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What 40 years of research tells us about how to cultivate good relationships in our lives.

World-renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction, Dr. John Gottman has conducted over 40 years of breakthrough research with thousands of couples. He is the co-founder of The Gottman Institute and Affective Software Inc. as well as author of over 200 published academic articles and author or co-author of more than 40 books, including The New York Times bestseller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.

Dr. Julie Gottman is the Co-Founder and President of The Gottman Institute and Co-Founder of Affective Software, Inc. A highly respected clinical psychologist and author, she is sought internationally by media and organizations as an expert advisor on marriage, domestic violence, gay and lesbian adoption, same-sex marriage, and parenting issues. She is the co-creator of the immensely popular The Art and Science of Love weekend workshop for couples and she also co-designed the national clinical training program in Gottman Method Couples Therapy.

In this episode we talk about:

how to talk (and listen) to your partner in moments of conflict
what to do before you start trying to solve a problem together
why “there’s no such thing as constructive criticism”
the details of John’s research findings, which have allowed him to predict with stunning accuracy whether a couple will get divorced
how the Gottmans themselves do when it comes to operationalizing their findings/advice
how and why betrayal occurs
when a couple should consider separating
the role mindfulness can play in healthy relationships
and the role of humor in relationships.

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How Not to Ruin Your Relationships | Drs. John & Julie Gottman