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There's nothing like the American Express Platinum card. Find out your welcome offer after you apply, which could be as high as 175,000 points. Learn more and find out your offer@americanexpress.com Explore Platinum terms apply the following podcast is a Dear Media Production welcome to the Absolutely Not Podcast, where we do the most and the least at the same damn time. I'm your host, Heather McMahon. Want to start a fire? Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast. I'm your host, Heather McMahon. How are you? My Southern accent is thick right now because I just touched down from the University of Mississippi, Ole Miss. I am dressed like a hot senior doing rush work week, which I will explain what that is in a moment. I've got a cute little gingham tennis dress on, titties are out. I'm showing my fat arms, get crazy. I have on my little library sports bar, powder blue hat, and I'm feeling like I'm just feeling alive. I've never felt more alive. I am youthful. I am reinvigorated. I mean, on the outside, I look like a hot senior. On the inside, every time I bend down to pick up my dog, the lack of cartilage in my knee cracks like you're opening a yeti cooler and about to pop open a cold one. But that's where I'm at. Outside, young, youthful, fun, sorority, hot, crazy inside, weathered old, osteoporosis, gout, acid reflux, sciatica, eczema, flare up. Coming. But that's okay, because that was 99% of my college experience. Except I think actually it was the opposite. On the outside, I was melting. No eyebrows, teeth had separated. But on the inside, I was having the time of my life. Why was I back in Oxford? Well, if you don't know and you're new here. Hi. Welcome to the Absolutely Not Podcast. It's a weekly podcast where I break down what I did the, you know, the last week, and we. Bullshit. I have a house in Oxford, Mississippi. I'm a proud alumni of the University of Mississippi. So we rented out for football games and we went back to get the house all ready for the new season. And I had such an incredible three days in Oxford because I got to relive the freshman experience through the point of view, perspective, and lens of an incoming freshman. We got to move in. Our dear friend Zoe. I adore her parents. They're like the best people on the planet. Shout out to Steph and Scott, and Zoe's an incoming freshman at Ole Miss. And so they stayed at our house. And her parents got her all set up in her dorm room. And we're gonna talk about all things dorm room interior design and decor. But I wanna just preface this. If you're listening to this with your kids, don't. I really think I wanna lock in this week to a, to go down memory lane. I, I, I really was reinvigorated. And there's like a fire that's been lit in my soul to retell some of these stories and just to tell you what I observed. Because I know that there are so many people who listen to the podcast. Cause I ran into them at the Home Goods and the Walmart in Oxford, Mississippi. And they're like, girl, girl, I'm moving my daughter and she's a freshman. I'm moving my kids in. This is crazy. So to be, to, to re experience that now as like the cool aunt. And to meet all of y' all who were, I know, were sobbing in the Chick Fil a parking lot after you had dropped off your kid. And then they acted like they did not know who you were, even though you had just put in blood, sweat and tears to interior decorate their fucking dorm rooms. Like, I hear you, I see you. I wanna hold everybody who is an empty nester. I wanna hold your hand also. If you are a freshman or you're a girl and you're a young sorority girl and you're listening to this. I wanna hold your hand. Cause you're about to start a new school year. We're. And I get goosebumps even thinking about it. And I know it's like, heather, quit being nostalgic. But it was so much fun to relive that. That first weekend of being a freshman going back to school, there was no better feeling. I found my bid day photo and I sent it to Christina and you know, AKA Tina. And she's in her PI Fi jersey. I'm in my Delta Gamma jersey. And I found this photo. I was like, oh, my God, Christina, look at the light in our eyes. We look exhausted. We look so tired. But we just had glowing youthful skin. And we both had so much optimism. You see these just shit eating grins on our faces because we're like, this is the rest of our lives. I mean, so much fun going down memory lane. And so many things have changed since we were in college, which I want to touch on. But I also got to go to the Delta Gamma house, which is my alma mater, shout out to my girls, anchor up, anchor up, sisters. And it was so much fun getting to surprise the girls and talk to them during the rush work week, which we'll get to, but let's just start here. Absolutely not. And yes to the fact that the kids these days, dude, they ha. They are living in the lap of luxury. Now, don't get me wrong, these dorms still look like prison cells. And it is surprising to me how. How little we have updated some of the bathrooms in these dorms. Okay, you are still one slip in an Adidas shower sandal away from getting full tetanus. So I hope that, you know, if you're an anti vaxxer out there, I do hope that your children did get tetanus shots or they're. They're up on whatever they would need to not end up with a crippling bout of athlete's foot and possibly lose a limb to the tetanus. So I do hope, if you're listening to this and you realize, oh, my kid is not up to date on certain shots, have them go to the health center at their respective university to go ahead and get jabbed with whatever they need. Cause that's coming. That is coming. While the dorm rooms may be fully decorated, like we are about to do a breakdown on Architectural Digest, the bathrooms are still at the corner of oh, my God. And is that mold? Okay, so absolutely not to the fact that we have not updated a lot of these bathrooms, but it was really funny to watch so many of. Everywhere I went, I was at the Walmarts. I was at the Home Goods. I'm bopping around town doing things for my own home there, and I'm running into Mama's left and right, and they're like, girl, first of all, you cannot just walk around Oxford, Mississippi. This is crazy. And I'm like, bitch, I'm in Home Goods fighting for an outdoor rug just like you are. Okay? Because I'm gonna have drunk college kids staying at my house, and I need. I. I'm out here fighting for the last set of fresh towels at the Walmart, just like you are now. A couple observations that I really loved was watching all of the new parents who are from up north, who are from Northern California, Chicago, New Jersey. The amount of kids that are from Mississippi going to Ole Miss is like, it's very slim now. It is so diversified. You know, the Yankees found out that we got a good thing going down in the sec. Now they want to be a part of it. And I said, interesting, interesting. So you're willing to come south of the Mason Dixon line for an Education. It's funny. Y' all have talked so much shit on us for so long. But what do you know? Sweet, sweet Caroline, your daughter now is. Wants to be a Kappa. I understand. I see you. I see you. And I'm welcoming you with open arms because that's what a good Southern woman does. But I want you to know that we have not forgotten the amount of shit y' all have talked on us. And if you bring up the fact that y' all won the war during Rush, she will get cut. She will get cut. But I'm in Walmart looking for, you know, I don't know, some nuts and bolts and something silly. And the amount of. I met, like, four families from Chicago. They all have, like, Chicago Bears hats on, you know, White Hawks hats on. And they're walking around death gripping the buggy in the Walmart. Now, our Walmart in Oxford is like, the Walmart. It's a good Walmart. And they are death gripping this buggy because they've apparently never been in a Walmart. And there was nothing more hysterical than seeing, like, the dad, the mom, the two younger brothers who were, like, 16 and 15. And they were like, oh, my God. Yo, we came down to check out Ole Miss because my sister's moving into the dorm, and maybe there's some hot girls, but also, they did. The whole family just looked panicked, excited, confused. And I circled this same dad six times. I saw him in Home Goods. I saw him in Marshalls. I saw him in Walmart. Everywhere we went, he just kept tipping his hat to me. He's like, we're still at it. But they looked confused, perplexed, excited, like they were at Disneyland. Like, being in the south was a completely. They're like, who are these people? Where are we? Where are we? What is this? What is this? Feta dip? I've never heard of a spicy feta dip that seems a little crazy and Mediterranean for being in Mississippi, but it's good. I'd like some more, please. Just everyone look confused. And it took me back to when I moved into the dorms. My dad flew down in his little airplane and parked at the Oxford airport, and my mom and I were the ones who were actually moving in. And my dad was so distraught, so unbelievably distraught that I was going to college. He, like, wouldn't come in the dorm. Kyle never once brought a bag into the dorm. And my dad and I were thick as thieves. So I want you to know, supportive father, but acted emotionally immature the day that I moved into college. He was outside smoking a cigarette by the oak tree next to a big magnolia tree, just ripping menthols, chugging a caffeine free Diet Coke and a Georgia Tech T shirt, Being like, y' all feel comfortable leaving your kids here? Cause if I could, I'd take off all of her limbs and make her a paraplegic. So she just had to sit and stare at me, watch X Files all day. That's how much I love my baby girl. You know, Kyle was pressed. He was pressed that I was going to college. Maybe because he thought I maybe didn't have an opportunity to go to college. Cause the grades, you know, I had good grades, but the test scores were not solid. But I'm running around campus. Cause I'm heading to the DG house and I see this exact moment happen. There is a dad, clearly from up north. There is a dad standing behind a Mercedes Benz and the trunk is popped. He's kind of under the shade of a tree. And Jeff is dropping me off. And we both observe it. We're sitting at the stop sign and Jeff's like, look at this dad. And this guy is literally like hiding a cigarette. He's hiding a cigarette kind of like perched down behind the trunk. And I know exactly what's happened. He is moving into the dorms with his ex wife, right? And my parents were happily married when they moved me in. But I know what was happening in this situation. This guy is moving into the dorm with his ex wife, Cheryl. And he's like, I just, yeah, you know what? I'm gonna go find those extra hangers downstairs. And then he's just downstairs by the Mercedes Benz. This is why I divorced her. She's fucking controlling and bossy and talks down to me. This is why I divorced Cheryl. Like, it was already hard enough moving into the dorm with parents who were happily married. I want to say an absolutely yes. Want to give a big hug to the kids who had to move in with divorced parents. You know, they were bags on their shoulders. Dad's carrying a step stool. He's got a little tool kit. They're screaming at each other in the elevators, you know, she's like, well, Mark, this is why the marriage didn't work. Hand me those duvet covers. And the poor girls just sitting there and she's in her outfit and she's like, I swear to God, I can't wait to start school because he's. My parents fucking suck right now. I asked them, we were literally sitting at the Holiday Inn last night. I said, can you Guys, fucking for two seconds. Be emotionally mature to get my ass into this dorm room and quit fucking bickering. Like, stop. You're both remarried, but you're both still secretly in love with each other. But can you fucking stop? Like, that was going on in her head. But because she was moving to the dorm. It was game face. It was full game face. But I see this guy and he's just ripping cigs. And I was like, I know that he's going through it. He gave me divorce dad Vimes. Not that I want to put a blanket judgment on everybody, but I just felt him. Like, I felt his energy. He's like, I'm getting bullied up there. Every time I go up there and I try and suggest something, I'm getting bullied. And see, this is why I left Cheryl. I mean, technically, she did have sex with the golf pro at our club, but this is why I left her, because she bullies me. Oh, y' all don't like my idea just to put some plastic bins under the bed, you know, for your grove outfits? Oh, you don't like my idea? Well, fine, you're not gonna like the idea when I serve you paper, Cheryl, and I end up dating my secretary. That was. That was the look on this guy's face. And I know his daughter and his wife, his ex wife, were just up there decorating, fucking gluing hot gluing, stapling, just making that room so perfect. And they're like. And you know, the mom is also toxic. She's like, honestly, I know you didn't want your dad to come this weekend. We do need him to carry heavy shit, but, my God, he's fucking annoying. And she's like, I know, Mama, I know. I get it. I get it. We love him because he's paying for tuition, but he's fucking driving us nuts. Now, I want to touch on the elephant in the room, which is these kids nowadays who have completely decorated interior design level decorations in their dorm rooms. Absolutely. Yes to the fact that the generation of children right now going into college whose parents hire interior designers for their dorm rooms, their parents love them so much more than our parents loved us. I know what you're saying, Heather. It's different times, okay? The money is different. Maybe these parents are. Have. Are more wealthy. No, no. My parents did not love me enough. I'll tell you right now. Just let's. Let's break it down to brass tacks. The parents now love their kids more than our parents loved us. Like I said, my dad couldn't even come into the dorm room. He was so distraught. He just stood outside and smoked a cigarette and drank a diet Coke and was, like, sweating under an oak tree. My mom literally opened my dorm room, threw a bed in a bag from Bed, Bath and Beyond into the room. Like a hand grenade. She ripped off the tag, threw the bed in the bag in the room, and then was like, where can I get a glass of red wine? I'm starving. And then ran out. Everybody online is trying to almost. They're just, like, trying to shit on these. These perfectly decorated dorm rooms. And I just want you to know you can talk shit all day long. You can say, oh, my God, what a waste of money. Can you believe this? Look at this opulence. It just comes down to the fact that our parents didn't love us that much, okay? That's really what it comes down to. Our generation of parents, the boomers, not really emotionally mature, couldn't handle situations. Probably some sort of, like, codependency. These parents are outsourcing, and they're like, I want my kid to have the best foot forward. I want my kid to have the best experience in college. Damn it, Darnell, call the. Call Miranda. Get her. He's like the lady who did all of our lake house. Who designed our lake house. Call her. We're going to Oxford. Call her. Tell her we want a Palm beach themed dorm room. Get her on the horn. They love their kids more than our parents loved us. Just face it. Instead of writing snarky, mean things on all of these Instagram pages, be like, yes, queen, I love that. Pillow with friend. Let these kids live. First of all, they're all Covid kids. Half these kids are lucky that they have social skills. They spent the last couple years online. They're actually having to go out into the world and meet new people. And we want to shit on the fact that they want gorgeous Schumacher wallpaper in their dorm. Let them live. Now, I do have an absolutely not for the designers. Absolutely not to the dorm room interior designers for their lack of social media skills. Help me help you. The amount of videos that I saw where they're doing, like, a dorm room reveal. For the love of God, Barb, put it on point five on the phone, okay? The dorm room's only the size of a baby sock, so you got to put that phone on point five, okay? And the best is all of these designers. Like, I hire a young gay man to run your social media, okay? If you're living in Jackson, Mississippi, knock on any door and There is a young gay man, maybe closeted, but young gay man who could run that social media. Watching these like middle aged women try and run their social media. Now, mind you, they have just put in blood, sweat, tears for the last 24 hours to make these dorm rooms look like you're staying at the breakers in Palm Beach. And then every time they're like, hi, it's Barb. It's Barb with Mississippi Interiors. Y' all want to see what. Y' all want to see what MacKenzie's dorm room looks like? Come this way. And then they open the door. You can't even see. You have no idea what is happening in this room. The phone is just kind of like blurrily focused on a throw pillow on the futon. And then the mom, you know, mackenzie's mom walks in and her fucking blowout is covering half the screen. That's what I was really upset about. I'm like, here you are being an entrepreneur, a woman in business out there just fucking cashing checks and doing the most. And we can't even get a young gay man from Jackson, Mississippi to come up and take the footage. Baby, set up the GoPro. Where is the time lapse? I want to see the whole thing. I saw one woman who was posting design photos that she had made on AI. Finished product coming. But this was the design consultant on AI. I said, no, no. If you're going to do the dorm room, I want you to have a CAD drawn. I need a mood board. I want you to do it right. Don't half ass this, for the love of God. If you're getting paid $20,000 per room, per student, you bet your ass. You better invest in some social media. I'm not gonna. I cannot promote your business, Barb, of doing dorm room interior design if you can't meet me halfway. Cause right now you're half assing it. The amount of sheer, like, blowout backs of heads that I saw in all these videos. And then like, hey, mama, can you move? Hey, mama. Hey, mama, can you get out of the way? Hey, dad, can you get out of the way? I'm trying to show the dorm room. Be professional, get your shit together. Because I'm trying to promote Yalls business online. Meanwhile, you're getting fucking cooked in the comments. And I'm trying to be. I'm trying to. I'm in there. Room looks great. I love the throw rugs. I love it, I love it. I love how high the bed is. Some of these beds are like teed up so high that when the girls lay down to sleep, they're gonna be kissing the ceiling. You know, it's insane. I don't even know how some of these girls are going to get on these beds, and they have, like, a perfect little tufted little ottoman to get on the bed. I'm gonna tell you right now. I'm just going to say that the correlation of elevated beds in these decorated dorm rooms to the amount of hospital visits we're going to have. Give it a couple weeks. Give it a couple weeks. When the kids start partying and they're doing their thing. I'm just worried. I'm worried sick about them. The beds are high. The beds are a little too high. And my roommate my freshman year lived on the top bunk. We had a futon underneath. Her bed was the highest. It was like an actual bunk bed. And then mine, kind of catty, cornered, and she fell off the bed one night, landed on that futon into a laundry basket. It saved her life. It did save her life. But absolutely, yes to the fact that all of these kids just have parents who love them more than our parents loved us. We're just a different generation. This episode of the podcast is brought to you and sponsored by ro. You know what? I'm telling you right now, RO is a total game changer. 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Honey, it may not feel like autumn right now because it is boiling outside and it's August, but guess what? It'll be here before you know it. And this is what I love. The time to go through your closet and say, what did I not enjoy wearing this summer? Well, I gotta get something new and I feel like sweater season is gonna be here before you know it. And you know where I'm buying my sweaters? I'm buying them at Quint's. You know where I'm buying my new gorgeous jeans? I'm buying it at Quint. You know where I'm buying a stunning, gorgeous couch made out of perfect java colored performance fabric velvet. I'm buying it at Quint's. I tell everybody I just bought their new linen sheet set. I am currently laying on a linen fitted sheet and I have never felt more luxurious. I have never gotten more compliments. People are like, oh, Heather, wow, your sheets look fabulous. Your couch looks great. Your outfit looks fantastic. Honey, it's all from Quint's. Quint's is the best. 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And again you go to q u I n c e.com Absolutely. I've said this before, I hate to be redundant, but I wasn't even allowed to have a laptop till junior year because my dad ran an IT company and he thought that somebody was going to steal my laptop and My identity. I'm like, dad, how am I supposed to put this Dell on what, in a red wagon and carry it up to the library and then plug it in to the main system? Like, help me. He's like, you're a theater major, Heather. You don't even need a fucking computer. I'm like, yes, I do. How am I supposed to upload all my Facebook albums from the night before at the bar? It's wild that digital cameras have made a comeback. I mean, when I was in college, I had a digital camera around my wrist and I would just. I mean, it was an absolute party hazard, the fact that we all didn't get knocked out from the digital cameras. Because when Petey Pablo came on, came on the loudspeaker at the library sports bar, they're like, north Carolina, come on and raise up. Take your shirt off. And I just had that digital camera rolling around Mick Ultra in one hand, just. I'm surprised people didn't lose teeth. Oh, absolutely, yes and absolutely not to the interior design dorm rooms now. And I love. I'm so obsessed with it because I had a sorority sister who actually started this trend 20 years ago. Not when we were in college, but when we graduated. This was her full time business, and she doesn't do it anymore. I don't think so. I'm not gonna put her on blast. But I just want you to know that I've always surrounded myself with trendsetters, and Dindy was the first to do it. Dindy, if you see this, I don't even know if you listen to the podcast. Dindy, you and I could not be more different these days. But she was the first one to do it. Dindy, you were the first one, bitch. I love it. I'm obsessed with it. We're all just so sad and bitter that our parents didn't love us that much. My parents didn't even move me out of the dorm. I had to open my second story window to have 14 of my Delta Gamma sisters shove a futon out. And we just prayed it landed in the dumpster. I left my fridge. I think I left my desktop computer. My room my freshman year was a bed in a bag. A zebra print, like, doily on the, on the wall. And I think I had a picture of like, Marilyn Monroe with her skirt up with the, you know, standing in front of that, over that iconic manhole or subway grate with, you know, the air blowing up her skirt like crazy. Marilyn Monroe. And then I have 75 sorority and fraternity party pics and if you don't know what a party pic is, they had a professional photographer come around and take the worst possible photos of you ever that you would then find in some sort of weird wooden box 20 years later, and you'd open that box and go, wow. Wow. Nobody should have ever let me out of my dorm. I will say absolutely yes to the fact that we got to live a relatively free lifestyle in college. I mean, I don't mean to date myself, but 2005 is the year that Facebook came out. So we were hardcore, putting up Facebook albums. And social media had just started. So you stalked people on Facebook, but people weren't out taking photos the way they did. There was no cell phone camera. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You had a didge. And then if somebody took a didge that you knew was bad, you could beat them up in the bathroom at the bar and be like, delete it. Now there's cameras everywhere. We got to live free. And the most terrifying thing that would happen is you go to a date party, a themed frat party, whatever it was a formal, a swap, a mixer, a social. And then the next day, you would. And there'd be 60,000 photos, and it would be that the party pick person was always some sort of grad student who was making extra money. And they, like a pervert, like a fucking creep, would walk around the party and just take photos of drunk underage kids. Like, when you think about it, it was actually really creepy, and we're all dressed like naughty nurses. And then you just scroll through and you'd be like, oh, my God, photo22698. That's not a good one. And you would sit there in the Delta Gamma house the next day on someone else's laptop because, you know, I had a desktop. And you would look through everyone's photos, and you're like, what photo are you? Like, 36,942 must be deleted. But it never got deleted. And you immediately ordered it, and then it would get shipped. Physical. Physical copy of the photo would then get mailed to your sorority house, your dorm, your post off your P.O. box on campus. And you'd open it up every. It was like every Thursday, you'd open up that freshly printed party pics, and you'd look at how what a degenerate you were the weekend before at the Halloween party, and you just go, I love that girl. God, she's going places. Nothing better. Yeah, my parents barely moved me in, barely moved me out. I had 14 pairs of wedges that I just threw in a wicker basket at the. The bottom of my closet. There was no wallpaper. There were no drapes. I remember I went into one person's room on my floor, and the girls knew each other because they went to high school together, and they had coordinated bedspreads. And I was like, whoa, whoa. You guys are out of control. Oh, I'm sorry. Somebody call Anna. One tour at Vogue because we have matching monogram bedspreads. Whoa. Okay. Crazy. Oh, there's nothing better than that. First week of school, though, you made friends on your dorm. And this was. We didn't rush till the middle of the semester because it was a whole thing at Ole Miss. The lure of it is, is that so many girls went to Ole Miss, and if they didn't get their sorority that they wanted that, then they would leave school and drop out. So I was in this sweet spot in 2005 where we did not start rush until the middle of the semester. And that's probably why I ended up in a good sorority. Had I gone through rush before, I got to really sow my wild oats and meet any of these gals, I don't know if I would have gotten in a good sorority. I think I just had enough time to be lurking outside the bar that when I saw, like, a future sister walk out of the bar, I was there with a. With a bic ladder being like, hey, you need a lot. And she's like, thanks, girl. What's your name? And I'm like, I'm Heather. I want to be a Delta Gamma. Are you cool with that? And she's like, yeah, bitch. Like, that's the reason why I got in. But these freshmen, I mean, there's a lot of pressure. First of all, they went from being basically completely online for, like, two years of their school to then being pushed back into society and having to reassimilate to how you know how to speak to other humans. And now they move into the dorm. They have two days to move into the dorm. It better be fully fucking decorated. And then they have 14 minutes to catch their breath. And then they have 10 days of rush. Like, we're not giving these young women enough credit. My God, what can't we do? The amount of husbands, though, that were truly in the best way, just in the way during the move, in the amount of moms that were walking around, the Marshalls, the home goods, the Walmart, being like, have you seen your dad? I gave him one job, which was to get paper towels and an all purpose cleaner. And tell me why he's in the back of Walmart looking at fishing rods. Fuck sake, Mark, lock it up. We got 25 more minutes with this fucking U haul. And how the hell are we going to make mackenzie's dorm look like she's staying at the Plaza Hotel in New York City? Put down the fishing rod, go get us a Subway sandwich and fucking do something. Oh, God, it's so good. Damn, we're cranking through. I haven't even gotten to half the shit I wanted to talk about today. Now, I did want to answer some very specific rush questions. Sorority questions. I get these all the time. And so many of my friends in comedy cannot believe that I was a sorority girl at an SEC college. And they want to talk shit like, I've been backstage at shows and they're like, you weren't a sorority. And I'm like, fuck, yeah, I was. Yeah, I had friends. Did I pay for some of them? I could have, but I love that when people who are not in Greek life, they're like, I didn't have to pay for my friends. Fuck you. Oh, okay, Melissa. Oh, okay. I wasn't paying for friends. You know what? I was paying for fried food because we had fried Fridays every day at the DG House. Fried. I was paying for fried hush puppies and T shirts. That's what I paid for. I would have been friends with these dumb bitches any day of the week. And I hate to call them that, but you know what I mean? I love that argument. Absolutely not to people going, oh, you were in a sorority. At least I didn't have to pay for friends. Yeah, we could tell. GDI's goddamn independence. No, guys, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Everyone relax. They're going to splice this. I'm already dressed like an absolute 22 year old. You know, I'm like crazy, but I have my fat arms out. So I keep adjusting. I have insecurities. Do so funny when people are like, no, I didn't do a sorority because that was stupid. That was paying for friends. I didn't do a fraternity because it was stupid. Now granted, if I we were not hazed, by the way, I want to make that very clear. Had there been a hazing situation, I would have told everybody, we'll see you. Not gonna happen. But I would have proudly just partied with my my friends who did tap dance in the theater department, but that was also a thing. My professors in the theater department kind of shit on me because I also did social aspects because I was in a sorority. Ask any of my friends who also did Greek life. We were frowned upon. So I was getting it from both angles. My. My theater professors were like, shame on you for wanting to fit into social norms. I was like, guys, I just want to party. I'm 19. I'm out of the house. I want to have a good time. Doesn't mean I can't do Cyrano de Bergerac or Thoroughly Modern Millie on a Tuesday and then be at the fucking sports bar on a Wednesday dressed as, I don't know, Princess Diana at a favorite dead person swap with the Sigma news. Having a good time. Like, why can't you do both? I'm so sick of this whole thing where you gotta be one thing and I would get in trouble. Dude. I had a professor who we should sit down and break bread and kiki and shake hands and kumbaya, but really got pissed. I was like, oh, so you wanted to be an sorority? I'm like, yeah. Cause when I get outta here and I know that you can't help me get a job, I'm gonna need to call one of these gals who's got a gay uncle who lives in New York who's a Broadway producer and be like, hi, can I have 10 minutes of your time? I'll take you for a coffee. Don't people understand? It's called networking. Maybe I need to go back to. Maybe I need to do a TED talk on the importance of Greek life. I think I might need to. I love the argument. I didn't pay for my friends. I didn't either. I was solely paying for fried foods and party picks. That was it. Let me live. I had so much fun. But let's get back to answering some of Yalls questions. I put a prompt up on Instagram so that I could answer questions for so many of y'. All. And I forget that we also have fans from all over the world. We've got listeners in Australia, Ireland, South America. So I know that this is probably a completely foreign concept to you, and I'm happy to answer your questions. But just so you know what I did, I went and gave a little pep talk to the current Delta Gammas, whom I love. I love going back to the house. There's. There's. And what you need to understand is they're doing this thing called work week. What is work week? It's where all the current members who are then going to participate in Rush. What is Rush? Rush is where you interview, if you will, all the potential new students that have signed up for Rush that are coming, you know, all the new freshman girls, they go through this process of these different parties and these different rounds, and you get to know them, you interview them, you perform for them, and they get to choose you. You choose them back and forth, you rank each other, and then hopefully, if everybody lines up, you end up in a house. In a. In a house. That's how it goes. But work week is where all the current members, they study, they learn, they rehearse their dances, they do their thing, they get together, they have sisterhood moments, and they prepare themselves to host 2,300 girls that are coming through Rush. Now. It has changed, okay? I felt so honored that the girls, I. I surprised them. I sent in a video being like, sorry, I can't make it. You know, I wish I could be there. And then they open the chapter door and I come in, and all the girls are screaming. And I was like, I've never felt cooler, y'. All. I have sold out Radio City, and I have never felt cooler than walking into the chapter room in the basement of the Delta Gamma house at Ole Miss. And the girls being like, I immediately. I started to sweat in a way that I didn't know my body could produce. Like, you're already in Mississippi, and it's hot. It was a, oh, my God, I'm a star moment. I've never felt cooler. I've never felt cooler in my life. I could sell out Madison Square Garden. And there will never be a greater feeling than walking in and knowing, like, wow, wow, you're kind of cool. And I'm sure there was a couple girls who were like, who is this? Oh, this is the girl my mama loves. That has been humbling for me. Very humbling. I'm not even 40 yet. And a lot of the girls, like, my mom loves you. And I'm like, cool, cool, cool. Your mom was a teen mom. Young, youthful. But there are moments where I was like, okay, yeah. Do you know who I am? Oh, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Now, I will say absolutely not to the fact that everybody communicates, takes photos on Snapchat. This is new. It's foreign. Every single person, whether they were in a sorority, whether I met them out of the bar or met them at the home, goods took a photo at a. At a. I don't even know what this angle is. A 63 degree angle, kind of upside down. And I kept saying, like, girls, girls, help, help. Just up. I got my neck done, but up, up. You know what I mean, like, you know, help me. Their wrist was like upside down and they were posting these on Snapchat. And then I'm like, well, then how do you repost the upside down photo on the instag? That's where I really started to feel like a boomer. But I figured it out. So I go in there, I roast them a little bit, we have some fun. And then they're like, heather, would you be in some of our rush work TikToks? And I said, so they asked me to do a TikTok. And I'm like, girls, I'm sorry, what? Yeah, I love to now. Again, when we were in college, we. There was no social media. I mean, you posted like a bid day photo, but it went on an. You had to log into Facebook, then find the album that said like, best day of my life, and then click through 7,000 photos to find one that wasn't like half blurry. So all the different sororities do these tiktoks and they have theme days and I don't think people are giving enough credit to these young girls. They have posters. They have giant posters the size of the fucking houses. There's a new theme every day. So there's 25 art majors in the back just working like a sweatshop, trying to make new posters. Because every day it's a new theme. I happen to be there like hairspray, like 60s theme. Like the new girls in town, new kid in town. It was cute. It was great. They asked me to do a couple of tiktoks. I'm outside, I am sweating. I have a young woman who was a senior who just kept handing me. She was like my assistant just handing me an iced tea. She was like, heather needs peach mango. She's going down. I'm in a dress that I found in the back of my closet. That was 60s themes. It was. It's a size 12. I'm not a size 12 right now. I was busting out of it dripping. And these girls are doing full blown fucking routines. All the other girls are in the background cheering, screaming, yes, yes. And they're all doing this. There's a full social media team. There's like 10 girls on the social media team. They now have a publicist, like, let's just. Instead of saying like, I can't believe this, what they're spending their time on, guess what? They have driven. They have driven. They have drive. They are entrepreneurs. They're networking. They're out there running a fucking business. What are you doing? What Are you doing? What are you doing? I was so impressed. Dude. You want the military? You want the military to do well? Fire Pete Hegsgeth and put one of the social media team members from an SEC sorority as head of the Department of war and tell me we won't win, because we will. The men have been in charge for far too long. If I am ever worried about the state of the union, which I am right now, I'm calling a junior at the University of Mississippi in one of the top four sororities, and I'm saying, hey, get your ass to Washington. We got work to do. So you can shit on these girls all day long. You can sit online and be like, look at Bama Rush. Look at Clemson Rush. Look at Auburn. They are running businesses. They are doing philanthropies. What's our philanthropy? It's called service for sight. What do we help people who can't see? What are you doing? Yeah, that's the question. What are you doing, though? Oh, I'm doing a TED talk. I am doing a TED talk on this. You know, Your first drink of the night for a better tomorrow should be by ZBiotics. It's engineered by a team of PhD microbiologists. Pre alcohol is a prebiotic drink that breaks down the byproduct of alcohol, which is responsible for rough days after drinking. So here's what you do. Step one, drink the pre alcohol. For best results, make pre alcohol your first drink of the night. Step two, you're gonna drink responsibly, pace yourself, hydrate and get a good night's sleep. And step three, enjoy tomorrow. Wake up feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day. Listen, I really love the ZBiotics pre alcohol. 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Well, well, well. What do you know? Okay, the kids are going back to school, which means they're already driving you fucking nuts. You think that they're out of the house, but no, they're still lurking. Okay? And every day at 3:00, you gotta pick them up. And my girlfriend say, heather, come with me to pick up our kids. And I'm Passenger Princess. And I said I gotta bring a beverage with me. And that's why I've been doing carpal pickup with my Silent Flower. It's a non alcoholic THC rose. It's a crisp drinking substitute for the alcoholic version. It's nice and dry and not too sweet. The best part about it is it has rapid onset. So you feel the uplift in about 20 minutes with the effect similar to your favorite glass of. But guess what? You're not gonna wake up feeling like shit the next day. And then I can still be giggly and be the fun aunt and then the kids can torture me and tell me that they think I put on weight over the summer. You know, I love Silent Flower. 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They're local to Atlanta, so you know, I ride hard and I'm very into these and I'm going to be taking some on the road with me so that I don't have a hangover when I'm back on tour. Drink silentflower.com Absolutely. Okay, let me answer the questions that you guys sent in because I know there were so many questions. Okay, here we go. Now mind you, hold on, let me back up. This rush work week is where they just basically do all this social media and they get prep for rush and now these girls will have 15 minutes off and then they have to do 10 days of rush. Okay? So I want you to Know how hard they're working. Somebody said from an Aussie, hello from down Enda, who doesn't know much. Can you explain the vibes? Is it like TV movies where it's a popularity contest or is it different? No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, obviously there's like cool girls going through. You have no idea what you have to calibrate in order to get a girl into that sorority. You're looking at her grades, you're looking at her affiliations with other things. You're looking at, hey, is she a legacy? Was her grandmama a Delta Gamma? Was her sister a K O? There's rec letters now. I don't know if they do rec letters as much anymore, but I write recs all the time for people, which is where you have to get an older peer or somebody that was in that sorority to give you a letter of recommendation. It's like you're going for a job interview. That's the other thing. You are getting life skills. When you join a sorority, you have to be on time. You have to pass tests to know what's going on in the group. You have to do volunteer work. There's also other campaigning. We're running homecoming queens, we're running student body presidents. So you learn how to be in fucking politics. She said, this person from Australia is like, is it different? Listen, I mean, obviously if you have like, if there's 2,300 kids going through sorority rush, that's just too many different people trying to do different things. Like, yes, I'm sure there's always a popularity contest. Like when you're from Mississippi, they're like, well, we got to get the homecoming queen from the biggest high school in Jackson, Mississippi. And I got to Mississippi and I was like, I don't even know where Jackson, Mississippi is. I now know where it is. And I love all the people in Jackson, but for some of these kids who are living in Mississippi, it's like 13th grade, you know, it wasn't for me. I was coming in bright eyed and bushy tailed. I was, you know, I was like, I'm just happy to be here. So is it a popularity contest? Not really. Because when I joined my sorority, I KNEW I met 200 new people. I didn't know where they were from, who they were. We had maybe passed each other in the dorm. There was a lot of new faces. And I will say it's a popularity contest. Now this is where it gets, this is the drama. It's a popularity contest. If you're like, so say If I was a Delta Gamma and I had a little sister, a blood related little sister, and I was rushing her, and I knew that there was, like, I had a mortal enemy at another house, right? And it's not because she's in a different sorority. It's just a girl I didn't like. Maybe it's say, I don't know, next door at Phi Mu. This is just. I'm making this up. And then the 5 Mus are like, you know what? Oh, you. You had beef with Heather at the bar one night. We're gonna try and rush her fake little sister. We're gonna try and get her to be a Phi Mew. And then it's a thing called Dirty Rush. And they, like, surround. Like, it's usually a code of honor and ethics. Like, hey, if you're is coming in, they're probably gonna go what their older sibling is. But then they have this thing called, like, Dirty Rush where you try and you try and pawn them. Because then you get to wear, you know, the crown on your head, like, oh, you thought she was gonna go dg? Well, she's a fine mute. She's a fine mute. And you're like, you couldn't even get your sister. I thought you guys were close. You know? Now that was scandalous. That was scandalous. Somebody asked, what's different about rushing today versus when you were there? Dude, it's night and day, okay? We had to have a rec. We had to have somebody connected to that sorority write us a 12 page recommendation. Also, there was no social media for them to, like, look you up beforehand. That's the thing. These girls have been able to communicate. Hey, girl, saw you're coming to Ole Miss. You know, I'm a. I'm a PI. Fi would love to meet up for coffee and get to know you. There was none of that. The girls had to stalk us at the bar. And then again, I was on the dance floor with a digital camera around my neck dancing to Petey Pablo. Just swinging that thing. Take your shirt off, twist it around your head like a helicopter. Probably just sweating and smelling like cigarettes and Mick Ultras. So it is different because now the girls can just kind of stock online. They can be low key. They can have, like burner accounts, but. Okay, did you see that? Those cute girls coming from Missouri. Yes. Volleyball. Who does volleyball in the sorority? And they're like, I do. And they're like, okay, Michelle, you're gonna rush the volleyball girls. Cause we want volleyball girls. It's like you're able to find out what these people like, they had just to find me on the square in Oxford, Mississippi, eating a hot dog one night and be like, she's got potential. There's so much that is different about rushing now than it was when we were there. Any advice for someone wanting to rush next year? Ooh, we might have a young listener. Be you. You're gonna end up at the right house. Be you. Yes. You know, you see the. Of course all. And listen, when people are like, everybody dresses the same. Everyone always dressed the same. Even in 2005, when we were in college, you know what we wore to class every day? A pair of rolled Sophie shorts or Nike running shorts. None of us exercised. A giant Ole Miss T shirt that looked like. That looked like it was your dad's T shirt he wore to the gym. I would wear a T shirt that would go below my kneecaps. And then I'd wear a pair of New Balance sneakers and a North Face jacket. So this argument of, like, they all look the same. We all look the same everywhere, always, period. Trends are trends. That's what they do. That's what we do. You're wearing Golden Gooses. I'm wearing Golden Gooses. Oh, you're wearing Levi's 501s. Well, guess what? I've got them in my closet, too. This whole idea that we're all. Everyone's wearing the same shit, we're all buying the same socks off TikTok shop. So what are you talking about? You know, my best advice for somebody wanting to rush next year would be do your research. Find out if there's any girls that you know that are upperclassmen, that maybe you went to school with, that were cool, that were nice. Send them a dm. Put your best foot forward. You gotta shake people's hands. It's the biggest thing I learned from rush is you're out there networking. Hey, girl, I know your cousin. Your cousin was my camp counselor at Camp High Harbor. No way. What are you. You're tried out. Fantastic. I'd love to, you know. Can I take you for a coffee? That was the other thing, dude. So I'm on the square, right? And I'm at lunch, and these girls, these young girls are coming up. Hey, are you Heather? Hey, Heather. My mom's your biggest fan. And I'm like, hey, mom, like, clocking. Like, hey, I'm a freshman going through rush. If they came up and, like, introduced themselves, had the tenacity to be like, hey, you know, shake my hand, introduce themselves, I immediately was like, what's your name? Where are you from? You're from Houston, and I'm texting the advisors. This girl is so cute, fun, smart, doing the thing, wants to be pre med. Get her. You know, I was so impressed with these young girls going out there. You got to build a resume. You got to have your shit on lock. You got to keep your grades up. That's the other thing, too. The sorority doesn't allow you if your grade starts slipping. Boo boo, you on probation or you don't come back. Okay? We're building life skills. Any advice, though, would be do a little research. It's not just what you see online. Go and do a little research. Boots on the ground. Ask around. Find out the kids who graduated ahead of you. Find out maybe if they did one. And be yourself. Yes. Everybody's gonna wear the same rolled up T shirt that says, you know, philanthropy round at Ole Miss, but be yourself. Maybe don't wear a pair of golden gooses. I don't know. TV show idea. You as a house mom. Okay, can I tell you this right now? I turned to my husband and I said, babe, I love you, but I think my retirement plan is to be a house mom for the sorority. He's like, well, honestly, that's cool. Jeff said he could live in our house in Oxford, and then I could live in the house. Because he said that he has never seen me glow from the inside out the way I did after leaving the DG house and filming 25 TikToks. He's like, heather, you have never felt more alive. I was on cloud nine. I was levitating through the rest of Mississippi for the next, like, 24 hours. Levitating. And I realize it's because I don't have kids yet. And so I'm. I'm giving off cool aunt energy. Could you imagine if I lived in the Delta Gamma house? Could you imagine if I lived there? I'd be exercising with the girls. Oh, where are we going? We have formal tonight. Fit check. I'd be filming every TikTok. The social team, the social media team would finally get a break because I'd be like, get ready with me in my room. Like, it was so much fun being cool. It was so much fun. The food. Oh, my God. I would be down there at lunch. Lunch starts at 11. I'd be down there at 10:45 with my salad, with my crumbled chicken tenders and my bacon and my ranch and my iced tea. And I'd be like, girls, I want y' all to know the food is good. We got chicken, spaghetti, casserole, and I just made a double, double fat salad. And it is to die for. I would be so much fun. You know, God forbid somebody gets maybe a little trouble on the square. Who? You know, I'd be answering that. It would never be on do not disturb. I want you to know, if I was house mom, it would never be on do not disturb. I'd be ready and available to help each and every one of you at every moment of the day. 3:00am I'm in my sleep mask. Ring, ring. Hey, girl. Hey, girl. We have a situation. Somebody got pulled over. I'm like, I'm on my way. And then I would have a Vespa so I could get places quicker to be with my girls. Broom, broom. You know, I wouldn't even get in the Audi. I would have a Vespa, a pink and blue Vespa. And I would scoot up and be like, officer, she's in the honors college. Do we want to do this or not? You know, I'm just making up scenarios. My girls would never get in trouble, but you know what I mean? Cuz we got in trouble when we were in college and I'm not going to incriminate anybody. Allegedly. A lot of things were wiped off. A lot of things were wiped off records. So I'm not trying to get anybody, you know, in trouble for the past. You know, simple things. Minor in possession, you getting, getting caught with the fake id. Silly stuff, silly stuff. Nobody got hurt. Come calm down. But if you don't think that I would have maybe even not even a cell phone, maybe I would just have like one of those like call center mics on and sleep in a recliner. So I'm ready to go. I wouldn't even lay down fully. I'd be in a recliner. And then when I get the call, where are you? Okay, you're at the chicken on the stick, on the square. Somebody got caught with the fake id. I'm on my way. I roll up in a cheetah print robe, you know, on my, my pink and blue scooter. And I'm like, officer, they're like, heather, thank God you came. What's she in trouble for? Okay. Okay, so this is technically it's. There's a little bit of an identity. This is an identity crisis is what she's having. And then I would make it such a dramatic situation to the cop that they'd be like, yep, you just take her home. I'd be like, sweetheart, get on the back of the Vespa. Hold tight. Hold on to Mama. Hold on to Mama. I got us. And guess what? I already. Or I already unlocked the kitchen, and we're going to have some. We're going to have some snacks when we get back to the house, and we're going to talk about what happened here, because I told y' all to be smarter about them fake IDs, and you got a little too confident with that. Come on. Mama has some pimento cheese dip in the fridge. Let's go. Oh, my God. That's my dream. That's my dream. It's my dream. So I'm very down to make this show happen. Oh, my God. It's my dream. What do the different days mean? So the different days are themes. Honestly, it's a new concept to me. The different days of the rush work week are just, I think, for social media to get everybody excited. But the different days, when you actually go through rush, there's a opening round, which is called philanthropy. We called them water parties. Now, this is also what's so different. You would have a day where you go to every single sorority, and they'd break it up over, like, three days. So you go to, like, four one day. For the next, for the next, right? There's 12. And you'd walk in, and they're called water parties because they would only serve you, like, ice cold water. Maybe you got eliminated. Maybe an iced tea. And they would always serve sweet treats. Treats. So that's the thing. They don't serve food anymore. I, again, don't know how I got into a sorority, because I would go to each house, and I would absolutely judge that house on that sweet treat. I remember one of the reasons why I love Delta Gamma so much is they had these delicious, thick petaphores because I ended up getting cut from Kappa, which all my friends ended up being. A lot of friends ended up being Kappas. And they were like, we can't believe we cut you. And I go, I know why you cut me. I went from the DG house to the Kappa house, and when I went to go talk to the young women, I had blue icing, that had dyed my gums, my tongue, my teeth. I had cookie crumbs down my. My little shirt. And you had to wear the same T shirt for three days. I don't even think we got to wash it. So I get that. When I rolled into the Kappa house, they were like, ooh, okay. Okay. This is. This is a. This. Okay, Something's going On here, I get it. I looked like the Cookie Monster showing up to some of these houses. So when I reflect on who cut me, I realize it was in the line of succession of, like, where I had gone after dg. And I do realize that I was covered in fondant budgets for rushing. Is it expensive? Do they offer scholarships? To be honest with you, I don't know. I don't know. And these girls who were like, let me show you my bidet, my bidet outfit, Cartier, you know, all of these girls bought this shit off Sheen. So it's all probably knockoff anyways. I don't know. The budgets, it's totally different. I know. I can only imagine the pressure of being any sort of college kid these days with social media. You gotta have a new outfit for every fucking game, every event, all of this. I don't know. I don't know what the budgets are. I know everybody pays the same fee to, like, go through rush. I don't know what it is. All I know is when I was in the sorority, it was cheaper for me to live in the house, I would get all my meals at the house, than it was to be on the food plan at the university and pay for, like, the dorms or an apartment. So my dad was always like, this is pretty economical. But that was us. How often do you visit and can you just pop in whenever? I try and visit my girls, anytime I'm there. And yes, I can pop in whenever I, you know, I have the secret knock, and then I, I, I yell like a, A siren, an ocean siren. And they're like, she is here. Our future house mother is here. And I'm like, thank you, girls, but I love to say hi. But also, I respect what they do, you know? I'm not trying to creep. I'm not trying to creep. Last thing you like, I'm in cool aunt status right now. The last thing I need to be is where it gets creepy, where they're like, she's back, guys. You know what I mean? Everybody down to the chapter room. She's back. And I'm like, hey, did you miss me? I'm trying to, like, like, just hover at the cool ant spot. Is there beef with other sororities? We had no beef with anybody except if they tried to steal a legacy or a sister. And to be totally honest with you, the beef would last about two weeks, and then everyone was over it. I don't know if there's still, like, internal beef now. Like, I don't know what the scene is because when you're going through rush, you're so focused on what you're doing in your home, you really are not paying attention to outside outsiders. And can I just say something? This is so. This just breaks down the difference between men and women. Because fraternity rush is like, yeah, it's a week, and guys just go to different houses, and they wear the same blazer to every house. And I think they get, like, six natty lights at each house. And then the guys kind of, I don't know, wrestle and maybe show each other their dongs, and then that's it. And then you're like, I got a bid. You know, Sae. That's it. And that's just the difference between how organized women are and how we are always evolving and putting our best foot forward and really trying to win the race. And guys are just like, I showed up in the same jacket that I had from Joseph A. Banks. Smells like shit, and I'm here. Do you guys have a beer? Hey, do you want to be a Kappa cig? Okay. Like, that's it. And then they kind of beat each other up. I don't know. It was so different for us. There was never hazing. It was, like, joyful. I remember running down the street because you had to run. That was the thing. When you got your big card, we would all go to, I think, outside the student union when we did it. And nowadays there's so many girls who do it. They go through, like, stadiums. But we'd open our big cards all at the same time, and then you'd scream with your friends that were in your rush group, and you're like, where are you going, Katie? Oh, my God. Where you go? Ao pie? Dg. And then you would run, and all the frat guys would, like, line up to watch us run, and we'd all run down to dg, and I knew no one. And I'm just crying, and they're like, you're from Georgia. Here's one other girl from Georgia. And Dory, who is one of my best friends to this day, I'm like, where are you from in Georgia? She's like, val d'. Allsta. I'm like, that's, like seven hours away. I've never been there. Are you known for onions? And she's like, no, that's Vidalia. I'm from Valdosta. And I was like, okay, do you want to be my friend? She's like, yes. And that's how it went. That's what we did. It was a Beautiful thing. It was a beautiful thing. Okay, we got to get a couple more things in. That's what. That's where I'll stop at this. Okay. Because there's some other things in the pop culture world that I want to talk to, but that is. That was my recap of just being at the sorority and being back in school. And I hope this was, like, fun memory lane for anybody who was involved in that, or if you've ever wanted to look behind the curtain and know what happened, happens, I would be happy to answer more of your questions and break down that freshman year life, that sorority life, and just all of it. And you can always call into the hotline, 800-213-7503. But I did want to get this off my chest, because this is something that is coming out this week that I'm very upset about. And one of my major. Absolutely not. Says, why was I not asked to be on Dancing with the Stars? Why? Athletic stage presence, theater degree. Took lyrical jazz, tap, ballet was a little too heavy for it, but you get it. Modern. Did I say street jazz? Yeah. Stage combat. I'm classically trained. I would be fantastic. I would fit. I would check so many of the boxes. Curvy. They need one thick gal every season. Fun comedian, already owns personal glitter suits. Check. So I just see that that's coming out this week, and that's One of those DMs that I get all the time, is Heather. When are you gonna be on Dancing with the Stars? Heather, you'd be so good on Dancing with the Stars. Yeah. And I was actually backstage at a show last year in la, and one of the big producers for Dancing with the Stars was like, we should have you on. And I was like, yes, you should, Eric. And then I never heard back. So I just want to see who is. Who's going to be on Dancing with the Stars right now. Reality star Sierra Miller, who I love. Love island alum Mara Higgins, who I adore. Savannah Bananas. Baseball player Jackson Olson. So fun. He'll have great stage presence. And Jimmy Kimmel Live sidekick Guillermo Rodriguez, which I'm. I'm on board for all of those. But I wonder. They're going to announce this week, and I've been kind of, like, waiting on pins and needles. Let's see. Let's check the poly market and see what they say, because now everyone's, like, you know, making predictions on who's going to be in there. Oh, oh, okay. At the top of the list, Rob Roush, who was from Traitors who won Traitors. Also from Love Island. He would be incredible. And to have him and Maura Higgins on at the same time. I'm very here for second place comes to Miranda McWhorter, who is one of the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, shows up with the corpse of Joseph Smith himself. I'm over the Mormon Wives. Whitney did a great job. She was fantastic. Then went on to be a star. We're leaving it at Whitney. She was great. And then let's see who else the poly markets are saying Ashton Earle. Ooh, that could be good. 48% on the Ashton Earl. She'd be fantastic. Big shoes to fill after your. Your sister was a badass, you know, but I like that. I know that girl's up for the challenge. She can handle it. So that's what I'm seeing right now. Those are. Those are the possibilities. But I just feel very strongly that I'm ready. It's not gonna happen. This is. I'm not gonna, like, surprise you and be like, kidding, you know, clickbaited. You. They have not called. So maybe next year. Maybe next year. Okay. If you're watching this on Instagram, the. Or, sorry. If you're watching this on YouTube, my camera just died. And that's why we have to get out of this theater. That's probably why the fire alarm went off because the lights are too hot. But anyways, I'm gonna get out of here. I'm gonna do the voicemails next week. Also, we have an extra bonus episode tomorrow that I just recorded with a very funny comedian named Heather Shaw. She's so frickin funny and she's great and she's a big TikTok star and all those things, and we just have a very funny goal. So you get me twice this week. I'm sorry this episode was late, but you guys are gonna have a good time anyways. I love you. I mean it. I will see you on the next episode. Ciao Bella. Or River Dare Chi. And we'll do voicemails next week. Bye. Thanks so much for listening to today's episode. Don't forget to subscribe. Rate us and leave a review. And as always, follow me on Instagram at Heather kmcmahon. See you guys soon. The moon hop from train to train I feel the vibration taking control of me Shines a light so bright it plays out like a symphony I can hear it instantly.