Family physician and writer Dr. Mara Gordon interviews psychiatrist Dr. Jennifer Reid about her new book Guilt Free (releasing January, 27, 2026). The conversation explores why women experience disproportionate guilt, how to distinguish toxic from adaptive guilt, and practical strategies for managing guilt—especially during the holidays.

The Guilt Equation

Dr. Reid breaks down guilt into a simple formula: Guilt = Expectations - Perceived Reality

“Guilt is the difference between our expectations of ourselves, which are created by many things, the difference between that and how well we feel like we’re meeting them.”

The problem? Women often set impossibly high expectations while minimizing what they’re actually accomplishing.

Holiday Guilt

December amplifies guilt because of:

* Cultural expectations about creating “perfect” experiences

* Pressure to control others’ emotions

* Comparison (social media, consumer-driven ideals)

* Ambivalence about events we “should” enjoy

“There’s a lot of guilt around the sense of I should be feeling a certain way. I should be making sure others are feeling a certain way around this situation... And these expectations, which as we’ll talk about are such a huge part of guilt, can really explode then.”

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Find Dr. Reid on Instagram: @jenreidmd, LinkedIn, and YouTube

Find Dr. Gordon on Instagram: Mara Gordon, MD

Dr. Gordon on Substack at My Doctor Friend here: Mara Gordon, MD

You can also preorder Dr. Reid’s book, Guilt Free! (If you are in the UK, you can order here and here.)

Also check out Dr. Reid’s regular contributions to Psychology Today: Think Like a Shrink

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