S5 Ep56: #258 - Zane's Most Mortifying Moment

Summary

Zane and Heath: Unfiltered – S5 Ep56: #258 - Zane's Most Mortifying Moment

Release Date: November 19, 2024

In this engaging episode of "Zane and Heath: Unfiltered," hosts Zane Hijazi and Heath Hussar delve into a variety of personal anecdotes, pop culture discussions, and humorous mishaps, culminating in Matt’s most mortifying moment. The conversation seamlessly weaves through topics ranging from birthday celebrations to historical events, offering listeners a rich and entertaining experience.

---

1. Celebrating Matt’s Birthday

The episode kicks off with the hosts celebrating Matt’s birthday, injecting a festive spirit into the conversation.

• Matt’s Embarrassing Birthday Morning: Matt shares a humorous account of waking up late due to a nightmare, prompting his friends to remind him of his special day.

  Matt (12:45): "I'm here. We're going. It's my birthday, so I can do whatever I want."

• Birthday Gifts and Surprises: Accelerator sends Matt a personalized birthday card, which the group eagerly opens and reacts to with amusement.

  Matt (13:30): "For your November 18th birthday, we're celebrating by giving your listeners 18% off cases on drinkaccelerator.com with code HBD."

---

2. Halloween Antics and Seltzer Stories

The hosts reminisce about Halloween experiences, particularly focusing on unconventional candy distribution.

• Unexpected Requests for Underwear: Matt recounts a bizarre encounter at a garage sale where a man inappropriately requested both new and used underwear.

  Matt (49:27): "He was like, do you guys have like any used underwear?"

• Seltzer Distribution to Adults: Heath explains how their twist on traditional Halloween treats led to an influx of adult attendees curious about their offerings.

  Heath (11:35): "They were like, yeah. But it's so much healthier than traditional peanut butter."

---

3. Pop Culture and Historical Insights

The conversation shifts to reflections on iconic stories and upcoming documentaries.

• Titanic Facts: The hosts discuss lesser-known facts about the Titanic, debunking myths portrayed in popular media.

  Zane (05:00): "But they don't know if it, like, split in half like they did in the movie."

• Upcoming MySpace Documentary: Excitement builds as the hosts anticipate a new documentary highlighting the rise and fall of MySpace, sharing nostalgic memories of their own MySpace days.

  Matt (41:02): "Oh, my God, that's so sick. I really hope they finish it and complete it and like, it's good and they put it out."

---

4. Personal Grooming Habits

Zane, Heath, and Mariah delve into their personal routines and misconceptions about grooming products.

• Shampoo vs. Conditioner: An amusing revelation emerges when Matt admits to unknowingly using only conditioner as shampoo during his teenage years.

  Matt (34:18): "I was using only conditioner as my shampoo because I thought, that's just what you do."

• Tooth Brushing Techniques: The group debates the correct order of using mouthwash, floss, and brushing, sharing tips and humorous confusions.

  Zane (31:02): "So you have good floss."

---

5. Navigating Popular Games and Simulations

The hosts explore the differences between fictional portrayals and real-life scenarios in popular games and media.

• Oregon Trail vs. Reality: A discussion highlights the fictional elements of "The Oregon Trail" game versus the historical challenges faced by pioneers.

  Matt (19:57): "You just never got to be able to fix the broken door."

---

6. Zane's Most Mortifying Moment: Matt’s Porta Potty Fiasco

The centerpiece of the episode is Matt’s deeply embarrassing experience during a pumpkin festival.

• The Incident: Matt narrates how an unexpected malfunction in a porta potty left him exposed to the entire festival, despite the area being sparsely populated.

  Matt (54:43): "I was wiping, I didn't know if it was like, serious or not. So I pull my pants down... And the door has swung open."

• Reactions and Aftermath: The group reacts with a mix of horror and laughter as Matt explains his frantic efforts to maintain composure and leave the situation unnoticed.

  Heath (57:18): "She's so mean. You need to leave."

• Comparative Embarrassments: Heath shares his own awkward bathroom encounters, emphasizing the group's camaraderie in dealing with mortifying moments.

  Heath (58:34): "When we were at Disney and I thought you were in the bathroom."

---

7. Silly Business Ideas and Social Observations

As the episode progresses, the hosts brainstorm quirky business ideas and comment on odd online behaviors.

• Anonymous Boss Complaints: Zane introduces an inventive yet humorous business concept where individuals can hire someone to anonymously berate their bosses.

  Zane (62:02): "You can hire him to come to your work and give an anonymous complaint to your boss and he can just like, cuss them out."

• Creepy Online Marketplace Listings: The group discusses unsettling listings on platforms like Facebook Marketplace, sharing their concerns and speculating on the motives behind such posts.

  Matt (52:50): "It's part of the firm, though. Like, I don't think it's like a freelancer."

---

8. Final Thoughts and Reflections

The episode wraps up with light-hearted discussions on personal care, aging, and the importance of maintaining dignity in embarrassing situations.

• Mind-Muscle Connection in Workouts: Zane and Matt emphasize the significance of focusing on specific muscles during workouts to enhance effectiveness.

  Zane (38:00): "You have to be focused on it. And that increases so much more growth."

• Reflections on Personal Growth: The hosts reflect on their journeys from past to present, acknowledging how past experiences shape their current selves.

---

Notable Quotes

• Matt (12:45): "It's my birthday, so I can do whatever I want."
• Heath (11:35): "They were like, yeah. But it's so much healthier than traditional peanut butter."
• Zane (05:00): "But they don't know if it, like, split in half like they did in the movie."
• Matt (34:18): "I was using only conditioner as my shampoo because I thought, that's just what you do."
• Matt (54:43): "I pull my pants down... And the door has swung open."
• Zane (62:02): "You can hire him to come to your work and give an anonymous complaint to your boss and he can just like, cuss them out."

---

Conclusion

"Zane and Heath: Unfiltered" continues to deliver its trademark blend of humor, candid conversations, and relatable stories. This episode, centered around Matt’s unforgettable porta potty incident, underscores the podcast’s ability to transform embarrassing moments into sources of laughter and connection. Whether reminiscing about old platforms like MySpace or tackling everyday mishaps, Zane and Heath ensure their audience is both entertained and engaged.

Listeners who haven't tuned into the episode will find this summary a comprehensive guide to the rich tapestry of discussions and insights shared by the hosts, making them feel like part of the conversation.

Transcript

[Zane]

Lights are going up, snow is falling down. There's a feeling of goodwill around town. It could only mean one thing. McRib is here. People throwing parties, ugly sweaters everywhere. Stockings hung up by the chimney with care. It could only mean one thing. Big Rib is here. Had participated in McDonald's for a limited time. And it's wild. Like how thick. Just like external hard drives used to be. And now they're like, you can put them in your wallet. They're so thin.

[Heath]

Uh huh.

[Zane]

Then it's going to be like this big and we're going to be like, where the hell is everything?

[Heath]

It gets to a point where it's too small. I hate the audio. Micro SD cards.

[Matt]

Yes.

[Heath]

Too small.

[Zane]

Way too small.

[Heath]

They're also so like flimsy. I feel like you're going to like.

[Zane]

Break it if it falls into grass.

[Heath]

Valuable and important of a piece of technology to be that little.

[Zane]

Completely agree. Completely agree. Those are some fire crocs, Heath.

[Heath]

Thank you, Pizza Planet.

[Zane]

Pizza Planet. Crocs for the people listening. Got some checkers. Thank you.

[Heath]

They got all the little knickknacks on the jibbets. Thanks.

[Zane]

Yeah. That's so wild. You're wearing Crocs. I was wearing Crocs yesterday.

[Heath]

I really like them. I feel like the croc hatred died out and now they're. Now they're cool.

[Zane]

They're here to stay. They're not going anywhere. Did you ever go into sport mode?

[Heath]

Always put it in 4x4.

[Zane]

Yeah, just put that little strap in the back, you're good to go. You bought those at Disney? Bold move to buy something pretty cumbersome to. Did you get it at the end of your Disney trip or literally the.

[Heath]

First store we walked into, I was like, Mariah saw them behind the counter and was like, oh my God, look at how cool those are. And I didn't see them anywhere in the store. So I asked the lady, I was like, do you guys sell those or is that just like a one off item? She's like, no, no, no. Around the corner right here we have them. And I went, they had my size. I brought it in, rang it up and I put them on and spent the whole day in them.

[Zane]

What'd you do with your other shoes?

[Heath]

Did you just to carry them?

[Zane]

Oh no.

[Heath]

But it was worth it. Yeah, it was definitely worth it.

[Zane]

They got the Toyota car on it too.

[Heath]

Yep. It's got the toy truck on it. And then we got aliens, we got a box of pizza. We got a little spaceship.

[Zane]

God. The one thing that Pizza Planet always wanted was, like, the soda vending machines. Like, when they went up and it was like the robot aliens and I just wish it was real. Drops. I know.

[Heath]

If they made a Pizza Planet, like.

[Zane]

Restaurant and made it good pizza. Yes, because the Disney one is, like, it doesn't hint.

[Heath]

It kind of, like, makes you upset.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Because you're expecting, like, it's the Pizza Planet. It's iconic. It better have good pizza. And it's not.

[Zane]

No, it's just like a food court.

[Heath]

And then you kind of, like, don't want it. It's also crazy expensive, right?

[Zane]

Everything at Disney's pretty expensive. Have you ever been to Club 33?

[Heath]

No, but we were talking about that because we did like, a kind of like, vip, little, like, tour thing.

[Mariah]

What is it?

[Heath]

It's a private club that you have to be a member of in order to go into it. And it's kind of in, like, a secret spot in the park in the open. But you have to know the wait list.

[Mariah]

Grandfathered in.

[Zane]

Yeah, the waitlist is, like, 30 years. Like, the wait list is just get into it.

[Heath]

It's like 50 grand, like, initiation fee to, like, get in. But then you have to pay monthly fees to, like.

[Zane]

But if you know somebody and know somebody, you can make it happen. I know a handful of people who've been in in Club 33 and did not have a membership.

[Mariah]

But then when you get there, you still have to pay for to eat.

[Zane]

And it's. I heard it's like, fancy food. And it's not even, like, that good, because you go to an amusement park, you kind of want, like, a little churro. You want something that kind of hits the spot. You're going to be like, food. You're, like, tucking in the bib and, like, getting lobster bisque. And you' like, this is.

[Heath]

Yeah, I don't need a Chateaubriand. You know what I mean?

[Zane]

But I know Club 33, though. Before Disneyland allowed you to drink alcohol. Now you can drink.

[Heath]

Yes. That's what it was.

[Zane]

That was the only place where you could drink.

[Mariah]

Oh, it's like a speakeasy.

[Heath]

Yeah. Walt didn't want anybody to have alcohol at the park, so he came up with, like, the idea of Club 33 for the corporate, like, executive people to be able to, like, have a cocktail and a meeting, like, on premise.

[Zane]

Oh, that's what it looks like on the inside. I don't think I've ever seen the inside of it. It looks nice.

[Heath]

Apparently there's, like, a really cool, like, waiting room in there. Like, our. Our tour guide lady, she was telling us about it. She said it's, like, really cool.

[Zane]

Is there a dress code? Like, like, sir, you're gonna have to leave the Crocs at the door. Like. Like. I don't know.

[Heath]

You have to, like, do, like, a palm scan to, like, fit in.

[Matt]

Hey, guys. Good morning. I'm here. No, I think all of them are weird. There's some weird. There's some weird stuff going on. I don't know what the hell is going on in that room in Club 33, but I think. Yeah.

[Zane]

What is the three.

[Matt]

Three. What is happening? What is that nasty.

[Zane]

Three plus three equals six.

[Matt]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Zane]

You know what? Six is the devil. This is not a Christian product.

[Matt]

No, no.

[Zane]

Bsc.

[Matt]

I think those squares. I think those squares turn upside down, and it. It kidnaps all the. All the people.

[Zane]

Patrons.

[Matt]

Yeah, it kidnaps them, and then it turns them to Disney. Disney. Disney.

[Zane]

Get it out.

[Matt]

What's the word? Employees.

[Zane]

There you go.

[Matt]

And they're forced to be employees, and they. When they don't want to be. Because, man, you should see some of them. They don't want to work there. I wouldn't either.

[Heath]

There's a lot of speculation about that place.

[Matt]

Sorry, I just woke up, too. Do you guys know also, we were told that if you are walking around and you tell employee that you're having a bad day, like, I'm having a bad day. They have to stay with you and make sure you have a good day because it is the happiest place on earth.

[Zane]

What is that?

[Matt]

So they're like, what? What can we do to make you happy? And then they have to do it.

[Zane]

I'm having a bad day.

[Matt]

I was this close to, like, act howdy and be like, I'm having a bad day. What are you all gonna do for me? What are we gonna do for me?

[Zane]

Yeah, help me cut the line. Yeah, yeah. That's what I would just say is, like, I don't want to wait in this line.

[Matt]

Yeah, but, like, how. Yeah, like, how far are you gonna go? Like, no one's ever gonna go. I know. I want to skip this. I don't care. And it. What if you're like, okay, this is the only way to make you happy? We're gonna make it work.

[Zane]

You know, also with. Speaking of Toy Story, a Disney, they used to. The actors, if they were in Toy Story, and if you said, andy's coming, they would all, like, fall down to the ground. But then everyone found out about it, and they were Just like they now they just look around for Andy. Like they don't all fall to the ground, but it was a cool little bit they used to do, but it got out of hand.

[Matt]

Those Disney mom tiktoks, they are ruining all the magic. They just, they just constantly put out everything that you're like, that are secrets and now there's no secrets anymore.

[Heath]

It is cool to see like the little hidden things like around the park though.

[Matt]

Like, I think some of them, some of them are horseshit though. Is it like, look, that's a Disney. It's like, no, it's not. It's just, it's just three circles.

[Zane]

When you walk into the park, do you go left or do you go right?

[Matt]

I always go right.

[Heath]

I don't know technically what we did because we started at the Grand California Hotel.

[Zane]

Oh, right. And you walk right in and you're attached to.

[Heath]

What is it called? California Adventure.

[Zane]

It's right by soaring over California or over there in like the wilderness vibe. Well, this is like a amusement park hack. And also any type of like, function you do go into, they say go left because in human nature we're prone to go right. It's just something like they've done studies.

[Heath]

Of like, so less crowded to go left.

[Zane]

And so yeah, you're gonna run into less people if you go left when you enter into a space than going right. Because humans, I don't know if it's because we're right handed, but we're just, we gravitate towards the right more than the left.

[Matt]

Oh, rock, paper, scissors.

[Heath]

Ready?

[Zane]

Oh, what is this for? What is this?

[Heath]

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Yep, rock always wins.

[Zane]

Oh, really?

[Heath]

Yes. So most people, for some reason I would think paper choose scissor first. Ah, there's something about scissor being the last option. So when you say it in your head, you go rock, paper, scissor. And then for some reason, most people immediately think of scissor to throw their first one.

[Mariah]

So it was the last one they heard.

[Heath]

Yeah, so I always throw rock and it's, it's almost like guaranteed it's the.

[Zane]

Last one they heard.

[Mariah]

And then you panic because you have to make a decision no matter what, and you forget the first two.

[Zane]

Because my favorite move, my favorite like defeat is the paper over rock. I love it. So I always think the person is going to do the paper over the rock. So I'm always going for scissors because I'm like, gotcha, bitch.

[Heath]

Got you.

[Zane]

I'm going to cut it.

[Matt]

I feel like card magicians do too. Because like the last, they'll like, like pick a card and they'll go like this. And there's one number that they like want you to see.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Hold it a little a, like it's like a millisecond longer. Which is so crazy that they're in their head. They're like, you have to hope it works. You have to hope it works at the number that they are that they see.

[Zane]

On Halloween, we were giving out candy and this little girl comes up and she's like dressed as just like scissors. Like she had cardboard cut out as scissors.

[Mariah]

And I was like, was there paper and Ross?

[Zane]

So, so at first I was like, oh my gosh, lovely costume. Like this girl just wanted to be scissors for Halloween. And I was like, okay, here's candy. And then finally her parents all came up and it's like rock, paper, scissors. They were hold. I'm like, I was like, now I get it. I just thought she wanted to be scissors for Halloween.

[Mariah]

There was like a 12 year old girl that came up to our house and her dad was standing right next to her. And again with the frickin gentle parenting. She's 12, she's old enough to know better. She reaches her hand and grab, there's a line, grabs a whole handful and throws it in her bag. And I gave her like a look, like a mom look. And the dad didn't do anything. And she saw the look and she looks at me, she goes, you're so pretty.

[Zane]

She's gonna go fall in line.

[Mariah]

I said, so are you. And she goes, can I have another? And grabs another handful. I said, one more and she goes. And she like puts it back and takes one.

[Matt]

Ew.

[Mariah]

It was the most mean girl energy.

[Heath]

You're so pretty. Can I have another?

[Mariah]

Literally, she saw my energy, that I was upset. She goes, you're so pretty.

[Matt]

That's crazy. That sounds.

[Zane]

Pretty.

[Mariah]

Oh my gosh, you're gorgeous. I was in like ugly makeup.

[Matt]

Like what, like what movie was she watching? Because that is a movie.

[Mariah]

Yeah, like, oh my.

[Zane]

I love that.

[Mariah]

Where did you get it?

[Zane]

You agree you think you're really pretty.

[Mariah]

So you agree you think you're really pretty.

[Zane]

Get the fuck off my porch.

[Matt]

It's crazy that she like watched a movie and she was like, oh, I want to be the mean girl, not like the good girl that like we all.

[Heath]

I see. It's crazy. Every single year for Halloween you get like a really good idea of what kids are like because some of them are so bad and rude with the Candy and the gimme, gimme, and the grabbing, and it's just like, how were you not raised to. I don't know. Some of them were so nasty.

[Mariah]

It's the preteen age.

[Heath]

But, like, we also. We were giving out, like, seltzers, like, happy hours. And I was also giving out accelerators to the adults. The parents were so excited. Like, I was given every parent, like, one of these, and they were just like, oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. And then they were like, word was spreading around the neighborhood to the parents that we were like the tequila, seltzer and energy.

[Mariah]

So then it ended up just being parents showing up to our porch without kids, and they're kind of just standing there. They're like, hey, nice to meet you guys. I'm like, hey. And it's quiet. I'm like, you heard about the seltzer?

[Matt]

And they're like, yeah.

[Heath]

So then we were just, like, giving them out. But it was. It was really fun.

[Mariah]

But speaking of accelerator, we do have a little birthday gift for Zane after the intro.

[Heath]

You gotta wait. You gotta wait. You gotta wait.

[Mariah]

Okay, wait. Today is Zane's birthday.

[Heath]

Happy birthday, Raven.

[Matt]

Happy birthday. Happy birthday.

[Heath]

Happy birthday.

[Matt]

Happy birthday to you. I look like a monkey and I smell like one, two.

[Zane]

I gotta write down. Get data. Get.

[Matt]

Yeah, yeah. Order it right now. You'll be good. Oh, right before the episode ends.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

It's coffee time, baby. Let's go. Well, I was gonna say happy birthday. Welcome back to. Welcome back to Zany Heath Unfiltered. I'm your host, Zayn.

[Heath]

I'm Heath.

[Zane]

I'm Matt.

[Mariah]

I'm Mariah.

[Matt]

And we are Unfiltered. Thank you so much for coming to another episode, guys. I'm just waking up, so please give me some. Give me some.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Heath]

We walked in, and Zayn was nowhere to be found. And I was like, oh, maybe he's just, like, in his room getting ready. I didn't want to, like, be annoying and be like, yo, yeah. I didn't know that you were still sleeping.

[Matt]

I was sleeping, and I was having a crazy nightmare. I woke up sweating. Like, the only thing I wanted to do as soon as I got up was, like, shower and. And. But, like, I saw you guys, like, the lights were on. I'm like, oh, my God. I have no time to just get ready right now. So I'm here. We're going. It's my birthday, so I can do whatever I want.

[Heath]

That's right. Okay.

[Matt]

So.

[Heath]

So Accelerator did send a big birthday card.

[Matt]

Oh, my God, yes. Guys, look at this. Accelerator gave me a birthday car. I'm gonna open it. Lab on the stew.

[Mariah]

Good handwriting.

[Heath]

I love good penmanship.

[Zane]

Oh.

[Matt]

Oh, my word. Even get big birthday cards from big.

[Zane]

Birthday cards dot com. I've just made that up. Yeah.

[Heath]

Okay.

[Matt]

For your November 18th birthday, we're celebrating by giving your listeners 18% off cases on drink accelerator.com with code HBD. Zane, wow. You're the best. Happy birthday from your friends at Accelerator. Wow, guys, thank you. 18%. Go get it. Drink accelerator.com. let's see. God, they know me so well. They even incorporated. Holy cow.

[Heath]

That's so funny.

[Matt]

Look at that. I think they gave us four.

[Zane]

Oh, boy. I don't know if my headphones will be able to fit over it, but I'll.

[Matt]

Oh, my God. For the people listening, guys, thank you so much.

[Zane]

You know the plastic kind of hats where you have, like, the two cup holders on this side of the top? We got this. A cowboy version, baby. Oh, and they got a black one. These are Texas A M colors. I don't know about this.

[Heath]

Honestly, this would have been really nice for my hike.

[Zane]

Are you going to do it?

[Heath]

There it is.

[Zane]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Goes easy.

[Mariah]

Are you one?

[Matt]

Are you two?

[Mariah]

Are you three?

[Heath]

I love these.

[Zane]

Now you. You made a mess. I wonder when, like, those hats, like, first started, was it like 80s, 70s, 90s, like the double drinking 80s thing? And I feel like it was probably something in a movie that, like, you.

[Heath]

Think it was like a gag thing. And then people were like, wait a minute. That's kind of cool.

[Zane]

Yeah. Or I feel like one guy, one brilliant frat dude was just like, I'm gonna make a hat where I can drink out of it. And then it was probably in a movie. And then it just, like, took off as, like, beer.

[Mariah]

Helmet was patented by Steve Nelson in 1985.

[Heath]

Wow.

[Zane]

Shout out to Steve. Wait, what? How did your dad make his money? Well, you know, the beer. Yeah, my dad did it.

[Heath]

Well, thank you very, very much, Accelerator. And happy birthday again.

[Matt]

Thank you. Thank you, everyone. I really appreciate it. I'm gonna have a good day today.

[Heath]

I know you are.

[Matt]

Thank you.

[Zane]

Of course. What do you want to do for your birthday? Are you doing anything for yourself or are you going to throw a party?

[Matt]

I always. I remember, like, like five, six years ago. I remember every time someone in their 30s or 40s would be like, oh, it's my birthday, but I don't want to do anything. And I'm. And in my head, I was like, how are they why, like, I don't understand how, why they think like that. Like just, just enjoy it. Like let's do something. And like every year it's like more and more. I just like we just don't need to do anything. It's just not that special. I know.

[Zane]

It just takes too much organization and orchestration to get all your friends together. And then you hate taking up their time because as you get more in your 30s, everyone has plans. And also people don't want to make plans.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

So you're like, you really don't have.

[Heath]

You just don't want to be like an inconvenience. Before we continue, we want to give a big thank you to our sponsor of this podcast, Mint Mobile.

[Matt]

You know when you discover a new binge worthy show or a song that you bump on repeat and you have to share it with your friends so they can experience just how awesome it is? That's kind of what it feels like when you discover the Mint Mobile offers Premium Wireless for $15 a month. When you purchase a three month plan, it's such an awesome deal, there's no way you can keep it to yourself and friends.

[Heath]

Don't let friends overpay for wireless. So say bye bye to your overpriced wireless plan and switch to Mint Mobile. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you and your squad with premium wireless plans starting at $15 a month.

[Matt]

All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all your existing content contacts, which is a blessing.

[Heath]

So ditch overpriced wireless with Mint Mobile's deal and get three months of premium wireless service for just 15amonth.

[Matt]

So if you want to get this new customer offer and your three month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com heath that's mint mobile.com heath Again, cut your wireless.

[Heath]

Bill to just 15amonth at mint mobile.com.

[Matt]

Heath $45 upfront payment required, equivalent to 15amonth. New customers on first three month plan only speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details.

[Heath]

Thank you so much Mint Mobile for sponsoring this podcast. We love you.

[Zane]

You know what is now a new escape room that's in LA that I just saw.

[Matt]

What? 18th door?

[Zane]

No, it's the 18th door, but I think it's the same.

[Mariah]

Oh, I just saw it.

[Zane]

Titanic.

[Heath]

Titanic escape room.

[Zane]

Wow.

[Matt]

And do they Fill up the room with water.

[Zane]

I don't know, I. When I watch, I didn't see the water. But it does look kind of fun. It does look kind of fun and I think we definitely should do it.

[Matt]

You know how, like, you know how they have a 60 out where they make different escape rooms around 17 dorsets? It's so intense. They should make super intense ones like Titanic where you are, you, you are.

[Zane]

Underwater and you need to round. Yeah, that's. Yeah, I want to feel it. It's cold and it's just freezing cold. You might get hypothermia.

[Matt]

That's on the release when you saw hypothermia stink. So this one just came out.

[Zane]

That you can do, I believe. And I, I bet there's been a handful of like Titanic escape rooms, but now there's finally one in LA made by 60 out.

[Matt]

Oh, 60 out. They make great escapers.

[Zane]

Yes, they do. So we definitely should give it a go.

[Mariah]

Isn't it interesting that out of all the major events like Titanic is the one that's acceptable to. I'm not gonna use the word celebrate.

[Zane]

I think because Titanic is that political.

[Matt]

Not only because it's really, really old, like it happened a long time ago, but I think it's because it like happened naturally. Like an ice. They hit an iceberg. So it was like. It wasn't like. But even like, who's making fun of like any hurricane?

[Mariah]

I was just gonna say, what if they did like a hurricane Katrina, like escape room.

[Heath]

Yeah. You know, really windy in the room.

[Mariah]

You can't do it.

[Zane]

It is.

[Matt]

I don't know.

[Zane]

So it's so old. And it also is like rarely documented. It's just the story of it. There's not like video there, really. I don't even think there is a picture of the Titanic sinking. Like a real photograph of.

[Matt]

No, no, I don't think they.

[Mariah]

Yeah, like, why don't they have like a Mayflower experience?

[Zane]

You might get tuberculosis and die. Right. But the Oregon Trail, though, that's one though, where it's a simulation all the time.

[Matt]

The what?

[Zane]

The Oregon Trail. You know, like the computer game.

[Mariah]

So good.

[Zane]

You never played Oregon Trail? Like.

[Mariah]

No, we've talked about this before.

[Zane]

No, it's like a pioneer simulation game that they play in schools where you learn about the Oregon Trail and you like, shoot buffalo and.

[Matt]

Oh, okay.

[Zane]

And you die of dysentery at the end.

[Heath]

You're on your way to like find gold and stuff, right?

[Zane]

Yes, I believe so.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

Thank goodness that rose, like found Jack on that, like, yeah. He's like, rose, this is what we're gonna do. We're gonna get to the top of this. We're gonna ride it all the way down. Just like, wow.

[Matt]

You know how long. You know how long I believed that that, like, whole story happened.

[Zane]

Oh, you thought that Jack and Rose were real people, Matt?

[Matt]

I thought it was, like, for a good amount of time after, the characters are real.

[Zane]

Like, the, like, Kathy Bates character is a real woman. Like the woman who came in a new.

[Matt]

Yeah, but there was no love story, though, was there? There was no love story.

[Mariah]

There could have been.

[Matt]

There could have been.

[Heath]

Okay.

[Matt]

But, yeah.

[Heath]

Was there really, like, no lifeboats that people were able to, like, be rescued?

[Zane]

There just wasn't enough.

[Heath]

But there are survivors, though.

[Mariah]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zane]

There's definitely children survived, but a lot of poor people, like the Irish down at the bot, they just locked it up because they knew that.

[Heath]

They know how many survived? Is there, like, a documentation?

[Zane]

Yeah, definitely. Definitely about 700.

[Heath]

700 more than I thought.

[Mariah]

The last person who survived pass away recently.

[Zane]

I believe so.

[Matt]

Really?

[Zane]

But they, I think, were also a baby, and they didn't remember. They were just like, I was on the Titanic.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

That's crazy.

[Zane]

But, you know, like, Rose, how she, like, dropped the diamond in the ocean at the end. Can you imagine just being her granddaughter? Being, like, a bitch. What? Like, you just. That was, like, worth. Worth, like, nearly a billion dollars.

[Matt]

Like, that diamond, like, unbelievable.

[Zane]

You've tossed it in the ocean.

[Matt]

It's crazy. And nobody. And still to this day, nobody. They're. They're going. The count. What are people saying on the lifeboats of how the Titanic went down? Like, they don't know if it, like, split in half like they did in the movie. Like, they really don't know how the ship went underwater.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

They're just going by what, like, what people thought happened.

[Heath]

Oh.

[Matt]

Which is pretty crazy.

[Zane]

Oh. She died in 2009 at the age of 97.

[Heath]

Wow.

[Zane]

Southampton, England.

[Matt]

And how old was she when she was like.

[Zane]

Well, if she was 97 in 2009, I bet she was young. She had to have been. She was the young. She was 92 months old. Wow.

[Matt]

So she really, like, was like, the.

[Zane]

Oh, yeah. That's crazy. Yeah.

[Matt]

Oh, and, you know, she. Oh, she looks like. She looks like she was on the Titanic. Look at that.

[Zane]

You know, she probably brought that up a lot to her friends, and they were like, I would too.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

But they were like, you were too. Remember it?

[Matt]

Oh, my. Bringing that up at Every party. Are you kidding me? What a great icebreaker. Like, hi, my name is. Hi, I was on the Titanic.

[Mariah]

Nice icebreaker.

[Zane]

Yeah, like three truths and a lie. I was on the Titanic. On the Titanic. Like, we know. You bring that up a lot.

[Matt]

Yes. Shut up, Martha. You're lucky you are a baby.

[Heath]

Damn. That's really cool, though.

[Zane]

That is very cool.

[Heath]

Before we continue, we want to give a big thank you to our next sponsor of this podcast.

[Matt]

Earn in Life doesn't happen biweekly, so why should Payday? The money you earn can be in your hands today with earnin.

[Heath]

Earnin is an app that gives you access to your pay as you work up to a hundred dollars per day and up to $750 per day period.

[Matt]

Just download the Earnin app and verify your paycheck. Then access up to $100 a day as you work and leave an optional ticket. Any money you access plus tips are automatically repaid from your next paycheck.

[Heath]

And if you're like us, you have an animal, a little kitty that you love, you know, you get a trip to the vet that you have to come out of pocket. It's an unexpected expense. Earning really comes in and saves the day with something like that.

[Matt]

Exactly. So make Earn in a part of your financial routine and join earnings over 4 million customers who say things like, when I think about earning, I think about financial stability, baby security. It gives me a lot of peace of mind.

[Heath]

That's right, baby. So download Earn in today E, A, R, N I in the Google Play or Apple App Store.

[Matt]

When you download the Earn an app, type in Zanen Heath unfiltered under Podcast when you sign up. It'll really help the show. Zane and Heath unfiltered under Podcast.

[Heath]

Earnin is a financial technology company, not a bank. Cash outs are based on your available earnings. Standard cash outs take one to two business days with no mandatory fees and.

[Matt]

You have an option to expedite your transfer for a fee. Tips are voluntary and don't affect the service. See the cash out user agreement for details. Services not available in all states.

[Heath]

Thank you so much earning for sponsoring this podcast. We love you.

[Matt]

Oh, remember, Remember when we talked about a couple of years ago that we were going to do a pirate ship for my birthday?

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Never did it. Look where we are. We're in this little.

[Zane]

Yeah, it's a little chilly.

[Matt]

Should be on a pirate ship right now. Fucking ahoying with my. With my. Walking with my homies. Yeah, I've always walked the plank.

[Zane]

I always wanted to Walk a plank. Yeah, that's just.

[Matt]

Just shark infested waters. Like hypothermia with it. I just want to like, just kind of. I want to live that.

[Zane]

I. Someone made me walk the plank, I'd be like, fuck all you guys.

[Heath]

What? When you walk the plank, you're. You're tied up, right?

[Zane]

Yeah. Your feet and shit.

[Matt]

Like, oh, they put rocks out here.

[Zane]

Want you to sink to the bottom to J.B. jones's locker.

[Heath]

So the whole thing is like, they're basically like killing you if you just like tie them up and then you make them jump and just sink. That's what walking the plank is, right?

[Zane]

Yeah. Pretty cruel. Yeah.

[Heath]

That's crazy.

[Zane]

And they just have like the knife.

[Heath]

And they poke you to.

[Matt]

Honestly, I feel like that's, I feel like that's better. That's a better death than like just let it leave you stranded the middle of the ocean. I think that's worse.

[Heath]

No, I think drowning has to be like the.

[Matt]

Oh, no, it's definitely the worst death for sure.

[Zane]

But we've never talked about why pirates have the eye patch. It's not because pirates like lost an eyeball. It's because it's a way of getting one eye regulated to the darkness and one is to the light. And when you enter the deck below after it's been sunny outside, it's all dark inside. You don't have to like adjust for the darkness.

[Matt]

Oh, does that make sense? Oh, my God.

[Zane]

Explain that. Right?

[Matt]

No, that makes sense.

[Zane]

Just move it around. So one eye's already been dilated when ready for the darkness. And then one.

[Heath]

I think I, I think.

[Zane]

And that's what.

[Matt]

When they're in battle, when they're like enough for.

[Zane]

Oh, I bet they're more. Pop that open and like just. Yeah, I need both of my eyes in this situation. Wow.

[Heath]

Really smart.

[Zane]

Yeah, brilliant. Brilliant.

[Heath]

And also they really weren't peg legged.

[Zane]

What were they?

[Heath]

They were just, they were just kneeling. It's actually bent behind them.

[Matt]

But how did they lose their leg, though? Scurvy. Scurvy.

[Zane]

It's definitely scurvy.

[Matt]

Was it infection? Was it hypothermia?

[Heath]

Probably. Like, it's just wild how people back in the day, you get like a cut or like some sort of scrape. There was no, like run the risk of like.

[Zane]

Yeah. And they had to amputate it.

[Heath]

Like an infection like that. That's wild.

[Matt]

That sucks. You know how many times we get something and like, oh, it's staff and we can go to the doctor and get like Antibiotics.

[Heath]

And all we do is just put a little bit of Neosporin, and we're like, we're saved.

[Matt]

I. I really wonder how long we would have lasted without, like, if we didn't have doctors. Like, what did we. What have we all gotten in that?

[Mariah]

I think the lifespan used to be, like, 20, late 20s.

[Zane]

But I'm such a good empath. Like, my anxiety would go through the roof if, like, my friend started coughing. I'd be like, like, it's gonna be okay. I.

[Matt]

And their sicknesses would probably last months. They didn't get. Oh, my God.

[Heath]

Also, like, you break a bone, like, that arm is just this.

[Zane]

Oh. And it could, like, grow weird and just. Is like, you're just. You never got to be able to fix the broken door.

[Heath]

Like, you're not getting surgery to put, like, metal rods through your bones to make it, like.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Like, you're just screwing.

[Matt]

That's so weird. Think about cavities.

[Heath]

Mm.

[Matt]

Like, you're just. You're just. You're.

[Zane]

Oh, yeah. Just ripping out teeth all the time.

[Heath]

That would be probably the worst thing, ripping out teeth. Oh. I think, like, the fact that, like, no dentist back then, if you did get a cavity, just, like, tooth pain.

[Zane]

Oh.

[Heath]

Without medication or anything, he doesn't cast.

[Zane]

Away or, like, Tom Hanks his own with the. With the ice skate.

[Heath]

I never do that.

[Zane]

Oh. I feel like if you got me drunk enough in the pain was that bad. I could remove one of my own.

[Matt]

Oh, me, too. I could remove my teeth right now. With how weak they are right now.

[Zane]

I get, like, in the substance.

[Matt]

I know. So that's what that would be me. I think, by age, like, honestly, age 9 or 10, my teeth would be gone. Like, I have no teeth.

[Zane]

It's so wild that, like, we have baby teeth, and then we get our adult teeth, and that's it. What if we were shedding our teeth, like, once a year? Like, all of our friends would, like, lose. Like, oh, hey. It's just that maybe beauty. Or it would be more like, embrace. Like, hey, it's okay. You're. You just.

[Matt]

Just.

[Zane]

You're growing in a new one.

[Matt]

But they would come up with, like, little dentures where you just put, like, a fake tooth in until it grows out, and you'll be fine.

[Zane]

Yeah. But then people be like, why are you hiding it? Like, everybody. Everybody poops.

[Matt]

Everybody loses their teeth. It's fine.

[Zane]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Matt]

My teeth. I would always have a hole somewhere.

[Heath]

It would be cool if there was just, like, a third set that was.

[Zane]

Like, a Backup set like that would come in.

[Matt]

I think we need, I think we all need a third set for sure. If you lose one more set.

[Zane]

Yeah, like just one. When you, you know, we've all had dental implied.

[Heath]

You get your baby teeth and they only last for like a few years and then that next set is your whole life. Yeah, I wish you lost your baby teeth at like 30. That way I can like imagine baby.

[Matt]

Teeth when you're 25.

[Mariah]

Wait, there was a guy on Tick Tock. His bottom two teeth are still his baby teeth.

[Heath]

Yeah, my mom. Your mom saw an adult tooth for one of them and she had a baby tooth up until like a couple years ago and had it pulled.

[Matt]

Why did she pull it out before?

[Heath]

Because she didn't have another tooth.

[Matt]

Oh, she didn't have another one under it?

[Heath]

No, it was just one of the. One of the teeth just never had a baby tooth behind it, so.

[Zane]

Oh God.

[Heath]

Our dentist was like, don't let that one fall out. Oh, but wouldn't it be nice to know that like you could at least get a fresh set like in your 30s.

[Matt]

Oh, all these 80 year olds would have beautiful tea. Just like everything, everything is just going old except for their teeth. Teeth.

[Zane]

It's strange.

[Matt]

Yeah, that actually looks strange.

[Zane]

Some people never have to get their wisdom teeth removed and they just grow in like normal. No crowding.

[Matt]

Yeah. There's a lot of times you don't even have to take out your wisdom teeth. People just do it just. Or a dentist or. That's how a dentist would make money. They're like, we got to take your wisdom teeth. But they don't need to about that. But they don't need to.

[Mariah]

I truly don't think I needed mine out. I got all four out. I never had pain. I felt them all coming in. There was plenty of room.

[Heath]

They said there was like crowding.

[Mariah]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Oh, I just found out some girl posted a Tick Tock the other day. It's her dentist told her, her, it was her close friend. So like she tells her all like the.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Stuff that people don't talk about. But she said you're supposed to do mouthwash first or you're supposed to floss first. Mouthwash and then brush your teeth. And you're not supposed to like wash your mouth out after brushing your teeth. You're supposed to leave that toothpaste on your teeth.

[Mariah]

I always leave my tooth.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Mariah]

After because I feel like, I feel like rinsing out the toothpaste. Like I want the toothpaste to like sit in my teeth.

[Matt]

Oh, yeah, you're not supposed to. So. So I've been brushing my teeth now and leaving that gunk on there. You're not supposed to like, spit it out.

[Heath]

So my order is floss, brush, mouth, like with just like water.

[Mariah]

No.

[Heath]

And then I'll do mouthwash and then I'll gargle mouthwash and spit that out. And I don't rinse that.

[Matt]

Yeah. Why, why do they. Why do they tell you to mouthwash last when you're not supposed to do that?

[Zane]

I don't know, because I feel like that's what it is. Like in the commercials. Yeah, I feel like mouthwash is always celebrated as like the final thing. The final thing before you go to bed or like start the day.

[Matt]

So, yeah, if you're listening, guys, mouthwash before you brush your teeth.

[Zane]

So you have good floss.

[Matt]

Mouthwash and then brush your teeth. Your teeth should be on your teeth.

[Zane]

Brush, floss, mouthwash.

[Heath]

Oh, you brush, then floss.

[Zane]

Y.

[Heath]

Interesting.

[Matt]

Oh, yeah, that's. I. Yeah, I used to.

[Zane]

I want the mouthwash to really get in from post flossing too because, like, also my mouthwash is like the gum therapy Listerine 1.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

Helped me so much. Like, I never bleed anymore since I've been using that. Yeah. But I don't know. But I know I need to switch it up.

[Mariah]

We have water flossers and I. I don't know if this is a universal thing. I thought I was brilliant for it, but instead of just like water, I do mouthwash and water.

[Matt]

Oh, I saw that on Tick Tock. People put mouth.

[Heath]

Oh, really?

[Matt]

Their flosser and they. And that's how they don't like, they'll make water and mouthwash together. They'll like mix it together.

[Heath]

Before we continue, we want to give a big thank you to our next sponsor of this podcast, Better Help.

[Matt]

This month, it's all about gratitude. Shout out. Heath, baby, I love you.

[Heath]

Hey, how you doing?

[Matt]

Along with the person I just shouted out, hey, Heath, what's up?

[Heath]

How you doing?

[Matt]

But there's also another person that we always forget to give a shout out to ourselves. It's sometimes hard to remind ourselves that we are trying our best to make sense of everything. And in this crazy world, this ain't easy.

[Heath]

Exactly. So here's a reminder to send some thanks to the people in your life, including yourself.

[Matt]

And that's when therapy comes in, baby. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule.

[Heath]

And it's so simple to get started. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist. And you could switch therapists at any time for no additional charge.

[Matt]

And guys, it's, it's so convenient, too. You could do it from the comfort of your own home, your own living room. You don't have to leave your house, get in your car, go all the way downtown, wherever your therapy session is, wait in a waiting room. Nobody wants to do that. And it's just nice to not talk to somebody that's your friend, your best friend, your sister, your brother, your grandparents, your parents. You want to talk to someone that. That's going to give you actual professional advice, and it's not going to, you know, give you biased advice.

[Heath]

Exactly. So let the gratitude flow with better help. All you have to do is visit betterhelp.com z today and you're going to get 10% off your first month.

[Matt]

Exactly. That's better help. H e l p.com Zane and Heath.

[Heath]

Thank you so much better help for sponsoring this podcast. We love you.

[Zane]

What about when you guys shampoo conditioner? When you put shampoo in, do you let shampoo sit or do you just like, it's in and you wash it right out.

[Matt]

You leave conditioner in. You don't let she leave shampoo in.

[Zane]

Shampoo is just like, clean it. That's how I normally do it. But then I was like, reading on my, like, shampoo bottle. It's like, let the shampoo sit for two minutes. And I'm like, I have been using this for a year. I never once.

[Matt]

I. When I was in middle school or high school, I forget.

[Heath]

Buster.

[Matt]

Thank you. I. There was, I think maybe four months where I, I didn't know this. I thought it was used as a shampoo. I was using only conditioner as my shampoo because I thought, that's just what you do. It works. I was like, oh, this shampoo makes your hair solid. But it was conditioner. And my mom found out and she was like, honey, you haven't used shampoo in form. I'm like, no, just conditioner and my hair, like, she couldn't believe it. But, like, my hair was probably so disgusting. Like, when you look at it through, I never got lice or anything. But, like, I was using conditioner for a long time.

[Heath]

I haven't used conditioner, I think in probably like seven years.

[Zane]

You just shampoo?

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zane]

No conditioner.

[Matt]

Well, I think you don't need it. Because your hair is so for the.

[Zane]

Hair and the conditioners for the scalp or shampoo for the scalp and for the hair clean.

[Heath]

So shampoo is like the soap cleaning portion. And then conditioner would be to like soften and detangle and.

[Zane]

Yeah, it's like the lotion moisture. Yeah. The hair.

[Heath]

But yeah, my hair is so, like fine and it just gets greasy easily. If I condition it immediately, it just feels like, Yeah.

[Mariah]

I have to use very little conditioner. I double shampoo.

[Heath]

Yes.

[Zane]

And then come again.

[Mariah]

Very little condition.

[Matt]

So you shampoo and then you wash out. And then you.

[Zane]

Or you make potions.

[Mariah]

Yeah.

[Matt]

She's getting.

[Mariah]

And I'm like, mariah, are you good?

[Zane]

Get out.

[Matt]

Mariah's definitely a rose water type lady. Right? You. You spray rose water that I know supposedly that helps your hair, like, grow. Rosemary. What did I say?

[Mariah]

You said rose.

[Matt]

Rose water. Rosemary, Rosemary.

[Heath]

Rose something.

[Mariah]

I use rosemary oil.

[Matt]

Rosemary. Yeah.

[Mariah]

I used main entail in high school and I swore by.

[Zane]

Oh, yeah, swore by.

[Mariah]

It was that horse shampoo.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Mariah]

I really. It really made my hair n. Now people will tell you, like, that's the worst thing you could use for your hair. My hair was gorgeous.

[Matt]

The ingredients list is just this long.

[Mariah]

I had the poof. Everything was just.

[Heath]

I remember thinking it was gonna make my hair grow longer. And this is when I wanted, like, my super long hair. So I was doing the mane and tail and I was rubbing it in. I'm like, grow, please. And I was just like, I needed.

[Matt]

Well, you wanted extra hair so you could, like, tease the top.

[Zane]

Did you ever almost do dreads? Did you ever consider it?

[Heath]

No, but, like, I would tease every day. So I would just have like, this whole, like, area of my head. I would back comb you. Karen is so I could have like, that height.

[Zane]

Yeah, that's a rock. Yeah.

[Matt]

That's crazy because I, like, wanted the opposite of that for my hair. I hated the height of my. Because it made my face like, long.

[Heath]

As I could never do any braids. Cuz like, I would pull all my hair back into a ponytail. My ponytail was like this. Like there was. It was so fine and thin that I just couldn't do anything.

[Zane]

I had such toxic friends, though, like in high school where it was like, it wasn't cool to even put gel in your hair anymore. Like, or even, you know, because in second grade it was all about having your little.

[Mariah]

Flat and then you just swoop.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

I was doing mousse for a bit, like in seventh grade. And then it was just like, don't put anything in your hair. And I was like, okay.

[Mariah]

Like if it moved when you moved your head, like that was it that little flip? Yeah, a hair flip.

[Matt]

That's so funny.

[Heath]

I think I have neck problems because how much I. I think it's like.

[Matt]

The sucking in for me, it's just a take now. Yep. You just can't help it.

[Heath]

I don't even think about it. I'm just, I'm flex.

[Matt]

Just constantly. Yeah, non stop. You know when you're doing like when you're planking.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

If you're just planking, it doesn't do anything. You have to flex your abs in order for the workout to.

[Zane]

Yes, absolutely.

[Matt]

So if you're constantly flexing, your muscles are constantly like engaged. Like you're, you're burning. You're not burning as much fat, but you're burning. You're still burning.

[Zane]

I'm always trying to get better about the mind to muscle. And like that is like a proven, like theory that like you have to actively be thinking about the muscle that you are working out while you're doing it.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

Target it. You have to be focused on it. And that increases so much more growth. Sometimes I'm just like, well, I'm just doing it to do it.

[Matt]

But it's like I wasn't doing that until my transformation. Once I started doing my transformation, they were telling me, you need to focus on that area. I'd focus and flex and then do it. And then like the workout was just 10 times better. I'd see results much quicker.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Mariah]

Some people don't have that. Some people can't have that mind muscle connection. Like working with a lot of dancers. I noticed, like kids, it, they can't comprehend it. It takes them like years to do it naturally. They can't understand, like thinking about that body part.

[Heath]

It's almost like learning how to wiggle your ears.

[Mariah]

Yeah.

[Heath]

You can't explain to somebody how to do it.

[Zane]

I can only do this.

[Heath]

You just have to like, camera.

[Matt]

Don't put it on me.

[Zane]

I just went like, like, I can do this side but I can't do this side.

[Heath]

Oh, that's.

[Matt]

Oh. Imagine if you still had your old ears, Matt. You'd be able to.

[Zane]

I think it was probably because of my ear surgery something and like, oh, yeah. Oh.

[Matt]

After clipping, he probably like lost.

[Zane]

Yeah. I can only do this when I can't.

[Matt]

I can't.

[Zane]

I'm trying to think about it. But wait, when you're doing yours at the same time, does it just feel like, you're.

[Matt]

Yeah. You look like you're about to fly.

[Zane]

Can you do one?

[Heath]

No, both.

[Mariah]

I think they cut one of your cords, Matt.

[Heath]

Maybe they did from there.

[Zane]

Yeah, I can see you moving them.

[Matt]

It, like, it moves way too much, Eve.

[Zane]

Yeah, a little too. So why have that?

[Heath]

I learned how to do it accidentally because I used to wear glasses in school, and when I would have my glasses on and I'd be getting, like, a little bit, like, sweaty or oily throughout the day, they would start slipping. They were, like, falling down my face. And I, like, push it up with your ears. I did, like, I would, like.

[Mariah]

You didn't want to do the whole.

[Heath]

Yeah, I would feel like kind of, like tightening to, like, hold it so they wouldn't slip. And then I realized I was, like, engaging this, and I was like, wow.

[Matt]

I want to wear glasses so bad. I would, like, take my friend's glasses that needed them and wear it just for, like, five minutes, just to look like.

[Heath]

I. I would stare at the TV on the static screen this close because I wanted glasses so bad.

[Zane]

Oh, yeah. You would do the eye exam with a little video game and you would just. You get a little.

[Matt]

You say the wrong letters.

[Zane]

I'm. I didn't see that. You miss them and just press it randomly just to get picked. Like, you would.

[Matt]

Crazy that we all. We wanted all these problems. Like, we wanted the problem.

[Zane]

I wanted braces so bad. A retainer signed me the up when.

[Mariah]

People had the design on the roof of their mouth.

[Zane]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. If a girl had a retainer, I thought she was. I thought she was, like, hot. Retainers were, like, attractive. Yeah, they look just cool, man, I.

[Matt]

Wanted to break my arm. So I had that cast. I. I wanted that color to fall.

[Zane]

Out of a tree.

[Matt]

Speaking of our old self, I. I just saw on my Tick Tock feed last night before I went to sleep, they're finally making a documentary about MySpace and they are having the MySpace famous people that, like, I used to see in Sawgrass. Sawgrass Mall. Like, yeah, Like, I saw a club. Hannah Beth, she's used to be a big scene MySpace girl that she posted a clip on her TikTok channel of her, like, sitting down, about to do a MySpace interview. I was like, oh, my God.

[Zane]

Wow, that's so sick.

[Matt]

Here, let me show you.

[Zane]

Pumped for that.

[Matt]

I immediately sent it. Sent it to my friends.

[Zane]

And is it going to be like, is it a broad MySpace documentary? Like an emo scene?

[Matt]

I think. I think. Well, MySpace was, like. It was the Scene era. Like, that's what. What MySpace was true. So they. They're sitting down. Hannah, Beth, and, bro, they have to get.

[Mariah]

Wait, that's really.

[Matt]

They have to get, like, drop dead. They have to get all these girls because they were MySpace. They were. They were MySpace.

[Zane]

Yeah, bro, I know.

[Matt]

They're gonna. They're gonna want to do pr, so we have to get one of them in this room.

[Zane]

Yeah, send us to the MySpace Premiere, too.

[Matt]

One of them. One of them.

[Mariah]

And you have to dress like this again.

[Matt]

She posted. Finally, a MySpace documentary is being filmed, and your fave scene queen is featured in it.

[Mariah]

Wow, that's really cool.

[Matt]

So everybody in the comments are like, okay, where's Audrey Kitching? Where is Kiki Cannibal? Like, all these, like, girls need to be in it.

[Zane]

Jeff Star will probably be in it too.

[Matt]

Oh, yeah. Because he was a big mystery.

[Zane]

That's where we started right around for so long.

[Matt]

But he was. He was MySpace. Yeah.

[Zane]

He was huge.

[Matt]

You know what? He's gonna do it, too. Yeah, he's 100. Yeah.

[Zane]

If they reach out and just like, yeah, yeah.

[Matt]

Oh, my God.

[Zane]

Oh, God.

[Matt]

I just wish I. I wish they could have me in it. I know. I was. I want to be MySpace.

[Zane]

Then they're like, all right, let's pull up the pics. You're like, cut. Cut the cameras. Like, you excited? And they're like, well, let's look back at these posts.

[Matt]

You're just like, no, send your MySpace page. I said, I only had, like, 800 followers.

[Zane]

I'm like, I hope they interview Tom, because I don't think I've ever seen a video of Tom speak or talk. We just know his picture and that he existed and sold it.

[Heath]

But, like, he literally just travels the world and just takes. He has, like. He's, like, super into photography and.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Takes pictures and made a couple hundred million.

[Matt]

Wait, can't they have me on as somebody that was watching it?

[Heath]

As a fan, as a viewer.

[Matt]

As a viewer. Because I wanted to be it so bad. But, like, I. Right. I would suck on the interview. But, like, I feel like I could give in some sort of insight on it. Like, I was. No, I was one of those wannabe. I really wanted to be famous on my space because they might use this.

[Zane]

Clip in it, too. Like, guys, remember MySpace?

[Heath]

What?

[Matt]

Oh, let me do it again. Because they might put a clip, because. Yeah, no. God.

[Zane]

We've also have talked about MySpace, like, in past episodes.

[Matt]

No, I know. So they'll take that.

[Zane]

Take it, please, guys.

[Matt]

Oh, my God, that's so sick. I really hope they, like finish it and complete it and like, it's good and they put it out. That's really sick.

[Zane]

Tom. Tom Anderson.

[Matt]

How is he doing, you think? He's so loaded.

[Zane]

Definitely.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zane]

I feel like he made like $600 million off of it.

[Heath]

Wow. He's 54 years old now, Zane.

[Mariah]

He was your age.

[Matt]

Oh, wow.

[Mariah]

He was your age when he.

[Zane]

Is this.

[Mariah]

When he started it. That's the famous picture.

[Matt]

Imagine me making a whole website.

[Zane]

Everybody. Zane coding a website. He's locked in.

[Mariah]

I can't believe how good we all were at coding.

[Matt]

Yeah, I was. I was all right a little bit like the.

[Zane]

We knew. We knew the fundamentals of HTML.

[Mariah]

I cannot believe I could not hop on a computer and do that now. There's no way. But I. It was like second nature.

[Matt]

But I was able to make my page look exactly the way I want it through coding. Yeah, I can't do that anymore.

[Heath]

I remember like one of my buddies in school, he did like kind of like try to help me make one, but I could never like log into it ever in like my house. So it was just like.

[Mariah]

Yeah.

[Heath]

When I would go to his house, he would like.

[Mariah]

I was the same.

[Zane]

I remember your page was your computer in your house. Like in the like living room where everybody could. In the middle of everything, what you're doing. You never. I never had Internet access in my bedroom room. I had a computer in my bedroom, but I could only play like computer games on it. But I couldn't.

[Matt]

Keith, you had a whole like, you look like you had a gamer, like, section, like, I feel like your computer in the living room.

[Heath]

When you would walk into my house, you would walk into the living room and there was like the couch, a chair, and then the TV and then like the patio to like go outside. And then to the right was what they call it the family room, Den 1. It's like separate living room.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Heath]

That had the kind of corner house right now a computer. And then I had like a really big TV in that room and then like another couch and that's where like the Xbox was. So it was like video game kind.

[Matt]

Of area with your big ass aquarium lighting up.

[Mariah]

Yeah, yeah.

[Heath]

So that was.

[Mariah]

We called it a computer room.

[Heath]

I didn't even have a TV in my room.

[Mariah]

No, I was not allowed.

[Matt]

I was always so scared to go on my computer because my stepdad was a FBI agent. So in my head was like, oh, he can see. It doesn't matter if I'm on he private. I feel like he can see anything but in the end of the day I'm like, was he like caring to even like check to see the like the weird that was going on on the computer and yeah. Because I was into some questionable my Tumblr days. Oh my God. He would have put me into in a mental hospital if he saw what I was like reblogging on Tumblr.

[Heath]

Did you really like it or you were like.

[Matt]

I was. I was intrigued in it. But like it's. If I had a son that was reblogging that you were. Yeah, I would be. I would be concerned. 100 I'd be concerned.

[Zane]

Were you just never not naughty things are just really dark.

[Matt]

No, no, no. It wasn't naughty things. It was more like again we talked about this like horse.

[Zane]

Oh yeah.

[Matt]

But like it would be like a. But like some gory stuff but like again like people like it's just. But then again as like as a parent, I don't think I'd ever want to be searching through my kids history and seeing what they're doing. Like, you know, it's like I don't want to see it. Yeah.

[Zane]

That your kid has good judgment because.

[Matt]

You know, I'm not like insane now but like I just.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And I like horror movies.

[Heath]

It floated.

[Matt]

Morphed into it. Yeah.

[Heath]

Where you are now.

[Matt]

Exactly.

[Heath]

That makes sense. Before we continue, we want to give a big thank you to our next sponsor of this podcast, Prize Picks.

[Matt]

And if you live under a rock and you don't know what Price Fix is, it's the best place to get real money sports action. With over 10 million members and billions of dollars in awarded winners, Prizepix has made daily fantasy sports accessible to all. You just pick more or less on at least two players for a shot to win up to 100 times your cash. Run your game all season long on.

[Heath]

Price Picks and you can now win up to 100 times your money on Prize Picks with as little as four correct picks. Prizepix is the best way to get action on sports in over 30 states, including California, Florida, Georgia and Texas.

[Matt]

And Price Picks is the only real money daily fantasy platform with an injury insurance policy so that your lineups stay in place play even if one of your players gets injured. If your player leaves in the first half and doesn't return prizes keeps your lineup live.

[Heath]

And Prize Picks invented the Flex Play, which means you can still cash out. If your lineup isn't perfect, you can double your money even if one or more of your picks doesn't hit exactly.

[Matt]

They put their members first. So all withdrawals are fast, safe and secure. When my pick hits, I can get my money in as quick as 15 minutes.

[Heath]

And my favorite part is that they now offer Venmo for quick and easy deposits and withdrawals into your account this sports season season.

[Matt]

And Price picks offers weekly promotions that can lead to big payouts like Taco Tuesday. Each Tuesday, Price Picks discounts selected players projections up to 25 to provide even more of a value for your lineups.

[Heath]

And my favorite part about prize picks is that I don't need to be super invested and involved with who's doing what. For me, as somebody who only has a limited amount of time to be able to like, look into this stuff, it makes me feel more confident in the selections that I'm making.

[Matt]

You see, I'm not a big sports guy, so having price weeks involved just makes it a little bit more fun to really enjoy the game with all your friends.

[Heath]

Exactly. So if you're ready to get in on the action, download the app today and use code unfiltered and you're gonna get 50 instantly when you play your first five dollar lineup.

[Matt]

Again, download the app and use code unfiltered to get 50 instantly after you play your first five dollar lineup.

[Heath]

Prize picks, baby. Run your game. Thank you so much, Prize Picks, for sponsoring this podcast. We love you.

[Matt]

Oh, guys. Dan, Danielle just had a. Danielle's been selling a lot of like, stuff, just like her clothes and stuff. Because she has a ton of clothes.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And they just had a garage sale at a friend's house.

[Mariah]

I went, were you there with. I bought five things.

[Matt]

Were you there when the whole like underwear man came?

[Zane]

What?

[Matt]

Okay, so. Oh, no, they were there and a dude like shows up like this like 30 year old dude and he was looking around, he's like, hey, do you guys, do you guys have like any underwear? And they're like, oh, yeah. Well, we have like some right here. Like, you know, girls will get PR packages. And he's, he's going through it and they're all like new. And he's like, do you guys, you guys have like any used underwear?

[Heath]

No. No way.

[Matt]

And. And all the girls were like, oh my God. Like, they couldn't believe it. It was like kind of shocking.

[Mariah]

Oh my gosh.

[Matt]

And you, you know, some of, some of the girls were like, some of the girls were like, that were. Didn't care. Like they weren't like girls up, but they were just more like, oh, let's Take advantage of this guy. Like, oh, yeah, these are used. But they were like news. But like, oh, yeah, these are used.

[Zane]

He's like, oh, God.

[Matt]

But no, am I.

[Heath]

Like, when she told me that story.

[Matt]

I was like, okay. A part of me that felt like it wasn't. It wasn't him that was like a freak. It was more like he's taking advantage of. Maybe he has some sort of sight where it's. He's posing as a girl, but he's using that site to almost like. Yeah, like, imagine he's running an only fans site or something like that. Like a girl's only fan site. Maybe she's a real girl, but maybe he like, runs it. So maybe he takes that underwear and he poses that as it's her underwear. But he's like, it's. Do you know what I mean?

[Zane]

Yeah, I guess. So.

[Matt]

Like, more like he's not a. Like, he could be. But like, I was thinking business, like, to this guy. Like, he. Why would you show up? Like, no, I think I was 100.

[Heath]

He was being a creep.

[Matt]

If I was into that, I wouldn't, like, show up to a garage with a bunch of people around asking for that. Like, it's kind of crazy.

[Mariah]

Those people are sick.

[Matt]

I know.

[Heath]

They're so, like, they're so weird that, like, they don't. They don't care what you think about. They're just like, where's the used underwear that like, he wanted what he wanted.

[Matt]

I know, look, but like. But there's a chance that it could. He could be just looking at. As a way to make money.

[Heath]

The way I see it, though, if he was running somebody's only fans, he would just be like, hey, give me a bunch of your underwear. I'm gonna sell them and make money for it.

[Mariah]

Because he wouldn't want to sound like a creep. He'd be like, it's not for me, trust me.

[Matt]

No, he. No, he wasn't making it sound like it wasn't for him. Him when he was. Again, that's what.

[Mariah]

That's why I think he's a creep. I think otherwise, like, I'd be like, I don't want these people to think I'm weird. I'm just going to say this.

[Zane]

I wonder how much, like, used underwear. Like, what's the market value on like a used.

[Mariah]

I'm not going.

[Zane]

I'm like, is it. Is it so expensive where he was hoping to get some, like, just a cheap fix on it? Like, I don't know, like, guy, guy.

[Matt]

Like, the Thing is that the panty. I know, I know, I know some people that are running like only fans people are paying a lot of money for different like things that girls are selling on.

[Heath]

Have you guys been on like you guys go on like Facebook Marketplace?

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Have you seen any like things for sale that are clearly not trying to sell what the item is?

[Zane]

Give me an example.

[Mariah]

Like a half naked guy in the mirror like selling this mirror and he's.

[Heath]

Like search for like mid century like mirrors and it'll be like a guy taking a picture of the mirror and it's like underwear like this in the mirror and it'll be like mirror for sale. But it's like clearly like selling himself.

[Zane]

And clearly you're not. No one's wants to buy that mirror with that type of picture being taken.

[Matt]

Also you're saying they're using that picture as a way to sell.

[Mariah]

Cuz the description has nothing to do with the mirror too.

[Zane]

Cuz you know, someone sees it, they're turned on, they're going to DM him and then they start opening up the door to wood.

[Matt]

The mirror is big as hell but like in the description, six inch.

[Mariah]

Yeah, right.

[Matt]

It's like what is.

[Zane]

What is hard and sturdy mirror like rock solid. Go willing to.

[Matt]

Whenever, any time, any time. Can, can, can deliver this mirror between 3am to 6. Imagine I really like the M. I'm like 3am to 6am sure. Yeah, sure. Three. Okay.

[Heath]

I could be there.

[Zane]

Cool. Come inside. You're like, where is it? You're like, you look at the mirror like this looks great. You see, you look at yourself in the reflection. He's standing right behind you. You, you're like oh I.

[Matt]

And yeah.

[Heath]

There's so many things like that on Facebook.

[Zane]

Definitely.

[Matt]

It's so funny like how there's so many girls that would just like take advantage of that creepiness. Like oh you're gross. But like you know I'm gonna make some money off your creepiness.

[Heath]

That is weird to like be that bold and upfront to ask for that. No, no, no. These are new. I want the used ones. Where's the ones that you've been wearing?

[Matt]

If I was him just. Or like now that I'm thinking about it. Yeah, no, he's definitely like a creep. But if I was, if I was like buying it to do some sort of service on the side like that I would just get two underwear. I would just scrape it up a little bit.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Or maybe just a wear for a couple.

[Zane]

Get some, just get some like where's the vintage underwear. Because like, vintage has to be used. Like, I think.

[Matt]

Oh, that's a better way to put it.

[Zane]

Like vintage underwear for like a vintage, like second hand. Second hand me down.

[Matt]

Piece of pan.

[Zane]

Just used underwear. I think is.

[Matt]

You really. You really are sick and disgusting. Speaking of that, I have a really gross story. Oh my God, this is really gross. But whatever. Matt and I, we went to a. We went to a. Went to some like hayride type place.

[Zane]

Yeah. Knights of the Jackets.

[Matt]

Yeah, yeah. We went to a pumpkin festival in like Calabasas for a little bit. Oh, you remember we had to leave for that on like one of the episodes. Episodes. We were there and we were like. We got there early, right? Like, there wasn't like much people there. There's maybe a total of like 150, 200 people there. But it's like a kind of a wide spot and I needed to. Or I was walking around and all of a sudden I. I like. I farted and I was like, okay. I was like, oh my God. Oh, I gotta. I gotta go to the bathroom. I was like. It just. It felt like, like it felt like it was. It was a little bit more than.

[Zane]

A little bit more serious.

[Matt]

A little bit more serious. Yeah. So I'm. I am stroll. I go to the Porta Potty. Right? And it's like a whole port. Porta Potty section, but there's an area where you can see the whole festival. And that's how you go into like the section of the Porta Potty. Almost like a locker room. Like in the locker room, they're all like facing each other. And then there's a. I'm in the porter. This is in Heath. This is insane. I was in the Porta Potty. I close it and I lock it. Right?

[Heath]

Right.

[Matt]

And I. I take a quick whiz and then I. And I need to like, wipe because I didn't know if it was like, serious or not. So I. I pull my pants down, right? So I. So I walk in, I. This is the door, right? I walk in, I close it like this, right? I'm standing right in front of it. There's not much space in there as the door, right?

[Heath]

Okay.

[Matt]

I grab toilet paper and I pull my pants on like this, right? All the way down and I bend over like this. So right now I am bare ass. My jeans are like around my ankle.

[Heath]

And you're mid wiper.

[Matt]

I'm wiping. I don't even notice it, but the door has swung open. I have not noticed it Chill, chill. And I am like this. And I feel air. I'm like, oh, my God. And the entire. The festival, there's no way. But nobody was there. Nobody. Like, there was no human inside sight. No human in sight. And I immediately, I scream and I. And it's really hard to close because it's swung open, right? So I have to, like, go outside, reach out.

[Mariah]

That is mortifying.

[Matt]

I. Mariah, I couldn't believe that nobody saw this, but imagine somebody was me to the grave.

[Zane]

Yeah. You would have scarred someone's mind for the rest of their life.

[Matt]

No, Matt, I. Because we, we did it. We did a little, like, a brand deal there. I, I, I, Matt, I would have called him, but, like, I am so sorry. I have to leave right now. Like, screw it. Like, I'm not doing it anymore. I have to go. Like, I, I know, because words gonna spread.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Matt]

There's not much people there. Words gonna spread. And then, like, I'm gonna be around, like, in 30 minutes. 30 minutes. And people are gonna be. People are gonna start looking at me. And even whether they're looking at me for that reason or not, I'm gonna. I'm gonna have a panic attack.

[Zane]

You need to leave.

[Mariah]

You should leave.

[Matt]

And no, I. But I got so lucky and I finished and I walked out and, like, I, I couldn't wait. Matt was just a round of, like, Matt was around, like, eight other people. So I didn't want to say yet, but the whole time I was like, I have to tell Matt what just happened because this is insane. Or I just wish. Like, I just wished. I wish because it was. Because it was such an insane. A view of. Yeah, just ass paper.

[Zane]

Got it.

[Matt]

It was absolutely insane.

[Mariah]

That was like the other day when Zayn went to the bathroom when you thought he was in there.

[Heath]

Wait, when. When we were at Disney and I thought you were in the bathroom. So I. Oh, yeah. Zane went to go to the bathroom. And I was, like, looking around. I didn't know where he went. So I ended up going into the bathroom too, because I had to go real quick. But I didn't see him in there, like, at any of the urinals. So I walked in and I went to go. And I just hear in from the stall. I'm like, oh, he must be in the stall.

[Zane]

So I heard, yeah, that same.

[Heath]

And I was like, damn. I was like, get it?

[Matt]

But didn't you say that you called my name first?

[Heath]

I walked in, I was like, zane. And I didn't hear anything. So I was like, oh, maybe you just didn't hear me. So he. I just hear, like, blowing up the bathroom. I'm like, oh, get it. Get it. And every time it was like, bop.

[Mariah]

I was like, he's, like, hyping this.

[Heath]

Person up, and it was just, like, going off. And every single sound that was made, I was like, okay. I go. I'm like, okay. And then I am washing my hands, and somebody else walked out of the stall. And I was just. I was more.

[Matt]

I was.

[Heath]

I was egging this dude on with his poop, and it was not Zayn. The entire.

[Matt]

And I finally meet up with him. They're like, zayn, were you in the bathroom at all? I was like, or. Or. He was like, did you hear me when I called your name? I was like, no. And. And they all just. They all look at each other, and I'm like, what happened? I couldn't believe it.

[Heath]

Somebody's doing that to you, and you're just.

[Matt]

You're just like.

[Zane]

You're trying to find the salt. I would just be like, please leave.

[Matt]

Okay. But, man, when I was in the bathroom, though, it was me and, like, me and this other person. I was about to say person, but definitely a dude. Like, we're both, like, sitting. We're both sitting on the toilet next to each other in the stall, and they're just so small.

[Mariah]

You're right, man.

[Matt]

I'm. I'm just sitting there and, like, I know. We're both trying to be quiet. We're both trying to be quiet. It's the most awkward thing in us. We're both on the same.

[Zane]

We get it.

[Mariah]

You're, like, waiting for the other person to flush so you can just go.

[Zane]

And then go while it's flushing just to, like.

[Heath]

You have to.

[Matt]

I wish there was just, like, signals.

[Zane]

Yeah. Or just elevator music.

[Heath]

You do the. The water blanket cradle, right?

[Zane]

I do not.

[Heath]

That's crazy.

[Zane]

I do not. I think it depends on the toilet. What do you mean?

[Heath]

Like, I put a layer down on the water to prevent splashback.

[Zane]

Oh, I don't. I guess I don't.

[Mariah]

There should be music blasting in all bathrooms.

[Zane]

We should.

[Matt]

Really loud.

[Mariah]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Yeah, I agree.

[Heath]

Yeah, it's just like, a really intense drum beat.

[Matt]

Because I. I think when, like, the quieter it is, the more, like. Like, the more anxiety you have of, like, just, like, sitting there, trying to get.

[Zane]

Relieve yourself yourself, like, and you want to feel safe and, like, I don't like being in a state of alertness while I'm trying to relax.

[Matt]

And I feel like that make people go quicker too. Like, the flow would be faster, like when it comes. Like. Speaking of signaling, though, like, I was thinking about this while driving yesterday. Like, someone cut somebody else off. And you never know if that. Like if somebody does something on the road accidentally or on purpose. Why isn't there something on every car Car where it's like a light thing? Like a sorry light, Like. Yeah, hey, my bad. Because immediately you think they're. When they do something when, like, it could be genuinely an accident.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Matt]

So my head. I was like, just imagine just like a little like a sorry blink on every vehicle.

[Zane]

Japan like, to say thank you for like letting in people in a lane. They just hit their emergency lights just once. So it just like flashes as like a. Oh, really?

[Mariah]

Yeah, I just hit my brakes twice. I go, thank you.

[Matt]

Oh, you hit my light.

[Heath]

You tap your brake lights so they.

[Matt]

Oh, your brake light.

[Heath]

Oh, I do window down. And then I go like this.

[Matt]

Imagine cutting someone off and then you break twice. Like, you're okay.

[Heath]

Just nasty.

[Zane]

Do you hear about the guy who has this, like, new business where you can hire him to come to your work and give an anonymous complaint to your boss and he can just like, cuss them out. Wait, so hire this dude. Like, say you're at work and, like, you just hate your fucking boss.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

So you, you. You just want them to get. You want your boss to get yelled at by somebody? Okay, so you pay this guy who shows up in a clipboard and whatever, and he goes, who's the boss here? Where. Where is Jenny? I need to talk to Jenny. And Jenny's like. And I see he goes, yeah, Jenny, heard you been treating your employees pretty bad. You've been giving them some really hours, and how about this stuff? And they'll just like, start cursing the person out.

[Matt]

Wait, that's genius.

[Zane]

Genius, brilliant.

[Matt]

The managers in front of everybody.

[Zane]

You, per your own request of what.

[Heath]

You want, have them say whatever you want.

[Zane]

Have them say whatever you want job.

[Matt]

For that person to do, because he'll never be in there again. And it's just something you go in, you're not gonna see anybody.

[Zane]

Like, and it's anonymous complaint. No one knows that it came from you. Hopefully not, but you could get all your employees together and, like, chip in and pay for this guy to come in and just out your boss.

[Matt]

Wow.

[Zane]

I mean, that takes some balls as, like a career because you're going in somewhere looking for the most important person and just ranting at them on, like a whim. But yeah, it's Kind of this genius business.

[Matt]

Yeah. It's just. You just need to be confident. I feel like if you're confident about it, you can walk in anywhere and really cause a scene.

[Zane]

Yeah. I was just saying that's crazy, brilliant business.

[Matt]

I think that's a great thing to do if the boss, like, is really bad. Like, he's just terrible to their employees.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

Hopefully they.

[Matt]

I love that.

[Zane]

Yeah, I'm all for it.

[Heath]

It would be very satisfying if you were the one that paid for it. And you're like, you. You have it done at a time when you're at work and you can watch the whole thing happen. Like, the satisfaction of seeing the guy walk in and you're like, here it is.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Zane]

You're just, like, looking over your cubicle, being like, oh, you're.

[Matt]

And you're also gonna assume, like, if I was a boss in my head was like, who's not at work today? That's who did it. Oh, so you want to, you want to do it when you're like, working?

[Zane]

I want to get my money's worth. I want to see it happen in person.

[Heath]

You're just sitting there recording or you.

[Matt]

Know what I would do? I would call in, call it in, have them do it. And like, hours before, I would go to my boss and be like, hey, I just want to let you know, like, you've been doing so good. You've been doing a really good job with it. Let them know that, like, oh, I'm. I'm on your good side.

[Zane]

I would never, I would never do something like that to you.

[Matt]

So when he does want to make positive changes, he's going to make a positive, the biggest positive change to you first because you were being nice the whole time.

[Zane]

I'm so curious on how, like, the whole, like, gig goes down because I wouldn't want the boss to cross the thought of being like, who hired this person? This is a bit. Somebody did this.

[Heath]

Yeah. You want it to seem real.

[Zane]

I want it, yeah. To seem real. Where they're honestly freaked out by it in a weird way. Not, like, legally, but, like, I need to get my shit together. I don't know who.

[Matt]

Do you think the whole, like, clipboard action is like a little two stage.

[Zane]

Like, I think it shows a sense of, like, authority and I'm here to check up on things and you're not running it properly.

[Mariah]

I. I saw some people go to restaurants with like a clip board to pretend like they're like a food critic or treated a little extra special.

[Heath]

Meanwhile, they have no power or they.

[Matt]

Just even, like, coming as a customer, too. Like, you hire someone that comes in as a customer, and then you're like, by the way, I heard that you. They either heard or read or something where they're like, a customer getting food. But also, like, I want to tell you this real quick because I've heard the. That's been going on here.

[Heath]

Yeah. In your hand is such a. Oh, yeah.

[Zane]

Go in places and just don't say anything. Just look around.

[Matt]

That's. Oh, that's good.

[Zane]

People freak out over it. You're just like, none of your business. You just start counting things and just going. Employees.

[Heath]

Do we have working here right now?

[Zane]

Yeah, yeah. You're looking at the clock. You're, like, nodding and going or pulling.

[Matt]

Employees to the side. Like, just, like, really quick as the boss is there, he could see it, but he's far away now, and you're just like, yeah.

[Zane]

You come in like a teacher. Like, who's there to, like, monitor?

[Matt]

I'd be pretty freaked out as a boss because, like, you really don't know Matt.

[Mariah]

Now, what is this that we're working.

[Heath]

On that would be really fun.

[Zane]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt]

You know, I'm just gonna do it for free.

[Zane]

That's why I always. What I.

[Mariah]

It's your birthday.

[Zane]

Wish I could be a process server serving papers to somebody. Would love to go do that.

[Matt]

Oh, like. Like a lawsuit.

[Zane]

Like, you know, like Seth Rogen and Pineapple Express, where he just, like, will put on, you know, scrubs and walk into a hospital and be like, Dr. So and so.

[Matt]

You've been served.

[Zane]

Yeah. Like, you think you can do that? Blend in? I just love the idea of putting in on a uniform, going in somewhere, trying to find a person and confirming their identity and just being like, you've been served. Like, that is kind of.

[Matt]

It's crazy that they have to go to those lengths to serve people. They can't just be like, look, we've, like, they can't prove that they've been trying to avoid them.

[Heath]

Right.

[Matt]

You have to, like, it's impossible to try to prove that. So you have to, like, do it in person with your own eyes and service.

[Zane]

Who was the celebrity? Oh, it was Olivia Wilde. She got served her papers at, like, a panel Q and A. Olivia Wild. She's like, yes. And she goes, you've been served. And she gets no.

[Heath]

Like, yeah, okay.

[Zane]

What.

[Heath]

What would you like to ask?

[Zane]

Well, I got this for you. Me and my daughter, we made it. It's just this. You've Been served peace.

[Matt]

I think in order to do that, though, you really, like, don't do that as your first option. Really attempt to do it, like, privately. And if they're like, if you as a person that's serving, can tell that they're avoiding you, then you have to, like, go all the way in.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Heath]

I think also, like, the severity of whatever you're being served.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Can. Can kind of justify the rudeness of how you do it.

[Matt]

And also they. They're. I don't think they're doing it because some, like the person that is trying to sue them, I don't think they tell them to do it. I think they. They choose how to do it.

[Heath]

They're like their own discretion.

[Matt]

Yeah. I don't think you even.

[Zane]

I'm also so curious, like, do they get. Do they get paid by getting the service done? Like, if you tried three times, you're still not getting paid until it happens, I think. Or do you log in?

[Matt]

They all. I think the firm. The firm charges hourly for just all the work that they're doing. They either. It's depending on like the sal. Like hourly or whatever. They're.

[Zane]

You must like it, I guess if it's. They're not.

[Matt]

They're getting paid a lot, so they're gonna do it.

[Zane]

They're a process server. I think that's the name of the title of the job.

[Matt]

But I think it's part of the firm, though. Like, I don't think it's like a freelancer.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zane]

All right.

[Heath]

I think we're good.

[Zane]

Good.

[Matt]

Wow.

[Zane]

We did it. We did it.

[Heath]

All right, well, happy birthday again.

[Matt]

Thank you. Thank you, everybody. My name Raven.

[Heath]

Thank you, guys. Make sure to check out our Patreon. Patreon.com Zayn and Heath. We keep these cameras rolling. You get an extended cut of every single episode. You also get early access to these episodes and ad free. We do a bonus episode every month. We do a live Q and a every single month. Again, patreon.com Zane and Heath, if you want to check it out and we'll see you guys there.

[Matt]

We have a peanut butter powder company too, the flavored PB co.com they have so many amazing flavors. My favorite is cookies and cream and fudgy brownie. There are so many different ways you can make it with the amount of water that you put with it. It's just water and the mix. You mix it together and it is delicious. I just had it last night. Oh, my God, I ate so much, which it gave me a tummy tummy ache. But, baby, it was only, like, 350 calories with how much? I ate a whole giant bowl. It's the. It's the best.

[Heath]

It's so good, and it's so much healthier than traditional peanut butter. It's less fat, less calories, and it really curbs that sweet tooth. You get that fix, and it's just. It's amazing. You could dip fruit in it. You can just eat it plain. You could put it in yogurt however you want. Again, the flavored pbco.com check it out. It's unbelievable.

[Matt]

We also post these episodes every Monday, audio formal on all the podcast platforms. And every Tuesday, we post a video form on YouTube. Com zanendheath.

[Heath]

All right, guys, unwinders. We'll see you in a second. And we love you.

[Matt]

Peace. Peace and blessings. Bow. Bye.