S5 Ep63: Michael Jordan Changed His Life - UNFILTERED 265

Summary

Zane and Heath: Unfiltered – S5 Ep63: Michael Jordan Changed His Life - UNFILTERED 265

Release Date: January 6, 2025

Hosts: Zane Hijazi and Heath Hussar

---

Introduction to Pirates and Pop Culture

The episode kicks off with a lively discussion about pirates and their portrayal in popular media, particularly focusing on the "Pirates of the Caribbean" franchise. Zane and Heath delve into the intricacies of pirate lore versus cinematic representations.

• Pirate Movie Analysis:

  • Zane critiques the second and third installments of the "Pirates of the Caribbean" series, stating, "But the second one, third one, it's like the World's End and all the cracking and all this shit. It makes no sense." [01:31]
  • Heath praises the original film, remarking, "Like, deserves an Oscar. It's just such a well done, just well done plot." [01:46]

• Historical vs. Fictional Pirates:

  • The hosts compare historical pirate practices with those depicted on screen, questioning the realism of characters like Captain Hook and discussing the origins of terms like the "poop deck."
  • Zane humorously muses, "Why was it called the poop deck?" [03:50], leading to an exploration of nautical terminology.

Talking Birds and Their Role in Media

Transitioning from pirates, Zane and Heath explore the fascinating topic of talking birds, their representation in films, and their real-life counterparts.

• Toucans and Ravens:

  • Zane shares insights about toucans, highlighting their predatory nature and discussing their depiction in commercials, such as Froot Loops [08:37].
  • The conversation shifts to ravens, with Matt noting, "Ravens were probably what you think as modern day ghosts because they were repeating things." [08:21]

• Parrots in Pop Culture:

  • The hosts ponder whether historical figures might have perceived talking parrots as supernatural beings, tying it back to modern portrayals in shows like "The Goonies."

Modern Media and Lifestyle Observations

The discussion broadens to include observations about modern media consumption and lifestyle trends.

• Streaming and Advertising:
  • Heath expresses frustration with repetitive ads, stating, "I just wish there was more different. I feel like I'm seeing the same exact, exact products, though." [10:51]
  • Zane and Heath debate the effectiveness of targeted advertising and the rise of social shopping platforms like TikTok Shop.

Reflections on Death and Funeral Practices

A significant portion of the episode delves into personal reflections on death, funerals, and the handling of digital legacies.

• Funeral Planning:

  • Zane shares his wishes for a personalized funeral, saying, "I would have my brother and my brother just MC the whole thing." [35:02]
  • The hosts humorously discuss unconventional funeral requests, such as having a DJ set in the casket or incorporating technology like QR codes to relay messages [36:12].

• Handling Digital Footprints:

  • The conversation touches on the complexities of managing digital data post-mortem, with Heath contemplating, "If nobody buys it, then I'll go away. They have to sell it to an American." [12:53]

Real Estate and Celebrities

The hosts shift focus to real estate, particularly analyzing celebrity homes and the concept of McMansions.

• Michael Jordan’s Mansion:

  • A notable segment explores the sale of Michael Jordan’s mansion, with Zane commenting, "The house just looks like one of those McMansion builds where it's like, who signed off on this?" [43:30]

• McMansions vs. True Mansions:

  • The trio critiques McMansions for their lack of cohesive design, with Jordan stating, "Nothing's there. It's just big room, another big room." [46:31]
  • Heath suggests renovations to add authentic features, advocating for real architectural elements over superficial additions.

Home Features and Design Preferences

Continuing with real estate, Zane and Heath discuss various home design elements and personal preferences.

• Secret Doors and Unique Features:
  • Jordan expresses fascination with secret doors and hidden rooms, saying, "I love secret doors that go to rooms that you don't know they're there." [49:47]
  • The hosts debate the practicality and aesthetics of design features like pocket doors and sunken living rooms, with Heath humorously imagining, "Have my rigor mortis corpse, like, dancing." [36:25]

Travel and Personal Anecdotes

The conversation then shifts to travel experiences and humorous anecdotes related to airport and plane etiquette.

• Airport Etiquette:

  • Matt recounts a comical incident where a passenger refused to move from their seat during the snack service, leading the flight attendant to enforce seating rules strictly [61:35].

• Nostalgia for Traditional Travel:

  • Jordan reminisces about the old days of traveling, longing for personal interactions at airport gates, contrasting them with the impersonal nature of modern travel [60:27].

Final Reflections and New Year Resolutions

As the episode winds down, the hosts share their personal goals and reflections for the upcoming year.

• Health and Fitness Goals:

  • Zane mentions his aim to improve flexibility, stating, "I'm gonna stretch." [64:55]
  • Heath humorously sets a goal to grow his nails longer for practical purposes, like scratching [64:45].

• Community and Success:

  • The hosts express optimism for 2025, emphasizing community involvement and personal growth, with Heath declaring, "We're gonna be thriving. We're gonna be men. We're gonna, we're gonna eat good." [64:08]

---

Notable Quotes:

• Heath on Pirate Regulations:

  "I think they're putting their. Why don't they show that in the movies?" [04:19]

• Zane on Funeral Respect:

  "I would like to have my family make a little bit more extra money on me." [24:36]

• Jordan on Secret Doors:

  "I love secret doors that go to rooms that you don't know they're there." [49:47]

• Matt on Funeral Planning:

  "There's gonna be an Amazon link on my casket of all my clothing." [31:06]

---

Conclusion

"S5 Ep63: Michael Jordan Changed His Life" weaves through a tapestry of humorous and insightful conversations ranging from pirates and talking birds to the intricacies of modern funerals and real estate. Zane and Heath, along with their co-hosts, blend personal anecdotes with pop culture references, delivering an engaging and entertaining episode filled with laughter and thoughtful reflections.

For listeners seeking a blend of raw humor and candid discussions on a variety of topics, this episode of Zane and Heath: Unfiltered offers a delightful start to the week.

Transcript

[Zane]

Step into the world of power, loyalty and luck.

[Heath]

I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse.

[Zane]

With family. Cannolis and spins mean everything.

[Heath]

Now you want to get mixed up in the family business?

[Zane]

Introducing the [e-mail] test your luck in the shadowy world of the Godfather slots. Someday I will call upon you to do a service for me. Play the Godfather [e-mail].

[Heath]

Welcome to the family. No purchase necessary. VGW group Void where prohibited by law. 18/ Terms and Conditions apply.

[Zane]

I've been to. What's it? Well, Aruba's part of the ABC Islands, right?

[Heath]

The ABC Islands.

[Zane]

Aruba, Bonaire and Curacao. I've been to Bonaire. All right.

[Heath]

Our little exotic king.

[Zane]

Yeah, Bonaire. Or is it Bermuda? Wait, Bonaire?

[Jordan]

No, Bermuda.

[Zane]

But I thought Bonaire is part of the abc. Maybe it is Bermuda. Or Barbados. Where's Barbados? I always remember Dunstan checks in. That's where like, they were gonna move.

[Heath]

I thought that was like a pirate fiction.

[Matt]

Caribbean.

[Zane]

It's not an island.

[Heath]

I don't think. Barbados.

[Zane]

No, it's okay. That's the abc. But no, it's Captain Barbosa. That was not right.

[Heath]

Me and you.

[Zane]

You are about the worst pirate I've ever heard of. But you have heard of me.

[Jordan]

Such a good line.

[Heath]

But you have heard of me.

[Zane]

Captain Jackson.

[Heath]

That's literally me, though. Like the worst. But you've heard of me.

[Zane]

Yeah, Pirates of the Caribbean. First one, amazing. Second and third. I've yet to ever meet someone who can tell me what exactly is going on.

[Heath]

Like, deserves an Oscar. It's just such a well done, just well done plot. It's the curse of the thing.

[Zane]

I get what's going on.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zane]

But the second one, third one, it's like the World's End and all the cracking and all this shit. It makes no sense.

[Heath]

That did deserve. It did deserve a whole series. Like, imagine a whole show revolved around that.

[Zane]

HBO and Kira Knightley.

[Jordan]

K. I saw somebody say that it's the Caribbean Islands, but it has to be Pirates of the Caribbean.

[Zane]

Oh, in terms of pronunciation, yes.

[Jordan]

Couldn't be Pirates of the Caribbean. It's just like, we're talking about.

[Zane]

Yeah, just Pirates.

[Jordan]

Pirates of the Caribbean.

[Zane]

What do I say? Are you guys going. Are you going to the Caribbean or Caribbean Islands?

[Jordan]

It's the Caribbean.

[Heath]

Did you read that somewhere?

[Jordan]

I saw like a clip of some people talking about it on Tick Tock and I was like, maybe it's like.

[Heath]

It could, like, if if you're English.

[Zane]

Though, I'm curious, would English people be like, oh, yeah, we'll go into the Caribbean. The Caribbean. Actually, the Caribbean sounds more like a British person would say. Caribbean.

[Heath]

Caribbean sounds more American, I think.

[Zane]

The Caribbean. I don't know.

[Jordan]

Only for pirates, though.

[Zane]

Getting that booty, getting that loot.

[Heath]

And was there, like, you know, like the whole hook on pirates, is that because, like, infections, like, you had to amputate it?

[Jordan]

Was it more like a big leg?

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Was it like, amputations going on in.

[Jordan]

The middle of the gangrene?

[Heath]

Yeah. What was that?

[Zane]

Just. I think it was more just like Captain Hook. Always the.

[Heath]

It was always the pirate with the. No, and it wasn't just Captain Hook. I feel like it was other.

[Jordan]

Oh, also probably, like.

[Zane]

It's probably like Treasure island by Robert Louis Stevenson. That was, like, kind of the quintessential pirates book.

[Jordan]

They weren't missing an eye.

[Zane]

Oh, right. We talked about this. Yeah. A couple episodes ago.

[Jordan]

That's so crazy.

[Zane]

They would just use it to dilate their eye as they were going in, in and out of the deck.

[Matt]

Some of them were definitely missing their eye, though.

[Heath]

There. Yeah, there was a couple sockets that I saw out of place, out of order.

[Zane]

Or like One Eyed Willie. I mean. Yeah, he was losing an eye in the Goonies. And wait, why was it called the poop deck? Y'all know poop deck, where the.

[Jordan]

The bird poop is?

[Zane]

Why was it called the poop deck? That's a good thought.

[Heath]

That is all the seagull shit and every. Yeah, that makes sense. Checks. Checks out.

[Zane]

Why was it called the poop deck? Let's ask the bot poop. That gets the name from the French word lap, which means the stern or rear of a ship. So, Lao.

[Heath]

We were close. We were close. But also, like, where are they? On a pirate ship? Pro. Like, I'm over. Like, are they putting their. Why don't they show that in the movies? Just show a quick scene of someone's like. Like, just the whole side of the.

[Matt]

Boat is just covered in.

[Zane]

I read a whole essay one time about pooping in Lord of the Rings and, like, how, like, if a hobbit has to have, like, three breakfasts a morning and then has, like.

[Matt]

I know the answer. I know the answer. The hobby is eating elven bread. So the bread is filling them for a long time. So they're not eating that much in.

[Zane]

The elves don't. But when they go to Elvendale or whatever, do they have toilets in the land? Because they gotta accommodate the guests. And if the elves can't poop, where we pooping. And also. And on that journey, like Mariah's not.

[Jordan]

On one episode and they're pooping.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Where's the poop?

[Heath]

If you guys are wondering what the. Why the vibe is so different? This is pretty much what our bonus episodes look like every month.

[Jordan]

This is a Patreon bonus episode.

[Heath]

Except this month, we're gonna make it public for you guys.

[Jordan]

Little taste test.

[Heath]

Yeah. See if you guys like the conversations that the boys are having for this. It's a lot of poop. It's a lot of pee. It's a lot. That's really what happens in these episodes.

[Jordan]

Welcome.

[Zane]

But back to pirates, though. What do we do?

[Heath]

We also. We also don't do intros on this. So this is our first and last non intro episode. So if you guys hate the intros, then you're going to love this episode.

[Zane]

Back to pirates, though. You know, cannon. To firing cannons into other pirate ships. Consider me done. I gaming getting on a pirate ship. If it means that we're going to be shooting cannons at other pirate ships and they're shooting it at us. You're telling me you're going to throw a whole cannon into a ship? It's going to sink. We're all going to die.

[Heath]

It's fun shooting the cannons, but knowing that you're in the line of cannonball fire. I don't know. I don't think it's worth it anymore.

[Zane]

Yeah. I would like to know if they had rules like you can't hit just like the base of the ship.

[Heath]

I think they're.

[Zane]

Hold on.

[Jordan]

So cannons were invented before guns?

[Heath]

No, I don't.

[Jordan]

Right.

[Heath]

I don't think so.

[Matt]

Yes, they were.

[Jordan]

Doesn't it seem harder to make a cannon and shoot a ball this big as. Why? Well, why would you.

[Zane]

Accuracy.

[Matt]

I think it was like the explosion was so big. Like, the cannons are like. They're huge, thick, girthy steel. So that explosion. I don't. I think it was blowing up.

[Jordan]

I would be like, yo, why don't we just start with a smaller one?

[Heath]

Yeah. And then grow from there.

[Zane]

Have a.

[Jordan]

Like a.

[Zane]

And then. But then you got to clean it every time. And it's like, yo, let's just throw one big one and kill everybody. Because back in the day, it'd be like, hold on a second. Wait, wait, wait. And hopefully you're going to get that one guy with your mustard and the.

[Heath]

Kickback you're getting from cannonballs. Imagine like, you don't back up, like, fast enough. Boom. You were in the back of the ship. You're actually making a hole in the other side of the ship at that point.

[Zane]

Oh, boy. Where are we going, guys?

[Heath]

Just so much. Well, this is. If we were pirates, I think new year we start looking at other people's perspectives on, you know, that's what 2025 is all about.

[Jordan]

If you were a pirate, would you wear the big kind of cowboy hat, like, looking triangle thing, or would you bandana?

[Matt]

Bandana, bandana.

[Heath]

100. It's easier turn.

[Zane]

You gotta earn the big hat. Like a pirate.

[Jordan]

Is that reserved for, like, captains?

[Zane]

Yeah, I think the other.

[Heath]

If you're walking around with a hat, I think it's like, very disrespectful. Like, who the do you think you are?

[Jordan]

Would you have a.

[Heath]

A parrot, A peg leg?

[Zane]

For sure, definitely. But if that parrot died, I'd be devastated. I mean, we need to go stop by some other islands and I need a train.

[Heath]

Do you think it was, like, anxiety parrots?

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Just kind of calm them down, like, they're gonna fight and they're like, it's okay. That's. I know, I know. My parent would do that for me. I'd be like, it's better than a cat. Because you like, your parents talk to you.

[Zane]

Yes.

[Jordan]

It's crazy how well birds can talk.

[Zane]

I know.

[Jordan]

It's like, how are we not more freaked out about it than we are?

[Matt]

I am.

[Zane]

We just.

[Heath]

I think we just accept it.

[Jordan]

We're like, yeah, parrots can talk.

[Heath]

Give me a kiss.

[Zane]

Give me a kiss.

[Heath]

Do you think they, like, back then, when they found out Paris talk, they thought they were like, cursed and just like, killed 100. You know what I mean? It's like the Salem witch trial is like, oh, this bird is like, this bird is a devil. Yeah. Or the devil.

[Zane]

I'm surprised. Yeah. We don't have, like, statues of, like, parrots. More like, I feel like, so one.

[Jordan]

Animal that can talk.

[Zane]

Yes. What?

[Heath]

And like, can understand you and talk back.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Well, there was.

[Heath]

And be sassy too.

[Matt]

There's a whole thing on ravens, like, that. Ravens were probably what you think as. As modern day ghost because they were repeating things.

[Zane]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt]

So you would hear something and be like, oh, is that a ghost or is that a bird?

[Zane]

Yeah, it has, like, very spooky energy too. Someone showed a video of a toucan and, like, move the feathers back on its, like, neck. Toucans, like, skin and stuff is, like, translucent. You can, like, see through a toucan really? Also, toucans eat other, like, birds and stuff. It can eat rats, and it's like a carnivorous bird.

[Heath]

Whoa.

[Zane]

So that's beak is razor sharp. It's, like, has, like, these little mini blades on it.

[Heath]

So it's a good bird to have as like, a backyard pet, but it could eat.

[Jordan]

Beware of two can signs on your house.

[Heath]

Yeah, so.

[Matt]

So when a high school has, like, the toucan mascot, it really is that predator. It's that aggressive.

[Zane]

That and Froot Loops, man, that toucan will eat your little children up.

[Heath]

That. Interesting, interesting bird to, like, have as on the cereal box. Like, what is a.

[Zane]

Did the Fruit Loop. Wait, did the Fruit Loop toucan talk?

[Heath]

Yeah, in commercials, right? Yeah.

[Zane]

But the Lion King, that bird, he talks. But I always thought, like, the toucan bird and the Lion King bird would have the same voice, but I don't.

[Jordan]

Think they'd be friends, right?

[Zane]

Yeah, 100%. They're.

[Heath]

What do they still have? And I know they'll like, maybe Disney Channel. Are they still showing, like, tricks. Tricks commercials and Reese's Pieces commercials?

[Zane]

Hell, yeah, they should.

[Heath]

No, sorry. Not Reese's puff. Sorry. But cereal commercial. I feel like I only see right now are, like, the Cheerios.

[Zane]

It.

[Heath]

That's it. Cheerios. And maybe, like, life.

[Jordan]

I also just don't see any commercials.

[Matt]

Commercials. We're all subscribed. Yeah, we get commercial free.

[Heath]

That's true.

[Zane]

Kids get excited about commercials. Like, finally some new content. I'm just so bored focusing on this. Give me an ad.

[Matt]

My YouTube Premium ran out, and I have been watching ads, and I enjoy them.

[Zane]

Yeah, they come targeted. Yeah, they know you when you see, like, would you like us to know your search history so we can give you more targeted ads? Do you say yes or no to that?

[Heath]

I usually say yes because I'm like.

[Zane]

I'd rather watch an ad of something that I like than, like, I don't know, a tampon ad. Because I'd be like, this does not apply.

[Jordan]

Sometimes I'll scroll and I'll wait for ads because, like, my Instagram ads are so good, and it's like, clothing that I actually like that I'll skip posts to, like, find new clothing.

[Zane]

Same.

[Jordan]

And I'm like, damn, this is really.

[Heath]

I just. I just wish there was more different. I feel like I'm seeing the same exact, exact products, though. Like, I need them to go around what I like. But give me new stuff.

[Zane]

Shopping tab. Though there used to be, like, a tab where it was kind of like.

[Heath]

Oh, like you're on my Instagram shopping.

[Zane]

Yeah, but yeah, Instagram shopping, they made it really good about like tagging products within posts and identifying what those are. But there was like a, you know, like a TikTok shop section of Instagram that I had where it was a little shopping bag and you click that. And I do remember that. Browse some products, but some of it was like really cheap.

[Heath]

Yeah, you could, you can buy. Can you buy products straight on Instagram app like Tick Tock Shop does or. No, no, they don't have that.

[Zane]

They don't have like a cart that you're checking out on.

[Heath]

But like Tick Tock is like, they have it right on the app.

[Zane]

And Tick Tock though, like, I'll never buy it, but I just like to keep a cart going of like things.

[Heath]

Oh, really? I buy. You see, Tick Tock makes me buy immediately just because it makes sense.

[Zane]

I just like the candies they can't.

[Heath]

Do you buy the candies off.

[Zane]

I bought the sour raspberry gushers that are like coated in sour candy.

[Heath]

TikTok shop takes longer to ship though, right? Like you're not getting your shit for a long time.

[Zane]

That long? Not that long. It'll get to you like in a couple of days.

[Heath]

Really?

[Zane]

Like next day ship.

[Heath]

I like forget. I'll order something on TikTok shop and I'll see it three weeks later. I'm like, damn, I forgot I ordered this. Oh, but it'll take like quite a bit.

[Zane]

I think it depends on the product.

[Jordan]

I've never done TikTok Shop.

[Zane]

Go for it.

[Matt]

You gotta shop before it goes down. It could be down right now.

[Jordan]

You're right.

[Heath]

Oh my God. Wait, no, no, it would be next week maybe. Next week. Yeah, next week. Oh my God.

[Zane]

Wow. I will be fine. I think.

[Jordan]

I. I don't think it's going anywhere.

[Heath]

No, but, no, the thing is that if nobody buys it, then I'll go away. They have it, they have to sell it. Yeah, they have to sell it to an American.

[Zane]

Buy it. Absolutely. There's billions of dollars to be made and if something is like guaranteed to make somebody billions of dollars, people will spend billions of dollars on it.

[Heath]

But looking who's the buyer to buy it.

[Zane]

Yeah. I don't know. Probably Meta. I don't know.

[Heath]

Billions.

[Zane]

But then I don't know if Meta would do it because what's going to happen to Instagram? I don't know.

[Jordan]

Competition.

[Zane]

It would suck if like Microsoft bought it. Yeah, like Android, like I don't Know.

[Heath]

Exactly. Instagram wouldn't buy that. Right. Because they want people coming to their platform.

[Jordan]

They're like, yeah, it's like a competitor, but also like, that's what you do. Buy the competition. Huh. Interesting.

[Heath]

Just want to hear those conversations. Like, what are those conversations? Like, what is Instagram talking about? Hearing about?

[Zane]

Yeah, we gotta get the guy to make the business deal. You're on that?

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Zane]

If we just do like, what are they just doing emails? Is it a bunch of phone calls?

[Heath]

Yes.

[Zane]

When business and like merger deals happen, I'm just like, huh. Like, I don't know. That hard to contribute to the world to make a whole acquisition happen.

[Matt]

I think it's like really quiet and they pull under the rug and like, I am down.

[Heath]

Like, I am down to be the consumer.

[Zane]

Oh, I would just be sweating and lying just like in the bathroom. Just like chat GPT. Like, how do I make an acquisition happen? And being like, yeah, we just need those TPS reports.

[Heath]

Right?

[Zane]

Okay, we're good here.

[Heath]

Like, doctor, I feel like doctors don't know anything that's happening. They Google search everything. That's what I, like, I really, truly think happens. Like, I was. I was on the phone with, I believe it was like a doctor's assistant or something. And I told her the medication that I needed and she was like, wait, what is that again? I said it. And she's like, time is like, can you smell that for me? I smelled it for. And she's like, give me a second. Give me a second. And then she's like, like, wait, what is that? Like, what's that prescription again for? And I had to not only tell their spelling. Had I tell her what it was for, I guess.

[Zane]

Can they. Should they know all the different types of. Absolutely.

[Heath]

That's why in my head I'm like, if they're Google searching everything, they must be Google searching all the time.

[Zane]

This is like a new medication. Ask your doctor. It was not a doctor about this.

[Heath]

Matt. I'll tell you right now, it was not a new medication.

[Matt]

Zane. Maybe the just the doctor front office lady entered the phone.

[Heath]

No, no, no, no, it wasn't. I'm telling you right now.

[Matt]

Okay?

[Zane]

I've never once asked my doctor look about a medication. Like one I saw, like on tv, you know?

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zane]

Oh, but it's wild. Like America in New Zealand. We are the only countries where you can advertise.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

That is so weird to me.

[Heath]

Oh, yeah.

[Zane]

Like, just bizarre. The rest of the world. There's not another world where they have tapped into that, but we are the only ones that do it. Also when I had to do an alcohol brand deal and you know, sometimes if you're an influencer, you have to do an alcohol brand deal on the back end of us. We have to set audience restrictions for who's ever falling to see us. So if it's an alcohol product, you have to make sure that people are 21 and up. For Sweden, it's 25 and up. And I don't know if that's the drinking age. I'm going to look it up.

[Heath]

It could be just like the, like the commercial laws like Sweden in America. I believe it's in all of America, maybe just in a few states. But you have to be older than 25 to promote alcohol.

[Jordan]

Yeah, you have to be, you can't.

[Heath]

Be 21 years old.

[Zane]

So yeah, in Sweden you can be 18 to legally drink and purchase alcohol in bars, restaurants and clubs. But you must be 20 to purchase alcohol from only. Oh, their liquor stores are state run. So yeah, there's only one brand of liquor stores and you have to be 20 to buy.

[Heath]

I could see them having an age for being over a certain age to promote alcohol because a lot of 18 year olds, 20 year olds, wherever it's legal, they look like they're 15. So it could be just like they look too young. So 25 is like a good age where like we can maybe get it.

[Jordan]

Where you're like almost guaranteed to look 21.

[Heath]

Look 21. Exactly. Yeah. I, I personally think that's why they do like the, you have to be 25, which makes sense because I don't want some like person looking like that looks like they're like a kid tell me to buy a certain alcohol. That's like a little weird.

[Matt]

Cigarette ads though.

[Zane]

I'm not saying do they, do they.

[Heath]

Promote cigarette smoking in other countries? Like have ads for it?

[Zane]

Probably, yeah, other countries.

[Heath]

See, that's interesting. You'll never see it here, but that's, that's in other countries.

[Zane]

Oh yeah. Remember like Camel Joe? Like her Joe Camel. They mar a cartoon, but it was like a cartoon Camel. And that was like, that was like the big time where like advertisers or the government was cracking down on like you cannot have a Disney esque cartoon looking Camel promoting smoking wearing Ray Bans. Just like have a cigarette. Hey, smoking look pretty cool.

[Heath]

Smoking is cool. That's what they got to do.

[Matt]

You know, it's sad because when they do all of that, you know, it's like I, I like the Camel smoking I'm an adult. I like him. I think he's fine.

[Jordan]

I think he's pretty cool.

[Zane]

I'm.

[Jordan]

I miss how, like, cool Marlboro branding was.

[Zane]

Oh, yeah.

[Jordan]

Like the. They would just. If you bought a pack of cigarettes, they would just send you, like, a rain jacket, Marlboro across it.

[Heath]

Yeah, they're good with their little, like, activations.

[Jordan]

Have like, the little ticket in the back for, like, it's redeemable for, like, merch Heath.

[Heath]

Remember in Florida, we'd go out and there would be cigarette girls that walk around and they'd give you. You just. You put your email and something. Free pack of cigarettes.

[Zane]

Do they. I do they still do that?

[Heath]

No, they definitely don't do that, I don't think.

[Jordan]

But there was, like, limited edition cars that would come out and they would be Marlboro branded, and it would just be like, that's so they don't have that shit anymore. If they did, imagine it was like, you're, like, branded, like car collabs.

[Heath]

What are you talking about? I smoke unbranded vapes until you spend me. I'm not. I'm not saying what.

[Matt]

I smoke the brand deal for cigarettes. Like, only smoke Marlboro for this year. We'll send you boxes.

[Zane]

I feel like in TV and movies, like, people have been smoking, like, left and right in them.

[Heath]

Oh, yeah.

[Zane]

Like, it's all, like, back which I.

[Heath]

Mayor of East Town with a vape.

[Zane]

Yes.

[Heath]

That's my fit. Like, that was one of the funniest things I've ever seen on TV is having a character like that smoking a vape every five.

[Jordan]

It's very underrepresented in movie and, like, TV now.

[Heath]

Yeah. You know, like, e cigarettes.

[Jordan]

Vapes.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zane]

I feel like there's more people smoking cigarettes than people having vapes.

[Heath]

Yeah. But they do show it.

[Zane]

Like in Challengers, they're, like, out having a cigarette together. It's just this, like, scene. It gives the characters something to do.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zane]

But I just don't know if that's like.

[Jordan]

It's weird.

[Zane]

It's trying to get the movie industry to show people smoking.

[Heath]

You think it's. You think it's that deep? But sometimes I think the director's like, I really want my character smoking a vape in this scene.

[Zane]

Have you ever seen thank you for smoking the movie?

[Heath]

No.

[Zane]

Oh, you should. It's with that one actor who played, like, Harvey Dent in, like, the Batman movies. Okay. He's in a bunch of stuff, but he's a lobbyist for the smoking industry. And he has to go and like, get politicians to like, sign off on. And part of the movie was like them talking about where there's this new space age movie and they really want like this couple to like have a cigarette in space or whatever. And I think that's a part in the movie. But I don't know, like that, like.

[Heath]

That show I was telling you about, like the Gentleman, there's a character in there that has a light lime green vape. Throughout the whole season, you always see him with this light lime green vape. And it was just so interesting because it's something you only see in person. You don't see it on tv. Yeah.

[Jordan]

So I really show it on TV more. There's so many people that smoke vapes, but they just don't.

[Heath]

They probably don't want to add to the.

[Zane]

I was just watching Conclave last night that's gonna get nominated.

[Heath]

Was it good?

[Zane]

Yes.

[Heath]

Really?

[Zane]

Oh, yeah. It's really.

[Heath]

Look at like the trailer.

[Zane]

It's because it's all about like, like, like the Pope has died and you know how to elect the next Pope. It's all of like the. What is the archbishops or basically everybody who's like a head big priest or whatever countries, they all have to come together like it's the UN and over the course of days, this happens every time we elect a Pope. They have to figure out who's gonna vote and they have to have a majority of like 47 votes. And it happens over the course.

[Heath]

Is it like a realistic movie? Is a more like fictional? Like, like there's like drama?

[Zane]

Like, what drama goes down over the course of these days of these guys finding out about one another and they're all sequestered away from the world trying to figure out which one of us is going to be the Pope for the next 10, 20, 30 years. But one of the Popes, though, has a vape. Like, it's just like wild because popes actually a big or not popes, but priests, especially hardcore ones, like in Italy, Sistine Chapel, they're a bunch of old guys who, they smoke cigarettes all the time. But this one, or just he's just smoking, has his vape. It's just a wild something you.

[Heath]

Would, you, you wouldn't. You don't think is like, yeah, allowed.

[Zane]

It's just wild becoming the Pope. Like you're about to become the most famous person in the entire world.

[Jordan]

It's pretty crazy.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Heath]

And they, they stay in Vatican. They don't like, leave Vatican City.

[Zane]

They go on tour oh, they do.

[Heath]

They. They go on tour.

[Jordan]

Yeah. You got to use seatgeek, though.

[Heath]

Yeah. No, it's not about it.

[Zane]

The Pope gets around. Like, goes around the world all year.

[Heath]

Like, so would we see him at like, Coachella? Like, Main St. Like, let's. I think everybody at Coachella would want to see the Pope.

[Zane]

He was in Slovakia when you guys were there. And I really telling David because it was funny. I was thinking like, where is the Pope right now? And you can see it on the website or wherever he's going.

[Jordan]

Santa tracker.

[Zane]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really?

[Heath]

I did not know you could do that.

[Matt]

You don't remember he was liking all of those girls pictures on Instagram.

[Jordan]

Oh, I remember that.

[Heath]

I thought it was a politician. I thought. I didn't know it was the Pope.

[Matt]

But the pope came out, was like.

[Heath]

Like, I didn't know the Pope was on Instagram. Like, that it was on Instagram.

[Matt]

He was liking them baddies.

[Heath]

Imagine those DMS in the pope's Instagram.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Kidding me.

[Matt]

Crazy.

[Zane]

Heal me, heal me, father. But, oh, but really, Zane, you should watch Conclave because the end, I was like, oh, my gosh. All I say is like, the ending was like, well, yeah, I love a good plot twist. Yeah. Where you're just like, I did not see this happening.

[Heath]

That's good. All right, I'll watch it. And it's Oscar nominated. Who you know you got to do what you got to do. This episode is brought to you by Better help. Every January brings you 365 blank pages waiting to be filled. I know I got a ton of pages that I need filled. And that's where therapy comes in. You just got to think of therapy as your editorial partner, helping you write new chapters and create the meaningful story you deserve to live, baby. Try BetterHelp. Today, BetterHelp is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient. Serving over 5 million people worldwide, you have access to diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of special specialties. And you can easily switch therapists anytime at no extra cost. Honestly, what I love about BetterHelp is the convenience. You don't have to go all the way downtown and sit in a room full of people waiting to see your therapist. You could do it in the comfort of your own home, in your living room. You could be in your jammies and not have to worry about traffic. You know what I mean? And it's good to talk to somebody and it's good to talk to a licensed therapist instead of like your Best friend, your parents, your girlfriend, boyfriend, Someone who's going to give you good advice and someone who's going to give you just unbiased opinions. So this year, write your story with better help. Visit betterhelp.com Zayn Heat Heath to get 10 off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E L p.com Zane and Heath, thank you better help for sponsoring today's episode. We love you, Heath and I. I, we don't want to talk too much about it, but Heath and I did this. We, we did a commercial for this brand called like Zoo. It's a brand called Zugu case and they make like cases for iPad. It's really, it's a really good quality. They, they released like this almost like gag gift where the case connects to like an aura ring. And the, you have this aura ring, right, like throughout your life and whenever you die, the aura it like tracks your like heartbeat or whatever. When you die, your iPad case just bricks and it deletes everything off. It's really interesting. It's really interesting. So we did a commercial for it and all. Guys, all I gotta say is just go watch it. We spent like, we spent like what, nine hours doing this like a minute video.

[Jordan]

It was a 12 hour shoot, 12.

[Heath]

Hour shoot day for this minute video. It was crazy. Matt, when it comes out, watch it. It's.

[Zane]

Oh my gosh, we did it.

[Heath]

We did a face wax challenge.

[Zane]

I can't wait to see it. Yeah, that's another thing though. I wish that you could like sign something that like when you do die all your digital. But then again, I would want people to have my data.

[Heath]

Would you?

[Zane]

Actually, I trust my, if I die well to know my brother to like have everything or my wife.

[Heath]

Well, what sucks if you got like murder, that would be a really bad thing to have have. Is that ring on? So like if you're running away from a murder, just take that ring off and toss it. Actually, no, no, because if you. No.

[Matt]

You want to die.

[Heath]

No, no. If the ring is off, I don't think it like, I think it just.

[Jordan]

It just knows it's off.

[Heath]

It knows it's off.

[Matt]

No, Zane, but if you are gonna get shot and you have that ring on, you're gonna want to keep it on because you bought it for that reason. You're gonna want your.

[Heath]

No, but like, if I know I'm about to be murdered, you want your shit white. No, no, no. I want the killer to be found because they're gonna find something in my, in my iPad. But that's a rare case. You know what I mean?

[Matt]

That's true.

[Heath]

If I'm die. If I'm, like, dying of old age or something, I'm like, all right, it's time for my secrets to die with me.

[Zane]

Yeah. And even though if I, like, inherited, like, someone's, like, data and stuff, I'm really not gonna sit there and read every single conversation. I wouldn't care to creep into. Like, that would be so, like, if.

[Jordan]

If somebody did pass away that you were like, a family reading their texts or going through, like, their. But if it would.

[Zane]

If it was your great grandfather's hard drive, then I would actually be like, actually, this was. This is kind of interesting.

[Heath]

Like, just to learn more, I could.

[Zane]

Go through all of his photos that he took on just, like, random days of, like. Yeah. I would go through photos 10 and stuff. It would be. Yeah. Kind of wild having access to a hard drive that was decades older, too. Like, of a time that you never even.

[Heath]

Oh, like, if we were a great grand. Like, if we were great grandfathers and our children wanted our. Our data to just see a hard drive. So, like, look at our pictures real quick.

[Zane]

Just. Yeah. What were your texts back then? Like, we're like, oh, boy. Yeah. We would send GIFs to each other. It was just like, Family Guy reactions.

[Heath]

So weird. Oh, my God.

[Zane]

Weird. And we had these emojis, too.

[Heath]

Granddaddy. What's up, Mimi? Oh, wait, what's a Mimi?

[Jordan]

Do you guys send those, like, images?

[Zane]

Oh, like, I sometimes like the text.

[Jordan]

Like, you can, like. Like, go to the image search.

[Heath]

Oh, I'll check there first for what I'm looking for. If most likely they don't have what I'm looking, I just go to Google.

[Jordan]

Type it in, and something specific pops into my head, and I say the reaction to a text in my head with something funny from a movie. Every once in a while. I'll search it and be like, oh, okay, they have it. I'll send it.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Because sometimes it hits way better than, like, replying, like, what? Yeah, would be a movie quote.

[Zane]

Right? And then you don't know how to, like, sucker. It's just. It's all like, New Girl and Family Guy and just. Just like, yeah, 2007 meme.

[Jordan]

Who uploads that? Is that Apple putting those on? Like, where is.

[Heath]

Oh, Apple upload? Like, it's definitely back end, but there's.

[Jordan]

Also, like, five, ten different repeats of those images. Like, they'll have the same.

[Heath]

I don't. There's no way we can submit. We can submit the gifts into their gift.

[Matt]

Well, I think they're ripping it from some like, GIP or something. Yeah, they're ripping it from some site and like. Like putting filters on it. So it's like safe and stuff. But for sure it's just coming from randomly on the Internet because they have a lot. They're just random.

[Zane]

I know, but it's not that. Sometimes it's not that funny if you're like, like the gif.

[Heath]

I just.

[Matt]

I just think it's gonna be crazy once we just like AI gifs just take over everything and like, we don't have, like. I know. It's like, it is Family Guy. It is like the office and stuff. But yeah, soon, like in 20 years, like, I think it's just going to be AI reactions to everything.

[Heath]

Because in 20 years will be well.

[Matt]

On the route it's going. It's just like. That just seems like the new art. Yeah, right. Like, just how.

[Heath]

How would you like to pass die?

[Zane]

Well, hopefully, I think euthanasia.

[Matt]

You know, what I think is important about death is what you're buried in. Like, what they're gonna put you in.

[Zane]

Right?

[Jordan]

Yes.

[Matt]

I. I went to her friend's funeral, and in his casket, they put him in a PlayStation shirt.

[Jordan]

You told me that.

[Matt]

Oh, whoa, hold on. Not a PlayStation fan. Hated PlayStation.

[Jordan]

He's an Xbox guy.

[Matt]

I. This is like one of my best friends. And it was really, like. All I thought was, they're gonna bury him in that shirt.

[Jordan]

He's gonna be so pissed, like, oh.

[Heath]

He'S gonna haunt whoever put him in that shit. Whose idea was gonna be upset? Yours?

[Matt]

It was probably the parents. But I mean, they don't know because apparently, whatever. But like, knowing him and seeing the.

[Heath]

Shirt, that direction of thought, they're like.

[Matt]

But I used to love that I had a. If I, like, I texted my mom, like, you. These are like the appropriate things that I want you to bury me in.

[Heath]

And if I die, what were the appropriate things? You told me?

[Matt]

I just. I sent her pictures in my closet of outfits, like, to put on me.

[Heath]

You planned your funeral?

[Matt]

And then my mom was like, you're not gonna die before me. But, you know, I don't.

[Heath]

That's why. That's a wild thing to do.

[Matt]

I mean, it's important.

[Jordan]

What was your outfit?

[Matt]

It was. I probably looked homeless.

[Heath]

Is it the. Is it the red. The red Lord Fark watcher that you have?

[Matt]

Honestly, that is a good choice. And I want two gold coins on my eyes. Like the Romans.

[Heath]

All right. I don't have nothing in my closet I like enough to be buried in that one.

[Zane]

I wanted to go out in a suit for sure.

[Jordan]

That's what I was thinking.

[Zane]

But, like. Like, I don't want to be in a black suit. I wouldn't be, like, in a nice, like, brown suit. Like a nice, like, tweed jacket with, like, some cats.

[Heath]

You want to be uncomfortable?

[Zane]

What do you mean?

[Jordan]

I mean, once rigor mortis sets in.

[Zane]

Yeah. I wanna.

[Heath]

I want to be in sweatpants. I want to be comfortable in the afterlife. Because what if, like. No, look. What if you're stuck in that outfit? If you're stuck in that. That's gonna suck. In a suit. You can't take it off. It's your outfit of. In the afterlife. And they don't have any other clothes either. You only get a river of milk and honey. That's all you get.

[Zane]

Hopefully they wouldn't be awake, but, like, if you had to go to a funeral and the person's like, in, like.

[Heath]

I don't know, I would like it, like. Like. Like a nice, like, good. Like an aloe hoodie or something.

[Jordan]

Okay.

[Heath]

Just something comfy. Good quality.

[Zane]

Yeah. I want to get a brand deal. Like, even make my family make a little bit more extra money on me. Yeah.

[Heath]

Just one good.

[Jordan]

The one last joke code. Mad 15 off caskets.

[Zane]

Yeah. We get bumper stickers, like, all over there.

[Heath]

I wouldn't mind. That's a good joke.

[Matt]

There's gonna be an Amazon link on my casket of all my clothing.

[Heath]

A barcode on the caske. A good idea.

[Zane]

Like a QR code.

[Heath]

Sorry, what did I say?

[Zane]

QR code. But, like, people are like, oh, my God.

[Heath]

Like, on my dime. Like, like, part of my will is that everyone at my funeral. Hey, here. Thank you for coming on my last day.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Here's a $50, like, gift card. Go. Like, have fun. Like, it's on me.

[Zane]

Have you touched. Have you touched a corpse?

[Heath]

No. Have you?

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

No.

[Zane]

Yeah. I feel like two or three.

[Heath]

Ew. With their content.

[Zane]

I gotta wake. Like, even when I was younger, like, or.

[Heath]

Because.

[Zane]

Oh, yeah. People go up and like. Like, kiss. Like, you know, a body. Like, at a awake or like the rosary service. I don't know. I, like, touched my grandpa's hands and I feel like I touched. Yeah, I feel like my grandmother's too. I know.

[Heath]

Was it cold?

[Zane]

Yeah, so cold. Really cold. And I wouldn't say, like, feels like a wax figure, but, like, it does feel like there is. Obviously it's pumped with like an embalming fluid. But it has this like fakeness to it.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zane]

That it does not seem real. But yeah, you can touch it.

[Jordan]

Do they wrap like they cut the back of your clothes and wrap it over you?

[Zane]

I have no clue. I think they do actually. Really?

[Jordan]

There's no way they'd be able to slide like. Like you're propping somebody up. They're trying to like get your arms through.

[Zane]

RICK Armortis FUNERAL that's a good question to ask someone who works at a funeral. But I do think that they're kind of professionals and they know how to.

[Heath]

What do you think is the most up thing a funeral home does?

[Zane]

Well, what do you mean? Like it's something that's.

[Heath]

There's every, every business has some weird. Not, not weird like a shady. Just shady. What shady shit's happening in funeral homes.

[Zane]

That they're just jacking up prices, upcharging, going. You know, this is a better, more like concealable casket. You're not going to have critters or bugs getting into it. This might be a little bit more.

[Heath]

Do you think they're like respecting the body?

[Zane]

Yes.

[Heath]

The, the corpses?

[Zane]

Yes.

[Heath]

I don't know.

[Zane]

Unless I think so.

[Matt]

Well what if the fridge is full?

[Heath]

You'll have like Deborah and Beth. Like I think they're carrying from like hands and legs and just like yeah, we'll like take care of that one later.

[Zane]

Funeral homes are usually family owned businesses and it's something that's been like passed, passed down through generations of people. They've also been around it for so long. They're very else like religious people. I think it's just, it's such a tradition and they have so much respect to the routine of it. I would like to think that most funeral homes are handling it well but. No, just a thought wrong with that if funeral home. I mean it's a great business to be in though. Like there's always going to be dead bodies.

[Heath]

Yeah. And I also believe in like, like karma and spirits a lot. Where I would never want to like be shady in a fun like funeral home. You know what I mean? It's just like too risky for me at least. Like I just wouldn't want to be haunted.

[Zane]

People live in funeral homes too. Like that's also crazy too. Yeah.

[Heath]

People that run funeral homes, they live there.

[Zane]

Yeah. Sometimes it's usually part of like an additional part of the house.

[Heath]

Imagine this they're hearing at night because it's also.

[Zane]

It serves as a venue for it and people want to feel Comfortable and at home grieving through that process. It would be so weird if you had to go to like, like a funeral store or like it's. It's such this interesting like place where you have to like if you had.

[Jordan]

To go into like a Westfield Mall.

[Zane]

Yeah. To go do it. And it sometimes then once it's not always needs to be in a church. It can be just like this multi functional space for. Yeah, yeah. It's very interesting. People who do makeup, like all of that on dead people do their hair.

[Heath]

Would you want to be in like draft?

[Zane]

No way. I look good. Just make me look good. Yeah.

[Matt]

I wonder if they do like your nails, you know like I hope they.

[Heath]

I hope they do mine.

[Matt]

You know, if I was a girl, I'd want to be probably like my nails look raggedy. Fix them up.

[Jordan]

They probably do.

[Zane]

No, they do like left over right usually for the watch head slightly to.

[Matt]

The left or like, you know the position. The just a position.

[Zane]

You don't want to be stargazing. You don't want to be navel gazing. You just want to.

[Heath]

You want to look good for the gates of hell.

[Zane]

This is from like that movie Bernie with like Jack Black back. And you just want to be angled slightly to the left so you're just at a relatively calm.

[Matt]

I am going to be naked glass casket.

[Zane]

Oh yeah.

[Matt]

You don't have a choice because it's gonna be glass.

[Jordan]

So come pay respect.

[Matt]

Come up. Or you save me from afar.

[Heath]

I think that's a good way to go.

[Zane]

But if I died though, I really would want somebody I know to run my entire funeral. I think it's very strange. I mean it depends on your religion. And yes, if you do want a priest, hopefully the person who is doing your eulogy is someone who like act. I want them to know me. And yes, I do want my loved ones like speak. But it's just weird. Some guys like we're gathered here today to bury. I didn't know this man, but from what I've heard, he was very close and great to all of you. I'm like, ah, you are not speaking.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zane]

On behalf of me.

[Heath]

Who's who and who's who's doing that for you?

[Zane]

Probably my brother.

[Heath]

Your brother?

[Zane]

I would have my brother and my brother just mc the whole kind of thing. Thing. I think. Hey, let's go. Who's next?

[Heath]

Bring her down. Down, down, down to down. Get the casket down, down, down, down.

[Zane]

I. I mean, I don't know.

[Heath]

I would make my casket like the DJ set Right?

[Jordan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matt]

When you.

[Jordan]

When you close the lid, you've got the turntable on.

[Heath]

Oh, yes.

[Jordan]

He kind of sitting here. Right here.

[Heath]

That's not a bad idea. And have my rigor mortise corpse, like, dancing.

[Jordan]

He just found out the word now.

[Heath]

Like, have him do this. Like, have me, like, dancing with everybody.

[Zane]

I saw a video of an old, you know what? Laugh. No one cares about how much you weigh. Okay. The only people that are going to care are six people. Those going to be the pallbearers at your funeral. Such a funny old man. Have you ever been a Paul bear? No. It's like you have to like, carry the casket.

[Matt]

The people that like, dance with it.

[Zane]

Like, you got to pick it up.

[Jordan]

You have to dance it.

[Zane]

You just.

[Jordan]

You just have to carry.

[Heath]

Yeah. You don't have to lie bop with it. You can wait till after it's done.

[Matt]

The Instagram videos and tick tock videos I see, it's like a whole parade and festival with them.

[Heath]

Well, they do celebrate. A lot of people want celebrations at their funeral. You want that?

[Matt]

If I.

[Zane]

Life.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zane]

Yes.

[Matt]

If I pass away, I want you guys to like, hey, I think it.

[Heath]

Depends on how you die, right?

[Zane]

It depends.

[Heath]

If you died like, very soon. And it was like a terrible trap. I don't think you'd want to celebrate.

[Zane]

No, no. It's of old age. Yeah. Like, when my grandma died, my dad and my uncle, like, my grandma loved David letterman's like, top 10. And that's when he would, like, have the cards and he would say something funny and throw the cards. And my dad and him went through like, the top 10 of like, funniest memories they have with her. And they would throw the cards out into the audience. It was so nice. It was so nice.

[Heath]

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[Zane]

We love you, but. Okay, so moving on from that, now.

[Heath]

Let'S talk about life.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Zane]

Do you want to know if you were having a baby, would you want to know the gender of your baby before or just wait till the day of.

[Jordan]

And I used to want to know and I love, like, but now I think I. I think I want to let it be a surprise.

[Zane]

Yeah. It adds, like so much more excitement to the day and you're going to love that baby even more.

[Jordan]

I think there's something super special about finding out in the moment.

[Zane]

Yes.

[Matt]

Are you gonna do that then?

[Jordan]

But if, if Mariah wants to do that, I would love that. But if she wants to know, like, obviously she might change her mind when we're, you know, halfway through. Whatever. I know a lot of times the secret gets messed up and people slip because, like, either, like, a family member will know or the doctor. And sometimes when you're doing like checkups and stuff, they accidentally say something. But like, I would love for it to be a surprise.

[Heath]

Isn't there ones where the, the doctor doesn't tell? They only tell, like one person, whoever's setting it up right.

[Zane]

For agenda reveal, one person.

[Jordan]

Sometimes it'll like, slip, you know, And.

[Zane]

I always get like, when you see people doing the gender reveals and like, I'm over, like, I would be like, it's gotta stop. I can tell it has pink powder inside of it.

[Heath]

Like the residue from the.

[Zane]

Or like, the cake. Like, you're already looking at the corner of the cup cake. You're like, it's pink, like, or whatever. I.

[Heath]

It's.

[Zane]

I feel like my brain would just. It would have to be something where it's just like, give me a envelope and let me open it.

[Jordan]

It seems to me like more gender reveals go wrong than right.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

The amount of fails that I see.

[Matt]

I'm like, nuclear bomb pink.

[Jordan]

It just seem like, boom, it's going to go wrong.

[Zane]

I think it's because of the rise of the Internet. That's why gender reveals are.

[Heath]

Yeah. They see the videos are like, I.

[Zane]

Want something viral sucked into the videos where it's like, I'm your meemaw, and I think you're gonna be a boy.

[Heath]

Oh, it's my favorite.

[Zane]

And it's just like, what kind of.

[Matt]

No, but they're going cr. I see the ones where they fart and the fart.

[Jordan]

No, no, it's not.

[Matt]

You guys have not.

[Jordan]

Jordan, there's no way.

[Zane]

It has to be like.

[Matt]

No, I've seen that one. The fart one is crazy. Like, they. They go all in some.

[Heath]

I would do.

[Matt]

But how are you gonna hide the gender of your baby? Like, how would you buy the baby items? You know? Well, you would just get everything androgynous.

[Zane]

You know, get greens and, like, you.

[Heath]

Also don't have to wait till it comes out. You can find out a few months before, like, and then you prepare. No, you want to wait till it comes out.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Heath]

Oh, okay.

[Jordan]

But, like, you. You can have diapers and all sorts of, like, that goodies and stuff. Like, you might not be able to paint the room a certain color, but you're right.

[Matt]

He mo or he or she is probably not even gonna fit in all the clothes. I. I had to wear paper clothes when I was born because clothes didn't fit me.

[Zane]

Come again?

[Heath]

I'm sorry. Paper clothes.

[Matt]

I was £4.

[Heath]

Like, a paper bag.

[Jordan]

That seemed like, like, dad lore.

[Heath]

Yeah. Oh, my God. I think. Jordan. I think they did have clothes. It's just. No, I think they saw you differently.

[Zane]

Coffee filter. Like, this is. This is nice.

[Matt]

My mom said that no clothes fit me. Like, it was all too big on me. She said the hospital gave. Gave me paper clothes.

[Zane]

Just a stapler. Like, do we have any more paper plates? All right, we're out.

[Heath]

Give you sides of the holes in with yarn. Just start making it tighter.

[Zane]

Oh, boy. Let's crinkle. It up. Make it a little soft.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zane]

All right. Okay. No judgment. No judgment.

[Heath]

Yeah. We listen and we don't judge.

[Matt]

I fit in one hand. One hand.

[Jordan]

What was your weight?

[Matt]

Hold me. Four pounds. I was like a baby dog.

[Zane]

Oh, my God. Were you preemie?

[Matt]

I was a preemie.

[Zane]

How much earlier?

[Matt]

Six months. No, my, my. I was supposed to be born on the 4th of July, and I was born on June 16th.

[Zane]

Okay, okay.

[Heath]

Oh, no.

[Zane]

You were born on the 4th of July Freedom ring. And you got the cool.

[Matt]

Supposed to be.

[Heath]

Fourth of July is a fun birthday.

[Matt]

It would have been.

[Jordan]

He wasn't supposed to be named Jordan, but while his mom was giving birth, she looked up and saw Michael Jordan win on the TV in the hospital room. It was like.

[Zane]

Like, let's do Jordan.

[Heath]

My.

[Matt]

On my birth, the whole cheese pizza came in the room. I got a Chicago Bulls hat, and they put it on my incubator because I was, like, in a glass.

[Zane]

Do you know what game that was?

[Matt]

Yeah. If you look up June 16th, like, it was a finals in the NBA finals. Yeah.

[Zane]

Badass.

[Matt]

Yeah. But I didn't inherit anything from him.

[Jordan]

You got his height.

[Zane]

They finally sold his house. Jordan. Michael Jordan. I saw, like, he spent $27 million to build, and someone bought it for, like, 9 million.

[Jordan]

And they built, like, back when 27 million is probably the equivalent of, like, 60 million today.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Heath]

I don't know why no one bought it and just, like, built something, like, do something else with it.

[Zane]

It's not that nice of a mansion.

[Heath]

No, I understand that, but just, like, split it up into pro. I don't know. You could make your money back.

[Zane]

I blow down the whole thing. Well, it just looks. It's such a timepiece because it's such that mid-90s. Like, I would just split up the.

[Heath]

Properties and, like, make use of the one giant house. No, no, I understand that, but, like, knock it all down and then split up the properties. Can't you do that? If you. If it's.

[Zane]

Sure, yeah.

[Jordan]

But if it's in an area that, like, is, like, mansions, is it really.

[Heath]

Far away from everything else?

[Zane]

It's in Chicago, but I think they're going to turn into. Someone's gonna make it a Airbnb or, like, an event space where you can go stay at Jordan's house. Like, I. That's what I. Why somebody bought it. To make the place, like, a collector's item or turn it into Graceland or something.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zane]

Where you can go walk around it and see where Jordan lived.

[Heath]

And you. You pay like 50 bucks to go visit it.

[Zane]

But his house in Space Jam is gorgeous. That house I love.

[Heath]

Oh, yeah.

[Zane]

Classic. Just adorable. American man.

[Heath]

That's the one with like the wood everywhere, no?

[Zane]

Yeah, yeah. It's just like that white. It looks like the father of the bride house.

[Heath]

It's gorgeous.

[Jordan]

Where does. I'm sure he has another mega mansion.

[Zane]

Somewhere, but multiple properties, probably.

[Jordan]

He hasn't been in this house for how long?

[Zane]

Long, at least. I would say 10 years.

[Heath]

Damn.

[Matt]

But just that ain't his house.

[Zane]

George Foreman just put up his house for sale in Texas.

[Heath]

How much?

[Zane]

It kind of looks like Michael Jordan's house. Or it's just like one of those McMansion builds where it's like, let's make a room.

[Jordan]

I love that.

[Zane]

This massive. And put. It looks like someone made it on the Sims where it's like, who signed off on this? Apparently George Foreman isn't doing well.

[Jordan]

I love that people are calling them McMansions.

[Zane]

Oh, yeah. Because it's like a faux mansion. You know, like a mansion is. And then McMansions are like these quick build.

[Jordan]

They're. They like, when you see it, you're like, holy. Like it's a mansion. But then you're like looking at it and there's just like zero thought and effort that went into the home. You've got like, rectangular windows with like a half oval moon above it. And just quickly there's like, circle. It just like.

[Zane]

There's no, like, cohesive floor plan tying the home together. There's no balance. It's just like big room, another big room.

[Matt]

Like, they didn't look at the property and be like, the sun's gonna come from this side, so we gotta put the window.

[Heath]

It's like they made multiple houses and just like glued them all together almost bad.

[Zane]

Like. And it's just faux, you know, like a gable is. It's where like the Route 2 roofs meet. And like, a proper mansion has all of these real gables because there's rooms there.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zane]

McMansions will put a gable. Gable, gable to make it have this sense of depth.

[Jordan]

But it's nothing for like, it's just.

[Zane]

And they'll put like a. Like a fake air Venture event thing or like, you know. Yeah. Nothing's there.

[Matt]

Y'all talking like you aren't gonna end up in a McMans.

[Zane]

Into a charming home.

[Heath]

Yeah, yeah. Renovate it. Like, put a little, like, make it make shutter.

[Zane]

Shutters that aren't real. Shutters too. I never understand that.

[Jordan]

No. What pisses Me off. When people have a banister balcony. That is it. It's nothing. Yeah, it's a like the fake, fake balcony like makes me so mad.

[Zane]

Yeah, it's like above the door and they'll have this like balcony. But you can't. There's no door to enter, no access to. It's like a Popeyes balcony. You know Popeyes always has a balcony on the side and it's like we're never. No one can get there.

[Heath]

Yeah. Make it a real balcony. At least to make it like.

[Zane]

I just want these barn doors to go away. Stop putting barn doors.

[Heath]

Oh, that'll go away soon.

[Zane]

Especially for a bathroom like that smell. Get right out there.

[Heath]

Like my mom has that.

[Matt]

Oh, I like them.

[Zane]

All respect. I know a lot of people out there have them, but I don't know why they have taken off in so much.

[Heath]

I think, I think it's just. It's like just the look.

[Zane]

It's Pinterest. Someone's like, that's new. That's kind of fun. Please.

[Heath]

And they suck too. Like if you put it. Push it all the way in and it's. Yes.

[Zane]

It gets off track.

[Heath]

It gets started there.

[Zane]

Yeah, yeah. Mine's loud.

[Matt]

It's like I was gonna say mine on my house don't have wheels anymore. So it's just like, oh, this is dragon wood.

[Jordan]

Do you like pocket doors?

[Zane]

Yes, I do love pocket doors. Pocket doors are great.

[Jordan]

Love me a pocket.

[Zane]

I have pocket doors at my parents house. What's the pocket door for our bathroom?

[Jordan]

The door goes into the wall.

[Zane]

Yeah. Oh, that's nice.

[Jordan]

I do love but I don't like the one that has a tiny little latch thing. Like when you're trying to like get the.

[Zane]

Oh, ours don't even work at my parents house. You just gotta. If it's shut, someone's in there.

[Heath]

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[Jordan]

I. You might think they're tacky. They probably are tacky. But I love secret doors that go to rooms that are like, you. You don't know they're there.

[Zane]

Like a bookshelf. Secret door.

[Jordan]

I love.

[Zane]

Yes. Yeah.

[Jordan]

I think I want one one day. I love it. But, like, some people do it, and it doesn't look good. Your house has to be done professionally and to where it still matches the home. Because sometimes people do it. It's like, it looks like you're trying to hide something behind it.

[Zane]

Right. Your house has to be big enough to where somebody can, like, figure out. Or it has to be, like, in a confusing place where you did not realize there was a room there. If you went into a space or a home and you're like. And there's obviously there's something behind there, something there, because it doesn't make sense. Yeah. It has to work.

[Jordan]

And then you, like, slide what you like, pull one book down and it.

[Matt]

Do you got one in mind? Are you gonna do one?

[Heath]

But I want Heath. I want it to spin.

[Matt]

Oh, you got it. You got to do the.

[Zane]

I wanted to spin, and I wanted to spin quick. Yeah, quick.

[Matt]

The Austin Powers.

[Heath]

Yes. We were looking at a house, remember, like, a long time ago, there was, like, that secret poker room.

[Jordan]

I'm trying to remember.

[Heath]

That was, like, a secret door. You don't remember that?

[Jordan]

Kind of.

[Matt]

My grandpa built two houses, and one of the houses is an exact replica of my house house. And I have always thought about, like, I know every room in that Person's house. Yeah, where they are, where they're going. It'd be the ultimate break in for me.

[Zane]

Oh yeah. My first house I ever grew up in. That house is like, it's the same floor plan, but it's like eight different ones in a neighborhood. It's always home. I'm always looking at houses for sale because I just love seeing what people.

[Heath]

Did with the floor plan.

[Zane]

And I just like, like love figuring it out.

[Heath]

I like looking at homes just to see what they did to their house because like, it's really hard for me to like look at a space and be like, what can I do with this? I always have to like look at pictures or look at like another house, do this, see what they did.

[Jordan]

Also, the only thing I want in a future home is a sunken living room. I want the drop down conversation pit levels a mandatory.

[Zane]

That was. There was a floor plan in a neighborhood near ours that had sunken living rooms.

[Jordan]

Like super tacky and out and like a lot of people hate them. But I just like.

[Heath]

You'll most likely have to build one.

[Jordan]

Just like start digging and just kind of. Yeah, carve one out. But yeah, I love them. I think they're so cool.

[Zane]

I love a mud room. Yeah, mud room. Like a mud room is like a space that's usually in between. It's like your back door side of your house. Garage area.

[Jordan]

It's where usually has like a washing machine in it and you hang your coat.

[Heath]

Oh, that's what a mud room is.

[Jordan]

Take your shoes off in there.

[Heath]

Washing and dryer machine. Pretty much room with all the cleaning towels.

[Zane]

There's nice built in like cabinetry stuff to where it just like it's where you hang everything up but has access.

[Jordan]

To leave the house. So you would like walk through there.

[Heath]

Got it, got it, got it. Okay.

[Jordan]

If you come in like you're wet, it's raining, you kind of like you walk in, you take your shoes off, take your like coat off and like before going into your house.

[Heath]

Got it.

[Matt]

There was no mud rooms in Florida or mud. Just a big ass front.

[Jordan]

Which is crazy. There was mud everywhere. I know.

[Matt]

That's insane. Yeah, we just had big ass front door.

[Heath]

All of our pantries connected to the outside. That's my pantry connected to the outside for some reason.

[Jordan]

Oh, yours did?

[Heath]

Yeah. You would think that there would be like a washer dryer there, but our washer dryer was in the garage. We had a little section garage, but that one's supposed to have. That's supposed. That was supposed to lead outside, but I think they blocked it off with a wall.

[Zane]

There was an interesting question somebody posted on Reddit, like, ask Reddit the other day. He goes, what's something that. That the poor. The poor and the rich don't have, but the middle class has? And it was like, garage, like, refrigerator is like one.

[Heath]

Yep.

[Zane]

Also lawnmowers too. Like, if you're so rich you don't have someone if you're so poor you can't afford a lawnmower. That one. What was the other one? Oh, just flying. Just flying a plane or two. Or just commercial air travel.

[Heath]

Commercial air travel?

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

I thought you were gonna say this one. And this is like my favorite. And I think about it all the time. It's what's classy if you're rich, but trashy if you're poor?

[Zane]

Is it supposed to be reversed?

[Jordan]

No, like things that, like, if you're rich and you have this, it's super classy. But if you're poor and you have it, same exact thing. It's trash.

[Heath]

A lazy river.

[Zane]

Poor people don't have a lazy river.

[Jordan]

I'm just gonna read like a few examples that people posted. Keeping a bottle of liquor in your office.

[Zane]

Okay.

[Jordan]

The most expensive thing you own is a really old car.

[Zane]

Oh.

[Jordan]

Being on a first name basis with a judge.

[Zane]

Oh, that's a good answer.

[Jordan]

Having other people raise your kids.

[Zane]

Damn, this is crazy.

[Jordan]

Day drinking.

[Zane]

Wow. Yeah.

[Jordan]

Walking around all day in a bathrobe. This one.

[Zane]

So good.

[Heath]

Good.

[Jordan]

Florida.

[Zane]

Damn.

[Matt]

We're not that. Making.

[Jordan]

Making your own alcohol.

[Zane]

Yeah, yeah.

[Heath]

Yes.

[Jordan]

Crazy.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Having a wedding in your yard.

[Zane]

W y.

[Jordan]

Filing for bankruptcy. Animal.

[Heath]

Wait, that's really classy. If you're rich, filing for bankruptcy, it's.

[Jordan]

Like something really rich people do as.

[Heath]

Like a way to get out of something.

[Jordan]

Yeah, it's horrible. Cheese as a meal.

[Matt]

There's nothing wrong with that.

[Jordan]

Stealing from the middle class.

[Zane]

Clever. Clever.

[Jordan]

Smoking. Smoking something as simple as that. Like.

[Zane]

Yeah. If you're in a big ass mansion, though, you can have a cigarette. It's pretty nice. Yeah.

[Jordan]

Anyway, I just. I think that's like a really funny thing to, like, think about.

[Heath]

Yeah, they're. They're coming out with a Jerry Springer documentary.

[Zane]

Oh, interesting.

[Heath]

Very interesting.

[Zane]

He was mayor of Cincinnati for a while, right? He was, yeah, before he was Jerry Springer.

[Heath]

Before the show.

[Zane]

Yeah, he was like. He held office, I think.

[Heath]

Oh, my God. I didn't know that. I thought literally the first time anybody ever heard of him ever was that show.

[Zane]

Jerry Springer was. Yeah, he was mayor Of Cincinnati.

[Matt]

No, he wasn't.

[Zane]

Yeah. What? Yeah, he was. He was the mayor of Cincinnati from 1977 to 1978.

[Matt]

And then he made the show.

[Zane]

And then he made the show, Dan.

[Heath]

He really went complete opposite. He was like, that's crazy.

[Zane]

He did it like almost 20 years out or. No, like 12 years after he did it. But is Jerry Springer still alive? Oh, no, he did die. He died.

[Heath]

He died.

[Zane]

He died last year, April 27, 2023.

[Jordan]

No.

[Heath]

How did we not hear about that?

[Zane]

That I feel like I did, because I feel like the last time I talked about Jerry Springer was when he died.

[Heath]

But you know what, guys? I bet you we talked about this. We've probably talked about his death when it happened.

[Matt]

But that is the craz. That's the craziest.

[Zane]

He went to Northwestern Law School and he was a lawyer and he became active in politics, working for the campaign of Robert Kennedy. In 1968, he was mayor of Cincinnati. 77.

[Heath]

I wonder if it's going to be a hit piece.

[Zane]

I think he was like, pretty well, like loved, wasn't he? Like, was he that.

[Heath]

Yeah, but you never know behind the scenes.

[Matt]

Like, his name is on the JFK papers.

[Zane]

Maybe. Maybe.

[Heath]

Because I'm sure, like that that was a toxic work environment. I'm sure, like that whole.

[Matt]

I'm excited to see our celebrity start running for office. Like, we had Arnold Schwarzenegger. Like, like, are we gonna see.

[Jordan]

Justin Bieber is gonna be running for, like, mayor?

[Zane]

So he couldn't. I don't think he could.

[Matt]

I think he could. Schwarzenegger did.

[Heath]

To run.

[Jordan]

That's like young. Like give me like a. Like an age that they're not above right now. Like a 30 year old.

[Heath]

What's that little kid that was in that movie room? Jacob Tremblay, 100.

[Jordan]

I could see him running for like Congress.

[Zane]

Like, Clay Aiken was in Congress, wasn't he? For a bit.

[Heath]

McClay.

[Jordan]

Clay.

[Heath]

Clay Aiken.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

American Idol guy.

[Zane]

Wasn't he a congressman?

[Matt]

Well, when he was in Congress, he was just Mr. Aiken. Oh, he dropped the Clay.

[Jordan]

He should be a chiropractor.

[Zane]

Clay.

[Jordan]

A kid like Dr. Aiken.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Like, that would be like a great field for him to go into.

[Matt]

I could see Austin Butler, like just anyone. If Arnold Schwarzenegger had no, like, he just kind of ran like he did. Just run. You know, it would have to just.

[Zane]

Be someone who's able just to get their sleeves up and like down to small talk with anyone. You kind of have to have the ego for it. I want to say, like, Matthew McConaughey has gone back.

[Heath]

He's a good one. He's a guy. I feel like he could, I could see him.

[Zane]

He has to take a stance on things. Matthew McConaughey's always like, hey, you know, it is what it is. And it is what it is. We're like, sorry, we need a stance.

[Heath]

Whatever. Whatever's happening, he's gonna, he's just gonna.

[Zane]

We're just looking for green lights here. By my, by my book. Green lights. That's just.

[Heath]

Yeah. No, he would actually be a terrible congressman.

[Zane]

Just be like, okay.

[Heath]

Oh, that's how it is. All right.

[Zane]

We're gonna be like a mayor or something like that of, like, Austin.

[Jordan]

He was super into, like, you know, his Texas hometown.

[Heath]

Yeah, he would be loved, definitely. Yeah.

[Zane]

Yeah. I could see someone like that.

[Heath]

He would try his best to take care of the people.

[Zane]

It'd be interesting. Kim Kardashian, like, try to run or something.

[Heath]

Like, I just don't think people would vote for her.

[Zane]

I would vote for Calabasas or, like, representing the congressional district of that whole area. Maybe, maybe.

[Jordan]

And people would eat that. They would love it.

[Zane]

You could see every conference, Keegan trying to run something in la. Definitely something like that.

[Matt]

I'm voting, I'm voting for them.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Matt]

I'm voting for Kim. Yeah.

[Zane]

I gotta see who, like, who she's running against. Like, if that person actually does feel way more competent for the job than her. I don't know. But if you're able to, like, flip a community around and get them excited about stuff and make things happen. Yeah, sure.

[Heath]

I want to feel part of the community.

[Jordan]

I know. I want to.

[Matt]

Saying, you should run.

[Heath]

I, I, I'm trying. I need. Gotta get back into it.

[Matt]

We'll get your platform up.

[Heath]

Yeah, stuff.

[Zane]

Did you see Carry On?

[Jordan]

No. That's a new flight movie, right?

[Heath]

Yeah, it was a fun movie. I, I love Tara Egerton, though.

[Zane]

Oh, God. I know. I, like, get so envious.

[Jordan]

What's it about again?

[Zane]

Basically, like, an evil guy. Jason Bateman's in it. It's action. It's a TSA agent who's, you know, the movie, like, phone Booth where.

[Heath]

Or, like, flight plan. It's like, very good.

[Zane]

Is here telling him he has to, like, get a baggage through airport security, and he's like, I'm try to save the day and just goes down at the airport. It's good, it's good.

[Heath]

It's a Christmas action movie.

[Jordan]

Okay.

[Heath]

But it's not too Christmassy. It's just happening during.

[Zane]

They could have made it a little bit more Christmasy. They could have just enhance the decoration.

[Heath]

I'm sure there was a whole conversation where they were like, we can't make it too Christmassy. Let's just make it where it's happening.

[Jordan]

Die hard Christmasy.

[Heath]

Yeah.

[Zane]

Yeah. It's not like too Christmy, but I mean, there's.

[Heath]

I mean, it definitely puts you in the Christmas spirit.

[Zane]

It.

[Jordan]

Okay.

[Heath]

You know, it's like, it's happening on Christmas.

[Jordan]

It's so crazy. You used to be able to, like, walk somebody all the way up to the gate.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Get onto the plane.

[Zane]

Like you could. Oh, when?

[Jordan]

I wish I could go back in time and like, just experience that one time.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Would you just have to go to the year 2000?

[Heath]

That was right before, right? Every nine, 11.

[Zane]

Yeah.

[Heath]

I think you got to go to the gate.

[Zane]

Go to the gate. Yeah.

[Heath]

That's wild.

[Zane]

Wow. My mom and she'd come back from business trips. We'd pick her up and we'd be there and we'd have flowers and stuff. That's.

[Matt]

Yeah, that's crazy. Now it's just like drop off, buy from the car through the window.

[Jordan]

You got.

[Zane]

You can't park here. You gotta move or. The love of my life, she's getting on a plane. I need to tell her I love her.

[Heath]

Go get her. Go get her, kid.

[Zane]

Just like, I love you.

[Matt]

Get your laptop out of the bag.

[Heath]

There has to be a scene like that in one of the, like, later movies. I love you.

[Matt]

I was on the plane the other day, and not the other day, but the last time I was on the plane. You know, the snack trays that come. Someone went to use the restroom while the snack tray was coming, but they refused to, like, I'm going to let this tray, like, go down.

[Heath]

Yeah, it makes sense.

[Matt]

So they stood and followed the tray.

[Jordan]

All the way behind them.

[Matt]

Behind.

[Heath]

That's a little weird. Yeah.

[Matt]

The lady, like, she's like. She turned and she's like, I'm sorry, but you're going to have to return to your seat until we finish, like, the service. And she looks at the people next to him and it's like, can I just stand here and stands in the, you know, the airport seats just in front of this guy. Just in front of him for the entire duration of the snack thing.

[Zane]

What?

[Matt]

Just like him right here with just a body.

[Zane]

So annoying.

[Matt]

Yeah. But she was like, very, like, you don't mind if I stand here, right? Like, it was crazy.

[Heath]

That's weird.

[Matt]

It was insane.

[Jordan]

Would you have said, Would you have said, yes, I mind?

[Matt]

Yeah, I, I wouldn't have.

[Heath]

I also wouldn't. I wouldn't feel safe either. I'd be like, oh, this weirdo is gonna hijack this plan. Like, anything like that. I'm just like, oh, we're being hijacked.

[Zane]

Oh, yeah. I would just be so annoyed knowing that, like, if this is gonna escalate, I. Hopefully we don't have to, like, land somewhere.

[Matt]

It was just giving me the vibe of the, like, stand up 30 minutes right when the plane, like, touches down. And like, you're like, in the back and standing up.

[Jordan]

Like when people, people two rows or a row behind me are trying to beat me. I can't do it. Just.

[Zane]

Yeah, wait your turn.

[Jordan]

Just wait, wait. You have to get down and wait for the bags around the carousel. Anyways.

[Zane]

I love doing the. Look at everybody else waiting. Like, get a load of this guy.

[Heath]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Just embarrass them.

[Matt]

Are you guys always trying to, like, look at them and like, oh, you embarrass them.

[Heath]

You, like, non verbally embarrassing?

[Matt]

Yeah, all the time.

[Heath]

Oh. Oh, yeah.

[Jordan]

I always get this one.

[Heath]

I always get a little anxiety when the, the cockpit opens. You know how they always have like a, a stewardess or in front of there as the captain's like, using the bathroom. I, like, my heart just is beating.

[Jordan]

Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.

[Heath]

Get back, get back in the cockpit. Who knows? What if some, like, what if someone like me is just waiting, waiting to rush.

[Jordan]

They look at you for staring and they're like, sir, well, that, What a.

[Heath]

Fun way to end the show.

[Zane]

Really? Like, no. 2025 is just gonna be our year.

[Heath]

Yeah, dude, 2025 is gonna be like, we are gonna.

[Jordan]

It's gonna be all of our years. Guys.

[Heath]

Guys. Expectations we're executing there, we're gonna, we're gonna be, we're gonna be very successful. We're gonna be thriving. We're gonna be men. We're gonna, we're gonna eat good.

[Jordan]

Yes, we are.

[Heath]

We're gonna feel good. Feel good. We're gonna, we're not gonna let any. We're not gonna take from nobody.

[Jordan]

And we're gonna stick to our New Year's resolutions, everyone.

[Heath]

Yes. My nails, My nails are gonna look like, like, like, just normal. No, I, I, I want long nails. Like, I want, like, cat nails.

[Zane]

Yeah, long.

[Heath]

Yeah, I want, I want, I want my news resolution by next year to be able to scratch my them back.

[Zane]

I'm able to touch my toes.

[Heath]

You. You can't now.

[Zane]

No, I can't. I've never been able to.

[Heath]

Oh, no. Matt, you gotta stretch.

[Zane]

I know. It's all right. My hamstrings. I downloaded an app where it's like, if I do this stretch routine every day, apparently.

[Heath]

Oh, no. How much did you pay for it?

[Jordan]

25Amonth.

[Heath]

Oh, no.

[Zane]

But I feel like if I paid for it, I know I'm gonna use it, so I do it every.

[Heath]

Well, I hope. I hope. What the. What are the reviews, y'all?

[Zane]

This work reviews. Really? I love it, y'all.

[Jordan]

I touched my toes. That's it for the episode. Thank you so much for watching. Make sure to tune in to our Patreon. Patreon.com Zane and Heath. We do a bonus episode every single month. We do a live Q and a every single month. We also keep these cameras rolling. You get an extended cut of every single episode. Early access patreon.com Zayn and Heath.

[Heath]

Good job, Heath.

[Jordan]

All right, love you guys.

[Zane]

Bye. Ryan Seacrest here.

[Jordan]

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