MYSTERY PLAYHOUSE: MURDER THREATENED and THE NORTHS GET WIRED MR AND MRS NORTH

Summary

1001 Radio Crime Solvers: MYSTERY PLAYHOUSE – "Murder Threatened" & "The Norths Get Wired"

Host: Jon Hagadorn
Episode Date: October 11, 2025
Featured Stories: "Murder Threatened" (Mystery Playhouse, featuring Mr. and Mrs. North) and "The Norths Get Wired" (Mr. and Mrs. North radio episode)

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Overview

This special episode of 1001 Radio Crime Solvers showcases two classic radio detective stories from the golden age of radio. Both feature the witty, married detective duo, Mr. and Mrs. North. The first story, "Murder Threatened," plunges the Norths into a pre-announced murder plot at a dinner party, while the second, "The Norths Get Wired," throws them into the dangerous world of secret recordings, mistaken identity, and narcotics smuggling.

Host Jon Hagadorn sets the scene by describing the heyday of radio drama and the enduring appeal of quick-witted detective teams. Listeners are treated to suspense, sparkling banter, and classic radio intrigue.

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Story One: "Murder Threatened"

(Mystery Playhouse – Mr. and Mrs. North)

Main Plot

Wilbur Wills visits Jerry North's office with a bizarre plea: to prevent (or at least solve) his own murder, which he is certain his nephew Ray and Ray's wife Irene will commit that very night over a $20,000 debt. The Norths join the Wills family at their home, leading to a tense dinner, a potential murder attempt, and a final twist.

Key Discussion Points & Plot Developments

• [06:00] The Setup:
  Wilbur Wills insists he will be murdered for refusing to pay off Ray's debt. Rather than call the police, he hires the Norths to be witnesses, stating,

  "I want the murder solved...I thought you two would be the ones to solve it." – Wilbur Wills

• [07:31] Motive & Suspects Clarified:
  Wills explains the imminent debt default and Ray’s threats, establishing multiple motives among family members.

• [08:15] Family Tension at Dinner:
  The dinner devolves into accusations and outbursts between Ray, Irene, and the Wills. Jerry and Pam North observe the dysfunction and threats:

  "If you wake up some morning with a knife in your stomach, don't say I didn't warn you." – Ray

• [10:53] A Violent Past Emerges:
  Mrs. Wills reveals Ray once strangled a puppy, highlighting his potential for violence.

• [13:11] Nighttime Suspense:
  The Norths keep vigil as things get increasingly spooky, complete with creaking stairs and mysterious noises in the house.

• [15:04] Comic Relief & Anxiety:
  Mrs. Wills displays a pawnshop gun, obtained without a license. She accidentally discharges the weapon, nearly hitting Pam.

• [17:19] Gunshot Rings Out:
  Another shot is heard from the study—Ray is found dead, apparently by suicide.

• [18:32] Suicide...Or Murder?
  Jerry quickly deduces that Ray did not kill himself, but was murdered:

  "He was shot in the heart from the front... the position of the shot is very awkward for suicide." – Jerry North

• [19:25] The Norths’ Ruse:
  Pam devises a plan to bluff the murderer by claiming they saw someone leave the study, hoping to rattle the killer into a confession.

• [20:25] The Trap is Set:
  The Norths confront the family, accusing Mrs. Wills. She becomes flustered, providing shaky alibis.

• [23:03] Culprit Revealed:
  In a private confrontation, Irene (Ray's wife) blurts out a confession to Mrs. Wills, believing her to be a witness. Irene’s motive: to secure insurance money and protect her lifestyle.

• [24:52] Dramatic Arrest:
  The Norths stop Irene from attacking Mrs. Wills as the police arrive, closing out the mystery.

Notable Quotes

• Pamela North:

  "Sometimes, darling, what you don't know does hurt you." (19:32)

• Jerry North:

  "Promises in this house aren't worth much." (17:25)

Memorable Moments

• Mrs. Wills buying a gun "just to frighten people with."
• The bullet that knocks off Pamela’s earring rather than striking her.

  "The bullet went in the wall next to Pammy. Uh. Oh. What’s the matter, Jerry, darling, you have only one earring." – Jerry North (16:28)

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Story Two: "The Norths Get Wired"

(Mr. and Mrs. North radio episode)

Main Plot

What starts as Mrs. North’s desire to record a romantic message with her husband in a sound studio turns into a dangerous game, as the wrong record falls into their hands, leading them into the world of gangsters and narcotics.

Key Discussion Points & Plot Developments

• [33:46] The Recording Studio:
  The Norths enter a recording booth for fun, with comedic banter from the quirky attendant "Happy."

• [37:47] Ambushed!
  On the cab ride home, they’re shot at, suggesting the record is valuable to someone.

• [39:11] The Wrong Record:
  Back home, they discover they have a record labeled “Animal Imitations,” which contains coded underworld dialogue about "snow" (narcotics).

• [42:11] Enter Mrs. Claney:
  The glamorous and dangerous owner of a well-known night club appears at the Norths' door, demanding her record. She is evasive, armed, and determined.

  "You know, you two are either very smart or very dumb. I’m not sure yet." – Mrs. Claney (43:40)

• [44:22] Investigating the Studio:
  The Norths break into the darkened studio, only to find it on fire and the owner, Jerrems, murdered—an apparent attempt to cover up evidence.

• [49:35] Robbery at Home:
  Later, a burglar strikes, seeking the same record, but Jerry had cleverly switched the label.

• [51:35] The Happy Dust Connection:
  Sergeant Mullins reveals "Happy" is addicted to "powder," confirming the studio’s link to drug trafficking.

• [52:21] The Final Showdown:
  Mrs. Claney again confronts the Norths, this time at home, gun drawn, cornered by Jerry’s deductions.

  "Snow is quite a common expression for narcotics." – Jerry North (53:29)

• [54:09] Justice Delivered:
  Pam incapacitates Mrs. Claney with a well-timed strike using a phonograph album (Tchaikovsky!), ending the standoff.

• [54:37] Resolution:
  The record, with incriminating evidence, sends Mrs. Claney away for murder and racketeering. The Norths lament the loss of their romantic recording.

Notable Quotes

• Mrs. North:

  "Jerry, what now? Our voices." (39:01)

• Mrs. Claney:

  "I don’t take the stuff. I just sell it. So you’ll find my aim is reliable." (53:55)

• Pam (on solving the case):

  "We better go home and go to bed, darling. But it’s all there." (47:27)

Memorable Moments

• The comic misadventures in the studio, with Jerry’s failed attempts at poetry and love declarations.
• The shooting and wild chase through city streets.
• The clever use of mislabeling records to stay a step ahead of dangerous criminals.
• Pam’s resourcefulness in physically disarming a murderer.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:29] – Pamela North drops by Jerry's office and the mystery with Mr. Wills begins.
• [07:09] – Motive and threat at dinner table are exposed.
• [15:04] – Mrs. Wills' gun accidentally fires; the night turns dangerous.
• [17:19] – Gunshot in the study; Ray is found dead.
• [18:32] – Jerry detects foul play: “He didn’t kill himself. He was murdered.”
• [19:25] – Pam devises their critical ruse to expose the murderer.
• [23:03] – Irene confesses during a confrontation.
• [33:46] – Jerry and Pam record their voices, setting off the second story’s chain of events.
• [37:47] – The Norths are followed and shot at in their cab.
• [39:11 & 41:00] – The Norths play the mysterious record labeled "Animal Imitations."
• [43:00] – Mrs. Claney’s armed confrontation at their apartment.
• [44:41] – Norths enter Jerrems' studio, discover fire, and a body.
• [49:35] – "Happy" is caught, revealing the narcotics connection.
• [52:21] – Mrs. Claney’s final desperate attempt to recover the record.
• [54:09] – Pam subdues Mrs. Claney with a record album.

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Tone & Style

The show’s tone reflects classic radio drama: suspenseful but laced with wry humor and marital banter. Pamela and Jerry North riff constantly, using playful sarcasm and light quips even in the face of gunshots.

"Jerry, you’re dead."
"I am not. We did hit that lamppost."
– Pam and Jerry North (38:39)

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Summary for New Listeners

This episode encapsulates everything wonderful about classic radio sleuthing: sharp dialogue, cliffhanger suspense, eccentric secondary characters, and plots that twist right to the last moment. The Norths approach detective work with charm and humor, entangling themselves in danger but always finding a clever (and civilized) way out.

The first story, “Murder Threatened,” provides a classic drawing-room murder that turns on family secrets and human greed; the second, "The Norths Get Wired," is a rollicking adventure through the urban underworld, filled with codes, gangsters, mistaken recordings, and a dash of romance.

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Final Word

If you delight in crisp, character-driven detective tales with equal parts danger and repartee, this double-feature with Mr. and Mrs. North is a treat from start to finish. The marriage of suspense and comedy, plus a glimpse into vintage radio’s golden age, is a reminder why these stories still captivate audiences today.

Transcript

[A]

Morning Zoe. Got donuts.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

That may have been too much feeling. Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty Liberty Liberty Liberty Savings Very unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts. Good evening, this is Sergeant X. Despite the fact that murder is definitely not considered a nice pastime, some of our best people have been known to indulge in it. Their motives can be just as sordid as those of their social inferiors. Yes, your pampered blue blood may sometimes kill for gain like even the lowliest ruffian. As you will hear tonight in the Mystery Playhouse. Tonight we welcome back to the Mystery Playhouse stage two of our favorite guests, the famous young couple of crime detection, Mr. And Mrs. North. The Norths. Pamela and Jerry, to you. Although apparently, just like any of a million or so other young married people manage to have the most extraordinary things happen to them over and over again. In fact, life with the Norths has never been known to contain a dull moment which undoubtedly serves to set them aside from the other married people quite decisively. Jerry north is in his publisher's office as the curtain rises. And at the moment is contemplating the fruits of a hard day's work. Namely home, wife and dinner. As a matter of fact, it looks like he's starting to head that way right now. Hello, darling. I didn't expect you. What brings you here?

[B]

My yellow handbag.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yes. It doesn't match this hat. Well, so I left it home. It has all my money in it, and my feet are tired. Darling, I walked down, but I don't feel like walking home. So I dropped in here to let you take me.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You see, Jerry, the purse was in the yellow bag, but I took the white bag on account of the hat, like I told you.

[A]

It's all right, sweetheart. You don't have to go into such a long explanation for a nickel. Coffee.

[B]

Oh, it's not only a nickel, Jerry. I was shopping for the salesman. Looked so snooty when I discovered that I didn't have my purse that I can't decide whether I want you to go back and give him $7.89 or a punch in the nose.

[A]

We'll settle for the 789. I've had a hard day. Now what? Yes?

[B]

Mr. Wilbur wills to see you, Mr. North.

[A]

Do I know him?

[B]

No.

[A]

Well, tell him to come back tomorrow. We're finished for today.

[B]

Well, I did tell him, but he says it's terribly important.

[A]

What's it about?

[B]

Just a moment. He says murder.

[A]

Tell him we don't want any.

[B]

What is it, Jack?

[A]

Oh, just some crackpot wants to see me about a murder.

[B]

Who?

[A]

Nobody's. Probably just a gag to get in to see me. Hello? Ms. Merrimack?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Tell him I'm busy. Tell him I'm dead. Tell him I'm out of town. I want to go home.

[B]

Maybe you want to see him. Jerry.

[A]

I'm tired and I'm hungry.

[B]

Mr. North. Mr. W. Wants to know if you and Mrs. North will have dinner with him tonight.

[A]

Tell him the answer is no. What'd he say?

[B]

He wants to know if you care to go with him now or if he can pick you up at your home.

[A]

Look, what do I pay you for? Get rid of him.

[B]

I'm afraid I can.

[A]

Okay, then keep him there. We'll go out the back way and down the freight elevator.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Come on, darling. I don't feel like entertaining any crackpots tonight. Except you, of course. Let's go. Mr. North rides the freight elevator. Fine business.

[B]

Well, you could have at least talked to Mr. Wills, Jerry.

[A]

No, sweetheart. He'd have talked to me, and I didn't feel like listening.

[B]

It might have been important.

[A]

Well, he can come back tomorrow now, right through this side door, and we can get out of the building before he. Mr. And Mrs. North. Hello. Allow me to introduce myself. The name is Wells. Wilbur Will. The name is mud if you don't stop haunting me. And not a ghost of a chance. You get it? Haunting, ghost. Say, why am I laughing? I'm very unhappy.

[B]

Are you?

[A]

Yes. Murder's a nasty business, especially when it strikes so close to home. Well, I'm warning you, if you don't leave me alone, it's going to strike very close. This isn't a joking matter, Mr. North. I'm prepared to pay good money if you catch a murderer for me. But we're not professional detectives. It's all right. He's not a professional murderer.

[B]

What's it all about, Mr. Wills?

[A]

Simple. I want the murder solved. From what I've heard, I thought you two would be the ones to solve it.

[B]

Well, who's been killed?

[A]

Nobody yet.

[B]

I beg your pardon?

[A]

I simply mean the murder hasn't been committed yet.

[B]

Oh, that's what you said.

[A]

But it will be tonight. That's why I want you to come with me. I thought it would help if you were present when it happens.

[B]

When it happens? But, Mr. Wills, you can't just sit back and let things like that happen. We ought to try to prevent it.

[A]

I'm afraid that's impossible. I know Ray and Irene.

[B]

Who are they?

[A]

Ray's my nephew. Irene is his wife. And you think they're going to murder someone tonight? I'm sure of it.

[B]

Whom are they going to murder?

[A]

Me. What? Yes.

[B]

But we mustn't let them.

[A]

My dear Mrs. North, when somebody wants to kill somebody, it's almost impossible for somebody else to prevent it. There are so many ways to kill and so many opportunities.

[B]

Why don't you call the police?

[A]

They think I was crazy. Besides, if they did protect me now, Ray would get me some other time. And they can't lock him up, not until he does something.

[B]

But when he does something, it'll be too late.

[A]

Precisely. What makes you think he'll kill you tonight? The note is due tomorrow. Note? My nephew Ray, that is. Signed a note for $20,000. It's due tomorrow. But he hasn't the money, wants me to give it to him. I've made it clear to him I won't help him. But he's coming tonight to make one last plea. And when I turn him down again, he'll be in a fury. He threatened me last time. This time he lacked.

[B]

If I were you, I'd give him the money.

[A]

Then he'd always have me under his thumb. Anytime he wanted anything, all he'd have to do would be to threaten me.

[B]

I see what you mean.

[A]

No, I can't give in and I can't stop him. But I can get revenge. If you'll help prove he killed me and get him convicted.

[B]

I'd rather prevent the murder.

[A]

You can't.

[B]

We can try. Jerry, let's accept Mr. Will's invitation to have dinner with him.

[A]

With me and my wife and my nephew and his wife. Okay, Mr. Wills, you win. You have Pam interested. You know, Pam, someday you're going to be the death of me. No, Ray, not a single penny. The way you and that spendthrip wife of yours throw money around.

[B]

Ray, you just going to sit there and let me be insulted?

[A]

Who's just sitting here? Now listen, uncle, just because you're a pinch penny old miser is no reason to expect everyone else to be the same. I keep my money. Yes, and it doesn't do anybody else any good, not even you. We're young, we have a right to. Now don't start that again.

[B]

Now, now, everyone, must we carry on like this at the table? Remember, we have guests. Oh, it's quite all right, Mrs. Wills. Jerry and I don't mind, but it's bad for the digestion. I read an article that said more stomach trouble is caused by arguments then by pastry. And you know how that can distress one. State of mind, that's the important thing.

[A]

Sure, sure. Fine state of mind. I should be in with $20,000 to raise and you and uncle hanging on to more than you know what to do with.

[B]

Well, if you'd speak nicely to your uncle instead of shouting at him, you might have a better chance. Sugar catches more flies than vinegar, you know.

[A]

Okay, okay. Uncle dear, will you please lend me $20,000?

[B]

I think it's a fine thing when a man's own relatives won't help him. What do you expect Ray and me to do? Starve?

[A]

Starve? You have more furs and jewelry than you need. Two cars, a swanky apartment. Sell some of those things and then maybe we can begin to talk.

[B]

The Lord helps those who help themselves, you know.

[A]

Oh, shut up with your blamed preaching. Sit down, Ray. I will not sit down. I'm getting darn sick and tired of being pushed around. Everybody else in our whole family lives better than Irene and I do. And just everybody else in the family works.

[B]

Just because Ray and I want a few Stuff simple luxuries.

[A]

All right, all right. We're extravagant. We light our cigarettes with thousand dollar bills. We. We fill our swimming pool with imported champagne. We use diamonds for paperweight. That's not much of an exaggeration. All right, all right, all right. Forget it. Don't help us. Don't give us anything. You selfish, rotten, cheap, stingy old miser. Go on, hang on to your filthy money. But if you wake up some morning with a knife in your stomach, don't say I didn't warn you.

[B]

Now, now, Raymond, must we raise our voice?

[A]

Oh, nice.

[B]

Ray. Ray, wait. Oh, dear me. Wilbur, when Raymond gets into one of those fits, there's no telling what he'll do.

[A]

I know what he's going to do.

[B]

Perhaps you should give him what he wants.

[A]

Never.

[B]

I'm terribly sorry your dinner was spoiled this way, Mr. And Mrs. North. But Ray has such a nasty temper and he can be so mean.

[A]

I warned them to expect it.

[B]

I can't help worrying when he acts like this, dear. Perhaps his bark is worse than his bite, Mrs. Will. Oh, you don't know Raymond, Mrs. North. You don't know how mean he can be. Tell them about Waffles, Wilbur. Waffles?

[A]

He was a puppy chewed up Ray's favorite jacket.

[B]

Raymond strangled him. That's what they did. Strangled him. How awful. I'm worried.

[A]

Well, Pam and I'll try to see that nothing happens.

[B]

Mrs. Wills, what can you do?

[A]

Well, when Ray calms down a bit, I'd like to have a talk with him. In the meantime, I think you two had better go upstairs and lock your door. It's useless, North. We'll see anyway. Do what I tell you, will you, please? But I tell you, there's no way. Look, you asked us to come here. It was your idea. If you want us to stay, please do it. We tell you. All right, then, we will.

[B]

And don't worry. Nobody's going to stick any knives in anybody tonight. I hope. What time is it, Jerry?

[A]

11 o'. Clock.

[B]

You can't stay here all night. Knock on the study door and see if Raymond will talk to you now.

[A]

It's no use. I tried a few minutes ago. He didn't even answer.

[B]

Maybe they're not in there anymore. Maybe they went out the side door into the garden.

[A]

I think we'd have heard the door open, perhaps.

[B]

Jerry, do you really think that Raymond will try to kill his uncle?

[A]

No, I think Mr. Mrs. Wills are letting their imagination run away with them. Still, there's no use in taking chances. But if they keep their door locked.

[B]

How about the window?

[A]

Right about this window. We'd see or hear anyone trying to get to it.

[B]

You know, darling, I wonder.

[A]

I do too. I wonder how we always get into things like this. By now I'm beginning to think it must be habit.

[B]

Well, if we prevent a murder, it was worth getting into. Golly. Is it still in this house? Quiet. It's spooky.

[A]

I don't know anything.

[B]

What? I mean. Oh, so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

[A]

Undoubtedly.

[B]

Wait a minute. What was that?

[A]

What was what?

[B]

I heard something.

[A]

Maybe somebody dropped a pin.

[B]

No, Jerry, I heard something.

[A]

Oh, you went through all that before.

[B]

Jerry, somebody's moving around upstairs in the hall. Listen.

[A]

I don't hear anything.

[B]

Well, I did. Come on, let's go see.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

We better be quiet.

[A]

All right, you're. The stairs, Captain Howell. All right, I'll go first.

[B]

Glad we left a light on in the upstairs hall. Can you see anyone up there?

[A]

Not yet.

[B]

Jerry. What was that?

[A]

The stairs creaked.

[B]

I hope nobody heard.

[A]

I hope not. Hey, stay where you are for a minute. Don't move. Wait a minute. There is somebody up there.

[B]

Can you see?

[A]

Nobody can hear him. Somebody's coming down the hall. Listen. Wait. He gets around that corner so I can see him, and then I.

[B]

There he is. And she. Mrs. Wills with a gun in her hand.

[A]

She hasn't seen us yet. Stay back against the wall and let's see what she does.

[B]

Oh, stairs again. Oh, there you are. Stay right where you are, do you hear? Don't move. Don't move an inch or I'll shoot.

[A]

Okay, but what's the idea? Mrs. Wills?

[B]

Oh, is that you, Mr. North?

[A]

Yes. Oh, I thought you said you'd stay in your room.

[B]

But I heard something. At least, I thought I did. I came out to investigate.

[A]

I want you not to unlock your door.

[B]

But I heard something. And you know, he who hesitates is lost. I thought I'd better come out and see. Did you leave the bedroom door unlocked? I. I don't know. I believe I did. Well, come on. We better get back there.

[A]

That's right, dear.

[B]

Do you think that. Oh, dear. Oh, my goodness. Oh, hurry. We are, my dear, we are. You know, I've been so distress. I do wish Wilbur weren't so pigheaded. If he'd only give in to Raymond. Oh, but he couldn't. He just couldn't. Well, here we are.

[A]

Good. There he is, on the bed.

[B]

Is he, Jerry? Is he?

[A]

I don't know. Well. Oh, it's. You woke me Up.

[B]

Oh. Were you asleep?

[A]

Must have been. Or you couldn't have awakened me, could you now?

[B]

But how could you sleep? I mean, if you expected to be.

[A]

Killed, Staying awake wouldn't help. When I'm awake, I worry shall I sleep?

[B]

But I can't sleep when I worry.

[A]

I can't either. Then I can't worry when I sleep till that even sings.

[B]

But how do you get sleep?

[A]

Simple. I just try to stay awake. Oh, Linda, what's that you've got in your hand?

[B]

What? Oh. Oh, this? It's just a gun.

[A]

Where did you get it?

[B]

Why, in one of those pawn shop places. I've been so worried about you lately, dear, I figured I'd just better be prepared.

[A]

You have a license for it, Mrs. Wills?

[B]

Oh, no. The man said I wouldn't need any. He was such a nice man, so helpful and considerate. The pawn shop man? Yes. First he did say something about a license, but when I promised not to shoot anybody unless they tried to kill somebody first, he said it would be all right if I paid him. $100, that is. Wasn't that nice?

[A]

Yes, wasn't it? So it's $100.

[B]

I beg your pardon?

[A]

Never mind. But you better let me have that gun, and then please stay in this room. And don't unlock the door again.

[B]

Oh, I can't let you have my gun. I might need it anyway.

[A]

Melinda, you wouldn't know how to shoot it.

[B]

Oh, I don't want to shoot it. I wouldn't think of it. As a matter of fact, I don't believe it will shoot. I just want it to frighten people with.

[A]

I think you'd better give it to Mr. North, my dear.

[B]

But I don't want to. And if it won't shoot? How do you know it won't shoot? Well, it's so old and rusty. Of course, the man assured me it would shoot, but. Oh. What was that?

[A]

The man was right. Oh.

[B]

Oh, my goodness. Oh, my heavens. Oh, dear. Here, Mr. North, take it quickly.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Oh, my. Oh, my. What did I hit?

[A]

Well, nothing. The bullet went in the wall next to Pammy. Uh. Oh. What's the matter, Jerry, darling, you have only one earring.

[B]

What?

[A]

Have only one earring.

[B]

Oh. Oh.

[A]

Well, sweetheart, how do you feel now?

[B]

I'm still a little shaky, but I'll be all right.

[A]

That's good.

[B]

Now what do we do?

[A]

Oh, just sit here and wait some more. Raymond came out when he heard the shot, but he didn't want to talk. And he's locked himself in the Study again? Irene went out for a walk.

[B]

Jerry, you know, I don't believe Raymond means to kill his uncle. He was just tall.

[A]

I think you're right. The whole thing is just imagination. But we might as well.

[B]

Gollies. That wasn't imagination.

[A]

Somebody playing with guns again. Only this time I'm afraid they weren't playing. Come on. It came from the study.

[B]

But the wills promised to stay in their room.

[A]

Promises in this house aren't worth much. Well, here it is. Let's see what's locked.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

Hello in there. No answer?

[B]

No.

[A]

Bit of breaking the door. Look out, Pam. There we are now.

[B]

Oh, Jerry, look.

[A]

Yeah, I see. So Raymond did kill somebody after all.

[B]

Yes, himself.

[A]

Okay, but hurry, will you? Sure. We'll be right here. Goodbye. The police will be right over, Van.

[B]

Oh, good. Because it's not going to be easy keeping the wills and Irene out of the study.

[A]

Don't you think they all acted rather strangely when we told them Raymond was dead?

[B]

Well, the wills seemed relieved.

[A]

Yes, and Irene seemed to take her pretty coolly, don't you think?

[B]

Yes, but she's crying now. I guess she was just done before.

[A]

Yeah, I guess so.

[B]

You know, Jerry, it's strange that Raymond killed himself, though, isn't it? Somehow he didn't seem the type. Of course, he was in bed, but.

[A]

He didn't kill himself. Somehow, Raymond didn't kill himself. He was murdered.

[B]

Are you sure, Jack?

[A]

Pretty sure. He was shot in the heart from the front. But from the position of the shot, he had to hold the gun in a very awkward position to do it himself.

[B]

I see. Well, in that case, Jerry, were there any powder burns?

[A]

Yes. Why?

[B]

I have a hunch. I'll bet I know who killed him.

[A]

Good. But can you prove it?

[B]

Let's see. If we make believe that we saw what happened, that we saw someone leaving the study.

[A]

That wouldn't fool anyone.

[B]

Well, how do you know?

[A]

Well, I mean, it wouldn't fool the murderer because the murderer knows what really happened in detail and wouldn't believe us unless we gave enough details. Well, we'll give details, but we don't know the details. Did the murderer run from the study or just creep away? Did he or she go toward the front of the house or the back? Did he or she?

[B]

Oh, don't worry, Jerry. We'll have plenty of details.

[A]

But will they be the right details?

[B]

Of course not, Jerry. But that won't matter.

[A]

What do you mean, it won't matter?

[B]

Well, there are some things the murderer doesn't know. And sometimes, darling, what you don't know does hurt you.

[A]

Huh? What's that? What's that?

[B]

Mr. Noah, did you say Raymond was murdered? Are you sure my husband was murdered?

[A]

Yes. How do you know? Well, first of all, the angle of the shot is wrong. You mean he couldn't have shot himself? I mean, it's very unlikely. But not impossible? No, not impossible. I see. But the angle of the shot is null. There's something else. What? Well, you and your wife claim you were in your bedroom when the shot was fired, and Raymond's wife claims she was outside taking a walk. That's right. Well, Pam and I were also outside where we could see the side door leading from the alcove off the study.

[B]

We heard the shot, and a moment later the doors from the alcove opened and one of you came out.

[A]

What?

[B]

One of us? Yes. Why, my dear Mrs. Knox, do you realize what you're saying? I'm simply telling you what we saw. We saw one of you come through the door, turn and lock the door, look around, and then hurry to the back of the house and go in the back door.

[A]

We followed and found you left the back door open, so we came in, but you'd already gotten upstairs.

[B]

Then we went in the study and found Raymond's body. Then you think you know who killed my poor husband? I think we do. But, my dear Mrs. North, if you saw anyone, it must have been you. Mrs. Wills. I.

[A]

Yes, Mrs. Wills, you. That's absurd, Mr. North.

[B]

Indeed. Accusing me of murder.

[A]

How dare you.

[B]

Yes, how dare you. Don't you realize you're a guest?

[A]

I'm sorry if we've done wrong by Emily Post, Mrs. Wills, but we saw what we saw. You lie, sir. Melinda was upstairs with me the whole time. I don't know what your scheme is, but I warn you, I'm not going.

[B]

Oh, now, my dear, let's not lose our temper. But the nerve.

[A]

The confounded nerve. Mr. North. Mrs. North, can you give me one good reason why my wife would kill Raymond?

[B]

To keep him from killing you.

[A]

You have no right to say.

[B]

Really, dear, let's not discuss it anymore. I have a headache. I'm going upstairs and lie down until the police get here.

[A]

Very well, my dear. Now see what you've done? You've given her a headache.

[B]

Well, Mr. Wills, it was your idea that we come out here.

[A]

But it wasn't my idea that you lie and badger my wife. Now, now, Mr. Wills. Temper, temper, sir. You pay for this. I warn you so. Will you remember what your wife said? What indigestion.

[B]

Here'S her room, Jerry.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Who's there?

[A]

The Norths.

[B]

What do you want?

[A]

We'd like to talk to you, but.

[B]

I have a headache.

[A]

Well, take an aspirin and open the door. It's important.

[B]

All right. Just a minute. Jerry, I hope our plan works.

[A]

Oh, it's in now.

[B]

Now, what do you want?

[A]

Let us in there.

[B]

What is it? Why did you lie about me? Well, we had to work fast, Mrs. Wills. The police will be here any minute. Thank heavens. They certainly won't believe that ridiculous story you told. But they'll interfere with our plan. Interfere with your plan? Their being here would. But then, if you don't want the police here, that must mean you. Oh, that is. Oh, dear. Oh, my goodness. I'm beginning to understand a few things. Oh, my.

[A]

No, Mrs. Wills, I don't think you are. But if. What is it?

[B]

Somebody's coming upstairs.

[A]

Okay, Mrs. Wills. Get in bed quickly and pretend to be asleep.

[B]

Hurry.

[A]

Do as I say.

[B]

What are you doing?

[A]

Just turning out the light.

[B]

What is this?

[A]

It's what we've been waiting for, I hope. Come on, Pam. Let's get behind the screen.

[B]

All right. Now. There are footsteps in the hall.

[A]

Yeah?

[B]

There's tapping at the door. Look, Jerry, this is it. Who's there? What do you want? What is it? I want to talk to you. Oh, Ray. Yes? What did you see downstairs? What? You were in the alcove off the study when Ray was killed. Did you see how he died? No, I. It isn't true. I wasn't there. The north saw you. That's not so. Perhaps. What did you see? Nothing. I wasn't there. Okay. Just see that you stick to that story. I will. It's the truth. And honesty is the best policy, you know. Well, you just see that you stick to it, because if you don't. Yes? Oh. Oh, so that's it. Oh, my. How stupid of me. Of course. And I thought.

[A]

Oh, dear.

[B]

What's the matter? You killed Raymond. You were afraid he'd have to sell your furs and jewelry and things. But now his insurance will cover the debt. Of course.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

You killed him. Don't talk so loud. You don't know. You weren't there. You just said so. But you did. You did. Well, how are you going to prove it? Well, I warn you, if you so much as open your mouth when the police get here. I don't. I promise. Well, you better keep that promise. No. Why should I take the chance? What do you mean? You won't get a chance to Talk to the police. I'm going to. No, no.

[A]

Stop it.

[B]

Let's go.

[A]

Drop that letter.

[B]

Oh, my arm. Drop it.

[A]

That's better.

[B]

What's that? I guess it's the police. Better late than never. Good.

[A]

Get them up here and let them take this wildcat off my hand.

[B]

My goodness. I'll get even with you for this.

[A]

All of you.

[B]

You're done now, Irene. Let's not say anything we'll be sorry for. Oh, shut up. Oh, what manners. Yes, Jerry? I thought it was Irene when you said there were powder burns. Because Raymond was shot from the front. And I didn't think he'd let anyone else get so close to it.

[A]

Mm. And you proved it too. You know, darling, sometimes I think you're pretty clever.

[B]

Sometimes?

[A]

Mm, sometimes.

[B]

What about the other times?

[A]

Oh, Jerry, darling, let's not say anything we'll be sorry for, shall we? Well, Jerry and Pam, nice to have had you with us once again. We'll be running into you two in the near future, I'm sure, because you, Mr. And Mrs. North, are high on our preferred guest list. So goodbye. Until next time, kids. And that should be soon now. So that you can get an idea of the caliber of our next production, we take you on our customary visit. The Green Room where the players in rehearsal. Follow me, please. Come. Oh, good afternoon, Ms. Blair. Sit down.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

I called you in because I just wanted just a few words with you before the trial.

[B]

All right, I'm here. What is it, Ms. Blair?

[A]

I'm gonna be very frank with you all. The evidence in the Morrison girls case points to the guilt of Richard Olson. The coroner's jury believed him guilty. I believe him guilty. Any jury in the world would convict him on the evidence. Except for one thing. Your word.

[B]

Yes, I know he's innocent because he was with me.

[A]

That's your story.

[B]

You don't believe me.

[A]

That's beside the point. It's my job to convict Richard Olson. If he's guilty, I'll try to do that. But I said I would be frank. I haven't a chance. If you testify that you were with him, the jury will take the word of Ms. Sally Blair, the daughter of a powerful and famous family.

[B]

Yes, of course.

[A]

But it's for that very reason, Ms. Blair, that I ask you to stop and think a moment.

[B]

Think of what?

[A]

Of yourself, of your family, of your position. If it should turn out later that Richard Olson was indeed guilty, could you forgive yourself for having aided a murderer?

[B]

But he's not guilty. He was with me. Perhaps you haven't heard that Richard Orson and I are going to be married.

[A]

Married?

[B]

Yes, as soon as this farce is over. So you see, Mr. District Attorney, you're wasting your time.

[A]

I see. And you think that you, the daughter of one of the best families in San Francisco, will be happy living the rest of your life with a murderer?

[B]

Crime has to be proved. Rick will be acquitted.

[A]

Yes, I guess he will. And so, Ms. Blair, you will go that far for another thrill?

[B]

I don't know what you mean. I'm marrying the man I love. He's accused of a crime of which I know he's innocent. I will testify to that effect. Rick was with me.

[A]

Very well, Ms. Blair. May I wish you a very happy married life. And so, Rick, you're going free, thanks to Sally and her testimony. And when the trial is dismissed and you're free, you'll take her to that dirty little bar that was your rendezvous. And you'll tell her about all the things in your heart. You don't know what it is, Sally. To be free. You know, I used to sit in that cell and think about you and your portrait. Wonder if I'd ever see you again. I wondered if I'd ever finish my picture of you so that everybody could see your beauty. Darling, it'll be a great portrait. Really great.

[B]

Of course it will, darling. After we're married, you'll have all the time in the world to paint it.

[A]

Yes. Yes, after we're married. Next week. Darling, let's go down and get the license right now.

[B]

Wait, Rick. Just one thing. You do love me, don't you?

[A]

You know I do.

[B]

More than you did Maureen.

[A]

Much, much more.

[B]

I just wanted to be sure. Rick.

[A]

Yes?

[B]

Rick? Why did you do it?

[A]

What?

[B]

Why did you kill her?

[A]

Sally.

[B]

Oh, don't look so startled. I knew all along. I just wondered why did it?

[A]

Let's not talk about it. Let's leave it as dead as Maureen is. Let's be happy and not talk about it ever. Or maybe you'd rather not go through with this now.

[B]

Of course, darling. I made my choice. You love me.

[A]

I love you.

[B]

That's enough. We'll both forget Maureen if we can.

[A]

And that was the appetizer for our next main course, as served up here in the Mystery Playhouse. The finding of a girl's body on the rocks lining a stretch of ocean beach near San Francisco is the start of a strange and fascinating story of love and death. A tale that should find you right back in your seats next time when our old friend the Whistler Tells you of a wild night on Foggy Seal Rocks and the girl who was married to a murderer. This is Sergeant X closing the doors of the Mystery Playhouse. Good night. Sleep time. This is the Armed Forces Radio Service. The Adventures of Mr. And Mrs. North. The sensible thing to do on a hot summer night is to remain quietly at home with your shoes off, the radio on and a pitcher of lemonade cooling quietly in the refrigerator. That's why we find the north out strolling on this particular night. With, of course, their shoes on.

[B]

Shoes?

[A]

What about them, Nelly?

[B]

The world would be a happier place if more of them were off. More feet, more of the time.

[A]

Shoemakers.

[B]

What about them, Jerry?

[A]

They'd starve to death. Their little children would roam hungrily about the streets.

[B]

All right, the little children does it. Let's keep on walking. You hot? Uh huh.

[A]

And it isn't the humidity, it's the heat.

[B]

That ain't the way I heared it. Oh, Jerry. Over there.

[A]

No.

[B]

All right. Now we'll never know.

[A]

Never know what?

[B]

Whether your voice is really as romantic as Charles Boyer.

[A]

Huh? It's more romantic. Listen, Teddy. Heady, meet me in the Casper. Heady.

[B]

No, no, BK you can't compare them that way.

[A]

Well, how could you?

[B]

There's a studio across the street. A sound studio.

[A]

You see, I begin to understand.

[B]

Only $0.75 to record your voice and take it home with you.

[A]

I can take my voice home for nothing.

[B]

We could both make a record. A love scene.

[A]

It's too hot. Oh, Jerry, I meant to go into one of those sound booths.

[B]

Boy, a what? A voice. What magnetism. What charm.

[A]

All right, all right. Let's go, darling. Uhhuh. We'll record our voices for posterity. And will they be sorry. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, we want to record our voices. Clerk.

[A]

My friends call me Happy. Why?

[B]

Why do they call you Happy?

[A]

Why do you want to record your voices? My wife thinks I sound better than Boyer. Oh, well, maybe to her. Women is funny like that. Especially wives. Why do they call you Happy, Happy? On account of I'm always bubbling with good cheer. Happy, lead us to the slaughter. Who's getting killed?

[B]

Happy, we want to record our voices, remember?

[A]

Oh, yeah. You're the couple who want to record their voices. This way, please. In there. Thanks. What do you do, throw a switch or something? A friend of mine once had a switch thrown on him. He was never the same afterwards.

[B]

He wasn't.

[A]

The guy who threw the switch was a fellow up at Sing Sing.

[B]

Oh, a Jerry.

[A]

Happy's just joking. When do we start, Happy? When the bell rings over there, see? But ain't you gonna rehoist? I guess so, Pam.

[B]

I don't know. We've never done this before, but I suppose we'd better.

[A]

Yeah, Let me know when you're ready. Oh, by the way. Yeah? Over there on the table there's a book all about love poems. Poems about love. But ain't you two gonna make like you was in love? For the record, as a matter of fact we were. But how did you know? Mister? They always do the suckers. Go ahead fol My love is like a red. A red rose. You know, Pam, as a matter of fact, you're not like a rose at all.

[B]

Jerry, we're being recorded.

[A]

Oh, okay. My love, you have a red red. No, no, no, that's not right. Where were we?

[B]

Yeah. My love is like a melody.

[A]

Oh, that's sweetly played in tune. I never could carry a tune. Back in school, my music teacher used to ask me for a command performance in reverse. You know, to keep still. I used to mislead the other kids.

[B]

Jeffrey north, at this moment you're supposed to be making violent love to me.

[A]

Oh, sure. Come here.

[B]

In verse.

[A]

Who can be violent in verse? All right, let's see. How do I love the boy? That was a snappy answer. With bells.

[B]

I'm afraid, darling, that's all posterity is going to get.

[A]

I'm afraid that's all posterity may want. Let's go out and collect our disc. All right.

[B]

But somehow I've got a feeling that it isn't going to turn out to be one of the recordings gems of all time. Because you heckle.

[A]

I never heckle. Except on odd Tuesdays. Is today an odd. Oh, happy. Here it is. All wrapped up for the record. The name and address, please. Mr. And Mrs. Gerald North, 24 Cent Anne's Place. Collectors of rare recordings heard on appointment only. Yeah, this I hate to do, but Mr. Jerem wants I should get 75 cents from all the custom. Oh, your boss, he walk. Thanks. You don't care how you spend your money, huh? Well, you know the old saying, you can't take it with you. Yeah. In that case, don't go, Mr. North. Don't go.

[B]

Oh, I can hardly wait till we get home, darling. Ah, that's love to hear our record.

[A]

Oh, I can wait 20 years or so. Hey, our driver. Yes. Maybe you ain't gonna get home.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

We ain't alone. Of course we're not. Pam's with us. I meant in a sense, a car Is following us. Ah, record collector perhaps. Although he heard of the new masterpiece rather quickly.

[B]

Jerry, somebody is shooting at me.

[A]

Don't be selfish. At us? Not a record collector. Maybe a collector of old automatics. Driver, I hide and they ain't mosquitoes. Well, can't you speed up a bit? I can, but this pack can't. I'll take a look. They got the back window. Pam, get down the floor.

[B]

I will not. Then I'll never know what happened if.

[A]

One of these bullets hit you.

[B]

Oh, don't be so gruesome.

[A]

Don't look now, folks, but I think. What? We're going to hit a lamppost.

[B]

Jerry, you're dead.

[A]

I am not. We did hit that lamppost. I call him pal. Uh huh. Has anybody been hurt? The post.

[B]

Don't look now, darling, but we're not alone.

[A]

The crowd. They saved our lives.

[B]

They have?

[A]

Sure. Because they made it impossible for whoever was chasing us to finish the job.

[B]

What lovely people. Jerry, what now? Our voices.

[A]

Oh, we've still got them. Oh, you mean the. Oh, here it is.

[B]

Is it broken?

[A]

Let's see. Nope, not a dent in the disc.

[B]

Oh, I'm so glad. Let's go home, darling.

[A]

Right. Driver, do you think you can divorce the cab from the lamppost? Sure. Like you might say, it was only a marriage of convenience. Home. Dear old apartment 6B.

[B]

Home is where the heart is. Where the. Jerry. Standing outside of our door.

[A]

Home is where Happy is. Hello. Hello. I'll get the door open. Sorry we kept you waiting. Happy. What can we do for you? I observe you still got the record I give you. Yes, our voice. Well, I'm awfully sorry, but it ain't your voice. It isn't? I. I made a mistake. I wrapped up the wrong record. That seems a strange thing to do. Yeah, I'm always doing strange things.

[B]

Why don't we just unwrap the record and see, darling?

[A]

Sounds reasonable. Here's the wrapping paper. And here's the record.

[B]

The labels, Jerry. Animal imitations, us.

[A]

No, Mrs. North, that's my pun. That record is devoted to guys making like animals. So the Jerim studio doesn't seem to be run very efficiently. Maybe this is the right record in the wrong label. Mr. North, I give you my word of honor. I'm not sure I care to take it. We were shot at on our way home. Not by me. I am a voice to firearms. Maybe, But I still think we ought to make sure this is really the wrong record.

[B]

I've a feeling you're right, darling. I'll turn the phonograph on.

[A]

Thanks, Pam. And now the record needle. Unreasonable. Ma, we're alone. You can spill. Spill what? I got word there's been a heavy snowfall lately. Yeah. Did you also find out I had.

[B]

Hank taking off the snowplow myself personal?

[A]

Because I did. And what's more. That seems to be all.

[B]

Nothing very mysterious, darling. Just a discussion about the weather.

[A]

I wonder. Happy.

[B]

Happy Jerry. He's gone.

[A]

Must have sneaked out while we were listening to the record. I better shut the phonograph off.

[B]

That's strange. That record very definitely doesn't belong to us.

[A]

And Happy beat it as soon as we began to listen to it. Which means that.

[B]

Suppose you could say there's more in that discussion of the weather than meets the earth.

[A]

The doorbell rings. I'll see who it is.

[B]

All right, darling. Mr. Norris.

[A]

Yes? What can I do for you? You won't mind if I sit down, will you? I'm not as young as I used to be. Of course not. Please. Oh, Pam, this is Mrs. Claney.

[B]

How do you do, Mrs. Claney? Oh, but you must be.

[A]

That's right, my dear.

[B]

People call me Mark Laney. You're the owner of Mark Laney's Kitten Club. Jerry, that's one of the most famous nightclubs in New York.

[A]

I've heard of it. Have you come to invite us, appear there? Aha. You must have heard our record. Well, not exactly, Mr. North.

[B]

Although anytime, Mrs. North, and you'd like.

[A]

To come down, there'll be a ringside table waiting for you and no check.

[B]

That's very sweet of you.

[A]

Well, you're a very sweet child. The fact of the matter is, Mr. Jerrems told me you'd received by mistake a record belonging to me. I hate to bother you, but.

[B]

Oh, then it must be. Oh.

[A]

What's wrong, Pamela? Bit of tongue. She's always doing that. Aren't you, darling?

[B]

Yes, darling.

[A]

Hey, you were saying, Mrs. Claney?

[B]

Well, just thought I'd stop by and.

[A]

Pick up my record myself and save you the trouble. Oh, that's very nice of you, but we don't have your record. The only one we have is our own. How do you know it's your own? Because we played it on our phonograph. Quite a thrill hearing your own voice coming back at you.

[B]

Would you mind playing it for me? Just to be sure, Mrs. Claney. You don't doubt Jerry's way?

[A]

Oh, no, of course. And it is so late, isn't it?

[B]

So why not drop in some other.

[A]

Time earlier and we'd be Glad to.

[B]

Let you listen to our record for hours on end. But right. Right. Now, good night, Mrs. Cleaning.

[A]

Yes, good night, Mrs. Clay.

[B]

Now, wait a minute.

[A]

Having trouble with your bag? I'll take it. Donk. There. Heavy, isn't it? An inside? Why, Ma, a revolver.

[B]

Give me that.

[A]

You have a license for it? Of course I have. Good. Then you won't have any trouble reclaiming it from the police. Your bag, Mrs. Claney, and the door.

[B]

You know, you two are either very smart or very dumb. I'm not sure yet, but when I find out, come back and tell us, won't you? Good night, Jerry. Shut the door.

[A]

Delighted, darling.

[B]

Well, she wasn't very happy. Jerry, was that gun loaded to the brim?

[A]

Darling, get your shoes on again. I think we should pay a visit.

[B]

Oh, goody. To whom?

[A]

Mr. Jerrems of Jerum Sound Studio.

[B]

Are we going to return the record to him?

[A]

Why, no, darling. As a matter of fact, I think we're going to put him on record.

[B]

Oh. Streets are almost deserted.

[A]

It's late enough. I have a feeling Mr. Jerrems may be annoyed when we burst in on him.

[B]

Then let's not burst, huh? Or we have to.

[A]

I think so, darling. Well, here's the studio.

[B]

It's dark.

[A]

Funny, I hadn't expected that. The door locked home? Not yet. There was a back room to the place.

[B]

That alley, darling. Come on, Jerry. How long can you go to jail for burglary?

[A]

Oh, not very. And you meet such charming people.

[B]

Window still dark except Jerry.

[A]

I know. Smoke.

[B]

It's coming from the studio window.

[A]

I can't see. Hey, Pam, there's a man lying on a cot in the room.

[B]

I thought you couldn't see.

[A]

I can't now because flames are creeping into the room.

[B]

Jerry, we better turn in an alarm.

[A]

Stand back.

[B]

That isn't the way.

[A]

Sure it is, if you want to break a window.

[B]

What are you going to do?

[A]

That man on the cart isn't moving. I'm going in after.

[B]

Oh, you can't, darling. You wouldn't. Look nice toasted.

[A]

I've got to. He's unconscious. Darling, call the fire department while I go in there.

[B]

What are you doing? I'm going with you. Pam, I'm too young to be a widow, so I've got to make sure that you don't die anyway. Not before I do. Oh, Jerry, that smoke was awful.

[A]

It's all over now, darling.

[B]

Is he still unconscious?

[A]

As a matter of fact, I think he's given up consciousness for good.

[B]

Jerry, he's dead?

[A]

Very much so.

[B]

The smoke.

[A]

I don't think the smoke had much of a chance with him. You see, somebody had presented him with a revolver full of bullets first. Mullins? Yep. Mullins, we've identified that corpse you rescued. The name is Jerrems.

[B]

The man who owned the studio?

[A]

The same. You were kind of wasted that rescue act, Mr. Noah. No, we didn't, Mullins. You see, that fire was set for one purpose. Which was? It's hard to find bullet holes in a skeleton. Germs were supposed to be burnt completely, darling, so that it would look like accident instead of murder. Well, I guess you're right at that. Have you got any ideas on the.

[B]

Subject of who killed him?

[A]

I don't know. It may have been someone we heard him talking to.

[B]

But darling, we never heard Jerums. Or did we?

[A]

I rather think we did, Pam, but it's not much help.

[B]

Still we. We almost have it.

[A]

Except no proof, no real understanding of the motive or what part Happy played or. I don't know.

[B]

We better go home and go to bed, darling. But it's all there.

[A]

I'm sure it's all there. Where?

[B]

Why, Sergeant Mullins in the groove. Of course. Jerry.

[A]

No. Getting right up. Getting up.

[B]

Wake up, Jerry.

[A]

It's too dark. I prefer my mornings with a touch of sun.

[B]

Jerry, I heard something in the living room.

[A]

Mice. Big mice.

[B]

Uhhuh. Are you going?

[A]

I suppose so. When they start moving furniture around, stay there and get ready to scream. It's dark in here. I just stick my head in like this.

[B]

G. Jerry.

[A]

Jerry. Darling. You. You've got a neckle.

[B]

Have I got a live husband?

[A]

I think so.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Anything missing?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Try the record cabinet.

[B]

You think that. Oh, of course, the record was. Was. It isn't. Jerry, the burglar took that animal imitations record. The one that Mark Cleney and Jaron's on it.

[A]

You mean he thought he did.

[B]

But it is.

[A]

What the burglar took was a little item called the way you look tonight. Incidentally, you look all right.

[B]

Thank you, darling. But the way you look tonight is right here. And oh, the. The label sticky. You switchy.

[A]

I switchy. And isn't baby talk repulsive? I guess Mullins is indicated.

[B]

Indicated? He'll be apoplectic.

[A]

My goodness. Even when you nuts go to sleep, do you stay asleep? No, you go around getting hit by strangers.

[B]

It was in our own living room, Sergeant Mullins.

[A]

And it may not have been a stranger. Mullins was happy. Who knows the department has been looking for him. But I guess he took a powder. Uh huh. Under the circumstances, he. What did you say? I said he took a powder. That's a slang expression meaning he scrammed blue, took it on the lamb. But Mullins, suppose it isn't a slang expression. Suppose Happy really took a powder. They don't get it.

[B]

I know what Jerry means, and I sort of think Mary got it.

[A]

Mullins, we came to see Ma, not her daughters. Nice family she's got.

[B]

Little short on clothes, though.

[A]

Jerry, we're on our way. Our officer's back here. Shall we knock or we go in?

[B]

Oh, the. Oh, the North.

[A]

Did you find my record? Not exactly. Mrs. Claney, this is Sergeant Mullins.

[B]

Hello, Sergeant. Rest your arches?

[A]

No, ma'. Am. I'm from Homicide and I thought.

[B]

Oh, who's been killed?

[A]

I think a man named Jerrems. Well, it's too bad. A friend of yours?

[B]

Why, Mrs. Claney, we rather thought he was a friend of yours. Did you?

[A]

No sense in wasting time. Mrs. Claney wears happy. What makes you think this is the only place in town where he could be hiding out?

[B]

Why should he hide out?

[A]

The police want him.

[B]

Murder?

[A]

You could say that. The penalty for accessory before or after the crime is the chair, Mrs. Claney.

[B]

Oh, sorry. Hadn't realized. I mean.

[A]

You mean you hadn't realized. All right, take us to him. I don't like to let a friend.

[B]

Down, but it's murder.

[A]

I suppose friendship goes just so far, don't it? He's in the next room.

[B]

Thank you, ma'.

[A]

Am.

[B]

Now let's get him in there and see Jerry.

[A]

I hide, I hide. No copper is going to take me, you hear? No. Now, look here, young fella. I've got a big gun. See? A big gun.

[B]

Careful.

[A]

Hey, hey, don't get. Sorry, Happy, but I'll take that gun.

[B]

No, no, get me.

[A]

Go on, man.

[B]

I don't Wanna.

[A]

Lovely sucking, Mr. Noah. He's out cold. I want to take a look at his eyes. Why? Because you said Happy took a powder? Pupils like pinpoints.

[B]

Then his nickname wasn't because he was sad all the time?

[A]

That's right. Happy was only half of it. The other half was dust. Happy Dust. I certainly appreciate your asking me to come to your home with you, Mrs. North, and offering to return my record.

[B]

Jerry and I just wanted to clean up all the loose ends. Right, Jerry.

[A]

Mm. Happy's in jail and. Oh, Mrs. Claney, you'll find your record in the cabinet there. Excuse me while I fix a few drinks.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

I'll just get the record and.

[B]

Hey, sure, it's here, Ms. North. Of course, Jerry.

[A]

Here we are, darling. Oh, Mrs. Clingey, you find it?

[B]

No, Jerry. Maybe Happy stole it last night when he burgled the place.

[A]

Maybe he did, because whoever burgled us last night killed Jerrems for that record. Mrs. Clenney, you know how the record was labeled, don't you? Animal imitations.

[B]

Is that so, Jerry Locke, another gun. And Mrs. Claney is pointing it at us.

[A]

Very inconsiderate. If it went off, then.

[B]

Listen, I know that animal imitations record.

[A]

Isn'T the one with my voice on it. How do you know?

[B]

Well, I.

[A]

Because you stole it last night and tried it on a phonograph and found out I'd switched labels. Wouldn't that be how, Mrs. Clinton?

[B]

Maybe it would be not.

[A]

So what? So you burgled our apartment and therefore you killed Gerrans.

[B]

Oh, that's ridiculous. Why would I kill him?

[A]

He was blackmailing you with that record.

[B]

It must be in this. Oh, shut up, you. Now, north, what's in that record to.

[A]

Give anybody a hold over me? Snowfalls. You and germs weren't talking about the weather. Heroin, Cocaine. Snow is quite a common expression for narcotics. And you admitted getting rid of Hank from off the snowplow. Or should I say the truck delivering narcotics.

[B]

Nice figuring, narc.

[A]

Very nice. Happy was just stooge for you. You bribed him to steal the record. But dope fiends aren't very reliable, are they?

[B]

All right, they're not.

[A]

But I don't take the stuff. I just sell it. So you'll find my aim is reliable.

[B]

Unless you hand over that record. Now, where is it? Why, Mrs. Claney, it's right here in this album. Here, take it. Album and all.

[A]

Darling, you knocked a cold.

[B]

Oh, not me, Jerry. Tchaikovsky.

[A]

Uh huh. Okay, Mullen, so long. She's confessed. Police were looking for the murderer of a guy known as Hophead Hank to the narcotic squad. That record will put Mrs. Claney in the chair.

[B]

Jerry, do you realize that when Jaron's studio was burned, our recording was burned with it?

[A]

I hadn't realized. Oh, well.

[B]

Oh, well, nothing. Now I'll never know whether you're as romantic as Charles Boyer.

[A]

Darling, there are other ways of finding that out besides having my voice recorded.

[B]

As for example.

[A]

As for example.

[B]

Again.

[A]

Again. Morning, Zoe. Got donuts.

[B]

Jeff Bridges, Why are you still living above our garage?

[A]

Well, I dig the mattress and I want to be in a T Mobile commercial like you. Teach me so, Dana.

[B]

Oh, no, I'm not really prepared. I couldn't possibly at t mobile get the new iPhone 17 Pro on them. It's designed to be the most powerful iPhone yet and has the ultimate pro camera system.

[A]

Wow. Impressive. Let me try. T Mobile is the best place to get iPhone 17 Pro because they've got the best network.

[B]

Nice. Jeffrey, you heard them.

[A]

T Mobile is the best place to get the new iPhone 17 Pro on us with eligible traded in any condition. So what are we having for lunch?

[B]

Dude, my work here is done.

[A]

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