, you know, across the living room or whatever. I'll be like, tony, come here. And he'll look at. He's becoming super aware. It's really cool.

[Zane]

Oh, that's amazing. I miss him. I'm gonna see him very soon.

[Heath]

Come out and visit.

[Zane]

Matt, we gotta get you out here.

[Matt]

I know.

[Zane]

Next time I go, you should just go.

[Matt]

I know. Please know. Yeah, let me know.

[Zane]

Well, go visit, visit the baby, visit Mariah, and then we go out at night.

[Heath]

You know, the only way I can get Matt to come back is if I say Mariah and I are getting remarried, we're renewing our wedding, we'll be there.

[Matt]

Well, 100% be there. Well, I mean, my sister in law's siblings live out in Nashville as well. They just move from New York to Nashville too, so. And we've been wanting to do like a big family trip out there with them.

[Zane]

So it's funny every, like, every time I'm out in like a bachelor trip or like a wedding, we all, like, there's a moment where we're all just talking. We're like, damn, I wish we could like all be together, like all the time. Why does it have to be only at weddings? And then it hit me that adults actually do that. They usually just set us like a certain week every year. Yeah, yeah, A certain week where it's like, okay, we're going to Panama, we're going to whatever. And we do it this every year on this week. And the same people go every year.

[Heath]

That's how I treat the, the backpacking trips. So it's it's with friends that I don't really get to see very often because they're still in Florida and stuff like that. And that's just like the one time we know, like we get to regroup as a friend, you know, and do

[Zane]

the thing, risk your life.

[Heath]

It gives us a top of the

[Zane]

mountain, which is crazy.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

You're.

[Zane]

So you're still going to do that this year?

[Heath]

We're taking off because Austin's also having a baby do. Do around the same exact time of like when the trip was going to be. So I was like, dude, you're going to be all hands on deck. Let's just.

[Zane]

And you know, like, just. I feel like selfishly your life, man, I just don't think you should. Doing those type of trips.

[Heath]

Put it, put it. Putting myself at risk with a baby.

[Zane]

Yeah, like you're putting yourself at risk. And I don't know. Especially after that one story you told us about that guy that was like, that really freaked me out. That like, in my head was like, I think that's a wake up call that and like not saying don't go hiking, but just like, just like don't go out in the middle of nowhere like that. Like, why are we leaving crew? Why are we leaving boats to explore caves and cat and getting hanta. Like, why are we doing these things that we shouldn't be doing?

[Heath]

Let's leave the bats alone.

[Zane]

Yeah, we were. We were in. We were in Croatia and people were like, our group left the boat to go inside this cave and I'm sitting

[Matt]

there, I'm like, no, caves are.

[Zane]

This is. This is exactly how this starts. This is how horror movies start. And it's not people we should be afraid of anymore. It's bugs.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zane]

Diseases.

[Matt]

Bats, Zombies. Vermin.

[Jared]

Rodents.

[Zane]

Rodents? Oh yeah, rodents.

[Matt]

Oh, that's gross.

[Heath]

Did I show you guys? Do like the Hercules beetle that I found here?

[Matt]

A Hercules beetle?

[Zane]

It. Does it have muscle?

[Matt]

Does it have like a big rhino kind of looking thing?

[Heath]

Zane.

[Matt]

Oh my God.

[Zane]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Matt]

That looks like a crawfish.

[Zane]

Wait, no way.

[Heath]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna send you a picture of the exact one, dude.

[Matt]

Oh, it's like a lobster.

[Heath]

I was walking out on my deck. Hold on. This thing is crazy.

[Zane]

That looks like something where like a lab, like a lab went crazy and they morph to and like.

[Matt]

Yes. It looks like some animorphs. A beetleboard.

[Zane]

It looks a mythical. It doesn't look real.

[Matt]

It looks like something on like Power Rangers that would like 10 stories tall and just wreck havoc on the community.

[Heath]

Jared, look at the. The pictures I just sent you.

[Jared]

This can fly.

[Matt]

Oh. Oh, wait, where is this?

[Zane]

Where's this beat?

[Heath]

So that's the female. It doesn't have the beak, but it's.

[Matt]

Oh, okay. Okay. Queen. Okay, queen. I see you.

[Unidentified Guest]

Wait.

[Zane]

Okay, that is.

[Matt]

You touched it?

[Shannon Maldonado]

It.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Was it alive?

[Heath]

No, Heath.

[Zane]

That's big.

[Matt]

Okay, it was dead. That makes sense. I'd be like.

[Heath]

It, like, died in place in the middle of the deck.

[Matt]

Oh, wow.

[Zane]

I mean, it would have definitely died on me because I would have killed it.

[Matt]

Maybe it molted.

[Zane]

Yeah. Okay, Heath, we get. You have a Rolex.

[Matt]

You didn't have to include that in the picture. Oh, wait. What was the one thing I was gonna talk about? We should run that intro. Bugs.

[Jared]

Oh, look at it compared to Tony's hand.

[Heath]

Damn.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

He.

[Matt]

Careful now.

[Heath]

He grabbed it.

[Zane]

You got to be careful with him. He's grabbing top of soda cans, grabbing bugs.

[Heath]

He just. You know, he just. He's a guy's guy.

[Zane]

Oh, guys. Yo. Tony has heats fingers. Chubby fingers. Chubby little sausages.

[Heath]

Okay, do you see the dimples in the top of his hands?

[Matt]

Yes.

[Heath]

Yeah, it looks like I had that until fifth grade. And then my knuckles finally came in and I was like, I'm a man. I was walking around like this. Just. Yeah, dude, I had dimpled so long it pissed me off.

[Jared]

Damn.

[Zane]

That's funny because you're a thin, too.

[Heath]

I. And then I don't know what it was. They just came in one day.

[Zane]

Oh, that's beautiful.

[Heath]

Anyway, all right, let's do the intro because we got a lot to cover.

[Matt]

All right.

[Heath]

Three, two, one.

[Zane]

It's cocktail, baby baby. Just wanted to make sure I knew how to spell still.

[Heath]

You're really.

[Zane]

Thank you. Welcome back to Zane Heath Unfiltered Babies. I'm Zane.

[Heath]

I'm Heath.

[Matt]

I'm Matt.

[Jared]

I'm Jared.

[Zane]

And thank you for tuning in again to another episode. And we're really glad you're here. And thank you for being here.

[Matt]

Yeah, it's gonna be right.

[Heath]

It's gonna be a good one.

[Zane]

I already talked. Yeah, I already talked about my trip.

[Matt]

Yeah, you did?

[Heath]

I did. I did. There's something that I saw and I. I've been dying to talk about it because this actually. I don't know why it got. It got me really annoyed and share it.

[Matt]

Spill it.

[Heath]

So there was this girl on TikTok. I think her name was Rissa. She was just talking about the difference between Princess Fiona in Shrek 1 and what she looks like in Shrek 5. OK. And dude, it's crazy because everything she was saying, I'm like, damn, that's so true. Pull up a picture of her in Shrek 5. Dude, they gave her buccal fat remover in her cheeks. They snatched her face. She looks like she got a full face transplant. And I'm like, dude, the whole point of Fiona was to be her true self. No, no, no.

[Zane]

As, as a human or as an ogre?

[Heath]

As an ogre. But they just like, they beautified her and made her this like, I, I, it's great.

[Matt]

How's Shrek doing with money?

[Heath]

But then, but then she become king of the school. Shrek's got wrinkles and they made her,

[Matt]

they kind of beautify her a bit. They took, yeah, she doesn't look like the ogre she once was. She does look a little like softer in the face.

[Zane]

But Heath, like, you got to understand, they're. Now they're, dude, they're rich now. They're kings and queens. They got money.

[Matt]

They're in their 40s or 50s now because their daughter's what, a teenager. So, you know, mama's gotta get a little nip and tuck.

[Zane]

They're just trying to be realistic, Keith,

[Heath]

you know, like, But I mean it just kind of, it just kind of went against, you know, Fiona's message.

[Zane]

Shrek got Botox on his eyes, I could tell. His eyebrows, his forehead.

[Matt]

I don't like a new animation though. They look like dudes or like, it's.

[Zane]

Why, like, I don't understand why they got to make teenage teenagers, all teenagers look like that in animated shows.

[Matt]

But did she still get the money from her parents? Like, you know what I mean? Because she was fucking royalty. Like, so are they. They still went back to the swamp, but she lived in that nice ass castle. Probably had AC meals every day.

[Zane]

I don't think I ever, I don't think I watched track four and track five. I've only seen the first.

[Matt]

You don't need to.

[Zane]

I mean, I'm guessing, you know, because

[Matt]

she leaves her family, she decides she wants real love and she turns into ogre. Bold move, by the way. If I look that good and I had to turn into an ogre, that's

[Zane]

real love right there. Like if my, my wife leaving her royal family to come live with me in the fucking swamp lake smelly, like I would.

[Matt]

But I guess her body adjusted for it, right?

[Heath]

Because her stomach, her stomach got used to the, you know, the Grub.

[Matt]

Yeah, she can handle the heat.

[Zane]

But also turning into an ogre. I don't think those senses now, like, mix in with the swamp. Like, I don't. I think it changes, you know.

[Heath]

You know, I think a lot had to do with the fact that she would still turn into an ogr every night, so she could never live that true life of being.

[Matt]

Wait, what?

[Heath]

That? Yeah, every night when the sun would go down, she would turn into an ogre.

[Matt]

Say what now? Completely erased from my head. I thought she turns into it because she just falls in love with him. She turns into an ogre at night.

[Heath]

Yes. So she would always. So she would be the princess during the day, and then at night when the sun would go down, she would turn into an ogre. And then Donkey caught her as an ogre and was like, ooh, you gotta tell Shrek. And then Shrek thought that, you know, he overheard it and then he thought that she was like, cheating and was liking the. The little guy for a while and then he got emotional.

[Zane]

This isn't. Wait, this is not Shrek 1.

[Matt]

Yes, it is.

[Zane]

Wait, what?

[Matt]

Because Z, I think we've been watching Shrek 2 a little too many times. We need to go back to the exposition.

[Zane]

No, she was always a human. And then.

[Jared]

Wait, she would turn into an ogre at night? I know exactly the.

[Matt]

Oh, my God. I know. They're kind of rocking my world right now.

[Heath]

And that was. As a viewer, you were like.

[Zane]

Like what?

[Matt]

It was like. So that works out pretty conveniently then that he just happened to be an ogre and he's rescuing a princess who has an ogre curse. What if she turned into a frog? Like, it worked out good.

[Zane]

That would have made more sense. Oh, no, the frog was the prince.

[Heath]

They already made a movie about it.

[Unidentified Guest]

That is.

[Zane]

Yep, they did. That's. I'm literally mind. Mind blown. Mind blown. I completely forgot she was actually had the curse of. She was an ogre.

[Matt]

Do you remember any window though, in Shrek 1? Oh, Heath, are you still with us?

[Zane]

Can you hear us, Heath? Welcome back to Zayn and Matt on Filter, baby. On this Saturday night matter if the black go by. We got it. We got to separate the artist from the crime.

[Matt]

I know, right?

[Zane]

You know, like, there is no crime. It's just. It's just too good. It's too good.

[Matt]

Except Nicki Minaj. Kanye.

[Zane]

Oh my God.

[Matt]

I mean, man.

[Zane]

I mean, the two crimes are like really bad, really crazy different. But yes.

[Matt]

I still remember in Shrek though, that little innuend Window. We're like, farquaad's in bed. And he's like, mira, run it back. Like. And he's running over the clip of Fiona. Yes. And he checks his. And he. And he looks down his sheet. I looks down under his sheets. Yes.

[Heath]

And he's got a big.

[Matt]

Remember as a kid, that made me uncomfortable. And I'm like, am I seeing things?

[Zane]

Wait, oh, you watched that as a kid and it made you feel uncomfortable? That's pretty crazy.

[Matt]

Yeah. He gets a little erection under the bed.

[Shannon Maldonado]

Dude.

[Zane]

Wait, really?

[Matt]

And then.

[Zane]

Jesus.

[Matt]

Yes. I remember as a kid, I was like, what was that?

[Heath]

It was a little weird.

[Zane]

It's so crazy. It's so crazy. Back then they, like, they know they're making, like, a movie for kids.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Matt]

But they got to tie in some fun stuff for the adults. But that is a little.

[Zane]

A little too fun.

[Matt]

Yeah, that's a little too fun.

[Zane]

And did they remove it?

[Matt]

Like, it's always been in there since day one.

[Zane]

No, I'm saying, did they remove it then now, like, when you watch it on now, like, Disney.

[Matt]

Because I think, though, he's having a martini. You want to think, like, oh, maybe he was just like, oh, I don't want to spill this martini on me. But that martini doesn't spill over a bit.

[Zane]

You know what? Never had a martini in bed.

[Matt]

Sounds nice. Might be onto something.

[Heath]

Wow. Martinis in bed is wild. With the zebra blanket.

[Zane]

Zebra blanket. I mean, dude, that's gonna be me when I'm 60 and single.

[Heath]

This dude is 80s Miami right there.

[Matt]

Of course he's. And he. What's the name of his village? Dulocks.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Dulux Trulocks.

[Zane]

Damn.

[Matt]

I'm surprised you remember we're do logs. Kids. Wipe your shoes. Wipe your face.

[Zane]

That's one of my favorite scenes in that. In that whole movie.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

Wipe your shoes. Wipe your face.

[Matt]

Dula is a perfect place.

[Heath]

Before we continue, this episode is sponsored by Better Help. I think as a society, we've gotten a lot better about talking about mental health, but actually reaching out for help, it can feel kind of scary. You know, you're vulnerable, and it can feel way harder than it needs to. But BetterHelp makes it so easy. And BetterHelp's 2026 State of Stigma report surveyed 2,000Americans and revealed that 85% of Americans believe getting support is wise, yet 74% say society discourages people from doing so. And that's really sad. I mean, that says it all. We know getting help is a good thing, but so many People still feel judged for it. And honestly, even suggesting it can feel weird too, because, you know, we don't want to seem like we're coming off as, like, judgmental. And if you see a friend struggling, don't be silent. But also, it's tough because you don't want to be like, dude, you need therapy. Just a hey, I've noticed you don't really seem like your usual self today. Have you thought about seeing somebody? And that right there can make all the difference. And if you didn't know Better Help connects you with fully licensed therapists who follow a strict professional code of conduct. And they make the whole matching process a lot easier, too. You fill out a short questionnaire and with over 12 years of experience, they help pair you with a therapist that fits your needs. And if it's not the right match, you can switch up anytime. BetterHelp also has a network of more than 30,000 therapists and has served over 6 million people worldwide. They also have a 4.9 out of 5 average live session rating based on more than 1.7 million reviews. So don't let stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com ZaynAndHeath that's better. H-E-L-P.com ZaynAndHeath thank you Better Help for sponsoring this podcast. We love you all.

[Zane]

That animation was reminding me of this video that I saw on TikTok. This girl pulls up an image of every AI company logo and she's like, why does every AI company, the new AI company logos look like a butthole.

[Matt]

Damn. Different versions, different versions, different fonts. Same logo, different fonts.

[Zane]

And she's like this one in the middle right here, that's. That's like the newest Claude.

[Matt]

Yeah, Claude. It's.

[Zane]

That's a booty hole.

[Matt]

That's an anus.

[Zane]

That's a booty.

[Heath]

That's a balloon knot.

[Zane]

You know what I mean? What are they thinking? Like, why a circle?

[Matt]

I guess because they want to view. AI is like a brain, a neuron, it's a web. It can.

[Zane]

Or maybe they're trying to say it's full of.

[Matt]

I guess so. I bet it all blame it on Siri, because I feel like Siri was like, that was the first. That logo is like, you know, this Halo esque thing. And then Meta basically made the same version of it. And then everyone kept following that.

[Zane]

Do you think that Siri was like, like the start of AI?

[Matt]

Sure, I guess.

[Zane]

It's a good way. Like in my head it's like the levels of just artificial intelligence series first and then Alexa.

[Matt]

But they should just should have kept it echo. I don't know why they had to call that girl Alexa.

[Zane]

Sorry. For people listening. We just said. We just said the top three things. Everyone's ringers are going on.

[Matt]

If you have a friend named Alexa and you invite them over, you're like, hey, Alexa, can you get a drink? Sorry.

[Heath]

Oh, like it's just like do that just yet.

[Zane]

Yeah, yeah, it's like it should be in like the top like 10 names to not name your kid or is like that.

[Matt]

Yeah, you can't. But it's the biggest drop in the name Alexa since naming it.

[Zane]

Pretty crazy.

[Jared]

So actually it's funny that you bring this up. Do you guys know Hank Green?

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Jared]

He just recently put out a video where he did like a tier list of ranking how, like blind ranking how each of these AI company logos look like buttholes.

[Zane]

Uh huh.

[Jared]

And in the beginning of it, he. There's an artist named Kurt Vonnegut. The writer or the writer.

[Matt]

Yeah, yeah. Slaughterhouse five.

[Jared]

And so he has a thing where he said to give an idea of maturity of my illustrations for this book. Here's a picture of my asshole. An asshole.

[Zane]

Wait, what?

[Matt]

And it's like, so Kurt Vonnegut wrote this in a book?

[Jared]

He wrote this in a book. And it is like identical to the Claude logo. Like it's got the same number of stones and everything.

[Matt]

That is why that is.

[Zane]

You know when you watch like old Nickelodeon shows, like they're like the different innuendos they put in the show is like super, like kids won't don't catch it. But like they're like, this is gross. Like, oh, this is funny for us. Do you think this is like one of those moments where they're just like, oh, this is really funny. People aren't gonna catch this.

[Matt]

Who knows?

[Zane]

We're just gonna make this a butthole. Maybe, maybe that's something I would do as a joke.

[Heath]

Yeah, just like that's an inside joke that only you guys know about. And everybody's just looking at this like.

[Zane]

And it's also a good, like, also a good thing to like talk about too. When like you're talking to other CEOs, you're just like, what made you come up with a logo? A that's a butthole. Like, it's just, it's. It's something memorable. Like other people, like other important people, like in their like World. I feel like they would see that and be like, oh, wow, I remember that guy.

[Matt]

Is it true people always say that about Lululemon, that the founder named it Lululemon because he thought it was funny having people from Asia try to pronounce it.

[Zane]

I've seen that in many different videos and I mean, it's got it.

[Matt]

Or I think it was like a miss or. I don't know if it is true, but he said it in an interview, like just saying, oh, I find it very funny. People can pronounce it, but that's not the reason why he named it. I think I looked into it one day.

[Zane]

He said it could be.

[Matt]

Let our audience look into it.

[Jared]

But I think, I think it's true because like, there's so much on the founder of Lululemon, he, like, he's a fucking dirt bag.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Heath]

It's crazy that that brand is still so big.

[Matt]

I know. It's wild.

[Zane]

Do you like their clothes? I have.

[Matt]

I like their running shorts.

[Zane]

I have a pair of their shorts. It doesn't fit me anymore, but they're very good quality.

[Heath]

Isn't that ironic that you're running shorts?

[Zane]

Wait, what do you mean?

[Matt]

Oh, like, like the thing that makes

[Heath]

you lose weight to fit in them is running. And that's what's tight. It's just kind of like a. I know.

[Matt]

Might have been getting kind of tight too.

[Zane]

My Lululemon shorts, but also mine were the ones with like liners under it. My least favorite.

[Matt]

I like the ones with liners. Cuz if I'm doing some silly movements on the floor, I don't want anyone taking a peek into my little tent.

[Zane]

I need, I need to breathe. Are you the same way he? Like, I need to breathe down.

[Heath]

So I cannot, I can't wear them without underwear. So then it's just like, like three layers. I'm like, all right, this is a lot.

[Zane]

Yeah, it's just too much suffocation down there for me. Like, I really need. And I think because we're from Florida and it was like always so muggy and humid and hot, we just need something super loose.

[Matt]

And I, I also love swimsuits that have like short lining.

[Heath]

You're crazy.

[Zane]

Do you like the lining?

[Matt]

Well, not a netting. Netting. Lining, but one like this though, like netting. Because after you've been in the water and you sitting down with that netting, it's just rubbish.

[Heath]

It turns into like sandpaper.

[Matt]

You can feel it making imprints on your ass.

[Zane]

And I can't believe they still make it like Like I don't know. It's actually not comfortable. I cut every single mine. I just cut it.

[Heath]

Yep.

[Matt]

So then what are you wearing underneath that then, Zane?

[Heath]

Boxers.

[Zane]

Nothing.

[Matt]

What you're wearing, you're wearing swimsuits with netting cut out. No underwear. Yeah, those got to be wrapped around those thighs because you'll be saying you'll be sitting on that pontoon boat. Someone's gonn getting a full.

[Zane]

I mean my shorts, my shorts aren't short enough for that though. And my thighs, my thighs are, my thighs are too big.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Are you wearing a bathing suit right now?

[Unidentified Guest]

No.

[Zane]

No. So it doesn't. You see this? It's attached to the shorts.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Zane]

But I still have underwear on today. These, this is my work.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

I'm going,

[Zane]

I'm working out right after this which is why I'm, I look like. But some I'm about to work out

[Matt]

but some swimsuits too. Like they're so thin. Like, like you, you get out of the water and you're just like talking to people and it's like you can see the head of your penis. Like it's just right.

[Zane]

I immediately pull like as soon as I get out, I actually hold the top of my shorts and just like immediately start.

[Heath]

Cuz it, it does like that the vacuum seal. Like it, yes. You get out and it vacuum seals around everything. You're like what is going on?

[Zane]

Especially in cold water. It's like I don't, I don't need people to assume that my thing is, my thing is small. You know? Like I, I, I need to like, like shake it out a little bit. Sorry ladies. What else do you think we need

[Matt]

to be talking about penises so much. But have you ever been like in a pool? No. You've been like in a pool all day and then you're changing, but there's been shrinkage. But your penis just looks that one shape where you're like what in the world? You know what I'm talking about? Where it goes like this and then it goes like up. You know that shape, this. Wait, wait, wait. What the only happens if you've been like in water for a long time changing. It doesn't happen when you've been in the shower. But like it's this torpedoes if you girls skinny in the base and then it gets fat at the.

[Zane]

It's the ugliest thing ever.

[Heath]

It.

[Matt]

You don't even want to be seen. Like I can change in front of my wife but if I had like shrinkage like that I'm like, do not look at me.

[Zane]

No, it's not just shrinkage, though. It, like the way it forms if. If the girls got. That's how got to see us. We would all be single. Yeah, we would all be single. There's no way, you know what I'm talking about.

[Matt]

Heat. I think it's your base gets thinner than your second.

[Zane]

It's pretty much this look. It goes like this.

[Heath]

Oh, my God.

[Matt]

Sorry if it's tmi, but you know, ladies, this is.

[Heath]

This is real.

[Zane]

This is Deal with.

[Matt]

It's.

[Zane]

Yeah, like, it's funny, though. I will like, look down and be like, if the world saw this right now. If the world saw.

[Matt]

You couldn't unsee it. If someone saw it.

[Zane]

Yeah, it is like, it's. It's just like, oh, God, I'm glad

[Matt]

I'm not alone sometimes. Like, when I see that, I'm like, is this normal?

[Heath]

You're just getting confirmation that it's. It happens to everybody.

[Zane]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's very normal, Matt.

[Matt]

And the worst is when you are. You're getting in a pool and you got that swimsuit on, but the air goes in and you get this little. And everyone gets it. Be like, all right. And then you push it down and then the fart bubble almost comes up. God, figure that out. Just put a little vent tent on it or something to prevent it.

[Zane]

You know those clay pools that. That people do, it's like gray and it's very thick. They're. You're supposed to like, kind of like sit in it and it's supposed to like.

[Jared]

Oh, like a mud bath.

[Zane]

Yeah, a mud bath. But I think because it's so thick, you can't fart in that because there's no bubbles ever that come out. So when someone does. Does do a little fart, it comes out like a big bubble, like a swamp. Like a bog bubble.

[Matt]

Yeah, that's just mud bass. How do they clean that? That's kind of nasty. Yeah, we're getting in mud and I've been in. I'm getting in it. Which someone else is already like.

[Zane]

Yeah, it just. It's too thick. I just feel like more. It captures more from people's bodies. Yeah, it kind of simmers in there.

[Heath]

That's. It's so stupid because, like, if you saw just a big ass puddle of mud like that, you'd be like. Like, oh, my God, I'd kill myself if I fell.

[Zane]

If I. If I fell in.

[Heath]

Yeah, I don't know. It's got to be a fad. There's. There's no way.

[Matt]

I mean, I know that like clay, you know, like Aztec mud clay. That's like a very popular old skincare thing. But like, that in a way can be good for like, I guess exfoliating the texture of your skin.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Just kind of toughens it up.

[Zane]

Where's that. Is that popular in. You know how they have all those like, bath house. Is that a bath house in Japan? I'm just thinking of like outside water, smoke everywhere, and it's like. Like a hot spot.

[Matt]

Like a lagoon. Like one of those hot.

[Zane]

Like a hot spring. Yeah, like a hot spring spa.

[Heath]

I would love every time to a hot spring.

[Zane]

Every time I see one of those, I'm like, I feel like this is grosser in person. Like in pictures. It looks wonderful. Looks beautiful.

[Matt]

Natural ones.

[Zane]

Not the natural ones. The ones that are in spas.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

You know, like big spa. They'll have like a big outside one.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

I don't know.

[Zane]

I've seen pictures and every time the pictures are great. And then I'm like, I don't know if I'd want to be in that water.

[Matt]

I don't get salt rooms or like salt. You know those like salt lamps. Yeah, salt lamps. When you go into a whole room and it's just salt all on the walls and it's like.

[Zane]

Is it like a crystal? Like almost like a crystal.

[Matt]

Not a salt lamp room. Look up a salt spa room.

[Zane]

Any way to take your money.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Matt]

It almost looks like you're in this salt cave kind of thing. Yes, like that. But people say who have cancer and stuff, like go there. They just think it's like good to be in the. The.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Frequency of salt.

[Zane]

He did. Do you remember when we went into that like sleep therapy place? We drove really far for it. Remember that?

[Heath]

Yes, yes.

[Zane]

Do you think that worked? I don't know, man, because I genuinely fell asleep really hard and I don't fall asleep in. In like in the middle of the

[Matt]

day like that expand what you're saying. You said we went to sleep there.

[Zane]

It was. We went to a sleep place where it was. There was machines everywhere. But these machine. Machines are rating like radiating like it

[Heath]

was like basically imagine a circle and there's a bunch of these like kind of like zero gravity chairs all around it like this. And there was like TV screens basically that were just like radiating out this like frequency.

[Matt]

Like a sound or a light.

[Heath]

It was kind of very hum.

[Zane]

Yeah, Very, very light. Light sound. But it was more for like the rate, like the. The Frequency of what was and what it was.

[Heath]

We took a nap, but also, I don't know, we drank some nice hot tea before. I feel like, I feel like it was just like a comfortable room. I really don't know.

[Zane]

All right.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Damn.

[Zane]

So like in my head it like worked. I was like, oh shit. It worked because I fell asleep and I can't fall asleep in the middle of the day like that. But maybe if you sit in a room like that for an hour and a half, anybody would fall asleep.

[Heath]

Yeah, I don't know. And what's weird is like who really be going there to take a nap in the middle of the day?

[Zane]

Do you think it's still open? I. I don't think so.

[Heath]

Not for those prices.

[Zane]

Well, we got it for free, but how much was it to like sleep in a room like that?

[Heath]

I think it $200 an hour or something. It was, it was crazy.

[Matt]

In college we had a place like in our like mental health like office where you could go like sleep in nap pods. Like you go to nap like in these like pods. It was pretty awesome.

[Zane]

I feel like a lot of offices now, they, they. I think they instill like the, the, the napping in the middle of the day because when you wake up it like kind of re. Energizes you for work. I don't know. I get it. But also like then do you need to make work out work days longer then to make up for the national

[Matt]

Spain, everyone goes home for a siesta.

[Zane]

Yeah. I saw somebody on TikTok saying that it used to be a thing or I think our bodies were meant to.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zane]

Like sleep two times in a day for only. What is it, like five hours or something? But it wasn't up for most of the, for most of the 24 hours.

[Heath]

Yeah. But then we decided no, we need to be working the whole time.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Heath]

I like the fact that there's places in Europe that are four day work week, week like that. To me, I love that. I think that is the best idea for everybody because like a two day weekend, you don't really get to do much.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Because I know what sucks is everything that you need to do, you can't do it during the week because you're working. And then a lot of places are closed on the weekends. So like you're, you either have to take off of work to go like get something. I'm just like. I don't know.

[Zane]

Also I just feel like people would genuinely not only love their job more, but they'll work Harder too. Like, I. I remember on weekends again, like. Like you go home from work Friday, you wake up, it's Saturday, it's like, fuck, I only have one day to like, go relax or have fun, drink. But then when I drink the next day, pretty shitty for me. And then I have to go back to work. Or it's like, if you want to go on a trip, you're taking one trip one fucking day to fly somewhere. You're there for a day and you fly back. You got to give people more time to like, enjoy their time off work so they can come back and get back to work and feel like satisfied from their weekend.

[Heath]

Let's make it happen here.

[Zane]

And I do like that more offices are. Are doing work days now from home. And I feel like they. Since COVID Yeah, a lot of offices do that were like my roommate Danielle, she'll go to work three days a week, and she gets to stay home Mondays and Fridays, but still works from home. I think that's amazing because it gives her still a chance to travel, work while traveling. Because she's working from her computer.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

And. And still like come home and get work done. And she's like, like, because her work week is so. The weight schedule is such on her side. Where now she. She works at night now she likes to be on her computer and work at night.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Right.

[Matt]

Like logging in the hours that you need to for your job.

[Zane]

Yeah, it's. I don't know. I think, yeah, we definitely need to make changes in that and I agree. And people. Don't you want to see people happier too? Yeah, I feel like people would be happier. I wanted more smiles on the street.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Health.

[Matt]

I know it's such on like the rise and stuff.

[Zane]

Exactly.

[Matt]

Give some people some peace of mind.

[Zane]

I'll that like now, what would you say about like, you know, restaurants or like, places that like, you feel you need to be open every day? Is it. Do you like, how do you balance

[Matt]

out the shifts for that too? Yeah, like, there's doctors and like, surgeons and stuff. There's.

[Zane]

There's sometimes I feel like shifts at restaurants I feel like are too long too, because when I worked at restaurants, I felt like the shifts were so fudgeing long.

[Matt]

And that's also with tips too, because then sometimes you're working but like, no one's coming in. No, you're not making tips. And it just feels like a stop. Like a waste of time in a way.

[Zane]

And it's crazy that you just get punished for that.

[Matt]

That I was in San Jose. And I overheard this waitress. She wasn't my waitress, but she was talking to another girl. And it was at this, like, bar, and, like, hardly anybody was in it, but I could hear her. She goes, I only made $9 yesterday. And I worked. And she said some un, insane amount of hours. And she goes, yep. Like, it was only one group came in. They hardly tipped. I made nothing. And I felt so bad hearing her. Then I. But, like, I almost wanted to go up and, like, just give her 20 bucks. And like. Or just I had some cash on me and I was like. But then I didn't want her to feel embarrassed that I overheard her.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And if she was my waitress, I would have, like, tipped her even more. But she wasn't. She was working some tables. Oh.

[Zane]

Oh, she wasn't your waitress.

[Matt]

Exactly. She wasn't my waitress. If I heard that, though, I would have. Oh, I would have gave it her. Gave her a lot. But I didn't want to. Like, that could be weird. Be like, hey, to this waitress, go give that girl a bunch of money. It was just tough. My heart just ached. And I'm like, what do I do?

[Zane]

Or maybe just be like, hey, you both are working so hard. Hey, can you hear? And then can you give this to your friend, too?

[Shannon Maldonado]

I don't know.

[Zane]

Or maybe like, oh, she waited us last time. Can you give her this? That's like a good way to kind

[Matt]

of like, I've never waited on that man in my life.

[Zane]

Did he put points?

[Matt]

It just completely backfires on me. I was just trying to be a decent patron here.

[Zane]

Yeah, no, I get it. That, like, yeah, that stinks. And it's the thing is that, you know, restaurants don't make a lot of money either. You know how they're like, they say, like, restaurants need to pay more money. I don't think restaurants make a lot of money either, because those are the hardest businesses to ever go positive. Right.

[Matt]

It's very good industry.

[Zane]

It just. It just. Just stinks overall. That's why sometimes I feel like it is really up to us. It's just. I know it sucks that we have to tip a lot to, like, make up for it. It's like, it's good for the economy. Like, what else are you going to do if these restaurants aren't making that much unless they're like, a huge franchise or something? But, like, how do you fix that?

[Heath]

And that's what happens when, you know, the. The big companies just take over and it makes it difficult for the mom and pop shops. You know, the little family restaurants and things like that.

[Zane]

All right, brief pause for this episode. Sponsor Cash App so I think by now most people have heard of Cash App. I love using mine on the daily it makes splitting bills and paying back my friends super easy. But there's more to it than many realize. So if you weren't up to speed already, Cash App is way more than just a safe way to send and receive money. With the Cash App card unlock a ton of perks without all the hidden fees. Enjoy benefits like exclusive early access to nationwide concert pre sales like Kendrick Lamar and Sabrina Carmen, to name a couple recent examples. Plus discounts on everyday purchases and popular brands you're probably already spending money on. Add your card to your digital wallet to make your money moves easier. Cash App also adds security to your money by declining suspicious card transactions and sending you a notification to make sure the payment is really you. If your card is ever lost or stolen, you can lock it with just one tap right in the App App Spend with confidence with the Cash App card Today, new Cash App Customers can earn $10 if they use code CASH APP10 in their profile at Sign up and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners. Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton bank member FDIC Cash App Visa Debit Flex cards issued by Sutton Bank Member FDIC and the Bancorp N.A. pursuant to a license or from Visa USA Inc. See Terms and conditions for the Sutton Prepaid Card, Sutton Debit Flex Card and Bancorp Debit Flex Card. Cash App Green features savings, direct deposit roundups, overdraft coverage and discounts provided by Cash App a Block Inc. Brand Visit Cash App Slash Legal podcast for full disclosures. Thank you Cash App for sponsoring this podcast. We love you.

[Matt]

I'm. I would love to have a flight attendant on like. Well, because I'm always curious like with flight attendants, what's kind of satisfying is that, you know the journey of the trip. Yeah. You know when the shift's going to be over kind of a thing. And I'm like, oh my go. Is that mundane or is that satisfying and you're going somewhere.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Which is kind of fun.

[Zane]

Just imagine on their end it flying that much. It doesn't like they don't. I feel like they don't even feel the countries that they're landing in.

[Heath]

I talked to the one stewardess lady when I just went and flew to Paris.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Because you know how there's like limitations for how many hours you can work in one set wedding.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

I was like, how does that work? Like, if you have a, a 10 hour flight, you're technically working over the legal amount of time.

[Zane]

I think that's when overtime comes in though, right?

[Heath]

And she was like, we're allowed. We're given sleep windows so that they can sleep on the flight. Which kind of like.

[Zane]

Where are they sleeping?

[Matt]

They have rooms. I don't know, the international ones. They're like.

[Zane]

I know, I know international ones, but what about.

[Matt]

Oh, I guess they do take like breaks, but I don't think they're like. They're probably doing like a light nap. But they have their curtains and stuff.

[Zane]

Like one flight a day. Right. They're usually never.

[Heath]

She also said like, she'll like, if she flies to Paris, they don't immediately jump back and fly back. Like she, she said that they would have like two days in Paris to just like recoup. You can do whatever you want. And then you would take the return flight back.

[Zane]

That's fine.

[Matt]

If you're going from like LA to San Francisco. After that you might go up to Seattle. Like if you're doing like shorter flights. Yeah, hour and a half and stuff.

[Zane]

It would be fun though, if you're flight attendants. You guys were all friends, same age.

[Matt]

This is my vibe. Love you guys. How have you been? Oh, that.

[Zane]

Oh yeah, that's a vibe.

[Matt]

They're down there vaping just like.

[Zane]

Because they know they could like.

[Matt]

They know it's not that bad.

[Zane]

They know exactly. They know how to cover it. They like cover it with like their own sticky thing and just like, hey, pass me the. Oh, God. The stories they have though.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

God.

[Matt]

I know. You gotta also be good about your zycam, your vitamins because like being around that many humans all day and just, you know, cycled air all the time, that's like. That would take a toll on your

[Zane]

immune system even being like high up like that because you're constantly dehydrated up there.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

So they, they have to like be drinking electrolytes and water all day through their shifts.

[Heath]

I feel like we, we shouldn't be allowed to see this. Like you're, we're looking behind the curtain and it's making me a little like

[Zane]

that's kind of, that's. It's kind of sick that go. I wonder if they go one at a time. Like they can't like have two people in there there.

[Matt]

It's like almost, you know, basketball teams. You have to have Certain amount of players out on the court at a time, they have it set up where it's like, we have too many flights.

[Zane]

The flight attendant, like, the flight attendant thinks somebody is like, good, Lynn. They're like, you want to come back to my room?

[Heath]

There was. I don't know if you remember him, but there was this flight attendant guy who was like six foot four, very handsome, charismatic. And he was friends with one of our friends in the friend group, like, quite a few years ago. But I was, like, talking to him about, like, you know, just behind the scenes of the job. Dude. He said he was smashing stewardess after stewardess on the plates.

[Unidentified Guest]

No.

[Heath]

Yes. I'm guessing it was probably in one of these. Like, it's crazy, because I was always wondering, like, how is that possible?

[Zane]

Like, with the same. Maybe like, their friends are the same. There's no way. It's like new stewardesses that he would meet on these flights.

[Heath]

I guess it would be reoccurring ones, different shift ones.

[Matt]

But he was like, that's the turbulence. You're, like, a little bumpy today.

[Heath]

I couldn't believe it.

[Matt]

Oh, that's really.

[Zane]

That.

[Matt]

I think he was. You were gonna say he would like, like passengers, but not like mid flight, but like, he know numbers.

[Zane]

That's next.

[Matt]

Because, I mean, there's like sexual frequency in the. In the air, altitude. Everyone's horny. You're like, are they attractive or are we just at an airport? Like, it's. There's something about them.

[Zane]

Everybody is more attractive in the air.

[Matt]

Yeah, they really are.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Heath]

So stupid.

[Zane]

That's crazy. Heath.

[Matt]

I know there was a tick tock where this guy posed this question. He goes, which one are we picking? You have to go to jail for 10 years or you have to go to jail as long as it takes for your mom to beat Elden Ring.

[Zane]

To what?

[Matt]

Beat Elden Ring. But in this scenario, since you probably don't know Elden Ring, like Grant, let's say Grand Theft Auto 6.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Your mom. Your mom has to. So either you go to jail for 10 years or you go to jail for as long as it takes for your mom to.

[Zane]

Okay, so how long does a normal person like, that is.

[Matt]

Plays.

[Zane]

Likes video games, but a week.

[Matt]

Oh, well, probably a week to beat the game. But we're talking about your mom. That's fine.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

That's fine.

[Zane]

I think anybody. Because my mom, she's not like. I wouldn't consider her as, like, too old.

[Matt]

Old. Yeah.

[Zane]

So I think that. So this would happen. How long would it take My brother is soup. My brother's really good at video games. He's like, I don't know if I'm

[Matt]

gonna allow what you're about to ask, but go on.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

No.

[Heath]

No coaching.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

He can't.

[Zane]

He can't. He can't teach her how to play first.

[Matt]

No, I think in this scenario, that's not. It's. Your mom sits down in front of a TV and in with the gaming console and has to beat the game.

[Zane]

Wait, hold on. No, no, but, like, she has to learn how to use the controls at the same time.

[Matt]

I'll allow her. She's allowed to go to the menu and see what all the buttons do.

[Zane]

This doesn.

[Matt]

Like, there's no one gonna be there rooting for her, going, all right, shoot that guy. Shoot that guy. No, no, no, no, no. This is.

[Zane]

She has been playing it.

[Matt]

She's alone playing it. But obviously, I would like to believe that my mother would do everything to beat this damn video game. And that's the choice you guess you have to take. But I'm curious. What. How long do y' all think it would take for your mom?

[Zane]

I think my mom, if it takes a week for, like, normal. I. I think my, like, like a year and a half.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Zane]

I'm gonna expect her for a year to just practice.

[Heath]

Like, mom still working her job, like, you know what I mean? Like, could she only do it on the weekends?

[Zane]

She's retired. She's retired. You know what?

[Matt]

Yeah, she has to find the time to do it because she has to find the time. But I. But my phone calls, I'd be like, go, try harder.

[Zane]

Give me live stream of her playing.

[Heath]

I wouldn't. I. That would kill.

[Zane]

Is that in the live stream? You be.

[Matt]

I'm not getting out of here anytime soon. Get the tats. Like.

[Zane]

But, dude, I. I think 10 years is like. I really think anybody. Anybody can finish under 10.

[Matt]

I think my mom can maybe do it in a year. In a year, if she's retired.

[Heath]

She has the time, I think. I would like to think my mom would do whatever it takes to help her baby boy.

[Matt]

You know what I mean?

[Heath]

And I feel like she would just be like, you know what? This is on me. I gotta get him home.

[Zane]

Is it a hard game to play?

[Matt]

Elden Ring I think would be even harder than Grand Theft Auto because Elden Ring, you have to have spells, potions, leveling up. It's a battle, communicating with everyone. Elden Ring is like, you're on the fly, like, working.

[Zane]

It's no Halo. It's no like God of War. It's like much more interesting.

[Matt]

Halo and Grand Grand Theft Auto are probably easier than the level of like time you need to put into Elden Ring. So maybe it would be two years. I can't watch my mom.

[Zane]

This question stressing me out, like thinking that it's his real life situation. I have to make this decision.

[Matt]

But the thing is, I think the safer bet though would be for her to play the game than spending 10 years in jail knowing the thought that there's a chance you're going to get out.

[Zane]

I like the challenge. I like the challenge.

[Heath]

It takes, I think Mr.

[Matt]

Beast steal this idea, not make it like 10 years. But yeah, you put someone away for as long does it take for a normal person to beat this game?

[Zane]

That's a really good idea. But then again that's really scary to like have to rely on somebody beating a game in order for like your family member or whatever to get out from whatever they're stuck in.

[Matt]

Maybe there's some money on the line. I'll allow that with M. Or they're

[Zane]

like, they're in a space where like they have like the best food and like they have a really comfy, like I don't know or.

[Matt]

And they can boring place but they can entertain themselves but they can't be out in the real world.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Guest]

Yeah.

[Zane]

That is a, that's a really good video. I'd watch it be so sad.

[Matt]

Just someone just. I've been in here for years and my mom's not even past level one.

[Heath]

Imagine he did it though. But like the, the kid is behind a two way mirror just standing there behind the mom watching. Yeah, like that would be really funny for a video.

[Matt]

Speaking of your mom, how is your mom doing post op?

[Zane]

She's doing great. She's still like, you know, still healing. It'll take like six months.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Zane]

Six to eight, nine months to fully, fully like, you know, because the nose is still like perked up a little bit. It takes a little bit to droop back down just to like look more normal.

[Heath]

When did you come back out?

[Zane]

I'll probably probably fly her back out here in like in like three weeks.

[Heath]

Oh, okay. Because you have, you have to finish the video.

[Zane]

We got to do the reveal. I'm really excited about that. She's very excited about that. And I think they want to do. I'm, I'm doing the reveal before he does one more thing on her. He wants to give her like a, like a lip lift.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Zane]

Because now that her Nose is far apart from her mouth. It doesn't look.

[Unidentified Guest]

Look.

[Zane]

It just doesn't look natural or it doesn't look right because. Just because, you know, she's older, so it just. It makes her look, like, more like.

[Matt]

Huh.

[Heath]

So is the lip lift what you got done?

[Matt]

Yeah. Address that. Because people in the comments were agreeing with me.

[Zane]

Matt, the thing is that you hold a lot of power, and sometimes you need to, like, you need to watch what you say. Because I was reading these comments, I was like, did I get a lip lift?

[Matt]

Did I get normal? Then I would.

[Zane]

My mustache is a little bit lower.

[Matt]

Maybe that's what it was.

[Unidentified Guest]

It is.

[Zane]

But also, I truly think lip, the. The bomb that I had went to the next day. Like, I. Because I. When I showered, maybe I didn't, like, rub my lips very hard. Are you trying to say that, like, I should wear lip balm more?

[Matt]

Great power comes great responsibility.

[Heath]

He was doing the kind.

[Zane]

Or did I look feminine?

[Matt]

You. I don't say you looked feminine.

[Zane]

Did you want to kiss me?

[Matt]

No, you just looked very.

[Zane]

What am I gonna say?

[Matt]

I was giving Chaz Dean.

[Zane]

Don't know who that is. Chaz.

[Matt]

He has the billboards all around LA where he's that hairstylist, you know, Chaz Dean. He's everywhere. Like, he always has a billboard.

[Zane]

Okay, I just see why it was giving Chasdain.

[Heath]

It kind of did look like Zane.

[Zane]

Why does he look like a line? Is that the mascara or the. The thing around his eye? That's the hair. Like a lion.

[Matt]

It's the main.

[Zane]

He looks like one of the three fathers in Leah's show.

[Jared]

Yeah, that's Daddy Moke.

[Zane]

That's Daddy Mo. Are you watching Love island this year? This season?

[Matt]

No.

[Zane]

Yeah, me neither.

[Matt]

No, I love that people love it. I've watched a season of Love island in the past. That's too much work out of my night now.

[Zane]

I don't know why they can't shorten it. For people that, like, want to watch it but don't want to sit there for an hour and a half each episode for what, 25, 30 episodes. It's a lot. Like, I don't think you need to

[Heath]

see all that, but very time demanding.

[Zane]

They should bring it down to, like, 30 minutes an episode for people, you know, that are not, like, that obsessed with it.

[Matt]

And it's six to eight weeks. That's a lot.

[Zane]

That's a lot.

[Matt]

60 episodes in total. I got. I got stuff to do today.

[Zane]

Somebody was telling me, I think. Who was it? One of My friends were telling me. She's like, oh, my God, it's finally better. But we had to wait two weeks. I'm like, God damn. You have to wait 10, 11 episodes for it to, like, now start to get better. That's crazy. I want to see happening episode two.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zane]

Episode one is the. Is the build up. We were introducing all the characters.

[Matt]

I want popping off, rising action, climax, Daniel done.

[Zane]

It's. It's too. It's too much. Much. Remember when we're watching Love island, because Mariah's like, you have to watch this season. And Mariah was just. She had it for playing on the projector. Mariah was on the laptop the entire night fast forwarding, just running commentary, and I was able to understand what was going on.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

Fast forwarding half the episode. I. I got everything that I needed to get in. But, yeah, I. I don't. I never want to watch a Love island episode or season ever again. It's too much. Unless it's somebody I know that's on there. That'd be sick. Then I want to see, like, a close. I want to see Todd on there.

[Matt]

Let's.

[Zane]

Let's see. Like, I want to see someone too old. They have old people on their nose

[Matt]

and who are 30.

[Heath]

We are not calling Todd old people.

[Matt]

Well, I'm saying for Love Island. Love island is like 24 to 27 always.

[Zane]

To me. They always look like my age. Like, they feel older. I don't know why.

[Matt]

Okay, well, one guy in the UK was 39, so. Good. Okay.

[Zane]

I think there, if you have a certain. Like, Todd 100% has. It has a good. A good enough look, to be honest. Be on.

[Matt]

And a good enough bod, too.

[Zane]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Matt]

Nice and tan.

[Heath]

Oh, speaking of, like, thinking things are older, I don't know why, but I still can't get it through my brain that I am significantly older than NFL players.

[Matt]

Yep.

[Heath]

When I look at a football player in my head, I'm like, damn, I could still do that when I get older.

[Matt]

Like, you know, funny Same college players, 2, 24.

[Heath]

And I'm like, I'm, like 10 years older than these people, but I see

[Matt]

them as, like, larger than life gods. It's literally.

[Zane]

It's like when they're, like, when, you know, there's some of them at an event, they're just bigger than you, taller than you. They look older than you. Like, older in a good way, too.

[Matt]

Like, they're making so much money and, like, they're born in 2004, and they're making. And they're worth $30 million. I'm like, excuse me.

[Zane]

And they just know how to tackle and run with a ball.

[Heath]

Like, I almost see them as. Like, I'm still growing, and I'm gonna get to that. I. Yeah. It is so weird. But I'm. I'm capped. I'm capped at my size. I'm capped at everything.

[Zane]

We're past our peak, Heath. We're past our fucking peak.

[Heath]

And it's crazy how young they are. I don't. I don't get it.

[Matt]

I know When I was at the World cup game, just, we were so close, and the players would come up and kick the ball. I was like, wow. Because football, they're wearing masks and helmets and stuff, and you only see their face, like, every now and then. But, like. But like, when I was seeing those soccer players run around, I'm like, those, like teenagers, man.

[Zane]

Like, you know, the soccer players are definitely thinner. They, like. They're like.

[Matt]

Our.

[Zane]

A lot of them are our size soccer players, right?

[Unidentified Guest]

Yeah.

[Jared]

They're very lean.

[Zane]

They're lean. They're either our height, they can be shorter.

[Matt]

You know how many miles a soccer player runs in a damn game? Yeah, we already talk about this.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Okay, fine.

[Zane]

Yeah, you told me.

[Shannon Maldonado]

Matt.

[Zane]

Wait, let me get. Let me guess.

[Matt]

Let me guess. Every day where I'm like, there's no way I could do that.

[Zane]

Yeah. Because I did always wonder. I mean, I knew they do a lot of practice scrimmaging all that, but, like, I was. I always wonder, like, why are they so thin? It's crazy. It's because they run so fucking much.

[Jared]

But I think soccer is different where a lot of people are genuinely really young. Yeah. Like, this kid right now in the World cup is 17.

[Heath]

That's crazy.

[Matt]

That's wild.

[Heath]

There's a new F1 driver that's 19. Kimmy, wait.

[Zane]

I thought you have to be, like. You have to be 18 and to be in the, like. In any sort of, like, World Cup, Olympics.

[Jared]

I don't think so, because I remember there was, like, a really good soccer player not too long ago. Honestly. Might have been this guy. But the. They were. Everyone was freaking out because he was this, like, national treasure for his team. But he was, like, 16. But he had been playing and practicing every day all his life, and he was, like, one of the best in the country. And they're like, can't wait to see how he progresses now that he's in the pros.

[Matt]

Did he have magical shoes that got struck by lightning and gave him powers. Remember like Mike with little bow wow.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And that boy, he. He go, he goes to a halftime show and just start sinking in buckets. And they were like, we have to have this kid, this kid in an orphanage.

[Zane]

But he had, but he had magic shoes on.

[Matt]

They had magic shoes on. But can you imagine if that was happened in real life where like there is a 13 year old, like a 10 year old kid in the NBA? Yeah.

[Zane]

I mean they would find out pretty quickly if he's wearing some random shoes.

[Heath]

Are you obsessed with Erling Holland?

[Matt]

Oh, yes.

[Zane]

Dude, what a beast.

[Matt]

My whole feed is just montages of him. I can't stop looking at him. It was like he was. He's like Viking blood.

[Heath]

He's so captivating to watch.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Whoa.

[Shannon Maldonado]

Oh.

[Zane]

I'm guessing he's tall.

[Jared]

Huge.

[Matt]

Zane. Probably like 6, 7.

[Zane]

I want to see him as a, like in a Viking in a Viking set. Like I want to see him on Game of Thrones.

[Matt]

Oh, he is. Yeah. Everyone's like, where's his dragon? Where's his dragon?

[Zane]

Where's his dragon? The Targaryen.

[Matt]

Right? And he has the most amazing Birkin collection. I saw a whole TikTok all his bags, dude. Sickest looking Birkins and he makes them look masculine. He is cool, dude.

[Heath]

He's so good.

[Zane]

Does he have a strong accent?

[Matt]

He looks like he does like a Norwegian accent.

[Heath]

It's what you would expect to be.

[Jared]

He does look like that actor on House of the Dragon.

[Matt]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zane]

Matt. Matt Smith. Matt Smith.

[Matt]

Oh, yeah, he's good. He's. He's awesome. He's cool. He's my favorite pokemon out of all of them.

[Zane]

Speak. Speaking of, did you watch House of Dragon yet?

[Matt]

No. I do. I jumped ship last season.

[Zane]

Why would you jump?

[Matt]

Because I'm friends with all of them. It's just weird like seeing them in real life, you know?

[Zane]

Okay. One of them and I hung out

[Matt]

with little Millie one time.

[Zane]

Yeah, but that doesn't make you not watch something you already watched season one saying, I've just.

[Matt]

I' messing you up. You should have came out that one night. I was with all of them.

[Zane]

I know, I know.

[Matt]

All of them. You didn't come.

[Zane]

That's crazy. I had a chance. You gave me that chance.

[Matt]

I go, we are right here at this bar. We have a whole table and it was Patricia's birthday because she's tight with Bobby and. And Matt Smith came. Olivia, what's her name? She's amazing actress.

[Zane]

I'm not. Honestly, it was probably for the best I didn't show up.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Zane]

Because I. I think I probably wouldn't have. I just. I probably wouldn't have been good in that situation. I would have been way too nervous. It's too many of them at once.

[Matt]

I know. You would have had a meltdown.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

About him, guys.

[Zane]

It would have to. It would have to be, like, one at a time. You know, if I saw one, that's so. That's much easier to, you know.

[Matt]

Oh, can I ask a little name droppy question? But with you guys, are y' all tight with Ella Langley?

[Zane]

Really tight?

[Matt]

Because she follows you. Todd Heath.

[Zane]

Yeah, dude.

[Matt]

We've.

[Zane]

We've. We've had. We've gotten lunch, what, quite a few times, right. In Nashville.

[Matt]

Her tickets sold out.

[Heath]

It was one time we got lunch with her. It wasn't a couple times.

[Matt]

Can you DM her and say, can we get tickets to your LA show?

[Heath]

No, I would never.

[Zane]

No, I can't do. I can't be like that with her, man.

[Matt]

Y' all in the comments, encourage them to do it, you know, please. Maybe I will. Maybe I will.

[Heath]

The thing is, anyone can buy tickets,

[Matt]

but they're too expensive. They sold out.

[Zane]

Use that Dove money. Get that dumb money.

[Matt]

But I need them for, like, me and a couple of friends. My couple of friends don't have that much money. I wonder.

[Heath]

Go.

[Matt]

Four tickets. Ella Langley, please.

[Zane]

We're kidding. We don't know llangly well, you.

[Matt]

She doesn't follow that many people and she follows you.

[Zane]

She's probably a fan of, I don't know, Bonnie Ventator or something.

[Heath]

Or maybe she's been following since 2017.

[Matt]

Correct.

[Zane]

How do you know that?

[Heath]

You can see when somebody follows you.

[Matt]

I'll DM her. I'm going to DM Ella Langley, and hopefully I get in her DMs. But that's the thing, is she knows. She probably knows who I am.

[Zane]

Yeah, no, no, you should definitely try it.

[Matt]

See, look, $2,000, Zayn. So don't tell me.

[Jared]

And this is at the Greek. Like, this isn't.

[Zane]

I know it's crazy, but, like, I think it's crazier to DM her for tickets.

[Matt]

I'm looking at just options. It's L. A, it's showbiz.

[Zane]

I think you should pay for tickets, see her, and then DM her after saying, hey, how to?

[Heath]

Wonderful time at the show. Great.

[Zane]

That's full.

[Heath]

And then maybe the next show you'll get.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

So you guys are not friends?

[Zane]

No, we're not friends.

[Matt]

Do I sound like A dick.

[Zane]

It's not bad to ask for tickets. I think it's. That's not under the right circumstances.

[Matt]

Like, Danny, I'm going to see your ass at this fucking. Gonna be backstage. Like, me and he, like, we were Mirror selfie. I'll be like, I just want my wife to be happy, guys.

[Zane]

No, no, Matt, like, if I. If I was going and I was able to get extra tickets, I would 100%, like, bring you. Like, I, like, you know, like, that would understand happen. It's just like, because I'm not going to this. I can't, like, ask for somebody else and then. Then. But I'm not going.

[Matt]

It's just like, I know an artist and we were talking about my friends, and I'm like, you know, I'm gonna bring this up on the bot. And I had it in my.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

No, it's.

[Zane]

No, it. It's like, I. You have the right mindset. I just think it needs to be the right circumstance.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Zane]

You know, because anybody else would take that opportunity, especially if you love.

[Matt]

It's not like, let's say if it was in Fort Lauderdale,

[Zane]

Like, hey, I'm from Fort Lauderdale. I have a friend that really wants to go.

[Matt]

You're in Fort Lauderdale. Your mom's a big fan, and tickets are impossible. You would shoot her dm.

[Zane]

If tickets were impossible for me to get, like, it was sold out.

[Unidentified Guest]

I would.

[Zane]

Would DM her. I. I would. I would still buy them.

[Heath]

Okay.

[Zane]

I would. Yeah. I wouldn't. I wouldn't go for free. But that's just me, though, you know? Like, I. Yeah, you don't want to feel like you're using somebody. We're talking about this. Like, we're not being recorded. Yeah. This is like some unwind conversation we're having. Like, I'd be. If I knew she was watching this, I'd be so embarrassed.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zane]

Why are we talking about her? Why are we talking about her?

[Matt]

For the first 10 minutes, dude, L. Langley's chill. But, man, do you. I think the whole Ella fella.

[Zane]

Ella's Fellows.

[Jared]

Yeah. Like, I think that is one of the funniest sides.

[Zane]

I was about to buy that merch.

[Jared]

It'd be good merch.

[Zane]

It's really good merch. Ella's Fellows.

[Jared]

Like, I saw one. One guy made a TikTok of her, like, on stage. He's like, it's so cute watching my girlfriend pretend that she's single for the next hour and a half. I just think it's funny.

[Zane]

It's really funny.

[Matt]

We got to land this plane.

[Zane]

Yeah, I think it's time to like, that's really good. I really like, let's land this plane. I feel like I've been on a 12 hour shift.

[Heath]

My bags are packed.

[Matt]

Clocking out.

[Zane]

Clocking out, bookies. All right, guys, thank you so much for tuning into another episode of basically Unfiltered. I mean, Zany Heath. Unfiltered. Yeah, my next time I said it's gonna be like, thank you for tuning into another episode. Who and a half. Thank you so much. You can check out these episodes every Monday audio form and all podcast platforms. And every Tuesday video forum and YouTube.com zayn and heat.

[Heath]

Also make sure to check out the Patreon. Patreon.com Zayn and Heath. We keep these cameras rolling and you get an extended cut of every single podcast. We do an unwind. We do a bonus episode. We do a live Q and A every month. It's a great time. Again, it's all on patreon.com Zayn and Heath unwind. We'll see you in a second.

[Zane]

All right, guys. And we'll see you next time. Bye, guys.

[Heath]

Bye.

[Matt]

Toodles.

[Heath]

Toodles. Tata.

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