NOBODY LIVES THERE ANYMORE and TARGET BARRIE CRAIG, CONFIDENTIAL INVESTIGATOR

Summary

1001 Radio Crime Solvers – Episode Summary

Episode Title

NOBODY LIVES THERE ANYMORE and TARGET
Show: 1001 Radio Crime Solvers
Host: Jon Hagadorn
Date: September 17, 2025

---

Episode Overview

This double-feature episode presents two classic radio detective stories from the golden age of radio:

1. Nobody Lives There Anymore — A case of a vanishing husband and hotel room pulls Barry Craig into a web of deceit and murder.
2. Target (The Moving Target) — Barry helps a hapless traveler stop a criminal syndicate's scheme just before a murder trial.

Each segment immerses listeners in atmospheric mysteries, rich with period banter, hard-boiled narration, and plot twists characteristic of radio noir.

---

Story 1: NOBODY LIVES THERE ANYMORE (Barry Craig, Confidential Investigator)

Main Theme

Barry Craig investigates the mysterious disappearance of a woman's husband—and her entire hotel stay—from reality, uncovering a deeper criminal plot with deadly consequences.

---

Key Discussion Points & Plot Progression

• A Distressed Client

  • Barry Craig meets Myra Wilson, who claims she and her husband checked into the Hotel Meeker. After returning from shopping, the hotel staff claims never to have seen her (02:32).
  • Barry: "I'm a confidential investigator. I've got a lot of practice believing people." (02:45)

• Strange Events at the Hotel Meeker

  • Barry and Myra confront the hostile hotel clerk and manager, who both deny the Wilsons ever checked in (03:47).
  • They visit room 312, which no longer matches Myra’s description (05:29).
  • Barry suspects the room has been hastily redecorated: "I'm ripping myself some wallpaper... look what I found under this screen. Striped wallpaper. More wallpaper. Guess what color. ... It's blue and yellow. The kind Mrs. Wilson described." (08:06)

• An Escalating Case

  • Barry tails the suspicious clerk, who is promptly gunned down (09:01).
  • Barry visits hotel manager Roberts, finds Penny Lane (Moran’s girlfriend, a suspect in an armored car heist), and confronts them about the conspiracy. Tensions rise, hints of criminal collusion surface (10:16).
  • Penny’s flirtatious deflections add comic relief and suspicion:
    • Penny: "There wasn't a single etching in [his apartment]." (12:53)
    • Craig, narrating: "She was putting on the Paris and springtime routine... she wanted something from me, and it wasn't love." (13:01)

• Unraveling the Truth

  • Myra disappears. Barry uses a ruse to flush out Roberts, follows him to a remote house in Jersey, and finds Myra and her now-dead husband—revealed as Ben Moran, a wanted criminal (17:19).
  • Barry explains Moran’s motives: he married Myra under an alias and tried to gaslight/abandon her before his past caught up (18:09).
  • The hotel "vanishing act" was orchestrated to rid Moran of his wife without drawing police attention.

• Showdown and Resolution

  • Back at Roberts’ apartment, all key players (Barry, Myra, Roberts, Penny) confront each other. Penny and Myra both wield guns in a tense standoff (21:32).
  • Barry ingeniously exposes Myra as the real murderer of both Farley (the clerk) and Moran:
    • Barry: "She happens to have murdered the hotel clerk, Farley, and her husband as well. Girls maybe will be girls. But she wanted to be a killer." (22:23)

• Epilogue

  • Barry returns to his favorite diner, sardonically recounting the case to Willie the cook:
    • Barry: "Moran wanted to shake Myra, so he had Roberts and Farley pull the disappearing hotel stunt... But she got to Farley, forced him to tell her where Moran was hiding out, then killed Farley to make sure he'd stay quiet." (22:56)
  • Myra is arrested. Penny playfully flirts with Barry one last time:
    • Penny: "Turn around and I'll breathe down the front of it." (23:59)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "You don't have to worry about being included in the old age pension fund. You're not going to have an old age." – Barry Craig (00:39)
• "Kidnapping a room? … Like finding out this really was Mrs. Wilson's room. And that someone changed the wallpaper, the bed, the rug, while she was out shopping." – Barry (07:43-08:29)
• "But she wanted to be a killer." – Barry breaking the case (22:23)
• The "vanishing hotel" is a classic gaslighting twist, recalling urban legends and adding to the noir paranoia.

---

Timestamps for Major Segments

• [02:32] — Myra explains her predicament
• [05:29] — The visit to room 312
• [08:06] — Discovering the hidden wallpaper
• [09:01] — The clerk is murdered
• [13:01] — Barry’s inner monologue on Penny
• [17:19] — Finding Moran's body
• [22:23] — Barry exposes Myra as the killer
• [23:59] — Comic coda with Penny

---

Story 2: TARGET ("The Moving Target") (Barry Craig, Confidential Investigator)

Main Theme

A “prize chump” is sent on endless international errands by a crooked company aiming to keep him away from a crucial murder trial. Barry uncovers the scheme before a miscarriage of justice occurs.

---

Key Discussion Points & Plot Progression

• The Hapless Traveler

  • Barry meets Bertram Fenley, a mild-mannered "hotel consultant" whose job is suspiciously vague and whose travels have improbable accidents (27:49–29:10).
  • Fenley: "I was sent overseas to make diagrams of land space for building modern hotels." (29:18)
  • Fenley reveals he keeps being instructed to travel; has survived close calls, and received a telegram not to return home (30:17).

• Attempt on Fenley’s Life

  • As Barry investigates, a car drives by with a machine gun; the papers later chalk it up to a college prank (32:20–36:01).
  • Barry: "I can't see anybody machine gunning the street just to be naughty." (32:50)

• Connecting the Dots

  • Barry questions Kewpie Marino (company rep), who admits the company has no real hotel business but "big plans" (33:31–34:01).
  • Fenley's "big hotel keeper" experience is exposed as running a four-room rooming house (36:43–37:15).
  • Fenley was recruited via a radio contest run by Adrian Borislav's Advanced Theatrical Enterprises, which is a vanity scam operation (38:25–40:41).

• Love Complications

  • Fenley gets engaged in record time to Margie, a "plant" from Borislav's office (44:03–44:43).
  • Barry suspects Margie is involved: "Margie... that's my fiancée, is rather incredibly romantic... she wants to be married by a tribal chief." (44:32)
  • Barry's deduction: Margie, Marino, and Borislav coordinate to keep Fenley abroad for unknown reasons (45:08–45:22).

• The Real Scheme

  • Fenley is arrested for an alleged theft at Penn Station—a further attempt to keep him away from his hometown, Buxton Falls (46:12).
  • Barry realizes this is to stop Fenley from testifying at a murder trial:
    • "You're the only man who can place Latimer in Buxton Falls at the time he was there. That is the why of your travels." (49:07)
  • The true aim: keep the only eyewitness out of court so the mobster Stitch Latimer can beat his murder charge.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "At home in Buxton Falls, this was. The telephone rang one night... they said... Could I name 10 American presidents? ...And you won a prize, the man said." – Fenley, describing how he was lured away (37:26).
• Barry's classic wisecracking with suspects and the “dumb blonde” routines with Margie.
• "Your name, it's printed on the door. Kewpie, Moreno. Kewpie. My old lady stuck me with the name. At the time, I was too little to argue." (34:56)
• "Every guy has his racket. But Marino's had me mystified so far..." (35:11)
• Margie's rueful closing: "How bad is it for a girl in jail?" (49:48)
• Barry’s coup de grâce: "Wolf whistles... as bad as that, huh?" (49:56)

---

Timestamps for Major Segments

• [27:49] — Fenley’s introductory woes
• [32:50] — Drive-by shooting incident
• [36:43] — Fenley's real "hotel keeping" revealed
• [38:25] — The contest scam explained
• [44:32] — Margie and Fenley’s “engagement”
• [46:12] — Fenley arrested for wallet theft
• [48:05] — Barry reads the Buxton Falls Bugle
• [49:07] — The true purpose of keeping Fenley away
• [49:48–50:01] — Margie’s fate

---

Tone and Style

The stories are wisecracking and atmospheric, with Barry Craig’s dry narration, snappy dialogue, and hard-boiled yet witty perspective. Both mysteries blend suspense with sardonic humor and a touch of bittersweet romance.

---

Overall Episode Highlights

• Two classic radio mysteries showcasing detective Barry Craig at his sardonic best
• Atmospheric plots: disappearing spouses, cover-ups, and detective ingenuity
• Vintage noir banter and strong femme fatales
• Clever twists exposing criminal schemes
• Real period flavor—classic hardboiled radio storytelling

---

For more detective stories from radio's golden age, tune in every Sunday at 5pm ET!

Transcript

[A]

Introducing Family Freedom from T Mobile. We'll pay off four phones up to $3200 and give you four free phones, all on America's largest 5G network. Visit your local T Mobile location or learn more@t mobile.com familyfreedom. Up to $800 per line via virtual prepaid card. Typically takes 15 days. Free phones via 24 monthly bill credits with finance agreement, eg. Apple iPhone16128 gigabyte 8. $29.99 eligible trade in eg iPhone 11 Pro for well qualified credits. End and balance due. If you pay off early or cancel contact T Mobile.

[B]

Barry Craig Confidential Investigator.

[C]

One nice thing about being a murderer. You don't have to worry about being included in the old age pension fund. You're not going to have an old age.

[B]

The National Broadcasting Company presents William Gargan in another transcribed drama of mystery and adventure with America's number one detective, Barry Craig. Confidential investigators.

[C]

Barry Craig speaking. I was drinking myself to death this particular evening. Not liquor at Willy's Wagon. It's the coffee that's fatal. Also, I was finding out from the newspapers that chorus girls were still busy suing elderly millionaires. That a hood named Ben Moran had knocked off an armored car and disappeared. That the police were questioning his girlfriend, Penny Lane. Her picture was spread across the front page. It wasn't art, but it would sell a lot of papers. Also, we were going to have some more weather.

[D]

That don't surprise me.

[C]

That's because you're a cynic, Willie.

[D]

Do I ask you about your religion?

[C]

It was around 10:30 at night, but it looked later for the girl who came into the wagon as though it was the last stop on a trip she hadn't planned on making.

[E]

Excuse me, but can you tell me if there's more than one Hotel Meeker?

[D]

Only one I know of is around the corner from here. You tried a phone book?

[E]

Yes, I did. I must be going insane.

[C]

Hey. Hey, Mr. Craig, I've got a. She passed out.

[D]

Take her in a back room. I got the couch there.

[C]

That's fine.

[D]

Hey, sounds like she's coming, too.

[C]

Get some coffee for her.

[D]

Yeah, okay.

[E]

I'm sorry. What about fainting? My name is Wilson. Myra Wilson.

[C]

I'm Barry Craig. What's bothering you about the Meeker?

[E]

You. You won't believe me.

[C]

I'm a confidential investigator. I've got a lot of practice believing people. Clients usually try me.

[E]

Well, my husband and I got to town this afternoon. We took a room at the Hotel Meeker. After lunch, I went shopping and do a movie. Then I went back to the hotel. It looked the same.

[C]

Hotels don't change much in an afternoon.

[E]

But when I asked at the desk for my husband, the clerk said no one by that name was registered.

[C]

The clerk must have remembered you.

[E]

No, he said he'd never seen me before.

[C]

It was a nice story. Had shape, surprise, a nightmare touch. The odds were wonderful that it was a pony from the word go. Maybe that's why I walked over to the Hotel Mica with Myra Wilson.

[D]

Good evening, sir.

[C]

Mrs. Wilson would like the key to her room.

[D]

Mrs. W. Oh, back again, eh? Mrs. Wilson does not have a room here.

[C]

She checked in this morning with her husband.

[D]

She doesn't have a room here. Neither does her husband. If she has a husband, I could.

[C]

Take you apart without any trouble. Putting you together again might be harder.

[D]

Look, there's no card for Mr. And Mrs. Wilson. I never saw or heard of Mrs. Wilson before. I've been on duty all day. I ought to know.

[C]

Mrs. Wilson, you remember the lobby, the clerk.

[E]

Of course I do.

[C]

What was Your room number?

[E]

312.

[C]

Let's go take a look at it.

[D]

No, you can't do that.

[C]

Why not? Oh, that gun. Standard hotel equipment. Ollie, will you?

[E]

Hmm.

[C]

What are you doing with that gun?

[D]

Taking care of this hoodlum. Mr. Roberts.

[C]

The hoodlum's name is Craig. This is Mrs. Wilson. You manage the hotel? I do. Farley, put away that gun. Mrs. Wilson, did you see Mr. Roberts this morning?

[E]

No.

[D]

Mr. Roberts, this woman claims she registered here this morning with her husband. That's not true.

[C]

Evidently a misunderstanding. Although we'd like to go up to a room 312 if it's not occupied. I see no reason why you can't. We went upstairs. The clerk folly had been very tough. Mr. Roberts was very smooth. I didn't care deeply for either of them. I started hoping in earnest that Myra Wilson's story was true. Three twelves down the corridor. Mrs. Wilson, would you mind describing the room?

[E]

Well, there was a window over the courtyard. A double bed with a flowered cover, a dark green rug. And wallpaper. Yellow and blue, I think.

[C]

Well, that's enough. 3:12. Well, says so on the door, too. Okay, open up. Oh, there's a bed outside of that. Twin beds, not a double. Carpeting is maroon, not green. And the wallpaper dark brown. Striped it.

[E]

It's not at all the way I described it. But it is the same room. It must be.

[C]

Well, Mr. Craig, sorry to have bothered you. Let's go, Mrs. Wilson. We picked up my car and I Started driving home. That gave me a small chance to think. First thought was I'd heard the story before, only that was about a girl in Paris in 1890 or thereabouts. She'd lost a hotel too, along with her mother. The explanation there was that her mother had died of the plague and the whole thing was hushed up so people wouldn't be scared away from the city. That wouldn't work here. We don't have plagues anymore in New York. Which left what? I didn't know. But I thought it might be fun finding out. This is my house. Here's my key. Go on in and try to get some sleep.

[E]

Where are you going?

[C]

Believe it or not, I'm going to a hotel for the night. The hotel was the Meeker.

[D]

Oh, you again.

[C]

It's coincidence.

[D]

If you're still hopping on that Wilson.

[C]

Business, I'm looking for a room to sleep in.

[D]

We're all filled up.

[C]

What about 3:12? I. Thanks. I'll take it. Mind showing me to the room?

[F]

I'm not supposed to.

[C]

But you'll do it for me. I'll do it for you. That is, unless you wanted to check with Mr. Roberts first.

[D]

He's gone for the night.

[C]

Well, could it be a federal offense? What? Kidnapping a room?

[D]

I thought you gave up on that.

[C]

Well, that's right too. I forgot your room. Well, come on in.

[D]

I don't have any.

[C]

Hey.

[D]

Hey, what are you doing?

[C]

Well, I'm ripping myself some wallpaper. It's great fun.

[D]

Now, you cut that out.

[C]

And look what I found under this screen. Striped wallpaper. More wallpaper. Guess what color. Oh, you don't like to guess? All right. It's blue and yellow wallpaper. The kind Mrs. Wilson described. Funny.

[D]

You can't do things like.

[C]

Like finding out this really was Mrs. Wilson's room. And that someone changed the wallpaper, the bed, the rug, while she was out shopping. Only one question. Where's Mr. Wilson? The clerk didn't answer that one or anything else. I left the hotel for a doorway across the street. I put in time in nicer doorways, but this one was okay. It kept me out of sight until a clerk came out of the hotel and started walking. I walked after him. He led me to a dark street filled with discouraged brownstones. He started up the steps. I was maybe 30 yards from him when he opened the door and walked into Bullets. He must have been dead before he fell. All the bullets had hit him. When I got to him. It was only to confirm the obvious. I had news. I needed somebody to Tell it to Roberts was in the phone book. I always track down people that way. Maybe not very smart, but it nearly always works. Yes? Oh, Mr. Craig. Mind if I come in? Well, it's late, but come in. Thanks. Don't go any further. I'm entertaining. I'm sorry.

[E]

Hello.

[C]

I asked you not to. I said I was sorry. Now I'm not Sure. Introduce me. Mr. Craig, Ms. Lane. Penny Lane.

[E]

Penny Lane.

[C]

What do you hear from Ben Moran, Ms. Lane?

[E]

Oh, now, you mustn't believe everything you read in the papers.

[C]

Oh, it's too bad. You mean he isn't going to give you a hunk of that armored car?

[E]

What would I do with an armored car, Mr. Craig?

[C]

I see what you mean. Excuse me. Roberts. Where's Jim Wilson? Who is Jim Wilson? Myra Wilson's husband. Oh, that poor deluded girl. Not deluded. Someone changed the wallpaper in the room she had. Underneath was the paper she described. Oh, I can't imagine why or who would try anyway. Farley's really the one to ask. He's in charge of such things. I asked him. He said he takes orders from you. I'm afraid he's lying, Mr. Craig. Would you like to tell him that? I should like nothing better. Because you know he's dead. Mr. Craig, I don't think I have anything further to say to you. Too bad. I was enjoying our little chat. Good night, Mr. Craig. I suppose you need time for rehearsal. Rehearsal of what? Your story to the police. Parley was murdered, you know. I'm not surprised. Apparently he was involved in something crooked. Is that so? Why, yes. Checking Mr. And Mrs. Wilson in, then denying he'd done so. Having the room changed while they were out. It's going to be all folly from now on, huh? I'm afraid he wasn't an honest man. Anyway, from now on, he's going to be a silent one. You can load anything you like on him. But you've got to make it stick, Roberts. Otherwise it won't mean anything. Good night.

[E]

Mr. Craig.

[C]

Yes?

[E]

Mind if I come with you? No. That's nice. Night, Mr. Roberts. You know, Mr. Craig. What's your first name?

[C]

Mary. Mmm.

[E]

Nice. Call me Penny, please.

[C]

Penny.

[E]

Ooh, that's even nicer. But anyway, I was saying I don't think Mr. Roberts is really a gentleman.

[C]

Now, that's hard to believe.

[E]

Well, I'm very serious. You ought to know, Farah, you. You mustn't misunderstand. I've. I've never been up to his apartment before.

[C]

You were there tonight.

[E]

Well, that was because Mr. Roberts said he had some beautiful etchings and I love etchings, so. But you know what?

[C]

What?

[E]

There wasn't a single etching in.

[C]

We got into my car and drove away. Penny was a very beautiful woman who sounded like a half wit and wasn't. She was putting on the Paris and springtime routine, pretending she'd fallen for my manly beauty. But she wanted something from me and it wasn't love. What it was, I hoped I'd find out. Ben Moran must have been a rough playmate.

[E]

I don't know why you keep talking about him.

[C]

He fascinates me. Wanted by the police for a few murder raps, swindles, armed robberies, income tax evasions. Passing a red light.

[E]

Ben would never pass a red light.

[C]

Oh, sorry.

[E]

Apology accepted. Take me home.

[C]

Where?

[E]

27 Carlton Drive.

[C]

Okay. That's only a couple of blocks over, Penny. The moon's still beautiful. The night's young. The air is filled with the fragrance of flowers. Where's Bill Moran nowadays?

[E]

I used to be a friend of his. I'm not anymore. If you don't believe me, ask the police. And I hate you, so kindly shut up.

[C]

Yes, ma'.

[E]

Am.

[C]

Well, you're home.

[E]

Thank you.

[C]

Oh, before you go, Penny, there's something I have to ask you.

[E]

What?

[C]

Who told you to play Mata Harry with me?

[E]

Play what?

[C]

Beautiful female spy.

[E]

I think you're absolutely insulting.

[C]

I said you were beautiful.

[E]

Good night.

[C]

I watched Penny walk into her apartment house, then drove away. I thought about her. She was angry, a liar. The kind of girl who'd go very good on most desert islands. But I didn't have one. So I went home. When I got there, though, I wasn't happy. Myra Wilson was gone. Whether she'd gone on her own or had been persuaded was something I might find out sometime or other. It was a cold trail. I decided I'd try to warm it up a bit. The first step was driving uptown to Robert's house, parking opposite it, using the phone booth in an all night drugstore. I had no guarantee the gimmick would work. I didn't have much choice. Yes, Ben? I can't say anything over the phone, but come over right away. Who'd you say you were? Ben. Ben Moran, you jerk. Right away. Goodbye. I figured the phone call, if Roberts didn't have too good an ear, would make things happen. I got back to my car and started waiting. Either Roberts was going to sit tight or he was going to make a move to do me any good. Or to Mr. And Mrs. Wilson any good? He'd have to make a move. Maybe he would. I kept on waiting. Roberts must have mistaken me for Ben Moran. He made his move. He got into his car, gunned it and went away. So did I. Things were maybe picking up. We were across the river in Jersey, up a dark road to a small house whose lights picked out pieces of the dark sky. I pulled up and stopped a ways down the road from the house. Watched Roberts get out, knock and go inside. Then I started walking. I knew Roberts was in that house. I could be pretty sure a killer named Ben Moran was there. And who else I could afford to wait and find out. That is, I had thought I could. Front door was closest. I didn't bother knocking. Hello?

[E]

Mr. Craig. Oh, Mr. Craig.

[C]

You're gonna save it. There's no time. Over.

[E]

Over there near the fireplace.

[C]

Uh huh. Yeah.

[E]

He. He's dead.

[C]

He's dead. How did you get out here?

[E]

Tab at your house? I got a phone call from Jim, that's my husband I got here. He let me in. Said someone was trying to kill him.

[C]

Someone? Did you see who the shots came from there? Yeah. A door half ajar. Whoever was in the other room would have taken off soon as he heard me come in.

[E]

I. I can't really believe Jim is dead.

[C]

Start practicing. He's dead. The only thing is he's not really Jim Wilson.

[E]

What?

[C]

That new corpse, Myra is Ben Moran. Went through his pockets, found nothing but small chair. Called the nearest sheriff and got out with Myra.

[E]

Why? How could it have?

[C]

After his last job, Moran was hot. He had to hole up, pick your town for it. Married you under the name of Wilson. Maybe that was even his real name.

[E]

He had a birth certificate.

[C]

Then it was Ben Moran was his business name.

[E]

I should have known long ago. He didn't work, but always had money.

[C]

He hasn't got it anymore, but maybe Roberts can tell us about things.

[E]

The hotel manager?

[C]

Sure. He knew Moran. Helped Moran on that disappearing hotel routine. That was to get rid of you. Well, you better face up to it. Makes it easier to forget.

[E]

I suppose.

[C]

So Moran must have decided the time was ripe to start spending his dough. Had to get rid of you without the police being called in. Or even if they were called in not believing your story.

[E]

They wouldn't have.

[C]

No. But maybe we'll get them one now. They will believe in that. Good. Turn back to Robert's apartment house. But he'd made better. His car was there and so was he. Mind if we come in? I mind. We're still coming in. Come on, Myra. This rough stuff won't get you anywhere. It got us inside. How's Moran? Moran? Yeah. The man who phoned a couple of hours ago. I received no such call. Oh, stop. I made it. You? I wanted to meet Moran. I trailed you to his hideout in Jersey. Then answer your questions yourself. The police wouldn't. They'd ask you to answer them. Suppose you let me worry about them. You'd better. They're going to think you shot Moran. What for? Money? Very convincing motive. I didn't kill him. Maybe I might believe you, but the police wouldn't. And after I told them how you conspired with Moran to get rid of his wife. You couldn't prove that because your clerk Farley's dead. Don't be so hopeful. Myra can tell her story. The original wallpaper is still on the walls of 312 underneath the new stuff you plastered on. You were around when Moran was killed. All of that would add up to a nice package for a jury. You. You said you might believe me. I did. Who have you got in mind for the killing? Penny lane. No use, Ms. Lane. Your perfume's too distinctive. Come on out of that room and join us, huh?

[E]

Hello. I. I was looking for an etching.

[C]

You were looking for a lot of etchings with the Secretary of the Treasury's signature on them.

[E]

I didn't find even one.

[C]

Too bad. I'm sure Moran wanted you to have them.

[E]

And I'm going to get them.

[C]

Well? The gun loaded?

[E]

Uh huh. Barry, raise your arms.

[C]

Why?

[E]

I'm going to search you.

[C]

You better not. I'm ticklish.

[E]

Not that ticklish when there's a gun pointing at you.

[C]

Well, maybe not.

[E]

Well, you don't have the money?

[C]

Nope.

[E]

What'd you do with it?

[C]

Gave it to Myra, Mr. Craig. I asked her to hold it for me, but. Oh, it's no use, Myra.

[E]

No use at all, dear. Give me that handbag. No, I'll take it. There. I'll open it too. Barry.

[C]

Hmm?

[E]

You're a liar.

[C]

I am?

[E]

There's no money in Myra's bag. There's a gun, though.

[C]

That's why I wanted you to take the bag away from him.

[E]

That's why you what?

[C]

Sure, Myra is very good with a gun, but you.

[E]

But she.

[C]

Stop making noises and point your gun at Mrs. Wilson. She happens to have murdered the hotel clerk, Farley, and her husband as well. Girls maybe will be girls. But she wanted to be a killer. Myra was very quiet about it all. She said nothing even when the police came and Took her away. She said nothing. She was waiting for a jury and hoping there'd be mostly men on it. I'll be glad to tell you what broke the case, Willie.

[D]

I didn't ask you.

[C]

Well, I've got to tell somebody. Now, look, Moran wanted to shake Myra, so he had Roberts and Farley pull the disappearing hotel stunt on her. But she got to Farley, forced him to tell her where Moran was hiding out, then kill Folly to make sure he'd stay quiet.

[D]

I can recommend the hamburgers here. Nah, that new place down the block.

[C]

Well, anyway, the way she gave herself away was she told me her husband had phoned her at my place, told her where he was hiding out in Jersey and so on. Willie, how would her husband or anyone else have known that she was staying at my place?

[D]

They serve it with a kind of coleslaw that ain't all bad.

[C]

Isn't all bad, Willie? Nothing can be all bad.

[D]

Have another cup of coffee.

[C]

My mistake. Anyway, here I am, left without a case, without a fee, without. Hey, stop breathing down the back of my neck.

[E]

Turn around and I'll breathe down the front of it.

[C]

Oh, hello.

[E]

Hello.

[C]

But you can't say I'm left without a penny.

[B]

You have been listening to William Gargan in another exciting transcribed mystery drama from the adventures of Barry Craig, Confidential Investigator. Tonight's story, nobody lives There Anymore, was written by Louis Vattes. Next week, it's the strange story of the moving target, about which Barry Craig has this to say in next week's story, the Moving Target. A high flying globetrotter finds that sheer elbow room is no insurance for survival when a felonious blonde makes a passionate effort to bring him down to earth. Really deep down, that is. The National Broadcasting Company has just brought you an NBC Radio Network production with William Gargan starring as Barry Craig, Confidential Investigator, directed by Andrew C. Love. Heard on tonight's cast were Jerry Hausner, Joan Banks, Stanley Farrar and Doris Singleton. Join Groucho Marx or you bet your life. Tonight on the NBC Radio Network.

[F]

Let'S.

[C]

Map out this week's amazing destinations and travel tips.

[G]

Honestly, Will, I didn't plan any trips, but I did switch to T Mobile with their new Family freedom offer.

[C]

That's not the itinerary we're following.

[G]

Well, I'm departing from AT&T and embarking on a new journey with T Mobile. They paid off my family's four phones up to $3200 and gave us four new phones on the house.

[C]

Bon voyage.

[A]

Introducing Family Freedom. Our lowest cost will switch our biggest family savings all on America's largest 5G network. Visit your local T Mobile location or learn more@t mobile.com FamilyFreedom up to $800 per line via virtual prepaid card. Typically takes 15 days. Free phones via 24 monthly bill credits with finance agreement eg Apple iPhone16128 gigabyte $829.99 Eligible trade in eg iPhone credits end and balance due if you pay off early or cancel contact T Mobile.

[H]

Did you see the game last night? Of course you did. Because you used Instacart to do your grocery restock. Plus you got snacks for the game, all without missing a single play. And that's on multitasking. So we're not saying that Instacart is a hack for game day, but it might be the ultimate play this football season. Enjoy. $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees apply for three orders in 14 days. Excludes restaurants.

[I]

William Gargan stars as Barry Craig, confidential investigator.

[C]

A tempestuous blonde wants a carefree Romeo to slow up and settle down. It isn't always sweet surrender, not if she emphasizes her demands. With Hot Lead.

[I]

The National Broadcasting Company presents William Gargan in another transcribed drama of mystery and adventure with America's number one detective, Barry Craig, confidential investigator.

[C]

Barry Craig. Speaking in any national poll where voters were asked to elect the prize chump of 1955, I know one candidate who'd walk away with the title Mr. Fenley, Bertram Fenley. To give the champion SAP of our time his full name. I first met Fenley on the docks, pier 82. He'd phoned me very hush hush to please meet him there. I found him on the pier squatting on two beat up valises, looking like he'd just come off the banana boat docked right behind him. He had.

[F]

It turned out I was on that boat, Mr. Craig. The Hilda May I was in Honduras. That's in the Orient.

[C]

Honduras is in Central America, Mr. Finley.

[F]

Oh, yes. Well, I mean Central America.

[C]

Middle aged man with fat cheeks and a mild look. So what's your trouble, Mr. Benley?

[F]

Oh, my trouble is just the right word. I don't know how to begin to tell you.

[C]

Well, there's a coffee pot across the street. Let's talk in there, huh? Over rancid coffee and stale donuts, Fenally stated his problems.

[F]

Well, I'll show you all these papers, Mr. Craig. You would like to look them over?

[C]

The Anzio Calcon Hotel Land Development Corporation. The big prince says, that's my employer.

[F]

I Was sent overseas to make diagrams of land space for building modern hotels.

[C]

I see you did a cost analysis.

[F]

Oh, yes. That one file of papers in your hand represents three months worth.

[C]

Meaning there are other files of paper?

[F]

Yes. I've been abroad three times now. I have completed reports on Honduras, in Siam, the Belgian Congo, and in a little village called Kuka Sankha.

[C]

Kuka Sanka? I never heard of it.

[F]

Well, nobody has. It doesn't appear on the map. It took me 27 days to find it. Cukasanca is mainly 12 straw huts located 270 miles due east of Rangoon.

[C]

And your company is scouting it as a modern hotel site.

[F]

Well, that was my understanding.

[C]

Now, you've been traveling here and there for how long? Eight months. All expenses paid? Yes.

[F]

My expenses to date have been $7,000.

[C]

Why did you contact me to meet you secretly at the dock?

[F]

Well, in Honduras I received a telegram not to come home, but to proceed.

[C]

On to Borneo and prepare more papers. Yes, but you hopped aboard a banana boat instead and came home.

[F]

Yes. You see, I had begun to suspect.

[C]

Ah, at long last. What else has fired your suspicions?

[F]

Well, mysterious incidents overseas.

[C]

Like unexplainable accidents, huh? You almost lost a leg or an arm.

[F]

Yes, and even my life. Once in a village named Terraboomba on the African coast, I was arrested as an enemy spy.

[C]

Somebody planted documents in your luggage.

[F]

Yes, and I was thrown into a dungeon without trial.

[C]

So how come you're here today?

[F]

The merciful heavens intervened. A tidal wave overran the village. It washed every building off its foundation.

[C]

And washed you into the open.

[F]

I fled by oxcart.

[C]

Enough. I've had it up to my ears. Now where will you be staying?

[F]

The Yankee Doodle Hotel on the Lower Bowery.

[C]

No one will think to look. Okay, fine. I'll come see you after I've talked to your so called employ. Back outside on the dock street, I got a dramatic insight into just how violent incidents kept dogging poor Fenally's footsteps. Crossing over to my jalopy, a black touring car came straight at us. It had curtains drawn like a hearse. Rest of us, it sang a funeral requiem. Submachine gun Fenally hit the dirt. We lay on the cobblestones flatter than a couple of defensive fled pancakes 60 seconds after the danger had passed. Finley was still speechless. I could say it was an attempt on your life. Finley. I can't see anybody machine gunning the street just to be naughty. However, Come on. If we're going to the Anzio Calhoun Hotel, land, etc. Occupied a six room suite just off Park Row. Well furnished, but deserted. No sign of business activity. In the last room of the joint, I found a live tenant. A guy in a silk suit with the glue loose on his toupee. It flapped over his brow. He was fast asleep. I gave up the notion of giving him a hotspot. I just settled for shove. Hey, rise and shine.

[D]

Hey. Hey, what's the idea?

[C]

Now, put the gun away.

[D]

Gun? Oh, force us have it, friend.

[C]

I'm sure.

[D]

Yeah, what do you want?

[C]

Well, I've got a chain of hotels to sell. There's a television set in every broom.

[D]

Oh, you're a comic. Don't audition for me, huh? I don't like funny men.

[C]

And suppose I switch professions? How is this impersonation for you, badge, huh? Well, you won't advance your career here, copper.

[D]

We got nothing here to interest a private dick.

[C]

Six rooms and 20 desks and only one telephone.

[D]

We've been retrenching.

[C]

So fire Bertram Fenley, why don't you?

[D]

Fennel? He's canned the minute he gets back from the Borneo assignment.

[C]

But Fenley didn't go to Borneo. No.

[D]

Hey, we wired him to. Hey, how is it you know all about Fennelly to begin with, huh?

[C]

It happens. I'm representing him.

[D]

Fennelly's here in New York? He is, but that's going against his instructions.

[C]

You wanted him to keep on wandering.

[D]

Hey, wandering is his job with Anzio Calcone. That's why he's on the company tab.

[C]

To prepare reports on hotel sites, huh?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Now, we're in creation to date as your company built a hotel. One hotel.

[D]

Hey, now look, guy, we're set up legal. We're incorporated. Read that certificate on the wall. We got stock floating 300,000 shares in a bucket throw. And that's only the first issue. We got big plans. So wipe that grin off your kisser, huh?

[C]

Just what are the big plans?

[D]

Hotels in out of the way places and landing strips to every unit. No competition across the street like down in Miami.

[C]

Now, you know our idea sounds screwy. What exactly are Fenally's qualifications for scouting hotel sites for you?

[D]

Hey, Fenley was a big hotel keeper. That's why we put him on for us. Fenley has the experience. And now I want to catch a little snooze, huh?

[C]

One more thing.

[D]

Your name, it's printed on the door.

[C]

Kewpie, Moreno. Kewpie.

[D]

Yeah, my old lady stuck me with the name. At the time, I was too little to argue.

[C]

Every guy has his Racket. But Marino's had me mystified so far anyhow. Why anybody would squander seven grand in travel expenses on a screwball like Friendly. The evening papers added to the general confusion. There was a scare headline in it. Rampaging College Students Tour Town Firing Toy Submachine Gun. Police Threaten Harsh Measures. College Pranksters. That could account for what had looked like an attempt on Fennelly's life earlier in the Yankee Doodle Hotel. Fennelly breathed a sigh of relief over the headline.

[E]

Oh, my.

[F]

Well, then the shooting wasn't meant for me.

[C]

Or this could be a mere coincidence. But let's get down to media stuff. Yes.

[F]

You saw Mr. Marino?

[C]

I did.

[F]

And your opinion of him?

[C]

He draws a gun as regularly as ordinary men draw a breath.

[F]

Am I then the victim of some hoax?

[C]

Maybe so. Or maybe just a useful stooge, traveling about and preparing paper reports so that Anzio, Calcun, et cetera, can lie about their big plans.

[E]

Lie to whom?

[C]

Sucker investors who read their stock investment prospectus. Big talk about their preliminary field operations. That's you. Friendly? Their whole field staff.

[F]

Oh, I see.

[C]

Marino said you were, quote, big hotel keeper, unquote, when he latched onto you. How about that?

[F]

Well, it is a mite exaggerated.

[C]

So shrink it to size, huh?

[F]

Well, I ran a rooming house in Buxton Falls.

[C]

Buxton Falls? Oh, out in Ohio, huh?

[F]

Yes.

[C]

Well, how big an operation was it? Come on now. No false modesty. Four rumors.

[F]

But I served ice cantaloupe for breakfast.

[C]

Imagine. How did Marino get to know about you in the first place? An ad in the paper or something? No, no.

[F]

I won a contest here in New York.

[C]

How come?

[F]

Well, well, I'll explain.

[C]

I'm dying to hear.

[F]

At home in Buxton Falls. This was. The telephone rang one night. It was New York, they said. And then somebody asked me something. Could I name 10American presidents?

[C]

You could. And you did. And you won a prize, the man said.

[E]

Yes.

[F]

A weekend in a big New York hotel. Tickets to a Broadway show, A case of automobile polish, cufflinks and stuff. Yeah, oh, stuff. And an appearance on the radio.

[C]

To do what?

[F]

Recite President James Madison's inauguration speech?

[C]

Which leads us to Marino. Yes.

[F]

He telephoned me at the hotel where I was staying. Oh, he had been much impressed with me on the radio, Mr. Marino said.

[C]

And as a mighty hotel keeper plus brain, did you want a job with Anzio, Calcon, et cetera?

[F]

That's right. And I accepted at once.

[C]

Oh, you would? Who produced the so called show that changed the course of your previously humdrum.

[F]

Existence by Mr. Adrian Borislav.

[C]

Located where?

[F]

The Advanced Theatrical Enterprises. On Broadway?

[E]

Uptown.

[C]

The Advanced Theatrical Enterprises, huh? What do you bet I find six deserted rooms and a hood snoozing on a sofa? My guess on the Advanced Theatrical Enterprises was only partly correct. There were only five officers in this suite and nobody in them. Hello? Anybody? Not even my echo. In the last room of the suite, I found my sleeper. No hood this time. Out. A doll. A pretty face, more rouge than mouth. Three shades of hair. And her shoes off. I woke her up gently. Rise and shine, gorgeous.

[E]

Who are you?

[C]

Barry Craig, a detective.

[E]

And you, Margie? I. I dreamed somebody was tickling your feet.

[C]

Yeah, I was. With this.

[E]

My pencil?

[C]

Well, I just returned it. Now, a gent named Boris Love. Where do I find him? Did I just crack a joke?

[E]

I'll say you did.

[C]

Well, enlighten me.

[E]

Who doesn't want to find Adrian Borislov?

[C]

Oh, he's that popular?

[E]

He's that much of a skunk.

[C]

You sound like you were left holding a bag.

[E]

Holding it for $500. 10 weeks salary.

[C]

You were Borislav's secretary.

[E]

I was. Now I'm in here every day for a week just waiting for that creep to show up.

[C]

Characterize Adrian Borislav for me.

[E]

With pleasure. He's a petty promoter, a deadbeat. He bought radio time on small stations just to publicize himself as Mr. Big. To attract attention to himself. He ran cheesy little nothing contests. Mind you, they were all on the level. After all, it only amounted to cheap advertising.

[C]

What was his real pitch? Here in the actual offices.

[E]

Vanity publications for composers and poets, writers, models. He'd skin them but good.

[C]

I see. And now Boris Love of Advanced Theatricals has flown the couple.

[E]

Go look at the unpaid bills on his desk, Deadbeat. My flesh is beginning to crawl hanging around here. You got any more questions you'd like to ask me?

[C]

I have.

[E]

Then do it over a drink. Heavens to Hannah, do I need a drink.

[C]

When Bright Eyes had lubricated her gullets sufficiently, I got back to the business at hand. Were you with Boris Love when a screwball named Bertram Fennelly rode in from Buxton Falls?

[E]

Popsy? Popsy Fenley? My nickname for him was Popsy.

[C]

Sounds affectionate.

[E]

Oh, I'm crazy about Popsy. I'm more at home in the company of older men now.

[C]

What's wrong with the younger men?

[E]

Their conceit.

[C]

How did you people in Advanced Theatrical Get Fenally's name and phone number to begin with?

[E]

We're out of the Higher. Telephone directory. We pick 10 names from each state and put them all in a goldfish bowl. You know, like a raffle. I see there was nothing ever dishonest about Mr. Boris Love's contest. Not the contests.

[C]

I wonder.

[E]

You wonder? Say, are you insinuating something?

[C]

I'll keep it friendly. I'll shut up.

[E]

Look, be unfriendly. I don't care. You're thinking something. Be a man and come on, out with it.

[C]

You hate me.

[E]

I practically do already anyhow, so come out with it.

[C]

All right. I think you were planted in that office doll to sell me a line of bull. Account for Boris Love and absentia. Call him foul names, as you did, but steer me away from looking for him.

[E]

Are you cheap?

[C]

Temper, temper, temper. Your job was also to nicely explain Fennelly's original presence here in New York.

[E]

But I tell you, Popsy won a contest.

[C]

Sure, but my guess is the contest was only a device in the first place.

[E]

A device for what?

[C]

I'll answer that with a question of my own. What's the tie up between Advanced Theatricals and a setup called Anzio Calcun? No answer, huh?

[E]

Please, don't you dare pay for my drink. I'll treat myself. Don't think the company hasn't been nauseating.

[C]

Any blonde with saucer eyes and three lovely shades of hair who can't snare her man is a dead blonde awaiting burial. But Margie was alive, and Fenale was willing. All of which led to new complications.

[E]

Well, I've.

[F]

I've come to say goodbye, Mr. Craig.

[C]

Where are you going?

[F]

Oh, frankly, I feel like such a fool.

[C]

So talk like one. I'm going to Borneo after all.

[F]

But I'm afraid my misapprehensions about the Anzio Calcun Hotel land development were all imaginary.

[C]

Yes. Marino's been in touch with you, huh?

[F]

Yes. He offered me a substantial increase in salary.

[C]

And you snapped it up.

[F]

Well, the fact is, I have personal reasons for going abroad. This time it promises to be very enjoyable.

[C]

I can see. You can see and smell that cologne on you.

[F]

Oh, a phantom lover. It's a toilet water.

[C]

Mmm. The axle grease in your hair, the snazzy new suit and the yellow pointed shoes. And that tea rose in your buttonhole. Why, Fennelly, you're a regular Beau Brummell.

[F]

Well, thank you.

[C]

And it all spells blonde to me. Margie. Huh?

[F]

The fact is, yes? We're engaged to be married.

[C]

Where?

[F]

In Borneo.

[C]

And why in Borneo?

[F]

Margie, that's my fiance, is rather incredibly romantic.

[C]

Yes, I See, she. She wants to be married by a tribal chief.

[F]

A tribe?

[C]

Why?

[F]

How did you guess?

[C]

Oh, I. I took nine easy lessons in mysticism. Now, how did you fall for it?

[F]

Well, I'm not sure I shouldn't resent.

[C]

Finley, how dumb can you be? Can't you see this is only another maneuver to start you traveling?

[F]

But why should anyone want me?

[C]

That's the nub of it. Just why do people look on Bertram Fenley as a necessary export? Feny.

[F]

Yes, Mr. Craig?

[C]

Call quits on Marino and quit mooning over Margie. Margie's jackassing you. She, the disappeared Boris Love and Marino are all working together against you.

[F]

Against me? But why?

[C]

But why? And why is what we don't know yet. Go back to your hotel friendly and stay there incommunicado. You're a fish who snaps up at any bait. So don't see or talk to anybody.

[F]

I'm not going back to the Yankee Doodle Hotel, Mr. Craig.

[C]

Why not?

[F]

Because I'm going home to human Buxton Falls. Mr. Craig, I have absolutely had more than I can stand.

[C]

But Fenley didn't make Buxton Falls. As it developed, he got as far as Pennsylvania Station, New York. Then got himself a free ride downtown in the paddy wagon to the tombs, which was where I next found him, in a state of collapse.

[F]

For this shameful thing to happen to me.

[C]

What are you accused of?

[F]

Theft of a wallet.

[C]

Did you have the wallet on you?

[F]

Yes, but.

[C]

But.

[F]

But I found it in Pennsylvania Station while waiting for my.

[C]

It was there.

[F]

It was right at my feet.

[C]

Then up came a complainant and a cop.

[F]

Yes, and the complainant, Mr. Sampson Maxwell, swore that I. That I had picked his pocket.

[C]

Yes. Samson Maxwell of the Boris Love, Marino, Margi Combine. Fennelly, your middle name is Trouble.

[F]

Oh, but it's an infamous lie.

[C]

This tactic of the wallet adds a new wrinkle to the older pattern.

[F]

Yes, but I don't understand.

[C]

Up to now, I figured the idea was to keep you out of the country, knocked off overseas. Or failing that, anyhow, keep you traveling around.

[E]

But now.

[C]

Now I figure the idea is to mainly keep you out of Buxton Falls.

[F]

Keep me from my hometown.

[C]

Just as they lured you out of it with that phony contest.

[F]

I'm confused.

[C]

You were born confused. Forestlove lured you away from Buxton Falls. Then Marino sent you overseas. Now a Maxwell fixed it so you can't get home to Buxton Falls, he thinks.

[F]

But what can all this mean?

[C]

An idea is beginning to glimmer in this Beautiful head of mine. We'll go into it, Fenley, when I post bail for you. I posted bail for Fenley. 50 bucks by special courtesy of the DA's office. Then I grabbed Margie from under a hair drying machine in Madame Zelda's beauty parlor and waltzed her through the streets at the Times Square out of town newsstand. Fennelly joined us as prearranged for a look at the front page of the.

[F]

Buxton Falls Bugle murder trial nearing close. Why, there's a murder trial going on back home.

[C]

Defense bases capture case on alibi for New York mobster Stitch lanimer. Stitch. Hello.

[F]

Mr. Craig. What does it say there?

[C]

Well, the gist of it is Stitch Latimer is charged with killing a guard in the factory payroll robbery eight months ago. This was, Finley, about the time you began traveling. Latimer's defense is that it's all mistaken identity, that he never set foot in Buxton Falls in his life. Oh, Finley.

[F]

Yes, yes.

[C]

Here's an inside picture of Latimer. Ever see him before?

[E]

Let me see.

[F]

At least Ever see Why, yes. He roomed with me once overnight. He said he was a traveling salesman.

[C]

Well, that is the why of your travels. You're the only man who can place Latimer in Buxton Falls at the time he was there. Probably casing the job he finally pulled.

[F]

Oh, and the others? Moreno, Borislov and Maxwell.

[C]

Latimer's boys. Trying to get him out from under by keeping you out of Buxton Falls until the trial is over, right, Margie?

[E]

My mouth is sealed.

[C]

Oh, that's too bad.

[E]

Much too bad.

[C]

Talk freely and you could cop a plea. Why take those rosy lips out of circulation for years?

[E]

How. How bad is it for a girl in jail?

[C]

No jukeboxes, tall drinks, no cares, no hair dryers.

[E]

I can live without no.

[C]

Wolf whistles.

[E]

As bad as that, huh?

[C]

Mm.

[E]

Who do I talk to? Where?

[I]

You have been listening to William Gargan in another exciting transcribed mystery drama from the adventures of Barry Craig, Confidential Investigator. Tonight's story, the Moving Target, was written by John Robert. Next week, it's the Strange story Hour of Reckoning, about which Barry Craig has this to say. In Hour of Reckoning, a manicurist and a playboy find the rocky road to romance is a dead end street when a certain ill wisher contributes a corpse to the bride's trousseau. The National Broadcasting Company has just brought you an NBC Radio Network production with William Gargan starring as Barry Craig, Confidential Investigator, directed by Andrew C. Love. The cast included Lynn Allen, Howard McNear, and Jerry Haus. Join Groucho Marx for your Bet yout Life tonight on the NBC Radio Network.

[G]

From the Cascades to PDX to your kitchen, we recycle like we live here. That's why governments, brands, and recycling companies are all joining together to bring changes to make recycling better. As in trusting that your recyclables end up in the right places to be made into new things and having brands help fund the cost of recycling. You can find the Latest updates at recycleon.org Oregon From Mount Hood to the bin under your desk, together we can do this.