← 10% Happier with Dan Harris
10% Happier with Dan Harris
How to Handle Discomfort, Uncertainty, and Overwhelm | Meditation with Kaira Jewel Lingo
00:14:59
All this month, we’re sharing custom guided meditations from our teacher of the month, Kaira Jewel Lingo, exclusively available at . Like any good drug dealer, the first taste is free – so today, we’re giving you a sample of what you can expect...
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This is the 10% Happier podcast. I'm Dan Harris. Happy Sunday, everybody. Hope you're having a good weekend. We're bringing you a guided meditation today from Kyra Jewel Lingo, who's an amazing meditation teacher. So some context here. We're now creating guided meditations to go along with all of our Monday Wednesday episodes. The idea is that we want to help you remember all the great stuff that you learn in these amazing conversations that we post. And meditation is a great way to sort of pound the wisdom into your neurons. These meditations are only available for paying subscribers over on danharris.com, but today we're giving you one for free. It's the classic drug dealer strategy. You know, give a dose for free until we get you hooked. But we're, I think, a lot, lot more helpful than your average drug dealer. Before we dive in, just a quick reminder that I'll be doing a live meditation retreat up at the Omega Institute north of New York City at the end of October. It runs from October 24th to 26th. This is a much more relaxed and enjoyable version. It's not a Zen death march or anything like that. We call it meditation party. My friend 7A Selassie and Jeff Warren will be there also this year for the first time, another friend of Hosu Jones Corte. It's going to be great. You can Sign up@eomega.org or I will put a link in the show notes. We'll get started with a guided meditation from Kaira Jewel Lingo right after this. I just got back from my annual 10 day silent meditation retreat, which I do with Joseph Goldstein up at the Insight Meditation Society, which is in central Massachusetts. This year, the cottages where I stay were booked up for the first first part of my retreat date. So I actually got an Airbnb in town nearby and it was a super successful, easy experience. I found a place that was perfect. My friend and I were staying there together. During the retreat, the host and I messaged back and forth. She was incredibly kind. The house was called the Purple Rooster, was super idiosyncratic and perfect for a retreat. I think the neighbors, when they saw us doing hours and hours of walking meditation, might have thought we were a little weird. But anyway, just another example of why I love Airbnb. It's super easy to use their app to find the right place for you and then you can chat directly with the host. And this was definitely the case at the Purple Rooster. And if you think about it, there are really two opportunities here. It's great to stay in an Airbnb when you're traveling and your home could go on Airbnb. You've put a lot of time and attention into making your home comfortable, so why not host your home on Airbnb while you're traveling? Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com/host this episode is brought to you by Choiceology, an original podcast from Charles Schwab. It's hosted by Katie Milkman, an award winning behavioral scientist and author of the best selling book how to Change. Choiceology is a show about the psychology and economics behind our decisions. I can say personally that I 1 million percent vouch for Katie. She is an incredible scientist. She's done so much work that informs what we now know about how to make behavior change or have it change in our own lives. She's been a guest on this show. She's not only incredibly smart and accomplished, but also really warm and a great speaker who's able to articulate complex and important ideas in simple ways. On the show, which again is called Choiceology, you'll hear true stories from Nobel laureates, authors, athletes and everyday people about why we do the things we do. You can listen@schwab.com, podcast or wherever you're listening to this podcast.
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Most of us are conditioned to either push discomfort away or distract ourselves from it. Uncertainty, especially, can feel overwhelming or even threatening. But there's another way. Instead of resisting or reacting, we can learn to sit with what's difficult and allow it to simply be. With mindfulness, we can bring tenderness and curiosity to our discomfort, gently welcoming it rather than fighting it like a kind parent soothing a distressed child. Mindfulness helps us stay present and connected even when things feel unclear or unsettled. Let's explore this together. Find a comfortable position, allowing the body to relax and open. Feel the solidity and support of the earth beneath you and let yourself rest into that grounding. Trust the earth to hold you gently connect with your breath. Let it be just as it is, flowing in, flowing out. Steady, reliable, effortless. No need to change or manage it. Simply follow it. Let your attention move through the body, noticing and releasing any areas of tension your jaw, shoulders, belly, hands. At the same time, notice any areas that feel spacious or simply neutral. Let those sensations support you. Before we touch into what is difficult, it can be helpful to ground ourselves in a sense of connection. Bring to mind a place, person or being, real or imagined that helps you feel safe, supported or at ease. Let Yourself. Feel what it's like to be in the presence of this refuge. Let these feelings infuse your body, helping you build inner resources. Now I invite you to bring to mind a situation or moment that has felt uncomfortable or uncertain recently. Not something overwhelming or traumatic, but something that lingers or unsettles you. It could be a decision you're unsure about, a conversation that didn't go the way you hoped, or a feeling of not knowing what comes next. Allow the discomfort or uncertainty to gently come into focus. Let yourself feel how it shows up in your body, maybe as tightness, restlessness, heaviness, or a sense of agitation or stuckness. You're not trying to fix it, just noticing, allowing. If at any point this becomes too intense, feel free to pause, open your eyes, look around, and connect with your environment. Stretch or shift your posture. You can always return to this practice when you feel ready. With each breath, invite yourself to stay close to this feeling. Feeling of discomfort. Name it gently. Uncertainty is here. Discomfort is here. Just like greeting an old friend, Notice what happens as you acknowledge it without needing to change it. Let the breath hold you as you sit with what's hard to sit with. While part of you may want to run away from the pain, mindfulness can help you give it space. Feel yourself opening to accept and befriend this discomfort to whatever extent you are able. You might whisper inwardly. It's okay not to know. It's okay to feel unsettled. Explore what it's like to welcome this discomfort as part of your human experience. Not a mistake, not a problem to solve, but something to be with. Now notice if there's any judgment or resistance around what you're feeling. Can you soften toward that too? Offer it some kindness, like cradling a part of yourself that's just trying to make sense of the unknown. If it helps, you can even place a hand over your heart or belly, grounding your awareness through touch. You could say, inwardly, my dear discomfort, I see you. It's okay for you to be here. I'm here with you. I will do my best to take care of you. Let yourself express whatever arises for this part of yourself that may often get pushed away. Now you can offer it the care it needs. Let yourself rest in this space of not knowing without needing to resolve anything. There's a deep strength in staying with the question, in allowing the answer to ripen in its own time. You might ask gently, what might this discomfort be trying to show me? Is there something I'm learning or being called to understand more deeply and then simply listen. There's no need to rush to a conclusion. Trust that even silence is part of the response. Let the breath continue to hold you. Let yourself be exactly where you are. No pushing, no pulling, just being with what is Discomfort and uncertainty are not enemies, they are teachers. When we turn toward them with mindfulness and compassion, they can reveal insights we might otherwise miss. In your daily life, when discomfort arises or uncertainty feels overwhelming, see if you can simply pause and recognize it. This is discomfort. This is not knowing. Feel where it lives in your body. Greet it with presence. This gentle awareness gives you space to respond instead of react. You can slowly begin to bring movement into your body. Now wiggle your fingers or toes. Maybe take a deep breath or shift your posture. If your eyes are closed, gently open them. You've done something courageous today, choosing to stay present with what's uncomfortable and unclear. This is how wisdom grows. Thank you for your practice.
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Thank you, Kaira Jewel Lingo if you want to get more of these guided meditations that come along with all of our episodes, you can head on over to danharris.com and sign up. Speaking of signing up, don't forget to check out eomega.org where you can sign up for the live meditation party I'll be doing with 7A Selassie and Jeff Warren and Afosu Jones Corte at the end of October. I'll put a link to that in the show notes. Finally, I want to thank everybody who worked so hard to make this show. Our producers are Tara Anderson, Caroline Keenan and Eleanor Vasily. Our recording and engineering is handled by the great folks over at Pod People. Lauren Smith is our production manager, Marissa Schneiderman is our senior producer, DJ Cashmere is our executive producer, and Nick Thorburn of the band Islands wrote our theme.
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Sam.