In this thoughtful conversation, Dr. Jennifer Reid welcomes back an old friend and UCLA training colleague, Dr. Marissa Caudill, to explore one of parenting’s most pervasive emotions: guilt. Dr. Caudill, who specializes in coaching parents of tweens with anxiety and ADHD, brings both clinical expertise and personal vulnerability to a discussion that every parent needs to hear.

The conversation begins with a fascinating dive into the neurobiology of new parenthood—how becoming a parent literally grows your amygdala (the brain’s fear center) and creates a new baseline of anxiety that never quite returns to pre-baby levels. Both doctors share their own experiences with postpartum intrusive thoughts, the kind that almost no one talks about but nearly 90% of new mothers experience. (More on the topic of postpartum intrusive thoughts and OCD in Dr. Reid’s interview with Jenna Overbaugh, LPC)

From there, they tackle the heart of parental guilt: the gap between our sky-high expectations and the reality of raising imperfect humans in an increasingly competitive world. Dr. Caudill offers a refreshing reframe—that pushing our kids to meet our script rather than honoring their story can actually undermine the attunement they need to develop resilience. She shares practical wisdom on distinguishing between anxiety that needs gentle pushing and resistance that deserves respect, and why sometimes doing “nothing” (just being present) is exactly what struggling kids need most.

You can also hear Dr. Caudill’s earlier conversation with Dr. Reid about Key Parenting Tips for the 21st Century

About Today’s Guest

Dr. Marissa Caudill, MD, PhD is a child and adolescent psychiatrist, mother, and parent coach. She focuses on coaching and education of parents of tweens with anxiety and/or ADHD (about 11% of kids have one of these diagnoses), empowering them to step up to minimize the chances their kids will suffer mental illness in adolescence. Parents have so much influence and power over their kids’ development, we just need guidance to cut through the noise. Find her on all of the socials as The Parent Doctor.

Find Dr. Caudill on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and YouTube

Find Dr. Reid on Instagram: @jenreidmd and LinkedIn

You can also preorder Dr. Reid’s book, Guilt Free! (If you are in the UK, you can order here and here.)

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Also check out Dr. Reid’s regular contributions to Psychology Today: Think Like a Shrink.

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This episode is part of the “A Mind of Her Own” podcast series called Guilt Free: Real Women, Real Voices, exploring how guilt shows up in women’s lives and how to move away from its painful influence.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amindofherown.substack.com