Podcast
A Mind of Her Own
Hosted by Jennifer Reid, MD · EN
A Mind of Her Own is a science-backed podcast dedicated to women's mental health, hosted by Dr. Jennifer Reid, MD, a Columbia and UCLA-trained psychiatrist, award-winning educator at the University of Pennsylvania, and author of Guilt Free: Reclaiming Your Life from Unreasonable Expectations. Dr. Reid sits down with clinicians, researchers, and writers to explore topics that matter: invisible labor, reproductive mental health, physician burnout, guilt, identity, and the forces that shape how women seek care and how they thrive. Now available for CME credit!
amindofherown.substack.com
amindofherown.substack.com
17episodes
Episodes
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Interpersonal Therapy (IPT) Goes Global
5d ago00:34:38Tap to summarizeWhat does it take for a single idea to travel from a research lab in New Haven to war zones in Uganda, refugee camps in Malaysia, and clinics across 30 countries and six continents? In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Myrna Weissman, one of the most consequential figures in modern psychiatry, to find out.Dr. Weissman co-developed Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT) alongside her late husband, Dr. Gerald Klerman, on a simple premise: that human suffering is deeply tied to human connection. Grief. Conflict. Loneliness. Life upended. These are not niche clinical categories, but rather a universal language of distress. And IPT was built to respond to it.In this conversation, Dr. Weissman reflects on five decades of research, the pandemic-era project that became a sweeping global volume (now available free via open access), and what it means to build something that outlives its origins. *This episode briefly mentions suicide.(Re-post: This is one of our most beloved episodes, brought back by popular demand. If you’ve heard it before, we hope it moves you just as much the second time.)What Is Interpersonal Therapy (IPT) and Why Does It Work?IPT links the emergence of psychiatric symptoms to what is happening in a person’s current life. It focuses on four core problem areas:1. Grief — the loss of a loved one2. Disputes — conflict with someone important to you3. Transitions — life changes, even positive ones, that disrupt relationships4. Loneliness/Isolation — chronic or newly developed lack of attachmentThese four areas have proven to resonate across vastly different cultures because they reflect fundamental aspects of the human condition. Dr. Weissman emphasizes that IPT is not the only evidence-based psychotherapy — it is “one tool in the toolbox, not a religion.”IPT for AdolescentsAdolescence is a prime time for IPT’s problem areas, especially disputes, transitions, and loneliness. Key takeaways for parents:• Try to understand the specific stressors behind an adolescent’s symptoms rather than reacting to global, dramatic statements.• Always be alert to the possibility of suicidal ideation.• Communication barriers between teens and parents are common; a trusted third party (grandparent, therapist, family friend) can sometimes serve as a valuable bridge.The New Book: IPT Around the WorldThis book is now available open access for readers everywhere!The COVID-19 pandemic gave Dr. Weissman the unexpected opportunity to connect with IPT practitioners worldwide. What began as a routine update to the standard IPT manual grew into a sweeping collaborative volume covering more than 30 countries across Africa, Asia, Europe, and the Americas. Contributors were asked: What are you doing? What works? What doesn’t? What adaptations did you need to make?Notable chapters include:• Uganda — IPT was introduced around 2003 amid civil war and a mental health crisis. A landmark clinical trial published in JAMA confirmed its effectiveness. Sean Mabry, a former WHO worker, went on to treat hundreds of thousands of people using IPT, even by telephone during the pandemic, and has now established a low-cost program in New Jersey.• China — After government engagement and training by Columbia experts, IPT became what practitioners called a “rapidly growing practice,” with books, training programs, and internet-based delivery.• Malaysia — IPT has been applied with refugees, using the “transitions” framework to help people process displacement and profound loss.• Africa (Ethiopia, Kenya, Mozambique, Senegal, Zambia, Uganda) — Adaptations have been made for cultural context, including how disputes are communicated and resolved within different family and community structures.• Japan and Hong Kong — Initial resistance to psychotherapy has given way to growing acceptance and translated materials.• United States special populations — Chapters cover Alaska Natives, people who are incarcerated, sexual and gender minorities, pre-adolescents, adolescents, and older adults.Cultural AdaptationsDr. Weissman shares a vivid example from Uganda: women in marital disputes are often encouraged not to confront their husbands directly, but to work through an elder who mediates. The underlying IPT principle, that the dispute is driving the symptoms, remains intact; only the implementation changes.Resources Mentioned• International Society of Interpersonal Psychotherapy (ISIPT) — volunteer-run, affordable membership, biannual international conference (10th meeting held in the UK, March 2024)• Dr. Weissman’s new book on IPT across international sites — published Open Access, freely available to practitioners and researchers worldwide• Oxford University Press — publisher of the standard IPT manualAbout the GuestDr. Myrna Weissman is the Diana Goldman Kemper Family Professor of Epidemiology and Psychiatry at Columbia University’s Vagelos College of Physicians and Surgeons and Mailman School of Public Health, and Chief of the Division of Translational Epidemiology at the New York State Psychiatric Institute. Alongside her late husband, Dr. Gerald Klerman, she co-developed Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT), now backed by over 140 clinical trials, translated into numerous languages, and recommended by the World Health Organization.🎙️Some Exciting News!A Mind of Her Own has recently joined the Learn At Pinnacle app, so if you work in health care, you can receive FREE CE credit just for listening!(This includes Category 1 AMA CME credit and many others.)Download the free app at the link above or at: https://learnatpinnacle.com/educationConnect with Your Host, Dr. Jennifer ReidDr. Jennifer Reid is a physician, the host of A Mind of Her Own, and the author of Guilt Free: Reclaiming Your Life from Unreasonable Expectations — available at major retailers.🌐 Website: jenniferreidmd.com Instagram: @JenReidMD Threads: @JenReidMDFeeling inspired by this conversation? Start your own Guilt-Free Group at jenniferreidmd.com/guilt-free-groups or download a book club guide at jenniferreidmd.com/book-clubs. If you live in NJ and PA and would like to learn more about Dr. Reid’s unique mental health treatment, contact assistant@jenniferreidmd.comIf you enjoyed this episode, please follow A Mind of Her Own and leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts — it makes a huge difference in helping other people find the show! 🎙️Thanks for checking out A Mind of Her Own! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.Seeking a mental health provider? Try Psychology TodayNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255Dial 988 for mental health crisis supportSAMHSA’s National Helpline - 1-800-662-HELP (4357)-a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.Disclaimer:The views expressed on this podcast reflect those of the host and guests, and are not associated with any organization or academic site. Also, AI may have been used to create the transcript and notes, based only on the specific discussion of the host and guest and reviewed for accuracy.The information and other content provided on this podcast or in any linked materials, are not intended and should not be construed as medical advice, nor is the information a substitute for professional medical expertise or treatment. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this website is for general information purposes only.If you or any other person has a medical concern, you should consult with your health care provider or seek other professional medical treatment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it be...
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When the Story Heals the Storyteller
3w ago00:37:32Tap to summarize“Writing meets you where you are. Writing can wrap itself around any situation you bring to it.” - Carolyn Roy-Bornstein, MDIn this rich conversation, host Dr. Jennifer Reid welcomes Dr. Carolyn Roy-Bornstein, pediatrician, former nurse, passionate advocate for narrative medicine, and author of A Prescription for Burnout: Restorative Writing for Healthcare Professionals. Together, they explore how reflective writing can serve as a genuine antidote to clinician burnout. Drawing on her own experience navigating her son’s traumatic brain injury, decades of medical practice, and hundreds of writing workshops, Dr. Roy-Bornstein makes a compelling case that putting pain into language is not a luxury. It’s a tool for life.🎙️Some Exciting News! A Mind of Her Own has recently joined the Learn At Pinnacle app, so if you work in health care, you can receive FREE CE credit just for listening! (This includes Category 1 AMA CME credit and many others.) Download the free app at the link above or at: https://learnatpinnacle.com/educationKey Topics* What narrative medicine actually means and how Rita Charon’s framework at Columbia centers the patient’s story as the foundation of clinical practice* The neuroscience behind reflective writing: why naming painful emotions deactivates distress regions in the brain, and why just 15 to 20 minutes a day for four days can produce lasting relief* How Dr. Roy-Bornstein’s son’s accident, a devastating drunk-driving crash that left him with a serious traumatic brain injury and took his girlfriend’s life, became the crucible for her own writing practice and public advocacyAbout Dr. Carolyn Roy-BornsteinDr. Carolyn Roy-Bornstein is a board-certified pediatrician, former practicing nurse, and Writer in Residence at the Lawrence Family Medicine Residency Program, where she champions a narrative medicine curriculum. She is also the author of several books, including, most recently, A Prescription for Burnout: Restorative Writing for Healthcare Professionals. Her website for more information on her latest book, A Prescription for Burnout: Restorative Writing for Healthcare Professionals, with nearly 100 writing prompts, and a schedule of upcoming workshops: carolynroybornstein.comConnect with Your Host, Dr. Jennifer ReidDr. Jennifer Reid is a physician, the host of A Mind of Her Own, and the author of Guilt Free: Reclaiming Your Life from Unreasonable Expectations — available at major retailers.🌐 Website: jenniferreidmd.com Instagram: @JenReidMD Threads: @JenReidMDFeeling inspired by this conversation? Start your own Guilt-Free Group at jenniferreidmd.com/guilt-free-groups or download a book club guide at jenniferreidmd.com/book-clubs.If you enjoyed this episode, please follow A Mind of Her Own and leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts — it makes a huge difference in helping other people find the show! 🎙️Thanks for checking out A Mind of Her Own! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.Seeking a mental health provider? Try Psychology TodayNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255Dial 988 for mental health crisis supportSAMHSA’s National Helpline - 1-800-662-HELP (4357)-a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.Disclaimer:The views expressed on this podcast reflect those of the host and guests, and are not associated with any organization or academic site. Also, AI may have been used to create the transcript and notes, based only on the specific discussion of the host and guest and reviewed for accuracy.The information and other content provided on this podcast or in any linked materials, are not intended and should not be construed as medical advice, nor is the information a substitute for professional medical expertise or treatment. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this website is for general information purposes only.If you or any other person has a medical concern, you should consult with your health care provider or seek other professional medical treatment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something that have read on this website, blog or in any linked materials. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or emergency services (911) immediately. You can also access the National Suicide Help Line at 1-800-273-8255 or call 988 for mental health emergencies. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amindofherown.substack.com
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Held Together: Weaving Women's Stories of Motherhood, Loss, and Finding Each Other
Apr 2300:45:54Tap to summarize“I don’t think we move past challenging experiences. I think we integrate them into our identities and into the wisdom we carry forward.” -Dr. Rebecca ThompsonIn Held Together: A Shared Memoir of Motherhood, Medicine, and Imperfect Love, Dr. Rebecca Thompson, family medicine and public health physician, weaves her personal story of life-threatening pregnancy complications into the stories of twenty-one patients, friends, and medical colleagues. Through profoundly honest and emotionally raw accounts, the book creates a space for connection, offering comfort to anyone touched by challenges in building or sustaining families. At its heart, Held Together aims to expand the understanding of motherhood’s true diversity, while advocating for empathy, inclusion, and improved support for all women and families.Storytelling as healing Several of Dr. Thompson’s collaborators shared that working on the book was the first time they had ever told their story in a coherent, cohesive way, and that the process allowed them to integrate the experience rather than feel stuck in it. Dr. Thompson draws a distinction between “moving past” challenges and carrying them forward with purpose.Building community, one relationship at a time Near the close of the episode, Dr. Thompson reflects on what it takes to build real community: patience, persistence, and the willingness to start small. Most of Held Together was written in 20-minute windows, in parking lots, between appointments, in the in-between moments of a full life. The book itself is proof that small, consistent actions can accumulate into something meaningful.References & ResourcesBook: Held Together: A Shared Memoir of Motherhood, Medicine, and Imperfect Love by Rebecca N. Thompson, MD Available through affiliate links on Dr. Thompson’s website (a portion of proceeds benefits Postpartum Support International), through your local independent bookstore, or your library.Postpartum Support International — an organization supporting maternal and family mental health: postpartum.netKintsugi — the Japanese art of repairing broken ceramics with gold lacquer, referenced in the book as a metaphor for post-traumatic growth and finding beauty in imperfection.Connect with Dr. ThompsonRebecca N. Thompson, MD, is a family medicine and public health physician from Portland, Oregon, who specializes in women’s and children’s health. She is the author of Held Together: A Shared Memoir of Motherhood, Medicine, and Imperfect Love, a collaborative project more than a decade in the making.🌐 Website: www.rebeccanthompson.com (Note: The N is important, there are other authors named Rebecca Thompson! Look for the middle initial.)📘 Facebook: facebook.com/rebecca.thompson.354831 📸 Instagram: @rebecca.n.thompson 🧵 Threads: @rebecca.n.thompson 💼 LinkedIn: Rebecca N. Thompson, MDConnect with Your Host, Dr. Jennifer ReidDr. Jennifer Reid is a physician, the host of A Mind of Her Own, and the author of Guilt Free: Reclaiming Your Life from Unreasonable Expectations — available at major retailers.🌐 Website: jenniferreidmd.com 📸 Instagram: @JenReidMD 🧵 Threads: @JenReidMDFeeling inspired by this conversation? Start your own Guilt-Free Group at jenniferreidmd.com/guilt-free-groups or download a book club guide at jenniferreidmd.com/book-clubs.If you enjoyed this episode, please follow A Mind of Her Own and leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts — it makes a huge difference in helping other people find the show! 🎙️A Note for Educators & Helping ProfessionalsDr. Thompson is actively expanding her work into medical and health professions training. She welcomes outreach from educators working with medical students, residents, nurses, doulas, midwives, social workers, and psychologists, or anyone who wants to help the next generation of caregivers better understand their patients’ full context. Virtual presentations are available. Reach out through the Connect page on her website.Please remember: your hosts are physicians, but we are not your physicians. For any personal healthcare concerns, please reach out to your own provider. You can also contact the mental health helpline by dialing 988. All opinions are the host’s and guest’s alone. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amindofherown.substack.com
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The Brilliant Postpartum Brain
Apr 1300:37:12Tap to summarize“The postpartum brain is brilliant, and we want to nurture that process versus hinder it.” -Dr. Nikki Pensak, PhD, PMH-CIn this episode of A Mind of Her Own, Dr. Jennifer Reid, host and author of Guilt Free, sits down with Dr. Nikki Pensak, clinical psychologist, perinatal mental health specialist, and author of Rattled: How to Calm New Mom Anxiety with the Power of the Postpartum Brain (Paperback arrives April 14th!) Together they explore the science behind how a woman’s brain radically transforms during pregnancy and the postpartum period, why this developmental phase has a name (matrescence), and why virtually no one is talking about it.Dr. Pensak shares her own deeply personal story of experiencing postpartum depression twice, including a severe episode with symptoms of OCD during COVID while her son was in the NICU, and how hitting rock bottom as a mental health expert motivated her to write the book she wished had existed. This episode is a must-listen for anyone who is pregnant, postpartum, or supporting a new mother.Dr. Pensak’s Three Moves to Matrescence1. Plan ItFrom the moment you find out you’re pregnant, establish care with a mental health provider or prescriber who specializes in perinatal mental health. Get a baseline assessment, understand your unique risk factors, and have your support system in place before the baby arrives, not after.2. Name ItUnderstand that what you’re going through is matrescence, a recognized, science-backed developmental phase. Name the identity changes, the emotional upheaval, the relationship stress. Knowing it has a name, and that it is expected, is itself therapeutic.3. Use ItOnce mental health is stabilized, harness the brain’s remarkable neuroplasticity. Rise to challenges, pursue positive emotional experiences, and lean into post-traumatic growth. Your brain is primed for new learning. It’s time to use that superpower.Resources MentionedRattled: How to Calm New Mom Anxiety with the Power of the Postpartum Brain by Nicole Pensak, PhD, PMH-C. Available in hardcover, paperback (new cover, releasing April 14), audiobook, and Kindle.Connect with Dr. Pensak: @drnikkipensak on all platformsGuilt Free: Reclaiming Your Life From Unreasonable Expectations by Jennifer Reid, MD. Available now, including audiobook (read by the author) and e-book.*Consider leaving a book review — it makes a huge difference for authors!• Postpartum Support International (PSI) — free support groups for new mothers, fathers, anxiety, depression, and more. Also maintains a searchable database of certified perinatal mental health providers by state. https://www.postpartum.netThanks for reading A Mind of Her Own! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.Dr. Nicki Pensak is a clinical psychologist who specializes in treating postpartum mental health conditions, anxiety, OCD, depression, sexual dysfunction, and symptoms and side effects associated with medical issues (such as cancer and chronic medical conditions). Dr. Pensak received her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from University of Rhode Island and completed her APA accredited internship and specialty training in behavioral medicine at Yale School of Medicine. She completed a postdoctoral fellowship at Massachusetts General Hospital/ Harvard Medical School in psychiatric oncology and an NIH T32 fellowship at the University of Colorado, Anschutz Medical Center in Aging and Palliative Care. She currently serves on the Expert Review Board of Parents Magazine and is the author of RATTLED, How to Calm New Mom Anxiety with the Power of the Postpartum Brain. Dr. Pensak provides in-person therapy in Monmouth County, NJ and telehealth therapy in 40 states, nationwide.Reminder: Both the host and guest are healthcare professionals, but they are not your healthcare professionals. Please consult your own providers with any personal medical or mental health questions.Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical or psychological advice. If you are experiencing symptoms of postpartum mental health conditions, please reach out to a qualified healthcare provider or contact Postpartum Support International at postpartum.net. You can also contact the mental health helpline by dialing 988. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amindofherown.substack.com
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The Real Madness of March: Gambling Disorder, Recovery & Public Health
Mar 2400:35:44Tap to summarize“There’s no such thing as responsible gambling. Remember when we were told to smoke responsibly, and that opiate pain pills aren’t addictive? -Kavita Fischer, MDSeveral years ago, when Dr. Kavita Fischer downloaded an online betting app, she was just looking for something fun to do with her free time. However, within months she found herself so consumed by online gambling that she was taking out loans, chasing losses, and unable to stop, even after a big win that could have cleared her debt.Now, she has become a leading advocate for the change in what she describes as a “predatory” industry, sharing her story of gambling disorder and relapse. As she points out, gambling disorder is among the most stigmatized of all addictions, and silence protects the industry, not the patients. In this essential episode, she and Dr. Reid discuss the conflicted interests of those who are supposed to provide regulations to the industry, the broken treatment landscape, and what real public health reform would look like.*Please note that this episode mentions suicide and non-suicidal self-injury.“Responsible Gambling” Is a MythThis phrase places all blame on the individual, mirroring the tobacco and opioid playbooks. Consumer protection messaging, not personal responsibility tropes, is what’s needed. After all, responsible gambling campaigns are estimated to be up to 90% funded by the gambling industry itself, creating an obvious conflict of interest.“It smells like, looks like something uncomfortably familiar: normalizing a product, denying the harm, blaming the user. That’s exactly what we saw with tobacco and opioids.” -Kavita Fischer, MDThe Product Is Engineered for AddictionOnline gambling moved the casino from a destination to your pocket. Research shows proximity to a casino increases gambling disorder risk, and now everyone is living with a casino in their pocket. These apps are designed to keep you clicking and loop you back in when you try to leave. Unlike alcohol, the industry actively sends promotions and re-engagement offers to people who are trying to quit.“No one’s leaving alcohol at your doorstep. No industry is sending coupons for alcohol to prevent you from getting treatment. That’s exactly what this industry does.”-Kavita Fischer, MDThe Business Model Requires Addicted Gamblers70–90% of industry profits come from problem gamblers. States that have partnered with gambling operators are essentially acting as the bookie, collecting tax revenue with little meaningful regulation protecting citizens. Additionally, this tax revenue may not be going toward the programs we expect it to.The Highest Suicide Rate of Any Addiction• 1 in 2 people with gambling disorder have thought about suicide• 1 in 5 have attempted itPer Dr. Fischer, a recent study found financial debt (not concurrent mental illness or substance use) is the single most powerful independent risk factor for suicide in this population.The LIE/BET Screener: Two Questions That Open DoorsOnly 8–10% of people with gambling disorder seek treatment on their own. Dr. Fischer advocates for universal screening using this validated two-question tool:1. Have you ever had to lie to people important to you about how much you gambled?2. Have you ever felt the need to bet more and more money?Treatment Options Are Limited but ExistThere is no FDA-approved medication for gambling disorder. The gold standard is CBT + Motivational Interviewing, delivered by ICGC-certified counselors. Support groups (Gamblers Anonymous, Gam-Anon for families) and state gambling board referral lists are the most accessible entry points.Children Are Especially VulnerableAbout 50% of adolescents have gambled in some form, mostly online. In-game mechanics like loot boxes, lucky wheels, and virtual currencies introduce gambling behavior through gaming. Dr. Fischer recommends parental controls, open conversations, and legislative pressure to enforce age restrictions.Resources & LinksCrisis & Helplines• National Problem Gambling Helpline: 1-800-MY-RESET (new number — crisis screening and local referrals)• Gamblers Anonymous Hotline: 855-222-5542Support Groups• Gamblers Anonymous — in-person, virtual, and telephone meetings• Gam-Anon — for family members and loved onesAdvocacy• Stop Predatory Gambling — nonprofit exposing industry harms and pushing for policy reformTreatment & Screening• International Problem Gambling and Gaming Certification Organization (IPGGC) find certified CBT/MI counselors.• LIE/BET Screener — two-question tool, appropriate for any clinical intakeGambling-Blocking Apps• Gamban — blocks tens of thousands of gambling sites across all devices• BetBlocker — free, available on iOS, Android, Windows, Mac, and LinuxDr. Fischer’s Writing• “The Real Madness of March” — psychiatric journal article on why all clinicians should screen for gambling disorder• The House Always Wins: Learning to Overcome Problem Gambling• Dr. Fischer’s Substack: The Doctor and The HouseListen to Dr. Fischer on the Wall Street Journal Podcast: How a Psychiatrist Lost $400,000 on Gambling AppsAbout Dr. Kavita Fischer, MDDr. Kavita Fischer is a double board-certified psychiatrist in general and child & adolescent psychiatry, president of the Pennsylvania Psychiatric Society, and clinical assistant professor at the University of Pittsburgh’s Department of Psychiatry. She works as an emergency room psychiatrist and is a national speaker advocating against the harms of commercialized gambling, drawing on her own lived experience with gambling disorder and recovery.A Mind of Her OwnHosted by Dr. Jennifer Reid, MDBoard-certified psychiatrist, author of Guilt Free: Reclaiming Your Life From Unreasonable Expectations, and award-winning medical educatorjenniferreidmd.com | A Mind of Her Own on Substack@jenreidmd on Instagram and LinkedInAlso check out Dr. Reid’s regular contributions to Psychology Today: Think Like a ShrinkSeeking a mental health provider? Try Psychology TodayNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255Dial 988 for mental health crisis supportSAMHSA’s National Helpline - 1-800-662-HELP (4357)-a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.Disclaimer:The views expressed on this podcast reflect those of the host and guests, and are not associated with any organization or academic site. Also, AI may have been used to create the transcript and notes, based only on the specific discussion of the host and guest and reviewed for accuracy.The information and other content provided on this podcast or in any linked materials, are not intended and should not be construed as medical advice, nor is the information a substitute for professional medical expertise or treatment. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this website is for general information purposes only.If you or any other person has a medical concern, you should consult with your health care provider or seek other professional medical treatment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something that have read on this website, blog or in any linked materials. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or emergency services (911) immediately. You can also access the National Suicide Help Line at 1-800-273-8255 or call 988 for mental health emergencies. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href="https://amindofherown.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1"...
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Women Burdened by Invisible Work
Mar 1200:44:32Tap to summarize“Most of the couples that I spoke with wanted to distance themselves from old-school gender norms, and yet very few were able to achieve balance when it came to the division of this mental work.”— Dr. Allison DamingerIf you’ve ever lain awake mentally running through tomorrow’s logistics while your partner sleeps soundly beside you, this episode is for you. Dr. Allison Daminger, sociologist and author of What’s on Her Mind?, has spent nearly a decade studying something most families feel but few can name: the invisible cognitive labor that keeps a household running. It’s not the cooking or the carpooling, it’s the anticipating, the researching, the deciding, and the endless following up. In this conversation, Dr. Daminger unpacks why this mental work falls so disproportionately on women—even in couples who are genuinely trying for something more equal, what makes it so stubbornly hard to redistribute, and what it would actually take, in our homes and in our culture, to change it.Website: allisondaminger.com · Substack: The Daminger DispatchWhat Is Mental Workload?Dr. Daminger describes mental workload as “project management for the household” — a set of cognitive processes geared toward figuring out what a family needs and ensuring those needs get fulfilled. It breaks down into four key steps:* Anticipation — scanning ahead for upcoming needs, problems, or opportunities* Identifying options — brainstorming or researching possible solutions* Decision-making — choosing the best course of action for the family* Monitoring — following up to make sure the solution actually workedUnlike physical housework, this labor is largely invisible, often not recognized as “work” even by the person doing it.“This is a set of mental processes that are geared toward figuring out what your family needs, what you owe to other people, and then how to ensure that those needs and obligations get fulfilled.”— Dr. Allison DamingerKey Research FindingsThe Gender Gap Is StarkIn Dr. Daminger’s study of different-gender couples, 4 out of 5 were “woman-led,” meaning she was effectively the “cognitive laborer in chief.” While couples were closer to 50-50 on physical housework (cooking, cleaning, driving), the mental work remained deeply unequal.Earning More Doesn’t Level the Playing Field, Not for WomenWhen men earned more or worked more hours, they almost always did less cognitive labor. But the same did not hold true in reverse: women who were the primary earners still shouldered a disproportionate share of mental work. The breadwinner pass applied to men, not women.“In cases where she was doing more hours or earning more money, a lot of the time she was still doing more of the cognitive labor.”— Dr. Allison DamingerWhy Does This Persist?Accountability StructuresOne of Dr. Daminger’s core explanations is “accountability structures,” which is the fact that men and women are held responsible for different outcomes. Men feel guilt around financial failure; women feel guilt when household or parenting management slips. This asymmetry shapes who pays attention and who steps in.“If the kid comes to school missing their clarinet on band day, or guests come over and there’s dog hair on the floor, these are outcomes that usually are going to be blamed on women.”— Dr. Allison DamingerThe Stickiness ProblemCognitive labor is deeply embedded in knowledge, relationships, and practice, making it hard to hand off. A partner who has attended every pediatrician appointment holds context the other doesn’t have. Many women conclude it’s simply easier to keep doing it than to train someone else. This keeps the division of labor frozen even when both partners want change.“You can teach someone to change a diaper pretty quickly. But a lot of cognitive work is embedded in knowledge and relationships that are hard to just hand over.”— Dr. Allison DamingerWhat Balanced Couples Do Differently“If you can lead from the place of: I’m suffering, this is not working for me, that will activate a form of compassion that is harder to access when it’s framed as criticism.”— Dr. Allison DamingerTransfer Ownership, Not Just TasksThe “just tell me what to do” dynamic is a common trap. If she’s still the one generating the list, she still owns the domain. Dr. Daminger’s advice: transfer full vertical ownership of a category, not just execution of individual tasks.“All things laundry, that’s now you. Not just one piece, but making sure there’s detergent, making sure the kids have clean clothes on time, making sure the washer and dryer are functioning. If you can give someone up-and-down vertical ownership of the whole project, that’s often more effective than one-off task delegations.”— Dr. Allison DamingerStart Small and Give It Time• Pick lower-stakes domains first — tasks you won’t catastrophize if done differently• Set a grace period (e.g., two weeks) before evaluating — transitions are inherently bumpy• Avoid overhauling everything at once; there will be mistakes as skills are built• Resist the urge to take back a task the moment it’s done differently than you wouldKey TakeawayThe skills that shape who does cognitive labor are learned, not innate. Calling it a “personality difference” lets the pattern off the hook. Dr. Daminger’s research suggests that recognizing the work, naming it, and deliberately redistributing ownership (not just tasks) is how couples begin to change. The structure matters too: fewer systemic barriers mean fewer forced tradeoffs, and a more level playing field at home.Listen to the full episode to hear what she suggests for more broad, societal level changes that could help this imbalance of cognitive load.A Mind of Her OwnHosted by Dr. Jennifer Reid, MDBoard-certified psychiatrist, author of Guilt Free: Reclaiming Your Life From Unreasonable Expectations, and award-winning medical educatorjenniferreidmd.com | A Mind of Her Own on Substack@jenreidmd on Instagram and LinkedInAlso check out Dr. Reid’s regular contributions to Psychology Today: Think Like a ShrinkSeeking a mental health provider? Try Psychology TodayNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255Dial 988 for mental health crisis supportSAMHSA’s National Helpline - 1-800-662-HELP (4357)-a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.Disclaimer:The views expressed on this podcast reflect those of the host and guests, and are not associated with any organization or academic site. Also, AI may have been used to create the transcript and notes, based only on the specific discussion of the host and guest and reviewed for accuracy.The information and other content provided on this podcast or in any linked materials, are not intended and should not be construed as medical advice, nor is the information a substitute for professional medical expertise or treatment. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this website is for general information purposes only.If you or any other person has a medical concern, you should consult with your health care provider or seek other professional medical treatment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something that have read on this website, blog or in any linked materials. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or emergency services (911) immediately. You can also access the National Suicide Help Line at 1-800-273-8255 or call 988 for mental health emergencies. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amindofherown.substack.com
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"First, Seek to Understand": A CBT Expert's Guide to Everyday Communication
Mar 500:54:03Tap to summarize“Honesty doesn’t have to be brutal. Honesty can be compassionate. Honesty can be respectful.” -Dr. Cory NewmanEpisode OverviewIn this episode, host Dr. Jennifer Reid sits down with Dr. Cory Newman, PhD to explore how the core principles of cognitive behavioral therapy can be woven into our everyday communication with partners, friends, family, coworkers, and even ourselves. What begins as a conversation about therapy technique quickly becomes a practical guide to navigating disagreements, setting boundaries, and showing up more compassionately in all our relationships.Throughout the conversation, Dr. Reid draws connections to her book Guilt Free: Reclaiming Your Life from Unreasonable Expectations (Penguin Life, 2026), which examines how guilt—particularly for women—shapes our communication patterns, our willingness to set boundaries, and our capacity for self-compassion.15 Key Takeaways (Dr. Newman had so many life-changing recommendations, we wanted to make sure you could read about them even if you didn’t have time to listen!)1. The Three Pillars of CBTDr. Newman describes CBT as resting on three foundational principles: * A supportive therapeutic alliance* A deep understanding of the patient’s lived experience (including cultural and sociological factors)* The development of practical coping skills. These skills promote agency and problem-solving rather than hopelessness and helplessness.CBT Connection: The cognitive behavioral model emphasizes that thoughts, behaviors, and emotions are interconnected. By shifting how we think and what we do, we can change how we feel (Beck, 1979).2. Communication Is Both Internal and ExternalWe tend to think of communication as what we say to others, but Dr. Newman emphasizes that internal dialogue matters just as much. CBT helps people talk to themselves more compassionately, constructively, and hopefully. That same skill then translates outward into better interpersonal communication.He also distinguishes between expressive communication (how we speak) and receptive communication (how we listen), both of which are essential to healthy relationships.Guilt Free Connection: In Guilt Free, Dr. Reid explores how harsh internal dialogue, especially the relentless voice of “I should be doing more,” fuels excessive guilt. Learning to communicate with yourself compassionately is the first step toward breaking free from unreasonable expectations.3. Start with IntentEvery meaningful conversation benefits from a clear, positive intent: to boost morale, to connect, to offer something useful, to communicate understanding. Dr. Newman suggests that even outside of therapy, we can adopt the mindset that our goal in any interaction is to leave the other person, and the relationship, in a better state than when we started.CBT Connection: Intentional communication is a behavioral intervention. By deliberately choosing our communicative goals before speaking, we interrupt automatic patterns that often lead to conflict (Beck, 1995).4. Validity + Utility: The Two-Part Test for What We SayDr. Newman introduces a powerful filter: before speaking, ask whether your comment has both validity (is it truthful?) and utility (is it useful?). Truth alone can be harsh. He pushes back on the idea of “brutal honesty.”Guilt Free Connection: The validity-utility framework directly parallels the guilt equation in Guilt Free, where guilt = our expectations (whether fair or not) minus our perceived reality. Often, guilt-driven communication passes the validity test but fails the utility test. For example, we may say things out of obligation that don’t help ourselves or others.5. Intent vs. Impact: Naming the MismatchSometimes people don’t mean to cause harm, but their words land that way. Dr. Newman recommends naming the gap directly: “I don’t think you’re trying to put me down, but the message you’re sending sounds like a put-down.” This approach acknowledges the other person’s good faith while still making room for your experience.CBT Connection: Distinguishing between intent and impact is central to cognitive restructuring. Cognitive distortions like mind-reading and personalization often cause us to assume malicious intent where there is none (Burns, 1980).6. Seek to Understand Before Problem-SolvingWhen someone is in distress, the instinct is often to jump straight to fixing. Dr. Newman advises leading with empathy instead: “If I were thinking the way you’re describing, I’d be a nervous wreck too.” Validate first, then gently offer alternative perspectives. Problem-solving is more effective once the person feels heard.Guilt Free Connection: Dr. Reid describes a pattern she sees frequently, which is people, especially women, catastrophizing about situations and layering guilt on top. The compassionate validation Dr. Newman describes is exactly the antidote: honor the feeling, question the expectation.7. Turn Complaints into RequestsAlmost any complaint can be reframed as a request, and requests are far easier to hear. Instead of “You never reply to my voicemail messages,” try: “I’d really appreciate hearing from you, even briefly. It’s hard for me when I don’t hear from you.”CBT Connection: This reframing technique is a classic behavioral strategy in CBT. Converting complaints into constructive requests shifts the dynamic from blame to collaboration (Gottman & Silver, 1999).Guilt Free Connection: Dr. Reid explores how maladaptive guilt can be manipulative, such as when guilt-tripping replaces genuine requests, and relationships can suffer. Assertive communication (making requests without guilting) is key to breaking that cycle.8. Silence Fills Vacuums with AssumptionsWhen we avoid communication to spare someone’s feelings—say, not RSVPing to avoid disappointing a friend—we leave a vacuum that the other person fills with their own assumptions, which are usually worse than reality. Dr. Newman advises speaking the reality, even when it’s uncomfortable, because silence invites personalization and catastrophizing.Guilt Free Connection: In Guilt Free, Dr. Reid identifies avoidance as a common guilt-driven behavior: we don’t say no because we don’t want to disappoint, but the silence itself creates a bigger problem. Communicating honestly, even imperfectly, is almost always better than disappearing.9. Beware All-or-Nothing Thinking in CommunicationDr. Newman applies one of CBT’s most foundational concepts, challenging black-and-white thinking, to our communication habits. You don’t have to choose between long silences and a 90-minute heart-to-heart. A quick text saying “Thinking of you” is a powerful middle ground. He calls these “random acts of kindness through text,” which are small gestures that send a meta-message of care.CBT Connection: All-or-nothing thinking is one of the most common cognitive distortions identified in CBT. Recognizing and challenging it opens up a range of behavioral options we might not have considered (Beck, 1976).10. Match the Medium to the MessageText messaging is ideal for quick logistics and small kindnesses, but it strips away tone of voice and body language. Dr. Newman shares a vivid example of a patient whose text “I don’t care” (meaning “I don’t mind”) sparked a major argument with his girlfriend. For emotional or complicated conversations, choose a medium with more cues, such as phone, video, or in person.His rule of thumb: The more emotional and the more complicated the topic, the more cues are needed.11. The Gottman 20-Minute RuleDrawing on research by John and Julie Gottman, Dr. Newman describes how physiological arousal (elevated heart rate, fight-or-flight activation) makes productive conversation impossible. The Gottmans recommend taking a break during heated arguments and not resuming until at least 20 minutes after your heart rate returns to baseline.Dr. Newman applies this to everyday life: if you receive a message that makes you angry, wait until you’ve calmed down before responding. Otherwise, frustration will leak through even your most careful words.CBT Connection: Self-monitoring of physiological arousal is a core CBT skill. The Gottman research demonstrates that behavioral interventions (taking a break) must precede cognitive interventions (discussing the issue) when the body is in a threat state.12. Resolve to Resolve—Not to WinDr. Newman highlights one of the most destructive communication patterns: trying to win an argument rather than resolve it. He references the devastating scene in the film Marriage Story where two characters escalate insults in an attempt to out-hurt each other. When the goal shifts from understanding to victory, everyone loses.CBT Connection: The belief “I must convince the other person I’m right” is a cognitive distortion that fuels conflict. CBT teaches that making your point respectfully is already a success. Change in the other person may come later, or not at all, and that’s okay (Newman, 2014).13. Never Go to Bed Angry? Not So Fast.Both Dr. Reid and Dr. Newman agree that while the spirit of this advice is sound (don’t harbor resentment) the literal application can be harmful. Insisting on resolving a conflict when one partner is exhausted is destructive. The pers...
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Support During Fertility Treatments: “The Hardest Thing Is Reaching Out."
Feb 300:38:47Tap to summarizeJoin us for an intimate conversation with Dr. Keri Smotrich, Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Certified Perinatal Mental Health Counselor, about the emotional challenges of fertility struggles, pregnancy loss, and the journey to parenthood. We dive into the identity crisis that often comes with infertility, what to expect from those first medical appointments, and how to be kind to yourself through the process. Dr. Smotrich shares practical advice on setting boundaries with friends and family, managing the emotional roller coaster of hope and disappointment, and finding safe people to talk to. Throughout it all, Dr. Smotrich reminds us that seeking help is actually a sign of strength.*Please note: we briefly discuss pregnancy loss and miscarriage.Resources Mentioned:* Postpartum Support International (PSI) - Offers support groups, virtual meetings, and peer mentor programs for fertility challenges, pregnancy loss, and perinatal mental health* Penn Fertility Care in Philadelphia and surrounding areasConnect with Dr. Smotrich:Licensed in New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and 45+ states via SciPact for telehealth services. Visit her website for more information. https://keri-smotrichpsyd.clientsecure.me/Remember: Seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness. You don’t have to white knuckle through this journey alone.Thanks for reading A Mind of Her Own! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.Find Dr. Reid on Instagram: @jenreidmd, LinkedIn, and YouTubeYou can also order Dr. Reid’s book, Guilt Free! (If you are in the UK, you can order here and here.)Also check out Dr. Reid’s regular contributions to Psychology Today: Think Like a ShrinkSeeking a mental health provider? Try Psychology TodayNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255Dial 988 for mental health crisis supportSAMHSA’s National Helpline - 1-800-662-HELP (4357)-a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.Disclaimer:The views expressed on this podcast reflect those of the host and guests, and are not associated with any organization or academic site. Also, AI may have been used to create the transcript and notes, based only on the specific discussion of the host and guest and reviewed for accuracy.The information and other content provided on this podcast or in any linked materials, are not intended and should not be construed as medical advice, nor is the information a substitute for professional medical expertise or treatment. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this website is for general information purposes only.If you or any other person has a medical concern, you should consult with your health care provider or seek other professional medical treatment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something that have read on this website, blog or in any linked materials. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or emergency services (911) immediately. You can also access the National Suicide Help Line at 1-800-273-8255 or call 988 for mental health emergencies. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amindofherown.substack.com
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Doctor, Writer, Woman: Navigating Guilt and Identity at Midlife
Jan 2100:30:31Tap to summarizeJoin Dr. Reid, psychiatrist, creator and host of “A Mind of Her Own,” and author of Guilt Free, for this conversation with Nancy Reddy, author of The Good Mother Myth and creator of Be Less Careful and Mara Gordon, family doctor and creator of the Your Doctor Friend by Mara Gordon newsletter. We discuss: * External validation (fellowships, book deals) helps but isn’t the whole story—self-actualization with age matters moreOn Midlife Transformation* The conversation centered on women making big changes in midlife when life seems “set”* Mara just turned 40 and sees a shift toward self-actualization that comes with age* There’s power in coming to realize what doesn’t work for you (as Jennifer noted from Parker Palmer) as much as what doesOn Healthcare and Creativity* Both physicians emphasized the need for creative outlets alongside science—whether theater, writing, or podcasting* The medical system rewards quantitative efficiency over storytelling, yet healthcare contains rich narratives that deserve to be told* Writing in healthcare comes with unique fears: professionalism concerns, employer reactions, HIPAA violations, plus universal impostor syndromeAdvice for Healthcare Writers* Write beyond fear: Identify specific sources of fear (HIPAA, professional image, employer concerns) and name them* Find your values: What matters to you? Build work that lets you grow and shine in alignment with those values* Build community: Connect with other writers, mentors, and trusted friends who can help you navigate fears* Try different formats: Podcasts, newsletters, books—find what feels authentic to your communication styleNotable Quote: “I think anyone in healthcare has really the potential to create some beautiful work. There’s so many stories there that really deserve to be told.”The Takeaway: Writing is an act of courage, especially in fields like medicine where vulnerability feels risky. But midlife offers a gift—enough experience to know what matters, enough confidence to claim your voice, and enough wisdom to write beyond fear.Find Dr. Reid on Instagram: @jenreidmd, LinkedIn, and YouTubeYou can also preorder Dr. Reid’s book, Guilt Free! (If you are in the UK, you can order here and here.)Also check out Dr. Reid’s regular contributions to Psychology Today: Think Like a ShrinkThanks for reading A Mind of Her Own! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.Seeking a mental health provider? Try Psychology TodayNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255Dial 988 for mental health crisis supportSAMHSA’s National Helpline - 1-800-662-HELP (4357)-a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.Disclaimer:The views expressed on this podcast reflect those of the host and guests, and are not associated with any organization or academic site. Also, AI may have been used to create the transcript and notes, based only on the specific discussion of the host and guest and reviewed for accuracy.The information and other content provided on this podcast or in any linked materials, are not intended and should not be construed as medical advice, nor is the information a substitute for professional medical expertise or treatment. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this website is for general information purposes only.If you or any other person has a medical concern, you should consult with your health care provider or seek other professional medical treatment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something that have read on this website, blog or in any linked materials. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or emergency services (911) immediately. You can also access the National Suicide Help Line at 1-800-273-8255 or call 988 for mental health emergencies. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amindofherown.substack.com
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Slowly Building "Small Communities of Care."
Jan 1300:45:31Tap to summarize“We’re not alone...that’s kind of our mission and why we do the work that we do.”Anu Gorakanti (MD) and Laura Holford (RN) co-founded Introspective Spaces, a collective creating contemplative community spaces for healthcare workers to reconnect with themselves and reimagine a new way forward in healthcare. Now approaching their five-year anniversary, they share how they’re building “small communities of care” across the country—one relationship at a time.Introspective Spaces on SubstackListen to a prior podcast with Anu and Laura here!Key Themes:* The Power of Slow Work: “Change moves at the speed of trust” (Stephen Covey, via adrienne maree brown’s Emergent Strategy). Building authentic community takes time, and that’s exactly what healthcare needs.* From Isolation to Connection: Both founders started Introspective Spaces after feeling alone in their moral distress, believing they were the only ones struggling. Their mission: help healthcare workers realize they’re not alone.* The Imagination Battle: As adrienne maree brown writes, we’re living in someone else’s imagination. Healthcare’s current design is intentional—but healthcare workers can activate their own imagination to create something different.* Humanizing One Another: “What if humanizing healthcare starts with humanizing one another?” Breaking down silos between physicians, nurses, and other healthcare workers can shift the entire culture of care.Introspective Spaces Programs:* Artist’s Way cohorts (including a new healthcare parents group) Next cohort begins March 9th!! Sign up here.* Grief spaces and retreats* Book clubs using foundational texts like Emergent Strategy* Building interdisciplinary communities in 5-6 cities nationwide* Find them in Instagram @IntrospectiveSpacesOther Resources Mentioned:* Emergent Strategy by adrienne maree brown* The Artist’s Way program, based on the book by Julia Cameron* Let Your Life Speak by Parker Palmer (Listen to Dr. Reid’s interview with Dr. Palmer here!)* The Pitt (Max series depicting healthcare moments rarely seen in real life)Thanks for reading A Mind of Her Own! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.Find Dr. Reid on Instagram: @jenreidmd, LinkedIn, and YouTubeYou can also preorder Dr. Reid’s book, Guilt Free! (If you are in the UK, you can order here and here.)Also check out Dr. Reid’s regular contributions to Psychology Today: Think Like a ShrinkThanks for reading A Mind of Her Own! This post is public so feel free to share it.Seeking a mental health provider? Try Psychology TodayNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255Dial 988 for mental health crisis supportSAMHSA’s National Helpline - 1-800-662-HELP (4357)-a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.Disclaimer:The views expressed on this podcast reflect those of the host and guests, and are not associated with any organization or academic site. Also, AI may have been used to create the transcript and notes, based only on the specific discussion of the host and guest and reviewed for accuracy.The information and other content provided on this podcast or in any linked materials, are not intended and should not be construed as medical advice, nor is the information a substitute for professional medical expertise or treatment. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this website is for general information purposes only.If you or any other person has a medical concern, you should consult with your health care provider or seek other professional medical treatment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something that have read on this website, blog or in any linked materials. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or emergency services (911) immediately. You can also access the National Suicide Help Line at 1-800-273-8255 or call 988 for mental health emergencies. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amindofherown.substack.com
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